#yeah obvi this is based on my own personal perceptions of each house

[phoebehalliwell]

What Hogwarts houses do you think the charmed ones are in?

hmm okay

so for starters i think prue is a slytherin, less because of the whole workaholic factor / bitchy character thing, but more because of how fierce she is to protect her family. they are her chosen circle and she will protect them to her dying breath. which i know gryffindor is sort of more the “loyalty” house, but imo it’s much more of a slytherin thing to have a really small close circle that is meticulously selected who you will be endlessly loyal to. on top of that, her undeniable ambition, especially at the expense of her own happiness. gryffindor is about chasing you passions, ravenclaw is following your mind, hufflepuff is doing your due diligence, but only slytherin is going into something you really don’t even want to do but still putting in endless effort into it because you have to be the best. we see a great example of this with prue and her jobs at the museum and the auction house. prue left behind her true passion of photography so her family could keep the manor, putting her love for her circle in front of her own personal desires, but that didn’t mean she trudged through her nine to five. she dedicated herself to her field and became one of the best, because that’s the type of person she is. we didn’t see her chase after her true dream until she was confident that the house was secure and her loved ones were safe, and then proceeded to pursue photography with just as much zeal as she did her previous work. on the darker side of the slytherin coin, we see her but her circle above the wellbeing of common folk in all hell breaks loose. when she needs to get piper to the hospital before she dies, she’s at her absolute most basic instinct. she launches people through the air not really caring where they land because she cannot let piper die and she’s willing to do whatever it takes make sure that doesn’t happen. and then for my third and final point, she’s the best at like a character study. she can read people and then work them to her advantage. she can easily get under people’s skin, or, on the flipside, pretend to be the person she knows they want to see, another very slytherin trait imo

then i would probably go and say piper is a gryffindor. like surface level i could easily go hufflepuff bc you know, she’s obviously a hard worker and all that but i just have to say gryffindor. because even though she was always sort of teased as the chicken of the family, she does have undeniable amounts of bravery, even before prue’s death. her speech to the elders in once upon a time?

i bet you guys think this is real funny, don't you haven't you taken enough from me? you have to send trolls to kick me while i'm down! i had a nice normal life once and you took that from me. you took my boyfriend, you took my life, the least you could do is leave me my freakin car keys. i am a good person, i am a good witch and damn it i would've made a great wife. and how dare you take that from me? i deserve... no, you know what? i demand that you send him back to me. you hear me? right now. i am going to stand in this very spot until you send leo back to me.

quintessential gryffindor. the gall, the rooting your feet where you stand, cursing out of a higher power, i mean hello? and she’s always been a bit headstrong. hufflepuff is more putting your head down and doing the work because you know it’s right, gryffindor is a little different. piper’s work ethic comes from her heart, if she puts effort into something, it’s because she holds a passion for it. if she doesn’t, well... right and wrong go a little out the window. in brain drain, she was willing to barter with the source just so she could have a normal life. her heart wasn’t in it, ergo she had no desire to put the work in. a lot more gryffindor than hufflepuff to me.

and then possibly my most controversial take i’m saying phoebe is a ravenclaw because okay like think about it a lot of what she does is driven by sort of this curiosity this passion for the unknown and desire to learn more. she never knew her dad, so after high school she flew halfway across the country just to try to find him. she was the first one to discover the book, and the first one to dive headfirst into witchcraft. if i’m gonna cite some sources here’s a piece of dialogue from the painted world:

phoebe: you weren’t at that job interview surrounded by all those college graduates. you don't know how good it feels to be really smart. smart people are respected, taken seriously. and really smart women, forget about it. then again, you probably do know what i'm talking about. you have a four-year degree.

piper: so what? phoebe, i will never have the kind of smarts you have, no matter what i do.

so from this we can gather that phoebe doesn’t like being viewed as unintelligent. in fact, she really wants to be considered smart, she wants to be smart. to which piper retorts that she is smart, but more street smarts. phoebe knows things that can’t be found in a textbook, she can operate in society at a much higher capacity than her sisters; it seems like everyone loves phoebe. also, she can go toe to toe with prue in an argument, and that takes a considerable amount of brains. and then we go on to see phoebe enroll in college and graduate with a ba in psychology, and then goes on to return to college to get a phd in psychology. and, of course, on top of that, she’s the best spell writer of the bunch, writing 40+ original spells in the show, including the spell to vanquish the source, the most powerful spell the charmed ones have. very ravenclaw, if you ask me. 

uhh but tragically i’m not gonna round this out by using all four house paige is a slytherin. now, you could argue paige for about every house but i’m arguing slytherin. bc okay. so much of paige’s life was about being the best person she could be for herself, you know? like her adolescence was very “stereotypical slytherin” with excess drug use, being goth and a dramatic fuck up to your parents, stuff you see on pinterest moodboards yknow. and then she becomes a social worker, which people would usually go to as like hufflepuff support. but like,, paige was Not like a hard worker at that job. she held a passion for it yes, and she did get things done, but she was notoriously late and behind schedule, and had a bad habit of vanishing for extra long lunch breaks (even before she was a witch, if i’m not mistaken). furthermore, her methods of getting things done are less doing the works in a solid and proper method, and more about cutting corners and using her own cunning to get it done in the most efficient way possible (i mean, she was the one to use personal gain undeniably the most). and this isn’t an insult! when she first got the book of shadows, she immediately took it to work and started using it in her cases. yes, this was “personal gain”, but she was doing it to help others. with the flipside being like she didn’t need magic & should probably have done her task properly so the use of it wasn’t necessary but like i feel like that only makes it more slytherin. and then moving on, her superwitch phase was obviously her putting herself in competition with prue, and her obsessive competitive need to be the best. slytherin. and then the next season she tried to dodge magic in an attempt to reclaim her life and find some greater meaning to herself. slytherin. her whole dynamic with kyle and being chill with him knocking out sheridan was very slytherin. in season 8, her whole early competition growing into flirty with henry is very slytherin. her dynamic with her father is very slytherin (calling back to what i was talking about prue, she has closely selected her inner circle and it takes a lot of work to get it. we also see this in early season four onward with her having trouble to come to terms with new sister living and accepting piper and phoebe into her circle.) what i’m getting at is paige is a very much a slytherin when you stop to think about it.