#yes will is kind honest and generous but he's also a bit judgemental and sometimes his honesty is brutal and that's ok xx

[cringengl]

Underrated bitchy Will Byers moment: when a lady calls the party 'exterminators'

I love him sm😭😭😭

[mjsakurea]

On Guardian and Creativity (we could all use to be a little more handwavy sometimes)

I’ve been ruminating for some time on why I find the Guardian fandom one of the most creative ones I’ve been in during my long tenure on Tumblr and other fandom spaces. After much thought (and some encouragement on Discord *waves to everyone there*) I decided to write out my feelings in a little bit of an analytical essay meta. So, I will begin this reflection under the cut

But the TL;DR of it can be summarized in this meme:

So, Guardian. A fairly small fandom with  just over 4,000 English-language fics in the general tag on AO3 (as of October 2022). Although the show aired in 2018, I only started watching earlier this year and quickly fell into a deep hyperfixation. I devoured every fic I could get my hands on like Ye Zun devours his enemies (I know, bad joke, sorry). I can wholeheartedly say I have encountered some of the most creative fics I have ever had the honor of reading--fics I return to over and over and over again and new ones that completely blow me away. So, just how does one small fandom manage to contain so much creativity? I would like to point to some reoccurring fandom AO3 tags to explain why.

1) Handwavy-ness 👋

Let’s be honest here, the ending of the Guardian drama is painful, agonizing, brutal, all of the above. If anyone walked away from it without tears falling down their face they’re a stronger person than me. So, what can one do when canon throws you into the pit of despair and kicks you while you’re down? Look for fix-it fics of course! And oh boy does Guardian have plenty. The generic Fix-It tag has 308 fics in it, and the Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies tag has 137, undoubtedly with some overlap. But this is not what I want to focus on; I would like to draw your attention to some of the tags I have collected below:

[ID: a series of screenshots of AO3 tags that read in order, handwavy post-canon, (handwavy everybody lives), hand-wavey fixit, Handwavey Post Canon, assume a handwavy fix, But Hand-Wavy Fixed, (the handwavey fix-it version), (of the handwavy everybody lives kind), Hand wavy post canon happy ending, handwave-y post-canon, (just a bit of handwaving), handwaving the canon timeline, and handwaving canon events. End ID]

These are all just from the first 21 pages (aka 10%) when sorted by kudos, and some repeat multiple times within that. Sometimes you don’t want to have to do the work to fix the tangled mess of the ending, it is a lot of work! I have seen it done and it is insanely admirable, but it no doubt takes a lot of brain power that my two brain cells just cannot keep up with. So herein lies the Guardian fandom’s alternative--just handwave it! Nothing is stopping you from writing a post canon fic and just never explaining how we got here. All you need to know is that everyone is alive and happy. I have been in other fandoms where this technique would be questionable at best, but not here. There is such an overarching acceptance for this attitude of handwavy-ness and I think this is a large part of where the abundance of creativity comes from. But let’s also look at some more tags.

2) Dixing powers can do what they want

Although we can all laugh at how the show turned ghosts into mutant aliens with dark energy powers, I for one love this choice, the dark energy powers especially! They add a completely new avenue for creative freedom. The Dixingren powers in the show that come up during various cases are so random and contrived, there is no judgement whatsoever for making a character in a fic have the most random and contrived dark energy power either. We have a guy in canon whose power is literally “hardening the lower body” for goodness sake! On top of that, we have a main character who can learn any power he sees. ANY. Including the lower body hardening one if he so chooses to. The amount of options this gives fic writers? Unparalleled I tell you! You can give a Dixingren OC any power you want and make Shen Wei learn any power you want. Fic authors in this fandom have already taken full advantage of this! Cue part two of tags in the top 21 pages by kudos:

[ID: a series of screenshots of AO3 tags that read in order, Dixing powers do whatever I want them to, Dixing powers work how I want them to, Handwavy Dixing plot device, Dark energy does what I want it to, completely contrived Dixing plot devices, Dixing powers do what I want them to, dixing artifacts do what I want them to do, and weird dark energy powers. End ID]

I have seen similar handwavy logic applied to the Hallows in fics too, because they are also the most random and contrived things in existence, but I wasn’t able to encounter any tags for those, so I will not get into it here as much. 

In any case, already with just the freedom of handwavy-ness and Dixing powers, the Guardian fandom already has such a big playground to mess around in! It is absolutely no wonder why Guardian fandom creators are some of the most creative people out there. I am so happy to be a part of this amazing fandom and I hope it stays active for many more years to come. Current and future Guardian fandom friends, go forth and be as handwavy as you want! You have a permit to do so!

Thanks for reading

[dreamingsushi]

Till the End of the Moon - Overall Review

Hey there! It’s me once again and for the last time on the drama Till the End of the Moon. What ride it was right? Now that it’s over, I don’t feel any emptiness, it was in its ways satisfying, so for those of you wondering wether it’s worth the hype and your time, hopefully this review is going to help you decide. However, these are my personal opinions, some people might disagree with it, so please still use your own judgement.

Plot

The story is about an immortal girl who travels back to the past to prevent the becoming of a demon god who would wreck havoc on the world and cause the death of her loved ones. Even though it’s nothing super original as it follows the trope enemies to lovers, there are a lot of very good elements in the writing of the scenario. First of all, everything that is introduced (places, artifacts, objects, people...) serves a purpose and appears multiple times in the story. This was something I really liked. Sometimes a drama will introduce a magical item, for example, they will use it like for 2-3 episodes or even less and then it never comes back. Here, each object that has been brought on had more than one purpose. They explained the origins behind them. It was a very strong point to this story.

Furthermore, it was mostly consistent with the characters. Their decisions were obviously questionable, way too often, especially as the viewer knowing everything there’s to be known to judge if it’s a bad or a good decision. Sometimes, it was extremely frustrating, but if I have to be honest, there are only two things I am still very unsatisfied with. One being Susu getting drunk a night she’s supposed to hunt a demon, which really didn’t make sense to me since she’s not the type to overlook her duty. The other one being Ye Qingyu and resenting Tantai Jin, because it was an useless addition in my opinion since they didn’t really mention anything about it until the end, and it could have been overlooked. It wasn’t necessary.

Overall, the plot gets a bit 8/10 for me. It was very well written, there no big plot holes and everything was mostly very consistent. It loses a little bit of points because it wasn’t necessarily orignal and sometimes the characters were a little too frustrating.

Acting

At first, I really couldn’t stand Luo Yunxi’s acting. His character starts off as emotionless and something was bugging me about it. It felt kind of way too forced. However, as the character started to learn how to love, what’s happiness and sadness, I saw a big improvement. During the last episodes, while he’s being thorn between what he feels and what he must act like, he got me through a huge range of emotions. He did a very good job overall.

I liked in general Bai Lu’s acting, even thought it felt simpler. But maybe that’s what I liked. She didn’t show as much growth though compared to Luo Yunxi’s character and there were moment when I felt the script kind of went in a weird way when it came to her actions and reasonings. But overall, I enjoyed the different nuances between her three characters. She managed to make me cry, but also to warm up my heart. She did a good job.

I can’t completely just ignore the other great actors just because they weren’t main leads. I want to point out Chen Duling’s performance throughout the drama. She was amazing. Her character was very complex ad when it was time to hate her, I did. When i was time to forgive her, I did. She really impressed me. Su Zhenni’s performance was also great, even though she didn’t get as much spotlight. She was flawless. On the other hand, Deng Wei’s acting didn’t leave a big impression on me. It was better when he was acting as Xiao Lin, but there was something that felt a little weak, I don’t really know how to explain it. Eddy Geng did an okay job, I think his acting just lacks a little maturity for now.

One thing I really found annoying was all the shouting. I don’t put that on the acting skills of the actors, but rather more onto the director Every time they launched a big power, were in pain, they’d just scream... But like.. I guess I would shout from the pain too if I was struck multiple times by lightning, but most of the time it just didn’t work for me, it looked foolish and didn’t convey any emotions.

The general note for acting stands at 8/10 for me.

Visuals

So let’s just talk about what I disliked first to get it out of the way... The CGI. Oh god. When I first watched the first episode, I had a headache from everything flying around in my screen. Too much is like not enough, even worse. I thought it was going to be internet troll like, low budget. It turned out that the first episode was the worst of all and the on including the most of that crap. I think they had the budget for going all in, but it went overboard. At some other instances, they stroke back with the overwhelming special effects, but it was only for a short limited moment. It’s just a shame because the first episode is so bad that it doesn’t entice to keep watching without being very generous.

Now let’s move on to my favourite part... the costumes! Oh dear me... They were gorgeous. I was so fascinated by Li Susu’s headpieces all the time. She changed so many times, to the point that sometimes I couldn’t explain how could she change her outfit to something so luxurious in the middle of nowhere, but I don’t care. The structures on some of Tantai Jin’s capes too were very impressive. But generally speaking, all the costumes were great. Even the grass cape grew on me. That was a very strong point visually for me.

The filming places were beautiful too. The only moments I liked it less was when it was all constructed by the computer. In the space like universe. But the dark side. Anything related to the realm of the gods was beautiful. I loved the decors.

This drama could have rated higher in terms of visuals, but the CGI is really that bad, so I have no other choice but to give it a 7/10. The costumes really do bring up the ratings.

Soundtrack

I’m in love with the soundtrack. I keep humming it. At no point was it ill chosen, it always enhanced any scenes it was paired with. I don’t have much to say, just listen to the OST even if you opt out of watching the drama. It’s worth a solid 9/10 for me.

Should you watch it?

If you like a drama with no plot holes, go for it. Nothing is left behind. The acting is good overall. There are beautiful costumes. It was an interesting story. Even though it wasn’t the most original, it often left me wondering what was going to happen next. So I think it’s worth trying to overcome the big cringe of episode 1.

However, if you are not into romantic dramas, I would not recommend it to you as most of the story is focusing on the love between the two main characters. I wouldn’t say it’s what we should call a healthy relationship (as in many dramas...) so keep that into mind too when debating.

This overall gets a fat 8/10 for me. I enjoyed the ride and was happy with the ending, so going through the 40 episodes wasn’t a waste of time. Not on my rewatch list, but definitely on my no regrets, I recommend list.

List of full recaps

All / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21 / 22 / 23 / 24 / 25 / 26 / 27 / 28 / 29 / 30 / 31 / 32 / 33 / 34 / 35 / 36 / 37 / 38 / 39 / 40

[beomglocks]

what soobin is like as a boyfriend

warnings & other: none i just love him but let’s be honest who doesn’t, this gets cheesy in some parts bc he just gives off stereotypical kdrama bf vibes but guys he’s the one

w/c: round to 1k

ok first off 

sorry if i rant soobin is my baby so ofc i think he’s the perfect boyfriend

he’s so

ugh

ok when you meet him he’s a shy boy

like really won’t wanna look you in the eye

ok like super fucking awkward

like painfully and you’re like “hahah ok that’s cute”

that only applies if you look intimidating tho

if you’re one of those people who’s blessed with not having resting bitch face he’ll be flirty

well you know..

he has his own methods of being flirty

he’s charming in his own way

probably does what yeonjun does but more subtle

stares

will stare at you

and when you make eye contact he smiles and rubs his lip with his finger DJSJSKDK PLZ

alternatively: looks away, purses his lips with a smile, ears get red, looks back up to you already looking at him then he waves

youre left like

“omg he’s so fucking cute”

ok but actually like he will reel you in without you even knowing

next thing you know you’re laughing at his lame ass jokes

god forbid you think he’s funny

“you think I’m funny? well we should date” :)

wait im pretty sure he said he doesnt go after someone unless he knows they like him back

tbh he’d probably wait until you make the first move

or wait until you show interest or else he’ll just hide his feelings

you have to bring him out of his shell

once you do...oh boy

100% never leaving you alone

always telling you how much he loves you

he’s the sweetest

teeth rotting sweet

i feel like he would slowly open up to you during the relationship

he’s not like automatically into it if that makes sense

shy to initiate things at first

such as kissing and touching

asks you if it’s ok first

we love consent

free samples kind of guy

dont take him to an ice cream shop or shops in general

he will devour the free samples

next thing you know you’re leaving with goat cheese and the newest ice cream flavour

he gives hopeless romantic vibes

would want to bake with you in the kitchen

and i know this sounds cliche but

flour fight

he’s cute with it at first

just rubs some flour on your nose then next thing you know

“we turned our dog white”

he’s a simple man

however

he probably spoils you

but not like expensive item type of spoiling he isn’t extravagant

god forbid the price range of any of the items he buys you exceeds his actual paycheck

cute gifts that you’ll actually use and cherish

i dont see many fights happening with him tbh

maybe if you question his leadership choices then i can see a fight happening

for example if you think he couldve handled a situation better in a certain way and you point that out to him he’ll get all defensive

“im the leader of my group dont tell me what you think is best for my group”

then you’re just like “well shit fuck you too i was just tryna help”

i can see him distancing himself after a fight if you’re also feeling a bit aggitated

doesn’t talk to you until it’s literally 2am and neither of you are sleeping bc yall always cuddle and you’re not cuddling him

:(

he’s always the first one to say sorry

my god he makes fun of you so much

not on a beomgyu level though

more of a “if you say something silly i will make you feel so dumb for the rest of the day” kind of clowning

wow jealousy

i feel like he’s not super jealous unless he feels threatened

everything was fine until the fire nation attacked

once he sees you getting a little too buddy buddy with someone else he’s like nah i gotta shut this shit down

he’s humble but once he’s jealous he’s all braggy to make himself seem above who ever was trying to get at you

“yeah i think we ALL-”

boy do you have to comfort this big baby

he’s sensitive :(

hold him and rub his head on his off days

tell him he’s the best boy and it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks screw them

he laughs like 

“shouldnt i be comforting you?” 

soooooooooo sappy

cliche asf boyfriend

buys you flowers

if he could he would be doing the whole radio outside your window thing (side note: yeonjun would too be he’s whipped asf)

college bf (we saw it coming)

see also: college bf who helps you in what he can and tells you to screw math bc you don’t need it anyways

shows up at your school or job after his practice

everyone loves him

everyone

you gotta be on guard 24/7

i wouldnt say you’d be insecure per se but soobin definietly lacks awareness when it comes to being flirted with

he recognizes others advances but laughs awkwardly, forgetting to tell the person he already has a partner

~cue mild argument~

at the end of it all he’s like “dont worry i only like you jeez”

if he’s working on a song he asks for your input

or rather how would you interpret a certain emotion that he isn’t able to convey

just to joke around, if he has to write a song about heartbreak but neither of you have been through that he’ll be like

“well there’s a first for everything :)”

soobin 100% takes the time to learn about your culture

he’s invested what can i say

introducing you to the other members isn’t THAT bad

but they definitely clown soobin

txt: “how come your partner is cooler than our own leader”

“maybe they should lead us instead” (joke)

soobin’s like fuck yall i can be cool :(

always send you cute selfies

with messages along the lines of

“i miss you :((((”

“bring ice cream on your way back!”

“be safe tho xxx”

he gives embarassing dad vibes

you can’t introduce him to your friends !

since he has you around he isn’t too shy and once he engages in conversation you better pack your bags

he’s trying to be funny (keyword: trying) but really it’s just your friends laughing to not make the hot idol bf not feel bad

you help him with his script for music bank

speaking of music bank

yes, yes, you are clowning him like the rest of txt and he comes home like

“not you too :(((((((”

hueningkai

my goodness hueningkai

yall tussle over soobin’s attention

sometimes it feels like youre sharing soobin with kai

you love them both but youre like “kai sweetie it’s cold and i wanna be the one to cuddle my bf so please”

speaking of cuddles 

best cuddles

ones where he’s wearing a really comfortable sweater that’s actually nice material and your face gets buried in his chest 

his limbs will be tangled in yours no doubt

but wow he’s so warm you almost never wanna let go

they don’t call him “home” for nothing

tall boy

makes fun of you if you’re shorter than him

yes he does tease you by placing items on higher-than-you-can-reach shelves

kick his shins he’ll give in

you: ”hows the weather up there”

him: “nice actually but you wouldnt know now would you :)”

tell him your problems, tell him anything

he will listen

and i mean let-you-ramble-for-hours kind of listen

but at the end of it his input is always valuable and he isn’t judgemental

he’s a good listener and gives good advice!!!

he’s not the leader for no reason put some damn trust in him!

[cweetpea]

Law School Characters And Their Zodiac Signs

i’m not a professional astrologer and i read about zodiacs only as a hobby so the stuff i write may not be the most accurate but these are just my opinions and based on knowledge i have on zodiacs! but feel free to disagree respectfully, thank you :)

p.s. i used some stereotypical traits of the signs so please don’t get offended lmao

Han Joon Hwi - CAPRICORN

Protective and caring (overall, a gentleman to his friends and especially his girl. like how he changed seats to keep Sol A away from Lee Man Ho and how he is just so concerned every time something happens to our pretty Sol A)

Lots of integrity and strong moral principles (to the point he exposed his own uncle believing that his uncle should turn himself in for his wrongdoings)

Down-to-earth (free of pretension, humble and straight-forward)

Uses his knowledge and proficiency to get what he wants 

Behind the serious and aloof exterior, he is actually a big softie and someone you can turn to for help

Kang Sol A - ARIES

Determined and bold (just look at that interview she had with Yangcrates for the special admission exercise and how she takes stuff into her own hands)

Direct (not afraid to speak her mind)

Cheerful disposition and youth-like innocence (Sol A literals brightens up my life and makes me smile whenever I look at her, just like how she makes Joon Hwi do the same heheh)

Selfless (she is not one to show her selflessness overtly but the little things she does tells you a lot, for example, going all out to help with the Bad Fama case and basically things she does for Joon Hwi)

Optimistic (throughout the show, no matter what kind of challenges she is plagued with, she never complains/break down. like nothing can get her down really. remember when the test she did really well for was said to not be counted into their grades or something, she kind of fretted over it a little but then she told Yangcrates that she’ll be fine after awhile)

Yangcrates - AQUARIUS

Eccentric (he can be a little bit weird and have an unconventional and strange way of thinking and behaving)

Unpredictable (he never fails to surprise me and his students throughout the show and does stuff at the most unexpected times, for example, giving hints to Sol A on what resources she can use for Prof Kim’s Civil Law class and helping Yeseul as her public defender)

Sees right through everything (he just knows everything, from Sol B plagiarising to Assemblyman Ko’s hidden intentions)

Non-judgemental (never indulges in the weaknesses/negativities of others and sees things objectively, explaining why his students trust and favour him)

Old soul with a wise, emotionally detached attitude

Professor Kim - SAGITTARIUS

Fun loving and enthusiastic

Speaks the truth and fair-minded (she is honest with her opinions and even though she favours Seungjae, she does not try to defend his serious offence of cheating. she even pushed for permanent exclusion for his own good, was open about it and did not try to hide the fact that she requested for it)

Devoted and generous (look how devoted she is to her students, and even considered resigning to be Yeseul’s attorney)

Hot-headed (I can’t really remember instances of her hot-headedness but she sure looks like that aunt you would not want to mess with)

Kang Sol B - SCORPIO

I smell burning ambition

Headstrong and stubborn (she was so persistent on the fact that she did not plagiarise that I almost believed her had not Joon Hwi be the smoking gun)

Honest and blunt (ouch)

Aura of mystery and darkness around her

Pretty loyal (she is always with the gang even though sometimes I question whether she truly likes them lol. and she also helped Yeseul’s case by searching for precedents that could help, and it did)

Seo Jiho - VIRGO

Practical and logical

Dependable and reliable

Hard to decode actually and proves that he is a worthy challenge (even Joon Hwi agrees)

Stubborn (but in a good way, look at how he tried to seek justice for his father relentlessly despite Jin constantly deriding him)

Uptight as hell (like bro chill you have friends like Sol A and Joon Hwi. if i had friends like them i would LOVE life :)

Jeon Yeseul - PISCES

One of the purest characters in Law School with a good heart

Highly compassionate and empathetic (how she took pity for Yeong Chang and did not want to press charges)

Loyal (still called Joon Hwi ‘Oppa’ despite her bf being salty about it and not showing an ounce of jealousy when her friends all did better than her on a test)

Private and closed off (keeping her abusive relationship a secret and also, when the gang is together, she hardly talks sometimes and acts in ways that may sometimes be hard to read)

Min Bokgi - CANCER

Caring (shows care and concern for his friends, especially Yeseul)

Sulky (i do remember him sulking a lot more than the other characters)

Likes romance (openly shows his affection for Yeseul and he is the only one that shows reactions/interest in solhwi’s interactions)

Yoo Seung Jae - LIBRA

Sweet and chivalrous (the way he talks and treats others like Prof Kim assures me that chivalry is not dead)

Detached (he doesn’t seem that emotionally invested in the things happening around him, like he is there but not or maybe he is just caught up in his own problems)

Indecisive (i just ran out of traits to talk about but the fact that he went from medicine to law makes me think he is indecisive lol)

Jo Ye Beom - GEMINI

Talkative and chatty (pretty self-explanatory)

Two-faced (look how this kid betrayed his own friends)

Actually intelligent and bright not gonna lie

Nosy af (like stop trying to take notes from a study group you don’t belong to like damn)

[teyvattherapist]

A-Z for the oc asks (:

Help okay this is going to be so long it is under a cut.

A. Annoying: What is your OC’s most annoying trait?

Sandrone

Always monotone. Which, as his creator, I'm legally obligated to say I speak exactly like him about 80% of the time. Very dull, monotone, steady at all times. It's annoying! Or at least, I've been told. So, yeah. That.

Ohm

Puts his work first always. Those who know him only know a small smidge of the work he does and it would seem like there's no way in hell he has SO much work regarding that one section. But yeah, he's a workaholic who does just.. a lot.. behind the scenes.

B. Best: What is your OC’s best personality trait?

Sandrone

He's very observant! He can be dense regarding romantic stuff of course, but other things he's hella in the know. Sulien remembers or notices everything somebody he cares about says or does regarding things they like. So yes, he will always have your favourite takeout and snack ready before you even realise how sad you actually are. He knows.

Ohm

Like youngest like eldest I suppose. Ohm is also incredibly observant. Ohm is a bit more annoying with it because he will know you're injured even if you try to hide it. But beyond that, he's like a dog. You're sad? Cool let's go do something! Literally contradicts his above annoying trait but I mean, Ohm is weird as hell, he manages too many two faced traits. Anyways have a lollipop.

C. Child: Your OC encounters a crying, lost child. How do they react?

Sandrone

Ooh.. He's confused.. Sulien doesn't do well with people crying in general, let alone kids. He's had some practice with Tartaglia's little siblings, but that's not very much. He's kind of a yk criminal, so he'll probably bring the kid to the nearest location that looks like it'll be able to help them find their parents. He won't stick around for all that long, he's so awkward.

Ohm

He is on a fucking mission. Ohm is a doctor, he's a very good doctor, he's crouched down talking calmly within seconds. Always has lollipops on hand for this, and for himself, but mostly this. The kid's hand is in his while they're chewing away happily within moments. Then he'll find the parents, and they WILL get scolded on losing their child. Captain Ohm is not pleased ):<

D. Desire: Your OC has the opportunity to get the thing they desire most, but it means betraying a friend. Do they do it?

Sandrone

Yes. He does. A natural infiltrator, Sulien is known as a betrayer for a reason. Merely a job for the most part, a business transaction if you will. All relationships can be sacrificed in exchange of Freedom. He doesn't care. Sulien is tired, he has few friends as is, sometimes people need to go.

Ohm

No. Because betraying a friend for what he desires means to throw away everything he's ever signed his own life away for. Ohm can't do that, no matter how much he craves Death or Peace. One is obtainable if he makes a mistake and the other is unobtainable. He'll get there in the end without betraying somebody.

E. Excellent: Which of your OCs is the most virtuous?

This one will surprise people who don't as intimately know their stories. I mean come on, you have the Medical Captain of the Knights of Favonius vs a Fatui Harbinger, right? And yet, Sandrone is the more virtuous. Curious, isn't it?

F. Forgive: How good is your OC at apologizing? Do they own up to it when they’ve made a mistake? How easily does your OC forgive other people?

Sandrone

He's so condescending without meaning to be.. Mostly because the times he's apologised, it's been while arresting or killing somebody and he's saying sorry for betraying them. He makes an effort once he's realised he's hurt somebody he cares about, stumbles over his words, but he'll try. He always owns up to mistakes though, especially since he makes so few and he needs to be a good impression to his subordinates so THEY don't make any mistakes. It would depend on what they've done to him. He doesn't forgive nor does he forget sometimes.

Ohm

Very good! He's a fantastic liar :D! Ohm knows that sometimes to appease people, you have to do what you must, and he's a king with words for a reason. Another one who leads people and needs to show up as a good leader, Ohm always owns up to his mistakes. There are though.. Some things... In his personal life that he's only ever told two.. maybe three people.. Those mistakes.. They run so deep. Hurt too much. Ohm may be a very forgiving person, but he never forgets. Never.

G. Guilt: Does your OC often regret their decisions? If so, describe a decision they regret.

Sandrone

Conditioned to not feel, he ignores things like regret or guilt. He isn't programmed to feel them. He can't afford to. So it isn't often that he'll regret a decision. But when he does, he thinks about it forever. What he could have done better, what would have changed the outcome, he's supposed to be the best in his field at analyzing any given situation and yet.. Sulien just thinks too much sometimes.

Ohm

A lot of the things he has done he regrets, even if he deems them necessary to choices to make. I suppose Ohm is interesting like that, outwardly, he keeps going, keeps pushing forwards. Inwardly, it's a constant blizzard of guilt. I've always likened Ohm to a man damned, so his feelings about his decisions and the guilt he feels when he makes a bad one definitely fits into that.

H. Honesty: How often does your OC lie? Do they believe lying is ever justified? Describe a time your OC told a lie, or told the truth even when it was difficult.

Sandrone

His job is to lie. Head of Reconnaissance for the Tsaritsa, the puppet's function is to infiltrate what he needs to in order to gain the information he needs. Always adaptable, moldable, he's a liar at any given time. Even if he'd rather tell the truth, he never does, in Her name everything was justified. To tell a time he lied would be just looking at his work history. To tell a time he told the truth even when it hurt, would be more interesting. To compromise; in /almost/ all of his voicelines, he's actually telling the truth. Try and figure which are actually the lies..

Ohm

Ohm is clever, cunning, his personality handcrafted, perfectly put together piece by piece. Unlike his younger brother, Ohm is a natural liar. It comes easy to him, every honeyed word spoken from a tongue of silver. He has sins to hide and karma to beat back, if that means lying? Well. So be it. His most obvious lie that's revealed throughout his story quests would be that he's almost never on expedition to a nation for medicinal supplies, but rather he was infiltrating Snezhnaya to try and find his brother. A lie very few people knew the truth of, most notable being Varka, who gave his approval. Some hard truths are better off buried for Ohm Ambros.

I. Individuality: Is your OC’s morality more influenced by the society they live in, or their own critical thinking?

Sandrone

I mean... I'll just be honest, Sulien got tortured into utter compliance by way of forcing him to forget everything he ever knew. He's smart as hell, but if he has no frame of reference, then yeah... It's influenced by the people around him, his environment. Sulien is getting better about it though.

Ohm

His moral code is a roulette wheel and he's not sure where the bullet is. But hey, it's fine. Literally, I have nothing else to add. Ohm kills people, like, straight up disposes. But he's also a very nice man, so..

J. Jealousy: How often does your OC get jealous of other people? Do they keep their jealousy in check, or does it influence their behavior?

Both of them aren't very jealous people, one because Sandrone doesn't even fucking know he's jealous. And two, Ohm is just kinda dense unless someone is like.. uncomfortable, then he'll notice.

K. Knack: What is something your OC is skilled at?

Sandrone

Sulien's skill that I like to talk about the most is the fact he personally repairs his mask(and other things) with Kintsugi! It requires a lot of patience and technique and he is very good at it. Takes him forever though ngl.

Ohm

He loves his origami. He's very talented with it and can make pretty much anything. A lot of stuff he can do either one handed or without looking, but the more complex stuff he actually needs to concentrate on. He has a nasty habit of folding his briefing papers into cool little pieces.

L. Loathe: What qualities does your OC loathe in other people? Do they tend to be judgmental of others, even when it isn’t warranted?

Sandrone

He doesn't like super whiny people. It's just a personal pet peeve of his, he'd rather not. Like the whole high pitch "hmf!' kind of whiny? Yeah. Despises it. Otherwise Sulien isn't very judgemental! He's pretty respectful in general.

Ohm

Lmao Ohm is a hypocrite. He dislikes people who are reckless and put others in danger. He'll willingly put himself in danger, but not his team, which is the only real difference. It's weird, he's best friends with Kaeya and yet- ahem anyways. Call it the Doctor Vibe or w/e.

M. Mistake: Describe a time your OC did something bad, or was wrong about something.

Sandrone

War Criminal! Congratulations! He was behind the scenes making sure the sigils of permission were done correctly. I mean, he's a war criminal in general though. Personally, good dude. His work? Mm.. He's done things!

Ohm

I can't even be like "this dude killed two people when he was fourteen! that's bad!!" cause it was sort of warranted. I think, to Ohm, his biggest mistake would be "failing his parents' one task to him" which was to protect Sulien. And he failed to do that and lost Sulien for pretty much eleven years. It haunts him constantly.

N. Negative: What does your OC believe is their worst flaw?

Sandrone

Sulien has a bit of a thing where he hates how emotional he can get. He's been equated to machine so often that when he feels, he doesn't feel real. He dissociates and he hates that feeling. To him, it is his worst flaw. The puppet being emotional? What's the point? But he also doesn't know how to express his emotions in a healthy way, and I think it makes it all that much worse when he feels so strongly sometimes.

Ohm

Somebody who has a low outlook on themselves, there is very little Ohm likes. Though his inability to feel like he belongs or perhaps the karma attached to him would be the worst ones. To be haunted by demons, among other things, it is utterly ridiculous to him. And yet, here he is. How one can find comfort in somebody like him is just, beyond him.

O. Outlook: Is your OC more optimistic, pessimistic, or realistic? How likely are they to believe a bad person can change?

They are both Realists. To take a situation upfront and deal accordingly is who they both are at their core. Sandrone is more likely to believe somebody bad can become good, because /he/ wants to be good. Ohm is less likely to believe this, no matter how much he may want it to be true. But at the end of the day, products of environments that were so truly unkind, they are both realistic of the grim world around them.

P. Positive: What does your OC believe is their best personality trait?

Sandrone

For some odd reason, Sulien thinks how blunt he is at times is a good personality trait. I mean, like, I guess? He believes it at least. Sulien just thinks that being blunt is a good way of dealing with things without any communication problems or misunderstandings, and that's true to an extent.

Ohm

A man bound by contracts, it'd be how dutiful he is. Diligence is the name of his game, ultimately. He's been doing this since he was a child, he better be good at what he does, and he is. He always fulfills his duties, always does his role, always plays his part. His work is who he is.

Q. Quirk: Does your OC have any (minor) bad habits? If so, what? (Biting their nails, sleeping in, procrastinating, etc.)

Sandrone

Honestly most of his work takes place at night or the evenings, so he usually sleeps the day away. It isn't the best for a person, but he does what he must.

Ohm

Due to his insane alcohol tolerance, he definitely drinks way too much. But it never really hits him...? So he just kinda drinks those lil fruity drinks of his cause he likes the taste haha

R. Respect: What qualities does your OC admire in other people?

Sandrone

Honesty. He admires honesty the most. Sulien has been lied to a lot, had things taken away from him that nobody should ever have taken away. He just wants somebody who will tell him the truth, even if it hurts.

Ohm

Surprisingly, Ohm likes people who are resourceful, a little bit cunning maybe. He likes people who are useful to him, and being useful means being able to think fast on your feet.

S. Success: Describe a time your OC did something good, or was right when others were wrong.

Sandrone

Most of the time LMAO bye. Sulien functions on one perfected line of code. "Analyse the situation, filter what is appropriate, narrow the results, speak." He tells Pierro straight to his face that he's a better information gatherer because "the difference between your recruits and me lies within step three." He's not often wrong, the other Harbingers hate him for it.

Ohm

He does his best to do good things to make up for all of his bad karma. A doctor, a captain, an adeptus. He sacrifices his own vitality to heal others. I mean the list goes on. He tries, very hard, to make up for the things he's done.

T. Troubled: Which of your OCs is the most flawed?

They're both flawed in their own ways that I can't really compare them.

Sandrone was broken down into bits, had literally every sense of self or shred of dignity stolen from him, and then he was turned into a tool and used time and time again. That trauma will never go away, nor the problems or flaws that arise from it. Then you have Ohm, who was forced onto a path of bloodshed and slaughter in the name of Celestia. A pawn that has lost everything, everyone. Who failed, time and time again, and has to live with that, with himself. That also doesn't ever go away.

And I think to compare them would be unfair. Especially when the more they learn of each other's pain in their separation, the further they fall into that guilt and pain for their twin. They always blame themselves for what happened to the other.

U. Upgrade: Does your OC strive for self-improvement, or are they less concerned about becoming a better person?

Sandrone

He does what he can with the circumstances he's in, if that makes sense. There isn't a lot that Sulien can do to change himself or the things around him. But he tries to learn better life skills(like cooking) or pick up new hobbies and stuff like that. He really does try though.

Ohm

I don't think that Ohm sees the value of self-improvement. He knows he isn't a good person, and I think he knows, deep down, that he can't really change that.

V. Value: Is your OC more selfish or selfless? What would they sacrifice for a loved one? What would they sacrifice for a stranger?

Ooh they're so similar haha.

Sandrone

Selfless, he is always doing what other people want. His opinion always comes second. For a loved one? He will lay his life down. For a stranger? Well he'll do his very damn best if the situation calls for it.

Ohm

Selfless, following a set path laid out in the stars before him, he has no choice. Fate has called and he has answered, what he wants does not matter. But put his loved ones in the firing line? He'll die before they do, he can guarantee that, and he has the power to ensure that. An innocent stranger will receive very close to the same treatment, too.

W. Worst: What is your OC’s worst flaw?

Sandrone

He accidentally gaslights people a lot.. Like he lies to lie at times because he's so used to it? And if you've never been gaslit you are so lucky, its such an awful feeling. A lot of the time when he does it to people he cares about, he really doesn't even notice. And I think that's pretty much his worst one. I mean and he kills people but w/e.

Ohm

He's self destructive. It's such a big part of his character and just who he is and it shows a lot about who he actually is. Ohm can't stand what he's been pushed into doing and yet he continues to do it. He'd do anything to wash himself of these feelings and it leads to incredible self destructive behaviour. He also kills people but w/e.

X. X-ray: Does your OC believe that they’re a good person? Would you consider them a good person?

Sandrone

No, he doesn't believe he's a good person. I, as his creator, know that he's a genuinely good person put into a bad situation and forced to make bad choices to survive. He just doesn't see it that way, he can't, he's been conditioned to believe whatever they need him to believe to get him complacent.

Ohm

Also doesn't believe he's a good person. And I, as his creator, know that he's bad at his core, but he tries so hard to do good things. He wasn't given a chance, not really. He tries to make up for it, tries to cleanse his sins, but that blood never washes off..

Y. Young: How has your OC been influenced by their past? Are they a better person because of their past, or a worse one?

-looks into the camera-

The answer is the same for both of them. Heirs to a clan favoured by Celestia, paths set in fate, destinies controlled by stars. They are influenced by things even further than their own pasts. Sandrone was allowed to forget his past, forget who he is, and what he means. Is that good? Is that bad? Who knows. But when he did remember as a child, he was very much influenced by it. Then Ohm, well.. Past mistakes and failures are who he is, right? The last thing he remembers is his father's words too him regarding destiny and given how ingrained that is in their family line. Well..

The past means everything to them.

Z. Zealous: Does your OC have any guilty pleasures? If so, what? (Watching reality TV, drinking soda, reading cheesy romance novels, etc.)

Answered here

[princess-of-inarizaki]

Hi can i have a headcanon with miya osamu and atsumu when their s/o is autistic ? Ps: i love your writing

Hello luv!! I'm sorry I couldn't write this sooner. I had to do a bit of research because I wanted to do my very best for such an important prompt :D I really hope you'll enjoy this 💖💖 with that in mind, please tell me if something is not to your liking, or if I've gotten something wrong ^^

My inbox was also very full and I had to make my way to this request 😭💖✨👉👈

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sending me this and I love you so much!! Please stay safe, and take care!!

Atsumu

Very gentle! He thinks of you as his precious little angel, and he's always trying his best to make sure you're comfortable whenever you go somewhere new or different, or just anytime in general.

Always asks you if it's okay if he holds you or initiates physical contact. If you say yes, he scoops you in his arms and holds you tightly, pressing kisses on your forehead and nose! Of you say no, he completely understands, and will just remain close to you, whispering softly that he loves you.

Very proud of you! If someone dares say anything hurtful about you, you can just bet Atsumu is there to defend you right away, and give that person a piece of his mind. He can't stand other people being ignorant, and after trash talking them to the ground (without you being present, of course), he tells them to be more mindful towards other people.

He's mindful of your feelings. It's very important to our darling Tsumu that he's aware of how you're feeling, and what's okay and not okay for that time. If he thinks the crowds are getting too much for you, he'll gently steer you away to a less crowded area.

If it's too loud or noisy, you can just bet Atsumu is there to softly whisper “I love ya” in your ear and take you to a quieter place.

Admires how straightforward you are. Since Atsumu is a very honest person himself, you are the perfect pair since he never has to beat around the bush or disguise his intentions when it comes to you. It's all about healthy communication!

If you stim, he's smiling and thinking you look adorable. Waits till you calm down before ruffling your hair with a fond expression. “yer so cute” he whispers under his breath.

Finds it very informative if you begin talking about something you like! ( Special interests ) he might not always be listening 100% but he admires how dedicated and attentive you are to finding out as much as you can about the things that you're interested in. He understands it very well, since he's a volleyball player who's extremely passionate about his own sport.

Loves making you music playlists and gives you a pair of f/c (favourite colour) headphones on your birthday. You listen to his playlists, which not only calm you down, but also remind you how much he loves you through the lyrics.

Definitely shares a special song with you, and whenever either of you are going through something, or miss each other deeply, you play the song and smile.

Probably has a very cute nickname for you, and he loves calling you that (if you're okay with it), and telling his brother how "(nickname) is just the coolest person ever."

He also talks to all his teammates at msby, and friends about you, constantly telling them a new story, or just about the smallest things in general. They're all very sure he's so extremely whipped for you xD

Probably loves playing board games with you. Is very competitive, and appreciates it if you are too. Definitely make it a weekly thing to play board games together and even keep track of who wins more.

Winner gets cuddles ;D

I think despite everything, Atsumu really likes clothing, and will buy you clothes he thinks looks nice on you. It would make his day if you wore it somewhere, because he'll feel so proud to know you trust his style judgement.

The same way, he respects your opinion and even asks you questions often, because he loves hearing your point of view on things and taking it into account when he makes decisions.

All in all, 10/10, the most wholesome and precious boy you will ever find, next to his brother. (HC below)

Osamu

Sometimes, when you find a new topic of interest that gets you super excited, he smiles happily and listens to you attentively. It could be when he's making onigiri and you're sitting on the counter, talking with so much enthusiasm, he just falls deeper in love with you.

Makes food that fits your preferences! (Because I read that sometimes, it differs by colour, and sometimes if differs by flavour). He's always ready with a personalized bento box for you, made with so much love and affection, and you know food from him tastes like home, because he has you in mind when he makes it.

If you follow a routine, Osamu is the perfect man for you. He's very disciplined and tries his best to stick to a schedule just like you. Although they're different routines, you appreciate him understanding if you can't be somewhere, due to a certain routine you need to follow, and he doesn't just randomly have dates, taking the effort to plan and tell you in advance.

Appreciates how you find joy in the little things, and how curious you can get about things sometimes. He thinks it's adorable, when you have this face, when you're learning about something new, and his spirits are lifted when he's the first person you tell about it to. It makes him feel so special.

If you dislike crowds, Osamu is perfect for you (yet again). He definitely prefers to stay at home and watch a movie, or cook you dinner instead of going out to a restaurant, since he loves the comfort of his own home, and quietness when you spend time together.

You help him out at his onigiri shop, sometimes, happy to support your boyfriend. Since he knows you aren't good with social situations, he teaches you how to make the onigiri instead.

Since it's an important part of his shop, it shows that he really trusts you, and teaches you with care and patience until you've mastered it. The smile on your face after making it perfectly was enough for him.

When you two are apart, he sets a specific time to call you every day, and without fail, your phone rings at the designated time, and he greets you with a “hey babe, what're ya doing right now?”.

Likes going stargazing with you, and the both of you learn about the different constellations in the sky so that you can name them the next time you spot them.

Your parents adore him! I mean, he's polite, kind, soft-spoken, but most importantly, they can see that he genuinely loves you with all his being. The trust him completely and always joke around saying they can't wait till he becomes a part of the family officially.

If you have a younger sibling, they're definitely fond of him too. Osamu is amazing with children. He makes them pancakes whenever he visits, and loves reading them stories or watching shows with them.

Oh and much like Atsumu, Osamu is also very mindful and observant of you. He's always keeping check of how you're feeling and understanding boundaries and space, respecting you completely. If you feel uncomfortable, he apologizes immediately, and stops whatever he's doing.

Asks you before he does anything, like hug, kiss, or other forms of physical contact. (king of consent!!)

Radiates protective vibes! Without being overbearing or suffocating. He cares about you, but not so much that it becomes possessive or a problem.

Is just a genuine sweetheart, and would treat you like a queen/king. Wouldn't look at anyone else, and often says that he's “fallen in love with you”, with a small twinkle in his eye.

Thinks you're the most beautiful human he's ever met, not just on the outside, but the inside too.

Taglist: @k-sakusa-old @osamusriceballz

[nobodyfamousposts]

Runaway: Roommates AU

For @a-marlene-s​ and the contest, for the prompt: Runaway

A Harry Potter-based Miraculous Ladybug AU. With roommates.

_________________________________

Marinette was a big believer in luck. She came by it honestly, as there was something of a family belief regarding the unknown force that impacted their lives.

Her Uncle’s luck helped him work his way to becoming a world famous chef.

Her Mother’s luck led her to her husband.

Marinette’s luck gained her a strange roommate and his equally strange cat.

...If there really was a universal force directing fortune as her family believed, she had some questions for it.

It was just Marinette’s luck that the day she met Adrien, she was in the market for a new roommate. She had been sharing her flat for the last five years with her best friend, Alya, and they got along well. But Alya had a boyfriend and they had recently chosen to take the next step in their relationship and get a place together. Marinette understood, of course, but it still left her now as the sole resident of a flat that was outside of her budget and forced to choose to give it up or find some other way to make ends meet that wouldn’t involve giving up food and end up causing Alya and Tikki to stage an intervention.

The choice should be obvious, but Marinette loved her flat and was loathe to leave it. Sadly, she had only been able to afford it previously because she had shared expenses with Alya. On her own, it was more costly than she could afford and more room than she really needed.

But oh...what other place had an extended balcony that was perfect for a garden? Or such wide windows that were positioned to let in light but avoid the sun’s glare? Or had a built in desk and a space she could use as a crafting nook?

She was already having to say goodbye to Alya, she wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her home, too.

But it seemed that Luck pulled through for her, albeit in a rather...unusual way.

When the blond cinnamon roll appeared in her bakery, looking so lost and confused with no idea what to do or where to go, and nothing with him but a suitcase and an equally unhappy cat...she hadn’t known what to think of him.

Well, that’s not quite right. Her immediate thought had been to take the poor boy in and hug him until he stopped being sad.

Then he tried to pay for a single croissant with an overabundance of a strange type of coin. And it became clear that the man was very much not from around here. And had no idea how money worked.

Or how anything worked apparently, given his multitude of strange reactions to things.

Admittedly, she had been a bit hasty in her offer of letting him stay with her. After all, inviting a complete stranger to live with you was...generally not the brightest idea. If anything, it was usually the setup to a horror movie. But Marinette still went through with it anyway.

To this day, she still didn’t know what made her do it. Desperation, perhaps? Attributing it to her luck and not wanting to let an opportunity pass her? Or maybe it was the way something about him had drawn her in...

Regardless, he had no place to go. And she had a place he could use. It seemed like a mutually beneficial arrangement.

She just hadn’t realized just how lost Adrien was when they first met and introduced themselves to each other. Not until after he first moved in and it became abundantly clear how unfamiliar he was with...well...everything. It was no wonder he had been so overwhelmed when she first met him.

She couldn’t help but want to help him.

She just hadn’t realized what all that would entail...

____________

“Marinette! What is THAT?!”

“That’s the microwave.”

“WHY IS IT BEEPING? ARE WE GONNA DIE?”

“No, Adrien, it’s just popcorn.”

“What are these words?!”

“Do you really not have popcorn in the country?”

“Why is the bag big now? Is it magic? Are you magic? Because—”

She just shoved a couple of the popcorn pieces in his mouth at that.

_____________

"Wait, you mean you don't know how to use a washing machine?"

He shrunk in on himself. "No."

She blinked in surprise. She could have sworn…

“But...then how have you been washing your clothes?"

A long pause.

He simpered. “Can I choose not to answer that?"

She sighed. 

_____________

“Marinette! Your morning wake-up box is beeping. You need to get up.”

She mumbled and turned away from Adrien and the offending noise.

He frowned. “Marinette, it won’t turn off unless you do the thing.”

She pulled a pillow over her head and continued to ignore him.

Undeterred, he approached her bed. Against better judgement, he poked at her to get her attention.

“Mari—”

A hand suddenly made contact with his face. In an all too similar manner to how she would normally try to subdue the ringing wake-up box.

It would take two days worth of apologies and make up gifts of hot chocolate and pastries for him to forgive her.

_____________

She frowned, looking at an expanse of wall and empty space on one side of the den.

“That’s weird…didn’t we have something here before?”

Adrien stilled at that.

“No.” He answered tersely.

“I could swear there was something.”

“Nope.”

She tilted her head, thinking. “I thought this flat had a fireplace? Didn’t we use it sometimes?” She could have sworn...

“You must be imagining things.” Adrien told her, taking hold of her shoulders and trying to guide her to the couch on the other side. “There hasn’t been anything there since I moved in.”

“Oh. Maybe it was a shelf or something Alya took with her.”

“That must be it.”

“Hmm…maybe we could set up a television there…”

“Yeah, sure.” He replied automatically as he drew her away from the area.

So caught up in her thoughts, she never noticed the dirty glare Adrien shot towards the now blank wall.

_____________

She had thought the introduction to television would be the biggest thing.

And she was right.

“What is THAT?” He asked in wonder, staring in shock at rectangular box with moving images inside.

“It’s a television.” She explained, gesturing to the screen as Romero confessed his love to Julia in the Spanish soap opera her cable had somehow allowed her access to.

She bit back a laugh when Adrien attempted to touch the screen. “Are they stuck in there?”

Omg, he was so adorable.

“What? No! It’s…well…it can play sounds and images from somewhere else. Things that were pre-recorded and are replayed for entertainment.”

He perked up at that. “Like a radio?”

Okay, good. So wherever he was from, he wasn’t THAT far behind on technology. Only early 1920’s instead of the nineteenth century like she’d feared.

“Yes! It’s just people pretending.”

“Oh.” He sighed, still enraptured by the TV.

“Yeah, and there are all different types of shows and movies. Different genres and different styles.”

“Styles?” He asked, finally tearing his eyes from the television to look at her.

“Sure. There’s live action, CGI, animation—”

He blinked. “Animation?”

“Yeah, like cartoons and anime.” She frowned, considering. “Actually, I think there’s…what channel was it on again?” She used the remote to flip through channels until she reached one particular network that was currently playing some anime she vaguely recalled.

Adrien gasped, his eyes even wider than she had previously thought possible. And there was a particular shine to them as he stared at the TV like it was the holy grail. He barely noticed Marinette anymore, now standing in front of the TV and completely enthralled.

Marinette chuckled softly to herself as she lightly took his arm and pulled him back so they both sat back on the couch. Adrien let her, his gaze never straying from the screen as the teen magical girl protagonist transformed to fight the monster of the day.

That was the day Adrien was first introduced to anime.

It was also the day Marinette inadvertently created an otaku.

_____________

One day, he had called her in a panic while she had been at work.

“Adrien?! What’s going on?” She asked.

“It…this thing just came out and it’s crawling the floor! IT ATE PLAGG!”

She balked. “WHAT?”

“He tried to attack it and—wait. Plagg? You’re alive! What are you…NO WAIT PLAGG, NO!”

Marinette had practically thrown her apron to Tikki and rushed home. Within minutes, she had reached the flat and slammed the door open to what could only be chaos.

Or at least the sort of chaos that comes with Adrien huddled with his legs held up on the couch and glaring in betrayal as Plagg proudly sat atop the Roomba that was still making its way across the floor.

And…

Yeah, Marinette couldn’t.

She just couldn’t.

It took a good five minutes for her to stop laughing.

Adrien pouted the whole time, muttering about traitorous cats and roommates.

And Plagg continued to ride the Roomba. Looking for all purposes like a king, even when it knocked into the counter at one point and an empty can of Camembert fell on his head.

Marinette just laughed harder.

_____________

She had slowly been introducing Adrien to the world. Bit by bit. One lesson at a time. And with each day that passed, he seemed to become more comfortable with her and the world at large. And while he never said much about his life before, what he did say (and what he didn’t) was more than enough to paint a picture. One that Marinette didn’t like and made her silently swear to herself she would be having WORDS with his family if she ever met them.

But Adrien had been getting better. Happier. More outgoing as time passed. 

He had even gotten a job at the coffee shop as a barista. Which was kind of amazing, to be honest. He didn’t know anything about coffee, but he seemed skilled at mixing things. When she had asked, he made a comment about “potions” being his best class.

Funny guy. Though she wasn’t sure she understood the joke.

There was also just…something about him that seemed to draw people in. Whenever he was working the register (after he had finally learned how to work the machine and count money, and wasn’t THAT an experience in itself?), the number of customers seemed to grow exponentially compared to other days. It just didn’t make sense. Adrien just smiled and said it was part of his charm.

Another joke she didn’t understand.

Tikki seemed to get it though. Her friend was also a bit weird, but she and Adrien seemed to get along rather well. It was like they shared a bond of some sort.

To be honest, Marinette was a little jealous.

But she was happy for him. He was really growing over the months they spent together. Wherever he came from, it didn’t seem to be the healthiest place. Adrien certainly never wanted to talk about it, so the best she had to go on were his behaviors and conjecture.

He seemed happy, at any rate. He was able to leave the apartment now. He was making friends, and seemed to be getting rather popular even. He had a job—not that he seemed to need it given how much money he had…even if he had no idea how to use it.

Who tried to pay for a pastry in gold coins anyway?

Ah well. It didn’t matter.

Whatever happened, he was her weird roommate.

And she wouldn’t have him any other way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adrien liked his “roomie”. Marinette was…nice. She was patient and took the time to explain things when he didn’t understand. She didn’t yell at him for making a mess—which he did…often. She smelled like cookies.

And most importantly, she didn’t ask questions.

Oh sure, she gave him weird looks fairly regularly. And she was clearly confused by his lack of knowledge about things that were normal to her. But she never ridiculed him for it. If anything, she was teaching him, and he had to thank her for it—especially for anime. Because this? This was awesome!

She was the best roommate he could have asked for.

Even if she was a Muggle.

He shouldn’t be with her. Or here at all. How could things have possibly worked out this way? Or even half as well as they have?

Adrien Agreste was a Wizard. The son of Gabriel Agreste, a high-ranking official of the French Ministry and personal friend of the French Minister of Magic. He came from a long line of powerful Wizards and no blood pollution.

At least…not until his mother, whom had been a half-Veela.

Gabriel hadn’t known at the time when he chose to pursue her. And it remained questionable to this day whether it had been her Veela charm that had driven him to her in the first place. But he had been furious when he had realized it, and it was considered a dark mark on the family line.

Maybe that was why she was gone? It was certainly why Gabriel had kept Adrien isolated for most of his life. At least until Beauxbatons. But even there, things had been…stifling.

A private room. His classes carefully chosen for him. Personal tutors. And his interactions with other students were kept limited to avoid anyone falling under his charm. But even then, his heritage gave him an aura of some sort. One that made people in awe of him, but only further increased the distance between him and everyone else.

Sure, Chloe was there, and she had been his childhood friend, but the Minister’s daughter did not endear herself to anyone. And when it became known he was her friend, it hadn’t helped matters.

It was little wonder that a number of the other students avoided him.

Other than ones who wanted to use him.

Like Lila Rossi.

He hadn’t known what to think of the girl. She was popular enough, sure. But her stories rang false to him and she tended to treat people around her like helpers rather than friends. He knew from the start that there was something about her that was untrustworthy.

Lila…had an unusual interest in him. One he didn’t like. It made him uncomfortable.

And yet somehow, she wormed her way into his father’s good graces. So much so that of all people, Gabriel had decided to arrange a marriage for Adrien to her. Because of course it just made sense for the two to get together.

Not that Adrien’s opinion had ever been consulted on the matter.

Gabriel was nothing if not stubborn though. Once he had set his mind on something, that was it. Adrien had never won an argument against him. And he knew he wouldn’t win here either. Even when it was his own future on the line. Even when it was his life being decided for him.

So he ran.

It was quite possibly both the best and worst decision of his life.

He had been completely lost and overwhelmed at first. And almost immediately questioned his sanity. But he just couldn’t let himself back down on on this one. Sure, his father had always been somewhat overprotective of him and controlling of his life. And he had been fine with it. Mostly. Kind of. Not really.

But an arranged marriage was just…too much? He ended up gathering his more important belongings into his trunk and taking off with Plagg before he had even realized what he was doing.

Adrien had kicked himself afterwards. He had always given in to his father’s orders before and it turned out…well, not “fine”, but all right, at least. Surely…surely this wasn’t that big of a deal right? That his father was selecting his wife for him? That his future would be set in stone before he even really had a chance to figure it out for himself.

He was an adult now. Surely…he could choose what he wanted to do, right?

Well, he was an adult, sure, but he knew nothing about the world. And especially not the Muggle world, where he had escaped to in a rash bit of insight. Because surely his father would never think to look for him there? His father didn’t know anything about the Muggle world, after all.

Except then Adrien had realized all too late that he hadn’t even known anything about Muggles, either. His father wouldn’t let him take the Muggle Studies class, so he knew nothing about what they were like or how to fit in. He had money on him, of course, but what currency did Muggles use? How did he convert it? Where could he even look to for a place to stay?

Within two hours, he was regretting everything. He was debating giving in to his fate when Plagg had seemed to get an interest in something and ran off, resulting in a chase that led Adrien to a quaint little coffee shop.

If nothing else, he could take a break here and regain his bearings.

But…

Everything had smelled so wonderful. And the pastries looked heavenly. He had known it was a bad idea, but…well, maybe they could accept Galleons here?

How many Galleons were one of these pastries worth?

Well, a dozen should be enough, right?

The strange look that the girl gave him only made him want to duck his head in shame.

It wasn’t enough, was it?

But as if she was proficient in Occlumency and could tell exactly what he was thinking, she instead took him aside and talked to him. And despite himself, he told his story.

Well…half of it.

A third?

A little, at least. Just enough to give the basics of what she needed to know.

And it turned out to be enough, as she made him an offer he’d had to have been a fool to refuse.

That was how he ended up sharing a home with a Muggle. A sweet and strong woman whom, for all of their differences and completely separate worlds, he had felt closer to than anyone he had known in the Wizarding world.

She didn’t understand where he came from. And he certainly couldn’t tell her. Wizarding laws and secrecy and all. But she was still trying to help in her own way. And he could tell her…some things, at least. About his feelings. About his wants. Things he had never been able to tell his father. Things his father had never cared to listen to.

But she listened. And she cared. And she offered shelter. For him and Plagg, regardless of how much a of a pain the cat could be.

He had his own room, sure. But it was a quarter of the size of the old one and somehow all the better for it. While bare at first, the walls were eventually covered in silly posters from his favorite anime. The shelves were filled with books and toys, little knick knacks that actually made him happy to see. Some things Marinette helped him picked out. A lot of which were just things he saw and wanted. All sorts of things he had never been able to get back…there.

And he wasn’t stuck in the room either. He could leave it whenever he wanted. Spend time in the living room and watch the “television” and feed his growing love of anime (once he had gotten rid of the fireplace because he wasn’t about to risk someone trying to get in through the Floo Network, even by accident). Play “video games” with Marinette. Go on the balcony and enjoy the sun. Even just go out into the city whenever he wanted.

It was…a truly marvelous experience for someone who had been isolated for so long.

He even had a job now, working at the very shop where he had met Marinette. He knew nothing about coffee or the machines, but Potions was his best class and one he enjoyed. Mixing and cooking things to create something new was a rather amazing thing. And while coffee weren’t potions, he had come to realize that certain things he had learned in his class could translate over. A difference of heat and changing the length of time the coffee was allowed to roast resulted in a different flavor. Though he did have to fight for the position with another coworker by the name of Tikki, a friend of Marinette’s whom she introduced him to.

And that was the other thing…

“You’re a Wizard, aren’t you?”

He had admittedly not expected to run into anyone from the Wizarding world at all. But the short red-head with twinkling blue eyes caught him off guard completely.

Even as she smiled sadly at him.

“Marinette doesn’t know, does she?”

Dumbly, he could only shake his head in response.

He hadn’t wanted to be discovered. Not by anyone.

It turned out to be for the best though. Tikki was a huge help in getting him more acclimated. She explained to him more about fitting in as a Muggle. She even led him to the nearest Wizarding Bank where he was finally able to change his Galleons to the correct currency.

As a Witch herself, he knew she wouldn’t reveal him. And it was nice…having someone else who knew, even if she didn’t know the full story. She was still in touch with the Wizarding world and could help him. Giving him news or updates, point him to the nearest hidden shops for anything he might need. And yes, even laugh with him over his latest failures.

“It’s not funny!” He pouted as Tikki was practically howling after hearing the latest story about King Plagg the Roomba Rider.

“Yes, it is! YES, IT IS!”

“I even have video.” Marinette added cheerfully, much to Tikki’s pleasure as both women proceeded to look at her cellphone and chortle over the recording. Adrien was simply ignored and left to sulk.

He would never live it down.

It had been months like this, and some embarrassment aside, he had thoroughly enjoyed it. All of it.

He even enjoyed working. Though he admittedly felt a little guilty that his Veela charm seemed to draw in customers to the point where there would often be a pretty long ling just to order coffee. But Marinette and the other workers just laughed it off.

He was…really starting to consider this home.

The coffee shop. The city. The flat.

Tikki.

Plagg.

Marinette.

Rooming with Marinette was probably the best thing to happen to him. He had been trying new things. Learning so much he hadn’t known previously. Seeing things. Doing things.

Living.

It was...nice. It was home. It was everything he wanted in a home. Even if he was banned from activating anything besides the television when Marinette wasn’t there.

He was ever grateful that Plagg had led him to her.

[queenxxxsupreme]

Hi Kacey! I loved your Dad!Witcher’s daughters going on their first date oneshot! I’m very interested to see Jaskier’s reaction to Charlotte going on her first date. I bet he would be SUCH an overprotective daddy! 😋

A/N: This didn’t turn out as overprotective dad!Jaskier as I wanted, but it’s cute. Also this is the first thing I’ve written in three long and painful weeks so it’s probably not the best and I apologize

*** 

Jaskier sat in front of the fireplace, strumming his lute while you made dinner. He offered to help you, but you insisted on doing it yourself. You worked better alone in the kitchen. 

The door to Charlotte’s room creaked open quietly. A few moments later, you could hear her footsteps crossing the living room. 

“Mom?” She softly said. “How much longer do you think you’ll be with dinner?”

“I’m just about half way through. Maybe another half hour or so.” You looked over your shoulder to her. She bit at her bottom lip, looking to the window at the front of the house. Her brows were drawn together. “What’s on your mind, love?”

She shook her head softly. 

“I just need to talk to you about something.” She whispered, keeping her tone hushed. 

“Okay.” You looked over to Jaskier, who was pretending to not listen to you two. “Will you watch the soup while Lottie and I go to her room for a second, darling?” 

“Of course, dear heart.” He nodded, standing to his feet and putting his lute aside. “Is all well, Lottie?”

“Just fine, daddy.” She explained, smiling a little. 

You watched her turn and head to her room. You didn’t follow her immediately. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Jaskier asked, his voice breaking towards the end. Charlotte was always very open with the both of you. It was rare for her to ask to speak to you separately.  

“I doubt it, Jaskier.” You assured him, putting your hand on his arm. “Probably just a girl thing.”

Jaskier frowned. He wanted to be a very proactive father, so menstruation wasn’t a talk that Charlotte would really shy away from in front of him. Sure it wasn’t a very comfortable topic, but it wasn’t one that made her so tense. 

“Just don’t let your thoughts run wild, love.” You squeezed his arm and kissed his cheek before going to Charlotte’s room. 

***

She was sitting at her vanity staring into the mirror when you stepped into the room. 

“Is everything okay, Lottie?”

“I-I think…. The butcher’s son, Marek…. He’s asked me to accompany him to dinner this evening.” Charlotte kept her voice low. 

A smile crept on to your lips. You knew Marek’s family. They were good people, kind and generous. 

“Is that what’s got you so nervous?”

“Yes. Well, sort of.” Charlotte looked down. “What will dad say?” 

You bit your bottom lip for a moment, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. 

Jaskier was fiercely protective of his daughter. He loved her more than anything else in the world. He’d move mountains for her. 

“Do you like this boy?”

“I do, mom. I like him a lot.”

You moved to stand directly behind her chair, your hands finding her shoulders. 

“He loves you, Charlotte.” You kissed the back of her head. “And he trusts your judgement. Be honest with him. Tell him that he’s asked you to dinner. He might be a little upset that the boy hasn’t asked him about it, but just be honest with your father, Lottie.”

She nodded her head gently. 

“Could you ask him to come in here?”

You gave her a smile and nod. 

***

Jaskier closed the door to Charlotte’s room behind himself, letting out a little breath as he silently told himself that there was no need to get so worked up already. You didn’t look worried. You didn’t look upset. There was no need for him to be so anxious. 

“Hi, daddy.” Charlotte smiled, though Jaskier could tell she was nervous. She didn’t meet his gaze and she messed with a ruffle in her skirt. “Can you plait my hair for me? You do it so much better than mom.”

Jaskier grinned pridefully and moved to stand behind her. 

He started to comb his fingers through Charlotte’s locks, humming to fill the silence. 

Charlotte let him start the braid at the top of her head before she brought up what she wanted to tell him. 

“Erm…. So…. Daddy? You know…. There was a, um…. I was asked to dinner at a-a friend’s this evening.”

“This evening?”

Charlotte nodded.

“What did your mother say about it? She’s already made dinner.”

“She was okay with it.”

Jaskier fell silent. Something didn’t sound right. Why was Charlotte so nervous and fidgety if a friend had just asked her to dinner? And if it was a friend, why hadn’t she said that friend’s name?

The bard lifted his eyes to meet Charlotte’s eyes in the mirror. 

“Who is this friend, Lottie?” He asked quietly.

She held his gaze, still biting her lip. 

“Marek. The, er, The butcher’s son.”

Jaskier raised his brows. 

“Really? A boy? He asked you to dinner? And he didn’t ask me?”

“Daddy-,”

“Oh, darling, I’ll have to have a long chat with him later on about how that is not very appropriate. But for now, I suppose it'll do. I know Antoni and Rosaline raised him better than that.”

Charlotte turned around in her seat to look up at Jaskier. 

“You aren’t mad?”

“Mad?” Jaskier furrowed his brows. “Dear heart, we know the family. It isn’t that big of a deal. Yes, I am a little upset that he isn’t being the proper gentleman, but if he’d like to court you I’ll ensure he does it the proper way. Just because your mother and I know his parents doesn’t mean he’ll get away with this behavior.”

Charlotte shot up out of her seat and threw her arms around Jaskier’s neck. 

“Thank you, daddy.”

“I’m a little hurt that you were so nervous that I would be mad.” He admitted, rubbed her back for a second before pulling her in tightly. 

“I just…. Just didn’t want you to be upset that he didn’t ask you first. And I know that you can sometimes….. be a little overprotective.”

“That’s because you are my little girl and I love you.” He kissed the top of her head. “Now sit back down so I can finish your hair. Wouldn’t want you to be late to dinner.”

Taglist: @pressedinthepages @mishafaye @whitewolfandthefox @wolfyland07 @belalugosisdead @persephonehemingway @keira-hulmaster @dinonuggs69 @greatestauthorofmygeneration @shadow-hunters-lover @dancingwith-thesunflowers @tedi-fach-las @thecomfortofoldstorries @raspberrydreamclouds @natkowaa @disasteren @weathervanes-my-oneandlonely @onlyhenrys @wackylurker @criminaly-supernatural @magpie343 @permanently-exhausted-witcher @hina-chans-stuff @the-space-between-heartbeats @havenoffandoms @carriebee1 @ger-bearofrivia @naominami @writingawaymylife @reaganjenelle @theawkwardpedestrian @scarlettwitcher @badassspaceprincess @just-a-sad-donut @summersong69 @an--actual--human--disaster @rubyqueen819 @omgkatinka @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @vonxcon @mazakeen @bravelittlesunflower @thereagles @awkward-turtles-world @menalliha @cotton_mo @maan24 @thefirelordm @monkeymo @krenee1drful @nympha-door-a @unadulteratedtreecrusade @Aquarius-pisces-rose @mentallyscreamingsincebirth @fl0ating @sometimesiwrite @you-fxcking-wish-bish @thanks-bruh-for-nothing @maan2442

If your name is in italics, it wouldn’t let me tag you  :(

[aboutlouishofmann]

White Lies Magazine Interview with Louis Hofmann

How long are you in England for? I'm currently staying for six weeks, but I've already been here for five and a half so I'm only here for a couple more days before heading back to Germany for rehearsals for my next film.

Really, or did they kick you out because of Brexit ? 

No they didn't (laughs) - and luckily there are no real changes until December so I can get in and out without a problem. I'm not exactly sure what will change for Germans anyway, if there are new regulations or if it will be the same in terms of travelling. It's gonna be really crappy for basically everyone leaving the UK - if you consider that someone who has a band for example and plays a tour around Europe will need to pay or be passport-controlled with their equipment every time they cross borders. It might not matter for a big band like Coldplay but small bands will have a lot of trouble with that.

Actually Coldplay has suspended their tours until they can find a way to make them sustainable.

I know and I think that is amazing! 

How are you with environmentalism, are you active? 

I wish I was more active to be honest, because I have a platform on Instagram which I could use a bit more - I'm just always quite scared when it comes to posting because I know that so many people then talk about it and judge me for what I have posted. l don't have an issue with taking a political side on an I think fairly easy topic to take sides on when it comes to the environment. But then again it's this general thing of posting something and l know 400.000 people will look at it or make up their mind about it - have an opinion and voice it. It's just something that scares me, so that is holding me back a bit but I'm trying a bit more. 

Understood. But isn't it the same with doing a movie or starring in a TV series, you put it out there and everyone is going to judge you ? Even more people than just your followers as a matter of fact.

Of course. But that's my job. That's what I love to do, that's what I've chosen to do. I have not chosen to be someone who is followed by 400.000 people on Instagram, that sort of just happened. 

It's a side effect. 

It is and I am grateful for it but it also scares me (laughs). 

That makes sense. But do you even realise how famous you are? I remember I walked into someone's house in Korea last year and they were watching "Dark" that very moment, all fans of yours. 

I don't think I get it. No, I don't quite get it. When I talk to casting directors about my value on the English language market they will eventually tell me that it's not as profound as they want it to be to play a main role in an English language feature film. You have to separate between being known from something and being so known for quality that you have international value - having sort of a critical acclaim and value in different countries. I don't think I'm there yet and would only consider myself famous, which is already weird to discuss and acknowledge out loud. For now, to be fair, I'm just the guy from "Dark". 

It did reach a bit of an iconic status though, also your character. Everyone is going to remember you for that yellow raincoat.

I hope they won't only remember me for only that (laughs). 

Do you wear a yellow raincoat in private ?

No, there is no opportunity for me anymore to wear a yellow raincoat. It's not possible. But let's get back once more to environmentalism. One thing is stating your opinion on social media but the other thing is when it comes to acting myself, to change my daily life to help the environment. I would say I'm quite conscious about it and avoid flying and consuming local produce. Focus on quality and try to not waste products. 

Who is inspiring you?

Leonardo Dicaprio for example. But I don't know if he necessarily acts himself that way, but he does something about speaking out about it - using his figure and position as an activist to talk about it. I quite like that.

He is doing one thing I could personally not do however. Speaking out for something and then doing the opposite in his private life. And that judgement is what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of getting perceived as a hypocrite. But then again being perceived as that in terms of climate change doesn't really help because it needs to be spoken about and maybe you do not do as much as you talk about it. But at least you raise awareness and take even just a small part.

I absolutely agree. I think we need to re-think that whole concept of hypocrisy in this thing because if he reaches a couple of million people and they are changing something about it - even if he is doing the opposite - he is still doing a lot of good with it. Even though he is a hypocrite I think we need to redefine what it means - at the end of the day we will all be hypocrites because no one is really going to be able to live completely sustainably, we can't think in those absolute terms too much. Everyone needs to start with one thing - picking their battles. Focus on plastic for example, we may get better at disposing of it while still being bad in terms of traveling for example, but that is okay, we can only do one thing at a time. 

Don't you think it's crazy that in relation to something like the coronavirus pandemic, pressing and tangible as it affects us now - everybody is afraid, everyone acts, the government acts and everyone is doing their part. Then there is climate change which is more intangible because it's still far away and people don't really care about it - I think this is a problem. Why only act about something that only affects yourself? It's quite selfish and stands for a lot more than only this. 

That's it. We went really deep pretty quick didn't we? The most pressing question however is - how often do you cry watching movies ? 

I do like to cry when I watch films, because I think I'm quite empathetic so I can relate to the characters a lot. I don't often do it but I really do not mind - it means I'm involved in the story. I like crying in movies. Therefore I know it has touched me somehow.

I have a weird relationship to crying in movies, I like doing it but there is a certain place where I cry much more easily - on planes. It's quite strange actually but I get very emotional when I'm up in the air.

That's good, I guess? Have you seen the film "Click"? It's not the greatest film out there, it's with Adam Sandler. But there is a scene in the end where he (spoiler alert) dies. There is a remote with which he can forward his life and he fasts forward to the moment when he dies. It's very dramatic, tragic - almost pathetic and still I started crying because I imagined that happening to me and felt so sad (laughs). 

This is going to be the headline: Louis Hofmann, the guy who cries at Adam Sandler movies.

I can imagine you being the guy who would make a head- line like this. 

Have you ever died in a movie?

[START OF SPOILER]

Yes, I've died in "Alone in Berlin" and also in "Prélude", where my character hangs himself in the end. 

How was that for you?

I was not very attached to myself at that moment. I mean eventually it gets cut out. So the moment I actually die they cut off and it turns black. I still enacted the scenes but it was weird, it was more of a physical thing than an emotional one when I acted it. It's just sometimes with very physical scenes - the dynamic approach and action can be so mentally and intellectually exhausting that there is not much room left for emotional attachment. It didn't feel I was dying myself. It did hurt though, I had the rope around my neck.

[END OF SPOILER]

Good one. Do you believe in fairytales?

No I don't. But I do like "Bojack Horseman" though because it seems so dumb first but turns so philosophical. 

In general, what is happiness to you?

I don't know what it means to me but I know when l feel happy - that's when I'm grounded, when I'm self-assured and when I feel like I'm really being myself. When I reach that state I feel happiness. Sharing that happiness with someone is what's most important. Happiness is truly being yourself.

Very profound answer. How is your work- life balance, are you always working?

I think it's quite okay. The only thing I kind of need to improve is that - when I work I work 100% and I tend to think about the year in little phases. I work then I'm free, then I work then I'm free. And I always only take really care of myself in the times when I have spare time. When I work my health and my hobbies - I just do not look at that. It's all about the work. I want to get somewhere where I can balance those things better.

The thing I really wanted to touch base with you on was the future of movies. We are talking about technology, virtual reality, 3D. Would you like to do some work in 3D?

I would only like to do something in 3D if the new technology elevates the film to another level and makes sense story-wise. I'm not a fan of it only if it looks good. If it helps the story to evolve into something bigger then it's okay. I'm an admirer of that old cinema look, of that really organic taste of a film. I don't know if I would like to act in a VR film. What I don't like about new technologies is that the acting itself and the characters and craft are kind-of left behind. In the foreground it's only the technique, the focus is too much on the visual aspects rather than the screencraft.

I totally understand what you're saying - but if you think about it this way now - people probably said the same thing about colour films in times of black/white films because colours took away the attention from the acting. I think it's about what we are used to. If we say in a couple of years it's normal to consume everything in 3D and VR, do we still think about that?

I mean it surely is incredible what they have achieved and still continue to achieve with 3D and VR. Remarkable how they portray an illusion and tell a story in such a unique and involving way. I'm just always afraid that if you want to tell a character based story with that technique, the characters and the acting will be left behind due to the sheer amount of attention the technical stuff needs from the cast and the team. But of course it's fascinating and intriguing. And since we sort of got used to seeing films in 3D, maybe that's also gonna happen to VR.

How do you think we will consume movies and series in 20 years or how does acting actually change? Looking at "Death Stranding", a video game by Hideo Koji-ma that stars an impressive cast with Mads Mikkelsen, Lea Seydoux and Norman Reedus, to name but a few. They are in this game as actors through 3D scanning. Imagine this fast-forwarded 20 years.

I really hope that traditional acting doesn't die. I don't know - in 30 years I'll probably think differently but right now I think you can not replace something natural with something computer-generated. If the technology evolves, maybe it will be possible.

Anyway, how does it feel like to see yourself in a sex scene?

(laughs) I've always said I separate myself from the character when I watch my films. It's the character who gets naked and has sex, it's not me. It's just when you are around people who you know personally, it might get awkward, for example with my mom. You just have to evaluate if nudity and sex is necessary for the story and the character - if it is, it's not tough to watch.

It's a powerful meditation on how to detach yourself from something, isn't it?

For sure, it doesn't always work though.

[loquenomedices]

ship it or rip it - elite edition

thanks for bringing the concept and tagging me @b-bachman!! (instructions here) and providing a much more fun use of my time than listening to my online classes

this is long af so if you wanna know my opinions on three randomly generated ships, keep reading. but you’ve been warned.

1. carla/guzmán (@ everyone i know who likes them, probably skip this part.)

god no. just, absolutely not. i can’t even express how much i hate this idea and how i will forever be grateful that didn’t happen on the show. carla/guzmán might as well be the most obvious and predictable ship that they could do, popular but not *extremely* bitchy ice queen with the golden boy jerk who actually has a heart of gold if you dig like 78 layers under the surface. (no.) 

aside from me just hating the concept (because i can acknowledge that ester and miguel would probably have good chemistry), if we look at it from the character viewpoint, they just don’t work. i’ll often contrast with guzmán/lu, who, in some way, have potential as a pairing (unlike these two). carla hates being told what to do, whereas guzmán’s entire life purpose is to meddle in and judge every single one of his friends’ decisions. unlike lu, carla isn’t even a little bit attracted to that kind of controlling nature, mostly because she likes to control people herself. however, guzmán isn’t the kind of “fun” opponent who is challenging or different in some way (you know who i’m talking about); he’s just the opponent whose cockiness with a hint of chauvinism would probably make her commit a completely unaccidental murder sooner than polo could say trophy. 

also, lu enjoys confrontation and theatrics, which is why she can put up with guzmán and the explosive fights. she seeks out arguments and conflict. carla and guzmán would be just as toxic and prone to crash as guzmán with lu, though for different reasons. guzmán is much more conservative, elitist and judgemental than carla (another reason why guzmán and lu can work - they have that in common). but carla, unlike lu, hates loud confrontation and when people (including herself) lose their cool. their fights would be torture for both sides - carla trying to keep it cool, guzmán yelling and getting even more frustrated that carla’s not reacting in the way he wants. her probably actually snapping at some point. guzmán’s second name is anger issues. need i say more?

my last point is, carla’s literally bored of her pre-lined life in the first episode of the first season. if she’s bored of polo, who she can wrap around her finger with his pretty unconditional love, guzmán with his antics would 100% not be worth it. there’s not a more stereotypical “rich” character than guzmán, and carla’s sick of the golden cage and especially the people in it. 

i prefer carla/polo over carla/guzmán any day, and if that isn’t telling enough, i don’t know what is. 

rip it, shred it to pieces, burn it <3

(carla/guzmán hate zone over)

2. ander/guzmán

well now that’s certainly more intriguing. guzmán and ander’s friendship is.. something else. if we look away from the fact that guzmán is 120% straight (in my opinion), we have some interesting material to explore.

ander is extremely closed off and guzmán is extremely pushy. now, this would obviously cause issues, but unlike in other relationships that guzmán has, ander doesn’t let guzmán tell him what to do and stands by his opinions (he always talked to the poor kids despite guzmán’s dislike). sometimes, he even manages to get through to guzmán, probably because the times he speaks are so extremely rare that whenever he does, it captures everyone’s attention. so, at least in terms of equality, this ship isn’t doomed.

they are probably doomed, just like their friendship, in the way that their personalities are polar opposites. ander never tells anyone ANYTHING, which guzmán absolutely hates. but in some strange way, guzmán could *kinda* view that as compelling; probably if they didn't know each other and he tried to pursue him (yes, my imagination is going wild.) that’s how it started with nadia. on the show, guzmán is extremely protective with ander, and always tries to find out what’s going on and support him. i’m not saying it’s a great technique and it doesn’t work most of the times on the show, but in the end, people who bottle up their emotions sometimes need this exact thing to be done to them, so that they’ll finally open up.

would they work long-term? probably (99%) not. but they could try.

i could ship them with the right story

3. rebeka/nadia

fun! their s2 friendship was cute. again, they’re polar opposites, but only on the outside. personality-wise, they’re actually pretty similar (they’re both really honest, which is a great base, and even their senses of humour work together as seen in s2), except rebeka is way more chill. which would be good for the relationship - somebody needs to calm down the waters (or something). bring a stressed out nadia a cup of tea. neither of them are big fans of rich people, so that works in their favour as well. rebeka would be the one to help nadia get out of her shell, and nadia would repay her with sincerity and loyalty.

they had a good friendship, so if a more open-minded and bi nadia was a thing?

ship it

[charmed-henry]

Shark Bait Oo Ha Ha | Heric

Previously on Baywatch... 

Baby There’s a Shark in the Water

Date: 20 May 2021 TW: None, other than some discussion of the attack

@maritimeericandersen

Henry and Eric make a plan.

HENRY

If only Eric were here. That was what Henry kept thinking throughout the attack. Eric would know what to do. And a part of Henry resented that, just a little bit, because this was such a clear example of why the Order needed him… but there was no time to dwell on that. People were avoiding the lake, sure, but they wouldn’t forever. Even with this creature undoubtedly lurking below the surface. Henry needed Eric on this, and fast.

Henry texted Eric to meet him by the gryphon statue after his last class, and he was relieved when Eric did show up. He didn’t waste any time with pleasantries. “You heard about what happened, right?” 

ERIC

Eric had not heard anything, actually. Like a man avoiding spoilers of the world cup he had gotten through without hearing a word about what had happened up at the lake. It hadn’t reached him during work or class or while he was walking around campus— probably due to his thick skull and lack of his own surroundings. 

So he didn’t really think anything of it when Henry texted. It seemed like a normal enough message with nothing to kick up a fuss about. He walked down from his dorm ten minutes from when Henry said he’d be finished and stood beside the statue, thankful for the sun despite the breeze that still held a chill. Eric looked up periodically from his phone and when Henry finally appeared he smiled, only for it to turn into a confused frown at Henry’s opener. 

“Er— no?” He shook his head, shifting his stance to a more alert position. What happened could have meant anything, good or bad. “What’d’ya mean?” 

HENRY

Henry groaned. He knew Eric was taking a break from the Order, and Henry respected that, in a sense, but to not have heard anything at all? What could possibly be so all-consuming in his life that--

Never mind. Henry knew it was the same sort of thing he used to get in trouble for during training, and part of how they became friends. Being daydreamers. What was important right now was to catch Eric up, not berate him.

“At the lake. Candace was attacked. By some sort of sea creature. She’s, er-- she’s okay now, but we didn’t catch the creature that did it, and it might still be lurking there. Waiting for its next victim. I need your help, Eric. I know you’ve… stepped back from the Order, but this sort of thing is exactly why I’ve been sent here. And I need your help,” Henry explained, desperation shining in his eyes. “We need to find out what that was. Until we do, the lake won’t be safe for anyone.”

ERIC

Now that was not what he had been expecting to come out of Henry’s mouth. At best, that he had proposed to his bird or something, at worst, that the Order had found out he was alive and was coming to actually kill him. 

But an actual ocean dweller? Here? In Swynlake? Eric knew he had come looking for answers, for a mermaid to give those to him, but he hadn’t actually been counting on finding one this far inland— let alone one bold enough to attack. They had to have known it would put a target on their back. 

“I’m glad she’s okay— thanks to you, I presume.” (Even though Henry had said we, but he was taking that to mean a general term for the people of Swynlake, not any one specific person.) He let out a breath, a hand coming up to brush over his mouth as he took a moment to think. 

“Of course, of course, yeah. Anything you need, mate.” Eric hadn’t done this in well over a year but he couldn’t imagine denying Henry. And this was the opportunity he had been looking for when he came here. If he could just talk to this thing, maybe all of this will have been worth it. “Did you get a look at it? Or Candace— did it try to drown her or was there an actual wound?” 

HENRY

Henry let out a sigh of relief. Even though he trusted Eric to have his back, sometimes he just felt like he didn’t know what Eric would do anymore. He had a whole life here, new friends and school and a new purpose-- and Henry did, too, in some ways, but at least he stayed on the lookout for opportunities to prove himself to the Order. He wasn’t sure if Eric cared as much as he did.

But no matter what, they would always be like brothers. And they would always be there for each other. Henry was sure of that, and he felt a bit silly for doubting. 

Then he remembered the scene and winced. It was painful to relive, to be honest. “Er… yes, it bit her in the leg. Seemed to be trying to drag her underwater, but Rose and I were able to fight it off.” Wait. Did Eric know about Rose? Was it okay to tell him about the Huntsclan? “She’s okay now. Got her in an ambulance right away and it ended up being not too deep of a wound. But I worry about what would happen if we hadn’t been there. And the lifeguard was absolutely useless.”

ERIC

Eric did not know about Rose, but Eric also didn’t know that Rose knew about them. Within the context of Henry’s story, he assumed she was just there willing to help out a friend in some serious distress and paid that detail little to no mind. He nodded along, eyebrows raising briefly at the mention of the lifeguard and huffed— sounded about right. Wasn’t like a magic friendly place like this was going to think to train their staff on things like this. They would just issue an apology after the fact and move on. 

“Then we’re probably not dealing with a siren.” They let their voice and the victim themselves do all the heavy lifting. It felt odd to be back in this mindset. He had not thought about hunting or training in well over a year and he didn’t know what it meant by how easy it was to return to this part of him. Eric hadn’t expected that it would have left him so quickly, it had been apart of his life longer than it hadn’t been, but still. Would he even be able to carve it out? Or would it always be there whether he wanted it or not?

“What about its flukes? Did you get a look at ‘em? Were they pointed like a fork, rounded, or erm— shaped kinda like a crescent moon?” He drew the shapes in the air with an index finger. It mattered to figure out if they were dealing with something that was shaped for speed or for marathon swimming. 

HENRY

Henry wished he had a better recollection of the scene as it had happened, but the whole thing was something of a blur. What had mattered the most was getting Candace to safety. This was why it was better to work with a team, Henry thought. Rose was there, of course, but she had been busy helping Candace. Once again, Henry wished Eric had been there…

But it was too late for that. Henry would just have to try and remember. “Er, it was a sort of pointed tail, two fins on the end, dark gray. Sort of tough-looking, like a shark, not the sort of shiny scales you would see on a siren. Does that help at all?” Henry looked at Eric hopefully.

ERIC

He nodded absently as he continued to think over the next course of action, but stopped when he caught sight of Henry’s expression. Eric reached out to give his shoulder a squeeze. “Hey, it was a high stakes situation. I’m just glad you managed to make it out of there, let alone remember what the bloody thing looked like. And you saved your friend before it could do any lasting damage. You did good, Henry.” 

Eric gave Henry’s shoulder a gentle shake before releasing him. “Any little detail helps. Like you said, from the sounds of it we’re probably dealing with one that comes from a deeper part of the waters. It’ll make it harder to spot, and if it’s built for speed a paddle boat won’t cut it.” 

They were going to be out favored going in if they took it on in the water. (On land was a different story, but the problem with that was identifying the slippery bastards while they pretended to be human.) “We’ll have to create a trap and draw it out again somehow. Hopefully it’ll come back to the water— assuming it ever left.” 

HENRY

This was the thing that Henry struggled with. Especially hearing it from Eric, seeing that encouraging look in his eyes, feeling the reassurance of Eric’s hand on his shoulder. Henry wouldn’t dare admit any kind of weakness to anyone in the Order… except Eric. So he wanted to take what Eric said at face value, to nod and smile and agree with him. But those images haunted Henry.

So he just nodded grimly instead, looking down at his hands. Better to push all of that emotion down, because Henry worried if he started to say something genuine, it would overpower him. Focus on the mission. Focus on the threat. Henry wasn’t going to let this happen again.

“A trap…” Henry repeated, trying to imagine what Eric meant. “With some sort of food? Or something else? I’m not using Candace as bait--” he added quickly, determined. “I’m not going to let anyone else get hurt. We’ll handle this the old-fashioned way, you and me. And maybe Rose, too, she knows what we’re dealing with.”

ERIC

“Jesus, Henry, what do you think I am? Some kind of lunatic? No, we aren’t going to use some poor girl as bait.” Eric scoffed, shaking his head like Henry had gone completely barking. Then he added, like it was obvious,“We’ll use me.” 

This time Eric caught on to Henry talking about Rose because erm— what? He let out a little huff of laughter, eyebrows coming together briefly as he gave Henry a look. 

“I don’t understand. Why would that matter?” A hand came up to scratch the back of his head before something dawned on him. The hand raked forward through his hair, moving to point at Henry when he pulled it back down. “I thought your girlfriend’s name was Ashleigh? Ginger, right? Or is that Candace? Or have they both—? Wait, I’m sorry, who’s Rose then? Are you—?” 

Eric’s eyes widened and he looked around them to make sure no one was close enough to be listening in (you know, now that the conversation was important to keep a secret) before lowering his voice and leaning forward. “Did you call it off? Or no? No judgement, I just never thought— I mean you were just so infatuated with erm— it was Ashleigh, wasn’t it?”   

HENRY

Henry was snapped out of his pensive funk by three ludicrous things that Eric had just said. One, that Eric intended to use himself as bait (??); two, that Ashleigh and Henry had broken up (???); and three, that Henry and Rose were somehow a couple? (????????). Henry stared at Eric in horror, not even sure where to begin.

“What? Eric, no-- I-- that’s-- just, no. Ashleigh and I are still together. And I really wouldn’t want to get her involved in this, it’s too dangerous. Rose is just a friend, she’s been working with the Order here in Swynlake. She’s part of a certain, er, sort of version of the Order from the States. And she’s a very good hunter, that’s the reason I suggested bringing her with us. Candace is-- never mind. Long story.” It would be too complicated to explain what was going on between Henry and Candace right now, considering Henry didn’t even really know where they stood.

He shook his head. “Anyway, if it’s alright with you, I think Rose should join us. But back to what you said, you want to use yourself as bait? Haven’t you had enough near-death experiences?”

ERIC

Eric stared back at Henry with a very dumbfounded look on his face as all of that explanation unfolded. He didn’t know which one was more bizarre, that the yanks had once again stolen from them or that they’d let women train with them— not because Eric had anything against it, but the Order was still being fuddy duddies about that. Also what was she here for if she was from America? Wasn’t that place like the wild west? Filled to the brim with Magicks that needed to be taken care of? 

“My bad. Sorry. Too many names to keep track of.” He blinked, frowning slightly to himself before shrugging it off. Well at least Henry wasn’t stepping out on his girlfriend. Eric had always thought him to be loyal so that version of Henry would have completely dismantled his perception of him. “If you trust her that’s good enough for me, mate. Just uh— make sure she’s on the page, yeah? About me and the whole I’m-not-actually-dead-but-don’t-tell-the-others-that.” 

Clearing his throat, and moving away from the topic of social drama he had no idea would turn out to be a minefield before stepping into it, Eric nodded. “It has to be me. I’m the one with the most experience with these sorts of things. And you’ll be there, so I’ve got nothing to worry about.”

HENRY

Henry gulped. Eric, like many members of the Order, tended to walk a line between “honorably brave” and “completely reckless.” He had a feeling that, if he were in Eric’s position, if this were Henry’s expertise, he would probably suggest the same thing.

“Fine,” Henry said grimly, recognizing that this was one of those situations training had prepared him for when he needed to do the dangerous thing. It would just have to be worth it. He would be there for backup after all, wouldn’t he? “I suppose you’re the expert here. Just tell me what you need me to do. As for Rose… I think if I explain the situation to her, she’ll keep it quiet. I’ve never mentioned you to her before, but I don’t know if the others have. So it’s probably best to come up with a cover story. Unless, of course, you’d prefer that I just leave out the fact that you were ever in the Order. Up to you.”

Honestly, Henry hated this. The secrecy and the lying. He still felt guilty about not telling the older guys about Eric. Being in the Order meant constant secrecy, but you were supposed to be completely honest and trusting with your fellow Princes. But Henry needed to protect Eric by any means necessary. So if this was what it took, fine. Didn’t mean Henry wasn’t a little annoyed about it, though.

ERIC

Eric, too, was tired of all the lying and sneaking around. The phone Ollie had given him was a blessing but also a curse considering how easy it was to go scrolling along social media. The amount of times he’d almost accidentally liked something or hit the wrong thing when he fumbled the phone was one too many. Imagine the panic Grim would go through seeing a notification that Eric had liked his most recent post. 

“No, that’d just make her wonder why you got me involved besides feeding me to it. Plus, if we’re going to do this together, can’t go in first thing lying to her. Then she wouldn’t care for what I had to say. No, we’ll just tell her the truth. I’m Eric, I faked my death for reasons, and no one can know I’m alive. Or in Swynlake.” He shrugged, thinking it wasn’t that big of a deal since he and Henry had been doing it for months now. Again, if Henry trusted this girl and gave her his good word then Eric figured it would be fine. “I seriously doubt they’ve talked about me. It’s been well over a year— old news.”

He rubbed his finger under his lower lip as he tried to think of what supplies they needed versus what they could realistically scrounge up. “Alright, I’ll work on getting a net big enough for this and can probably take whatever meat the market’s throwing away for bait. In the meantime, you get together whatever weapons you’re comfortable using and a bloody good light for this. Oh and— clear your night time schedule. There’s no telling when or if this thing’ll be back in the water anytime soon.”

HENRY

Henry wondered if maybe they should have gotten Tom involved. He knew about sea creatures, and Henry was a little less worried about him getting seriously endangered by this sort of thing. Not that Henry trusted Eric any less, of course, but the fact remained that Eric had almost died once. Henry still got worried about losing him again. Tom seemed older, more sure of himself.

But getting Tom involved meant getting everyone else in the Order involved. Exposing Eric’s identity. And, truthfully, part of the reason Henry was involving Eric in this was because he hoped it might remind Eric why being in the Order was worth it. Maybe he would come back on his own, reveal himself to the other guys and rejoin the Order. But in order for that to happen, Henry had to let him stay in hiding for now.

“Right,” Henry said seriously. “I’ll tell Rose as much as she needs to know and we’ll work on getting some weapons together. She’s really good with a knife, I’ll tell you that… When are we doing this? I have a SDG concert this weekend, and Ashleigh and I like to go out to dinner at least once a week, but other than that, I’m free.”

ERIC

He scratched at his temple, one foot kicking out to lean his weight against while he listened to Charming go on about concerts and dates. It almost made him want to give a random day and then go off and do this on his own. Not because he was annoyed with Henry having a life but because Henry had a life and people and things to look forward to. What Eric wanted to do (capture this thing, not kill on sight) wasn't the safest bet or their protocall. If things didn’t go the way he wanted well— he was already dead. 

But he wouldn’t do that to Henry. After all, he had come to Eric with this and not the three greatest Prince’s the Order had as he knew that this could be an opportunity for Eric to get the answers he had been searching for. It would feel like a bigger betrayal than having pretended to be lost at sea. He would just have to make sure that he had Henry’s back just as much as Henry had his. 

Eric smiled, nodding when Henry had finished. “Yeah, alright, Mr. Popular. We’ll schedule around you then. Whenever you haven’t got something going on, we’ll go stake out the lake to see if it’s out there. In the meantime, just be on the lookout for anyone exhibiting the signs. Now that there’s confirmation one’s here— could be anyone.” 

[aeipcthys]

╰ ❛   💉 — › miranda otto. cis-female. she/her.  ╯ have  you  met  celeste white  yet  ?  this fifty year old  taurus  has  been  living  in the seattle  area  for  one month.  she  makes  a  living  as  head of general surgery, which  is best suited for their cunning,  protective,  egotistical,  and stubborn personality. dream a little dream of me by doris day  is  one of  their  favorite  songs.

trigger warnings: abuse, alcoholism, misogyny, adultery, age difference, divorce, estranged parents

full character page here

BASIC INFORMATION

Full Name: celeste adella white

Nickname(s): you’ll call her celeste and like it

Age: 50

Date of Birth: april 30, 1970

Hometown: manchester, england

Current Location: seattle, washington

Ethnicity: white (english, german) 

Nationality: english

Gender: cisgender female

Pronouns: she/her/hers

Orientation: queen of the sapphics, but pansexual (believes sexuality is fluid) 

Status: divorced, single

Religion: agnostic

Political Affiliation: liberal leaning

Occupation: head of general surgery (specializes in minimally invasive & robotic surgeries)

Living Arrangements: lives alone and will not tell you where she lives but you can bet it’s bougie af

Language(s) Spoken: english, german

Accent: english

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: miranda otto

Hair Color: red

Eye Color: green

Height: 5'5

Weight: 128 lbs

Build: slim

Tattoos: nope.

Piercings: ears

Clothing Style: bougie most of the time 

Usual Expression: pursed lips, scowl, something that says...I’m disappointed 

Distinguishing Characteristics: her smile, when you get to see it

HEALTH

Physical Ailments: none.

Neurological Conditions: n/a

Allergies: none.

Sleeping Habits: she sleeps on her freaking back like HOW people do that, i’ll never know, but the gal does

Eating Habits: she’ll eat whatever ends up in front of her 

Exercise Habits: she’s up every day at 4 or 5 am to do something physical 

Emotional Stability: i don’t know her

Sociability: very skeptical of people, often judgemental, but she can be kind and hold a conversation at times; she’s used to people wanting to talk to her

Body Temperature: runs cold yet often wears outfits she’ll definitely be cold in

Addictions: none.

Drug Use: not really (still stress smokes sometimes it’s not great)

Alcohol Use: oh yes...oh yes. she’s that person that has a bottle of really nice scotch in her bottom desk drawer with two empty glasses. 

PERSONALITY

Label: tbd

Positive Traits: cunning, protective, fierce, poised, skilled, brilliant

Negative Traits: egotistical, stubborn, judgmental, competitive, cold, closed-off

Fears: fears are for wimps 

Hobbies: who has the time for hobbies 

Habits: drinking, writing people off, holding grudges :) 

FAVOURITES

Weather: give her a brisk day

Colour: any deep red

Music: something classic, on a record player preferably 

Movies: old movies

Sport: tennis

Beverage: scotch, black coffee

Food: tbd

Animal: cats and only cats 

FAMILY

Father: oscar white

Mother: lucille white

Sibling(s): annabelle white

Children: bella peterman

Exes: clifford hughes (ex-husband #1), daniel peterman (ex-husband #2), lilith baxter (on again, off again girlfriend)

Pet(s): prince the black cat

Family’s Financial Status: wealthy

EXTRA

Zodiac Sign: taurus

MBTI: entj

Anything Else:

BIO

tl;dr: abusive father, quiet mother, distant sister; two failed marriages; daughter who hates her; VERY accomplished surgeon (studying under Ellis Grey for a bit), then doing her own research; particularly influential in the field of minimally invasive and robotic surgeries (well-known award winner); fucked lilith 

Celeste White was born to Oscar and Lucille White in Manchester, England. She was born a few years before her sister, Annabelle. The four lived in a large house, Celeste’s father being the beneficiary of her late grandfather’s successful business. Of course, Oscar couldn’t manage anything, let alone a successful company. 

Their house was a cold place to grow up. (TW alcoholism, abuse) Celeste’s father was constantly drinking, and when he wasn’t drinking, he was screaming at someone to get him more to drink. Her mother was a quiet woman, constantly living under the thumb of her father. He was most definitely abusive, although he mostly kept that out of their eyes. But Celeste knew, and she grew to resent her mother for what she saw as weakness. Annabelle tried to pretend it wasn’t happening at all. 

Celeste hated her father from a young age, always challenging him. He was a bastard (her words), and she let him know it. His reactions were often volatile. He wasn’t afraid to push around his kids, pull them by their hair, or hit them when provoked enough. And verbally he was a nightmare. He never paid it much mind after an altercation, but Celeste remembered everything. Especially how he would pit Celeste and Annabelle against each other. It prevented them from growing close as sisters. 

Celeste left the family at age 17, heading to the University of Oxford to begin her education. It was there she completed a six-year medicine program, and then she continued on in London for a few years to perfect her craft. During her schooling, Celeste met Clifford. She was barely 19 years old when she agreed to marry him. (TW age difference, misogyny, abuse) Clifford was 31 when he married Celeste, and their initial romance quickly curtailed into a mess of a marriage. They fought constantly. He threw countless insults at her. His hatred of women became clear. Celeste was doing very well in her school, excelling in her medical studies, but Clifford was failing in his business ventures at every turn. He began to drink and became quite the son of a bitch (her words). Their marriage ended with both of them engaging in a volatile fight. She divorced him once her training was done, deciding to move to the states the first moment she could. 

Celeste was 26 when she moved to the U.S., securing a job at Mass General Hospital. Celeste wasn’t overly crazy about the states, but she found working at the hospital to be enlightening. She started working under Ellis Grey. She was a hard woman to be around, but Celeste adamantly enjoyed learning from the other woman. She worked with her as she eventually won her a second Harper Avery award. Feeling inspired by the woman’s influence, Celeste began to engage in research of her own.

Celeste was 29 when she met Daniel Peterman. Daniel was a professor of medicine, and Celeste was enamored with his kindness and warmth. They were dating about 6 months when Celeste found out she was pregnant. She’d never wanted children. She even considered not having the child, but it turned out she was too far along to consider such choices. 

Celeste had to halt her research to give birth to her daughter, Bella. Looking at the tiny baby in her arms, Celeste really did fall in love. Possibly for the first time ever. She and Daniel were married soon after. 

Being in the U.S. soon became tiresome, so Daniel and Bella moved with Celeste back to London where she began to, once again, engage in her research. Celeste wrote numerous papers, many notable to her peers. She was becoming a very well-known surgeon, but her time away from Daniel and Bella was waring on them. Daniel would become more and more irritated that Celeste was more married to her work than him. He began to have numerous affairs outside of their marriage. To get back at him, Celeste did the same. Their marriage became more about the battle than their lives together. Bella was often caught in the middle of it all, but her Dad was more present in her life. Although Celeste tried, Bella began to openly favor Daniel.

Celeste and Daniel finally started their divorce proceedings when she was 39 years old. Bella was barely 10. Their divorce was bitter and angry. They fought over every scrap, including Bella. Celeste was able to maintain shared custody, but that wasn’t really the way it ended up playing out. Bella fought her at every turn, always wanting to go back to her father when she was with Celeste. For years they were at odds. Celeste loved Bella deeply, but she also loved her work. As Bella became a teenager, she eventually just stopped fighting and let Bella choose. Bella, of course, chose her father.

Celeste fell into her work, possibly producing even some of her best. She expanded her specialty to include minimally invasive and robotic surgeries. Celeste single-handedly changed the game with her research, becoming the face for minimally invasive techniques and robotics in surgery. When she was 45 years old, Celeste was awarded the Lister Medal by the Royal College of Surgeons of England (and countless other awards throughout her career). 

She even tried her hand at teaching. Although she was not always the easiest person to learn from, Celeste found herself quite taken by Kassandra. They formed a bond during their time working together, and while she’d never fully admit it, Celeste enjoys mentoring the girl. One of her soft spots.

Celeste never had the desire to marry again, and she wasn’t concerned with love of any kind. Just loving. Her sexuality was something she always felt encouraged to explore. Although she’d only ever married men, there were women and other folks she’d had affairs with over the years. She much preferred women, if she was being honest. 

Celeste met Lilith Baxter through her work and found the woman to be seductive and sensuous. They were on and off again, but Celeste quite enjoyed when they were on. They weren’t a perfect duo...two dominating personalities never were, but Celeste did think about Lilith. More often than she should. 

It occurred to Celeste as she was turning 50 that she had accomplished a lot, but retirement was nowhere close to where she wanted to be. Upon hearing of the opening in Seattle, Celeste decided to once again venture to the states. She asked Bella to move with her, but her daughter ignored the offer. They barely speak these days, which breaks Celeste’s heart. Celeste has won a lot of awards, but she would love to secure the Harper Avery.

PLOTS

y’all know me open to anything

we love a mentee or research assistant, perhaps an enemy to loath, a connection from someone who used to work with her (either abroad or in the u.s. in the past), a connection with one of her ex-husbands, and of course sexy times

[spamzineglasgow]

(REVIEW) All The Poems Contained Within Will Mean Everything To Everyone, by Joe Dunthorne

Is it fiction, is it poetry, is it truth — what are the rules here? Kirsty Dunlop tackles the difficult, yet illustrious art of the poet bio in this review of Joe Dunthorne’s All The Poems Contained Within Will Mean Everything To Everyone (Rough Trade Editions, 2018).

Whenever I read a poetry anthology - I hope I’m not the only one - I go to the bios at the back before I read the poems…it’s also a really strange thing when you publish a poem…you brag about yourself in a text that is supposed to sound distant and academic but is actually you carefully calculating how you’ll present yourself.

> It’s the middle of a night in 2019 and I’m listening to a podcast recording from Rough Trade Editions’ first birthday party at the London Review Bookshop, and this is Dunthorne’s intro to the reading from his pamphlet All The Poems Contained Within Will Mean Everything To Everyone (2018). As I lie there in that strange limbo space of my own insomnia, Dunthorne’s side-note to his work feels comfortingly intimate because it rings so true (the kind of thing you might admit to a friend over a drink after a poetry reading rather than in the performative space of the reading itself). Like Joe, and yes surely many others, I am also fascinated by bios - particularly because I find them so awkward to write/it makes me cringe writing my own/this is definitely the kind of thing you overthink late at night. Bios also function as this alternative narrative on the margins of the central creative work and they do tell a story: take any bio out of context and it can be read as a piece of flash fiction. When we are asked to write bios, there is this unspoken expectation that we follow certain rules in our use of language, tone and content. Side note: how weird would it be if we actually spoke about ourselves in this pompous third person perspective irl?! Bios themselves are limbo spaces (another kind of side note!) where there is much left unsaid and often the unsaid and the little that is said reveals a lot. Of course, some bios are also very, very long. Dunthorne’s pamphlet plays with this limbo space as a site of narrative and poetic potential: prior to All The Poems, I had never read a short story actually written through the framework of a list of poet bios. The result is an incredibly funny, honest and playful piece of meta poetic prose that teases out all the subtle aspects of the poet bio-sphere and ever since that first listen, I can’t stop myself re-reading.

> This work is an exciting example of how formal constraints in writing can actually create an exhilarating sense of narrative liberation. I see this really playful, fluid Oulipo quality to the writing, where the process of using the bio as constraint is what makes the rollercoaster reading experience so satisfying as well as revealing a theatrical stage for language to have its fun, where the reality of our own calculated self performance can be teased out bio by bio. The re-reading opens up a new level of comedy each time often at the level of wordplay. I’ll maybe reveal some more of that in a wee bit.

> It’s a winding road that Dunthorne takes us on in his narrative journey where the micro and the macro continually fall inside each other. So perhaps this review will also be quite winding. Here is another entry into the text: we begin reading about the protagonist Adam Lorral from the opening sentence, who we realise fairly quickly is struggling to put together a ground-breaking landmark poetry anthology. His bio crops up repeatedly in varying forms:

‘Adam Lorral, born 1985 is a playwright, translator and the editor-publisher of this anthology.’

‘Adam Lorral is a playwright, translator and the man who, morning after morning, stood barefoot on his front doorstep […]’

‘Adam Lorral is a playwright, translator and someone for whom the date Monday, October 14th, 2017 has enormous meaning. Firstly Adam’s son started smiling.’

The driving circularity of this repetition pushes the narrative onwards, whilst the language is never bogged down: it hopscotches along and we can’t help but join in the game. Amidst a growing list of other characters/poets- that Adam may or may not include in this collection he seems to be pouring/ draining his energy into, with just a little help from his wife’s family money- tension begins to build.  

> Although Adam is overtly the protagonist in the story, to my mind it is, in fact, Adam’s four-week-old son who is the real heroic figure. Of course this baby doesn’t have a bio of his own but he does continually creep into Adam’s (he’s another side note!). He comes off as the only genuine character: there is no performance, no judgement, he just is. Adam is continually amazed by his son’s mental and physical development which is far more impressive than the growth of this questionable anthology. The baby is this god-like figure, continually present during Adam’s struggles, with the seemingly small moments of its development taking on monumental significance. Adam might try to immerse himself fully in this creative work but the reality of his family surroundings will constantly interrupt. This self-deprecating, reflective tone led me to think about how Dunthorne expansively explores the idea of the contemporary poet and artist identity through metanarrative. In Ben Lerner’s The Hatred of Poetry (Fitzcarraldo Editions, 2016), he writes ‘There is embarrassment for the poet – couldn’t you get a real job and put your childish ways behind you?’ In a recent online interview with the poet Will Harris[1], when asked about his own development as a writer, he spoke about how the career trajectory of a poet is a confusing phenomenon and I’ve heard many other poets speak of this too: there are perhaps milestones to pass but they are not rigid or obvious and, of course, they are set apart from the milestones of more ‘adult’, professional pursuits. I think Dunthorne’s short story accurately captures this confusion around artistic, personal and intellectual growth and the navigation of the poetry community, through these minute, telling observations and the rejection of a simplistic narrative linearity. The story doesn’t make any hard or fast judgements: like the character of the baby, the observations just are. Sometimes, it feels like this project could be one of the most important aspects of Adam’s life (it might even make or break it) and we are there with him and at other moments it seems quite irrelevant to the bigger picture, particularly as the bios get more ridiculous. Here, I just have to highlight one of the bios which perfectly evokes this heightened sense of a poet’s importance:

Peter Daniels’ seventh collection The Animatronic Tyrannosaurus of Guadalajara, is forthcoming with Welt Press. He will not let anyone forget that he edited Unpersoned, a prize-winning book of creative transcriptions of immigration interviews obtained by the Freedom of Information Act, even though it was published nearly two decades ago. His poetry has been overlooked for all previous generational anthologies and it is only thanks to the fine-tuned sensibilities of this book’s editor that has he finally become one of the chosen. You would expect him to be grateful.

> Okay…so I said above that there weren’t hard or fast judgements; maybe I should retract that slightly. The text definitely doesn’t feel like a cruel critique of poets generally (its comedy is too clever for that) but, yes, there are a fair few judgements from Adam creeping into those bios. I am so impressed with the way in which Dunthorne is able to expertly navigate Adam’s perspective through all these fragments to create this growing humour, as the character can’t help inserting his own opinions into other poets’ bios. Of course, we are also able to make our own judgements about Adam and his endearing naivety: shout out here to my fave character in the story, Joy Goold (‘exhilaratingly Scottish’) who has submitted the poem, Fake Lake, to the anthology. Hopefully if you’re Scottish, you can appreciate the comedy of this title. Adam Googles her and cannot find any trace of her, which feels perfect…almost too good to be true.

> Dunthorne plays with cliché overtly throughout the text. You could say all the poets in this story are exaggerated clichés but that certainly doesn’t make them boring: it just adds to the knowing intimacy that, yes, feels slightly gossipy (which I can’t help but enjoy). For example, there is the poet who has:

[…] won every major UK poetry prize and long ago dispensed with modesty […] Though he does not need the money he teaches on the Iowa Writers’ Workshop. His latest collection is Internal Flight (Faber/FSG). He divides his time between London and New York because they are both lovely.

I am leaving out a fair bit of this bio because I don’t want to take away some of the joy of simply reading this text in its entirety but it is one of many tongue-in-cheek observations that feels very accurate and over-the-top at the same time (I feel like everyone in the poetry community knows this person). It is also even more knowing when you consider that Dunthorne actually has published a collection with Faber, O Positive (2019), a totally immersive read that also doesn’t shy away from poking fun at its speaker throughout. I always like seeing the ideas that repeatedly crop up in a writer’s work and explorations of calculation and cliché are at the forefront of this collection. I keep thinking of this line from the poem ‘Workshop Dream’:

We stepped onto the beach. The water made the sound: cliché, cliché, cliché.

Interestingly, there is this hypnotising dream-like quality to O Positive - with shape shifting figures, balloonists, owls-in-law – in contrast to the hyper realism I experienced in the Rough Trade pamphlet. However, like All the Poems, in O Positive, we’re always one step inside the writing, one step outside, watching the poem/short story being written. It’s this continual sensation of being very close to failure and embarrassment/cringe. (I can also draw parallels here between Dunthorne’s exploration of this theme and the poet Colin Herd who speaks so brilliantly about the relation between poetry and embarrassment- see our SPAM interview.) Failure is just inevitable in this narrative set up. It makes the turning point of the narrative- when it arrives- all the funnier:

As Adam typed, he hummed the chorus to the Avril Lavigne song–why d’you have to go and make things so complicated?–and smiled to himself because he was keeping things simple. Avril Lavigne. Adam Lorral. Their names were a bit similar. He was looking for a sign and here one was.

> If it isn’t clear already, this is a story that I could continually quote from but to truly appreciate the work, you should read it in its beautiful slim pamphlet format created by Rough Trade Editions. For me, the presentation of this work is as important as the form: this story would have a different effect and tone if it was nestled inside a short story collection. I think a lot of the most exciting creative writing right now is being published by the innovative small indie presses springing up around the UK. Recently I listened to a great podcast by Influx Press, featuring the writer Isabel Waidner: they spoke about both the value of small presses taking risks with writers and the importance of recognising prose as an experimental field, rightly recognising that experimental work often seems to begin with, or be connected to, the poetry community. Waidner’s observation felt like something I had been waiting to hear…and a change that I had noticed in writing being published in the last few years in the UK. I could mention so many examples alongside the work of Rough Trade Books: Waidners’s We are Made of Diamond Stuff (2019), published by Manchester-based Dostoyevsky Wannabe, Eley William’s brilliant Attrib. and Other Stories (Influx Press, 2017), the many exciting hybrid works put out by Prototype Publishing, to name just a few. There is also a growing interest in multimedia work, for example Visual Editions, who publish texts designed to be read on your phone through their series Editions at Play (Joe Dunthorne did a brilliant digital-born collaborative text with Sam Riviere in 2016, The Truth About Cats & Dogs, I would highly recommend!). But this concept of combining the short story with a pamphlet format, created by Rough Trade Books as part of their Rough Trade Editions’ twelve pamphlet series, feels particularly exciting to me and is a reminder of why I love the expansive possibilities of shorter prose pieces. Through its physical format, we are reminded that this is a prose work you can read like a series of poems without losing the narrative tension that is so central to fiction. The expansiveness of the reading possibilities of Dunthorne’s short story also reminds me of Lydia Davis’s short-short stories. Here’s one I love taken from The Collected Stories of Lydia Davis (Penguin Books, 2009):

They take turns using a word they like

“It’s extraordinary,” says one woman. “It is extraordinary,” says the other.

You could read this as a sound bite, an extract from an article, a writing exercise or a short story, the possibilities go on; there is a space created for the reader and consequently it encourages the unravelling of re-reading (which feels like a very poetic mode to me). Like Davis, Dunthorne’s work also highlights how seemingly simple language can be very powerful and take on many subtle faces and tones. I think short forms are so difficult to get right but when you encounter all the elements of language, tone, pacing, style, space, tension brought together effectively (or calculatingly as Dunthorne might say), it can create this immersive, highly intimate back-and-forth play with the reader.

> All The Poems Contained Within Will Mean Everything to Everyone. The title tells us there is a collection of poems here that are hidden: the central work has disappeared leaving behind the shadowy remains of the editor’s frustration and the marginalia of the bios. We feel the presence of the poems despite not actually reading them. The pamphlet’s blurb states that this: ‘is the story of the epiphanies that come with extreme tiredness; that maybe, just maybe the greatest poetry book of all is one that contains no poems.’ The narrative, as well as making fun of itself, also recognises that poetry exists beyond the containment of the poems themselves: it can be found in the readings, the performances, the politics, the drafts, the difficulties, the funding, the collaboration, the collectivity, the bios.

> A friend of mine recently asked me: Where are all the prose parties?…And what might a prose party look like? We were chatting about how a poetry party sounds much cooler (that’s maybe why there’s more of them). I think prose is often aligned with more conventional literary forms, maybe closed off in a way that poetry is seen to be able to liberate, but I think Dunthorne breaks down these preconceptions and binaries around form and modes of reading in All The Poems. I want to be at whatever prose party he’s throwing.

[1] University of Glasgow’s Creative Conversations, Sophie Collins interviewing Will Harris, Monday 4th May 2020 (via Zoom)

~

Text: Kirsty Dunlop Published: 10/7/20

[unordinary-analysis]

Hey, I was just rereading, and, Elaine is a bad person?!? I don't think I'll be able to finish rereading, but was there any point where we started liking her? She literally called john gross for being powerless wth

Elaine: Is She a Bad Person and Why People Like Her

Know that I probably forgot all I wanted to say over the course of writing this so if it feels incomplete or off topic, i did my best lmao ok?

This is a hard topic to address because something being classified as inherently good or bad cannot be proven or measured. It’s all a matter of perspective, of where your morals, as the reader, lie. I don’t think anything that I’m going to say is going to strongly disagree with any of your ethics, but it’s good to know that going into this.

I decided to answer this question, yes, but also ask another. Along with asking if Elaine is a bad person, I also want to address why people like her character, because I know a lot of people do. People feel all different types of ways towards Elaine’s character and I want to explore why that’s the case.

Elaine, after reexamination, is actually one of the most morally intriguing characters to read. She’s still annoying as hell, but even when you hate what she’s saying, what she’s thinking, it really adds to your own perspective and makes you think.

I feel a lot of people that love her say that she’s one of the nicest and most caring characters in Unordinary. I’m sure a lot of people who don’t like her think this too. It’s easy to view Elaine as one of the nice, preppy girls.

But, like I said, after reexamination and a bit of rereading, I was reminded that her character isn’t so one dimensional. The UnOrdinary wikia (unordinary.fandom.com/wiki/Elaine) has a section labeled “personality” that is dedicated to describing Elaine’s personality. I think that the first two lines sum up Elaine very well: “Elaine seems to be one of the more friendly students at Wellston due to her outgoing and hospitable personality. However, like many students of Wellston, she's shown only enmity towards those with no abilities, and paid no attention to what lower tiers go through.” I say that this is true, but to an even more intense extent.

In what I think is the very first scene we meet Elaine (episode 7) she approaches John with kindness. She is friendly, smiles at him a lot, and welcomes him to Wellston. Then: she asks him about his power.

Instantly, the whole mood of the scene shifts. In previous panels, there were hearts and flowers drawn around Elaine. Then she asks, “So, John. What kind of ability do you have?” and suddenly this dark gloom wraps itself around the comic. Elaine is drawn with pointed eyebrows narrowed down her face. She is also sporting an impressive smirk for a character who most people classify as the naive, nice girl. The whole scene is so close from being taken straight out of mean girls it’s insane. Elaine is nice at first, but soon you realize she’s a predator.

So what really is Elaine’s true character?

Because Elaine’s true character has been somewhat elusive recently, I’ve laid out a nice list for you so you can easily see what traits of hers I will be proving and using to prove other points:

Elaine’s “good” moral traits:

Friendly

Caring

Kind

Thoughtful

Generally more aware of feelings and situations than a lot of other UnOrdinary characters.

Elaine’s “bad” moral traits:

Judgemental

Selective kindness

Unintentionally (?) biased

Doesn’t think for herself

Usually only shows her ‘good’ moral traits when interacting with her friends or with high-tiers

Elaine’s bad and good traits are surprisingly well-balanced. She’s not the perfect nice girl everyone currently seems to view her as. She has one of the most strategically used mindsets in UnOrdinary, but sometimes I feel it can be a little too subtle to actually notice. Because of the circumstances the storyline puts her in, we don’t really get to see as many of Elaine’s darker traits as there actual are.

It feels strange to write this about Elaine, one of the characters that seems to be the most recognized for her soft personality. And, I get it. Hell, I’ve hated her because she was so plain and nice and boring, but above all, actually, I disliked the way that her character was being used. God, Elaine has so much potential to just make the world of UnOrdinary so much more complex, but I feel like at this point of the story, it would be redundant to show Elaine’s worse traits because of what’s already been established, and it upsets me because I know that forcing Elaine’s less than admirable personality traits now in the story would take away from it, probably even backtracking the story, but seeing a character’s diversity is so important, especially for a main character. I support what uru-chan is doing with her right now because the loss of half of Elaine’s character does not outweigh the quality of the storytelling. But: All of Elaine’s flaws were shown in the beginning of the story, and I worry it’s been so long that most people have forgotten them.

So, I’m here now to give you reasons to hate Elaine, ok? Yeah, this is going to be fun.

I personally believe Elaine someone who thinks she’s nice, but really is selective with whom she’s nice to, if you understand what I’m saying. Elaine is that one popular girl who is apparently shy and acts all sweet around other popular kids, but is the type of person to also yell at some loner in the bathroom for being a loser or something.

She acts kind, but only to those that she considers worthy of attention. If she doesn’t care about you because you’re irrelevant, I’m sorry. You’re going to be treated like shit.

Liking Elaine as a character is actually so confusing, though. Because the first scene we ever see of her, she acts all friendly, but turns on John the instant he reveals that he is a weak low-tier, a cripple even. In other words, a waste of Elaine’s time.

Because of how that scene went down, its surprising how people think of her as this people pleaser, which she is, just only when she has something to gain. I think that the second part of her second scene in the comic (which I’ll show later) kind of overpowered anyone’s initial reaction to Elaine, whether they forgot who she was or whether they just hadn’t seen enough to label her as a total bitch.

Elaine’s second scene. At first, is also pretty bitchy. At the very end of episode 12, Elaine is waiting for Seraphina to come home from John’s house where she spent the night. Elaine says to Sera, “Why didn’t you answer and of my texts? Where were you last night? You had me worried sick.” On its own, it doesn’t sound too bad, but the panel also has a picture of Elaine glaring and with crossed arms. Also, when the scene continues into the next episode (episode 13), Elaine says, “Were you hanging out with that loser cripple again?! I DON’T GET WHY YOU’RE ALWAYS WITH HIM! YOU’RE MAKING YOURSELF LOOK BAD.” (Caps are proper quotes, I didn’t change them). It’s obvious at this point of the comic that Elaine is a character that you’re supposed to hate.

So… why is she widely known as this innocent and kind person?

Because of her like split fking personality that’s why skdfhigiuisrdughsk.

Elaine’s character experiences such drastic changes so quickly from scene to scene, it’s hard to peg her personality at first because it seems like she has every generic personality stuffed into her brain and they just take turns controlling her. In the same episode as Elaine insults John in front of Seraphina (episode 13), she literally gets a phone call, answers it, and turns into this stuttering, soft, bubbly mess, like what? (Second part of Elaine’s second scene).

Literally five lines after she acts all bitchy towards Seraphina, Elaine has this conversation with Arlo:

Elaine: “Ah, h-hello!”

Arlo: “Hey, I’m about to head out. Is Seraphina back yet?”

E: “Y-yea, she just got back!”

A: “Alright, I’m on my way.”

… What? In one of the earliest scenes Elaine is in, she goes completely 180º and turns into the basic, shy, adorable girl. This being such a contrast from literally everything we’ve seen from her character so far has to confuse the readers. Not in a bad way like the writing itself is confusing, but like the interesting and intriguing kind of confusing. The switch-up grabs the reader’s attention because suddenly the annoying, popular bitch (because, let’s be honest, that’s how her character reads up to this point) has suddenly revealed that she’s not like that all the time. Her character had been such a cliche that readers must have been pleasantly surprised to see that her character isn’t so black and white. Similar to the end of a movie or when you learn some secret about a character in a story, Elaine’s personality change makes it seem like you finally understand her, if that makes sense. It’s a storytelling cliche for something to be revealed about a mean character that makes them so much more understandable. Like Draco Malfoy when you learned how he just wanted to please Voldemort and make his family proud. That kind of thing.

This, I feel, is one reason why so many UnOrdinary fans like Elaine so much. It feels like they’ve skipped ahead in the story, makes them feel like they’ve been shown into Elaine’s life. Whenever this happens in other stories, the mean girl almost always gains redemption. Without realizing, some readers must associate Elaine’s supposed hidden, kind personality with some sort of atonement without Elaine ever actually doing anything or revealing anything. Because of widespread storytelling styles, our brains can easily connect this to patterns we see in most types of literature or media. We just skip over the middle part of, you know, the actual redemption. This trope being shown at the very beginning of the comic doesn’t give readers time to get used to Elaine before it happens, so they’re left pretty early on feeling that Elaine is being redeemed as a mean girl, but haven’t even seen the full extent of her morally bad traits. So, basically what I keep repeating: from the get go, Elaine’s appearances from scene to scene give the impression of someone who is trying to redeem themselves or has already redeemed themselves, without any of that actually ever happening.

I do not, however, think this is true for many fans. After this relatively clear switch near the beginning, Elaine’s character stays pretty consistently kind. When you see her being friendly more than you see her insulting some low-tier, it’s easy to associate her more with that. Maybe at the beginning of the story, this fake redemption would have drawn people to Elaine, but not this deep into the story. Because, let’s be honest, nobody even remembers her character from the beginning. It’s so easy to believe that Elaine’s character has always been portrayed the way it is being now because that’s all we’ve been shown for the past like 100 episodes. Elaine never really gets redeemed for what she did or how she acted towards the low-tiers. There’s not even evidence that her morals have changed at all or that she is more open-minded. It’s just, as the story progresses, Elaine is shown more and more exclusively talking to high-tiers or well-respected people at Wellston. As the story drags on, her negative traits are still there (we can assume this because we never see anything that clashes with this), they’re just not being shown. Elaine’s less desirable traits are being forgotten. All anyone really remembers or knows now is that Elaine is shy and kind. With or without the fake redemption I was talking about, she’s been acting like this for so long, it doesn’t even occur to most people that she didn’t used to be so nice.

This doesn’t fully explain why people like Elaine so much, but it’s a start to our investigation. This might explain why people don’t hate her as much as they should, based on canon events. They’re never actually shown her worst traits as much as they were in the beginning and the memory of those beginning events are fading.

I’m here to remind you: Elaine acts horribly to anyone that she doesn’t consider her level and she determines that mostly by tier. There’s loads of examples in like the first fourth of the comic, but not in recent chapters. Be aware of this.

I do believe I know the reason why she thinks and acts like this, though.

I’ve brought up this same thing in a post where I talked about Seraphina, but I think it was used differently than how I’m going to use it here, and, obviously, because of the reason, the circumstances are going to be different. I believe that Elaine has her mindset as it is because of her parents, how she was raised, and what she learned from the adults that surrounded her when she was younger.

Like I said, I’ve brought this up when talking about Seraphina once. I can’t find the post, but I basically said that Sera tended to be intensely self-involved because her parents always told her to watch herself, that she had to be number one, that she was in the spotlight because of her power. Elaine is different, though. I mean, obviously, we’re dealing with different issues here, so yeah.

Elaine inherited her tier discrimination mindset from her parents.

We know that Elaine’s parents have a good relationship with her (they send her oranges), so they probably talk a lot, so obviously Elaine would be influenced by their ideals. Also, I can’t think of any example out of any story ever or even in real life where someone discriminated against certain people or things when their parents didn’t. Ever. The kids are never that much more judgmental than their parents, kids usually even breaking the cycle. That’s how it’s been in real life for the last few years, and it’s great. Back on topic: I don’t believe Elaine gained these beliefs on her own. I believe her parents probably drilled it into her that she had to only associate with higher-tiers because not only is she not actually ambitious, which you would expect from someone who only acts decently to those who have more power than she, but she herself isn’t a high-tier. I don’t think she would learn to discriminate against those in her own tier (though she is a 3.5, not shabby) if not told by someone that she should because like…? Who’s like that?

So that’s why I’ve come to the conclusion that Elaine has been raised to believe that higher-tiers are more respectable and the only people deserving of total respect, based solely off of their ability, not their personality. Not something that I think is necessarily important to the questions I’m answering, so I didn’t really try to further my investigation into this, but I wanted to say what I think about this because I think it kind of impacts how I classify her as a person (good or bad)... god that sounds wrong to say.

This theory doesn’t excuse Elaine however. I didn’t excuse Seraphina for what I believed her parents were responsible for and I won’t let Elaine slide either. I hold her to this. She still does believe that low-tiers are inferior. That’s still an issue.

Most people that like Elaine like her because of her kind personality. She’s cute and shy, and that’s usually an instant recipe for success, right? But despite that obviously being the stereotype uru-chan was going for, she also managed to weave some character complexity into Elaine. It makes me sad that nobody notices, but I suppose it isn't super obvious.

I don’t think there is a definitive point that made Elaine into an understandable and likeable character, but her character detail is much more complex than I thought. I personally like characters for having diverse and different thoughts, so I like her concept. But to the people who like Elaine because she is nice and friendly… Move on to Remi. Elaine is not that person.

Liking Elaine is just a matter of what you enjoy in a character. I don’t like her personality, but I do think her character as a whole gives the UnOrdinary world such a diverseness.

Elaine is not a good person. I’m answering the question right here, right now. She’s, what word can I use here, tierist (?). She discriminates against people she doesn’t deem worthy of attention (bit too extremely worded but eh) and she decides who’s worthy based almost purely on ability, as we’ve seen so many times in this comic. Yes, she’s kind to her friends or people she wants to get closer with, but that should be a given. So I’m not exactly counting that as a good trait about her because it’s such a basic and fundamental thing, it would stand out a lot more if she wasn’t nice to her friends. It would be a lot more noticeable because how Elaine acts right now with her friends is honestly a societal expectation.

So: Elaine is a bad person, a diverse character, and someone that I’m overall happy to have in the story because of how her character impacts other characters and the plot around her. As with so many characters, in UnOrdinary especially, losing her presence in the story would drastically change the events of UnOrdinary. Without Elaine being who she is, UnOrdinary wouldn’t be what it is.

She’s still a dumb bitch tho.

[beanplague-moved]

Yoosung Kim’s Guide to a First Relationship

yo! the sales for @yoosungkimzine went through very successfully, and thus im able to post my full piece for it. here we go i guess.

AO3 | writing commissions | my secret mysme blog that has nothing on it.

Tip #1: Kissing

Yoosung’s first kiss with MC is his first kiss in general. It’s expected to be a little clumsy. The fact that it’s a spontaneous public display happens to be enough to mask the clumsiness.

On a related sidenote, he really didn’t think about how much the eyepatch would factor into the situation—and if he did, he assumed it wouldn’t really have anything to do with it. Lips and eyes are different, and kissing is always portrayed as instinctual and easy on television, so why would it matter? Except, well, depth perception is kind of important when it comes to just about anything, and so his first kiss is really, really good, but he’s also mostly kissing the corner of her mouth, because of the lack of aforementioned depth perception. Whoops.

That said, it isn’t the first kiss that’s especially complicated. It’s all the other ones. There are a lot of intricacies involved in kissing, or, Yoosung feels like there are. Even simple things, like a kiss on the cheek upon meeting each other, seem complicated. Is he supposed to initiate it? Would it be weird if he asked beforehand? Would it be even weirder if he didn’t ask? The latter seems more likely—what if he makes her uncomfortable? He’d never want to overstep his bounds, but how does one even ask about that sort of thing? Zen would know what to do—wait, thinking about what his friends would do while he’s on a date is weird, right? This is terrible.

“Yoosung,” says MC, as they tread the sidewalk, “You’re thinking too much.”

Yoosung manages a semi-humorous response. “I am not. I’ve never had a thought in my life.”

“You have been looking at me like you wanted to say something for five minutes now,” she replies, “And you’ve had lots of thoughts. In fact, you’re having entirely too many thoughts right now.”

She does have a point. He could be getting into his own head about it. He gets into his own head about a lot of things, and it’s good sometimes! MC likes that he’s thoughtful, or at least she says that she does, and Yoosung tends to believe most of the things she says. She’s a very honest person. She has no reason to lie to him, and Yoosung has no reason to believe she would lie to him.

No reason.

At all.

Except, well, Yoosung is still a victim of his own insecurities, and though he has confidence in MC’s honesty, there is some small part of him that thinks she could just be saying things to avoid offending him. And as soon as the thought crosses his mind, he regrets it. This was supposed to be a fun day, and his brain just had to inform him that he’s a terrible boyfriend who has no idea what he’s doing—

“Hey,” says MC. “Look at me.”

Yoosung is torn away from his thoughts, which is a very welcome thing, at the moment. “I’m looking,” he says.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” replies MC. “Because I can tell something is, and I want to help.”

“Nothing! It’s nothing—why would anything be wrong? Maybe you’re thinking too much. Maybe—” he stops. “Okay, yes, something is wrong.”

“And what is that?”

“I want, to, uhm,” Yoosung stops. For a second he thinks, this is going to be so awkward; but then he meets MC’s eyes again and she’s not judgemental in the slightest, and it kind of dawns on him that he’s worrying about nothing. “I want to kiss you.”

Okay. Still awkward, and every second he spends marinating in that awkwardness is another second wherein he wants to call this whole thing off and try again another time, like when you fail a level in a video game and load at the last safe checkpoint.

MC blinks, and then she goes a bit pink in the face. “Oh! Is—is that all?” she says, trying to maintain her cool. Yoosung says ‘trying’ because it’s clear that she’s just as embarrassed as he is, which is actually very reassuring. He isn’t alone in all of his overthinking and insecurity.

He nods, and MC meets his eyes before looking down at her feet. “I think,” she starts, lifting her eyes to meet his again, “that is a very fixable issue.”

Yoosung is pretty sure he undergoes a bit of a malfunction, for a quarter of a second—Yoosung.EXE has stopped working, would you like to restart or wait for him to respond? Apparently MC picks the second option, because then he says, “Okay,” and the second challenge arises, which is actually kissing her, rather than just thinking about it for longer than necessary. “Could you close your eyes?”

“Oh, you’re right! That’s a thing people do when they kiss,” MC jokes, “Imagine if they didn’t, though? Like, if we kissed and I was just staring directly at you.”

Yoosung feigns a frightened shiver, “That’s terrifying.”

“I know, right! It would be really funny, though. I should stop talking. I’m going to stop talking… now. Right now,” she stops talking, and Yoosung is semi-disappointed. He does love listening to her talk, but he also likes kissing her, which he can’t do while she’s talking. Relationships are so hard.

He places one of his hands on MC’s shoulder, and he brushes the dark hair from her face with the other before leaning down to press a quick peck on her lips. Is it weird to be doing this in the middle of the sidewalk, in broad daylight? Yes. Does the joy of kissing her outweigh the weirdness? Absolutely.

When he pulls away, MC eyelids flutter open and she says, “I love you,” and Yoosung’s heart flips. Her face goes red and she adds, “Well! Nice exchange we had there. Good communication.”

“Yeah,” says Yoosung, before adding, “I love you, too. You know that, right?”

MC’s hands move to cover her face. “Yeah, I know,” she almost squeaks.

“What are you doing with your hands?”

“I’m smiling too much, and it would be embarrassing —”

“That’s not embarrassing! That’s cute!”

“Of course you think so!” MC says, and then she bursts into laughter and Yoosung follows suit. “I love you,” she says, the giddiness dripping off of her voice.

“I love you,” says Yoosung, and he means so much when he says it. He means it with his whole heart.

She walks closer to him, looks up at him and closes her eyes. They kiss again. This time, it’s easier. He can’t stop smiling.

Tip #2: Scheduling.

“Tuesday?”

“I have classes on weekdays. What about the weekend?”

“Don’t hate me, but I have to visit one of my friends over the weekend.”

“I couldn’t hate you for that!”

“I know, I know. I just—” MC groans, “I just wish I was free so I could see my boyfriend for once!”

“I wish I was free so I could see my girlfriend!” replies Yoosung, leaning back in his desk chair and looking up at the ceiling. He and MC have been on the phone for around ten minutes now, talking about this and that, but mostly trying to set up their next date. As it turns out, they’re very busy people.

It goes on like it has for a little while. As it stands, the two of them are pretty busy for the month, and the days where one of them isn’t busy are days where the other happens to be busy. It’s very inconvenient. Yoosung has school, which he might have been okay with putting aside in the past, but now he’s trying to do better and ready himself for the future and all of that other garbage. It’s a total bummer. If only past-Yoosung was the one with the girlfriend, then he’d have so much more time to hang out with her. Of course, he’d have remained game addicted and vaguely depressed, but whatever. You win some, you lose some.

MC, on the other hand, has an active social life in addition to the fact that she also goes to school, and the universe didn’t even have the decency to make them go to the same university. Truly, nothing in this world is fair. And, speaking of nothing being fair, Yoosung also has his extracurricular obligations. He may have cut down on LOLOL, but he has friends who he plays with from time to time, and he’d be remiss to flake on them; and then that’s not even getting into the activity meetings he attends at school.

“What if,” says MC, after a few minutes of contemplation, “I came to one of your meetings with the meteor study club? Or maybe I could get into LOLOL or something?”

“For real?” Once Yoosung manages to process the concept, he can hardly contain his excitement. “For real?!”

“For real!” says MC, “I mean, I already play a few video games, and it doesn’t seem that hard to get into. And the club meetings sound pretty cool!”

“They are! And LOLOL can be a little overwhelming, but if it’s just me and you and my group of friends it should be fine—” Yoosung cuts himself off, “I should get into the stuff you’re into!”

“Oh, it’s fine! I don’t wanna drag you into anything.”

Yoosung shakes his head, and then quickly realizes that he’s on the phone and MC can’t see him. “It’s not fair if you’re just getting into the things I’m into! And it’s really cool to think about us sharing interests and everything and—” he stops himself before he can ramble for too long, “I would be totally cool with it.”

MC is quiet for a moment, and then she speaks. Yoosung can tell she’s smiling. “Maybe you can visit my school, then. I’ll introduce my cool boyfriend to all of my friends.”

“And I’ll get to introduce my cool girlfriend to all of my friends! Well, I mean, you already know most of my friends because of RFA and everything, but the other ones! You can meet one of my LOLOL friends,” he says, “And you can meet my friends from school! They’re also pretty cool. You met Star through email for the party, actually!”

“I did! And, uh, sorry for the typing in the background. I’m trying to make a LOLOL account. Should I go healer?”

Okay, maybe this is stupid, but just hearing his girlfriend talk about trying out his interests is really, really nice. Everything is nice with her, but this especially. “I love you,” he says, dreamily.

“I mean, that doesn’t exactly answer the question, but you are killing me! You’re killing me dead!”

“With love?”

“With so much love! I’m getting overloaded. I’m going to shut down soon, like an overloaded computer.”

“Oh! That reminds me—do you have a desktop? I wouldn’t try installing the game on your regular laptop if you don’t. It might not run very well, and it could overheat your computer,” he stops, “I’m sorry, I’m getting over excited about this stuff.”

“Don’t be! I love when you’re excited. It’s very, very cute,” says MC.

“You’re cute!”

“No, you’ve already dominated the cute economy. It is shattering in your wake. You can’t take back the damage you’ve done.”

It goes on like that for a while, and Yoosung is eternally grateful that his girlfriend is as smart and funny (and cute) as she is, and that of all guys, she likes him! It really is a statistical miracle. Of all guys, MC is willing to make time for him. She’s willing to look into his interests to spend time with him. And she doesn’t get bored when he starts raving about that one time he built a gaming PC or how the LOLOL community is actually improving now that it’s becoming more popular—she doesn’t mind any of that. She likes him, and not despite his interests or quirks, but because of them.

That’s never been anything Yoosung imagined for himself. It’s always been something he thought other guys got out of relationships; something that was reserved for those much more together than he was. Yet he is that guy, now. He’s the guy in the perfect relationship, with the perfect girl, which brings up the question…

What does she see in him?

Tip #3: Jealousy.

He starts thinking more heavily on this when he sees MC talking in the chatroom the next day. 707 is teaching her how to code, and it’s completely innocent—he knows nothing is going on—but his mind can’t help but wander.

Because, yeah, nothing is going on right now. Maybe nothing will be going on for a while longer, but what if? What if she slowly but surely begins to realize that Yoosung isn’t anything special, but the other guys in RFA are? Zen is an actor, and he’s popular with girls already. Mostly Jaehee, but other girls too. Jumin is almost comically rich, (like, the kind of rich where it’s represented in a cartoon as a pool of gold coins and extremely high bills) and he’s handsome and mature. 707 is funny and smart, and he and MC seem to get along really well. And Jaehee isn’t a guy, but she is intelligent and well put-together, which are things Yoosung has yet to fully achieve. (Well, he is intelligent. He has a million test scores from high school that tell him so, but he doesn’t know if any of that knowledge truly equates to the real world. It certainly needs some work, considering the last few years wherein he did nothing but play video games and slack off.)

So when he watches the chat pass by, and 707 talks about how nice it is to be a teacher and MC responds with a string of smiling emoticons, it kind of stings. Even when Yoosung knows it doesn’t mean anything. Even when he knows that nothing would ever happen—there’s something about his own insecurity that always gets in the way.

This dreadful thought passes into the next day, and Yoosung and MC are going on a date—MC is coming to one of the meteor study meetings tonight, and it’s actually a really special meeting. Apparently it’s expected that the stars will be much more visible today than they are normally, so they’ve a stargazing event in the park. Some of the club members bring telescopes and beach blankets to sit on, and the park is really pretty in the day already, so Yoosung is pretty excited to see it under the moon and starlight. It sounds really romantic, and it definitely would be, if not for the myriad of baggage he’s bringing to it.

And he knows that it’s stupid. He knows the jealousy is an ugly emotion, and that MC would never hurt him in any way. He knows that, and yet he still feels like this, and he feels kind of pathetic for that. The thought pesters him throughout the day with MC, and she seems to notice his irritation.

“Babe,” she says, and that’s almost enough to make him drop all hostile emotions, because that’s a pet name and she said it so casually—but then he thinks about how one day, she could call someone else babe, and he mentally damns himself for ruining such a cool moment. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“You aren’t fine! You said ‘I’m fine’ in a very not fine way.”

“I’m fine, really,” says Yoosung, and MC narrows her eyes at him, but she seems to let it go. They talk about other, more casual things. For a moment, it seems like all of his previous worries can just melt away.

Except, then MC’s phone buzzes, and all of that bitterness floods right back. Apparently Yoosung doesn’t do a very good job of hiding his stupid, terrible jealousy, because MC recognizes that something is off as soon as she looks at him.

“Seriously, Yoosung, what’s wrong?”

For a moment, he loses himself and says, “I don’t know, why don’t you ask Seven—” and then he cuts himself off, immediately realizing how impeccably wrong that statement was, “Oh, God. I’m sorry, I just—” he inhales, and he looks down at his feet.

“Yoosung, it’s fine,” MC puts a hand on his shoulder, “What’s bothering you about Seven?”

“Nothing! I’m just—I keep feeling—augh,” he groans, “I’m jealous. And I keep feeling jealous, all the time, even when I know it’s dumb!” There’s a moment of silence that passes, and every second is one where Yoosung worries that he’s ruined everything.

“It’s not dumb, it’s natural,” reassures MC, “And you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“I mean, I know that, though,” he says, “the problem isn’t that I don’t think you’re faithful—I know you are. I just, I don’t wanna feel the way I do. I don’t wanna be that guy.”

“And you’re not!” says MC, “You didn’t get upset with me, aside from that one comment, which you immediately apologized for. You didn’t try going through my phone or tell the other guys not to talk to me or anything. You talked to me about it.”

“I—” he stops, “You’re being too nice.”

“I’m not! I promise, I don’t think any less of you for feeling that stuff,” she says, “In fact, I feel better that you at least talked to me about it. And, well, I’m gonna say something super embarrassing, so don’t make fun of me,” she inhales, and then starts, “I like you a lot, Yoosung, and I want you to talk to me about the things that you feel, because I want this to work. I want to be with you for as long as humanly possible, and I know that these things only work if we, you know, communicate.”

Yoosung pauses, and he looks at MC. He really is so in love with her. He’s in love with everything about her. Everything that contributes to her is something he’s in love with. And he could voice all of this, but then he’s suddenly very aware of tip #1 and, well.

“I love you,” he says, “Can I kiss you?”

“See! What’d I tell you about communication,” tries MC, her face quickly going red, “I. Um. Absolutely.”

They kiss, and it’s a soft, brief kiss that feels like it could last a lifetime. She threads a hand through his blond hair, and she says, “This is a really, really awkward thing to do at your stargazing event,” when they pull back and suddenly Yoosung is very aware of the fact that he and MC are in a public park with their other club members. Star, at least, is pretty understanding—as she seems to be squealing to someone else about this very private moment she just witnessed.

They kiss once more that day—well, that night. As the moon settles and the stars beam in the ink-dark sky, and he holds MC’s hand and points at the constellations, he meets her eyes and he realizes that he never needs to worry about anything, because they have it all together. They can learn as they go, and they can take those lessons and carry them over into every future issue. He thinks about these past few weeks, from the first text to now, and all of the problems they’ve encountered, and all of the solutions they’ve come to.

And in his heart he’s confident that they’ll do just fine.