#yeah 👍 crisis averted

[haemosexuality]

marceline has the best drip in adventure time so i decided i want to, draw all her looks ig. or at least all the ones i like. im excited to see how many i do before giving up (part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5)

[nomaishuttle]

i need 2 more interests.. guys what am j even interested in

[frogb]

on my 2nd glass of milk tonight is Not Going Well 😢

[jiminrings]

SINGLE DAD TAEHYUNG! DILF TAEHYUNG! WE NEED MORE DILF TAEHYUNG!!!!!

DA DILF TAEHYUNG AGENDA EXACTLY 👍 can be connected to this drabble!!!

“this feels like a trap.”

namjoon is the first one to say and his candid statement immediately gathers support from the other guys

he says it while he’s laying on the biggest beach towel he’s ever seen in his life, with an ice-cold four seasons-flavored drink in his hand with the little umbrella, rearranging the limited edition cap on his head even if he’s underneath the biggest and coziest beach canopy he’s seen in his lifetime

“this can’t not be a trap,” jimin huffs with a mouthful of watermelon before setting his spoon down on a new plate that he surprisingly didn’t bring home from an aircraft, wiping his mouth as he feels the cool metal of his designer silver cuban chain link bracelet on his chin

“for sure. taehyung pretends like he doesn’t have a single thought nor intention behind those eyes.”

seokjin snickers, reapplying his spray-on sunscreen that’s surprisingly not expired, adjusting his brand-new designer sunglasses on his nosebridge before sipping his margarita and not having to worry about mosquitoes because there’s a zapper in the table nearby

“just makes you wonder what’s going on with him.”

hoseok sighs, eating from a charcuterie board he swears up and down that he still finds overrated (there is truly no sense behind cheese and crackers and raw meat on a wooden board), fetching a towel from his newly gifted luxury duffel bag he decided to bring to the beach

all of this.,..

literally ALL of this,,, every single new piece that they all received from taehyung feels like a trap

like even the concept of taehyung just setting up a beach day for them and even giving gifts out of nOWHERE is very thought-provoking

“i have no ulterior motive!!! can’t i just take out my closest friends in the world?”

tae exclaims, shaking his head to himself

“world!!!”

nabi repeats with the giddiest tone anyone could ever attach to a single world, instantly getting coos from his dad and uncles

crisis averted <3

oh yeah that reminds them ://

the guys need to put world peace on their list!! anything for this cute chunky monkey!!

“sounds disgusting and cheesy but i just want to treat you all since you’ve all been working very hard,” tae tries to explain and he shudders at his sweetness, “also because you’ve been very patient that i haven’t found a job yet!!!”

“we’re also patient with you being a former trustfund baby and therefore forgetting to close the fridges or you know, gagging when we tell you to wash the dishes,” jin nonchalantly adds

“and because you like randomly throwing nabi in the air and give us heart attacks in the process.”

“or falling asleep in the living room couch, even when you have the biggest room in the house, and that means we can’t watch tv because we unfortunately respect your sleep.”

“also because we let you decorate the house in three separate occasions with our money but they each barely lasted a day because you hated it.”

okay okay jEEZ

this is not comedy central omg why is he being roasted!!! in his own trip that he planned and executed quite perfectly!!!

“whew okay alright!! ganging up on me now, huh? thank you, you all just reminded me to teach nabi about the importance in avoiding cliques.”

://

they collectively reacted in offense to tae, speaking over each other, the general theme being “oHHHHH he’s really pulling that now huh???”

“go ahead, tell him that i ate his snacks! i’m sure nabi’s still on my side. right, monkey?” taehyung cockily shakes his head, hand reaching to rub his son’s fluffy hair

???

wait a second

“NABI????”

taehyung shoots out from his chair and hurriedly walks out of the canopy, his four equally-as-panicked best friends darting out in search of the dumpling

he’s two now and he’s more adventurous, especially when it comes to using his quiet tiny little feet to walk by himself

taehyung’s heart is beating so fast but ir becomes even faster when he sees his curious dumpling near the water!!!

as in nEAR the water :O

alright :(( the waves aren’t cooperating :((

they’re pretty tame and as much as you enjoy paddling, you were looking forward this morning to actually surf because you were expecting big waves!! even waxed your surfboard all thoroughly

your wetsuit’s tightly clinging to you and your chest would want to breathe pls and thank you <3 which is why you unzip it in your chest area until you could audibly hear your boobs sigh out loud

you prefer taking off your leash when you’re still in water, as long as it’s shallow just to be sure, because walking in hot sand while chained to your surfboard that’s bigger than life is definitely not ideal

you sit on the part of the sand where the waves crash against and make quick work in removing the leash from your ankle, taking out your hairtie while at it because your hair drying up with saltwater wHILE it’s up </3 a nightmare actually

you’re catching a breather when you hear the pitter-patter of tiny footsteps beside you, an immediate coo leaving your lips

but at the same time it’s pANIC because the cutest child you just saw does not seem to stop walking into the water

“uh-uh! pretty sure you can’t swim yet, nemo.”

you immediately stand up and hold him still by his shoulders, his wide and curious eyes looking up at you

his tiny blue crochet bucket hat is what captures your attention, the character of nemo sewed right in the middle

.... is it bad that you want his bucket hat for yourself

“water!!! :-)”

the toddler points excitedly at what’s beneath his feet, giving you a feeling that he’s such a happy kid

“that’s correct!! it’s water!!!” you coo back at him, “but let’s go back, alright? you can’t swim alone.”

you pick him up because he gives no sign of budging when you try to coax him out of the water by gently pulling on his shoulder

you’re pleasantly surprised when he doesn’t resist you carrying him, in fact, he even holds on to your arms and tilts his head curiously yet with no fear

taehyung has never ran faster in his life actually

within a second, there’s a panting man in front of you, his hands on his knees and ever so often raising his finger to give him a second

alright lol you’re giving him a second

the guy in question finally straightens his posture and you’re positive that you’ve never seen a man that’s this handsome in real life

taehyung’s equally as shocked to see such gorgeousness in front of him????

also his eyes immediately wandered and he pretends to have never seen your cleavage nor your curves in your wetsuit

he did not mean to sTARE!!!! maybe this is just a side effect of his lasik surgery <4

“is he your kid?”

you ask him sincerely, puttting your hand over your eyes as shade to see him better

“yeah, i’m his dad. sorry for troubling you, he’s at that age where he likes walking in stealth and forgets that he’s in a new environment!!!”

he outstretches his hands to take nabi from your arms but he tilts his head when you slightly angle your body farther from him

“are you sure?”

you squint your eyes and there’s an evidently playful and teasing smile on your face

taehyung actually laughs but decides to humor you, his heartbeat finally calming down

“of course!! nabi, smile at the pretty lady for appa, will you?”

nabi, who you made the decision to call nemo on your mind officially starting thirty seconds ago, smiles

he grins so hard and it resembles the boxy smile that his dad is now sporting at the same time, their uncanny resemblance deepening even further

“okay,” you hum contently even if you already believed him from the start, “pretty lady believes that you’re little nemo’s dad.”

well aren’t you a cute one

“that would be marlin, although it sounds pretty ancient.”

the two of you (excluding nabi) are cLUELESS to the mini audience aka tae’s friends who all had mini heart attacks when they didn’t see nabi in their canopy awhile ago

they’re trying to OHHHHHHHH to themselves because wow that is smooth

jimin was about to pat tae’s back but he’s held back because they all forgot that they were not supposed to even be present at this situation

“i’m taehyung, nabi’s dad.”

he holds out his hand — his thick, veiny, muscular-looking hand for you to shake and he doesn’t miss the way you look at it a second longer

“i’m y/n, pretty lady.”

you shake his hand and you don’t miss the way taehyung presses his tongue to his cheek, eyes not-so-smoothly looking at you from top to bottom

his son particularly doesn’t like being excluded which is why he puts his hand on top of the both of yours :-)

“i’m nabi!!!!!!”

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Casey

Janis: Alright

Janis: Jimmy said you might wanna walk some dogs for some extra cash?

Janis: Thought I better check he weren’t chatting shit

Casey: Did he, sounds like him

Casey: 1st I’ve heard, but I’ll do it if you’re asking

Janis: 🙄 He was meant to, must’ve forgot

Janis: anyway, it won’t be a long-term thing but I’ve knackered my ankle so long enough it’ll be worth doing

Casey: be about right, yeah 🙄

Casey: heard about that an’ all 😏 he must’ve forgot how to catch a lass when she’s falling while he were at it

Janis: 🤦🏽‍♀️ weren’t at all humiliating 

Janis: only our crap school would plan this trip in December, it was basically frosted over

Janis: anyway, cheers, yeah, I’ll let him sort the cash out with ya, but let me know if he tries to shortchange you, like 

Casey: gutted for you it’ll be a bit before get chance to do owt to top it, if my year’s even allowed back there now, that is 💔

Casey: you’re alright, he ain’t THAT forgetful he don’t know what’d happen if he tried that bollocks on with me 💪😉🥊

Janis: 😏 I wouldn’t count on it, Burke had one of her infamous mental breakdowns so they’ll act like that was on us and not her mess of a life

Janis: but maybe they’ll have sorted a slightly more decent trip by the time you’re meant to go, dedicated as they are…

Janis: Ha, good stuff 👏

Casey: I’d have counted on that from her, like, she’s never not the one 🥃 away 

Casey: did reckon it might’ve just been the effect I had though 👎

Casey: steady on, it ain’t too impressive, our kid could probably knock him out if he were in the mood and you definitely could do 

Janis: Soz, she can shout a big game about it being all our fault but reckon the cheating husband had her fucked before any kid forgetting their homework 

Janis: 😂 he did protect me and the gingerbread house pretty well so I’ll take your word for it, yeah

Casey: Nowt to do with her being the dickhead who’s gotta teach paddy lingo and us lot all being well rude about all the culture she’s chucking in with it, got top craic, her, don’t we know

Casey: til he forgets your anniversary or whatever, won’t be all talk then, will you, and Jim’ll have to watch himself 😂

Janis: regretting all her life choices from the off

Janis: You have to do Irish? That’s a pisstake, like

Janis: but obviously, 1000% that bitch, how’d you know

Casey: would be and would have to if it weren’t piss easy to get her to send me out, but don’t reckon I really have to tell you owt on the subject of none of that, from what else I’ve heard you’re like 😏👏

Casey: that’s how I know all sorts, never off people’s 👅 your name, mate

Janis: Good to know people don’t chat shit 100% of the time then

Janis: you can probably disregard the rest though 👍

Casey: Have to now you’ve gone and got yourself with that twat, rather catch deafness than 👂 every other going about giving him the 👏 for it  

Janis: 😬 someone will get off with someone else soon and they’ll move their 👅 and 👏 along

Casey: I dunno about that, but 🤞 for you moving on to less of a knobhead

Janis: I’m not gonna crash your gaff constantly or be all up in your face

Janis: fuck all I can do about the rumour mill though, or I would’ve ages ago for myself, like

Casey: what the last one said, but alright

Janis: Yeah, alright, you got no reason to believe me 

Casey: and you’ve got no reason to give me one, only your 💰

Janis: Fair

Janis: he’s got the schedule

Casey: Long as he’s not already lost it

Janis: If it’s got a load of other dickhead’s names on it, it’s his CG one

Casey: it’ll be what he’s drawn over both of ‘em I don’t wanna see

Janis: [send him what you sent Jimmy re. your schedule like there you go then lol crisis averted]

Casey: tah

Janis: Backatcha 

Casey: It’s nowt, got a dog no fucker but me walks anyway

Janis: Far as gifts go, one that keeps on giving 💩💩

Casey: least we can breed off it with your connections, start a farm or something

Janis: 😆 all the owners are rich dickheads, they’d catch wind and want their cut 

Casey: is probs how they stay rich, bit unfair to us but 

Janis: guess I respect the hustle

Janis: they need some dickhead to walk their unloved dogs, I need their cash

Janis: when I’m not out of commission 

Casey: too right you do, his tips ain’t gonna keep you nowt except 🤏 fuming he bothered spending ages making coffee for dickheads for it only to come to that, lucky if he can shout you a single 🥃 in this town

Janis: So nightmare golddigger is the new one? Interesting 🙄😏

Janis: reckon I’d probably set my sights higher if I were but can’t ask ‘em for logic

Casey: up to you to work out he don’t got owt else to offer in your own time and how many drinks you’ll need to put up with him

Janis: I know better than to get involved with sibling shit, got too many of my own, unfortunately 

Casey: I’d 👍 but nah, that has gotta do your head in

Janis: yeah but too late to sterilize her so I just do my best to avoid them

Casey: have a go speaking a language they can’t, works with getting Bob out my face

Janis: keep it in mind

Janis: failing that I’ll deafen myself, block out their bullshit 🤷🏽‍♀️

Casey: if you’ve not proper pissed the bed with Burke, could get her doing both in one

Janis: didn’t piss in no one’s bed, if that’s going about

Janis: just tried to help her with her sobriety by relieving her of some of her stash, so yeah, if she can keep it together to work it out she might have some shit to spray at us

Casey: Ain’t what you call a good time, I’ll let the chattiest dickheads know

Casey: too much of a 😇 you, saving her falling off the wagon same time as having to yourself that assault course

Janis: Sure Jimmy will, not exactly the kinda thing he’ll want going about either 

Janis: have time to work on my legal case now, I guess 👌 

Casey: yeah, don’t worry, not like he’s known for 🤐 or owt

Janis: I have met him, like 😏

Casey: He never did or said nowt for Hayley when they were having a go at her, there were loads of that before you met him he’ll be chuffed you don’t have no clue about 

Janis: reckon I’ll survive without the rescue, we’re alright

Janis: He can keep his secrets

Casey: you said it, you’ve met him, ain’t a lot else you can do

Janis: Tah for the concern

Janis: people said shit before yous got here and they’ll say it after, nothing I ain’t used to or got a handle on

Casey: You’re alright, I ain’t scared to show when I’m bothered how he is, don’t need to shrug it off to look 😎 now you’re chatting to me

Janis: you’re funny, give you that

Casey: it’s going about when they can get a word in that ain’t about you pair

Janis: worse reps to have, should be alright

Casey: I know, seen his before you did the saving

Janis: Not gonna be cringe and say it’s mutual or something

Casey: 😏 both know why

Janis: dunno about that, like 

Casey: ask your ankle

Janis: nah that was my bad

Casey: What were it you said about having no reason to believe you

Casey: ‘cause we’re back there again, soz, like

Janis: 😏 bit harsh you reckon he had reason to push me 

Casey: had loads more to catch you and never, reckon it’s more than a bit rude, that

Janis: very chivalrous 😆

Casey: least you can do for a lass you like

Janis: I’ll let him know

Casey: he should do already, dunno what he’s pissing about at if he don’t 

Janis: maybe it ain’t that deep

Casey: maybe, he does have reason for it not to be

Janis: yeah, don’t worry, I know you’re probably moving soon

Casey: chuffed for you he’s bothered telling you that much

Janis: 🤞 for you there’s not another annoying bitch in the next town

Casey: ‘course there will be, can’t help himself, him

Casey: and you’re such an upgrade on her his next pick can only go back downhill 

Janis: take the 🥇 ‘fore you can tell me otherwise, cheers

Casey: go on, I’ll let you have it now since you ain’t got the ages you’d need to change my mind to 💭 you’re a nightmare

Janis: makes a change so not gonna try and 🔁

Casey: I know what you mean

Janis: well you’re alright with me

Casey: have a word with the dogs for us then, put a good one in

Janis: ‘course 😅

Janis: I’ll let you know which ones are bastards, so you keep ‘em on the lead 

Casey: Wait til the rumour gets about I’ve got loads of bitches well trained, I’ll have my own 🥇 

Janis: yeah no lie 😂

Casey: let me know who you’re related to so I don’t take the wrong lasses out when I’m dead popular

Janis: 😏 nothing like your brother, nah?

Janis: I’ll find time to make that list, like, don’t go too ↗️ yet

Casey: my top qualities MIGHT’VE rubbed off on him, a bit, ‘cause he’s always hanging about 🏠 when he ain’t serving ☕️

Janis: you didn’t learn it all from him then? 🤔 alright

Casey: nah, already worked out myself putting a spoon of instant in a mug’ll do if you’re that knackered before school, don’t need his help

Janis: I’m not a customer, have to have that argument with my sister

Casey: alright, I’ll sort her out for you 💪😉🥊

Janis: wouldn’t be a fair fight

Janis: on her part though so I ain’t led you astray here

Casey: I don’t mind if you don’t

Janis: Reckon Jimmy might have something to say about that

Casey: you sure you’ve met him

Janis: just a few times

Casey: be like him to get chatty in the PE cupboard

Janis: 🤦🏽‍♀️

Casey: yeah, does take the piss out of you and your 🥇

Janis: you should probably be taking the piss out of him, not me

Janis: if that’s how brothers go about it, not certain, like

Casey: I have

Janis: should’ve guessed that, actually 

Casey: what, from him 😭

Casey: how would you, he don’t do nowt else, you’ve gotta be used to it

Janis: no 😏

Janis: I’d say it’s a fair shout from how you seem, you like a wind-up

Casey: So you have heard about me, should’ve said it were mutual, nowt cringe about that 

Janis: A bit, he’s not totally 🔇

Casey: massive shame, ain’t it

Janis: 🤫

Casey: As it’s you telling me to

Janis: that kinda shit will get you far, undoubtedly 

Casey: yeah 

Janis: Not that I’d recommend it, but if you wanna get bitches

Casey: go on, give me your recommendations, you’ve gotta now

Janis: well, I ain’t trying to get bitches, that rumour was not one of the legit ones

Janis: you should be alright without my help though

Casey: Can’t blame nobody for thinking it, Jim does act like a girl

Janis: he don’t look like one and that’s what they’re all 👀 so

Casey: if all you’re bothered about is he don’t wear a skirt to school, I’ll tell my dad tah for you when he gets off work

Janis: Be a good first impression, tah so much 😏

Casey: he’ll not let you come round and meet him, have to do a Hayley and invite yourself with suitcases if that’s what you’re after

Janis: keep my luggage to myself and your sofa free, honest

Casey: More room for dad’s missus, she’ll be chuffed to bits even if nobody else is

Janis: 😬 been there

Janis: can give her the warm welcome you might’ve reserved for me, yeah

Casey: steady on, she ain’t nowt like you

Janis: I’d hope she’s got at least a few years on me, cheek

Casey: years, chins, wrinkles

Janis: 😂 a catch then

Casey: he’s done better, and worse, an’ all

Janis: get it, no one’s getting attached, barely them

Casey: weren’t that attached to my mum, just how he is, not owt personal to [whatever the girlfriend’s actual name is because he’s not calling them all Sharon like his brother does]

Janis: my mum’s the same

Casey: mine weren’t, made her fuming

Janis: Probably fair, I dunno

Casey: not gonna get chance to meet her either

Janis: no

Janis: not a parent pleaser anyway

Casey: that’ll be why he likes you, not got the balls to not be himself

Janis: have to ask him

Casey: be a right laugh for you, that

Janis: him more like

Janis: psychotic moves

Casey: he answered any question you’ve asked yet

Casey: ‘cause he don’t if he can help it, you might’ve noticed

Janis: can’t blame him, don’t it do your head in how everyone 💬s

Casey: it’d wind me up more to be in my own head much as he’s in his

Janis: I see that, too

Casey: don’t the quiet do your head in

Janis: sometimes

Janis: I just piss off when something does me though

Casey: to where

Janis: wherever I can 🏃🏽‍♀️

Casey: I get that 🚴

Casey: can’t get far right now though, need a new one for christmas, one I’ve got’s knackered

Janis: Nice

Janis: my sister is always doing shit to mine, if it ain’t in bits it’s always on the horizon 

Casey: have to get her to have a look at mine

Janis: She would, she’s an apprentice mechanic so worth a shout

Janis: even if santa brings you that new one, like

Casey: Oi, don’t be bringing that 🎅🏻 dickhead into this, had enough of him, me

Casey: Bob won’t shut up about what he’s after

Janis: 😆 bless him

Casey: won’t listen to me that he’s not real, is he deaf or what, pisstake it is

Janis: Have to get you to talk to my niece 

Janis: still adding to her list like there’s time to go get her more 

Casey: lasses know they can get away with being spoilt

Janis: She certainly does 🙄😏

Casey: she didn’t learn it off you, nah

Janis: Touche 👏

Casey: Reckon I’d keep up with you alright 🏃

Janis: With my dodgy ankle, perhaps 😉

Casey: funny

Casey: I don’t 🚬 much as him

Janis: have a job to

Casey: I’d have to have a job to afford to

Janis: Not really what the dog walking was for but I can’t tell you what to do with it 

Casey: Can try if you fancy it, both my 👂s work and you might have some top ideas

Janis: Awkward I can’t think of anything family-friendly and wholesome to suggest

Janis: what do you like doing?

Casey: never said it had to be

Casey: but I’m a typical lad if you can remember what one of ‘em is

Janis: If I’m turning you off from smoking, not gonna turn you onto something worse, be a bit of a dick move 

Janis: but I’m familiar 

Janis: 👟👟?

Casey: Far as what’s worse, depends who you ask, don’t it

Janis: wasn’t gonna be crack, any rate

Casey: gutted, I’d heard it were dead good, probs those same dickheads who reckoned you’re a massive lesbian chatting more bollocks

Janis: Anyone reckoning I got those connections is behind on their current affairs, soz

Casey: ain’t they all, must be loads happening getting ‘em to lose track

Janis: some of ‘em surprisingly dedicated to keeping up to date, just not getting their facts straight 

Casey: not that different here then, alright

Janis: sadly not

Janis: let you know if I ever find a place that is

Casey: can also be mutual, if you want 

Janis: I’ll wait for the postcard when yous fuck off then 

Casey: I’ll write it well neat, you can show it round, gonna miss Lucas that much when I do go

Janis: Who wouldn’t

Casey: his missus or mrs, whichever he’s got

Janis: 😂 like that there’s a distinction, missus under 16 or?

Casey: don’t have to be, except in his case

Casey: just less serious, like you and my brother right now vs him and his ex before

Janis: gotcha

Janis: very Northern

Casey: Won’t have time to lose it 

Janis: least you’re not posh English, be a really, really shit time otherwise

Casey: shit enough any road, but I’d hate to sound same as him about it

Janis: you’d be weird if you weren’t having a shit time, I reckon

Casey: tah for reckoning I’m not, very matey of you

Janis: my award-winning charm, obviously

Casey: a fair shout for how you are

Janis: alright, don’t come for my bit, kid

Casey: Don’t call me kid, love

Janis: ✋ okay, okay, no patronising language 

Casey: what’s he call you 🤔

Janis: He pretends he don’t know my name, that’s his bit 

Casey: a new one, must be at least pretending to like you

Janis: Tah! 😂

Casey: if you’d rather he reused pet names of hers, just give him time

Janis: inevitable, ain’t it

Janis: only so many 🤢 ways we can cringe everyone out

Casey: I dunno, not had a go yet

Janis: wouldn’t rush

Casey: did try and warn you he weren’t worth it

Janis: oi

Janis: just avoiding calling you a kid again

Casey: yeah, ‘course you are

Janis: I’m very friendly, tah

Casey: and he ain’t, exactly what I’m going on about, mate

Janis: not let the 😒 fool me

Janis: he’s a good brother, ain’t he

Janis: much better than I am sister or anything

Casey: Top if you’re asking the other

Janis: soz, that ain’t my business, just ignore that

Casey: it ain’t a secret, they’re bestest mates, we’re not

Janis: I just realised how much it’d do my head in to have a stranger telling me how great one of my sisters or brothers was if I didn’t wanna hear it

Janis: not that much of a dickhead, honestly

Casey: worse you could be telling me as far as what you reckon to him

Janis: never meant to keep you this long anyway, just checking you wanted to do it and saying thanks, you can tell me to piss off now

Casey: I get it, you don’t wanna tell me to, am actually that great, me

Janis: You’d probably take offence to cocky little shit, yeah? 😜

Janis: you’re doing me a favour, serious though

Casey: less of the little and it’s a compliment

Janis: ahh, dunno if I can bring myself to write that then

Casey: Jim never could take ‘em, you’ll have got out the habit, it’s alright

Casey: what did you say, no rush, yeah

Janis: funny, I remember saying

Casey: 😏 it’ll do  

Janis: You’ll have to take it ‘cos that’s my goodwill for the day gone, I reckon

Casey: in a bit then, mardy 

Janis: 👋

[unyanizedcatboys]

NVM NVM GOGOANIME HAS IT CRISIS AVERTED SORRY FOR THE ASK SPAM 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

it’s fine, and yeah make sure you use their official site not those weird clone ones, i know bc i’m in their discord :3