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itawonka-creates · 5 years

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Seabourne Burnouts: Part 10 - No Longer Adrift

Maribat! On Deck AU

Thank you @particularlygeeky and @imfreakingmagical for beta reading and @particularlygeeky for chapter name idea!

Start [Here] [Part 9] [Part 11]

Bruce was getting more and more frustrated as the days passed. The surveillance videos from the boat and from the jail didn’t give him anything to work with. He passed through each video, frame by frame, countless times. He watched as the pirates seemed to materialize out of nowhere, there was no other ship passing, they were in the middle of the ocean and were suddenly being invaded.

He rubbed his eyes, watching the oddly similar henchmen rampage through the halls. They didn’t even look to be looking for something like the gunman said, they were just going through the ship causing chaos. He slammed his fist on the table re-watching the pirates in the jail cells suddenly disappear without a trace, leaving behind two young boys. One was injured in his leg, shot. He slowed it down and watched as the camera seemed to glitch and show a purple-black screen before the camera came back into focus and everyone was gone.

Bruce was running through the list of known villains in his head. The gunman said joker was a part of this, didn’t he? He mumbled to himself, “Is Scarecrow a part of this?” He shook his head, “No. No. He messes with minds, not cameras.” He let out an exasperated sigh before sitting back down in his chair. He rubbed his temples and groaned, “None of my theories make any sense, all the villains are in Gotham. They wouldn’t come all the way to Europe to rob me. It would be easier just to raid the manor while it was empty.” He ran his fingers through his hair, “None of them are that stupid.” He thought for a moment before laughing to himself, “Okay, maybe Harley.”

“So are you gonna keep talking to yourself in the dark or are you going to actually join us on this cruise?” He quickly turned to see Tim in the doorway.

Bruce allowed his eyes to adjust to the hallway lights and pinched his nose, “Tim, don’t do that.”

“When was the last time you slept?”

Bruce rolled his eyes and smirked, “Isn’t this conversation usually the other way around?”

“Bruce I’m serious. We haven’t seen you in days.” Tim narrowed his eyes, looking at the footage on the screen, “Oh, that’s what you’ve been up to.”

Bruce closed the footage and turned off the computer, “Barbara and I have been looking at this footage forwards, backwards, frame by frame.”

“And?”

Bruce looked disheartened and bitter, “Nothing. They just disappeared. No one saw anything, no residents ever reported anything, nothing. They vanished.” He shook his head, “Usually they leave a clue or lead or something I can work with. This time? Nothing. I’ve checked back in with Gotham and no one has heard anything about a job to overtake a ship. All the villains are accounted for too.”

Tim hummed, “But the one guy had Joker’s laughing gas.”

“I know.” Bruce stood up and stretched out his back until he heard a crack, “What day is it?”

“Bruce, seriously?” Bruce looked at Tim with a very serious expression and Tim rolled his eyes, “It’s Wednesday.”

Bruce’s eyes widened slightly, “I’ve been down here for over a week?”

“Apparently.” Tim went over to Bruce’s side and looked over his mentor, “I swear, Alfred would’ve never let this happen.” Tim straightened out some of his clothes and Bruce yawned, finally letting the exhaustion hit him. Tim sighed, “Have you been keeping up with everything?”

“I know about the Akuma attacks if that’s what you’re asking.”

“No, I meant with your son.” Bruce raised an eyebrow at Tim and Tim just smirked, “Come on, you’ll want to see this.” Tim opened the door and motioned for Bruce to follow him, “Besides, you need to go back to your room. Seriously, you need to bathe.”

Bruce rolled his eyes and walked out into the hallway, letting Tim lead the way as they walked out of their little maze below deck up to the higher floors. Tim continued up until they were walking towards a balcony overlooking the main deck, Jason and Adrien already there. Jason turned back and grinned, “He’s alive! Who knew?”

Adrien turned around and smiled, “Nice to see you again, sir.”

“Bruce is fine, Adrien.”

Adrien smiled and nodded before turning his attention back over the balcony. Jason led Bruce over to the balcony and pointed at two figures standing closely together by the railings. “What am I looking at here?”

“That, my dear Bruce, is your blood son actually bonding with someone.” Jason grinned and did everything in his power to not burst out laughing at Bruce’s shocked expression. The bags under his eyes only made the look more exaggerated, making it even harder not to laugh.

“That’s not Damian.”

Adrien snickered, “It is and that there next to him is our little Marinette.” He sighed and leaned against the rails, “They’ve gotten very close.”

Tim let out a small ‘Ha!’ before turning back to Bruce, “We found out they do this practically every night after they’ve visited the captain and think everybody else has gone to sleep. They don’t do anything but talk, sometimes they lean on each other, but it’s still cute to see.”

“I’m more so surprised you three haven’t interrupted them.” Bruce turned to see Jason and Tim look slightly offended before the two shrugged and nodded, knowing damn well Bruce was right. “So why aren’t you guys crashing the party?”

“Because I won’t let them.” Bruce turned to see Alya, Nino, and Dick walking up the hallway. All of them were in pajamas and looked amused. “I refuse to let your sons ruin this for my best friend.” She nudged Dick forward, “Just caught this one trying to interrupt.”

“I just wanted to know what they were talking about!” Dick smiled nervously under Bruce’s tired glare before the old bat turned his attention back over the balcony. Dick relaxed and looked at the couple, “You know Damian is doing a lot better.”

“Is he now?”

“Alya, can you show him the photos?” Alya chuckled before handing Bruce her phone. Bruce scrolled through the feed before landing on a few photos. It was mainly of the group of classmates, but Damian was one of them. To a stranger, you’d think it was just a photo of friends. They all looked like they were having fun, even in the photos where some were squabbling with each other or where Damian looked like he was in the middle of scolding someone, and it looked natural. To Bruce, it was like looking at a different child altogether. He found a photo of the three boys holding bags from the day they first docked and smiled. “He looks so normal. It’s crazy, right?”

Bruce nodded and handed the phone back to Alya, “Make sure I get a copy of all those photos.”

Alya smirked, “Only if I get my interview, Bats?”

Bruce tense and Tim jumped in, “She thinks you’re Batman. Don’t humor her.”

Alya glared at Tim, “You’re just mad because I have way more leads than you do.”

Bruce blinked and turned to Tim, “Leads on what?”

Nino snickered, “He thinks Marinette is Ladybug.”

Bruce looked back at the girl next to Damian, “Is she?”

“She has to be. No one is that badass without some kind of history of crime-fighting.” Jason turned to Bruce and shrugged, “Plus, she took that night of the raid. She came up with a plan on the spot and, most importantly, bossed you around.” Jason watched as the gears in Bruce’s head begin to turn and smiled, “I’m telling you, she’s Ladybug.”

Adrien rolled his eyes, “Uh-huh. And I’m Carapace.”

“Who?”

“The turtle one.” Tim frowned and turned back to Alya, “Hey, where’s Chloe?”

“She said she needed to catch up on her beauty rest tonight.” Alya walked up to the railing of the balcony and pointed the phone at the couple below, “It’s fine. She’s not missing much.”

Bruce took a step back and looked over the group. He didn’t realize how close the Françoise Dupont kids have gotten with his own. If he were to take a picture, nothing would seem out of place. The group looked so comfortable with each other. It was jarring, but not bad by any means.

Dick turned back to the group, “Alright. Enough spying. Let’s leave them be.”

“You’re just bored.”

“Yes, I am.” Dick began herding the group away from their vantage point and laughed, “It’s late. Let’s go.”

Bruce watched as the rest of the group groaned, but complied with the eldest. He hung back and walked next to Dick, “What have I missed?”

Dick chuckled, “You want to adopt five more kids?”

Jason shouted over his shoulder, “At least can we adopt Marinette?” The kids shook their heads and laughed and Bruce realized it was part of an inside joke.

Bruce looked surprised, “You’re all very close aren’t you?”

Nino turned back to Bruce and smiled, “Your kids are great company, my dude. Seriously.”

Adrien snorted, “You sound like a parent or something. ‘Oh, your kids are great!’” Adrien turned to Bruce and grinned, “He’s right though. This is the most fun any of us have had in who knows how long.”

Bruce frowned, “Really?”

Alya stretched and nodded, “Hardly any Akuma attacks, new friends, new theory, and I see my girl find romance? Best. Vacation. Ever.”

Tim rolled his eyes, “You’re theory doesn’t stand.”

“You’ve seen the evidence I gathered.”

“All substantial.”

“So is yours.”

Bruce watched in amusement at the two glared at each other, both determined to out investigate each other. It was rare Tim found someone to compete with, but he seemed to have fun. Alya reminded him of Tim when he first came into their lives; spunky, smart, stubborn, and fired up. “I’m Batman, huh?”

Alya nodded, “I’ll prove it. I know I can. Every bone in my body is telling me I’m right.”

Jason laughed, “You sure you aren’t constipated?”

Alya blushed and pushed Jason playfully, “No!”

The group laughed at the antics and Bruce turned to his oldest, “So what’s happening with those two? Any progress?”

“You mean Damian and Marinette? They’re inseparable.” Dick chuckled, “It’s actually kind of cute. They hang onto each other, but I don’t think they realize it. The way they bicker with each other is hilarious to watch, too. It’s like an old married couple.”

Alya laughed, “Plus, she’s the only one who can calm him down if he starts to get too annoyed.”

“It is getting harder for him to say no to her.” Adrien hummed in approval, “He gives Marinette a run for her money. He’ll randomly say things that just make her light up and embarrass her, it’s kind of great.”

Jason nodded, “Oh my god, what did he say yesterday?”

Nino thought for a moment, “Wasn’t it something like ‘I’m not leaving her’ or something?”

Tim laughed, “Oh yeah, the guide for the last city we visited wanted to separate them! He got so mad and wouldn’t leave her alone.”

Bruce couldn’t believe most of the stuff he was hearing, “This is Damian? My son Damian? Damian used to be al Ghul now Wayne, that Damian?” The group all nodded and Bruce scoffed, “She’s magic isn’t she?”

“If we’re right, she’s magic.” The group came to a split in the hallway and the group went their separate ways. The family waved goodnight to the classmates before walking through the halls towards their own rooms. Tim broke the silence, “So Bruce still can’t find anything on the videos.”

“Really? Did Barbara-“

“She looked through them, yes.” Bruce pinched his nose, “We can’t figure it out. How does a whole crew of raiders just disappear?”

Jason frowned, “All I know is if I find the bastard that threw Marinette overboard, I’m killing him.” Bruce sent a warning look to Jason and Jason didn’t even flinch, “What? I’m serious. He could’ve killed her.”

“So you think killing him is the answer?”

“It’s an answer, one I’m going to enjoy a lot.”

Bruce sighed and stopped walking, making the other three pause as well, “None of this is making sense. They disappeared, Akumas have popped up in a few of the cities we’ve visited, what is going on?”

“Have you tried letting Alya watch the video?” The group turned to Dick who only shrugged, “Out of everyone in Paris, we got the one person who knows all things Miraculous and Ladybug. If you think it might be an Akuma, she’ll be the one to confirm or deny your theory.”

Tim groaned, “Then she’ll actually know he’s Batman. The girl might’ve been naïve when it came to Lila, but she’s not dumb.”

“That reminds me, what happened with her? That Rossi girl?”

“Still a liar, but at least now Marinette has her friends on her side.”

Bruce did not miss the small scowl Dick sent Tim, “What happened?”

Tim flinched and Dick nudged him to talk, “I may have snapped at Alya and completely outted Lila to her.”

“That’s a bad thing?”

“It is when you yell at her and her friends to prove a point instead of just protecting your friends.” Dick sighed, “You still can’t figure out why you were so mad?”

Tim groaned, “No, I can’t. All of a sudden I got so pissed and then next thing I knew I was shoving my phone in her face. Everyone was yelling. And then the migraines-“

“Migraines?”

Jason nodded and frowned, “Migraines. I’m pretty sure everyone on the ship had them.”

“Everyone except Marinette, Adrien, Damian, and Lila.” Dick hummed, “I don’t get it.”

Jason snickered, “It’s the power of love. Damian is so head over heels for Marinette he wouldn’t notice if he was having a migraine anyways.” Jason sighed, “Adrien probably gets them all the time from the flashing cameras at his photoshoots. I wouldn’t be surprised if he just wasn’t bothered or didn’t even notice it.”

“And Lila?”

“She’s just a bitch.”

Bruce turned to scold him, “Jason!”

Tim and Dick shrugged, “True.”

Bruce was about to say something to his sons before noticing Dick’s shirt, “Where did you get that?”

Dick looked down and smiled, “Marinette made it for me.” He did a quick spin, “Red and black and Nightwing themed. It’s perfect.”

Bruce’s expression deadpanned, “You’re really walking around like that while a junior reporter is actively investigating our family?”

Dick shrugged, “She’s investigating you, not me.” The four stopped in front of Bruce’s room and Dick looked over Bruce one last time, “Get some sleep. Me and Tim can look over the video again tomorrow. You need to rest.”

Bruce’s shoulders fell, but nodded. He knew they were right. He went into his room, locking the door behind him, and headed for the shower first. All the while, the two teens at the center of attention continued to talk against their spot on the railings.

“So let me get this straight, Dick was part of a circus?”

“It makes sense why he acts like a clown now, doesn’t it?” Marinette snorted and lightly hit Damian’s arm. Damian chuckled, “Don’t act like I’m the only one with weird people in my life. You know two famous singers.”

“Jagged and Clara don’t count, they’re family now.”

“Mine are family too and I still make fun of them.”

Marinette smirked, “I noticed.” She sighed and looked over the water, “Where are we landing next?”

“Well, it seems we’ll be in Portugal soon. I suspect we’re visiting Lisbon next.”

She nodded, “You think there’s going to be another Akuma attack?”

“I hope not.” Damian sighed leaned against the rails, “Who do you want to investigate next?”

“I don’t know.” Marinette looked over at Damian and looked back at the past week. After the second Akuma in Pontevedra, they decided that Hawkmoth had to be on the ship. The only problem was he wasn’t talking to any of the Akumas. They couldn’t figure out what he was trying to pull, but Damian figured he couldn’t be losing all of these corrupted butterflies. It had to be coming from somewhere and considering it was only happening in the cities they visited, Hawkmoth had to be on the boat. “Have you noticed the mood recently?”

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone’s been on edge.”

“Makes sense, there are Akumas on the loose.”

“No, no, no. Like everyone is upset. I get being paranoid because of an Akuma, Paris is like that all the time, but this is different. It’s like everyone’s worst emotions are being amplified.” She sighed, “Alix and Kim went into a full-blown argument over something, Alya wants to kill Lila-”

“Still don’t know why you won’t let her have a go at Lila.”

Marinette frowned and nudged him before continuing, “Tim snapped at us, the staff gets frustrated easily. It wasn’t like this in the beginning.”

Damian sighed and thought it over, “Tension is rising and everyone is stuck on this boat. You can’t run from your problems here, you have to deal with them.”

A sudden breeze made Marinette shiver and she glared at the water, “Too cold!”

“You’re yelling at the sea.”

“I know.” She stuck her tongue out at the ocean and, as if to respond, another gust of wind nearly froze the poor girl.

Damian laughed, “You’re having an argument with water and loosing.” She glared at him, shaking from the cold, and he just rolled his eyes. “Come on. You want to go to the den?”

Marinette’s eyes lit up and she nodded before scurrying off inside the hall, away from the wind. Damian shook his head and followed her, close behind. Marinette looked over her shoulder and laughed, “Wanna race, baby bird?”

“Let’s do this Bug.” The two smirked and suddenly started running full speed up the stairs and through the halls. Damian looked over at the girl, he was impressed she could keep up with him, unbeknownst to him she was thinking the same thing. The two locked eyes and started laughing as they continued to sprint through the ship. He admitted to himself he felt odd. Doing things with this girl and her friends, talking together, doing things as mundane as racing for no reason, it made him feel some kind of way. Nothing bad, just unusual. He wondered if this was how a normal kid was supposed to feel like playing with their friends. He refused to say it out loud, but he considered them friends despite knowing them for such a short amount of time.

Then there was Marinette. The nicknames started as a joke due to the theories being thrown around. Marinette decided if he kept calling her Ladybug then she should call him something. Without much thought, he told her to refer to him as Robin - Batman’s sidekick. He hoped she didn’t think too much of it and, unlike him, she didn’t pry the way he did if she was suspicious about something. Now, they had themed nicknames they’d say to each other in private, away from everyone in their own little world when they spent time together.

Marinette and Damian skid around a corner, but Marinette lost her footing and slammed into the wall. Damian came to a stop and ran back over to her. He helped her up and looked her over, “I’m fine.”

“Let me just check.” The two stood there, panting from the run, while Damian quickly examined her. “No bruises.”

“I’m telling you I’m fine. I’ve had worse falls than that.”

“Chloe’s right, you’re a walking accident waiting to happen.” Marinette pouted and Damian just smirked at her, leaning in, “What?”

She sighed, putting a finger on his nose and pushing him back, “You suck.” She felt an odd sense of deja vu after doing the gesture but didn’t pay any attention to it when she saw how his nose scrunched up. She giggled, “At least you’re cute.”

“I’m cute?” Now he was the one pouting, “I am not cute.”

She poked his nose, causing his nose to scrunch up again, “Cute.”

He shook his head, “You’re becoming worse than my brothers.”

“Yet you still want to hang out with me.”

“Yeah, because out of everyone you’re the least annoying.” She snorted and pushed him playfully, causing him to chuckle. “Come on, we’re close to the den.” She nodded and absent-mindedly grabbed his arm. He’s gotten used to her gestures, noticing very quickly she’s someone who likes to touch and be touched. He noticed that with everyone, with Alya they would link arms, same with Adrien and Nino. With Chloe they would at most hold hands as one dragged the other around stores and Marinette would hug Chloe when Chloe did something particularly good-natured. With his brothers, she’d give lots of hugs but never grab onto them. If she didn’t feel comfortable holding someone’s arm or hand, she’d unconsciously stand very close to them.

He wondered if it was a way for her to keep them close, which to him made sense after the isolation she felt before the ship. Still, she didn’t do things like this with his brothers. She didn’t grab their arms or hold their hands or lean on them the way she did with him. He’d never admit it, but he liked being the only one she’d do this with.

She leaned on him and he smiled softly as they made their way to the den. Marinette loved the den. It was the one place on the ship where she could work out her feelings without issue. No one went up there except the captain and Damian. The captain turned into somewhat of a familial role, like a grandfather or an old uncle, and she trusted him. She worried for the man, she could tell his mood has also gotten worse, however, he wasn’t mad or frustrated. Captain Staller was just extremely sad and gloomy without the influence of the two teens. She wondered if he was depressed and if Anne’s anniversary was coming up, then this behavior would make sense.

Then there was Damian. Damian became someone very close within the first few days of knowing each other. She knew there was something odd about him, even Adrien told her about his thoughts on the four brothers and their abilities, but he was honest. He allowed her to vent to him and helped her sort through her feelings and she would do the same for him. She sympathized with him, saddened by his past and lack of childhood at the hands of his mother. Bruce’s influence was clear to see, but she wanted to see him. Not the child molded to be the future head of the family, not the boy trying to live up to the legacy of his brothers or father, she wanted to know more about Damian. She could tell he wasn’t used to sharing or letting his walls down, making her feel special when he would around her.

They had a routine; change for bed, meet at the den, and then talk by the railings. They both knew they were being spied on half the time but were thankful for none of them interrupting their time together. Still, there was a small sense of uncertainty surrounding the two. While both wondered what their relationship was, neither wanted to ask and break the new bottle they found themselves in. It was safe, they were content, and they were together.

Damian pulled away from her side and opened the door for her. She walked in and noted how dark the room was, it made the moonlight seem that much brighter. She stopped Damian from turning on the lights and led him over to the big chairs that the two sank into. She laid down and placed her head on his lap, something they both just allowed to happen a few nights after the raid when her anxiety spiked. She was comforted by the company and he felt soothed by the warmth and the act of petting down her hair. The intimacy was something both lacked and this time together felt like they were making up for it. She sighed, “I think we should investigate Charles next.”

“Why him? I thought he was your friend.”

“He looked really out of sorts the next day and this week he’s just seemed out of it and paranoid. He would get jumpy if I accidentally snuck up on him.”

Damian hummed, “You think he’s Hawkmoth?”

“No, I just think he might know something. No one acts like that unless they’re hiding something.”

“Or hiding from someone.”

Marinette turned her head to look up at him, “You think he’s hiding from someone?”

“He could be, or maybe he’s worried about being akumatized.”

Marinette turned onto her back, looking up at him, “I don’t know. I don’t know how any of these people act. I’m grasping at straws at this point.”

Damian sighed, “Well, all of your classmates and Ms. Bustier have all been akumatized, so it can’t really be any of them. Unless we have another French passenger, we’ll have to look into everyone else.”

After a moment Marinette’s eyes widened and she suddenly sat up, almost knocking her head into Damian’s. “Another French passenger, of course!” She turned to Damian with a newfound spark, “Is there any way to get a list of the passengers? We’ll need a list of every French passenger outside the class.”

Damian smirked and sent out a text, “I’ll tell Drake to get that to me by tomorrow.”

“Tim?”

Damian sent out the text and locked his phone, “Drake is the best investigator out of the four of us. It could take us a bit to look through all the passengers, but he’ll take seconds and do a background check as well.” Damian let out a tired sigh, “Grayson’s the beloved oldest, Todd’s the strongest, Drake’s the smartest, and I’m-”

“You’re wonderful.” Marinette grabbed his head and turned it so she could look him in the eye, “Don’t compare yourself to your brothers.”

He rolled his eyes, “I was going to say I’m still the best out of the four.”

She relaxed and sighed, still not letting go of his face, “You really do have a superiority complex.” She squeezed his cheeks, earning a playful glare.

“You going to let go?”

“No.” She squeezed his cheeks one last time before letting go, “Okay now I’m good.”

Damian snorted, “You remind me of my best friend Jon.”

Marinette sat up straight with peaked curiosity, “You just called someone friend. Best friend. Tell me more!” Marinette shook his shoulders, “Come on, tell me!”

Damian moved her hands away, “I won’t until you calm down.”

She stopped bouncing in her seat and frowned, “Can you really blame me?”

“No.” He scrolled through his phone before finding an old photo of them when he was 13 and Jon was 11. He handed it over to Marinette and she smiled.

She sat back down next to him, leaning on him, before saying, “You guys are so cute. So he’s a childhood friend?”

“Yeah, we’ve known each other for some time now.”

“Is he older than you?”

He let out an exasperated sigh, “Just because he’s taller doesn’t mean he’s older. Everyone thinks that.” He looked back at the photo and pointed, “I’m 13 there and he’s 11.”

She giggled, “You look like a baby.”

“I did not.”

“Babyface.”

“Marinette-”

“Cute baby face.”

He huffed and poked her side, making her squeak and jump away. He took the opportunity to grab his phone, “No.” She narrowed her eyes at him and he smirked.

“You’re too cocky.” She looked between him and the phone before lunging for it. “I want to see more photos!”

Damian leaned back and held his phone away, “Never.”

Marinette huffed and struggled against him, “Come on! Let me see more babyface photos!”

“No!” He sounded angry, but his face held a big smile as he watched the girl try to figure out a way to get the phone. “This is actually very entertaining.”

“Shut up.” She blew the bangs out of her face and sat back down. “Come on! You’ve never mentioned your friends before.”

“I’ve mentioned my team.”

“Yeah, but you’ve never once said ‘friend’. This is exciting!”

“Me and you have very different definitions of exciting.” She frowned before lunging at the phone again and managed to knock Damian over, “Marinette!”

“Let me see more Jon photos, then I’ll get off.”

Damian narrowed his eyes at her before flipping them over. Marinette let out a small “oof” before looking up at a very smug Damian. “You were saying?”

She huffed, “Killjoy.”

Damian raised an eyebrow at her, “Really? Maybe I should get Lila in here. I was just assaulted.”

She glared at him before pushing him off, “Don’t even joke about that.”

Her serious tone made him frown, “Too soon?”

“It’s always too soon with her.” She frowned and rubbed her temples, “Should I just let Tim do it? Should he just out her to everyone in my class?”

“I would love that because I want to see her face when he does it, but considering there’s a chance Hawkmoth may be on the ship I wouldn’t want to have her become an Akuma.” Damian shoulders fell, “I really don’t want you being the target of that.”

She sent him a small smile, “I can handle her.”

“As Ladybug, maybe. As Marinette, no. I’m not risking that.”

“Be careful, you sound worried.”

“I am worried.” Marinette turned to him and found that he was staring at her, “I don’t want you getting hurt. Especially not while we’re on this trip.”

“And after it’s over?” He didn’t answer and she sighed, “Damian-”

“I know.” He turned to her and he looked her over, trying to figure out their next steps. “First let’s figure out what’s happening on the ship.”

Her shoulders fell and nodded, “Yeah.” She scooted closer to him and leaned on him, “Damian?”

“Yeah?”

She bit her lip before finally asking, “Are you actually Robin?”

He thought for a moment before finally closing his eyes and breathing out a soft, “Yeah.”

She hummed, “Makes sense.” She turned to face him, “You’re right. I know you know, but I thought I should say it.”

Damian snorted, “Thanks. Good to know.” He took a deep breath before shaking his head, “No. Actually, that’s not good. Nothing about your situation is ‘good’.” Marinette nodded and nuzzled into his neck, “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. Find Hawkmoth, keep the city safe, fix everything.”

“It shouldn’t be your job to clean up the mess he makes.”

“What about you?” She frowned, “You don’t even have powers. You’re just human.”

“You’re human.”

“With magical powers, not the same.” She linked her arm with his and gave his bicep a comforting squeeze, “You shouldn’t be out there.”

“It’s not the same. I choose to go and fight, you were randomly given magic earrings and had to fight.”

She paused for a moment before admitting, “I almost wasn’t Ladybug.” Damian turned his head slightly in her direction and she took it as a sign to continue. “Stone Heart was the first Akuma we ever faced. He caused a lot of mayhem and I thought it was my fault for not stopping him the first time.” She let out a small bittersweet laugh, “I put the earrings in Alya’s bag.”

“What changed your mind?”

“Alya got hurt and Cat Noir was in trouble. I couldn’t stand there and do nothing. I had to help.” She sighed, “In a way, I chose it too.”

“That’s not fair. You have a good heart, of course you were going to save them, but to just put that responsibility on a kid?”

“What about you?”

Damian smiled bitterly as he thought back to when his mother dropped him off with a father who didn’t know he existed, “When my mother left me I was full of rage over those who killed my grandfather. I wanted revenge and nothing was going to stop me. Batman took me in after Nightwing stopped me from almost killing a man who had a connection to the murderer. I told him I wanted to help like Nightwing used to, as the new Robin, and he agreed.”

Marinette listened before pulling away, “You almost killed someone?”

Damian realized his slip and tensed before turning away from her, “Like I said, there’s a lot of stuff about me you won’t want to know.” He looked down at his lap and scowled, “I’m not a good person. I did a lot of bad things, even as Robin I’ve done really bad things.”

He didn’t want to look up, he figured she would run away like a sane person. He figured she wouldn’t want to talk to him anymore. “I didn’t know you before, but I can tell you’re a good person. Even if you did some bad things in the past, what matters is that you learn from them and be a better person now.” He wasn’t expecting that. She put her hand on his cheek and turned his head to her, “I think you’re a good person, Damian.” Damian didn’t respond outwardly until Marinette wrapped her arms around him. Her hug snapped him out of the initial shock and he wrapped his arms around her. This was only the second time they’ve hugged, the first time being when she first had a panic attack below deck, and he was grateful for it. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, “What’s going to happen now?”

Damian gave her a small squeeze, “I don’t know.”

He felt her hot breath against his skin as she let out a soft laugh, “I don’t know either.” She moved herself to be sitting in his lap, not releasing the hug. “I’m scared. What if the reason Hawkmoth is on this ship is that he knows Ladybug is on it? What if figured me out?”

“We don’t know that. We don’t know he’s on this ship.”

She rubbed her cheek against the fabric of his shirt, “Damian, these Akumas are coming from somewhere. They don’t wander this far out.”

“Are you sure? Has it ever happened before?”

“It has. The first time we brought Pegasus into the mix was because an Akuma made its way onto the train we were on. We were definitely outside of Hawkmoth’s range by that point.”

“Okay, so the option that he’s letting them wander isn’t impossible.” He knew it was farfetched, but he didn’t want her to think her identity was compromised. He didn’t want to think about a terrorist following her around and attacking her for some earrings, magic or otherwise. He could tell she was getting stuck inside her own head, upsetting thoughts taking over, and pulled out his phone. “You want to see more pictures of me and Jon.”

She quickly turned and looked at the phone, “Seriously?”

He chuckled, “Yeah.” She turned, back resting against his chest as he leaned back and they looked through the photos together. He pointed out different places they’d been, different pranks they’ve pulled on each other, their different pets, all the while making fun of his best friend. “He has this southern drawl sometimes and it’s so annoying.”

“He sounds fun.”

“He can be, but I’ll never tell him that. It’ll go to his head.”

She held his phone and made a confused face, “I’ll never get these fancy new phones.”

“You sound like a grandma.”

“Makes sense if everyone keeps calling us an old married couple.” She laughed, “You sound like an old angry grandpa.”

“I do not.”

“You are totally the type to yell at kids to get off your lawn.”

“I’ll take away the phone.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” She tapped on the screen and grumbled, “What the heck?”

Damian reached for the phone, “Hey, I can just-” All of a sudden the phone screen lit up, indicating a call had been placed and before either could do anything, a boy with messy hair and a tired look answered.

The boy yawned and rubbed his eyes, “Damian it’s like 6:30 am and its summer. There better be a goo-” The boy stopped talking and his eyes locked onto Marinette, who was still sitting on top of Damian, and he narrowed his eyes. “Damian, who’s this?”

Marinette awkwardly waved and Damian snatched the phone away, “Kent, if you tell anyone I’ll-”

“Oh my god.” Jon’s smile grew, “It’s late, it’s dark, and you’re with a girl! DAMIAN YOU ACTUALLY FOUND A GIRLFRIEND?”

Damian groaned and glared at the boy in the phone, “Say it louder why don’t you! You’ll wake up the entire city!” Damian was silently praying to whatever god he didn’t wake anyone. Jon decided to stay with the Titans while Damian was on the ship and Damian was grateful, but now he just wanted to wring the boy’s neck. “Now please don’t-”

Jon was already up and running through the tower, “Hold on! I’m hooking you up to the big screen!”

Damian sat up, nearly throwing Marinette off by accident, “You wouldn’t dare.” Suddenly the point of view changed from him looking at a phone to him looking up while a large living room came into view. Jon ran away, undoubtedly waking the others, “I’m hanging up.”

“Wait no! I wanna meet your friends!” Damian gave Marinette a pained look before giving in.

“Fine, but get up for a second so I can turn on the lights.” She quickly moved off and noticed a few people coming into view, “Oh! Hi!” The lights turned on, making her flinch as her eyes adjusted, and she smiled sheepishly at the other kids. “Damian’s told me about you guys. I wanted to meet his friends.”

She realized these kids weren’t normal, but then again neither was her. She figured they were probably other heroes and realized she was meeting his ‘team’. Damian sat back down on the couch and without thinking she took her place back on his lap to make sure they were both in the shot. Everyone looked stunned before the green one finally spoke up, “No way. Deep fake.”

Marinette tilted her head, confused, before turning to Damian, “Deep fake?”

“He doesn’t think you’re real.” He gently took the phone out of her hands, “Hey, Beast Boy, please tell me you haven’t made too much of a mess.”

“He said please, completely fake.”

Soon a woman with fire red hair entered the room, “What’s going on?” She looked up at the screen, “Oh! Damian?”

“That’s Kory, by the way.”

Marinette’s eyes lit up and she turned her attention to Kory, “Dick’s told me so much about you! You’re even prettier than I imagined!”

Kory looked confused but flattered. “I’m sorry, who are you?”

Jon smirked, “This is Damian’s girlfriend.”

The room stood still for a few seconds before everyone went up in arms. Damian groaned and pinched his nose before shouting, “Enough!” The team stopped and Damian gestured to the girl, “This is Marinette.”

Jaime narrowed his eyes at her, “I don’t trust this. Why the hell is she with you?”

Marinette made a face, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Raven shook her head, “She’s real, but I have to admit I was not expecting this.”

“No way! What the hell? You leave for like two weeks and when you finally decide to call you have a cute girl with you!” Garfield narrowed his eyes, “Why are you both in your pajamas?”

“Because it’s 12:30 am around here.”

Jon wiggled his eyebrows, “Why are you alone with a girl late at night? In a dark room no less.”

Marinette lit up bright red while Damian groaned, “I didn’t mean to call, idiot. I was showing her some old photos-”

“You keep photos of me? Aw, Damian, I knew you cared!”

Damian growled and felt his blood pressure spike, “Jon I swear-”

Marinette grabbed the phone back, “Hey what are your names? I know you’re Kory and you’re Jon, but what about the rest of you?”

“Jaime.”

“Raven.”

“Garfield.”

“Victor.” The team turned and Marinette watched a half robot half-human came into view, “I was wondering what the commotion was about.” Marinette didn’t react, but her eyes were trained on Victor. He rubbed the back of his neck, “If it’s too jarring-”

“You’re incredible! How does that even work? How do you function? Can you still eat? What do you do in the rain? Can you even be in the rain?” Marinette’s eyes lit up as she quickly rambled on more and more questions. Victor felt a wave of relief and chuckled when Damian grabbed the phone away from her. “Hey!”

“Sorry, she gets excited easily.”

Marinette pouted, “Come on, he’s half robot! How am I not supposed to be excited for that?!”

Jamie laughed, “She’s not what I expected you’d go for, but it works.”

“I know right!” Jon turned his attention back to Damian, “I’m assuming she knows-”

“She knows.”

“You actually told someone!” Garfield pinched himself, “Nope not a dream. Just really, really weird morning.”

Damian sighed and Marinette snorted, “Your friends are funny.”

Damian looked over at her and smiled, tired but happy to see her so excited. “Oh my god, he feels.”

“Why does everyone say that!?” Damian glared at Jon, “When I get back I’m going to-”

“So you are coming back! Marvelous!” Kory flew up to the camera and smiled, “We were worried there for a bit. You never contacted any of us after you left. We were starting to wonder if you left us.”

Damian’s lips pressed into a fine line, but before he could answer Marinette asked, “Is he a good hero?” Everyone looked surprised by the question and she shrugged, “I don’t know a lot about America’s heroes and if I asked him, he’d just inflate his own ego.”

“I would not!”

Her face deadpanned, “Yes you would.”

“I am the best Robin there is.”

“You literally just said your brothers-”

“I refuse to let that comment leave this room.”

She rolled her eyes, “You’re impossible.”

“You’re too excitable.”

“Rather be excitable than grumpy all the time.”

“I am not grumpy!”

“A-hem!” The two turned their attention back to the phone and noticed everyone watching them with an expression that was a mix of amusement and disbelief. Jon chuckled, “I’ve never seen anyone else argue with him. I’m the only one who can usually get away with doing that.”

Damian frowned, “Only because I can’t wring your neck when you get too annoying.”

“What’s stopping you from wringing her’s?” When Damian didn’t answer him, Jon’s smug smile only grew. “I’m telling my mom.”

“You are not telling Lois! It’s bad enough all of you met her!”

“Lois? Didn’t Tim mention her once?”

Damian nodded, “Yeah, but I’m surprised you remember that. You were knocked out in the arcade machine.”

“Not my fault none of you know how to whisper.”

Jon chuckled and turned to the team, “I can’t believe this. He actually found a girlfriend.”

Kory clapped her hands together, “We should celebrate when he gets back!”

“No! No celebration! She’s never going to the tower!”

“Why not?”

Damian turned to Marinette, “Because you’ll be back in Paris and I’ll be in Jump City.”

Marinette blinked and sighed, “Oh yeah, right.”

“Great now you upset her!” Jamie stepped up, “Hey, sweetheart, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on-”

“Don’t even think about it, Reyes.”

Raven sighed, “You’re all idiots.” Everyone turned to the girl who rolled her eyes, “Yes, this is exciting. Still, what if someone notices a normal girl coming into the tower and hanging out with us? With Robin? You all realize she’d be a target in a heartbeat.” The room fell silent and Marinette turned to Damian, only to notice his expression hardened. “Either we go to her as discreetly as possible or it’s not going to happen at all.” Raven turned her attention to the couple on screen, “If I were you Marinette I wouldn’t get too attached. You guys make a good match, but you just knowing our real names is going to get you into serious trouble if we aren’t careful. You don’t want to be sucked into this.”

Garfield frowned, “Raven, harsh.” He turned his attention to the screen and noticed the two thinking about what she said.

Jon tried to sound reassuring, “Hey! We can figure it out! I mean, I can tell you’ve been good for Damian.” That brought Marinette’s attention back to the boy and he smiled, “Yeah. When he left he was like a walking shell. Just talking to him now, I can tell he’s back to his old self and looks like he’s thriving over there. I can only guess it’s because of you.” Damian turned his attention back to his best friend and Jon sighed, “Look, Raven’s right. It could be dangerous, but it’s not unheard of! I mean, look at my parents! One’s a civilian!” He smiled encouragingly at the couple, “Damian, she’s good for you. I can tell. Marinette?”

She blinked and forced herself to respond, “Yes?”

“Do you want to stay with our little hot head over there? I know he’s a handful, but he’s worth it!”

Before Damian could say anything Marinette let out a firm, “Yes.”

Jon smiled, “Then I think you’ll be okay. If anything comes up, we’ll figure it out. We’re friends now too.” The group nodded and he waved, “You guys will be fine. Anyway, it’s getting late for you guys over there. Sleep. Think about it. Damian, check-in more often. We worry.” Damian gave a small nod, still reeling over the girl’s answer, and Jon nodded back. “Goodnight you guys.” The screen went black after Jon hung up and the two sat there in silence for a bit.

Damian spoke up first, “You meant that?”

Marinette gulped and nodded, “Yes.”

Damian thought for a moment and forced himself to ask, “Marinette, what are we?”

Marinette turned to face him, opening and closing her mouth, and answer struggling to come out before the door burst open. The two jumped and Marinette quickly left Damian’s lap as the two turned to the door. The captain stumbled in, seemingly unaware of the two teens inside the room. He stumbled to the bar and nearly fell over. The two teens shared a look of concern before walking up to him, “Captain Staller?” The captain didn’t respond and she turned him slowly to face her. She noted his glassy eyes and calm expression, “He sleepwalks?”

“I guess so.” Damian started to lead Captain Staller away from the bar and gently laid him down on the couch. The captain seemed to relax and fell right back to sleep on the cushions. Damian relaxed knowing that the captain was safe and asleep, “I think he’ll be okay now.” He turned back to Marinette who was staring at one of the bottles on the shelves, hugging herself and biting her lip. “Marinette?”

She jumped at the sound of his voice and turned to him, “What are we going to do?”

Damian’s brows furrowed, “What do you mean?”

“I’m a liability. You’re a liability. We’re liabilities to each other.” She shook her head, “I can’t go to Jump City because I could be used as leverage. You can’t come to Paris because you know who I am and if Hawkmoth akumatizes you we’ll have to fight.” Her nose turned pink and her eyes watered, “I didn’t even think about that, Damian. I have to think about these things. What was I thinking?” She ran her finger through her hair and started pacing, “I can’t believe I told you. I can’t believe I said that. I can’t believe I thought-”

“Thought what?”

She stopped and turned to him, “Damian, how would this work?”

Damian knew she knew he was worried about the same thing. He also knew she knew he didn’t want whatever this was to stop. “We don’t see each other as heroes. Just civilians.”

“That won’t matter if you get akumatized!” She sniffed and let out a shaky breath, “And you’re Damian Wayne! That alone is going to bring attention to me! Damian, I can’t let that happen! My advantage is that I’m a nobody! I can sneak away and no one suspects a thing! I can’t do that if there are cameramen waiting outside the bakery every day, waiting to get a picture of Damian Wayne’s girlfriend!”

Damian gulped, he agreed with her. He really wished he didn’t. So instead of arguing with some solid logic, he decided to do the next best thing. “My girlfriend, huh?”

She tensed up and shook her head, “I’m sorry, it slipped out and-”

“I thought we were already married.” She froze for a second, watching as he awkwardly stood there waiting for a reaction. She laughed, it started out small and full of disbelief and grew into a heartfelt laugh. Damian relaxed as she wiped her eyes, still laughing at his joke. “Marinette-”

“How is this going to work?” She sniffed and let out a small laugh, tears streaming down her face despite the smile on her face, “How will any of this work?”

Damian shrugged and ran his fingers through his hair, chuckling. “I don’t know.” He leaned against a table and felt himself be bombarded by the same emotions overwhelming Marinette. He sniffed and laughed, “I have no idea!” He wiped his nose on his sleeve and laughed more, “What is happening?”

“I don’t know!” She wiped her cheeks in vain and her body shook with another fit of laughter, “I don’t know!” She turned to Damian and ran to hug him, he immediately reciprocated this time and squeezed her. He picked her up and spun her around, making her laugh even more, before putting her down in the middle of the room. She sniffed, looking up at Damian, “Are we going crazy?”

“I have no idea.” Damian snorted, “I have no clue. This is out of my range of knowledge. None of this makes sense to me. You don’t make any sense to me!” He let out a shaky breath, “Every time I’m with you I feel out of character. I don’t know what I’m saying or doing half the time. It’s all impulse with you.” He sniffed and chuckled, “What the hell is wrong with us?”

Marinette thought for a moment, letting out a shaky breath of her own, “We’re teenagers, I don’t think we’re supposed to have all the answers.” She giggled, “Which is ironic because Ladybug is supposed to have all the answers.”

“And I’m supposed to know what to do in any situation. My training equipped me with the knowledge on how to deal with enemies of all kinds, superhuman or otherwise.” He laughed. “My training didn’t prepare me for you. I am an expert in martial arts, I can wield almost any kind of weapon, I’m a capable businessman, I have advanced engineering skills, I’m trained in forensics, acrobatics, criminology, disguise and escapology,” he paused and scoffed, “none of it prepared me for you.”

Marinette and Damian stood together, in the middle of the den, panting as they struggled to catch their breath from laughing, and just stared at each other. Marinette bit her lip, “I don’t know a lot about you.”

“That’s a good thing.”

“Will I ever know more about you?”

“Yes.”

Marinette sniffed and smiled at him before pulling him down. The kiss was awkward, neither really had any experience in any of this, but neither pulled away either. Despite the lack of skill, the two felt alive again. Every little cell felt electrified, any negative feels clouding their minds didn’t matter, and the world around them faded away the longer they stayed together.

“Well, I was wondering when you two would figure it out.” The two pulled away and looked at the couch to find Captain Staller stretching on the couch. He chuckled and scratched his beard, “Now, will either of you tell me why I’m here?”

Marinette hid her blushing face in her hands and Damian sighed before pulling away to help the man up, “You were sleep walking. You came in here and almost knocked over the alcohol at the bar.”

Staller looked confused, “I don’t sleepwalk.”

Damian shrugged, “Are you stressed?”

The captain thought for a moment before sighing, “My mood has taken a turn for the worse.”

Marinette turned to face the captain, worried expression on her face, “Anything we can do to help? We’re good listeners.”

Captain Staller smiled and shook his head, “No, you just continue to be yourself. I enjoy our visits. Although, I do think you would’ve fared better had I not interrupted tonight.”

Marinette’s eyes widened and her face flushed. Damian just rubbed the back of his neck before leading the captain outside. “Hey, you sure there isn’t anything my family could do?”

“Damian, you’re family has been nothing but good to me. If I ask for anything else, I’d be getting selfish.” The captain placed a hand on Damian’s shoulder, “You two were meant to cross paths, I can tell.” His voice got low as he held steady eye contact with the boy, “Don’t mess this up.”

Damian gulped and nodded, “I wouldn’t dare.”

“Good answer.” He patted Damian on the back and nodded at the couple in approval. “I’ll see you two soon. Goodnight.” The captain walked away and Damian closed the door, leaving the only two people in the room embarrassed.

Damian watched as Marinette grabbed a pillow and screamed into it before letting herself fall onto the couch. He walked over, confused, and she took the pillow off her face. She looked like she drank three cups of Tim’s expresso, vibrating with energy. “This is happening.”

“Yes.”

“We just kissed.”

“Uh-huh.”

“We know each other’s identities.”

“Marinette-”

“I’m dating Damian Wayne.” She sat up and threw the pillow at him, “Oh my god, I’m dating you. We’re dating. This is happening!” Damian caught the pillow easily and laughed at her, earning a short raspberry and a glare.

He sat down next to her, “Yes. Yes, it is.” He sighed and shook his head, “What the hell am I thinking?”

“You? What am I thinking? Tikki is going to be so mad-”

“Tikki?”

She bit her lip before sighing, “Tikki come out.” All of a sudden, a red blob flew around the room before stopping in front of his face. He blinked, wondering if he was hallucinating for a second as the being examined him. “Tikki, meet Damian. Damian, meet Tikki.”

“Hello?”

Tikki smiled softly at the boy before turning to Marinette, “This is against a lot of rules Marinette.”

She groaned, “I know.” She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed, “I trust him though.”

Tikki nodded before falling to rest on top of Marinette’s head. Damian just chuckled, “Honestly, not the weirdest thing I’ve ever come across.”

Marinette snorted, “That’s a new reaction.”

“I’m serious.” Damian smiled at Tikki, “When you live in Gotham and work under Batman you see a lot of stuff.”

Tikki flew around Damian’s head a few times before landing on his hair and nodding, “I approve of this one.”

Damian smiled, “That’s good right?”

Marinette closed her eyes and giggled, “Yes, yes it is.” She rubbed her eyes, “I’ve only known you for a little over a week and look at us.” She shook her head, “We’re crazy.”

“I mean we’re talking while a small red fairy thing watches over us. I’m pretty sure if we went to any hospital they’d say the same.”

Tikki giggled, “I like him.”

“I’m assuming you’re the reason Marinette orders so many sweets?”

“Smart too.” Tikki grinned at her chosen, “He’s a keeper.”

Marinette nodded, “I mean I’ll have to figure out a way erase your memory if I don’t.”

Damian raised an eyebrow at her, “Funny, I was thinking the same thing.” She nudged him and the two sighed, “Marinette?”

“Yeah?”

“How are we going to tell my brothers?”

Marinette’s eyes widened, “How are we going to tell Alya?” The two looked at each other, realizing the chaos they were about to unleash on this ship when they go public. Marinette groaned, “We’re going not going to live any of this down will we?”

“No, I don’t think so. Dick is a crazy romantic, Jason will tell everyone else in the family if Jon already hadn’t, and Tim will work with Alya to spread the news all over the internet.” He groaned and leaned back in the couch, let his head lull back, “Can we not tell them?”

“And risk death by reporter? No thank you. If Alya doesn’t kill me for hiding it, Chloe definitely will.” She giggled before leaning on him, head on his shoulder and arm draped around his torso. “But we don’t have to tell them right now.”

He wrapped his arm around her and relaxed, “No, I guess not.” He looked down at the girl who finally relaxed enough that she actually looked tired, “Hey you want to go to bed?”

“No.”

“Still a bad liar.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to sleep, I said I don’t want to go to bed.” She looked up at him, “I don’t want to leave.”

Damian groaned, “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Puppy dog eyes. You’re the only person to successfully use that against me.” He groaned and hung his head before he looked around the room. “Hold on.” He got up, turned off the lights, grabbed a blanket from one of the cupboards from a counter and draped it over her. He sat back down, arms open for her to lay next to him if she chose, and he glared. “Damn you.” She snorted and snuggled up next to him, his arms wrapped around her torso and her head on his chest. He could feel himself relax with her weight and body heat against him. She threw the covers over him before yawning.

Tikki watched as the two teens fell asleep together on the couch. She giggled softly before nestling on a pillow nearby, out of view from anyone walking in the door. She looked at the couple one last time before closing her eyes and smiling. Marinette was healing, as far as she could tell so was Damian, and she couldn’t be happier.

*******************************************************************************************

I’m waiting for the screams of the maribat community because it happened. It’s happening. And from here on out? Brace yourselves.

To those who want more Seabourne Burnouts content, @itawonka-creates is specifically dedicated to my writing (which is just this story rn) so you can just follow the blog and set it up to be notified just in case the tags do not work!

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353 notes · View notes

plasticbullet · 4 years

Note

BET YOU WON'T ANSWER THEM ALL

1: Full name

I've gotten creepy messages on here so I'm gonna keep that private lol

2: Age

3: 3 Fears

Abandonment, driving by semi-trucks, bugs

4: 3 things I love

Music, coffee, nature

5: 4 turn ons

Sense of humor, intelligence, height, big hands.. happy trails are sexy

6: 4 turn offs

If they're rude, judgy, closed-minded, or act fake

7: My best friend

Tammy

8: Sexual orientation

Straight

9: My best first date

I have no idea honestly. First dates are always weird

10: How tall am I

5′5″

11: What do I miss

Not having anxiety, traveling, when my boobs were bigger

12: What time was I born

11:30 pm

13: Favourite color

Yellow, green, blue

14: Do I have a crush

It’s more than a crush, but yes

15: Favourite quote

"This is cracking me out" - my kid

16: Favourite place

The forest, Havasupai, California

17: Favourite food

Just about anything Italian. Or with a lot of cheese

18: Do I use sarcasm

Pretty often

19: What am I listening to right now

Wind blowing through the window. It’s like 65 degrees here I love it

20: First thing I notice in a new person

If they seem nice or not

21: Shoe size

7 or 7.5 depending on the shoes

22: Eye color

Blue

23: Hair color

Reddish dark blonde

24: Favourite style of clothing

Grungy but hot

25: Ever done a prank call? Yes

27: Meaning behind my URL

I’ve answered this a couple times before, I’m too lazy

28: Favourite movie

Peanut Butter Falcon

29: Favourite song

All the ones that make me feel things the most

30: Favourite band

A Day to Remember, Brand New

31: How I feel right now

Relaxed

32: Someone I love

My son

33: My current relationship status

In something

34: My relationship with my parents

They’re cool

35: Favourite holiday

Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing I have

Treble clef on the back of my neck, pierced ears

37: Tattoos and piercing I want

I’m good for now! Maybe more one day

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

I don’t even know, I’ve used this shit off and on since I was 16

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nope!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Yep

41: Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?

Nope

42: When did I last hold hands?

Held hands with my son today

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? Like 20 minutes

44: Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? Yes

45: Where am I right now? In my room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

Probably one of my friends lol

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

Loud unless I’m sleepyy

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? No

49: Am I excited for anything? 🎄🎄🎄

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

Yepp I think so

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

Sometimes if I don't want my kid to sense my stress. Or during boring conversations

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

Today

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

🤷🤷🤷

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

I don’t think so

55: What is something I disliked about today?

I was super sleepy, slept until some stressy dreams woke me up, and can't go back to sleep 🙃

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

That guy from My Octopus Teacher

57: What do I think about most?

People I love, things I have to do, and the randomest shit imaginable

58: What’s my strangest talent?

I barely have any normal talents

59: Do I have any strange phobias? No

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind it unless I feel cute

61: What was the last lie I told?

Something about Santa to my kid

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Depends!

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I feel like ghosts are possible, our energy could keep existing in some ways after our body dies who knows. Aliens exist for sure. Just not anywhere near our planet imo

64: Do I believe in magic? No

65: Do I believe in luck? I believe in good karma

66: What’s the weather like right now?

Kinda chilly/breezy but nice

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Read Fox in Socks to my kid

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? No

69: Do I have any nicknames? Kind of

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

One time a horse stepped on my foot and it was bruised for months lol

71: Do I spend money or save it? Both

72: Can I touch my nose with my tongue?

Noo! I just tried though hahah

73: Is there anything pink 10 feet from me?

A crayon

74: Favourite animal? Sloths but I love all animals

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Sleeping surprisingly

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

I can't think of anyone I hate enough to make a good joke out of this

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Colorado Symphony version of The Stable Song by Gregory Alan Isakov

78: How can you win my heart?

Good conversations, make me laugh, show me you care, show me good music, etc

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

Nice things, I don't know lol

80: What is my favorite word? Fuck

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

I ♥️ all the ones I follow

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

Realistically I would have a panic attack and say something stupid 😂

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not that I know of!

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Maybe the power to pause time so I could sleep or do whatever for however long I want without wasting any time. Or maybe the ability to teleport

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Idk I can't think of one

86: What is my current desktop picture?

It’s the default one, I don’t go on it very often lol

87: Had sex? Yes

88: Bought condoms? No the guys always did that

89: Gotten pregnant? Yes

90: Failed a class? No

91: Kissed a boy? Yes

92: Kissed a girl? Yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yes

94: Had a job? Yes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

Yepp I used to forget it all the time

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

No I'm not a pussy ass bitch

97: Had sex in public?

If you count in a parked car, yes

98: Played on a sports team? Yes

99: Smoked weed? Yes

100: Did drugs? A while ago

101: Smoked cigarettes? Yes, quit a while ago

102: Drank alcohol? Yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

Nope! I tried one time just for fucks and it did not last long

104: Been overweight? No

105: Been underweight? Yes

106: Been to a wedding? Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

Yes. Marathons and binge sessions

109: Been outside my home country? Yes, Mexico

110: Gotten my heart broken? Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes

112: Broken a bone? Nope

113: Cut myself? Yes

114: Been to prom? Yes

115: Been in an airplane? Lots of times

116: Fly by helicopter? No

117: What concerts have I been to?

Oh fuck I know I’ll leave some out. Kelly Clarkson (don’t judge me I was 12), All Time Low, Avenged Sevenfold, Papa Roach, Blink-182, Fall Out Boy, Flogging Molly, Jason Mraz, Ed Sheeran, Atreyu, Escape the Fate, went to Warped Tour a couple times in high school so a bunch more emo bands

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? No

119: Learned another language?

A decent amount of Spanish

120: Wore make up? Frequently

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Yes

122: Had oral sex? Yes

123: Dyed my hair? Yes

124: Voted in a presidential election? Yes

125: Rode in an ambulance? No those are expensive

126: Had a surgery?

Does getting my wisdom teeth removed count

127: Met someone famous?

Saw Alice Cooper at a Cheesecake Factory one time

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

Not stalked, more like checked up on lol

129: Peed outside? On camping trips

130: Been fishing? Yes

131: Helped with charity? Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? Probably!

133: Broken a mirror? No

134: What do I want for my birthday?

Christmas is coming first idk

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

I have one kid whose name I won’t be posting publicly, annnd I’m open to having another kid sometime in the future but not set on it. No names in mind for that lol

136: Was I named after anyone?

My parents are Catholic so they named me after St. Kieran

137: Do I like my handwriting? It’s alright idk

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

I liked my toy horses and barbies the most probably

139: Favourite TV Show?

Idk I have lots of favorites. I've probably rewatched The Office the most out of all of them tho

140: Where do I want to live when older?

Somewhere chill, surrounded by lots of nature. Arizona doesn’t have much of that lol

141: Play any musical instrument?

I can play the piano but it’s been a while

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

One on my knee from a car accident

143: Favourite pizza topping?

I love onions on my pizzaaaa

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

No, unless I watched a scary movie or something

145: Am I afraid of heights? No

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

Got caught sneaking out when I was 15. Countless other things I can’t remember

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Yep!

148: What I’m really bad at

Doing things on time, paying attention when I’m not interested in something

149: What my greatest achievements are

Having an amazing kid, got first prize in the science fair in 6th grade for gluing a fucking key finder mechanism to the back of a shoe charm (shoe finder), was on time to something once

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

Idkkk

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

Give a lot of it to some family, save a lot of it, get a new house, set aside a savings for my kid, buy a sloth or something

152: What do I like about myself

Fuck I don't know, I try my best hahah

153: My closest Tumblr friend

@spencerwithac

154: Something I fantasize about

Sex in public

155: Any question you’d like?

Nope this was plenty thank you

#🖕

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okay-j-hannah · 5 years

Text

My Life is a Mess Without You

Smosh : Prompt

Damien x Reader

Word Count: 1968

Warnings: Just the most classic Damien Haas fic scenario... but I made it ENTIRELY in his point of view

Request: “20 with Damien Haas” - @caswinchester2000

Prompt:

20. “You are the least subtle person I know. Your ‘I have a secret’ vibe is literally visible from the moon.”

A/N: Damien just didn’t get it - what could he have done that would make you ignore him for so long?

Damien sighed, moving his eyes from the TV to the phone in his hand, his fingers hovering over the keyboard.

He was completely disheveled – his hair unkempt and the blue streaks fading. He had reverted to only wearing old sweatshirts and faded jeans, his glasses worn more frequently as the task to order more contact lenses seemed daunting compared to other problems.

His house was incredibly untidy with plates stacked by the sink, movies and games littering the living room floor, and piles of miscellaneous garbage speckled every surface.

Even his cats had noticed the decline in activity as Damien remained more sedentary, normally retreating to the couch upon return from work.

The Smosh Family helped with what they could, also noticing (Y/N)’s avoidance. Damien could hardly manage to keep up with filming and script reads when all his focus was residing on her.

(Y/N) wasn’t talking to him. And it was wrecking him.

Pushing his glasses back in place, he scrolled through his unanswered text messages, a pain in his chest. It had been weeks since their last sincere conversation, a moment he had replayed in his mind over and over.

It sat at the forefront of his mind as if it was yesterday. Something was definitely wrong with (Y/N), that much he was sure of.

With their daily carpool to work together, she didn’t say a single word that day. She normally was running on slight caffeine adrenaline or singing at the top of her lungs to the morning radio.

Today? Absolutely nothing.

She just stared out the window, her arms folded very tightly across her chest. It was apparent that she hadn’t been getting her caffeine; her eyes were dark and heavy from the possible lack of sleep.

Damien even attempted at a conversation, “No new ‘Ian did this’ or ‘Monica said that’ this morning?” He had a smile on his lips even if concern was consuming his gaze, flickering from the road to her turned head.

She vaguely muttered a dull response, “Haven’t seen them. Been very busy.”

“You’ve been busy? Is that why you look so tired?”

Something clicked in her brain and she finally faced him, “Hm? Oh, my coffee maker sparked a few days ago – haven’t been able to get my morning fix.” She attempted at a makeshift smile, but Damien saw right through it.

Why in Heaven’s Above would she try to hide something from him? He hated it when she felt like she had to hide from him.

As soon as they parked in the Smosh Office lot, Damien turned to give his full attention to one of his best friends.

“What’s wrong?”

She seemed taken aback, “Nothing.” She tried the handle of the door, finding it continuously locked.

“Something is obviously wrong, and I don’t think you should bottle it up.” He was leaning towards her, almost hovering over the seat compartment between them.

“I told you, I’m busy and stressed and tired,” she sneaked a half-way smile, shrugging her shoulders. “I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

Damien raised a suspicious eyebrow, “What kind of stuff?”

She seemed strained between answering and jumping out of the vehicle, “Sh-Shouldn’t we get inside? We still have work today, you know?”

He sighed at the humor she was forcing through her teeth, “You’re worrying me, (Y/N).”

“And I’m telling you there’s no reason to be.” She met his gaze but swallowed hard. Was that a blush creeping onto her face?

“And I’m telling you that I know you better than you think. And I know that something is bothering you! You can trust me – I’m your friend.”

Her gaze immediately dropped from his face at that statement. Her hands were starting to fidget in her lap, “Well… there – there might be something.”

Damien bit the inside of his cheek, anticipation consuming his worrying thoughts, “I told you I knew it.”

She let a small laugh escape, “How do you always know?”

“You are the least subtle person I know. Your ‘I have a secret’ vibe is literally visible from the moon.”

“I – I might… there’s th-this boy. And I can’t s-stop thinking about him.”

He tried to have a relaxed reaction, his focus on her continuously fidgeting hands, “A guy? You have a crush on a guy? Do I know this guy?”

She resisted a smile, “Maybe. He’s a friend.”

“Hm.” He wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about this. Something pushed him to make a retort, that she didn’t need to like another boy because she already had one right there, “Is he a good guy?”

She nodded a little more enthusiastically than he liked, “He’s very sweet and very kind. He’s always a gentleman and always does whatever he can to make me smile.”

Damien found himself holding his breath, “Do you hang with him often? Like does he consider you guys friends?”

“Oh, yes,” she sighed, keeping her gaze away from Damien’s. “I see him every once in a while and we always have so much fun. We surprisingly have a lot in common – we both like filming, we both like reading and playing games, we even have similar views on less partying and more movie nights.”

“Sounds like a great guy,” Damien gave a close-lipped smile, he had to decide between this strange feeling of jealousy and his fierce friendship with (Y/N). “You should definitely go for it – I mean, if that’s what your dilemma is. If you can’t stop thinking about him maybe you should make your move.”

He chose to be her friend first.

“I don’t know,” she bit her bottom lip, “I don’t think it’d work out – I don’t think he sees me like that. I guess I make a better friend than anything else.”

Damien scoffed, catching his genuine reaction to her words. This caused her to whip her eyes to him, confused.

“What are you talking about? Any guy would be lucky to have you! The only reason he would ever turn you down is because he’s too blind to see the perfect package right in front of him. And if that ends up being true, then good riddance because you deserve someone who thinks about you just as much as you’re thinking about him.”

Damien found his hands flailing around slightly as his smooth conversation turned a little heated; but the expression on (Y/N)’s face softened him again.

“You really think that?”

He found her wide eyes staring at him with desperate confirmation, “Why would I ever think otherwise?”

But very quickly he realized that there was still something incredibly wrong. Ever since that conversation (Y/N) had made it a special mission of hers to completely dodge every advance Damien made.

Their usual friendly greeting with the crew? She was excusing herself for the bathroom.

The walk Damien made to see how her directing was going? Matt Raub said she asked to help with editing.

The spot he always saved for her in the meeting room? Neglected as she sat far from him.

Their frequent lunch breaks together? She was nowhere to be found.

The hours they spent recording Smosh Games? She ignored his smile, plastering on an expressionless face.

The special treat he got her to cheer her up? She found him coming towards her office, so she skidded off in the opposite direction.

It was a pattern that continued throughout the entire week, something Damien was fed up with. What could he have possibly done to drive one of his best friends away?

Now as he sat on the couch sulking and dismissively scratching behind Zelda’s ears, he kept his mind trained on (Y/N).

First a confession about a boy. Days of consistent avoidance. And now it was like she hadn’t ever existed.

Damien never realized how big of a part she played in his life, staring at these past text messages with more and more regret:

III AT&T LTE 5:58 PM 23% 🔋

Mon, Aug 5, 11:26 AM

“You felt like editing today?”

1:40 PM

“Hey, are you feeling okay?”

“Is it about that guy? 😉”

Tue, Aug 6, 10:14 AM

“Has your coffee maker been fixed yet?”

3:52 PM

“I was thinking we could hangout this weekend, you down? 😊”

6:51 PM

3 Missed Calls

“Are you ignoring me?”

Fri, Aug 9, 11:38 PM

“No, seriously, (Y/N). Are you ignoring me?”

“(Y/N), if Shayne and Mari put you up to a practical joke like this, it’s not funny anymore.”

12:22 PM

2 Missed Calls

“I couldn’t find you for lunch, so I left something on your desk. Your favorite. ❤”

Wed, Aug 14, 5:09 PM

“You seemed off in SG today. Did something happen?”

7:44 PM

“I applaud your efforts in pranking me, but can you please talk to me?”

Sat, Aug 17, 10:31 AM

2 Missed Calls

“(Y/N), where are you?”

1 Missed Call

2:15 PM

“I bought you a little something to cheer you up – I left it by your bag. Will you please tell me what’s wrong? I miss you.”

There was a knock at his door – something not uncommon recently. Courtney would usually bring over some Chinese take out or Wes would drop off an early release of a game Smosh received.

So Damien thought nothing of it as he reluctantly shuffled to the door, opening it carelessly.

And there was (Y/N) – wringing her hands and cautiously looking into his shocked gaze.

“Damien,” she muttered, her face blotchy and obviously raw from crying.

He didn’t even let her a second to explain before he ran over to sweep her into a bone-crushing hug. He wrapped his arms around her, lifting her easily off the ground and hiding his face into her shoulder.

“I thought… I didn’t think…”

She pulled away, heat rising to her face as she cast her eyes down, “I… I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it. So I just ran. But I – I’m trying something here.”

“(Y/N),” he felt his tired eyes burn, his glasses askew. “What did I do? Where have you been? I feel like I haven’t seen…”

“I’m in love with you.”

She had whispered it so quietly that he was afraid his ears didn’t hear correctly, “What?”

She swallowed hard, “I am utterly and completely in love with you Damien. And I didn’t know how to tell my best friend that I wanted to be more than just that with him. So I avoided you in hopes I’d stop getting so flustered being around you, but that only made it worse. And honestly, running away sounded like a pretty good idea until about ten minutes ago when Joven gave me an awesome pep talk – and I just…”

They stood there in silence for a few seconds, (Y/N) wringing her hands and Damien’s limp at his sides.

“This might have been the most pointless mental breakdown I’ve ever hand,” Damien finally muttered, replacing his shocked expression with a slight smile. “Did I really neglect getting more contacts because of secret feelings we have for each other?”

She didn’t seem to process what he said, “You know I’ve always liked your glass… wait – did you say…?”

“I’m in love with you too, (Y/N).” He grinned, taking a few steps towards her, “Please don’t you ever try to hide something like that from me again. I thought I’d just lost the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”

She let out an unexpected giggle, wiping at her eyes, “Greatest thing that ever happened to you?” She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair, bumping his glasses into place, “But you’re looking kinda rough.”

He reached up and grabbed her hand, holding it tightly in his, “Because there were four weeks and three days where I hadn’t talked to you once.”

“I had to bunk with Mari for a week just because I couldn’t stand not coming over here every other day,” she responded, laughing.

“We’re gonna have to change that.”

~~~

Buy Me a Coffee?

Tag List:

@wierdlywonderful

Remember to check out my tag list so you’re updated when a fic you like is posted on my blog! Tag List

#damein haas smosh #damien haas angst #damien haas x reader #damien haas fluff #damien haas #dames #damien haas x shy reader #damien haas x y/n #damien haas x you #smosh pit #smosh x reader #smosh fandom #smosh games #smosh

237 notes · View notes

messyworldfanfictions · 5 years

Link

Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale are your best friends, you all spend your time together and you can’t imagine living without them. You share everything except sex. But is it really what you want… ? Sometimes, It’s fantastic the way things pan out.

Pairing: Crowley x Aziraphale x Reader & Crowley x Aziraphale

Warnings: Smut. Rough sex. Threesome M/F/M. Gay sex.

Notes: Hi guys ! I’m very happy to show you this, it’s my first fanfiction so … Be gentle ;) ! All constructive criticism are welcome. If you see errors, please tell me, English is not my first language and I apologize for the possible mistakes :/ ! I know it’s a smut but I tried to put a bit of humor ^^. Tell me what you think in the comments and if you want the next chapter (smut only) and have fun ! :D

IMPORTANT : Here is the link of the dress you are going to wear in the fanfiction. If it can helps you to imagine it. ^^

——————————————————————————————-

Chapter 1: The game

Today is your birthday, as every year Crowley and Aziraphale have invited you to celebrate this moment in Crowley’s apartment. You’re so excited! You wait for this evening every year, it’s the best party of the year, you spend your night with the two men you love most, drink alcohol, listen to Aziraphale sermonize Crowley about the way he swears all the time. Play alcohol games to end up lying on the sofa with them by your side. Then you go home.

But sometimes you’d like to never go home and spend the night with them. Sleep with them. It’s hard to admit, but you want to feel their hands caressing your body while the alcohol warms your heart. You want to see them kissing on the mouth, wherever there’s a piece of skin. You have always imagined Crowley dominant, fiery and passionate and you have always imagined Aziraphale soft, patiente and attentive. Crowley is so sexy with his snake walk ready to pounce on his prey and Aziraphale is so charming with his all spruced up look… But you chase all the images out of your mind because they are YOUR BEST FRIENDS for god’s sake!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 6 PM Two hours before the party. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“If I don’t decide to prepare myself, I’m going to be late and Azie will grumble…” You thought, talking to yourself. And your naughty side came back “But maybe I’ll get a punishment… lying on Aziraphale’s thick and soft legs… ” no no no no “STOP IT Y/N” Were you really screaming at yourself ? … It was so hard for you to not think these naughty things about them, you are lucky enough to already know what they look like when they are practically naked because you sometimes help Aziraphale and Crowley choose their clothes when you do shopping. It really helps your overactive imagination even more.

After showering, it’s time to choose your clothes you’re going to wear. You always dress very sexy when you go to see them, because there’s a part of you that wants to seduce them. You like it when Crowley looks at you and tells you you’d be a perfect succubus. You like it even more when Aziraphale looks at you from head to toe in shock and then tells you that you could make him fall. But you know they tell you that to be nice, you know they’re not attracted to women. It’s like “gay friend’s compliments” for you, but you still like those compliments, you feel desired by them just for a moment.

You are wearing black underwear in lace, Crowley’s favorite color. You chose this tight black dress that enhances your shapes. At the front, it goes up to your neck and encircles it with a thin lace strap. The opening at the back of your dress shows your finely drawn back. You slide your fishnet tights along your legs and attach them to your suspenders. Aziraphale loves fishnet tights, he likes it on you and he likes wearing them too. You choose to wear your most beautiful red pumps, color of your passion for them.

Now it’s make-up time ! You opted for a pale skin, smoky black eyes and a pulpy red mouth.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 7.50 PM You are too early, you are waiting in front of the door. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You know Aziraphale hates late people so you left your house early. You patiently wait until it’s 8:00 in front of the door, when suddenly you hear through the door :

“Crowley, I don’t think that’s a good idea, I think a more common gift would be better. Can you imagine if she has a bad reaction ?!” Aziraphale’s voice was worried.

“Oh come on Azie, we both know it’s something she’s been wanting for a long time!”

“No no no no no, Crowley. I don’t know! I don’t know! That’s the problem. What if you’re wrong? What if she doesn’t want that… Gift ?!” Your ear glued to the door, you were starting to worry, why were they arguing about your gift? What gift?

“Angel, I’m a demon, she can’t hide from me what she wants deep down.” *Silence* “Ohwww fine ! If she doesn’t like it we can pretend it’s just a joke and…” *Knock Knock*. You haven’t seen the time passed, it’s 8.00 PM. Before Crowley finishes his sentence, you knock at the door. Their conversation was really starting to stress you out. You heard quick steps coming towards you before the door opened. Crowley was standing in front of you with a tense smile, you lean to the side to see that Aziraphale was sitting on the sofa with a false surprised look.

“Oh sweetheart, you’re in advance w-we were t-talking ab-about… uhm…” Aziraphale stuttering. “We were talking about how happy we were to see you, love! Come in, don’t just stand there!” Crowley interrupted him.

You came in with a smile on your face trying to forget what you had heard 10 minutes earlier.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 9 PM You just finished dinner. You’re going to sit on the sofa. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You are sitting next to Aziraphale on the sofa and Crowley is sitting on a chair in front of you, there is a table between you, where your glasses of red wine are. You were gossiping about the Archangel Gabriel when Crowley asked :

“Y/N sweetheart, have you found the man of your dreams? You told us about an "Alex”, how are things going with him?“ You didn’t expect this question, rather unusual from Crowley who thinks no man is good enough for you.

"Well, we met a few times but he told me he wasn’t ready to get into a relationship so… I just.. Gave up.” You said.

“What an asshole! He doesn’t know what he’s missing ! Men are so …” Aziraphale says angry. “Langage Azie !” you interrupted him with a mischievous smile. “Sorry sweetheart, what I’m trying to say is that you deserve better!” he responds kissing you on your forehead.

“Soooooo you haven’t had sex in a long time, right? Not too hard?” Said Crowley, out of nowhere.

Aziraphale’s reaction was not long in coming. “Crowley! That’s not a question you ask to a lady! What’s on your mind! »

"Oh, come on! She’s a big girl Azie, let her answer. So, Y/N ?” There you were, with your mouth open, shocked by the question Crowley had just asked you. Of course you talk about sex with them, but in general you have a lot of alcohol in your blood!

Laughing, you answer “I have to admit, it must have been a long time ago, but I’m fine, Crowley, don’t worry.”

“I don’t understand how a woman like you, so beautiful, elegant, smart, sexy, is in need of sex. You should have all men at your feet… It’s a crime to leave you like this…” Aziraphale gave Crowley a dark look. You don’t know what’s going on, but you feel the heat rising to your cheeks. Crowley’s words touch you deeply in your body. You don’t know what to say to what Crowley just said, you’re not going to thank him, no… But if he keeps talking to you like that you won’t be able to hold back your desire to thank him, on your knees.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 11 PM You feel the alcohol running through your body, you’re drunk. They are too. You are playing a drinking game, truth or dare. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It was your turn to ask Azie. “Annnngel, t-truth or dare ?”

“Uhmmm… Truth pleeeease!” he said with mocking eyes.

“Okay okay, uhmmm… Have you ever slept with a girl?” you ask smiling.

“Of course I have !” he claims.“I’m an Angel but I’m not perfect !” he whispers with a false exaggerated expression of discomfort.

“It’s your turn Crowley! Ask me !” Meanwhile, Crowley didn’t say anything, he was staring at you he was looking at a part of your body. you followed his gaze and he landed on your legs, your dress went up and was showing your suspenders. Embarrassed, you lowered your dress, your cheeks red. “Sorry about the view Crowley, I didn’t notice that…” “Oh, don’t be sorry, dear” He interrupts you. “The view was perfect, wasn’t it Aziraphale? "Aziraphale looked you in the eyes and then slowly descended towards your body. "Oh yes, perfect. "You wonder if you heard what they just said, you think you’re dreaming. What’s going on? Is it the alcohol or is it hot in this room? You take off your pumps, as if this scorching heat could be reduced with less clothes.

Crowley leans over to you and says, "Remember when I helped you with your car last time? »

"Y-yes, of course, w-why?” you answer shyly.

He looks at you for a few seconds before he talks. “You told me you owed me something, I want this thing to be a truth and a dare. »

So simple! "Ohw yes Crowley, that suits me! I I couldn’t help you fix your car.” You said giggling.

Crowley looked at Aziraphale with a naughty smile. “I start with the truth, Y/N, have you ever fantasized about me and Aziraphale ?” Your face is decomposing. How did He know? Red goes up your cheeks, you hesitate between answering honestly or getting up and running out of the apartment. If you confess your secret, maybe they won’t want to be friends with you anymore? You can tell the truth and pretend it was a joke tomorrow…

You rub your hands together nervously, “Actually, maybe sometimes…” Crowley interrupts you with a wave of his hand, more firmly he says, “Be a good girl, be honest. ». The silence in the room was embarrassing, you had to say something because it was getting suspicious, Aziraphale was looking at you with big eyes, waiting for your answer impatiently. "Y-yes…” you sigh coyly.

“Great” says Crowley softly, almost like a whisper. “Now, it’s dare time! I’m going to put some music and I want you to give us a sexy dance.”

He wasn’t serious, you can’t do that. Not in front of… Them. You look at Aziraphale with an interrogating look, but he says nothing and waits for your answer. Your eyes are glued to the ground, intimidated, “Crowley, uhm… i-i’ll n-not uhm… Give y-you a lap dance, i-i can’t do…”

“Oh no I’m not asking you that, i just want you to give us a sexy dance in front of us, and so we can watch. That’s all ” Crowley’s gaze was different, reptilian. You felt an animosity coming from him, it turned you on but it scared you too.

Aziraphale hastened to speak. “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to sweetheart. Huh, Crowley?” “Yes, of course,” Crowley replied without taking his eyes off you.

“O-Okay” you said.

Crowley snaps his fingers and the music *Beyonce - Naughty girl* starts. You are smiling now, it was just for fun! You knew it! You knew it! You know Crowley put that song on because he knows you love it, there’s nothing sexual about it! So you start dancing without restraint. You dance like they are not in the same room, you forget them. You move your hips while caressing your face, you put your hand through your hair. You wave your body, close your eyes and feel the music carry you away.

Minutes pass, dancing in this way awakens your sexual appetite, you start moaning while you dance when suddenly you feel strong hands grabbing your hips from behind. You open your eyes, Crowley is in front of you, his eyes darkened by desire, your mouths are so close, they could touch. He leans towards your neck and gives you wet kisses. You turn your head slightly, Aziraphale is against your butt, he presses your hips against his own, burying his nose in your hair. Crowley caresses your legs and lifts your dress slightly. “C-Crowley, A-Az… w-wait…”

It’s like a dream come true, but if it’s just a game for them, they have to stop. The heat rises in your body, you are burning inside, it hurts. Your panties are getting wet. Soon you won’t be able to control yourself. “You just have one word to say, and we stop. Say it love, if you don’t want our hands on your eager body, tell us to stop.” Husked Aziraphale in your ear encircling his arms around you, deliciously caressing your belly.

“N-no, it’s not t-that” you moan. “I-I just…” you stammer. But you just can’t speak anymore, Aziraphale’s hands have gone up to your breasts, he caresses them gently, your nipples harden when he touches them with his angel fingers. Crowley has slipped his hand under your dress, with a firm hand, he takes your chin between his fingers and moves your face up towards his. “Look at me, I want to see the pleasure corrupt your eyes.” While his other hand roughly caresses your private parts. It was exactly as you imagined it would be. Aziraphale so soft and Crowley so rough. So they are not playing a game…

Aziraphale puts his hands inside your dress to have better access to your breasts. Crowley has stopped touching you, he’s just looking at you in the eyes, always holding your chin firmly between his fingers, you want to touch him, you want to give him pleasure too. You can see he’s excited because of the erection in his pants. You can feel Aziraphale’s erection against your butt and it turns you on. You move your hands towards Crowley, to touch that part of his anatomy that you have so dreamed of. But before you can touch him, he slaps your hands away, his hand leaves your chin and comes into your hair. He grabs your hair firmly and pulls it a little. “Did I tell you, you could touch me? ” . “N-no” you said softly.

Crowley looks at Aziraphale mischievously over your shoulder and says, “I think she deserves a little punishment, what do you think, Angel?”

#crowley x aziraphale x reader #crowley x aziraphale #good omens smut #ineffable husbands #crowley Aziraphale smut #good omens fanfictions

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keremidi-2ra-upotreba · 4 years

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Soo.... This is the second time I wrote like me in this blog... Hey! @brokutoforever tagged me so I shall answer your questions. If you want to see the original question you need to go check out her blog. I'll just say them as a part of the answer. (also be ready for some bad jokes because my humour is half of my personality... Tho I am not mad lol) (Also I do cuss so I'm sorry)

1. One thing I'll never do again.... Hmmm. I don't do that much that is outside of my comfort zone so this is a really difficult question for me. This is going to sound so weird. Just go with it. I'll never not drink enough water. I was really stressed at school and shit and I didn't drink water for 3 days strait. Yes I know that you get most of your water through food but it is important to drink it also. I learned it the hard way. I felt so fatigued and I don't know why I didn't think I need to drink water. It was just awful. I won't go into detail why I finally decided to drink water because it wasn't pretty at all. 😅 Drink water people.

2. Something that always cheers me up when I think about it. So let's get the weebish answer out of the way: Sugawara. Like. I. LOVE. HIM. Idk what it is about him but every time I think about him it makes me happy. He is my ideal tipe of boy.

And the normal answer. My family and friends when they are happy. I would do anything for them to be happy and healthy so when I think about it I am the happiest in the world! Love them so much. ❤️❤️❤️

3. That is right up my alley. The best way to spend a rainy day would be

1. Just me, wrapped up in my blanket, with my phone (or laptop), food, and anime or a fanfiction. That's what the laptop is for. My eyes would hate me if I read on my phone. I wear glasses and have some really bad eyesight (-3.75 and - 5.50 for European people. Idk what it is for Americans. Sorry🥺). I don't want it to get worse.

2. At home with my friends, food and just doing stupid shit. It would be epic. 👌😂

4. Something I'll say I'll do but will never actually do it. Maybe going myself on a trip that is out of town. I was like "I'll go abroad and live and study there" but who am I kidding. I have anxiety going to school and it is just 30 mins away from my home. Recently tho I came clear and said that "I'll stay here in *my country*. I'll not be going anywhere lol"

5. The perfect day... It will be just me and my best friends (LY btw❤️) (Yes we are planning on doing that if the quarantine ends before summer) We will go out at like 4 am to wait for sunrise. We will just stay around and do whatever for the rest of the day and we will stay outside till like 23 (11 pm) and then maybe we will have a sleepover. It will be so much fun. 👌

6. If I had to choose one character it will ether be Chuuya from Bungou stray dogs or Hinata. Chuuya because he is awesome and his ability is really cool (He can control gravity for those who don't know) and Hinata because he can befriend people easily and he is very athletic. I need some of that to be honest.

7. What is the clumsyest thing I've done? Honestly... I don't remember. There are so many. Maybe the time I almost got my first major injury while going down some stairs. I couldn't walk properly for 2 weeks. Stairs are just no.

8. What makes me laugh the most is memes. Good memes. Just I love them. And also a runner up would be the shit me or my friends say. It's the best fucking thing in the world. And one I don't really want to admit but also dark humor. Oh God sometimes I question myself why I laugh at this stuff.

9. I do collect things. I collect manga. I don't have that much options here so I'll soon be going to the internet.

10. My "and it got worse story". So... I don't remember the details because I was so embarrassed. I tend to forget the details of negative things. I'm just built that way. What I remember tho - Me and my best friends went to the mall. One of them had to go home early so we walked her to the exit and said goodbye. Then I and my other friend went to Costa coffee. She got milk with honey and cinnamon or tea. I didn't get anything because I spent my money earlyer. So we are talking about fanfiction and stuff and I didn't realize I am talking too loud and everyone is hearing me talking about Fanfics. I got kind of embarrassed and said sorry. "And then it got worse". We continue talking and got to the topic of "Character x reader" fanfiction. And I was talking away and was like "I need to read one more of them '*my best friend's name* x reader' fa-" before I realized my face is as red as a tomato and I don't think I have apologized more to anyone in my entire life. The mishap here was because I was thinking of Kuroo, who is her favorite character, the fact that my friend's name also starts with a K and fatigue produced the thing that I am most embarrassed about for my *my age*-year-old-life. At least I wasn't taking loudly anymore. It may seem like not a big deal but I kind of stay 176363729191 meter away from embarrassing situations so I don't have to feel the feeling of embarrasment. It is one of the feelings I hate the most.

Now I guess I have to ask questions:

1. What is something that changed your life for the better?

2. Is there something you want to change about yourself?

3. If you could write an anime/ a manga what would it be about?

4. Do you play any sports?

5. What is something unforgettable to you? It could be good or bad?

6. What is the meaning of li- I mean, what would you like to learn the most?

7. Where would you like to travel to?

8. What do you look for in a person? Not just about a partner but a friend.

9. Can you describe yourself in 3 words?

10. What makes you happy?

So I have one person to tag:

@bakazaiii

But other than that you can just do it for yourself. If you want you can answer my question or the questions I answered. Also if you want you can tag me so I can see your answers. Now enough from me here is a pic because that is what this blog is about:

#me talking #haikyuu sugawara #sugawara koushi

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imonthinice · 3 years

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The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 4/?

Word Count: 1.2k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your name, A/N - Any name (your best friend’s name)

Hello Everyone! Happy Sunday/August 1st! I would just like to say right now that my suggestions are open, I have a few parts of this story in my queue, and I know the same plot can get boring really quickly, so if you want to submit plots, dialog prompts, HC request or AMA, feel free to <3

Warnings: Swearing, Dark humor, Mentions of Trauma, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Getting back onto Jason’s bike, he whispered to her,

“Do you want to go get dinner? I know it’s late, but I can take the night off and we can go drinking,” he said.

“We’re both underage though?” she questioned.

“It’s Gotham, Y/N, I know a guy.”

“Then why the hell not, just let me text my roommate and tell her I’m not coming home, and then we can get going,” she purred.

“Have at it.”

She began, Hey dude, sorry I can’t make it to dinner tonight, maybe invite your lover over, I’m going to be with Jason and get dinner and drinks.

A/N wrote back, You can just tell me if you’re going to have sex, Y/N.

She laughed and sent back a quick, Shut up x

“Alright, Jason, we are we headed?”

“To Hell,” he mused and she leant into him and placed her hands on his chest.

Riding back into the city from the outskirts was just as fun as riding out of the city, Y/N was enjoying herself fully, and had it not been a motorbike, she would have had her hands in the air like a little kid does when playing ‘airplane’ on the playground. It was like the streets exuded what she had always wanted from life.

And the pretty man driving her around at top speeds and seeming to take the long way just for her was definitely not forgotten. Autumn was close around the corner, so the clothes she was wearing were in no way made for the cold weather and wind hitting her. She looked cute, yes, but it was about time to throw the shorts and tank tops into the Summer wardrobe and pull out the Winter one.

Before she knew it, they were at a small hole-in-the-wall bakery in the middle of bustling Gotham City. And instantly bombarded by paparazzi. Jason grabbed Y/N’s hand and pulled her into the bakery. It was a small French Bakery. Not exactly dinner like he had said, but not exactly an unwelcomed surprise for her, either.

“A very healthy dinner here, Jason. Can’t believe this place is open this late.”

“I had to do what I had to do to get out of the flashing lights, Y/N, I’m sure you understand, and it’s not, but I know the owner and called in a favor.”

She questioned what he did to do that, but didn’t think much of it when the long-haired red-head greeted them. “I do, I’m just yanking your leg. Did I ever tell you I speak French by the way? Bilingual.”

“You are?” he questioned.

“Yes, my dad is a French immigrant.”

“You learn new things everyday. Fuck,” he said when the lights started getting really bad.

“Can I flip them off or do you think Bruce would hate me for it?”

“You care about what he has to think?”

“Don’t really want to ruin his image if we’re going to get serious, I have hopes,” she whispered.

“Go for it, I’ll order.”

And she went up to the window, letting them take a few pictures and scream about ‘What’s your name!’, ‘Can I have an interview?’, so she flipped them off. Held it there for a while before walking back to Jason. She saw Jason was watching her flip them off.

“Is it too early to say that was hot?” he whispered in her ear.

“It is welcomed,” she purred.

“You are an enigma, Y/N, truly, now let’s get out of here,” he grabbed her hand and ran to his bike with her in tow. Not before Y/N had flipped off the cameras again, though.

They got onto his bike and rode about as far as they could get from the paparazzi. When they pulled over for a few seconds, because Jason seemed to have hit a pipe and she checked her phone,

Hey, I’m gonna spend the night with my lover, you can bring Jason back home, since you keep FLIPPING OFF THE PAPARAZZI

She laughed and wrote back, Exhilarating, I know, thanks x

“Hey, we can go over to my place to get away from the pap, my roommate is with her boyfriend,” she said.

“Gladly, let’s get the fuck out of here before they notice us.”

-------------------------

They made it to her driveway.

“This is quite the house, did you buy it?”

“Renting with my roommate, you think I can afford this?” she joked

“Well maybe one day you’ll be able to,” he chuckled.

He grabbed her hand and actually walked her to her porch, where she fumbled with her keys and unlocked the door, revealing mediocrity.

“It’s not much, but it’s the people you share that ‘not much’ with that makes it home,” she said.

“I like it. It feels loved.”

“Is the Wayne Manor not loved?”

“It is, but it’s not a mismatch of furniture with blankets thrown on every couch, that’s for sure.”

“The more you know.” she said.

“You want to eat now?”

“I’d love to,” she whispered in his ear.

“Don’t expect sex or anything, Y/N,” he mocked.

“No no, you’re too classy to have sex before the first kiss, aren’t you?”

He laughed and pulled out the food. It was good food.

“Why did you choose criminal psychology over forensics, Y/N?” Jason started.

“I honestly don’t know, I just thought it would be more up my alley, dealing with the human brain when it’s not blown out seems a lot easier than dealing with the mess of a madman,” she huffed, “no murder in the family, if that's what you’re wondering. I just want to make a difference in this world, and I feel like I can do that through the minds of criminals,” she continued, “What about you, Jason? What drives you to fight crime the best way we can as civilians?” she finished.

“Well, my father is in prison with a life sentence-”

“Oh my, I’m so sorry, Jason,” she reached out and placed her hand on his.

“Don’t be, he is a bad man. Seems childish to describe him that way, but he’s in prison,” he paused, placing his other hand on her’s, “my mother died when I was younger, I became an orphan, she died of illness, I don’t remember which, but I helped her through her last years on this world,” he paused again.

“Take your time, if you want to delay the rest of the story you can,” she assured him.

“Heh,” he let out a weak laugh, “Bruce picked me up off of the streets and I met my brother, Dick. But I guess the whole, daddy’s-a-criminal fuels me in some way. Just to spite the man.” he finished.

“You didn’t have to tell me that.”

“I wanted to, it does still kind of affect me and if this becomes serious you should know.”

“Well I'm sure that even under that cracked exterior, your heart is still the same.”

“You sure about that one?”

“Positive.”

Positive became their favourite word. Jason put her name down as ‘Positive’ in this phone when she slicked off to the bathroom, shooting Dick a quick text,

When did you know to kiss Barbara?

Y/N did the same, when she slicked off to the bathroom to fix her hair she changed his name to ‘Positive’ and shot A/N a text,

How do you know when you truly like someone?

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd fluff #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood x fem!reader #red hood x y/n #red hood x you #red hood fluff #batfam #batfamily #batbros #dceu #dc #dcu

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sussexualtension · 5 years

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Thank you @murphyhatesme for the tag! These were fun! I loved reading your answers, too!

1. What’s something that you’d drop everything to do? Help a friend. It’s hard to resist a Steinway piano, too. Y’all piano players know what I’m talking about.

2. If you could pick anyone, who would you spend a sleepover with? Probably a fictional character or a historical figure. Lol Steve McGarrett? Naked Sleepover? 😂

3. What’s your favorite mobile game? Chess with Friends and a sort of Tetris game with blocks.

4. Do you have a crush right now? What are they like? I’m with my fiancé and I love him more every day than I thought I could ever love someone. I think I might have a crush on my book characters 😂

5. How do you define your own aesthetic? In business? Mean and unapproachable, because I’m terribly shy. I don’t like being approached. In my off time? Paint covered shorts and rainbow neon tie-dye. If I’m in my house, I don’t give a fuck.

6. What style do you wish you could pull off? The baggy French linen clothing that looks gorgeous on waifish people. Same with white cotton sundresses. I am the opposite of waifish and in a sundress, I just look uncomfortable and sweaty 😂

7. If you could pick any fantasy creature to be your pet, which would you pick? A niffler

8. What’s your favorite song at the moment? Imanbeck — Roses remix or Lana Del Rey — Old Money

9. What’s your favorite album at the moment? Just Lana Del Rey in general lol

10. What place makes you feel nostalgic? Where I live now is kind of out in the country and I love it. It reminds me of my family’s old rustic cabin on the lake in Wisconsin where I spent my summers as a child.

11. Do you like wearing makeup? I can’t stand it but I have rosacea and I cover it so that people don’t think I’m sick or overheating. I have very rosy cheeks.☺️

12. What’s the most magical place you’ve ever been to? Ireland 🇮🇪

13. Would you rather have wings or a mermaid tail? Wings!

14. What’s your favourite kind of pasta? Gnocchi with goat cheese and butternut squash

15. Do you identify with your star sign? I suppose so, but they’re all vague enough to relate to. . .

16. Do you like rollercoasters? Do you have a favorite one that you’ve been on? Yes! The Superman in Six Flags Atlanta

17. What’s your favorite emoji? 🤷🏻‍♀‍

18. Do you take a lot of selfies? I used to, but I realized how silly it is! Lately I can’t stand to have my picture taken. Even at holidays. It’s a Thing.

19. What’s your favorite part about yourself? My eyes, maybe

20. How many people have you kissed? Probably less than 15

21. Do you prefer movies or shows? I can’t stand theater. I wish I liked it 😫 I loooooove a good movie though!

22. What’s your favorite thing to doodle? Eyes

23. Have you said “I love you” to anyone in the past 24 hours? Yes

24. What’s your favorite book genre? Stealing this from Liz because it seems they are the same ☺️ Romance, paranormal, detective, or horror.

25. What’s something you find overrated? Going to bars. Overpriced alcohol and you need to coordinate a ride home. No thanks!

26. What’s your favorite meme right now? Flashbacks to the horrors of 2020 memes. In fifteen years, we’re gonna see a roll of Toilet Paper next to some Purell and like cry.

27. Do you have a favorite comedian? Nope. Not the biggest comedy fan. Aspies don’t get a lot of jokes.

28. Do you play video games? What’s your favorite? The sims. Omfg THE SIMS. (Sims 4) Especially for the home building and home décor. I download the pottery barn mods and go to fucking town.

29. Do people consider you funny? I hope so. I love laughing with my friends.

30. What features are you attracted to? Guys: Big and Tall and dark hair. Who fucking knows though. Scott Caan is none of those things and he’s fine as hell. Ladies: I prefer tall blondes. For romantic partners, intelligence and sense of humor are far more important. Appearance isn’t worth much when times get tough!

31. Do you prefer more muted colors or bright pastels? I wear dark colors and neutrals. I do love bright colors though.

32. Fairy lights or neon signs? I am actually a huge fan of neon signs. I have always wanted one for my house… Like one of those psychic reading signs with the crystal ball? Totally want one. They’re like a couple hundred bucks though.

33. Do you think your appearance matches your mind? I don’t think so. I have resting Bitch face. Lol. The struggle is real!

34. What skill are you most proud of for having? I can write okay lol

35. Do you have a sweet tooth? Unfortunately yes 😫 Gah. Cinnamon rolls are the ultimate treat.

36. Who inspires you? The authors that never quit. Stephen King for how damn fast he writes…

37. Are you more left brained or right brained? Both. I was an art major, but I am only one semester of science classes away from a bachelors degree in Chemistry. If I go into patent law, I will have to take those classes online from somewhere.

38. What’s your favorite word? According to one of my proof readers, it’s “huffing a sigh.” Lol. I had to switch up that phrase because it really did occur everywhere.

39. What’s your favorite card game? Not a big fan of games. Wish I was! I like chess.

40: Do you believe in fate? 100%

I tag @ariestaurus21, @bgharison, @cowandcalf, and @awesomejesakuthings and @justanother-girl for whenever or IF y’all have a spare moment. No pressure.

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spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia · 4 years

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SpongeGuy Reviews Every Disney Sitcom Ever!: Pair of Kings (1.1): “Return of the Kings”

I have a new least favorite Disney show!

Strap yourselves in folks, this is one heck of a ride!

Pair of Kings is a Disney XD sitcom from like 2010 I think? I don’t respect it enough to give it a year. This hellspawn of Satan’s BRO son who thinks that putting Chad on his resume is a surefire way to get a job is about two BRO’S: Brady (played by Jeremy from Phineas and Ferb, who has seen better shows clearly) and Boomer (I don’t know who plays him, but i sure as hell don’t care!). Brady Bunch and Ok Boomer are twins (They’re bi-racial, which is neat, but this kind of representation can only hurt) who learn that they are actually the sons of the king and queen of “Random Island so we can make Island Natives are weird jokes without offending anyone in particular” Island, and they are next in line for the throne, hence the title “Pair of fucking idiots” I MEAN “Pair of Kings”.

The rest of the show is as stupid as it sounds. Basically, there’s an island native named Mason who is Mr. Moseby from Suite Life, but if he was forced to be blinded to their idiocy, his daughter Mikayla who is every boring female lead in a show like this, you know, the one who is actually serious and doesn’t want to be with these bozo’s but the show will force her to like them because she TOTALLY doesn’t deserve anything better, and of course an evil CGI fish and the 12 year old boy who owns him and is trying to kill our leads, which according to the laugh track, means that Attempted Murder is fnuny. Huh.

Ok, i can only describe this show for so long before i die. Let’s get to the 45 MINUTE Pilot. Yes, I saw 45 minutes of this. And this is apparently the best we get of this show, since they put all their money into hooking us with this pilot.

Dear lord.

Summery:

Brady (Mitchel Musso) and Boomer (Doc Shaw) are twin teenagers living in Chicago with their aunt Nancy and uncle Bill, as their parents are deceased. Brady and Boomer are unaware that they are destined to become the next kings of an island nation known as Kinkow. After they are bullied by the toughest guys in their high school, Mason (Geno Segers) and a group of warriors from Kinkow come to bring them home. Brady and Boomer break the island's sacred ruby, causing Kinkow's volcano to erupt. Their cousin Lanny (Ryan Ochoa) tricks them into going to get another sacred ruby so they would die on the dark side of Kinkow, allowing him to become king. While they are on the dark side, Brady and Boomer are caught by a tribe called the Tarantula People, but they are protected by the bat medallion that the Tarantula People obey. Brady and Boomer obtain the sister ruby and save the kingdom. However, the chain that controlled the Tarantula People falls off Brady's neck.

COMEDY: 0 Out of 5

I doubt this shocks anyone. The comedy of Pair of Kings makes one miss the intelligent musings of a conservative Albatross with a hernia in the middle of Sunday Church. The jokes are like The Incredible’s Hulk’s Jock Strap after a s mile jog towards the savannah: They stink so bad I almost gave up all hope for humanity and started planning an escape route from the planet. All manner of wit and charm is sucked out like a single strand of spaghetti through a straw as thin as my patience for the leads, and every character quirk is so basic and cliche that the old people’s home rejected their application. If I were to write blindfolded and and upside down, with half my keyboard letters missing and a sadistic autocorrect feature installed onto my PC, I would still write something better than the humor of Pair of Kings, because then I would have written nothing at all, and nothing is at least nothing. Pair of Kings exists; may God have mercy on our souls.

...

So in short, it’s not funny. I smiled in pain maybe once at an Overprotective dad joke, and that’s about it.

CHARACTERS: 0 Out of 5

Imagine your typical Disney Channel sitcom. Now think of the worst version of that. Now think of the Dorkly video based on that version.

Pair of Kings is 10 times worse.

The characters are bare bones at best. In fact, they are invertebrates, and not the funny absorbent ones like Spongebob. Their personalities are so 1 dimensional and obvious that if I were to show you pics of them you could tell me their entire biographies. The leads replicate an early 2010′s trend of being two BROS who keep doing stupid things, and that’s their personality. They also replicate a 2020 trend of making me wish the apocalypse was over. They are just BROS. Whenever they have even a moment of quote un quote “DRAMA” they undercut it with humor like a wet fart at a funeral reception. The supporting cast is like my life: Barely functional and clearly inept to deal with this shit right now. Mason is “The Native Overprotective Dad”; Mikayala is “DA GIRL”; Lanny is “Scar but boring”; The CGI Fish exists.

Can my pain end now?

STORY AND HEART: 1 Out of 5

I’ll make this quick: They have the GALL of pretending that OK BOOMER and Brady Bunch have felt sorrow when they almost destroy the island. They have the GALL to have them say that they will stop being kings if that’s what they want. I’m not saying they’re incapable of such feelings, but I guess this puts it best: At one point in this ACTION-COMEDY-DRAMA of sorts, Brady Bunch says he feels bad about the kids who could die on the island. He hears the volcano burst again, and says “Good Luck Kids” to run off. Sure, this is a typical sitcom joke, but if this show wants me to take it seriously that they mean well, they just shot themsleves in the foot.

The point is for set design and tbf not too bad CGI for a teen sitcom. But I can’t stand a show that lies to my face and pretends that these two are any good. Pair of Kings? More like Pair of END ME END ME END ME.

FINAL SCORE: 1 Out of 15

Bunk’d is next. May god have mercy on my soul.

EVERY SHOW RANKED:

1. Good Luck Charlie

2. Pair of Kings

EVERY EPISODE RANKED (PAIR OF KINGS):

“Return of the Kings” (S1 E1)

EVERY EPISODE RANKED (IN GENERAL):

1. “Study Date” (Good Luck Charlie)

2. “Return of the Kings (Pair of Kings)

EVERY CHARACTER RANKED (PAIR OF KINGS):

1. Mason

2. Mikayla

3. Evil Fish

4. Lonny

5.Boomer

6. Brady

EVERY CHARACTER RANKED (IN GENERAL FOR SITCOMS):

1. PJ Duncan

2. Teddy Duncan

3. Gabe Duncan

4. Bon Duncan

5. Amy Duncan

6. Charlie Duncan

7. Spencer Walsh

8. Mrs. Dabney

9. Emmett

10. Mason

11. Mikayla

12. Evil Fish

13. Lonny

14. Boomer

15. Brady

#spongeguy #review every disney show #pair of kings #disney sitcom

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stusbunker · 5 years

Text

Dr. Emery Simmons-Winchester

Hey guys! An ask post got me thinking about my girl Emery from my Sam series For Better or Worst.

So I decided to fill out the questions about her, in case you’re interested since a lot of her background has been kept as only small glimpses due to the plot so far. Here are those questions from the ASK POST. (Since I know no one would actually send me asks, especially about OCs.)

Basics:

1. What is their gender?

Female

2. What is their sexuality?

Heterosexual

3. What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames?

Meaning: Derived from Emmerich, which can mean brave and powerful. Also a hard, dark substance (i.e. emery boards)

Sam calls her ‘Em’ and ‘Baby’

Georgie used to call her Mama E

4. Do they have any siblings? How many? Are they older or younger? Which sibling are they the closest with?

She has an older half brother that she isn’t close with, but that’s just because he lived across the country from her and her son.

5. What’s their relationship with their parents like? What about other relatives?

Emery loved her parents to the ends of the earth. Though her dad wasn’t always around, his parents helped raise her. She was by her mother’s side when she died from cancer.

6. What would they give their life for?

Georgie. And redemption. Though there are others that she cares for and her dedication to them will be tested deeply soon.

7. Are they in a romantic relationship? With who? How did they meet?

Is an arranged marriage romantic? I guess it depends on who you ask. She is currently married to Sam Winchester. They met via some shady dealings from one Naomi, Angel of the Lord.

8. What do they believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Can I laugh at how deep we are getting in the “Basics” section of this?! Like, damn and then the next question is like a Teen Bop quiz.

Emery believes in Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. She grew as a psychic, knowing the world as it exists on the show. She still believes the angels are on humanity’s side and are her path to forgiveness, if not salvation.

9. What is their favorite color? Favorite animal?

Emery likes rich earth tones with some gold in for accents. She looks good in just about anything though.

10. What are some of their talents/skills?

She is a medieval history professor, and an outstanding lecturer. She reads people really well, even after losing her psychic powers. She has a decent singing voice. Is an amazing mom. And when she makes up her mind to do something, she follows through. Very hard to change her mind or challenge her moral compass.

11. If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be?

Just that the world was better, in any small way, from her influence.

12. How old are they? When is their birthday?

She is 39, born January 16, 1981.

13. What do they do for fun?

Read. Play with her dog Bandit. Go for walks. Listen to music. She used to mess with people who didn’t know she was psychic, but nothing malicious just little things that would stump strangers. She also used to play video games with Georgie.

14. What is their favorite food? How often do they get to eat it?

Potatoes in all of their glorious forms. She also love Cajun cuisine. She isn’t much of a cook, because she never had time to go all out. But french fries are easy enough to come by!

15. What was something their parents taught them?

That no matter who you are, you have a place in this world and a job to do.

Family always comes first.

16. Are they religious?

Yes, but most of the strict devotion rose from the death of her son.

17. Where were they born?

Gary, Indiana

18. What languages can they speak? Where did they learn these languages?

Different dialects of American English. She can read Old English and Middle English from her years of study.

Latin, from high school and some college.

19. What is their occupation?

Currently a professor, formerly a part-time psychic.

20. Do they have any titles? How did they earn them?

She has a PHD in History and a Masters in Education. Dr. Simmons-Winchester if you’d like. ;)

Personality:

21. What is their favorite thing about their personality?

She appreciates her own snark, when it comes out.

22. What is their least favorite thing about their personality?

Her psychic upbringing game her a lot of empathy for others. She hates how weak that makes her seem.

23. Do they get lonely easily?

No, she keeps too busy to feel lonely. Her son was always enough for her... until she found Sam.

24. Do you know their MBTI type?

No because those tests are way too fucking long.

25. What is their biggest flaw?

Self-assigned guilt.

26. Are they aware of their flaws?

Not all of them, who is?

27. What is their biggest strength?

Her dedication.

28. Are they aware of their strengths?

Yes, she isn’t one to sell herself short.

29. How would they describe their own personality?

She would say she is smart, kind and generally tough.

30. When frightened, will they resort to “fight” or “flight”?

She isn’t one for physical violence, but she will stand up vocally. She has had to defend herself physically in the past and that cost her her son.

31. Does this character ever put somebody else’s needs before their own? Who do they do this for? How often do they do this?

Constantly, in the past it was mostly her son, but now also her husband.

32. What is their self esteem like?

Good. She owns her strengths and is aware of her shortcomings. Though she is slightly shaken from a recent rejection, but she knows better than to get too attached when there are other factors in play.

33. What is their biggest fear? How would they react to having to face it?

Failure to protect her son. She would go to the ends of possibility to save him.

34. How easily do they trust others with their secrets? With their lives?

It took almost five months of an arranged marriage for her to tell Sam about her son, his death and her side of their deal with Heaven. Though she trusts Sam, she didn’t reveal much about her past.

We’re going to have to wait and see if she can trust Sam or Cas with her life.

35. What is the easiest way to annoy them?

Talk cruelly about other people on end. Chew with your mouth open.

36. What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke they would find humorous.

She has a pretty decent sense of humor. Not too dark, but definitely has a sarcastic streak. I think she would love memes, especially living with a preteen gamer, she would have seen her share. But she’s still a dorky mom, so she only shares the obvious ones with her TAs.

37. How easy is it for them to say “I love you”? Do they say it without meaning it?

Fairly easy, especially with family. Never.

38. What do others admire most about their personality?

Her strength of character and her determination to DO GOOD.

39. What does their happily ever after look like?

She hasn’t really thought about it beyond the task at hand. Keeping up her charade with Sam in order to save Georgie’s soul and Dean. They have quiet the dream life from the outside: great jobs, nice house in a good neighborhood. But none of that can last, not for them. Right?

40. Who do they trust most? Is that trust mutual?

Her mother, but she passed about two years ago. Yes.

Physical Profile:

41. What does their laugh sound like? Do they snort when they laugh? How often do they laugh?

Her voice is smoky, much like her faceclaim Rashida Jones. Her laugh can get breathy or silent if it is a really deep one. She laughs in little spells, but nothing like she used to.

42. What is their favorite thing about their physical appearance?

Her sparkling hazel eyes.

43. What is their least favorite thing about their physical appearance?

She thinks she has a big nose. But her complex is so good, she doesn’t dwell.

44. Do they have any scars? If so, what are the stories behind those scars?

Yes, she had a total hysterectomy after her mother died so she has laparoscopic scaring. She also has stretch marks from pregnancy. The biggest scars are on her left upper arm, where her son scratched her when he first shifted into a werewolf.

45. How would they describe their own appearance?

Just a 30-someting mixed girl rocking what she’s got.

46. How easily can they express emotions? How easily can they hide emotions?

She is tempered first and foremost. Being vulnerable is not something she does regularly, but she doesn’t hide the big things. They’re too much for a reason.

47. What’s their pain tolerance like?

She is a women of color and a single mother, her pain tolerance is insanely high because people don’t listen anyway. (yes, that’s shade)

48. Do they have any tattoos? What are the stories behind those tattoos?

She doesn’t. (Desperately trying to remember if she does now... oops?)

49. Do they have any piercings?

Just a single on both ears.

51. What is their height? Weight?

5′4″ 130lbs ish

52. What is their body type? Are they muscular, chubby, skinny, etc?

She thin, not overly fit.

53. What is their hair color? Eye color? Skin tone?

Dark brown/ Hazel/ Dark Beige

55. What is their alcohol tolerance like? What kind of drunk are they? How bad are their hangovers?

She has a fairly low tolerance for alcohol, but that’s generally because she doesn’t drink often. When she gets wine drunk she gets affectionate. The few times she has been hungover have been exhausting because she doesn’t give her self time to recover.

56. What do they smell like? Why do they smell like this? (Is it the things they’re around or a perfume they wear?)

Her natural scent is warm spices, with almost a vanilla finish. She has a jasmine perfume that makes her slightly more feminine and floral.

57. How do they feel about sex? Are they a virgin?

She hasn’t had an active sex life until she married Sam. Before that it had been a few years. No, she isn’t a virgin and this is a dumb question because it is an outdated misogynistic construct.

58. What is their most noticeable physical attribute?

Her big, bright, multicolored eyes. Then her smile.

59. What does their resting face look like? Do they have RBF?

Not exactly resting, but you get the point. Yes.

60. Describe the way they sleep.

She sleeps curled on her side, in the middle of the bed. If Sam’s already up, she is stealing his pillow to cuddle. If Sam is sleeping elsewhere, she stays to her side.

Environment:

61. Which season is their favorite season?

Summer, though she was born in the winter, she prefers it if she can function outside or at least read by the lake.

62. Have they ever been betrayed? How did it affect their ability to trust others?

Okay, yes, everyone has been betrayed. She is currently dealing with the ramifications of an unjust deal with Heaven. It’s not easy for her.

63. What is always guaranteed to make them smile?

Her dog Bandit.

64. Do they get cold easily? Do they get overheated easily?

Yes, she is a slight woman, she gets cold easily.

65. What’s their immune system like? Do they get sick often? How do they react to getting sick?

She has a solid immune system, even when she gets sick she powers through. Bad mental health days knock her down a few pegs though.

66. Where do they live? Do they like it there?

Currently living in Denver, CO with Sam and Bandit. She lived in Chicago with her son and dog previously.

67. Is their bedroom messy? What about their bathroom? Kitchen? Living room?

No, she keeps her bedroom clean because she shares it (for the most part) now. The bathroom and kitchen are always spotless. The living room is a little cluttered, but that’s generally Bandit’s toys and research she leaves out when she’s not grading in the dining room.

68. How did their environment growing up affect their personality?

She was surrounded by love. Her mom was a waitress at a diner and her paternal granddad and big mama helped raised her. She knew she had to work hard for anything to come to her and she also was psychic so she was able to sense how her family was “odd” or “wrong” depending on whose thoughts she heard. She grew up learning to respect people and kill them with kindness, or wit if she had to.

69. How did the people in their environment growing up affect their personality?

See above.

70. How do they feel about animals? Do they have any pets?

She loves animals, but is very much a dog person. Yes, Bandit, the best boy ever.

71. How are they with children? Do they have any? Do they want any?

She is amazing with kids, especially one on one. She has a son George, who would have been 13 last spring. She is unable to have more.

72. Would they rather have stability or comfort?

Stability. Knowing what to expect is its own level of comfort.

73. Do they prefer the indoors or outdoors?

She is generally indoors, but generally all of her active free time is spent outside.

74. What weather is their favorite? Do they like storms?

To be in, sunny and clear. She likes storms from the safety of inside and thunder more than the lightning.

75. If given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

She would probably doodle old geometric patterns found on ancient manuscripts as a border. Possibly make a list of things that need doing or write the same word over and over again in different fonts.

76. How organized are they?

Fairly, not obsessively so.

77. What is their most prized possession?

Her PhD.

78. Who do they consider to be their best friend?

She was close with a few colleagues at her last job, a small college just outside of Chicago. But her mother was her best friend so it is hard to put that title on someone else since she lost her.

79. What is their economic situation?

Currently upper-middle class. Previously working class struggling with medical bills.

80. Are they a morning person or a night owl?

She is not a morning person, but doesn’t stay up too late unless she has too.

Miscellaneous:

81. Are they bothered by the sight of blood?

No. Unless someone is severely hurt.

82. What is their handwriting like?

Not too neat, but generally a combination of print and cursive.

83. Can they swim? How well? Do they like to swim?

Yes, well enough to not die, she doesn’t know all the strokes or anything. Sure, but not as much as she likes sunbathing.

84. Which deadly sin do they represent best?

Oh, this is a tough one! I am going to say Envy, because though she had a great family growing up, she was still very much aware of what other people had. And their problems always seemed so frivolous.

85. Do they believe in ghosts?

Yes, she was a psychic, she spoken to spirits before.

86. How do they celebrate holidays? How do they celebrate birthdays?

She has her great-grandmother’s china that she keeps for the big holidays, Christmas, Easter, etc. She would host the cousins and aunties with her grandma and once her mom got too sick, it was harder to get everyone together. She and George would go to her Aunt Janice’s house when they could for Sunday dinner, but traffic in and out of the city was a pain during the school year.

87. What is something they regret?

Killing her son in self-defense.

88. Do they have an accent?

Not usually, she was in an academic setting for so long she doesn’t let it slip out often.

89. What is their D&D alignment?

Neutral Good, laws and those who enforce them should evolve quicker than they do.

90. Are they right or left handed?

Right.

92. Describe them as a John Mulaney gif.

93. What’s the most iconic line of dialogue they’ve ever said?

She groaned, grabbing his face in both her hands. “Fine! Asshole. But you better make it worth it.”

She was pointing a finger at his agreeing puppy dog face now.

#for better or worst feels #emery simmons-winchester #stu's ocs

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