rant time!
i am a full supporter of people cherry picking the bits of canon they like and discarding the rest when creating their fanworks.
like. the bad batch season 2. ugh. i enjoyed what little they did with cody, so i'll take it. the serenno lore though? man. maaaaan. dear canon star wars writers, could you be consistent about dooku just for once? i'm not even asking much here.
you're telling me mr. high society, mr. full-time statesman, mr. also-full-time-sith-apprentice over here had the will or the spoons to suppress his own people's culture so hard that within a few decades, the last remnants of it were stored on a singular device? huh??
like this could be a fascinating bit of political characterization if it wasn't a very transparent attempt at making things more black and white for the bad batch. wow dooku bad, we never knew. if the show had any balls they would've gone more into the politics part for like two minutes of screentime and maybe given us a hint on why on earth dooku would do that. was it just a certain part of the culture he suppressed? like a minority group? an uppity religion? anything? because i'd believe that. but my god make it make sense 💀
and btw he'd still suck even if his people remembered him fondly and prospered under his rule! that would bring some much-needed nuance into the whole republic vs separatists conflict.
anyway. canon is very good at being weird and contradictory so i'll just roll with the stuff that makes sense to me and ignore the rest <3
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Here's why Hallucination Bucky haunting Buck is amazing (there are many reasons but here's a big one): Bucky doesn't even have to be dead.
Sure, Bucky being dead works perfectly in this kind of AU. The inability to save Bucky leaves Buck bereft and alone in the world, so he holds on to the memory of Bucky so tightly he starts to see him again.
But!
The ambiguity of is Bucky dead or not is better. The reader doesn't know for sure, and Buck doesn't know. Hell the fic writer doesn't even need to know for sure. Leave that ending open y'all!
Buck having to go through his day swearing that Bucky is alive. He's fine. Bucky has to be fine. Him being fine is the only reason Buck can power through his day. He won't accept anything else until someone brings him Bucky's body.
And that can do a lot to a man's psyche.
Imagine it. Buck standing around Thorpe Abbotts after reassuring Harry and Rosie that Bucky is fine, he's simply back with the men taking care of them. Then he hears it. Bucky's laugh. He whirls around desperate and near joyous because of course Bucky made it out, of course he's laughing and about to yell at Buck to get his attention. Except what he finds isn't the John "Bucky" Egan that he left in Germany.
Instead, he turns around and sees the John he sent to London. Standing straight backed with cheeks that haven't gone through a diet of turnips and 'rabbit' soup, still wearing that awful sheepskin that Buck knows he traded away (Jack had given it back to him the moment he saw Buck) is His Bucky.
Arm raised to wave at Buck, Bucky grins. His smile is as bright as the sun, another spark of life Buck hasn't seen in months. Maybe years.
Bucky looks so young. Which he can't be because Bucky is older than him, but staring at this Bucky that no one else seems to realize is there that's what crosses Buck's mind. Bucky looks young. He looks happy and untouched by the hell they just went through together.
"Hey Buck!" Bucky's by his side without walking to him. "How was your flight? Ya miss me?"
And he falls into step once more with Buck chattering into his ear. Buck knows he isn't real, knows that Bucky isn't here, but he can't help but accept what little he has left of the other when he has no idea when or if he'll ever see Bucky again.
Because without a body, he has to live as if Bucky is still alive.
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When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.
Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.
TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.
If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.
If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.
If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.
If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.
If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.
If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.
If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.
If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.
If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.
If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.
If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.
If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.
If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.
I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.
If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.
If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.
If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.
These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.
And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.
If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.
Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.
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