#yeah I have no clue what I want to say actually
myoongiverse16 · 3 days
I love you
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A/N: Thank you guys so much for answering my poll. 🙏 I hope you guys enjoy! 😊
Summary: As the Batch explores Pabu, you and Omega grow closer. Hunter thinks about new beginnings, and Omega reflects on her relationships.
Genre: More tooth-rotting fluffff, teensie bit of angst
Warnings: It’s another tear-jerker, Omega continually being absolutely adorable
Mando’a key: haran: hell
As the Marauder landed on the foreign planet, Omega grabbed your hand eagerly to be the first one out of the ship and into the new territory. 
“C’mon Y/N!” She yelled as she pulled you with her. Phee walked close behind, chuckling at the child’s eagerness. 
“I’m glad you’re excited, kid. You’re gonna love it.” Phee added with a half smile. She nodded at you and walked down the ramp first. 
You examined the bright blue sky and heard the waves of water close by. You admired the architecture of the platform as you began to walk behind Phee with Omega’s hand in yours. You looked down at her and smiled, seeing her wide eyes filled with curiosity and wonder. 
You and the batch continued to walk until you came upon a large tree. It was a magnificent sight, the tree towering over you in all its glory. 
You noticed two individuals walking your way, a child and a tall man with his arms outstretched. You listened intently as the man introduced himself to be the Mayor and that the young girl was his daughter.
You smiled at the girl, who smiled back. Omega seemed quite fond of her and you could tell they would be good friends already. You felt a hand on your shoulder, you looked to your right to see Hunter grinning at you. You grinned back. 
“What do you think?” You whispered to him. He sighed. 
“I think this place is amazing, but I don’t really want to admit it yet.” He whispered back with a smirk as he nodded his head towards Phee. You nodded your head understanding what he was saying. 
There have been way too many times when you’ve let your guard down and things have gone to haran. Hunter knew this and knew to be more cautious when in a new environment. So, even if this place seemed like paradise, keeping a look out until you knew for sure that it was safe was the plan for now.
The group seemed to split up as you were dragged by Omega to say hello to her new found friend and Hunter went to talk to the Mayor. And Tech found someone new, but it was of no surprise to you. 
You could tell the first time Phee said, ‘brown eyes’ that she had the hots for him. Tech, well, he’s Tech. He probably has no clue she’s flirting, but he’ll catch on. Eventually. 
You introduced yourself to the child, who you now knew was named Lyana. Omega continued to hold your hand which made Lyana curious as to what you were to her. She tilted her head and smiled.
“Are you her mother?” This made your eyes widen. 
I mean sure, you were somewhat of a “motherly figure” to Omega. Being as you were the only female in the batch at the moment. But, never have you actually used the title. It’s not like Omega would call you mom on a regular basis. This was new. And you had no idea what to reply. You stood frozen. 
That is until, Omega saved the day. She cleared her throat and smiled up at you.
“Yeah, she is.” You shook your head, getting out of your trance as you looked down at Omega with her wide smile and precious eyes. You were on the verge of tears, but held it in to prevent the embarrassment of crying in front of a child you just met. You nodded your head at said girl and she smiled. 
“That’s wonderful!” Then her shoulders slumped ever so slightly. “You’re lucky Omega. I wish my mom was here.” You and Omega’s eyes were saddened. Omega looked up at you and pouted. You frowned and knelt down to Lyana’s level.
You placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, she looked up at you curiously. 
“I don’t know the whole story, but I’m very sorry for your loss.” Lyana smiled gratefully.
“Thank you.” You stood up and Lyana composed herself. “My mother passed away a few years ago. But seeing you two together reminded me of her and how much I love her.” She grinned, you and Omega smiled back.
While this beautiful moment was happening. Hunter was having a little heart to heart with the Mayor. 
“Pabu is a great place to rejuvenate, we also consider it a safe haven.” Hunter nodded his head along to what the Mayor was saying.
“Most of this island is composed of refugees, is it not?” The Mayor nodded his head.
“You are quite correct. The refugees have found this a safe place to raise their children as well.” He said, motioning his head towards you and Omega. “You and your wife would find that it is the perfect place for you to raise your child. A place where she can roam free without care. A place where she can actually be a child.” Hunter watched you and Omega. 
He had longed for a place to settle down with you and Omega. A place where Omega could have a childhood, a place where you two could be together and raise her together. 
Hunter was snapped out of his thoughts as the Mayor placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. 
“From a father to a father,” he paused and smiled. “I believe this place will be perfect for your family.” 
Hunter’s eyes widened slightly at his statement. Mostly because he hadn’t realized that was what you were to him. A family. Hunter never had that. He probably guessed the same went for you as well.
He looked at you and Omega again and smiled. Seeing Omega’s hand in yours, the smiles on both your faces. The love he could feel that you had for her, as if she was your own. The love that he had for the both of you, clarified how much he had dreamed for a place like this. 
He turned to the Mayor and nodded his head.
“Thank you,” he paused. “I’ll take it into consideration.” The mayor smiled then walked towards the others. 
“C’mon everyone, follow me.” Everyone followed the Mayor and later found out he was holding a big feast for your arrival. 
During the feast, you couldn’t help but look at Omega fondly as she conversed with her new found friend. When she asked to go with Lyana on her boat, you were surprised Hunter allowed her to.
Being as though, he is very overprotective and cautious. You couldn’t help but be shocked that he agreed without hesitation. You looked at him with a raised brow. He looked at you and shrugged. You squinted your eyes and went back to eating. 
Whilst this was happening, Omega was giddily following Lyana down to the shore below. She was beyond ecstatic that Hunter let her go have fun with her new friend. 
As they sat admiring the island and the water around them, Omega’s mind wandered back to the previous conversation she had with Lyana and you. 
Were you really her mom? She would love it if you were, and it seemed you would feel the same way. But, she wasn’t too sure. You hadn’t labeled it. Today was actually the first time she had called you that. But she did like the sound. Mom and you, just made sense in her head. 
“You seem distracted,” Lyana commented, breaking the silence. Omega turned her head towards her. She sighed. 
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Lyana smiled. 
“Is something wrong?” Omega immediately shook her head. 
“No, I was just thinking.” Lyana nodded her head.
“You wanna talk about it?” Omega played with her fingers. 
“Well, okay.” Lyana grinned. Omega scooted closer to her. She explained her situation and your relationship with her. Lyana nodded her head along. When Omega finished, Lyana pursed her lips.
“I don’t know much. But from my experience, the way she held you and looked at you, it seemed as though she saw you as her own.” Omega looked at her with wide eyes. 
“Really? You saw all that?” Lyana giggled.
“Yeah. In fact, the way you described her sounds just like my mother.” Lyana frowned a bit. Omega noticed. 
“I’m sorry.” Lyana shook her head. 
“It’s alright,” she paused thinking for a moment. “I’d probably talk to her about it. If you're so worried. And maybe your dad too? I’m not exactly sure which one is your father. Is it the one with the tattoo on his face and the bandanna?” Omega giggled. 
“Yeah, that’s a whole other problem too.” Lyana’s eyes widened. 
“Really?” Omega nodded her head and sighed. Lyana hummed.
“Well, it’s just like I said. You should talk to them. I don’t know everything, but as your friend, I want to help.” Omega smiled gratefully.
“Thank you, that helped a lot,” she chuckled. “I guess I just needed to get it out and talk about it.” They laughed, but it was stopped abruptly as the boat jerked.
To say you were worried about Omega was an understatement. You tried to focus on helping the citizens of Pabu, but you couldn’t take your mind off of Omega being in danger. You were finally relieved when you saw her and Lyana wave from the Marauder. 
As soon as the ship landed, you immediately ran over. Omega barely stepped off the ramp when you engulfed her in a hug. Omega was taken back, but right after wrapped her arms around you tightly. You pulled back and pointed your finger at her with a small glare.
“Don’t you dare scare me like that again.” Omega smiled and hugged you again. You held her head and sighed. 
After the situation with the tidal wave, Hunter decided it was best to stay and help with repairs. Which you agreed with wholeheartedly. After their warm welcome, you couldn’t help but feel the urge to aid them. 
As the day went by, you came to find that this place was indeed a paradise. Filled with kind and pleasant people. You couldn’t help but love Pabu. 
As the day came to an end, you wiped the sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand with a sigh. You looked at everyone picking up remains, handing out food and blankets.
Though this place seemed utterly irredeemable, the people of Pabu had faith and hope for their home to be rebuilt. You smiled and dusted your hands off as you walked towards the batch.
Hunter noticed you first and smiled. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and kissed your temple. You chuckled at his open use of PDA, which didn’t happen quite often. Not saying you didn’t love the sudden display, but you were a bit befuddled. You quirked a brow and smirked at him.
“What was that for?” He shrugged, then pulled you closer. 
“Just felt like it,” he whispered in your ear, which sent shivers down your spine. You rolled your eyes and shook your head. 
As you said your good nights to the rest of the squad, Hunter would not let you go. As you hugged Tech and Wrecker good night, Hunter stood on the side practically tapping his toe waiting for you to be done so he could have you in his arms again. You had no idea what made him change his demeanor, until it was Omega’s turn to say goodnight. 
She ran up to you and engulfed you in a hug. You lifted her up and spun her around, she giggled and smiled. Hunter watched fondly, then kneeled in front of Omega with arms outstretched. Omega ran into them and wrapped her arms around Hunter’s neck, which he responded to accordingly by embracing her. 
Omega pulled back and looked at you, she motioned for you to join. You rolled your eyes and joined them on the floor for a group hug. 
“I love you.” You heard Omega whisper. She pulled away and smiled. 
This was the first time Omega said those words. Not that she didn’t love you two before. She just didn’t have the knowledge of love in her naive brain. Hunter looked at you and smiled. 
“We love you too, kid.” Hunter looked back at Omega and you nodded your head.
“Very much,” you emphasized. 
Omega thought of bringing up her problem she discussed earlier with Lyana. Then remembered what Lyana said right before they thought they weren’t going to make it.
Your mother and father, I don’t think you need to worry about a label! If they love you, she paused, catching her breath. Then that’s enough! 
Omega smiled thinking back to the moment. She could discuss this with you guys another time. For now, she just wanted to express how grateful she was to have you in her life.
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itsyoursunshinebabe · 13 hours
Yuta Okkotsu NSFW Alphabet!
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TW: sex, MDNI!!!!
Aftercare: The absolute best at it! He’d literally carry you to the bathroom to have a nice relaxing shower together, where you might continue what you’ve started (No one can convince me that Yuta has a low sex drive, like man wants to touch you, feel you, fill you 24/7) Then he brings you a glass of whatever beverage you crave for. You might not fall asleep immediately, then he stays up to talk to you, his voice lulls you to sleep.
Body part: Your boobs. No matter what size they are, he loves them. Even in a non-sexual way, like they’re pretty good pillows! Most often it’s sexual tho.  He loves pinching your nipples, kneading your boobs. But also, he loves when he can decorate them with his cum.
Cum: Depends, but usually he cums a lot, except after like four rounds. Then it’s significantly less then on the first one. The taste is neutral, maybe a tiny bit salty, but otherwise it’s like...tasteless.
Dirty secret: Yuta LOVES semi-public sex. Doing it in the dressing room? Yes. At a party? Sure. After mission when the adrenaline rushes through your bodies? ABSOLUTELY!!
Experience: He’s not as experienced as one might believe it, as Yuta is someone who needs to feel connected to his partner to actually have sex. So his first one was probably you. That doesn’t mean he had no clue how to satisfy you, as he’d read many magazines and watched as many porn as humanly possible, just to make sure you’d enjoy this experience with him.
Favourite position: Titjob! Okay man is enamoured with your boobs! He likes feeling them on his monstercock. Like they’re naturally soft, and when he pours lube on them, they’re just heavenly.
Goofy: A little bit. Boy just likes to enjoy himself, so a bit of teasing, joking around wouldn’t hurt, no?
Hair: Nope. He removes all his hair. For comfort and hygenie as well, plus he’d be naturally veeeery hairy and he feels ashamed because of it. If you like hair then encourage him not to wax it, but he’d feel embarrassed for the first few weeks.
Intimacy: Dawww okay so despite the natural awkwardness of the first time, he tried to ease your nervousness by cracking some silly jokes, and you laughed at them! How sweet! Then he was on top of you because you were cute. Yuta is the master of words, and with you, he can finally say what he wants to. He praises you, calls you his everything, because that’s what you are! With you, he dares to talk about his dreams, his future, because he finally sees one.
Jack off: Y’know being one of the strongest sorcerer has its disadvantages too: abroad jobs. Yeah facetime and such are good, but nothing like seeing you in person, feeling your soft skin on his own, smelling your enchanting smell...oh wait he’s jacking off rn, sorry. Anyway, yes he’s masturbating pretty often when he’s not with you. The thought of seeing his sperm on your tits, or filling you drives him crazy. Also, you kinda encourage this action when sending videos of you begging him to fuck you crazy.  Who needs porn when he’s got the most amazing partner in the world?
Kink: Semi-public sex, titjob, praise kink, also...he likes to be subbed. Like come on, dominate him, ride his cock and call him bad boy. He’d love that.
If he’s tired or had a hard day however don’t expect that. He’d casually throw you on the bed and fuck you like there’s no tomorrow; fill your pussy, till he’s all empty.
Also, I can see him having a gigantic breeding kink. Sometimes he calls you mama. The feeling of your walls sucking all his cum in you is just outwordly.
Location: Literally EVERYWHERE: you need to buy some more clothes? “Darling, let me help you, this dress seems hard to put on.” You two just finished a mission? “Aww, are you hurt? That miniscule little scar on your pinky finger seems serious, let me heal you.” You had a hard day? “Nooo, my heart, let’s watch a movie to calm you down.” Boom. Sex. Sex. Oh and SEX.
Motivation: World peace *rolls eyes* Holy shit, believe it or not, his motivation is to make you satisfied. He lives for your moans, and beggings, like “Oh Yuta, that’s it, you’re so good. More, more give me MORE!” And he feels like an accomplished man. Because he CAN and WILL give you more.
No: Three/Foursome. Nope, not happening. You are HIS and only HIS and if anyone tries to look at you dirty, ahah they won’t do it again. Also, it feels like cheating, to him. Like he doesn’t want any other human being in YOUR shared bed. He only needs you and he hopes you feel the same.
Oral: LOVES it! He’s such a pussy eater, dawww. It took him a month to find your clit and sweet spot, but after he found it...oooh boy. Imagine, just imagine, Yuta’s sweet lips are kissing you all around, not touching your clit, because he’s a little shit. You need to BEG, but no Y/n, be patient! Man knows what he’s doing. When he finally kisses your clit, oh it’s heaven; he teased you so much, you could literally come with just one lick.
And as you might have guessed, he LOVES receiving head. Now you can pay all the teasing back. Good luck Y/n! Start slowly, veeery slowly and sensually, he’s patient, and wants to enjoy himself. If you put it in between your boobs, then even better.
Pace: Depends: did he have a rough day? Duracel bunny tempo! Did he have a nice day with rainbows and sunshine? Energetic af. Did he feel the sudden need to be romantic with you? Slow and sensual with a shit ton of foreplay.
Risk: I mentioned he likes semi-public sex. But never ever would he want to make you feel uncomfortable. He only encourages it when he’s sure that no one would see you two. So he’s pretty calculative. Though the idea of getting caught is ticking his mind.
Stamina: Can and will go for multiple round (all night) because why not? He loves you and seeing you naked will harden him in a second, even after filling you up like six times.
Toys: Maybe due to his inexperience, but he doesn’t really see the point? Sure, he’s curious and a fast learner, show him some and he’s gonna try his best, but overall not a fan.
Unfair: Yes he is, and you like it. Yuta would totally tease you, want you to beg for him. “Do you want to come, darling? Too bad, you’d have to wait for a bit.” And mf just slows down, driving you insane yet at the same time giving you the most absurd orgasm ever. Like how????
Volume: Sweet moans, little grunts, whispered praises. Overall not loud at all, but very vocal about how he feels at the moment and encourages you to do the same.
Wild card: For the past three days you felt incredibly frustrated: nothing was ever good, your boobs felt sore, your abdomen hurt so much, your moodswings were crazy and yes, you were late, and Yuta knew that. he secretly hoped that somehow that stupid pill woudn’t have worked and you’re carrying his baby. He felt so overjoyed, but seeing you having so much discomfort really hurt him. He pulled you close and as an act of affection he latched on your nipple very gently not to hurt you. You said no, because of how bad you’ve felt, but Yuta promised to make you feel good and that’s what he did: he massaged your boobs, kissed them occasionally, those kisses wandered down till they reached your pussy where he carefully ate you out. “Oh mama you taste exquisite today.” He couldn’t help but called you this, not that you’d mind. The sex was amazing, not that it would’ve ever been a problem, but Yuta was so sweet, and the pace was slow. Praises were hinted in every minute, and you came like billion times that night. Next day you got your period and Yuta was sad, but that means more trying and by more trying he means more sensual sex.
X-ray: 22 cm of pure monster cock. And yes it’s girthy as well; man is blessed, so are you. As I mentioned, he removes his hair, because he likes his appearance neat and clean. His cock is pale with a bit of pink undertone, the veins are purple-blue and the tip is pretty pink.
Yearning: Like a hormonal teenager. 7 times a week. Many times a day.
Zzz: Nah. You are his priority, so until you fall asleep he caresses your face, or embraces you from behind, talks about his day or future plans, like where to travel this weekend and such. When he feels you’re currently in dreamland, that’s when he let his eyes rest as well, hoping to see you in his dreams too.
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bwobgames · 1 day
Previous First
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The man makes a phone call
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"Vivi! Turn on your location. I am coming over!"
"Wh- dont say it like that! No, we didn't do anything, just chatted"
"I wouldn't say disappointed. I mean, it's too early"
"That is an old nickname, and it does not reflect the man I am today"
"Lovingly: shut up, I am going there with him, so be nice"
"Yes, yes, bye!"
"... nickname?"
"Due to my poor decisions in previous years of my life that I do not plan on repeating, I was known as 'Goatman' for being 'Hornier than someone with horns'
I am now regretting giving her this information"
Oliver tries very hard not to laugh
"Ok, I know where she is. Let's go"
They get to a corridor
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"Well well well, if it isn't Ángel and a little buddy, what bussiness could you two have with a lady like me?"
"So his name is Ángel"
"Job bussiness sadly"
"Man, and here I thought we would have a new person for our dnd campaign"
"That could be arranged"
"Before we start being boring, have any of you seen a photobook anywhere?"
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"I wanted to take pictures of the storm, but without a photobook, they will get all crumpled in my pockets! I have been obligated to use my phone's camera like a measly instagram influencer, Do you see what that does to a vibrant soul like me? The pain? The shame??"
"I'm sorry, I'm sure we'll find it eventually"
"A lost photobook, that's another mystery.
Logically, I know it's probably just a misplaced item, but
Something feels bad about it
What if it was stolen?
By someone with bad intentions?
What if something bad happened?
What if something bad will happen?
What if it's happening right now?
Is there someone behind me?"
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"No. Of course there isn't. I must be on edge from what Ángel told me. Ugh, this is not the time for new phobias to be created"
"Time to get into business"
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"Excuse me, We were actually here to ask you about Eugene Coli's speedrunning incident. Do you happen to know about it? Why would he do that?"
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"Yeaaahhhh no, I only know what happened afterward, I mean, I wanted to know! But the guy didn't want to give any interviews!
And then the guy went to jail for like, a week, only to disappear from public eye until this party, so he's probably here somewhere. If i find out, I'll tell you!"
"But you are then one who found out first, can you tell us about that?"
"It was an anonymous link sent to the place i work at. It led to a speedrunning website with the mans run in a video"
"Did you watch the video?"
"Yeah! It was taken off the site days later, but i managed to download it! It was like a tour to the man's factory. You could see him talking to whoever was recording. Although the sound was replaced with some techno music for some reason.
The video even had accidents! Like, blood and burns! I have no clue how the moderators accepted it, I'm blaming money"
"It was listed as a satisfactory gameplay ironically enough."
"Did you know that the guy used to be a speedrunner? He used the same account to upload this one"
"I don't have any knowledge on psychology, but maybe this guy is just obsessed with speedrunning"
"Well, this does tell us some things. Thank you for your help"
"Also, we must warn you, we think this event might be some kind of disguise for crimes that could hurt us"
"That blows"
"You don't seem very worried"
"I've reported dangerous situations live. This isn't my first rodeo, mister"
"Yeah, but this is more serious. You might be killed here"
"Well, if it's my time, then it's my time"
"Don't say that. You're sending yourself to an early grave if you're this careless all the time"
"Me? Aren't you the guy who can't be two days without injecting cancer gas directly into their lungs?"
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"That's not the same"
"How is it not the same? Is that and your crazy stunts of dubious legality not also sending you to an early grave?"
"I quit that! And I can quit smoking anytime! I just don't have the need to"
"Right, right, of course, I'm just being careless unlike you, mature and responsible man"
"Is, is this a fight? A friendly fight? Should I intervene, or is it more like a sibling fight where this is a normal thing that happens. Can we leave?"
"Listen, I get it, I was stupid and unsafe, and I probably should've died thrice by now, but I don't want that life anymore!"
"I want to be safe now. I dont want any of us to be in danger"
"I don't want us to die"
"... It's going to happen eventually, you know this"
"I don't want it"
"Yeah, alright, I'm getting involved"
"...It is normal to fear death. It's unknown and out of our control, but only with death, we have life, yeah?
So let's not waste it by bickering, and let's keep going"
"I've never been good at pep talks, but if we really are in danger, then there's no time for existentialism"
"... Right, keep your location on Vivi"
"Maybe I will. Maybe I won't"
"... I'm sorry for calling you careless"
"...Ugh, Fine, I'll keep it on, stop looking at me with that mopey wet cat face and leave already"
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"Well, we didn't find motive, but we have some information.
Do you know anyone else who might have something on the speedrunning stunt?"
"... Someone comes to mind"
"Alright, we'll go now, bye Vivi!"
"Yeah, yeah, run along, bunny boy"
"Did she just ...assign me a fursona???"
"She does that"
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birdmenmanga · 5 months
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some kind of moodboard
@birdmenanime @kitsoa
#just thinking thoughts...#sorry. the phrase 'bird mom loves you both' was so fucking evocative#and then once I started drawing it turned out I had a lot of feelings about this#if either of you want me to take this down let me know#yeah so I've been sitting on that edit of the conversation between takayama and karasuma for ages. like 4 months.#but at that time ghost was still on hiatus I think and also we weren't that close. so it didn't feel right to show it. but it existed.#my mental image of ghostpun is actually largely just that chibi takayama actually#but like that would cause confusion. so i used your discord pfp. your goat person is really nice to draw actually#as for kitsoa. it's supposed to be your fox from tumblr. but I also really associate you with sora(?)'s silhouette so.#it's that. and then hair that COULD be fox ears if you so desired. the ponytail is the tail... the shape is more or less the same.#fistfighting on top of a ferris wheel is a reference to detective conan movie 20: darkest nightmare#it's just so stupid and ridiculous it's my go-to for ludicrous conflicts#yeah anyways onto the actual subject.#to ghost: sorry about this. generally when it comes to fandoms I read most text posts and nod my head thoughtfully and sip my drink#but I guess because I have more cohesive and coherent thoughts about this series in particular I'm less good at just nodding my head#I don't think there's been a single time where we've said something that made the other person go 'YEAH'#like it's always '......well...............'#some nights I wonder whether we read the same series or not. and I feel like you probably feel this way sometimes too#sorry for being so pedantic. I am really not trying to pick a fight with you I promise.#yeah I have no clue what I want to say actually#we go to the same church for worship and like what are we gonna do??? stop going??? fuck no#I don't hate you. I respect you. still trying my damnest to like you. we're still working on that last one#like look I want to be besties so bad but I feel like we just have a boatload of ideological differences to work through#so I guess. what I'm trying to say is. here's to being insane together for the next few years. cheers!#(additional apology for the brutal honesty. I'm not good at white lies.)#to kitsoa: uh. sorry about. This. I don't even know if you were aware we had a rivalry (???) going on#Uh I wish I didn't stir up trouble in your house (bm fandom) but I'm stubborn. for better or for worse. sorry...#I am going to be careful to keep discussions respectful etc. etc. so as not to cultivate a toxic workplace or whatever. prommy.#(but you have to admit. this is kind of funny) <- guy addicted to doing things for the bit#yeah that's all. I can't do anything in a normal way but I hope you guys can understand somewhat.
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youremyonlyhope · 2 months
Pippin is my favorite musical of all time.
But unfortunately, I seem to fixate on it during times of my life when my brain is especially existential, anxious, depressed, etc.
The last few days, I've been thinking about Pippin a lot, reading analyses of it, listening to the music. Just generally enjoying my comfort musical.
Then I remembered that earlier this week, my therapist heard me describing how I feel unfulfilled while unemployed and doing a lot of stuff for other people or to make other people happy and not doing anything for myself, all while having a completely messed up sleep schedule. And she said "Hmm... honestly... that sounds a little like depression."
And I was like "No. No. Because I am doing things. It's not like when I've been depressed in the past." but now that I'm back to fixating on Pippin, I think she was somewhat onto something since that's usually a bad sign. Yay!
#pippin#it's kind of sad that my comfort musical is pippin. but like. it's comforting for a reason. i need the comfort.#i'm currently being overworked by the theater i volunteer with because i was brought on to sew some pieces#and a couple turned into 6 pieces and then adding trims to other things and repairing a bunch of costumes#and completely deconstructing 2 different dresses to make them into new things#and then further alterations and tailoring and yeah this is not what i had signed up for#and how i need to learn to say no because i now have no time to do what i want to do with my free time#plus the jobs i've applied to have not gotten back to me and blah blah blah i'm doing nothing with my life at the moment#and past pippin obsessions have been senior year of high school when i had no clue what to do with my life#into freshman year of college when i was happier but still feeling strange about having no direction#then junior/senior year of college when i once again had no clue what i was doing with my life but about to graduate.#then one year post-college when i was considering leaving my job in the next year-ish to pursue theater#THEN during the really dark era of the quarantine in April just before May hit aka the lowest i've been in over a decade#literally crying every single day i was so stressed and anxious and depressed#and now. after a year of switching jobs. finally thinking i know what i want to do. and now having to actually do it.#while unemployed because my literal dream job that was supposed to last at least 4 months to a year only lasted 2 months
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fvckmyaesthetic · 5 months
#can’t sleep. feel sick. feel empty and sad all the time. say i’m lonely and then purposely avoid talking to people#like genuinely. wtf is my problem dude??#i feel so tired and let down by everyone and everything all of the time and it’s like?#shit ain’t even that bad in the grand scheme of things. but I really still just wish I could get a ‘break for once’#why am I so stuck on the ideas of certain people who will never be the way that they were when I actually knew them#and why can’t I just be upfront with people about how I feel. so many ppl think so highly of me for Who Tf Knows Why Honestly#and it’s like. for the love of god please just go find someone else because I Promise you that I’m not going to magically fall in love +#+ with you someday. I have too many fucking problems as it is that I couldn’t even stay with my lady gf for more than a few months#why can’t I just get my shut together Jesus is it really that hard??#if I’m tired and sad then why do I stay up? why wouldn’t I just go to sleep. all I’m doing by staying awake is making myself feel WORSE#and I already feel bad enough as it is. everyone is moving forward with their lives and I’m just sitting here#No fucking clue what I’m doing. no one to talk to. i swear all I want is a good hug sometimes and I can’t even fucking get that#how hard is it to just ask someone for a hug and I can’t do even that??#please tell me I figure my shit out soon and learn to talk to other people because I’m so tired of forcing myself to be so alone all th#e time. i spend so much time awake at night and for what? so I can just make myself feel sad and lonely and anxious?#yeah well I’m tired of it. I’m tired of being awake and alone and not having anyone to talk to because I push everyone away
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lokigodofaces · 8 months
being an american on here is wild because i keep seeing posts from other americans that describe things they've experienced and say that it is universal among americans and it'll be stuff i've either never heard of or know for a fact isn't true. maybe it's pretty common in your state or the states surrounding you, but there's so much stuff i see that i can not relate to whatsoever, and i've never left the states.
#liv won't shut up#i saw something about insurance today#said that optometry is never covered by health insurance#& i'm sitting here like dude the insurance my dad gets from work benefits (so it's not the best in a lot of ways) has covered our optometry#costs for 3 people for years. & actually idk the specifics but it seems like its not that bad of a plan. we usually buy more than a years#supply of contacts for me (only like a month more) and our insurance covers pretty much all the costs. i have to choose contacts or glasses#every year but my prescription has been very stable so i only have to get new glasses if they're damaged beyond repair#again it's not my insurance i'm covered by my parents & they dont tell me all the details so idk how much theyre paying for it. might be a#lot & we're doing it bc it's one of my dads benefits. but any way the point is that so many americans will say things like every single#person living in america understands & 90% of the time i have no frickin clue what they're on about or i have experienced the exact opposit#it's just interesting that this happens. & it happens all the time. 'all american schools require learning another language' no the frick#they do not. lots do (and this may be a state requirement thing wouldnt be surprised) but not all. wasnt required for me it was just highly#encouraged & i got a different type of diploma for my world lang classes (my hs had a few types of diplomas based on different classes/#grades/etc idk if thats a common thing or not). another good example are train posts actually. i can tell theres a divide between beliefs#on trains based on state & thats bc public transportation is not as feasible in some states. i've spent a good portion of my life living in#small towns or visiting small towns (family) & yeah public transportation in middle of nowhere wyoming and middle of nowhere idaho is a lot#less feasible than the east coast. those are places of vast nothingness other than a few towns every once in a while never exceeding 20000#(ID) or 500 (WY). & even in larger towns it seems like a lot of western states are more spread out. so a subway or other train isnt very#helpful (unless you want to do long distance trains then those could maybe work the issue is that costs money & idk if itd be used enough#to make it worth it for a gov/actually work well) & this is more of a rural/urban issue but that aligns with states as well in a lot of way#oh another one is about facs classes. so in a lot of places facs is being defunded or removed from curriculum. same with arts classes. &#this is becoming a problem in many places! but when ppl are like 'these classes are being taken away everywhere in america' i just sit#there thinking about my state requiring facs in middlie & high school (i believe but things could have changed) plus i had to take like 3#semesters of art (idk if thats state or school or district required) & thereve been talks of raising that requirement. & they add more opt#every year. i was helping my younger brother with his schedule & theres all sorts of stuff that wasnt there before. he has way more options#to fulfill that requirement than i did. & i'm not saying that this isnt a problem it is a problem most places but every state has different#legislation on this so for now at least lots of schools are required to have these classes. & i've probably lost my point by now but it is#odd that i see this so often. that most of posts about america i see are different from what i've experienced. idk maybe the states i've#lived in are weird but youd think that this wouldnt happen to me a lot would you? like sometimes yeah but this happens a lot.#my guess is that a lot of these things are very true if you talk about a specific region or state. but then ppl assume its an american
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vibeforce · 1 year
achievements of the day: woke up, still alive, did both steroid gargles, brushed teeth x2, took morning meds, took care of dogs in the morning and gave them goodbye loves, got my point across without getting hurt, got to see my babies again (!!!!!!!!!) and they missed me a ton, took a cleansing shower, called imaging place to schedule ct scan, cooked and ate a yummy dinner (and had a cocktail, i deserve it!), got to be with my girls all day, took night meds, flossed
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griba · 2 years
ok i know i already take a long time to draw but i started a Big Project and im using that as an excuse now <3 /hj
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airbenderedacted · 2 years
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All the math I gotta do to figure out some new markups for one of my prints on fineartamerica to make up for the fact that they’re aLWAYS DOING 20% OFF SALES 😅😅😅
#end result... how much I'd make on sales of prints of every size after changing the markups of the first three... comes out literally perf..#btw when i say sales there i mean both meanings of da word... sales during literal 20% off sales#what I have screenshot in snipping tool are all the original/current markups (how much I make)#and when there's a 20% off sale WHICH I SWEAR TO GOD THEY DO LIKE EVERY SINGLE DAY i also lose 20% of those intended profits!!!#so I like...#wanted to see about coming up with new markups so that I would make THOSE ORIGINAL AMOUNTS I WANNA MAKE during them damnb sales#but not for all sizes bc 12.5 x 16 in prints cost about the same amount as they do on redbubble during these sales#(w/ shipping included they cost a lot less actually!!! haha oop) and I didn't wanna mess with that#hence me only coming up with new markups for all sizes below that! which is what all that math on the sticky notes is#and on my computer calculator to compare everything (and also - yanno - do the math itself bc that's what computers fOR)#SO YEAH I CAME UP WITH NEW MARKUPS & WHEN CHECKING HOW THE NEW & UNCHANGED PRICE TOTALS ALL COMPARE DURING SALES... IT'S LITERALLY PERF AAAA#THAT!!! FUCKS!!!#takeaway here (besides that u really do need to know the bare basics of algebra & percentages) IS GOD BLESS PAST!ME.........#SHE SAT ON ALL THESE FOR DAYS STRAIGHT COMING UP WITH PRINT SIZE MARKUPS CALCULATING WHAT TOTALS ON EVERYTHING WOULD BE..#FUCKIMNG FIGURING OUT THE DAMNB BASE PRICES FOR ALL THE DIFF PRINT SIZES BC FOR W/E REASON THIS SITE DOESN'T TELL U...#COMING UP WITH LIKE PATTERNS OR SOMETHING FOR HOW DIFFERENT SHE WANTED THE PRICE INCREASES ACROSS THEM TO BE OR W/E IDK#LITERALLY I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT EXACTLY I DID BACK THEN OTHER THAN GOING BACK & FORTH ON THINGS SO MANY TIMES. DOING SM ON THE CALCULATOR...#\WHATEVER THAT HYPERFOCUSED PATTERN-SEEKING OVERLY PERFECTIONISTIC LITLE WEIRDO FUCKIMNG DID IT ENABLED ME TO GET TO HERE AND!!! OGUGH!!!!#MY GOD THAT'S AWESOME IDK WHAT THE FUCK YOU DID PAST!ME BUT YOOOOOOO#and now to never lose this sticky note bc god knows if i'll ever need to come back to tweaking any of these again aAA
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ilostyou · 29 days
5sos said it's so hard to watch everything i want spinning down the drain which is true however. even worse than that is not even getting to watch everything spin down the drain bc you thought everything was actually fine and the drain was plugged and nothing was going anywhere so your attention wanders a bit and you come back thinking everything is still fine except it's not bc everything you ever wanted disappeared while you were weren't looking while it was completely out of your control while you were under the assumption it was all fine so you didn't even have the chance to process the fact that it might ever go away that everything you want could spin down the drain or is actively spinning down the drain bc everything was fine it was all supposed to be fine
#im having a meltdown 👍🏻 but it's all internal and i seem veeeery stoic right now bc i think im angry at circumstances and myself#yes this is about everything with the program i didnt get into could you yet? obviously that's all im properly melting down abt lately#does this make sense? not sure don't care either way#like. i kind of wish i had some indication of things not working out!!! of me literally just not getting in!! and i couldve prepared myself#but no everything was fucking PERFECT im fucking PERFECT on paper my interview was fucking PERFECT i felt fucking GREAT#so yeah i felt ok abt it and didnt wanna get my hopes up but everything felt FINE it all felt GOOD and then poof#every fucking idea i had for myself for the future apparently fucking gone! out the window! and i had no clue it was coming!#and i wish i could say i should have or could have seen it coming but i COULDNT have bc it was all PERFECT#theres no fucking concrete reason it shouldnt have worked out except that i should just stop getting my hopes up about good things#like if i had seen it coming there's no possible way i would have been this level of crushed bc ?? i wouldve seen it coming#and in the metaphor of the song. yeah it fucking sucks watching what you want spin down the drain but ?? you got to WATCH IT#not that thats a good thing that fucking sucks too but ?? coming back to an empty sink you thought was plugged?? that you didnt think#would actually ever empty and the drain wasnt open and nothing was supposed to go down the drain?? and you come back to it empty???#yeah fuck okay#bleach#5sos#5 seconds of summer#this has been a rant
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shisnhou · 9 months
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does anyone else have thoughts about gojo satoru who wants to buy you sexy lingerie for your birthday present, but doesn’t know what your bra or panty size is.
the man is walking into the lingerie store with his head held up high and his cheeks tainted red. all the women, and their significant others look at him with a confused yet intrigued look. why‘s this extremely handsome man walking into the lingerie store alone?
with long confident strides, this man walks to the set aisle. his blue eyes widen behind the designer sunglasses, and it isn’t the price tags that fluster him—he could care less about the insane price tags—what flusters him is the material and style of the lingerie.
he swallows, hard. he suppresses the shaking of his hand and reaches out for the dark blue lingerie before his also very blue eyes.
"excuse me sir?" a woman appears out of no where, breaking goio‘s impure imagination of you in said lingerie. "is there anything i can help you with?" she asks, cocking a brow.
gojo puts the lingerie down and stammers, licking his lips for a moment before coming to his senses. "i— yeah." he thinks hard and keeps his mind straight. "can i have this for my girl?"
"sure," she nods, taking the lingerie from his hands. "this is our limited edition, by the way. we only have two of these ever made by our famous designer.." gojo could honestly care less about what she is saying. all he‘s thinking of right now is taking the sinful piece and placing it on you as soon as possible.
"yeah." he nods, already looking around for another sexy set.
"the person you‘re with must be really lucky." she chuckles, still doing whatever the fuck she‘s supposed to do and looks at him. "this is one of a kind." she further adds. he nods again. "so i‘ll have to ask.."
"what‘s their size?"
gojo stops.
"it‘s limited edition, so there‘s no size other than this. we have to make sure it‘s their size." she looks at him.
gojo halts. his whole body shuts down as he looks at it. he hadn‘t thought that part through. he thought that if he‘d see what looks good, he‘d immediately know it was made for you. but for god sake, now that he’s here, he doesn’t have a single clue.
"i— um—" he stammers, trying to explain it. "it‘s—"
"do you not know it?" she frowns. "i mean it‘s okay. you‘d just have to ask her then come—"
"no! i know it!" he cuts her off quick, pressing his fingers to his temple. "it‘s— it‘s.."
without even realizing it, gojo brings up both his hands to the air and makes an odd shape. the woman watches and eyes him oddly as he continues to further describe the shape.
"what‘re you doing…?"
"i‘m trying to show you." without a single ounce of shame, this man then puts his hands on the bra and feels it.
he‘s trying to figure out your tit size with his hands.
"yeah, that‘s it." he nods, sure of himself. then he grabs the thong. he places it flat on his palm and sees the size before nodding once again and smiling to the woman. "mhm, that‘s the right size."
the woman stares at him, bewildered. her jaw hangs agape, throat dry as she watches gojo move around and look at her. "yeah, that‘s it. it‘s her perfect size."
without even awaiting her response, he proudly takes the set from her and walks away, not even bothering to check the number tag for the size as he goes around and does the same for every piece of lingerie he encounters.
the people look at him, meanwhile he couldn‘t give a damn. he simply walks around, and purchases what he found with pride, leaving the store and the people in there more confused than they ever were in their lives.
and when the man gives it to you during your birthday, somehow, some fucking way, it‘s actually the right fucking size. and when he knows about it, he‘ll smugly tell you the story about how he found out your size and you‘ll just be left embarrassed the next time you‘re walking into that store with him.
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luveline · 6 months
Jade, my beloved!! <3
What about reader going over to Eddie's trailer and Roan starts clinging to reader, and Eddie tries to apologize but reader absolutely does not mind at all and happily carries Roan around? (The way you write kiddos is so sweet😭)
omg YES thank you . girl dad Eddie forever <3 | fem!reader
You and Eddie (and Roan, his mirror image daughter) have been on one date.
It's not easy getting to know someone when they bring their baby but you'd figured it was the only reasonable option. He's gonna have her for the rest of his life and you wouldn't have it any other way besides, so you'd told him to bring her and you'd stuffed her full of chocolate cake. You'd wanted her to like you.
You might've done too good a job.
Eddie called you after the date — the next morning, to your delighted surprise — and told you how much fun he had. How he'd love to see you again. You'd enough butterflies to lose your mind and told him absolutely, yes, but what day's good for you?
So your next date is a week away. You're eager to see him again. You're excited to see his daughter, too, because she'd been lovely and sweet, quiet though she'd certainly known how to throw a tantrum.
Eddie calls you two days after the first phone call and says, "Listen, do you want to come over for dinner?"
"If you're not busy."
So here you are. Standing outside of his trailer home in Forest Hills Trailer Park with a teddy bear in one hand and a bottle of sparkling cider in the other, nervously shifting from foot to foot and wondering if maybe you should've brought wine. Or beer. But no, right? He has a baby. Kind of.
You knock and wait. There's scrambling feet, obviously smaller footsteps pittering over the floor and then a bang against the door. You flinch and wait.
"Hello?" you call.
"Oh, shit," someone says from further away. "I'm coming!"
"Shit," a little voice echoes.
"No!" Eddie calls, horrified.
Quick footsteps. The deadbolt slides free and the door opens.
Eddie's shepherded Roan behind him just enough to let you in. "You can't say that, babe. It's a bad word," he tells her, face hidden behind a sheet of messy curls.
Roan doesn't take any notice of him. She's stopped dead behind him in an actual princess dress. Tiny clip on earrings hang from her small earlobes and her dark curls are pulled up into dainty pig tails. Her lips part and expose the pink of tongue and all her pearly baby teeth, and then she screams.
"Yes!" she says, and throws herself at you.
Her arms wrap around your legs and her face rubs into your thighs. When you don't hug back she looks up at you with wide brown eyes, all her dad's, and blinks.
"Baby, you can't-" Eddie sighs and scrubs a hand across his jaw. "I'm sorry," he apologises.
You hold out the teddy bear and the cider and he takes both on instinct. Hands free, you lean down to give Roan a tentative hug.
"Hi, princess. I'm happy to see you too, and in your lovely dress! You look so pretty," you baby-talk, bubbly and light and very, very enamoured by the warmth of her small body clutching your thighs.
"She- I said you were coming and she told me she had to wear the princess dress," Eddie explains.
You turn your attention from your cuddle and find him as handsome as you'd left him last Thursday. He's dressed not nearly as fancy as he had been, though this feels more him. A band t-shirt, a pair of black jeans. His tattoos play stark over the length of his arms.
This is more like it.
"Yeah? Good, she should wear it. She's pretty as any princess I've seen."
Eddie tries to separate your clinger so he can shut the door but Roan adamantly refuses it.
"Up," she says, hands grabbing.
"Roan, Y/N doesn't want to-"
"Up please!"
You don't have a clue how to pick up a toddler so you squat down. Roan wraps her arms around your neck and squeals with happiness as you stand. The tulle of her skirt is scratchy under your palms.
"You really don't have to," Eddie says. He sounds worried.
You meet his eyes and try to adjust your hold until she's comfortable as you say, "Hey, it's okay. If it's okay with you?"
He's still for a moment.
"Yeah. Yeah, it's okay," he says softly.
You smile until he smiles back.
Roan pulls away from your neck to touch your neck. You shiver at her cold hands and rub up the length of her back. "Are you cold?" you fret.
"She just had an ice pop."
You raise your eyebrows at him. Dipping your head toward your shoulder, you fix your knowing gaze on Roan. "Is that so? What flavour do you like? No, let me guess..." You take in the purple at the corner of her mouth and beam. "Grape yeah? I like grape too. You have good taste."
"Can I get you a drink?" Eddie asks, wielding the apple cider.
Talking to Roan is a piece of cake. Talking to her dad is nowhere near as easy. You feel like you're in school again as he watches you, your lips curving into a funny excuse for a smile.
He disappears to the kitchenette. You press Roan's chest to yours and search their living room for details, curious and hungry to know more about them. They've got a thousand things, not a lick of space between toys, so many toys, pinks and purples like a wave carpeting the floor.
There's a small square table painted pink outfitted by saucers and teacups. There are three chairs, two pink and plastic and one a wooden drum stool, and at each sits a teddy bear.
"Having a party?" you ask.
Roan nods at you. "A tea party."
"A tea party!" you echo, impressed by her neat pronunciation. She's precious when she isn't on her knees screaming.
"For Teddy," she says.
"Yeah? Which one's Teddy?"
She turns to the table and points at the pink bear with a missing ear.
"Why don't you finish your tea party, Roan?" Eddie asks, then says to you, quieter, "You can put her down if you want to."
You take that as a You should put her down now and start to bend. Roan wraps her arms around your neck and clings, knees digging into your sides.
"No," she moans miserably.
"Baby," Eddie starts.
"No," she says again, meaner. You swoop her back up toward your chest, worried she'll start crying.
You feel awkward because it's obvious Eddie is embarrassed by her showing off. She starts to whine loudly and he gets worse, sending you an apologetic look as he approaches.
You can hear the apple cider sparkling away in the glasses in his hands, he talks to her that gently. "Roan, Y/N can't hold you all night, baby. She wants a drink. You don't like carrying Teddy all day, do you?"
Roan cries.
"It's really okay. I don't mind, I promise," you say.
The 'I promise,' comes out ridiculous. Too warm. Too genuine.
Eddie beams at you, almost haphazard. "Okay, awesome, because she's about to go nuclear and I don't think we'll survive it."
"Does she scream?"
"Full nine yards, slaps her hands on the floor, rolls around."
You gasp. "No! No way, do you really show off like that?" you ask her sympathetically. "I can't believe you'd ever do something like that, you're such a sweetheart. Is your daddy telling me lies?" You stroke down her cheek until she laughs, tickled. "He's lying, isn't he?"
"If you stick around long enough you'll see."
You don't flinch. "I can't wait."
Roan giggles wildly as you tickle down into the crease of her neck. You laugh in response, completely infected by her joy.
"She has a really lovely laugh," you praise.
"She's not the only one," Eddie says seriously.
You meet his gaze over her bunches and wrinkle your nose at him when he winks.
He's a real charmer when he wants to be. You're just dying to be charmed.
more eddie and roan
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david-watts · 1 year
I think this just solidifies the fact that I can’t trust anyone or anything and I knew already the world was acting against me but the only way to get things fucking done is to do it all yourself. nobody else can be trusted to do anything. if you want something you have to fight tooth and nail uphill to get anywhere.
#I'm not walking anyone's fucking predetermined path they didn't consult me on and based solely on what they want#and despite the fact that's always been forced upon me and I've been aware of it since I was fucking fourteen#stop having interests study all your time away why are you working on that portfolio that genuinely takes hours upon hours to complete#and work on this thing for hours more time than you could actually fucking spend on it because there's not that much content#why don't you do anything they say as you work on something else that needs doing because you aren't doing what they want#I could spend hours sorting things and still be called lazy for not doing something else that wasn't explained to me I have to do#because spoiler alert I do actually need to be told if you want something done. I'm autistic. I don't take clues very well#well. my grandmother only started believing I was autistic like two years ago. and I don't think she understands that#because 'I worked with autistic kids and you're nothing like them' yeah duh this was in the nineties and they were under five years old#I cannot trust a single person to help me and the only way I can do anything is to do it myself#if it takes it I'm going to walk myself and my things to a better place#even if the better place is in the fucking americas or in europe or somewhere else half the world away#humanity by nature might be selfless and help each other but individuals are selfish as I've learnt. I have to get with that to survive.#would've done better had I learnt it sooner and realised I had to learn skills myself. how to cook and clean without instruction.#because I was expected to do that and I was a whiny baby for thinking otherwise.#I'm gonna go clean and if they complain I'll ignore them because they don't care. if it's easier for them to ignore a problem they will
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munsquinns · 2 months
Social Media
Modern!Eddie Munson x fem!reader
WARNINGS: SMUT 18+ ONLY MDNI, p in v sex, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), slapping, hair pulling, name calling (whore/slut/sir), choking, spit (I love spit okay)
A/N: this one is something different, but I honestly like it!! If some parts are confusing or don’t make sense, I was drunk when I wrote some of it and I haven’t read through it! *here is my Masterlist* My inbox is open for requests!! I rlly love this gif of Joe so pretend it’s Eddie
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Your best friend had been on the road for what felt like years. You hadn’t seen him since you said goodbye to him at the airport, he barely had time to even text you anymore and it was extremely rare for him to FaceTime you. You were glad that he was enjoying his life, he had worked so hard to get here, but it was somewhat putting a strain on your friendship. Neither of your schedules lined up perfectly and you had always missed his texts and snaps, it irritated you that you couldn’t talk to each other when you both wanted to. You felt incredibly lonely at this point but you didn’t want Eddie to feel bad about it. You were so proud of him, it would kill you to upset him about how you felt. You got bored of Instagram and twitter so you opted in making a tumblr account. You hadn’t realized how many girls were obsessed with Eddie but it made you smile as you saw pictures of him with his fans.
Eventually you stumbled on smut about Eddie. It made you feel weird at first, there were tons of fanfics about him and they were very graphic, but you couldn’t help your curiosity. You went down a rabbit hole with it, forgetting for a moment that you actually knew Eddie. It felt wrong, so wrong, but you were developing feelings for him that you didn’t know you had. Sure they were just fics that Eddie had no clue existed about him, but it made you feel some type of way other than a friendship.
“You better wanna hang out with me when I get home.” Eddie’s text says as it comes through on your phone.
“Obviously! I’m not letting you hang out with anyone else lmfao.” You reply with a laugh to yourself.
Before you even had a minute to respond, your phone rings. Eddie’s picture flashes on the screen and you answer it. You see Eddie smiling at you and you smile back, his eyeliner smeared down his face and his hair a mess.
“What are you up to?” He asks.
“Oh nothing, just homework.” You sigh, he makes a disgusted face.
“Ew. Can I see?”
You look at your laptop and it’s still on tumblr, you were reading something else about him and your face floods red.
“No! No it’s okay, I’ll figure it out.” You lie and he shrugs.
You both talk for an hour about life here and his life on the road. You enjoyed hearing him talk about his experiences, he never fails to amaze you with his crazy stories. He tells you about the girls that chase him around the towns he’s in, constantly taking pictures with people, sold out shows, everything.
“Listen I gotta go, I’m fucking beat. I’ll text you in the morning, yeah?” He says with a yawn.
“Alright enjoy your sleep. Goodnight Ed’s.” You smile and he smiles back before hanging up.
Your attention goes back to your laptop, your eyes finding the spot that you had left off at. As you read the filth, your thoughts flashed to the times you spent with Eddie and his hands. You imagined everything in your head and it was fucking hot. You grew wet and needy for him.
Before you could finish the one-shot, hands came behind you and shut your laptop. You sat there frozen, you were too scared to look behind you because you just knew they saw what you were doing.
“Thought I’d surprise you by getting in when you didn’t know I was here.” You hear Eddie snicker, you gulp.
“I-I didn’t know you were here.” You whisper, your voice shaking. You turn around finally and your face is burning. “How did you get it without me knowing?”
“I have the key and I just tiptoed in here.” He chuckles and you cover your face.
After a moment of panic, you realize that you have to be face to face with him eventually so you uncover your face. He had a lot cigarette hanging from his mouth, you were utterly embarrassed. You were hoping this wouldn’t make things were or make your friendship go away. God you knew it was such a bad idea.
“Saw you were pretty occupied there.” He starts and you groan.
“Eddie don’t-“
“I didn’t know you were into erotica. Especially if it’s about your best friend.” He smirks.
“I’m so sorry.” You whisper and he shakes his head with a chuckle.
“Don’t be sorry, nothing to be embarrassed about.” He says as he exhales the smoke, leaning in closer to you. “Did you just miss me that much that you had to imagine my cock in you?”
You didn’t answer, you just stared at him anxiously as he raises an eyebrow. You wanted to run away so bad and pretend that it never happened, but he would ever allow that.
“Answer me doll. I asked you a question.” He orders, forcing you to make eye contact with him.
“I-I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.” You respond and he chuckles.
“It’s simple, yes or no.”
You knew he could tell when you were lying. You wouldn’t make eye contact with him, you got fidgety, you would crack a small smile.
“No.” You lie anyway, trying your hardest to maintain eye contact as you bit the inside of your cheek.
Eddie sits back and glares at you, he gives a small chuckle before shaking his head. He comes closer, his face an inch away from yours.
“You know I don’t like liars.” He whispers threatening, your doe eyes staring into his.
Eddie grabs your chin in his hands as he forces your eyes back to him, your breath getting caught in your throat. You’ve never seen this side of him, he was dark and would make you spill it out.
“I’m going to ask you one last time, don’t lie. There’s nothing to be embarrassed over.” He says sternly. “Did you miss me that much that you had to think about my cock inside of you?”
“Yes.” You whisper finally, your voice cracking.
He lets go of your chin and smiles at you. He laid back on your bed as he lit another cigarette, exhaling into the air before chuckling to himself. You felt exposed, you wanted to jump out of your own flesh. He just walked in on you imagining his cock pounding you into the bed, of course you would be embarrassed. You’ve never thought of him like that.
“See? It wasn’t that hard to say it.” He says nonchalantly, calming your nerves quite a bit.
“I’m just so embarrassed. I promise you it wasn’t really like that, I just found it and I was intrigued!” You say with your hands in the air.
“Well if it makes you feel any better, I’d probably do the same thing if you were gone for months.”
Your muscles relax as Eddie speaks, knowing he isn’t judging you one bit for what you were reading. It wasn’t a secret that he liked watching porn, secretly picturing that it was the two of you, so he was understanding that you had your own thing.
Your ears perk up as he says that, every last bit of doubt leaving your body. You look at him confused and he nods confidently. You face him on the bed and take the cigarette from him, inhaling the smoke before handing it back. He finishes it off before putting it out.
“Besides,” He says as he crawls over to you, his hand resting on your cheek. “I’ve been wondering what it was like with you anyway.”
“M-me?” You ask quietly, he smirks with a nod.
“Mhm.” He says, his thumb trailing to your lips. “Plus I know that turned you on. I can see it all over your face, that’s why you felt guilty. I bet your panties are just soaked, aren’t they?”
Your mouth opens slightly, his thumb sliding into your mouth as you wrap your lips around it. He watches as you gently suck his thumb, your tongue swirling around it. He’s got a cocky smirk on his face as he watches you submissively obey him. He didn’t have to say anything and neither did you, but the room’s energy shifts. You both wanted each other more than you could fathom.
“Good girl. You’re gonna listen to me so well, aren’t you?” He chuckles as he pulls his thumb out of your mouth, a quiet whine leaving your lips.
“I knew you were wet.” He groans as his fingers dip into your panties, you gasp quietly as his thumb gently rubs over your swollen nub.
Your hand reaches to his clothed cock but he grabs your wrist and refrained you from moving. You try to wiggle out of his grip but his hand tightens around you.
“Ed’s-“ You whine out, a smirk appearing again.
“You don’t touch until I tell you to.” He growls sternly.
You try to wiggle again but he keeps a hold of your wrist, you were growing agitated with him. You were never this desperate but you couldn’t help yourself. He gets up for a second to remove his jacket, laying it on the chair in front of your laptop, followed by his shoes. You scramble into the floor, sitting on your knees right in front of him.
“What do you think you’re doing sweet girl?” He asks as he towers over you. “You wanna suck me off that bad but you won’t listen?”
“Please Eds, I need you.” You pout and he tuts.
“Yeah? You’re not gonna get it that easy baby. You disobeyed me.”
“Aw baby, you think begging’s gonna do it justice? Isn’t that cute.” He chuckles, your eyes pleading up to him. “This isn’t tumblr. They think I just have slow, sweet sex. Oh honey, that’s not how this is at all. You’re gonna get what they’re all getting wrong. You get to tell them how I actually fuck.”
Your pout stays on your lips as he strolls over to your laptop, you remain on your knees. He opens it up and it’s still on tumblr. He clicks around until he finds your account page and begins scrolling, looking at all of the photos and videos you reblogged on him.
“On my knee.” He orders as he pats his knee.
You walk over to him and straddle his leg like he told you to, his breath fanning the back of your neck as he scrolls. He pauses his scrolling and looks at you, turning your head to face him.
“I’m gonna read everything you posted about me and you’re going to listen. Understood?” He asks and you nod while biting on your bottom lip.
He begins with the last post you had made of him. It was a picture of the two of you when you were in high school.
“The kindest soul you’ll ever meet. You really think that?” He asks out loud and you nod. “That’s sweet. I’ve never had someone say that about me. But let’s continue.”
He reads the one that you reblogged that was a photo of him shirtless on stage with his hair clinging onto him as he’s singing into the mic and strumming his guitar. The caption said fuck the things I would do for this man to choke me out. He smirked to himself and continued scrolling.
“Damn, a whole fucking story. Here we go.” He snickers as he begins reading the words on the screen. You listen as he read every single word, teasing you with the sweet parts.
His hands softly guide your hips in efforts to help you take him in completely, his eyes squeezed shut as your walls welcome him in. His soft whimpers echo in the room as you ride him, he was falling in love with you.
“Aw, look at that. That’s adorable.” He chuckles as he kept reading.
As he continued on, the ache grew stronger. Eddie’s words were deep as he read what he was doing in detail, giving smart remarks at times. You lightly grind down on his leg, trying everything in your power to relieve that pressure without him noticing.
“Oh so me reading this out loud turns you on?” He asks as his right hand trails up your thigh and rests just above your cunt, you nod slightly and he chuckles.
Eddie’s hand dips into your bottoms, gently touching the soaked fabric so he wouldn’t put any relief where you needed him most. He felt how soaked you were and he chuckled, pulling his hand out.
“Take it off baby then come back and we’ll continue.” He says and you nod.
You get off of his thigh and stand in front of him, he watches as you strip. You slide your jeans off and your panties, he pats his leg and you sit on his thigh once more. The rough jean material presses against you and you moan softly. He goes back to reading, your eyes follow his on the screen and you feel his grip tighten on your thigh. His deep voice rang in your ears, the words falling from his tongue was driving you insane.
Your hips began grinding down onto him again, you couldn’t control yourself. It was like your body was disobeying you but god it felt so good to get some sort of relief since he wasn’t making it any easier on you. You try to keep your moans quiet as his jeans rub against your clit, biting your lip and squeezing your eyes closed to focus, but he tilted you chin back down to your laptop and forced you to look.
You had left a wet patch on his thigh, normally you’d be embarrassed, but you were desperate. You wanted him to show you how his cock felt in you, how rough he could be, you wanted him to make you scream.
“Eddie please.” You whisper out as your hips continue their movements.
“What is it baby girl?” He taunts, his hand trailing up to your inner thigh.
“I need you to touch me.”
“I am baby. My hand’s on your leg, isn’t that enough?” He smirks and you shake your head no.
“I need you in me.” You groan.
He cocks an eyebrow and you gulp. You finally spoke up, told him what you needed, but was it enough?
“I’m not sure if you’ve earned it yet sweetheart.” He says as he kisses your neck. “But god I’d love your sweet pussy around my cock right now.”
He moves you off of his thigh and motions you to the bed. You crawl onto the bed and lay on your back, he strips himself out of his jeans and t shirt, leaving him only in his boxers. He gets into bed and climbs over you, his hot breath fans over your face.
Your eyes flick from his to his juicy lips, you couldn’t take it anymore. You pull him in for a kiss, his breath tastes like mint and the cigarettes he had recently smoked with a hint of coffee. The taste alone was addicting, his tongue slides into your mouth, twirling against yours. Your lips and tongues crash like the waves in the ocean, your legs spreading to welcome him in. You feel his hardened cock against your wet core, his teeth grazing on your bottom lip before pulling away.
He slides down your body, his face close to your mound and he looks up to you with a grin on his face. His hands roam your thighs, kneading the flesh with his rough fingertips.
“She’s so wet for me, baby. Practically calling my name.” He growls as his mouth is practically watering from your glistening cunt.
His fingers spread you open, your slick coating you deliciously. He kisses your thighs, biting and sucking on either one. Once he gets back your pussy, he dives in automatically. His tongue trails from your opening to your clit, a loud whine escaping you. The tip of his tongue flicks your clit over and over, driving you absolutely mad. It had been a while since you slept with anyone, you were basically a virgin at this point.
The previous guys you had slept with didn’t give your body any attention like Eddie is. He had just began and you were already so close and fuck was it better than you had imagined. He wrapped his lips around your clit, suckling on it before releasing it, his tongue flicking it once more.
“God Eddie!” You groan, your fingers gripping your bed sheets in pleasure.
“You taste so fucking sweet it’s addicting. Anyone ever make you feel this good baby girl?” He asks, sliding two fingers into your hole, hooking onto your g-spot as he stretches you out.
“N-no. Nobody but you.” You reply truthfully, causing his ego to boost.
He dove back in, sucking and licking your clit as his fingers work inside you. You moan loudly, your hips bucking against his mouth and hand involuntarily, he knew how close you were. As you cry out his name, he withdraws from you, a gasp coming out of your mouth from the sudden lack of him.
“I want you to finish on my cock honey. You can do that for me, can’t you?” He says as he slides himself out of his boxers.
“Yes.” You reply with a nod.
“Yes what?”
“Yes sir.”
“Good girl.” He coos.
He gathers some of your slick onto his hand before pumping himself a few times, rubbing the tip against your clit and your hole, but no entering you yet. After he noticed how irritable you were growing because you needed him, he sank into you. You both moan in unison as you feel him stretching you, your walls adapting to his size rather size.
He didn’t bother starting off slow, after all, this wasn’t tumblr. He gave you a moment to adjust before pulling almost completely out and slamming himself back into you, knocking the breath out of you. His thrusts were harsh, your tits were covered but he pulled up your shirt so he could watch them bounce as he fucked into you.
“God, you’re so fucking big.” You moan, your lids heavy as you look him in the eyes.
“You’re taking me so well like the slut you are baby.” He grunts, thrusting into you with all of his force. “Might need to take you with me on the road just so I can fuck you. Is that what you want? You wanna be my whore?”
You were already cockdrunk and couldn’t answer him. His mushroom tip hitting every single inch of you, your fingers tangling in his hair and pulling roughly. With you pulling his hair, a deep desperate moan comes out of Eddie’s mouth and he chuckles.
“You found what I like, not a lot of girls do.” He chuckles, his hands gripping your hips to thrust even harder into you. “You’re gonna be my whore. You wanna be my dirty little slut? Let everyone know how good I’m fucking you on the bus?”
You try to respond, the only thing coming out was a loud moan as he slaps your cheek roughly.
“Answer me when I ask you something.” He orders.
“Oh fuck- Yes! God yes, I’ll be your fucking slut Eddie!” You cry out, his hand now squeezing the sides of your throat.
Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he continues fucking into you, moaning with each slap he had given you. You didn’t know you liked pain but Eddie brought out that beast in you. He was falling for you fast with every moan, every cry, every scream of his name that escaped you. He hardly slept with anyone when he was on the road, but he’d imagine that the girl was you any time he would.
“Good girl, you’re taking me so well. Those little stories were wrong, weren’t they?”
“Yes sir!”
“Fuck, I love when you call me that. I’m gonna make you scream it so loud that the entire fucking town knows my name more than they already do.”
You looked up at him, his mouth hung open as he watched you from above, your fingers attaching to your clit as you rub circles with his thrusts. You stick your tongue out, collecting the spit before swallowing it with a sinister grin. He didn’t know what had taken over you, all he knew was that you liked it.
He flipped you over your hands and knees, continuing to fuck you as you arched your back. He watches the way your ass jiggles with every thrust. One hand grips your hip tightly as the other makes a makeshift ponytail with your hair, pulling your head back harshly. The sounds of your moans and his cock mixed with your arousal echos into your ears, you never wanted this moment to end.
“You- fuck- you take my cock so well. You’re the perfect slut, baby. Such a good fucking whore for me.” He praises between his groans. “Can’t wait to fucking take you with me and show everyone whose girl you are. Make everyone jealous that I’m fucking your sweet pussy and that it’s all for me.”
“And that your cock is only mine.” You chime in and he hand a proud grin. “That I’m the best girl for you- fuck- that I’m all yours.”
“All mine. You think they’d think you’re a good slut, fucking your best friend beside them?” He adds on, you moan out with a frantic nod. “I think they’d get jealous.”
His thrusts gets sloppier the more he talks to you, your legs are shaking at his point and you were getting closer, as was he.
“Your little tumblr friends will get jealous once they know how good I fuck you, isn’t that right doll?”
“Oh fuuuuuck- Ed’s!” You cry out.
Your body tenses and you squeeze around his cock, his cock twitches and immediately spills his cum into you as your release spills onto him. You both curse and moan simultaneously, your orgasms running through your body.
He pulls out of you with ease before grabbing a towel, cleaning you up alongside him. Once he was dressed and you slide your pjs on, he grabbed a couple of waters from the kitchen and made his way back into your room.
“Are you okay?” He asks concerned as you lay there in a daze.
“I’m more than okay.” You giggly breathlessly, taking the water from him. “But yes I’d love to go on the road with you if you’d actually want me to.”
He slides into the sheets and kisses your forehead with a smile.
“I’d love for you to come with me. We can do this more often.” He smiles. “On one condition though.”
“What’s that?” You ask.
“You write about everything that just happened.”
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sehnsuchts-trunken · 2 months
Jake Seresin And The Unfortunate Hat Situation
jake seresin x fem!reader 3k words
summary: You’re visiting Jake’s family in Texas for the first time and so far, it’s been going well. Just that Jake may have forgotten to mention the hat rule. 
another cowboy fic because i fucking can
disclaimer: strong allusions to smut. im not kidding. this is basically straight up dirty talk all the way through
a/n: i’m warning you once about all the inaccuracies in here and thats it. read at your own risk. i have literally no clue whatsoever about texas and/or cowboys and did not have it in me to research cowboy history for hours on end, like- i tried, okay? i really did try. i know facts about cowboy hats now that i never felt the need to know (though “dont sleep with your cowboy hat on”, um... yeah? thanks? i totally would have done that otherwise) but i still do not have the information to back this shit up lmao
top gun masterlist
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(yes i did have to use an everybody wants some gif. during the past week ive rewatched this film more times than i can count and i will take every opportunity i get to talk about it)
“Enlighten me”, you chuckled, spreading your arms, a bottle of beer in your right hand. “Why are none of the cowboys wearing cowboy hats? Isn’t that kind of their thing?”
You were visiting Texas for the first time - a week off of work, away from the Navy and the Dagger Squad for a bit, to meet Jake’s friends and family back home. You’d talked to most every one of them over the phone whenever he had found the time to call, but you’d never actually met them in person before this. So it had been an adventure from the start: getting on a plane in San Diego to take you to Texas where Jake had grown up, being picked up at the airport by his mother, driving two hours to the farm they owned (”You grew up on a farm?”, you’d asked when he’d told you, wheezing at the mental image of teenage Jake herding sheep), meeting his dad, being surprised by both his sisters, getting to see his childhood bedroom. 
And then, to top it off: the sound of his alarm at the crack of dawn this morning to go teach you how to ride a horse. 
Needless to say that you’d been buzzing with nervous energy for the past few days. Not that you weren’t happy - it was just all a bit much at once. 
After lunch he’d taken you into the city and you’d gone shopping for some real cowboy boots. He’d planned to take you to a bar in the evening, to introduce you to some friends. After all you only had a week here and neither of you felt like missing out on something. 
When you’d wanted to try cowboy hats in the store too, Jake had snatched them from you and grabbed your hands, pulling you close to him, telling you that you’d get one when you’d become a real cowgirl. Since you doubted that would ever happen, you’d pouted and tried to convince him with kisses and, when that hadn’t worked, half-hearted threats, but he wouldn’t be persuaded even the slightest. He’d only looked down at you with raised eyebrows until you’d caved and satisfied yourself with cursing under your breath. 
So here you were: Cowboy boots, jeans shorts and a button-up and no cowboy hat in sight. 
Actually, there was one in sight. Jake was wearing his, in all his Texan glory, laughing with some of his friends at the bar. The thing was, he was the only guy wearing his hat. There were some cowboys strutting about with them on their heads, but most of them didn’t have one - hat hair, yes, but no hat. Hence your initial question: “Why are none of the cowboys wearing cowboy hats?” 
“Shit, Jake didn’t tell you?”, Kendra - one of Jake’s only female friends here, who’d immediately decided she liked you and pulled you to one of the tables for some girl talk - let out a laugh. “No wonder it’s still on his head. We were getting worried already.” 
It was pretty clear to everyone that you weren’t from around here, so you saw no reason to hide your confusion.
“Now you’ve lost me entirely. What?”, you asked, masking your frown with a laugh. You’d been here for hardly two days and you didn’t think you’d felt as embarrassed ever before. You knew about literally nothing. At least you’d done somewhat well at horseback riding, which could’ve been because of Jake’s arms around you and his hands over yours as you - he - held the reins, but either way you were proud of yourself for not falling off and landing on your ass. 
“It’s like this: Ladies didn’t wear hats for a really long time. Cowboys wore the hats. So when you saw a lady with a cowboy hat on - that was her man’s. A sign that she belonged to him. Property shit and all.” She waved it off as if dismissing the concept. “Changed over the past few decades, of course. Better that way too. Ladies can wear whatever they want now. But the thought kind of stuck. You see a guy without a hat, he’s probably taken. You see a girl with a hat, that’s probably her man’s. And before you ever steal a hat, you should know the hat rule.” 
You raised your eyebrows. Your stomach did weird little flips as she talked. Jake hadn’t explained any of this to you. 
“The hat rule?”, you asked. Kendra grinned and leaned in, pretending to let out some big secret. 
“You wear the hat”, she said and paused for a second for dramatic effect, “You wear the cowboy.” 
You breathed out. 
Oh my ass, you thought. 
Jake hadn’t let you buy your own hat for a reason. And then he’d gone ahead and not given you that reason. What the actual fuck. 
You would’ve loved to wear his hat. You would’ve loved the thought of him claiming you like that, letting you wear his hat, showing everyone that yeah, you were Jake Seresin’s girl. But no. He’d left you completely in the dark, hadn’t let a single word slip. And he was still wearing that goddamn hat himself. 
Like a single fucking guy, not a man in a loving relationship.
Somehow, now that you knew, you were more annoyed by the fact that he was wearing it than that he just hadn’t told you at all. God, he could’ve left it at home. He could’ve taken it off. He could’ve just put it on your head without telling you why if he didn’t want to. 
And right there, that was the part you just didn’t understand. Why hadn’t he told you? He should have known you well enough by now to realise that you would absolutely adore wearing that hat. Not only because you wanted to wear a hat (which you did) but also because you wanted to wear his hat (which you did even more). After all, it wasn’t only him claiming you - it was you claiming him as well. And as horrible as the history of that hat rule was, in this present day you felt like it would only have been fair of him to tell you. You wanted to have that chance of showing him off. Of him showing you off, which he did so happily back in San Diego. 
“Hey”, Kendra said, her expression a bit more serious as she put a hand to your arm and pulled you from your thoughts. “I’m sure Jake didn’t mean to hurt you. He may seem like a bastard, but he’s actually a real sweetheart.” 
You snorted at her, nodding along. 
“He is”, you agreed. “Which is kind of why it hurts even more. I don’t get why he wouldn’t just tell me. It’s not like he’s ever been scared I’d say no to him or something.”
Kendra smiled and squeezed your arm reassuringly. 
“Try not to worry about it too much. Just ask him when you get home later, yeah? Communication is key.” Her smile turned into a grin. She winked at you. “And hey, you can always wear my hat if you’d like.” 
You forced yourself to smile as well as you took a sip of your beer. “If I actually were single, I’d definitely take you up on that offer, but I’m not, and I don’t think Jake would like it much.” 
Her grin only deepened. She had dimples, you realised, and the hat on her head matched her eye colour. You were glad to have her here with you. She was someone you were sure you could become good friends with over time. 
“That makes it even better”, she said conspicuously. She leaned back in her chair, crossing her ankles over the edge of the table as she tipped her hat back. “He never told you about the hats. You don’t know anything in his eyes, honey. Use it against him.” 
There was a twinkle in her gaze that told you she was looking for nothing short of mischief and you had the distinct feeling that she’d been the ‘bad influence’ on Jake in high school that he’d talked about so often. She seemed like a troublemaker. But she also seemed genuine. And she was right - in Jake’s eyes, you were getting to know one of his friends, talking about some girly stuff (which he probably assumed was himself), having a nice night. Not learning about cowboy customs that he’d just so forgotten to mention. 
Jake usually didn’t get jealous. He trusted you the same way you trusted him. But he got possessive nonetheless - always with a hand on your back when you were talking to someone he thought was flirting with you, kissing you at the most inappropriate times, making sure that everyone knew you were his. Now he’d had the goddamn chance and hadn’t taken it. And you didn’t fucking know why. 
But you were damn determined to find out. 
Kendra slid the hat off her head and offered it to you. You took one deep breath before you reached for it. 
You let your fingertips skip over the rim for a moment. Were you really about to do this? Then you put it on your head. 
Alright. If Jake wasn’t going to tell you about the way this worked on his own accord, you’d make him tell you. 
Kendra emptied her beer and you followed suit before the both of you got up. She grabbed both bottles in one hand, turning to you to send you another of those winks. 
“I’ll bring these back to the bar and get us new ones. The dancefloor’s all yours.” 
With a nervous smile, you adjusted your newly aqcuired hat and made your way onto the dancefloor. There was soft music playing in the background - country, of course, loud but not loud enough to disturb conversation. It wasn’t late enough for that just yet. Which was honestly a relief, since you had zero clue whatsoever about line dancing or whatever it was they did down here. This way there were only a few couples twirling each other back and forth and some people moving to the beat all on their own. You let out a breath and closed your eyes, allowing yourself to really feel the music: the guitar, the steady drums, the vocals. 
Slowly, you started swaying - from one side to the other, turning, twirling, one step, then the next, heels here, toes there. A grin was making its way onto your face. The music grew, not as much in volume as in pace, and you didn’t know just when you had started to forget about everything except your movements (like the people watching, for example), but then the song changed and you gasped as you realised you knew it. Eyes fluttering open, hands coming together to clap, lips twisting into an actual laugh as you sang along, catching Kendra’s gaze and waving her over. 
She joined you with a laugh, grabbed your hand to twirl you around, and god, her voice was heavenly. For just a split second you wondered how Jake hadn’t ended up falling for her. You certainly would have. 
And speaking - more like thinking, but whatever - of the devil, you felt an all too familiar hand on your shoulder. You turned at the same time that Kendra let go of you, allowing you to admire your boyfriend in all his furious glory. 
Not that he actually looked furious. Not to anyone but you, not with that facade he wore whenever anyone got under his skin. But you, well... You’d been with him long enough to understand that twitch of his jaw, that tension in his shoulders, that flicker in his eyes. And yet - the cowboy hat still sat on his head. 
“I got it from here, Kendra”, he said, eyes fixed on yours, as you held your breath. She snorted, but still made to move away, muttering something under her breath that you didn’t catch. Then Jake spoke again. “Take your hat, Kendra.” 
He grabbed it from where it rested on your head and threw it at her without looking away from you. She sucked in a breath. 
“If you throw my hat again, I’ll kick your ass, Seresin”, she said and you could tell that even though they were friends, she wasn’t kidding. Shit, the people here were really fucking serious about their hats. Another reason why you were mad at Jake for not telling you about any of it. 
“Next time, don’t set it on my girl’s head”, he growled - growled, really, you didn’t know what else to call it. She scoffed and walked off. 
“How could she know I was your girl?”, you whispered, challenging him even though he already looked like you’d crossed some line that he’d drawn without telling you. “How could anyone?” 
For a few moments, he kept quiet. You defiantly stared up at him. Should he think whatever he fucking wanted to, this was entirely his fault. 
Then something changed in his expression. 
“You found out about the hat rule”, he said, “And the first thing you did was go and put on somebody else’s.” 
“Well if my boyfriend doesn’t want to have me wear his hat-” 
You couldn’t react as quickly as Jake had gripped you by the waist and pulled you close to him, forcing you to tip your head back to keep looking at him. He was, in fact, so close now that you could just kiss him and honestly, you were tempted. Just as tempted as you’d been when he’d come out of the bathroom looking like that, just as tempted as you’d been when you’d left the house, just as tempted as you’d been in his truck. But you were also stubborn. And you had good reasons not to kiss him right now (even though they were getting harder and harder to remember by the second).
“Darling, I’d go wild for you with my hat on.” 
You swallowed. Hard. 
“So why am I not wearing it?”, you asked through gritted teeth. You couldn’t quite believe just how easily this whole situation was getting under your skin. But it seriously hurt your ego - and not just that. The fact that Jake hadn’t told you about something so important in his hometown, some, as ridiculous as it may be, piece of culture, something that would so clearly show everyone that you were dating him, really, actually, seriously dating him, stung more than you wanted to admit. It was like someone had asked him outright if he was taken and he’d said no. 
“‘Cause I told you to wait”, he drawled, “Didn’t I? Wait ‘til you’re a real cowgirl.” 
Curiosity and frustration were mixing in your stomach, a weird, dangerous combo. You grabbed for his collar, pulling on it just a bit too hard - nothing he couldn’t stand his ground against. You were feeling insulted by all this and you found that you should let him know. 
“What’s a girl like me gotta do to become one in your eyes, hm, Hangman?” 
Hangman. You only called him that when you meant business. It was like a mother using her child’s full name whenever it got in serious trouble. Jake stiffened, fingers digging into your hips so firmly that you were sure you’d be able to see the marks in the mirror later on. You’d hit a nerve. Always did when you called him by his callsign. No more Jake, no more baby, none of that. 
“Behave”, he said, eyes fixed on yours, that one word carrying so much more meaning. You didn’t care. For once, you really didn’t fucking care. You wanted him riled up, wanted him furious, wanted him right at this breaking point. So you smiled.  
“Like a dog?” 
He’d smashed his lips on yours before you could react. 
All teeth and tongue, decisive, possessive, angry. You didn’t want to give in as quickly as you did. But he hardly left you a choice - he was everywhere, arms wrapped so tightly around you, chest pressed so firmly against yours, not giving you the option to escape, to duck away, to tease him any further. So instead of doing that, instead of making him run after you more, you let him have the control. All of it. Instead of turning, instead of making him chase you, you pulled him close to you by his collar with all the force you could manage, pulled him into you, pulled him with you as you stumbled backwards from the sudden change of weight, put your entire trust in him to keep you upright. You couldn’t breathe. You didn’t want to if that meant letting go. 
Not with how much emotion you were putting into this fucking kiss. 
Jake was the one to break away first. Pupils blown, cheeks reddened (you were sure you looked even worse), panting. You loosened your grip on his collar and ran a hand through your hair instead. 
Somewhere in the back of your head, you remembered that you were still in a bar, still in the middle of the dancefloor, still under the watchful eyes of his friends. A different part was screaming at you to fuck it and fuck him right here, right now. 
“Shit”, he breathed, resting his forehead against yours. His hat let a shadow fall over both your faces. “You’re gon’ be the death of me someday.” 
“Hopefully not too soon”, you teased, a smile playing on your lips as he pulled back just a bit. “I still gotta find out how to become a cowgirl after all.” 
The corner of his mouth quirked up as well. He raised his eyebrows, examining you for a second. 
“You really wanna know, sweetheart?” 
You let out a laugh. “Fuck yeah.” 
He leaned in close, breath ghosting over the shell of your ear, and you had to swallow. This felt intimate, somehow. 
“You’re gon’ be a cowgirl once you rode your cowboy.” 
Your breath caught in your throat. He pulled back with a grin. Smug, you realised. He was so fucking proud of himself for this - for having caught you off guard like that. You couldn’t let him win that easily. Not with that already inflated ego. 
“All of this just to get me into your bed?”, you chuckled. “Damn, Seresin. Lotta work for no reason, hm? I’m in it at the end of every day anyway.” 
He shrugged - as best as he could with his hands still on your waist. 
“What can I say? I aim to please.” 
You couldn’t help but grin too. The angry, sizzling tension had dissolved into something much more pleasant, much more dizzying. Something that set your skin ablaze and your mind on fire. You grabbed one of his hands from your waist and intertwined your fingers with his. 
“Want to get out of here?”, you asked. He leaned in and kissed you with a smile - slow and steady and sensual, wholly different from before. 
When he pulled back, you were breathless again. 
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