#yes rosa has burn marks. a lot of them

[wkemeup]

By Any Other Name (Epilogue)

series summary: When Special Agent Bucky Barnes is tasked with infiltrating the notorious gang Hydra and gathering evidence against its leader, Brock Rumlow, Bucky finds himself drawn to the woman who doesn’t seem to belong in this world of violence, the wife of the head of Hydra… you. pairing: bucky x reader chapter word count: 6.3k warnings: smut (18+), domestic bucky, the end of the series ❤️ a/n: I seriously can’t believe its been months of you guys sticking with me on this series week after week ❤️ I’m going to miss that so much and can’t begin to express how much the love and support for this series has meant to me. I do plan on doing headcannons/drabbles/bonus one shots at some point so if you have questions you’d like answered, requests, or prompts, send them in! 🌟 🌹series masterlist 🌹

“Agent Barnes, I thought I kicked you out when visiting hours ended last night.”

The stern voice of one of your nurses emerged from the doorway; a no-nonsense middle-aged woman named Rosa, who wore bright blue eye shadow and a silver cross hanging around her neck. Hands planted firmly on her hips, her eyes narrowed upon Bucky as he slowly raised his head from the edge of your cot. Sleep lines were carved into his cheeks and a painful crack snapped in his neck as he stretched it to the side, having slept hunched over from the folding chair placed beside you.

“You may have mentioned it,” he chuckled nervously, massaging the stiff muscles in his shoulder.

“And yet, you’re still here.” Rosa rolled her eyes, slowly making her way into the room to begin checking the vitals on the monitor at your bedside. “You’re lucky we’re discharging her today. Your flashy gold badge was about at its end of favors around here.”

She must have been expecting a quick remark or a joke of some kind because she seemed surprised as she turned to find Bucky smiling ear to ear, focus turned entirely to you as you slept soundly; bandages now absent from your burns as they’d begun to heal, life renewed back to your skin, a steady rise and fall of your breaths.

“Y/n can come home?”

Rosa sighed, a slow smile pushing up on her own lips. She was a tired woman and she’d seen a lot in her years, but she’d come to like Bucky, even if he was a major pain in her ass.

“Yes, Agent Barnes. She can go home.”

It had been nearly a week. A week of sleeping in positions that were sure to cause permanent damage to his back. A week of holding your hand as nurses tended to the burns on your skin. A week of smooth talking the night shift into letting him stay past visiting hours and using hospital showers and eating mediocre cafeteria food.

But now, you could come home.

Only, he wasn’t quite sure where home was anymore.

“Bucky?” Voice groggy and filled with sleep, you slowly opened your eyes, smiling sweetly up at Rosa as she finished making down your vitals.

“Ready to get out of here?” Bucky grinned, pulling your hand up to his lips to kiss your knuckles.

A smile began to light up in your eyes, but something went wrong along the way. It disappeared as quickly as it arrived, replaced with the harsh reality of burning fires and a mansion up in smoke. It wasn’t much of a home but it was the only home you had. Bucky’s stomached twisted in on itself.

“I…” you started, stare falling down to the floor. “I don’t have anywhere to go.”

Bucky already had suitcases full of clothes at his apartment for you, a dozen series of books lined up on the kitchen table, toiletries that Natasha purchased at his request filling baskets under the bathroom sink. He even had Sam and Steve clean the place spotless, much to their reluctance. It was ready for you. He was ready for you. But he needed it to be a choice.

“Steve said the Bureau would put you up in a hotel until you could find an apartment,” Bucky offered, though he could tell quickly from the way your eyes shifted just slightly it wasn’t a good option. You squeezed his hand. Bucky nodded, asking, “what about May’s place? I’m sure Peter would love to have you over.”

“Aunt May’s got enough on her plate. She doesn’t need me to take care of, too.” You shook your head, a heavy breath nestled into your chest.

Tears were starting to well in your eyes, an aching kind of helplessness he’d only seen in you in the moments you were forced to submission beside your husband, a lingering sort of emptiness, a loss, and it nearly ripped Bucky straight in half.

“Stay with me,” he blurted out. He clenched his jaw, cursing at himself, because he was supposed to be a lot smoother about the preposition. 

Your eyes snapped up to his; wide, suspicious. “…What?”

“Come home with me,” Bucky offered again, firmer, sure. “Stay with me. I know my place is small but I’ve got the room. I’ll buy you all the tea you can drink and line the windowsills with plants I can’t easily kill. Whatever you need, I’ll get it for you. What do you say, sweetheart?”

Chewing on the edge of your lip, you could hardly hold his eye. “I can’t ask you to take me in Bucky…”

“You’re not asking,” he replied quickly. “I’m offering.”

He could still see the hesitancy in your face, the quick flash of your stare to his shoulder. It had healed faster than the divots around your wrists and still, the guilt managed to find its way inside you. It crept around the light and slithered through the shadows no matter how many times Bucky had tried to pry it away.

“It will make me feel better,” Bucky tried, recalling the first night in the hospital he’d been sent away after visiting hours. He’d come back the next morning to find dark circles under your eyes and tear marks down your cheeks. You’d clung to him for hours just trying to reassuring yourself he was really there, that the monster in your dreams hadn’t left to him to the flames instead. Leaving you alone after that wasn’t an option.

“Please, sweetheart,” Bucky urged, squeezing your hand a little tighter. “Let me take care of you. It’ll be temporary, okay? Until we can find a place of your own.”

It seemed to lessen the tension clenched into your jaw at least. He would have asked you to move in entirely if he thought you were ready for it. He could spend the rest of his life surrounded by dozens of bookshelves and mugs half filled with tea from the night before, cozy blankets thrown over the back of the couch and more pillows than he could count upon the cushions. He could spend an eternity with you.

But even with the monster slain, there were still demons in the closet; nightmares that were sure to plague your sleep, shadows that would set panic in your veins at every corner, guilt that will swept its way into the darkest corners of your mind. There were still evils to protect you from, it seemed. 

“Okay,” you nodded, letting a smile brush up at the ends of your lips.

“Nat’s already got everything you could need waiting for us back at my place,” he told you as he quickly began gathering your things from around the room; books Peter had brought you from his school’s library, empty Styrofoam cups half filled with over steeped tea, and newspapers highlighted in yellow marks with names of Hydra affiliates who were now sitting behind bars.

Hands filled with various belongings, Bucky turned back to find you watching him intently, a shy kind of smile on your face. “What?”

“You’ve been planning this, haven’t you?”

Bucky shrugged, sliding the books and papers into his bag and tossing the spare cups into the bin. He brushed a hand through his hair, tugging on it a little as he pushed it behind his ears. “Is that so crazy? After everything we went through to get here, I couldn’t stand the thought of you being anywhere else. Gotta keep an eye on my girl, don’t I?”

You smiled and it lit up right into your eyes. “The case is over, Buck. You don’t have to protect me anymore.”

Bucky shook his head, leaning forward as a hand swept back along your hair and nestled against your neck. He pressed a short kiss to your crown. “We may be free of Hydra, but that part of my job won’t ever go away. I will always protect you, sweetheart. From drug dealers and mafia kingpins to broken AC units and empty tea boxes; doesn’t matter. I’m there.”

The damn near sweetest laugh he’d ever heard filled the room as you swatted him away. It made his stomach twist, his heart sing, his cheeks hurt from how wide his was smiling. Happiness was a sort of foreign, strange feeling, but it wasn’t one he planned on letting slip him by.

***

Another week later and Bucky could look around the apartment and find pieces of you everywhere. The mug resting on the end table in the living room, still steeping the remnants of last night’s tea. The blanket thrown over the back of the kitchen chair from when you wondered out of his room in the early morning with a chill. The second toothbrush in the cup by the sink. The sweet smell of your lotion on the dresser. The pantry filled with popcorn and Oreos.

You’d started to turn his place into a home.

It became quite domestic, a different sort of comfort, to wake up to the smell of bacon and watch you making breakfast in the kitchen, to brush his teeth next to you in the bathroom at night as you washed your face, to see the way the pillows creased to your cheeks and the way you tried to stifle yawns in the morning.

But there was a new kind of intimacy of sharing his home with you, one that grew to challenge every restraint he ever possessed.

He’d seen you change into your pajamas in the corner of his room, the whole of your bare back facing him, the dips and curves of your spine as you caught him staring, a soft smile over your shoulder. He’d seen the outline of pebbled nipples through your tank top as you ate breakfast across the kitchen table, hair still messy with sleep. He’d seen the way you looked at him in the mornings, when he woke to a hardened length between his legs and his cheeks flushed red as he muttered out apologies.

He’d tried to prolong it, knowing that you’d been through an imaginable loss, even if it was never really yours to begin with. You’d been through a world of trauma and he knew how messy things could get if he pushed you too fast. It wasn’t a risk he was willing to take. Not until you made it clear that you were as needy for him as he was for you.

If he let himself notice the signs, perhaps he would have realized you’d been aching for him earlier, but it still came as a surprise when you ran your hand along his thigh as you watched an old rerun of The Fugitive. You brushed over his length, smiling to yourself as he shuddered out a tense breath and tried to readjust in his seat.

“Careful,” he warned, staring at the television though a smirk started to curve at his lips.

“You don’t need to hold back anymore,” you told him simply. Your fingers expertly drew along the outline of his cock, pressed hard up against the thin layer of sweats. Pumping him sweetly over excess fabric, you leaned up and pressed your lips to his neck. “Let me love you.”

Bucky exhaled a shaken breath, hand sliding around the couch in search of the remote, the movie long forgotten. “You’re sure?”

You smiled against his jawline, peppering kisses along his edges until you landed sweetly against his lips. “Always.”

Bucky scooped you up into his arms, the pain in his shoulder nothing but a distant memory as he carried you to the bed. After setting you upon the mattress, Bucky quickly stripped himself of his clothes, tugging at your sleep shorts with fevered haste as you laughed, swatting his hands away and doing it yourself. 

Hearts racing like it was the first time, and maybe it was, because there were no more shadows lurking in the corners, no demons to invade tiny glimpse of heaven you shared.

Bucky kissed his way down your body, mapping a trail to the soft crease at your legs, touching so sweetly to the most intimate parts of you until his lips latched around the bundle of nerves between your legs. Arms curling around your thighs, nose brushing over soft curls, nestled tight against the woman gave his life to.

He pulled gasps and whimpers from you, withering underneath him as he held you down, drawing the most beautiful sounds he could imagine. Your nails raked to his scalp and as you came, his tongue sweet with the taste of you. You whispered you loved him.

He knew. He’d heard it enough times but every time was like the first. It still surprised him, knowing you could love him after all you’d been through; that you could trust anyone after the web of lies and manipulation Rumlow had put you through, after you were taken advantage of and used and made to be the property of a vile man, and somehow, you still had room in your heart for love. It felt impossible, and yet, here you were, kissing him like his touch wasn’t enough, like you needed more, need him.

When he sank into you, your hand gripped at his shoulder, a soft whine in your voice as he waited patiently for you to adjust. You exhaled a heavy breath, aching and sore and eager, but your fingers paused at his arm, tracing over the light pink scar there, the raised edges and bubbled skin.

Before you could say anything, Bucky dipped down and kissed your lips, nudged your hand to his hair. He smiled at you, something soft and tender, and whatever was wrestling in your mind slipped away. 

You push a strand of hair behind his ear, drawing it away from his face, just admiring. It wasn’t something you were used to having the time for; always so rushed, always looking over your shoulder and waiting for the foundation to crack. You’d always reveled in the looked across the room and the heated love you made. It was a privilege to spend time in the moments between.

Bucky rolled his hips, stretching along your walls. Your eyes fluttered shut, breaths shaken, and you gripped him tighter, urging him on.

It took a moment to find his rhythm, perfectly in tune with the cry of the bed frame, the gasps of your breaths, the low moans from his own lips; a symphony between you, building, crashing, higher and higher until--

“Ah, oh God, Bucky— don’t stop—”

It almost knocked him out on the spot, almost stopped him dead in his tracks. His eyes shot to you, though you were too far gone to notice; lips parted, eyes closed, so close to the edge. He didn’t dare stop the snap of his hips to yours, didn’t dare pull his hand from your clit, but took a moment to memorize this feeling, this warmth deep in his chest. The sound of his name on your lips, etched in pleasure and love and need.

“I’ve got you, love,” he mewled to your ear, bringing you over the edge with a prolonged cry, your hands digging into the bare of his back as he chased his own release. He came only a few thrusts later, spilling into you, the weight of him dropping to your chest.

Fingers carding gently through his hair, coaxing the racing beat of his heart. His favorite place. His safest place. In your arms.

***

You’d started to find yourself again in the weeks after. You’d gone up to Columbia and spoken with old colleagues. You’d made arrangements to meet with the Dean in hopes of discussing your future in academia again.

Bucky could hardly contain his pride the day you’d walked back into the apartment, beaming from ear to ear, and told him about all the friends you’d missed who welcome you back with open arms, the campus that looked completely the same, and your office that remained vacant.

He’d spun you in his arms, your laugh filling the small Brooklyn apartment, and Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen you so happy. It was heaven when you smiled like that, like for the first time in a while you had the chance to be who you were always supposed to be, the freedom to make choices without permission.

You started to let yourself become comfortable in the woman you were before Brock Rumlow stormed his way into your life. You smiled enough for your cheeks to ache, laughed loud enough to bring butterflies to Bucky’s stomach, left books around on every surface and mugs of unfinished tea on the counters. You lived in oversized sweaters and ripped jeans and messy hair down by your shoulders. You hummed to yourself as you cooked and danced your way through the bathroom with a towel wrapped around your head and a bathrobe tugged tight at your waist.

It was a relief, to see you like this; so at ease in your own skin, enough so that Bucky started to find pieces of himself he too left behind to his years undercover.

He traded the black jeans and bomber jackets for worn out Levi’s and t-shirts, the tension in his shoulders for the soft brush of your hands down his back, tugging out the knots he’d built over the last year. He started to let the stubble on his cheeks grow, cast over in a shadow along his jaw and obstruct the faded scars he’d obtained at the hands of your ex-husband. 

Then, when Bucky grew tired of seeing a man he didn’t recognize in the mirror, he made a drastic change.

“Buck?” you called into the apartment, arms filled to the brim with grocery bags as you kicked the door shut behind you. “Could use some help!”

“Comin’, sweetheart!” Bucky jogged his way into the kitchen and started to pull the bags from your hands when you finally caught sight of him, let out a yelp, and nearly dropped the milk cartoon to the ground. Bucky dove for it at the last second, securing it before it could explode to the hardwoods.

“Your hair!” you gasped, staring at him with wide eyes.

Bucky clenched his jaw, nodding in acknowledgement of the cut he’d had done while you were out on your errands; short and tight to the sides of his head, full and swept back on the top. He set the groceries down on the counter and when he turned back to look at you, you had already crossed the plane of the kitchen, hands rifling up through his hair and messing away any of the product his barber had styled in.

“Do you hate it?” he grimaced, noticing how you’d tugged your lower lip between your teeth. You were silent for a moment, studying him, and Bucky’s stomach nearly turned over on itself. But then, you softened, gently rubbing your thumb down along his temple and he sank into the feeling.

“This is what Bucky Barnes looks like, isn’t it? The long hair was part of the cover,” you smiled, settling his hair back in place as your hands slipped down over his cheeks, brushing over the grown in stubble. You remembered the image you’d seen in the factory office with Brock, the photographs thrown in rage of a man with short brunette hair and golden badge draped around his neck.

“Yeah,” Bucky admitted, stomach twisting a little. You’d known him as James Karpov for so long, gotten so used to the name and face and the fall of his hair down by his shoulders. He knew he looked different, a few years younger maybe, and it was a change. A big change. One he wasn’t certain you’d like, but he needed it off. He needed to be himself again in every sense he could, to wash himself clean of Hydra and the man he’d left to the fire.

“Well, Bucky,” you sighed, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheekbone, just over the faded pink scar, and then, to his lips. “I love it. Might miss having something to tug on, though.”

You winked over your shoulder as you started making your way to the bedroom, holding his stare with that devilish kind of look in your eye, until you slipped your sweater up and over your head, dropping it to the floor in the hallway. Bare back exposed to him, you sauntered inside to the warm embrace of sun-kissed light filtering in through the windows and Bucky chased after you, laugh heavy in his chest, the groceries long forgotten on the counter.  

***

It was the day Bucky’s name was cleared by Barton and Maximoff; the day the remains of your old home were removed of their crime scene tape and left to be weathered until the city stoke its claim upon the land and bulldozed the ruins.

As Bucky pulled the car into park, you found yourself staring up to the charred ashes of a home that had once kept you caged prisoner. The memory of the flames was still seared in the back of your mind; the heat of the fire burning at your skin, the smoke filling your lungs, the dizziness in your head, the panic as the gunshots went off. You could still feel how your heart had broken free from your chest and the stones embedded under bare feet as you rushed towards the fire, Steve’s arms circling around you to hold you back as a scream ripped its way through your lungs.

“Y/n?” Bucky’s voice called softly, tugging you back from the memory. He was standing outside the passenger door, extending a hand to you.

You turned to the driver’s seat, not having realized he’d even left his place beside you. Your eyes flickered from his hand back to the house.

“They really ruled it self-defense?” you asked for the second time that morning as Bucky helped ease you from the car. You looped your hand at the crook of his arm, tucking in close to him as you both made your way to the ruins of a home you loathed.

“Like I said, doll,” Bucky replied, ever so patiently, “the only evidence they have is my word. Everything else is up in smoke.”

“So... was it?” you asked, pausing for a moment as you looked up at Bucky. “Self-defense?”

He sighed, a heaviness inside him alongside the truth. Your free hand reached up along the side of his face, cupping at his cheek sweetly to coax his eyes back to you. You nodded at him, like you already knew the answer and you were simply waiting to hear it from him. There was no judgement between you, no secrets, and he had no interest in ever lying to you again.

“Yes,” he exhaled, wholehearted, because he did genuinely believe it. “The law might not see it that way, but it was. In defense of you, anyway. A jail cell wouldn’t stop a man like Rumlow from coming after you, from pulling strings and making orders even with Hydra disbanded. I should have known that from the start. He threatened your life, Y/n. He didn’t give me any other choice.”

“I know,” you told him and a weight fell from his shoulders. “You forget that I know Brock better than almost anyone. I know what he’s like when he’s pushed to a corner. You did what you had to, Bucky. I believe that.”

A solemn smile pushed at his cheeks, small and subtle, but it was rooted in a disbelief, in an awe, that he could have ever managed to find someone as loving and understanding as you. For you to love him, despite his flaws, despite the blood on his hands behind the guise of a shiny gold badge, was unimaginable. He still didn’t quite understand it and yet here you were, tucked against his arm, cheek to his shoulder as you stared up at the charred ashes of your home.

“You sure you want to do this?” he asked gently, tense in his shoulders as he glared at the remains of the mansion that kept you prisoner.

You nodded and there was an ease in it, a calm, you didn’t have before.

Bucky let you lead him up to the what remained of the front door. The second story was completely caved in; only pieces of the foundation and walls still standing. It was black, covered in soot, and you stepped through the archway where the door would have been.

Inside, the staircase still remained, though it was withered and degrading, and there were bones of old furniture and the outline of the brick fireplace at the edge of the living room. You didn’t pause before you turned down the hall to the left and perhaps, Bucky shouldn’t have been surprised as he followed your lead to the library.

You paused for a moment as you came upon the opening. The left door was still unhinged, thrown under the frame like a bridge from when Steve attempted to suffocate the flames long enough for you and Bucky to escape. The chair still placed at the center of the room where you’d been bound and tied and left to the vengeance of the fire.

You released yourself from Bucky’s side, slowly slipping away as you stepped into the burned remains of your library.

Bucky watched from a careful distance as you wandered around the room, giving you space to grieve. Your hand trails along the broken shelves, black with soot, and you examined the black ash upon your fingers as you pulled away.

It was all a memory now. Everything that you built, everything that kept you safe and sane and secure those years trapped within this home with a man you despised. It was all gone.

You paused at the corner of the room, shoulders sinking, and you slowly bent down to the floor until you picked up the charred remains of a novel. Hardcover, black soot coating the binding, crumbled bits of burnt paper spilling out the edges as you stood. You sighed, brushing your hand over the title, the colors and design on the front hardly recognizable if not for the high school library tag on the binding.

A Farewell to Arms.

You tugged the book to your chest, its words long lost to the fire, the edges burned black and unreadable, but it survived. You didn’t dare open its pages to see if Bucky’s childhood scribbles remained. A tear slipped past your cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said quietly, shuffling his feet. You looked back at him under a furrowed brow, the book in your hand slipping down to rest at your side. Bucky exhales, looking around to the aisles empty of the novels you cherished, their pages consumed in the fire. “You lost so much here.”

You smiled sweetly at him before you shook your head, looking back to the room in fondness. “It’s what this room represents that matters.”

“But your collection--”

“I’ll start again,” you replied simply, reaching out for his hand, gesturing him towards you.  Bucky took it graciously and you squeezed his hand, gently nudging his shoulder with your own. “Feels right, doesn’t it? A new start.”

You sighed, staring out to the rows of empty shelves, the piles of ashes on the floor beside them. The couch you’d spent so many nights curled up under blankets and a warm cup of tea in your hands, where you’d read for hours to escape from the monsters outside the doors, where Bucky decided to tell you who he was, where he made love to you in a rushed heat. The windowsill once filled with a beautiful array of plants, where only the broken clay pots remained, the glass of the window burst to the floor alongside broken remains of the ceiling.

Bucky followed your gaze, feeling a loss in his own chest for the room that he came to know you in. This was your sanctuary, your safe haven. This was the room that was completely and entirely yours within a home constructed to be cold and shallow. It was your escape.

But this room meant a great deal to Bucky, too.

“I fell in love with you in this room, you know,” he said fondly, looking to the charred remains of the couch where he’d read next to you for house, where you’d fallen asleep on his shoulder, and he started coming up with reasons not to leave.

He found you staring up at him when he looked back to you, that sweet kind of smile on your face as you slipped your free hand up against his cheek and brought his lips to yours. Soft and warm, the soothing motion of your lips between his, on his, the slip of his tongue gently along yours, and he pulled away with final kiss to your cheek, your nose, then the crown of your head as he wrapped his arms around you.

Surrounded by the ashes of a room that protected you from the monsters beyond its doors.

A room that served as a safe haven.

A room you opened to the stranger with kind, blue eyes and a sweet smile.

“Let go home,” you mumbled to the collar of his shirt, breath warm against the fabric and Bucky felt a skip in his chest for a moment before he settled.

Home. He liked the sound of that.

***

T H R E E  M O N T H S  L A T E R

It was a Monday morning, the first of many, because you were starting your position back at Columbia. The first day of school was always a bit intimidating, even as a professor, even knowing half the staff was eagerly awaiting your return and the fact that your class had filled to capacity in the first few minutes of course selection.

That hadn’t happened even when you were at the height of your career, but you supposed your name plastered across the media and your connection to the takedown of Hydra had something to do with it. You suspected the influx of criminal justice majors were more interested in your time in Hydra than they were in 19th century literature. You didn’t mind, though. It was an opportunity to spark a love for something they didn’t know they had yet.

And maybe you’d throw in some mafia stories to keep up the intrigue and bait for class participation.

You tucked the edge of your shirt into the front of your pants, slipped on a cardigan over your shoulders, and tossed your hair up into a bun before you made your way out into the kitchen. The moment you opened the door, you were met with a waft of smoke as the fire alarm began to cry. 

Bucky was at the stove, apron draped over the bare of his chest, sweatpants covered in stains of pancake mix as he grumbled to himself. You bit back a laugh, leaning against the wall to watch him rush around the kitchen, waving towels in the air in hopes to break up the smoke and cursing at the alarm to ‘shut the hell up you stupid piece of--’

“Hi, honey.”

Bucky spun around, clearly startled as he held a spatula between his hands gripped like a vice.

“Y/n! I, uh, I didn’t think you’d be ready so fast,” he chuckled nervously, trying to wipe the flour from his forehead, though he only made it worse. He glanced back at the mess of the kitchen, the burned pancakes piled on the plate and the sizzling pan behind him. “I made pancakes...?”

“Did you?” you teased, biting down on your lip to keep from smiling too wide and bruising his pride more than it already had been.

“I tried anyway,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair, leaving particles of white flour amongst his dark brown waves. His lips curved down to a frown as he chewed on the inside of his cheek, feet shuffling at the floor. “It’s a big day for you. Wanted it to be special.”

You smiled, heart warm as it’s ever been. “It’s always special with you, Buck.”

Bucky looked up at you, a teasing in his eyes as he shook his head, low, defeated. “Ah, don’t try and make me feel better about this mess, love. It won’t work.”

“You sure?” you asked slowly, making your way up to him and placing your hands against the expose skin on his hips. “Not even if I...”

A kiss to his cheek.

Then, his neck.

Finally, at the corner of his mouth, not quite close enough.

“Huh-uh, not even then,” he exhaled, though his grin was betraying him. “Give it one more try though, will you?”

You laughed, smiling so wide it hurt. “You're relentless, you know that?”

Bucky shrugged, a slight nod in agreement he leaned in to kiss you. His hand reached behind him, like he was trying to steady himself against the cabinets, but the stove was still bright red, still scalding hot from where the pan has been.

“James!” you yelped in a panic, yanking him hard away from the stove before his hand could touch it. Your heart was pounding as you held him against the sink. He was still against you and you realized then what you’d said.

Your eyes trailed up to him slowly, embarrassed, and you found him smiling sweetly at you, always patient, always kind.

“I’m sorry, I—I didn’t mean—”

“It’s alright, doll,” Bucky replied genuinely brushing the flyaways from your face with the hand that had nearly been seared clean by the stone top. “I don’t mind if you call me James.”

“No, I-- I remember how important it was for you that I knew your name when I couldn’t and I—” you sighed, leaning into his touch as you lost yourself in the feel of him gently coaxing the doubt away. He leaned down a pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“You can call me anything you want, sweetheart,” he said simply. “I get to come home every night knowing that it’s you I’m waking up to every morning. You can call me anything as long as I get to do that.”

You laughed through the swell of tears in your eyes. Bucky reached behind him and turned the stove off to ease your conscious. With a quick glance at the clock, your heart skipped, realizing you were already running late.

“I’ve got to go!” you yelped, half laughing as you raced around the room. Bucky stood back and watched, arms folded over his chest, something like pride and joy bolstering in his heart.

“Pete’s coming over after school, alright?” Bucky called to you as you quickly threw on your shoes. “He’s got some project for his forensics class and I promised I’d help him out.”

“Y-yeah, uh-huh, sounds good!”

Bucky chuckled as you raced back into the bedroom to grab your bag with one sleeve of your coat on. “Steve is picking me up in an hour to help filter out recruits but I’ll probably be back before you are.”

“Okay!” You rushed into the living room, a little winded though you were giddy with excitement. You pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before you sprinted to the door, though you paused, freezing in the open doorframe as you glanced back to Bucky.

He stood leaning against the counter, a mess of homemade pancake mix around him; this lethally trained special agent who woke up early on a Monday to absolutely destroy the kitchen in an attempt to make you breakfast, with a light pink apron draped around his neck and flour coating his forehead.

“I love you,” you said simply. You’d told him enough times but it still felt like an admission. You liked to remind him, liked to say it as often as you could because it was a choice to love him, a part of you that you were finally able to let the sunlight touch. You’d shout it to the world.

Bucky shook his head, laughing, as he leaned against the counter. “Love you, too, sweetheart.”

He smiled back at you, something genuine and loving unlike you’d know in years. The same smile that allowed you to trust him nearly two years ago, the smile that reminded you what it was like to feel butterflies in your stomach and to miss someone when they were gone. Wrinkles up by his eyes, dimples in his cheeks. A brightness of a man who gave everything just to give you a choice again, to let you decide your own fate, to free you from the chains of a man who would have rather seen you burn than love anyone but himself.

The man who saved you, who held your hand and danced with you on garden view balconies, who loved you enough to run through fire. The man who risked his career, his life, on his trust in you. The man who reminded you that you were more than you were told, who showed you how to smile again, who brought back your laugh and put joy into your heart.

The man who ushered you to through the door to your first day back at work, who encouraged you to find your place in the world again, who give you the space to reconnect with old friends, who held your hand gripped tightly in his own and willingly chose to follow where you led. He opened doors and waited for you on the other side. He gave you choices, a new life, a new start.

The man you adored. The man you loved.

Your Bucky.

Your James.

Your everything.

🖤🌹

--

Thank you so much for reading! ❤️ If you enjoyed this fic, please consider supporting me at my ko-fi account ✨

[cafedanslanuit]

Dirty Dancing - Obey Me! boys

Hey remember that time I wrote about a latina MC dancing reggeaton songs with the RFA members? 

This time I tried making the songs relate a little bit more to the characters and with the headcanon I’ll write for them. I highly suggest listening to the songs as you read. also, this turned out to be a little nsfw ~

Lucifer (Negro - J Balvin)

She has evil within, she has a devil inside / I’m crazy about spanking her, leaving her marked

You thought dancing such a sexy rhythm was a good idea? Yes and no.

You were in your room and put on some music, thinking about cleaning up a little. Soon the cleaning part is done and you ended up dancing in front on your mirror

You turned around as you danced, only to notice Lucifer was looking at your from the door. He had a heavy aura around him and a playful smirk on his lips. You looked at him, a little embarrassed.

“No, no, MC” Lucifer said, entering your room. “Please, continue. A little closer, if you can” he added, pulling a chair and sitting on it, waiting for your show.

At first, you were a little coy, but at the song progressed, you started feeling a little bolder, flaunting in front of your boyfriend. You swayed your hips, looking straight at Lucifer, who had a playful smirk on his lips.

You came closer, dancing between his open legs. Even if it was probably the first time you were giving a lap dance, you tried to make it the best you could. You grabbed his knees and slowly crouched down, never stopping the sway of your hips. You caressed his thighs with both your hands, then using them as support for bringing yourself up. You leaned closer to his lips, only grazing them before going back your dancing.

You could see Lucifer swallowing, trying his best to keep his cool as he saw you dancing for him. 

The song ended and you walked to him, sitting on his lap and pressing a kiss on his cheek.

“So… spanking, huh?” he asked, his lip turned upwards. Your eyes opened wide, not expecting him to understand any part of the song.

“What?” you asked.

“We’ve been at school for thousands of years. Of course I know Spanish” he explained, as if it should have been obvious from the start. Now it was your turn to turn deep red.

Before you could say anything else, you felt his hands on your ass, repositioning you so you were sitting astride of him. He squeezed your ass and then spanking you with medium force. You hated how it elicited a soft moan from your lips.

“Spanking and leaving marks… I can definitely work with your wish” Lucifer said, his lips grazing your neck, noticing your breath hitching.

Lucifer held your legs and stood up, carrying you to the bed. You quickly put your arms around his neck and buried your head on his neck. Lucifer was definitely making you pay for temping him like that.

Mammon (Safaera - Bad Bunny x Jowell & Randy x Ñengo Flow) big Mammon energy in this song tbh

We’re drinking today / we’re spending money today / we’re smoking like a rasta today

It was the end of a particularly difficult week at RAD, full of exams and homework. To celebrate being done with it already, you put on a little party on your room, only for you and your beloved.

You usually listened to music of Devildom singers, but being done with exams made you remember a lot of your life at Earth. So you asked Mammon if you could introduce him to some music you used to listen at clubs back home. He agreed.

oh boy he didn’t see that coming

The beat was really heavy and the way you were moving your lips along with the music made him stop in his tracks and look at you, dumfounded, cheeks red and burning, not knowing what to do. Immediately, he made sure your door was closed. He didn’t want any of the brothers to look at you, not the way you were dancing.

You noticed how Mammon reacted and couldn’t help but laugh. It felt really good to see how easy it was for you to transform that demon into a blushing mess.

On purpose, you started dancing closer to him.

“You danced like-- like this on Earth?” he asked. You grinned at him.

“Only with my friends” you shrugged it off, liking how jealous he could get sometimes. “You don’t like my dancing?”

“No!” he practically screamed. “Just what-- what I’m supposed to do?”

You chuckled and put his arms on your waist. You put your arms around his neck and smirked at him. “Let’s just try it like this. C’mon, it’s all about the hips” you said, starting to move in front of him, making sure to not press yourself too much against him. You wanted to dance with him for a while before trying anything else.

“Mi bicho anda fugao’ y yo quiero que tú me lo escondas, agárralo como bonga” (My bug has escaped and I want you to hide it for me, grab it like a bong) you sing-sung, eliciting an arched eyebrow from Mammon, who couldn’t understand a thing. You just shook your head and kept dancing with him.

When the song was over you planted a chaste kiss on his lips. “Thank you for dancing with me” you grinned.

“Of c-course! You had the chance to dance with The Great Mammon, human!” he stammered, trying to brush it off.

You stuck your tongue at him, thinking you should make these tiny parties more often.

Leviathan (Rosa - J Balvin)

Definitely, you’re something else / I lose my mind when you touch me / And I don’t want to wait any more, I don’t know what will happen / But something has to happen

It wasn’t like no one had ever made a move on Levi.

Sure, he wasn’t as outspoken or fit like his brothers, but he still was one of the major demons. There was been some female demons that had talked to him at RAD, trying to get something from him.

They had all failed. Levi wasn’t really interested in any of them. Not when Ruri-chan existed!

Everything had changed when he met you, though. You made him lose his mind, quickly escalating your way, sharing a special place in his heart next to Ruri-chan.

A few months ago, you had started spending more time with him. He hadn’t expected you to confess your feelings. Neither had he expected you to kiss him. He had managed to reciprocate the kiss, leaving you with a smile he didn’t think he could provoke.

Everything was new to him. The unexpected kisses still made him yelp in surprise, and you always seemed to do it when he was playing online, making the other players laugh at his response. He would call you a normie and tell you to go away, but he really liked how much love you had to give.

For the past week, you had waited for him to finish up his games (even if it meant staying up until two or three in the morning), sitting on a bean bag he had in his bedroom. When he was over, he would turn off his computer and you would hold out your hand, inviting him to sit next to you.

You had been experimenting how far could you get on the physical side. You had taken your time, going to sweet, chaste kisses to softly inserting your tongue inside his mouth.

Also, before starting, you would put some music of your own on your phone, just to help and set the mood.

That night, you had taken a leap and when he sat next to you, you took your chances and sat on top of him, your legs on each side of his hips.

His whole face was deep red and he froze in his place. You just sat there for a moment, softly swaying your hips to the music, taking your time to make sure he was comfortable with each step you were taking. He hadn’t told you, but you were sure he hadn’t had sex before. Even if he was a demon, he deserved a lovely first time as well.

You bent down and pressed a soft kiss on Levi’s lips, grazing against them just for a bit before you returned to your sitting position. Since you felt Levi kissing you back, you repeated your actions a couple of more times. The fourth time you bent down, you felt a pair of hands clutching your hips harshly and then going away.

“I--I’m sorry!” he excused himself. “I’m sorry, I thought-- I shouldn’t--”

“That felt nice” you smiled softly, taking his hands and putting them back on your hips. You felt a twitch under you. It felt really good to feel how crazy he was about you. “You can touch me… senpai” you added, with an innocent voice.

Suddenly, you felt his lips crashing against yours, and his fingers digging deep, grabbing you harshly. After a second, you kissed him back, letting him take the lead for now.

Even if it was just kissing for now, you stayed up for hours devouring each other’s lips, Levi’s hands roaming around your waist and hips. 

You would never admit you experimented a tiny orgasm just by rubbing yourself against his body. But you did.

Satan (Blanco - J Balvin)

I eat you up without a beat, acapella / Calm down, the night awaits for us / I lit you like a candle and I can put you out when I want to

When you started being sexual with Satan, you had expected hot, angry sex. You had expected arguments to turn into rough sex. It was almost fun how predictable the Avatar of Wrath was.

You were wrong.

He liked rough sex? Yes. Sometimes it would get to that, but what really turned him on was holding power. And making you beg.

Lucifer had told everyone they had to be ready and waiting for him at the front door at 8 o’clock sharp. They had been invited to a fancy dinner at Diavolo’s, and warned everyone not to dare be late.

At 7:45, you went to Satan’s room to see if he was ready. You knew he was, he was always on time, but you wanted a chance to show him off your dress before everyone else saw it. It was a long, dark green dress. It was off shoulder, leaving your collarbone exposed. It also had a split on a side of the skirt, letting half of your thigh to be seen. You had spent hours looking for a perfect dress that would make you look sexy, confident, like a girl who was dating a demon would look.

He smirked at you, flaunting your dress in front of him. He stood up, leaving the book he was reading on a side and walked up to you.

“No kissing, I don’t want to ruin my makeup” you warned him playfully. You wanted to mess with him a little before finally kissing him.

Satan arched an eyebrow, surprised. “Is that so?” he asked. “No problem”

Before you could understand what was happened, you felt him picking you up and sitting you on his desk. You took notice in the way he fixed your dress so he wouldn’t leave any wrinkles on it. Looking right into your eyes, his hands roamed inside your dress. He hooked his fingers on your underwear and slowly took it off, leaving it on your side on the desk.

“What are you doing?” you asked, your cheeks red at his actions. He shrugged, feigning innocence.

“I’m not messing your lipstick” he assured you, his hands resting on your knees. Without taking his off of you, he parted your legs, slowly sinking on the floor. He pushed your dress up, just enough for him to press his tongue against your crotch. He didn’t waste any time, his tongue rushing to your favourite place first. He would always take his time, but right now he seemed he really wanted to get you off. You were squirming under him, which made him grab your legs harder, trying to keep you in place. Just when your legs started trembling, letting him know you were about to come undone, he stood up. You looked at him, confused and breathing heavily. He just smirked at you.

“What? I-- I was just about to” you said in between breaths.

“I know. But we really shouldn’t be late. It’s 7:59” he simply state, licking his lips and then rubbing his thumb across them. He took a step towards you and pressed a soft kiss on your cheek. “C’mon now. They must be waiting”

You grunted, jumping down from the desk. You made an attempt to grab your underwear back, but Satan was faster and took it first. He put it in the back pocket of his pants and chuckled at the look of disbelief in your eyes. He grabbed your hands and guided you towards the door, so you could meet the rest of the brothers.

Satan was going to kill you one of these days.

Asmodeus (Amarillo - J Balvin)

I don’t complicate myself  / How can I explain this to you? / I like having a good time

Sure, Asmodeus liked going out partying and you had gone out together multiple times.

But to be honest, he liked it way more when you were both alone in his room, having a private party of your own.

Since getting to know you better and asking everything he could about your past life on Earth, he had discovered he really liked a particular rhythm humans seemed to like dancing too.

It seemed as time went by, dances got bolder and bolder and he was living for it. Even if he first thought it was some sort of twerking music, he quickly learnt it wasn’t. It was not only about shaking it, but about moving your whole body in a sultry way along with the beat.

He asked you to teach him how to dance it and you did your best, even though you weren’t a pro, you knew the basics.

“MC! I’m loving this! So everyone just dances like this!? In public!?” he enthusiastically asked. His thigh was between your legs, your arms around his neck while he had a tight grip on your hips.

“Well, not necessarily as close as we are right now. But you tend to dance like this when you’re actually into the other person” you explained with a smile. You grazed his lips with yours and kissed him, noticing how much you’re both holding back. You knew it wouldn’t be long before you took this dance to his bed, but you still wanted to have a little more fun with him.

“You can also do this” you casually said, grabbing his hands taking them away from your hips. In a swift motion and without letting go of his hands, you turned him around, so his back was pressed against your front. You set both of your hands on Asmo’s hips again and kept moving with the beat of the music

You could almost see Asmo’s pink aura around him, the lust in him being greater each time his ass would brush against you. You laughed softly and placed a kiss on his neck.

“We definitely have to go to one of those clubs at Earth” he breathed out, but still moving his body along with the rhythm.

Not even a minute left, you were both in bed, bodies pressing even more against each other, hands roaming everywhere. You made a mental note of having more of these parties with Asmo.

Beelzebub (Ya no tiene novio - Sebastian Yatra, Mau & Ricky)

The last time I saw her, she was with some guy / It’s weird, now she’s on top of me / What’s happening? What’s going on? I don’t know / But it seems she wants to get revenge

You had met a minor demon at RAD. Even though Lucifer and the rest of the demons hadn’t been to keen on you dating him, you had still proceeded. He was kind, he made you laugh and was pretty good-looking. You thought he would be a nice companionship while you were staying at Devildom.

Not even a month later, you caught him fucking with other student at one of RAD bathrooms.

You thought for a second about ratting him out with Diavolo, knowing he would get sanctioned for doing that in the bathroom. You decided to wait a day to weigh in your options before doing anything.

That night, Asmo had thrown a party at one of Devildom’s private clubs. He had invited your now ex boyfriend, not knowing about what had happened earlier. Once you walked in and you saw him silently sulking near the bar, you felt like slapping yourself for forgetting to tell Asmo to revoke his invitation. You felt so much hatred towards him you didn’t think even a demon like him had ever felt such rafe within for anyone else.

“Hey, we were wondering where were you” you heard someone say and turned your head to look at Beelzebub.

That was right. Your ex hated Beel’s guts. And maybe it was because he had noticed you had a crush on the big guy, but never had the guts to actually try anything with him. There was no way one of the major demons would have anything to do with a human.

You smiled at Beel and went to the couch where his other brothers were. Amo ordered shots and you decided a little of liquid courage wouldn’t hurt. Just one shot.

Of course, you didn’t count on Devildom’s drinks being way more heavier than human alcohol.

You felt your head getting dizzy, but most of all, you felt you had the courage to do anything. You started dancing with Asmo, just playing around, feeling the music every time you moved your hips.

Asmo started dancing with someone else, so you decided to test your luck and tried pulling Beel to the dance floor. He politely declined, showing you the beer he still had in his hand. Not wanting to back down now and encouraged by the liquor you had in your body, you moved even closer to him. You were dancing now between his parted legs, under the surprised look of both Beel and Belphie, who happened to be on his side.

“Hey” Beelzebub said, taking the last sip of the bottle and leaving it on a table nearby. “Weren’t you with this other demon just last week?” he inquired, raising an eyebrow.

“Not anymore” you simply answered, still feigning innocent while you moved in front of him.

“Don’t tempt me. You’ll regret it” he warned. You stopped for a second, both excited and curious about him following that threat. You smirked and positioned yourself on his lap, your knees at each side of his hips. You saw how Belphie stood up and left, noticing how the aura around you both had drastically changed.

You started dancing again, even if it was mostly just swaying your hips on top of him. You put your right hand on the back of the sofa, just to help you steady yourself as you kept enticing him.

Soon enough, his hands went to the back of your head, his fingers intertwined in your hair and he pulled you closer to him. Beel’s lips crashed against yours and you quickly kissed him back.

You didn’t know how long it was until you felt a hand on your shoulder literally yanking you away from Beel. You looked up and saw a very tired Lucifer looking at you both.

“Take it home, not here” he simply said. You took the chance to look around you, noticing there were a lot of people who had been watching you and Beel go at it in the club. You felt your face going red and didn’t know where to look.

“So… you want to?” Beel asked, his chest going up and down as he breathed heavily. You noticed how his lips were slightly swollen and smiled a little at the thought of you doing that.

“Let’s go, Beel” you just said, standing up. Beel imitated you, towering over you. Damn, it was like he looked even taller than usual. He took your hand and guided you towards the exit of the club, his big form easily making people move away so you could walk behind him.

You didn’t even notice (not until the very next day at least), since the moment you kissed him you couldn’t think about anything or anyone else but him.

Belphegor (La santa - Bad Bunny and Daddy Yankee)

I don’t sweet talk, no / You knew what was up, baby / Romance isn’t my area, no / Don’t tell me you fell in love with me

Even though you had spent countless times daydreaming about Belphegor actually falling for you. Since you met him at the tall of that tower, you couldn’t help but think about him when you were alone in bed, even going as far as wondering what it would feel to kiss him.

So, when months later, you were in bed with him, breathing heavily after both of you had managed to come together. You tried your best not to romanticize that, but it had never happened to you before with anyone else.

“Hey” you started. “You want to go out for some food?”

“No” Belphegor simply answered.

“You’re not hungry?”

“You know this is just sex, right?” Belphegor asked, turning his head to look at you. You looked at him for a couple of seconds before rolling your eyes. “I told you this before”

“Yes, yes. It was just food, though” you excused yourself with a shrug. You sat on his bed, your back to him and put your arms up, stretching a bit, before picking up your dress from the floor and dressing yourself. You didn’t look at him as you left his room, wondering if he had been looking at you.

A couple of days later, you sent him a text, asking him to come to your room. Since you hadn’t really talked to him since the last night you spent together, Belphegor thought you wanted to tell him sex was over for you both. And it would make sense, maybe humans had a difficult time telling apart sex from feelings.

He knocked twice before letting himself in, to find you looking at yourself in the mirror. Your D.D.D. was on your desk, music coming from it. You turned around and smiled softly at him. “Hey”

“Hey. So…?” he said, sitting on your bed and looking at you. He noticed you were wearing a really short plaid skirt he hadn’t seen before. You had black over-the-knee socks, only part of your thigh being exposed. You were wearing one of your usual tops, but you definitely looked more tempting than usual.

“So what? Just wanted to see you” you casually said, shrugging. You gave the mirror one last look and turned around, looking at him.

“MC, if you don’t want to keep this going, it’s fine” Belphegor said, rolling his eyes. “There’s no rule that says you have to be okay with this”.

You walked towards him as he talked. Once you were close enough, ignoring what he was saying, you took off your top, revealing a black bra. Belphegor immediately shut up, looking up at you. He arched an eyebrow at you, his lip turned upward.

You started swaying your hips to the music that was still playing on your phone. Belphegor put his hands on the back of your thighs. He slid them upwards, reaching your ass. That was when he noticed you weren’t wearing any underwear.

“Fuck, you’re going to kill me” he breathed out, making you chuckle.

You pushed him on your bed and kissed him, moaning at the feeling of his hands squeezing your ass.

You were more than okay with the way things were. If all you had to do was restrain yourself from getting too emotionally involved, the sinful way Belphegor was thrusting up his hips was definitely worth it.

[popculturebuffet]

Toons for Our Times: The Casagrandes: Four Course Catchup

A

I take some time to catch up with everyone’s faviorite mexican-american family with a four course meal of shenanigans. 

Mexican Makeover: The thorny issue of racial identity erasure is handled via a lot of costumes, spicy food and a second Sergio, which suprisingly isn’t my own personal hell. Then again giving rusty a brother wasn’t either so there’s a precident.  Uptown Funk: Carl goes full Zach Morris, minus the white privlage, and marries Adelaide to get a free train ride, then let’s his hallucinations talk him into nearly killing everyone. At least the Leprechaun in the sandbox isn’t telling him to burn things anymore.  Bo-Bo Business: Hector won’t respect Bobby’s genius new ideas so Bobby sets shop at the near by hong’s market and procedes to nearly get murdered by bunnies. Dear god Anya was right.  Blunder Party: Ronnie Anne and Sid host their first event as a couple, a sleepover campout on the roof with their running crew. Adilade and Carl crash it causing their sibling and cousin to send the two on a dangerous scavenger hunt. As you do.  Context for what’s going on the page image under the cut. 

So yeah I originally wasn’t going to add the Casagrandes to regular coverage.... but what can I say. I had way more to talk about with the recent crop of episodes than I thought, the show often airs with loud house so it increases my coverage output and most importantly.. i’ts just damn good. While still having some kinks to work out, like forgetting to use CJ, the show is just really charming and uses i’ts premise well. So yeah when the show, at least according to the wiki, so expect full coverage of both this years halloween special and the show in full when it comes back in november... and with bobby being hypnotized into thinking he’s a cat apparently.. so yeah i’d be watching anyway, so why not go all in.  .So with that out of the way we’ve got a lot of ground to cover so, Golpeteo de pitter, which is spanish for pitter patter... maybe. If google translate mangled that I apologize. 

Mexican Makeover: 

Like with our last bit of loud house coverage, we start with the least of the episodes first. That being said this one isn’t TERRIBLE, just a waste of a good concept and something intresting to explore. It’s also a real shame given this episode is written by Lalo Alcaraz, the writer of the comic strip La Cucaracha who works as a consultant on the show and previously wrote my favorite episode of the season, Croaked!, which we’ll be talking about soon. But he seems like a great guy, but everyone dosen’t bat a thousand.  This episode centers around Rosa, whose mother Mama Lupe, and her parrot sidekick Paco, coming to visit. Paco is a recolor of sergio which actually explains a LOT honestly, as I now feel Sergio is the Quaks to Paco’s Squaks. 

As in the crappy recolor who dosen’t have as many skills. As you can tell I don’t like Sergio much. He’s annoying, not very funny and only rarely has his moments and also spent one episode constnatly being obnoxious to Bobby, who as we’ve discussed and will soon discuss some more, is my boy. My precious baby boy. So bullying him is the equilvent of slapping me with a dueling glove. So yeah Paco is better than Sergio, being more laid back, less obnoxious.. and voiced by, of all people, legendary cartonist and the namesake of the parrot sergio, Sergio Aragones. I grew up with the guy in middle and high school as he frequently, and I belivie still does, work for parody magazine MAD Magazine, and while I haven’t read it also did 80′s indie comic Groo the Wanderer with Mark Evainer of Garfield and Friends Fame. The guy’s really damn funny and it was a real treat to find out he’s involved here, especailly since the namesakes for the loud pets have all sadly passed, so it’s nice at least one pet namesake between shows gets to guest star.  But my fanboying aside, Rosa is worried she hasn’t been making her family Mexican enough and thus goes a bit absolutley nuts. She steals the kids clothes and replaces them with various traditional mexican outfits, which is a bit psycotic, and gives us a shot of carl’s ass when he compalins about his underwear being replaced, which...

Yes thank you wayne. I’m sure even some of the 7 year old’s watching this don’t want to see a fellow 7 year old’s butt. Stop that. There’s a reason the parent show stopped the gag of having Lincoln in his underwear all the time and it wasn’t just because only chris savino thought it was funny. It’s especially creepy given after Savino’s sexual harassment, John K’s reveal of being a pedophile and whatever Dan Schinder did they refuse to talk about to the public but has ciruclated around, you TIHNK the’yd be more congizant of not showing borderline child porn. I mean it’s one thing to have a kid in underpants for a gag it’s another to have a close up of his butt. Just stop. Stop.  So the episode goes as you’d expect, Rosa keeps pushing things harder without explaining herself, including trying to force the kids to speak in spanish, feeding them extra spicy food and againt eh whole replacing their clothes thing.. which\ do look nice though and we do get that blessed image of bobby up top. The kids eventually confront Rosa who reveals she just dosent’ want to give her mom a heart attack, they go along with it with Sergio feeding ronnie anne spanish, which is nice continuity as her not knowing i’ts come up before, and everyone putting on a show.. which goes horribly wrong with super spicy food understandably not being built for a 80-100 year old woman, and while i’ts nice Bobby’s buddy par, we’ll cover their episode at some point too, shows up he also heavy metals so hard it knocks her over and destroys the painting, which yeah of course. Rosa comes clean and Lupe.. is entirely fine with it and feels that culture is more in values than in what you know about it, though she will teach them a few things because knowing where you came from is still important. Also Paco returns and.. why coudln’t both he and Lupe stay. For all my issues with the episode besides Carl’s butt shot, which we’ll get to in a second, I do really like Lupe and Paco is better than sergio in every way shape and form apart from the name. just color him read and have him smother sergio in his sleep and we’re up a better parot. 

Final Thoughts for Mexican Makeover:  This one was eh. I saved my thoughts on the main plot for here because it IS a topic worth talking about: loss of cultural idetntity,  especailly for first or second generation, as our main kids and their parents are, kids, how to ballance the cultures, what really matters.. it’s all good, deep really senstiive topics that i’m in no way qulaified to entirley judge because i’m very much white and am not going to whitesplain topics that I have no personal experince with.  But I can at least say they could’ve done MORE with this. For one thing Maria was absent, and it would’ve been REALLY intresting to get her take on it since Croaked! established she didn’t really give Ronnie Anne at the very least much of a lesson in their heritage. You can’t really BLAME HER: She works a demanding job, ended up having to raise them alone, and is tired a lot. As I said i’ts a VERY complex topic that’s created some VERY brilliant works around the subject, and while i’m not asking for “Moonlight... for Kids!” I am asking you to explore something like this. How aclimated the kids are to white culture is a topic worth exploring and could’ve been a special and while yes I know, it probably would’ve been “A Very Special Episode”..sometimes you need to tackle complex topics for kids. The Proud Family was also a screwball comedy, but it tackled the civil rights movement, xenophobia and other heavy subjects from time to time.. it also thought music piracy was the root of all evil but as I said no one bats a thousand. And it wouldn’t lack jokes as Alcaraz’s career is in satire: He knows how to write jokes about heavily charged topics and be clever about it on the freaking comics page, and given The Casagrandes like it’s sister show is basically a comic strip in animated form, he has the right format tow ork with it just ultimately becomes instead the cliche “person is coming time to hide everything we’ve been doing plot”, which has never been that good and is even worse on top of a more interesting idea. I don’t expect the show to be super deep all the time but I expect better than broaching a clearly difficult subject and not really giving it any weight. 

Uptown Funk: Now we’re past the one I was eh on because I knew how it’d turn out, and somehow got even less on board as it wasted a good concept and good ideas, and to the one out of the four I was most pumped for. And of all things it was a CARL episode.  I passingly mentioned last time I didn’t like Carl, and that opinon’s started to change. I’m still not a huge fan, his voice is grating and he STILL hasn’t given  up on Lori seasons later after Clyde long has and the other show long regonized this was a bad idea. Buuut i’ve come to realize he has his moments, with Monster Cash, which i’ll cover very soon for Halloween Havoc, and this very episdoe which is utterly fantastic. Though part of that is also the supporting cast, who were the reason I was pumped.  I talked abotu the Changs Breifly in my Operation Dad review but since Adalaide and Stanley are more promenent here and Becca will be, if not in person, in Croaked!, i’ll gladly dive into them. The Changs are the Casagrandes next door neighbors and EASILY one of the best parts of the show. A lovely interacial nuclear family, the four are all really likeable and distinct. I’ve talked about Sid before, so we’ll save more of that for in a bit. Stanley her dorky dad voiced by Kim Jeong who works as the subway conductor for Great Lakes City. He’s just a treat, in both sense of hte word, and really sweet interacting with his daughter and has a tendency to make small apperances due to Ronnie Anne and Sid riding the subway wherever they need to go. As i’ve said it’s nice to see Ken Jeong get to play a goofy, normal-ish dad and be funny without having to either play an over the top lunatic, weirdo or asshole. I love community but Chang could be a lot but this Chang is alright.. and probably dosen’t speak to his community college student brother that often for his family’s saftey. He does have Rabi Chang, his other brother over a lot though. Look if Teen Titans go can be jammed into the same multiverse as ok ko and steven universe, this show can take place in the same unvierse as community. 

Becca is stan’s wife and the head zookeeper at the zoo as well as the runner of their various shows, voiced by melissa joan hart and while not around as mcuh as her husband, is still a delight and it’s a delight to have clarissa back. Also together with her husband they make one hell of a couple to get sandiwthced between.. and no shame there, and yes i’m aware they have kids, i’d be happy to help raise them. I”m no asshole. 

Anyways speaking of those kids, we lastly have Adalaide, the star of this show and an adorable 6 year old and as Sid calls her “A sass bucket” which is accurate both for 6 year olds in general, and for this one, though like most kids her age she flips from being adorable to entirely blunt when warranted. She also has a Frog, named Froggy II. We’ll get into what happened to Froggy I and how she met Froggy II in October. 

So yeah two of my faviorite side characters, I consider sid main, PLUS one of my other faviorites Vito in a supporting roll. What’s not to love? As for the plot Carl brushes off Adalaide, because he’s a little jerk festival, but changes his tune when he overhears Stanley offering to have Adilaide join him on the train even see the control. Carl being a fanboy for trains among many other things which I shall list now: Things Carl’s a Fanboy For: 1. Money 2. Petty Schemes 3. Zack Morris 4. The Ladies 5. AC Slater 6. Luchadores 7. Trains. 

He naturally has his eyes light up like a christler buliding and given numbers 2 and 3 on the list quickly comes up with a scheme to get that train ride, since Stanely offered her a plus one. Granted he could’ve PROBABLY just asked Stanley for a ride and being the upstanding guy he is, and given Carl’s also a train nerd and stanley is their king, he would’ve said yes, but this is the same boy who thought his adult cousin’s same aged girlfriend would want to go out with him when said girlfriend lives in a house with at least 3 girls close to his age instead she could set him up with. The boy is more of a short term planner, like most schemers in fiction really, he sees the dollar signs like eddy from ed edd n eddy and has some good ideas, but not the more obvious solutions that aren’t as scheme based around him. I swear if this kid didn’t have a moral center this would be him in 50 years

I mean the only reason the boy hasn’t used sharks or explosives is because his parents and grandparents won’t’t let him.

Anyways Addie is skepteical for about 5 seconds and my one real complaint about the episode is it felt like she was genuinely skeptical, and playing him slightly with their games.. but it turns out nope she just genuinely bought it. But as smart as she is she’s also only 6, and her being adorably trusting works just as well.  So they play games. They have a tea party, with carl wearing a truly glorious peacock that I guarnatee sid has worn both for playing with her sister and just to feel fancy. They then play with Froggy.. which gets uncomfotable as Adaladie forces Carl to kiss him, and then basically goes full on “NOW KISS” when it fails to turn froggy into a prince and Froggy runs because he wisely dosen’t want to make out with Carl, and is omly passable and not disturbing instead because she’s 6 and dosen’t know better. They then play chase froggy, which Carl wins but gets flies thrown at him in hte process so does he really?  They get to their final game superheroes, with carly playing his faviorite el falcone.. but also being the hostage while Adalaide saves him because this is 2020, she don’t need to be no damsel in distress. And this to me is why the episode works.. Carl IS a huge jerk here, manipulating a younger child who just wants to be his friend to get a train ride he could’ve gotten just by asking her.. but he gets put through the ringer, and most of his “humilation” is stuff that isn’t that bad: Tea is alright, there’s no shame in wearing makeup or a veil, and being rescued by a woman is awesome. It’s just Carl’s own baby’s first toxic masuclinity that makes these situations minus kissing froggy uncomfortable, so it adds to it as Addy’s doing nothing wrong really and any pain on carl’s part is an accident on hers. She’s just an imaginatiee little lady and he’s jsut a jerk. But they pair well together his underserved ego with her adorablility and creativity and as we’ll see smarts. Part of the reason I was so excited is their one real scene togehter in monster cash, when Carl is throiwng everyon’es money back at them which is also the best bit of the episode and we’ll get to that when we cover it her response is a stern “Don’t you even dare” and he hands it back to her because you don’t mess with Addy. 

Addy then brings up pretend marriage and while Carl has his first , and probably not last, panic attack over comitment he does realilze this can be used and gets his train ride over it, with the two taking Froggy along as their baby. But being Carl, he’s not ready for marriage to a strong judge on the supreme court who makes him change the diapers and humilaties him in public, whcih i’d be more upset about if again he didn’t deserve it. We also have VITO! Local itallian, the Mercado’s best customer and Hector’s only friend. He also has his two winer dogs with him which.. yes. Just yes. And they have matching hats and sweaters because Vito is the best.  Hedecides to toss froggy and book it for the train car. Adalaide realizes she’s been played and is understandably pissed but sadly, needing to find her friend her husband threw, dosen’t storm into Stanley’s conductor car and throw him off the train.

Instead Carl geeks out with Stanley over the train, which means he probably is meant to marry into this family, and Stanley’s glart awards. When Stanley’s called away to deal with the frog fracas, Carl is left told not to touch anything. So the obvious happens.. Carl hallunciates a bunch of pre school level choo choos who tell him to press the button. I love .. everything about this. It’s just pure hilarity and insanity and I’m here for it and a really creative, and insane gag and a nice take on the shoulder devil trope. 

Naturally Carl, being Carl, presses the big button which turns on the ac and then blasts Stan’s train mix. Which sadly isn’t just this over and over and over and over again. 

With Carl possibly banned from trains for life he naturally turns to his wife for help, who is none to happy with his bullshit, and not willing to help him because why would she? But Carl.. genuinely apologizes. It’s why I mentioned he has a moral center. Unlike say Zack morris 80% of hte time or Eddy from Ed Edd N Eddy at his worst, Carl can FEEL human emotions like guilt, and while he does need Addy’s help to not get in massive trouble, you can tell he genuinely feels bad about hurting her and is only asking because she’s his only hope and for the sake of the various passengers who if she dosen’t step in will go off the rails on a crazy train, she agrees.  Turns out though Addy is pretty badass on top of being adorable, and uses Froggy II as a grappling hook, then turns out to have inherited her dad’s knowledge of trains, which was foreshadowed earlier as she said she’s gone with him a lot and was bored at his offer and won two time junior glart awards.. which given that likely includes teens and tweens, is Valeria Richards levels of acomplished. God damn kid. Kudos. Stanley gets understandably mad at carl But Addy covers for him and since she saved her dad’s awards, Carl can live.. and come back sometimes. Carl, first through his action figure then himself apologizes for being a jerk toa ddy and manipulating her.. a genuine one that shows he means it and finds she’s pretty cool. Gues this marriage CAN be saved. And so we end this episode as you’d expect. 

No.. for one thing i’td be leprechaun-train monstrosity. For another the happy couple team up as superheros and thwart froggy being hit by a train , who greatfully smooches carl who, having grown, takes it in stride. Happy end

Final Thoughts: I love this one. It was funny, intresting and had carl develop as a character while fleshing addy out and giving us some great stanley stuff. It made having a jerk as the protagnist here work and made me go from begrudgingly liking carl to actuallyl iking him. while he’s pretty terrible here he suffers for most of his actions and learns from it, and he and Adelade ahve a great dynamic that we thankfully do indeed see again this very marathon. But first. IT’S BOBBY TIME. 

Bo-Bo Buisness It’s my first episode starring Bobby on this blog and i’ts been TOO long and there will be more to come I promise. As i’ve made no secret of Bobby is my faviorite character here, and as you can tell that’s a tight race, and is just.. great here. The move to the city fleshed him out by giving him drive with his desire to run the mercado, franchise it, and go to buisness school to do all of it properly, while keeping his loveable sweetness, stupidity and relationship with Lori which has gone from deeply unhealthy to awwwwwwwww. 

So naturally I was on board for another Bobby Bonaza, and this one like most of his eps is pretty good: This time around it focuses on Bobby’s hard work ethic and youthful energy..and it leading him AWAY from the mercado.  Bobby tries setting up free wifi and a table like a cafe in the Mercado, but Hector flatly refuses and refuses anthing Bobby comes up with, citing his 30 years running the place sucessfully, while Bobby cites his less than a year of it and his book of ideas, though Hector refuses to budge. And what I like here is that while hector IS still the bad guy here, it’s not in a one dimensional “Jerk for the episode’ way this show’s sister episode tends to fall into. Or treating a character being a jerk like their the wronged party, or.. you get the idea. Point is hector has SOME points: He has run a small buisness in a huge city for 30 years, beating out gentrification, racisim, big buisness and other threats to run at thriving mercado, even with another market across the street. He also owns a sizeable apartment with room for two diffrent families, 5 adults, 6 kids, a dog and an asshole, and his wife is super for the building as a whole. He’s done MARVELOUSLY for himself and deserves to be proud and his stubborness likely comes from just how much he’s been able to acomplish while others fell around him.  However.. Bobby is still sympathetic. It’s very clear working here is his dream job: His plan for his life is to expland the place into a franchise and run it himself one day, he’s the clear sucessor and Hector wont’ be around forever.. probably for a LONNNG time still, and his ghost will probably haunt the place with Rosa’s scolding him, but since ghosts can’t own property probably, someone has to take over. Bobby is his clear sucessor and his ideas aren’t bad.. poorly exceuted in this case, but not bad. As we’ll see in a bit the table idea can work, bobby just didn’t think it through and Hector could’ve HELPED HIM with it and as we’ll see most of the ideas Bobby ends up doing elsehwere are just common sense for this day and age and the one that isn’t is the one that does him in. But Hector, likely seeing any change as a threat to his bottom line and his legacy, rejects him out of hand. H’es likely scared that his protege can do BETTER, or worried that one wrong move could cost him his life’s work. I also find this ironic since a few episodes ago, though I still need to see it, Bobby himself had the same problem letting go and letting someone else control the buisness with his sister and cousins running the place while he had his anniversary with Lori. Bobby DESERVES to be given his shot.. and so when he decides to quit the mercado in a huff and take his table and his ideas with him.. you agree with him. Sure he’s leaving the family legacy.. but if Hector wont let him make it his own or appricate how much fucking work he does or love he has for the place, then what legacy is there? That got heavy. We get a great joke next as bobby makes a metaphor about the dinosaurs.. then wonders what happened to them and like me on any given day stops to google it.. and since he uses a laptop unlike me and my desktop computer or phone, and his table, he inadveratly sets up a table outside.. which fixes the problems with his idea, if by accident and impresses Mr.Hong the owner of a nearbye market who could use a fresh faced go getter like bobby and hires him right on sight and agrees to start putting his ideas in. 

And the wifi table.. is a huge sucess and putting it outside gave the customers more room, so it fixes the one flaw in his plan, and serving out cafe and snacks I can’t prounounce or spell properly, bobby shows his idea WOULD have worked: instead of creating loiterers it simply gives customers like Vito, who pretty much lives at the Mercado anyway so why not, a place to sit, eat and check their email and stuff, and bobby’s a good enough salesman he can convince them to eat and given the mercado already has a customers only policy on toilets.. they could’ve just made the table purchase only, and once per hour, and their regulars would’ve lapepd it up. Hector refuses to accept this though and stews and drives sergio and carl away.. which yeah if you can out asshole Sergio, you may be the bad guy here.  The two feud over dinner to their family’s confusion, and to Rosa’s annoyance and dope slaps when she spills her hard worked on food over their petty sniping but bobby’ sstar continues to rise with a music video for hongs including that bit seen above, rapping and just.. whatever the fuck that video was it was the third best rap in nick history behind that “nnnnnnick” rap and this. 

So yeah with the comeerical, Hongs has tons of customers, and Hector stews more. However things can’t be good forever, as the last 4 years have proven they can be bad for an especially long time but good? Sadly no, as Bobby gets what he always wanted: The keys to the store.. maybe not the store he wanted but still and gets to run hongs solo.  Sadly though Bobby ends up fucking up, letting people bring their pets which wrecks the place, and ends up with bobby getting swarmed by an ever multiplying batch of bunnies. 

As Bobby is cuddled to death, his exact words, Hector finally relents and saves the boy from literally drowning, and the two get the rabbits out.. but well with social media and all that hong knows what happen and bobby’s fired. But back at the Mercado, Hector rehires bobby, and genuinely apologizes. I do feel it comes a bit quick.. but I guess after your grandson almost got bunnied to death, you rethink your life choices. Bobby admits he was in over his head while Hector genuinely admits Bobby has good ideas and he was being a stubborn jackass and decides he can use them after all. Starting with the commerical where the two perform a nice mexican song, the whole family adorably dresses up like various mercado items as seen at the veyr top and we also get this. 

Yes, yes to all of this. And we’re out.. for a moment then back in but you get it. 

Final Thoughts for Bo Bo Buisness: While not the best Bobby episode, that would be the one that introduces Par and again i’ll get to that one, this one is still pretty good. While I do feel Hector turns around a bit quick, otherwise it’s funny enough and has enough character stuff with bobbby, even if i’ts mostly just from knowing him in this series to work out. I”m not ANTI-nonsense episodes, I just don’t want them there when ther’es clearly a way heavier issue your steping around. This wasn’t the BEST the series has done comedy wise but it was fun enough. Alright one more...

Blunder Party: 

And we end on another pretty good one. And oddly for this show it’s the only Ronnie Anne focused one of the four. Usually she’s dead center but it seems the series is getting comfortable enough, much like it’s parent show, to ease out of focusing on just one character as the viewpoint and letting the others breathe. Still this was a good un and let’s talk about it. 

It’s Party Time and Ronnie and Sid are having a sleepover on the roof. Their first party of a couple.. i’m so proud of by baby gays.. or gabies as I call them. I mean.. yes i’m not subtle with my shipping but they act less like close friends and more like two tiny lebisan awww factories.  Anywho the whole crew’s here, which as with a lot of things this episode let’s talk about them: Casey, Nikki and Sameeer were introduced in a loud house I haven’t seen and naturally carried over to the show proper, showing up when Lincoln visted in an episode I will defintely cover at some point, and accepting Ronnie Anne wasn’t a born city kid. They have neat designs, are nicely diverse, and while lthey do need some fleshing out, given that like Lincoln’s own friend team squad they show up in a good chunk of ronnie anne episodes, we got time for that so we’re good. There’s also new addition Laird, the school’s own screech powers, and your standard awkward dork whose not that great. So yes even this group has a waste of a character, though he’s not AS bad as rusty or useless as Liam, just feeling a bit less essentail than Ronnie Anne’s running crew, who match her general vibne, and Sid whose her soulmate. 

But as the pizza arrives via Sergio, because he has to be useful at least once, our heroes soon find the party crashed by Great Lakes City’s newest power couple: Carl and Adelaide! Looking like their fucking team rocket. Seriously I had other options for this episode, including bobby sliding around on his back comically, so it says something just how great that iamge is and how fucking gloriously smug yet awesome they look. 

The two want to join and even outdo the big kids at stretcing and flinging pizza, but as many little siblings like myself know all too well, the big siblings don’t want you there. I can’t count the number of times I wanted to hang with my brothers friends, but he refused frome lementary all the way up to high school. It was maddening. SO I sympathize with them, but i’ve grown tor ealize grown up kids want to have their own time and fun so I sympathize with both parties: Carl and Addy just want pizza and games and to hang with the big kids and Ronnie Anne and Sid just want to host a party as a couple without watching their siblings. 

However Carl forces a compromise.. by using his special mood.. whining loudly and summoning Rosa.. whos eriously just.. teleports behind the kids. I thought only Lucy could do that in this unvierse. Respect. 

Rosa however is resonable. While she dosen’t want the kids to be excluded, and it’s understandable and nice of her: The kids just wan’t to feel included and Rosa is resonable enough to say they will have to leave eventually wehn it’s time for bed. A fair compromise. Also i’d wonder why Adelaide is here but I assume the Chang Parents had her come over there, which Rosa being the lovely person she is agreed to. I didn’t get into her above but I do like Rosa a lot as a character as she’s a resonable authority figure.. but liable to slip into her own foibles, and is kind and loving with her family if strong and strict when she needs to lower the boom. Mostly on Hector who i’m amazed survived last episode and getting his own grandson to leave in one piece. 

But yeah I mean I can only imagine what’s going on there...

Also  sex obviously, but since I obviously can’t and won’t show you that, have this video to jodeci’s freak n you instead and let your imagination fill the blanks if you want. 

I will use this song any time I can. Anyway, Sid being the peach she is tries to convince Ronnie anne all is not lost. Earlier she used a metaphor saying how they had all the perfect ingredents like a smore, and now adds pizzza.. which ot be fair a pizza smore, but using bagles or something sounds great, but pizza on a smore sounds like my own personal hell.. though Sid likes it so i’ll let it live.. for now. That’s also why Sergio is alive. FOr now. 

But even sid has a limit and the power couple soon break those: An attempted scary ghost story session goes bad as they break poor sameer by predicting eveyr story he has even the one the poor kid wings, and he and his prehinsile hair are sad. Cheer up kid at least you can probably go live on Krakoa at some point. Free health care, free housing, living on a giant  paradise. Good stuff.

The two then ruin an attempted dance party, which unlike the above which was just bad timing, this time their just obnoxious as addy wnats to ballet, and Carl wants to... put it to his butt whle playing fart noises. Okay for starters. 

Secondly if he wanted to do that he could’ve got a cd of Nickleback cheaper and no one would’ve noticed.. then again they might of thought the poor boy had Dihera.  Somehow this isn’t the last draw. Nikki, being a real one, holds a gross drink contest which carl spits out on the crowd.. which really WHAT DID YOU ALL EXPECT. This is how those things end. WIth spit up and fury. 

Anyways enough is enough, so our ambigiously gay duo hatch a plan and send the little kids on a scavanger hunt. So while the Ronnie’s Running Crew have fun, and spot bobby and his best buddy par and bobby flop on some mangos and slide around on mango juice all episode as a result, the dream team work on getting that list done. From getting one of Hector’s nosehairs to Mr. Nakamura’s faviorite sweatervest (which takes a while) , to Carlota’s diary they do it with flair. Of note is the two having to steal Sergio’s crackes.. and nearly getting murdeered by the parot who seriously looks like he’s about to skin a child.. thankfully when HE does a shining by crashing through the door, he just gets stuck so no child murder tonight. Horay! Well until Carlota finds out her diary missing then this happens. 

But things get dire when the kids think they see the smaller kids get stuck in par’s truck. Thankfully bobby knows where his best friend is at all times, because he’s consdierate and knows where he’s headed next, and the kids end up following him, while Sameer stays behind to distract with his hair puppets since Rosa wants to little ones to go to bed. 

Sid and Ronnie anne and co head to the dump , shenagins insue and they think they lost their sibling and cousin.. only to find them, the two having gotten a mango that looks like Vito and won.. and Sid and Ronnie apologizing and admitting their scam. In a nice bit though while Carl gets upset, Addy quickly points out they DID ruin their fun, and crash the party, and Carl begrudingly admits he’s wrong. Again, keep them married show. Carl needs Addy to keep him honest and Addy needs carl to hide the bodies of her enmies. They make a good pair, just like their big sis and cousin. 

Anyways, Ronnie Anne and Sid ask to have the kids for just a bit longer to repair them and again this is why I repsect Rosa. She finds out the kids disobeyed her or at least found a loophole but isn’t mad and gets both sides learned from it. Our kidlets get a giant ass smore for their heroic efforrts, Nikki returns Carlota’s diary in secret to avoid their deaths while Sergio is arrested for attempted murder of two minors. A good night all around. Bobby joins in to close out, which isn’t met with any resitance because who dosen’t love bobby, while Hector wakes up to the vito mango and wonders what happened to him.. okay apparently Vito’s been turned into a non-sapient piece of fruit before and I want details show.  Final Thoughts Finally: A pretty good one. Carly and Adleadie continue to prove to  a hell of a combo, whie the proven dream team of Sid and Ronnie Anne work well off their younger counterparts. It overall leads to a fun episode with lots of great gags.. and also bobby sliding around on his back comically like he’s a goddamn roomba and I am hear for it. Just overally really good stuff and a really fun plot. This really feels like stife of the party done right. Both sides screw up but make up instead of one just getting their way because protaganist. And overall this batch of episodes was really damn good and I look forward to watching the series reguarlly from now on. Until then, just one more day then this blog gets all spooky! SO stay tuned, stay safe and go team venture! Play us out nickleback! WAIT WHY DID i SAY THAT NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOO

[plumblossomkun]

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 2.5: 「𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚎 / 𝙸'𝚖 𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝚝𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 / 𝙸'𝚖 𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞, 𝚝𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌」

word count: 3.7k

setting: student!Taeyong x writing assistant!Female Reader, University!AU

chapter summary: in which we learn what Taeyong did to y/n, and why, after all these years, there has only been silence. 

a/n: i mentioned i wanted to do this story justice, and it needs to be a human sort of story for that. these are real things, parts of me, as all my y/n’s are. of course, we all put bits of ourselves into our writing. this fragment just happens to be a darker bit. with that being said, please read the warnings.

warning[s]: mentions of prior self-harm. descriptions of anxiety and feelings of despair. angst. 

reminder: i will italicize flashbacks in their entirety & indicate any changes in scene or point of view in bold. and if you’re wondering where the chapter titles are from, they’re lyrics from the songs on the playlist below.

tags: @starxblossom​, @nsheeteesmain​, @cutehardcore​, @bunny-doyounq​​ ♥ send me an ask if you would like to be added!

moodboard | playlist | main masterlist | a map of the campus | extras | fun facts

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The next day, 8:45am—

— Learning Commons and Library

“Why did I let you rope me into a 9:15 class?” Jaehyun whines, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he waits by the library’s café for his cup of morning coffee. “No one gets up this early for a Life Writing class.”

You munch on your croissant and take a second to swallow before answering. “Yeah, well, you’re getting an extra two units for being a Peer Educator with me this time, and you’re not actually in the class, so you don’t have to do the work again. Plus, it looks good on a transcript.”

“You’d look good on a transcript,” is his feeble attempt at a retort, and you nearly choke on your croissant, snickering. He’s never been much of a morning person, and neither are you, but you don’t need coffee to cope with your lack of sleep; the dawn’s chill is usually enough.

He follows blearily after you as you hold the door open for him. “Come on, Jae. We’re gonna be late.”

9:00 am—

— St. Joseph’s Hall

Hesitantly, you knock on the frame of the slightly ajar door of Professor Juan Madrid and listen closely to the sounds just beyond the wood. Wind chimes and raindrops tinkle, a chair creaks, and then the door swings open.

“Y/n!” the professor exclaims, putting down his wooden tumbler on the metal cabinet next to him, spreading his arms wide for a hug, face wrinkling as he smiles.

“Hi, Juan!” you laugh, embracing the slighter man. He, like his office, smells like spring, like vanilla and lavender and a hint of green tea, and his left eye (you’ve never asked whether it’s a fake eye or just a lazy one) doesn’t focus on you when you sit in the armchair opposite his, tossing your backpack on the ground and sinking into the cushions. 

“Where’s Jae?” he asks, swiveling the office chair around so he can face you properly. On his computer monitor, a video titled “Relaxing Nature Sounds for Meditation” plays, filling every corner of the lamp-lit room with the sounds of a forest glade, twittering birds, bubbling creeks, and the murmurs of an afternoon breeze. 

You remember the first time you had set foot in his office, and you’d been sure you’d stepped into a therapy session by accident instead of office hours, because of how calming the vibe of the room was— and still is.

“Bathroom.” You lean back in your seat and let out a long breath, so that you can take a deeper one in, gathering the freshness of the forest’s song into your lungs. “How have you been?”

“Good, good.” He stares at you, brows raised as you blow out even more air with your hands pressed to your cheeks. “Did something happen over the summer?”

“Mm… kind of?” Eyes glued to a spot somewhere between the door and the wall behind him, your head whirls as you consider which parts of the story you think your lungs can handle sharing. “This summer felt longer than the last one.”

The sounds of skateboard wheels grinding against pavement and loud chatter waft up through the window as students make their way towards their 9:15 classes, and he goes over to shut it, then sits back down and gestures for you to finish your thought. 

“Kenneth broke up with me.” There’s a lump in your throat that hadn’t been there when you’d told Jaehyun and Xuxi about it, because Juan is one of the few people who has read all your poetry and prose and seen the dried tear stains on the papers you’ve submitted to him over the past two years, all the crumpled corners and the red ink and no censors. “He said… he didn’t want to drag me along with him in the future. He stopped saying ‘I love you’ to me, and I knew.”

He takes a sip of tea from his tumbler, then sets it aside to lean forward and look you right in the eye. “Are you okay?” 

“Even though I saw it coming, it still really sucked.” You close your eyes to shield yourself from the memories burning your throat, so that your next breath comes slow and steady instead of shaky. “I cried for three days. I cried for so long and so hard that I begged myself to stop crying because I was so tired of it.”

Juan nods, but doesn’t interject as you pause to take in another breath.

“I think I’m tired of relationships,” you sigh, looking down at your fists and unfurling them slowly to bring the blood back into your fingertips. At some point as you’d started talking, your nails had sunk into your palms, leaving pale crescent moon marks throbbing in the skin. “I just need a break to focus on me.”

“I agree,” he says, shooting you two thumbs up. “Boys are not worth it. You have a lot on your mind. Don’t forget—”

“—to witness instead of relive the memories,” you finish. The heaviness in your throat relents, just a little, but enough so you can chuckle. “I know, I know.”

He beams. “Exactly.”

A soft knock, and then Jaehyun peeks through the door. “Hey, professor.”

“Ah, Jae!” Juan stands to greet him, and they embrace briefly. He points him to the second open chair beside you. “How was your summer? We were just talking about Y/N’s.”

“Good, good.” He flops into the seat, but not before slipping his hand into yours and looking you in the eye apologetically. “Sorry, I heard a little bit of what you were saying when I was coming back from the bathroom. Kenneth really did that?”

“Yeah, it’s okay. I’m good. I got this.” This time, when the words come out of your mouth, they don’t feel like you’re lying to yourself. They don’t feel like poison.

“I know, angel. You’re tough as hell.” He squeezes your hand tight, then disconnects his fingers from yours and turns back to Juan with a twinkle in his eye. “So, how was going back to Spain?”

“It was nice. Good weather. A little family drama, but it was okay.” He smiles at the thought of his homeland. 

“And what about Rosa?” Jaehyun prods, grinning.

“Yeah, spill the tea!”  you gasp. “How’s that going for you?”

“Well, you know… she has a really comfortable job there. She makes a lot of money. Her house is basically a mansion.”

You clap your hands together in excitement. “Ooh, Juan… are you gonna go live with her?”

Juan smiles, shaking his head. His one good eye looks up to the ceiling, cheeks turning pink. “I’m considering it.”

“Juan has a sugar mama,” Jaehyun coughs under his breath, and the two of you snicker.

“You don’t need to worry about us, we’re graduating next year. And you won’t have any more Peer Eds to help you with Life Writing.” You press your hands to your cheeks again, but this time it’s because of the smile splitting your face. “Do it!”

“Thank you for the support, you two.” He pauses, casting a puzzled glance in Jaehyun’s direction. “Wait, did you just say ‘sugar mama’?”

“Uh-huh,” Jaehyun says, wiping tears from his eyes, chest heaving as he chortles. “Yes, I did.”

Juan throws his head back and laughs.

9:19am— —Kenna Hall

a/n: This is where the timelines of Mugunghwa and In Real Life align! You don’t *need* to read all of IRL in order to understand the plot of Mugunghwa, but you should read part five for context, linked here. I would have written it out on my end, but it would just be tedious, and Rae’s works are lovely and I recommend them! ♥

11:24am—

“I don’t like the feel of the classroom, but we’ll see if the students’ energy will make up for it,” Juan sighs, tucking his folders under his arm as the three of you exit the classroom and make your way back towards St. Joseph’s. “I’ll see you two Thursday; I’ll let you know if they approve a classroom change to O’Connor.”

“Bye, Juan,” you and Jaehyun say together, waving goodbye as the professor heads up the stairs to his office.

As soon as he is out of earshot, Jaehyun lets out a whiny groan and leans his forehead on your shoulder, putting all his weight on it. “I don’t think I can handle Life Writing as a 9:15 class, y/n.”

You pat the top of his head. “You just need to eat breakfast instead of eating one meal a day. What would your followers do, if they found out?”

“Don’t expose me! The mom followers will flood my comment section.”

“Then eat breakfast and I won’t have to. Plus, you’ll have the energy to come to class with me without coffee!” You link your right arm in his left. “Wow! Amazing! Healthy eating habits!”

He snorts, and reaches over to pinch your nose. “I don’t appreciate that sarcastic tone of yours, y/n.”

You lay your head across his shoulder, humming as he leads you behind St. Joseph’s, away from the hustle of students heading towards their next class. “Love you too, Jae.” 

It’s not golden hour yet, not even close, but the section of campus just off the main path is magnificent in the sunlight hiding just behind the fading gray gloom of the morning. You reach into the leaves to touch the ruffled petals of a peach-orange rose swaying in the wake of a ripple of wind, rubbing your thumb across its almost-translucent surface, mouth parting in awe at its softness.

Discreetly, Jaehyun lifts his phone to snap a picture of you, and you catch the sudden movement at the last second and duck your head behind your hands with a shriek.

He sighs. “Are you ever gonna let me post a picture with your face in it?”

“You have 8,000 people following you, Jae. You can tag me, but my profile is on private for a reason.” You peek from behind your fingers to check if he’s still trying to take the picture, and sigh in relief when you see his phone tucked back into his jeans pocket. “If they want to see my face, they can ask to follow me, but I don’t want any of those 8,000 people coming and commenting on my photos. I’m not nearly as attractive as you.”

He runs a hand through his hair, pursing his lips. “They’re not crazy like that.”

You wince as you accidentally drag your finger over a thorn that hasn’t been clipped off. “You never know, Jae. Especially when it comes to people online.” 

He grabs your wrist before you can walk down the path without him, and chucks you under the chin gently. “You’re beautiful. Don’t you dare think otherwise.”

You roll your eyes, but sink into his side when he opens his arms for a hug. “If you say so, frat boy,” you mumble, clinging to his warmth.

“What do you have against frat boys?” The two of you start down the smoothed stone, footsteps echoing even without walls. Tiny pinpoints of light shine through the wooden slats above, tendrils of the wisteria trees’ branches and their lilac-colored flowers creating a makeshift canopy.

“...Kenneth was part of a fraternity.” You rub your temples, your eyes losing focus as memories push at the back of your mind, demanding to be put on replay. You inhale— no— and exhale— don’t think about that— through your nose, placing a hand over your mouth as if it’ll help you keep them back.

“Hey, hey.” Jaehyun’s hand on your waist tightens, and he pulls you closer to him, onto the grass just off the side of the stone, tipping your head into his chest. “I know you’re tired of crying, and that asshole definitely doesn’t deserve your tears, angel, but it’s alright if you do. Count to twenty, and we’ll go from there, okay?”

You bite your lip and whisper, “When his friends came over, he always wanted to drink with them. He’d forget he was in a call with me.”

One. Two. Three.

Jaehyun doesn’t say anything, only wraps his arms more securely around you, placing his head atop yours with a sigh.

Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine.

You focus on the sensation of his chest rising and falling against your forehead, the soft thump-thump of his heart, the tension of his jaw, instead of the way your breath starts to stutter and halt. “He’d spend hours at the gym and with his friends and he always came back to me at night but it felt like I had to make appointments to spend time with him.”

Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. 

“He let me say ‘I love you’ to him for two weeks without reciprocating or even trying to talk to me about the problem. I wish he’d talked to me.”  

Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty.

You see rather than feel the first tear fall from your face and splatter on the floor. And then another, and then a dozen more, and you can’t stop shivering like you’re in the midst of winter even with Jaehyun holding you tight. “My father came into the room, and he asked me what was wrong, and I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t tell him, because he couldn’t understand. I know he cares, I know, but he can’t understand.”

Another shuddering breath has you clutching at the fabric of his jacket. The tears slow, but don’t stop, and you swallow a sob before it can escape you. “Can we… sit down?”

“Of course, angel,” he murmurs, wiping the moisture from your cheeks with his sleeve. He sits with you on the bench furthest from the path.

“I don’t think I can cry any more,” you admit, examining your fingers as they tremble uncontrollably. 

“Is that a good thing?”

“I don’t think so.” The wysterias stir as a squirrel scrambles across their wood, a crow tailing it playfully, and you take a deep breath, gathering the sweet scent of their flowers to fortify yourself. “I need to feel the emotions properly. I can’t just push them down and forget about them.” 

A fallen rose petal grazes your skin, and you raise your left arm to brush it off. Halfway through the motion, Jaehyun touches the inside of your wrist, gentle beyond measure, running his fingertips over the raised white skin of the scars. He’s seen them before, you know he has, but you’ve never told him anything about them, and he’s never asked.

“Do you want to know?”

“Only if you want to tell me. I’m here to support you, y/n, no matter what. Whatever you need, you tell me. If you want me to shut up and listen, I can do that.”

“Have I told you I appreciate you?” you sigh.

“Not nearly as often as you should.”

“I take it back.”

“No, no! You tell me often enough.”

You laugh hollowly, but your eyes return to the scars on your wrist, and then they are all you can see. Dozens and dozens of thin lines, some glimmering smooth, some thin, some wider, others jagged and uneven— but all of them a reminder.

Not even the sweet wysteria can help you with the winter frost that blossoms inside your chest. You hold Jaehyun’s hand with a grip so tight your knuckles turn white. The rising sun frees itself of the morning’s pallor, and you close your eyes as its carnelian radiance washes over you.

It gives you just enough strength to speak.

Witness, instead of relive.

“The last time was just a little over four years ago.”

4 years ago, only hours after that kiss—

You jiggle the doorknob of the door to the pint-sized apartment that Taeyong shares with Ten and Johnny, but to no avail. They’ve left the door ajar before, and sometimes they just forget to lock it, but this is, unfortunately, not one of those times. Fists clenched, you bang on the door, praying that one of them is awake. A horrible, jagged feeling, something like lightning, fizzles down your spine, striking the breath from your lungs with each passing second. 

Someone groans hoarsely, and then the dark wood swings back to reveal Johnny looking down at you in sleepy confusion. He opens the door wider when he sees that it’s you, pushing his hair back over his forehead and rubbing his eyes. “What the— y/n? It’s so early…”

You look past him. The apartment is dark and silent, but you can make out the faint smell of instant ramen and the silhouette of piles of laundry on the ratty gray couch. If Taeyong was there, the couch would be clear and clean, a pot of soup made from scratch bubbling gently on the stove, the lavender candle on the countertop lit and filling the room with its gentle aroma. But it’s not. And when you meet Johnny’s eyes, his expression, even with the shadows on his side, betrays him. You take one look at the deep crease between his brows and the way his eyes don’t meet yours and recoil. 

Then your gaze falls to the floor, to the shoe rack, which is missing Taeyong’s colorful collection of sneakers and boots. “Where is he?” you whisper. 

“Weren’t you just with him?”

You try to push past him, but he stands like a stone pillar in the doorway. “That was hours ago, Johnny,” you say, planting both hands on his chest in a last ditch attempt to shove him out of your way so you can search the apartment for Taeyong, find him and call him an idiot for scaring the shit out of you. “I— let me in, Johnny, please.” 

When he hears your voice crack on that last word, he finally relents, and you stagger into the apartment, feeling your way to the couch to sit. You don’t trust your own legs to work.

He sits beside you, the sound of his breathing unbearably loud in the dark. “What happened?” he asks, though the grim line of his mouth and the softness of his voice hint that he already knows the answer to his own question.

Your breath catches in your throat, and you have to grab onto him to steady yourself, rendered faint by the very thought of it. 

“He said—” You choke on your own breath, and have to take a second to cough and gasp. Your nails sink into the skin of Johnny’s arm, but he doesn’t complain, not even when you collapse against him, repeating the words like a mantra, thinking that maybe if you keep saying them it won’t feel like ice is filling veins or that you’re hemorrhaging from the valves of your heart. Maybe it’ll stop the ringing in your ears and the shaking of your hands. “He left me. He left—”

The left hallway light flicks on, and Ten shuffles out of his bedroom, yawning. When he makes out your silhouette, crumbling against Johnny’s, he inhales sharply. “Y/n? What’s wrong?”

Johnny answers for you, which is for the best, because wetness is pooling in your eyes, and you think that if you open your mouth again, there will be rain that you cannot stop. “Taeyong. I think he just told her about him… leaving.”

Ten rubs his temples and swears in several languages, the noises jumbling together. “I told him not to wait. God, that idiot…”

And that’s all it takes, for the storm to break upon you. You squeeze your eyes shut as a deep numbness fills you from the bridge of your nose to the tips of your fingers so that the heat of the tears slipping down your nose feels like liquid fire. The rest of you feels like ice, like hail and sleet have fragmented inside of you, shards ripping apart your throat and shredding your lungs. The sobs that follow leave you gasping for air.

Ten’s slender body curls against yours, his arms closing snugly around your waist, his lethargic pulse a staggering contrast to the thunder of yours. He doesn’t bother saying anything to comfort you, and neither does Johnny. They hold you there, in silence, until you’ve cried yourself to exhaustion.

On the floor by the door, your phone lays forgotten, Taeyong’s last texts to you glowing dimly on the screen.

[4:00] Taeyong: Before you read the rest of this, I want to apologize first. I wouldn’t be able to get the words out if I said them face to face. I’m sorry. I’m a coward.

[4:05] Taeyong: Earlier, when we were on the beach, looking up at the stars, you asked me what I was worrying me. I was thinking that even after all this time… I’m still as lost as I was the day you met me. Still searching for something. Still wandering.

[4:06] Taeyong: So I made a last minute decision to go back to Korea with my family. I can’t explain it, but something is calling me there.

[4:09] Taeyong: I would’ve said goodbye, but I don’t think either of us could have handled it. Me especially. I wouldn’t have been able to go. Not if I heard your voice, telling me not to. Not after… all that.

[4:06] Taeyong: I wish I could at least tell you when I’m coming back but, truthfully, I can’t come back until I’ve found my way. 

[4:11] Taeyong: My flight is boarding right now. Knowing you, you’ll have gone to the apartment to see if I’m really gone. You’d probably beat the shit out of me for scaring you if I was still there. But I’m not there. I almost wish I was.

[4:13] Taeyong: I promise, I’ll come back when I’m ready to face you. That’s something I can say for sure. 

[4:13] Taeyong: You’ll always be my northern star.

[4:15] Taeyong: I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.

a/n 2.0: yeah, yikes, taeyong really did that.... especially after a chapter like this, feedback is desirable. the story with Kenneth... that was my ex [name changed, ofc]. and the scars, they are mine. it really has been four years for me. but i have the support i didn’t have back then when i was younger, and i am growing still. the stars still give me hopes and dreams. i hope you look at them and dream too. and like i’ve said before-- if you ever need someone to talk to, i am here. love y’all. ♥

[artboitrash]

His Bloody Rose (Stefano Valentini fanfiction) Chapter 16 - Hidden Feelings

My eye opened as I slipped back into consciousness. I turned over and stretched out my limbs, groaning quietly to myself. I ran my fingers through my bangs, combing out the snags that had occurred in the night. I glanced down at my bed once I sat up, mind piecing together what had happened through the haze of a heavy sleep cycle.

Rose lay peacefully next to me. She seemed to only wake after I did when she stayed over.

I watched her as the sheets lifted and sank with her breathing. I wondered if she struggled to breathe, even in her sleep. If her lungs or her throat pained her when she wasn't awake.

The events of last night fit together in my mind, assembling the proper timeline as I recalled each detail almost perfectly. Helping her as she got into my car, nearly having to pry her grip off of me because of the state she was in.

"I won't hold it against you, if I have bruises on my arm tomorrow," I'd said.

She only nodded as I closed her door, not reacting to my attempt to lighten the situation. We went to the hospital, followed closely by the police. It was a silent drive as she sat next to me. I barely looked at her, knowing the image that would be there. She gripped her hands to her elbows, across her stomach, still wearing my jacket across her shoulders. She didn't talk the whole drive, nor did I expect she even could. Each time she tried to talk it was barely over a whisper, looking as though it hurt her.

The police interviewed me on what I saw, why I was in the women's restroom, my relation to Rose, and so on. I was sure to keep my mind calm, and only give them information they asked. I did admit to them one of the reasons I had taken her to the restroom was to have sex discreetly, as I assumed she would have a similar response to the question.

When they were done with me, I did inform them that I had seen the man who attacked her before. I didn't know who he was yet, but he had been stalking her at the college since the time I met her. I gave them details of what I had seen, him staring in at her, and at me while I was there, through doorways and windows, sitting himself outside of the gallery where he could watch her while she worked in there. They seemed to take my claims seriously when I said them, and I insisted they follow me up on what comes of it.

Once Rose was finished being evaluated by the hospital, we drove to the police station so they could finish interviewing her. They let me sit next to her as two officers questioned her and listened to her story as best she could describe.

I sat there with my hands in my lap, watching the detective take notes in front of me. I knew she would feel like everyone was watching her if I looked at her, so I simply listened to her as her story unfolded.

It was an ex-boyfriend of hers. His name was Ryan, it seemed, and he had been worse than a brute when they were together. She detailed how he had been trying to "win" her back over during the year and a half after she broke things off with him. He had abused her sexually, all the time as she described it, and turned more violent as time went on. She had been too scared of him and had no proof of what he was like, so she never went to the police.

After the interview, she was taken to an empty room with a white wall. They took pictures of her as I watched through a window from the next room. I watched as they would get close to the markings he had caused on her, taking detailed images of everything he had done. The large, dark purple bruise on her throat that was already forming, the fingernail scratches along her arms and face, and the bruises on her face where he had tried to knock her out. Each time I glanced at her, I felt rage burn in the pit of my stomach.

Eventually, we were allowed to leave. We were escorted to my car, and they told us we would be called and a follow-up would be given to us in detail. She was told she may have to testify in court, and we would be visited by a detective if they needed any more details.

As the car door shut behind me, I switched on the engine and began to exit the parking lot.

"Do you want me to take you home?" I said quietly as I turned onto the road.

I glanced at her. She shook her head roughly in response to me.

"No." She croaked. "No, not my home."

I glanced over at her, her tears streaming down her face afresh. I frowned. It elicited something inside of me, making me realize she was hurting emotionally and mentally more than I'd seen her. The day I took her to my studio, the times when she had sought comfort as we talked on the phone, it made much more sense now.

"Bella mia..." I muttered.

I reached over and grabbed onto one of her hands. I grasped it tightly and felt her fingers intertwine with mine.

"Can I stay with you for a few days?"

"... Yes..."

We arrived at my home around 1 in the morning. My gallery opening had begun around 5 in the afternoon. I exhaustedly locked the front door after we entered and tossed my keys on the island in my kitchen.

I guided her still frightened form to my bedroom, helping her sit on the side of my bed. Sitting where I had placed the dresses earlier for her to choose from. I turned to my closet and pulled out an old shirt for her to wear. The only feminine "night clothes" I had were unfortunately lingerie, and they were mostly photo shoot clothing, and I wouldn't risk traumatizing her more by asking her to wear any

"Th-thank you..." was all she could manage as I exited so she could change.

Now, the following morning, I looked over to her tranquil face. Her body was facing me, laying on her side in her sleep. I swallowed, eyes tracing over her form under the sheets. The gravity of my current reality settled into my bones; this woman who I've invited into my home and shared my darkest secret with lay before me as though I wouldn't harm her.

I found myself faced with that same question again. Why? Why did I even tolerate her presence, or I suppose even entertain the idea of keeping her around?

It wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to feel this way about her.

Now when I turn my mind to capturing her death, I've begun to feel hesitant. I've begun questioning myself. She's made me more confused than anyone, any model I've come across.

She's especially different in that I've slept with her twice now.

Even if I break the cycle and let her go, I don't think I'll be satisfied. Something about her makes me... unsure. I don't like feeling anxious, or unsure of myself.

Yet she drives me crazy.

Despite learning what I do, knowing what I do to create my art... she has stayed with me. No, more than that, she fell in love with me.

She doesn't simply do as I say to stay alive. She won't allow herself to be abused by anyone again. She has spoken out against me once so far, telling me she wasn't going to allow me to use her or control her. It had been during when I made a few discussions about how she should wear her hair once she grows it out, to which she responded she was planning on keeping her hair short for a long time.

I have to admit, since I've seen what she's been through, I find it very admirable. Especially standing up against someone who continually tells her they will to kill her.

I lay down in bed again, sliding the sheets up to my chest. I lifted a hand and slid it through her hair. She didn't have a chance to take a shower last night, too tired and already asleep in my bed once I finished getting myself ready for bed. Her hair was still a little stiff from the hair gel I had used, but I passed my fingers through the strands anyway.

I watched her face, unmoving as she slept. The silent breathing as her frame moved, curled up slightly in on herself.

She's never mentioned her family. Granted, I never spoke about mine, but she hasn't said anything that implied they existed. I wondered if she had been alone, like me. If she had anyone to care for her, to love her. I wondered if she had been so alone in the year and a half after breaking things off with her last boyfriend, and that's why she was so quick to lower her guard around me. I wondered what she felt when she realized she loved me.

I've always scoffed at the notion of love. I thought it was a simple mindset that gave someone a weak point. I've been attracted to some people, cared about them, but never felt more than that.

And yet I am questioning my own feelings. My thoughts. Questioning myself in a way I'm sure I never have.

I sighed through my nose, finally realizing I had been holding my breath. And finally realizing just how much I sighed when I thought about her.

I continued petting her head, just watching Rose.

My Rose.

"Mia..." I whispered, not realizing it slipped out. "Mia bella Rosa."

I slid my hand down, gently brushing my fingertips across her face. I softly touched her cheek bones, her plump cheeks... tracing her small nose, her eyebrows. I let my finger run along her jawline, and over her lips. Her lips that had pressed against mine so many times now. Her skin, so soft... so lovely.

I ached to turn it into one of my creations.

Yet I couldn't. I wouldn't hear her praise, her excitement. I wouldn't see her smile.

I wished to create, but I couldn't pull away from the image of her before me. I yearned to stay like this. To find myself frozen in time with her. Frozen as I slide my hands back through her hair.

"Lovers" I could call it. Or "Longing." Something along that string of ideas.

The world would never be so accepting of a work like that. I knew this once I returned from the war, and I knew this when I set up my first gallery showing. I hadn't been accepted by so many people around me. I wasn't accepted for the scarring on my face, and I wasn't accepted for the vision that had been granted to me.

And still, I seem to have found someone who has accepted me.

My eyelid fluttered low, and I allowed myself to close it, pulling my hand away from her head. I don't want her to leave me. I'm sure I would have to leave her, eventually. I know most relationships end in heartbreak, and this one I'm sure will be no exception.

Still, I wanted to keep her by my side. Keep her voice speaking to me. Keep her love and thoughts centered on me.

"Stefano...?"

My eye opened and regarded Rose again as I heard her near voiceless whisper. Her eyes were open, looking at me. I stared quietly at her, letting myself a moment to smile at her.

"Good morning."

She nodded and smiled weakly in response. She reached forward, holding onto my hand. I hold it back, still mulling in my thoughts, focusing on the soft sensation of her hand in mine. The difference in the flawless skin running along her hands, and the small shrapnel scars along mine. It had taken so long for me to be comfortable to let her see my hands and the skin of my torso. She had yet to see my missing eye, though. Maybe after a while, I'd let her see it... When I'm ready.

Rose shifted where she lay, and eventually sat up, the small smile dropping from her face.

"S-sorry..." she mumbled.

She hopped off the bed, and ran out of the room. I blinked, watching her leave the room. I sat up and rushed after her. She ran into my bathroom and to the toilet. She began having her stomach into it, coughing and sputtering.

I watched her for a moment. I went to her, ignoring the scent of the bile, kneeling beside her. She coughed as I ran a hand over her back.

"I wonder if you got food poisoning from dinner." I said quietly, wondering if I had under-cooked something last night.

She shook her head. "I don't know... I've been feeling so sick lately."

"Damn, maybe the flu?"

"Maybe." She coughed and threw up again.

I sighed, and stood up. "How about you take a shower, my dear. When you're all done. I'll make you some breakfast for when you feel better."

I turned and went to the kitchen, pulling out my electric kettle. I ran some water in it and set it up to boil.

I began to hum my favorite song quietly to myself as I pulled out my french press and began setting it up. I poured some coffee grounds into the press, and turned to my fridge for some bread and eggs. I hesitated, then decided some sausages would be good to have, too.

I turned to the stove, and saw the time on the overhead read 2:00 P.M. Two in the afternoon...? I guess I shouldn't really be surprised, we were both so exhausted last night.

The kettle beeped, and I poured the water to start the coffee, beginning to cook the food. I began to hum a little louder, letting myself going through the motions for the morning.

Certainly one thing that was good about Rose coming into my life was that I began to eat a little healthier.

Well, I should say eating at all. I'd had such a hard time stomaching much food, so my refrigerator was mostly empty. Given that she had begun staying over once a week, I've started making larger meals and eating properly.

After a few more minutes, I felt arms slide around my waist. I glanced down, seeing my Rose's bare arms wrapped around me as I felt her head press into my back.

"Feeling better, my dear?"

"Mm-hmm..." I felt her nodding against me.

I kept stirring the eggs, waiting to hear the dinging of the toaster, keeping some attention on the sausages as well. I continued humming quietly, letting myself feel the warmth of her pressed into my back. Once the toast had popped up, I switched off the burners, and turned back to the coffee that was still steeping. I plunged it down, pulling out some mugs for us. I poured the coffee and divvied the food between some plates.

I made my way to the fridge, Rose following me as I made my way there. I pulled out some cream and made the coffee. I picked up both mugs, and set them on the island in the middle of the kitchen, then grabbed the plates with some silverware and set them by the mugs.

After that, we sat down to eat.

[chiseler]

“You Devilish Mummy!”: Mexican Horror in America, 1958-1963

Rosa Arenas

For some people, Cinqo de Mayo means a nacho party platter, a cooler full of Corona, plastic sombreros and a pinata filled with stale butterscotch discs. For a few of us, though, Cinqo de Mayo means one thing and one thing only: Aztec mummies. The sad part of it is that it might actually make much more sense than the nachos.

After Tod Browning and his crew left the set at the end of the shooting day while working on 1931’s Dracula, they were replaced by director George Melford and a Mexican cast and crew. Using the same sets, the same cameras, and a translated version of the script, they worked all night to shoot the Spanish-language version of the film. Those who have seen both tend to agree that the Spanish version is the superior of the two. The cinematography is more vibrant and less stage-bound than the Browning version, the atmosphere is richer (possibly because they were shooting at night), and most important of all, the Mexican Dracula (Carlos Villar) smolders with a sexual energy and menace Bela Lugosi, great as he is, lacks.

Prior to the mid-’50s, most American audiences would probably be surprised to learn that Mexico even had its own film industry. That’s when low-budget producers from Sam Arkoff on down recognized the economic advantages of snapping up the US distribution rights to existing foreign genre pictures. It made perfect sense. You didn’t need to hire any directors or cameramen or gaffers. There were no actor hissy fits to smooth over. All you needed to do was dub in some English dialogue that more or less made sense, fit the action on the screen, and approximately matched the actors’ lip movements. Or maybe not, whatever. Sometimes you might want to bring in an editor to try and rearrange a few scenes so the picture and dialogue’ll make more sense to the kids at the drive-in, but even that wasn’t always necessary. Come up with a snappy English title, Americanize some of the actors’ names, and you’re good to go. The important thing is these films could be picked up for a song, and minus a few minor expenses everything they brought in was gravy.

Suddenly US theaters were full of sci-fi, horror, and westerns from Italy, Japan, Spain, and yes indeed, Mexico. Low-budget distributor K. Gordon Murray quickly established himself as the king of marketing Mexican horror cheapies to American audiences, handling films like The Man and the Monster, The Brainiac, Curse of the Doll People, and a whole lotta movies with “Aztec Mummy” in the title.  It would be nice to say these films have complex and thought-provoking storylines, that the acting is strong and subtle, that the cinematography is dazzling and the special effects on a par with any major American studio at the time, but that would really be pushing it. A lot of the films were just slapdash, flat-footed remakes of popular American films but with cheaper sets. A few of them do stand out, though, in that even the dubbed and edited versions remain uniquely Mexican, even if they do seem to tell the same story over and over again. And some of them are just plain nuts.

Genre director Rafael Portillo and screenwriter Alfredo Salazar were best known for their Aztec Mummy and wrestling pictures, and in 1958 topped even Santo Meets Dracula with La momia azteca contra el robot humano, translated as The Aztec Mummy Against the Humanoid Robot or, more simply, The Robot Meets the Aztec Mummy.

As the opening narration assures us, the film is based on an “actual experiment” conducted by two scientists from “The Los Angeles University” and verified by witnesses who “signed sworn statements with a notary public” so “there is no question about this story’s authenticity.”

Please keep that in mind.

The film is told mostly in flashback and through voiceover, which is generally a sure sign you’re watching a heavy-handed bit of editorial butchery. The same sort of thing was done regularly to the US versions of Toho films, usually with a mind toward simplifying the story.

Okay, a psychiatrist (Ramón Gay) is mocked by his colleagues when he presents a paper about past life regression, so he storms home and hypnotizes his wife Flora (Rosa Arenas). We slip into a low budget flashback within a flashback as we learn Flora was once an Aztec maiden on schedule to be sacrificed when she runs off with a warrior. The village priests find them, bring them back, and bury the warrior alive after placing a curse on him. Then they fit the old Flora with a gold bracelet and breastplate inscribed with directions to the location of “the secret Aztec treasure.” Then they cut out her heart, which may say something about the effectiveness of that breastplate.

Returning to the first flashback, we learn the evil Dr. Krupp had spied on the experiment and now wants in on it. Nevertheless the good doctor decides for some reason that the best way to prove his theory is to find the bracelet and breastplate, so they all go looking. Lucky for them they find a secret passage under the pyramid that I guess is in their backyard. Moments later they find the ancient temple, the skeleton of the old Flora, and the breastplate which they take home with them. The fun doesn’t last long, though, as  the warrior’s mummy shows up at the house, grabs the breastplate, grabs Flora, returns to the temple, and prepares to cut out her heart again. At this point we’re about six minutes into the film.

Then it turns out, see, that Dr. Krupp is really a sinister underworld figure known as The Bat, and...oh screw it. Over the course of the rest of the film we get gangsters, a shootout, hypnotism, a mad scientist, a pit full of rattlesnakes, that mummy again, some Aztec rituals, a few vanishing bodies, a police investigation, a stolen corpse, a stolen brain, and a stolen “machine that uses radium,” together with lines of dialogue like, “oh, you devilish mummy!” and “continuing our search we hurried to the snake pit.” Eventually we even get a robot there near the end (though it’s more of a reanimated corpse wearing a metal suit festooned with some blinking lightbulbs),and it has a brief and slow wrestling match with the mummy.

And all of it, believe it or not, is crammed into a zippy 65 minutes. No, it’s not a particularly good film as the term is traditionally used, but it is a fascinating one. As crazy as it all gets, as big as some of the plot holes and lapses in logic may seem, the craziest thing of all is that you can’t really criticize it for any of that given that it’s, y’know, based on a true story.

Robot Meets the Aztec Mummy is a pretty extreme example of what was coming out of Mexico at the time. Other genre pictures were no less strange, maybe, but a little more sane.

Three years after Bert I. Gordon’s Attack of the Puppet People and 25 years after Tod Browning’s The Devil Doll, Benito Alazraki released his 1961 film Muñecos infernales, better known in the States  as Curse of the Doll People.

An archaeologist interested in ancient rights and such and her physician husband (Ramon Gay again) visit an art collector friend who regales them with the exciting tale of his recent trip to Haiti. While there, see, he and two friends witnessed a secret voodoo ritual that included human sacrifice. For all the crazy goings on though, the art collector couldn’t take his eyes off the idol the voodoo priests were worshipping. He thought it would make a fine addition to his collection, so the next day he went back and stole it.

(Given that the story is not told in flashback, just by some guy sitting in an easy chair, I’m tempted to think the whole Haiti angle was an invention of the screenwriter for the American version. Maybe the producer was a little tired of Aztecs by this point.)

It’s not hard to guess that stealing a revered idol from a voodoo temple is not without its repercussions, and sure enough before you know it the children of all the men on the Haiti trip start receiving new dolls in the mail. Real nice, realistic-looking ones too. None of the parents seem a bit concerned by the arrival of anonymous gifts for their children, merely handing the dolls to the tykes and sending them off to bed. After a few cuts to an oddly Mexican-looking Haitian voodoo priest, well you guessed it. the dolls start coming to life and knocking off the parents in ways that can’t easily be traced back as the work of an evil dolly.

The one surprise here is given the budget, the special effects (midgets in doll clothes on oversized sets) are really, really good. Better than Bert Gordon’s, even. It’s just too bad the story around them doesn’t have a bit more zing to it. It’s a little flabby and obvious. Still, you start to get the sense a pattern is developing.

El baron del terror (released in the States as The Brainiac in 1962), directed by Chano Urueta, marked a bit of a break from the simple revenge plot. Oh wait, no it didn’t. But it was still a break from the standard storyline.

As the film opens it’s 1661, a comet has appeared in the sky, and  an evil baron  (Abel Salazar) is being burned at the stake by Inquisitors for practicing black magic. As evil barons are so wont to do when finding themselves in circumstances like that, he places a curse on all those who condemned him, vowing he would return in 300 years when the comet reappears and kill off all their descendants. The Inquisitors, for some reason, don’t seem terribly concerned by all this and go ahead and burn him anyway.

Cut to three hundred years in the future and true to his word the comet has reappeared and so has the baron, who  starts snuffing people who didn’t even know they were related to Inquisitors. Yes, it’s a plot we’ve seen how many times already? But the Brainiac, as the title might hint, does offer a twist or two. First, before he kills his victims the Baron transforms into a kind of hideous horned demon monster (the doll special effects were better). Then during the murders he sucks out his victims’ brains, which he keeps in a big salad bowl in the kitchen. When he lures someone over to his apartment and confirms their identity, all he needs to do is excuse himself to the kitchen for a moment, have a spoonful of brains, and shazam. No more descendant and more brains for the baron.

A year later  Ueueta returned to more standard form with La cabeza viviente, aka The Living Head. Here again he opens with a long prologue in which he went to some pains to at least give the illusion of historical accuracy. When a great Aztec general dies, not only is he buried, but so are a few of his servants and a high priestess to help him on his way in the afterlife. That those others weren’t quite dead yet doesn’t seem to matter much. It’s all quite a big to-do.

Cut to 450 years in the future, as an incredibly bad archaeologist and two assistants stumble upon the tomb. First they completely destroy the mummy of the high priestess and shrug it off. Then when he finds the invaluable Ring of Death, the archaeologist immediately announces that he’s going to give it to his daughter, “who likes ugly things like that.” Then after reading aloud the very clear curse that will befall anyone who desecrates the tomb, the trio scurry’s off with the general’s mummified head and the mummy of his servant (the one still clutching the knife). Do they then deliver them to the museum where they can be properly cared for and kept in carefully climate-controlled environments? Well, almost: he brings them back to his apartment and keeps them in the living room.

Yeah, it’s not really hard to see where this is headed. The daughter starts wearing the Ring of Death and gets a little kooky in the head . Then the servant and head come to life and all three of them (the daughter carrying the head) go tracking down the desecrators in order to cut out their hearts.

“I know what you’re thinking,” a police inspector says after the first murder. “But I don’t believe in legends. Or in superstitions either. All I know is that this is a very difficult case.”

That’s the real killer in The Living Head. Even more so than most, the dubbing is miserable, with most of the lines either being non-sequiturs, or so plainly obvious and logical they come out sounding like non-sequiturs. I get the feeling sometimes that the voice actors they brought in were never given scripts, simply shown the film and told to make it up as they went along.

Ah, but this is merely a taste of what’s out there in terms of Mexican horror. We haven’t even considered the Santo pictures yet, and there are hundreds of those. I’m not sure if the likes of Robot Meets the Aztec Mummy would really enrich anyone’s  appreciation or understanding of Mexican independence, but there are doubtless lessons to be learned here. Namely, should you happen to find some neat stuff in a sacred temple next time you’re in Mexico, for godsakes just leave it there, no matter how cool it is. Those Aztecs mean business.

by Jim Knipfel

[soydavidgigi]

Porque me gusta mi vida?..

Podría decir que me gusta?, pues si si me gusta, Porque?, Fácil.. Porque en ella tengo a personas que quiero demasiado como son mi mamá principalmente y mis amigos ..

Realmente no tengo una vida llena de lujos ni soy popular ni mucho menos .. pero a mi me basta con tener el cariño y apoyo de mis amigos, y, sobretodo de mi mami :3

En cuanto a las personas que me rodean, siempre, SIEMPRE trato de encajar.. (de verdad que lo intento jeje :3)

Emm por ahora supongo que llevo una vida relax así que me sigue gustando mi vida tal cual como es, tal cual como soy, y trataré de mantenerlo así.

Sin importar lo que piense la gente, y a pesar de las críticas.

De verdad que todo lo bueno que hay en mi vida, todo a mi alrededor no quiero que cambie.

Y vuelvo y repito mi vida me gusta demasiado, porque soy libre a mi manera, estoy donde quiero estar y con quienes quiero estar.

Me siento feliz también de tener tiempo para quemar etapas y no apresurarme a cosas que ya vendrán en el futuro.

Cada momento, cada suceso, cada persona en mi vida han marcado una parte de mi.. así que realmente me agrada la vida que llevo y no la cambiaría por nada.

Una de las cosas que también me da esa felicidad es el hecho de que he tenido también oportunidad de vivir al máximo cada momento, así como también de reflexionar mis experiencias y darme cuenta de mis errores, porque no voy a decir que soy perfecto, nadie lo es, lo que es en verdad importante es ver en que estamos fallando y cambiarlo.

En fin, yo creo que lo esencial es vivir cada momento al 100 pero también hay límites tampoco se trata de hacer lo que queramos sin importar las reglas.

La vida me ha dado muchas cosas si, pero la realidad es que también me ha quitado mucho, y cuando digo que me ha quitado mucho jamás voy a referirme a cosas materiales, porque las cosas materiales para mi no significan absolutamente nada, lo que siempre para mi será trágico es perder a un ser querido o a un amigo, momentos en los que yo hubiera querido estar, y no pude..

Y si... quieras o no la vida tampoco es como te la pintan tus padres de pequeño, de arcoíris y un cielo azul, y tarde o temprano te das cuenta, nadie lleva una vida perfecta, todos tenemos problemas, todos tenemos momentos complicados, y a veces nos hundimos tanto en ellos que ya ni siquiera le vemos sentido a las cosas.

- .. No todo es color de rosa.. Pero todo está bien

Y hay que levantarse una y otra, y otra, y otra vez, y las veces que sean necesarias hasta lograr lo que queremos.

Y si todo pasa, Siempre en la vida habrá altas y bajas, lo importante aquí es aprender de cada lección que nos da la vida y seguir adelante.

De verdad que si, me siento satisfecho con la vida que llevo, que como ya dije no es perfecta, pero tengo lo necesario para ser feliz.. :') ♥️

-------------------------------------------------------

Why do I like my life?

Could I say that I like it? Well, if I like it, Why? Easy ... Because in her I have people that I love too much, such as my mother and my friends.

I really don't have a life full of luxuries nor am I much less .. but it is enough for me to have the affection and support of my friends, and, especially of my mom :3

As for the people around me, always, I ALWAYS try to fit in. (I really do try hehe :3)

Emm for now I guess I have a relaxed life so I still like my life as it is, as I am, and I will try to keep it that way.

Regardless of what people think, and despite the criticism.

I really do not want everything that is good in my life, everything around me to change.

And I go back and repeat my life I like it too much, because I am free in my own way, I am where I want to be and with whom I want to be.

I am also happy to have time to burn stages and not rush to things that will come in the future.

Every moment, every event, every person in my life has marked a part of me ... so I really like the life I lead and I would not change it for anything.

One of the things that also gives me that happiness is the fact that I have also had the opportunity to live every moment to the fullest, as well as to reflect on my experiences and realize my mistakes, because I am not going to say that I am perfect, nobody it is, what is really important is to see where we are failing and change it.

In short, I believe that the essential thing is to live every moment at 100 but there are also limits, nor is it about doing what we want regardless of the rules.

Life has given me a lot of things, yes, but the reality is that it has also taken a lot from me, and when I say that it has taken a lot from me, I will never refer to material things, because material things mean absolutely nothing to me, which always for me it will be tragic is to lose a loved one or a friend, moments in which I would have wanted to be, and I could not ..

And if ... you want or not life is not how your parents paint it when you are little, with rainbows and a blue sky, and sooner or later you realize, nobody has a perfect life, we all have problems, we all have complicated moments , and sometimes we sink so deep into them that we no longer even see meaning in things.

- .. Not everything is rosy .. But everything is fine

And we have to get up again and again, and again, and again, and as many times as necessary until we achieve what we want.

And if everything happens, there will always be ups and downs in life, the important thing here is to learn from each lesson that life gives us and move on.

Really yes, I am satisfied with the life I lead, which as I said is not perfect, but I have what it takes to be happy .. :') ♥️

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU [Book 2]

Lost and confused on this here day? Start from the WAAAY beginning!

Chapter 1: It is Wednesday My Dudes.

Howdy! I guess I should introduce myself? Oof UMMMMMM, the names Lili Perla Iida! I’m 15 years old, about to turn 16, and I’m the oldest of 4 kids. Being big sis feels as natural as the wind in my hair as I pirouette. Speaking of dancing, it’s a Saturday morning, that means I have to get my ass in 5th gear for my private dance lessons. My favorite days are the ones where I get to dance and cause havoc with my siblings! I guess I should head downstairs for breakfast before that robo doggy yips at me for still being in my room.

“Buenos dias mija!” thats my mom, she’s the one bitch I respect the most.

“Good mornin” I greet everyone at the breakfast nook “what’s for breakfast?”

“Spam and eggs with toast” that’s my dad at the stove, I love him but he’s putting too much pressure on me to follow his footsteps. “Here’s your coffee.”

“Oh FUCK yea!” I holler as I jump into my spot at the nook. There’s nothing more I love than some egg and toast with my iced coffee.

“I’m hungies! Please just gimme one toast!” thats my younger brother Iwata, but I call him Iwee or Iwa, don’t tell the other two but he’s my favorite sibling. He’s the one that schemes and I say if that’s doable or not.

“DADDY! Tensei is teleporting my forkfuls into his mouth!”

“MOMMY! Hanaka set my toast on fire!” those two brats are my twin siblings, Hanaka and Tensei but I call them by their middle names, Rosa and Oro. Rosa is half-way decent to be around, so I share a room with her. Oro is a punk ass bitch in the making but I can’t hate him too much, he’s an intellectual.

“Can’t we go one breakfast without something catching on fire?” I rolled my eyes as I got served “thanks dad.”

“Nope, fuck you” Rosa stuck her tongue out “TENSEI STOP!”

“Hanaka! What did we say about tongues?” scolded dad “your family isn’t fire proof!” he turned to Oro “and what did we say about pestering your sister?”

“I shouldn’t play with fire unless I wish to get burned” the boy pouted and crossed his arms “but Iwa and I are hungies!”

“Here’s your plates” dad slid the food in front of the two boys “no more yelling or I’m taking away toast privileges!”

“NOOO THAT’S NOT FAIR!” we whined, you can take away our freedom but us Iida kids will be DAMNED if the sanctity of toast in the morning gets taken away.

“Oh shit, listen to your father” mom jeered as dad sat next to her “oh Lili, don’t forget about applications for entrance exams.”

“I still don’t know where to consider” I sigh as I butter my toast “like, I get that theres privates that have scouted me to go to their’s but I just wanna go to a dance school.”

“Sweet heart, you know we can’t just send you off overseas so young!” mom spoke with a hint of worry “besides, you still have private lessons at the institute until you turn 18! I won’t let you go off without the things you love to do.”

“You can always apply to UA” dad spoke up as he cut his spam “with the recommendations we can give, you don’t have to take the entrance exam.”

“Ugh, I can’t dance if I’m going to a hero school” I huffed “I don’t wanna go to your pompous alma mater dad. No offense mom.”

“None taken, not even I wanted to be there” mom responded so casually.

Dad gave her a side glance “May I remind you on who you met in said pompous school that helped build this family?”

“May I remind you on who was too much of a little bitch to tell me they liked me at said pompous school even though we saw each other basically everyday” she sipped her coffee loudly, marking her win.

“Oof I felt that roast in my DNA” Iwa hit the whoa “that shit hurted, F in the chat for Dad’s pride.

“F” chanted everyone but dad.

After breakfast, I grab my duffle bag and make my way to town.

“Good morning Lili!” thats my aunty Mimi, her and my mom are besties “say good morning Nikita.”

“Guden Morgen Lili!” that’s Nikita, Mimi’s daughter. She’s just a year younger than my twin siblings and today they have a little playdate as my mom and Mimi go to work.

“Mornin’! See y’all later!” I wave them off.

“Oh Lili! Good Morning!” that’s my uncle Jin, he lives next door to us and is besties with my mom and Mimi. For someone that doesn’t have kids, he sure does know how to care for them.

“Mornin’! Are you driving today?”

“Yep, can’t let the media know your mom’s car needs detailing!” he joked as he waved me off.

The dance institute I attend is in the same town we live in and just a 20 min walk from the gated community we live in. Well, 20 minutes for me because I walk kinda fast because of the engines on my feet. Dumb location for the quirk but it does help me when I dance.

“Ah Lili! There you are!” cried out my dance teacher as I walked in “can you lend me a hand in costuming? We need re-adjustments for a few costumes for the level 3s.”

“Of course I’ll help, be right there in a jiffy!” I rush into the costuming room, my second home at times! The lord has blessed me with a second quirk, Master Thread, and I like it more than my other one. It’s not dumb and super useful! I heard that there was once a pro-hero that had the same quirk and my parents knew him before his retirement. My mom says that she interned under his agency and he favored her for her Copy quirk. How cool is it that?! But hero stuff ain’t for me, I just wanna look pretty and dance for the masses. Maybe one day make elaborate ballet costumes, I already make my own at home to practice my quirk. How lucky am I to have such supportive parents?! After I finish the adjustments, I quickly put on my pointe shoes to do a practice run of our summer showcase. As much as I work well with the others in my class, I’m not friends with any of them and I don’t blame them. The instructors show me too much favoritism and even I’d hate me for hogging the attention.

“Lili! Marvelous work!” one of the instructors praised “how about we make you a solo act for this season finale?!”

“Me?! On such short notice?!”

“Yea! I thought I was going to do a solo act?!” huffed one of the girls on stage.

“Yes, you and Lili are going to be solos” they responded “we need to fill out time for our show and I know Lili can give quite a show.”

I looked around to my dance-mates and they all rolled their eyes “I mean, sure but I don’t know how good I can make a solo act in a month and a half!”

“Great!” they clapped “okay, from the top! We need to work on those jumps!”

As usual, nobody bids me good bye at the end of class. I’ve known most of them since I started there at age 5 and they don’t give me the decency to say hello or good bye! It sucks but I didn’t join to make friends. I walk through the streets to get to the fabric store I frequent, you’ll often catch me here after school or practice.

“Lili! Hey!” that’s Maru, he’s son of the number 1 hero, Deku. Our parents are friends and his dad owes his life to my mom because of her quick thinking that saved him back during the UA days. So I guess Maru is my friend?

“Oh sup Maru” I stopped walking as he ran toward me “what brings you around these here parts?”

“I was just looking at some of those shops” he points down the street “theres always cool stuff around here.”

“Yea there is, anyways, wanna join me?” I get giddy “I heading into the fabric store and I need some opinions.”

“I’m your guy!” he joins me as I fully geek out over the new satins.

“Okay so which one? The candy blue” I hover the bolt over my chest “the pearlescent one OR this blush pink?”

“I’m torn between the pearl and pink one” he mutters to himself “what are you trying to make?”

“Another costume, I got a solo act but I have yet to come up with something.”

“Oh that’s not fair! Isn’t the showcase in a few weeks?”

“THAT’S WHAT I SAID!” I groaned “I need so much help Maru! Plus I have to get started on applications and it’s all just a mess.”

“Well, if you ask me” he gets up and walks up to Lili “I think you should get both these satins and I know you’ll come up with something amazing! You’re really good at being graceful” he does a shakey spin “see? And why don’t you apply to UA? So that way we could go to school together!”

“Thank you for your kind words but I’m not going to hero school” I turned to put the blue satin back in the rack “I wanna wear pretty dresses and dance, not kick villain ass!”

“But think about it!” He picked up the two bolts of satin “how cool we’d be as a duo! I’d kick villain ass and you wrap them up to detain them!” he walked up to her “I’d be much braver with you by my side.”

“Be serious!” I laughed as I playfully pushed him “it’s not playtime, it’s hero work! Plus you gotta make your parents proud.”

“But I am serious” he retorted “I want to fight along side you, I want to do lots of things along side you. We’ve been friends since you were born!”

“And? That doesn’t mean you can’t live without me!” I look through the decals section “But you’re already doing great over there.”

I make my purchase and Maru walks me to the front gate before parting ways. What to do? The days just whoosh on by and I don’t have much to go off on. I submit applications to some private high schools that have dance programs but dad keeps insisting that I apply to UA. He had the audacity to give me a physical copy of the application! Apparently hero school apps are due much later than the other schools, for UA it’s October and it’s end of June right now. More time passes and I got a piece together for the showcase along with costume. At this point, I’m just counting the days until I get a response from those other schools I applied to.

-Night of the Summer Showcase-

What a night to be alive and pretty! My costume got the eyes of many that they didn’t notice my tiny fumbles. Another success in my books! My family came out to see me and so did Maru. After, I met up with my parents and Maru also came up to us.

“Amazing show Lili” he hands me a large bouquet of flowers “these are for you!”

“Oh you didn’t have to get me flowers” I was astounded by the mass of pink roses and lilies “but I’m glad you enjoyed the show!”

“I loved your floating spins and the thing at the end when you revealed the satin costume!” he imitated some of my moves “oh um, is it cool if we go for a little walk?”

“Oh sure let me just give these to my mom” I turn to my mom “I’m going for a walk, catch up with yall later.”

“Don’t wander too far! It’s dark out” dad chopped as I turned.

We walk to the garden area to the side of the performance hall “it’s a nice summer night.” commented Maru “the sky is clear too.”

“It is” I smile as I look up “I hardly get the time to look at the sky anymore, I loved star-gazing as a child.”

“Lets star-gaze over there!” Maru pointed to an open patch of grass. We lay on our backs and point at our made up constellations. “You know, I really enjoy your company Lili. You make things so much fun.”

“Thanks I guess?” I really didn’t know how to take that compliment.

“It’s a good thing” he laughed and turned his body on his side, toward me “I’ve been thinking about what you said about just wanting to look pretty and dance. Well, what if I figured out something?”

“What did you figure out?” I was genuinely confused because I don’t remember there being a problem with me wanting that.

“I figured out how you can dance and be pretty with always being by my side” he smiled “we just, get married.”

A record scratched in my head, did this foo just say get married? “Um, what?”

“I know that was a bold thing to say but I was giving it some thought” he explained himself “I like you a lot Lili, I want to be someone you can depend on and I can be someone that supports you in everything you want to do. I’ll be the breadwinner and you can do your thing and not have to work as hard.”

“But I don’t JUST want to be pretty and dance” I butted in “I want to work too! Professional Dancer is a legit career plus I want to go to college” I was starting to think I’m missing the point here “why are you suddenly talking about this?”

“I’m saying that I like you, more than a friend” he meekly spoke “and I want to be a man you can be proud of. You make me feel like I could do anything! Won’t you be my girlfriend?”

My mind was racing but going dumber, how do I tell him that he’s making a mistake without saying it word for word? “Maru, I didn’t know you felt that way!” I scrunched my face “I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay, take your time!” he leaned in closer to my face, softening his voice “maybe I should show you how serious I am.” This bitch fully kissed me on the lips, my first kiss and I didn’t feel the sparks or flutters in my tummy. I felt...nothing.

“Huh” I said after he broke the kiss “well uhhhhhh oof um” I stood up “I’ll be talking to ya later” I do finger guns and bolt to the parking lot.

“Wait Lili!” he tried to catch up to me.

“TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET HOME!” I yell before locating my parents “MOM! por favor start the car!” I get in and everyone picked up that I was not okay and something happened but needed some time to sort out my thoughts. Once we got home, I took a shower and slumped in my fuzzy chair in the dark.

There was a knock at my door “Hey, you wanna eat some hot chips with me?” it was Iwa.

“Sure” I open the door to let him in.

“What’s the deal with you? Everything was cool until you started running” he popped open a party size bag of hot cheetos con limon.

“Ugh it’s Maru” I grab a few cheetos “he out of nowhere just confessed and kissed me.”

“Oh shit!”

“Right?! And I feel a little fucked up” I crunched on a cheeto “because I feel like he could do better and when he kissed me, I felt nothing. And that was my first kiss, from my childhood friend!” I put my handful of cheetos in my mouth “I wanted to feel those good feelings but I didn’t. Does that make me a bad person?”

“Dang Lili, from how I see it” he licked the cheeto dust from his thumb “it’s a sign that he’s wrong and you aren’t the one for him” he gestured to the ceiling “the universe isn’t telling you to kiss every boy but just that it’s okay not to reciprocate feelings to somebody else. Your feelings are valid and you’re the baddest bitch here.”

I started to feel a lot better after talking to Iwa. I eventually told my mom and she said basically the same thing. I am confident to say that I am not in love with my friend and I don’t need their validation. Of course I didn’t get a chance to tell Maru since it’s summer and he’s busy with school. In some weird twist of fate, I got rejected by all these schools I applied to. I wasn’t upset, just questioning if this is the universe trying to tell me something.

“You okay sis?” carefully asked Rosa “you don’t look too hot.”

“I don’t know what to do” I spoke up from my desk “nothing but rejection letters and I’m not worried about school or where I go, but what’s wrong with having me as a student?”

“Hmmm, well I know daddy wants you to go to that school” she points at the blank UA application on my desk “and you want to go to a dance academy...por que no los dos? You can go to dance academy for college and go to hero school BUT only to spite dad.”

“Rosa, you’re a genius!” I praised her “who says you have bad ideas?!”

“I know I’m right” Rosa gives a power stance “I’m the powerhouse of the cell!”

And I did just that, I applied and got an invite almost immediately to take the entrance exam in early November. That gave me almost 2 months to train, plenty of time! I tried to hide this from my dad but the word slipped and he was too happy to take me to the exam and help me train. Don’t even get me started on that whole side of the family, uncle Tensei started crying, grandma and grandpa wouldn’t shut up on how the family is going to be full of heroes. All the while, I was trying to break the news that I wasn’t going to be returning for the advanced level courses of dance. All the instructors were sad to the point of begging, everyone else was happy that I was leaving. 

-Day of exam-

“You have everything you need?” Dad asked me for the 5th time since we got in the car “we still have time to-”

“YES DAD! FUCK!” he was stressing me out “I’m ready to take this test, stop worrying.”

He sighed “You remind me so much of your mother when we were at UA” he smiled at the thought “she’d snap at me too when I was being overbearing, but I did it because I loved her and wanted her to succeed.”

“Well, what’s one thing she couldn’t leave without?”

“She didn’t feel right unless she hugged me goodbye” he chuckled “even something so simple made my heart race.” He pulls up to the front of the massive front gate of UA “we’re here, do your best! I believe in you.”

“Thanks dad” I take a deep breath “I’ll call you later.”

I walk in the place and I don’t see anyone familiar, just a bunch of students from public schools and other privates. I took a written exam, then came the infamous physical portion. My dad and his hero friends were telling me that it’s one of the toughest entrance exams in the nation, but I wasn’t afraid, just oddly excited! I do my stretches, just minding my business, when I get some crude comments.

“Excuse me but the dance auditions are that way” said some boy condescendingly “why don’t you take your little pink shoes and get out of here before the big scary robots crush you?”

I squinted at them as the group of boys behind them laughed “Excuse me but aren’t the weak little bitches auditions that way?” I stood up to show that I tower him in height “I’m in the right place little man.”

“Lets get to the gates dude, she’s scary”

Everyone was summoned to the start gate and I had a feeling that somebody was watching me. Not like a camera watching me but like somebody near me was looking at me. I looked around but didn’t see anybody familiar or staring at me, it didn’t matter once the siren wailed to start the exam. I was kicking mecha ass with some fancy moves thrown in and when I thought I was going to end the exam on a good note, I hear somebody cry out for help. I rushed over and saw someone had their arm and leg trapped under a mecha, with the added panic of the 0 point big boy mecha dangerously close. I wasn’t going to leave them there, so I gave my all to lift the mecha off them. I couldn’t even lift the thing an inch off them! I had to get creative and used my 2nd quirk to lift the mecha off. I did it and pulled them out to make a run for the safety line.

“It’s no use, just leave me here” said the trapped person “I can’t walk.”

“I’m not giving up on you! I don’t care if I fail this exam” I unraveled my sports jacket, shirt and the ribbons in my hair to fasten them to me “hold on tight! We’re going airborne!”

“Wha-!”

I use the last of my energy to blast us into the air in a wide arch to barely avoid the mecha crushing us. Of course I didn’t have a back up plan and we crash landed in the safety zone, on top of other students.

“Owchies” I groaned “is everyone okay? Sorry about that! I didn’t have a landing plan.”

The nurse runs over “WAH! Miss Iida?! You caused this mess?!”

“Heh ummm yea” I shamefully admitted “sorry Miss Eri, I couldn’t let this student get crushed by the big boy mecha.”

“Lets get you two in the stretcher, come on” she sighed in disbelief “and I’ll be telling your parents young lady!”

“Aww wack!” I pouted as robot helpers put me in the stretcher. I looked over to see the other person in the stretcher next to me “are you alright?”

“I’ll be okay know” they smiled at me “thank you so much for not giving up on me.”

“No problem! I’m Lili by the way.”

Before they could tell me their name, they were hauled away for intensive care. It was fair, they did get injured far worse than me, I walked away with just some gnarly bruises and a scraped shoulder. I didn’t see them after and I really wanted to know their name because they looked oddly familiar. My parents were worried about my injuries as I tend to heal slower. It was winter vacation, usually I’d be excited to be in the holiday mood but I was just waiting in anxiety for my letter. Come the last day of December, I got my acceptance letter! The amount of relief I got from it all was amazing, according to the letter, I scored the most rescue points. Making me at the top of the scoreboard along with some others, so I’m in Hero class A, just like dad and mom. My dad fussed over me the most in the weeks leading to the first day of school.

-Morning of the first day-

“Wake up Wake up Wake up!” yipped the robo dog as they bust into my room “it’s the first day of classes Lili and Hanaka! Please get dressed and hurry down for breakfast.”

“Hnnn it’s 7 in the god foresaken morning!” I groaned as I rubbed my eyes “welp, come on Rosa or the boys are going to beat us to the sinks.”

“Hn! 5 more minutes” she tossed in her bed “Tensei is gonna teleport us to school, you have to ride with daddy.”

“Don’t remind me you brat!” I threw my pillow at her “whatever, just don’t melt the shampoo bottles.”

“Fuck you!”

I quickly take my shower and got dressed in my new uniform to greet my parents. They fawn over how much I look like them when they went to UA, mom told me the story of how she got confused for a boy on the 1st day because her ass was too big for the skirts that they had to be tailor made! I got a good laugh out of that and it made me feel better about starting my school day. I kiss them goodbye and got in the car with dad.

“Excited Lili?”

“Yea, I mostly want to see if that person I rescued made it in” I could hardly sit still in the passenger side “the rush I got from them thanking me had me feeling alive.”

“I hope they did! Sounds like you made a friend if they did.”

“I also wonder who’s the homeroom teacher!” I said as we slowed at the last stoplight before school “since it’s not Eraserhead anymore, I hope it’s one of your friends or some other notable alumni.”

“That’s a good question” Dad pondered “you have to let me and your mother know when you get home” he stops at the same place as last time “here’s your stop, have fun and make friends!”

“Okay dad” I took in a calming breath “I’ll see you later!”

To think my parents walked through the same doors, not knowing that they were going to end up like this? Now their daughter... I hope I’ll find my soulmate here too. I have a soft spot for the love my parents have for each other, you can just tell that they’ve been working on their love since before they actually started dating. I often catch them making out, give loving embraces after a hard day and care for each other in different ways. I want to be loved as hard as my dad loves my mom.

“Lili? Is that you?!” Maru’s voice broke my train of thought.

“Huh? Oh, Maru! Hi!”

“Hey! You made it in!” he gave me a tight hug and twirled “welcome to UA! If you want, I have time to walk you to class.”

“Oh sure” he puts me down “do you know where room 1-A is?”

“Sure do! It’s down over here” he leads me to the hero wing “wow A class huh? I thought the hero stuff wasn’t for you?”

“I thought so too” I shrugged “guess I just had to try and see for myself.”

“If you’re not busy at lunch, we can eat together too.”

“Don’t you have friends here Maru?” I snickered at him.

“You have to call me Midoriya-senpai around the others” he said trying to silence me “and I have to call you Iida-chan.”

“Eww fuck no” I gagged “sounds like you’re calling my dad chan! I’m going to call you Maru, and you have to call me Lili MAYBE Perla if I’m acting up.”

“Fine but I’m saying that I’m respected around here for being one the top students” he bragged as he put his hand on my head “and you’re just a little bitty baby still!”

“Ah! Get yo hand off my hair” I tickle his side to retract his hand “looks like this is my class, see ya later!”

“You don’t play fair Lili” he waved me off “have fun.”

 I walk in and see a few people already there, I looked around for my seat and mine is number 4. I set my bag down and get approached by someone.

“Um hi, you probably don’t recognize me but I’m the person you rescued at the exam” shakily spoke the person “I didn’t get a chance to say, but my name is Hoshi Togata.”

I looked at them and something was oddly familiar about them, like I knew them before the exam “Oh you made it in! I was worried if you placed and if you recovered well.”

“You were worried about me?” they blushed “well, I recovered just fine. My arm was broken but Nurse Eri healed me before I was supposed to go home.”

The bell rang and we all sat in our seats, Hoshi sat behind me.

“Good Morning class! And welcome to UA, my name is-”

“BAHAHA NO WAY!” I bursted into laughter “Yo we got Diaper Boy as homeroom teacher?!” 

“My name isn’t Diaper Boy!”

“Oh I’m sorry, Diaper Man!”

Our teacher rubbed his temples “Anyways, my name is Grape Juice but you can call me Mineta sensei.” He gave me a stern look “Miss Iida, I trust you’ll behave like your father.”

“Don’t compare me to that Turbo Rectangle!”

“It’s like listening to your mother in your father’s body” he muttered.

Once we went through a whole day of classes, Hoshi and I walk around.

“You know Togata, you look oddly familiar and it’s bothering me a bit.”

“How?” they sweat a bit “I’m just one of the boys!”

“Hmmm, I feel like we met before the exam” I rubbed my chin “but I can’t quite remember, we were probably children when it happened.”

“Well, actually” he put some thought into it “I was thinking the same thing sort of, would it help if I told you my dad is Lemillion?”

“Oh shit! It’s coming back to me!” I was wide eyed as we head to the parking lot “yea! They have 2 boys and a girl my age. OH THAT’S WHO! I was thinking about your sister, how is she by the way?”

“Oh ummm I don’t have a sister” the smile on his face disappeared as he said that.

“Huh? Maybe I was-” I hear a car honk, it was mom “oop, gotta go! See you tomorrow!”

I hop in the car and waved bye. I told my family of my school day and my mom couldn’t stop laughing at the fact that their school-mate Mineta was the homeroom teacher. But as I was getting ready for bed, one thing was bothering me... where did I see Hoshi before?

-Chapter 1, End-

Next>  

[zerozeroluckybang]

Roswell: So Much For The Afterglow Thoughts

Again. This is written after one viewing and right after watching it. Again. Spoilers ahead. Scroll through if you haven’t watched.

 Okay. So about this negative energy Max has seemed to acquire after healing Liz. I wonder if maybe it’s an echo of some of her feelings (anger and negativity towards the town, towards her sister, etc…).

Angry Max is… something else.

Also, Angry Max really gave us a look into what he is capable of. Max Evans is more than capable of killing, or at least we know it’s possible for him to lose control and actually injure someone.

The scene of Michael, Isobel, and Max sitting in that alley was everything. Part of me thinks that the three are sort of stuck together by circumstance. Even Max and Isobel, who pass as or actually are twins seem like maybe, had they not been so dependent on each other, would have drifted apart without this secret tying them together.

Michael is the character that seriously gets me in the feels. He comes across as the kind of guy who has this quiet anger and is deeper than he normally would let you see.

Michael and Alex are cute, and I need you to keep in mind that I didn’t date in HS and I don’t really date now, so I can’t relate. But, where they are coming from kind of confuses me. I think Malex have history. History that probably includes some love and some heartbreak, and part of me wonders if what’s happening between them now is an echo of what they left off on. Not saying it won’t grow from there. I mean, it’s been ten years. Things can’t be the same as they were (or at least not in the same way it was at 18). But like maybe there was this thing they had and it ended abruptly when Alex left for Iraq and now here they are, willing to figure things out. But it’ll be more complicated than that?

Speaking of echo, according to Carina Adly MacKenzie, Max and Liz’s ship name is ‘Echo’. Debate over. The boss has spoken.

I’m genuinely not sure who to trust in this series.

I don’t mind Liz being angry about Max lying to her, but I don’t like that she named him in front of Kyle.

I kind of feel bad for Cam (?) because Max is a million miles away.

Max’s back tattoo!

I also feel bad for Max. Because I think part of him was completely prepared for Liz to reject him. I don’t think he ever expected anything from her, and I think in his mind the outcome that happened was something inevitable, but he also allowed himself to hope at the same time.

Again, not to say Liz’s anger isn’t valid, but Max’s feelings aren’t invalid. As long as he doesn’t take that hurt out on her or blame her for it (honestly, I feel like this Max would just blame himself)

My theories on Rosa’s death are ever evolving. I think because they are showing us that Max saw Rosa the day she died may take some of the heat off of him being the killer. I mean, yes, we have seen what he is capable of, but I don’t think he had anything to do with it. I have some theories that I may post later but they aren’t fully formed because I’m only working off what I know, which isn’t a lot.

That burn mark on Michael’s hand. (That better not be a clue in Rosa’s death.)

I kind of feel like they’re going to spend all season hinting that one of the three aliens is the culprit only to drop a bombshell in the last moment about a new alien (the one who wasn’t caught during the crash)

Maria, Alex, and Liz. I stan this group of friends and I want more.

I like Maria. She didn’t have much to do this episode and I’m hoping as the season unfolds, we get a lot more of her.

I liked the first episode a little bit better, but this episode will probably get a good handful of views from me. I obsessed over the pilot last week and I’m going to scour this episode for every little tiny clue.

 Oops if I forgot anything else. I had to go for a drive after this episode to think and I may have forgotten a few things. (I’m sure I’ll be posting about throughout the week)

So what did everyone else think?

 Also, I have some insane theories about the actual crash that are probably not true but would make a great fic or something if anyone is interested.

[jamr0ck83]

What, Exactly, Have You Done to Help Build a Less Racist America?

So, here it is, the end of November.  I think we can all agree that 2020 was not the year we wanted (although I might argue that it’s not all of us who didn’t deserve it).  Yes, this year has been an absolute mess.  But also, it’s not some grand accident that just happened to befall us.  Everything that has transpired this year has been in the making for years, decades, centuries even.

We are getting rocked by Covid-19 because our healthcare system is so inadequate and predicated upon profit that it’s not at all set up to deal with this situation.  Also, one of the things that’s always been held as a virtue in America is its citizens’ sense of individualism.  Everyone is responsible for their own destiny and has the right to make any and every decision for themselves.  That’s what we’ve told ourselves makes us a great nation.  The problem with that is, in this pandemic scenario, many people then don’t feel obligated to withstand any kind of personal inconvenience to help keep others alive, even if those others are their own family members.  We want what we want when we want it, and we won’t take “no” for answer.  Unfortunately for us, pandemics aren’t really concerned with making sure Americans don’t have to play by the same rules the rest of the people on this planet do, and when viruses come to kill you, they will kill you if you don’t respond appropriately, and there’s no chapter in The Power of Positive Thinking that effectively helps you wish death away.

It’s an election year, which should’ve been a surprise to no one, especially not to those of us who have been counting down to this year since the 2016 Presidential Election.  And let’s be real; this was an awful election year.  Due to the realities (as opposed to promise) of living in a democratic republic, we really only have two viable political parties, and real talk, neither of them are meeting the needs of the people, and that’s definitely not new.  The Democratic Party offered way too many candidates, especially when they had absolutely no intention of letting anyone but Biden secure the nomination.  And it shouldn’t have surprised anyone that they did this.  The Democrats have BEEN riding the wave of appealing to the idealistic and progressive portions of the population for votes and then once those votes are received, their focus is keeping their own jobs.  And not even keeping their jobs for the sake of leading the nation and providing the people with what they need; they just want to keep their jobs. And Trump has spent a lifetime of telling half-truths and outright lies, so there was no scenario where he was going to abandon that to become a “respectable politician” this go-round.  So, his entire campaign was propaganda nonsense, and because all of our mainstream news outlets are so concerned with ratings, they played and replayed and replayed every ridiculous thing he said, which was helpful to no one.  Point being, the way our media corporations are cogs in the wheel of unfettered capitalism, that’s not new at all, either.

And then the #BlackLivesMatter Movement became a thing more than black people were talking about.  And to be clear, the movement itself isn’t new and black people being murdered by police with astronomical frequency isn’t new, but apparently things don’t matter until white people care about them, so this became a huge “aha” moment for many of them.  But again, all of this?  Not new.

My point is that all of these things have been building for some time, and it’s unfortunate that they all decided to implode in the same year, but the implosions were inevitable.  But when it comes to #BlackLivesMatter, it seemed like we had reached a crucial moment back in the spring.  People saw that video of George Floyd and then heard about Ahmaud Arbury and Breonna Taylor, and there seemed to be an urgent desire to get some societal changes made which would include tackling racism.  And a lot of people vowed that this time would be different.  White allies were going to rise up in droves and be the ones to see to it that this world, in which their privilege serves to oppress others, was going to change.  They said, “we’re going to have to be the ones to end racism, and we will.”  And as I recall, black folks were optimistic but skeptical, and there was a sense that many allies were basing their allegiance in their need to make themselves feel better instead of a need to see the humanity of all respected.  And to be fair, many of us black folks tried to warn them not to do this.  “It’s not about your feelings,” we said.  “Basing it on that alone isn’t sustainable,” we said.  But allies assured us they were in it for the long haul this time and would prove it with their actions.  And I, for one, was willing to see how that went.  So, I offered resources where they were needed and provided perspective on some of the issues and then trusted that white people were doing the work.  And this was a mistake.  And I don’t think the failure of most white allies to actually do the work is the mark of people being malicious; I just think they got bored and were ready to move on.  And I think they also saw that this wasn’t going to be as easy as getting everyone to “find common ground”.  And as the work began to require them to do more than post a black square and say “black lives matter” out loud, that became too inconvenient and too uncomfortable.

So now, it’s November.  And white allies, many of you were beside yourselves with shock to see Trump get so many votes, and it was nearly like 2016 all over again.  But what exactly did you perceive had changed since May that would mean less voters would align themselves with the white supremacy antics of the Republican Party?  How did you expect those votes to go from Republican to Democrat when you knew just from talking to your family that they had no intention of voting for Democrats?  What exactly did you think had been accomplished in the struggle to fight racism?  And what were the specific things you did in order to help make this happen?  Here; I will list a few examples of action steps, and you can see which of them you did.

Have you read any books by black authors regarding the history of racism in this country and the ways in which we’ve fought against it in the past?

Have you read anything by black authors regarding the contemporary issues facing Black America like higher unemployment and prison rates and the wealth gap to learn more about the systemic reasons why these problems persist?

Have you watched any documentaries about Black History and/or contemporary black issues like Eyes on the Prize, I Am Not Your Negro, and Central Park 5 by Ken Burns?

Have you arrived at the conclusion that the version of American History you were taught is fraught with grandiose lies promoting white supremacy and basically ignores any black people of prominence who weren’t Dr. King or Rosa Parks?

Have you wondered why it’s those two people that have been chosen as our black heroes by mainstream white culture?

Have you realized that even the version of Dr. King and Rosa Parks that you were taught that painted them as passive and nonthreatening is wholly inaccurate?

Have you checked out any black entertainment that you might have never thought to notice before like:

TV shows such as Living Single (which was ripped off and reworked into the mega hit we know as Friends) and A Different World (which tackled many issues of its day including AIDS, bigotry, and date rape AND had such an impact on the black community that, during its original run, enrollment in HBCUs increased drastically)?

Famous playwrights like Lorraine Hansberry and August Wilson?

Famous authors like Colson Whitehead and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie?

Famous poets like Langston Hughes and Nikki Giovanni or even someone more up-and-coming and contemporary like Kai Davis?

Famous artists like Jacob Lawrence and Kehinde Wiley?

Famous musicians like John Coltrane, Earth Wind & Fire, A Tribe Called Quest, and Talib Kweli?

Famous films like Malcolm X, The Hate U Give, and BlacKkKlansman (none of which rely on the overly-played and inaccurate trope of the white savior who ends up diffusing hostile racial conflicts by merely learning to care)?

Have you had any meaningful conversation with friends and family in which you explained the basis and need for the BLM movement and why it’s not a political stance to say that black people should not have to still be fighting to be acknowledged and respected in 2020 AND have you done that without validating any of their bigotry and misconceptions with phrases like “Yes, I agree that both sides are the problem” or “Yes, it’s valid to feel that being pro-western culture does not necessarily mean being pro-white”?

Have you looked inward and really thought about the biases you harbor within yourself, where they came from, and what you can do to re-conceptualize these ideas?

Have you checked on your black friends in these past several months?

Have you realized that you don’t really have any black friends or that you don’t have any black neighbors or that there are no black kids that go to your kids’ schools and see how problematic ALL of those things are?

Have you been aware of all the terrible things that have happened since the death of George Floyd that have traumatized the black community such as the death of Quawan Charles and the fact that the grand jury convened in Kentucky was not even given the option to issue murder indictments against the police officers who shot and killed Breonna Taylor?

Have you been following any contemporary black activists like Shaun King, Tamika Mallory, Gary Chambers, and Stacey Abrams who have been doing the legwork of enfranchising black voters, leading protests, and using their voices to lead and denounce systemic racism?

Have you been willing to determine whether white fragility is something you might unknowingly harbor and resolve to change that?

Have you grown concerned that support for BLM has dwindled significantly between the end of May and now, and have you decided to do something about that?

Have you realized that, if you were shocked by how many people STILL voted for Trump in this election, that probably means you’re not as in tune with the prevalence of white supremacy in modern America as you thought you were?

Have you re-examined your base level of respect for the Republican Party after witnessing them spend the last couple of months trying to steal this election and how that was in direct response to the belief that they couldn’t allow too many black votes to be counted because they’d likely be against them, which is not at all the way of a democracy?

Have you maintained the same anger and determination to “be the change” that you felt when you watched that video of George Floyd having the life choked out of him?

Have you finally come to the conclusion that grounding your fire to combat racism in your feelings CANNOT be the way to move forward, because the second you feel better, your desire for change will wane, even if nothing has really improved?

How many of these things can you honestly say you’ve done?  And I don’t ask that as some sort of indictment on your character or to shame you.  I ask because I am being honest and realistic when I tell you that any plan you might have that does not include the majority if not all of these things is not a plan that will work.  There are established methods for being effective allies; nobody is asking you to figure that out on your own.  People have been working to secure the rights of the oppressed for centuries, and it’s pretty certain that you’re NOT going to invent some new way that gets the job done AND allows you the comfort you are used to.  This can’t be like Covid-19 when many Americans assumed the rules of science don’t apply to them because they didn’t want them to.  And you don’t get to sit on this until you feel like playing a more active role is convenient, because people are dying while you make your plans for the holidays.  And maybe that’s a low blow, but I don’t know else to put it.  Black people are not a cause you can keep putting on the back burner because you’re not ready to deal with it.  And obviously no one has the power or ability to make you engage in ways in which you are not comfortable, but if that’s the case, then you need to own that.  And stop acting like racism is some rare occurrence in America that is largely on the run.  IT IS NOT.  So, stop telling black people that lie, because none of us believe it, and it’s insulting to constantly be told that, anyway.  You don’t have to be an ally, but you don’t get to opt out of being one and still claim to be a defender of all humanity.  Either you are someone who believes something is wrong and you want to work to change it, or you are someone who doesn’t care.  There is no middle ground, there are no further considerations to be made.  It’s not hard to decide which of these people you are.  So, which one are you and what are you going to do about it?

Above image from WAM Theatre

[wolfieonatypewriter]

Collision Course

Word count: 1608

Summary: He was lost and deep within sovereign territory without any permission what so ever. What could he do?

Balder and Rosa's first meeting, an event that sets off the chain reaction for everything that follows.

AN: Part 1 of an ongoing AU series about Rosa and Balder’s relationship throughout the years

“Come now, little ones. We must move before the storm settles in.”

His younger wholly charges were having some difficulty focusing enough to follow the rest of the herd which made locating somewhere better suited for his flock that much harder.

Tapping his cane gently on the straggler to get her to move, everyone managed to start going in what he hoped was the direction of a safe pasture, away from the flooded valley.

“My, my… I heard Lumen travelled in flocks but had never guessed it would be quite so literal.” A voice broke through the silence of the forest, coming from the top of one of the granite boulders littered about the steep valley.

He whirled around to the vaguely mocking voice to find a Witch perched on the smooth rock, her eyes shining with a mirth that was bordering on insulting.

“Umbra!” He growled, pointing his herding cane at her before realizing it wasn't his glaive and quickly lowering it, fighting a rising blush. “Begone, I have no issue with you.”

She chuckle, jumping down from her perch and landing with a near soundless touch. The commotion made his flock shuffle away nervously, startled bleats marking their retreat closer to him.

“Ah, but I have issue with you.” She tutted, and a pair of long revolvers materialized in her hand, twirling them with practiced ease as she slowly circled him “You're on Crescent Valley, Sage and I'm sure you can appreciate the issue?”

Balder blanched and looked up, trying to figure out where the sun was behind the lead coloured clouds so he could know where the mountains that bordered Sunrise Valley were. No, he was sure he was still well within the boundaries of his home.

“You lie!” He accused, having given up on trying to orient himself and deciding to pay attention to his interloper.

“I do not.” She reiterated, pointing towards a mountain range to her left. “You've crossed to this side of Dusk's Peak, therefore, you are on our lands with your adorably fluffy clouds.”

His stomach clenched in harsh knots as he tried to see where in Paradiso he had wandered into. If the Witch was telling the truth…

He spotted Dusk’s Peak in the distance, the official boundaries of Sunrise and Crescent Valley and he was clearly on the wrong side of it. If the powers that be found out he had trespassed, however accidentally it has been, they would have his head.

With a slow movement, Balder coiled and glared at his interloper, preparing to summon his Formal and weapon when she dismissed him with a gloved hand.

She drilled him with a stare, grey eyes glinting with danger and power behind her butterfly glasses and black cowl. “Your kind are always so quite lucky, it must be the divine light guiding you I’d wager.” He tensed again, hands itching to summon his holy glaive but she just quirked an eyebrow at him  “ I’m the only one who has spotted the bleaty ones.”

She cocked her head and dropped her guns back into her summoning void. “Well, yet of course. It’s only a matter of time before my Umbra sisters run into you and your suitably lost lot so I would advise you to go back by the mountain pass and stick to the river.”

He looked around and couldn't feel any other hints of dark magic or of an encroaching coven. Balder relaxed a fraction of an inch, his back adopting a less solid stance and he leaned on his herding staff with a much more relaxed posture than what he was truly feeling. She didn’t seem interested in attacking him or apparently reporting him to the authorities but nothing ever came free. “Why?”

The Witch shrugged and petted the lamb that had trotted over to nose at her charms with a gentle hand and he was scared when he didn't bolt back to his mother's legs like he did with everyone else. “I’ve spotted you a while ago and you seem to care a lot about your charges.” She chuckled down at the small lamb when he nibbled at her wrist jewelry, undaunted by her large size. “I wager you really did get lost, especially since the rains last week pooled in the lowlands and it was no place to leave animals.”

Of course, she wasn’t supposed to know that quite so well if it was forbidden to cross territories without explicit permission from the sovereign clan but as with all rules, the real problem only started when one got caught. She was very good at not getting caught, much to her roommate's eternal chagrin.

“I can’t guarantee you’ll find pastures that are suitable back in Sunrise Valley but you should not stay here. “ She couldn’t, in good conscience, turn him into the authorities.

When she had spotted him by the river, she nearly turned tail and sounded the alarm. After all, she was on patrol duty that day and nobody had told her to expect a Sage barreling into the borderlands. In the 21 years she had lived, never once had she seen a diplomatic envoy or even known of such trips into their territory, so if it was to be expected, she was sure the job of keeping an eye out would fall to a high ranking Tribunal and not her, barely a full fledged Umbra.

When her decision was about 90% made, the flock streamed into the small meadow and their shepherd, not all that younger than her and about as gangly as her friend Clara, looked up and breathed what she assumed was a prayer.

He had fussed over them for a good while, pottering about his charges and checking for injuries with a methodical care she was surprised to see was ever so loving and tender.

So, she decided to wait and see what he would do and he looked so lost, she figured he was just trying to do his job to the best of his ability.

What was the harm in giving him a chance to leave? If he was a spy, the only thing he had managed to see was forest and rolling green meadows.

Balder kept silent for a few seconds, the only sounds were of his flock and their conversational bleats in the background.

His gut was screaming at him to be wary but he had no choice but to trust her. All things considered, if she had wanted she could have summoned a whole coven on his head and he was sure they would not be nearly as accommodating as this Witch seemed to be.

All he could try and do was venture through the pass and cross Dusk’s Peak to safety, preferably with as many sheep as he had left with.

“I thank you, the flash floods have compromised much of our space and eroded some of my references…” He admitted, scratching at his barely there stubble in embarrassment. When the Elder had said his tracking skills could use improvement, it was most likely this he was talking about.

She laughed at his earnest statement and he could see the material of her cowl move with her grin. Good to know the Umbra across the valley had a sense of humor.

“I’m Rosa and I promise to let you go unimpeded if you can answer me just one question.” She said, lifting her hand and twirling her index in the air, amusing ringing clear in her tone.

“There is always payment with your kind! Is it because your partnership with Demons?” He shot back just as fast, echoing her early statement with a dry tone, feeling more confident he would would manage to get away with his mishap.

“You needn’t be like that, Sage. I just want to know…” She set her index to her chin and tapped in a mock display of deep thought, the theatrics as delicious as they were unnecessary. “Is it easier to shepherd when you are your own sheep dog?”

He burned a deep scarlet at her question and wringed his cane in his hands, the wood creaking in complaint. “Yes…” He mumbled which caused a bark of laughter from Rosa but he continued, determined to grind out a proper answer. Of all the questions she could ask! “It is actually. It does make things easier.”

She chuckled a couple more times and he managed to take full stock of where he was and where he had to go next. Balder just wanted this day to be over so bad.

“Does that satisfy your feline curiosity?”

At her nod, he whistled loudly and a chorus of bleats answered him, the shuffling of hooves starting immediately. “I shall take my leave, then...Rosa.”

She stood to the side as the mass of sheep went by, speeding up as they crossed her eyesight as fidgety flock prey were prone to doing.

The whole flock was a couple of yards away from her with Balder at the rear. He was probably waiting for her to leave his line of sight before turning into his Beast Within and really putting a move on his fluffy charges.

He stopped abruptly and turned his head back, golden monocle glinting in the weak afternoon sun. “I’m Balder, by the way and you have my gratitude.”

“I shall use it wisely!” She said, setting two fingers to her forehead in a mock salute.

He chuckled and clicked his tongue at the sheep, finally leaving the valley and taking the noisy chatter of bleats with him.

That intersection of light and dark had gone well, all things considered

[morozovastarkovs]

Kierarktina: An analysis

Because this keeps bothering me somehow, I decided to make a post about it, specifically about my 3 theories on how this love triangle could possibly turn out in the 3rd book. Spoilers for Lord of Shadows.

1.) Kieran becomes Unseelie King and Marktina is endgame  This is the one I believe to be most likely, at the current point in time. For one, Adaon is definitely not going to be Unseelie King — plans rarely work out perfectly that way in these types of novels and also, I feel like he’s probably going to die. Plus, I don’t see why else Kieran had to be royalty and not just some random faerie dude, if not to make use of this aspect of his character. Also, the whole thing about kings not being allowed to have a consort? I mean, it kind of seems too on the nose to be foreshadowing, but there it is. And this would be a very convenient way to sort of get him out of the picture.

Why do I think Marktina will be endgame? I don’t know, but at the end of Lord of Shadows, it also seemed like it was the end of Kierark. The way that Kieran basically tells Mark that their debts are paid and he’ll be off, kinda dramatically implying that they’ll never see each other again, felt very ominous. Also the whole love declaration while kneeling (which was described as a sign of forgiveness in Faerie) seemed... kind of final? Like, Mark forgave him, told him (one last time?) that he loved him, case closed. Obviously, this does have a lot of holes in it — I definitely do not think that this was their last interaction, but like I said, it did have an air of finality to it.

Plus, Mark kind of seemed to gravitate a lot more towards Cristina near the end. The way he asked her to stay and sleep with him (in a non-sexual way, mind you) and just overall the little things, the glances, the touches, all of that is a lot more pronounced and happens more often near the end LoS. (”“Mark and I are not meant to be near each other as the binding spell wears off.” Mark moved closer to her, though, as she went to the door. Their hands brushed. Had he thought she was beautiful the moment he met her? He remembered coming awake to the sound of her voice, seeing her sitting on the floor of his room with her knife open.” and this scene is right before he basically has his weird declaration moment with Kieran).

Lastly, in my opinion the strongest piece of evidence for this, even though I can’t find the passage for the life of me because I can’t quite remember anymore when this actually happens in the book, timeline-wise (anyone help me out here?): There’s one scene I vaguely remember, where they’re all asked this random question about what they see, first thing that comes to mind, and Mark answers “A rose with a thorn.” LIKE. DAMN. Mark Blackthorn and Cristina Mendoza Rosales. Sure. It’s just the kind of weird, little foreshadowing that you would immediately forget & not put much weight on, that Cassandra Clare just loves which is why I think this is really important.

Side note: I’ve seen a lot of people talking about how Mark’s feelings/love for Cristina are/is somehow lesser than his for Kieran are, because they’re often described as more “human” but I don’t think that’s neccessarily a bad thing? Like, for Mark, a down-to-earth, “human” type of relationship would probably be a good balance for him with his “wilder” faerie side that’s often sort of warring with his Shadowhunter side? Like Mark said himself, it’s an “easy, restful sort of love” with Cristina which is something that a more restless soul like Mark would definitely benefit from. Like yin and yang. Like coming home. That shit, you know. Also, the “passion” and “fire” Kierark seem to have is also a good metaphor for, you know, .... burning out. 

2.) Poly Kierarktina. I honestly didn’t think this was possible before, but I do think there’s a possibility of this actually happening now, at the end of LoS. There’s obviously something going on between Kieran and Cristina, although I’m still not quite sure what it is, especially because we don’t know whether he’s actually gay or bisexual. Most faeries are bisexual, so there’s a compelling case to be made for him being bi as well I was informed that Cassie has confirmed him to be bisexual and thus, being at least able to develop romantic/sexual (?) feelings for Cristina, too. I’m still a bit iffy about this one though because Mark and Kieran have an unhealthy and deeply flawed thing going on that has still yet to be addressed — especially if they continue to be in a romantic relationship, regardless of whether that relationship also encompasses a third person or not. At the moment, I don’t see enough development to make this actually work in a healthy way, but that doesn’t mean that Cassie can’t still throw in that development in QoAaD. Also, right now, I find it hard to believe that either Kieran or Cristina would actually be truly 100% okay and onboard with a triad (or even vee) poly relationship, because neither of them seem to want to really “share” Mark (for lack of a better term; I know that’s not what ply relationships are about). Another thing poking holes in this ship is the fact that with this option, I really don’t know what Kieran’s .... purpose would have been? Like, at this point I’m not sure why Kieran had to be introduced (especially as an Unseelie prince) if Clare is not going to follow through with that at all and have that be important somehow, and I don’t see it being important any other way than him becoming Unseelie King, tbh. Maybe someone else could come up with another purpose he could serve besides?

3.) Kierark endgame and single Cristina. I think there’s like, a .0001% chance of Cristina getting back together with Diego yet again, so if Mark decides to (monogamously) end up with Kieran at the end, Cristina would probably end up single (I don’t think she’ll be getting another love interest in QoAaD, lmao). Why? Cristina won’t let herself be fooled by Diego a third time and also, she just doesn’t have any (romantic) feelings for him anymore, that’s canon.  Anyway, there are a few hints pointing at a possible Kierark endgame. For one, Cassandra Clare just loooooves m/m ships. She will throw out m/m ships until the end of time while throwing f/f shippers/fans the bare minimum bones. All of her other bisexual characters have, so far, also ended up with the same gender. Also, the fact that this whole “the Unseelie King can’t have a consort” thing is so on the nose, like I previously mentioned — it could also be foreshadowing that Kieran, when Unseelie King, will not give a shit about that stupid rule and just have a consort anyway. 

In the end, however, I think this is a pretty unlikely outcome, because I doubt that Cassandra Clare would put that much effort into building up & developing Mark & Cristina’s relationship so much in LoS only to throw it all away in the end. Mark & Kieran’s relationship stagnated a lot in LoS and didn’t really move forward in any huge ways, at least I didn’t think so — yes, Mark was honest with him about the whole “Would we have chosen each other if the situation was different?” dilemma, but they didn’t really make any ... progress with it? Like, they left things at giving Mark some space and time to think about it and figure it out, and I’ve already talked about their last (real) interaction in LoS.

ANYWAY, that’s that. Idk, I just had the urge to write that all down and post it, maybe some of you want to discuss and have things to add, maybe some things I overlooked and/or didn’t consider in this post? I’m very open to discussion on this and would love some new/other perspectives, so feel free to comment! 

[traceyropper-blog]

America's Safest Affordable Cities … That Won't Put You to Sleep

mihailomilovanovic/iStock

Buying a home these days is a high-stakes, need-to-have/nice-to-have equation. You need a home within an hour's drive of work; it would be nice to have one that's in walkable distance. You need a full-size kitchen with room for your five-person brood; it would be nice to have a chef's kitchen with La Cornue Grand Palais range, Meneghini Arredamenti fridge, and, heck, a Mugnaini wood-fired pizza oven. You need at least 2.5 bathrooms; it would be nice to have a master en suite spa with a touchscreen-controlled smart bidet. Dream the dream, my friends!

So what's the neediest of all need-to-haves? You need to find a safe place to live where you can still afford a great home. And wouldn't it be nice if there were even fun stuff to do after work and on weekends? Yes, indeed.

Realtor.com set out to find these seductive strongholds where you can have it all. And we're not talking about the boonies: We zeroed in on metropolitan areas, which include cities and the surrounding suburbs. (Note: Cities often have higher crime rates than their less-populated surroundings.)

Research-and common sense-indicates that when crime goes up, property values go down. Meanwhile, home buyers will pay more to live in locations with lower rates of violent crime, according to a 2015 Auburn University study. It doesn't hurt that these areas typically also have top public schools.

“When homeowners think about the biggest investment of their life, top of mind is how safe an area would be to live in and raise a family,” says Rick Palacios Jr., director of research at John Burns Real Estate Consulting.

They also want to make sure that their investment appreciates over time, which it typically won't do as much in areas with growing crime. “High crime rates unnerve potential home buyers,” he says. Um, yeah.

The good news: Crime has declined sharply since the early '90s. Violent offenses, which include homicide, assault, and robbery, plummeted 49% from 1993 to 2017, according to FBI data. This explains why some of our safest places were once known for riots and rampant car thefts before they rebounded. (The downside: Gentrification is leading to some longtime residents being priced out.)

The places that made our affordable safe harbor ranking are a mix of smaller metros that never really struggled with high crime, and cities once riddled with problems that have successfully pulled off a turnaround. Our list is concentrated on resurgent Midwest, Southern, and Rust Belt cities. No Western metros were included because home prices are simply too high.

We analyzed crime data provided by NeighborhoodScout, a website that tracks community data, focusing on America's 150 largest metros. We eliminated those with high rates of violent or property crime, and with home prices above the (roughly) $300,000 national median. Next, we zeroed in on cities with great extracurriculars-running the gamut from nightlife, to kayaking, to great indie bookstores-as tracked on Yelp.com.**

Safety, affordability, and fun! Yep, they can coexist. Let's take a tour.

Safest affordable metros

Tony Frenzel

1. Grand Rapids, MI

Median home list rice: $280,000 Total crime rate: 18.38%

Luxury condo building in Grand Rapids, MI

realtor.com

As some Michigan cities, including Flint and Detroit, continue to face hard times, Grand Rapids is booming. The very low 2.5% metro unemployment rate is reason No. 1 for the upswing.

“The economy is strong here, with lots of jobs at different levels,” says Trisha Cornelius, a local real estate agent with Keller Williams. “The neighborhoods are affordable and clean. There isn't much in the way of urban blight.”

Indeed, only 2.2% of homes here are vacant, compared with 9.6% in Flint and 6.5% in Detroit, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

Meanwhile, the metro has been attracting younger residents lured by those plentiful gigs, the affordable housing, and the influx of craft breweries in the area.

“A 25-year-old can actually afford to buy a home here,” Cornelius says. They're snagging luxury, one-bedroom condos priced at around $200,000 like this converted, historic school building spanning two city blocks.

But bargain prices won't last forever. While the national housing market is starting to slow, realtor.com projects Grand Rapids will be the second-hottest market in 2019, with a 8.2% projected sales price growth.

Local R&R: Buckle your blades on for ice-skating in Rosa Parks Circle.

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2. Pittsburgh, PA

Median home list price: $173,000 Total crime rate: 18.44%

Home in Brighton Heights neighborhood of Pittsburgh, PA

realtor.com

As Pittsburgh's steel mills shuttered and residents pulled up stakes, many neighborhoods fell into a crime-ridden, downward spiral. But that feels like ancient history these days, as the city continues to reinvent itself as a thriving corporate center for startups and tech biggies like Uber and Google alike. Now those once-hurting neighborhoods, like Brighton Heights, are seeing their fortunes rise and rise, with an influx of new workers moving in.

Brighton Heights “is a neighborhood in transition. … When I was growing up in the '90s, it was certainly not a place for a first-time home buyer; but that's changed,” says local restate agent Bobby West of Coldwell Banker.

Young professionals and home flippers are buying up many of the community's Craftsman-style homes built in the early 1900s for under $150,000.

The number of violent crimes plummeted 24.8% from 2000 to 2014, according to the most recent FBI data. While crime is low in the metro, there are still some problem areas within the city limits. And residents are still hurting from last October's tragic shooting at a Pittsburgh synagogue, a hate crime that left 11 dead.

Local R&R: Fixate on flora fantasies at the Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens.

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3. Port St. Lucie, FL

Median home list price: $285,100 Total crime rate: 19.16%

Four-bedroom home in Port St. Lucie, FL

realtor.com

About two hours north of Miami, Port St. Lucie is a quiet Atlantic beach town, long a magnet for  retirees.

“Here, it's just a really calm mix of people, mostly families and retirees,” says Richard L. McKinney, a real estate agent at Atlantic Shores Realty Expertise. “People are just coming here to live and commute to work, so we don't get all that ruckus that comes with tourism” in other Florida ocean areas.

This beach town is made up of lots of new single-home and condo communities. And prices are still reasonable, leading realtor.com to name Port St. Lucie one of the most affordable beach towns in June. Buyers can find condos just minutes from the beach for $150,000, says McKinney.

Local R&R: Gaze or gape at gators at the Savannas Preserve State Park.

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4. El Paso, TX

Median home list price: $175,800 Total crime rate: 20.48%

El Paso, TX, ranch house

realtor.com

A combination of tougher police action and changing demographics has led to substantial decline in violent crime in this once-dicey metro on the U.S.-Mexico border. In the early '90s, El Paso often had more than 50 homicides a year. But from 2012 to 2016, the city averaged fewer than 18 homicides, according to the city's police department. That's good news for locals, and for long-term property values.

Finding a single-story, brick ranch under $200,000 in El Paso is a breeze. In fact, last year realtor.com named El Paso one of the best markets for middle-class home buyers. Developer-friendly zoning laws and low land costs make building homes here cheaper than in other parts of the country.

Local R&R: Manage your mountain mania! Start climbing at Franklin Mountains State Park.

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5. Syracuse, NY

Median home list price: $160,000 Total crime rate: 21.4%

Condos in Syracuse, NY

realtor.com

In the early 2000s, former industrial center Syracuse began pumping millions into renovating crime-ridden communities near downtown to entice college students to live there after graduation, instead of scramming as soon as possible. Crime dropped so much that everyone from young professionals to empty nesters bought up remodeled condos there.

“Over a decade, downtown Syracuse went from being unsafe to the hottest spot to live” in the area, says Amber Spain-Mosher, a real estate agent at Re/Max in Syracuse. “The residential growth downtown is unlike anything we've seen before. And it shows no sign of slowing down.”

Homes in nearby urban neighborhoods have also received a boost. As the city became safer, more people swooped in and bought up fixer-uppers just above the $100,000 price range. That's played a role in home prices rising 9.6% over the past year.

Local R&R: The 13-day Great New York State Fair attracts nearly a million visitors annually.

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6. Hartford, CT

Median home list price: $260,000 Total crime rate: 21.97%

Three-bedroom home in Parkville in Hartford, CT

realtor.com

Hartford is a charming town with stately, older homes and rich history dating to Colonial America. And it's packed with affluent and highly educated homeowners who live in the burbs.

But that's not the only reason crime is low here. Several neighborhoods in the city proper, which has a higher crime rate than the metro, have seen an increase in development. Investors are setting their sights on areas such as Parkville, a once-dicey neighborhood that now has a burgeoning startup and art scene. They're flipping 100-year-old multifamily homes, then selling or renting them out to Connecticut College grads.

“All the work to make downtown safer is paying dividends: Standard old office buildings are being converted into nice apartments,” says David Griggs, president and CEO of the MetroHartford Alliance, Hartford's economic development arm

Local R&R: Huckleberry hysteria! Go nuts visiting the Mark Twain House, where the American Master lived from 1874 to 1891.

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7. Fayetteville, AR

Median home list price: $272,600 Total crime rate: 23.21%

Two-bedroom home in Fayetteville, AR

realtor.com

Retail giant Walmart has its headquarters in Bentonville, in the Fayetteville metro, and that's long ensured high property values and low crime. And as the company continues to expand, so does the real estate market here.

“We don't have the wrong side of the tracks here,” says Jill Bell, a local real estate agent at Crye-Leike. “[Even neighborhoods like] far south Fayetteville that had a bad reputation in the past has been revitalized.”

Local R&R: Get your theater on! See nationally acclaimed productions in an intimate setting at TheatreSquared.

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8. Springfield, MA

Median home list price: $244,950 Total crime rate: 26.14%

This four-bedroom Cape Cod in Springfield, MA, is listed for $249,900.

realtor.com

Massachusetts has the top public schools in the nation, according to U.S. News & World Report. It's no wonder buying a home in the state isn't cheap-the median list price is $450,000. That's where the Springfield metro sets itself apart: Folks can score reasonably priced homes, enroll their children in high-performing schools, and live in a low-crime area.

Communities such as East Longmeadow, home to East Longmeadow High School, which boasts a 98% graduation rate, are highly sought-after. And buyers can find many four-bedroom, Cape Cod–style homes priced around $250,000.

But crime within the Springfield city limits is higher, with neighborhoods such as McKnight and Forest Park all having some issues. In Forest Park, the vehicle theft rate is three times higher than the statewide rate-so be cautious.

Local R&R: Ramp up your roller-coaster love with a trip to Six Flags New England.

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9. Cincinnati, OH

Median home list price: $233,600 Total crime rate: 26.26%

Renovated condos in Over-the-Rhine in Cincinnati, OH

realtor.com

Cincinnati doesn't exactly spring to mind when most folks think about low crime. In 2001, the city burst onto the national consciousness when riots broke out after the police shooting of an unarmed 19-year-old black man. In the years that followed, many avoided the city.

But in recent years, things have improved. The Over-the-Rhine neighborhood, where much of the rioting took place, might be the city's biggest success story. Many of the three-story brick buildings, built 150 years ago by German immigrants, have been remodeled and turned into condos that sometimes sell for over $500,000. And OTR, as it's known by the locals, is among the region's top spots to be on a Saturday night with bars and nightclubs.

The Cincinnati metro is packed with booming, low-crime suburbs with good schools and new, sprawling subdivisions, including some just across the Ohio River and in Warren County, one of the state's fastest-growing counties.

Local R&R: Chow down on Cincinnati-style chili-with spaghetti and copious amounts of cheese, natch.

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10. Fort Wayne, IN

Median home list price: $180,000 Total crime rate: 26.62%

Buyers can snag four-bedroom homes in Fort Wayne, IN, for $150,000.

realtor.com

These days, the streets of downtown Fort Wayne are lined with new businesses, restaurants, and moving trucks. But this Midwestern destination for young professionals wasn't always like this.

“A decade ago, Fort Wayne's downtown wasn't the best place after dark,” says Ryan Dollens, a real estate agent and appraiser with Keller Williams Realty in Fort Wayne. “There was nothing going on-it was eerie.”  

Things started to change in 2010, when the city spent $30 million on Parkview Field, now home to Fort Wayne's popular minor-league team, the TinCaps. Then the city started to renovate Harrison Square in downtown, which included building new apartment complexes, a hotel, and a park with amphitheater. The efforts paid off.

“By adding all these businesses, restaurants, and apartments, they've really been able to clean up the streets,” Dollens says.

Buyers have responded, with prices soaring 11.1% over the past 12 months. Last July, it was ranked second on realtor.com's hottest markets list. But despite the hype, buyers can still snag three- to four-bedroom, two-story homes just outside downtown for under $200,000.

Local R&R: Soar with the butterflies and other wildlife at the Eagle Marsh Nature Preserve.

* A metropolitan statistical area is a designation that includes the urban core of a city and the surrounding smaller towns and cities. We limited our rankings to just one metro per state to ensure some geographic diversity.

** We used Yelp.com for the number of per capita nightlife venues, highly rated restaurants, kayaking/rafting/scuba diving opportunities, gyms, libraries, bookstores, and campgrounds.

Allison Underhill contributed to this report.

The post America's Safest Affordable Cities … That Won't Put You to Sleep appeared first on Real Estate News & Insights | realtor.com®.

[newsbiteswithjennysok]

Aug 1, 2019

1. Julianne Hough told the Women's Health it was awkward breaking the news to Brooks about her sexuality.

'I [told him], "You know I'm not straight, right?" And he was like, "I'm sorry what?" I was like, "I'm not. But I choose to be with you,"' she said.

Julianne did not elaborate on which women she has dated.

She added, 'I think there's a safety with my husband now that I'm unpacking all of this, and there's no fear of voicing things that I've been afraid to admit or that I've had shame or guilt about because of what I've been told or how I was raised.'

Hough has never before admitted that she has been with women.

Though there has been no reporting on her dating women, her relationship with men has been well documented.

Hough dated former DWTS co-star Mark Ballas from 2002 until 2004 then was engaged to Zack Wilson from 2006 until 2007.

She next dated Chuck Wicks from 2008 until 2009 and was with Ryan Seacrest from April 2010 to March 2013.

In February 2014, it was revealed that she began dating NHL player Laich, then of the Washington Capitals, in December 2013.

The couple announced their engagement on August 18, 2015 and they were married on July 8, 2017.

2. Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark kicked off their engagement festivities by celebrating with the cast of her reality show, “Vanderpump Rules.”

Taking to Instagram on Wednesday, Schroeder, who said “yes” to Clark after he popped the question at a cemetery, shared clips from what appeared to be a dinner party at Lisa Vanderpump‘s Villa Rosa home, with guests including Lala Kent, Scheana Marie, Tom Schwartz, Katie Maloney, and newlyweds Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright, among others.

Clark, a casting director, was later filmed addressing the table, saying: “Guys, I love you. New family, I hope to just kick ass as a son-in-law.”

Schroeder, who started dating Clark early last year, first announced the engagement news on Instagram.

“I woke up today just thinking I was going to tour mausoleums to see if I wanted to buy one, and this, f–king this,” Schroeder said, holding up her hand with a stunning engagement ring from Clark.

3. 90 Day Fiance Jay Smith released from prison & ICE custody, hugs rumored pregnant girlfriend Kayla.

If the barber shop bathroom is a-rockin’, then don’t come a-knockin’ because 90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After star Jay Smith is a free man once again! And it looks as though he already has a new woman to cheat on!

Four weeks after his arrest for violating his ex Ashley’s protective order, Jay was bailed out by his Ego Ink tattoo buddy Daryl Bingaman earlier today. Daryl posted a photo of a $4,500 check made out to The Department of Homeland Security on Instagram and wrote: “Bailing this Jamaican bull out.”

A video of Jay’s release was posted by Kayla O’Brien, the local strip club worker who launched a GoFundMe for Jay and took over his Instagram account soon after he was detained. Despite her insistence that she and Jay are just friends, Kayla was a bit over-the-top with her caption for the clip: “My f**king baby 🥰🤩😍🥳 so happy, so grateful ❤️❤️”

Meanwhile, Jay’s ex Ashley Martson Smith did an interview with the Dom Nati Show that was published earlier today in which she hinted that Jay’s gal pal Kayla might be pregnant with Jay’s baby. “There’s already a lot of rumors going around that his girlfriend, who’s running the GoFundMe, is pregnant,” Ashley said in the interview, “and from what I saw — she was at court — she definitely looked like she could have been expecting.”

4. On the inaugural season of Lifetime’s Marrying Millions, viewers are introduced to Las Vegas real estate mogul Gentille and her construction worker boyfriend Brian. Their main story line, outside of the fact that they are allegedly from vastly different economic classes, is that Gentille doesn’t know a lot about Brian’s personal life — including the fact that he lives with his parents. As it turns out, there may be even more about Brian’s life that Gentille (or at least Marrying Millions viewers) are unaware of! Namely, that he is an aspiring actor with more than 60 acting credits on IMDB!

Most of Brian’s acting credits are under the name Brian Blu, which is different than his actual last name. However, his IMDB profile is now under the very suspiciously generic name Dave Smith. But, if you scroll through his acting credits, you can clearly see that most of his appearances were under the name Brian Blu.

In addition to appearing in popular films like The Hangover Part III, Now You See Me, and War Dogs, Brian has also graced the small screen numerous times — including both scripted and unscripted TV shows. Among his credits are appearances on Modern Family, Bosch, Royal Pains, Burn Notice, Bad Ink, Ray Donovan, and Pawn Stars.

5. Millennials are apparently holding off on dating, because it's too expensive.

Match's "Singles In America" study examined the dating habits of more than 5,000 American adults found that about a third of millennials feel like their financial stability is having an effect on their readiness to pursue love.

Additionally, 21 percent believe they need to reach a certain income level before even pursuing a relationship.

The study also found that a majority of men say the #MeToo movement has caused them to act differently with many of them saying it is has caused them to act more reserved at work towards female colleagues.

With technology encroaching on all parts of our lives, the study looked at "robot sex" and one in four singles would have sex with a robot, yet nearly half of singles would consider it cheating if their partner had sex with a robot.

The results weren't all gloomy though. 59 percent of study participants admitted to falling in love with someone they didn't expect to.

[jillianrenstamaria-blog]

THE BOOK THIEF

A. Whats made the film interesting? What I love about The Book Thief is its ability to humanise an episode in human history - Nazi Germany - where from the outside it is hard to understand how ordinary people can have lived under that regime and accepted what it did. Because we need to empathise with the characters, we need to see how Liesel and the Hubermans grow and come to challenge the regime in their own ways, and how they do that through Liesel’s learning and their own empathy for Max and for each other. That in itself makes a powerful point in a subtle way: mass fear and hatred of other human being relies on making them “other” than us, a fiction that breaks down when you know them as individuals. We defuse hatred by connecting with other people

B. Which part of the film did you like the best? Why? The Story and the Scope: Set in the reign of Hitler,  in a town of Germany, the story is about a girl, Leisel, her family and  friend. The story is about the harsh realities, about the parental  love, about the friendship, about the selflessness and selfishness,  about the rich and the poor, about the war and yes it is about the death  too.  Full marks to the author for brilliantly depicting the  relationships, especially for the adorable depiction of Leisel’s cordial  relationship with her father, I almost felt like it is the depiction of  the my relationship with my daughter.  The condition of the Jews and  the treatment met to them under the Hitler’s regime is also profoundly  presented. The Presentation and Organization: Wow!!  Delightful!! Unique!! The presentation is simply superlative. With death  as the narrator, the tone of the story changes multiple shades – with  death being incisive at times, humorous at some places and sarcastic at  some other times. Very peculiar to this book, the author presents the  by-product thoughts (if that is the term I can use for all the secondary  thoughts which flow in mind while focus is on primary thoughts) in the  form of intervention notes, right in the middle of the page and these  notes actually add lot of value to the story.  The book is organized  into 10 chapters with several  small sub chapters under each.  Such kind  of organization tempts reader in to reading those extra few chapters  which usually would be postponed to the next seating. The Flow of plot: On this front too, Zusak is  brilliant. No amount of organized approach would help if the plot does  not evolve smoothly.  At know point in time, author has lost the grip on  the plot.  The flashbacks and the flash-forwards (Oh, this is another  unique attribute, the author has flash-forwarded the story on few  occasions and reveled the secrets when least expected, and then he  merrily returns the story to its present) never looks out of story and  are well timed.

C. Do you think the actors portrayed the characters well? Why or Why not? It’s about Liesel (Sophie Nelisse), the orphaned 12-year-old daughter of German communist activists, taken in by a middle-aged couple in 1938. She and the smitten boy next door Rudy (Nico Liersch) join the Hitler Youth and goose-step around town burning books and fetishising der Führer as little twinges of conscience and doubt slowly begin to manifest themselves. Then her adoptive parents Hans and Rosa. Frankly, not a lot of suspense ensues. The movie tiptoes far too politely around the stark historical facts of the era in which it unfolds, and its Nazis are little more than generic school bullies and officious creeps in uniforms. Meanwhile, weirdly enough, the film’s narrator is Death himself, appearing in voiceover by Tom Wilkinson to carry off Leisel’s brother in the first minute and reappearing to tot up a hefty final body count. Then there’s the problem of English-speaking actors doing German accents, the bane of movies about the world wars since time immemorial. Rush and Watson, excellent actors both, give it their best Ganz and Schygulla, but as usual it’s like strapping the actors into the auditory equivalent of a fat-suit, with a 70% loss of conviction guaranteed from the outset.

[jillren-blog]

A. Whats made the film interesting? What I love about The Book Thief is its ability to humanise an episode in human history - Nazi Germany - where from the outside it is hard to understand how ordinary people can have lived under that regime and accepted what it did. Because we need to empathise with the characters, we need to see how Liesel and the Hubermans grow and come to challenge the regime in their own ways, and how they do that through Liesel’s learning and their own empathy for Max and for each other. That in itself makes a powerful point in a subtle way: mass fear and hatred of other human being relies on making them “other” than us, a fiction that breaks down when you know them as individuals. We defuse hatred by connecting with other people B. Which part of the film did you like the best? Why? The Story and the Scope: Set in the reign of Hitler,  in a town of Germany, the story is about a girl, Leisel, her family and  friend. The story is about the harsh realities, about the parental  love, about the friendship, about the selflessness and selfishness,  about the rich and the poor, about the war and yes it is about the death  too.  Full marks to the author for brilliantly depicting the  relationships, especially for the adorable depiction of Leisel’s cordial  relationship with her father, I almost felt like it is the depiction of  the my relationship with my daughter.  The condition of the Jews and  the treatment met to them under the Hitler’s regime is also profoundly  presented. The Presentation and Organization: Wow!!  Delightful!! Unique!! The presentation is simply superlative. With death  as the narrator, the tone of the story changes multiple shades – with  death being incisive at times, humorous at some places and sarcastic at  some other times. Very peculiar to this book, the author presents the  by-product thoughts (if that is the term I can use for all the secondary  thoughts which flow in mind while focus is on primary thoughts) in the  form of intervention notes, right in the middle of the page and these  notes actually add lot of value to the story.  The book is organized  into 10 chapters with several  small sub chapters under each.  Such kind  of organization tempts reader in to reading those extra few chapters  which usually would be postponed to the next seating. The Flow of plot: On this front too, Zusak is  brilliant. No amount of organized approach would help if the plot does  not evolve smoothly.  At know point in time, author has lost the grip on  the plot.  The flashbacks and the flash-forwards (Oh, this is another  unique attribute, the author has flash-forwarded the story on few  occasions and reveled the secrets when least expected, and then he  merrily returns the story to its present) never looks out of story and  are well timed. C. Do you think the actors portrayed the characters well? Why or Why not? It's about Liesel (Sophie Nelisse), the orphaned 12-year-old daughter of German communist activists, taken in by a middle-aged couple in 1938. She and the smitten boy next door Rudy (Nico Liersch) join the Hitler Youth and goose-step around town burning books and fetishising der Führer as little twinges of conscience and doubt slowly begin to manifest themselves. Then her adoptive parents Hans and Rosa. Frankly, not a lot of suspense ensues. The movie tiptoes far too politely around the stark historical facts of the era in which it unfolds, and its Nazis are little more than generic school bullies and officious creeps in uniforms. Meanwhile, weirdly enough, the film's narrator is Death himself, appearing in voiceover by Tom Wilkinson to carry off Leisel's brother in the first minute and reappearing to tot up a hefty final body count. Then there's the problem of English-speaking actors doing German accents, the bane of movies about the world wars since time immemorial. Rush and Watson, excellent actors both, give it their best Ganz and Schygulla, but as usual it's like strapping the actors into the auditory equivalent of a fat-suit, with a 70% loss of conviction guaranteed from the outset.