#yeah the dude was a real prince

[hussyknee]

Moment of silence for all the incredibly hot people who have no idea they're hot and won't believe it no matter how many people tell them and never will until they look at photos of themselves 20 years later and go "holy fuck I looked like THAT??"

Another moment of silence for their best friends tasked with beating back every single dickhead pestering them after every single mixer to set them up with Hot Friend, including people who were hitting on them until they saw Hot Friend.

[transsweet]

sorry for inactivity it'll probably only get worse bc of finals but heres a frye sweet in honor of team sweet frye

[orcelito]

listen as fun as writing is, im generally in complete control of the situation. i can set up a high-stakes scenario, but it's not tense for ME bc i know where things r gonna end up

which is why shit like dnd is so fun. it's 100% improv. me improv lying by omission thru a zone of truth to these people who can and have Already almost killed me, who would sic their legion of knights on me if they got even a Sniff of the fact that i took part in regicide. it wouldve been very very bad. it was TENSE. and it was so fun lfkjslkdfj

lying by omission and pointing at a dude i hate as the one at fault for it all. perfect scapegoat.

[cinemaocd]

we've all had nights that ended like this...

[starrystevie]

it was all supposed to be a dumb joke.

the boys had been sitting around after rehearsal one night passing a bowl and more than a few beers, laughing about how unsuccessful the newest music based social media app would be. mere seconds of songs looping over and over with other songs mixed in would never work, especially for corroded coffin where the story, the buildup of their songs was part of the reason to listen.

it all started with jeff, grinning slowly ear to ear. "what if were to get in there and take some celebrity's name for a user name? like paris hilton or something."

then it moved to gareth, who paused with a scrunched up face. "dude, paris hilton? what the fuck kind of reference is that..."

then it was over to greg, choking on a smoke-laced laugh. "yeah, it'd be funnier if it was eddie's pop prince loverboy instead."

that got everyone's attention. eddie had protested to ears that didn't want to hear it as they cackled in their studio that they rented by the hour, bent over in their rolling chairs, leaning against the side of the mixing board for support.

"loverboy?! you know i can't stand steve harrington and his bullshit lyrics, what the fuck kind of suggestion is that..."

but come the next day, when the weed had left his system and his veins were alcohol-free, eddie stared at the mixr app home screen and the blinking red circle over his inbox with disdain after successfully acquiring a user name he never would have picked for himself.

'steveharrington', eddie's account says, along with an icon of himself and his tongue out.

if it hadn't been for being less than sober when the app dropped. if it hadn't been for his best friends egging him on with taunts and jeers and kissy noises and less than sincere dreamy calls of 'oh steve' in the background. if it hadn't been for the way that eddie secretly did think about a certain head of floppy hair and soft brown eyes and shoulders littered with constellations.

if it hadn't been for all of that he wouldn't have had the chance to have his celebrity crush, the steve harrington, in his inbox at 8am on a random tuesday morning.

"good morning!" the message says simply enough. eddie stares at the words, trying to process what they mean, looking at the verified username of 'steveharrington1' next to an icon of his most recent album along with it. his inbox is flooded with people all asking him random things, thinking he's the real steve harrington, but this one verified account has him shaking.

for all that eddie is, all big hair and black jeans and skull rings and leather, he's still a man. a man who can look at a pop star, annoying as their music may be, and see charm. he can see attractiveness. he can see that smile that steve harrington has perfected behind his eyelids and he can see them strolling off into the sunset together hand in hand and he can see steve all flushed and breathing heavily underneath him on a mountain of plush pillows and he can see-

the message pings again with a new addition. "i know this seems weird and my team advised against it but i'd really like your user name of... well, my name."

eddie blinks slowly. he pictures steve maybe laying in bed, maybe sitting at the breakfast table with a cup of coffee, with his phone in his hand as he types out a message to him. to think that steve has any idea about him existing on any sort of level is doing his head in. his heartbeat races a little faster as he types back with shaky hands and a pit in his stomach.

"is this real?" is all he can type out, leaning against the kitchen counter as he waits for his coffee to brew.

three dots pull up on the app screen before disappearing and eddie pulls his lip in between his teeth to focus his energy elsewhere. he tears his eyes away from his phone and looks out the window to watch the people out for their morning walks. he's just about to the point where he thinks about maybe taking up walking if nothing else to get all the pent up energy out of him when the app dings again. as he looks back, his heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach.

it's a photo of steve that can't have been released before. he's sitting outside in bright sunshine with sunglasses on, tousled hair and grin on his face. he's holding his hand up in a thumbs up and eddie can see the remnants of cream cheese on the side of his index finger.

he sucks in a stuttering breath through his teeth, trying to force his lungs to breath again. the dots pop up on screen once more and the message that comes through is instantaneous.

"real enough for you?" it reads. and then an additional message is tacked on. "need me to hold up a newspaper with the date on it?"

there's a winky face that follows and it feels fake even though it's very real. this whole morning feels wrong, unreal. he's just eddie munson, some singer in some halfway popular band in some kind of shitty neighborhood in los angeles that just happens to have not just some pop star in his dms. this doesn't happen to him.

"why did your team tell you not to message me? does my reputation precede me?"

eddie pulls his hand up to his mouth to bite at the side of his fingernail, watching the screen with rapt attention and waiting for the typing dots to disappear.

"according to this account your name is steve harrington and yes, i'd say his reputation does precede him."

eddie barks out a laugh, not exactly expecting that.

he didn't know what he was expecting out of any of this. he thought that it might help get the corroded coffin name out more if he got tangled up somehow with the steve harrington name. spark a little bit of drama to boost their visibility. but now here he is, talking to the man himself, cracking jokes and trying not to hyperventilate.

"how were you able to get this name so fast anyway? my team was on it right when the app dropped last night."

"i had the power of bandmates and weed on my side," he types back, side of his mouth quirking up into a smile.

"oh so you're a musician? maybe i should be looking into your reputation then, mystery person."

eddie pauses and thinks about every option. he is semi-known in the metal scene, his outlandish stunts on stage and political speeches at shows that garner them becoming an almost brand for him. if he tells steve who he is, would he know? care? run away from the scary guy who may or may not use stage blood in every music video?

but the thing is, he's not a scary guy and he never has been. he might be a little intimidating and he guesses that's the armor he puts on everyday after being bullied in school but it's not an accurate showing of who he is. eddie is sweet, funny, kind of smart in that has random fun facts about dungeons and dragons kind of way.

and he wants the steve harrington to know that guy.

eddie flips over at his middle so his head is nearly touching the floor and ruffles his hair, giving it volume and calming down the frizz that comes from sleep. he shakes it out of his face once he's upright and grabs his garfield coffee mug if only to have something to do with his hands. grabbing his phone off the counter, he opens the camera option in their message thread and snaps a quick picture of himself grinning, mug next to his face with a matching cat-like smirk. he nervously presses send before he can even think about all the flaws with it.

"eddie munson at your service," is what he types out with a saluting emoji and a muttered prayer to whoever would listen to him that things don't end horribly.

it's not like he's expecting to sweep steve off his feet. he knows that steve has picture perfect partners, he sees enough internet news to know that gruff and dark isn't the kind of guy he normally goes for. but he looks back at the photo he sent and hopes that steve sees the kindness in his eyes, the scruff on his jawline that makes it look just the smallest bit chiseled, the whimsy and life that he embodies that comes from a tacky coffee cup.

there isn't an automatic answer and it makes whatever hope eddie has floating around his system falter. ''at this point you've probably searched me and i can reassure you, i'm not actually a vampire like google seems to think i am."

"holy shit."

it's short, two words followed by typing dots that disappear, reappear, disappear once more before reappearing for the last time.

"would you believe me if i told you that i am huge fan??"

choking on coffee hurts, eddie finds out. he coughs as the hot liquid goes down the wrong pipe and concentrates on the messages once he gets his bearings back. steve, the steve harrington, a fan of his? it's a prank, it has to be, there is no way that steve harrington-

"one of my exes took me to your show at the bowl and it quite possibly changed my life. you gave that speech about the pipeline before the encore and i went home and bought every single one of your albums that same night."

he's dead. the papers will read 'eddie munson found dead in his home in a ratty metallica shirt holding onto a garfield coffee mug and cellphone open to a chat where steve harrington tells him he's a fan of his work'. it's the only way that this is possibly happening. he's died and gone to whatever fucked up version of heaven has him still living in his shitty la apartment.

"are you fucking kidding me?" is what he types back, slamming his coffee mug onto the counter to have access to both hands. "you've heard my stuff?"

and then it happens, like out of a shitty teenage rom-com, his phone is lighting up with an in-app call from steve harrington. the steve harrington. careful not to drop his phone in his hurried movements, he presses accept faster than he thinks his fingers have every worked.

"hello?" he questions into the phone and there's no hello back, just steve apparently freaking out as much as he is.

"i hope this is okay," he says and god, does his voice sound wonderful over the phone like this. "but it's faster and i have too many things to say that typing it all out would be stupid."

eddie grins and his feet tap against the ground like an excited kid. "it's fine, i uhm... i get it. god, this is weird."

steve hums in agreement before laughing. and oh, that laugh. it has eddie floating up to cloud nine, heart thumping painfully in his chest, butterflies beating their wings wildly in his stomach.

"yeah, it's definitely not how i expected this morning to go. talking to eddie munson, wow."

"sure," eddie snorts, "you talk to celebrities all the time, i'm sure this is small fish for you."

he hears steve laugh again, soft and gentle, like it's meant just for eddie. "i might talk to celebrities all the times but not ones that i have posters on my wall of like a pre-teen. i'm properly geeking out right now."

eddie short circuits. that's the only way to explain the way his body shuts down as he slumps into an armchair in the living room.

"you, steve harrington, have posters of me on your bedroom wall?" eddie's mouth feels dry as he talks and regrets making coffee at all because he's wide awake now and feels jittery.

"well okay, to be fair, it's of the whole band and it's in my studio but you are shirtless so i contemplated putting it in my bedroom." something shifts on the other end of the line and it sounds like steve sitting down. there's birds chirping in the background and eddie closes his eyes to picture himself sitting with steve on a patio instead of in his dingy apartment.

"you're gonna give me big head, pretty boy." the pet name slips out before he can stop it and the pitch of his voice lowering is out of his control. eddie can't be held responsible for his actions at 8am especially when he's flirting over the phone with his celebrity crush.

"pretty boy, hmm?" steve murmurs back. "so does that mean you have posters of me too?"

the timbre of his voice shoots from eddie's ears all the way down to his toes, lighting his veins on fire as it travels down his body. the hopeful part of his brain supplies an image of steve smirking, relaxing in a pool chair outside of what must be a mansion, phone in one hand and cup of coffee in the other. it could be domestic, if eddie thinks about it hard enough. if he wants it enough.

and god, does he want that. domestic bliss with steve harrington.

"well i wouldn't exactly call picturing you in my dreams every night posters, but it's close enough i guess."

it's gutsy, it's brash, it's too forward for a tuesday morning but steve started it. he hears a shaky exhale on the other end of the line and lets out a chuckle. it feels like they're playing chess and there's no clear cut winner quite yet but if the match ends in a tie, eddie can't exactly say he'd be upset about it.

"i tell you what," steve says in an almost airy voice. "in exchange for giving me my user name, i'll give you my number and you can use it to see me in something other than your dreams tonight."

"...are you bribing me, harrington?"

"is it working?"

eddie takes in a deep breath and thinks about what possible plans he could have with the username 'steveharrington' that would amount to something better than taking the man himself out on a date with his phone number saved as a contact in his phone. he'd put a heart next to it and everything.

"of course it is."

the call drops away and it's quick enough for eddie to think everything that happened in the last 30 minutes could have been a fever dream but then there's three dots on the message thread and his hopeful heart starts to kick back into gear.

"213-555-5469. let me know when you've given up that username and i'll let you know when to pick me up. it's a win-win all around. turns out we each get to go a date with our celebrity crushes, how lucky is that?"

it's signed with a kissing face emoji and eddie's glad that he's sitting down when the last picture steve sends comes through. he's grinning in a way eddie's never seen before, blush high on his cheeks, sweaty shoulders and collarbones and pecs glinting in the early morning sun, and eddie thinks it's probably too early to be in love with someone but he's well on his way.

he texts the number he's sent without hesitation and without shaking hands this time. he signs the message with a black heart like it's a signature of it's own.

"lucky indeed."

[xxbimbobunnyxx]

@nemesyaaa wanted to know how Rafe would react if weird!girl asked him to have a threesome with another guy and it would go a little something like this… 18+MNDI!!

“The fuck did you just ask me?” Rafe is looking at you like you just grew a second head as you’re perched on his lap with a giddy little expectant smile on your face. “Where the fuck is this coming from, huh?”

“Well, if you must know, the book I’m reading right now gave me the idea.” Your fingers lazily twist the strands of hair at the nape of his neck as he looks down at you with a stoned expression that only makes a small giggle escape your lips.

“Yeah? What’s this fuckin’ book about?” Rafe raises in eyebrow at you as both of his large hands come down on your barely covered ass causing you to yelp and jolt forward in his lap.

“So there’s a Princess right? And she’s in this love triangle with her knight and the Prince she’s betrothed to. And basically in the last chapter they both fucked her and I was thinking about what it would be like to have two guys fuck me at once, is all.” You rock in his lap slightly and you’re giving him this satisfied smile like you just told him about your day not that you wanted some other guy to fuck you.

“Are you fuckin’ serious?” Rafe scoffs and rolls his eyes as his grip on your hips tightens. “You think I’m gonna let some other guy fuck you? You think I’d let another man near you? Inside you? Be so fuckin’ for real right now, bats. I think you forgot who you’re talking to.”

“Hey! It was just a thought! You don’t have to get all grumpy and jealous about it!!” You lean back in his lap and look up at him with puppy eyes and a pout on your lips that would normally have him flipping the switch, but not this time.

“Of course I’m fuckin’ jealous! You want some other dude to fuck you!” A low groan escapes the back of Rafe’s throat as he throws his head back against the couch cushions. “Who, huh? Let me know so I can run him over.”

“Rafe! You’re being so dramatic! I was literally imaging you as the prince and the knight as how he was described in the book. It’s not that serious.” You giggle as you grab onto his face, pulling his head down so that he’s looking at you. “Now who’s pouting?”

“Quit.” He grabs onto both your wrists, putting your hands at your sides. “I don’t fuckin’ pout. And I don’t fuckin’ share. You want both your holes stuffed so bad I’ll shove that dildo you love so damn much up your pretty little ass while I wreck that pussy from behind, got it?”

“Yeah, okay, that sounds really hot actually.” You give him a stratified smile before looking off into the distance for a moment and Rafe can tell you’re about to ask him another fucking question. “But, what about a girl though?”

“Well, now that’s… That’s something we can talk about some other time, aight? Right now I want you upstairs, stripped, and on your hands and knees in the next five minutes or I’m not letting you cum tonight.”

All things Rafe & his weird!Girl here

divider is @strangergraphics

[slvtforoldermen]

Pedro’s Characters: The Dick-tionary

How big are Pedro Pascal’s characters and some NSFW headcannons

(WARNING: DETAILS OF PENISES AND TALKS OF SEX - MDNI)

Part Two <3

A/N: Sorry I never continued Fluff February :(, I lost motivation so I’ll just write them and post them as a prompt list for whenever…

Joel Miller:

Okay, all his characters are big, it’s a known fact, but Joel is 100% the biggest. Probably about 8.5 inches, with a pretty pink mushroom tip, and GIRTHY AGH! There’s a vein on it that is really visible when he’s hard. Oh and his balls are big too. Everything about Joel is just big. Not only is he big but you best believe he knows how to use it too. He’s got a daddy kink… Fav positions are missionary and cowgirl, however when he’s angry doggy or the mating press are a no-brainer. Daddy kink! DOMINANT!!! There’s no way this man is a sub, it just doesn’t work, he’s just so dom yknow, and when he’s soft, he’s the sweetest he’s ever been, but if he’s angry, hard dom Joel comes out and that’s a man you don’t wanna piss off if you wanna cum. He’s got such a daddy kink. “Fuck babygirl/boy, you’re so fucking sweet, sugar. So fucking good for daddy. Yeah baby? You like that? Such a good little girl/boy, so fucking sweet.” Daddy kink is such is a big thing for him. Hair wise? Well it’s the apocalypse so it’s probably hard to find the Manscaper 3000 or whatever. He trims his hair with some scissors, honestly he didn’t really care for shaving before you, so he just let it grow, but once when you were sucking him, you almost sneezed from how much it tickled your nose and made a little joke about it after, which made Joel feel a little bad so he cut them just a little shorter. Oh I’m sorry and did I mention… DADDY KINK!!!

Javier Peña:

(Here I’m purely writing about Javier Pena in a fictional sense AS PEDRO, not the real guy, this has nothing to do with the real Javier Pena)

Okay, Javier, my baby daddy. Um, who said that- ANYWAYS! Javier is probably the second biggest, in joint place with Oberyn, definitely about 7-7.5 inches, as he’s nicknamed by moi, the Pussy Slayer of Medellin. It goes without saying that Javier is rough, as we’ve seen, side note: I don’t know why I thought watching Narcos with my family would be a good idea… I was sat on the couch like “😀 okay, I’m watching Pedro have sex next to my mum, just a normal Saturday morning…” anyways back to it (hehe Negan reference) but Javier is rough, doggy and cowgirl are his favourite positions, but sometimes when he’s feeling a little somber he likes a little missionary. As how domestically-kinky I like my men, I’m a little disappointed that Javier isn’t a committed man, but he does have a tiny 🤏 breeding kink, he defo isn’t a fan of being called daddy, in fact just call him Javi and he’s yours, and he’s dom obviously. “Oh carino, you take my cock so well, you good little whore… fuck… my sweet little angel.” I mean, we’ve all seen his hair, so do we really need address it, that also might genuinely be my fav sex scene in all of cinema history.

Oberyn Martell

Okay, admittedly, I haven’t seen any proper scenes of Oberyn, because I’ve just started GOT, so I have no clue what his character is like apart from being a HUGE BISEXUAL SLUT, so he’s just like me 🤭

Oberyn, tying with Javier, is about 7-7.5 inches, and I feel like his cock is definitely a lot more tan than others, idk why, it’s just an instinct. Defo uncircumcised. His fav positions are definitely cowgirl OH and dude is the literal definition of a pillow prince, again, just like me. Suck his dick, please, just suck his dick. Again, I don’t know how he’s presented in GOT, but I’m like 74% sure he’s dominant? From the clips I’ve seen 🫣 Hair wise, do razors exists in the GOT world? Or does my man just shave himself with a sword.

Javi Gutierrez:

Oh my sweet baby Javi… he’s so kinky. I’m fully convinced he’s into full BDSM, not so much where he has to do it every single time, but maybe like once a month. When I was watching TUWOMT for the first time, when Nick is about to go into the room with all his merch and stuff, I was dead convinced it was gonna be a sex dungeon. There’s no way a man is this sweet and adorable without being into some freaky shit.

Anyway, Javi is about 6.5 inches, with a sweet pink tip and he’s definitely a giver not a taker, don’t get him wrong, he ADORES you with his dick in your mouth, but he prefers to eat you out/suck your dick for hours on end. Oh and he’s a sweet talker, when you guys aren’t being full kinky, he’ll praise you to hours on end, mumbling in your ear how good you are in that sexy accent of his. Is a little bit of a switch, but mostly dominant, soft dom if it’s a normal night but if it’s that special night, only your safe word will pull him out of hard dom space. Definitely the type to overstimulate you in a sweet way “you can take it right sweetheart? Mi amor~ just take my cock nice and good, ahí tienes.” Um, daddy kink for surely, but not like every single night like Joel. But when he’s between your legs, and he’s stimulated you so far into sub space, and you’re struggling to keep your eyes open, and you’re reaching up for him, babbling how good his cock feels in your hole, he can’t help but coo down at you and praise you so hard. He’s not bald, but his hair isn’t long, just trimmed to the point where it tickles your nose when you suck his cock.

Din Djarin

Okay, so I think it’s canon that Din hasn’t really ever felt human touch, so I feel he’s really inexperienced… but the dude’s got a pretty dick. Like it’s just so… pretty. About 6 inches with a sweet baby pink tip, he’s so sensitive too. He loves head but he really can’t say it, he’s just too embarrassed. I just get the vibe that he’s mostly subby. He tried to be dom once but the poor baby couldn’t handle it all. But then he tried again and he did so good, but it tired him out, so if he’s domming, which is once in a blue moon, he’s going to be soft, maybe even softer than Javi. Mommy/Daddy kink!! “Please, I’m good right? Please, please tell me I’m doing good… you always feel so so good, I love you so much.” Please, he’s so sweet I love him. It’s rare that you guys get off together because of reasons due to his upbringing and stuff so he just likes being taken care of, the sweet boy. Before you, he never really cared for shaving, so when you first strip together, he’s a little nervous about it, and then after that he trims it, quite short.

Marcus Moreno

If anyone says this man is a hard dom they’re just kidding themselves, this man is the sweetest man out there, obviously not as much as Din ofc <3.

Marcus has an obsession with using his hands, making you cum just by fingering you. Then when he’s inside you, he slips his fingers into your mouth, or around your neck, or on your cheek. His dick is about 7 inches, and like everyone else, knows how to use it perfectly. Angel is one of his favourite nicknames to call you. “My perfect Angel, taking my cock so good baby…” whilst hes thrusting into you ever so gently. Would never EVER do it when Missy is around, so quickies before picking Missy up from school are his go to, but he loves the days where his mom can take her out for the day or even a grandma sleepover so he can be with you for hours. You under him, over him, him inside you, his good girl/boy, his good angel. Pleasuring you until you get numb. The armpit hair in the scene of the gif gets me and idk why, I have never had a thing for armpit hair but maybe I’m just really horny, but his hair down there is nice and trimmed, not bald, never bald.

Tim Rock(Hard)Ford

Here we go…

Oh Tim man! I have a teensy 🤏 detective kink so when Pedro played this role it was over for me.

Maybe it’s the greying, like Joel, but I feel like he’s huge, just like Joel. He’s 8 inches, living his best life. But he’s just a tired old man, so when he gets home, please just get on your knees for him, he’ll just lay there, stroking your hair, praising you, telling you how good you suck his cock. Then he’ll bring you up to the bed and return the favour, making sure to always get you to tell him about your day as he does so. Saturday nights are always his favourite time to rail into you, he’s had the whole day off, just resting, watching you walk around, getting him so worked up. He has a domestic kink. So seeing you do chores get him so hard. Loves fucking between your thighs when you’re sleeping because he gets home so late and just needs a little relief, but you look so cute and peaceful while you sleep and because he’s so considerate, he doesn’t wanna wake you. “So good for me baby, so good for daddy, gonna fill you up, you’re not gonna let any of my cum slip out right, gonna keep it all in your tummy, yeah, that’s it, cum for me.” TALKS YOU THROUGH IT!!! Sleeps naked. Not trimmed, not shaved, just grows it out, he’s old so he doesn’t care, it’s not like anyone but you would be seeing him like this anyways.

Dieter Bravo

I love Dieter, he’s so cute.

Not dom, but not sub either, just dom enough to see you break under him but sub enough to whimper and get soooo desperate. Such a huge pillow prince, he loves it when you suck him, especially when you grab his balls and caress them, he cums so quick when that happens. He’s about 6.5 inches, and it loves fast, not as in quickie, but he loves seeing you fall apart as he jackhammers into your hole. When you ride him he gets so sweet, and he can last long, don’t worry, but you just look so pretty on top of him, he can’t help it, please don’t be mad at him. Has a thing for dry humping, especially in the morning when he’s too lazy to move properly. “So good baby, oh yeah, fuck, grind against me just like that, mmmf fuck…” loves to beg and watch you beg, he’s so good to and for you, don’t doubt him ever. He doesn’t shave, he trims it, but he’s so goofy, so once he shaved it into a heart.

[starcrossed-lov3rz]

The Vow Spoken Through Time - Part 11

Daemon x Rhaenyra x Wife!Reader

Series: Series Masterlist

Warnings: MDNI, yelling, plot

Tags: marriage, poly relationship, Daemon being hopelessly in love with his wives, Queen!Rhaenyra

Words: 1.2K

Description: Y/N is having a rough morning. She's fired. She's hungover. She's in a stranger's bed. She's waking up in a new world? She's married?!

Rhaenyra and Daemon's day started normal. Waking up next to their darling wife before tending to their duties. The difference? Their wife is speaking in riddles and has no memories of them.

Check out more works in my Masterlist!

The tree behind you is identical to the heart tree in the keep. But as you look out, you and Daemon are clearly standing in the middle of a city park. The street and cars are visible from your position. 

“We’re in my world now.”

You walk around, trying to get your bearings. 

“Where are you going? We need to get back!” Daemon caught up to you. 

“No, Daemon, I spent months letting you and Rhaenyra try to convince me that my life wasn’t real.” You continue walking until you hit a road. Looking at the name, you sigh in relief. That witch outdid herself. Not only are you back in your world, you’re in the same city and just a few blocks from your apartment. 

“What do you want me to say, y/n? That I’m sorry?”

You scoffed, “actually that would be a lovely start.” Speedwalking down the sidewalk, you try not to think about all the weird stares you’re both getting. 

“Y/n,” Daemon grabs your arm to stop you. 

“Hey man, leave her alone!” A passerby stops, grabbing Daemon’s arm in an attempt to pull him away.

“If you wish to keep that hand, you will remove it at once,” Daemon growls.

“It’s okay! No one is going to hurt anyone!” you jump in. “Thank you for stopping, but I promise everything is fine. My husband is just in the dog house at the moment.” The stranger’s brows furrow, but he releases Daemon’s arm. He’s openly staring at Dark Sister on Daemon’s hip. “Oh Jesus H. Christ,” you sigh, rubbing your forehead. “We are….uh…cosplayers. Yeah, my husband and I cosplay, and this was for a photo shoot.”

“No we-”

“Yep, we are just big fans of that medieval times shit!” 

The stranger nods slowly, clearly regretting his choice to stop. “Well, um, have fun with that? Sorry, I just saw this dude manhandling-”

“No worries,” you say, pulling Daemon to walk away with you. “Thanks for looking out for me.”

Daemon is seething as you walk away, his hand drifting down towards Dark Sister’s hilt. “Why did you interfere? I had that handled!”

You don’t even try to bite back the laugh. “Really? You had it handled? What were you going to do, cut off his hand?”

“Yes!”

“Welcome to 2024,” you snort. “Even if you did, someone would have called the cops on the lunatic running around with a sword.”

“I am the Prince Consort-”

“I promise you no one here cares,” you groan. “We don’t really do all that here.”

You drag Daemon into your apartment building’s entry, running into one of your downstairs neighbors. “Hey Dani!” you say, “Going for a beach day?”

“You know it girl,” she grins, hoisting her tote bag up. “Gotta get some use out of the bikini and find myself a sugar daddy.”

“Where are we, and why is that woman in her small clothes?” Daemon asks, not bothering to lower his voice. 

Dani glares, pulling her coverup closed. You’re shocked, but you elbow Daemon. “I am so sorry for him,” you stumble over yourself. “He’s….he’s amish. They don’t have bikinis….or apartments?”

She nods and leaves, clearly upset. 

“Daemon what the fuck? You can’t just say tha-”

He doesn’t even have the decency to look apologetic, merely looking down at you with a grin. “Do you have a bikini as well?”

You groan, hitting the button for the elevator. “You’re something else, you know that? I have half a mind to leave you alone so I can sulk in peace.” You hop on the elevator, and Daemon follows warily. He looks very unsure of the device. “You’re lucky I love you,” you sigh.

“What’s stopping you from abandoning me in this world?” Daemon asks. “You were clearly ready to cut all ties to us.”

“It’s complicated,” you say. “I was upset and needed space. But I could never just abandon you here, you wouldn’t last a day and I wouldn’t forgive myself.”

“Does this mean you’re coming home?” 

You step off the elevator, ignoring his question in favor of rummaging under your front door’s welcome mat for a spare key. 

“My love, I’m sorry for not believing you,” Daemon begins. “Nyra is going to be worried sick, please just come back with me.”

“Daemon, I love you but I need time.” You sigh, looking around your apartment for your phone. It was still plugged in next to your bed. Picking it up, you saw the date. “That’s weird,” you murmur, “no time has passed.”

“What do you mean?”

“Today is the same day I woke up as her.”

“You’ve been with us for months though,” Daemon whispered. 

“I guess time works differently when you’re traveling worlds.” You shuck off your dress and rummage through your drawers to find a bra. “I never thought I’d say it, but damn I miss bras.” You slip into a tshirt and jeans before trying to find something for Daemon to wear. 

“My love, are you sure that is appropriate to be outside in?”

You groan, finding a pair of your ex’s jeans and a baggy shirt. “These should fit, just put them on and try to keep your opinions to yourself.”

“But y/-”

“No buts, do you want food or not?”

Daemon nodded, changing in silence as his eyes flickered around the room. “What is this?” he asked, gesturing towards your phone.

“It’s a cellphone. Think of it like a raven, I guess,” you say. “I can use it to write or talk to anyone in the world right now.”

“That’s impossible,” Daemon snorted. “Not even the fastest raven cou-”

You roll your eyes, dialing up your favorite pizza joint and putting them on speakerphone. “Hey, can I order pickup? A  large pepperoni pizza and garlic knots for y/n.”

“20 minutes.”

Daemon stood, mouth agape as he heard the voice come through the other side of the line. You smirked, hanging up the phone. “Just wait until you find out about TV.”

“What is pizza?” 

“The greatest thing since sliced bread.”

“What’s sliced bre-”

NOTE: It's me againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Not gonna bore ya'll with the life drama, but damn life is crazy. Anyway, here's a chapter PLUS no spoilers but later today I'm dropping the first chapter to a new fic and the main love interest is *drum roll* WOLVERINE BB. As always - some ppl I can’t tag, so if you’re listed on the tag list and not receiving notifications, please check that your settings are on “allow this blog to appear in search results” or message me if I messed up the spelling! ~ Lacie <3

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[whyilovewhales-pdf]

boynextdoor fic recommendations (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

— a collection of works i have enjoyed ! warning ! contains nsfw 18+ works, minors plz do not read smut fics

key : ✿ - fluff / ✦ - angst / ✸ - smut

ot6 : ➜ bnd as male leads ✿ - @000-pawz ﹟this is something straight out of a k-drama !! (っ- ‸ - ς) the little details are so adorable and each and every one gives me butterflies hehehe

➜ bnd's fav spots to be kissed ✿ - @blumisiu ﹟ something short and sweet and so! cute! i admit that i giggled while reading it :p like i need to kiss leehans' dimples sooo bad D:

➜ arguments w/ bnd ✦ , ✿ - @byeuijoo ﹟ this fic filled the bnd sized hole in my heart perfectly ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡ the during and after was so perfect ! it's also written so accurately, u really took in account all their personalities -v-

sungho : ➜ quicksand ✦ - @loserlvrss ﹟ i always have and will continue to rave about this fic because it's just so !! the descriptions, the metaphors, the everything!!! the image it paints in your mind is so crazy ?! tears streaming down my face everytime i read it (which is very often)

➜ satin ✿ , ✸ - @gluion ﹟ firstly, THE VISUALIZATION!! just imagine prettiest boy sungho bedazzled in bows... ok now that that's out of the way, this was soooooo soft and adorable !! i literally was drooling while reading heheh i <3 yeppi

riwoo : ➜ tell me a story ✦ , ✿ - @blumisiu ﹟ spidey-riwoo!! the chronicles of spidey-riwoo have my heart heheh <3 being spiderman's girlfriend is indeed very hard, especially when you just find out after ages of dating him! this was so sweet and had my heart hurting !! spidey-riwoo is so underrated

➜ evening glow ✿ - @loserlvrss ﹟ my lovely soph... how do you always eat with every single one of ur fics!! this was just incredibly adorable, the concept of a first date with somebody you already know like the back of ur hand!! i think riwoo is the sweetest dude ever and to go on a date with him!! yeah i'm gone.

jaehyun : ➜ solace ✿ , ✦ , ✸ - @000-pawz ﹟ such a soft and cute fluffy fic !! >o< i need him in my arms and to spoil him so badly D: softie myungjae is the best thing ever omg. plz let me make u feel good !!

➜ blossom ✿ , ✦ - @riizegasm ﹟ i don't usually like royalty fics but the princess and prince concept was written way too cute !! the progression of their relationship is so lovely and the minor angst part was !!!

taesan : ➜ between the lines ✿ , ✦ - @blissfullsvn ﹟ omg enemies to lovers is so good but academic rivals to lovers is my number 1!! the fact that he cares D: so devastating... this was such a cute little trope heheheh and it was written so well (ㅠㅠ) !! i need him to take care of me lol

➜ your arms are my sanctuary ✿ , ✦ - @chewnotchoke ﹟ ohhhh i'm a SUCKER for angst with a happy ending hehe !! this was written with the intention to make me cry !! the ending was just so cute and sweet, i think it is very accurate that taesan can get pent up with anger, but he's just an angel!

leehan : ➜ moving to busan ✿ , ✦ (kinda) - @lionhanie ﹟ the mood and storytelling created throughout this fic was so detailed and i felt like i was seeing handsome surfer boy leehan irl hehe !! this fic evoked such deep emotions that are just so relatable!! this is very well written :D

➜ wasted ✦ , ✸ - @hornychristianprincess ﹟ this is a three part series !! it's so relatable and so realistic !! another promise of "i won't fall for him" and we all know how that ends :D i love seeing leehan written as a jerk (sorry bae) + the emotions are so raw and so real and the smut is 10/10. a read that'll definitely have u hooked !

woonhak : ➜ not so secret ✿ - @byeuijoo ﹟ a little secret but i always go back and reread this cause it's just too cute and woonhak is written so perfectly !! the childish romance cliche teenage relationship is mwah chefs kiss .! and the hiding from the others is just so cozy and cute.

➜ build-a-bear ✿ , ✦ - @taesanluv3r ﹟ every woonhak fic is so flipping adorable !! cries !! the little fight then him sneaking off to get a gift :< my fav trope is when woonhak gets teased to hell and back hehehe

[nb-octopus-writes]

once you're in the hive, the other bees assume you're supposed to be there

[Masterpost]

Summary:

Virgil accidentally gets absorbed by his best friend's brother's polycule.

In his defense, they keep feeding him every time they see him, and Patton's cooking is really good.

Chapter 1: Halloween Party

Wordcount: 1.9K

~

There are a lot of people Virgil doesn't know at this party. Remus is here, somewhere, and Virgil needs to find him again before the party ends, because Remus was his ride and he doesn't want to get left here. Janus is here too though, and Virgil doesn't think Janus would let Remus leave without him, and he's sure Remus wouldn't desert Janus, so he's trying not to worry too much about the fact that he doesn't currently know where Remus is.

But that's it for people Virgil knows, and Remus didn't even bother to introduce him to anyone before fucking off to who knows where, and Virgil’s certainly not going to walk up to a random stranger and introduce himself, so he's currently appreciating the snack table. If he's eating or deliberating on what to eat next, he can't be expected to talk to anybody, right?

“’Scuse me, itsy bitsy,” someone says from behind him, and Virgil turns to see a vaguely familiar man in a dazzling prince costume holding a fresh plate of deviled eggs.

Virgil moves so that the prince dude can set the plate down on a clear spot on the table, and frowns. “I'm taller than you, Princey.”

Prince dude shrugs, plucks one of the eggs up, and takes a large bite. “Lucky you, or we'd've had to ask you to vacate the premises,” he says. “No little spiders allowed, real or fake.”

Which, yeah, now that he's mentioned it, Virgil had noted an extreme lack of spider-themed decorations, which is unusual for Halloween. Usually there'd at least be spiderweb cupcakes, but the cupcakes at this party are mostly cute ghosts.

There's probably a good reason for that, Virgil realizes with a sinking feeling. “Should I change?”

“You got another costume handy, or were you planning on spinning a spider-silk cocoon and metamorphosing into a butterfly?”

Virgil grimaces. “No,” he admits.

Prince Dude considers him. “It's not very realistic,” he says, which is true. Virgil hadn't been going for realism, he'd been going for passable costume I can make on short notice. He's wearing black jeans and a black hoodie, and he'd cut some pool noodles in half and wrapped them in more black cloth and stuck them to his back for the other four legs. It had been a pain to get them to stay in place properly, actually, and he'd ended up sewing their wrappings to the back of his hoodie in order to keep them where he wanted them. He'd been pretty proud of it, given that Remus had dropped “we're going to a costume party at my brother's house” on him like an hour beforehand, but now he's wishing he'd come up with any other idea. He could have put a sheet over his head and been a ghost, or something. Granted, that would have required him to have a sheet that was both white and that he was willing to cut holes in, which he didn't, but still.

Prince Dude continues to quietly scrutinize Virgil, and he wants to squirm under his gaze. Eventually, the guy shrugs and says, “Might be best to ask the scaredy-cat himself. Wait here, I'll be back.” And he saunters off before Virgil can answer.

For lack of anything better to do, Virgil picks up a deviled egg and shoves the whole thing in his mouth. It's really tasty, actually, and now he's wishing he'd taken smaller bites rather than horking it down in one.

Virgil had thought that Princey was just being mean with the “scaredy-cat” thing, but the guy he's talking to now actually is dressed as a calico cat. Prince Dude points back at Virgil, and Mister Calico Cat glances in his direction, then turns back to Princey. Virgil can't hear what they're saying, but he supposes Prince Dude must've asked Calico if Virgil’s costume was too creepy crawly scary.

They talk for way longer than Virgil had expected, and he can't tell if Calico's response was more like “No, he's fine,” or more along the lines of “Yes, that's terrifying, please have him removed immediately from my sight and also my home.”

He occupies himself with another deviled egg. If he's going to get kicked out, he might as well enjoy some more of this tasty food first.

Oh, fuck. Remus.

Remus isn't going to want to leave early just to take Virgil home, and Virgil still doesn't know where he even is! Fuck!

Well, Remus could have warned him not to be a spider, so if Virgil gets kicked out of the party it'll be at least partly Remus's fault. Virgil doesn't know anybody here, but Remus knows at least half these people, and if Calico’s spider aversion is enough that there are no spider-themed decorations in the house on Halloween, that sounds like the kind of thing Remus would know about.

Granted, Remus revels in being gross and annoying, but still! He's not a total dick. He should have told Virgil.

Fucker.

Calico vanishes into the other room, and Prince Dude comes back over to Virgil. He doesn't look like he's about to kick Virgil to the curb, at least. Virgil braces himself anyway.

“Good news!” Princey says with a grin. “Li’l Mister Muffet says you don't look like a creepy crawly death dealer and he doesn't have the urge to remove you with arson!”

Virgil blinks. “...gooood?” he says slowly. He hadn't even considered kill it with fire being a potential response to his costume. That would have been worse than just getting kicked out of the party, actually.

“Honestly you're much more Doc Ock in silhouette, Spider-Man,” Princey continues. “That helps a lot.”

Virgil glances back at where Prince Dude and Calico had been chatting. “So he didn't leave the room because he can't stand the sight of me?” he asks anyway.

“Nah, he wanted to make another plate of horse devours,” Princey says, reaching past Virgil to grab a cupcake off the table. This one has a little frosting bat.

“A plate of what?” Virgil says, because surely he didn't hear that right.

“Little snacks,” Prince Dude clarifies instead of repeating himself. “Our fridge is crammed with delicious bits and bobs. It's been so hard to resist the temptation to eat them before the party.” He bites appreciatively into his cupcake, then adds with his mouth full, “You'd think he wouldn't notice what with how much he made, but nooo, sneak one chocolate covered cherry before party time and it's a lengthy scolding for you!” Princey sighs dramatically, then cheerfully devours the rest of his cupcake.

“...hors d'oeuvres?” Virgil says hesitantly.

“Yeah, a couple ordervs of deviled eggs, cheese and crackers, and those scrumptious little pinwheel things,” Princey says. Virgil’s not sure if Princey actually doesn't know how hors d'oeuvres is pronounced, or if he's messing with him, but then Princey gives him a mischievous grin that one, confirms that yes, Princey does know what he's doing, and two, is so familiar that it freezes Virgil in place as the pieces click together in his brain.

The lack of a mustache makes Prince Dude's face look different, and so does the way he did his makeup, and he carries himself differently, but it's undeniable all the same: Virgil knows that grin.

This is Remus's twin brother.

Now that he's connected the dots (you haven't connected shit) the family resemblance is clear even to Virgil’s honestly rather faceblind eyes.

This is Remus's brother, and it's his house they're partying at.

… Virgil doesn't remember the guy's name.

Fuck, he should've made sure he at least knew who the party hosts were, especially the one related to his mischief goblin of a best friend.

Well he can't exactly ask now, can he?

“Also like, five types of cupcakes,” Princey continues, oblivious to Virgil’s inner turmoil. “Seriously, have you tried the cupcakes? Chef Boiardelightful made multiple separate batches of different flavors, from scratch. And they're all delicious!”

Virgil smirks. “And did you try to snitch them before the party too?”

Princey gasps theatrically, pressing a hand to his chest. “How could you accuse me of such a thing!?” he protests with exactly as much dramatic emotion as Virgil would expect from Remus's twin. “For your information, I did not! I merely sampled a portion of the batter left on the spatula after the cupcakes had gone into the oven. Also some of the frosting.”

“He means that he licked the bowls clean,” says a new voice, and Virgil does not jump out of his skin, thank you very much. And even if he did jolt a little, it's nothing to the startled squawk Princey emits.

Calico's back, holding a platter of little finger sandwiches on toothpicks. He offers them up to Virgil, who takes one. “Thanks.”

“No worries, kiddo!” Calico says cheerfully, and puts the rest of the platter down on the snack table. Princey plucks up two sandwiches by their toothpicks, and gets a stern look in response. “Make sure to leave some for the guests,” Calico scolds.

“My delightful and beloved Patissier,” Princey says, cupping Calico's face gently with his free hand. “I assure you that each of our guests could have a heaping plateful of food and we would still have leftovers until next Tuesday. No-one will be going home hungry.”

It really is an impressive spread. Everything Virgil’s tried has been really good. Remus really could have played up the ‘free food’ angle more when trying to convince Virgil to come. If he'd known the food would be this good, then overriding his usual party-related reservations—it's gonna be loud, there will be a lot of people, I don't know anybody, etc—would have been a lot easier. Then again, Virgil probably wouldn't have believed him. He'd mostly been expecting pizza and cheap beer, honestly, not– not homemade delicacies.

The tiny sandwich Calico gave him is lightly toasted, with some kind of sliced-meat-and-cream-cheese filling, and a little green leafy garnish on top. It definitely looks much fancier than most things Virgil eats, and he can understand why Calico doesn't want Princey to eat them all. That probably took a decent amount of effort. He almost feels bad eating it himself, except that Calico had offered it to him specifically, and it would probably be more rude at this point to not eat it.

“Are you sure my costume is okay?” Virgil asks, interrupting the minor squabble Princey and Calico had fallen into.

“Oh, yes, you're fine,” Calico assures him. “Trust me, if you were pinging my brain as an actual spider I wouldn't be in the room right now, let alone standing next to you.”

“Really, cause most cats I know would eat a spider soon as look at it,” Virgil quips, and is rewarded with Calico laughing.

“That wouldn't be very good host-ly of me, now would it?” he says. “I would never eat a guest!”

“Not unless they're a reptile with scallions,” Princey teases, and Calico flushes.

“Hey!” he protests, swatting Princey's shoulder with one hand and trying to cover his extremely red face with the other. Virgil wonders what the reference was, exactly, but doesn't think it's his place to ask. It seems rather personal, from how hard Calico is blushing.

…maybe he'll ask Remus later if he knows what the story there is.

~~~~

Chapter 2: The Morning After

[17020]

REN KAJI is perceptive. It might take him a bit sometimes, but he's got the spirit.

He's attentive. His eyes constantly linger, taking in your every move. From the way your fingers move while typing new music recommendations on his phone, to the way in which your nose crinkles when you laugh at him, he's observing the way in which you do practically... anything.

It didn't take long for Kaji to know something's up.

Standing in front of the mirror and taking longer than usual, a slight look of disappointment in your eyes—one that Kaji doesn't miss. A look of discomfort when you're showered with compliments, and a smile that to the naked eye seems entirely genuine, accompanied with a change in your voice—the slight drop of Kaji's favorite tune is immediately perceived.

Time flies. Way too fast for your liking.

The third and final year is coming, with summer break reaching the half-way checkpoint. Kaji's lying down on his couch and you're on top of him, your head on his chest, careful to count every beat of his heart.

Around 110? You can't tell, but you know he grows nervous when you're close.

You call out to him, feeling the vibrations of his chest as he hums in response. "Do you think I can transfer and spend my last year in Furin?"

"Dunno, I'd have to ask Umemiya and Tsubaki" He hums, his eyes quickly narrowing as he moves his hand to entangle it in your hair. "Don' think that's possible though, Furin's an all-boys school."

"Baby..."

He's analyzing your reaction, slowly removing his hand from your hair as you raise your head to face him.

"I'm transferring to Furin, so please send me Tsubaki's number so I can go through admissions."

"But you're a—"

"Ren."

"What?"

"Ren."

Your gaze softens, and it's in that moment where everything clicks. Every piece that was scattered in his mind comes together as he's seeing the full picture—the puzzle is complete.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"Should've told me sooner, I could've helped with anything you needed" he reprimands, his hand now on your cheek. "You thought I was gonna give you shit for it?"

You avert his gaze, and that tells him everything he needs to know. His thumb softly caresses your cheek as he thinks back to all the signs, why couldn't he get the hint from way back then?

"Don' have many clothes, but you can take some if you want—they're comfortable. I'll talk to Tsubaki so don't worry about anything, and if anyone gives you shit, you call me."

It's not subtle at all, his attempt to be supportive. From the last few minutes he gathered that it's abundantly clear that comprehension and support is what you need, and you feel as if what he offers isn't enough. If he has to step up his game, he will.

"Thanks, Ren" you smile.

"'s nothing, dude."

"Dude? We've been dating for a year. Be fucking for real."

He softly chuckles, leaning down to place a kiss on your forehead. "Sorry, prince."

note. inspired by @kissagii 's post which i love sm, this is for you!! sorry this was rushed a bit i'm sleepy.

[lamnwar]

Hello! Very specific request. I have a job at a Themepark, basically I work as a Disney princess there (aurora). Its for children to sort of meet their Disney role models, favorite prince/princess. I read them stories, take pictures with them, etc. Could you sort of do a headcanon-esque scenario of how the gom will react to a partner with such a job? Maybe how some of them will be mildly jealous of the assigned prince? This was so embarrasing to type out omg if your uncomfortable with any part of the request/dont wanna do this lmk! No pressure, whatsoever. Love you, stay safe!

Hiiii thanks for the request! 💕 It was such a fun one to write and omggg you gotta be extra pretty to be working as a irl disney princess 😭

SHE'S A PRINCESS // KNB Headcanons

Context: in which you work as a theme park princess and your boyfriend feels some type of way about it

Pairing: GOM x gn! Reader (gender not specified

Warning: fluff, nothing too serious, slightly suggestive but safe for all audiences!

AKASHI

I don't think Akashi really went to theme parks as a kid so he's probably a bit surprised to know that playing a princess there is an actual job

Literally stunned the first time he sees you in costume like, his girl is just so pretty!!!

Would come on regular visit just to see you because my man is obsessed with how gorgeous you are and how well you play the role

The way you show so much grace and you are so nice to all the people that come to you

Would be the kind to take pictures of the public with you because he absolutely gets it, you are a princess

Talking of which, "princess" progressively becomes a new nickname he uses for you

He doesn't mind that you work with another guy as your assigned prince, but if dude tries to make a pass at you, he's as good as dead 💀

Smiles softly as he looks at children coming to you thinking you're the real character

And the way you're just so sweet with these kids aaaahh! my man just falls in love even more from seeing that

MIDORIMA

To Midorima, a job's a job, so he doesn't think much of it

He took some time before visiting you at the park and actually seeing you in costume

This DEFINITELY awakens something in him, trust me

Would obviously not admit to it but he really falls even more when he sees you in your princess get-up

He would occasionally visit you, but to make sure you're doing ok and is not too exhausted

He's such a meticulous guy that he'll sometimes help you out with your costume

Got a crease on your dress? he's on it already! Need someone to curl your hair at the back? he's your man

Not even surprised by the little kids who are convinced that you are a true princess, because you absolutely look the part

But sometimes these kids would get a bit sneaky and ask you if you really love the prince

It's hard to answer that question when you know that your boyfriend is nearby and he can hear you well

But you'll just look at Shintaro while you say "yes, I do love my prince" because thinking of him is the only way you can express genuine love

KISE

That guy could easily steal your job, let's be real

I mean he's just that pretty!! no offense to you but it's just the truth

When he comes and sees you at the park, you better believe people mistake him for a prince

And when they see the both of you together? Yeah, you might as well be a real royal couple

He's your best hype man too, goes around telling everyone that you have to be the best princess of the whole theme park

Doesn't mind the guy who works with you as your assigned prince, since he knows very well that he has nothing on Kise

I mean... he really can't compete

But he might a bit pouty when you play your role a bit too well, acting lovey-dovey with your prince for the public

He gets reassured when you come to him later and give him a kiss on the cheek

Not sure if it's allowed for you to break character like that, but it really doesn't matter if it's for Kise 🤭

AOMINE

Aomine kinda makes fun of your at first when you tell him that your job is to be a (fake) princess

But he's quick to shut his mouth the first time he sees you

Like... damn, that just unlocked a new kink

You're so damn beautiful he goes mad

Obsessed with princess! you

Has beef with a 6 yo once because that kid was looking at you for a bit too long for his taste

It's kinda funny because he's being ridiculous, but still

At first, very much against you having to work with another dude, especially when you have to play pretend a couple

But it doesn't last long because you told him once you're only his and it's enough to switch his mind

Now he brags to these kids that you're actually his

"See that gorgeous princess? Yeah she's in love with me"

"But what about the prince?"

"She loves me more than the prince"

A big PR disaster for the park, btw, but he couldn't care less

The most beautiful princess in the park is his, and he'll never lie about it

MURASAKIBARA

Very intrigued by that job of yours

What do you mean, you get paid to be a princess?

Honestly looking at him, you're confident he can book a job as a pretend royal

His physique is very prince-like, can't say that much about his personality

Anyways!

Comes to the park often so he gets to see you + eat nice snacks!!

Buys you food too when he's here, so you do not starve

Nods in agreement every time a kid points at you all impressed

"Yeah, she's indeed the prettiest"

Plays the game and tells people that you *are* a real princess

Weirdly enough, he gets hungry seeing you in costume

I mean that puffy pastel dress? Girl, you look like a pastry

Doesn't really like you working with a prince

He just doesn't get it! Like, what do you need a prince for? People like the princess more anyway

Even when you tell him it's part of the act, he's pouty about it

It's cute though, in its own way!

[funtheysaid]

IWTV 2x01 Initial Thoughts (Stream Of Consciousness)

- That title card for Delainey felt very stage play to me (ahhh I adore the theatrical elements for this season)

- Ooh I love the idea that vamps can take on the emotions of whosever blood they’re drinking - it’s like the vampire equivalent of when werewolves can smell ppl’s emotions and fears through chemosignals (a la Teen Wolf iykyk)

- “Disregard” is the funniest shit ever 😂 Oldmaniel they could never make me hate you

- There’s a Real Rashid OMFG ??? Lol imagine he’s not actually Rashid and they pull one over on us again I’d fucking shit myself

- “Your love was in a box” OH MY GOD EAT HIM UP DANNY BOY

- OMG OMG LOUSTAT ITS HAPPENIGN ITS HAPPENING EVERYONE SHUT UP

- I MISS YOU TOO LESTAT

- “Quite fucked” 😏😏😏

- “mon amour” “mon cher” “love” IM GOING TO EXSANGUINATE MYSELF ISTG

- The singular finger on Louis’ chin 🥲 so delicate so soft so bad for my mental health

- I like Emilia

- “They are not used to seeing man with good looks” OKAY I know they’re just racists BUT she also wasn’t lying bc beautiful Louis is canon god bless you Jacob Anderson

- Lol Morgan a little fruity

- OOH memory is a monster! They be redoing scenes as Louis “fixes” his memories !!!! That’s gonna show up again for sure :))))

- “Stupid Halloween costume” Daniel Molloy the brat that you are (is okay, Armand likes brats) *cough cough*

- I’ve never seen someone *elegantly* close an iPad before. Armand, you have bewitched me.

- The fucking sexual tension between DM is stifling 🥵😶‍🌫️ Um if this is us “not getting Devil’s Minion” then I think imma be okay

- Claudia pushing the little racist boy 🤪🥹 we can’t help but to stan

- WTF AMC you can’t just jumpscare me with a Grace photograph :’)))

- “UP YOUR BUM” EXCUSE ME MORGAN I KNEW YOU WERE FRUITY BUT SIRRRR?

- so the makeup department really put their whole sfxussies into that decrepit ass abomination

- Louis: Alexa, play Mr. Steal Your Girl by Trey Songz

- Claudia calling Louis Daddy in S1: ☺️🍭👼 Claudia calling Louis Daddy in S2: 😖🤢😟

- I’m dubbing Louis “The Rat Prince”

- “If he can’t take you ballroom dancing and call you pretty” ICONIC.

- “the motherfucker” it’s on sight Bruce or Killer or whatever the fuck your name was 🤕🥊

- “her hand twitched like yours would” why was that line lowkey out of pocket. My mans has Parkinson’s Louis !!!!

- SHE DREAMS 😭 MY FUCKING GOD STOP MY EYES ARE GONNA BE PUFFY WHEN I WAKE UP TOMORROW

- that wasn’t even acting that was some REAL shit. Get Jacob Anderson his Emmy or Oscar or Tony or whatever the fuck I just need him to be awarded for his talent

- Daniel’s soft compassionate side: rare but that much more meaningful when it makes an appearance

- LOUIS you did not just do Emilia dirty like that TF!?! She helped you dude.

- “Human affairs. Their problem.” Not you listening to Lestat now of all times

- “Catfish with teeth” Louis can really read a bitch to filth can’t he?

- AHHH THERE ARE TWO OF THE FUCKERS 👹👹

- Oh shit he’s a kid okay I’m sorry for calling you an abomination earlier. That was mean.

- Woman vampire, you standing precariously close to that fire 👀

- Delainey’s facial expressions are the perfect blend of innocent and slightly unsettling

- OPP INTO THE FIRE SHE GOES rip 🔥

- What the hell is a bacon triptych am I just stupid don’t answer that

- Armand you ain’t beating the iPad kid allegations

- “It’s his drug” He said that with such malice. Is this a “he needed me but he needed drugs more” plot line???

- So Dubai Loumand is chilly frigid tepid frosty glacial

- Free feet? Okay im sorry

- “We can have him saying what happened next in no time” okay wait hold up why you making it sound like YOU don’t know what happened next and you need him to tell you???

- oh danny boy whistling while the couple he’s counseling walks in… is this a comedy or ?

- Daniel: yeah? 🤓 Armand: yeah 🫦

- “the mother of New Orleans” oh he misses home

- LMFAO Daniel interrupting Armand before he can start soliloquizing

- Louis and Claudia in a truck full of art which they belong in bc they too are pieces of art to me

- hard words. soft words. 🥺

- “a shit life beats no life” god damn this monologue feels like Louis is speaking directly to my soul

- “as long as you walk the earth I’ll never taste the fire” If this is foreshadowing I- I- I don’t know what I’ll do but it’s going to involve a baseball bat and a waffle iron and my head

- “it would be enough” pan to Lestat 💀 you can’t be fucking serious right now you just cannot

- okay it’s over and the teaser for the season just started playing and I just have to shout out the score bc damn if those violins don’t get me every god damn time

(Stutter) That’s all, folks! 🐷👋

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/751445319499317248/httpsolderthannetfictumblrcompost75113540651

She did not "basically write fanfic about Unit 731", and that's exactly the weird sort of game of telephone that led to her being relentlessly harassed by people who had not even read the book (there were claims that it was set in WWII, because the 'Unit 731 fanfic' lie was spread so far that people only heard that and decided to jump on the bandwagon) and decided she deserved to be publicly eviscerated for it.

From what the author has actually said about her inspirations for the book, she started writing it years before she found out that the ghost stories she was told as a child by her grandfather (who lived through the occupation) were about a real, specific atrocity, rather than just broadly about colonization--which makes sense considering the only part that seems directly inspired by Unit 731 is revealed near the end of the book and is the major twist that ultimately carves the scales from the MCs eyes with respect to the enemy prince in question.

Also, she didn't 'whitewash' the Japanese, and that kind of claim is really galling because would it actually have been better if she'd based the Evil Empire on Japan instead? Would that really have gotten people off her back? (And in fact I can very easily understand why someone whose family lived through such a brutal occupation would want to get some distance in a story that is partially processing those feelings and experiences by not modeling the Evil Empire directly after the country that brutalized her own; especially since a significant portion of the story involves the main character having very complicated feelings for the prince of the Evil Empire.)

If you want to talk about the writing not being great or your belief that the author didn't achieve what she set out to, that's fine, although I gather from this ask that you haven't actually read the book, which is at minimum a prerequisite to talk with authority about how any given topic or plot point is or isn't handled. I, personally, think it's incredibly tone-deaf to police how someone else writes about their own cultural heritage and family history with oppression and colonization, and that is very much how so much of this criticism comes across, especially considering how much of it is from people who fully admit to not at the least reading the book to form their own opinions about it. And for some reason, this form of criticism seems to be aimed disproportionately at authors of color, who are given much less grace and freedom to be just kinda mid or handle things poorly than white authors.

(Just as an example, I've never seen anyone call Avatar: the Last Airbender 'basically CCP fanfic' even though the fantasy prison where political dissidents/troublemakers are tossed to be tortured/brainwashed into compliance in Ba Sing Se is literally named Lake Laogai, after the Chinese political prisons/labor camps.)

--

Yeah, that last part is the crux of it, isn't it? People need a little room to work on their craft. More marginalized creators, indie creators, and people working on media with smaller audiences are afforded less. White dudes making TV shows are afforded a whole lot. Seems like it would be fairer the other way around!

[valeriefauxnom]

Unintentional Comedy - Dragalia and Feh Artwork Edition

So, remember Alfonse, from FEH?

Y'know, this dude?

For an okay crutch for those without Gala Euden or Albert or other handy light swords they didn't want to invest in, he was rather popular, only partly owed to any pre-established fondness FEH players had since they already knew him. People liked the more expanded personality we got than FEH's bare-bones story, additionally before they started trying to spice Alfonse up in more recent books.

In his story, however, one of the events that happening is Euden falling off a cliff, shortly followed by Alfonse.

Miraculously, cliff-falling isn't quite as dangerous in Dragalia Lost as in real life (also demonstrated by Leonidas in Stranded Scions, etc...), and the two survive. Alfonse has some sort of injury to his foot, however, conveniently hampering his ability to move but not much else.

Euden, being Euden and unwilling to throw anyone to the wolves, comes up with this idea:

Nothing atypical here, right?

...Well, as it was revealed in a book published two years later than his debut in Dragalia, Fire Emblem Heroes Character Illustrations, Volume 1...

Alfonse is 180cm tall, AKA 5'11.

...Is it any surprise coming from 195cm/6'5 and 180cm/5'11 parents? Someone check the Askran royal food for steroids that Sharena has apparently not been consuming, presumably because she's instead dining with heroes in the barracks.

I digress.

Now, as I've gone over before here, here's where it gets hilarious in retrospect.

In short, Ranzal, the resident big buff burly dude of Dragalia...is stated to be 6'1/185 in the joke comics.

...And while literally nobody else got an even vaguely-official number to their height, Dragalia instead opting for a 'comparison heights' to keep track of who's shorter and who's taller in a pair... Euden often seems to wind up in the 150-155cm/5'0-5'1 range or even shorter when in illustrations with Ranzal:

At most, I've seen him crack about 5'9/175cm in the comics, which aren't exactly a stable source of art, as demonstrated by these two panels, in which both seem to be on flat ground and standing pretty straight:

I need to stop before I mindlessly repeat the other post, but my point remains:

Euden, by most depictions, is tiny. A literal short prince/king.

And yet, no matter what way you slice it, he's trying to carry a dude that seems to be quite a bit taller, let's say. How much, we'll never know, but the fact remains he'd likely need to pull out a dragon phone to search 'how to carry people much taller than you?' just in case and hurriedly read a wikihow 10-step article explaining some strats, were it not for the fact that dragons would have destroyed smartphones in Dragalia a long time ago (good move, dragons....?).

I will admit that there are a few arts that frame them as the 'same height' but I would more point to the fact Euden, when drawn with crossover characters for promotional art, is usually portrayed on an 'equal footing', so as not to have one take up more space/attention. Also, the Feh team might not have even decided on a height for Alfy boy before!

Even then, he's still portrayed as shorter than 5'9/175cm Joker in some art:

So yeah. Crossover art is not exactly consistent, and all I can do is look to the general trend in the 'canon game' of him being absolutely dwarfed by Ranzal.

Now, it's one thing for Euden to be lugging about Alfonse for a while.

The idea he might have done so with such a potential height disparity is pure comedy.

No wonder he's so tired after a while, lugging about another human who is both taller, heavier, and also wearing armor!

Not only that, he later tries and partly succeeds in fighting heavily armored soldiers (who are admittedly aiming to capture him and kill Alfonse) with Alfonse 'draped across his back like a sack of potatoes'. Talk about determination, adrenaline, and/or the simple principle of 'small but mighty'!

Maybe that's why Alfonse was saying "I don't think that's wise" at the start there before he quickly found other rationale besides 'you sure you can give a piggyback without my feet dragging along the ground the whole way?'

My case rests, Your Honor: they unintentionally made part four of Alfonse's personal story a lot funnier to envision by publishing an art book 2 years after he first existed in Dragalia Lost!

[shinjisdone]

Hello! I saw that your request is open so if you don't mind could i ask for a Jack or Ace's version of Fem!MC and friends?👉👈 I love the one you did for Deuce, I have a soft spot for the first years boys 🥺Thanks in advance 🖤

Oh, Deuce is great and deserves the love! You have good taste.

Gonna choose Ace for thsi since his suitor suit and galla outfit SCREAM for an female!mc and friends version!

Gonna go with three cards/events or else its gonna get too long ;;

Female!MC and Friends - Ace Trappola

Ace. Trappola. Sigh.

This guy is...surely...certainly...something, alright.

The way he speaks, the way he behaves, the one-of-a-kind smirk he wears...it's all just "Ace".

You knew that from day 1 when he teased you relentlessly and even got you and Deuce in trouble. Your prediction that he would keep getting himself and you in trouble still rings true.

Although, you cannot deny that he...seems to have grown fonder of you in a way.

When He...Proposes To A Ghost?!

Oh no. This is too funny.

Quite the predicament Idia (and your entire dorm) has gotten into but you never thought you'd see the day where Ace - ACE - would...dress up in a suit with slick hair and...a ring in his palm.

You try not to laugh, really, really hard - you really, really try not to but...just LOOK AT HIM!

Actually, laugh to your heart's content cuz this guy would have done the same if you were in his shoes. Aaaand for all the other things he'd tease you for in the future.

Yeah, yeah...go ahead and get yer sides sore, you'll see that Ace will sweep that egotistical princess off her feet!

...Even if she doesn't have those anymore.

Besids, what's there to laugh about? Can't you see how he dolled up to be the 'perfect, ideal prince'?

In fact, with a sneaky, toothy grin, Ace is sure that he already made you fall for him right then and there when you saw him in this get-up! Go on, admit it, it's okay. It's like love at first sight...he just needed to look his best for you first!

If you brush him off and say, hah, 'in your dreams', then prepare to have him hang on your shoulder until he has to go and steal the heart of the bride (which he is sooo confident in). Ace will smirk and cackle, poke and provoke you until you just HAVE to admit how wonderfully good-looking he is right now! Oh man, you are just brimming with jeaously that you aren't the one proposed to by Ace, right~? Right~? C'moooon, just admit it!

He'll swing by like a hero, hold your hand and pretend to kiss your knuckles and whisper these stupid, corny lines he read in a manga once - and IF YOU DO BLUSH AND FLUSTER (DO NOT!) YOU CAN BET YOUR LIFE SAVINGS THAT ACE WILL SNAP FROM FAIRY TALE PRINCE TO BAFFONERY PEASANT AND LAUGH AT YOUR FACE

Did you just reaaaally fall for that?! OMG OMG how come he never noticed that you get all flustered like that so easily????

New weakness aquired.

Ace will exploit it.

However, if you play along, you will certainly make HIM blush. What the...??? H-hey, that was just a joke...don't you know we are actually fake proposing here? H-haha...weirdo.

And if you pretend to be Eliza for practice and Ace has to act and say all those things to you? Uh, dude, I mean, l-like thanks for the help but...aren'tchu takin' this waaaay too seriously? Ace got this, you don't need to...you know...

Ace will at first tease you if you try to get he attention of the bride too by wearing a suit. But, well, he will definitely deny of having glanced at your direction if you catch him...

A dress, however? Blushes a bright red, red as his suit. Whoa, whoa, aren't you going a bit too far? Like, way too out for this? You should be wearin' something like that for your real wedding. Not a fake one...(that is to a ghost and not him...)

Anyone with eyes can tell that Eliza is not Ace's type, so if you ask him, he might need time to think. He'd glance at you from time to time and grows a bit nervous under your gaze...

He'd give you an vague answer.

When He Impresses Fairies...

Ugh, seriously? Does he have to make a show for some selfish fairies while wearing this?

Well, at least you are here to join him in the humiliation. Shared pain is...uh, double the gain?

Whatever, Ace can pull this off with your aid. In fact, he might feel more motivated with you by his side, especially if he sees you as another 'audience memeber'.

You are one of his biggest fans when it comes to his magic tricks anyway, right? So having a familiar face here in this show eases him.

These white robes though...as annoying and odd as they might seem, they kinda make you two look like a magic duo! Not bad! And hey, when he looks at them a second time, they ain't soooo ugly anyway...

Well, they certainly look good on you...

The flowers are the confetti on top. Kinda cute to see these butterflies flutter all over yer head. Just don't let them nestle in your hair!

Actually, as dumb as this is, you two CAN act like a magic duo! He is The Great Trappola (roll the r) and you...! Eh, his assistant. Any great magician needs an loyal assisant!

Not like you can do magic anyway, hehe...

Be amazed at his awesome tricks and praise them with jazz hands! Just make him look good.

Y'know, Ace wasn't sure why the clothes were this royal white anyway...but now that he thinks about it, with the flowers and accessories...you kinda look like a fairy. A non-palm-sized fairy! Haha, maybe that'd be the kind of stuff they'd wear if they were as big as you and him...

Heh, you could maybe even be their fairy princess! Or their fairy queen! Go on, tell 'em off and have you two be excused~ OOh, go tell them to serve you two and give extra special attention to the magician guy!

...Oh! H-hey, don't get this the wrong way. Dummy, it's not like you got some ethereal, fey-like beauty about'cha or somethin'...hey, don't laugh! Be glad that The Great Trappola (roll the r) compliments you!

When He Is Stranded At an Island...

Omg, for real, he and everyone else is stranded on this lonely, beautiful, tropical beach whatever shall they do - SIKE THIS IS THE BEST IT JUST MEANS EARLY SUMMER VACATIONS!!!

Are you kidding him? He can have earlier summer vacations on a beach with (almost) no one to bother and berate him?! (Aside from Riddle). This is the best!

Screw learning. No matter how his grades are, he deserves this!

Will definitely take it easy the minute he lands there. Might even berate you to NOT take this seriousy and just relax with him~ The upper classmen will take care of this~

Ace is gonna take advantage of this and drag you to any relaxing activity that there is. Swimming, collecting shells, building sandcastles, cracking coconuts open...

This is a one-in-a-lifetime chance! He ain't gonna miss this!

Realy likes his outfit and will compliment yours too! Dressed like this, how can you not just take a few vacation days?

Kinda wants you two to match? Not in a cute couple way but more like a 'we-are-so-rich-and-the-bosses-here-look-at-us-match-with-our-superiourity' kinda way.

In fact, this could a way to make amends for the winter vacations last time. You know, with *whispers* Jamil-senpai's overblot? yeah, that.

Ace may not be able to show you around his hometown but he can help you have a good time here! Just follow his lead!

He is surprisingly very attentive here. Making sure you are okay and have fun at all times...it's nice.

He'll make things into competitions like collecting the prettiest sea shell or building sandcastles together. Ace will like swimming together the most though.

Jokingly taking his shirt off and flexing but if you were to do the same thing or wear something more skin-revealing, he'll shut up quick. C'mon Ace, get it together...this isn't the frist time you've seen a girl in a swimsuit...or swimear in general...but...you aren't just some random girl...

He'll get it together, don't worry. It just...takes time.