#yes the chapter titles are all taylor swift propaganda go listen to her

[librosamarillos]

passed down like folk songs

chapter 3: you're alive, so alive

Maegor Targaryen x OC

Also on Ao3

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Tags: hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, angst, mature themes, targaryen incest, violence, Maegor is a red flag himself, characters are ooc probably, MINORS DNI

Awkward teen crushes ammirite? Shoutout to pampers.com for providing me with so many names for Rowan's family!

The manor of house Evergreen was located up in the forest covered mountains in Starfall. Rowan recalled her fond memories, playing with her cousins amongst the trees, always cautious to not disturb the animals that inhabited the forest, of course. There were rumours that the forest was haunted, that one could go crazy if they walked alone at night, but she never believed them, even as a child. At night, it was pitch black, the only light coming from the moon and stars, so of course it was scary to navigate a forest, with wild animals living in it, no wonder people ‘heard voices’. Rowan knew, it was most unwise to walk alone at night within those trees, as mesmerising as they looked in daylight.

Lucas Evergreen, her beloved uncle, was a calm and kind man. He was married to Lady Maura and they had five children together, her cousins Finn, Erin, Max, Lewis and little Archie They had lived in the same manor as long as Rowan could recall. Her father’s job required him to travel from Starfall, to Oldtown, to King’s Landing, to Dragonstone, even up north, so it made sense for him to want his wife and daughter to not be alone. 

The thought of her mother made her sad. She was only seven when she died, but it was not a quick death. Her illness took her away slowly, day by day, for six moons. No matter how many maesters came, their skills could only prolong the inevitable. No one had to tell her, or explain, Rowan could see that her mother was dying right in front of her eyes. Her father was in such grief, before her mother was even taken by the stranger. But her mother seemed at peace. She did not appear scared, or worried, just serene. She’d just smile at her when she’d climb into bed with her, refusing to sleep in her own chambers, for fear the stranger would take her away during the night. 

And yet, in the sept when she prayed, that’s exactly what she’d ask the stranger to do. She knew her mother was in such pain and could barely eat, was it not cruel to keep her suffering when nothing could be done? So she’d pray to the stranger to take her mother away gently, while she was asleep, the way her mother would carry her back to her room when she’d fall asleep in the drawing room, with the faint sound of laughter in her ears. That dying would be easy, painless, that the stranger would take her into his arms like a warm embrace and lead her to the heavens in peace. But she could not help herself but pray for a miracle, for her health to take a turn for the better, and all could be as it was. She knew it was silly, impossible even. Some things cannot be helped, can they?

She looked up to her mother so much. Lady Edith was the smartest person she’d met, her father agreed. They had met at the citadel, her parents, at a young age, and according to her father, had fallen in love at first sight. Although, her mother did clarify, the love they had was one they built slowly over the years, not an instantaneous thing, even if that made a better story. She had plans to become a septa, but her father, Duncan Evergreen, had swept her off her feet, and those plans were ruined. She would always tell Rowan that her education was the most important tool they could give her as parents, that her intelligence would be her greatest weapon, but to never let that make her forget to be kind. It was their duty to use what we’ve been blessed with to build something that helps those in need, her father would say often. She hoped she’d one day be able to do just that.

Rowan recalled their weekly visits to the sept, how she treasured them with all her heart. Her favourite visits were when her father would be home as well, and they’d all go, along with her uncle, her aunt and cousins. She could recall the layout of the Starfall sept better than her own home. She remembered how she and Erin would leave the boys behind and run around, hiding behind the statues. She missed them all dearly.

The day she woke up and found her mother was taken by the stranger in the night, just as she had prayed he’d do, was the day when it all became blurry. She remembered screaming at her father to wake up, that mother was gone, how she wept and wept, clinging onto her, how wrong it felt for someone so warm could feel so cold to the touch. She remembered her father weeping with her, holding onto them both. At some point, her aunt and uncle came in, taking her in their arms, to console her, to take her away from her mother’s body. The week was a blur. She could barely recall anything from the funeral, she didn’t fully comprehend who was coming up to her to hug her and offer condolences, nothing felt real. 

Everyone in the manor felt the sorrow. Lucas and Maura had grown so close to Edith, her absence was like a hole in all of them. All the adults seemed to worry about Rowan, she remembered their looks full of concern, and she didn’t blame them. She could barely get out of bed, her appetite was all but gone, she didn’t recall when she had last smiled, all good reasons to worry. Slowly, she pulled herself together, her cousins cheering her up, getting her through her grief. Her mother had two brothers that came to visit them, Liam and Sean, both septons in Oldtown. She remembered them when her parents took her to Oldtown once, and they were comforting presences that helped her greatly. 

Before she knew it, a year had passed, and her father was called to Dragonstone to continue his duties. What surprised Rowan, was when he sat her down to tell her that the Queen wished for her to join as well. He thought some travelling and a change of scenery would do her some good. She didn’t see why not, although the idea of dragons terrified her to no end. Up until then, she had found the company of the maesters and the books to be her favourite, with all she was learning only igniting her to look for more. She grew to love Dragonstone. Not only did she enjoy the company of the Queen, she was pretty sure she had found her best friend in Maegor. And even though she would see him again, six moons seemed awfully long. She didn’t want to leave. But they found a way around that, writing letters as much as they could. Despite being surrounded by her family, she felt loneliness hit her when she’d read his letters.

“You’re not listening to me again, hey!” Erin’s voice rang.

“Sorry, sorry, my mind was away.” she admitted.

“Thinking about the fancy capital again?” her cousin teased.

“No, not at all, Dragonstone actually.”

“I still cannot get over that the Queen herself offered for you to fly on her dragon and you refused! If I were you I’d beg her to even let me touch it!” Erin huffed.

“I told you, dragons frighten me. Vhagar is huge!”

“Gods! You’re such a baby!”

“I already have Maegor teasing me about this, I don’t need a reminder from you!” she laughed.

The next time they had seen each other, Rowan could not believe just how much taller he grew. Almost three and ten, yet he was just as tall as his own father. And by the feeling of him hugging her as a greeting, he seemed just as strong. He laughed at her surprised face, teasing her for staying almost as short as she was before. She smiled, looking at his face, he still had a boyish look about him. She liked it.

After what had happened between him and his father, Maegor had thrown himself into training like his life depended on it. He wanted to prove himself, not just worthy, but better than his father, stronger, bigger. Rowan could tell he was doing this to distract himself from the pain his father caused, or perhaps as a way to let it out. She could see he was becoming ruthless, angrier, she could not blame him, but it did worry her. She’d be the only one pestering him to remember about his studies, that he cannot rely solely on his fighting skills.

“So, you think I’m skilled with the sword?” he asked, teasingly.

“I think you’re very gifted, yes. Now please focus, did you even read this?” she asked in annoyance, raising an eyebrow at her friend.

“But it sounds so much better when you read it to me. And you explain things so well.” he smiled, before getting hit with parchment.

“Please be serious!” she laughed. 

“I’m being absolutely serious! And you respond with such treason? That’s not very kind of you, Lady Evergreen.” he laughed. 

“Let’s just finish this chapter- Maegor, come on.” she sighed at her friend, who had just laid his head on top of his arms, his eyes on her.

“I’m listening, go on.” he smiled, but Rowan didn’t return it.

“Do you ever realise how lucky you are?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Did you know a lot of lords do not know how to read? They rely on their maesters for everything. Do you think that’s wise?” she frowned.

“No, it sounds stupid, to not know your own house’s affairs.” he huffed.

“Exactly. Now, is it wise for a Prince to not study his land’s history? To not understand the culture of the people he’s meant to be in charge of?” she asked.

Maegor only frowned, unwilling to admit defeat.

“You cannot rely only on the sword Maegor, you cannot separate strength and intelligence. Then you’ll have the fighting done by idiots and the thinking done by cowards.” she said.

“Does that make you a coward then?” he asked, brow raised.

“Yes, were you not the one calling me one before?” she gave a small smile.

“I didn't mean it like that, you know that right?” for a second he seemed worried.

“I’m not upset, it’s true. I’m afraid of a lot of things that I’m sure you wouldn’t even flinch at the idea of. But I’ll try to get over my fears, just as you’ll focus on your studies, right?” she urged, gently patting his shoulder.

“Fine, fine, you’re right.” he admitted, his face lighting up, a devious smirk on his lips. “So you’ll approach Vhagar then.” he stated.

“I see that wasn’t a question.” she pouted. “Fine, but don’t just throw me in there, I need time. Dragons are scary.” she frowned at Maegor’s chuckle. “Hey, if they weren’t scary, I don’t think they’d help your family conquer Westeros.” 

“Alright, I’m only teasing you. But tomorrow I’ll ask mother to take us close to her, alright?”

“Well then, since that’s settled, can we go back to the last chapter please?”

Maegor could not contain his laughter at Rowan’s expression. She looked so tiny and scared in front of Vhagar, despite his mother urging her to go closer. Vhagar eyed her curiously, slowly moving her head toward her direction, making Rowan grab him by the arm, holding onto him for dear life. He wanted to laugh again, but he enjoyed the feeling more than he’d like to admit. Maybe he didn’t mind her being scared of dragons if it meant she’d hold his hand. Still, he led her closer to where his mother stood, whispering that it would all be okay.

“I couldn’t even walk when mother took me to fly with Vhagar, she won’t hurt you.” he tried to soothe her.

“Come, give me your hand.” his mother’s voice seemed to convince Rowan more.

The feeling was foreign to her, he could see her trying to steady her breaths, not wanting to make sudden movements. He smiled. He knew which dragon he would claim one day, perhaps she’d join him in the skies and cling onto him there too. His mother shot him an amused smile, and only then did he realise he was blushing. 

He didn’t tease Rowan, preferring to ask her how she felt, more importantly, if she’d one day like to fly. She seemed hesitant, but perhaps out of kindness, she gave him a maybe. He’d take it, and one day hold her to her words. His mother seemed beyond amused at him. Maegor wanted to hide his face, but doing so would give his mother the satisfaction that she was right. Not that she needed it, she knew. She’d often tease him about how eager he was to read any letter she would send, she knew her son. She never said anything about it, not directly, which meant she didn’t mind, right?

Visenya came to dread returning to King’s Landing. After the loss of their sister, things between her and Aegon were even more distant than ever. But her Maegor had his nameday soon, and she’d be damned if the people didn’t celebrate him like they had Aenys. She organised a tourney in his name, something he grew to love. She was so proud of him. Visenya knew he’d be participating the second she told him, so she had prepared special gifts for him. She could see how he also dreaded coming back here, the calmness Rowan seemed to bring him washing off as soon as he saw his father and half-brother. Aenys, to everyone’s surprise, greeted Maegor with an embrace, telling him he was happy to see him again. Her son only nodded, clearly wishing to get everything over with. 

He surely wished to rant about it to Rowan. Visenya let it happen, they were still children, people wouldn’t whisper about them just yet. She thought it was sweet, her son’s crush, she rarely got to see him blush like a little boy, since he was now taller than a lot of men she knew, she found it adorable. Besides being his friend, Rowan seemed to bring him joy, as she often passed them and heard them laugh so freely, so genuinely, in the way only children could. She grew to love the girl like her own, so she was glad her son’s first crush was with someone she knew she could trust with his heart.

A knock on her door startled her. Who in the world could it be at this late hour? Rowan wrapped herself in her robe and carefully opened the door, a relieved smile gracing her face when Maegor slipped inside quickly. 

“You know you can’t be here, what happened?”

“Nothing happened, I just wanted to see you, that’s all.” he grinned.

“Can’t sleep because of the tourney?” she asked.

“Yes, but because I did have something to ask you.” he confessed.

“Oh? What is it?” she wondered.

“Will you make a favour?”

“A favour? I wasn’t planning on it, why?”

“What if I asked you for it?”

“You’d ask for my favour? For the tourney?”

“I would. If you’d be so kind as to make one.” he stated, with a slight blush.

“It’s not like you’d even need it, but if you wish, I’ll make you one in the morning, the prettiest one.” she smiled, a blush forming on her cheeks as well.

“Thank you.” he smiled. “But don’t give it to anyone else!” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, my Prince!” she laughed.

Maegor smiled once more, seeming to enjoy how much taller he was from her. She caught his eyes scanning the room before stopping on her desk, on the little box that was carefully wrapped, a devious grin on his lips.

“Is that for me?” he teased eagerly.

“Okay, goodnight Maegor, I’ll see you tomorrow!” she laughed, pushing him out of her chambers.

He laughed as well, letting her push him out, while they both knew he could stop her at any moment. But he let her. And she was left alone in her chambers with her face red and her heart racing. She’d have to run to the florist first thing. Would her father be upset if she gave Maegor her favour? She knew her father was getting a bit uncomfortable with them being close, now that they were getting older, and King’s Landing wasn’t the secluded and quiet Dragonstone, but surely it would be fine. As far as anyone was concerned, she’s one of many ladies he’d potentially ask the favour of, no? A huge smile spread on her face when she thought that she was the one he wanted the favour of.

“I have something for you.” his mother announced, first thing in the morning.

With that, three servants rushed inside, holding brand new armour, smooth, black, the Targaryen sigil on the chest, the helmet resembling a dragon. Maegor was stunned, looking from the armour to his mother, who smiled gently at him. Words failed him, but he gave her a hug, something he found they didn’t do much. She rubbed his shoulder and pulled back to look at him proudly.

“You’re almost a man grown, it is only fitting that you have proper armour. Happy nameday Maegor.” she said, placing a small kiss on his forehead. “Now get dressed, there’s something else I want to give you before the tourney.” with that she left, leaving the servants to dress him up.

He looked in the mirror and couldn’t help a smile. He felt like a proper man in armour, like the warrior he was born to be. He’d definitely be showing it off to Rowan after he wins the tourney later. He’d also show everyone watching who the worthy heir truly was.

His mother was waiting for him in her drawing room, a look of pride on her face.

“Look at you.” she said, cupping his face, giving his forehead another kiss. “How do you feel?” she asked.

“Ready.” he said, earning a small laugh.

“I wouldn’t expect anything but.” she turned to grab something, making Maegor’s eyes grow wide with surprise.

“Mother? Is that-”

“It is.” she said, holding Dark Sister in her hands. “This sword was with me during the entirety of the conquest, it’s the sword that brought me to victory and glory, and now, it belongs to you, my son.” she said, placing the sword in his hands. 

“Mother, I do not know what to say, I- Thank you! I will make you proud.” he said.

“You’ve always made me proud Maegor, I do not doubt it for a second you’ll achieve even more victories than I have with it. It’s in your blood, after all.” she smiled.

He took one final look at himself in the mirror in his mother’s rooms, he truly looked like a warrior now. His mother laughed.

“She’ll think you’re very handsome, now come on. You cannot be late to your own tourney!”

The tourney was huge, so many people were here. Rowan and her father were seated next to the Queen, who smiled at her knowingly. She froze. Did Maegor tell her? Did she know? Visenya looked at her and at the favour on the cushion next to her, giving her a small nod. Rowan felt her face heat up. Her father gave her a questioning look, before meeting the Queen’s gaze. He smiled as well, wrapping an arm around his daughter, who wanted to completely disappear.

“We’re not laughing at you, my sweet, it’s just endearing.” he laughed, kissing her temple.

“I- it’s not like that, it’s just…” she trailed. 

Was it like that?

She didn’t have much time to dwell in her thoughts, as the King stood up to make an announcement, making the crowd go silent. He and Aenys were regally dressed, covered in gold and rubies, and Visenya seemed to follow that as well.

“We are here today to celebrate the third and tenth nameday of my son, the Prince Maegor of House Targaryen.” his voice boomed, pausing for the loud cheer to die down. “I am also proud to announce that he will be participating in his first tourney.” another loud cheer from the crowds. “Let us begin!” he announced, happy at the response.

Rowan watched nervously, averting her eyes from the fighting. She was truly not one to enjoy such events, but she didn’t want to miss it either. Her father held her hand, knowing how she was, reassuring her that it was alright to look away, which she did occasionally. Until Maegor’s name was announced. Her eyes shot up, looking at him approaching on his horse, looking like a masterfully sculpted statue. 

As he came closer, both she and Aenys got up, to offer their encouragement. Maegor seemed annoyed that his brother was there, but kept his eyes on her.

“Looking sharp brother! You’ve got this!” Aenys’ voice was pleasant, filled with joy.

Maegor gave him a small thank you, not used to this kind of affection from him.

“I was hoping to ask for your favour, Lady Evergreen.” he gave her a smile she could barely see beneath his helmet.

Rowan blushed, turning around to get the wreath she had so carefully constructed in the morning, seeing the amused smile on Visenya’s face and the look of confusion on Aegon’s. Still she made it back, placing the favour on the lance Maegor raised close to her.

“Good luck, my Prince.” she said shyly, earning another smile from him.

She went to sit back down, only to realise that Prince Aenys had been looking at her with an amused smile from next to Aegon. She tried not to die from embarrassment, but again, she did not have time to dwell on it, nor did anyone else.

Maegor fought with such rigour, such fire, that he was putting seasoned warriors to shame in minutes, making the crowd cheer so loud it made Rowan’s ears hurt. He fought like a wild beast, like he was born with the sword in his hand. She couldn’t take his eyes off of him. Before the end of the day, he was the undisputed victor. A boy of three and ten. Once the King announced him the winner, there was a smile on his face, one of pride, one that Rowan never saw addressed to Maegor, not until now. 

The great feast that followed found Rowan socialising with other young girls her age. She recognised some familiar faces from the feasts she had attended around the Reach, including Lana Tyrell, who was a bit older than her, but proved to be pleasant company. Maegor was lost in a sea of newfound admirers, including his own brother, which seemed to both amuse and annoy him greatly. But Rowan could not save him from that, she wasn’t seated at the royal table, but she did cast him many amused smiles when their eyes met.

She let out a long sigh of relief when she finally reached her chambers, wanting nothing more than to jump in her bed. She was debating if she was too tired to request a bath, for fear she’d fall asleep in the tub, when a knock startled her.

“Come in.” she smiled, knowing immediately who it was.

Maegor made sure to close the door quietly, a small smile on his face. 

“I thought you’d still be out celebrating.” she said.

“Aenys was beginning to get insufferable.” he answered.

“Oh come on, he’s trying to be close to you! He looked so proud today.” she protested.

“And you?” he asked. “Were you proud?”

“Very. You fought greatly Maegor, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you!” she smiled, before realising what she said, much to Maegor’s amusement. “I meant, because you were so good and- you know what I mean.” 

“I see, I see.” he laughed. “You know, I still didn’t receive my gift. I’ve been waiting since yesterday, you know I’m not patient.” he grinned.

“Oh, I just didn’t get the chance to find you, I would give it to you tomorrow, but since you’re here,” she turned to give him the gift. “It’s not… I’m sure you could have something much fancier, but it made me think of you.” she blurted.

Maegor looked down at her with a soft smile, before unwrapping and opening the box, pausing to marvel at the ring inside. It was simple, gold, with an intricate design etched in and a small ruby in the center. He always scoffed at the intricate and bulky rings the men around court wore, insisting they would get in the way of his training, but this… this would work just fine. He met her nervous gaze again, his smile wider.

“I know you hate the big rings, so I thought you’d prefer this- But, but if you don’t it’s alright-”

“I love it.”

“In truth?”

“I shall wear it everyday.” he said, a little too softly.

He tried to put it on his ring finger, before noticing it was a little loose. Rowan let out a small chuckle, before reaching to take it off.

“It’s meant for your index finger, here.” she explained.

She gently held onto his hand, placing the ring on the correct finger, but not letting go right away. She felt the cuts and calluses on his hands, marvelling at how much bigger they were compared to hers. For a few silent moments, Maegor seemed to do the same, marvelling at her soft and gentle hands, wondering how they could be so delicate. Rowan was the first to step back, much to both of their dismay.

“I’m really happy you liked it.”

“I’m very grateful to you for giving it to me. I must also thank you, for your favour has helped me win today.” he grinned.

“Come on, as if you weren’t training since you could walk. You barely needed it.” she blushed.

“But I did.” he said plainly, walking closer to her.

“It was an honour, you know.”

“Hardly.” he laughed. “I should probably head back.” he said regrettably, to which Rowan nodded.

He was almost at the door when he felt her hand on his shoulder. He turned to see her contemplating face, to which he raised a brow. Praying to the gods for courage, Rowan stood on her tip toes and placed a small kiss on his cheek, leaving them both stunned and blushing. Neither dared to move, nor say a thing.

“I… I wish you a happy nameday, Maegor.” she managed to stutter out.

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