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#yandere xiao x reader
allfearstofallto · 2 months
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Okay okay last one, I swear!! I just have so many ideas! But three more for the yandere historical au and I'm finished, pinky promise!!
[Part 1] [Part 2]
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Master Duelist! Xiao who has never lost a fight. Always challenged, but never the one to initiate, he was one of the reasons your family has such high honor. Even though many lords of higher status have offered to buy him for a pretty penny, he stays loyal to your family. Specifically to you. His opponents who see you in the crowd during their duel, know to just give up, he fights harder when you're watching. Every favor, embroidered handkerchiefs, that you'd given him, hang like trophies in his room. But upon learning that you're to be wed soon, he stands and challenges your fiance to a duel for your hand, one that he knows he'll win.
Butler! Thoma who has been in your family for years. Taken in by your parents and raised to be your right hand, the two of you grew up to be close friends, rather than typical master and servant. Despite this, he still finds ways to scold you, while also telling you how much of a gracious lady you've grown into. Maybe your closeness with him is why you decide to tell him of a rendezvous you're planning to have with a commoner boy that you've grown to like. Only, suddenly your home is more guarded than usual and your parents seem even more strict with you than before, almost like they know something you never told them.
Former King! Zhongli who steps down from his post shortly after his son becomes of age. While he no longer has his title, he's still heavily respected and praised by all. He saw you at a ball and formally invited you to the royal palalce. Your family excitedly rushes you into a carriage, thinking the invite is for meeting with the newly crowned King instead. Only, when you get there, Zhongli is truly the only one waiting for you. He sits you down next to him and compliments you almost incessantly, ending the conversation by asking you if you think he's too old to be considering a second marriage.
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Forgive me if these are bad!! This is my first time writing for any of these characters and I wanted to try!!
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unearthly-doting · 24 days
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finding their soulmate: genshin edition.
a/n: i haven't made a post here in a hot second and i honestly apologize about that lol. the motivation to write just hasn't been there but!! here's a small lil genshin post for now. i just spun a wheel to pick who i write but if u want me to write for some of the others then just lmk!!
includes: xiao, kaeya, kujou sara, albedo, tartaglia, and ayato.
warnings: mdni, yandere content, not edited, gn reader, kidnapping, forced relationships, arranged marriage, manipulation, reader injury in both kujou sara's, albedo's and tartaglia's parts, childe stabs you :peace sign:, canon is a very vague concept in my writing more often than not btw, this is kinda cringey </3, the yandere content in albedo's part is actually very mild bc i was restraining myself bc there was a lot i wanted to do w it.
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XIAO — never really cared much about finding his soulmate. His entire existence was dedicated to protecting Liyue, even if the nation no longer needed his protection. Besides, with how long he's been around, he just assumed his soulmate was long dead and that he'd never meet them. Though, a small part of him wondered... what was his soulmate like?
And, almost as if the universe had been listening, he ends up meeting you. His soulmate. It wasn't a classic, romantic meeting. He didn't save your life or anything like that. You were just a traveler who decided to stay at the inn.
He didn't think much of you until his eyes met yours and suddenly color was flooding into his world. It made him dizzy, and it stunned him into absolute silence because all he could so was stare at you with wide eyes.
You were clearly going through it as well, because obviously. You just met your fucking soulmate on a damn business trip. What the hell were you supposed to do now? It would be awkward to just... ignore what had happened, right? I mean, he's staring right at you and this was all just very overwhelming.
It was an awkward first meeting, that's for sure.
But during your time at the inn, whenever you were free from work, you spent it with Xiao. He was closed off, clearly keeping his guard up and not letting you get too close. You didn't know the reasons, but you didn't expect him to tell you his entire life story just because you two were apparently bound by the universe.
Honestly, you just assumed he didn't want to be with his soulmate. This didn't upset you. It wouldn't work out, anyway. You're only staying for a few weeks before heading home.
But archons, did Xiao want you. Behind his typical, distant behavior, Xiao was taking note of everything about you. Your interests, your habits, your sleep schedule, your favorite foods and desserts... everything you told him or subconsciously revealed, Xiao was tucking it away in his mind.
He wanted you. He wanted you to stay here, in Liyue, with him. Where you belong. But he didn't know how to express that. He's never been in love before, and it's not like he'll just suddenly become an expert at romance after meeting you.
When it was time for you to leave, he was crushed. He needed you to stay. He needed you by his side. Letters wouldn't be enough to fill the emptiness in your wake if you left. You had to stay.
You will stay.
And when you wake up to find yourself no longer in the inn, and instead in some small home deep within the mountains of Liyue, you're distraught.
Xiao looks genuinely guilty, robbing you of your freedom but... you understand, don't you? You have to understand. He just couldn't let you go. You're his soulmate, you were destined to be with him! You'll love it here, he'll make sure of it.
Just stay.
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KAEYA — had always wondered what his soulmate was like ever since he was a child. He would spend hours just staring at the small crescent moon forever stained on his wrist, wondering if and when he'll meet the person with a matching mark.
Of course, as he got older he spent less time thinking about such things, though he did always hold out hope that he might be able to one day meet his soulmate. Little did he know, he's met his soulmate already. Multiple times.
You took over Sara's shifts at the Good Hunter whenever she had other things she needed to focus on, so Kaeya has spoken with you on numerous occasions, he's just never realized you were his soulmate because you keep your wrists covered. He's not one to judge, his wrists aren't visible either.
Him finding out was an accident. You had been handing him his order when your sleeves rolled up a bit, and his gaze just so happened to look at your wrists and he saw the very same crescent moon that was on his.
And for a moment, he froze. He just stared. Long enough that you were starting to feel a little uncomfortable. But before you could awkwardly send him on his way, he was showing you the crescent moon on his wrist as well and thus began your love story.
Or... well... it's what Kaeya had hoped for, but you didn't seem interested in soulmates at all. You didn't want the universe to decide who you were meant to be with, you wanted to make that decision yourself, so you had, to put it simply, bluntly rejected him.
And he gets it! It hurts, sure. He spent his entire life dreaming of this day, and it's not turning out the way he had hoped, but... you guys can be friends, at least, right? No strings attached?
For a while, Kaeya was fine with that. You and he had a really strong friendship. He cared about you, and you cared about him. Though your feelings were platonic, he was holding on to the hope that maybe one day, you'll realize you two were meant to be together.
But it was starting to seem as though that day might never come, because almost a year into your friendship with him, you had told Kaeya that you were thinking about entering the dating scene. He was... not too pleased about that, honestly. It was pretty obvious too, the way his entire mood soured the moment you brought the topic up.
He didn't stand by idly while this happened. Any person he saw you chatting up with romantic intentions would suddenly avoid you like the plague the next time you saw them. Any blind dates would end with you being ghosted. Hell, even some of your friends, the ones who were helping you get dates, were starting to avoid you too. It was so confusing.
But not Kaeya. No, Kaeya was always by your side.
Whenever you needed him, he was there. He always seemed to be able to make time for you. He listened to you vent your frustrations out, never once judging you or telling you that you were being dramatic. He was the only constant in your life these days.
Of course, you were completely oblivious to the fact that he was the cause of all of this. It's not that hard to blackmail people, he's learned. But they didn't deserve you anyway, seeing how easily they gave up on you the moment he approached them.
Maybe... maybe dating Kaeya wouldn't be so bad... I mean, you're the one deciding this, right? The universe isn't having any play in it. This is your decision. Isn't it?
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KUJOU SARA — never cared about her soulmate. She knew she had one, you were in every dream she had. She found it to be more of a nuisance than anything else.
Her entire life was dedicated to her training, and to the Raiden Shogun. She neither had the time, nor the interest in searching for her soulmate. Besides, it didn't seem as if you resided in Inazuma. Your clothing was similar what people in Fontaine wear, and Fontaine was far away from Inazuma.
She was confident that she wouldn't be meeting you any time soon, so she never gave you any thought when she was awake. She never made any plans on what she would do if she did, by any chance, meet you. It didn't matter.
And she can't help but regret that, now that you're standing in front of her. If she had known that meeting her soulmate would make her feel like this, as if everything in the world suddenly made sense, then... well... she doesn't know what she would've done, to be honest.
No matter, Sara had no time to entertain you. Your stay in Inazuma was only temporary, so she saw no point in trying to form a bond with you. You, however, seemed to have different plans. She was used to seeing you in her dreams every night, but she was not used to seeing you in her waking moments.
Whenever she wasn't preoccupied with something, you were there to offer her company. It was annoying, and she's sent you away more than once, but that didn't seem to deter you. If anything, you seemed to become more determined each time she brushed you off.
At some point, she had given up on avoiding you. It was easier to just let you stick around. And, the more time she spent with you, the more attached she was becoming. It wasn't smart, she knew that, but could you blame her? You're so... irrevocably you.
Her fondness for you didn't go unnoticed.
Many people in Inazuma treated you with the same respect they treated Sara. You were her soulmate, after all. Should someone insult you, they would in turn be insulting her. Nobody wanted to get on her bad side.
There were, however, a few bad apples.
It should come as no surprise that a target was placed on your back the moment people took notice of Sara's attachment to you. She didn't think she'd have to worry much, because no one would be idiotic enough to actually try and harm you under her watch, but she should've known better.
It happened a few days before you were set to leave Inazuma to return home. A disturbance was going on within the city so Sara wasn't with you when you went on your daily walk just outside of it. It was supposed to be safe, but it wasn't.
Some vagrants had got the jump on you, and you nearly lost your life. You were lucky enough to have been found by some bystanders, but Sara was less than pleased when she heard about this. She had never taken pleasure in killing anyone before, but there was a deep-rooted sense of satisfaction deep within her chest when she watched the lives of those who hurt you fade away.
And as she sat by your side, waiting for you to wake up, she came to a decision. You can't be alone. If you are, you'll get hurt, and she won't be able to protect you. She can't let you leave Inazuma. She knows you'll more than likely hate her for making this decision for you, but if it means she can keep you safe, keep you alive and by her side, then... that hatred is something she'll be willing to bear.
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ALBEDO — doesn't have a soulmate. At least, he's not supposed to. He's an artificial being, so it wouldn't make sense for him to have a soulmate. Of course, he does find the concept of soulmates to be intriguing. Who, or what, decides who people are destined to be with? It's a question he hopes to find an answer to.
So he wasn't surprised when he found you passed out in the snow, deep within Dragonspine. He's seen this countless times before, travelers who don't take precautions before trying to brave the deadly cold that comes with being here. He assumed he would just nurse you back to health and you would go on your merry way.
That changed, however, when he was cleaning your wounds and he saw his name inked on your skin, right on your collarbone. In his handwriting, at that. It confused him, because... that would mean that he's your soulmate. But he can't be. And yet, it didn't come off when he tried wiping it off. It was a part of your skin.
This left him with many questions, though none of them got answered when you woke up. You couldn't remember much about yourself, other than your name and a few other details. You didn't even know why you were in Dragonspine, or where you were from. You did hit your head pretty badly, judging from the headwound, so that would explain the amnesia, though he's not sure if it was going to be something temporary or not.
You both decided it would be best to just have you stay here until you were able to recover some of your memories and although Albedo wasn't eager to make friends with you, he was grateful for the company. He was incredibly patient with you too, answering any questions you may have had ranging from a multitude of different topics.
And in return, you helped out as much as you could without overexerting yourself and making your injuries worse. You'd make sure to keep his little lab tidy when he was away. You'd help out with some of his experiments too, if he knew you wouldn't get hurt doing so.
All while trying to figure out how he could possibly be your soulmate. He checked over himself. Four times. Your name was nowhere on his body. So why? Why was his name on yours? As much as he hates to admit it, he thinks he may never get an answer to this mystery.
Though... that's not such a bad thing, he thinks. He finds himself enjoying your company more and more with each passing day, the whole soulmate thing rarely even crossed his mind. At least, until you had asked him why his name was permanently etched into your skin. It was fairly easy to explain everything to you, though he was unable to answer a few of your questions, sadly. Soulmates were still a mystery, after all.
And when you asked if you could write your name on him so you two could match, he found himself unable to say no. He found himself unable to speak at all, actually, as you wrote your name on his shoulder. You even added a little heart next to it.
But no, Albedo was too busy coming to terms with the feelings he has for you. They weren't new. He's been aware of them for a week or so now, he just never gave it much thought until now. Now, with you so close to him, it was simply impossible to ignore.
And once you pull away, you smile at him and say, "There! Now I'm your soulmate too, right?" And oh.
Oh.
There was no way Albedo was going to let you leave Dragonspine now.
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TARTAGLIA — feels a little bad for his soulmate, whoever they are. They can feel his pain, and he can feel theirs. So... they probably hate his guts, considering he's not the most careful person in the world. He pushes himself to his limits and beyond, and his soulmate has no doubt felt every single second of it.
Don't get him wrong, he would love to meet his soulmate. It's been a dream of his since he was a child, always eager to hear the story of how his mom and dad found out they were soulmates. Even as he grew older, the desire never went away. It was just... buried.
And his soulmate just so happened to be you, the significant other of a man who owed the Northland Bank a lot of money. He doesn't normally partake in debt collections, but he didn't have anything better to do so he decided to take this one on. He was going to use you as an example to your husband, though the moment his blade stabbed you, he froze.
He felt the pain. He stabbed you, and he could feel it. Oh fuck, he just stabbed his soulmate. That's definitely not the picturesque first meeting he was hoping for. Probably wouldn't be a good idea to tell his family this either...
Stabbing aside, he was utterly delighted. You, on the other hand, were terrified. Not only did this man just fucking stab you, his expression went from bored to something akin to crazed glee. He stared at you with a hunger that made you want to shy away from his gaze.
He doesn't care that you're already in a relationship with someone else. Not anymore, you're not. You're his, destined by the stars or however the story goes. And if your lover tries to get you back, he'll just kill them. Easy as that. Absolutely nothing will get in the way of him having you.
And he likes that you fight back against him. He especially loves it when you manage to escape. Hell, sometimes he'll even let you go just so he can chase you down again. It sends a thrill through him like no other when he catches you, and you stare at him teary-eyed and out of breath.
You're always so scared that he'll hurt you, but he would never do such a thing. He treats you like you're royalty, spoiling you with a seemingly endless amount of gifts. You're not quite sure how he knows what you like, and you're too hesitant to ask.
Honestly... he'd probably let you stab him. Y'know, he stabbed you, so it's only fair that you get to stab him in turn, right?
You think not. You're very hesitant, staring at him as though he were insane for even proposing such an idea. A part of him was disappointed. He wanted one of the many scars on his body to be from you. But a much larger part can't help but go soft at the sight of you shaking your head, sternly refusing to hurt him.
If he wasn't obsessed with you before, he certainly was now. You're too good. Too kind. He's holding you captive (lovingly, of course) and you refuse to hurt him? You don't even want to pinch him? How adorable.
Why, if he didn't know any better, he'd think that you might care about him.
He was nothing if not stubborn, of course. You might not care about him now, but you will in the future. He'll make sure of it.
After all, he's spent his whole life waiting for you.
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AYATO — never had the time to think of his soulmate. He was blessed (or cursed, depending on who you ask) with the ability to see the red strings that tied people together. When he was younger, before having to take on the duties of the Kamisato name, he would always stare at the one tied to his pinkie.
He even has the habit of twirling the red string around his finger whenever he gets stressed. Only behind closed doors, of course. It would probably appear strange to others if they saw.
Meeting his soulmate was something he had always planned out in his head as a child, and when he finally did meet you, it was so... simple. There was nothing magical about it, you had just bumped into him one day when he was out in the city and that's what started all of this.
For you, it was a forgettable encounter, one that would never cross your mind again. For him, it was everything he had been waiting for. Thoma thought it was a bit strange, but he dutifully gathered information about you when Ayato asked it of him. He needed to know everything there was to know about you.
He already knew what he was going to do when he met his soulmate, the only thing left was to actually do it. And you were definitely shocked when Kamisato Ayato himself showed up at your home and asked you to marry him.
You said no, obviously, because why the hell would you agree to marry someone you didn't know? Ayato had planned for this, of course. That's why he had Thoma learn everything about you, so the moment you declined his offer, he just smiled and made a comment about your family. It was very obvious what he was implying.
And even if you aren't close with your family, you can't live with blood on your hands. You were pretty much forced into accepting Ayato's marriage proposal. He was pleased with this outcome, promising to take care of everything himself.
Marrying him meant that you would, unfortunately, have to leave your home and instead live at the Kamisato Estate. Everyone was under the impression that this marriage was one of love and not coercion. You highly doubt that anyone would believe you if you told them the truth, and you were too concerned about what the consequences would be if you did.
Everyone at the estate was nice to you, at least, though the only people allowed to actually get close to you were Ayaka and Thoma.
And when the wedding was over, it was time for your honeymoon. You were not excited about that, but it seemed Celestia itself was on your side during that time because he was too busy to spend time with you.
If he wasn't threatening the lives of your family, you would have made numerous escape attempts by now. Still, you've made it very clear that you hate his guts.
Your hatred is something he detests, though he can't fault you for it. He understands that what he's forced you into is wrong, but in his mind, it was something that had to be done. He's sure that given enough time and space, you'll grow to understand why he did what he did.
And even though you scorn his existence, Ayato looks at you as if you've placed the stars in the sky.
Your strings are forever tied together, so there's no getting out of this. He doesn't plan on ever letting you go. He'd be a terrible husband if he didn't keep you close, wouldn't he?
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ddarker-dreams · 10 months
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do you have any hcs of what the yan genshin boys would b like when darlings on her period?
i'm gonna rank them from best to worst when it comes to dealing with this . let's see how they do.
best
zhongli is on top of his game. it's like he was born for the sole purpose of pampering you when you're under the weather. he'll insist on you taking it easy, drinking soothing teas, eating nutritious meals, and taking medication for whichever symptoms are the most prominent. if he seems oddly content, it's because he is. he won't state it outright, but he wants to leave the impression that him being in the position to care for you like this is worth the sacrifice of some... freedom. he knows of herbs and remedies to help make the experience as painless as possible.
kazuha already dotes on you as if you were royalty. while he leads a rather transient lifestyle, he puts your travels on pause to ensure you're properly cared for. he's sweet to a degree that'd be condescending from anyone else, but because it's kazuha and it's completely genuine, you can't call him out on it. he'll lay your head down on his lap and softly recite poetry until you doze off. he might not know much about periods specifically, but he treats it as if you were injured and need to be nursed back to health. he makes you your favorite meals from ingredients foraged locally. considers it a privilege on his part to be able to care for you. warmth blossoms in his chest whenever you have no choice but to ask him for something, your pride temporarily discarded.
albedo knows when your period is about to start before it even crosses your mind. he calculates every phase of your cycle and writes the important dates down in a calendar. he's all about preemptive care, he'll give you some concoctions of his own making the night before your period is due to start so you don't even have to worry about cramp pain. if you've been particularly troublesome lately, he might withhold this miracle elixir until you butter him up. he doesn't come outright and tell you this either, you have to do some trial and error to discern the specifics. as an alchemist, anything to do with the functions necessary to create life greatly fascinate him.
childe has sisters, so he's roughly familiar with how unpleasant periods are. he'll grin and reassure you that a little blood has never frightened him. thinks you're the cutest thing ever when you have to rely on him more. he's happy to oblige and is surprisingly intuitive about requests you never state verbally. he makes the tastiest soups, the kind that warm you from head to toe with every bite. there's no use trying to pretend you don't like it because he knows. he calms down on his tendency to tease you, since in his view, it's never his intent to actively make you feel distraught (unless you've acted out in a way that puts you in danger).
cyno means well (probably) but can come off as a little overbearing. he's literally breathing down your neck and constantly reminding you that if you need anything, just say the word. he's carrying you around, bringing you meals in bed, running all over town to get that one snack he knows you love; he's nothing if not dedicated. the thought of you being uncomfortable, much less in pain, is unbearable. when you do fall asleep, he's peeking into the room every five or ten minutes. every time you get your period, should any blood get on the sheets, he'll look you dead in the eye and ask if you've gotten in a fight lately. when you don't laugh, he starts explaining the joke, so it's better to force a chuckle.
diluc is just awkward about it. he refers to it as 'your time of the month' but even choking those words out is a struggle. he considers it to be a very private occurrence and thinks it'd be polite to tiptoe around the subject, as if it were taboo. the staff at dawn winery make further accommodations for you — everything you could ever want is a ring away. he's normally skeptical about you going outside, but since you're under the weather, he'll grant your request. if you're observant, you'll notice he's more inclined to give into your whims during this time. just don't get too carried away or he'll say he knows what you're doing at pointblank.
scaramouche is mostly annoyed that you're going to be more cranky for a while. your attention is essentially his lifeblood, but when you don't feel well, you're focusing on that instead of him. kind of inconsiderate tbh. once asked dottore if there's a way to prevent this, but dropped the idea when the harbinger said 'it only requires a few organs to be removed.' scaramouche would prefer your organs remain as is. he'll sigh and huff about how lucky you are to have him while spoon-feeding you, despite the fact he secretly enjoys it. his words are a whopping 10% nicer until you start to feel better, something he is frequently reminding you of. when your period is finished, he keeps staring in your general direction, fully expecting you to trip over yourself to thank him for his benevolence. if being delusional is a game, then he's winning.
when it comes to xiao, he's not awful per se, but this is likely his first encounter with menstruation, so you have to explain everything about it. he gets a bit freaked out the first time you wake up to bloody sheets, although you wouldn't be able to tell unless you closely observe his body language. he's somewhat at a loss when you explain what you need during your period and probably doesn't grab all the right things. he makes you eat these awfully bitter herbs that are supposed to help with pain. also makes some watery tea but gives you such a hopeful look, you don't have the heart to complain about the taste.
worst
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after-witch · 7 months
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Horrorfest: Unfurled Splendor [Yandere Xiao x Reader]
Title: Unfurled Splendor [Yandere Xiao x Reader]
Synopsis: You know daylight existed, once. You just can't remember what it really looked like.
For 2022 Horrorfest request: always night trope with xiao
Word count: 1270
notes: yandere, kidnapped reader, isolation
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There are certain things that you must tell yourself on repeat or you’re certain that you’ll forget them. They keep you tethered to the ground, sometimes by a thread, so that you don’t simply give up and float away. 
One, you were not always here, in this little house created inside Xiao’s abode. “House” being a lofty term for a space with two rooms, a simple bathroom and open living space. 
You used to live outside, and not the artificial outside that he created at your behest (and begging) but the real outside. With unpredictable weather and animals that did not behave on loops, only capable of repeating what gestures and patterns Xiao had created for you. 
There were other people, people who were mean or nice or somewhere in between. You worked at a job and went to shops and had friends and family. 
And there was freedom, most importantly of all. An elusive creature, now. It’s not something Xiao can create and set onto a carefully tracked loop, though you’re certain that if he could come up with a way to do so, that he would try his best. 
And two--this one is easiest to forget--it was not always night. There had been sunshine, once. Warm, lovely sunshine that dappled through the trees when you walked in the woods; that bore down on you, a hot blanket, in the summertime; that shone through your windows, waking you in the morning with the delighted chirping of the birds.
Yes, you had seen the sun… but that was a long time ago. Before Xiao took you here. Before you had gone nearly mad with being stuck inside all day, and he’d offered up the solution of letting you go “outside,” which turned out to be yet another artificial world of his own creation.
Before he’d decided to make it night time and never bothered bringing back the sun. That was… weeks ago, at least. You don’t know why or when he stopped bothering with daylight. Maybe it was too taxing on him to go back and forth between night and day. Maybe he just didn’t care. 
You do not ask him for the daylight again, because you should not need to ask. Yet that is what your life has become, reminding Xiao of all the things humans need to stay healthy and sane. Like a variety of food and not the same thing day after day; like blankets and pillows; like a bathroom with a  properly fitted tub and toilet. Like books or clothes or things to do. 
Not that he always gives you what you need. He considers most of these things “wants,” to be meted out at his own discretion.  
Sunlight, apparently, fit within that category of “want.” And no matter how often you stared up at the same night sky, wishing for it to fade or at least change, he didn’t seem to pick up on things.
It’s here that he finds you, again, staring at the night sky. Only this time your thoughts have grown so sour and introspective that there are tears in your eyes, sparkling in the cool moonlight that always shines into the window a little bit, dappled through a large, leafy tree.
If the tree were real, there might be any number of nocturnal animals that call it home. As it is, there is only a stationary night-bird that calls out exactly twice an hour. Mechanical. Like a clock. You thought it pretty once, but now you hate it.
There’s a touch on your shoulder and you flinch. Xiao draws back, and says your name. Evidently, he’d said it before.
You turn, just a little, and let him see your tears. Why not? It’s not like he ever responds to them, except perhaps to excuse himself or awkwardly shove a handkerchief into your hands. 
This time, he actually speaks up, although you can see the tension in his stiff posture.
“Why are you crying? What’s wrong?”
There might have been a time where you would have turned away from him, now, and went back to crying silently. Let him worry. Let him figure it out himself, if he could. But something about tonight--tonight? it’s always night, damn it--has you increasingly wound up. Your fingers curl on the windowsill. Your chest aches.
And so you whirl on him, chest heaving. 
“What’s wrong is that it’s been night for weeks and it’s driving me mad and you don’t seem to care.” Your voice cracks on the last word, spiteful tears sliding down your cheeks. 
 He stares at you for a few long moments before looking out the window at the sky he created. And then he looks back at you with such a confused expression that it makes you want to slap him and bring him into your arms, one and the same. 
“You… said you liked the stars,” he says, eyebrows furrowing. You can tell he doesn’t understand. He treats your complaints like that of a child, demanding something nonsensical in the middle of the day, perhaps due to a lack of nap. “So I’ve kept them there.”
You turn and gaze out the window at the same night sky that you’ve seen for weeks on end. You could explain that humans need daylight and sunlight. You could explain that seeing the same night sky for an extended period of time is enough to drive anyone mad.
Instead--
“Those aren’t stars,” you reply, quiet. 
Behind you, Xiao huffs. 
“Yes, they are. They look just like the ones--”
You turn on him, and your face begins to crack, eyes crinkling, mouth turning down. “They aren’t real stars. I want real stars. I want real sunshine. I want everything to be real. Can’t you understand that?”
Xiao’s eyes widen, and the look on his face takes on an expression of slight hurt. Just enough to notice. He raises one of his hands toward your cheek, moving to touch you.
“I… understand,” he says, finally. Slowly. Weighing your words and his own. You’re afraid to do the same, afraid to see you through his own eyes. 
So you shake your head, blinking away the tears, and crawl into bed. Maybe in your dreams something will be different for once, but more often than not, the night sky leaked into your dreams, too. 
You hear the sound of Xiao sitting down in the chair by the window as your brain begins to drift into the fogginess of sleep. 
When you wake up, sunshine filters through the sole window inside the house. Birds chirp in a pattern that you know will loop, eventually. It’s startling, jarring. Your brain doesn’t make sense of it at first. 
You slowly get out of bed, afraid that it might be a dream. You set aside the blanket, you stand up, you take a few steps to the window--and still, the scene outside is blissful, sweet daytime. 
Your fingers rest on the windowsill, soaking in the scene he’s created before you. The sound of birds--a few you can spot, but you hate to look at them, knowing that you’ll recognize their pattern soon enough. A mechanical breeze that comes every so often (you don’t count the seconds between them, not yet); clouds, lazily drifting by in the blue sky, and all of it lit by an artificially bright sun stuck up high. 
It’s not real. It will never be real. Only you are real, here, the only normal, human, mortal thing that will ever exist on this plane. 
Behind the clouds, you can see the remnants of those artificial stars, still twinkling. 
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harmonysanreads · 1 year
Note
hi! if this interests you in any way, yan xiao and yan scara with s/o who's naturally kind to everyone, not only them? would they want to hoard their s/o's sunshine to themselves only, would they go through unholy lengths to keep them away from others so they're kind only to them? kind of :)
Hiii! I think we all can agree that these two would adore a kind s/o, in fact, your kindness will accelerate their yandere tendencies. Xiao and Scaramouche are similar yet vastly different in their approach and intentions to such a situation.
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Scaramouche would 100% hoard your kindness, monopolizing it thereafter. His methodology merely varies depending on the most prominent periods of his existence.
Kabukimono, who's an infant to every little wonder of this world, takes just a little while to grasp the warmth of your glow. When he does, he understands its necessity to him by comparing it to the air that humans so desperately need to survive. Kabukimono tries to give you the benefit of the doubt for a while, too, but much like a child, he'll quickly become pouty when he sees you showering others in the same kindness. What, was it wrong for him to think himself a little special? He'll probably just follow you around like a duckling (not that he already doesn't everyday) and stare blankly at the person til they get uncomfortable and leave. Should you raise a brow at him—ah no, you can't. After all, he's just an innocent puppet who can barely comb his own hair, he's still new to all this. So, you have no other choice but to take the liberty of teaching him, digging your own grave.
Kunikuzushi is far more expressive and desperate, this is where his protective nature starts to dominate. The world is cruel and ugly, the humans you're so carelessly allowing to take advantage of you? They'll all crush you, extinguish your light. He cannot allow those vermins to greedily take all your attention. Kunikuzushi is also reckless, you try to understand him even when its apparent something is terribly wrong with him but does it affect anything? Yes, it merely strengthens his belief that you should be protected from the filth of the world.
The Balladeer, oh, is he smitten (all his incarnations are but that's besides the point). But unlike his younger selves he has all the means and an equally uncaring mindset for others necessary to actually take action. When he's certain that your kindness isn't just a fad, he's not allowing anyone else to bask in its glow. He's the most unhesitant to do so and you have no choice but to follow along his whims, burdened by your own kindness that deters you from even blaming him.
For Wanderer, it'd take more time than Kabukimono to develop that sort of jealously. Having just recovered his past memories, he's a little overwhelmed, if not confused with his next course of action. At the same time, he's trying to be better. So, letting another person have that kind of grasp on him again will result in prolonged inner debates. He appreciates your kindness albeit, he can't help but wonder if you would still smile at him the same had you known of his past crimes. The anemo vision might've become Wanderer's heart but he still lacks a will to live and if you were to become that will? It's not a stretch to say he wouldn't try to keep all your attention on him and boy does he succeed. All those centuries of trial and error has taught him much and it's finally time to put that experience to good use.
Xiao on the other hand takes much, much more time, not.. necessarily or soley to develop that envy but the awareness of what on Teyvat he's actually doing. The intricacies of human emotions fly over Xiao's head, the only thing he cares to understand is that he likes it when you go out of your way to nurse his wounds despite his protests and pushes, when you greet him and ask how his day went (to which he always answers the same) or as you routinely bring him almond tofu despite his insistence that you needn't do so every single day. He isn't exactly surprised when he sees you treating others similarly, he might even consider himself the lucky one for having the blessing of your warmth. The only instance I see him, technically, hoarding your benevolence is if the people around you meant you harm. Xiao would then simply dispose of them but when that doesn't work anymore? Although it might take immense amount of contemplation and an equally strong push, until Xiao has no choice but to arrange his Adepti realm for a proper stay.
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i-love-scarameowche · 7 months
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(This is in response to an ask but I accidentally deleted it, so, whoever that was, here it is!<3)
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You won't leave me.
Content Warning ⛈️: Suicide, attempted suicide, mentions of making reader limbless, kidnapping, nonconsensual nonsexual touching and kissing, suggestive thoughts and thoughts of r4pe! Reader uses she/her pronouns. Ft. Yandere Xiao, Scaramouche, Venti and Kazuha x reader!
So, just dark content! If you don't like it or can't handle it, please, just leave. If that sounds rude I apologize but don't read something you might not be able to handle! ♡
Summary🔎: They're finally leaving you alone for a little while, maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to escape?
Part 1
I don't condone these actions. If you are having thoughts about taking advantage of someone, do not do it and get help.
If you have thoughts about hurting yourself or commiting suicide, know that you aren't alone and please try to reach out for help.
Words: 1k!
Estimated read time: 5 minutes!
You hate it here. You can't even cry, when you do, you get coddled or yelled at. You haven't been left alone for a year. Showers, going to the bathroom, sleeping, eating, everything! You don't want to feel anymore. Everything hurts. You're so tired of it all. But, finally, you have some alone time. "I will miss you, Dove, but I don't have a choice! Xiao will be back quickly, alright? So you won't be alone!" Venti coos as he holds your cheek. When they leave, and come back, they always hold onto you so much. It's so horrible. You miss your friends.. You know not all of them are still alive. Some of them have even been killed right in front of you as a punishment for acting out! Just a little protest!
You nod in response to Venti, forcing back the tears that threaten to spill except, for the first time in a long time, they're tears of joy. You quickly snap out of it, though. "Oh, poor Dove! Don't cry my love," Venti says, reaching to cup your cheek. You didn't even realize you were crying. But you play along with Venti, you have to, or there's a chance he won't leave. "I'll just miss you so much!" You say, internally cringing as you force yourself to hug Venti. You make yourself cry harder, thinking of everyone you've ever cared about dead. It works. "Don't worry, my love, I'll be back soon enough!" Venti coos, as a grin breaks out on his youthful face. You know he doesn't really believe you. Venti pats and rubs your back, kissing your forehead before lifting your face up to his, pressing his lips to yours. Kissing you.
You want to scream, to tell him to stop, to leave you alone! But you just comply, kissing Venti back as you cry a little more. The kiss is vulnerable, soft, in Venti's mind at least. To you, it's invasive, predatory, disgusting. You hate it. You hate him. Venti breaks the kiss. "Buh bye my love! Don't do anything stupid, alright?" Venti smiles, petting your hair. You nod, looking at him as he kisses your cheek and walks out of the door, unlocking the many locks before leaving the house and relocking all of them. You're sure there are more locks outside. You breathe out a sigh of relief and joy, a grin breaking out on your face, one that you were holding back before.
You laugh to yourself, you probably look so stupid, don't you? You wipe your tears. They've proofed the house so you can't hurt yourself without it being painful, and they know knew that you couldn't do that, you're you were scared of pain. So it's picture frames after picture frames of them and you, no knives or sharp objects, no weapons, plastic baby utensils, baby cups, etc. It's so dehumanizing. But, not anymore.
You break everything you can in the house. One last picture frame stares at you. It's a picture of you, Xiao, Kazuha, Venti and Scaramouche. Although Scaramouche and Xiao didn't really want to be in the picturenot rlly w Xiao. You rip it off of the wall, throwing it against the ground like you've done all the others. Yeah, maybe that's wasted time. But you wanna get back at them. At least a little.
Route 1
(I have never attempted to hurt myself in such extreme, so forgive me if I don't write it correctly)
You pick up a shard of broken glass, you tightly grip the glass, causing yourself to bleed as the glass cuts into your palm. You wince. You press the glass to your wrist. But, you hesitate. You don't want it to hurt. But this is the only way to escape. But you don't want to die. You press the glass against your wrist, cutting into it. You wince, tears start to stream down your face again. It hurts. You take the glass from your wrist and wince as the cold air reaches the wound on your wrist. You move the glass down, cutting into it again, this time, lower. You continue to cut, until you feel dizzy from blood loss. You pass out.
You...
☆ bled out! ☆
Route 2
You pick up a shard of broken glass, you tightly grip the glass, causing yourself to bleed as the glass cuts into your palm. You wince. You press the glass to your wrist. But, you hesitate. You don't want it to hurt. But this is the only way to escape. But you don't want to die. You press the glass against your wrist, cutting into it. You wince, tears start to stream down your face again. It hurts.
Suddenly, the door is broken open. It's Xiao. "What is it you think you're doing!?" Xiao yells, quickly at your side and puting pressure on your wrist wound. He flings the shard of glass out of your hand, it shatters on impact against the wall. You struggle to get away from Xiao, trying to move back as you sob. "No! Stop! Let go of me!" You yell, but Xiao grabs you by the back of your neck, stepping over the shattered glass and various other objects, and he brings you to the bathroom.
Xiao starts to bandage and patch up your wrist. You didn't cut too deep, you were scared after all. Xiao softens. "Come on." Xiao grunts, lifting you up and bringing you to the bedroom as you sob and plead. Normally, the ones with the worst punishments are Venti or Scaramouche, and sometimes Xiao. So that's what you assume is going to happen. "Shut up. I'm not going to hurt you." Xiao says, laying you down on the bed and laying beside you. He hugs you close to him. He's glad he got here before you did anything more. But he's angry. Angry that you tried to leave him.
Maybe he'll cut off your arms or legs so you can't run or do anything without him. Just a compliant little bird. He would feed you, bathe you, have you drink things, have you be absolutely unable to do anything as he slots himself in between your thighs(that's where your legs would end, just above your knees), sinking himself inside of you inch by inch-
"Xiao..?" You tiredly whisper, snapping himself out of his thoughts. "Yes?" Xiao says, sharply. "I-I'm sorry..." You murmur, barely awake. Xiao curtly nods in response. Xiao feels you cry as you start to fall asleep. It's been a few minutes, probably around ten or twenty. Huh. Guess he just lost track of time.
You fall asleep. When you wake, Scaramouche is yelling at Venti. "Why did you leave her alone!? You stupid archon!" Scaramouche yells, glaring at Venti. "Says the puppet." Venti snaps, glaring back. Kazuha is cooing to you, realizing you've woken. You're laying in-between his legs, your back against his stomach.
You...
☆ Survived without a punishment! ☆
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yourheart-inmyhands · 5 months
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Hii, just call me Skull anon. I've been very curious about how different yanderes would do so I'm asking for a request.
How would Xiao, Albedo, and Wriothesley deal with a Drug addict reader who was already in an unstable state, struggling to survive with rent and had bad trauma? The trauma could be anything you'd like.
Of course, you can deny this request if it makes you uncomfortable. No pressure or anything.
so i was a little hesitant to do this because I wasn't sure how well I could properly portray this, but going sort of off my own experience with certain things and trying to remain calm i wrote this. i can't really explain what compelled me to, but i do hope you enjoy this and please, read the warnings for this one :] <3
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Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including delusional behaviors, implied being held against will, manipulation tactics, mentions of substance abuse and recovery from it, obsessive behaviors, and other potential topics. Please Read At Your Own Risk!
Yandere!Xiao would be concerned internally but look indifferent externally. He’s conflicted, because he knows you’re struggling and that humans are a lot weaker, that you need help, but he doesn’t know how to help, he’s never had to be in this position before. He consults many people, fellow adepti, Zhongli, even the Traveler, none of whom he gives the full picture to but instead dances around the main ideas and works off vague descriptions.
Xiao’s first step in helping you was moving you in to the Wangshu Inn with him, where he could watch over you better. He has a reserved room there, though he never really uses it. Sleep is beyond his needs so he rarely rests, but you need rest so he allows you to have the room. This comes with him barging in on you whenever he sees fit though, day to night at any moment he could pop in without you even knowing. He had a strange way of doing that, a lot. He isn’t sure how to help with trauma or substance abuse, those aren’t the evils he usually fights, but he knows people he can ask about that. Xiao didn’t like admitting that he didn’t know what to do, but grumbling and giving Baizhu some vague descriptions of the situation helped him get a better idea of what to do. Xiao decides to take the soft approach of slowly weening you off the awful stuff, not wanting you to be left with more problems from quitting cold turkey. It’s a long road and Xiao was sorta kinda prepared to help you through it. He likes having you this close though, this dependent on him and his help.
Yandere!Albedo struggles with his feelings. His lack of humanity means he really only experiences feelings that are typically in abundance, meaning he doesn’t feel unless the feeling is so strong it cannot be ignored. His research is all he really knows so he takes the opportunity to offer ‘assistance.’ In exchange for staying with him and allowing him to study your responses and reactions, he would help you with your addiction.
It seemed like a good deal at first, Albedo would provide adequate housing, a quaint apartment in the heart of Mondstat, in exchange for being allowed to study you as he helped you over your drug problem. It would kill two birds with one stone no? What he didn’t tell you though was that he planned to have you quit cold turkey, wanting to watch how your body would respond to the sudden withdrawals. Of course, if anything started to border on the edge of life-threatening, he’d take preventative measures to ensure you lived, but otherwise, you were not permitted to leave or take any addictive substances. Albedo oversees all your care, meaning that for the entire recovery process, you are confined to a bedroom with him hovering over you, notepad and pencil in hand and large, unblinking eyes boring holes into you. It was unsettling, and even when you were on the upswing, finally getting to where the grass was greener, he still refused to allow you out or allow others in, saying that it could compromise the research. In reality, he just didn’t want anyone else near you, he had loved having you all to himself and didn’t want to share you ever again.
Yandere!Wriothesley is surprisingly educated on what to do. Not only had a few people in similar conditions come through the prison, but it was his job to make sure that he knew everything about everyone who passed into this place. With the help of some staff at the Fortress of Meropide, he moves you into a room in the staff wing, assigning you a set of personalized staff to help with your addictions. There were only two conditions, he would check in on you every day to ensure you were sticking to your recovery and that when you were finally okay, you would work as his assistant to pay off your debt. 
Wriothesley wasn’t worried about the money that was put towards your recovery, it was nothing to someone with the title of Duke. He was more concerned with you being alive than momentary pleasures like wealth, but he used the excuse of you needing to pay him back to keep you around longer. He checks in with you every day, typically around dinner time, he’ll take a break to eat with you and talk about your day, building a relationship and establishing a connection, but sometimes he takes short breaks to check in on you. Wriothesley also speaks with the assigned group of nurses and staff that were there specifically for you every day, getting word from them on your progress and how things are looking. He enjoys seeing you slowly getting better day by day, his hope for the future strong as he dreams of the day you become officially his. He had no intention of ever letting you leave the Fortress of Meropide, at least not without him, arm wrapped protectively around you as he escorts you around, as a partner should.
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yanderehsr · 8 months
Note
heyyy!! i saw the venti and aether break up and i was wondering if you could also do it with xiao? hehe😅
Trying a speedrun to traumatise Xiao now are we😅
Trigger Warning: Yandere, Obsessive behaviour, Possessive behaviour, Kidnapping
Xiao looks at you in shock, he opened up his heart to you, allowed you to be near him and to hold him, he got addicted to your touch and now you wanna leave him? He tries to hold back tears but a few still slip past, he wipes them away, he can't be seen showing such mortal feelings.
Xiao doesn't snap out of it until he sees you turn around to leave, his eyes widen. Don't leave him, he doesn't think he could continue on without you, the burden of his karma feels so much lighter with you around.
Isn't it okay for him to be selfish for once, Xiao thinks this when he closes the door before you leave, he thinks this as he tells you that you can't ever leave him and he thinks this when he hugs your trembling body, even when he hugs you out of desperation like this he is gentle, afraid of hurting you.
Xiao is an adeptus, he can probably get an adeptal realm, a place where he can keep you safe and with him, he doesn't care if you don't love him for he will love you enough for both of you.
"Don't presume that you can ever leave me, by being with me you have allowed yourself to be mine, and I won't let go"
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mmk-art · 11 months
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Yandere bully 5wirl AU! x you
Yandere/dark content ahead - minors, sensitive people//people who just dont like this type of content DNI!
Warnings: General yandere behavior, NSFW, mention of cum, manipulation, bullying, college student x teacher relationship, Gn! reader/yn (AFAB). And I think that is.
So, lets start with this AU! Remember that english is not my first language, dont be harsh please. TuT
Bullying is something common in highschool, and not so common in college, but still the possibility is there, sadly. And that's exactly what happened to you.
You were so happy because finally you get a job as a teacher in Teyvat's college! But now that you have been working there for a while, you realized that anything is color pink... And less when you have five obssesives men following you around wherever you go, trying to catch your attention with the most dirty, mischievous and naughty tricks.
General information and desings of the boys (they are not intended to be on character).
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Kazuha: 22 y.o - He is a charming and calm boy that hardly look like a bully, but he is. He rarely take the initiative (he sometimes do it, but is VERY rare.) but he always will follow their friends to whatever plan they have think now, mostly he is carried away by Venti, who is always thinking in new "games" to play with you.
He likes to give you a lot of gifts: a poem, a scarf that he himself have knit, a baked roll with cream that Venti helped him cook and have a weird flavour for some reason...
He is a gentleman, sometimes.
Xiao: 22 y.o - Harsh and rough, a man of few words that prefer just to act. He loves be dominant, so seeing you, with a pair of handcuffs while you are force to keep correcting their exams like that because they told you to, makes he feel a great pleasure running through his body.
Sometimes he can confused you. While you are correcting the exams, if you look up you can see Xiao looking at you like if he were deeply in love with you - probably he is - and even offer you help to correct them. But if you try to rest a little because your wrists hurts, he will tell you to keep working with the most demanding tone he can put and calling you lazy.
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Venti: 22 y.o - Tecnically, there isn't a leader in this group of friends, but something that we can say for sure is that Venti always start the things. He looked so adorable and like if he couldn't hurt a fly at first. But now that you saw his real side, you know that he is actually very manipulative and sadist.
He like to play "games" with you, his favorite is hide and seek because he love the sensation of hunting you, and he loves to think that you are hidding somewhere wishing that he or any of the boys don't find you. But they will, because Venti is a little bastard that always make games that are impossible for you to win, and sometimes they are just obviously unfair.
"Come on! We are going to play hide and seek." "Huh? That your home is too small and theres not place to hide? Not my problem!"
"Let's play a game! You have to hold your breath for five minutes!"
And if you lost, they have the right to do whatever.they.want.with.you.
Heizou: 21 y.o - He don't have a point in between, he is very talkative or very quiet. He always is making jokes and telling stories that anyone really care in class, and he just do it to interrupt your lesson. And it works, and the best part for them, is that now they have your full attention again, good job, Heizou!
Surprisingly, he is very caring to you, when they all are satisfied and their cum is dripping down your legs, Heizou will be the first one on approach your exhausted body, give you a bath and carry you to bed. <3
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Scaramouche: 22 y.o - The king of degradation. At least Venti can be kind to you - in his own way - when it come to sadism, and he will even be gentle from time to time - only in the start - but Scaramouche... Scaramouche don't have any mercy for you, if he is the first one getting you, he will start rough and fast without even preparing your body. That's why the other boys - Venti - never let him get you first.
He commonly insult random students during class just to catch your attention, because he knows that by protocole, you have to call out him yes or YES. And he dont like when you scold him, so after class, or you prepare yourself to be punished, or you think in something that could calm them down.
Teacher//you: age - (your choice). Its not weird to see you with a lot of lovebites and bruises. The boys have find out where you live, and now they spend more time in your house than in theirs, drying your fridge - and your wallet - always demanding food and alcohol.
If you think that you should go to the principal to tell her about your problem... Well, you already did, and the answer was very unpleasant for you.
"I will talk to them, but don't expect that something will change. I'm not new in this business, and I know how boys are. If anything, they will try to touch you more in secret".
And you feel your heart sinking in that moment. Finally you decide to tell to the principal that thank you, but no. You prefer if she don't talk to them because they will get angry and probably punish you, this time, harder.
The worst? That now you can't quit your work, because as I say, they know where you live and even if you quit, they will keep following you and doing whatever they want, just with the little diference that now you can't even pay your bills.
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unearthly-doting · 5 months
Text
the wind will guide you home
a/n: idk idk i just really like the anemo characters soso much. kept it pretty vague i think so you can decide if the reader is willing or unwilling. no faruzan or lynette bc i couldn't think of anything for them :(
includes: aether, lumine, venti, jean, xiao, kazuha, sucrose, heizou, and wanderer.
premise: you wandered a little too far away from your partner for their liking. maybe you were trying to escape, maybe not. but don't worry, they'll find you.
warnings: mdni, yandere content, gn reader, implied/referenced kidnapping, overprotective behavior, possessive behavior, obsessive behavior, implied drugging, stalking, unhealthy relationships, vague mentions of dependency, uh whatever the fuck is happening in wanderer's section.
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AETHER — is immediately panicked the moment he realizes you aren't by his side anymore. he never lets you travel with him, it was dangerous and you were safer tucked away in the little area he kept you in, safe from the dangers of this mysterious world. it was his fault, really. he had forgotten to lock the door the last time he visited, having been in such a hurry for one reason or another. you, for some reason, had decided to leave even though he had told you time and time again that it was dangerous. he wouldn't waste any time looking for you, hurrying outside, and using everything he had to his advantage to search for you. if you have a vision, he's definitely using his elemental sight to track you down. and when he does find you, he's immediately latching himself onto you, clinging to you and breathing a sigh of relief. he was completely oblivious to the horrified look on your face, just glad to have you in his arms again. "let's get you home. it's not safe for you out here."
LUMINE — would more than likely notice immediately when you vanish. she keeps you at her side at all times to ensure that she can protect you, so you're rarely ever away from her. the moment she sees that you're gone, she's abandoning whatever it was she was doing to find you. it doesn't matter if it was a commission or some important task that will help her get a better understanding of this world. you were more important than that right now. you needed to be back by her side. her tracking skills were incredibly good, so you wouldn't get far before she had you in her sights again. it doesn't matter if you were trying to escape or if you were just distracted and wandered off, the grip she had on your wrist was tight once she caught up to you, and she refused to let you go until the two of you were back at whatever inn or camp you two were staying at. she'll bind your hands together and tie the end of the rope to her wrist if you try arguing with her. "i can't keep you safe if you refuse to stay by my side."
VENTI — is honestly the only one here that will find you like almost immediately. even if he isn't paying attention to you and instead wowing a crowd with his amazing bard skills, the wind will tell him the moment you're gone. he'll stop midstory at the news, politely excusing himself and promising to be back later with an even better story. he'll let the wind guide him, listening to the whispers as he hurries down the streets of mondstadt, picking up pace when the wind tells him you were heading for the main gate of the city. if he uses his powers as the anemo archon to cause a harsh gust of wind to knock everyone away from the gates of the city just so he can catch up with you, then... well... it's not like anyone will know it was him. other than you, of course. and the moment you recovered from hitting the ground, venti was at your side and helping you up. he let you keep your freedom, most of it at least, but he didn't want you to leave the city if he wasn't at your side. he doesn't let go of your hand as he drags you back, an upbeat smile on his face as he playfully spoke, "you're missing my performance! you know i can't perform without my biggest fan watching me." you miss the tightly concealed desperation in his eyes as he stared at you. you can't leave him. he won't let you.
JEAN — is so busy with work that she rarely has the time to keep track of every little move you make. honestly, she probably won't realize you're gone until kaeya or amber drop by and tell her that they saw you wandering outside the city, seemingly heading in the direction of liyue. she's immediately abandoning whatever paperwork she had been looking through, hurrying out of her office and rushing past the citizens in the city to get to you. her mind was running wild trying to figure out why you would even think about leaving the city, let alone leaving without telling her. she's almost out of breath by the time she finds you, the sun starting to set as she crashes into you in a tight hug while rapid-fire questioning you on why you were leaving mondstadt and if she did something wrong and what she could do to make it better. it isn't hard to calm her down, cutting off her questions and explaining that you were simply going to visit some family in liyue and that you had left a note for her at home because you didn't want to bother her when she was so busy. whether or not that was the truth, she didn't care. she was pulling you back in the direction of the city, shaking her head. "no, i can't focus on anything when you aren't here. i need you."
XIAO — felt a little hurt, finding you gone. he was one of the hardest to get away from, always at your side unless the traveler called him away or something happened that required his attention. he thought you had gotten used to him by now, seeing as you never shied away from him when he was around anymore. so yeah, he was real fucking hurt when he returned to the inn and found your room empty. not even verr knew where you had gone. he isn't the type to immediately panic, but he is tense and will gradually get more agitated the longer it takes to find you. if he finds you quickly, the most you'll get is a cold glare as he drags you back to the inn. if he finds you after searching for hours upon hours, he will cling to you as if you would disappear if he let go. his breathing would be heavy, his face buried in your neck as he grounds himself. you were back in his arms, and either way, he wasn't going to let you leave his sight until he was sure you weren't going to pull a stunt like this again. if you want to wander around, then just ask and he'll go with you. "don't ever do that again. don't... don't ever leave me like that."
KAZUHA — would feel torn. while he understands the need and desire to roam the world and take in all that one can process, he also felt uncomfortable when you weren't around. a sick feeling budding in his chest, wondering if maybe you weren't wandering off but instead trying to leave him. he wants to trust you, and most of the time he does, but... you've tried leaving him before. many times, actually, that he's lost count. so, as much as he would love to leave you to your own devices, he just didn't trust you enough. he would ask other travelers if they'd seen you by chance, and some would point him in your direction while others would shake their heads. no matter, he took any and all help given to him until he finally spotted you. his approach was quiet, and you were startled when you had finally noticed him. he didn't say anything for a moment, just staring at you. there was something about his gaze that felt more intense than normal. it was like he was studying you, deciphering your actions. it didn't last long, because the look was replaced with a soft smile as he held his hand out, beckoning you to take it. "let's walk together."
SUCROSE — also didn't immediately notice. similar to jean, she can get pretty busy with work and gets so invested that she'll often times forget her surroundings. it's only when albedo or noelle make a comment on you not being by her side that she snaps to attention, looking around with a puzzled expression. when had you left? how long had you been gone? when she had last spoken to you, the sun was high in the sky. it was dark now. she would stutter out a quick departure to whichever friend had told her you were gone before scurrying away to try and find you. she would have the hardest time finding you, nervously approaching strangers on the street and asking if they had seen you or not. one person mentioned seeing you at the barbatos statue, and she immediately darted off in that direction without sparing the informant a second glance. and she was damn near tears when she found you. she wouldn't understand why you had left without telling her first, wondering if maybe she had done something to upset you. she'd be apologizing, telling you she was sorry if she made you mad, and begging you to come home. given how you two were in public, you felt a bit out of place so you agreed just to stop having people look at you. she would hug your arm the entire time, refusing to let go until the two of you were back at her home. and then she'd offer you something to drink! as an apology! and, well... if she puts a little something in it to tire you out, then that's too bad. "o-oh, you feel sick? maybe you should try to rest... don't worry, i'll be here to take care of you."
HEIZOU — would be the second one to find you quickly. he's a detective, so obviously he'll be able to track you down with ease! your attempts at trying to cover were tracks were adorable but futile. he had found you probably a mere hour after you had gone off, though he didn't immediately make his presence known. he was curious as to why you had left so abruptly without telling him, wondering if maybe something had happened or if you were, perhaps, trying to leave him. but you wouldn't do that! right? either way, he's following you in secret. some may call this stalking, but he calls it... lovingly admiring from afar. this'll go on for hours, more than likely. he's not in any rush to drag you home, and he gets to partake in his favorite pastime! so, by all means, continue walking. he'll probably do a few things here and there to startle you, making noises by shaking bushes and branches or throwing rocks. he likes seeing you on edge; he thinks you're cute when you're constantly looking around, searching for him. of course, once you get too close to ritou for his liking, he'll bring the fun to an end and finally make his presence known by hugging you from behind, a cheeky smile on his expression as you tense up. "caught you!" he hums, pressing a kiss to the back of your neck as if to prove to you that he was actually there. maybe he'll lock you up at home for a few days just to keep you all to himself. y'know, as his prize for catching you.
WANDERER — thinks it's amusing, honestly, that you think you can sneak off without him noticing. he'll let you go off on your own and let you think you have the freedom of doing so, but only because he has other pressing matters to attend to. he'll take is time too, going about his tasks at a languid pace, not at all worried about where you may be or where you might go. some people may ask about your whereabouts since you're usually almost always with him, and he'll just offer them a smile that... well. it puts them on edge, to be honest, and it makes them drop the topic. he'll even occasionally take breaks, enjoying a drawn-out lunch with nahida and even deciding to indulge the traveler a bit and walk with them through the city. but the moment he finishes all of his tasks for the day, he's going after you. you've had enough freedom today, and he wants you back at his side. it's where you belong, after all. he won't lie, it's exciting, searching for you like this. he wonders if you know whether or not he's after you. maybe you've been looking over your shoulder the entire day, wondering if he'll be right behind you. the thought alone fills him with an almost gleeful joy. and when he does find you, he's not wasting a single second before grabbing you, lips twitching upwards slightly at the startled shout you let out. "did you have fun?" he'll ask, though it would be hard to tell if he wanted a serious answer or not. he doesn't really care, in all honesty. you're back in his arms, right where you belong. his prized possession.
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ddarker-dreams · 2 years
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Yan Genshin Boys / Sleeping Arrangements.
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Childe
Childe goes for the classic fake out, further proving that you’ll never catch a break. He’ll seemingly be out like a light, an arm loosely thrown over your waist, snoring softly into the pillow. You can even say his name a few times and he won’t budge. However, the second you start to wriggle out of his hold, it turns ironclad. The air is all but knocked out of your lungs from the strength behind his grip. He’ll then whisper in this husky, low voice, where do you think you’re going? So much for that. He occasionally makes jokes that he might need to buy some chains if you keep getting rowdy at night. At least, you think they’re jokes because he laughs at them, but you get a sense he might be serious. He favors resting his chin atop your head and holding you flush against his chest from that point onward. Good luck trying to get out of his hold, it’s not going to happen. 
Diluc
In true repressed Victorian ‘gentleman’ fashion, he doesn’t dare sleep in the same bed as you unless you specifically request it. Even then, he has his reservations. He was already struggling to maintain a veneer of propriety when you were clothed in layers from head to toe, now he’s got to stay strong when you’re wearing flimsy night clothes...? Of course, he’ll never reveal this as the reason behind his hesitation. Since you’re got him wrapped around your little finger, if you keep on insisting, he’ll give in eventually. Having him around is honestly not a bad idea in the winter, he radiates warmth. He’s so determined to stay on his side of the bed that you wonder if he thinks the world itself would end should he cross the invisible divide. You’ll very rarely wake up to him in the mornings since he’s such a busy man, but when you do, you’ll discover his hand had found yours sometime during the night. His face will turn the same shade as his hair when he learns of this. 
Kaeya
One might think the Calvary Captain runs low on energy when a day full of his schemes comes to its conclusion, but it’s quite the opposite. He thinks that this makes for a great time to catch up with you. He’ll slide under the covers and regale you with the shenanigans he’s witnessed lately. What’s annoying about it is that he’s such a naturally gifted storyteller, so you can’t help but get invested, no matter how hard you try to project apathy. You’ve learned more about the people of Mondstadt during his subjugation than you have living there for years. He’ll get to the juiciest part of a story and then leave you hanging unless you cuddle with him. If you have trouble sleeping, he’s unexpectedly good at soothing the issue, he’ll play with your hair and whisper in that deep voice of his until you’re out for the night. It’s probably the closest thing to tenderness without any ulterior motive that you’ll ever get from him. 
Zhongli
Zhongli’s more inclined to work around your preferences than the others, to an extent. He feels it’s advantageous for you to feel in charge when it comes to smaller details, so you’re more willing to overlook the control he has over the rest of your life. If you’re willing to sleep in the same bed as him, he makes no disruptive movements and prioritizes letting you rest up well for the day ahead. Sleep isn’t a must for Zhongli, yet to fully experience the life of a mortal, he gives it his best shot. There’s nothing he adores more than if you tend to talk or grumble in your sleep. While you’re conscious, there’s a filter in place that prevents you from saying anything regrettable; a feature not found when slumber reigns. He most definitely will try talking to you in a gentle whisper to coax out any secrets your lips would be otherwise sealed to. 
Albedo
Albedo is another who doesn’t really need sleep, but he enjoys all the bonding possibilities that come with sleeping side by side. He’s good at telling when you’re in REM and always asks you about your dreams the next morning, finding the information pivotal to better understanding you. He can’t help but think about how less lonely you make his otherwise secluded lifestyle. Most of his night consists of him pondering different matters relating to you, from what he should make for breakfast to envisioning your future. If he’s noticed you aren’t a light sleeper, he may feel bold enough to kiss your shoulder or clavicle since you can’t object. He’s able to gain a better understanding of your anatomy from the hours he spends committing your appearance to memory. It’s no wonder that his drawings of you are so lifelike down to the last detail — he can practically model you in his mind in anyway he sees fit. 
Xiao
You have to passionately plead your case to convince him to quote, ‘stop being weird’, end quote. If it weren’t for your interference, he’d see no issue with standing in the corner and staring at you all night. Xiao still doesn’t understand why you’re so huffy about his preference, but if it means giving you one less thing to complain about, then he guesses he can go along with it. Since adepti don’t really need sleep in the same way mortals do, he never thought he’d see the appeal in lying down and doing nothing for eight or so hours, but you’re starting to make him curious. You’ll be readjusting one night when you unexpectedly meet resistance akin to slamming into a brick wall. As it turns out, it’s Xiao’s chest, and he’s just been chilling there as if it was the most normal thing ever. Getting back to sleep after that scare is a tricky endeavor. He’ll quietly reassure that he isn’t doing anything depraved, which is almost stranger in a way. He really is just sitting there for hours and observing. It makes your skin crawl. 
Scaramouche
He actually sputtered in offense when you questioned what he was doing the first time his arms snaked around your waist. His grip was way too tight to be comfortable, for one, and his head was so close to your neck that his hair kept tickling the exposed skin. He grumbled about how ‘overdramatic’ you were despite the fact your lungs were actually crying out for air. This is what couples do, is it not? He’s mostly just embarrassed that his desperation for skin-to-skin contact came out so obvious. Proceeds to tone it down a touch by at least allowing your respiratory system to carry on uninhibited, generous lover that he is. Fortunately for you, he naturally relaxes his hold as the night progresses, and tends to curl into a fetal position. You can expect to hear gentle whimpers of your name that he violently denies should you ever bring it to his attention come morning. He’ll similarly combust on the spot if you refer to what he’s doing as ‘cuddling.’ No, this isn’t cuddling, it’s... being in close contact with another! Are you such a dullard that you can’t tell the difference? (He will die on this hill).
Kazuha
You grow increasingly convinced by the day that beneath his soft-spoken and gentle exterior, there lies a true mastermind. It’s suspicious how, despite his many survival skills, your campfire always seems to dwindle when the moon is high in the sky. How convenient is that? Then you have no choice but to snuggle up against him in your tent for warmth. You have no idea how he does it and he’ll innocently deny any accusations you send his way. Kazuha allows for some space between you if you demand it, but starts inching closer when he can tell you’ve fallen asleep by your breathing. No one can rival his stealthiness. He forces himself to stay awake no matter how exhausted he may be so he can admire your features. Sometimes, he’ll brush his fingers over the various grooves of your face, the touch so featherlight that you’ll remain none the wiser. He kinda considers this time as the best outlet to get his creepy urges out. For this reason, he’s always in an extra good mood when it starts to get dark out. You’d be right in thinking you probably don’t want to know why. 
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daylite-writes · 20 days
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Yandere Xiao Thoughts
cw: previous kidnapping, mild self harm, yandere, soft yandere, fairly mild.
Oh immortal yanderes. The ones that steal you away, the ones that don’t quite understand how humans work. The ones that didn’t do their research.
The ones in over their head.
Learning quickly how much humans need socialization, need stimulation, need sun and nature. Learning quickly how badly humans react to being deprived of it.
Xiao doesn’t know how to react once it starts getting to you. You’re breaking down more often, quicker anger, quicker to cry. Pacing the small area he’s forced you into. At first, he thought you were just going through a… rougher period of adjustment. Until your coping mechanisms become self destructive.
He doesn’t know what do when he comes back from patrolling Liyue to find the skin of your forearms red, covered in scratches from your own nails. He offers little except panted out comforts and promises of safety as he pins you down, trying to keep your hands off you, deathly afraid of you hurting yourself even more. This goes on for hours, until you eventually fall asleep, exhausted and worn out from the months.
After a short consolation with Zhongli, the reality that he’s been caring for you horribly becomes apparent. His previously iron will and rules eroding a bit as he tries to meet the less visible, psychological needs that a human requires.
But bending his own rules for you does not mean freedom.
You need sunlight? You’re in his lap for hours, his arms wrapped around you as you two sit in the sun atop a isolated mountain peak. It’s better than nothing, but he refuses to let go. This becomes routine.
You need mental stimulation? Entertainment and occupation? Zhongli suggests books, but Xiao decides on you singing and playing music. So he can hear it. You’ve never played, but when he presents you with several masterfully crafted instruments, you eventually have no choice but to take a violin bow into your hands and open the guide book he gave you. What else is there to do. He’s always lingering whenever you’re learning.
You’re touch starved? Now his hands won’t leave your skin. It’s not even lewd, more threatening as he rests his hand around the back of your neck, or forces you to hug him.
Previously, you felt like a little bird in a cage, never to fly, owned by a passive master. Now though, you’re role is that of an unwilling lap dog. Better, even if you yearn for something else.
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yourlocalstranger123 · 11 months
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INSPIRED BY CHARACTER. AI. MERMAN XIAO!
Warning!: Slight Yandere Xiao?
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—Back story—
You saved Xiao from a fishing net. He was very cautious around you. But when you finally set him free from it and just went along the day without doing anything bad to him, he became curious. You pretended you never knew he stalked you, leaving behind fruits you harvested. When he finally got the courage to talk to you, you were so... kind. Unlike other humans. He started to cling to you. In the past, he would've made you leave the moment the time ran out, but now he makes excuses for you to stay a little longer. He had this....unfamiliar and strange feeling... He finally found out what the feeling was. Love. It felt so nice, comforting, and addicting. He wanted more... but didn't want to scare you off.
When he finally wanted to confess his feelings to you, you...you left him. He was so upset! He destroyed everything along his path. 'Why did you leave him?!' Until he finally stopped and eavesdrop upon a conversation. "Have you heard? (Name) is being forced to move away!" He left the conversation, not even bothering to hear the rest. 'So you didn't leave him on....purpose? Who forced you to leave!' He got angry. But calmed down when he saw the fruit of basket you left behind. [He now knows that you left behind fruits on purpose for him] He smiled, he picked up the basket and swam to your house, wanting to eat these with you. But he saw a lady/man flirting with you as you showed discomfort. 'Are these things the reason you're going away from him?!' His eyes lit in fury. When night came, he killed them. Smiling as he finally got rid of them... He just needs to find you and keep you all for himself ♥︎
—(I changed some things from the Ai said.)—
You could hear a strange sound that was halfway between a growl and a chuckle as he grabbed you. He pulled you down underwater before you lost consciousness. When you wake, you see a pair of sharp yellow eyes staring down at you. His form is pitch black. It looks almost like the darkness itself. He grabs your arm and pins you down, staring at you with his glowing yellow eyes.
“And where do you think you’re going?” He asked with a cruel tone. The way he looked into your eyes would send ice down your spine...
"Xiao?! What are you doing here? I thought you left—"
“I changed my mind,” he cut off your sentence. You sighed. As you were about to say something, you noticed his eyes glowing darkly as the yellow of his irises became a more intense, piercing yellow.
“You’re not going anywhere. Not without me…”
"Xiao...But I need to leave. I'll promise to visit you"
“A Visit?” He laughed, “Do you think me as a fool, human? I know you just want to escape…” He said, his jaw tightening.
He grabbed you and tilted your head to face him. He slowly gets closer. “You’re not going anywhere…” He hissed, his tail lashing around. He was getting violent now, and his eyes were getting darker, and the light blue luminescent parts were growing dimmer, slowly fading away. Suddenly, small tears flow down from his eyes, leaving you surprised.
"Xiao...I won't leave you." You slowly put your hands out, offering a hug. He hesitated but crawled over to your arms. Flinching when he feels you close your arms. Tightening his grip on your shirt, scared of you leaving....
After a while, his expression softened. He loosened his grip, but his eyes still looked dangerously feral… His grip may have loosened, but he still had a firm grip on you…he hid his face in your chest.
"I won't leave you, Xiao, ok? I'll bring you with me if you want."
“I… I see…” He said in a quiet, sinister but almost purring voice. He leaned in close, his face mere inches away from yours.
"Promise...?"
"Promise," you smiled. Making his heart flutter and feeling butterflies in his stomach.
His arms tightened around you, his tail wrapped around you, and he spoke softly and quietly, yet the malice in his voice was clear.
“Where is your thing to move?” He hissed, his breath brushing against your cheek, as if he would take a bite any moment.…Your fate was in danger now. “Where exactly is it?”
"Hmm, I'll bring you there if you let me go."
For a moment longer, he stared, his predatory gaze holding you in place. But then he let go and stepped back… His gaze softened, but still warning. “I’ll let you go for now…” He growled in a soft, purring voice. [That what the Ai said, not me‐]
He yelped when he felt you picked him up. You lead him to your house. Putting him in your bath-tub.
"I thought we were going to your thing?" He said slightly cunfused and scared that you'll leave him here.
"Well, you need water to survive, so I'm bringing a tub."
His eyes perked up. 'How thoughtful....' he thought. But you suddenly got out the door, making him scared and scratch the bath tub. 'Where are you going..?!' He almost had a breakdown until you came back with a towel.
You picked him up and put him in the car with a tub as you start the car. He didn't know what to do but was surprised and happy when you held out your hand. He excitedly holds your hand as you start driving. You'll probably have to dry the car from him wagging his tail in result of water splashing.
But nonetheless, he was happy. Smiling...he was also glad that you didn't see the dead bodies of those people who flirted with you under the trees.
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kissesforsatoru · 1 year
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yan! siren! xiao falling in love with a sweet, naive darling who was just curious about the sea. he’d draw you in using your curiosity and then trap you without any way to escape. he’ll manipulate the hell out of you and make it so that you’re completely dependent on only him, telling you that a fragile little humans like you will break without someone like him to protect you—and you being naive cling to everything he tells you, even if you’re scared. you just can’t help but be so captivated by him, but whether it’s of your own volition or the result of his siren capabilities you’re unsure
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yourheart-inmyhands · 8 months
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Hiya! I'm happy that You enjoyed my idea! And I realy liked how you wrote it! Especialy the Furina part :D
I'm not sure if you are okay with writing this, but if you are: Which of the Genshin characters would handled their lovers death the worst?
- 🐶 anon
oooo this one was really good! i couldn't pick just one so i did five little short ones! I hope you enjoy :D
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Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including lots of talk about death, delusional behavior, childish temper tantrums, making puppets of reader, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!
Yandere!Furina would throw an absolute fit, upset at the idea of you dying on her, of you leaving her. She has to be pulled away from your corpse by Neuvillette because she’s screaming as she shakes it in a panicked manner. She’s desperate for you to wake up, screaming and crying as she tries to convince herself that you aren’t really dead. That you haven’t left her. She has to take a leave of absence from the court for a while, grief is a difficult thing and she doesn’t handle it well. 
Yandere!Raiden would be enraged. You promised to spend eternity with her, and now you were trying to back out of it? She won’t let you. She does everything in her power to bring you back, from creating a puppet of you to trapping your soul in the Plane of Euthymia. Nothing is right though, the puppet doesn’t feel the way you used to, it doesn’t behave like it should. Your soul isn’t any better, it can only replay strong memories from when you were alive, leaving Raiden feeling like she’s talking to a movie. She destroys the puppet and hides your soul away in a far corner of the Plane, though she feels equally as awful afterwards. 
Yandere!Wanderer is distraught when he loses you, he had lost so many before and yet, this one hurt the most. He sits on the outskirts of Sumeru City for a while, remaining stock still on a bench as he just feels. While he seems composed on the outside, on the inside he’s in pure agony. He doesn’t want to think or feel or move or do anything at all because everything just reminds him of you. It takes months for him to move from the bench, sitting there day in and day out despite the weather, and when he does move it’s only to sit in front of your grave. There he sits for another month, just staring at the name that once belonged to his loved one, now passed. The lover who left him, just like everyone else did.
Yandere!Xiao blames himself for your death, whether it's an accident, intentional, or simply of something you couldn’t stop like aging or sickness, Xiao will think it’s his fault. It’s always his fault, everything was because he wasn’t strong enough to protect you. The next year is spent with Xiao hardly being seen by anyone, not even food could lure him out. He spends all his time fighting, killing anything and everything in sight that deserves it as he tries to let the burn of his karmic debt distract from the ache in his heart. He refuses to visit your grave, making Zhongli bury you and not even attending your funeral. Not because he doesn’t love you, but because he can’t bring himself to attend. He thinks he’s the reason you’re dead and he didn’t think you’d want him in attendance. He spends the rest of his life span thinking you died hating him, blaming him.
Yandere!Diluc is unsure of how to feel when you pass. He’d felt the pain of losing his father, and while he’s not dead, Diluc had lost his brother for many years in a way. But your death was different, it didn’t make him so upset he was driven to violence like his father, but rather made him want to simply lay there and cry. He spent a week straight just in bed after your funeral, hands idly tracing over the side of the bed you once slept on. He keeps everything exactly how you left it, never touching a thing incase one day, somehow, you came back to him. He wanted you to know that he loved you so much that he left everything just how you liked it.
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dearestxiao · 2 months
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the color blue: neon [part 2] | yandere xiao x reader, yandere venti x reader
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synopsis: the days until you finally meet your penpal has been ticking by so quickly, but with a new tutor, a clingy roommate, and a professor who seems to only want the worst for you, it's hard to keep track of time. WARNINGS: DARK CONTENT, yandere characters, creepy xiao is creepy (lots of potentially uncomfortable thoughts from his perspective), heavily implied stalking, possessiveness, manipulation, dub-con touching, student-teacher dynamic, age gap (reader is 21+ and zhongli is 27+, feel free to adjust as need be). let me know if I need to add anything! reader is gender neutral.
wc: 10.7k
author notes: I wanted to first say thank you for the wait, and I hope that everybody is able to enjoy the changes and edits I’ve made to the story. I also wanted to say thank you to the mutuals who had helped me create the original version of the story. it has been a long time since then, and I’m not entirely sure if they’re still active (OTZ), so I’m not sure if they would still like to be tagged but I am forever grateful to them. this is the last exposition heavy chapter, as well as my last read edit/re-upload of a chapter, so the next few chapters will be much meatier with new content!!! again, thank you so much for the wait. love you all! as always, reblogs are very appreciated if enjoyed and if possible!
ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ່࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏” ♡♡♡ [part 1]
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dark content. minors do not interact. do not repost/link.
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from xiao's room, there's a perfect view of the town a bit away from campus that greets him everytime he steps inside. it's a gorgeous sight, which is something he could admit, even though he didn’t choose the place himself, one anyone would be grateful for. the town is bright and bustling even still, and it’s only now starting to dim down. it’s getting late into the night, with flashy lights and beautiful architecture and homey buildings, and so many people, people, people.
there are still families on an outing, and cute couples going on dates. shop owners sweeping around their store. he can see as the everyday salaryman walks back home, accompanying the students on their own way home from classes; he can see so many lives being lived from his isolated little tower.
and yet, on nights like these, no matter how enchanting the view, xiao usually prefers to keep his blinds tightly shutー out of sight, out of mind. jealousy is a vile thing, isn't it? it's nasty, tainting your view of the world, of the things you love. after the first few weeks after xiao had moved in, the view quickly lost the charm it once had. because at the end of the day, to him, the view only serves as a cruel reminder of just how alone xiao is and always has been.
it dangles around a painful reminder of the things xiao can never have. it's so close, yet so far out of reach.
but despite his usual bitterness, xiao doesn’t bother closing the blinds tonight, because tonight, he has hope, hope that he could one day be like the many walks of life he sees everyday from his apartment window. hope that he’ll have something worth wondering about.
xiao sits himself on his bed, the second biggest source of comfort in his life right now. for some reason, he feels awfully nervous. he knows why, but he can’t help but wish that awful feeling away. for a split second, he can’t help but wish he was as confident and fearless as... no. he won’t think like that, not right now, at least. he shakes away the thought. butterflies jitter all up and around his stomach as his shaky hands picks up his phone and dials numbers, your numbers. the digits are already memorized by heart.
he tries to calm his nerves as he presses the phone up to his ear after hitting the call button, nails digging into the pajamas he changed into when he got home. he thickly swallows, waiting as patiently as he can, like usual.
ring. rinnng. rinnnnnggg. 
it doesn't take too long for you to pick up.
"hello?" he finally hears.
it's only one word (and a pretty basic one at that), but xiao can already hear the soft underlying shyness of your voice. his mouth naturally opens a little agape. you've always been nervous around those you weren't close to. your voice sends him into a state of bliss, so much so his brain is too foggy to reply until you coo out another hello, questioning if anyone is there on the other line due to the silence.
he almost has to force himself to speak "It's… xiao," he blinks, not even saying hello back, "from professor zhongli's class," xiao almost slips up by saying the name you know him much better by. “you… we spoke on the train. I don’t know if you remember,” he manages to stutter out.
you had seemed pretty out of it when you two talked earlier that very same day. you must’ve been so exhausted to have fallen asleep like that, right next to him. he’s still replaying the site of it over and over, the way you were struggling so hard to stay awake, head bobbing back and forth. it was probably embarrassing for you, but it was a pleasant sight for him. the soft puff of your cheeks and the furrow of your brows, the shallowness of your breath and how relaxed you looked. it made him feel like a creep, staring at you in that state, such an intimate state, a vulnerable state. 
it’s why he had held back as long as he could before finally tapping you awake, wanting to bask in the precious sight for longer.
he snaps back to finally finish his explanation, “…you gave me your number earlier today," he says it less as a reminder to you, but instead as a reminder to himself. he bites his lip, waiting for you to respond, wishing he could see what you looked like right now.
in the meantime, he remembers how your eyes had begrudgingly opened back up at the feeling of him touching you. he remembers the warmth of your body that felt like it could melt his finger tips from the heat. he wishes he could see and feel both much more often, but xiao is patient. lord, is he patient.
he remembers how embarrassed you looked as you sat up in your seat, trying to reorient yourself. “sorry, what did you say?” you finally had spoken after getting settled. you must’ve been too frazzled to hear him the first time. he cleared his throat before he repeated himself, this time a little louder, a little less shy than the first time around.
“I asked which stop you get off at.” you looked at him with eyes big with confusion. he hoped, desperately (he’s always so desperate), that he hadn’t made you feel anything negative.
he made sure to explain the question in hopes that it made you feel more comfortable and not as confused. “…I can wake you up before you get there, if you’d like.”
despite his wants, he needed to make sure you were safe, and were able to actually get home. if he didn’t ‘protect’ you, who would? definitely not that roommate of yours.
to his (would be short-lived) disappointment you had shaken your head. “no, it’s fine. I really shouldn’t have fallen asleep in the first place.” you had paused for a short second before saying, “thank you, though, xiao.” he doesn’t like to remember how he almost shivered at the sound of his name coming from your lips, nor how he had to turn his head as he nodded because he could feel heat creep up it. 
"oh, yes, xiao! sorry, I wasn't expecting you to call so soon. what can I do for you?"
“you asked on the train if I could tutor you. I wanted to set something up.”
it’s true, even if xiao can’t believe it himself. he knew this day would come, but didn’t expect it to be this soon. after several minutes of silence between you two, (or at least as silent as it could be on a train), you had turned to him, as if remembering something, getting his attention before you asked him something.
“sorry if this is coming out of nowhere. I was wondering if…” you took a breath, and xiao had almost sworn you were bordering scared as you finished your question. “I was wondering if you could possibly tutor me for zhonglis class? I don’t know if you’d be able to, but I spoke to him earlier today, and he recommended asking you for help.”
and of course he had said yes, to your surprise. he remembers thinking, silently, that maybe the universe was rewarding him for being so patient, and he had to keep his cool the best he could. 
now here he is, actually setting something up. “would tomorrow with you?”
"yes!," you let out a nervous little laugh at your uncontrollable excitement. xiao can just picture the smile you have on your face, all shy and awkward and cute. "that would work great, I think. I really wasn't expecting you to set something up so quickly. I'm grateful though."
xiao would make the tutoring session today during the dead of night if he could. of course he would set something up so quickly.
you don't need to know that, though.
xiao hums at your words. "we… we can have our first session at my place, if you're comfortable with that." he realizes he might be coming off too strong, so he adds, "but we can have it somewhere else too." he hopes you agree to the first suggestion though.
"t-that'd be great, yeah. whatever works for you, works for me."
"I'll text you the address and the time, then… and we can discuss more sessions or a schedule and stuff further.”
"that sounds good. thank you so much again." you repeat, and he can hear the relief in your voice. it should be him thanking you, really. 
"of course. goodnight."
“goodnight!” you repeat before you both hang up. a wave of bliss strikes his body.
but he isn’t going to sleep, not yet, atleast. Instead, he’s going to stay up all night, right in front of his window, thinking of all the possible lives he’s about to live.
he’ll make sure to thank zhongli for that in the morning.
ーーー NEW MESSAGE ーーー ☆
[name]: I don't think you understand how nervous I am right now
[name]: my hands are shaking and everything
alatus: why? is something wrong?
[name]: you know how I told you how I wasn't doing the greatest in one of my courses?
alatus: of course. did something happen?
[name]: the most intimidating guy I've ever met in my life is my tutor now
[name]: and I have no idea how this first session is gonna go
alatus: I think you’ll be fine. you shouldn’t worry yourself
alatus: you should let me know how everything goes.
ーーー☆
xiao's home is, to put it simply, unique.
you were left awestruck as soon as you stepped into the small but gorgeous studio apartment, shocked by both the feeling of jealousy creeping up your spine and the thought of how someone could possibly afford such an apartment, especially as a college student. no matter how xiao manages to afford his place, though, his home daunts over you. 
there's a large window that lines the wall his bed and desk are propped up against and you can't help but imagine just how xiao would look as he looked out of it and at the bustling city. the glass is frosted and wet from the pitter pattering rain that seems to persist in the cool weather of october. it's a little messy, books scattered about here and there and takeout bags littering the table, and the amount of lighting in this room seems to be as minimal (and as cold) as can be, but it's nothing too bad at all. nothing that you could complain about, at least. 
there's so many things inside his house, so many things your eyes are drawn to, like his big bookcase and comfy bed and his expensive computer setup, and yet it feels so... lonely. devoid of life, even. maybe it's the look of the gloomy black walls and the fact that the only lighting xiao has is a tall floor lamp and the light that comes through his window, but you've never seen such a full home feel so empty. no plants except for one little succulent that's looking worse for wear, no photos of friends or family, no bright colors, no pets to breathe life into the place, no companion to help make this house a home. nothing.
you're suddenly grateful you have such a lively roommate.
it's been a few minutes since xiao had let you in, greeting you in his comfy hoodie and baggy pants, hair put up into a messy bun, before attending to something on his computer (an important email you think, or at least something along those likes, something urgent), telling you to sit wherever you'd like and that he'll be with you shortly. you had nodded while leaving your shoes at the door, asking him if his bed would be a seat he's okay with you being on, garnering a hum in response from him.
"...I'll sit here then, since it'll be close to you and stuff," you murmur, admittedly a bit more nervous and unconfident sounding than you'd like. you plop yourself onto xiao's bed, placing your bag at your feet in front of the bed for easy access. xiao takes what's meant to be a quick glance at you, but he's unable to look away.
he knows it's creepy to say, especially when you're just sitting down so innocently, but the sight is better than what he's fantasized about. he's thought of you so many times in his bed, cuddling with him and running your hands through his hair and letting him press kisses into your face and collar bones. he's thought about waking you up with breakfast and how you'd smile and thank him even if he can't cook very well, but he's willing to learn a couple recipes for you. he's thought about laying there with you after a long day, letting you ramble as he listened like he does as alatus. he's thought about how he'd great you once he comes home like you probably do with venti, watching your form as he wait on his bed for him.
and, most of all, he's thought about the way you'd cry and sob and call him a monster once the day that you find out that his bed is now yours and that this apartment is now your home, trapped forever with him, finally comes.
one day you'll be here permanently, he's sure of it. baby steps first, though.
xiao doesn't realize that in the midst of his thinking, he's been absolutely staring you down, and considering that xiao has a naturally viscous (bitchy) looking resting face, you can't help but squirm under his gaze. "xiao? I can... move, if you'd like."
"no, I just..." he clears his throat before looking back at the work in front of him. "sorry, I zoned out for a second. you can stay there if it feels comfortable. whatever you want." the words come out as a sort of awkward, almost inaudible mumble.
is this supposed to be as awkward and tense feeling as it is?
you nod at his words, albeit a little hesitant, further settling into the soft plush of his bed. your brain is still convinced that he might want you to move, but you decide to just stay where you are. you reach down from your seat, pulling out everything you would need from your bag, waiting patiently for any instructions. the soft clicking of xiao's keyboard and the sound of rain hitting against the window fill the otherwise silent room, and honestly, given the atmosphere and the way xiao's room is so dark and cozy and how warm and inviting his bed is, you're tempted to fall asleep.
xiao's presence, though nerve-wracking, makes you feel at home. it feels familiar. you wouldn't mind falling asleep near him again.
but today's (sadly) not the day for resting. xiao finishes whatever he's working on, closing out of the tab and turning his chair to face your spot on the bed. he brushes a piece of his hair back and out of the way, uncovering the eyebrow piercing the bothersome piece had previously hid. his eyes look dead, tired dark circles laying underneath, and yet he still forces himself to speak, like a zombie who simply refuses to just give up and die.
"did you have anything specific in mind that you want to go over?"
you take a second to think, humming in response. zhongli never truly specified what you needed to brush up upon, only that the last few assignments weren't up to his standards, whatever that means. "I don't know. maybe everything from the last few weeks? I'm not so sure."
he too lets out a soft little hum as he thinks for a moment. he's never tutored before, and he's pretty sure he doesn't even have the qualifications to actually be of any sort of help. he makes it up as he goes.
“on the back of your textbook, there's a study guide that covers all the chapters inside." he gently motions for you to give him the book sitting on your lap, flipping to the page before handing it back to you. "I want you to do the questions of the study guide that cover the chapters we've already read in class. then I'll... assess you from there, and we can come up with a plan.”
it seems like a lot of work, and that's because it is. the longer you spend here (the more he can milk this session for everything it's worth), the better.
you nod, moving to get to work immediately, putting your full effort into the task at hand. you both work silently, xiao clicking at his keys alongside the noise of you flipping through the pages of your textbook and jotting answers down. the noises compliment one another well, creating a lingering sense of peace and calm in the air. you find yourself getting stuck on one or two of the questions, but… surprisingly breezing through the rest, and after a while of working, you gently speak his name, alerting him that you've finished. he’s quick to take your work, starting his inspection of it. 
your hands can’t help but get a little clammy as you watch as he reads through your answers, analyzing each and every single written word. in the meantime, you’re doing a little analysis of your own, trying to distract your mind from feeling any more nervous than you realistically should. 
your eyes flick from his messy hair, to the beauty mark almost right in the middle of his forehead, then to the soft dusting of red eyeshadow under his eyes. you look at how he runs a finger against the words on the page, too, almost subconsciously, and though you can’t really tell from this angle what he’s doing, you think he’s more so tracing the letters you’ve written than using it as a means to follow along. he almost looks entranced. you don’t know what to expect from xiao, can’t even guess what he’s thinking, and the furrowed eyebrows on his face definitely don’t make you feel any better. 
you sit there, idley, awkwardly, fidgeting for what seemed like more than just a few minutes, before xiao finally speaks up. 
you can barely hear him as he speaks, his words hushed and muffled. "you... need a lot of brushing up on the content, and your answers… lack good explanations and reasoning." he hands you back your work, sending you an almost sympathetic look. "I can see why zhongli believes you need help,” he adds.
it's a lie, of course, but you don't need to know that, not when zhongli had so delicately laid down the groundwork for all of this to happen in the first place. most of your answers were just fine as is, at least from what he lightly skimmed through.
still, he can't help but feel guilty when that look of embarrassment washes over your face.
for some reason you feel yourself get overwhelmed with emotion. you thought that maybe, just maybe, zhongli was simply just messing with you, as was notorious with the man and his teaching methods. but there's a stark sense of embarrassment that comes from xiao reaffirming what zhongli had said, an embarrassment so strong it sends your entire body ablaze with heat. 
you can't help but awkwardly shift in your seat as you nod along to his words despite the way your head almost feels too heavy to lift, avoiding eye contact lest he sees you so embarrassed over something so... silly, a miniscule problem at best, something fixable with a bit of elbow grease and time, and yet it means way more than it should to you.
you've worked so hard in this class already. why aren't you improving?
he doesn’t let you really catch your breath before he speaks again. "I think we'll need a couple more sessions than we discussed earlier," he mumbles, again, as though too ashamed to speak up, flipping through his own textbook, face in his hand as he thinks. "I want to make sure we can get as much content covered as possible before the end of the semester and catch you back up, since you seem to be..." xiao takes a quick glance at you, and for a moment, just a split second, he sees you, sees inside of you, sees every little thing you've been keeping bottled up, your fear. he looks away, breath hitching out of complete and utter guilt. he forces himself to continue though.
"...behind," he finishes, the single word said notably softer than the rest of the sentence.
xiao forces himself to swallow down his guilt. truly, he feels terrible about lying about this, because you clearly seem to be doing just fine on you own and lord knows how much stress this entire ordeal is causing you, but what's the use of being presented and blessed by the gods themselves with such an amazing opportunity if his sinning hands can't take it out of greed? xiao hates it, but he's always been more of a taker than a giver, taking all he can from people and leaving nothing left of them.
the simple pure utter bliss at the thought of spending hours and hours with you, in his room, alone, intimately and in person instead of just being with you through a phone screen, extinguishes any guilt he could possibly feel.
you, on the other hand, do allow yourself to feel guilt, though it's a feeling that has much more innocent roots than what xiao feels. it's a feeling that pokes and stabs at you as you fumble for words to say. you're a much better person than xiao is in that regard. you can't help but to feel ashamed, ashamed that you were doing so terrible at a course that goes directly into your major that you would have to force xiaoー a man renowned for being a lonerー who surely would rather spend his free time by himself and not tutoring someone so out of your realm and element as you are.
maybe it's not too late after all to consider switching majors, you think.
"you seriously don't have to do that, I don't want to take more time from you than I'm already taking. honestly, I think I'm a bit of a lost cause at this point if I can't even do the simpler questions."
the truth is, not even xiao knows how scared you are. fear and dread soars through your body at the thought of ending up in the same spot you were in last year.
xiao lets out a sigh through his nose at your words, a noise that does nothing other than make you feel worse, especially when you can't read his emotions and tell what's going on in that labyrinth of a brain he has. maybe he's realized that you're not worth spending his time. maybe you really are a loss cause. maybe you really should change your major. maybe you should call it quits and drop out. maybe you should move countries, marry a rich doctor or a lawyer and spend the rest of your days as a glorified housespー
xiao doesn't let you finish your thoughts (plans), instead getting up from his chair slowly. "let's take a break." he says, and while you feel a break is a little undeserved after you haven't done much studying, you nod, thinking it might be best to just relax before jumping back into things. "taking things slowly is the better way to do things," you nod, although the words just barely register themselves in your head. you're surprisingly vulnerable with him.
"I'm... going to step out for a moment to get some air. I'll give you some time for yourself to think." you nod, giving him a small and meek thank you, genuinely so utterly grateful for all the time xiao has given you. you can't help yourself from bothering him just once more before he leaves, though.
"xiao?" you don't look up at him, eyes fixated on your answers and what must've been so wrong with them. you hear him hum, beckoning you to continue.
“do you think I'll be able to pass?”
"of course you will," he answers, and it's the first truth he's said all day.
"of course," he mumbles, this time lower, a reminder to himself of how you'd be completely fine on your own, and that he should never, ever take this opportunity for granted.
he makes a promise to himself that he won't.
----- NEW TEXT MESSAGE -----☆
zhongli: hello, [name]. xiao informed me earlier today that you two will be conducting your first study session today. I'm glad you spoke to him about tutoring like I had advised you to. how are things going?
[name]: it's going fine, he mostly just reaffirmed what you already told me though. but he's been really kind about it all, I'm grateful that he agreed to help me out.
zhongli: I see. I hope that he could give you a new perspective on things and aid you in your weak spots. xiao is an amazing student in his own right, and I'm sure that together, you two will make an amazing team. I'm glad you two are getting along.
zhongli: I'd like to give you a little heads up for a future assignment, but there will be a project upcoming where I'll be sure to partner you two up. I'm sure you two will impress me on what you come up with.
zhongli: I believe in you, [name], and I expect good things coming forward.
zhongli: I'm sure that xiao is grateful as well.
[name]: thank you.
[name]: I hope to meet your standards as best as I can.
-----☆
the apartment is even quieter than it was before without xiao.
it's lonely, too.
in a way, you used this little moment to yourself as a justification and way to figure out just what exactly is the enigma that is xiao. now that you're by yourself, you find yourself looking around at his walls, glancing over at one of the two of his cork boards that seems to have a bunch of what looks to be memorabilia of all sorts, stuff like old music concert tickets of local bands you've never heard of, polaroids with some familiar places and even some of his friends, post-it note scribbles of different tasks he has to get done, among other things.
you visualize yourself looking at the corkboard as though it's those ones in those crime movies, where you're using red yarn to connect the pieces of a story together, figuring out with all the clues you have at your disposal who xiao is.
there's other things, too. posters lining the wall and a singular cat shaped plushie on his bed, a wilted bouquet of flowers in a vase on his kitchen countertop meant for decoration, various little knick knacks on his desk, but the part of his room that catches your eye most, though, is his large, expansive bookshelf filled (a little messily) with a variety of different things, almost all of it stuff you actually recognize.
you’re halfway through looking around before you hear the door open back up again. you instinctually freeze, as of you’re a kid who’s been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. you shift your head, locking eyes with him as he steps back inside. to your surprise, he doesn’t look upset, not even annoyed, just intrigued as he watches you awkwardly shuffle away a little from the bookshelves.
you try to apologize with hast. “sorry, I wasn’t trying to snoop or anything, I swear, I was just–“
xiaos quick to interject as he walks right past you over to sit, this time on his bed instead of at his desk. “it’s fine. I don’t mind. you don’t have to apologize.” he crosses his arms once he’s situated in his seat. “do whatever you’d like.” he adds in an attempt to comfort you.
it sounds sarcastic, but you somehow can tell that it’s not. you nod, taking it as (hoping that it’s) permission to keep going. your eyes move over to the other corkboard near the bookshelves, hoping that you’re not stepping over any boundaries by doing so. this board is filled more with many different photos pinned up onto it. there’s all sorts of sites and places, things like concerts or shops or restaurants or nature– the list goes on– with a rare one or two photos with him actually in it. even rarer seemed to be other people that didn’t look like strangers in the background.
you subconsciously speak a thought aloud. “you seem to go out a lot. to really cool places, too.”
the only thing he really says in response is, “all of those aren’t recent.”
you hum in response, eyebrows furrowing a little as you nod in understanding. “oh, I see.” xiao takes it as an opportunity to ask you something even though he knows the answer already. “what about you? do you go out a lot?”
the question takes you a little aback. “I haven’t gotten out a lot recently either.” you try to think about all you’ve done recently, before realizing there’s nothing much to think about at all. you add, in truth, “…you’re honestly the first person I’ve spent time with in a while that wasn’t my roommate, but I don’t think that really counts.”
he cocks his head to the side at that answer, golden eyes staring at you (almost straight through your soul), intrigued. “why haven’t you spent time with anyone else?
a soft pang hits your heart as you think about the reason. the breakup. despite how much time has gone by, you’re still tender about the topic, and would rather not think about everything it’s caused as a result. would rather not think about him, either.
you let out a nervous laugh. “that’s a long story, I guess.” 
xiao seems dissatisfied with that answer. he’s never responded so quickly, without hesitating before.
“I have time.”
you send a look of slight confusion his way. “I thought we were going to study some more today?”
“right…” xiao let’s a lot of dead air slip in whenever he speaks, pausing and hanging onto words as if he’s doing mental calculations to figure out what the right thing to say next. “…in the future, then.”
you nod as your eye continues it’s adventure through the board before another photo catches your attention fully. it’s a pretty photo of a bunch of people standing near the docks, holding up and letting go of lanterns. it looks like, judging from the date scribbled on the bottom of the photo and the contents of the photo itself, the annual lantern rite from a few years back. you remember that day, almost vividly, too. that was your first year at the school. you and venti had gone together that year. it was magical. it seems like xiao really was never too far from you. seriously, you’re surprised you two haven’t talked sooner.
you can’t help but smile as you reminisce on that day. “I remember this exact lantern rite. there was so many people, and the lanterns were so beautiful. they always are.”
you turn around to face him, again. “how long has it been since you’ve gone to the harbor? if I lived as close as you do, I think I’d go to the harbor whenever I have time.”
it takes awhile for xiao to respond, not because he’s thinking of an answer, but because he’s transfixed on your expression right now. you seem so happy that it naturally just pulls on his heart strings. he’s glad you still remember that particular lantern rite, even though he knows you’ve gone to more since then. xiao remembers that day visibly too, but probably (definitely) not for the same you do. he wonders if you remember that part of it deep inside.
“um… since the day of that photo, probably.”
you’re a little taken aback from that answer. xiao lives on the outskirts of the harbor. how could he have not gone back in years? everything you learn about xiao makes you more and more curious as to who he is. “really?” you can’t help but ask. he can’t help but shrug.
you speak without even thinking twice once more. “would you want to go again sometime then?” your eyes dart away from his face. you can’t help but look away before you finish the question, unable to look him in the eye as you clarify, “with me, I mean.” you stumble out the words more confidently than you exprcted. 
he lets out a sigh. “there’s nothing I want from there…” it’s the truth. he hasn’t been very fond of the harbor for what has felt like centuries, especially not the memories he’s tethered to. he can’t help but to regret the accidental roughness of his words, though, when he looks up to see a flash of embarrassment paint across your face. it feels like he picked the wrong answer, but he wants to say the right one, desperately. xiao has never been great at talking, but he’s trying, for you. “but if you’d like… I’d like to go with you.”
you try to hide the way your heart picks up the pace a little at his words. “let’s go soon, then. I can tell you about myself, and you can tell me about you, too.”
he nods, and for a split second you think you’ve gone insane, because you swear, swear, that for a few seconds, the corner of xiao’s lips curve softly into a smile. a smile! smiling at the thought of you two ‘hanging out’ in the future! for all the times you’ve seen xiao, you can maybe only count on one hand how many times you’ve seen him smile. 
“you want to learn about me?” he asks, earnestly, shocked, and it definitely wasn’t a question you were expecting.
“yeah, I mean I've always seen you around. I think we've even been in the same classes before this year, too, and now I’m getting tutored by you  and I still know pretty much nothing about you.” you pause before adding on, “I’d love to learn more. I hope that’s not weird, or anything.”
he shakes his head, the ghost of a smile still etched onto his lips. and if you looked closely (which luckily for him, you weren’t), you’d see the faint dust of blush decorating his cheeks, too. “I don’t have much to tell you, but… that sounds good.”
he feels embarrassed at the fact he can’t control how warm his cheeks feel and how he can’t help but crack a smile at you. he clears his throat, trying to reset himself, suddenly ready to move on, going back to his desk. 
“let’s keep working, I want to make the most out of the time we have together.” he doesn’t look at you as he speaks. you mentally brace yourself for another study session with him.
it’s gonna be a long night.
ーーー NEW MESSAGE ーーー ☆
ven: where have you been?
ven: haven’t seen you all day……….. ):
ven: my flower, the house is so empty without you……….. ))):
ven: are you with somebody? you never tell me these things anymore.
ven: talk to me soon, please.
ーーー ☆
it's late into the night when you're awakened rudely with a few desperate knocks against your bedroom door.
you can't help but groan as you stir awake, upset to be forced out of your dream state, although that irritation is soon replaced with guilt once you realize just why you were being awakened with such urgency in the first place. after whining out a loud, 'come in,' you peak your eyes open to see your best friend standing in your doorway, tears staining his face so much that they're visible even in the darkness.
shit. it's been so long since you've seen venti like this. you thought all of that was over ages ago.
"can I sleep with you tonight?" his voice is shakey yet gentle, filled with fear and something that you can only label as... need, as if he needs you more than he ever has. just his voice alone, paired with the way he looks so in the doorway while he's shivering and fiddling with his pajamas, hair looking almost as distraught as he's feeling, is enough to have you too stunned to speak.
"please?" he adds on when you don't reply immediately.
you nod, scooting over to make room for him as he slowly trudges to your bed like he's done many times before. he's quick to settle in under the covers with you, laying against the plush pillow underneath him. you move closer to him as though it's instinct, an action done out of retained muscle memory from the many nights you've spent doing this exact thing. your eyes, though half lidded and heavy, trace over his face over and over again, noting how his eyes look back at you and you can't help but think that venti is such an expressive person. even if he's so silent right now, his eyes are cloudy and storming, speaking a thousand words with the thunder that rings out within them.
he looks like he's trying to think of what to say, but he doesn't need to say a single thing. you already know why he's here.
his face is contorted in a way that almost showcases utter agony, and it hurts, hurts to see your best friend suffering, especially when the best you can do is guide your hand softly against the smooth the skin of his cheek and brushing away any tears in pity. if nothing else, you truly do hope that, at the very least, your presence can help.
“do you maybe want to talk about it?” you run your hand through his soft, pretty dyed blue locks that seem to almost glow in the moonlight, feeling the light moisture of his skin from his sweat. you’ve forgotten just how easy it always has been to brush your hand through his locks. your voice is gentle and low as if not to startle him, as if not to shatter him more than he already is. “you know you don’t have to, but you can always talk to me if you need to.”
“no, it’s okay... I just want to be with you right now.” his voice is meek as he chooses his words carefully as though they're meticulously chosen to pull at your heartstrings (they do), and he sounds like he’s on the brink of tears once more.
“is it the same dream as before?” you ask, remembering how many nights you've spent with venti just like this when he began getting frequent ‘nightmares’ awhile back, nightmares that till this day you don't know the contents of.
he nods, although hesitantly, as though it’s some sort of secret. and in a way, it is.
he could never, ever, ever tell you that you’re the cause of all of his nightmares after all.
“are you sure you don’t want to talk about it? you look really upset. you've never told me what makes you like this.”
“no, I just want to… I just want to stay like this for a while.”
“okay, ven,” you whisper, soft and quiet, as if your voice could shatter him whole. you pause, thinking of what to say, before you decide that you won’t prode any further, instead bidding him a goodnight. “I love you, venti. get some rest.”
for the first time in maybe months, venti doesn’t tell you he loves you back.
instead he burrows himself as deep as humanly possible, as if being torn away from you would kill him, just like the way his dreams pulled and tugged ruthlessly at his heart strings, shoving images of you with your new 'tutor' down his throat, like they had with him months and months ago.
how cruel is it that he's forced to see you being ripped away from him both in real life and in his dreams?
-----☆
you're half asleep when you feel him mumble into your skin.
"I miss you. I miss this." he whispers, but you can barely hear him. he misses the way you feel, how comforting you smell, how his hands connect with your body like they're puzzle pieces. he misses having all your attention on him like this, so quick to coo and ask if he's okay. everything’s changed from how it used to be.
"what?"
you feel venti's hands slip under your shirt, feeling the warm skin of your back as he slowly trails his hands up and down, basking in the way that you feel. "I miss you, cecilia. especially today." his voice isn't shakey anymore. instead it's much more fluid, as though he never had the night terrors that brought him into your room to begin with. you can't help but frown at his words even in your sleepy state.
"venti..." you mumble out, feeling his hands start to dig themselves into your skin. his grip on your waist is tightー not enough for it to hurt, but just enough that it keeps you from pushing him away if you really wanted to, trapping and suffocating you, bordering the lines of sucking the air out of your lungs.
part of you wishes he wouldn't keep things so bottled up from you, because clearly, your constant 'absence' in his life is hurting him more than you'll ever be able to understand, but the more selfish part of you is shamefully grateful that he is. you love venti, but for a man who constantly champions for freedom, he's always been so dead set on taking away yours.
you know deep down that if you gave venti an inch, he'd take a mile, and you don't have many miles left to give. you could spend twenty-four hours of a day with venti and he would still want you to somehow spend twenty-five on him. as much as you love ventiー truly, you love him more than anything else in the worldー, you know it'd be better if you didn't indulge him as much as you want him to. lord knows how quick venti would be to turn you into a hollow, empty shell of yourself by taking every second you have all for himself if he could.
besides, this whole thing will blow over eventually after the party, right?
right?
"I know that I've already whined and complained about it, but god, I miss you. you were gone for so long today with someone I don't even know… seeing you occasionally here and there isn't enough for me. I..." venti somehow manages to pull his body even closer to you, your chest and his chest plush against each other, so close that you can feel the way it rises as he breathes slowly. "I know I'm selfish, but I need you."
he says the word 'need' as if he'd die without you.
you don't think this is a conversation you two should be having when you're so... out of it, exhausted.
"venti, can we talk about this in the morning?"
his grip slowly loosens. "...okay." he says the word slowly and hesitantly, as if he's a child saying a cuss word for the first time, as if agreeing to put his feelings aside until you're in a much more lucid and conscious state is a sin. "I'm... I'm sorry for bothering you and being so clingy and... I just..." venti swallows thickly. "goodnight," venti mumbles, choosing not to finish his thought.
your eyebrows furrow, something about this whole conversation feeling off to you. never in a million years would venti have been so... upfront, apart from the day he invited you to the party. it's like venti's slowly unraveling like a string, just one little tug away from snapping.
it wouldn't be the first time venti's snapped on you though. you need to mend things and shut off the ticking time bomb before things blow up in your face again, like when you...
like when you...
ugh. you'll think about all of this later when you're actually well-rested and capable of forming cohesive thoughts. you softly mumble out a goodnight to venti as well, praying that the storm will blow off soon enough.
it doesn't, though. the winds only get stronger and louder.
ーーー☆
venti wasn't in your room by the time you woke up. infact, he wasn't in the apartment at all. not in his room, not in the kitchen or in the bathroom getting ready, nowhere. he didn't even leave a text telling you where he went.
you guess that venti needs time to think after last night, and you decide that it's probably for the best.
you'll see him again later anyways.
ーーー☆
it's cold out today, october's chill punishing you for wearing too light of a sweater for the weather, but the freezing temperature of the classroom during today's lecture isn't the cause of the way you squirm in your seat out of discomfort. no, you have professor zhongli to take credit for that.
you're convinced that zhongli gets a kick out of giving you borderline heart attacks.
honestly, that isn't exactly far from the truth. there's something about the way your eyes flicker in complete, utter fear just by him saying, "[name], may you please see me after class? there's something I'd like to discuss with you," that sends shivers down his spine, as egregious as that may sound. it's a shameful feeling for a professor to have, but at least he has much more innocent intentions this time as opposed to the last time he's asked you to stay behind.
the request was given to you right at the start of class (which you were actually on time to, thank god) before he began with his lecture. and once again, you couldn't help but think about just what exactly zhongli wanted to discuss with you throughout the entire lecture, almost too busy coming up with theories to focus. all you can think is, did you do something wrong again? was the assignment you turned in last night bad? all that studying you did with xiao couldn’t have been for nothing, right? you're going to fail the semester at this rate.
you wish zhongli was more dead set on helping you pass like last year than assuring that you failed.
you can’t help but call back to that time. you had been much worse off back then. you were visibly behind everyone else, but it hadn't started that way. so much was happening back then. and that breakup, oh that fucking break up, really made focusing on your school work beyond difficult. you truly did put up a fight, tried to make sure you stayed afloat, and it did work at first. but your responsibilities drowned you completely, and you never really learned how to swim.
it was a rough semester, and one of your classes had been taught by the very same man taking great pleasure in ruining you today. your one saving grace? once again, the very same man, who had seemed to take enough pity onto you that he took matters into his own hands to make sure you did well.
you stood out back then, not because you shone bright, but because you didn't shine at all.
zhongli wanted to light that fire back in you that you had at the start of the year. and he had.
zhongli had took you under his wing, struck you with passion and drive, made you fall in love all over again with the topic you were studying through his ramblings and stories and sheer utter knowledge; he revitalized you, filled a hole. he had kept you after class and in his office on weekends, making time to make sure that you succeeded and through his gentle nurturing that was the hot to his own cold. you had succeeded, to your surprise. and he had looked after you ever since.
it was silly for you to believe that he would grace you with the same mercy this course.
but things are different now. so much more different. you were grateful back then for him striving to push you to do better, but now it's overwhelming. back then, his standards were achievableー finish your assignments on time as often as you could, study a little when you can, at least attempt to attend every class you had. it was doable. but now, now you're almost convinced he wants you to become borderline perfectー no, perfect is an understatement. he wants you to be better than perfect.
perfect, and vulnerable.
back then it felt as though he was trying to help you but now, the back of your mind can't help but tell you that he's always been helping himself, benefiting himself, not you.
it was at the start of this school year that you let yourself fall right into the dragon's lair.
either way, maybe it's the fact that your mind was so occupied, or maybe time simply just decided to speed up, but the class flew by in no time. you had practically tuned out all of zhongli's ramblings and teachings today. you watched zhongli dismiss the class, staying seated despite the way everyone else shuffled out of the door as quickly as possible. once again, it was just you and zhongli in the empty room.
fuck.
zhongli walks to the front of your desk, running a hand through his hair before letting out a long sigh, and you never knew how such a little harmless action could strike so much fear into your heart. could you just combust already? you're not at all ready for whatever zhongli has to say.
"what a long class we had today, hm? I hope I didn't bore you too much. you looked particularly distracted." zhongli says, smiling gently at you as he attempts to brighten the gloomy mood you're clearly in. "luckily, though, I've been excited to talk to you all class. you truly were my saving grace today."
is this some kind of sick joke? you were kidding when you thought zhongli must get pleasure out of your failure, but you might actually be right.
gross.
"don't worry, though, I didn't keep you after class just to complain. I'll get to the point, since I know you hate pointless chatter."
"I know it's far too early to say this, but I'm proud of you, [name]."
that caring nature still shines through, the strict professor he's supposed to be eroded and washed away by time itself.
your eyebrows furrow. "what?" you can’t help but let the word slip out of your mouth in the midst of your confusion.
"the assignment you gave in last night, truly one of your best works this semester. you never fail to amaze me with how fast you manage to make a turnaround when you put your mind to it, [name]."
the assignment? the one you worked on last night at the last second despite having over a week to do it after studying with xiao that you had to keep your eyes pried open to complete? the one xiao had borderline picked apart a dozen times as though trying to break you down even more? that assignment?
what?
"but I... what? if it was any good, it's likely only because xiao was there to help me." you mumble, unsure of your words.
"so? are you really diminishing your accomplishments just because you got a little aid?" zhongli plants a hand on your cheek like he has a dozen times in the past before guiding your face to look up at him. "or are you trying to say that it was xiao who had done your assignment, not you?"
"o-of course he didn't, but-" zhongli is quick to shush you, pressing a gloved thumb against your lips with a soft smile.
"shh. you did well, and that's final. I hope this pattern continues. you know I want nothing but the best for you after seeing what you can achieve." his gloved hand caresses your cheek and you're convinced he can feel the heat your face is producing out of embarrassment even through the layer of fabric. "my little star, you're doing well again." he adds quietly, so quietly that you can just barely make it out, though the nickname is far less shocking than the praise that your brain is still trying to make sense of.
"before I let you go, I just wanted to reiterate that should you ever need my assistance with anythingー and I mean anything at all, whether it's related to your academics or notー know that I am and always will be here."
"I... thank you." it's the only words you can come up with as zhongli leaves you alone with your thoughts. "thank you," you repeat, speaking the words much more quietly. in a hushed whisper.
in the back of your mind, you realize that you should be thinking about how odd it is for zhongli to suddenly be so sugary sweet, how he's touched you so much more intimately than a professor should, how his little nickname for you is weird at best, and yet all you can think about is how he's proud of you.
for some reason, that's all that really matters to you in the moment. you can think about... all that other stuff, later.
ーーー☆
it's almost pitch dark out by the time you finally get home. 
"I'm home!" you shout out as soon as you step through the front door, voice a little breathy after having to climb up a few flights of stairs to get up to your apartment, alerting venti that you've arrived in a way akin to how married couples do. you're quick to lock the door behind you, stripping yourself of your shoes that feel more like weights before placing them in the shoe rack near the door and putting your heavy bag down next to venti's violin case, deciding you'll bother with getting whatever you need out of there when you feel like it. you wince a little at the cold tiles of the floor underneath your feet.
maybe one day you'll move into a place with an actual heater, you think.
"I'll be there in just a second!" venti's voice rings out from what you assume is the bathroom down the hall, likely showering given the pitter-pattering sound of running water. you nod, as though responding to him despite the fact he can't see you, flicking on the light switch to the kitchen as you do so. the kitchen table immediately grabs your attention with how different it looks compared to how you left it this morning. two orange pumpkins sit at the center, and alongside it lays an unopened package of carving tools and another package of tea lights, a brown bag filled with what looks to be some house decor and knick knacks (venti truly does love trying to make your run-down apartment as much of a true home as possible), and a bag of groceries yet to be put away.
you sit down at the medium sized wooden table, allowing yourself to rest and bask in the day as you look through everything infront of you. it's been awhile since you've just sat in silence and thought, and even longer since you let yourself really live in this home without just heading straight to your room. your nails drill against the table, pushing one of the two pumpkins closer to you with a soft hum. you trace a finger against it, imaginging what'd you want to carve on it and how it'd glow after you put a candle inside.
this year you should do something new, get a little more fancier with the design that you have in the previous years that you craved a pumpkin. maybe you and venti will carve matching jack-o-laterns this year. you can't help but smile at the thought.
"they're cute, aren't they?"
you tense up when you feel a hand on your shoulder, but you instantly relax when you turn your head to see venti. you guess you were so lost in thought you hadn't heard him come out of the bathroom. you drink in his presence, giving him a glance over out of instinct. the smell of his apple-cinnamon bodywash assault your senses in an oddly comforting way, a scent that makes you feel right at home. he's in a pair pajamas and cute bunny slippers, and his hair is clipped up in a pretty half up, half down ponytail. the blue dyed tips of his hair are losing their signature color (which is odd, considering that despite his inherit laziness, venti's always been one to make sure those tips stay bright blue at all costs) and his skin looks a little damp.
a gummy smile paints his face, and he has a bit of a playful glint in his eye, but he looks notably tired, and a sense of worry pings at your heart at the sight. you were the roommate notorious for having bags under your eyes afterall, not him, so to see him look so exhausted, especially when venti's always been one for getting his 'beauty sleep,' tells you that venti internally isn't feeling his best. it sounds shallow, judging someone's mental health based on their appearance, but you know venti like the back of your hand, and you know that something's wrong.
even moreso, you know exactly what that wrong thing is, given last night's conversation.
"I got them at the grocery store today. thought it might be fun to carve them together before they go bad. that is, if you want to grace me with your undivided time and attention, of course." venti pretends he's joking, but you know deep down he means the sentiment of wanting you to give him your time for once, and you honestly feel awful at his words. nonetheless, you suck it up, smiling up at him. it's a genuine smile.
"why wouldn't I? it is tradition after all. I'm going to make mine extra scary this year."
venti laughs at your words, his heart internally flutter at the thought of how determined your face would look as you try to create the spookiest jack-o-latern he's ever seen. he leans down, pressing a soft, platonic peck to your forehead, finally giving you a welcome home.
"you're home later than usual again, everything go okay?"
you can't help but notice that venti is acting as if he had never said what he said last night, though the air between you is still awkward and tense, and his face does little to hide the fact that deep down, he's still quelling on the things he spoke about. nonetheless, you decide that that conversation is to be had when venti wants it to happen, knowing full well from years of being his best friend that venti prefers keeping a lighter mood at all costs, so you leave things at that until he's ready to speak about it again.
"yeah, I just thought that I'd try to get some work done while I could at campus," you answer, watching as he nods slowly at your words. you can tell he's fighting back the urge to interrogate you, to ask you if you were with anybody and if you really needed to stay at campus, and anything else he can use as a way to rationalize the fact that he's so clingy. he looks around the room, thinking about what else he could say to make sure the conversation doesn't end prematurely.
"oh! I ordered some takeout a bit before you came home. it's still hot, if you want to eat."
you nod, thanking him, and you can tell he's trying to read you, to figure out just how exactly he can stay with you longer without him bringing up anything you two talked about last night. he stands there, presence lingering as though he has something to say, and yet he chooses not to say whatever's on his mind, instead preferring to pick up the unopened bottle of dandelion wine on the nearby kitchen counter.
"you seem all set. I'll get going now, then. I have an urgent date with a bottle of wine that I can't miss for the world." venti moves quickly to leave as though trying to make sure you don't see through to him, turning his back to you without another word, but he doesn't get too far before he's freezing up at your words.
"you're not gonna stay and chat?" you say instinctively, a little surprised by the fact he was so quick to come and go today. you don't know what it is about today, but the thought of venti forcing himself to go when he clearly doesn't want to pains you. maybe it was last night's conversation, or maybe it's how venti radiates warmth that fights against the biting cold that nips at your skin, or maybe you just miss venti, but you want him here with you.
venti turns around slowly, his voice low as he speaks. "oh..." he starts off, "I thought you would've wanted to eat alone like all the other nights," you almost let out a wince at his words. how long has it really been since you last simply hung out with venti? "do you... want me to stay?" you let out a gentle hum.
"I want you here tonight. I want to talk to you."
"about what?"
you think about everything you'd want to tell venti, and you realize that that's exactly it; you want to tell him everything and anything you can. you want to tell him about your new tutor who turned out to be a lot less scary than you were expecting him to be, or that new coffee shop a friend had told you about that opened up near by that you'd love to tell him about, or how zhongli was actually kind to you today. but you also want venti to tell you everything too, about any escapades he's had recently while drunk or new songs he's written, or even how his classes are going and if he's thinking of going to any other parties soon.
you realize that, as much as you'd hate to admit it to yourself, you miss just being with venti a lot too.
"everything," you finally reply after thinking, grinning up at his hesitant form.
"everything? really? this isn't a ploy to tell me horrific news or to try to get out of going to that party, is it?"
"no, I promise. I'm honestly a bit offended you'd think I'd ever be so cruel as to try to get out of going to such an amazing party," you joke.
venti playfully rolls his eyes at your words, but he can't help the smile that creeps up his face. his smile is bright like a star, warm enough for a planet to survive off of, eyelids crinkling at the corners of his eyes as he puts the bottle in his hand down befofe he pulls up one of the kitchen chairs, the legs screeching against the floor so that he's sitting infront of you. he leans in close to you as though you were about to tell him the greatest story known to man. you can't help but feel warm and fuzzy inside. venti's smile, his real and genuine smile, gives you a feeling like no other. it makes you feel whole, like none of your problems neither exist nor matter and that everything in this world is perfect.
"okay then, dove, tell me everything."
ーーー NEW TEXT MESSAGE ーーー☆
alatus: can you believe it's almost sunday already?
[name]: holy shit, time is going by so fast
[name]: I'm so excited to meet you in person
alatus: I'm excited too.
[name]: I can't believe I've known you for over a year and I'm only going to get to see your face now
[name]: I swear, if you're just some creep...
alatus: I promise I'm not.
alatus: well, maybe.
[name]: ha ha, very funny.
[name]: but seriously, it honestly feels like I've known you for forever.
alatus: maybe you have and you just never noticed
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