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#yas and tori showed up to deliver this episode
cantfindwhoasked · 2 years
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Nobody asked for my SECOND review of Heartstopper: Season 1 *spoilers.... probably*
Okay, look.... I know what you’re thinking... You’ve already done a review of Heartstopper, why are you doing another one? WELL it’s because I’m legit obsessed and have watched it so many times as well as like a billion reaction videos (because obsessed) and have so many things to talk about and now I’m not tired so I’m gonna TALK. This time, though, I’m going to go in an order.  Specifically episode order with (hopefully) minor jumping around. Then I’m probably gonna do a couple more reviews of other things I’ve watched recently after that (but maybe not right after that).  So, hopefully I don’t reiterate things that I’ve already said too much, but here we go... again. 
Meet
So, we start off with an adorable bang.  And by that I mean Charlie Spring just being adorable and as heck. Protecc the boy at all costs. And we start off with the bitch Ben.  Which, he can go jump in a hole.  Not Sebastian.... We love Sebastian.... We LOATHE Ben.  Like I hate him even more than I hate Harry.  Because with Ben it’s emotional manipulation, trauma, cheating, ASSAULT... with Harry it’s homophobia which is still horrible, but like Ben RUINED Charlie and made him think he was worthless and we HATE.  But thankfully we have our trusty golden retriever to try and start putting some pieces of Charlie back together.  I know there is a lot more to Charlie’s story that is explored later in the graphic novel series, but I haven’t read it yet (though they will be delivered to me this weekend, so maybe I will do a book review?), and already I can see that Charlie has been put through the ringer, so we PROTECC.  Anyways, some other things about this episode, the sports ball.  I know very little about sports (nor do I really care that much) but like rugby looks... rough... like I’m supposed to protecc and he be getting beat up on purpose.  But I saw an interview with Joe Locke about the running and he was talking about how difficult filming it was and like RELATABLE.  I can’t run.  I did the throwing stuff in track because running is like asking for me to injure myself. Sports ball is... something... that’s for sure. Also, quick mention of Tao getting Elle’s apple juice cause, AWWWW!!! And can we give a quick round of applause to the MVP of ever, Tori.  That GURL is my queen.  It’s such a simple scene but when he’s telling her about his breakup I always laugh at her “Well done, then.” I, also, adore when Charlie and Nick are talking about saying sorry and Charlie is like “.... I kinda wanna say it.” cause SAME.
Crush
Nick Nelson. Standing up for ya boo before he ya boo is bootiful. And I’m glad to see that we have another person on the PROTECC train. The snow scene is QUITE adorable in this episode.  And you added a dog? Do you want me to have a stroke? Like I feel like that was the goal here.  But, yeah, anyways.  The mario kart thing with the “Shut up!” was really cheesy but I couldn’t stop smiling, so clearly it is good cheese.  Moving on, I really saw how jaded I’ve become from other shows, because I was terrified when Tara and Darcy started becoming friends with Elle, but it simply is just adorable and not a horrible scheme.  Also, I love how good of friends Tara and Darcy are.  Like I know they’re dating, but it’s not like the awkward I like you and we hang out sometimes, it’s fully like you can tell it was a precious friendship before they fell in love and they already had this trust built between them because of it.  Like they are so cute. Next, going back to the bois, we love Isaac.  LOL you didn’t think I was going there, right? It does connect to the bois in question though, because we get the iconic line “I wanna believe in romance!” Because like that’s basically my life motto.  Charlie and Nick are so cute and I wanna believe in them too (in fact, I do believe in them too). Especially the almost hand holding with the animated sparks. ICONIC.  The drum teaching always makes me feel a slight bit awkward, though, because like that is a SMALL stool. But that’s literally the only reason.  Sometimes it’s the small things.  Lastly, My queen. “I don’t think he’s gay.” Legend PERIODT.
Kiss
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. First, I’m so sorry Imogen. She didn’t really do anything wrong.  Like the girl put herself out there, which is more than I can say about a lot of people.  She’s brave and I applaud her.  It sucks that it’s like... not gonna happen... like ever... But like she didn’t do anything wrong.  Then there’s the kisses.  Tara and Darcy are really cute together and I love how happy they look when they kiss.  They are actually so cute. And then Nick and Charlie. Literally one of the best kisses and lead-ups to kisses I have EVER seen.  So damn adorable. And then my poor panicking bisexual boy and my poor child who has done no wrong but thinks he has.  I don’t blame Nick for freaking out.  His who life is just a confusion at that moment.  And it seems like he just says what he says to Harry to get him off his back so he can find Charlie. And NICK ALWAYS MAKES UP FOR IT.  He isn’t perfect, but if he messes up, he makes sure to make up for it, which is SO REFRESHING.  Also, quick mention that Tao is WAY overprotective.  Like I get it to an extent but MAN it’s A LOT. He’s very dramatic and we appreciate him on the PROTECC Squad, but like just take a tiny step back.  Charlie still loves you.  Shoutout to Elle for being his calming force.
Secret
That kiss is epic.  I’ve already talked about it, but like UGH! So cute. Perfect, if you will.  Then poor child has to keep it a secret like with Ben, BUT IT’S NOT LIKE WITH BEN BECAUSE BEN IS AN ASSHAT WITH INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA AND NICK IS LITERALLY JUST SO CONFUSED POOR CHILD! Also, A+ friendship for the friends coming the rugby game.  We love support!!! And Darcy is amazing coming to get acquainted with the local gays LOLLLLL! Speaking of... we have to address it.  Imogen... You kinda dumb.... Still didn’t really do anything wrong, but like... why... why did you talk.... in two ways.  Mostly in the first, because the second was an extension from the last episode in that she can’t help who she likes.  Also, I don’t blame Nick for saying yes.  Should he have? No. But, it was better than completely embarrassing her when the DICKS were watching. And NICK MAKES UP FOR IT CAUSE GOOD GUYYYYY!
Friend
Yet again, Tao is being VERY overprotective.  To the point that.. Yes I get you are trying to be the president of the PROTECC squad, but like... don’t make him sad on his birthday.  I am one who believes that birthday’s should be sacred, so if there is any even slight ruining of a birthday, I get upset.  Again, I see why, but sometimes, it’s a bit much.  Also, Charlie does need to be protected, however, he can still make his own decisions.  Like he’s gonna make mistakes like the rest of us (luckily Nick isn’t one of those) so there is a point where you should just trust him and if things do end up badly, you can be there to pick up the pieces.  I do love Tao, but sometimes... a bit much.  Speaking of Tao, though, this is the first time we see that there are actual feelings in the Elle and Tao situation.  I hope we get another season, because I would love to see that.  Moving on to the birthday boy.  I’m so glad that Nick chose to come to the party (even though it did have some awkward moments) because I just think it was completely adorable.  The best parts were when Nick and Charlie are flirting about Nick’s arms and just the way Charlie cutely says, “Shut up.” And the second adorable part is when Charlie leans closer to Nick and says “No being sad on my birthday.” It makes me chuckle and aww at the same time. And like I said, Nick MAKES IT RIGHT with the Imogen situation.  It’s one thing to say you’re going to make it right and another to actually do it.  Also, just the fact that Imogen makes a playful joke to the friends to get them off of their back really made me feel like the two of them actually were friends.  Like she isn’t as.... Eww as the others even though she’s kind of part of them. 
Girls
I have a MAJOR issue with this episode, for one reason and one reason alone.  That is the milkshake date... So, I played trombone in band growing up - not anymore, I was rubbish and faked it most of the time so they thought I was playing when really I was just trying to hold up the instrument with my weak arms. ANYWAY, I know for a fact that Darcy and Tara play instruments that you have to blow into.  They had AT LEAST 2 milkshakes right before the concert. Like RIGHT before from what I could tell.  And from experience, you should not have sweets or something like a milkshake before you play an instrument that you have to blow into, because then your instrument will not be filled with just hot air, it will be filled with hot sticky air.  Which makes things STICKY! And NOT PLEASANT! That is asking for just not good stuff.  Like don’t! You know how you get that feeling in your mouth when you have dairy stuff too.  THAT’S ALL GOING INTO YOUR INSTRUMENT.  Like don’t eat that close to playing an instrument that you have to blow into!! Charlie is okay because he plays the drums, which, the last time I checked, you don’t have to blow into drums, and Nick, Tao, and Elle are okay because they’re not in band.  But TARA AND DARCY! AAAAAHHHHHHH!  I don’t know why it bothers me so much but it really does. Moving on, Girls are mean sometimes.  I am one.  I know how mean girls are.  ESPECIALLY to other girls. So, I understand Tara being upset because of the whole thing, but thankfully she has Darcy.  Also, I know I hate the milkshake stuff, but that was cute, with Nick telling Elle about him and Charlie and ESPECIALLY the cute adorable weirdness that ensued between Tao and Elle at the beginning.  I LIVED for that.  Since we’re going backwards, lets talk about how cute it was when Charlie got so excited that Nick told Tara and Darcy.  WE LIVE FOR THOSE BEAUTIFUL BOIS.  Is this the episode where Nick finds out he’s bi? If so, then it’s understandable that the Pirates of the Caribbean would show him da way, because like... they hot.
Bully
Bitches. Bitches and bitches. Bitch. Do I really even have to say more? Like Harry is a bitch.  Ben is a Bitch.  I’m not gonna lie though I almost angry laughed when Ben said, “I’m not even gay, I just felt really bad for you.” Cause like uhuh, Yeah... I believe you wink wink. Totally wink wink. Not gay wink wink.... That kid has PROBLEMS.  Thank you Nick for stepping up in the PROTECC Squad once again with Harry and actually punching the SONOFABITCH.  But let’s be real, the second we heard Nick say that Ben and Harry wouldn’t be there, we knew they would.  AND THEN they had the AUDACITY to say “Why is he here?” about Charlie. BITCH I DON’T EVEN THINK YOU WERE INVITED WHY ARE YOU HERE?!? Then we move on to Tao and him finding out that Nick and Charlie are ACTUALLY dating and getting upset.  Then the DICK Harry picks ANOTHER fight and Tao brings the BEAT DOWN. And he was holding his own, so like good on you!! But he’s upset about the whole Charlie not telling him and then says things he doesn’t mean, cause we all knew he would have fought Harry eventually and it wasn’t Charlie’s fault. But Charlie’s in a spiral and has already attempted to break it off with Nick at this point because he thinks it’s what is best for Nick and it just... it just.... doesn’t help anything. 
Boyfriend
There are some MAJOR cheese moments in this episode, but I low key live for them. First, My queen is back at it again with being my queen. “I’m like 95% sure they were both Harry’s fault and I wasn’t even there.” QUEEN.  And the whole “You’re not ruining my life.” WE LOVE SUPPORTIVE SIBLINGS!!!!! WE LOVE SIBLINGS THAT SHOW THEIR LOVE.  HELL YEAH MY QUEEN.  And the teach!! Another MVP! “Don’t let anyone make you disappear.” PREACH! Also, love the announcer.  I believe it was Stephen Fry, but it was hilarious! He said what we all thought.  Moving on to the MAIN EVENT aka SPORTS DAY! Honestly, I’m American.  Sports Day doesn’t exist here, but it sounds horrible.  10/10 would have hated. I love that Charlie switches jerseys and runs for Tao and then they make up which DONT YOU JUST LOVE FRIENDS! It’s actually so cute.  And Charlie stands up to Ben which HELL YEAH!!! Then we have not one but TWO fake outs from Tao and Elle, which *Insert Tao’s RRRRRUDE here*.  Plus the montage of Charlie being a good supportive friend and holding Isaac’s book for him while he javelins. WE LOVE SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS!!! Also, we need more Isaac... Also, Tao needs a haircut... Also... I think that’s it.  And then there is the recreation of the High School Musical 3 scene at the basketball game with my poor sad Nick finally seeing Charlie and being like, no this can’t wait and just running to him.  It was so cute.  Kinda cringe but adorable. Mostly just cringe for the recreation of HSM3 part, because it’s so cute how Nick just doesn’t care and Imogen is just like AWW IT MAKES SENSE THAT’S SO CUTE but with her EYES. But that kiss is INTENSE compared to the others.  Like it had PURPOSE.  It was a callback to the second (third?) kiss but like very effective. And then the beach and THE PICTURES!!! SO DAMN CUTE.  The cringey ocean yelling that was also cute while being cringey and then THE MOMENT. Olivia Coleman is a legend.  She is just so amazing and the coming out scene was absolutely perfect.  
Overall I can’t help but be obsessed.  I get this way sometimes.  I just love love OKAY?!? This was a much more comprehensive view of the entire season for me, episode by episode. I may not do it like this all the time, but probably definitely for my obsessions. The cast was amazing and from what I’ve heard, this is very true to the original story (which I will be reading soon) which is very exciting.  From what I’ve seen the cast is not only just straight (lol) up really good, they also even look like their characters.  It’s just so good and deserves a second season.  What else can I really say....
I want more Isaac and Tori.  
That’s what I can say. 
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Howcumzit?: The Outlaws
How come despite all the references to Covid, nobody’s wearing masks, even in a government building?
I mean, this one’s rhetorical, neither TV nor film has the guts to do something where everyone’s face is covered. Especially when they’ve sent away to America to get in that Christopher Walken.
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How come they never recapture the tension of YA protagonist Rani needing to walk through a metal detector with a gun?
In isolation, that must sound very silly - top that, that’s a tall order. But the show doesn’t manage to make any amount of threat to life, limb, or dignity carry the same white-knuckle air as that one bit.
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How come Myrna’s trying to push her generic Bristol hippy collective to be more militant, when in the last episode we get that reveal that she deeply, deeply regrets the militancy of her younger days?
We see her hovering around a vaguely merry-pranksters level, towing away a police static caravan, so she’s obviously not violent militant any more, but is that down to a lack of means and opportunity? I mean, what does she want? All told, I suspect I have the same issues with a lot of real people who are chasing the dream of smashing the state, but gently.
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How come the street gang have a gun, but never actually use it themselves?
There’s bound to be a joke to make of saying ‘you call that a knoife?’ when we actually see them tooled up.
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How come John, as righty yin to Myrna’s lefty yang, gets a greater share of the actually funny lines?
Again, rhetorical, I already know the answer to this one. Why do you need to be funny when you’re right? To quote one S. Lee, ‘was it funny? No, but I agreed the fuck out of it’.
Perhaps there’s less in it than I think. John’s always the sap, but then as politics goes Myrna often is too, the bit where she alienates her sister’s walking group by banging on about the Tories certainly rings some bells - but she’s not really the one delivering the jokes there.
Was there an early draft where they got together? Perhaps I’m just extrapolating from them warming to each other as time goes by, but the show makes Myrna pointedly single, and John’s wife could come or go from the equation basically harmlessly - that is, could have been a retrospective addition...wait, good Lord, I’m accidentally shipping it.
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How come Ian McElhinney can’t be a witheringly scornful auld da in everything? Oh, he was quality at that in Derry Girls too.
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How come Stephen Merchant wrote his own character having a rival who’s stout, black-haired, very pleased with himself, and thinks obscenity is a substitute for wit, and didn’t just call the character ‘Fuck you Ricky, suck my fucking dick, you’re not as clever as you think you are and the applause of all those Americans won’t keep you warm on your deathbed’?
As if to really give the game away, this whole dynamic takes place at The Office.
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How come the ending wraps up quite so quickly?
My American followers will be going ‘because you blokes can’t do a seventh episode, ho ho ho’, and they’re not wrong there. It’s not an aggressive cram-it-all-in, but it’s hard not to notice it simply shedding plotlines in the last few minutes.
Ben and Christian’s stuff was probably best cut off where it was, lest the rough, tough British gangland stuff take over the whole show - and in the face of that little existential victory there, I suppose the other stuff does all pale a bit. My format obviously runs directly up against this. ‘How come the cops don’t keep looking into the money’, ‘how come the stuff with Merchant’s character isn’t resolved’, ‘how come Lady Penelope turns into a glorified extra’, blah blah blah. No, one good happy ending, pop, uplifting montage to see us out. Don’t you forget about me, and so forth.
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