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pleasereadmeok · 3 years

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This ‘Wonderland’ Interview to promote A Single Man is a gem. Matthew Goode is a bit of a handful and swears his way through this interview with his mate Nic Hoult. It’s very funny. It’s often quoted (including his description of Colin Firth’s kissing technique!) but it’s difficult to find a clean scan of the whole interview. This scan (from Natalie/ Fairchilds on ohnotheydidnt) isn’t very clear to read so I did a transcript several years ago - here:-

Wonderland Interview

Based on the 1964 novel by Christopher Isherwood, A Single Man marks the screenwriting and directing debut of fashion icon, Tom Ford. Having debuted earlier this year at the Venice Film Festival to a standing ovation, the film has continued to impress audiences during screening at the Toronto and London Film Festivals.

Joining lead actor, Colin Firth, on screen are fellow Brits Matthew Goode and Nicholas Hoult who discuss the film, Tom Ford and being British in LA.

ON A SINGLE MAN

Nicholas Hoult: The only time I saw Matthew was when we were getting our spray tans.

Matthew Goode: Which were more regular than we were expecting. I got on a plane with Colin [Firth] and then literally the moment we arrived, got in the car together, went to the hotel and suddenly – it’s like ten thirty at night – we have to go to Colin’s room where we’re having our spray tans . Colin Firth is in his pants, I’m in my pants and it stays that way for an hour whilst we wait for this stuff to set. He’s fucking great. I love Colin.

We [Nic’ and he] never had a scene together but we were there the whole time. I was only really fitting in around these guys. Nic had a damn sight more to do than I did.

NH: No I just did more.

MG: [Laughs] It was a really fun shoot. I mean, maybe I’m looking back with rose tinted spectacles, but …

NH: It was a good fun shoot. Everyone enjoyed it. I remember the night in Venice after seeing it in front of all those people and just lying in bed thinking ‘that’s something I’m proud of’.

MG: It’s seriously impressive. You watch it and you care and, it doesn’t happen to me a lot, but I watched it and thought ‘I’m in something that doesn’t stink!’. I’m proud of that.

NH: That’s a nice feeling when you’ve done something and you can say ‘yeah, proud of that’.

MG: Fucking hell – sorry to interrupt – but I was reading a magazine or a paper or something the other day and it said “A Single Man obviously being screened and whenever Nic Hoult was on screen there were gasps over his beauty” [laughs]. And I was thinking, fucking Hoult is going to LA and get so laid! [Laughs]. He is going to be turning bush away left right and centre!

NH: It’s all down to the fake tan again. That’s where the performance stems for me.

MG: That is a review!

NH: Nothing about the acting, right?

MG: They didn’t review the film. It just said “I saw it. I’m going to be reviewing it at some point, but let me tell you there were gasps over Nick Hoult’s beauty!”

ON TOM FORD

MG: Tom is immediately interesting. If it’s all about someone’s cannon of work then most of the time you wouldn’t work with a first ime director, but if the script is good and you have a chat with them and they know which end is up and which is down, then great.

NH: I didn’t know who Tom was when I met him.

MG: Nick “fashion forward” Hoult!

NH: I’d gone over to LA got off a plane and had dinner with him. And I asked him how he’d got into directing and why he was doing this!

MG: I love that. Isn’t that great? And that’s also like Tom. He’s not the sort of person who is like, ‘well fuck you!’.

NH: He explained very humbly what he had done and I thought OK. And then I looked him up after dinner and was ‘oh jesus! He’s actually accomplished quite a lot’ so probably quite a stupid question, but he was very honest and modest and made a great director.

MG: It’s so good. And so good for Colin. And Julianne [Moore] is bloody great in it as well. But the real star of it, it has to be said, is Tom. It silences immediately the people who were going ‘you self indulgent cunt.’ It’s like two massive fingers up to them as it is very, very accomplished.

NH: It’s very personal to him as well.

MG: Hugely personal as the main story sort of mirror images the relationship between him and Richard. There’s a similar age gap.

NH: He would always say my character is him when he was 18. He’s connected to every character and he knows them.

MG: And he wrote the screenplay and it’s starkly different from the book.

NH: Matthew’s read the book, so –

MG: That’s right! I have. It is different. I am always about the script, really. But one of the really nice things about being involved is that it is a love poem to Tom’s partner, Richard.

NH: Tom is very good in the sense that he is an actor’s director and knows what he wants you to do but is very giving to let you go off and explore things and try stuff out. And you don’t feel too much pressure of failure.

MG: That’s very true.

NH: ‘Cause the second you’re on set – especially when there’s only 20 days to shoot – to not feel the pressure, that’s a good atmosphere he created. Something his assistant was saying the other day was that he’s very good at holding his hands up and would admit when he wasn’t sure what he was doing and kept everyone on side and made it a really great team effort.

MG: I love it when someone’s like that. It’s so far away from self indulgent as well when someone’s shooting into the 19th hour of the day and the ship isn’t sinking, but there’s a leak and it’s far better to say we do have a leak and I’m trying to sort it out rather than leaning on one side and saying everything is fine. He is fucking great.

ON COLIN FIRTH

MG: Colin was great. I knew he was going to be good. The moment I read the script, I was like, ‘this is something you haven’t done in a long time’ – just something he could really get his teeth into. He’s such a subtle actor and it’s been a long time since I can remember him having something that central and serious.

NH: It was a great moment when we went to the Venice Film Festival and got the message Colin was winning the best actor award.

MG: I know. The previous evening we had sat there and we knew it had gone down well because there was a NINE minute standing ovation. And particularly when you’re not in the film as much as I am, then I feel like a fucking charlatan. I stood there and am looking down and smiling and embarrassed. Colin’s quite emotional and I tell you what – four minutes of a standing ovation gets a bit uncomfortable, but NINE? ‘OK, Colin… fucking move. Let’s go. Let’s leave.’ And he couldn’t tell us that he had won and so he was being shy about it.

NH: Yeah, he kept it very quiet.

MG: The moment we found out and we were on the boat we were like ‘What the fuck? You’ve won and you didn’t tell us!? And he was like ‘ I know, I didn’t wanna.’ He was humble.

NH: It was great. It was a bit of an odd first day like you had in the sense that I had to strip off in front of Colin on my first day. It sounds a bit seedy when I say ‘strip off in front of him’.

MG: It does!

NH: It’s part of the film, I swear! And it’s handled a lot more tastefully that that might seem, but yeah it was a bit of an odd first day.

MG: Everyone is going to say ‘oh it’s a gay movie’ which we then counteract with ‘no it’s not, it’s a film about love.’ But there is nudity and a bit of man kissing. Frankly Colin kisses like a nymphomaniac on death row, but it was a real pleasure!

NH: He’s got a lot of love!

ON JULIANNE MOORE

MG: She’s a fucking hero. She’s lovely. I didn’t have any scenes with her. I mean I’m only in flashback, so all my stuff was with Colin.

NH: All my stuff is with Colin as well. The first time I met Julianne was in Venice.

MG: Yeah, she was probably in the middle of juggling six projects or something, you know, she never stops working. She came in and shot two scenes, which were about 20 odd minutes of the film, and they did that in two evenings so she was in and out. I never got a chance to meet her until I was at some party in LA and she is just fantastic. And she’s married to a guy called Bart Freadlich who is a director in his own right.

NH: He’s a hero.

MG: He is actually fabulous! My girlfriend spent the whole evening calling him Bert instead of Bart and he was like ‘you know, actually I prefer Bert! Don’t worry about it’. He’s lovely. They could throw their weight around, but they are actually family people and live in New York – they’re kind of anti Hollywood.

ON THE LIFE OF AN ACTOR

MG: There are a lot of Brits and Aussies at the moment who are working. I don’t know what that means. But we never think of ourselves. When you get off the plane and you’re in America they ask ‘what’s the best thing about being a movie star?’ I am a jobbing actor, they have no idea! They make it sound like I get 500 scripts and am sitting there going through them all. If something comes up and they are stupid enough to give it to us or you love the script and audition but someone of a huge stature can come in and take it like Brad Pitt. Or Judi [Dench] – we’ve been up against each other a couple of times.

NH: I’ve never lost out to Judi yet.

MG: Only in a drinking contest! The vicious alcoholic that she is!

NH: Sam Worthington was telling me when he was in LA someone asked him why there were so many Aussies over there doing so well and his response was that it’s an awful long way to go to fail and not give it your best shot, basically.

MG: Oh. I was expecting some sort of knob gag in there, but yeah.

NH: It’s very true. I just got back from LA and every TV series has an English guy in the lead. Joseph Fiennes, Matthew Reece [RHYS]

MG: We’re good. We’re quite good…

N H: I can’t say it’s the training, because I don’t have any.

MG: You’re doing well! You make people gasp! You complete cunt. I hate that!

NH: You’re coming across very eloquent.

MG: That’s very nice of you. OK, who used to live with Ewan McGregor and Jude Law and he has a TV show? You’re right about that. Though it makes it sound like ‘Oh you’re English. Have a TV show’. I’m sure they all have about ten auditions.

NH: I had an interesting day recently when I was at a BBQ and Jimmy Page and Roger Daltrey were there.

MG: Wow!

NH: I sat there and was very quiet because I thought if I speak to them I’ll make a fool of myself so it’s best to keep out of the way and then they can’t have any bad thoughts although they probably didn’t know I was there. But I knew they were there so it was a good BBQ for me.

MG: I’d love to learn guitar. It’s one of those things I’d love to do. Though it’s not like I don’t have the time…

NH: [Laughs]

MG: I’d like to know all the chords.

NH: It’s difficult to get the fingering right… That’s what she said.

MG: And back to Dame Judi!

NH: [Laughs]

MG: It depends if you have a high action or a low action in terms of the strings. It hurts. You’ve got to build up the calluses. If you get a low action one that would be easier.

NH: Are we still talking about women?

MG: Yes! [Laughs] I remember Billy Crudup got the part in Almost Famous and he had lessons with Peter Frampton but had to have lessons on the side because Peter was like ‘you are fucking terrible’. But that’s one of the nice accidents of the job is you can get training in things. And random travel.

NH: I got to do archery.

MG: You did! That was The Weatherman!

NH: No, for Clash of the Titans. I didn’t use it once.

MG: Oh yes, it was the daughter in The Weatherman.

NH: Yeah man, keep up.

MG: Sorry mate. That’s how pretty you are. I confused you with the female lead.

NH: He’s seen all my work.

MG: I have! I’ve got to learn how to do it. You are a master. I did a Spanish film and it was all in Spanish [!] – I learnt it phonetically. Jesus, that’s my only skill. The major skill I picked up is I can pay my rent. The older you get the more you realize there are a lot of people who hate their jobs. I’m so glad I’m not – ha! Famous last words! – it does seem to be going OK for now. But bringing it back to what do you like about acting – to be honest, everything.

ON BRITISH TALENT

MG: I think there is an element that we’re just so happy to work. Certainly as for getting into film it was such an accident because I hadn’t worked in front of a camera. For a while it was like what is the secret code to working on screen? I have no idea what it is… but even ten films in I’m still sitting here renting and not owning a house. I think that keeps you grounded. As opposed to some American actors who are on a hundred thousand dollars doing some TV.

NH: You don’t get comfortable so you feel you’ve got to keep on striving.

MG: I think we’re overrated. [Laughs]. There is an element over there if you walk into a room of Americans that they’re suddenly like ‘oh fuck they’re British and we’re steeped in tradition.

NH: It’s odd that Tom got so many English actors for the film – we’re both playing American.

MG: And Julianne is playing English.

NH: it’s good he trusts in us to pull of the American accents.

MG: Yeah, I mean – idiot! In fairness you’ve done it before and I have done it a couple of times. But it is odd. If you think who he probably could have had –

NH: He probably could have done better than us!

MG: I’m sure he could have convinced someone with a much higher stature. I think it was just we were willing to work for free, effectively. And that’s also what makes Britain great. We want to work and we want to please the director and often at times, yes we might have strong thoughts on character and script, but we turn up and are like, this is your vision and you are the director and we know where we fit in. Certainly the Brits, I find, we want to be told what to do or how it’s going to work rather than, ‘I’m the fucking star!’ I tend to find we leave our ego at the door. We tend not to pussyfoot around. We all like a drink. We’re steeped in that tradition as well. There’s a certain forbidden thing in America if you drink you’re an alcoholic. No I’m not, and I generally wait until at least half past one.

NH: On weekends. Weekdays, 11.

MG: There is a reason pubs are opened at 11 and it’s because you are allowed to start drinking at that time. Otherwise, they wouldn’t do it! Christ, can you remember back to when – you might not remember, actually. I gasp at your beauty as I try to remember!

NH:[laughs] I’m never going to live this down!

MG:Do you remember when pubs shut on Sundays at, like, 1 for two or three hours? Maybe I’m showing my age now. That is fucking madness. There would be a riot now.

NH: So basically, we haven’t found a conclusion to what makes Britain great… You’re a big X Factor fan though, aren’t you?

MG: My girlfriend loves it. She’s got me into it. I mean it’s fucking hilarious. You literally sit there and you don’t know any of these people but the music comes up and they get selected and you can be in tears and so happy that these people have been selected for the live shows. I really like the over 25’s this year. They’re fucking great.

NH: Matthew Goode on The X Factor!

MG: ‘He’s very much into the over 25s and what is funny is they are all male’. But it is great. But then it’s such a machine. There is such a turn around. Sometimes the winner gets completely forgotten and they have no career and then, obviously, sometimes they go shooting up. But it is great telly! Saturday night, a couple of beers and The X Factor.

[Pics - My edit of Ben Rayner photos/scan by Natalie Fairchild.]

#matthew goode #nic hoult #a single man #a discovery of witches #adow #just in case ADOW fans are interested - it's a stretch I know.........

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redxblueihateloveyou · 4 years

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You know it's always really funny to me when mhs say that had it not been for swimming Haru and Rin would've never become friends bc I'm like, that's how relationships work???? You initially connect bc of something you have in common and go from there???? In that case you can also apply it to mh bc if Haru and Makoto had not been neighbors since they were young they probably would've never become friends either, but nobody wants to mention that bc then their argument crumbles lol

Anyways, your blog is literally the best and your rh (and general) takes are always so nice to read

I'm... same, I just do not understand what’s new about this? Like my mom and dad met while they were both working at school, if I started talking with a guy cause he told me that he liked my chibi Akashi bag and anime, is this not allowed? This in no way means that that’s all we like about each other or smth, this means this one thing brought us together.

This is the reason why I dislike mh fans so much. Because the majority of them instead of posting some canon facts and truthful arguments, they either twist some words into something unrecognizable, either try to change a rh moment into mh. I just always thought ppl ship things for what they are, not what they are not...

And the main problem in this happening and the error in their equation is Haru. Cause they’re trying so hard to sew him into that but with everything he says and do he constantly falls off and they end up with mako-haha. It’s like they say that Makoto is the reason that Haru walks into his future, which is hilarious tbh, and the next movie airs and what do you know Haru is yelling at Rin’s face how “he only walks towards the future and wants it bc of him”, they say that s2 relay teams are what they truly want which everyone knows ain’t true and boom drama airs and Haru and Rin are talking how it’s not the same if they’re not together on the team. They air all the birthday stories and oh no, Rin is special again. I remember how they were running around after that frfr! episode, where Rin tries to make Haru laugh and Makoto says he actually already heard it before and turns out it was kid Haru’s evil laugh in his sleep at school. Like what is so special about that? And how is this mh related? Haru was cutely laughing watching Rin sleep and just reading his text.. that’s yeah, that’s the reason to fuss.

Their problem is always Haru, he never fits their mh plan like ever. But do they listen to him? No. Because we have a moment IN THE ANIME, where Haru says “RIN, I WANT TO BE LIKE YOU, TOO.” meaning he wants to be as brave/daring/passionate, etc. cause Rin represents freedom for him. Okay, I’d get why some needed me to post an arguments list for “Rin doesn’t like Haru only for his swimming”, which is still hilarious to me, but okay, he does have a kink in books about Haru moving in the water and goes about it for several pages, but with Haru this is actually not the case.

I don’t know if anyone noticed it, but swimming is not what attracts Haru the most about Rin and never was. It’s his character and state of mind and the way he makes him feel aka free. It doesn’t matter what they do, like whether they eat their rolls or draw new years fortunes. Haru said his whole body is on fire just when he looks at Rin and he doesn’t even notice how he starts smiling when Rin talks to him. It’s just the way he makes him feel. And swimming has nothing to do with that. Sorry, guys lmao.

Did they seriously just erase this moment, when Rin writes how he wants swim as fast as Haru in his letter, but Haru looks at the sky and he has this kaleidoscope of Rin’s pic in his mind and what he says next is "Rin, I want to be like you, too.”

And he means what he says. It’s not about the swimming truly, he admires the fact that Rin follows his dreams with such passionate determination. Mind the fact that moments of Rin that flash before his eyes in this moment a) when Rin openly gushes about Haru’s swimming in front of everyone; b) when he yells in front of the whole class that if he wants a relay with Haru, he will bloody get it; c) his swimming; d) when he tells Haru that he’s a sight he never saw before he’s gonna show him the sight he’s never seen before. It’s about how what Rin wants, Rin fights for until he gets it. Haru is in love with his passion, always was, always will be.

Haru doesn’t want to “swim like Rin” although they did compliment each other by saying “I find your strength amazing” “but I find your stamina amazing”, and Haru always drools about the power behind Rin’s strokes, but Haru swims in his own beautiful way. And while he adores the way Rin swims, that’s still not his favorite thing about Rin and never was. Every time he talks about Rin it’s always about his personality and surprisingly... it’s rarely about swimming. When he thinks about Rin it’s always stuff like... how he is so colorful and intense and full of life and passionate about his dreams and how he stands out among everyone else to him, not about his swimming skills.

So this argument is dumb AF tbh. I’m like.. yeah, and Lan Zhan loves Wei Ying for his demonic cultivation skills. Not because of his strong character, daring heart and his incredible ability to tick him off and light his cold ass on fire.

P.S. Seriously tho this is the first shipping base I see who just always for some reason does this stupid thing with finding a crumb and actively trying to make it into a bread but then realise it’s realistically impossible so they just replace it with a plastic one and pretend it’s real. This in fact makes your ship ridiculous. You can’t try to push the line that Rin is abusive (thats still lol) and how Makoto is better for Haru, since Rin did everything to make Haru reach his dream and made him happy and he’s the only one who can help Haru, when he feels down like in s2 and then with Albert and etc. Makoto can’t. It’s the truth, just let it go. I know there are not much positives sides in mh relationships to be honest in my opinion, but there are still some (?). Why not base your arguments on truth? Like at least it’s gonna be mh, not some imaginary thing. Either love mh for mh or don’t. Like yeah, Haru doesn’t resiprocate, but maybe one-sided stuff is your kink, ok, explore this, fine, but don’t try to make Haru into somebody else. Then it’s not your ship anymore.

It’s just funny to me like that Rin here writes poems about Haru and openly flirts with him in restaurants and plans their future together and I don’t even need to exagerate anything, it’s just how it really is and meanwhile mh is like “remember how 7 years ago Utsumi said that Rin and Haru wouldn’t be friends if it wasn’t for swimming, so mh is the shit”.. like I’m sorry, but I think I’m allowed to laugh at this. Sometimes you just have to let it go, seriously. Or at least like idk think before you post (and I know that it has like 3 retweets and no one cares, but still 3 ppl agreed and it reached me somehow, so..). My policy is when I create posts about my ships is validation. Like my last Rinharu facts youtube post got 5K likes, I didn’t post my thoughts, just their moments and at the end I specifically said “I have links/translations to all of this, so name thing you want to read, I’ll link you” and I linked everyone whatever they wanted.

This is how you tell ppl a story of why you love this ship and make them fall in love with it, too. Not by making up lies about what’s not there and twisting someone’s words (like this person wrote “thats what she really meant *adds complete nonsense*). And I know mh do not have any of this stuff that rh have, but if you really ship mh, find something real and go from there. Seriously, it’s better if you have smth small, but real, than a huge lie.

Also I still think ship is about two people, not just one. Why mh don’t want to listen to anything Haru says or wants like at all? That’s just sad.

P.P.S. Thanks for liking my blog, this makes me so happy <3<3<3

#answered #anonymous #Free!#free #anime #rinharu #harurin #sharkbait #rin matsuoka #nanase haruka #Haru x Rin #free! iwatobi swim club

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mousehole5000 · 4 years

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wow i made this draft on november 1st i really took a break from this huh anyway tgcf chapters 121 - 142

i realize now this coffin scene was inevitable. feel kinda weird about hua cheng back and forth from Teen to Big Man but it is very funny that theyre having their “dude dont look at my boner” moment while in the jaws of a water dragon

pei ming: why didnt you guys make a bigger coffin so you didnt have to squish together like that? xie lian: haha yep!! anyways what brings you here?

“In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse! Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.” - king of minding his own business.

okay this is where i stopped putting notes here for a while but i did save some in my e-reader so here’s some of the highlights

“Guzi used to have a good sleeping form, but perhaps with his cheap dad’s bad influence, now he was also spread out on top of Qi Rong’s stomach like a dead fish. Lang Ying himself was curled neatly in the corner, and was covered by a few shirts. Xie Lian lifted the blanket covering Qi Rong, suppressed the urge to smother his face, and covered the two small children.” - xie lian funny moments. also it would be really funny if qi rong redeems himself by learning love through these misfit chiildren and it might actually endear me to him but i hope that doesnt happen

Every heavenly official was yelling, and even Ling Wen was throwing a fit. “DON’T THROW EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION MY WAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY DAY? DON’T YOU ALL KNOW TO USE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE BEFORE ASKING ME?!” - ling wen marry me right now

“An expression like “seen a ghost” that only mortals experienced was now showing on his face for the first time. Shi Wudu’s pupils shrank to the smallest they could, and he blurted, “You’re still alive?!” “I’m dead!” He Xuan said coldly.” - okay everythings going tits up rn but i did laugh

i did see spoilers re: ming yi/he xuan reveal + shi wudu’s fate beforehand so i dont have a genuine reaction other than oh shit

“He slowly enunciated each word. “I won’t touch your fate. But, here in this place, chop off your brother’s head for me.” CLANG! He threw a rusty blade onto the ground. Shi Qingxuan stared at that blade, his eyes wide. He Xuan continued, “Then, never show yourself before me again, and I will pretend you’ve never existed in this world.” - okay idk what else is going to happen but rn im concerned that this is like the 2nd biggest ship. i guess we’ll see?? i mean i am really curious whats going to happen to them. shi qingxuan keeps calling he xuan “ming-xiong” and i... sad

shi wudu im not really invested in you as a character but these next two bits... interesting

“If I don’t die but have nothing, then that’s truly a fate worse than death. If I’m not the Water God, I can’t take care of you. I won’t even be able to protect myself. I’m scared that we won’t even last two days…TAKE IT!” - damn. something about the wealthy losing everything and not knowing how to live without it bc thats their entire life and identity

“EVERYTHING I HAVE TODAY, I FOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT I DON’T HAVE. I WILL CHANGE FATE I DON’T POSSESS. MY FATE IS UP TO ME AND NOT THE HEAVENS!” - okay so the whole committing spiritual fraud by tormenting a man and his family to get your brother a cushy title thing aside this was kind of badass. heretical? possibly. but still. also is he intentionally riling up he xuan so sqx doesnt have to kill him? if so damn...

also okay as long as im here im just gonna say it. the choice that he xuan gives shi qingxuan is fucking brutal but i actually think its probably as fair as it could be. sqx didnt know about or participate in what happened to hx but they did benefit from it greatly while hx lost EVERYTHING and i can understand he xuan’s thinking of “if you really feel bad for what happened to me then you have to make a sacrifice and understand the suffering and this is as clean as its going to get” and theres a bit where sqx is trying to beg for mercy but cant get the words out which im guessing is bc theres no good argument!! what happened was fucked up!!

“When Pei Ming saw that reinforcements had arrived, he didn’t appear particularly delighted; instead he threw the sword into the ground, then rubbed his nose and said, sounding grim, “You all just had to come just as I finished making these, what the heck.” - pei ming making coffins chopping down trees with his sword i love it #wastehistime2k17

“Xie Lian brought that basket of eggs along, and gave them away as souvenirs from the mortal realm. Many who received the eggs were overjoyed; some deciding to eat it along with their own blood, and some proclaiming they would hatch an eight-foot monster.” - GHOST CITY GHOST CITY

“Placing the brush down, he blew lightly at the ink and smiled. “If I like something, then my heart will not have room for any other, and I’ll always treasure it. A thousand times, a million times, no matter how many years, this will not change. This poem is the same." - thats nice and all but king... get therapy. i actually have further thoughts but tbh i dont want to put them into words bc they are simply too personal! moving on

didnt take any notes but somewhere in here was the bit with mount tong’lu opening and hua cheng losing it and kind of um. hm. that scene. thats another trope i really hate tbh i dont care for it as a way of including physical intimacy between characters and idk if it really ever adds anything but whatever moving on

The Half-Maquillage Woman - kind of interesting monster idea bc women and aging…. yeah. however i think this would be a lot stronger if there were a) more girls and this was b) discussed or illustrated at all prior to this moment. still interesting that its included knowing the author is a woman tho and there’s been comments on how ling wen is perceived vs pei ming. this book does keep giving me hope for interesting female character arcs i really want it to deliver something

quan yizhen..... i get u

lmao i have a note on a bit with lang ying that says “please dont be hc in disguise” and..... my clown nose was on but at least i knew that. for real this is bothering me how much he’s just. always. there. i know he’s a lead but we didn’t really need him around for a lot of this. oh well. okay now to my current notes

“Yet it was precisely because it wasn’t cooked that it had to be eaten quickly. Once Xie Lian cooked it, it wouldn’t be edible anymore” - fucking fantastic

“Xie Lian hugged his belly. “Of course! Only after having met you did I rediscover that it’s such a simple thing to be happy, hahaha…” Hearing this, Hua Cheng blinked. Xie Lian’s laughter quieted a bit, realizing what he just said was a little too revealing.” - okay i know i said what i said about being tired of hua cheng being everywhere but... the line…. the fact that theyre laughing together…. :pleading:

“It’s not,” Ling Wen said. “At least, I believe, there will definitely not be another in history who can create a dish called ‘Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs’” - and truer words were never spoken

“I, DO NOT WORSHIP GODS. “I, AM GOD!” - this was every bit as badass as i hoped but no one told me it was immediately followed up by a little bit of the ol dinner theater fjalkdsfjsd. also puqi shrine noooooooooo

“Xie Lian sighed as he thought, “Qi Rong has taken Guzi away, who knows if the poor child was eaten or abandoned. Wind Master...... ..... who knows if Black Water took him away. Pray they’re both safe.” yeah hey are we going to fucknig. find out what happened to the child???

and yeah i dooooont really care for the age regression? thing thats going on. i just dont like that trope tbh. but tiny hua cheng whipping out his fat ghost king wallet in the store was funny tho. it is really funny that hualian are just like wandering around some random towns while the heavens are in an uproar. i guess theres not much else to do but its funny

“Me too, me too. You all know of my shixiong, right? Talented, with an infinite future! He only had one small vice: he loved playing women. Decades ago, a little prostitute ghost seduced my shixiong and sucked him dry into human jerky, and that Hua, Hua, Hua, that ghost king dared shelter her.” - yes omg give me the forbidden hua cheng lore i love this for him for real it goes along nicely with xie lian’s principles about giving another cup. god i love shared values

“Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu.” - how’d he do that. why is this a ghost king power. its useful tho

*me shaking qi rong when he pops up* WHERE IS THE CHILD

mu qing fu yao is here okay im happy now. once again no one has a good grasp on their secret identity and i love that. this inn has descended into chaos and im delighted and im glad lan chang is back

“The good ol’ kitchen was suddenly squished and crowded, loud and noisy. Fu Yao was chasing that fetus spirit leaping up and down, Lan Chang was chasing after Fu Yao like she had gone mad. Half of Qi Rong’s face changed shape by the way Xie Lian was pressing him down on the chopping board, his back turning into a target for those yellow talismans Fu Yao hurled while being observed by a crowd, and Lan Chang would step on him from time to time.” - this is pure chaos. i love that mu qing was in that room when the mob checked and he didnt say a word didnt open the door just sent out a talisman as a warning. king your disguise is transparent

“Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.” - awwwww omg im emotional about this... faithful friend feng xin laughing at xie lian’s stupid joke password and remembering it!!! ;_;

“They have, but they’re not effective,” Feng Xin said. “Usually they’re the most diligent in scorning the Palace of Ling Wen, like they could do the job way better if they had the position. Now that we need them to take up the task, not a single one can do even half of what she does.” - typical... typical typical typical

also emotional about the fact that feng xin contacted xie lian at all.....

also!! emotional about lan chang as a mom and wanting to help out sick lil guzi.....

xie lian forcing “fu yao” to let him help “his general” is making me.... what is friendship if not playing along with your buddies little shenanigans while also making them accept your help

“Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…” ”Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “...But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.” - XIE LIAN PLEASE AFJDLKSFJDL omg ive seen this quote before but i figured he was talking to someone else not actually to mu qing himself fgjasdkfjsl. god thats amazing. hey im gonna help you out because i care but i will roast you first <3

waaaaaait so is lan chang aka jian lan that girl from book 2 we took a page to talk about and then disappeared? that has to be it why else would we have stopped to discuss her

“Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again. “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!” - oh this feels so good i cant lie. YES GET HIM!! CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE YES!!!!

okay this description of cuocuo.... im... that sure the hell is a creature

this book is so entertaining bc i already saw spoilers for the feng xin/jian lan/cuo cuo reveal and yet i could never have predicted the circumstances that brought it about. imagine being feng xin. the heavens are in an uproar and your only friend/enemy has been jailed for possible fetus spirit-related crimes but he escapes along with this female ghost who keeps causing problems. you figure “fuck it lets see if dianxia kept his old phone number” and he has but then he hangs up on you. you’ve got fuckall else to do so you go find him. mu qing is there but he’s in his disguise the two of you were using so you could watch over his highness while staying aloof. you think you see hua cheng only he’s a chiild for some goddamn reason but who knows at this point. the female ghost is also there and theres a fetus spirit climbing trees and biting your arrows in half. you realize the female ghost is your ex and the little demon is your son. it bites you. what do you do

amazing that despite everything going on everyone is still playing along with the “fu yao” persona when it would probably be easier to drop pretenses at this point. then again tbh if i could explain my actions to my friends while pretending to be a third party.... i probably would so.. carry on

“With all his devotees gone, only Feng Xin still treated him like the Flower-Crowned Martial God and His Highness the Crown Prince. ” “...his protection charms were all seen as trash. However, Feng Xin was still determined and tireless in handing them out; telling Xie Lian, look, you still have devotees.” “After all, he was the darling of the heavens since birth, high and mighty. Feng Xin so naturally spun around him like he was the world, so how could he possibly have his own life, his own heart” “Whether or not that fetus spirit was Feng Xin’s son, if it was that period of poverty that made Feng Xin lose the girl he loved, Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter what." ohhhh my god this relationship i. im...

oh my god i still have 30 more chapters until book 4............ its naptime now i think

#tgcf liveblog #so close and yet so far......#i keep hearing tell of this fabled book 4 i must press onwards......#but now im sleepy.....#mouse mumbles

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border-spam · 4 years

Text

(Featuring @godkingsanointed ‘s amazing OC JK)

Mid COV

“There’s a H… there."

Seifa tapped a black nail into the paper Jak-Knife was staring at so intently their mask’s front grill brushed against the page. They let out a rumbling groan, slowly shaking their head side to side as she reassuringly patted their hand, leaning pressed against the length of their back so she could peer down at the scrawled letter splayed on the table in front of them.

"A H? Why??” they whined, cupping the sides of their head in calloused hands with a dejected sigh. Words were stupid.

It had been a long day for both of them.

Sei had only just made it to her ship after a night of red tape and managing delays in her office below. Tyreen’s Saints had incredible skill in somehow making sure their daily business ended up impacting Troy’s in some way. Missing shipments, deadlines shifted far shorter than possible with no warning, the usual shit. She’d sat for hours after her shift, gritting her teeth while pouring through their condescending e-coms, pausing every now and then to distract herself from the frustration by catching flashes of today’s arena stream.

The Blight Devil had ripped through raiders on the flickering office screen as her papers shuffled. Heretics who’d led an assault on a protected settlement and refused to repent now faced the Holy Father’s executioner, a fitting end to parasites sucking lifeblood from the isolated villages the COV kept in food and medical supplies.

She’d found them after the fight as she left her office that night, leaning silently against the elevator gate in the lower workshop that lead to her ship docked above the Mechanicum. Head bowed and tilted to the side, ankles crossed and arms folded across their chest. They were spotless as usual, arena blood expertly removed from their skin, but the weight of the fight was visible on their frame - tired and quiet.

They’d perked out of their doze as she approached, and lifted a bag filled with something hot and spicy from the Slums as a greeting. JK was always like this. They had as much an open invitation to her home as the others, but while she’d retire some nights and find Ven and Eli already smiling cheekily from her kitchen table and expecting dinner to appear now that she’d gotten home, or Troy curled up asleep in the same tiny wall cot that she’d told him was his years ago, JK never entered without her.

Always waited by the elevator with offering in hand, a gift of food or beer like an olive branch. Habit, she figured. Something from a life of survival in Pandora’s roaming clans she’d maybe never understand, but she could appreciate even though she reassured them it wasn’t needed every single time.

She could tell they were struggling to keep going now still, heavy muscle shifting under her ribs as they groaned at the letter covered in smudged ink between their elbows on the kitchen table, muttering about the rogue “H” through their mask’s respirator.

Words made no damn sense, even less when they were marked down in writing.

Bandit cant had always served JK well, icons, symbols, communication scratched into rocks and dirt and corpses with the tips of jagged blades. Writing was pointless, they’d been told that for as long as they could remember. Adults in their clan had mocked newcomers to Pandora, said their big words and fancy letters were just to hide behind. A mask without a mask, so they could pretend they were better, stronger than the salt and blood of the earth that crawled across the planet’s dusty wastes in scavenging mobs.

You didn’t need to write or read when your family could respond like a singular pack unit to bird whistles or rhythmic pounding on dry rock. Learning would be a waste of time and resources better used to serve the marauding horde.

This H was a waste. The flimsy, golden pen clutched in their calloused fist was a waste, a symbol of wealth, education, of weakness on Pandora. If it hadn’t been a gift, they’d…

“Because without the H it says tanks. Like, war-machines, you know?” Seifa laughed, pushing against them to her feet and shooting a deadeye finger gun at their chest with a silent pow as she back stepped to her side of the table.

“But gotta say, that looks like a love letter, JK” she grinned, lowering herself into her seat with an ungraceful thump.

“..She a fan of tanks?”

They huffed quietly, refusing to meet the shit-eating grin they knew she was aiming at them as she shuffled the papers in front of her and leaned back into her chair with a creak of wood.

“She likes tanks, yeah. She.. likes all weapons. All machines. Makes ‘em, fixes 'em..” they murmured as Seifa clicked her tongue in response, wolf whistling.

“Sounds like my kind of woman.”

“She’s… my kind of woman.” Jk replied through a crackling laugh, scratching the pen against the paper with practiced concentration. “She should have nice things like.. letters. She should have poems, songs.. chants… and thank you.” they looked up, catching Sei’s inquisitive gaze “Thank you for helping me.” She followed their hand, gesturing towards the paper with a blunt finger.

Sei laughed, smoothing loose hair back over her shoulder. “Don’t thank me, pal. I think if anything, I’m using you as a distraction..” she sighed, expression turning somber as she dropped the stack of papers to the table in front of her, grimacing.

“This jank is terrible.”

“Words?” they offered, lenses catching the light as their eyes followed her when she stood.

“Nah JK, numbers” she scoffed, rolling sore shoulders as she stepped towards the kitchen counter to their side. “WAY worse. Listen, want to try something gross?” the chair struggling to support their bulk squeaked behind her as JK turned to face the cupboard she was rooting through. “I got this new coffee..-somewhere.. where is..- Ahh!”

“I like coffee, sure!” they chuckled with a nod, thumping their fist onto the little table the pair had been sharing in her ship’s kitchen

“This coffee though - ” she corrected smugly “This coffee has been shit out of some horrible little monkey thing on Eden-2” she smirked, stifling a giggle in response to the barking guffaw that erupted behind her.

“WHAT” they yelled through the muffle of the mask’s filters, deep voice cracking in amusement.

Sei turned, waving the foil bag towards them playfully as she leaned back against the counter.

“I’m not joking, gift from an ore dealer me and Ven had to sweet talk into very generous trade agreements on Astrensis a month ago. I don’t know if he was trying to impress me or what, but this is basically worth its weight in platinum and it’s-”

“ - It’s shit juice!” JK gasped between rolling belly laughs.

“It’s fuckin’ shit juice pal, you’re not wrong!” she chuckled, smile wrinkling across her nose as she flipped the coffee maker’s switch, grinning softly as the clunky hiss of the machine filled the little kitchen quarters.

Jk sighed happily behind her, twisting to stare at their paper again. “Rich people are so wrong. They don’t belong, not here, waste everything. Just walking sacks of ego thinking their paper money will stop this place taking its due from 'em”. They grunted thoughtfully, then continued in a quieter tone.

“I thought you were a rich person when we first met, another off-worlder.”

Seifa turned, wide-eyed in surprise at the comment.

JK was someone she’d known for years now, but even with so many hours of quiet time together in this ship, a quiet hiding hole away from the Holy City’s heaving bustle and fame both their titles reluctantly carried, even after all this time, they rarely spoke of their own feelings in this manner. JK’s thoughts were something they held deep in their chest, opinion’s they’d share, advice they’d willingly give, but their thoughts? She wanted to hear more, it was an unusual glimpse into an incredibly interesting mind.

“You thought I was rich?” she balked, pointing towards her chest. “How? You seen the way I live?”

Their head tilted, turning slowly to glance around the cabin. Clean, homely. Plants and textiles covering cracked wall panels… repaired and well-maintained kitchenware, the coffee machine behind her newer than nearly anything else surrounding it. They shifted, looking down at the polished and well loved table, the stains and scratches buffed but still visible in the finish. Years of love and use.

They made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a laugh, tilting their head slowly to the side. “Not about what you own, Seifa. It was how you carry yourself. You’re the only person in the room till you don’t want to be, then you were never there at all. Eyes miss you.” they rumble.

“Don’t belong here. Don’t belong out there either, in the city. Covered in gold, thought you were like the others. You aren’t though.” JK hums, shifting their eyes to the scrapped together coffee machine behind her.

“..You’re like him.”

She’d laugh if that wasn’t such an insult, rolling her eyes and huffing a chuckle into her fist.

“Thanks. What a compliment.” she groaned, flashing a quick grin before lifting a finger to scratch at her jaw thoughtfully. "… I’m not rich though I fleece the twins for all they are worth, sure, but that’s just good business.“ the homemade machine behind her whistled quietly as she paused, breathing deep the acrid aroma of roasted coffee wafting through the room.

"My clan might not be called that, but it’s still what they are. We’ve a creed of support. One of us does well for themselves? Strikes it rich? Lucks a factor as much as skill. There’s 10 bad deals for every good one.. some get a real bad streak, JK.” they nodded, understand her meaning if not her experiences.

“There were times before the twins where I needed help from family, care packages and donations to keep my ship running and fuel tanks full, now I repay that debt with what I earn here, spread the wealth to others who struggle now like I did then.” Seifa shrugged, uncomfortable in sounding anything close to generous regardless of the truth. “ It’s our creed, like I said. Family first.”

Jk grunted, nodding to themself as they stared at the table in front of them, the scrunched letter in shaky lines.

“Family first..” they echoed, not quite to themself, and not quite to her either.

Family.

They let their eyes rest on the pen gripped in their hand, tilting it slowly. The solid gold barrel reflecting light the same way the gilded fangs in his crooked grin had as he pressed the box into their open palm. Troy had been so happy when he handed them the case, blushing and shifting his weight from foot to foot as he waited for them to open it. They’d not known what to do with the contents, looking back and forth between the solid gold pen and him awkwardly. Waiting for him to explain how they should react, anxiously hoping he’d guide them as always.

He’d laughed, plucking it from the case and pointing at the name etched into the bodywork.

“It’s for you, see, it’s your name like we p-practiced. J.a.k-.k.n.i.f.e, see it?” his hand had been trembling with excitement, cheeks flushed and smile squinting his eyes as he loomed over them, pressed close enough to hear his ragged breaths.

“Now when you write you’ll know I got your b-back, yeah? I’ve got your back, understand? 'Cus you’ll know that I know you can do it, and I’ll keep teaching you.”

They hadn’t known what to say, the words that felt right were choking in their throat. They knew Troy often compared himself cruelly to them, would emasculate himself by placing aspects of who they were on a pedestal then berate himself for not reaching. It was hard to communicate their awareness of it with him. He was so easily hurt by his weaknesses being recognised, it was easier to pretend they didn’t notice and insist on complimenting him when they spotted him sinking under his own detrimental thoughts. Lift him up when they saw him flag.

But this, writing? Reading? Troy was excellent at this. It was something he could help them with, and as soon as he’d realised they could do neither, he’d jumped on the opportunity to teach them. They understood it was a repayment of his own volition, even if they couldn’t understand why God King Calypso would feel like he’d owed them in any way. They were his guard. They shielded him. They didn’t need to be thanked, you don’t need to thank a brother…

Seifa waited for as silence fell between them, giving JK the chance to continue, but they said nothing, nodding almost imperceptibly as they continued to stare at the pen.

They got lost sometimes in the depths under that mask, but the people close to them understood, and it was easy enough to bring JK back into the current. Wait a moment, give them a chance to snap back, then pull them back into the conversation.

She cleared her throat to break the quiet.

“So, is this lady rich then? If she likes poems and songs… and weapons?”

It snapped them out of their daze immediately, turning snake quick to glare through the mismatched lenses at her instead.

“She… she has money yes, she works hard. Very hard. I don’t know if she even would like a poem. It’s just something.. I see sometimes on the echonet, those movies Troy watches.”

“You give poems to great women, don’t you…?” their voice caught on a question towards the end, something they weren’t wording but clearly needed an answer for.

Sei stepped towards them, reaching out to lay a hand on their shoulder as she carefully arranged the words that felt most right for them.

“Maybe..” she started tentatively, leaning down a little to meet their eyes through the mask’s glass. “..if that’s what she wants, sure. But it sounds like this woman doesn’t need fancy things, JK. Sounds like she’s plenty good at seeing the truth of what things are, huh?”

They nodded emphatically, the quiet choking sounds from under their mask emphasising their eagerness to agree.

“Thought so” Sei grinned cheekily. “Why not write how you see her then, huh? No poems, just the truth of how things are.” They rumbled as she patted their shoulder, turning back to the small kitchen to prepare their drinks.

She smiled triumphantly to herself as the welcoming sound of the pouring coffee mixed with the scratching of their pen behind her, before it was interrupted by a stern grunt.

“Seifa, how do you spell refuge?”

#borderlands #borderlands 3 #bl3 #troy calypso #calypso twins #leech lord #seifa #jak-knife #my writing #my hcs #lldrabbles

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

Text

“Like ships in the night, you keep passing me by”

Do you own a black leather jacket? A pleather one, yes. Something badass about wearing one haha.

Do you find musicians or athletes more attractive? I’ve been attracted to more musicians, but that’s cause I’m more familiar with them. I don’t see a lot of athletes as someone who doesn’t watch or care at all about sports. Although, guys in baseball uniforms are nice. haha. Oh, back when I was like 13 or 14 I remember thinking Andy Roddick, a tennis player, was hot. I saw his photo in a magazine. Are you better at spelling or writing? I think both. How many siblings do you have? Two. If you could have an ice cream sundae right now, would you? No.

Do you use emoji's? Yeah. I don’t go crazy, but I like to use them as I see fit. When was the last time you lost a tooth? I broke a tooth like 10 years ago and had to get it pulled. You ask this question like it’s the norm to loose a tooth when I’m pretty sure the people who take surveys are past the ages where you lose your teeth. Do you like bendy or regular straws better? I like to use coffee stirrer straws cause the holes are small. If someone signed you up for karate lessons, would you take them? Uh, no. What's your favorite song? I have numerous favorite songs.

Click shuffle on any music device. What's the 12th song that comes up? Nah. What's your most used website? Tumblr and YouTube. Do you come on this website as much as you used to when you first found it? Not as much, no. I used to spend like all day on Tumblr back in the day. Now I typically just get on at night as part of my nighttime routine of Tumblr and surveys. That’s also when I watch the most YouTube cause I like to listen to ASMR at night. I feel like I probably go on YouTube more now than before or perhaps it’s about the same. Do you drink hot tea? Once in awhile. It’s usually when I’m feeling really anxious or really sick.

“& it’s too cold outside for angels to fly”

Is there anyone you want to see in concert really bad? I’m sad I never got to see Linkin Park. I don’t know if they’ll decide tour now, but it wouldn’t be the same without Chester. :( Do you like Abercombie? Nah. Do you still take a survey even if they don't capitalize letters? Yeah. Does your computer have word correct on it? It’ll do the red squiggly line if something is misspelled or it doesn’t recognize the word and if I hit control and click on the word it’ll offer a suggestion if it’s a recognized word. What's one of your wishes for 2013? Well, we’re towards the end of 2020 now and I just pray we’re able to get through the rest of the year without anything else crazy coming at us. Do you fight with your mom often? No, my mom is my best friend she and I very close. We just bicker sometimes. Would you rather have your son have the name Daniel as first or middle name? Sounds more like a first name to me, but meh I don’t really care for the name at all. I don’t even want to have children so it doesn’t matter lol but if I did I’d go with another name. Have you ever made up a food combo & everyone tired it & loved it? Pizza rolls and mustard. What was the last movie you watched? Would you recomend it to people? Bringing Down the House the other day cause I happened to catch it on TV. It came out in like 2003 so it’s not new, but I’ve always liked it. I think it’s funny. What is one word you cannot seem to spell? Every time this question comes up I always say “onomatopoeia” for some reason and damnit I have yet to spell it right without having to look it up. I don’t know what it is about that stupid word that I just can’t seem to remember lol. It’s a word I never use unless this question comes up, so I guess maybe that’s why, but still. I should be able to spell it. Were you born on an odd or even number? Even. Do you like Ed Sheeran? I like several of his songs. When you type, what hand & finger do you use to hit the space bar? I use my right index finger. I don’t type the proper way, I use my index fingers lol. I type really fast that way, too. Do you like to take pictures of you in the mirror? Only if I want to show the shirt or outfit I’m wearing.

“you are the best thing that’s ever been mine”

Have you read the book Lord of the Flies? Yeah, it was required in my 10th grade English class. Would you rather type or hand write notes? My handwriting is trash, but I feel like handwritten notes are nice. Do you like the number seven? I don’t have anything against it. Do you believe that when you go to heaven, you become an angel? No. I believe in angels, but not that we become one. Angels are another of God’s creations. They’re ministering spirits. They’re their own thing and humans are another. How much money do you plan on spending tomorrow? I don’t plan on spending any money tomorrow. Are you good at writing poems? No. I dabbled a bit with it when I was like 16 and angsty, but they’re so cringe. I still have the journal stored away with them and I’ve gone back to read them as an adult and yikes. Do you come on here daily? For the most part, unless I’m really not feeling well. What's one thing you wish you were perfect at? No one is perfect, but it’d be nice to be a functioning adult. Can you play the saxophone? Nope. Does it bother you when people breathe loud? I will say I feel uncomfortable when someone has a breathing problem because it makes me hyper focused on my own breathing and I end up feeling like I can’t breathe. Are you going to any concerts in 2013? Can you believe it's going to be 2013? I didn’t. The last concert I went to was back in 2009. Were you in love with the movie Mary Poppins? Not in love with it, but I like it. Do you like breadsticks? Yes. Have you ever been on a mountain? Yeah, I took a gondola ride up to one. If you had to get rid of one of your sense, which one and why? I’d really rather not.

“the first cut is the deepest”

Can you swim? Nope. Do you usually wear shorts around your house all year long? No, I wear leggings all year long. Do you remember Sesame Street? Of course. It’s also still very much a thing. Do you believe every word that comes out of peoples mouths? Of course not. You have to take some things with a grain of salt or healthy dose of skepticism. You gotta gauge what is being said and who is saying it, too, and make the judgment. That doesn’t mean I don’t trust my loved ones or that I think everyone is a liar or something, but people can give misinformation unknowingly, so it’s not always being done intentionally. It’s just not a good idea to believe every single word that comes out of people’s mouths. Do you like the questions that really make you think? Depends on my mood. What are you asking for for Christmas? Just a few little things. What time do you plan on going to bed on Tuesday? I don’t have a set bedtime for any given day, I go to bed whenever. I’ve talked a lot about my messed up sleep schedule in surveys. It’s certainly not planned. How many of your friends are online right now on here? I have no idea who’s currently on. I’m kind of the night owl of the survey community who’s up doing surveys while everyone is asleep like normal people. When they’re getting up in the morning, I’m going to bed, ha. :X Do you know what Je means in French? I do, actually. How often do you write in red pen? I don’t recall the last time I used a red pen. Do you cut your own hair? No. I used to trim my own bangs back when I had ‘em, though. Do you have any pictures in your room from concerts? No. Would you ever name your son Harry? Again, I don’t want to have children, but Harry is another name I don’t particularly care for. Have you ever had your nails done in french tips? Yeah, the one and only time I got my nails done, which was for my 8th grade promotion. Is it harder for you to type on a keyboard that isn't yours & not used to? Yes, for sure. I also don’t type as fast on my phone than I do on my laptop.

“I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller”

What shoe do you take off first? Hm. I think my right. What do you think a good teen couple name would be for a story? Uh I don’t know? If you were coming to the states from another country, where first? I’m from the states. Would you pay $82 for facial products? No. Do you get a lot of compliments often? Nope. It’s rare. Was Mean Girls one of the best movies in your opinion? I wouldn’t say it was the best movie, but it’s a favorite of mine. It’s just a classic, ya know? One of those nostalgic movies with a lot of memorable quotes. If it was Sat, 2 in the afternoon, what would we find you to be doing? I’d most likely be asleep. Do any of your best friends have red hair? No. Would you like to be on the cover of Seventeen magazine? No. Or any magazine. Would you rather go to an Adele or Bruno Mars concert? I mean, I like songs from both so I wouldn’t be opposed to either one. Would you like to live in Sweden? No, but I’d love to visit. Are you concerned about your weight? Yes. I’m too underweight. Do you know anyone who has the middle name Sebastian? I don’t think so. Do you remember where you got your first kiss at? Of course. Did you ever watch the show 8 Simple Rules? I watched it here and there cause it was part of the TGIF lineup that had other shows I liked.

“I hope you’re in the mood, because this is going to be a long ride”

Does your computer need to be cleaned? Underneath the keys badly need to be cleaned. Would you ever name your child Sushine, Raine, River etc? I kinda like Raine. Is it any of your friend's birthday today? No friends. When is the person you like birthday? I don’t like anyone in the romantic sense. Do you like yogurt? Nah. When you type, do you ever mix letters around by accident? (EX: ot - to) Yes. Do you like butterflies? No. I’m afraid of ALL bugs/insects, even the ones people think are cute like butterflies and ladybugs. Nopeee. Do you consider the tomato a fruit or vegetable? Tomatoes apparently can be referred to as either one. I always thought they were a vegetable. Does it rain over where you live? Yes. It hasn’t rained since like March or April, though. We Californians get excited when it rains cause it doesn’t happen often lol. I hope we get some soon. It’s been cold now at least, which I love. Is there any snow on the ground? It doesn’t snow in my city. :( Do you like soup? I only like ramen. When's the last time you made cupcakes? It’s been a few years. How many lamps are in the room your currently in? My lights are off. Have you talked the person you like today? Have you ever been bullied? No.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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timedriving · 4 years

Note

DocRip for the Ship meme because it sounds cute af

send me a ship and i’ll tell you… ( accepting )

who hogs the duvet they share. rip doesn’t move much, the doctor doesn’t move much, and so the duvet stays blissfully where it is... and so does rip’s face where it’s buried itself in the doctor’s back or his chest, his arms wrapped firm around him. i don’t think either of them sleep much, but in the moments that they both manage to do it at the same time, rip savours it immensely

who texts/rings to check how their day is going rip checks in more often, but only because he’s less of a scatterbrain and remembers to do these things at a semi-regular basis. the doctor doesn’t always reply right away (but honestly, the tardis has always been a bit odd about receiving messages), but when he does rip often gets an incredibly long reply, which he’ll-- embarrassingly-- read several times before finally writing back although sometimes he reads it several times because he has to reprocess everything the doctor’s written. even his writing is incredibly excitable and sort of resembles a stream of consciousness sort of thing

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts the doctor, hands down. and it’s not always physical stuff-- though he does like to bring souvenirs when he comes back from periods or places that rip’s never been to (which are a lot!), and rip lovingly places them in his office on a special shelf that’s just for the doctor’s stuff for him. anyway, the doctor’s creative in that he goes from physical gifts to gifts that are experiences to gifts that are just, you know, leaving a sweet voicemail that isn’t intended to be especially sweet or anything, but ends up being sweet anyway because of the way the doctor’s mind works. when he thinks of rip even a little bit he ends up thinking of rip a lot, and it makes for the most embarrassing things to listen to... but only because rip doesn’t know what to do with all these admiring feelings towards him it makes him wish he were better at the whole gift thing in return. he’ll probably never beat the doctor at it (especially with the frequency that gifts are given), but he’s probably given a fairly rough poem or two here and there... or a sketch of the doctor he’s drawn from memory...

who gets up first in the morning the doctor gets up earlier than him and it’s surreal. rip isn’t used to being the one that’s surprised in the morning, and he probably will never be; fortunately, he’s so attuned to the doctor’s voice that he never feels panicked when he is woken... even if the doctor’s sort of flailing about excitedly and rip’s half-asleep mind is just struggling to catch up with all of it the doctor likes rip all freshly woken up; he’s a lot more honest when he’s groggy, what with how he isn’t conscious of what he says or what he sounds like. rip’s also a lot more mushy, and it’s funny in an endearing way seeing him whinge about wanting the doctor to just come back to bed already

who suggests new things in bed the doctor, probably? rip’s tastes are fairly simple, and the doctor’s probably seen way more shit in his 1000ish years of life through time and space. but then they’re both simple in terms of what satisfies them; neither of them really need much? it’s usually just to spice things up here and there, and sometimes it isn’t even overtly sexual or inappropriate (“what if we rode a roller coaster fifteen times-- i think the adrenaline would make the sex after incredible” “...okay” and then rip ends up too dizzy to nail him and the doctor has to pat his back). either way, rip is pretty open-minded, so it’s not like it’s especially difficult

who cries at movies oooh, i feel like they’re both... not the type to cry at films? like they’re both removed enough from these sorts of things that they don’t have enough context to cry about it? rip is probably the first human companion that doesn’t question the doctor even a little when he doesn’t get the deeper humany-wumany emotional details of things... because honestly, rip doesn’t get it either when the movie is so far removed from him he can’t feel any proper attachment to anything. useless

who gives unprompted massages the doctor’s more likely to try doing it unprompted; rip always asks first, and even then i imagine the doctor has to teach him how to do it the first time or so to get his good spots (but after being corrected once here and there, rip picks it up pretty easily!) anyway, the doctor’s pretty good at easing in from gradual touch to, like, serious massaging, so rip doesn’t feel too surprised by it. it’s kind of surreal. also, rip never notices how tense he is until the doctor fixes it... what a wise guy

who fusses over the other when they’re sick rip finds it funny in a sort of silly way that the doctor fusses about him. but then the doctor wouldn’t be so fussy if rip was just a better patient!! rip never friggin’ sleeps properly though, and he always argues about wanting to do some work first before getting his bed rest, and the doctor is like “rip hunter, you are an incredible human, one of the best, but you can’t be the best any more if you get sicker and sicker, all right?” and it’s. it’s so disarming, that the doctor is so kind in this way, and so despite the fact he’s grumbling about it rip does, in fact, get some sleep for him, sheesh

who gets jealous easiest probably rip. it’s intimidating having a partner that’s as old and experienced and worldly (universely?) as the doctor, and sometimes he does worry he’s inadequate for him, which sort of translates to some, uh, unfortunate jealousy here and there. he doesn’t need to be reassured constantly or anything, and it’s not something that makes him angry with the doctor and what not, but it’s there. and he gets a bit tense, sometimes. and the way his eye twitches whenever someone openly flirts with his time lord is something that the doctor notices every time, silly captain hunter no lie, though, rip does like being reminded that he’s the doctor’s favourite. he’s simple. let him be

who has the most embarrassing taste in music i don’t think they have enough understanding of the concept of embarrassment due to music taste to really feel it?? rip’s interested in whatever nonsense the doctor likes to show him, always, and the doctor thinks rip’s eclectic collection of human music is a fascinating way to show how music on earth’s evolved over the years. it’s very honest and wholesome

who collects something unusual they’re both! stupid! collectors! but really, rip’s souvenir hoarding’s got nothing on the doctor’s, but given that the doctor’s breadth and scope of adventuring is a lot wider than rip’s is, the doctor has a significantly larger collection. i think by virtue of that the doctor’s got more unusual things. i like to imagine that he has the equivalent of “getting a starbucks mug from every country you’ve been to” in like... universal terms. probably there are planets out there that have the alien equivalent of starbucks? the doctor with universal starbucks mugs is really cute rip’s most diverse collection is his collection of cereal and various other confectionaries... he has a special time chamber/time lock thing that prevents the contents from ageing and he keeps all that stupid stuff there

who takes the longest to get ready the doctor ALWAYS has to look fly, down to the way his hair is styled, and he tries out new things here and there that rip himself has no inclination towards. rip wears the same clothes, like, all the time, as in same shirt same waistcoast same trousers same hairstyle same beard cut and what not, so he doesn’t have to think much or do much to maintain it as opposed to the doctor’s more ~unique tastes

who is the most tidy and organised rip, i think! in fact, first time he was on the tardis he tried to fix a few things, but then he found out rather quickly that she likes to behave in whatever way she pleases, so he... doesn’t do much any more, save for fixing about the room that the doctor decided was his whenever he chooses to stay over. but then whenever he decides to stay over the doctor also stays in the same room like the goofball he is, so i mean. they end up making a bit of a mess sometimes, anyway

who gets most excited about the holidays the doctor knows SO many holidays! so many! in so many different places and times! and he’s different from rip in the sense that he’s actually celebrated them at least once in his life! rip is fortunate that the doctor chooses not to share the more boring holidays with him, but the ones with festivals or parties or gifts or bright lights or good food and stuff? yeah, rip is getting a crash course in all of them and rip’s not much for interacting with too many people at once, so for the livelier holidays he does like to hang back after he’s reached his threshold of dealing with other people and just watch the doctor have the time of his life. occasionally he will even draw the doctor partaking in these festivities... he always looks so happy

who is the big spoon/little spoon rip quite likes being the big spoon in this scenario. the doctor is so much smaller than him, it’s kind of addicting to hold him and be able to press his face into his hair, or his shoulder, or his back. rip’s also incredibly fond of listening to those twin heartbeats of his; somehow it’ll always be a little surreal, but it’s fitting for a man so full of life, isn’t it? there is just this mutual safety in it, and a sense of honour when rip considers who he’s holding. the doctor could be the most dangerous being in the universe if he chose to be, and rip is here holding him in some metaphorical act of protecting him (even if it’s more likely that the doctor will save his ass more than the other way around) also it’s fun teasing the doctor a little with his touches when rip spoons him... sorry he’s trash.............

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports oh no... i think they are both pretty competitive, and it can get pretty intense! these two probably have the most exciting chess games ever, frankly, and it’s kind of funny how they both get some form of adrenaline rushes, but they’re both geniuses aware of their intelligence who like feeling mentally challenged, aren’t they? i also think the doctor appreciates being able to play chess with someone who matches his smarts as well as rip does, even though the doctor tends to beat him more often than the opposite outcome cards can also get straight up hostile sometimes. LMFAO

who starts the most arguments rip has a shorter temper of the two, but when the doctor gets mad he’s WAY more dangerous... that being said i don’t think they argue much besides shallow, playful ribbing of the couple sort just to be shits to each other?? probably the worst thing they could argue about would be for something dangerous and it being, like, “you should stay here where it’s safe!” “no i’ll come with you” “NO YOU’LL STAY” rip’s probably most argumentative about not being left behind, though. definitely. and he’s a growling, stupid dog about it, too

who suggests that they buy a pet the doctor suggests it, and the pet that the doctor suggests is in no way familiar to rip’s earthly traditions. LOL. they’re here with a single-celled, six-winged, alien bird-like sort of thing and it barely needs to be taken care of, and rip can’t pronounce the name the doctor’s given it, so it has a nickname that his sad human mouth and tongue are capable of forming. the pet survives quite nicely in the tardis too, incidentally?? rip is able to teach it tricks somehow with the use of clicking his tongue and whistling and the doctor picks up the technique but not the bird’s cooperation... so unfair. what do you do to make her listen to you, rip!!!

what couple traditions they have they like to leave each other messages in time! in a kind of ridiculous way of like, if rip meets the doctor’s future self in the middle of a mission, he’ll be sure to leave something for his past/present self to find when he eventually gets to that point in his time, you know? the doctor does the same thing. it’s a fun kind of tag along mini scavenger hunt sort of thing, and since history-altering interactions with a time lord don’t seem to ruin the stability of space-time, it’s a fun thing for rip especially

what tv shows they watch together not much... rip doesn’t care about television? i don’t think the doctor does, either. they’ll give a series a try, and maybe there’s something here and there that they end up liking (i am leaning towards westerns?? also the doctor WILL call rip “sheriff” at some point just to tease him and rip will be like *PING!* and the doctor’s never going to let him forget it, just so that’s clear), but it’ll take them AGES to finish because the doctor is incapable of binge-watching anything without getting bored of it halfway through

what other couple they hang out with the ponds i don’t... know really?? maybe martin and clarissa; i like the idea of the doctor and rip joining their trivia nights! and the doctor suggests being the one to come up with trivia questions at some point and rip has to remind him “nobody on earth will know the answer to that, that’s not fair” whilst the doctor is like “hmmmm, it’s their fault for not being better universal students, though” and rip just laughs... that’s his silly time lord...

how they spend time together as a couple besides the adventures they go on? rip is SUPER interested whenever the doctor does any tune-ups for the tardis, and he’s smart enough and talented enough in the engineering biz that he’s not useless when he does it. rip will never know all the secrets to the tardis-- the doctor will never teach him everything, and rip himself won’t be particularly pushy about having to learn it all either-- but he will know enough that the doctor can ask him for help with the more common issues and needs and rip can do them easily without asking for advice

who made the first move the doctor, absolutely, which isn’t to say that rip had never started to develop feelings, but when you grow up idolising the time lords and the culture of gallifrey and then suddenly find yourself able to spend time with the most legendary one of them all, it’s kind of hard to move past that concept that “oh god, he’s so much better than me, it’s not like he’ll see anything in me more than friendship, is it?” i don’t think the doctor is blind, but he isn’t completely sure if rip likes him in that way or if he’s just misreading things? but in the end it is, in fact, the doctor who goes the extra mile, and then rip just loses his whole mind and needs some serious self-control when he finds out he’s allowed to kiss the doctor in this way

who brings flowers home aw man... i like to think the doctor surprises him with it in an attempt to court him in a human way. and though rip isn’t a regular human he does know what flowers symbolise, and it gets to him because... aw, man, he got him flowers! one day it is going to be flowers from a planet that isn’t earth, and rip-- in all his tendencies to keep comfort items-- will end up pressing every flower he gets and keeping them in scrapbooks he thinks he’s being sneaky about it and the doctor doesn’t know, but... the doctor definitely knows that rip’s a sentimental bastard, and that’s wh he keeps giving him this stuff

who is the best cook is rip surprised that the doctor cooks better than him? he is not. what he is surprised by is the fact that the doctor can handle food with as much seasoning as rip needs, because he’s so used to having to adjust to other people’s “normal” tastebuds instead of them adjusting to the fact he needs killer amounts of seasoning to be able to taste anything no offence to his adoptive mum, but in objective terms of taste alone, the doctor might make better food than she does... i don’t think rip’s eaten as often as he eats with the doctor in ages, too

#[ TIME TRAVELLING... BOYFRIENDS...#i love them and i love u thank u bless u ]#FOLLOWTHEDRUMS13 #OOC MEME.#YOU WERE ALWAYS GOLD TO ME.

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the-firebird69 · 2 years

Text

That's funny watching them playing anyways he killed me this morning from here he said I must have the ship with a partial Captain t Kirk accent and he wants to see pirate gambling casino almost a half mile long this is claim to fame and it will have everything on it a casino and spa pirates real ones whoa that's our response and I see Mexicans you know s. But no we're going to build this and we're seeking permits and international water sir only 100 miles out and even in the Gulf I'm going to float around in Florida until we can come in they've had these things before casinos and the max are interested and so are we cuz we have to protect her the giant black pearl will call it in a sense is no it's the Black Pearl 2 because it happens first... Two jokes right out of the box you saying it is the Black Pearl he wants to have a giant black pearl looking thing and people think of thorium balls you know those naked statues holding it up but they're like big you know the people that get this God impression. And you have of course some statues of some pirates and you can have them a strange room but I don't have any of that stuff but real pirating real pirates around walking around to asking you questions and pirate women and serving drinks and they can wear the funny outfits not the one that the girl wears in the pirates of the Caribbean but maybe like Calypso more probably hire her if she's available for singing and stuff and it'll be like really weird shouldn't she be in The stockade... Of course it says yes and we're going to try and make up the deal without the ship so you know actually it ships pretty much built so we're going to send you the pics and stuff and it's for singing and entertaining Saturday night on Saturday nights and she's interested and yeah I'll have to have a helo pad and yes a passenger helicopter will have several running they don't have a ferry that goes real fast still take an hour... And you can do these hover ships and they go really fast and they're really hardly in the water and if you're going to wipe out you can fly a little bit they're kind of dangerous so your version so we're going to use those he says, will modify them a bit so people are interested they go like 200 mph since a half hour drive they can't get any closer out of the thing eject I'll put a dock there at the ship.

Well for cruises too and cruises to the ship and then the ship will go on a cruise and it'll go through by like Puerto Rico or the Grand Caymans and it might even have stops because you can stop in those ports wait a minute okay the Grand canyons or Dominican Republic all of which are part of the USA almost more or less and they allow that kind of s*** there so we're going to do that and if you want to depart from Miami you can't do so it's going to be in one of those hellacious quotes and it fits a lot of people like 800 people and the ship will have a capacity of $40, 000 patrons you might have to have several but it's going to be a pirate ship it looks like a humongous pirate ship with the mass and everything if we have to go to sale we go to sale everyone have to pitch in and help will hv enough cosplay for all plus but twice as many costumes and we'll have costume balls and contests and pirates saying contests part poems which will be original all sorts of pirate stuff empire contests and pirate booze and all sorts of pirate gambling it's different games by the way pirates gamble different games high Stake games for different too all pirate games

Are you going to open it probably a great opening will be Friday night and a mild opening is Thursday and we're going to have calypso the actress who is really Rihanna saying on Saturday night so far we booked her we think we have to give her some gifts and stuff maybe a brand new year to get to the games will probably leave from the Caymans don't forget your little deposit book

Thor Freya

We love it little stupid idea to make a huge pirate ship gambling casino trying to infiltrate for crying out loud

I think she's inhaled another bug

Hera

Zues

You're going to go ahead and do this idea that's a rocking idea pirate ship casino they're real big one might even have little ones around the island he said it's a good idea too or even like tours you do like a gambling tour which is a great idea and complimentary booze and all of our vessels don't worry we can afford it it's grog, seriously it's not grog and some of it will be complimentary each trip a certain drink a new one or when we're giving on a special each and every trip will a trip will have a promotion

Olympus

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odderancyart · 7 years

Text

On a Never Resting Sea

Chapter XXVI: Stay

First Last Epilogue

AO3

Summary: Razz, the heir of the Beobyrian Empire, is on his way home from a diplomatic mission as his ship gets attacked by pirates. Suddenly he finds himself taken as hostage, and it doesn’t seem like the pirates are planning to exchange him for a ransom anytime soon. How annoying.

Warnings: violence, death, blood, hostage holding, kidnapping, prostitution

Almost sagging in relief, Razz clenched Marmalade’s mane in his hand. Fucking hell that had been close. He would’ve gotten Red out of there nevertheless (he hoped, wanted to believe), but the Mother had really saved him from doing it with an inadequate reason. He’d have to get her another sacrifice, something bigger. Perhaps he could send after a bear from Skogr – Beobyra and Aellwyn’s only forest. Which was literally just named Forest because of that.

Still, he forced himself to remain straight and neutral as the crew left together with some guards to walk back to the castle. A disapproving mumble came from the Viscountess of Dreyma, and he turned to stare at her. “DID YOU SAY SOMETHING, MILADY?”

At his disapproving tone, she shook her head and curtsied lightly, despite still looking unhappy. “No, Your Majesty. Nothing.”

With a nod, he turned to look at his brother. Slim was staring at him. He did not look happy. With furrowed brow and his hands gripping his reins tightly, he quietly demanded an explanation. Whispering, Razz told him, “Back home, I’ll tell you, alright?”

As Slim nodded stiffly, he turned to the crowd, smiling. “WELL, THAT WAS DRAMATIC. BUT IT IS STILL THE SPRING SACRIFICE. CELEBRATE OUR MOTHER, BELOVED SUBJECTS, AND FEAST UNTIL DAWN IN HER HONOUR.”

At his words, the people shrugged. They seemed disappointed at the lack of the awaited mass-execution, even angry, but none of them complained. Partially because it was Razz’s right to do however he wished, partially because it had obviously been the Mother’s will, and probably partially because the small army of Elites standing behind him. The music began to play again, and everyone marched back to the Hills of Ancient for the continued feast. Even so, Razz waved Alphys to his side.

“Let’s go home,” he told her, and she grinned widely, nodding. She looked proud, which eased Razz’s soul slightly. For what he was planning, he’d need all the support he could get, because the Court would not be happy. He turned to Slim. “Could you stay for a while yet, brother? I need to do a few things before I can explain.”

Sighing, Slim nodded. Nevertheless, he still looked very unhappy. “As you wish, Your Majesty.”

Razz nodded gratefully before he signed for Alphys and half of the Elites to follow him. She rode by his side, although still just behind, and studied him closely.

“W-w-what are you pl-planning?” she asked.

“Something very stupid.”

With Alphys by his side, he made his way into one of the servant dinner rooms. In there, the entire crew sat hunched over bowls of soup and big loaves of bread. Probably the fastest food the kitchen staff had been able to prepare. They were all throwing the food into their mouths. Quite disgusting, but Razz supposed it was justifiable. The dungeons didn’t exactly have the best menu. None of them looked up until Alphys loudly cleared her throat. Then, Undyne was the first to turn her head up to stare at them, followed by Fell and Red.

After quickly processing, Fell quickly flew up from the wooden bench before kneeling. Undyne, however, only stared at him, and Red didn’t really seem to know how to react. The rest of the crew had mixed reactions, some following Fell and some Undyne. Alphys glared at them for the disrespect, but didn’t move as Razz shook his head. His boots were quiet against the wooden floor as he walked forward, Alphys closely behind. It wasn’t completely ruled out that someone would attack. Even if that would be nothing but foolish.

Taking a deep breath, he looked at Red. “May I talk to you? Privately?”

Undyne opened her mouth, probably to protest. She was unable to, however, as Red put his hand over her mouth. “o’ course.”

After standing up, he followed Razz out of the room. As they walked through the castle hallways in silence, he gawked at basically everything, and it was quite adorable. These halls were new, only about two hundred years or so, and were therefore covered in marble and paintings in golden frames. Eventually they reached his office, which was closer than his private chambers. He gestured for Razz to take the padded chair as he himself took the armchair. Those were in here for his business meetings with his brother, so technically Red has little place in them. But what the fuck. Due to his poor manners, Red didn’t hesitate to take it.

Razz gestured for Alphys to leave the room, and she saluted in confirmation. Yet before she left, when she walked past Red, she leaned down and grinned sharply. “H-hurt him, and I w-will turn you into a needle pi-pillow. Understood?”

Rolling his eyes, Razz watched in half amusement half annoyance as Red stuttered out an “understood.” She could be so overprotective sometimes. He suspected it was result of the death of his mother. If the highly protected queen could die in an accident, then he could too. At least he assumed that was the explanation. He’d never asked.

The doors closed behind him. They were alone. Something very strange for Razz. He could count on one hand the times he’d been without guards or servants around – not counting the months on Sarynthia. He clenched his fists as he began to shrug off his coat. It was far too warm in here for so much fur. Once it was off, he realized that Red was staring at him, wide-eyed. “WHAT?”

“ya’ve… got somethin’ there,” Red slowly said, pointing at his dress. Looking down, Razz snorted. The rabbit blood was very clear against the white dress; he’d have to throw it out later. This was too much to be washed away without staining.

“IT’S JUST RABBIT BLOOD,” he explained, “FROM THE SACRIFICE CEREMONY THIS MORNING.”

“oh, ‘kay.” The other seemed to relax at that, sagging in the chair. “so… what didya wanna talk ‘bout?”

For a moment, Razz wasn’t sure what to say. This was a bad idea. It was just a bad idea. Then he took a deep breath, leaning back in the armchair. He forced himself to look Red in the eyes.

“Firstly,” he mumbled, “I wanted to apologize for keeping you locked up in the dungeons for a whole week. Especially next to Rosamunde.”

“who?”

“The woman in the cell next to you,” Razz explained, fiddling with his necklace, and Red’s eyes widened. “She’s not exactly sane. The dungeon does that to people after enough time. It’s part of its purpose.”

When Red nodded mutely, he continued, “And… I love you. I- I don’t want you to leave, I don’t want to lose you. So- and this is either the most stupid thing I’ve ever done or the smartest, but there is no other way -“ he stood up, and from the pocked of his coat he picked out a thin golden chain before walking up to Red, holding it up. “-Red, will you marry me?”

Complete silence met him. The other stared at him with wide eyes and open mouth. Swallowing, Razz elaborated, “It’d be a long engagement. With a chance for us both to break it off, and if you do I will make sure no one suffers from it. If you accept, you will have quite a hard time to fit in at the Court, you realize that, but I’m sure that with some time everyone would accept y-“

He was rambling. Razz never rambled. When he realized, he quickly cut himself off. Instead he just waited in silence, staring at Red as he opened and closed his mouth a couple times. His soul pounded in his chest, almost worse than it had during the would-be execution.

“i- i can’t,” Red finally said. It felt like someone stabbed a knife into Razz’s soul, but he nodded, swallowing down the hurt. Before he could say anything, Red continued. “yer- yer th’ empress, razz. th queen o’ beobyra. ‘m- ‘m a whore’s child, a pirate, a criminal. i can’t- it’d ruin yer reputation. ‘n’- i'd be king, razz. a nobody, on th’ throne.”

“Do you love me, Red?” Razz managed to ask, his voice almost not sounding choked at all. At least that was what he told himself. Red stared at him, before slowly nodding.

“i- i do, but-“

“I love you too. And I don’t think I can ever be happy in a political marriage after knowing love. So- if you think you could stand the Court’s dislike until they got used to you, and you think you could be happy here, with me- I don’t care. I don’t care all those things, about you being a criminal or a bastard. I don’t fucking care. So I ask again, will you marry me? Fell, and Undyne, and whoever you want, can of course stay as well. And you will be a great King Consort, I am sure of it. Your main duties will be to our family, except for when I am unable to rule the country, anyway.”

Red nodded. His eyes were teary, but he nodded. “yeah.”

For a short moment, Razz’s soul stopped. Then he broke out into a huge grin, feeling tears well up in his own eyes as well. Gingerly, he took Red’s hand and held it up before fastening the golden chain around his wrist. On it, a love poem his father had written to his mother was inscribed. It was very small, almost impossible to read due to the chain’s thinness, but it was there. Smiling softly, he said, “It was my Mother’s engagement bracelet.”

A broken laugh escaped Red as he suddenly stood up. Carefully, he took Razz’s face between his hands, smiling widely. “I’m honoured, treasure. I am.” He leaned forward. “May I?”

Moments after Razz nodded, he leaned forward and gently pressed their teeth together. Razz gasped, throwing his arms over his fiancé’s shoulders. As he kissed back, he laughed into the kiss. This was definitely both the stupidest and best decision he’d ever made. And he didn’t regret it one bit.

“You did what?!”

“Proposed, brother,” Razz repeated, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets. He’d changed clothes by now, from the white, blood-drenched dress to a black and red suit. As Slim began to pace the room, he sighed softly. He’d known the other would react like this. “And Red said yes.”

The other froze, twisting around to stare at him. His hands were flailing, like he didn’t know what to do with them. Razz’s soul ached a little at the worry and betrayal evident on his brother’s face. Taking a step forward, he took Slim’s hand, squeezing it lightly. He attempted to smile. “I love him. And he loves me, too. I know that what they did was horrible – believe me, I know. But I love him. He makes me happy. Please, don’t be angry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I didn’t want to risk you talking me out of it.”

It was like all energy ran out of Slim. He slouched, as he often did when they were alone, and shook his head. “I- I’m not angry. Never with you. I just- I wish you’d told me.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” As Razz spoke, he tiptoed to throw his arms over his brother’s shoulders. Hugging him tightly, he mumbled. “But please. Support me in this. The Court isn’t going to like it.”

A quiet chuckle. As he hugged back, Slim mumbled, “That’s the least one can say. But of course. Of course I’ll support you. I want you to be happy.”

“Thank you.”

Tension ran high at the royal table. The duke had tried to hold a polite conversation, but once Alphys’ father had asked why, by the Mother, he’d taken the pirates back to the castle after pardoning them, he’d had to give up. Which was good for Razz, because he was too nervous to hold polite conversation. Hadn’t he been trained in holding up a façade since he was a babybones, he would’ve been trembling now. As it was, however, he probably only looked politely neutral.

He would have invited Red and Fell to this dinner, to sit nearby Blue and Stretch, but he had realized this was a bad idea. Not only would everyone here be incredibly hostile, but they’d also embarrass themselves and him due to their poor table manners.

On his side, Slim sat stiff. Still he held an idle yet polite conversation with his table neighbour. Still, no matter how much he knew he should, Razz couldn’t find it in him to do the same. It just felt impossible. Especially since everyone demanded to know why he just hadn’t sent the pirates away after pardoning them. He didn’t know how to explain that. Not without revealing everything too early. Slowly chewing his grilled vegetables, he sighed. Most everyone was finished with their food. Taking his knife, he hit it lightly against his wine glass. The twang echoed through the hall. In the back of the room, the violinist entertaining the dinner guests immediately stopped playing, and the murmur of a hundred people speaking at once died out.

When he stood up, everyone moved to follow. As he waved for them not to, everyone stayed in their seats though. Clasping his hands behind his back, Razz spoke: “I have two announcements to make.”

By his side, he could see Slim stiffen slightly. Everyone else, however, looked at him in curiosity. “FIRST OF ALL, THE NEXT COUNTRY WHICH WILL BE ADDED TO THE BEOBYRIAN EMPIRE IS TRIMA. WE SHALL STRIKE FAST AND HARD.” He had sworn on it after getting thrown into the ocean by those Triman sailors, after all. Cheers rose from the crowd until he waved for them to settle down. “THE PLANNING FOR THE FIRST ATTACK WILL BEGIN DIRECTLY AFTER MY CORONATION. SECONDLY, I AM ENGAGED.”

At that, the duke and a hundred other people jerked and stared at him in bewilderment. They certainly had not been expecting that. The problem that was finding Razz a fitting spouse had worried the realm since he was a fifteen and they’d begun looking for someone he could marry once he was an adult. Some of the courtiers looked relieved, some intrigued, and some looked worried. It was understandable. Normally, there would’ve been some warning about him having found a potential partner. He took a deep breath before he continued.

“IT WILL BE A LONGER ENGAGEMENT. MY FIANCÉ IS RED KOIREE OF PEOSANA.” A collective gasp came from the courtiers. Even the servants running around froze in their tracks. Schooling his face into a strict, regal mask, Razz continued, “AND I WILL NOT HEAR ANY COMPLAINTS ABOUT MY CHOICE OF FUTURE HUSBAND. HOWEVER, TO CALM YOU, I SHALL GIVE YOU MY REASONING FOR CHOOSING HIM. FIRST AND FOREMOST, I HAVE COME TO LOVE HIM. BUT AS I WOULD NOT RISK BEOBYRA’S SAFETY FOR LOVE, I CAN PROMISE YOU THAT HE WILL FIT INTO THE ROLE OF KING CONSORT.”

The Court seemed to remain unconvinced as he listed a few of Red’s redeeming qualities. His loyalty, his intelligence, his kindness. That was to be expected. This was a scandal. Razz would be the first Beobyrian ruler to marry someone of common birth, and this commoner was not even Beobyrian. To see the people would react would be highly interesting. Finally, he ended his miniature speech with saying, “FRANKLY, RED IS THE BEST CANDIDATE FOR KING CONSORT I HAVE YET TO MEET, AND THE MOTHER SEEMS TO APPROVE, SEEING HOW SHE STOPPED THE EXECUTION, SO TO NOT MARRY HIM BECAUSE OF SCANDALS OR TRADITIONS IS ABSOLUTE HOGWASH.”

As he once again sat, the courtiers looked concerned, but no one moved to complain. It was his right as the Mother’s chosen ruler of Beobyra to marry whomever he wished. Razz swept his glass of cool wine immediately. The violins begun to play again. Thank the Mother, that had gone well.

The needle moved slowly over the embroidery, creating a picture of a beautiful sunset. A small smile was on Razz’s face as he continued his little project. For the first time today, he felt calm. Embroidering was such a calming activity. Using a small silver sax, he cut of the pink thread, changing it to blue. He’d been working at this one for over a month before he travelled to Waeldé. Tdo get to finish it was satisfying. Suddenly it knocked on the door of his parlour. With a sigh, he nodded for the maids to let whoever it was in.

In the door, once they’d opened, stood a very concerned-looking Duke af Thyragård. Putting his embroidery aside as the duke bowed, Razz nodded for him to come inside. The duke remained standing until he was offered a stool Sylvie came in with.

“Milord,” Razz greeted levelly, folding his hands in his lap. “You look concerned.”

The duke nodded slowly, leaning forward. “I am, Your Majesty. Your engagement with the pirate- I did not wish to ask before, but I feel as though I need to. I hope I am not too forward, but… It is not because of any… unwanted… consequences?”

Razz blinked. Did he- had he just suggested- Gaping, he stared at the duke in disbelief for a moment before he glared viciously at the other. The duke looked uneasy beneath his gaze, clenching his hands slightly.

“Are you suggesting that I proposed because I am carrying a bastard, milord? That my fiancé did something as terrible as forcing me into bed with him?” he asked coldly. The duke didn’t move, nor speak. “Or, perhaps you are suggesting that I willingly went against the Mother Herself and slept with someone outside of wedlock?”

At that, the duke flinched and quickly shook both head and hands. “No, no, of course not, Your Majesty. I would never-“

“Good,” Razz interrupted sharply. “Then we shall not speak of this anymore. I am marrying Red, and I will not accept any such accusations against neither mine nor his name. Understood?”

The duke sighed, bowing his head. “Understood, Your Majesty. I apologize.”

Razz only nodded before he took up his embroidery again, dismissing the noble.

Just like that, the world had warmed. Fell and Red had both been given their own personal chambers, complete with their own bedchambers, bathrooms, offices and even a small parlour. Being the Queen’s fiancé and future brother-in-law had its advantages. Even if it also caused Red to get quite a few unhappy and frankly degrading gazes whenever he was in public areas of the castle and not in Razz’s company. It was uncomfortable, even a little scary, but he was getting used to it. Fell, on the other hand, had already begun training to join the Castle Guard. Perhaps even the Elite.

And when he’d woken up this morning, it had been to the sound of a huge pile of snow falling from the castle roof. It had hit the windowsill, and since his bed was by one of the big windows, he’d woken right up. When looking out, he was met with a sky painted in pink and yellow, and a sun which shone warmly even through the glass.

The day before it had been the usual chill of northern winters, and today the world felt almost warm. Immediately, Razz had cancelled his afternoon meetings. Said he’d take a few hours off for once. Which was why he, Razz, Fell, Undyne, Slim, Blue, Stretch and Captain Alphys were all sitting around a table in the middle of a field outside the city, dressed in thick fur coats. Taking up a cinnamon baked apple, Red leaned back in his chair and smiled. They were out of the castle, away from all the courtiers and the constant buzz of city life. And the constant, intense classes Razz had put them in. Etiquette, reading and writing, history, politics, horse riding- the list was endless. It was exhausting, to say the least. Yet he happily did it, for many reasons. Firstly, for Razz’s sake of course, and secondly, because Fell would certainly kill him if he passed up the chance for an education.

As he bit down into the apple, the taste was heavenly. He hadn’t had cinnamon in so long. In Peosana it was a common spice, but in these parts of Natéa it was so expensive he’d almost choked when finding out. Generally, almost all spices around here were so expensive. He missed the spicy foods of home. At his left, Razz smiled when he almost moaned. And to his right, Fell was carefully eating a dumpling. He was looking a little concerned.

“YOUR MAJESTY, WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN?” he asked suddenly, putting down his dumpling on his plate. Razz turned his way, tilting his head in confusion. Fell clarified, “OUR CABIN KIDS. THERE WEREN’T IN THE DUNGEON, NOR AT THE EXECUTION. THEIR FAMILIES ARE WORRIED, AND SO AM I.”

After a second, Razz let out an “oohh”- sound, and Red blinked. How the hell had he forgotten about the kids? Leo and Fuku and Aashi and Daman. Now anxious, he turned to look at Razz has they waited for him to answer. Finally, Razz said: “I APOLOGIZE, I COMPLETELY FORGOT. THEY’RE AT THE INSITUTION FOR CRIMINAL CHILDREN.”

Red’s soul skipped a beat at the reply. An institution? Fuck no. From everything he’d heard those were the places you’d want to avoid at any cost, were you poor or ‘a difficult child’. Their kids were both. The picnic had gone completely silent. The only noises were the birdsong in the background and the constant noise of falling snow. Just as he exchanged a horrified gaze with his brother, Prince Slim cleared his throat slightly.

“Why those faces?” he asked dryly. Apparently, their horror had been visible. “One’d think you’d be grateful we do not kill children but instead give them a chance to grow up to be proper citizens.”

Unlike you went unsaid. But obviously very unwillingly. It was understandable, kind of, but the prince was the coldest in the entire Beobyrian court. At least in private. Before the Court, he supported his brother, luckily. Red supposed he couldn’t blame him, he’d too hate whomever had kidnapped his brother. Still, it made it hard for Red to like him.

“we are, yer highness,” he replied as politely as he could. The words still came out shorter than they should have. Then he turned to Razz, grabbing his fiancé’s hand. He squeezed lightly. “get ‘em out o’ there, treasure. please. as quick as possible.”

Blinking in confusion, Razz nodded. With a hand gesture, he called one of the Elites on duty to them. The soldier saluted. The Elite’s own salute, Red had learnt since he now had his own bodyguards from the unit. A closed fist first over the forehead, then over the soul. Razz saluted back, even while he still was sitting. “RIDE TO THE INSITUTE AND INFORM THEM THAT THE CHILDREN OF SARYNTHIA ARE TO BE REUNITED WITH THEIR FAMILIES IMMEDIATELY.”

The soldier saluted again before mounting his horse and immediately making his way back to Thyragård. Sighing in relief, he smiled gratefully at Razz. The other still seemed befuddled over their worry, but didn’t say anything about it. They all sank back into comfortable conversation, with Undyne and Alphys loudly trying to talk over each other, comparing how brave and skilled they were. Red would pay to see them fight.

At his side, Razz had now taken up conversation with Blue about castle-life. Stretch was as quiet as always. At the brothel, Red hadn’t met him more than a few times, but he’d always seemed very tense and very protective of Blue. This was the first time he’d seen him smile. Taking another sip of the warm elderberry juice, he watched them quietly. It was good to see Blue safe. He’d never allowed himself to care much for the other, knowing that prostitution was a dangerous job. Unwilling to get hurt by Blue falling ill or dying. But now he could admit to himself it’d only half-worked.

When he and Fell had arrived before the picnic, Fell had certainly been shocked to see the brothers here. Red had forgotten to tell him about them, and he had apparently not noticed during the not-execution. Shocked enough to exclaim, “What does the whore do here?”

Understandably, Blue had been a little shaken by that, but at least it had given them the whole story of what the hell he was doing here. And the servants had gotten strict orders not to tell anyone what they’d heard. Especially about Blue’s former occupation. Red had wondered about how this happened. His smile softened. Hearing what had happened only made him love Razz more. It was incredible, how the Queen of Beobyra would do such a thing for a lowlife such as a whore.

“OH, BLUE, STRETCH?” Razz suddenly asked, and Red tilted his head to hear better. “HAVE YOU TWO DECIDED WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR LIVES?”

After exchanging a gaze with his brother, Blue nodded. He smiled as he spoke, “Yes. We want to stay at the castle. But we – or at least I – would really like something to do. Being idle is uncomfortable. I’ve never been that before.”

“I SEE.” Razz sounded satisfied as he smutted on his cup of steaming hot juice. Since he still hadn’t let go off it, Red ran his fingers over the other’s hand. Deities, he was beautiful. “YOU DID SAY YOU WANTED TO BE A TAILOR, DID YOU NOT?” Blue nodded. Red hummed in surprise – that was news to him. “HOW ABOUT I GET YOU AN APPRENTICESHIP WITH ONE OF THE ROYAL TAILORS OR ACCESSORY-MAKERS?”

It was almost comedic how Blue’s eyes widened. Stars formed in them as he jumped where he saw sitting. Juice spilled over the sides of his goblet, down on his hands, but he didn’t seem to notice as he grinned widely. Next to him, Stretch smiled again.

“Really?” he gasped. “Thank you, Razz! I’d love to!”

Watching the interaction with a warm soul, Red turned to look at Razz instead of the excited Blue – it had taken some while to get used to calling him Blue instead of Blueberry, since that’s what he’d been calling him for three years by now, but he had now. His fiancé was chuckling as he watched Blue. Red tapped his shoulder to make him look his face. As he did, he gently took Razz’s face between his hands. The other’s purple eyes were truly gorgeous as he gazed at him like this.

“’m proud o’ ya,” he whispered, and Razz smile grew. Razz carefully freed himself from Red’s hands, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek. In the background, the thump of snow falling was heard again. When he accidentally glanced that way, he was met with the sight of Undyne fake-‘awww’-ing. He growled at her.

“Sorry,” muttered the prince, and Red turned in confusion, only to see Razz glaring at his brother. Huh. Wonder what he’d done now. Suddenly, Blue let out a hesitant noise. Most of them looked over at him, as he pointed at the sky. Wow. Red’s eyes widened. It’d be clear blue only an hour ago, but now it was incredibly grey. Blinking, he realized the world was dark. Almost like night, even if the snow made it slightly better.

“Snowstorm?” Blue asked anxiously. He was Aellwynian, he knew exactly how deadly it could be to get caught in one. But Alphys shook her head. She gestured toward the melting snow.

“No,” she said, just as a waterdrop hit Red’s nose. He gaped, but she was smiling widely. “R-rain. The fi-first sp-spring rain.” Pausing, she grabbed her goblet to down the juice. “P-Perhaps we should h-h-head home.”

As the servants quickly packed their things, they all mounted their horses. Red’s was a pliant horse who’d retired before being given to him, thankfully. If someone had put him on a horse like Razz’s Marmalade he’d be dead now. Demantha, he wasn’t made for horses. He was a sailor, not a rider. Although he couldn’t deny that there was a certain pleasure in managing to get the horse to do what he wished. Fell had too some difficulties with it, but as with everything else he was very determined to learn. Undyne already knew how to ride, from before she ran away from her parents.

Carefully, he told the horse to go forward, following Razz and Slim, who rode first. Too fast, the rain turned from just the occasional drop to an even rain, and Red shivered as he pulled his hood over his head. While he still had his own leather coat, he was very grateful Razz had given them proper clothing for Beobyra’s winters. Or spring, he supposed. And to be honest, it seemed like he wouldn’t get many occasions to wear the coat again. But it’d still stay in his ownership, having been the first thing he bought with his pirate money.

Just as they reached the city gates, the sky rumbled above them. A flash of lightening lit up the world. Within seconds, the rain is pouring down and the world is so dark Red could hardly see his grey horse’s head. He thought he could hear Razz – or is it Prince Slim, or Captain Alphys? – shout something, probably ‘gallop’, seeing how their horses then began to run. Despite how his soul pounded, he urged his own horse to run. As the rain hit his face, he clung to the horse’s mane, very much not thinking about how slippery the stone streets must be beneath its hooves.

He gasped in relief as they entered the Court yard and stable hands came rushing out to take the horses. He also felt a tiny bit guilty for forcing them out in this hellish rain. The group ran inside, and Razz laughed out loud as they finally reached the dry, warm castle.

“MOTHER, WH-WHAT A R-RAIN,” he stuttered out between shattering teeth, grinning loudly. “HAVEN’T SEEN T-THAT MUCH SI-SINCE… LAST S-S-SUMMER, HONESTLY. IT R-RAINS A LOT HERE.”

Before anyone else had a chance to speak, he continued, “WELL, WE BE-BETTER G-G-GET WARM. ALPHYS, WHEN Y-YOU’VE BATHED, COME T-TO MY PARLOUR. AND R-R-RED, CAN YOU C-COME AN HOUR B-BEFORE S-SUPPER? I W-WANT TO SHOW Y-YOU SOMETHING.”

“o’- o’ c-c-course,” he replied, shivering violently. Salina, a warm bath did sound great right now, even if it couldn’t be healthy to bathe as much as the Beobyrians wanted him to do.

When Red came to Razz’s new chambers, the door to his parlour was already open. His fiancé and Captain Alphys were still in there, discussing something. Now warm again and dressed in a shirt with puffy arms, he walked in, raising a hand in greeting. Razz smiled at him, and Captain Alphys gave him a sharp grin. The room fell quiet, the sound of his boot heels clicking against the stone floor the marble floor the only sound. Razz had just moved to the Regent’s Chambers, from the rooms he’d occupied since childhood. Apparently, he was very happy over this, said it made his rulership feel more real. Red, on the other hand, was just amazed over how much space Razz had now. His old chambers hadn’t been small at all, but here he had bedchamber, private parlour, official parlour, a small library, a new office, and even more. It was so grand. Why did anyone need so much space on their own?

Razz gestured for him to sit down in the couch opposite of him. Once he did, Captain Alphys grinned widely at him and leaned forward. “G-g-good evening, Red. I was j-just te-telling Razz here about an adulterer th-th-the Castle Guard ca-caught this morning.”

Her voice was oddly threatening, and Red fought the urge to lean backwards where he was sitting. At her side, Razz rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything. “oh?”

“Yes,” she confirmed, smile going even sharper. “Th-they were the spouse of one of the r-r-royal hatters and cheated wi-with a maid. The execution is t-t-tomorrow, if you w-want to come and w-watch.”

Red gaped, even as his body felt cold again beneath her gaze. Of course he wasn’t going to cheat on Razz, if that was what she meant, but what the fuck. The punishment for adultery was death? What the hell? She stared at him, almost like she was staring into his soul, until Razz slapped her arm. “STOP SCARING MY FIANCÉ, ALPH.”

The captain broke the eye contact, but her aura was still very threatening. Forcing himself to speak, Red replied, “i think i’ll skip ‘t, cap’n. don’ know if i’ll ever go to an execution again.”

Just like that, Captain Alphys stopped seeming threatening. Instead she laughed out loud, nodded, and stood up. After taking farewell, she left him and Razz alone. Staring at Razz, he asked about the punishment, just to make sure he hadn’t just been messed with.

Carelessly, Razz replied, “YES, THAT IS TRUE. ALTHOUGH THE PUNISHMENT WOULD GET WORSE IF IT WAS SOMEONE OF HIGHER STATUS WHO’D BEEN CHEATED ON. ANYWAY, RED, WILL YOU COME WITH ME?”

Speechless, Red nodded. Razz stood up, making his way to the back of the parlour where a door was. Servants held it open, and Red nodded to them in thanks as he passed them. The next room was even grander than the private parlour. The walls were painted white, but covered in gold-patterns, the floor was of polished light wood. Behind a low, golden fence, an enormous bed stood. It was big enough to fit at least five people. Unable to help himself, Red gaped again. The ceiling was painted, not with abstract motives but with people and animals and what must be their goddess. A gigantic chandelier hung in the roof.

They weren’t alone. Guards stood along the walls, as always. Apparently they wouldn’t be allowed to be alone until their wedding night. Neither was he allowed to touch Razz too much, or to kiss too long, or to trace the bone of his sometimes-bare shoulders with his finger. So many rules. So many restrictions. It was worth it.

Razz gestured for him to sit down in a small couch by the wall. It was beige, with great embroidered flowers in gold and bronze. Just like everything in the room, it was beautiful. Meanwhile, Razz picked out something from the small cabinet beneath his bedtable. A grey box. Red recognized it, although he could not remember from where.

As Razz sat down next to him, he placed the box gently in his lap. It was simple, but quite lovely. Pewter, probably. When Razz smiled at him, his soul warmed while skipping a beat at the same time. The expression was so full of trust. Placing a hand on the box, Razz inhaled slowly.

“This,” he said quietly, moving his fingers over the lid, “is Valkyria’s music box. It’s been in my family for a thousand years, and was made by Queen Thyra the Founder herself. Normally, we don’t permit anyone outside of our family to see it, so this is very special, Red. But I wanted to show both you and my brother that I trust you.”

“There is a legend, which is one of the reason we keep it secret, which says that as long as it is in our ownership, the Valkyrias will stay at Beobyra’s throne, no matter what happens. If we lose it, we will lose the throne as well. Perhaps Queen Thyra somehow lives in it, and protects our crown. The second reason-“ Razz opened the music box, and a sweet melody filled the room. It sounded like a lullaby, calm, sweet, and lovely. Red sat silent, listening to his fiancé and to the beautiful tunes. “-is this. This song is as old as Beobyra. Probably older. It’s a song which has followed my ancestors through life, from their cradles until their deaths on the battlefields. We sing it as our children’s first lullaby, and we sing it as we honour our dead. It’s a song which no one but my family remember anymore. We call it the Song of Beobyra, but also the Song of Valkyria.”

“Would the music box and its song disappear in history, then so would also we. A thousand years of Valkyrias would be lost, and all future generations.” He looked at Red, fully serious. The expression on Razz’s face was more honest than any expression he had ever seen before. “So you must promise me that you won’t tell anyone. Not even your brother.”

Without saying a word, Red moved his hand to put on Razz’s. He didn’t squeeze, just let it rest there. Solemnly, he nodded. “i promise. i swear on th’ pravannala.”

It was the highest promise a Peosani could make, to swear on their ancestors. Would such an oath be broken, the oath-breaker would lose all protection from their family, both dead and living. After an eternal moment, Razz exhaled loudly. With a smile, he nodded too. After carefully closing the music box, he took Red’s hand between his, pressing a gentle kiss to it.

“Thank you.”

The music playing was solemn, celebratory. Inhaling deeply, then exhaling again, Razz stared straight forward as he prepared himself to enter the castle temple. For the last time, he straightened out his huge skirt, and the maid who was here to help him made sure the purple mantle which hung from his shoulders and rested on the floor meters behind him lied as it should. Then, the doors opened.

Holding his head high, he walked into the main hall. The people gathered immediately rose. The stone walls and pillars were decorated in ribbons and spring’s earliest flowers, but Razz saw very little of it. His focus was all on the front of the hall. When he passed, the guests bowed and curtsied deeply, until he had reached the altar. In front of him, dressed in white robes almost as magnificent as his dress, the High Priestess stood. In difference to the others, she did not kneel. Instead she only dipped her head in respect. The shuffle of five hundred people sitting down echoed through the table. When he stopped, facing her, the orchestra stopped playing. The temple was completely silent.

She then stepped aside, letting him face iron statue of the Mother Goddess behind her. Razz knelt. Bowing his head to Her, he declared, “BEFORE YOU, MOTHER, I SWEAR TO BE AN OBEDIENT AND LOYAL SERVANT, I SWEAR TO LIVE AS YOU HAVE DECIDED, AND I SWEAR TO RULE AS YOU SEE FIT.”

“Then rise,” the High Priestess said, her voice clear and powerful. It was loud between the stonewalls, but somehow did not echo. Swiftly, he did as told, and found himself facing her again. His soul skipped a beat, but he did not move a muscle. With a solemn expression on his face, he waited for her to continue. “Razz Thyra Jarle Frej, you are Beobyra’s twenty-fourth regent. We are your people. We are your realm. And you are chosen by the Mother Goddess to rule us. May you do so with strength and justice.”

With a hand gesture, she called forward a priestess. The priestess curtsied deeply for Razz as she held out a silk pillow, on which the Crown rested. Despite wishing to look, Razz kept his gaze directed forward. Then she took the crown, and he turned around to face the audience. The temple was filled with people. Nobility, commoners, foreign dignitaries. Among others, the Sanath of Peosana was here, as a first attempt at healing their relationship.

But the most important people sat in the front row. Slim and Red. It was hard not to smile as he saw them, but Razz managed. They were both dressed in formal suits, and Red was incredibly handsome. Then the High Priestess walked up behind him, and he could sense how she held up the pale gold crown above his head. It had been forged specifically for him, as was tradition, with red and purple jewels. His soul beat slowly as she began to speak.

“I hereby crown you, Razz of the Valkyria dynasty, Fourth of your name, to the supreme ruler of Beobyra and the Beobyrian Empire.” With those words, the crown was placed on his head. He straightened his back even more, gazing out over his people. Razz looked straight at his brother and fiancé as the High Priestess spoke those last words. Slim smiled joyously as he rose, before bowing his head as he knelt. Red gave him a warm smile, making Razz’s soul flutter, before doing the same, lowering himself to the floor, bowing his head deeply.

“Bow before your Queen and Empress.”

Leaning toward the balcony fence, Red breathed in the cold air. Above them, the stars shone brightly. Zalû was only crescent, and they were beautiful. He had unbuttoned the fancy coat he wore, allowed the chill to creep over his bones. By his side stood Fell, who too was watching the stars. In the background, the orchestra was still playing. The coronation ball had been going on for hours, and he’d needed a pause. The entire evening had been spent being introduced to different dignitaries and nobles as the Queen’s fiancé and dancing and talking, and he was exhausted. He’d even met His Holy Majesty the Sanath. Who had been oddly amused over his privateers ending up here. Red chuckled.

“What?” Fell asked softly, smiling contently. He truly loved court life. Red had always said that he would’ve fit better at a court than on a pirate ship. Red grinned at him before glancing down on the engagement bracelet around his wrist. It gleamed in the light of the torches on the wall.

“nothin’, i just-“ He chuckled again. “-eight months ago we were robbin’ ships, ‘n’ now… ‘m gettin’ married, bro. we’re at th’ beobyrian court. who would’ve believed?”

“True,” Fell agreed, staring up at the stars again. His voice was soft, happy. “The deities play odd games. And we need to send after Uncle Arav and cousin Nitya.”

Nodding absentmindedly, Red scratched his head. They were both shivering lightly, but he didn’t wish to go back in yet. Suddenly a quiet laugh came from behind. When they looked back, Razz stood there. Smiling at them, he walked up to the fence as well. Far beneath them, the Beast’s Bay rested, calm so close to the coast. The stars reflected in it, so there were double skies. Fell chuckled.

“I’ll leave you alone,” he said, nodding to Razz. “Your Majesty.”

As he began to leave, Razz called out, “You can call me ‘Razz’, you know. We’re going to be family, after all.”

Without looking back, Fell nodded. But Red knew he was happy to hear that. His twin brother, always so formal. As he turned to his fiancé, Red smiled softly. The other was still dressed in his coronation dress, although the mantle had been removed, and he shone. His eyes were bright and his smile filled with joy. It made Red happy.

“shouldn’t ya be inside with yer guests?” he whispered, and Razz nodded, but grinned.

“I should. But even queens and empresses need a pause sometimes.”

Only nodding, Red placed a hand over Razz’s, and Razz intertwined their fingers. For a long while, they just stood there in the silence. Music still came from inside, and the waves of his beloved sea bobbed beneath the mountain the castle lied on. It was nothing special, and it was everything, and Red didn’t think he’d ever been this happy.

“I love you,” Razz mumbled, leaning into his side. Careful not to disturb the dress, Red embraced him with one arm as they kept watching the stars. He smiled.

“i love ya too.”

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weird-stash-gangsta-cat · 7 years

Text

Hamilton Quotes I Remember

-Spit a verse, BURR!!!

-Whatever the hell it is you do in Monticello.

-So what I’d miss?

-Cuz I’m the president.

-My god…

-Two virgians and an immigrant walk into a room.

-Whaaaaaaaat!

-*deep voice* The Reynolds Phamplet.

-Daddy’s calling.

-She’s married to a British officer. Oh shit.

-Dying is easy young man, living is harder.

-Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy!

-Okay so were doing this.

-The Schyler Sisters.

-Congratulations, you invented a new kind of stupid.

A “damge you can never undo” kinda stupid.

An “Open up all the cages in a zoo” kinda stupid.

Clearly you didn’t think this through, kinda stupid. Lets review.

You took a rumor a few maybe two people knew and refuted it by sharing and affair of which no one has accused you.

I begged you to take a break, you refused to. So scared of what your enemies are gonna do to you. Your the only enemy you ever seem to lose to.

You know why Jefferson can do what he wants?

He doesn’t dignify school-yard taunts with a response.

So yeah, congratulations.

Angelica

You’ve redefined your legacy.

Congratulations.

It was an act of political sacrifice!

Sacrifice?

I languished in a lovelish marriage in london. I lived only to read your letters. I look at you and think ‘God, what have we done with our lives and where did it get us. That doesn’t wipe the tears of the years away and I’m back in the city and I’m here to stay.

And you know what I’m here to do?

Angelica

I’m not here for you.

I know my own sister like I know my own mind. You will never find soneone as trusting or as kind.

And a million years ago she said "this ones mine".

So I stood by.

Do you know why?

I love my sister more than anything in this life. I will choose her happiness over mine every time.

Eliza

Is the best thing in our lives. So never lose sight of the fact that you have been blessed with the best wife. Confratulations. For the rest of your life. Every sacrifice you make is for my sister, give her the best life. Congratulations!

-I may not live to see are glory, I may not live to see are glory. But I’ve seen wonders great and small. Wonders great and small. And if the tomcat can get married, if Alexander can get married, there’s hope for are ass after all

-DAAAAAAYYYYYYUUUUUUM!!!

-My name is Phillip and I am a poet. I’m a little nervous but I can’t show it. I wrote this poem just to show it. And I just turned nine and I can write rthyms but you can’t write mine. WHAT!!

-Raise a glass to freedom.

-Ha, yeah right. Man openly campaingnes against me, talking about, "I look forward to are partnership."

Its crazy that the guy in second gets to be vice president.

Yeah, you know what. We can change that. You know why?

Why?

Cuz I'm the president.

-IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE!!! IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE!!! IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE!!! IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE!!

-Awesome, wow.

-SOURTHEN MOTHERFUCKIN DEMOCRATIC REPUBLICANS!!!

-CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME!!

-President John Adams, Good luck!

-I know him, that can’t be. Isn’t he that little guy that spoke to me all those years ago. What was it, 85. That poor man their going to eat him alive.

-Welcome folks, to THE ADAMS ADMINISTRATION!!!

-John fires Hamilton right on sight but Hamilton still wants to fight not right. Calls him creo bastard in his taunts. Hamilton publishes his response, 'Sit down John YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKER!!!“

-Miss’s Washington names her feral tomcat after him, that’s true.

-I will not throw away my shot.

-A legacy is planting seeds in a garden that you never get to see.

-Laurens, do not throw away your shot.

-How did we know that this plan would work? We had a spy on the inside, that’s right, HERCULES MULLIGAN!! A tailor spyin on the britiah government. I take their measurements, information, and then I smuggle it.

-I will never be satisfied.

-Immigrants, we get the job down!

-Sir do you want me to do Tresaurey or State department?

State.

Les go.

-He was in the same spot his son died is that why?

-I wanna be in the room where it happens. I… Wanna be in the room where it happens.

-I got to France for more funds, Layette, I come back with more guns. And ships. And so the balance shifts.

-How do emearge from the battlefield waving Betray Rosses flag higher?

-Everyone give it up for Americas favorite fighing Frenchman, LAYETTE!!

-Hamilton wrote, THE OTHER 51!!

-I was invited to the constitional convestion.

-My dog speaks more elquiently than you. *insert dog whine.*

-I’m a general, WEEEE!!

-JOHN SHOULD OF SHOT HIM ONE MORE TIME!!!

-I’m not your son.

-With a comma after dearest. You’ve written “My dearest, Angelica.”

-Lock up your daughters and horse.

-Whatever it is Jefferson started it.

-TURN AROUND AND BEND OVER AND I’LL TELL YA WHERE MY SHOE FITS!!

-LOOK AT MY SON!!!

-George Washington is going home!

-Sweet jesus.

-You are thee worst, burr.

-12345678910!! THE TEN DUAL COMMANDMENTS!!!!

-Everything is legal in New Jersey.

-See you on the schooling ground!

-Take my guns, make me proud son.

-Your mother can’t take another heartbreak.

-Alexander! Who did this!? Did you know!

-Should I run to find my gun or do I let it be?

-Isn’t it nice, isn’t it niiiice, to have Washington on your side.

-HA, good luck defeating you sir.

-Fuuuuuuuuuuu…

-SILENCE!!! A MESSAGE FROM THE KING!! A MESSAGE FROM THE KING!!!

-Meet'um inside, meet'um meet'um inside.

-John Adams doesn’t have a real job anyway.

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legalist217 · 7 years

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Do Voldemort/Snape/Umbridge lmao

I think you’re overestimating my ability to not be creative about the situation, as well as my self-preservation and my interest in women because that’s what makes Umbridge rank worst from an SO perspective. (she’s not even a pretty woman, she’s a super gross woman inside and out, so it does nothing for me on any level, meh, bleh, weh)

This got lengthy so it’s under a cut, you’re welcome, enjoy. And I bothered to put these into exactly no logical canon timeframe.

Well get this out of the way, fake date umbridge. because I will find ways to mortify her. I will drag her to youmacon. I will point out a photograph taken of Nancy Pelosi in a pink suit with all the Senate pages and then assure her that, no, of course you’re just as pretty in your headmistress photo as that Muggle politician is. Why would there even be a comparison. dear. [this is a real photo that we saw being taken at the Capitol when we toured circa HBP’s film coming out; we had to stifle giggles]

And then arrange a scenario where she’s jailed for tax evasion. I’m not marrying the toad; no fifth amendment protections for non-spouse SOs as I recall. I assume MACUSA can ensure she’s put somewhere good and tedious.

(note: this is the only scenario where I envisioned it happening in america)

now, hm. I guess I would slow burn Voldemort because I reckon if you’re his stated enemy, that’s probably not a changeable status. He’s all emotionally stunted in that way. So enemies to lovers doesn’t seem plausible. So, then, I guess I’m some Bellatrix-esque tart, except, well, myself. So rather than wetting myself over THE DAHHK LAWD, I’m just mildly amused at his fascist goals. “That’s a way to do it, I suppose, but hate’s a pretty tedious method to carry on with the world, and let’s remember that you never actually held power long term *ducks AK* so maybe something less... Hitlery? Oh don’t look at me like that, you grew up in muggle-trash London, you know who Hitler is.”

And it goes on and on and on and on and on and it is a slow burn because he’s incapable of love and I think the best we manage for much of the run before the author begins developing carpal tunnel is “I barely tolerate her because she has 0.01% of a point; I tell the others she is too amusing to kill.” At least now I have slytherin creds to brandish to get a foot in the door.

And being endlessly at such a tenuous “I guess that was almost funny, so I won’t murder you?” stage, I don’t have to figure out how to kiss a noseless man or how to deal with a jealous pet snek.

you’re going to regret this

Enemies to lovers is a very tolerable way to deal with Snape, given the options on this playing field. Professors who tell you that your answer is wrong only for the right answer to be “the same thing but because I said it, it’s right” are my least fuckin faves. Snape treads close to that territory.

But again, I have slytherin creds now. I’m also quite impulsive, so I can see myself writing him an annoyed owl after a class detailing specific moments where his behavior decreased the educational advantage to Housemates and how this is him not being a benefit to team and should I go to Dumbledore about this; like give that one gryffindor kid double shit, dude might deserve it for all I know [I am bad at popular gossip when it comes to school IRL], but stop fuckin it up for us and maybe for other students who are genuinely trying, ya pissant. And while Snape is very much a pissant, I think he also cares a lot about the House. And to a degree, his job; he definitely gave a fuck when he was sixteen about teaching potions because he was rewriting the goddamned book.

So, I dunno, maybe I can get through to him. I still get detention for unmitigated sass, but I knew that’d happen. Too bad he doesn’t realize how much I am wont to chat while working. And I have an IRL habit of roping even introverts into talking with me when I’m inclined to. What’s he gonna do, give me more detention? I don’t give a shit. I’ll clean this office and every office. Why the hell not. Castle’s an interesting place. How often do I get an elf’s eye view of the place? And anyway are there any good articles out on lacewing colony collapse disorder, because I hear that might screw over the polyjuice industry? Any good places to write? Lacewings are aptly named, you gotta admit. They need more words devoted to them. And then I force him to read my poetry because who the fuck else here knows about lacewings aside from maybe Hagrid who has automatic distrust of green robes? He tells me it sucks. I grin. (I cry later, but that’s not because he said it, just because no one wants to hear that their poem sucks in such flat words.)

In real life, I’m still in touch with some of my professors after graduation and some of them have outright said they think of me as a friend. I wouldn’t date them, because they are married and I am sensible and they are twice my age and the list goes on. But this is a forced narrative scenario, and given my dating history and its repeated Bad Calls, I can see me writing longer and more detailed letters than just “hey got a new job at Witch Weekly doing book reviews, it’s basically whatever’s on the Prophet’s best-seller list minus anything too difficult for a stay-at-home witch to bother with.” He writes back terse one-liners if I’m lucky. I still write a lot, because it makes me feel better about my sorta boring life.

At some point, I dust off the old lacewing scroll and laugh at how bad it was. But the core idea of hiding oneself in another’s reflection has merit, so I rework it. Dredge up old textbooks to reference other ingredients of common potions, because Moste Potente Potions is still a restricted book so maybe not hinting at the recipe in a poem is a good call. It’s eventually as done as this version’s going to be. I send it to him.

It comes back around Christmas with the word “Better.” swirled in the corner. I tack it to the wall and write more. Sometimes they come back with tiny checkmarks by specific lines. I find myself quietly tallying those, like they’re gold stars and I’m back in primary school. And I have to stifle a gasp when one has a note saying he’d copied a version for himself. I can’t help imagining it pinned up on his fridge, him seeing it every day. That image is childish, but it gets me through bleak times.

It’s a year before a poem I didn’t write comes back to me. It is so laughably bad that I’m in tears of laughter for half the night, but then, reading through it, they end up just tears. Who the fuck is this about, because none of the imagery fits me. It’s all flowers of the valley and gentle prey animals. Drawing from my name would be angels or wolves or birds of prey. Who the fuck, then, is this, and why am I sobbing.

Printed at the bottom is a one-word question: Thoughts?

It’s all I can do not to crumple the stupid parchment and chuck it in the flames. Who is she. Who the hell would put up with such an obnoxious, icy, sneering, greasy, loser? I glance in the mirror. Who indeed.

It’s a pathetic weekend spent balled up under a comforter trying to figure out how to rationally handle whatever the hell this is. But like I said, I’m impulsive. I have just enough Floo powder on hand, as well, and my head pokes out into a dingy flat. I think he nearly blacks out, he’s that startled. He does the many-blinking thing.

I arrive swiftly at the point, which is to say that I sob inelegantly and the tears sizzle amid the flames. But I make my demands known through the mouthfuls of ash, both real and simply felt. Who is this other woman you’d write poetry to.

Black eyes should be flat. His have too much depth at moments like these. There’s too much available to read. I don’t want to know that he knows I’m not crying on his behalf. He runs absent fingers through his hair as he looks at me, a gesture I’d forgotten to miss. Then he explains he wasn’t sure how to title it, which is why there wasn’t one. But it would have been an elegy. His way of burying the past.

I point out that repression isn’t healthy. At least, I think I do. Details are so hazy here in the fire.

He kneels before me and says that is correct, if such be the case. But one must part with the past to allow for new beginnings.

Lips brush there in the flames. And then I’m laughing. He pulls back, and I regret it just a little for how hurt those eyes are. Why do I laugh? “That poem sucked!” I shriek, before dragging myself back through the fires to my own hearth, where I lie laughing hysterically for quite some time.

Years later, Elegy to the Valley is deemed complete. I walk with him as far as the gate, but let him enter the graveyard alone. It is summer, and I trace patterns in the warm metal, trying not to watch his shoulders shaking as he reads it to her. If he needs me, I can be there in a moment. But I would rather watch and mentally write my own poem of this moment instead. He will probably produce something about today as well. We will trade parchments and leave spare, biting comments. But our fingers will interlace at the end of the day. It suffices.

The sky is tinged ruddy gold when he arrives back at the gate. We walk briskly to the end of the street. It’s not that we stand out; he still knows the Muggle ways. Still, this is a leonine place not meant for us. Time we made our excuses and left.

The corner is deserted. I see his eyes wander back over the church and the graves beside. I remind him he can always return. He shakes his head. “This is a parting of the ways.” He takes my hand, and we go twisting into the dark.

so yeah, that’s what shipping me with snape looks like; any questions?

#tara what did you do to me #I don't even have strong feelings about snape #I just sat down and wrote it and now I'm sort of sad for it???#fanfic #long post #alskaichou

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therewas-a-girl · 7 years

Text

so - i got this amazing ask some days ago, and then like an idiot, accidentally deleted it. thankfully for me, outlook saved the copy from the notifications, so here it is

How do you see the Laurel/Oliver relationship? Otp? Notp? Brotp? More than friends, less than lovers? I always thought that their relationship was somehow complicated. Did you think that 5x08 showed that Laurel was really the love of Oliver's life, not Felicity? I love both ladies, but I kinda see Olicity as Otp and Lauriver as, actually I'm not sure what I see them as. They love each other, not romantically, but they're not exactly friends?

anon im so sorry for my carelessness, and for the late reply - free time is scarce for me these days.

i wouldn’t say complicated - though they sure are! - it’s just that that is not the very first word i would pick for them. laurel and oliver’s story is just really long lol. it spans something around two decades, it has changed so much - just as they have, as people naturally do - so of course, it’s going to be complicated. it’s a really layered relationship - that’s the word i like for them. maybe it should be analysed by ‘historical period’ the way i study political systems in different countries lmao.

they’re not otp for me (though they’re not a notp either), because the way canon built their relationship, the dynamics of it and the dynamics between them, has some really ‘nope’ moments. i dont ship characters where one treats the other like shit. (i dont ship ships where the story treats one character like shit for the sake of another, either)

I do think that through the course of 4 years they finally made it to ‘friends’ status, yeah. in season 4 i really thought their friendship was cemented, because in season 2-3 they felt more like... acquaintances with a dangerous history. they had too much conflict between them to really earn a friend status to each other. (not to mention the way oliver failed time and time again to be what a friend should have been to laurel. and vice versa, ofc. tho i dont think in laurel’s case it’s as flagrant as oliver, but at this point im basing my opinion on general impressions cause i haven’t seen s3 in a while.) but, despite that, many times they protected each other, and supported each other throughout the show, even when they didn't seem to like each other much.

in season 1, their relationship felt kind of muddy, to me because there is so much going on there. i mean these two used to be childhood friends at some point. then they got together and i think... i kid of think they weren’t friends anymore. i think oliver didn’t see it that way anyway. laurel was in the girlfriend category. and laurel was really young and, i believe, really idealistic, trying to fit into all these ideas that she believes a girl is, and a girlfriend is, and what love means. it’s everywhere in film and our culture that ‘complicated love’ is great and romantic when in most cases it just bad for your health. but we’re not trained to think of it that way. and that may be easy to see when you’re 26 y.o. but it wasn't when i was 17, and i imagine it wasn't for laurel either. i imagine she thought that hear-breaking and intense and painful is the way love is supposed to fee. all movies say so.

[in parenthesis here, i don’t think oliver cheated on her as much as fandom likes to think he did. there are other ways to make sense of their relationship than to pretend laurel was an idiot or spineless or a ‘stupid girl’.

he either got with other people when they were in their ‘off’ periods, which we know they had, because everyone says they were the kind of couple that was on-again off-again. or he cheated and she did not know about it. i tend to think it’s the first, from the interaction in the flashbacks between sara and laurel - when sara says ‘we both know at leas 10 girls he’s slept with.’ *slept with* , not *cheated on you with*. and i think this is the case also because it fits with my idea of the rest of laurel’s characterization: an idealistic girl who is so enamored with the idea of love, as well as her boyfriend, that she can’t really see the cracks. someone like that wouldn’t forgive cheating so easily, BUT it is entirely within this laurel’s character to believe she can help people change, and take oliver on also as a sort of project.

(and when i see people sneering at this, and at laurel for having this idea, i remember, absolutely drowning in irony, about how many fanfics there are out there where ‘felicity changes oliver’ and ‘is oliver’s light’ or just the general romanticising of this idea that love is ‘a woman changing a man’ and being responsible for his ‘goodness’. like, it’s everywhere, so criticizing a girl for having this idea, any girl, feels a little hypocritical, because we all have to work to drain this kind of shit from out psyche.)]

and then the gambit happens and their relationship in s1 is just really heavy with the history of 5 years of accumulated emotion on both sides. not all good kind of emotion. laurel was all about “life, interrupted” and ‘what could have been’ and the possibilities of sth that never was. oliver was all about guilt and pursuit of laurel, the person, in order to find in her what had been keeping him alive - laurel, the idea, aka home, aka the end of all the violent fuckery, a time when things were simpler - throughout the five years he was away. s1 is such a mess of regrets, and broken hopes, of ‘you were mine once how dare you see/try to be happy with- other people’ kind of jealousy, on both oliver and laurel’s parts, and fear of attachment on laurel’s part - being afraid of getting with tommy after how she was betrayed the last time she let herself love someone. being left by tommy too, falling back in oliver.

there is this poem by warsan shire that always makes me think of s1 laurel and her decision to sleep with oliver right after tommy refuses her again at Merlyn Global, after she tells him she loves him:

when the one i wanted, did not want me.

I was almost rabid for love. Would’ve lunged at anything thrown my way carcass, shadow, memory, promise shell of a man. I thought it was better to be loved by a dead thing than to be left alone. Then I loved a dead thing and was completely alone

at some point in s1, i do think they were tentatively trying to be friends again, but there was a lot of shit that remained unresolved between them and that stuff doesnt just, go away if you ignore it because its awkward af.

i dont even know if i take that s4 episode and the whole ‘love of my life’ seriously, to be honest with you. it’s not that it contradicts my idea of laurel’s development as a character. i can very well imagine that after seeing who oliver had become , how much he had changed, laurel might very well fallen back in love with him. laurel loves and admires strength and goodness. she falls in love with potential, as much as with the actual people. so no, it’s not impossible to me that she might have, during the course of season 4, fallen in love with oliver. again. if it were not for one detail.

oliver didn’t tell her about the pit. laurel believes that for all that happened , he STILL does not see her as an equal. and i cannot believe that someone who has gone through the things laurel has gone through, can love someone who sees her as beneath himself. it’s just not realistic to me. her character would require a deep respect of her person, to allow herself even the smallest possibility of opening her heart again.

5x08... i honestly only have my own idea of what that episode was. i rationalized it like this: oliver has a serious difficulty letting go of guilt. when laurel told him that she’d loved him all the while, that really cemented oliver’s regret after her death. canon hasn’t given us any hints on the fact that oliver might still be in love with her, romantically. but he does love her, she is a friend. she is someone important in his life. and knowing that she is dead , that kind of pain is deepened by the knowledge of how unhappy she must have been. specifically, how unhappy he made her. this combines with the trait oliver has that, whenever he regrets something, whenever he feels he has wronged someone he loves, that guilt pulls really heavily on his judgement. and he has this compulsion to give people what they want, what they might need from him.

and that’s how i saw oliver’s dream world. a sort of tiny little prison he and the others were trapped in, where to get out they had to face their enemies and fears. and my idea was that, after defeating deathstroke and merlyn, the real test of strength was saying goodbye to an alive and happy laurel, for both sara and oliver. because in that moment of their lives, laurel - alive and happy and getting everything she had ever wanted, according to what oliver and sara thought she’d wanted - was their deepest wish, their latest and freshest regret. (this totally fails to account for William in oliver’s life, and how that is also a big regret for him. but that’s details)

so, yeah that’s how i think about it. basically, they’re friends with a fucked up childhood lmao

#laurel lance #laurel lance thoughts #replies #Anonymous #arrow

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katachii · 6 years

Text

gamebreaker.

Dear _________,

I can’t believe I’m actually writing something like this right now and I feel really stupid doing so sitting here at my desk, but I’ve got to get this out of my head and just release this from myself because it grips me so. To be honest, I can write poems about you and empathize with quotes on love and pray day to day on this. But I think until the day comes where I’ve told you this I don’t think it will ever really truly be laid to rest in my heart. So hopefully even though it is likely these words never reveal themselves to you or they never reach your ears, at the very least I can hold onto some lame hope that there is a chance you might, no matter how infinitesimally small a chance that is. And hopefully that hope is enough knowing I’ve already said something and that time will do the rest. Here goes. _________, I have never loved anyone quite in the way as I do you. And I’d be damned if I ever stopped. Because I’ve never felt something so damn real in my life. So real that even as much of a far cry as it is for anything to materialize between us I’d be an idiot distance myself and turn away form it again. It’s more unhealthy to deny the truth of my heart than to live a love through my life knowing it’s a dream that may never take fruit. Because if I can’t live moving forward on accepting this simple truth, how can I accept who I am and who I will become? If I settle for a fabricated lie onto myself in an attempt to move forward, how can I live continuing to accept what’s real and to know the difference? As a matter of fact, I’ve never talked and prayed to God about someone as much as I have you. I’m a madman. And I’d be remiss to say the reality of my love for you didn’t drive me to madness more than once before. Seven years of a love nurtured and denied and rediscovered over and over again for you will do that. Seriously, it was a damn warring cycle on repeat. But I swear I’ve only been made better by it. I know that for a fact. Seven years I asked myself, “Wtf _____, you’ve still not moved on?” The answer is no. and yes. No, because to really love someone in the way I do you is not some desk lamp you turn off and turn on when you leave the house and come back home. It’s more like a furnace that burns on despite the heat and soot that is produced because it keeps the ship moving forward. This love in my life, has not just been some fickle feeling. It’s defining. It’s gamebreaking. It’s legit. And at times, annoyingly so. Four years ago, when you said “no”, I took my love for you as my cross to bear. And recently, I’ve tried to move on multiple times. But in doing so, only confirmed what I already knew. ________ told me once that someone can only move on by finding someone knew. I knew someone else could never be enough. You’re not replaceable. And to be honest I highly doubt I’ll ever love someone else as I do you. But I tried. With ______, _______, ___. With _____, I simply said no. Because how could I build a relationship with her knowing my love lies with you? Same thing with _______. I couldn’t do it. Because I knew in my heart I had a greater love that’s burning. But finally I decided to take that chance with ___. And I knew. My heart wasn’t in it enough. I was giving half of myself. I felt like a scumbag. Because each night I questioned it all. And yeah we just started dating and not even for that long . But you know that the extent that I’d go for someone I love. And I just didn’t do that and if I had I can almost guarantee she would’ve never brought up to take a break. Because I knew if it was you, the fact that you’re always on my mind would be a driving force in itself and I wouldn’t be shameful to do the most grandiose shit no matter how much it might make you cringe. Truth is, my mind wasn't on ___ as much as it was with you. I was a scumbag. I knew this in my heart and although I wanted to make it work, I knew it’d be for my sake to get over you. And I couldn't go forward with it. I’d be making ____ an object of a goal in doing so. So I come back to “Wtf _____, you’ve still not moved on?” The other answer: yes I have. Yes because I love you now very differently from the day I knew I fell in love with you. That’s the difference. Because I’ve not simply just fallen in love with you. I’ve walked in love for you. I’ve journeyed this love. And I’ve continued to love. So much that every day I’ve chosen to love you. Because there have been days, like in this past summer, where I knew there would be no relationship to gain, but I was compelled to somehow make your day even just a tad bit greater. By praying for you while you were prepping for NCLEX, by taking you out for some comfort food to make test day just a bit more bearable, and praying you’d receive your pass results early just so you could catch a break and have the peace of heart to heal by giving as much of yourself while you were in Peru. By praying that by being in Peru you’d have the quality time and charity to heal. By choosing to work with you at the diabetes camp despite knowing how vulnerable it’d make me. And by celebrating and having a great time with you celebrating your nurse licensure in NYC. But once again I’d be remiss to say my heart doesn’t want more. And this altruistic love wasn’t always so. At first, yes I was a selfish bastard. I wanted you for myself. I was immature and governed by my emotions back in high school. and even more so the night of your prom. All I could think in that moment was “You’re gonna have to take that chance.” I was so wrong. As beautiful as you were that night, that didn't make it right. And what followed that November hurt like no other. Brookdale Park when you said “you owe me nothing”, you saw right through me and from then on I saw how low you saw me. Even though I was the one letting you down. “Never again” I told myself. I avoided you for that year. Barely contacted you, spoke to you, thank God “Find my friends” and snapchat locations had not been created yet because everyone might have seen my fraud ass at home saying I was out while everyone else was movie-nighting at your house. It wasn't really until two years later in 2015 that I could bring myself to even share the same airspace as you. Because for those two years I forced myself to hate you in a desperate attempt to dissolve how I felt. But 2015 quickly reminded me just how much I really love the person you are. The warmth you carry with you. The energy you take on to make the most of each moment. How you try and see the good in everyone. I found myself jealous even. But by then that didn’t even matter. I was just comforted by how organic your love for life and those around you was, despite everything you were going through with your Dad that same year. Since then I chose to love you. Not because it’d be a choice to, despite the difficulty, but because I was simply compelled to. To love you to heaven if you will. Instead of turning away and leaving it behind me. I’ve moved on with it. Matured by it. And have been made better from it. I know it still probably doesn’t make sense. But this is why it’s so hard to tell you. I suppose I should answer the question, “Why you?” I once wrote a poem about a “girl that changed my life” long ago and how in it I describe you as someone I knew would mean something great to me. Funny how that still holds true to this day. The reason I love you is something that for seven years I’ve had to validate, re-validate, and then discover why and continue to discover why. For the longest time, the cliché, “you just know” was the only thing that fit. And I feel it takes a lifetime to really complete such reasoning. But by now I’ve grasped some of the deeper reasons. When I first really met you at __________ at age 15, I had this feeling you were gonna be important to me. I didn’t know why as I didn’t even know your last name at the time. And these past two years, I’ve prayed and reflected why God would nurture such a strong love for someone in me when that someone could never love me the way I love her? What a question. It’s because He wanted to teach me how to love. And what love is. And what it takes. And most importantly my true capacity to love. The last of these is what’s made you the gamechanger. I can’t tell you how much I wanted to yell at that diner restaurant in Montclair when you said to me ____ made you feel a way you never knew you could. If only you knew how much that rattled me. But it’s true. Similarly, you’ve set a bar in my life. A benchmark if you will. You criticized me at Brookdale Park that day for putting you on some pedestal. I don’t think you realized then how much of a confirmation of a confession of love that was. I didn’t even realize it myself at the time and blatantly denied it. But you’re damn right I put those I love on a pedestal. But only for you it was that pedestal. The one reserved in my heart. But you were right, I did treat you special and I realize now that if I could love you that hard, to this extent, even after all these years later, I have the capability to love others just as much. You revealed that to me. And from then on, in loving others I see how much I love you and how much more love I have to give or have in me to give. Such a person like you will stay with me.

Lastly, _________, I want you to know, that yes, I owe you nothing and conversely you will never owe me anything. I only want you, as real and honest, and sincere as you are. Your genuine self. Even if your honest heart holds no such feeling like mine. Truly, I really just want to tell you. But I kind of feel like you already see it in the way I catch myself slipping when I look at you. I look at you the same as I have seven years ago, only now with a greater understanding. This is my cross. And in no fault to you. You can’t help being the beautiful, amazing, motivating, inspiring, driven and compassionate person you are. This is entirely on me. Although it hasn’t always been, my love is and will continue to strive to be altruistic. I want to love you to heaven. In some way or another.

#2017

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junker-town · 7 years

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‘Hard Knocks’ Recap: A business trip to beautiful Jacksonville

The Bucs travel to Jacksonville; Jameis Winston throws a hilarious interception; Chris Baker humps a tree; everyone eats wings.

On this week’s episode of Hard Knocks, the Bucs traveled to Jacksonville for a couple days of practice against the Jaguars before the two teams played in the preseason. These are the main takeaways.

Stop Trying to Make Doug Martin Happen

The Bucs are filled with fascinating characters. Gerald McCoy is as intelligent and entertaining as he is intelligent. Jameis Winston — caveat here — is a fascinating combination of leadership and talent capable of head-smacking stupidity. Mike Evans and DeSean Jackson have a heartwarming bromance. Brent Grimes and his wife Miko — I swear this is a compliment — should be studied by psychologists. Fringe cornerback Robert McClain is a talented artist with a beautiful family. And on, and on, and on.

For the first two episodes, I kept wondering, “Where the heck is Doug Martin?” He showed some promise as a physical entertainer when he briefly appeared last week to usher some rookies offstage, but he was otherwise absent until this episode.

And now I know why: Doug Martin is the dullest person on the team. His voice is a natural monotone. He referred to his time in rehab as a “journey” while saying nothing about addiction or his treatment (he tested positive for Adderall, but the show gave no specifics beyond “violating the league’s drug policy”). Entering his sixth year, he says he needs to “start” acting like a veteran, even as the head coach singles out rookie Riley Bullough for his leadership. In a noble but failed effort to give him some personality, HBO showed him riding an electric skateboard (he didn’t want to rollerblade or ride a bike in college).

Martin isn’t bad or unlikable, he’s just boring. Now I know why he didn’t want to be called Muscle Hamster: he doesn’t deserve a nickname that interesting.

The Chucky and Rex Show

Three episodes of Hard Knocks, two appearances by Jon Gruden. There are perfectly good reasons for this that are not necessarily related to the Bucs’ present coach being Madame Tussaud’s version of Pete Carroll, but the optics aren’t great. Still, I welcome Chucky and his Mark Davis haircut, especially since the ESPN crew working the Bucs’ preseason game have brought along rookie broadcaster Rex Ryan, who’s just here to trash his former quarterbacks and suck on some toes. AND HE’S ALL OUTTA TOES.

REX (to Jameis Winston): You know, I’m jealous. I never had a quarterback like you, you know what I mean? That’s why I’m sitting here, and I’m pissed off about it.

GRUDEN: You think YOU’RE pissed off about it? [everyone laughs] I gotta LIVE in Tampa!

REX: Look at the guys you had. Shit, my guys were better than your guys.

GRUDEN: I got my four ki— three kids wearing Jameis Winston jerseys.

Here are the things I love about this exchange:

Rex Ryan blames his firings on having shitty quarterbacks. And buddy, I’ve got your back when it comes to Mark Sanchez and Geno Smith and Greg McElroy (not to mention backup Tim Tebow). But Tyrod Taylor is pretty good, and Buffalo’s rushing attack was excellent the two years Ryan was there. That Bills defense, though? Not exactly the result of a supposed defensive mastermind.

Rex openly states — unprompted, on video, in front of his co-workers — that he’s pissed about having his job.

For a moment, I thought Gruden’s “You think YOU’RE pissed off about it?” was an excellent burn on Rex — and from the reaction, so did everyone in the room. Alas, he was talking about his proximity to the Bucs, and how often he sees Winston practice and play.

Rex states that Gruden’s dogshit quarterbacks were worse than HIS dogshit quarterbacks — which isn’t true, but it IS funny that Ryan doesn’t pick up on the subtext: if Gruden won a Super Bowl with worse quarterbacks, what does it say about HIS ability as a coach?

Jon Gruden is unsure how many kids he has?

SWAG CHECK

Oh hell yeah: we’ve got a packing and traveling montage! Time to get some slo-mo walks to the buses! We’ve got some GQ mofos going from Tampa to Jacksonville:

Watch out Russell Westbrook! The intentionally gaudy shirt isn’t my cup of tea, but it’s of the moment and fitted to his big frame. With the chain and stylish sunglasses, he looks good, and he knows it.

Gerald McCoy continues his flawless scene streak in Hard Knocks. August heat in Florida won’t keep him from looking good in tight black pants, and he’s made the most “stylish adult” decision of all: the only way to look truly good with luggage is to spend a lot of money on it and carry it in your hands.

Oh my goodness. Did my channel somehow change to a network airing a dramedy about a fabulously charming lawyer? Ladies and gentlemen, SPORT is in session!

And wait, are those ...

... CHERUB CHAINS?!?! Help, my TV is melting from this heat. Honey, cash my 401(k), I have to pay this man whatever it takes to be my personal stylist.

Okay, who’s next?

... oh.

Becky, your dad’s here!

Beautiful, Scenic Jacksonville

The First Law of Hard Knocks is: If something can look epic, it will look epic. Tacky team headquarters will be captured with breathtaking drone footage panoramas. If a garbage barge passes by, it will be shot in low-angle slow-motion during the golden hour. If a team travels to Jacksonville, Florida — our nation’s sprawling ode to shipping containers and jungle rot — then it will look like a goddamn postcard.

To be clear: that is a screenshot I slapped some text on. I know, it’s a little slapdash. But I’m not going to shell out for Avalon font just so I can make the Internet a better Jacksonville postcard.

A Moment for Chris Baker

Defensive tackle Chris Baker (pictured humping a tree) has been a delightful trash talker in every episode this season, getting more air time each week — and with good reason. Here he is talking with some Jaguars fans:

You crazy, boy. We out here destroyin’ y’all. Y’all got to be the angriest fans in the world. Cuz y’all ... is going to get at least three wins.

He also split a sideline hot dog with Gerald McCoy during the second half of the preseason game at Jacksonville.

McCOY: Hey Bake! (waves hot dog) You so fat. You gotta be the fattest dude I know.

BAKER: Where’d you get it from, bro?

McCOY: Don’t worry about it. You want half?

He pulled a Sanchez! Don’t disrespect the game!

Lunch is on Gerald

While in Jacksonville, Coach Koetter informs the team that McCoy has arranged for three food trucks to provide ribs, wings, and snow cones for lunch, all paid for by the star defensive tackle (McCoy to Baker: “Except you, Bake.”)

This is an awesome gesture. I love hot wings and ribs.

BUT. Giving 90 massive pro athletes — many of them over 300 pounds — as many hot wings as they can eat ... for lunch ... in Jacksonville ... in August ... seems like an act of war on the hotel’s plumbing. My heart goes out to those poor toilets.

GOAT RESCUE

THE SCENE: Quarterbacks Jameis Winston, Ryan Fitzpatrick, and Ryan Griffin ask about Sefo Liufau’s girlfriend. A condensed version of their discussion follows.

LIUFAU: Her family has four goats.

WINSTON: Oh, so she rich?

GRIFFIN: You’re so country.

WINSTON: If you got goats, you got MONEY. I’m from Alabama. If you got some cattle, you rich.

LIUFAU: I’m pretty sure they got the goats from goat rescue, they’re only like $100.

Jameis Winston LOVED the idea of a goat rescue operation that worked like a dog shelter.

Elsewhere in the realm of quarterbacks, Fitzpatrick had some excellent, subtle digs at Winston. The best was following a pregame huddle with the offense, in which the players repeated each line of Winston’s poem about beating the Jaguars. After the interminable scene, Fitz, sitting next to Winston at their lockers, leaned over and deadpanned, “You rhyme was a little long.” But I also enjoyed this:

FITZ: Would you say Muhammad Ali is one of your biggest inspirations?

WINSTON: Yes.

FITZ: When you talk, when you break down, I can, like, I can just feel that you’ve seen a lot of his stuff.

This conversation was immediately followed by a clip of Winston speaking to the team, and Fitz is clearly right: it’s like a cross between Ali and Ray Lewis.

“First you get the money, then you get the goats!”

Disappointed Dirk

He threw this.

Okay, first: if you have not seen Winston GLORIOUS interception that was overturned because he was ruled down, you must go watch it now.

The exchange that happened next was beautiful, because Dirk Koetter has never been more relatable. For one minute, Koetter is the football version of “extremely pissed off dad who is trying to be loving and constructive with his son, but is also JUST SO PISSED AT HIM.”

DIRK: Jameis. You’re fuckin’ playing a great game. You’re playing a great game. And then your greed takes over. If this is real football, that’s so fuckin’ stupid. That’s guaranteed points! You’re so much better than that! You’re so much better. You’re playing a great game. You just threw a great, perfect spot to O.J., GREAT go route, and then you fuckin’ do that!

JAMEIS: I got you. I got you.

DIRK: You can’t do that! Ever! Ever! Ever!

I hope Winston NEVER cuts down on his turnovers. Just an entire career of every TV announcer raving about how talented he is while he throws 18 picks a year. “Such POISE while throwing that backbreaking pick, Troy.”

The Cruel Business

This episode’s rookie undrafted free agent to fall in love with was Maurice Fleming. We get the full, nasty arc of his tragedy over the course of one hour: we meet him hanging out in a pool with other rookies. He shines in practice. He wakes up before sunrise to train on his own.

The coaches praise him. In the preseason game, he injures his knee as the Jaguars make a desperate final drive. He can’t cut. He can barely run. But he stays on the field, because he has to stay on the field to make the team. He makes the game-saving pass break-up.

But this story doesn’t have a happy ending, because it’s the NFL. Fleming gets X-rays and an MRI on his knee, then waits for a small eternity to get the results. He’ll be out four weeks, so he’s out of a job. The Bucs waive him.

What a crap-ass league.

MONTAGE RANKINGS

Jameis Winston workout montage

Doug Martin game footage montage

Team walk-through montage. An odd choice, I know, but I liked that it was (a) scored by the director of team security playing a hotel piano, and (b) showed this extremely weird-looking thing that every single NFL team does before a game.

Food preparation montage. I’m very hungry right now.

Sucking at practice montage

Offense clicking montage

Gassers montage. Don’t make gassers a montage unless you deliver on a puke shot.

Players’ day off montage. This didn’t have enough music or quick-cuts to be a true montage, I just wanted to point out that Ali Marpet spent his off day reading a book, eating sushi, and playing his ukulele by himself on Picnic Island.

haha, look at this lonely nerd!

But for real, he seems nice.

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