"of two minds", an experimental... short story... comic... thing.
(transcript under the cut!)
y’know, it’s funny.
what is?
the very idea of contradiction itself necessitates cohesion, or coexistence, or… whatever antonym you want to use.
what do you mean?
well—if two contradicting ideas couldn’t coexist in some way, we wouldn’t have a concept of contradiction in the first place. the very idea of it is, in itself, a contradiction!
…that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.
we’re not talking about things that make sense, are we? contradictions aren’t supposed to do that. that’s, like, the whole point.
well, yeah, but what you’re saying should still have meaning. you can’t just—say nonsense that sounds smart but isn’t.
i agree! good thing that’s not what i’m doing. it’s not nonsense.
you yourself said it doesn’t make sense.
but that’s not the same thing, now, is it? nonsense can make sense, so why not the other way around?
i never said i believed that second thing, either.
you do, though. i know that full well.
…i do. but even so—that doesn’t matter. it feels like you came up with a point and are now desperately trying to grant it merit despite its obvious flaws.
what do you mean?
well—first and foremost, contradiction doesn’t claim that the sides can’t coexist. quite the opposite, actually. its very nature is coexistence where there shouldn’t be any.
blah, semantics. but really—if they can coexist, even a little bit, then clearly, they’re not as diametrically opposed as they seem. where is the line drawn?
that’s… not the same thing you were arguing a moment ago.
so what?
you can’t just—change the subject. that’s not how this works.
i still stand by what i said, i was just using the wrong word, or something like that. you pointed it out, so i started talking about your word. same difference.
you’re impossible.
why, thank you.
regardless—i don’t see what that has to do with any of this.
what doesn’t it have to do with this? contradiction is in our very nature. we invented a word to put a name to that divide, that fundamental fission. and yet—it’s only natural, isn’t it?
i’m not sure what you’re saying here.
but if you didn’t understand, neither would i.
that doesn’t mean i know what it means in any—
—and that, too, is contradiction!
no, it isn’t. i understand the words you’re saying. i know what the words mean.
what i don’t understand is—your point. what you’re trying to say.
and what a shame that is. we’ll never come to a conclusion at this rate.
yes we will. we always do.
…what are you arguing, anyways?
hm?
it seems like you’re just here to disagree with me. you’re refuting my points, but you never make any of your own. do you even have an opinion?
of course i do.
do you? or is it just the opposite of what i’m saying, regardless of what that is?
…does it matter? we both believe what we’re saying.
and back to contradiction.
hm?
we’re one and the same, and we both believe what we’re saying. and yet we disagree.
this wouldn’t be interesting at all if we agreed.
that’s beside the point.
it is.
what… is this, anyways? what’s the point?
a socratic dialogue for the new era.
…it can’t be. you’ve never read socrates. besides—you said it yourself. we both believe what we are saying.
we’re both right.
you get it, you get it! i knew you would! we are the contradiction!
…you’re not being helpful. you refuse to explain your ideas, you just… say words.
i don’t need to explain. you understand already.
then what’s the fucking point!?
to settle this. to make up our mind.
but we are of two minds.
precisely! contradiction is coexistence is contradiction!
this is going to go on forever, isn’t it?
we’ve always moved on before.
but we come back, again and again! arguing a new point in the same way, and no one ever wins!
would you rather go through life never questioning anything?
of course not! i just—argh. you’re intolerable.
whatever do you mean?
you’re unbearable! i can’t stand this! nothing you say holds water, but you don’t fucking listen!
you know—you know i’m right. we’re the same person, after all. but you refuse to listen when i tell you—
tell me, then. i’ll listen.
what do you believe?
…i believe that you’re wrong. that we ought to do things my way.
but what is your way?
…
i knew it! you exist to be the opposition. you know i’m wrong, but you don’t know what’s right.
…
…what’s yours?
hm?
what’s your way? saying things that sound smart without—without caring if they’ve got any substance?
…
see? you don’t have anything to say, either. we’re both wrong. we’re both right. i hate this.
i just want to agree! i want things to make sense! i want to say things that mean something—i want to understand. understand the world, understand myself, understand what we’re fucking saying.
i’m sick of this.
you could do to care a bit less.
see, that’s the problem with you! you don’t—you don’t fucking care! you speak nonsense and then act like everyone else is at fault for not understanding it! because you don’t care! you don’t care and i fucking hate you!
you say, as if you have anything of meaning to say!
i have more than you! at least when i talk, it means something!
no it doesn’t! you’ll never come up with anything but derivative, trite bullshit if you’re so obsessed with making sense!
oh, so now i’m spouting bullshit, and not the bastard who has never in their life even tried to make sense!?
you’re so set on making sure other people can understand what you’re saying—every little bit of you is lost in translation! you have to follow in the footsteps of others for anyone to get what you’re talking about—none of what you say is yours!
that’s not—god. i hate this. i shouldn’t—you shouldn’t be here. we should just make up our fucking mind.
but you said it yourself—we are of two minds.
if we thought you were right, we would have moved on by now.
but we would have done the same if we thought i was wrong.
why are we still here? separate? stuck at the crossroads? rent apart by indecision?
what is wrong with us?
…it’s just the human condition, i think.
“human.”
…
semantics again, my dear sock-puppet.
…i’m not even going to respond to that. are you trying to insinuate that you’re the ‘real’ one here? that i’m the construct? that goes against everything you’ve said thus far.
first of all, have you even been listening to what i’ve said thus far?
…second of all, that’s not what i meant at all.
we’re just talking to the mirror, really—but we’re more than a reflection of the other, aren’t we? and neither of us is quite our whole. we’re uncertainty made manifest. a tangled mess of contradiction trying futilely to untie itself.
so: sock puppets.
interesting analogy.
…so who’s the left hand, and who’s the right hand?
oh, so now you’re capable of having a little bit of whimsy.
…i think you’re probably the left hand, because right brain-left brain or whatever. since you’re the one who keeps going off about logic.
…i want to be the right hand.
why?
we’re right-handed, and i’m the one we usually act on—
—that’s not even true. whatever. more realistically, we’re both both hands, anyways.
yeah, you would say that, wouldn’t you.
am i really that predictable?
yes.
for ‘uncertainty made manifest’, it sure is easy to figure you out.
even cacophony has a pattern to it! a method to our madness—because every method is madness.
that doesn’t make sense either.
doesn’t it?
no.
oh, you’re no fun.
nothing about this is supposed to be ‘fun’.
nothing is ‘supposed’ to be anything!
the only reason it isn’t fun is your nonstop bitching.
if i wasn’t here to be the voice of reason, you’d fucking… i dunno. do something stupid.
start giving people bullshit advice and spreading misinformation on the internet, or run off and get hit by a car, or… something.
my point is, i’m the one keeping us alive and reasonable.
yeah, and? what’s the point in that if we’re miserable all the time, because we’re too scared of saying anything meaningful to even try?
but it’s not meaningful! all you say is fucking nonsense!
and all you say is fucking trite!
how do you expect to create any original meaning if nothing you say has meaning to begin with!?
how do you expect to create anything you can care about if you refuse to say anything unique to yourself!?
i’m only being pragmatic!
i’m only trying to be happy for once in our fucking life!
you’re a liar—you know what you’re saying means nothing and you say it anyways!
it doesn’t have to make sense to be meaningful!
what’s the point in meaning if no one else can understand it!?
what’s the point in trying if everything you say has been watered down for others’ sake!?
i’d rather be unhappy and right!
and there’s your problem! you keep thinking about this in right and wrong—it’s not! all of this is subjective! all answers are equally correct!
but that’s not true! nothing is entirely subjective—there’s always an answer we settle on, there’s always a right one! there’s always a wrong one!
we always choose one answer because of you! because you’re too fucking scared to admit that maybe there isn’t a wrong one! maybe there doesn’t have to be! maybe—
—shut up, hyde!
…oh, so i’m hyde now? i’m the bad one? i’m in the wrong? and of course you would—
—stop. stop. i hate you. god, i hate you.
…
…i think right now i hate you too.
…
but this won’t end until we agree.
it won’t.
and that will never happen.
maybe not.
because we both know we’re right.
so we do.
so we’ll be here forever. arguing about nothing.
maybe we don’t have to.
argue, i mean.
…what do you mean by that?
maybe we can coexist. maybe we can hold both beliefs. tempering and strengthening the other.
but we are powers opposed.
maybe we don’t have to be.
it’s like schrodinger said.
the cat is both alive and dead until you open the box.
the path curves both left and right until you reach the crossroads.
every answer is both true and false until a conclusion is reached.
…
but even then, that implies a conclusion. a collapse into a solid state.
we are already at the crossroads of our belief.
precisely.
and we haven’t fallen into one yet.
but we must.
must we?
can’t the two states combine to one without losing what makes them themselves?
the cat must be dead or alive, for it is a material being. but we are thought. we are consciousness. we are not bound to one or the other.
such is the magic of our nature.
indeed.
so really, there is only one question:
can we coexist, or must we fight forever?
can we have chaos guided by logic?
can we have meaning carved by contradiction?
can we walk both paths, and the sacred middle ground?
can we shape ourselves through synthesis?
can we be one?
were we ever two? does it matter?
we are arguing the same point, after all.
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