#yes this is alicia not sue

[loisinherlane]

(Fantastic Four (1961) #8)

Alicia Masters: the original monsterfucker

[lexosaurus]

Everything Was White: Part 22

[see all chapters]

read on: [ao3] [ffn] (please read tags)

Summary: After being accidentally revealed to the public and taken away by the government, Danny deals with the aftermath of his time with the GIW.

****

The holidays were strange, in a word.

Danny had never been a fan of Christmas, with his parents always too caught up in their work to get into the holiday spirit. And, sure, maybe some of that resentment over his parents doing the bare minimum or—on a few occasions—outright forgetting to celebrate Christmas had built up over the years. 

Sue him.

But it was weird this year. As Christmas approached, Jack came home one day with a few bags full of decorations. He then spent the rest of the afternoon putting lights outside.

The Fenton house had never had holiday lights before. But Danny’s fear of his father finding a way to set the house on fire overrode his excitement about the lights.

Before he knew it, nutcrackers and green wreaths decorated the house. The next day, Jack came home with a tree, and the whole family was ordered to decorate it with him.��

While they did have a tree most years, the last time they hung up ornaments as a family was…

Well, Danny didn’t remember when that was.

“Jazz, stop putting all the ornaments on the bottom branches,” Danny whined, batting her hand away as she attempted to put yet another ornament within the limited scope of Danny’s current reach. “That’s my territory.”

“Then hurry up, slowpoke!” she teased, nonetheless moving to a higher branch.

“So rude. Can’t believe you’re bullying me.”

“I moved it!”

“Mads?” Jack said, handing an ornament over to her.

Maddie had been quiet all evening. She wasn’t in her work jumpsuit either, and Danny wondered if she had spent the day at yet another meeting with their lawyer.

Curiosity was a sinister beast, and part of him wanted to ask his mom what else the lawyer could have possibly said. But considering the last conversation surrounding his zero protections against the Guys in White stalking him everywhere he went, maybe this wasn’t the time.

Jazz fiddled with the Christmas music, skipping over a particularly terrible cover of Feliz Navidad, before she plucked another ornament out of its box.

How depressing was it that Danny was sixteen years old and half of the ornaments they were hanging up were brand new?

“You’re all gonna love your gifts this year!” Jazz said brightly. “No spoilers, but I tried really hard!”

Maddie gave a weak smile. “I’m sure whatever you give will be great, honey.”

“Mine are gonna be bad. Sorry, online shopping only,” Danny said. “Also, I’m broke.”

That, and he’d forgotten that Christmas was—well—a thing.

Express shipping was truly a gift to humanity.

“It’s the thought that counts, Danno!” Jack said, putting that happy-dad mask back on his face. “That’s what I’ve always said!”

He had not always said that. His parents were typically too busy catching ghosts during the coldest months of the year to bother with the holiday season.

Which was fine. It was all just fine. Every family had different traditions, and Sam’s family didn’t even celebrate Christmas at all. But pretending this was suddenly a foundational holiday to the Fenton Family Tradition was ridiculous.

“No rest for the weary, son!” Jack said, placing another ornament in Danny’s lap.

“Sure, Dad.” Danny pushed himself back over to the lopsided tree. 

Jack turned to Maddie. “Your crazy sister is coming up, right?” 

“She’s not crazy, but yes.”

Jazz paused, her ornament dangling in the air. “Aunt Alicia’s coming?” 

“Yes.” Maddie’s gaze flickered to Danny for the briefest moment before settling back on Jazz. “We felt bad we were too busy to get together for Thanksgiving, so we extended the offer for Christmas.”

Danny could translate that well enough: We were too afraid of our mentally unstable son to travel for Thanksgiving.

Dancing around the truth felt almost worse than his parents just openly admitting what a disappointment he was.

No, that was exactly the sort of negative thinking that would rouse suspicion. Not that he had anything to hide, of course. He was a model outpatient kid now.

They continued hanging up the holiday ornaments to the chorus of terrible Christmas tunes that had Jack and Jazz singing along and Danny trying to keep his ears from bleeding. Perfect pitch—or any kind of pitch, for that matter—clearly didn’t come in the Fenton genetic coding.

When they finished, Jack attached a green star on top and plugged the lights into the wall, turning their ornament-bloated tree into an LSD-induced fever dream.

But Danny still couldn’t get it out of his head that Alicia was coming here. Why wouldn’t they go down to Spittoon like they always did?

Maybe they were worried about his wheelchair? Which would have been even more of a reason to give Danny his powers back. Or, maybe because Alicia’s community was anti-ghost?

…yeah. Danny thought back to that old community of closed-off people. Them being anti-halfa was probably the most likely scenario.

His suspicions were more or less confirmed that evening as he floated invisibly in the hall, too lazy to use his wheelchair to go to the bathroom. Jazz, the only perceptive one in the house, was already asleep, so there was no fear of getting caught. The light was still on in his parents’ room, however. Their sleep schedules were almost as bad as Danny’s.

Danny pressed a hand to the bathroom door, about to slip through the wood, when he heard the unmistakable mutter of, “...Danny…” from their room.

His parents were talking about him. Again. If he were smart, he would have ignored it. He already knew what they truly thought about him. There was no need to ruin his night.

But, in fact, he was not smart. So he drifted closer till he was pressing an ear to the door and fighting the impulse to stick his head inside.

“...a good idea?” Jack was asking.

“She’s my sister, hon,” Maddie responded. “Besides, you know what the therapist said about isolating Danny.”

There was a sharp huff from Jack. “I know, Mads. I know she’s been concerned about those patterns reemerging, but it’s one thing to encourage Danny to connect with his classmates and another to invite Alicia into our house.”

“Whatever issues you two have—”

“This isn’t about me!” Jack hissed, clearly struggling to keep his voice down. “I’ve put up with all sorts of talk from her over the years. You’ve seen it! It’s not about me, it’s about our son.”

“She said she was willing to try.”

“Trying isn’t good enough, Mads. I know you two don’t see each other often, and I don’t want to keep you from her, but she can’t step one foot in this home if she’s going to even think about disrespecting Danny.”

There was a brief silence as Jack’s words hung in the air. Then, Danny heard the duvet on the bed shift, a heavy sigh accompanying it. 

“I know.” Maddie’s voice was so quiet, Danny almost didn’t pick it up. “I’ll call her tomorrow, okay?”

“Thank you.”

“I love you, Jack.”

“I love you too.”

The light switched off, and their conversation was finished.

Danny stayed floating in the hallway for some time. So…Alicia hated him now. She thought he was a freak. She thought he was better off back with the Guys in White. And now she was coming here, staying overnight at their house. Perfect. Wonderful. Awesome.

Danny hoped he had enough painkillers to last through her stay.

****

Jazz was going to school early. She needed to do the winter orientation and get acclimated to the city. She was also doing some volunteer tutoring for the kids in the area and wanted to complete the training before the semester started.

Danny had known this. He was fine with it, Jazz, quit asking for his opinion about it.

It was like she thought he was a dandelion about to drift off with the slightest breeze. But he wasn’t.

He wasn’t. 

He wasn’t some child who couldn’t exist without his "big sis"  holding his hand. He was sixteen and had people like his therapists and his best friends to rely on. Of course, he hadn’t talked to his friends about Jazz leaving yet. And although his therapist had brought up the topic a few times now, they hadn’t really talked about it too deeply.

But that was only because there really wasn’t anything to say. Jazz was leaving, and that was that.

“You’re sure?” Jazz asked. “There’s really nothing?”

Nothing? Huh?

Right, there was nothing he wanted from her. Nothing he wanted to do with her. No bucket-list items. He’d already demanded too much from her. She even deferred an entire semester of her dream college because of him. 

So why was she asking if there was anything he wanted to do with her before the holidays were over? Why was she wasting her time?

“I’m sure. Not like I can really get around easily, anyway.” Danny slumped back on the couch.

“Danny, I’m sure we can find some wheelchair-friendly things—”

“That—that’s not what I meant.” Despite his best efforts, he felt his face flush. Or, maybe it was partially what he meant. Who knew anymore, with the way his TBI liked to scramble all his thoughts? “I meant that—with the paparazzi…”

“Okay, then we can dress incognito!” Jazz said. “Come on, not even a trip to the movies? It would be fun!”

“You hate horror movies,” Danny pointed out.

“Did you forget about, oh, I don’t know, every single other genre of film out there? Would it kill you to switch it up for an hour?”

“Yes. It absolutely would.”

Jazz rolled her eyes. “Come on, Danny. For me?”

And there were those big eyes and clasped hands that had defeated Danny so many times before. Really, how was he supposed to say no to his sister when she pulled her trump card like this? 

So unfair.

“Fine! Fine, you can dress me up in a stupid wig or whatever and we can go see one of your dumb movies before you leave. But if we get caught…”

“We won’t!” Jazz grabbed his arm, apparently too excited to contain herself.

She almost looked like the old Jazz, the Jazz that didn’t have to worry about her little brother staying out of the hospital.

Maybe focusing on other things would be good for her. Maybe it was time for her to get away. Maybe she needed this sense of normalcy again.

Maybe it was time to let her go.

Before Danny could ponder that thought any longer, the door swung open with enough force to nearly plow through the wall. 

“Aunt Alicia!” Jazz scrambled from the couch. “Welcome!”

“Jazz!” Alicia stepped through the interior, her suitcase in hand. A green coat had been thrown over her overalls and plaid T-shirt, and she shed it as soon as she stepped through the threshold.  

Jazz hugged her. “Good to see you! You haven’t changed a bit!”

It was true. No matter how old Alicia got, her red mullet and bulldog-like features stuck around.

“I can’t say the same about you!” Alicia pulled Jazz away, surveying her up and down with a grin. “Look at you, your hair’s so long now. And have you grown?”

“Not since I was like thirteen!” 

Maddie peeked over their shoulders. “I can take your suitcase to the guest room.”

“Nonsense!” Alicia barked. “It hasn’t been that long since I’ve been here. I remember where it is just fine!”

“Don’t worry, Alicia,” Jack said, getting up from the couch. “Go catch up with the kids! I’ll bring your stuff upstairs.”

As usual, Alicia hesitated at Jack’s offer, looking him over as if he were three feet tall and made of fool’s gold.

“Thank you, Jack!” Maddie snatched the suitcase and coat from her sister’s arms and passed them off to Jack, who quickly disappeared upstairs. She ushered Alicia into the living room. “Come, sit. It was a long flight. Would you like anything to drink? We have both red and white wine somewhere in the cabinets—oh, the white hasn’t been chilled.”

Danny sat rigid on the couch, the cushions suddenly feeling hard underneath him. His brain registered a strange pressure on his thighs, and he glanced down to see his hands gripping his legs. He let go, allowing his arms to fall awkwardly to his sides, and when he looked back up, he saw how Alicia was slowly lowering herself onto an armchair, leering at him like he was some sort of alien at Area 51.

That wasn’t even a far-off comparison to make. He was the alien. Only, instead of being located in the desert, Area 51 was his damn living room.

“What would you like, Alicia?” Maddie called from the kitchen.

Alicia blinked. “Huh? Oh, whatever light beer you have is fine.”

“I’ll see what we have.”

Jazz hopped back on the couch next to Danny, stretching out like she did after returning home from a run. “How was the flight?”

“Long. It’s cold up here,” Alicia said, frowning at the window.

“It’s been a mild winter so far,” Jazz said.

“Mild to you, maybe. I haven’t been outside of Arkansas in…well, since the last time I was here, actually. When was that, six years ago?” 

“Eight,” Danny said, his memory—usually so full of holes—surprising even himself. He stared at the ground, not wanting to see Alicia’s reaction to his alien voice. “I was eight. My dad tried to play Santa and—and fell on the tree.”

Silence lapsed in the room, and Danny risked glancing up to see Alicia’s inquisitive face once again turned on him, nodding slowly. “Right, I remember that.”

“Oh god, I’d forgotten!” Jazz laughed as if the air weren’t awkward enough to cut with a chainsaw. “Mom was so pissed!”

“Till I got the whiskey in her.” Alicia winked.

Winked. 

Danny, thankfully, didn’t drop his jaw.

It…was okay? He wasn’t a disgusting little cockroach then, infesting this human home with his gross ecto-blood?

It was naive to hope that someone accepted him for what he was. He knew that. He’d been let down too many times in the past. But still, he couldn’t help it, the desperation leaking into him, lifting him up, straightening his spine. He couldn’t stop that pang of longing from stabbing through him. 

And of course, it was stupid, because as soon as Danny’s wide eyes made contact with Alicia’s, a frown appeared back on her face.

Though, only momentarily, as it was broken by Maddie stepping into the living room a second later with a beer can in one hand and a glass of red wine in the other. “This alright?”

“Looks fine to me!” Alicia said.

“You’re all set!” Jack called, bounding down the stairs. “Oh, you ladies having drinks?”

“Of course we are!” Alicia said. “Jazz, you’re old enough, aren’t you?”

“I’m eighteen,” Jazz said.

“Plenty old enough! Maddie, get her a glass of something too.”

Maddie pursed her lips at Jazz.

“I’m going to college soon anyway, Mom,” Jazz pointed out.

Maddie sighed. “Fine, one glass.”

Jazz shot a smug smile at Danny, who was only a tiny bit jealous. Not that he could drink with all the medication he was on, anyway. But a glass of something to diffuse whatever tension he was causing through the horrible crime of existing sounded great.

Well, worst-case scenario, he always had the bottle of pills in his backpack. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t already taken something before this. 

For the pain, of course. 

“You excited for Harvard?” Alicia asked, snapping Danny from his rumination. 

“So excited!” Jazz responded.

“Smart girl! I always knew you’d get there. I remember Maddie calling me all worried when you were applying, saying stuff about how hard it was to get into, and I told her not to worry one bit! I said that girl’s something special, she is. Smartest of the bunch! I said she’d show up every other applicant in the pool!”

“That she did! My Jazzypants kicked some major butt out there! We’re very proud of her,” Jack said.

Alicia only looked a little bitter that Jack had spoken to her before turning her attention back to her favorite niece. “Have you thought at all about what you want to study?”

“Psychology,” Jazz replied easily. “I got a five in AP Psych in high school.”

“That’s the top score,” Maddie explained.

Alicia beamed. “See, Maddie? They’re lucky to have such a bright young woman in their program!”

They were. They really were.

With Jazz now only weeks away from leaving, these conversations had become more and more commonplace with people they met. And Danny was happy for Jazz, and he was a little glad that the spotlight wasn’t on him all the time, but with each new mention of Jazz leaving came a new realization that Jazz was leaving.

“They are definitely,” Maddie said. Glancing at Danny, she added, “We’re very proud of both of our kids. They’ve both worked so hard this year.”

Oh, no.

Now Alicia’s attention was fully back on him. Back on his oversized sweatshirt, his plain sweatpants, his mussed-up hair that he couldn’t remember if he’d combed that morning. He felt just like when Plasmius assessed him for the first time. Tiny, like an ant being crushed under the overwhelming force of a large boot.

Just from the way her eyes squinted as she surveyed him up and down, Danny could tell that she didn’t know if she wanted to give him a fake positive answer or spit in his face. And with every microsecond she continued her internal assessment, he felt the weight of her metaphorical boot crushing him further and further into the ground.

“Yup, Danno’s been getting those grades up!” Jack carried on, his commentary doing little to settle the atmosphere. “He’s got a real knack for science, too!”

Hardly.

And, judging by Alicia’s narrowing eyes, she was certainly thinking of a different kind of science anyway. The kind that involved strapping ghosts to lab tables and cutting them open. 

Still, he tried his best to go with it. “Well, when you live with my parents, it’s hard not to pick up a thing or two along the—um, way…”

Oh no. He had definitely made it worse.

Okay, time to flip the script back onto the favorite kid. “But Jazz is really better at all that stuff. She was in AP Bio last year and aced it too.”

“I didn’t ace it, Danny.”

“A ninety-two is still acing it in my book.”

Jazz’s face was red, though Danny could see the glowing pride that she was currently trying to bury. “Well, college is going to be harder than a high school class, you know!”

“And—and Danny? You’re in school too?” Alicia spoke up.

Suddenly, Danny felt small all over again. “Oh—uh, yeah. I am.”

Only for half of the day, and not in any general education classroom. But saying that out loud would have been too embarrassing. It would have just proved to Alicia that the media was right and he wasn’t able to function like a normal teenager doing normal teenage things, like going to class.

“Danny’s been working very hard to catch up,” Maddie said, offering her most loving and supportive smile, which Danny was sure had to be an act. “Especially after everything, he’s really putting such great effort into his classes.”

“So…Danny…” Alicia tried, shifting her beer can from one hand to the other. She pursed her lips, and Danny wondered what words she could possibly be searching for before she opened her mouth and said, “What do you plan on doing after high school?”

It was such a banal question that Danny almost thought that Alicia was being genuine. But then her voice echoed in his head just once more, and Danny could hear the underlying tones of curiosity and…scorn? 

Or was he reading too far into her?

“Um…” Danny shifted his gaze between Jazz and his parents. “Well…I’d like to—to work for NASA. I think.”

Alicia sucked her teeth. “NASA, huh? That’s certainly a reach. Doing what, exactly?”

Danny shrugged. He’d wanted to be an astronaut before all this. But now that he had more health conditions than he probably knew? 

Yeah. Fat chance.

“I don’t know. I just like space. I know it’ll be difficult, but…”

“Are you kidding, son? All the space agencies will be bidding on having a kid like you work for them.” Jack raised his glass, grinning. “You know how much money it’ll save them to have an astronaut who doesn’t need a space suit?”

Danny winced at Jack’s brazen reference to his ghost half, but thankfully Alicia had done little more than quirk a brow. 

“And Danny’s really handy at working our dad’s gadgets, too,” Jazz said. “I’ve been saying for years that he’d make an awesome mechanical engineer.”

“Yeah, well…” Danny rubbed the back of his neck. “We’ll see what happens.”

“But you do wanna go to college?” Alicia asked.

“I mean, I think so? Why?” 

“Well, I would have assumed you would have wanted to keep doing that ghost-fighting Phantom business.”

Ah. So they were talking about this now.

Danny had never felt so put under a microscope in his life. He would take another round of paparazzi interrogation over whatever this was.

Was it hot in this room for anyone else? Or just him?

“I—I don’t—” 

He caught Jazz’s eye, who thankfully came to his rescue. “Danny does that as a sort of community service. He doesn’t make any money off of it or anything.”

Alicia, for once, looked genuinely surprised. “No? Not even on your social media? I thought all you kids were making pocket money on social media nowadays.”

Danny had to suppress a guffaw. “Um, well, I couldn’t exactly link my bank account to my social media before all this went down. I—I guess I never really thought about that. I probably could now, but…I don’t—I don’t know. It’d feel wrong.”

“Huh, well I’ll be.” Alicia leaned back in her chair. “I’ll admit, kid, you certainly never cease to surprise me.”

He had no idea if he was supposed to thank her or be offended by that.

“As I said, we’re very proud of both of our kids,” Maddie said. She sipped her wine, giving a slight nod of approval to her sister as she did.

“The world is definitely changing. That’s for sure,” Alicia mused.

Danny let out a silent breath, supposing that was about as good as it would get from her. She was an old-fashioned woman from an old-fashioned community. Danny would almost certainly be second place to Jazz in this woman’s eyes for the rest of her life, but considering that he seemed to be lower than dirt to most of the public, Alicia not considering him the favorite was hardly the worst place to exist. 

So long as she didn’t show up with a gun and try to kill him, Danny could take a dose of skeptical comments here and there from her.

****

As usual, Danny woke up on Christmas Day with a foreboding sense of dread coursing through his body.

Although, this year, he couldn’t figure out why. Surely, he had undergone far worse things this year than surviving Christmas. But still, he couldn’t help but let that old resentment linger. And when the realization that he’d need to get out of bed hit him, he was half-wondering if he should just feign ill to avoid his family for the rest of the day. His parents would almost certainly believe him, with his long list of medications he dutifully took every day. Though, Jazz would be able to tell he was bullshitting.

He had to get out of bed, it seemed. But he would let himself take a little white pill first…

When the pain in his chest lessened and his limbs felt light once again, Danny was finally able to take his first real breath today. Maybe everything would be okay, and they would eat good food together, and make good conversation, and everyone would be happy.

Yeah. That would be nice.

He grabbed his walker and headed downstairs. Soon, he would be using forearm crutches. He’d tried a pair out at his last PT appointment and was surprised at just how much more convenient they were than a walker. He hadn’t been able to use them without the support of two adults bracing him, sure, but even just the taste of a smaller walking device rather than the bulky wheelchair and walker that he was currently using was more than a little tantalizing.

If he mastered the crutches, he could go on stairs. He wouldn’t be living the rest of his life under the constraints of elevators and—heaven forbid—stairlifts. 

He knew logically that there was nothing wrong with using those tools. Other people who needed stairlifts and elevators should use them judgment-free. But there was something wrong with him needing those things. 

Because he was Phantom.

And that was the key difference.

Pride at the forefront of his mind, he abandoned his stairlift in favor of trudging down the stairs at a painfully slow pace. He knew Aunt Alicia was watching him out of the corner of her eye, and he hoped that she could see just how much he was trying. No matter how weak and helpless the Guys in White wanted him to be, he wasn’t.

“Danno!” his father called once he’d reached the bottom of the stairs. “He’s finally awake!”

A little more breathless than he wanted to show, Danny meekly turned around to see his father in a full Santa suit, fake beard and all. 

“Merry Christmas!” Jack said.

Oh, that was right. His dad was his dad. “Merry Christmas.”

Jazz sauntered over to him and plopped a Santa hat atop his head.

“Hey!” Danny glared. He couldn’t risk letting go of his walker to bat the hat away. 

Her eyes sparkled impishly in return. “Just passing along the festive spirit!”

“Hi, sweetie!” Maddie said. “Merry Christmas!”

“Ho, ho, ho! Look at all the presents that I—Santa—delivered to these good children!” Jack puffed out his chest and pointed toward the now sufficiently stocked Christmas tree.

“Oh my god, Dad.” Danny almost cringed to death. “You don’t have to—”

“Of course I do, sonny boy! It’s all about getting into the Christmas spirit! Ho, ho, ho!”

“I’m going to puke.”

“Hah!” Alicia barked a laugh, her cheeks rosy.

Danny eyed her eggnog suspiciously.

“Not much for the Santa stuff, huh, kid?” 

“Not really,” Danny responded. “My parents never really did this stuff before, either.”

“There’s always time to start new traditions, honey!” Maddie responded, taking a sip of her eggnog as well. Like Alicia, her eyes seemed a little too bright for the morning.

His legs sufficiently shaking, Danny wasted no time in following his family over to the kitchen where a giant spread of food fit for a family of ten was waiting for him. 

“Good timing, by the way! If you hadn’t come down soon, I would have come wake you up,” Maddie said, stowing his walker off to the side once he’d gotten settled in his chair. “Brunch is ready. Juice?”

“Sure.”

“God, it’s been ages since we’ve had a Christmas together. Hasn’t it, Mads?” Alicia asked.

“I know!” Maddie closed the cupboard, glass in hand, and opened the fridge for the orange juice carton. “Not since Dad was still around.”

“I miss that old geezer.”

“He was a good man!” Jack agreed.

For once, Alicia didn’t bite his head off for speaking to her directly, likely too under the influence to care. “I’ve been trying to figure out how he makes that smoked brisket, but I’ve never quite mastered it.”

“You’ve gotten pretty close!” Maddie said.

“Mads, you’re just saying that ‘cause you have the palate of a toddler,” Alicia ribbed. Lowering her voice, she said to Jazz, though loud enough for everyone to overhear anyway, “Your mother’s a lot of things, but a chef is not one of them. One time when we were teens, she damn near burned the house down making toast. Toast! Who the hell does that?”

Maddie laughed, placing the orange juice and this morning’s dose of medication in front of Danny.

“Our neighbor thought the house was gonna burn down and called 911! The fire department showed up and everything!” Alicia pounded the table with her fist, howling laughter overtaking her.

Everyone else was also in stitches. Everyone aside from Danny, that was, who was trying to down his meds as quickly as possible so as not to let Alicia get a glimpse of the cocktail of pills he’d been prescribed. 

He’d only just gotten her as an ally. There was no need to remind her that he was actually a mutant freak.

“That was a long time ago!” Maddie countered through her chuckles. “I’ve improved since then!”

“Okay, that’s fair. Although, I still did most of the handiwork today.”

“You cooked all this?” Danny asked, eyeing the pans of quiche, cinnamon buns, and bacon.

He was so thankful that of all the things the government had ruined for him, the smell of bacon was not one of them.

“Most of it! Your mom helped me some.”

“Well, let’s not dillydally!” Jack ripped off his hat—taking the beard with it—and tucked it off to the side. “Dig in!”

For once, Danny actually let himself enjoy the meal. Perhaps it was the atmosphere, this new spark of energy that there hadn’t been before. The laughter constantly emanating from the table, the warm, inviting smells of good food, the rambunctious chatter popcorning off the walls of the kitchen. It had been so long since Danny had felt like his home was truly a home. But today, at this moment, he could genuinely feel some of that cold begin to thaw, and he could almost forget that his parents were designing a chip to control his core, that Alicia secretly hated his ghost half, that Jazz was going to leave him soon.

Almost.

But not quite.

The loud conversation made it hard for him to follow along sometimes. Especially under all the drugs, his brain had a habit of zoning out mid-conversation, and when he’d blink back into the chatter a moment later, he’d be missing some key information and would have to scramble to catch back up. His loose limbs helped the pain go away, but the dizzying side effects made him noticeably slow and clumsy with his fork. The first time his fork slipped through his fingers and fell onto his plate, he laughed it off with a comment about the Fenton Butterfingers Curse. The second time he dropped his fork? Well, that was a pattern.

One that he didn’t want Alicia to catch onto.

But that aside, the breakfast was good. It was wholesome. It was proof that they were really a family. A true, loving family. One that did family things like celebrate Christmas together.

At least, that was what he could pretend.

After they finished dishes, they opened gifts. He had actually tried—somewhat—with the little money he could scrape together this year. He’d long since understood that his parents loved their practical gifts, so he got his dad a pack of metal screws, and his mom a new pair of winter gloves. For Alicia, he got her some cleaning supplies for her gun collection. 

For his sister, he managed to find a notebook with little green ghosts on the cover, and the excited hug she’d given him seemed genuine enough. That, along with the promise that she would use it in her psych class next semester. 

“Only if—if you want,” Danny ducked his head.

“Of course I want, Danny!” Jazz playfully batted his shoulder. “Now, it’ll be like you’re right there with me every time I go to study!”

Danny tried his best to shove down the heat that threatened to overtake his cheeks. His sister could be such a dork when she wanted to be.

Although Danny wasn’t expecting much in return—his family had never really given big gifts before—his parents had genuinely left him speechless with theirs. 

At first, it was because he had no idea what the gift was supposed to be. 

“Press that button right there,” Jack said, pointing vaguely at the two small metal contraptions in Danny’s hands.

“Where?” Danny asked.

“Right on the side!” Jack said. “There’s a button on each of them.”

Danny felt around the sides of one of the sleek tubes for a button, and sure enough, when he pressed it, the tube expanded into a full-sized metal forearm crutch with black and green accents. 

Danny couldn’t help but let his eyes widen as he expanded the next one too. “Oh, whoa. Wow.”

“We know you don’t have your ghost form back right now, hon, but when you do, you’re not going to want to carry around anything bulky when you switch back and forth,” Maddie explained. “We didn’t think the current crutch designs were compact enough, so we’ve been working on these ones for the past few weeks. You just press the button and they’ll collapse back into their tubes that you can shove in your backpack or store wherever you need.”

Danny turned the crutches around in his fingers, his brain already buzzing at all the opportunities this would give him. Now, he didn’t have to worry if his Phantom form got tired. He could just switch back. Well, as soon as he figured out how to use the crutches, that was. But he could go outside now! And if he got good enough, he could even use them at school!

The thought of not being half the height of his classmates anymore was enough for his lips to curl up in a smile. “Wow, thanks.” He looked up at his parents, not sure if he’d managed to suppress the green glint in his eyes, and not exactly caring either way. “This—this is going to change so much. Holy—wow. Thank you.”

His dad slapped a hand on his shoulder. “Course, son! Gotta make sure you’re all set up now, don’t we?”

The rest of the gifts were doled out, and though Danny had collapsed the crutches back into their tubes, he refused to let them part with his hands. They stayed curled in his fists until long after all the wrapping paper had been cleared from the floor, his dad took a break from the festivities to disappear into the basement, and his mom and aunt made their way into the kitchen to drink more eggnog and chat about the good old days.

The tree lights gave the room a warm glow, warping around the ornaments and bubbling the walls with splashes of yellow. It was cozy, and for maybe the first time in his life, Danny understood why people liked having Christmas trees in their homes.

“Hey, Danny?” Jazz asked.

Danny turned to see her eyes trained on the fake fire flickering on the television.

“What?” he asked.

“Are you gonna be okay? You know, when I go off to school?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Danny asked, but his voice didn’t have the bite he had intended.

Maybe it was the warmth in the room. Maybe it was his fatigue hitting him. 

Maybe it was the odd guilt clawing in the pit of his stomach.

“I just…” Jazz huffed. 

“Jazz, you need to go to school,” he said, cutting her off. “I’ll—I’m fine. Seriously.”

Jazz didn’t look convinced.

“I’m really happy you…you stayed. But I’m healing, I got Mom and Dad and my friends. I have the—the therapists. You know? I—I’ll be fine.”

Jazz nodded slowly. 

But Danny could still see the fear in her eyes.

“Why?” he asked, turning it back on her.

“I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t be bringing this up now, but I know you’re still holding back with…everything. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to bottle stuff up just because I won’t be around anymore.”

“I’m not bottling anything up,” Danny countered. At her look, he amended. “Okay, I’m bottling a few things up. But—but really, Jazz, the big stuff? I promise I’ve talked about. I’m just adjusting still.”

“You promise?” Jazz asked, her teal eyes wide with hope. 

The nothingburger his lies had been now felt like a thousand pounds on his shoulders, but he knew that if he said no, then Jazz would never be able to be present at school. That she’d be too afraid to make close friends, commit to a club, or enjoy her new life because she would always have one hand on her phone waiting for a call from Maddie, or worse, the police. 

So Danny put on the most reassuring, loving expression he could as he uttered the words that nailed the metaphorical coffin shut: “I promise.”

“Thank you.”

****

previous / next

****

Thank you to @imekitty and @astatia-ghast for the beta work! Also huge thank you to @bibliophilea for helping me get over my insane writer's block with this chapter. I owe y'all for real 🙏

[brw]

it's so hard being a sue storm head because yes when people talk about sue cheating on reed with namor it's always misogynistic it's always ableist it's always mean-spirited to every character involved it poorly portrays sue, reed and namor and puts them in unflattering lights just for a misogynistic push on their characters. and you do all this and you say all this and it's like damn. i can't advocate for sue storm/alicia masters adultery on main now after doing all that.

[co-mixed]

Fantastic Four by John Byrne 

This run is considered to be one of the must-reads, so well, I read it. And the whole thing left a weird aftertaste. Very similar to the one you have after learning more about its creator. Yes, one could be a good artist and a decent writer without being a good human. 

But we’re here to focus on content, not the creator, and that’s what I’m going to do. 

What it feels like

I jumped into this run right after Lee/Kirby, skipping most of the stuff in the middle. So it was a new take on the team right off the bat. Byrne focuses on the human sides of the FF a little more than the original run does. The structure of the stories also changes from a day at the Baxter Building -> a villain appears -> the villain is defeated. We start getting multiple chapters or issues in every arc, and it makes them more complex. 

In fact, complexity is certainly something that appears and grows from the 1970s to the 1980s. That’s true for most comics. 

But then there is the how it’s done and the what is done. And while one is a huge leap forward, the other is very controversial. I couldn’t find any explanations for some of the storylines aside from the idea hat (you know, when you get a hat, throw random ideas in it and start pulling.) Because of that, the stories seem disjointed. They connect to one another but it’s hard to say what exactly was the writer implying. Unfortunately, the more we know about the writer in question, the less chances we have left to misinterpret it into something more digestible. 

It’s not like that (or it shouldn’t be)

Byrne leans into the white savior trope. Every time the characters encounter racism, it feels ingenuine. Especially when blond blue-eyed Johnny jumps in to save Wyatt. This same feeling I got from Roy Thomas’s apartheid issue (FF #119) and it doesn’t get better. Yeah, we can argue that this is the 80’s but that trope is in no hurry to disappear. 

When it comes to political takes, Byrne’s are controversial, to say the least. I wrote a whole longread, complaining about the bizarre Latverian arc, in which the FF organized two coups in a row first bringing democracy to the people of the country, and then, handing it back to Doom. It’s all disguised into a lesser of two evils issue but it won’t sit well with anyone who’s familiar with autocratic regimes. 

Barely moving forward

Byrne also shakes up the character dynamics. But was any of it for the better? At times, he presents a more acceptable version of Reed. He is still an easily hooked, eager scientist who can neglect his family in favor of his work. But he’s not an absolutely intolerable garbage human anymore. He is also the least interesting character of the bunch because aside from science and condescending explanations, he doesn’t have much going on. He becomes more observant though, even noticing the change in Johnny when he starts dating Alicia (and I later will circle back to that absolute eww moment.)

While all that is true, Reed is also shown to be racist against Skrulls during his trial. His statements are what any racist would say. Verbatim.

It almost feels like Byrne himself is interested less in Reed and more in other members of the team. 

Women of Marvel

A lot of attention goes to Sue, Frankie Raye, and She-Hulk. And here I’d have to give Byrne some props. They are shown as competent and as strong (or potentially as strong) as their male counterparts. It’s suggested that Sue is actually the strongest member of the team, and it’s a very reasonable statement too. She stops being a quiet voice in the back and even reflects on that.

Unfortunately, I have to retract the props immediately because there is a weird violence kink that accompanies all the development. Like Alicia being badly beaten up by Annihilus, Sue being tortured by Mephisto, She-Hulk being photographed and then verbally assaulted by an editor. This is a repeated offense with Byrne's writing. 

Then, of course, there is the arc with Sue’s miscarriage and the one with Malice. Now the first one might not rub everyone the right way, but I think it’s something that made the 80s comics relatable - human issues that heroes face. And in this case, it’s one that comes not as a result of her superhero life but of her being exposed to cosmic rays. She doesn’t immediately forget it either, this arc echoes through the following issues and while I don’t know whether the portrayal is at all genuine, it’s there and that’s quite innovative. 

Go ask Malice

Malice is another Sue-centric concept, it’s her evil alter-ego that’s brought forth by a villain.

And here I have an issue because maybe instead of Psycho-Man - a hate-based villain (which was a mediocre concept all around) it could’ve been a manifestation of her grief and exhaustion with his behavior.

This could have (and should have been) an internal family matter for the FF with Sue confronting and possibly blaming Reed and Reed finally acknowledging how crappy he’s been and changing for the better. 

Sure this doesn’t have the scale of the whole NYC in a hate-fueled frenzy but it does have just the right tone for a family. While we’re at it, Byrne doesn’t have the best track record with tackling racism or bigotry issues so again, that would’ve been much better. 

Even if the concept itself was interesting, Byrne’s execution fumbled it completely. Sue’s hate is a twisted form of her love. And when it comes to Reed, Malice actually addressed all the reasonable points. He really has done every single thing she’d accused him of, and he proceeds to do them again. So really, he doesn’t learn anything from this whole ordeal. 

It’s even worse that Sue attacks him later, again, with reasonable demands of revenge on Psycho-Man, and Reed tries to dismiss her to focus on ‘more important stuff.’

I’d say the right thing to do would be to allow She-Hulk to immediately side with Sue because that’s what any woman would do no questions asked. Ideally, Johnny should have done the same – he was raised by Sue after all. On the other side, his only male role models are Reed (ew no thanks) and Ben (ew no thanks.)

When they finally face the villain, Byrne goes back to his favorite tools - torturing Sue. The torture isn’t physical but Sue keeps seeing an exaggerated version of Reed who blames her for everything and treats her like garbage. Shockingly, he’s not that different from the real Reed. 

I don’t have to be too negative here because, in the end, Sue does defeat the villain, punish him, and save Reed. She even changes her monicker to Invisible Woman (and that’s the name we know her by now). But again, some very odd decisions preceded that positive outcome. 

This arc is pretty sad to read because psychological manipulation and violation of a person’s psyche is a big deal. This could have been a groundbreaking arc. But instead, it gets cringey at times and doesn’t do the characters justice.

...And others

Like I said, Sue isn’t the only lady who gets to stand in the spotlight. I quite liked the character of Frankie (before she fell in love with Galactus for like 3 panels). She has quite a story, having a power she couldn’t access and a phobia connected to said power. With a little more development (I’m talking modern-day standards) she could’ve been a way more compelling character. But ultimately everything worked out pretty well, especially after her over-eagerness to resolve everything with brute force paid off when she became the herald of Galactus. 

She-Hulk is always a joy to encounter, and she takes over the Thing’s spot on the team for a while after the Secret Wars. She has a cute romance with Wyatt and that’s probably one of the most adorable things in this run. Because, you know, all the other romances are getting a hit. 

But not everything is as well as it may seem. As soon as Byrne’s done torturing Sue, he proceeds to torture She-Hulk.

What about love? 

Byrne delivers us one of the most unnecessary romance stories ever, and I’m saying this as someone who’s seen Scott fall in love with Jean’s clone, Gambit making out with Storm every chance he gets (I still ship it), Wanda and Cap, even Batman and Batgirl (and that was a new low).

So Johnny and Alicia. What was that about?

I could see that happening if she hadn’t been Ben’s very serious girlfriend: there are very reasonable elements in this story that reflect the schism in their relationship. They are both growing out of it and it makes perfect sense since Alicia is younger than Ben. In fact, she’d described as just a couple of years older than Johnny who in the beginning was in high school so… best not to think about it at all. Why are old comics like that (heavy sigh). 

Either way, before they break up, Ben stays on another planet and contemplates his relationship with Alicia, deciding that they should break up. Alicia comes to the same conclusion and bonds with Johnny over tragedies and danger. 

Here’s the thing though (for this, imagine me with a cup of tea and my glasses on). Johnny has known Ben his whole life and he has to have more decency than to start a relationship with someone who hasn’t yet broken up with Ben. The same can be said about Alicia but I hardly can hold this against her, since she is friends with them all but she still isn’t (at that time) tied to them that strongly. So yeah, I can see her do that and feel justified. 

But in general, what is this whole thing about? It’s a story that doesn’t do anything but portray both characters in the worst light. And it would’ve made sense had it been the endgame. But it wasn’t, we all know that. So I’m going to take it as a temporary insanity thing and push into that ‘We don’t talk about…’ drawer where things like Connor (Angel’s son), Xavier’s crush on Jean, and the whole Avengers 200 thing go to die. 

Another thing that goes into the same drawer is the origin of Sue and Reed’s relationship (I’m guessing pre-retcon). I’m not going to comment on that because I hate Reed enough as it is. There’s just nowhere for the hate to grow.  

Moving on

There’s also Franklin and he is growing, he’s 5 now and he… becomes an adult, puts blocks on his powers, goes back to being a kid, defeats Mephisto, and sees prophetic dreams about impending Doom. Not necessarily of the doctor variety. 

I have nothing to say about Franklin just yet, except that he looks like a very short adult rather than a 5 y/o. And that’s the creepy trend that plagues the comics of the 80's. 

Same old story

I feel like Byrne simultaneously tried to bring something new to the story and burn (or Byrne!) everything just to watch the flames.

And yet so many conflicts remained the same! Johnny goes through a weird love triangle just to end up with Alicia. The Thing is stuck in the same I-wanna-be-human-I-don’t-wanna-be-human vicious circle and I’m starting to wonder if they’re even planning on giving that up. We covered Reed already, and Sue is the only one who has some new stuff going on. But she is enough to make the run interesting.

As the run nears its end, there is an issue that reminded me more of Nocenti’s style (which I don’t know who started in the comics but she definitely perfected it), that focuses on Johnny dealing with his own impact on humans. It started out interesting with the boy burning himself to be like Human Torch, but then Beyonder showed up and instead of a psychological journey (as Nocenti probably would’ve done) we get a Deus ex-Machina solution.

Was it worth it? 

I write the following with a clear understanding that I was ready to give up at least thrice during this read-through. 

I would say that there are several arcs that deserve attention: the rewritten origin of Doom (that still doesn’t explain how we’re supposed to view him as a necessary evil rather than a terrible dictator), Galactus stories, Negative Zone travels, Sue telling off Reed, and so on. So if you’re thinking of reading the run, I’d say do. 

Keep in mind that there are trigger warnings, such as racism, violence against women, and miscarriage. Byrne's run is… a lot. If you feel too disgusted, better skip it. 

At the end of the day, we're really talking about this whole thing from today’s perspective. That means we all know the red flags in writing just as well as we do which tropes are harmful and why. 

We also realize that there are more ways to look at an issue than through the eyes of a stereotypical protagonist of the era. In the 80s comics were still becoming the art form we know and love today, and narrative mistakes were made. It’s easier to follow the story if you note them but don’t focus on them. Without that, they’ll be just a bunch of outdated narratives and harmful stereotypes.

[agendabymooner]

mean ! max v. x ofc (hearth sister!ofc) - tltl series

"all you are is mean. and a liar. and pathetic."

summary: sylvie hearth and max verstappen didn't think that their friendship would come to the point where one of them would be attending a court hearing and earning money out of it. they also didn't think they'd come to the point where their friendship shifted into something more than "friendly." (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)

content warning: literally blurb/filler chapter, use of explicit language, brief court hearing scenario, spoiler: sylvie is getting a hot wheels shelf, shitty ex-friends, mentions bullying, defamation, protective!Toto, they're so in love and it's so apparent

note: mustang and cadillac are at it again :))) i also do not know much about where max's karting career as a child?? so forgive me if some of them are incorrect

masterlist

Sylvie Ford’s Former Racing Academy Issues an Apology Five Years After Her Expulsion, Claiming The Report of Misconduct Was False.

Red Bull Racing’s Max Verstappen Addresses Sylvie Ford’s Expulsion from Their Academy - The young driver publicly expressed his guilt for believing the false information. 

Sylvie Ford Sues Former Academy Classmates For Defamation and Emotional Distress — The Defendants Hoping to Receive $1M each for Damages in their Public Images.

2017

“This complaint was filed by Miss Tilly Hearth on February 12, 2008.”

“Yes.”

“Can you please tell us more about the complaint?”

“I don’t know much, but from what I am told, it was against me.”

“It says here that the report was made two months after Miss Hearth entered the Rotax Max Minimax class. You have been constantly teasing her about her abilities in the tracks.”

“If that’s what it says there,” Matt Bauer’s face remained impassive as he continued to look straight ahead.

“Looking at the records, it’s almost as if there is a report filed against you, Mr. Elias Whittaker and Mr. James Hudson every other month for the same reason from the same person— which is bullying,” Sylvie’s lawyer, Alicia, said.

“Objection,” the man’s attorney said from their table, “argumentative.”

“It’s not, Attorney Peterson,” the judge said, “Attorney Mason is simply stating the reports’ reasoning. Unless you missed something while you’re reading the evidence?”

Sylvie sighed quietly, her chin resting against the table while listening. Her other lawyer, Kim Halloway, sat next to her. The man nudged her side lightly, making her tilt her head in his direction before shooting him a smile.

She was getting bored of the hearing. But now that she thought of it, Aimee and Stevie were feeling that way somewhere in the back room.

This was way worse than Legally Blonde if you were to ask any of them. But then again, the Hearth sisters never really expected to find themselves in the court at this early stage of their adulthood.

It was already 2017, and what was a better way to start the year than to find out that your sister was bullied and kicked out of the academy without your knowledge? Not even their mother knew what happened, just that she left the class and continued her education.

Sylvie was headstrong, and she never backed out of a challenge. After each time her sister Tilly reported what she saw, Sylvie merely shrugged it off. She ignored the boys’ behaviour so much that she couldn’t face the consequences of her mental health.

Her family had been disappointed, of course, because why would she hide it away? She would’ve gotten the help that she needed. But the disappointment didn’t last long. Instead, they all started to find a way to speed up the process of the hearing— finding the best lawyers in England and getting each evidence to support her case.

And when Max Verstappen promised he’d be there for her, he never lied. He spent his Christmas with Sylvie and her family as they worked together on stating the case and essential details. Max decided not to spend his time with Dad, just telling him he’ll spend his time in England with Lando. Victoria had flown in to spend the holiday with him and their mother, Sophie, but left after.

He spent so much time with her that he nearly pissed himself whenever Toto visited the estate with Tilly and their son. Toto still didn’t like Max, and it was apparent. Was it because he was a Red Bull driver, or was it because he was a boy who was acting way friendly with Toto’s sister-in-law? Max really couldn’t tell. Looking at the Austrian man who would immediately turn his way was hard.

Regardless, Max remained there. By the third day of the hearing, he was brought up to provide his testimony. He gave them everything that needed to be heard, including how his “friends” manipulated him and how he felt so guilty about not finding out sooner.

And speaking of friends, Matt Bauer and the other two tried reaching out to Max, but the Dutchman didn’t have it. He never looked in their direction whenever they were outside the court, only keeping Sylvie close as they walked out of the courtroom.

So yes, this was more boring than Legally Blonde. Because Max wasn’t there as he finished his duty and nobody could sass her beside him. This wasn’t the kind of hearing she wanted. She really wanted him to chat shit.

She might text him after this.

The lawsuit hearing ended when the jury decided that Sylvie Hearth won her case. Therefore, she was receiving £1.5 million from the three men. Of course, they were outraged, but it was their fault that they had acted like fools. They couldn’t use the “boys will be boys” as an excuse because they all knew that even Max and their other racing friends wouldn’t do something as stupid as falsely exposing their only female counterpart, who had been kind and honest to them.

Hearing his phone going off, Max Verstappen peered down at his screen and found Sylvie’s childhood photo and her specific ringtone displayed. He excused himself from his father, who had asked him where he was going. He merely waved off Jos, going outside to answer the call.

“Hello,” he greeted her. He really should have worn earplugs.

“MAX EMILIAN!” Sylvie screamed through the other side of the call, “WE WON BITCH!”

“YAY!” Max nearly jumped up and down in joy as his smile widened. “You won!”

“I’m a million and a half pounds richer, Max!” She cackled hysterically, “They’re paying me a million and a half!”

“Look at you!” He exclaimed, “And I thought Christian’s paying you well this year.”

“A million and a half…” she muttered quietly before saying, “You know what that means, Max?”

“What?”

“WE CAN GET A CUSTOM HOT WHEELS SHELF FOR MY FLAT!” Sylvie squealed in excitement. Max could hear the kicking of her feet from the other end. “Max! My collection’s going to be displayed!”

Max only laughed at her excitement. He definitely missed her. This Sylvie, he meant. He missed Sylvie, who would get excited over any ordeal. It could be her podium win or the downfall of their enemy— he didn’t care; he missed Sylvie like this. God, the things he would do to see her giddy face.

Maybe it was terrible for him to laugh at his ex-friends’ demise, but it wasn’t that bad if Sylvie got the last laugh. Perhaps next time, they shouldn’t treat anyone like that again— they’d still be able to keep half a million pounds in their bank account if they decided to do so.

[littleharpethcrossfit]

Sunday, 1 September, 2024.

Class is at 1 PM

The temp will be MUCH cooler, 80 degrees, with a 33% chance of a thunderstorm. Bring it !!!

A pop-up thunderstorm visited us and hung around from Noon to 1 PM. Everybody chipped in with blowers and squeegee's and we started our workout right on time.

Bernard stepped right up and led us in some mobility exercises.

Warm-Up

Partner Med-Ball Tosses

10 Reps, 5 Different Ways

Strength

Bench Press..........5 X 5

They should ALL be Work Sets

70 To 80% of Your 1 Rep Max

Bernie=200 Chris B=175 Dana=145 Herb/Smoothie/Tom=135 Cheri=85 Sue=75 Shannon=65 Sandy=45 Average Dave/Linda/Alicia/Warren A and others=no postings

WOD

21 Minute AMRAP

This Can Be Partner Sharing or SOLO.

30 Calorie ROW is RX.

20 Burpees Over Your Rower

10 Power Cleans ( 145 / 115 / 85 )

SCORE: Rounds and Fractions

Bernie=4 1/3 Average Dave**/Dana**=4 Cheri/Herb/Sue/Shannon/Tom=3 1/3 Smoothie*/Sandy/Chris B=3 Linda/Alicia/Warren A did it.

Extra Credit:

Biceps Curls.........."21's"..........(45/35/22)

I didn't see anyone.....

Notes:

A few more vigorous pop-up thunderstorms moved over our Barn after our workout. I'm so grateful for the rain. We have had very little rain since Memorial Day. Yes, we have irrigation from a fine well, but it is never as good for giving coverage as a real rain. "Drops Of Gold".

I checked out our Little Harpeth River earlier today and saw that it was so low that it was pool-stage but not flowing. At that low level, the Oxygen gets low in the water and we can get a major fish kill. Hopefully todays' rain will save the fish.

Our recent LHCF favorite, Miss Maddi, is driving alone, all the way across country to NorCal, driving her SUV and pulling a U-Haul Trailer. I checked on her, like a Dad, and she is in a motel in Kansas City tonight. She is an innocent and unaware of the evil in the World type of girl, who is likely to stop and render aide to someone who has a face covered with tattoos. She has a Yellow Lab with her that hasn't a protective bone in her wagging tail. God protect her.

Sue, who is always eager to celebrate anyone's birthday, has a birthday tomorrow that she is keeping secret. Everyone please text her Birthday wishes. I won't tell you her age-less age.

Next Saturday we will workout at 0930. Please come.

[thebibliomancer]

Earth X #2

I’m seeing a couple Things, a Giant-Sized Thing, a bearded Doom, and a whole lot of Kirby krackle. This issue must focus on the Fantastic Four.

What does this Bad Future have in store for the first family of Marvel? Nothing good, probably.

First of all, yes, Uatu is still being a massive prick. To Aaron Stack specifically and also just in general.

When Uatu is recapping the concept of the Fantastic Four for Aaron/the audience, he scornfully calls Reed’s concern for Ben Grimm something that limited Reed.

I thought Uatu liked the superheroes of Earth but he’s had a bad couple years, getting mysteriously blinded and all. Still though.

The Inhuman royal family shows up on Ben Grimm’s doorstep on their quest to find the missing prince.

Ben is actually retired from the superhero game. Retired and married to Alicia with two mini Thing children.

Alicia herself was affected by the mass empowering event. She’s got Kirby krackle eyes and can imbue life in her sculptures.

The Inhumans ask what the heck happened to the Fantastic Four while they were gone and Ben shares the sad story.

The mass empowering caused food shortages. I dunno if it’s because everyone needed so many more calories or whether the supply lines were just disrupted.

Consequently, countries began fishing EVEN MORE to feed their citizens. Which was related to the ocean and so pissed off Namor.

When the UN met to discuss the food crisis, Namor asked for a seat at the table. But the UN didn’t recognize Atlantis as a real place and told him to fuck off.

So Doom was easily able to recruit Namor in a scheme to attack the UN and hold the food supply hostage.

He who controls the hamburgers, controls the world.

Captain America and the Fantastic Four jumped into action to stop them. And Johnny Storm, the Human Torch, decides he’s got Namor.

Except Namor has him.

Namor kills Johnny. Right in front of Franklin. Who I guess has never had to really reckon with death.

(You brought him to the battle? You couldn’t get a babysitter or something?)

Enraged, Franklin uses his reality manipulation powers to wish Namor was constantly on fire.

The burning fish man flees screaming into the ocean, leaving the Terrific Three and Captain America to confront Doom.

Doom tries to bargain for his life against a FURIOUS Sue by claiming he knows what caused the mass empowering and he knows how to fix it.

Reed rejects the notion in disbelief because the mass empowering, what fucked the world, was caused by an experiment he was running to use vibranium to bring free energy to the world. Surely!

Vibranium altered the whole of humanity on a cellular level! That’s the explanation Reed believes!

(I have some doubts, given Doom suggested an alternative theory existed but never explained it.)

And then Doom exits scene pursued by Sue and both seemingly explode.

In grief, Reed takes over as Doctor Doom. Moving into Doom’s castle in Latveria and wearing Doom’s armor and working ceaselessly on trying to fix the world.

He works with equally shut-in and beardy Tony Stark over video chat but Tony is losing hope this is a problem they can fix. That maybe this is just the new normal and they’re obsolete.

These are the thoughts Tony thinks if he goes too long without shaving.

Also, in the issue, Captain America in his flag toga and Wyatt Wingfoot break into the crashed Helicarrier to use Nick Fury’s flying car to get to California to investigate the new Red Skull.

(The background info of last issue suggested that Nick Fury is dead but that there are tons of his old Life Model Decoys causing trouble around the world.)

The all-new all-different Daredevil finally appears. He’s the daredevil for a circus, the man without fear because nothing can kill him.

I cannot fathom so far why this new Daredevil gets so much focus. He appeared on the cover of issue 1 despite not appearing in person. There were posters of him in the backgrounds of some scenes in issue 1 and the Thing children were watching him on TV. And now he gets a whole extended sequence at the circus where the audience is invited to shoot flamethrowers at him.

Then minions of the Red Skull show up to kidnap the audience.

Hi Domino, Sunspot, and Sandman.

Guess there’s going to be some spot the cameo with Red Skull’s crowd.

Back of the book worldbuilding info: the mutated world has been great for some people. The Moloids enjoy surface tourism and revere Reed as a saint on the assumption he caused it.

The Skrulls and Kree have refugee populations on Earth after their forever war reduced both empires to a cinder.

And although the mutants were blamed for the mass empowering event, they blend in far too well to catch hate anymore.

Other popular theories were: the government caused it, a curse caused it, and evolution caused it.

So I’m assuming that none of those are correct and neither is Reed’s theory about the vibranium energy project being the cause.

There’s so many issues left. And this is the big mystery. The correct answer surely is not on the table yet.

So to sum up: Avengers dead, half the Fantastic Four dead, Captain America is wearing a toga, Norman Osborn runs America, mind control alien squid on the loose, and a new Red Skull causing trouble.

Earth X is a mess.

[mannatea]

sings the tune without the words, a Tales of Symphonia ‘fic in the Our Aselia series (Chapter 1)

Current Word Count: 1,569 Summary: 4,000 years after the events of Tales of Symphonia, our heroes have been reborn. Chapter Summary: Lloyd and Colette star in the Church of Regeneration's play about the world regeneration! Pairing/Characters: Lloyd/Colette, eventually the main cast will arrive. Background ships that I won't tag in the story to avoid disappointing people are: Sheena/Zelos, Genis/Presea, and Regal/Raine. Extra Info: Done for @colloydweek 2023, prompt #1: wings! Every day will be a new chapter! Rating: T for the whole story, but this chapter is G. Genre: Friendship, eventual romance, and a lot of fun (I hope!).

--

There are a lot of notes from character ages to backstories, so I'll slap them all under this first chapter, just to get them out of the way.

--

Our Aselia is a reincarnation!lite* series.

It takes place in a “modern day” Aselia, roughly 4,000 years after the events of the game. It ignores DotNW and Phantasia. There is no longer a distinct division of race, as full-blooded dwarves and elves have long since disappeared along with the Katz. Almost everyone alive has some trace of elven or dwarvish blood, and due to this it’s not uncommon to see some variety in hair color, eye color, and even ear shapes.

A lot of other things have changed, too. The now-historical events of Tales of Symphonia have been altered over the course of thousands of years. Multiple religious branches have popped up, all of which believe something different or focus their study/belief/praise on one specific aspect of their understanding of the history of the world. There are no exspheres and very few records of them having ever existed. Sybak is just a regular university town, now, known for its elite college. Meltokio is a metropolis. Spellcasting is a lost art, and magical talent in general is so exceedingly rare that it’s been many years since anyone with a real measure of talent was seen—or at least exposed.

*Reincarnation!Lite means that the events of Tales of Symphonia took place, and the characters were eventually reborn; however, this fact is mostly lurking in the background and not the subject or main theme.

This story in the series, “sings the tune without the words,” was done for Colloyd Week 2023 and follows the lives of Lloyd and Colette. The title is from the Emily Dickinson poem, “Hope” is the thing with feathers. Though Lloyd and Colette’s story in the game has many wonderful themes to explore, I think at their root is always hope, so it felt fitting for them.

Random things:

I refuse to tag the other ships because they’re all kind of in the “background” but YES this fic reeks of “pair the spares” and NO I won’t apologize for it. It’s not that any character feels like a “spare” so much as…everyone gets paired up.

Every member of the main cast appears at least once, but some get way more attention than others.

I rewrote everyone’s backstory more than once because writing backstories for these characters was way harder than I anticipated (more on this later, though).

Regal’s family line has apparently gone unbroken for thousands of years. So sue me. I figure if it went on 800 years in the canon, what’s another 4,000 years? The Bryants fuck I guess.

Time passes exceedingly fast in this story. I tried to cover a lot of time in just seven chapters, so be warned that with each new chapter there will be a jump in age for the characters.

Character ages are NOT the same as in canon. I’d have loved to be able to keep them the same, or at least similar, but there were too many instances of it just not working. This ties into my struggle with writing backstories, so I’ll get into the specifics with that.

In Chapter 2, the benchmark for ages is as follows:

Lloyd: 17

Colette: 16

Genis: 15

Presea: 16

Zelos: 19

Sheena: 18

Raine: 28

Regal: 33

Alicia: 26

--

Character backstories were a whole can of worms, but not the kind you can go fishing with.

Because this is a reincarnation!lite story, I didn’t want to mimic the canon here. My first attempt at writing out backstories for everyone did have me trying to come up with similar situations as the canon, but it had this extremely offputting side effect of making most of the characters feel exceedingly tragic in nature—particularly Regal and Sheena.

My goal with the characters in Our Aselia was to give them backstories based on the core character concepts/traits that they possess. For example, you might think “guilt” is Regal’s primary character trait at a glance, but it’s not. It’s there, but it’s not primary. Rather, his capacity to feel guilt and grief to that degree is what I was looking for, and finding that leads me to the fact that he is a compassionate and empathetic character.

It was still difficult, especially with characters like Presea and Regal, whose connection via Alicia relies so much on heavy magical/fantasy-world tropes that I had already decided wouldn’t (or couldn’t) exist in this version of the world.

Like I discussed briefly in my post, The Fascinating & Frustrating Experience of Writing AUs for Tales of Symphonia, I wanted to avoid a portrayal of these characters that might make them feel as if they were on a tragic hamster wheel, doomed from the start of their lives to repeat mistakes of the past.

So in this story, Alicia gets to be alive and she is the older sister now. Raine was aged up to allow her to have a couple of years of teaching experience before she ends up teaching her brother/Lloyd/Colette in middle school. Genis was aged up to make his friendship with Lloyd feel more believable and so that he only had to skip one grade to catch up to him. Zelos and Sheena were aged slightly down to help their introduction to the story feel like a more natural/plausible situation.

Also for the sake of this story, Dirk’s last name is Irving.

--

Now let’s talk actual backstories, because a lot of these are only hinted at or briefly mentioned in the story (there just wasn’t room to say too much more) and I worked hard on them.

Lloyd: Adopted by Dirk. He never hides the truth from Lloyd but he also won’t tell him anything about his biological parents until he’s 18+. (This is to honor Kratos and Anna’s wishes. He was their friend/acquaintance.)

Colette: She is the only child of Frank and Calista Brunel. Her maternal grandmother, Phaidra, lives with the family, and Phaidra’s older sister Aithra visits often. Frank married into his wife’s family and took his wife’s last name; he claims it was for love but Colette has always suspected there was a bigger reason behind it.

Raine & Genis: Their father is an on-the-road trucker who isn’t home often (and when he does bother to come home, he mostly just makes their lives miserable). Virginia has to work to keep her children cared for and this leaves Raine to more or less raise Genis 50% of the time. At 18, Raine attends a local college on an academic scholarship and eventually gets a job and moves out to escape her father; her apartment becomes a safe haven for Genis. She settled on education as a practical degree because the only thing she was ever good at was school. Eventually she goes on to teach at the college level. She has a very complicated relationship with her mother.

Presea: Her mother left after Presea was born, leaving the girls’ father to raise them. Alicia teases Presea sometimes that she must secretly be the older sister because she’s so serious and bossy. Father works a hard labor job. Alicia was closer to mom (both of them more “free spirit” types) and Presea closer to her dad (both “hardworking down to earth” types) so most of the care as their dad gets older ends up falling to Presea. She’s quiet and studious and likes working with her hands. She meets Genis on the internet and they become friends.

Regal: Born to carry on his family’s legacy, he was sent away to school most of his younger years (boarding schools, then college). He sees his parents regularly due to work but does not have much of a relationship with them. He met Alicia when he was promoted into the main office of his father’s company; she was a member of the janitorial staff and saw him working late. They eventually struck up a relationship but his family did not approve and treated her poorly when they were introduced. She gave him an ultimatum (your toxic family or me), and he wasn’t strong enough to sever ties to his family and his work. They are both heartbroken but there's no hatred there. He meets Raine and Colette when Colette applies for a scholarship through the Lezareno Group—the scholarship fund is Regal’s pet project. He reads the essays and letters of recommendation himself to choose the winners. Raine’s letter of recommendation catches his eye because, while most educators brag up the student they’re trying to help win, Raine’s letter is unfailing honest in saying Colette is not the most academically successful student, but she always works exceptionally hard. He meets both of them at the scholarship acceptance banquet, and he and Raine strike up a friendship.

Zelos: Sheena’s on-again, off-again boyfriend. He’s the kinda guy that shows up at her apartment whether or not he’s currently dating her. He’s (not so secretly) the son of a famous politician, and has a large inheritance. His father committed suicide (or so they say) and his mother “managed” his finances/inheritance until he was of age, when he promptly cut her off. He pays for his younger half-sister’s private schooling and medical expenses almost as a fuck-you to his mother (but does not otherwise maintain a relationship with any of his family). He was the product of a one-night stand/entrapment scheme (he thinks) and is wary of them himself. Got snipped at 18 to keep it from happening to him. Very pro-choice safe-sex sex-positive and will go out with/have sex with anyone he finds attractive if he’s currently unattached. Commitment-phobic because he finds it hard to believe that people aren’t after him for his money. He generally likes and trusts Sheena because she wears her heart on her sleeve but his problems keep getting in the way of a long-term relationship working out between them.

Sheena: Colette’s roommate when Colette attends college. They rent an apartment together in Meltokio. Sheena found the wanted ad in the paper. She doesn’t attend college herself; she waitresses and thinks she’s too dumb for college. She was abandoned as a baby on the step of an elderly couple, and was eventually adopted by them. She had a simple but happy childhood, and has grown up to be hardworking. She’s an out bisexual and has a crush on Colette for a while but knows she doesn't stand a chance.

[rraaaarrl]

Fantastic Four (2022) #2

I finally had a chance to read the second issue of the new Fantastic Four series. And it did not disappoint!

It followed a similar theme as the first issue, only instead of the focus being on Ben and Alicia, it's Reed and Sue: a mystery that they end up investigating, with a bittersweet conclusion.

Disclaimer: robots and androids are my emotional achilles heel 🥲

Also, the idea of a doombot impatiently saying "BUT MOOOM" is simultaneously hilarious and endearing.

Reed and Sue are disgustingly precious, as they should be ❤️

Sue commenting that Reed's version of decompressing is analyzing Doctor Doom is ....yes, that is definitely our Reed 🥲

I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say Victor felt he had a debt to repay to a sweet woman who took care of him like a son, when he was in college.

Her observation on Victor's drive and ambition:

Of course, Reed doesn't want to crush the woman by telling her that the intense young man is now considered one of the most power super-villains, now would he? And where's the lie? 🥲

Reed is a terrible liar, it should be noted:

....I'm going to need a moment 😭

Finally, I leave you with the somewhat horrific idea of Reed's noodly fingers rummaging and feeling around inside a your skull 💀

Anyway, this issue was great and I'm looking forward to the next issue, how refreshing!

[mouseratz]

also im fine with reed being a piece of shit as long as he's niceys to sue has a touch of wifeguy. can someone be autistic and evil and NOT a misogynist. please ......I'm a big believer in "characters being messy and freakish adds something but sexism don't". and uhm. yeah. early ff already has plenty of that. also bonus points if sue herself is kinda fucked up; she can still be generally kind & still the Heart of the group (ff despite the title works well with Five Man Band (trope)), but she deserves to get weirder if she wants. you know.

also I DID see a post saying the thing is butch. Ben and Alicia SHOULD be lesbians. that actually is perfect to me this will require more exploration on my part......

Johnny's good. asshole little brother. perf. I do think he's gay though in text he's not really interested in women aside from the appearance of having a girlfriend and he talks about both peter and spiderman a LOT even when neither appear in any given issue. don't sexualize him I think he should at least start as just an obnoxious kid who yes originally just tagged along on the flight/accident because sue was there (Although the loss of their mother & the estranged father makes them make a lot of sense as tight-knit siblings, they may genuinely be afraid to be without the other too long because of that background.)

[fkinavocado]

Is there someone you see as DI y/n? 👀 not like a faceclaim or so but is there someone you think fit in your head? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to i’m just curoius!

lmao it's actually funny you mention this cuz i was just discussing this with @gurugirl the other day and she laughed her socks off when i told her this is who i usually imagine as y/n

a young, clutzy and effortlessly hot alicia silverstone. yes i'm basic lmao sue me. and i personally am not even into blondes i can't tell you for the life of me why she always pops up in my head 🤷‍♀️

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #303

Sun Feb 6 2022 [10:38 PM] Wack'd: Ben is in a mood over Johnny/Alicia stuff still, but for once decides to be a social, reasonable person and see if Reed and Sue wanna hang out [10:38 PM] Bocaj: My god [10:39 PM] Umbramatic: -gasp- [10:39 PM] Wack'd: But then he overhears Sue saying she wants to spend the night alone with Reed and Reed saying they should hang out with Ben so they don't think he's been ditched, and decides if it's gonna be a pity thing he'll just go mope outside [10:39 PM] Umbramatic: aw [10:40 PM] Wack'd: Once outside, he finds Thundra has returned to his time and needs his help! In her time! [10:41 PM] Umbramatic: :O [10:41 PM] maxwellelvis: "Are you sure this ain't just some kinda trick to get to wrassle me again?" [10:41 PM] Wack'd: You might remember Thundra came from a future where women ruled over men and then through a bunch of weird bullshit that future got merged with one where men rule over women to create a perfect heterosexual paradise [10:41 PM] Bocaj: Yeah [10:42 PM] Bocaj: I remembered part of that [10:42 PM] Umbramatic: i kinda recall [10:42 PM] Wack'd: Considering this is something Gerry Conway came up with for her after Thomas left I am...interested...to see Thomas' take on this [10:42 PM] Bocaj: There's two ways to handle a different writer messing up your concepts [10:43 PM] Bocaj: Doing a "yes and" or "nuh uh shut up" [10:43 PM] Wack'd: So the thing Thundra needs help with is that the men have gotten uppity and overthrown the ladies so I guess that perfect heterosexual future collapsed off-panel and/or in someone else's book [10:44 PM] Bocaj: Damn heteros [10:44 PM] Umbramatic: damn them [10:44 PM] Wack'd: Have an infodump and also some fun visuals

[10:45 PM] Umbramatic: ooooh [10:45 PM] Bocaj: Wow. That sure is. Some handwave [10:45 PM] Umbramatic: YEAH [10:45 PM] maxwellelvis: That's now how alpha rays work [10:45 PM] Umbramatic: THE FEMALE WUSSIFICATION BEAM [10:46 PM] Umbramatic: MAKES YOUR ESTROGEN DO THE WIDDLY DIDDLY [10:46 PM] Wack'd: Considering "male" and "female" are fuzzy, social constructs I am. Interested. In how you build a robot that has physical effects on only one party without getting into some real gross territory, but it's the late 80s and Thomas was just ahead of his time in the early 70s, so [10:46 PM] Umbramatic: oof [10:46 PM] Bocaj: It’s a robot champion [10:46 PM] Bocaj: Obviously it only understands binary [10:46 PM] Wack'd: 🥁 [10:46 PM] Bocaj: Thank ya thank ya [10:47 PM] Wack'd: ben these men are already misogynists, i don't think you needed the extra excuse

[10:48 PM] Umbramatic: i mean, it's like a bonus [10:48 PM] Umbramatic: the sweet cherry on top to ben's beat-em up sundae [10:48 PM] Bocaj: The way he says that does sort of imply that he's only begrudgingly here beating up misogynists [10:48 PM] Wack'd: BEHOLD, MALEKIND'S GREATEST CHAMPION

[10:48 PM] Umbramatic: sexy [10:48 PM] Bocaj: Oh geez Goro you let yourself go ro [10:48 PM] maxwellelvis: You beat me to it [10:49 PM] Wack'd: i love this dude. he looks like if popeye moved to the mountains and then fell in a vat of radiation [10:50 PM] Wack'd: man can't we get nonbinary representation that's not robots

[10:51 PM] Wack'd: ...hey wait a second how'd a third pronoun set get into THIS story [10:51 PM] maxwellelvis: What happened to Ben's singlet? [10:52 PM] Bocaj: Thundra hasn't met Vision and learned that artificial beings can have gender. [10:52 PM] Wack'd: I think Buscema either just plum forgot, or Thomas was like "aw I like him in the briefs though" [10:52 PM] maxwellelvis: Buscema drew the last few issues! [10:52 PM] Wack'd: I know [10:52 PM] Wack'd: Maybe he forgot [10:53 PM] Bocaj: Maybe that talk with Franklin talked Ben out of it? [10:53 PM] Wack'd: We'll see next issue I guess [10:54 PM] Wack'd: So in the aftermath of victory over this robot Thundra pops the question [10:55 PM] Wack'd: She likes his sense of humor, she respects him as a warrior, and her empire's expanding and she needs a second in command [10:55 PM] Bocaj: That third thing kicked me in the face [10:55 PM] maxwellelvis: "Ya had me in the first half, I won't lie." [10:56 PM] Wack'd: "Last I looked, you gals had a republic, not an empire." "We have expanded, and as this nation's military commander, I was named its empress." "Couldn't happen to a nicer girl." [10:56 PM] Umbramatic: oh my god [10:57 PM] Bocaj: Career oriented [10:57 PM] Bocaj: Better put a ring on her, Ben [10:57 PM] Bocaj: She'll be beating up suitors with a stick [10:57 PM] Wack'd: Ben appreciates the offer, and considers it considering how miserable his own life is, but ultimately decides it wouldn't be fair to her to marry her as a rebound because he's depressed [10:58 PM] Wack'd: He muses that what he really wants is not to have ditched Alicia for Battleworld and have his old life back [10:59 PM] Wack'd: To which Thundra's like "hey, we've got time travel and my society knows stuff about Secret Wars, I can make that happen" [10:59 PM] Bocaj: They do?? [10:59 PM] Wack'd: I mean she did come back in time to get him to begin with [11:00 PM] Wack'd: Her world is an alternate future, remember? [11:00 PM] Bocaj: I mean the Secret Wars thing [11:00 PM] Wack'd: Oh yeah she's like "we were monitoring it but we weren't there" in what's flagrantly a handwave retcon whatever [11:00 PM] Aleph Null: ‘snot very secret, then? [11:01 PM] Wack'd: I mean the entire city of Columbus Ohio was also there, so I dunno how secret it was to begin with [11:01 PM] Bocaj: Mostly in a marketing sense [11:01 PM] Bocaj: But when the Avengers got back from it, Captain America was like 'eh lets not tell the government' [11:02 PM] Wack'd: Oh right because there was a timeskip and status quo changes and it was like "what precipitated those changes will be a secret unless you read this event comic" [11:03 PM] Aleph Null: so like, the marvel-verse version of my maternal aunt and uncle knew about secret wars [11:03 PM] Aleph Null: the hypothetical version of myself in the marvel universe would have family involved in the events of secret wars [11:03 PM] Wack'd: Yes [11:03 PM] maxwellelvis: They were there [11:04 PM] maxwellelvis: They probably might have known one of the two ladies who became new supervillains during the event. [11:04 PM] Bocaj: God, that'd be wild [11:04 PM] Aleph Null: wild [11:04 PM] Wack'd: So back to this story [11:05 PM] Wack'd: Ben gets astral projected back to the moment he was about to leave for Secret Wars and steps out of the way of the teleportation beam just in time, turns around, goes home, and proposes to Alicia [11:05 PM] Bocaj: I wonder how this will inevitably go wrong [11:05 PM] Bocaj: This has What If written on it [11:06 PM] Wack'd: I think it's just good old fashioned guilt honestly [11:06 PM] maxwellelvis: Johnny will literally never know you did this to him, I say go for it. [11:06 PM] Wack'd: When Reed and Johnny get back from Secret Wars, Ben thinks Johnny looks sad about the wedding news, and speculates that he was already nursing a crush beforehand [11:07 PM] Bocaj: Maybe he's sad about Zsaji, his dead alien girlfriend [11:07 PM] Aleph Null: if i was kidnapped by the beyonder i would simply say no thank you [11:07 PM] Wack'd: And during the ceremony he spots Jen and Wyatt and is like "oh, right, I guess I broke them up retroactively" [11:09 PM] Wack'd: In any case Ben can't live with the guilt, objects himself during that part, you know the one, and then leaves through the wall of the church because he's kind of a drama queen [11:10 PM] Bocaj: Geez Ben [11:11 PM] Wack'd: Thundra has been monitoring Ben in case this happened and pops him back to the real timeline, just in time to avoid a mob of very confused wedding guests [11:13 PM] Bocaj: I bet this split timeline still exists [11:13 PM] Bocaj: Just being a really confusing AU [11:13 PM] Wack'd: And so Ben's learned that he needs to accept the way reality is instead of longing for what could or should have been [11:14 PM] Wack'd: Which, y'know, will be really funny in five years [11:15 PM] Bocaj: Ben learned the lesson, the writers didn't [11:15 PM] Umbramatic: yep [11:16 PM] Wack'd: Next issue begins the year and a half long Englehart administration and I'm sure when this issue was being put together someone asked him, "hey, Bryne kinda left you with the bag, and then Stern did this wedding and pissed off, you want us to fix this for you?" [11:16 PM] Wack'd: And there's a world where Englehart said "that'd be great, thanks" and this issue ended differently [11:18 PM] Wack'd: But Roy Thomas is also, you know, the guy that had Sue blow up at Reed over his sexism and get a trial separation where she tried to figure out who she is without Reed. He's a little cannier than his peers. There's a part of me that likes to think, unlikely as it may be, that he deliberately put together a cautionary tale about retcons and no one listened [11:20 PM] Bocaj: Makes me imagine his disembodied head floating around the marvel officers going "I warrrrrrned youuuu" whenever continuity gets tied into a knot [11:21 PM] Wack'd: Pfft [11:23 PM] Wack'd: Letters! [11:25 PM] Wack'd: Val Hutchinson of U of Kansas is liking how there's tension in the team again and Ben has some angst. I don't disagree but it's gotten a little one-note, which I guess it hasn't had time to yet for some folks as of five issues ago [11:26 PM] Wack'd: Kenneth A Lewis, address withheld by request, likes that Sue's "beautiful long hair" is back and asks Alicia's grow back as well. Ugh [11:26 PM] Umbramatic: yipe [11:27 PM] maxwellelvis: I can see why he'd ask them not to publish his address. [11:27 PM] Umbramatic: otherwise he'd catch these hands [11:27 PM] Wack'd: He also suggests a Fantastic Four lookalike contest, to which whoever responds to these letters remarks "if such a contest was extended to the entire Marvel Universe, it might never end" [11:27 PM] maxwellelvis: I was hoping it was only that first part and that the response would read as very scared and confused. [11:28 PM] Wack'd: Someone is really chomping at the bit for the return of Umbra and Jaagar. For some reason [11:29 PM] Umbramatic: i'm flattered [11:29 PM] Wack'd: Someone wants Sharon Ventura back from Ben's solo, which is neat for them eventually [11:30 PM] Wack'd: And finally the manager of this letter's column politely reminds any prospective letter writers that if you want to subscribe to the magazine please use that address, and not the letters column, please and thank you

[hashtagordinarygirls]

#July24mailbag

Art by AyylaGTS

Which of you has the highest-valued wardrobe?

Whitley: Depends. Do you mean whose cost the most or whose is the most valuable?

Krysta: I would like to preface by mentioning my wardrobe includes eleven custom-made bras lettered in the latter half of the alphabet and designed by a licensed mechanical engineer.

Alicia: ..and my wardrobe includes two custom made fur suits, not-one-not-two-but-three pairs of angel wings, and a suit of armor.

Whitley: And it's still me by a landslide #gigantique

Krysta: Other than bras, the rest of my wardrobe is secondhand and tailored.

Alicia: You're welcome. And I make most of my own clothes or get them free through sponsorships.

Whitley: Downsides of outgrowing the big & tall shops.

Alicia: But if you're asking who has sold their clothes for the most money...

Krysta: Keep in mind, I do not sell bras for any less than twice what I pay for them, and I have a penchant for outgrowing them.

Alicia: ...and my old cosplays were designed and handmade by a professional cosplayer *two thumbs at self*

Whitley: I still win, and it ain't even close. #thankyoufootstuff

If you had to spend a day as one of your roommates, who would you pick?

Krysta: Whitley. Standing taller than everyone for a day would be refreshing, and I am already used to people staring at me.

Whitley: Alicia, because burning an entire day spent lifting heavy stuff while baked sounds kinda fun.

Alicia: Krysta, because she has humongous boobs that she doesn’t let her roommates play with.

Whitley: Speak for yourself.

Krysta: I know what you are talking about, and that did not qualify as “play.”

Alicia: Wait, what?

To Krysta and Alicia: how does it feel now to not be the shortest people around? Now you can understand what Whitley feels all the time around the "normal height" people.

Whitley: Okay first, who says I’m not the normal one and all y’all are short?

Alicia: You might even say she's rather ordi—

Whitley and Krysta: Stop.

Krysta: To begin with, the only thing we “outgrew,” was the room. And we did not change size, it was an illusion using—

Alicia: LIES! So, last weekend we got this mysterious package in the mail. No return address. Inside was an ancient magic wishing stone that, when we touched it, made the three of us suddenly start growing, and GROWING. Bigger, and bigger, and bigger until...

Whitley: Before you go on, does the 'no speaking with the intent to arouse' house rule still apply in this interview?

Krysta: Yes.

Alicia: Um, next question, then?

Which of the trio likes filling the room the most?

Alicia: Loved it. Got some next level selfies. There's something about being thirty feet tall really brings out your eyes.

Krysta: Your sense of scale is atrocious.

Whitley: Thumbs down. If you think being too tall to stand in a room sucks, try being too tall to sit.

Krysta: Indifferent. seeing as I am the second most likely in our group not to fit in a space due to my proportions.

Whitley: Remember that time your tit got stuck in the elevator?

Alicia: That video was amazing! Oh, and Krysta's right, Whitley. That doesn’t count as 'play.'

Whitley: I had fun.

Alicia: It did look fun.

Krysta: Moving on…

And to the whole group: Anyone have an update on our friend Nika?

Alicia: I haven’t heard anything now that she’s back with her ex.

Krysta: …again.

Alicia: She mainly posts about the two of them. Date pics. Beach pics. Volleyball. Talk about legs for days!

Whitley: …

Alicia: I forget, what was her name? Sue Ellen?

Krysta: Selene?

Alicia: Sonya?

Krysta: Sienna?

Whitley: …

Alicia: Salome?

Krysta: Solange?

Alicia: Shiloh?

Krysta: Siobhan?

Whitley: Sloane.

Alicia: Someone sounds jeaaaaalous.

Krysta: It’s not because she’s tall is it?

Whitley: I hear Lexie Cheer is up to an H-cup. No wonder she’s up to four million followers.

Krysta: …

Alicia: You two are so competitive. Yumi has like, five times more followers than me and we're great! We even played strip Mario Party live on stream last weekend—which I won, by the way—because I was naked way before her.

Krysta: I believe that means you lost.

Alicia: But did I? That’s the thing because I don’t actually care!

Whitley: It’s like they they say, if you can’t beat ‘em, fu—

Whitley was a big eater before...now what'll she do??

Whitley: Probably buy and manage my own farm where I can ethically and sustainably farm my own food, employ a few staff. Then work out a co-op deal with my neighbors for any leftovers.

Alicia: With the money you’d be making on foot stuff at that size, you could probably buy two.

Krysta: You appear to have thought about this.

Whitley: I do two-hour weekly live chats. You think this hasn’t come up? Besides, what are your guys' contingencies if you keep growing?

Alicia: I figure the government will come pick me up at some point and hire me as Captain America. Except I won't do the superhero stuff. Just the stage shows with backup dancers where I wear costumes and dance.

Krysta: Macromastia to immobilization would easily make me enough to afford full-time breast care professionals.

Whitley: Wait, is that a thing?

Alicia: I would do it for free.

Krysta: Professionals.

Whitley: Seriously though, is that a thing?

How difficult is it to use technology at this new size?

Krysta: I have a touchscreen and small hands to begin with, so it was only a mild inconvenience.

Whitley: Not worth it. Just gave me more reason to unplug.

Alicia: It was sooo hard! I kept accidentally smashing stuff because if you think I'm strong now, I'm a freakin' behemoth at nine feet tall—

Krysta: Do you have no sense of scale whatsoever?

Whitley: You probably could have deadlifted the entire house.

Alicia: OMG new life goal unlocked!

Krysta: Must you plant these ideas?

Whitley: What? I'd like to see it.

Whitley: Have you considered doing a web series that documents your ongoing growth spurt? I'm sure that it would be very popular.

Whitley: Why? I have fans to do that for me.

Alicia: No kidding. Have you read her Wikipedia page lately?

Krysta: I have. I also corrected several errors in her Vietnamese page last week.

Whitley: Aw, I’m flattered, P-Cup.

Krysta: I have a low tolerance for inaccurate information.

Alicia: I only have English, Japanese, and German Wikipedia pages, but I also appear on the trivia section of Yumi's IdolWiki page.

Krysta: I do not have a Wikipedia presence, but I do have one of the top-three highest traffic pages on the Big Titty Wiki.

Whitley: Wait, who’s higher than you?

Alicia: If I had to guess—

Krysta: Next question.

Alicia: Have you ever considered a career in professional wrestling?

Alicia: Oh absolutely! I tried out a few times. I even made a costume and everything. Didn't work out though 😞

Whitley: Too many rules?

Krysta: Lack of creative control?

Alicia: Yeah, those and I kept accidentally putting dudes in the hospital 😇

Whitley, can we say you are unquestionably a mini giantess now?

Whitley: Dunno. How tall am I?

Alicia and Krysta: 226 centimeters

Whitey: There you go. Y’all can call me whatever you want.

Alicia: Except “late for dinner!”

Krysta: Alright, I am done here.

[the-firebird69]

Trump's CPAC speech showed clear signs of major cognitive decline — yet MAGA cheered | Salon.com

Donald Trump was caught in the group that tossed his daughter's sister which is also his daughter off the cliff and it's a threat against Haley who is running against him and for the presidency and he is trying to stop our son but a lot of people know about it. Chargers are being drawn up and they're going to charge it with a homicide and it's homicide of someone who is a competitor and they have different names and they're going to make it stick and they threatened our son with it and it was Trump and his idiots he was Dan the Man and we are going to send him down the river for it granted it was George doing it but this man is an idiot and needs a lot more restraints and George takes him off to threaten for his own gain and he's losing the game and JC is and these idiots Trump is going to be out soon and completely dead and there's no doubt about it everybody knows it and it's going after him that leads us to more but we're going to publish this is huge news

Thor Freya

Olympus

You can't just kill someone Trump and we're going to prove it

Hera

Yes we're going after you in court I'm going to sue you for everything you're worth I'm going to take you to prison and file criminal charges on all sorts of things including this and I'm sorry you can't pay attention to the end of one sentence

Alicia

I'm finally charges right now against you Trump and I see you threatening me with my own daughter's death and it's your daughter and you're a moron

Sarah

You need to carve you and your clones out you're too much of a rankus you're running around you're a blaspheme and that's people know those words mean and apparently you don't

Terry c

Olympus

[brittlebonesguy]

time for season 8

NOOOO!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! lex is BACK???????? what, to haunt me? i thought i wouldnever see him again. and fucking TOM>??sexist, pervert tom? this has ruined my day. at least i know thisis the season boston rob meets his wife (amber) so that'll be fun at least. but i have a feeling this season is a stinker. ohgod and that "i'll do anything for you just to look at me" rob from the amazon season. kill me. "no body trusts anybody" boston rob says with his soon to be wife standing 2 feet away. i'm really only rooting for rupert. maybe amber, we'll see. sue you're gonna get brain parasites please. alicia is so right though, its day two who made amber and rob be in charge, richard is obnoxious shii ann say it louder! i want a season long combat between shii ann and richard, that would be funny. colby's face dropping the moment he sees jerri lol. he knows shes gonna hit on him again come merge. bye tina! sad it was you and not ethan

colby.....what does him being gay have to do with it. oh big tom how i loathe you. i actually don't want rudy voted out thanks. damn. okay bye old man. now that shii ann isnt surrounded by the worst filth possible i am liking her more. richard is crazy what was that? biting a shark back? i don't even care if sue is annoying. an enemy of tom is a friend of mine. sue, you are the love of my life. never leave. amazon rob really is just so pathetic. ah yes the classic jerri fight where she says the other person is controlling while also being controlling. she makes points but girl please. yes shii ann colby and lex are incredibly sexist and honestly please never speak to them again.

jenna we're doing this again? why did you come back. this whole thing of her leaving is so dramatic. of course tom would think that amazon rob is smarter than alicia... come on......NO ONE wants tom out? be serious. anyway bye amazon rob

this is colby's worst nightmare: jerri getting put on the same tribe as him. richard being naked on the balance beam think was.....definitely something and definitely gross. fuck YES boston rob winning against the show off with colby. jokes on you robby, i never though colby was tough. i agree that richard should go, however i feel like colby's motivation is homophobic, so actually i think he should stay. yes jerri, reject that alliance/vote. i love this shii ann and kathy alliance. FUCK YES bring jerry in the mix. richard, shii ann, kathy, and jerri? never thought i'd say this but dream alliance right there. kathy.....kathy please....don't ruin this for me. BOOOOOOOOO!!!!! i still have to deal with COLBY????? fuck you guys for getting my hopes up

yeah obviously doing a blinsdside would result in upset feelings kathy but sometimes you need to do them anyway. annoying. who gives a FUCK about LEX???? i forgot about how bug boston rob's ego is. i want shii ann to have a villian arc, and her origin story was colby making a snide comment at her. for sue's sake im glad richards gone because it was really fucked up. the victim blaming that happens with this show is crazy. i'm glad alicia is on her side. yeah im sure you're not sitting back because you suck or anything, ethan. lex they girls already had no compulsion to keep ethan and colby around, please stop patting yourself on the back. everyone being too callous about the whole situation is crazy. i agee with jenna in the splitting of the food. i take back everything i said, fuck kathy. its just the amount of "oh i know the guy and he would NEVER" blah blah.... and im sorry if something violates and humiliates you that much, then sometimes emotions come out, kathy. and its not pretty because its not suppose to be.

idk the jerri hate isn't sitting right with me... oh yay kathy got chosen to be safe...joy🙄. ethan's "some of us are heros and some of us are goats...and i'm a goat" has a completely different meaning now. colby not be annoying challenge failed. the way every cell, fiber, sinew, ligament, joint, nerve, and bone in my body LOATHES tom...if i have to see one more quirky music scene of him acting like a fucking idiot im beating jeff probst with my bare hands. actually lex there was an opportunity to get colby out last tribal, but that was jerri's idea so obvi we'll pretend that didn't happen because a woman came up with the idea. i love how petty jerri is. and yeah shii ann really should set aside her hatred for jerri and get out colby, which she won't because why would she make a move ever. she always talks about doing it but in the end she's just a floater. ethan is so dramatic no one gives a shit. "im sorry jerri to speak for you" "yeah please don't" that...is so funny. THE EVIL IS DEFEATED!!! fuck off colby NEVER come back. thank you shii ann, i take back what i said before and i hope you kick ass the rest of the season. also in defense of jerri, i have actually come around on her. she was right about the jerky, she was right about getting colby out. shes just RIGHT, not the most likable and a little annoying, but men get away with that shit all the time. case in point: ethan.

the men on the other tribe being so mad every time they lose to boston rob is so funny. idk....people making fun of rupert makes me sad. rupert's opinions about boston rob are so correct. i agree. serves boston rob right to miss horribly at the challenge. jerri don't feel too bad no one would have made those shots anyway. sometimes ethan is just so serial killer, i can see why him and lex are friends. why do the women of survivor always do this. they just trust mean implicitly. it makes no sense. "i just trust him, i don't know how to explain it" 🙄 bye ethan!! dont come back. i'm really liking shii ann as well. she's setting aside her personal opinions and seeing the bigger picture, which a lot of players don't do.

the ghandia slide of that book thing......distasteful. and now lex wolf whistling about a woman he doesn't even know. okay i know amber wins this season so im interested to see how she makes it out of this. because no way lex is like oh for sure rob i'll save your gf for a MAYBE alliance. again with this jerri hate. why can't we just vote out lex? i'm also SO SICK of lex being "in charge" and then telling people that thye're being voted out instead of just doing a blind side like hes the godfather or smth. i'll miss you jerri. why on earth does everyone think boston rob will keep his word? he literally doesn't. .......i hate tom. it's always rupert and the girlies. he refuses to play survivor unless he's got two women by his side. i wish men weren't the way they are tho.

exactly lex of course rob was gonna go back on his word. kathy......wtf. don't do that idiot. HA. thanks kathyyyyy. THE OTHER EVIL HAS BEEN DEFEATED!!!! as much as i hate him, i think lex is gonna make a funny juror.

god YES please get out big tom. ......cool rob is safe...😒 that foot shot of alicia was FOUL like back the fuck up. danm kath, i wish that worked out. shii ann is definitely going next. pagonging in an all stars season is so weak. please stir it up shii ann. i hope she gets immunity because.....its getting less interesting. when its just a majority alliance taking over and then going cannibal. i hope this challenge is a wake up call for alicia. and also i relate to her. i too would be emotional. jenna.....is annoying me. oh what a shock you're gonan give shii ann the bowl of rice, as if i didn't call that. rob is also really getting on my nerves. oh? only shii ann is obnoxious jenna? just herno one else here? miss oh im soooooo sorry alicia let me hug you even though we aren't friends and you don't want to be touched or talked to. alicia.....please just betray rob. fuck YES! shii ann got her first immunity. serves the tribe right for ousting her the way they are. its so rude. and the fact that not a single person will talk to her about game play at all is strange and telling. even though straying away from rob and aligning with shii ann is the better option for literally everyone but amber. "don't get too cocky sweetheart." honestly all of you can go fuck yourselves. 👆🏻you've been telling shii ann for days that shes leaving the first chance you guys get and are shocked when she doesn't really like you guys and tries like hell to win immunity, which everyone said "i'd be SHOCKED if she won that" assholes. she was gloating, alicia, because you guys say that she can't win anything and also SHE WAS GOING HOME TONIGHT. like....use your fucking brain. wow very original getting rid of alicia. can rob just leave already.

rupert didn't care about you not catching to fish jenna, he's upset because no one helped him gut and clean them, which all 120lbs of you could have handled. i will miss you shii ann. truly. and the truck curse still prevails. i......do not know how amber wins. and rob wins again 🙄. this game play.. consider me....bored. YYYYYYEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!! the final evil has been defeated. go fuck yourself tom if you EVER come back im personally castrating jeff probst.

jenna saying that she's taking fate into her hands by voting out rupert so they don't go to rocks when her literal only two options are vote the way shes being told or go to rocks. ........ i dislike you. oh rupert i wish you had won that immunity 🫤. jenna acting like she's gonna go to rocks....like we all know you're gonna write ruperts name and go to final three (which is as far as you'll go btw). thanks for nothing jenna. no closer to a million than if you actually let it up to chance. and the final immunity goes to rob😐. this romance is so barf. kathy.....that was brutal. i hope rob feels awful after that. "since you're so interchangeable" jenna pleasekjadkjasnkjsbf. tom just sounds fucking drunk all the time. they were absolutely ruthless. rob and amber look SO upset about it too.

cbs is just letting their star host hang out of a helicopter with harness? bold. rob dominated jeff 🤨. okay then. congrats amber! i don't care for your husband. the "you suck" in the audience while lex was talking was me actually. the booing for jerri is a little much jesus. and yet colby gets nothing but cheers? i know sexism when i see it. no seriously lex is being the biggest hypocrite there is. assholes. all the booing made jerri leave. justice for my girl. JENNA AND ETHAN??? girl.....say sike. youre dating him??????? oh so they get to go on a cruise after being voted off huh? thats pretty nice. the audience voting for another winner and i think kathy saying "its rupert!" very true. colby is a contender? 😐that the fuck were some of those sexiest survivors? ROBB??? the man who just finally understood what empathy was? the fuck. AND TOM IS A CONTENDER FOR THE MONEY???? thankfully rupert won because i would have flipped if it was any of the others. all in all this season was kind of disappointing considering it was all stars. it had its juicy moments but it got bogged down by all the people i don't like so I'm gonna give it....5.8 out of 10

[hetheysammy]

accurate depiction of me watching 12x6 celebrating the life of asa fox