#yet anything Brooklyn nine nine quote

[megamind-incorrectquotes]

Megamind: please Wayne, just come. Do it for me? Do it for love?

Wayne: damn buddy, you know Wayne loves love. I’m in!

Megamind: all right! Now put on your phoniest smile, cos we’re going into the belly of the beast!

Wayne:

Megamind: phonier.

Wayne:

Megamind: phonier!

Wayne:

Megamind: there it is! Into the beast!

[pjcwrites]

[CLOSED CHARACTER]

[ melissa barrera, cis female, she/her ] — whoa! PJ CORTEZ  just stole my cab! not cool, but maybe they needed it more. they have lived in the city for A DAY, working as a JOURNALIST. that can’t be easy, especially at only 32 YEARS OLD. some people say they can be a little bit NOISY and LOUD, but i know them to be LOYAL and FRIENDLY. whatever. i guess i’ll catch the next cab. hope they like the ride back to Manhattan! — (nads, 34, gmt-3, she/her)

(filling in for wanted connection - Gabe Cortez’s sister)

BASICS

FULL NAME: Penelope Jane Cortez 

NICKNAME(S): PJ - Lupe

AGE: 32

DATE OF BIRTH: January 6 1992

PLACE OF BIRTH: Huston, Texas

CURRENT LOCATION: Manhattan, NYC.

RELIGION: Catholic

ETHNICITY: Latinx.

GENDER: Cis Woman

PRONOUNS: She/Her

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Straight Bisexual - Lesboromantic

EDUCATION: UT Texas

OCCUPATION: Journalist

FACECLAIM: Melissa Barrera

PHYSICAL TRAITS

HEIGHT: 5'7 

WEIGHT: 121 lbs

HAIR COLOR: Dark brown

EYE COLOR: Green

PIERCINGS: Ear lobes.

TATTOOS: Jane Austen quote on her ribs.

Sam's handwriting on her wrist.

SCARS|MARKS: Scars on her legs from playing wildly as a kid with too many siblings.

PERSONALITY

CHARACTER INSPO: Amy Santiago (Brooklyn 99) Elena Alvarez (One Day At a Time) Nell Serrano (Not Dead Yet) Iris (The Holiday) June Claremont-Diaz (RWRB Book)

THEME SONG: Perfecta - Miranda

POS TRAITS: Confident. Friendly. Loyal 

NEG TRAITS: Loud. Noisy. Pushy 

LOVE LENGUAGE: Physical touch

ALIGMENT: Lawful good

RELATIONSHIPS

BROTHER: @thenightofgabe

Biography

Being a part of a big latino family in America isn’t something anyone would call easy but Lupe always knew how to make herself heard. 

She had her first filibuster at nine when, at her prima Catalina’s birthday party, they separated boys and girls to do different things. Boys went out to play fútbol and girls stayed in to paint their nails and have a little spa day. What if she wanted to play fútbol instead of getting her stupid nails painted? 

Okay, she didn’t think doing her nails was stupid nor did she really want to play fútbol. But she knew her best friend Sam would have been much happier outside stealing the ball from the boys than bored to death and trying to stay still while tia Cuca was trying to apply some glitter to her small nails. And Lupe would do anything for Sam so there she was being dragged away by the ear by her abuela and being told that, “No es de buena educación hacer un escándalo cuando estás invitada a una fiesta en casa ajena, Penelope, compórtate como una señorita.” (It’s not polite to make a scene at someone else’s party, Penelope. You have to behave like a lady)

She never did learn the lesson and spent her life trying to be polite but well behaved women rarely make history, right? 

After college, she went to work on a small local magazine in the city tourism department, not her dream but it was far from the worst and it paid the bills. She had a steady boyfriend, an apartment and her best friend. Everything was going great for PJ. Except, an ex colleague kept telling her she was better than the small magazine she was working on and that he had a place for her in a better publication in NYC. 

But her life was fine in Huston. She didn’t need that. 

Then what is she doing in her brother’s bar in Manhattan with a suitcase? 

[goshikitsutomusmommy]

“Incorrect Quotes with Haikyuu Boys„

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8 , Part 9 , Part 10

Synopsis : Different Quotes From Brooklyn-Nine-Nine (and F.R.I.E.N.D.S) as Haikyuu Characters

Genre : Comedy , slight romance

Paring(s) : Osamu x reader , Atsumu x reader , Shirabu x reader , slight Iwaizumi x reader , slight Kyoutani x reader

Word Count : 0.83k

Warning(s) : She/her pronouns used , slight mention of suicidal joke , timeskip spoilers

Masterlist Link : Here

Osamu : *About to leave*.

[Name] : Aren’t you forgetting something?

Osamu : *Kisses forehead and heads out*.

[Name] : No! Pay the bill!

Part 1/4

Suna : [Name] hasn’t taken her eyes off her phone in two hours. First to make her look up wins the pot.

Aran : I’m in. A bet which improves someone’s manners? Double score!

Atsumu : Too bad, guys, a got this in the bag. A used to distract ‘er from ‘er phone all the time when we were smoochin’ buds.

Suna : Ugh, ew.

Aran : Yeah...

Part 2/4

*Atsumu tries walking seductively towards manager*

Atsumu : Hey, girl.

[Name] : *Throws nearby binder at his crotch*.

Atsumu : *Groaning*, Catch ya later...

Part 3/4

Suna : Mid morning dance party! *Turns on disco music on speaker*.

*Manager dancing to the music without looking up from her phone*

Suna : She’s dancing even better than normal.

Part 4/4

Aran : Oh god, did ya hear that George W. Bush died?

[Name] : *Still not looking up*, Who dat?

*Manager feeling down*

Semi : You’re a good manager. Do not beat yourself up about that.

[Name] : I’m not a good manager. I’m an amazing manager. And I’ll never forgive myself.

Shirabu : I didn’t understand why people care so much about their dumb love interests till I got a dumb girlfriend myself. I’ve only been with [Name] for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

*Karasuno mentoring elementary students for the day*

Part 1/3

[Name], to two young girls : Okay, you two are obviously the alphas. You’re dating the blond kid and you like Filipino Bieber but you’re worried he’s still into Little-Miss-Side-Braid-Janky-Purse. Haha! I know so much. Hi, I’m [Name]. Hey~!

Part 2/3

Daichi : Great. So can you take over with the kids for a bit?

Asahi : Of course! I’m amazing with kids!

*Daichi leaves momentarily*

Asahi : *Nervous laughter*, I’m terrible with kids. I don’t know the lingo. You have to do this!

[Name] : I can’t, Hina is in the bathroom right now freaking out because Yui made out with Akira even though she knows Mei’s into him. Unless you want the Spring Dance to be a total drama fest, I have to be there for her.

Part 3/3

Daichi : Oh, uh, [Name], Akito-Sensei said you had a real impact on those kids. Apparently, you were just named Spring Dance Princess somehow...?

[Name] : Mhmm, what am I always telling you guys? I’m royalty.

[Name] : Apparently, he’s very into bird watching, so talking to a woman should blow his mind. And talking to this *Gestures to self*, woman, it could kill him.

Yachi : *Taking notes*.

*Meeting Seijoh for the first time as their manager*

[Name] : Hi. [Surname] [Name], the human form of the 100 emoji.

*Iwaizumi having a hand wrestle with Kyotani*

[Name] : Guys, take off your shirts! It’s restricting your body movements.

*Kageyama and Hinata in the boys bathroom trying to be discreet about a secret*

Kageyama : No one can know about this, understood?

Hinata : Understood.

[Name] : Understood.

*Kageyama and Hinata visibly alarmed*

[Name] : *Entering their stall*, What? I hang out in the men’s bathroom all the time. The acoustics are amazing~.

{Exceeded limited pics, pretend for me😁}

*Aged up*

*At [Name]’s apartment*

Part 1/2

Semi : Then you distract her a Barbie doll.

Shirabu : *Deep in thought*.

[Name] : Or... You could just, you know... *Pushes Shirabu aggressively onto already broken fridge*.

[Name] : *Mouth gaping dramatically*.

Shirabu : What the hell are you doing?!

[Name] : Wh... What the hell am I doing? What the hell are you doing?! You just broke my fridge!

Shirabu : What?! How do you know if—... *Deep breathe* How do you know if it’s even broken?

[Name] : Oh, you think I don’t know what breaks my fridge? Excuse me! *Opens fridge door*, Well, what do you know? Broken! That’ll be ¥45 thousand.

Semi : [Name], I saw you push him.

[Name] : Semi, remember what I told you when our fridge broke? I still haven’t gotten the check for your half yet.

Shirabu : Do not give her any money.

[Name] : I’m talking to you, you broke my fridge!

Part 2/2

[Name] : You owe me ¥45 thousand.

Goshiki : Okay, sure!

[Name] : Really?!

Goshiki : Yeah, yeah. Oh, wait! Technically, you owe me ¥70 thousand for sending happy thoughts on your last ten auditions.

[Name] : *Silence*, ... Call it even?

Goshiki : Okay!

{Pretend this is a header too <33}

*Timeskip*

*[Name] walks in Sugawara’s elementary classroom*

[Name] : Suga, can I talk to you? It’s urgent.

Sugawara : Yeah, sure...

[Name] : Okay, Daichi and Asahi are running a little late today for our hangout.

Sugawara : But, what’s wrong with them?

[Name] : Nothing, why?

Sugawara : [Name], you said it was urgent.

[Name] : Oh, yeah, it is. I’m going to the movies and it starts in, like, five minutes.

Sugawara : Do you realize I have a classroom full of students?

[Name] : Oh, I’m sorry. I’m so rude! *Turns to talk to the students*, Does anyone want to come to the movies?

{Again, pretend this is a header plsss}

Author’s Note : I just made the masterlist and it took me a while to figure out how to link it to my bio🤕🤕 if you wanna check out my work, here is the link

[randomfandomimagine]

Interests Tag Game

I was tagged by @stars--above / @lxncelot, thank you, Olive!!

Rules: tag 9 people to learn about their interests!

MUSIC

Fave genre?

The ones I listen to the most are heavy metal and classic rock.

Fave artist?

If you know me a little, you’ll be tired of hearing me talk about The Amazing Devil.

Fave song?

Not Yet / Love Run by The Amazing Devil. I also love So Far Away by Avenged Sevenfold and Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.

Most listened song recently?

Smells Like Teen Spirit (the cover that appears in the Black Widow movie)

5 fave lyrics?

Song currently stuck in your head?

Skyscraper by Demi Lovato.

My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies (Show Must Go On by Queen)

Yeah, it’s a long way down, but I am closer to the clouds up here (Skyscraper, Demi Lovato)

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie| louder or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

This here is not singing, I’m just screaming in tune (Farewell Wanderlust, The Amazing Devil)

Here comes the rain again, falling from the stars (Wake Me Up When September Ends, Green Day)

Bringing my sinking ship back to the shore (Now, Paramore)

(that's just five at the top of my head)

BOOKS

Fave book genre?

Fantasy

Fave writer?

Right now it’s an author from Spain called Victoria Alvarez, she’s a genius.

Fave book?

Uuuuuuuh... I think it’s Howl’s Moving Castle.

Fave book series?

Oooof so many! Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Dreaming Spires, Guardians of the Citadel...

Comfort book?

I think it’s Holes by Louis Sachar, it’s one of the few books I’ve read more than once. In fact, I’ve read it three times.

Perfect book to read on a rainy day?

Anything by Victoria Alvarez completely pulls me in, so it would be perfect to be all immersed and cozy while listening to the rain outside.

Fave characters?

Just from books? Hm... the main trio from Harry Potter (as well as many others), Howl Pendragon, Carswell Thorne...

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary | rereading or reading just once

5 quotes from your fave book that you know by heart?

I'm completely blanking on this one 🤷‍♀️

TV AND MOVIES

Fave tv/movie genre?

I love sitcoms for TV shows, but also fantasy because I like that genre in anything fiction. Most importantly, though, I just love whatever genre (except maybe horror) as long as I connect with the characters.

Fave movie?

I can never make my mind up between Back to the Future (the nostalgia, but also the comfort, plus they’re fun and quick to see), Big Fish (the perfect mixture of reality and fantasy, it speaks to my dreamer soul and it’s so unique, but it always makes me cry) and Lord of the Rings (it’s probably my favorite thing ever made and I love everything about it, but it takes me so long to watch the movies, even the limited editions).

Comfort movie?

I think Disney movies in general, I keep rewatching them.

Movie you watch every year?

It’s funny that my best friend and I found out that we both do this, but we always watch Anastasia at least once a year.

Fave tv show?

It’s probably Brooklyn Nine-Nine, I’ve watched it like 5 times so far.

Comfort tv show?

Besides Brooklyn Nine-Nine and other sitcoms like Friends, I would say it’s Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Most rewatched tv show?

Merlin, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Friends.

tv shows or movie | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

5 fave characters?

Marty McFly, Jaskier, Jake Peralta, Phoebe Buffay and Clark Kent.

[westofessos]

What I’ve Watched During Quarantine (so far):

TV Shows:

The Last Kingdom - holy shit I love this show and I cannot wait for a new season. Æthelflaed is a badass bitch. But I miss Alfred.

After Life - the most heartbreaking show in the world, with Ricky Gervais being funny between making me cry.

Community - maybe my favourite sitcom. I fucking love this show. I’m containing myself because if I don’t, I’ll go on forever.

Hunters - I love love love love love this weird-ass, terrifying, mind-bending, incredible show. What a ride. Sister Harriet is my favourite even though I don’t trust her.

Tiger King - Yes, along with everyone else I watched this fuckery. What is there to say? I was entertained, that’s it.

Making a Murderer - I was on a roll after Tiger King and wanted something crazy, and I got it. What a bunch of fucked up shit. I can’t believe this is real. Also Kathleen Zellner is a badass bitch and I love her.

Good Omens - I broke down and watched it. And this was the weirdest shit I’ve ever seen but I loved it. Crowley and Aziraphale are a delight. And my history nerd heart couldn’t handle it.

The Boys - wow this was the most disturbing, wonderful show. Truly terrifying but great. Billy Butcher is incredible.

Peaky Blinders - when I say I am in love with Thomas Shelby. Wow. What a fantastic show. I didn’t expect to like it, but I finished all five seasons in less than a week because I’m absolutely addicted. Damn you Thomas Shelby and your pretty eyes.

The Umbrella Academy (S2) - wow wow wow wow what an amazing season. I don’t want to spoil anything but it was absolutely fantastic.

Rewatches:

Lost - my favourite show of all time, and my favourite series finale of all time. Fuck what people say, Lost is brilliant and I would die for this beautiful show.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine - what an all around great time. I just love it so much.

Roseanne - ah, old school Roseanne. My actual favourite sitcom. Y’know, the one that was my entire childhood, basically made me who I am today, only for me to find out that the actress that played my actual idol was a racist. Yeah, that one. It was nice to ignore that though and love my favourite show regardless.

Scrubs - I just watched it for the first time just before quarantine, and decided to watch it again during. What a brilliant show. It means so much to me. Also, Perry Cox is one of the greatest, most complex characters to ever exist. And Carla Espinosa is an underrated queen. I’m also listening to Fake Doctors, Real Friends, which is Zach Braff and Donald Faison’s Scrubs rewatch podcast, and it’s great.

Friends - I missed this show, really. It’s still so great. Chandler Bing is amazing and I forgot how adorable he and Monica are.

Movies:

The Philadelphia Story - again, Cary Grant is lovely. Also, Katherine Hepburn is incredible and I love her.

Rocky 1-4 (haven’t gotten hold of 5 yet) - oh, yes, yes, yes. These movies. I love love love these movies. Rocky and Adrian are the couple.

Cocktail - this one wasn’t bad, considering I hate Tom Cruise. I’d watch it again.

Anastasia - I’ve been wanting to watch this one for a while, and it was awesome. I love Meg Ryan so much.

Rebel Without a Cause - this is such a great teen movie. I was surprised about how much I related to it. Also, as if everyone didn’t already know, James Dean is gorgeous.

Thelma & Louise - what a beautiful story about friendship and badass ladies. This is exactly my shit. Yes.

Steel Magnolias - this was such a lovely, sad movie. Oh, I love it.

The Wedding Planner - this one set me on a JLo kick, because this was such an adorable movie. Her and McConaughey were adorable.

Maid in Manhattan - ah, JLo, you did it again. I loved this one so much. Loved it.

Save the Last Dance - I hadn’t heard of this one, but I saw Julia Stiles and immediately clicked. That was the right choice. This movie was so cute, oh, I loved it.

All the President’s Men - me geeking out over journalism, politics, and history for two hours? Yes please. Also Robert Redford is gorgeous and I never found him that attractive before.

Terms of Endearment - oh, break my goddamn heart why don’t you. Fuck, this was so heartbreaking. I loved it.

Taxi Driver - a garbage movie for garbage people. Imagine if Fight Club just like, wasn’t a good movie. That was the vibe of this one. God, don’t waste your time.

Singin’ in the Rain - what a lovely, fun movie. All three main characters were great, the songs were awesome, the relationships were fun, what more can I say? Oh yeah, Gene Kelly? Damn.

His Girl Friday - overall an okay movie, but it was pretty funny, and Cary Grant. Dear god, I love me some Cary Grant.

Good Will Hunting - oh, fuck me, this movie. How dare you make me feel such things, Matt Damon. What an incredible movie. It made me, a person who hates Ben Affleck, not hate Ben Affleck for two whole hours. It made me cry, of course. Robin Williams, dammit. Wow. And Matt fucking Damon was so brilliant, and so was Minnie Driver, and they were so good together, and I could gush about this movie for days.

Set it Up - as of now, I’ve watched this movie, oh, nine thousand times?? How perfect is this movie? All of the actors are great, and I’d watch two hours of just Charlie looking at Harper. Ugh. The way he looks at her gets me every time.

The Old Guard - I’m not usually a fan of action movies but this one was so good !! I loved the plot and just the idea in general, and all of the characters were so awesome. It was a really great movie.

Rewatches:

Tombstone - I could watch this movie every single day. Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday might be my favourite performance ever. I can quote almost this entire movie, and I don’t even like westerns.

Gladiator - I hadn’t watched this in a long time, and I knew it was good, but it was so, so, so good. Wow.

Memento - maybe my favourite movie ever. Definitely my favourite mind-fuck movie. So cool, and just. . . god, it’s such a good movie. Hats off to you, Chris Nolan.

The Usual Suspects - this is one of my favourite movies of all time. Everyone is so good in it and that ending is incredible. I could gush about this movie forever. Dean Keaton deserved better.

This is the End - such a funny movie, wow. Anything with Seth Rogen and James Franco is good. Jay Baruchel, wow. I adore Jay Baruchel.

You’ve Got Mail - in my books, the best romantic movie ever. I watch this shit constantly. Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks are so adorable together. Add in Dave Chappelle, and it’s perfect.

Unbreakable, Split, and Glass - M. Night Shyamalan is always good and I’ll fight anyone on that. These three expecially. He’s the absolute master.

Back to the Future 1-3 - if I’m being honest, they’re not the greatest movies, but fuck, aren’t they, though? They’re cheesy as hell, but absolutely iconic and I still love the hell out of them.

The Neverending Story - this is the weirdest goddamn movie I’ve ever seen but the nostalgia hit me harddd. This movie was my whole childhood and even though it’s absolutely disturbing, it’s still great.

Talk to me about any of these!! I’m desperate to rant about my favourite movies and tv shows, and if you are too, feel free to reply to this post or message me privately! I’m always ready to talk and gush about things I love.

[ihatecoconut]

to the newsies

“Ok.” Katherine was standing on someone’s bed and waving her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Listen up idiots.”

Jack made an offended noise.

“Not you, Crutchie, you’re an angel and we’re glad you’re here.”

“You know,” Race said, kind of lazily from where he was sprawled out across the floor, “If someone had asked me when I first started remembering you guys who I thought would quote memes, my answer would not have been Kathy.”

There was laughter and agreement. Even Davey, who Race was pretty sure still felt out of place in their group despite having been there in the last century and now, laughed at that and made a comment about how he, personally, would have said Race.

“Are you listening or not?” Katherine demanded, once the noise had died back down,

“Yeah, babe,” Sarah called, “we’re listening.”

Katherine took a moment to smile lovingly down at her girlfriend. “Thank you, now, as I am sure you are all aware it is nearly 120 years since our successful strike!”

Apparently, most of the people in the lodging-house turned boy’s home were not aware of this fact, as the room erupted into shouts and confusion, most of the old newsies cheering at the fact that their impact had lasted that long, while others were just expressing their shock at how long it had been.

“In fact!” Katherine continued over the noise, “It will be exactly 120 years on Saturday!”

“What d’ya wanna do about it, Ace?” Jack called back.

“I think,” she replied at a more normal volume since the room had quietened back down to hear what she had to say, “that we should go on some sort of outing to visit everywhere that was important to us last time.”

“That’s really sweet.” Davey said, sounding a little surprised. “I like it.”

“Thank you.”

“Ok, it’s a fun idea,” Spot objected, “but I’m not walking all the way around New York, and I can’t afford the metro.”

“You used to walk all the way around New York,” someone near the back pointed out,

“And further.” Another voice added.

“I’ll pay for it.” Katherine announced, before Spot could get up and work out who was mocking him- she could see it was the twins from her vantage point but wasn’t about to tell him that- “It’ll be fun!”

There were a few other mumbled complaints, enough people were working Saturday that it was agreed they would move it to Sunday instead, and the group split at their normal time to return home- if they didn’t live at Kloppman’s- with their futures looking happy.

*

“Where do you think Kath’ll take us?” Les asked once they had dropped off those who lived at Denton’s and were continuing back to their own house.

“Newsies Square, to start with,” Sarah said, “I mean that’s the most obvious, right?”

Davey nodded, “I’d say the lodging house but most of them already live there, so maybe some selling spots?”

“That place we used to go for water?” Les suggested,

“Jacobi’s.” Davey provided absent mindedly, “Probably, that was where we kind of met her for the first time.”

“Brooklyn as well,” Sarah suggested, “For Spot and Racer, and because that was where she used to live.”

Davey nodded again, “I’m sure she’s got a plan, you know Kath, she’s organised like that.”

*

“Hey.” Race’s voice came through the phone as soon as Spot hit the answer button.

“Hey yourself, what’s up?” He found himself smiling as he rolled over to look at his boyfriend through the screen- they had only put that label on themselves recently and it still gave Spot an odd floaty feeling whenever he said or thought it.

“Just wanted to talk,” Race replied, grinning back and mirroring his position, lying down with the phone propped up next to him, “what d’ya think of Kath’s idea?”

“I like it.”

“You like it?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

Race paused, rubbing his nose like he did when he was nervous- it was a gesture that had replaced putting a cigar in his mouth and chewing it- “Hotshot said you still haven’t been back to Brooklyn.”

“So?”

“Well, Kath’s probably gonna take us to Brooklyn…”

Spot rolled onto his back, careful not to upset how he had positioned his phone, so Race could still see him, “Yeah, I know that.” He snapped, and then winced, not meaning to sound as harsh,

“And you’re ok?” Race prompted gently,

“I am.” He said, a little surprised at how true the word were, “I don’t like going to Brooklyn with Hotshot because I don’t feel like their king anymore and they want me to stay in that position…” He glanced over, seeing Race looking at him with nothing but understanding, “I ain’t him anymore.”

“Who are you then?”

“I’m Spot Conlon, I’m your boyfriend, I’m Denton’s kid, I’m Niamh’s brother, I’m…” He trailed off, about to say that he was a newsie, but that wasn’t quite true anymore.

“A newsie?” Race offered, “Because we still are, even if we don’t sell papes anymore.”

“Yeah, I’m a newsie. And I’m a dancer.”

Race laughed from the other end of the call, “Not as good a dancer as me.”

“Nobody’s as good as you, babe.”

*

“Hey, Jack?”

“What’s up, kid?” Jack asked, shifting over so Albert could fit in next to him.

“Do you think that Kath’s idea is a good one?”

“Yeah, of course, why?”

He shrugged, unhelpfully, “Don’t know. Do you think she’ll take us to the cemetery?”

Jack realised almost immediately what was troubling Albert- there were many cemeteries in New York city, but only one where both of Albert’s mothers (this time and last time) had been buried, Albert himself had been buried there as well, last time. Jack was pretty certain that the only person that had seen it, beside Albert himself of course, was Race.

“Do you want to go to the cemetery?” He asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.

There was a pause and then Albert nodded, firmly, “Yes, I do.” He nodded again, red hair flopping about as if he was trying to convince both of them of this fact.

“Ok, then I’ll text her and make sure it’s on her agenda.”

“Thanks, Cowboy.”

“No problem, you gonna sleep here or back in your own bed?”

“Back in my own bed,” Albert replied, looking a little offended that Jack would think he needed that, “I’m not a little kid anymore.”

“Sure kid,” Jack laughed, dodging the pillow Albert proceeded to try and hit him with.

“We’re the same age!”

*

Sunday actually dawned bright and clear, despite the weather forecasts suggesting that it would rain all week.

Denton woke up everyone in his household- Hotshot, Smalls, Tommy Boy and Spot who lived there, and Sniper and Race who had stayed over- at just gone eight in the morning, resulting in six grumpy teenagers around the table at nine, fully dressed and eating breakfast.

“Alright,” he said as they were just about to leave, ignoring the way Spot groaned ‘not again’, “New York isn’t the best city ever, stay safe, listen to Katherine, don’t loose your money and keep phones out of the reach of pickpockets, everything clear?”

There was a dull chorus of “Yes Denton.” And he finally released them to make the trek across to Kloppman’s.

The Jacobs were already there when they arrived, making polite conversation with Kloppman, and drinking the coffee he provided, the coffee which Race immediately ran for after taking off his shoes. Kloppman simply shook his head at that- very used to Race’s antics after two lives of dealing with him- and gestured towards the cereal and other breakfast foods.

“We already ate,” Smalls told him, “And we already got a safety briefing from Denton before you do it too.”

Kloppman smiled at her, “I wouldn’t dream of telling you to be safe- Cowboy’d just ignore it anyway.”

As if on cue, Jack came stumbling down the stairs, thankfully fully dressed, and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, “I thought I heard people down here.” He said, plopping down at the table and pouring a bowl of cereal, “No Kath yet?”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Davey scolded slightly, “And, to answer your question, no we haven’t seen Kath yet.”

“She just texted me,” Sarah said, looking as disgusted as her brother at Jack’s eating habits, “She’s on her way, should be about ten minutes.”

Jack opened his mouth to speak, saw the looks on the twins’ faces, shut it, swallowed and then spoke, “I guess that means we’ve got ten minutes to wake everyone else up.”

Very soon after, the house descended into chaos as those of them who had been awake proceeded to move through the bedrooms, each using their own method to wake those unfortunate souls who were hoping to sleep in. Their unorthodox methods worked, however, and they were all packed into the kitchen when Kath arrived, the girls from Medda’s who had not slept at Denton’s with her.

“Let’s do this!” She announced to the kitchen, waving her list of places to visit, and- as if they had been awake for hours instead of mere minutes- everyone in the kitchen cheered loudly, shoving past each other to grab shoes and bags and anything else they had decided they needed for the day.

Davey had been right, the first stop on Kath’s itemised list was, in fact, Newsies’ Square. It had changed a lot since they had bought papers now, and their school was the building that had once been Pulitzer’s. The yard where Wiesel and the Delanceys had sold the papers was now the open area for the high school, and the buildings around had been modernised, re-painted or simply knocked down and rebuilt. The statue that Jack had climbed on to announce the beginning of their strike wasn’t there anymore, replaced with a small fountain. It was a little disappointing, but as most of them went to school there, they knew what had happened.

“Ey, Jack.” Race called, “Dare you to do your strike speech again.”

Jack waved him off, laughing among the calls for him to do it, and turned to Kath instead, “What’s next?”

Katherine just smiled mysteriously and led the way out. As it turned out, she had somehow managed to work out where each of their selling spots had been- everyone had their own spot in the 1890s, selling spots had been as much a part of newsies politics as their hierarchy within each borough. This part was much more popular than Newsies’ Square, with a few people actually crying when they saw the place they had spent their entire childhood last time. Some spots were almost the same as they had been a century ago, others had been built over and some had been a little destroyed, but they were instantly recognisable.

When they reached Jack, Davey and Les’ selling spot, Kath stopped again and consulted her list.

“We not going to Brooklyn now?” Race asked, “The rest of us sold there.”

“Later,” she reassured him, “I thought we’d do all of Manhattan first.”

“Alright,” Race said, apparently happy with her organisation, “Lead the way.”

*

They stopped at Jacobi’s for lunch, and unlike other parts of their history, this was a place that hadn’t changed- even Jacobi still ran the place, even if he didn’t seem to remember them, and he was as warm, fond, and utterly baffling as he had been before. The food hadn’t changed, even if the prices had adjusted with inflation, and they crowded around a table that wasn’t designed to hold that many people- Les sat under the table as he had always done when they had used it as a meeting house in the past, joined by a few other younger ones- but they made it work, sharing chairs and sitting on each other’s laps.

Davey found himself sitting on Jack’s lap, much to the amusement of his siblings, and managed to keep his blushing under control- they were still navigating their relationship in the 21st Century, it was different to the secret kissing in alleyways that they had done before- and despite being slightly too crowded, a little bit too warm and a little embarrassed, Davey was almost certain that nothing could ever be as perfect as it was just then.

Race danced on the table for them once lunch was finished, accompanied by a few others playing spoons. A few other customers laughed and clapped once they were done, but most of them gave the newsies looks that had them clearing out as soon as Katherine paid the bill, spilling out onto the street and laughingly mocking the lady who had told them they were ‘utterly uncivilized’.

Spot had an arm around Race’s waist in a possessive gesture that he never would have normally done, Jack had grabbed Davey’s hand as they had shoved past the younger ones to get out the door, and he could see others- Blink and Mush, Smalls and Sniper- also moving into gentle couples’ poses. The 21st Century had been good for all of them; there was enough food in their stomachs and they never had to worry about where their next meal was coming from, and they were all more open, more free than they had been when bound to the strict societal positions of the late 19th Century.

“Now,” Katherine said, beaming, “We go to Brooklyn!”

Racer and Hotshot both cheered; Spot didn’t, but his faced creased up into a smile that was very rarely seen, and the group of them followed after Kath.

*

It was nearly six in the evening when they finished, the group of them collapsing onto the grass in Prospect Park, a large tangle of limbs and happiness.

“Hey,” Spot said quietly into Katherine’s ear, having ended up right next to her, “thanks for this.”

She smiled back, “You’re welcome. I thought we might need this.”

He nodded and lay back down on his back, staring up at the clouds which were floating slowly overhead, a contrast to the hectic movement that their day had been.

“Kathy,” Jack said, leaning over Spot and Race, “we’ve still got one more stop, yeah?”

She nodded, “Back in Manhattan, yeah. We’ll rest first.”

Jack nodded in response, ignoring the puzzled looks that Race and Spot gave him, and pointing upwards at one of the clouds Spot had been watching. “That one looks like a fish.”

*

They left the younger ones- middle school and under- at the lodging house before they made their way to the final stop. The chatter from those who were still there died down as they approached the graveyard, nobody asked why they were there- Albert was leading and that gave most of them a good idea of what was happening. Davey and Sarah were confused, but they were polite enough not to ask.

“Trinity Church Cemetery.” Davey read as they went under the archway, still not asking questions, just stating facts.

“Trinity Church Cemetery.” Albert echoed from the front, as he moved through the stones, stepping towards a few small ones near the back. The rest of them followed him, fanning out behind him as he came a stop in front of a small plot of land that housed the DaSilva family- all generations of them, despite the fact that there were only a few marked graves.

He touched a small wooden cross first- obviously weathered and damaged by years of wind and rain- and then traced his fingers over the words on the small stone to the left of it. Race knelt down next to him, one hand sliding around Albert’s shoulders and pulling him into his side.

“His mother.” Jack said quietly, squeezing Davey’s hand unconsciously. “And from this life too.”

Katherine stepped forwards then, a few flowers in hand and placed them on the two graves. Albert smiled, a watery smile, but a smile none the less and they stood as a group until he turned back to the entrance.

“Thank you.” He said once they were back out on the street, “For coming with me.”

“Anything you need.” Davey replied, sliding an arm around him in a similar, but much more paternal way than Race had done. “We’re here for you.”

*

Someone had ordered pizza to the lodging house once they got back, Les and Crutchie had apparently made sure to save some for them, and they dug in with the expected vigour of teenagers who had been walking around all day.

Sarah climbed up onto the bed that Katherine had used only a few days prior to announce her idea and tapped a teaspoon against the coffee mug she was holding. “Attention, please.”

They all turned to her, some still eating, but all listening.

“I want to thank Katherine for taking us out on this trip. I think we all needed it.”

“To Katherine!” Blink shouted, raising his glass, and the rest of the room echoed him, accompanied by the clinking of glasses and mug knocking together.

Sarah climbed back down to sit between her brother and her girlfriend. “To the newsies.”

They both smiled at her, “To the newsies.”

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Brooklyn 99 AU? If you haven’t seen that, just think like an Office or Parks and Rec-esque work sitcom

“Make Terry do it,” Santiago whispered.  “He’s good at babysitting.”

“Make Terry do what?”  Jeffords looked up from his yogurt, expression concerned.

The informal conference in the precinct break room exchanged a glance.

“We may have arrested a few underage tourists from out of town,” Peralta said.  “They may or may not have been drunk, but, uh...”

Peralta glanced at Boyle.  “But we left them unsupervised in the back of the police van for, like, two minutes,” Boyle explained quickly.  “So by the time we got the breathalyzer working, they were all sober.”

“They all puked?” Scully asked, appalled.

Santiago shook her head sadly.  “They all morphed.”

“Wait.  You mean...”  Jeffords craned his neck to look out across the main room.  He caught a glimpse of the group of kids currently sitting in the Nine-Nine’s holding cell, and his expression went slack in horror.  “No.  No.  No, Terry has not had nearly enough low-fat peach-mango yogurt to deal with this today.”

“They’re famous!”  Peralta made jazz hands at the rest of the squad.  “That’s kind of cool, right?  That Marco kid’s a movie star, Tobias definitely counts as a cryptid, and... the others... do stuff...”

“Yeah.”  Santiago crossed her arms.  “They kill people.”

“There was a war on!” Peralta protested.  “Aliens invaded, Boyle’s mom got possessed by a scary slug thing and tried to kill me —”

“She said she was sorry for mistaking the Sharing for a ferret-themed lomage fanclub,” Boyle said.

“Yeah, no, anyone could make that mistake.”  Peralta pivoted back to Santiago.  “The point is, they killed people as part of a war.  And that, like, doesn’t count or something.”

“What’d they do?” Jeffords asked.

"It was only a few murders,” Boyle said.

“Today!”  Jeffords gestured to the front room, where the delinquents in question were clearly sitting in their holding cell.  “Why’d we arrest them?”

Santiago pulled out her phone, calling up the relevant statement.  “They’re claiming they were provoked when, quote, ‘Some guy wolf-whistled Cassie, and then that guy’s biker gang objected to Rachel’s attempts to rip his arms off and feed them to him, and really it was their fault all along.’”  She looked up.  “Signed Jake Berenson.  Which begs the question: did we get ID from any of them?”

“They all morphed,” Boyle pointed out.  “Who else could it possibly be?”

“So that explains the entire cell’s worth of muscular guys with mild-to-moderate grizzly bear wounds downstairs,” Scully said, staring upward in wonder.

“That’s it, we’re all babysitting them,” Jeffords declared.  “And by that, I mean that we’re getting them out of our hair as fast as we legally can, whether or not we charge them with anything in the process.”

“Agreed,” Santiago said, shoving open the door to the main room.

The scene in the holding cell was... not pandemonium.  Jake and Cassie were sitting on the bench at the back of the cell, Cassie’s head leaning on Jake’s shoulder.  Rachel leaned against the bars, picking at her nails.  Tobias sat on the crossbar next to her, preening.  All in all, the kids seemed to be cooperating, which was a mercy.  It wasn’t like the Nine-Nine had the budget for even one-tenth of the equipment necessary to actually contain an Animorph, after all.

Still, it was probably for the best that some wise soul had moved all the other prisoners downstairs.

“...and you can conceal up to 15 knives in the interior pockets alone,” Diaz was telling Marco.  He watched with rapt fascination, leaning over her desk, as she unfolded a butterfly knife one-handed and then swung it closed again.

“Rosa, did you let him out of the cell?” Santiago asked, exasperated.

“Nope.”  Diaz shrugged.  “Must’ve broken out on his own.”

“He didn’t break anything,” Jake called from inside the cell.  “Marco has not damaged or defaced any government property, nor have any of the rest of us.”

“And yet somehow, there are not one but two delinquents meandering unrestrained around my precinct.”  Holt had emerged from his office, and was now looking slowly from Marco to Ax.

“Yeeeaaah, he’s not technically under arrest.”  Peralta jerked his chin at Ax.  “Seeing as he’s not from Earth, we probably can’t arrest him?  And even if we can, it definitely wouldn’t be worth the headache of trying to charge him with anything in intergalactic courts.”

“If you’re not under arrest, you may leave,” Holt told Ax sternly.

Ax straightened up from where he had been eating... something... off the floor of the microwave.  “I am not going anywhere without my friends!”

“That’s so beautiful.”  Boyle swooned against the door frame.  “It’s like you share a six-way love whose unmatched intensity pours out of you...”

“Not in front of the kids, Charles,” Peralta said.

“What?  I was just—”

“If you’re allowed to leave, could you at least go get us some hot dogs or something?” Rachel asked Ax, ignoring the cops.

“Nah, hot dogs are a Chicago thing,” Jake pointed out.  “Go for knishes, or pizza, or... what else is in New York?”

“Those little paper packets of honey-roasted peanuts,” Cassie suggested.

Everyone glanced over when there was a loud thud from across the room, and then back to the conversation when they realized it was just Marco trying, and failing, to get one of Diaz’s knives to stick in the surface of her desk.

«Tacos.»  Tobias looked unerringly at Scully.  «There has to be a taco truck around here somewhere, right?»

“Don’t you worry.”  Scully pulled his partner to his feet, gasping at the effort of unsticking Hitchcock from his comfortable chair.  “Me and Hitchcock’ll show him all the best food trucks in Brooklyn.”

“How many — any — are there?” Ax asked eagerly.

“Two hundred seven, if you don’t count pushcarts or ice cream vendors,” Hitchcock said immediately.

“We shall return with a bounty as great as three sets of human arms can bear,” Ax promised Rachel.

She flashed him a thumbs-up.

“Hot wings!” Cassie called.  “That’s a New York thing, right?  Hot wings?”

“Have we got a sauce for you,” Scully promised, a hand on Ax’s shoulder.

Jeffords ran to intercept them at the door.  “You can’t just wander in and out of the precinct with suspects, Scully!”

«If you don’t like Ax coming and going, you could always just arrest him,» Tobias said acidly.

There was a long silence.  During this silence, Ax slipped out the door with Hitchcock and Scully behind him.

“Kids these days and their attitudes,” Jeffords complained, spinning around too late to intercept Ax and then turning back to give Tobias his sternest stare.  “I should speak to your parents or guardians, young man.”

Tobias laughed.  «Joke’s on you, since I don’t have any parents or guardians.»

“What?”  Jeffords ran forward to press himself against the bars, appalled.  “Do you want to come home with me?  Cagney and Lacey keep telling me they want an older brother, and Sharon makes excellent chicken cacciatore — you don’t have any food allergies, do you?”

“He’s ours and you can’t have him,” Rachel snapped, standing up to get in Jeffords’s face.  She didn’t seem to care much that she had to tilt her head back at a 45-degree angle to make eye contact, and somehow succeeded in conveying that she was looking down at him.

“Duuuuuuude!” Marco exclaimed loudly from across the room.  “You really mean it?”

“Sure.”  Diaz rested a hand on the hatchet that lay across her desk.  “I teach people how to throw ‘em all the time.”

“Marco!”  Rachel turned away to whack on the bars.  “Quit fraternizing with the enemy.”

Peralta gasped loudly.  “We’re the enemy?” he asked in delight.  “Are we your nemeses?  Does this mean that we’re as scary as the Yeerk Empire?”

“Why?”  Jake stood up, making eye contact through the bars.  “Do you want to be?  Are you saying that you’re controllers?”  He took a step forward, not breaking his stare.  “Or was that just an expression of sympathy for their cause?”

“Uh.”  Peralta laughed nervously.  He’d taken several steps back in the last few seconds.  “You know what, never mind.  We’re cool, right?  Alllllll cool.  Super cool.  The coolest.”

“That’s easy to say for someone currently holding us against our will.”  Jake still sounded unamused.  “We have complied fully with your demands up until now, and will continue to do so unless you give us a reason not to.”

“Are you threatening my detective?” Holt asked, very mildly.

“Are you charging me with additional crimes?”  Jake’s voice wasn’t mild at all.

“Have I mentioned that I’m a big fan of you guys’s work?” Peralta asked, making a grand gesture to include all of the Animorphs.  “Because I’m thinking maybe that didn’t come through.  Huge fan.  Love the way you squash those yeerks.  It’s a delight having you here.”

“Of course we’ll go along with whatever you think is best, Officers.”  Jake sat back down.  He had yet to look away from Peralta.

“Amy I think I changed my mind about having kids,” Perlata said all in one breath, smiling and nodding as he continued to back away from the cell.

“No, chicks dig hatchets,” Diaz was explaining to Marco.  “Guys tend to get all weird about it if you start flinging weaponry around.”

“Oh yeah, that makes sense.”  He was still hanging on her every word.

“The trick with guys is to pull out a little bit of that feelings shit.”  Seeing the expression on his face, she shook her head.  “You don’t have to go full-hog and reveal your real name on the first date or anything.”

Marco laughed.  “Oh good.  Because I am not looking for that kind of commitment.  I usually don’t want any commitment to anyone, ever.”

“Good policy.”  Diaz clapped him on the arm.  “Nah, with dudes it only takes a little bit of sappy stuff.  I’m talking a moderate-tier confession, like...”  She considered for a second.  “I keep one of my knives hidden in my boot, and it doesn’t set off metal detectors when I gotta work government buildings.”

“Uh-huh.”  Marco bent over the sheet of paper on his lap, scribbling frantically.

“Are you taking notes?” Rachel called, disgusted.

“More importantly, is he taking notes on the back of his own arrest form?”  Santiago rushed across the room to rescue the rest of the paperwork from Marco’s defacing.

“Nah, it’s cool.”  Diaz held up the back side of Marco’s paper.  “It’s just the arrest sheet where Peralta made four attempts to spell ‘Aximili’ before declaring that we probably couldn’t arrest an alien anyway.”

“Those two events were entirely unrelated!” Peralta said loudly.

“Of course, we all believe you.”  Santiago leaned over to pat him on the arm.

“If they can’t arrest Ax, can they arrest you?” Cassie asked Tobias.

He shrugged, or at least it looked like that’s what he did.  «They still haven’t processed me, so I suspect not.»

“We are going to process you,” Boyle said, “just as soon as we figure out how to scan your fingerprints.”

«But I’m not under arrest yet, am I?»

“Aren’t you guys legally required to release him, then?”  Cassie turned back to the room at large.

“We can hang on to all of you for twenty-four hours,” Santiago called back.

“The question is,” Peralta muttered, “do we want to?”

“I’m gonna keep this one around to bring me iced coffees and gas up my motorcycle.”  Diaz was watching Marco polish one of her axes.  “For a kid, he’s pretty dope.”

Marco gasped, a hand over his heart.  “You don’t mean it!”

She held up a finger.  “Too sappy.”

“I have a hatchet?”  He held it up in offering.

“Better.”

“Speaking of our legal rights,” Rachel said, “can I call my mom?  She’s a lawyer, after all.”

“Yeah, well my mom’s a teacher,” Peralta said immediately.  “And you don’t hear me bragging about it.”

“That’s not the point.”  Santiago sighed loudly.

“The point is,” Holt interjected, “she asked for a lawyer, and we need to provide her with one.”

«Can your mom be my lawyer too?» Tobias asked.

Rachel shrugged.  “Sure.  I think.  Jake already took his phone call, and Cassie wasted hers on checking in at the hospital—”

“I just wanted to be sure that we didn’t permanently injure that man,” Cassie said mildly.  “Only showed him the error of his ways.”

“You did that, all right,” Diaz said.  “I like your style, for what it’s worth.”

Rachel rolled her eyes.

“I like your style,” Marco breathed, staring up at Diaz.  “Teach me everything.”

“You want to be a cop?” Cassie asked him.

“What?  No!”  Marco turned quickly to Diaz.  “No offense, it’s nothing personal, they don’t mean it, but also...”

“Nah, it’s cool.  You’re a smart kid,” Diaz said.  “Cops are losers.”

“Excuse you,” Santiago said, “Could a loser win both the ‘Most Organized Seminar’ and ‘Highly Relevant Community Announcements’ awards from the same commissioner in one year?”  She gestured pointedly to a matching set of plaques on her desk.  “Checkmate.”

“I have brought a bounty of wings!” Ax declared.  At least, it was presumably Ax speaking from behind the teetering stack of take-out boxes that went clear over his head and somehow didn’t include the four additional plastic bags of Chinese food hanging off his arms.

«Ax-Man, you are a god among insects,» Tobias said.

“Not on top of the binders!”  Santiago lunged to shield them with a drawer before Ax’s tower of food boxes could topple onto the front desk.

“Can I have some?” Peralta asked wistfully, watching as Ax slotted an entire pizza box through the bars to where Jake and Cassie could pry it open.

“Here Jakey, we got you a tub of Wing Slut sauce.”  Scully set it reverently on Peralta’s desk.

“Really, you shouldn’t have.”  Peralta scooted his chair back several inches, eyeing the tub with suspicion.

As the better part of the Nine-Nine watched in horrified fascination, Tobias tossed his head back and swallowed a Buffalo wing whole.  After a second he made a hacking sound and spit up the bone, now completely cleaned of all meat.

“You eat wings?” Boyle asked, leaning in to peer through the bars.  “Is that cannibalism?”

“It’s an open question,” Cassie said.  She folded a paper plate taco-style to protect the lo mein inside, sliding it out to Ax.  “Can you make sure Marco eats something with lots of carbs before he goes hatchet throwing?”

Ax took the plate, saluting her with his free hand.  “The sauce is most excellent, sell-lent, when consumed through a straw,” he told Peralta in a conspiratorial whisper as he went by.

Peralta pushed to his feet.  “Yep, I am never having kids, and I am never eating food ever again.”

“Human bodies do not continue living if you do not consume sufficient nutrients.”  Ax pointedly set the lo mein in front of Marco.

“Ha!” Peralta said.  “That’s what everyone said about drinking water, and yet!”

Marco grabbed a handful of noodles straight off the plate and dropped them in his mouth.  “The bagels might be better here, but you can’t beat California’s Chinese takeout,” he concluded after chewing for several seconds.  “Sorry,” he added, glancing up at Diaz.

“If you suck up any harder, you’re going to injure something,” Rachel snarked.

“Why, are you jealous?”  Marco batted his eyelashes at her.

“No, she just remembers that we’re all under arrest right now,” Jake said loudly.  “And that we’re under no obligation to say or do anything without a lawyer.”

“Which is why I’m here.  To ensure you do not talk yourself into any more trouble than you already have.”

Everyone turned to look at the newcomer.

“Hi Aunt Naomi,” Jake said, voice small.

Rachel rounded on him.  “You used your phone call to contact my mom?”

Jake held up both hands.  “I didn’t say anything about the alcohol!”

“Alleged alcohol,” Naomi said loudly.  “Which these minors have not admitted to purchasing or consuming, because they have not made any statement admissible in a court of law, because you have been holding them all here illegally without an advocate.”

“Ma’am, I think you’ll find that we made every effort to secure advocacy and legal representation for these children with all due haste.”  Holt moved smoothly across the room to shake her hand, and then ushered her into a chair.  “Detective Peralta deemed it necessary to hold them here for their own safety until such time as we could obtain statements from everyone involved.”

“Has anyone pressed charges yet?”  Naomi sat in the folding chair like a queen on a throne, and glared at Holt until he — with a wincing glance at the dust on the seat — sat across from her.

“No, ma’am.  The only person likely to do so is still at the hospital,” Holt explained.

“Oh yeah, he said he wasn’t going to,” Cassie called over.

“What,” Peralta said, laughing.  “You just called him on the phone and talked him out of it?  Just like that?”

Cassie shrugged.  “I asked nicely.”

“It’s Cassie,” Marco told Diaz in a stage-whisper.  “She does stuff like that.”

“Hardcore.”  Diaz looked Cassie over.

“But I’m still more hardcore than her, right?”

“Too desperate.”

“I have four knives?”

“Better.  Only four?”

“Where else am I gonna put them?  I can’t morph and wear a leather coat at the same time.”

“Point.”

“If they’re not being charged with anything,” Naomi said overtop all of this, “and they’ve already given their statements, then you need to release them from custody.”

“I’m not comfortable doing that if we’re not releasing them into the hands of a parent or legal guardian,” Holt said.  “I’m given to understand from their earlier statements that Jake is your nephew and Rachel is your daughter?”

Naomi nodded.

“Then I can only release those two to you.”  Holt seemed genuinely regretful that this was the case.  Then again, it was Holt, so it was hard to tell for sure.

«Look, if Jake can go with his aunt, I can go with my uncle, right?» Tobias said.

“Yes, that would be acceptable,” Holt said.

“Thank you, human captain.”  Ax gave a small bow to Holt.  “I accept this responsibility.”

“Wait, wait.”  Santiago looked Ax over.  “No, we’re not going to just... How old are you, anyway?”

“I am eight-six years old,” Ax announced.

“Eighty-six,” she repeated.

Ax stared back at her, implacable.

Holt sighed.  “Obviously, he is referencing the fact that andalite years are approximately point-two-four-one-zero-nine times the length of human years.  However, since the law does not specify whose years one must count in order to determine whether an individual is over the age of eighteen, I believe I take his point.”

“Does this mean I’m eighty-six too?” Marco asked quickly.

“Were you born on Earth?”  Santiago raised her eyebrows at him.

“Uh.”  He glanced at Diaz.  “Wouldn’t you like to know!”

Diaz gave him a subtle fist-bump.

“My son is not an adult, nor does he mean to indicate that he wishes to be charged as an adult,” Naomi said quickly.

“‘Son’?” Marco squeaked.

“‘Son’?” Holt asked, frowning.

“Yes?”  Peralta stuck his head up, took stock of the scene, and quickly sat back down.

“Son.”  Naomi stared straight at Holt.  “In fact, I will be taking all four of my children, both adoptive and biological, when I leave here today.”

“You adopted me?” Marco demanded.  “Do I get a say in this?”

“Do you have proof to back up your assertion that you are these children’s mother?”  Holt hadn’t broken Naomi’s stare either.

“The way I see it, you have two choices.”  Naomi reached into her purse, pulling out one of her own business cards and setting it on the desk between them.  “Either you allow us to walk out of here, in which case I promise you’ll never see any of us again... Or you continue to hold these minors without formal charges and without counsel, in which case I promise to pursue legal action against whatever stray bricks of this precinct are left standing after my daughter and her friends exercise their legal right to exit the building with as much force as they deem necessary.  Which option would you prefer?”

“See?” Jake whispered loudly to Rachel.  “I knew I made the right call by calling your mom.”

“I take your point,” Holt said, after a moment of consideration.  “Very well, you and your children may leave.  Do keep them out of trouble in the future, won’t you?”

“Thank you for your cooperation, Captain Holt.”  Naomi shook his hand.

Boyle was quickly fumbling for the lock on the cell door.  “Can I have your autograph?” he asked Rachel as she went by.

Rachel looked him up and down, and then kept going without a word.

“Here, I’ll do it.”  Cassie took the paper and sharpie from him.

“Can you make it out to ‘Nikolaj’?” Boyle asked, eyes wide.

“Maybe.”  She uncapped the pen.  “Can you spell that?”

“N-I-K-O-L-A-J, oh and can you add something about always listening to his dreams, and also the music of Diana Ross?”

Slowly, Cassie looked up at Boyle.  She capped the pen — she’d settled for “to Nikolaj, from Cassie” — and handed everything back to him.

“Marco, dude, we’re going,” Jake said.  He currently had both arms around Marco’s waist and was pulling him backward from Diaz’s desk.

“But... but...”  Marco looked up at Diaz.  “Call me?”  Immediately he shook his head and said, “too desperate?”

She smirked.  “Nah, you’re cool.”

He let out a lovelorn sigh and went limp, which was all the excuse Jake needed to haul him over one shoulder and head out of the building.  Cassie and Ax followed, Tobias fluttering up to land on Rachel’s shoulder as she headed out too.  Naomi brought up the rear, casting a pointed look around the room as she went.

“Man,” Jeffords sighed, “I should’ve gotten an autograph for my kids too.”  And then he rounded on Peralta, midway through sneaking the Wing Sluts sauce tub into the trash can.  “What did we learn today, Peralta?”

He considered.  “Lawyers suck?”

“No!” Jeffords said.  “Well, they do, but... Santiago?”

She looked up from where she’d been making an incident report to this exact effect.  “Next time we’re thinking about arresting a whole batch of superpowered child soldiers on questionable misdemeanor charges... don’t?”

Holt nodded gravely.  “Well said, Santiago.”

[tvandenneagram]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Captain Raymond Holt - Type 1w9

Type 1s are conscientious, principled, orderly and judgemental. 1s have a basic desire to be good and have integrity, and they have a basic fear of being corrupt or bad. At their best, they can be discerning, noble and moral. At their worst, they can be highly judgemental, critical and impatient.

Captain Holt is principled, organised and reserved. He is very strict, by the book and holds the team to high standards. Holt is very professional and makes sure everyone in the Nine-Nine follows the rules. He is also critical and quick to correct others when they make mistakes.

At his best, Captain Holt is accepting, wise and principled. As the series progresses, he begins to have more fun and engage more in the team antics (integrating to 7). At his worst, Holt is rigid, controlling and critical. For example, when he is relocated to the public relations department ineffective and inconsequential. Eventually this culminates in a dramatic speech at a funeral about how everything is garbage (disintegrating to 4).

I was debating typing Holt as a Type 5 because he is very reserved and emotionally detached, but these are also qualities that fit a Type 1w9. I think at his core, Holt is more concerned with doing the right thing and making the world a better place, than he is with knowledge. As a cop, Holt works to fight the injustices of the world. He experienced a lot of prejudices, especially when he first joined the force. As Captain, he worked to try and correct these wrongs and strived to use his position to make a positive difference. Additionally, Holt’s dream job is becoming the Commissioner of the NYPD, because he feels that through his experiences with prejudice he will be able to use the power to make meaningful changes to the law.

While Holt does not get the Commissioner job, he stands up to the regressive policies of the newly appointed Commissioner Kelly. Eventually, this leads to his demotion to uniformed officer. Once demoted, Holt acts depressive as he wants to be doing more with his life.

Holt’s relationship with Jake, helps both Jake and Holt as they are complete opposites. Holt acts as a sort of father-figure to Jake and helps to guide him when he is conflicted. Holt’s influence on Jake, helps him to become more serious and professional. Whereas, Jake has helped Holt loosen up and embrace his sillier side.

Tri-type: 1w9 - 5w6 - 3w4

Some quotes to describe Holt’s motivations and traits:

“Nothing's okay. Wuntch is circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?”

“Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place. So thank you.”

“You’re gonna have to try a little harder if you want to scare me. I’ve been an openly gay cop since 1987, so you’re not the first superior officer to threaten me. You know how I’m still standing here? ’Cause I do my job. And I do it right.”

“And now, a message of hope. Everything is garbage. You find something you care about, and it's taken from you. Your colleagues, your dream job, your mango yoghurt. Never love anything. That's the lesson.”

Debbie: “Look at you. Always working. What happened to my fun big brother?” Captain Holt: “Fun? I was never fun. You take that back.

Captain Holt: “Why'd you do it, Bob? Why'd you betray everything you ever stood for?” Bob Annderson: “I spent 14 years bringing down a Mexican cartel. You know what they gave me for it? A letter of commendation with my last name misspelled.” Captain Holt: “In all fairness, Bob, who spells "Anderson" with three Ns?”

[nxtritething]

TASK001 : MUN QUESTIONNAIRE 

name  /  alias : caro / care / carebear gender  /  pronouns : female / she&her where  ya  from  ? : u s of a .  orig n y c. the  current  time :  9 pm ( when i started? ) , 1 pm ( when i finished ) job  or  major :  i majored in mechanical engineering and math. no, i canno favorite  thing  (  s  )  about  yourself :  i have some good one-liners.

why  you  joined  hqclouds :  ... i helped make it. also its felt like a long while since i got to play some of my favorite babes, and i just missed them, so i obviously had to jump at an opportunity to bring them back !!!

meaning  behind  url :  it’s uh...... next right thing ,  as in anna’s big song in frozen 2. and i just felt it like, FIT. 

last  thing  you  googled :  zac efron high school musical gif icons, bc i wanted to use for this, but then that account was flagged as adult content and i guess those beloved gifs are lost to the void now...

zodiac :  pisces in  your  opinion  ,  does  your  sign  suit  you  ? : yes. i am a crying fish. also i’m a pisces venus. it makes a LOT of sense. myers  -  briggs :  istj ??? i think?? moral  alignment :  i can be chaotic good, but mostly neutral neutral i think hogwarts  house : i used to be a slytherin, now i’m a hufflepuff. idk what happened to me.

three  fictional  character  (  s  )  you  see  yourself  in  +  why :  uhhhh... 1) bubbles from powerpuff girls. because i am baby. 2) juliet o’hara from psych. i’ve just been rewatching a lot of psych and i love how she’s such a serious yet funny / soft and idk why i just relate to that. 3) john mulaney in mulaney. because this is a cop-out to say i relate to anything / everything john edmund mulaney every does.

i  started  roleplaying : i first started on some fourms ??? on an app on my itouch ??? but my first tumblr rp group was percy jackson and everyone though i was this all knowing pjo fan... when really i was just fast to look shit up on the wikia. i had never read a single page of the series. types  of  rps  i  enjoy :  fandoms, typically ! i used to be exclusively love animated roleplays? like cartoons? but then i transitioned to musicals? like, exclusively playing musical characters??? at this point, tara is like the one exception nowadays... favorite  fcs  to  use :  um... olivia holt is a recent fave? joshua basset, also. my old faves are mary kate wiles and hunter parrish tho. real old. otherwise, i don’t know if i’d say i get attached to fc’s? fandom  (  s  )  you’d  like  to  write  in : i kinda wanna go back to some of my cartoon roots, maybe? i really haven’t deviated from the same 8 - 9 mostly musical characters in literally years...  fandom  (  s  )  you  aren’t  in  but  are  curious  about :  um... the raven cycle ,  miraculous ladybug  , uh..... everything else. i’m so randomly interested in everything.

share  a  funny  roleplay  horror  story :  my favorite is when i was in a youtuber rpf / oc rp, and this girl... made an oc... and made the fc... herself. she made a literal self-insert oc. with herself as the face. like low-res gifs of herself. why, you ask? i think she was trying to ship herself with dan howell. that didn’t age well, did it?

favorite  canon  muse  (  s  )  to  play : do i just list all the characters i’ve been playing for literal years? my recent faves are katherine plumber from newsies and princess anna. favorite  original  muse  (  s  )  to  play : i had a hunter parrish oc. he was in both the pjo and youtube rp. he was obsessed with hanging out with trees and pranks. don’t ask me why. canon  ships  you  can’t  help  but  love :  kristoff / anna , jack kelly / katherine plumber , jake peralta / amy santiago , orpheus / eurydice , && donny novitski / julia trojan. yes, most of these are musicals. who doesn’t love a good love ballad? trope  (  s  )  you  tend  to  be  guilty  of : uhh... adorkable, one of the boys, badass adorable

i  prefer  .  .  . angst  ,  smut  ,  or  fluff :  i am a massive sucker for fluff, but i’m so guilty of angst... i love pain. i don’t really do smut tho. sorry. long  or  short  replies :  i generally prefer short replies, unless we’ve somehow developed a thread into something long. or i’m feeling particularly inspired. pre  plotting  or  chemistry : i love chemistry with all my heart, but sometimes it’s fun to plot past connections that can reignite? idk. mostly chemistry sentence  starters  or  headcanon  memes : headcanon memes, because im never creative to turn a sentence starter into something that makes sense, esp between two characters who don’t know each other. single  muse  or  multimuse  blogs :  multimuse, because i spent too many years reblogging replies to the wrong sideblog and those days are over !!! gif  icons  ,  medium  gifs  ,  or  static  icons : i prefer gif icons for shorter replies and medium gifs for longer ones... or whatever my partner is using. i like some sort of consistency.

grab  the  book  nearest  to  you  and  pull  a  quote  from  it : ‘ what’s the rush? ’ repeat this phase when you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed out. ask yourself whether somethings really needs doing immediately. are you ignoring your needs in order to do it?  - the little book of sloth philosophy. 

what’s  a  quote  or  song  lyric  that  speaks  to  your  soul  ? : “ did you fall? or did you let go? ”  -  connor murphy to evan hansen, dear evan hansen. ( idk why this immediately jump to mind but... )

top  current  celebrity  crushes :  jeremy jordan, corey cott, jordan fisher, claire saffitz, brian david gilbert. last  movie  you  watched :  bridal boot camp did  you  like  it  ? :  yes. i loved it. it’s absolute garbage and i loved it. favorite  movie  (  s  )    of  all  time : idk but i can always rewatch prince of egypt. godspell favorite  tv  show  (  s  )  of  all  time : uhh.... i keep rewatching psych.   favorite  tv  show  (  s  ) that  hasn’t  ended : brooklyn nine-nine, zoey’s extraordinary playlist. sports  team  (  s  )  you  rep : uh... grew up in a yankee / mets household. favorite  video  game  (  s  ) : pokemon, animal crossing  favorite  youtube  channels : drew gooden, danny gonzalez, jenna marbles.

put  your  music  on  shuffle.  what  six  songs  pop  up  ? :

greased lightin’ from grease live ; oh mother by hunter parrish ; nerds by bo burnham ; a miracle would happen / when you come home to me from the last five years ; just another day from next to normal ; who tells your story from hamilton mixtape. 

i haven’t listened to any of these in forever, but i am still, indeed, musical theater trash.

personal  aesthetic : demin overalls, scrunchies, the color teal, big stuffed animals. dream  vacation  ? : somewhere beautiful with people i love. dream  job  ? : perhaps like designing custom 3D prosthetics dream  car  ? :  i hate driving, but a big ol’ truck. like suv. big one. favorite  musical : gospell, dear evan hansen, bandstand, newsies, shrek the musical, mamma mia, i could go on... unwatched  stuff  in  your  netflix  /  hulu  /  etc :  sailor moon crystal, crash landing on you, locke & key, all the bright places, the half of it, younger, meteor, hello my twenties ...

what’s  a  subject  you  know  too  much  about  +  never  get  tired  of  talking  about  ? : musicals. so many musicals. i know both know too much and not enough.

[carat82]

As the countdown of the US premiere of Sanditon ticks away ( January 12th in case you forgot😉) I’m reminded of the power of fandoms and what can be accomplished, especially in the wake of a show’s cancellation ( if you would like my thoughts on ITV’s decision to not proceed with a S2, I encourage you to read my previous blog) Sanditon is no exception to this.

I must admit I didn’t truly understand what a fandom was until I married my husband 12 years ago and was introduced into the true world of Star Wars (queue the sound of a light saber starting up)

Yes I had seen the movies and knew it had a huge following but this was truly different from anything I had experienced. Cosplay, collecting, clubs, and conventions- Oh My! Through various mediums these fans expressed their passionate thoughts and feelings about the originals, prequels, sequels. It truly was something to behold for me, as even though I had favorite movies growing up and could even quote some of them from start to finish( “What do you mean by breaking that slate over that boys head?” “He called me carrots!” “I don’t care what he called you, you had no right to loose your temper!” AOGG any one?🥰) I had never gone beyond owning the films and watching them over and over. There really wasn’t a way to find other fans of what I liked and interact with. It was the 80’s and 90’s after all. VHS any one?!

The first time I had heard about what a fandom could potentially accomplish was with Firefly ( 2002) Now granted I had not watched the show when it first aired. My husband told me about the one series wonder and the networks decision to not proceed with any more seasons. So I gave the show a try and after watching it could see why fans were quite upset and passionate about the shows cancellation. It truly was a show ahead of its time. But alas, it was not appreciated by the network and met an early death. However, all was not lost. The fans spoke and protested loudly. They had the internet, but not social media like today, to broadcast their extreme displeasure. Their collective voices were heard and a movie ( Serenity 2005) was placed in production a few years later to finish out the story. And down till this day you can still find merchandise and collectibles honoring this unique, fun series. Skip forward to 2018. No, no, not Sanditon yet. Getting there. Another show had aired in the US. Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Again I had not watched the show. But you had to be living under a rock if you did not hear that Mark Hamill posted on Twitter his anger at having this show cancelled. Within 31 hours the network reversed their decision to end the show. Luke Skywalker became a real life hero to the fans, cast and crew!

The show was saved and continues to air. Again the power of a fandom. Yes he is a celebrity but the rest of the fans and other celebs got behind him and as a united group they proved to be successful. Now let’s go forward another year.

2019. Jane Austen. Sanditon.

Anyone who has seen Ep 8 can testify to having their heart yanked from their rib cage and stomped on while we watched Charlotte and Sidney say their goodbyes on the now famous cliffs and tearfully part ways. “Divided for now their love will endure” is what the official site told us. After the initial anger at AD died down and we went through the appropriate stages of grief(denial ,anger, bargaining ,depression and finally acceptance) the fans pulled themselves together and got to work💪🏼. Sanditon had created a fandom and like any true fandom love for the series, it’s characters, and creators began to shine though the dark haze of heartbreak and uncertainty. Gorgeous YouTube videos were created, retelling parts the story from a different perspectives(One of these vids has 100k views already and the show hasn’t even aired in the US yet! ) Others were inspired to write incredible fan fiction to finish the story and see our Sidlotte get their HEA. And yet others took pen to paper and created beautiful art of our beloved characters. All the while staying active on Twitter pleading with the network to renew Sandion. Well, we all know their decision on that. But would that silence us??

It only served to renew our zeal. And so the Sanditon Sisterhood commenced stage 2. If ITV will not renew, another network surely could as Red Planet and PBS both want what we want. And essentially what Jane Austen would have wanted- Our happily ever after. But with the premier in the US happening the following month, we knew we had our work cut out for us. So we have stayed active on MasterpiecePBS social media, countering any negative comments about the cancellation and encouraging the US audience to watch in order to ensure viewing numbers stay strong. (BTW PBS is doing a masterful 😉job of promting this series and we couldn’t even more pleased with their marketing) This week a Twitter party was planned with set hashtags to get Sanditon trending. We were 12th in the UK 🥳. And that was just a practice run. More are planned and will be equally if not more successful. I have no doubt.

But the question remains... will this fandom accomplish what others have? Will we get to see our story finished and Charlotte and Sidney get their Austen-like happily ever after? That remains to be seen. But one thing I do know- This fandom will never be silenced. We are tenacious. We are persistent. We are here to stay. And any network would be lucky to have us in their corner. For like any fandom, our love for Sanditon will not die upon the clifftops but will endure- no matter the cost. #renewsanditon

Update May 6, 2021

Sanditon has been renewed for another 2 seasons 🙌🏻

The power of fandoms 😉

[letsperaltiago]

Writer Tag Game

tagged by @amydancepants-peralta ❤️thank you!!

author name: letsperaltiago (both here and on ao3) 

fandom(s) you write for: Currently ‘Brooklyn Nine-Nine’ and ‘Palm Springs’. A year or two ago I wrote for ‘Skam’ and during my very very young days for ‘The Suite Life on Deck’ and ‘Jessie’ ahah

where you post: Both on ao3 and tumblr! I occasionally forget to repost on tumblr but it rarely happens

most popular one-shot: A bit hard to tell but on tumblr it seems to be ‘I love you and I like you’ and on ao3 it seems to be ‘love is to know that you are on my side’ 

most popular multi-chapter: ‘We’ll sweep out the ashes in the morning’ for B99 and ‘Wayward Hearts’ which I co-wrote with another author for SKAM

favorite story you wrote: i actually really love ‘write your story on my heart: come on and make your mark’, a “missing scene” from 7x13 feat. very very brand new baby mac that focuses on skin-to-skin contact which i just ugh cry

story you were nervous to post: Probably my upcoming ‘Palm Springs’ oneshot 😅

how do you choose your titles?: either it comes naturally from the story or i like to listen to songs that match the mood/storyline and steal lyrics

how many of your stories are complete?: all but ‘We’ll sweep out the ashes in the morning’ (will finish it at some point!) and ‘under covers’ which was just... a mess that i prob won’t finish 

in progress: Palm Springs oneshot! aka. my first smut :’)))) and ‘We’ll sweep out the ashes in the morning’

coming soon: Palm Springs oneshot! By the end of July, I believe. Or latest start August. I’m just currently on vacation with my parents and it makes writing smut... not very intriguing lol 

upcoming story you’re most excited to write: I mean I’m excited to try out my smut skills (if they’re even a thing) with the Palm Springs one, and besides that I don’t have anything planned, I guess. I have some quotes written down that I wanna include in a story but no stories yet 

do you accept prompts?: ALWAYS!

Tag six people: @conner4realsies @elsaclack @johnny-and-dora @vic-kovac @fezzle and @nolookfive (sorry if you’ve been tagged before!) 

[goshikitsutomusmommy]

“Incorrect Quotes with Haikyuu Boys„

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5 , Part 6 , Part 7 , Part 8 , Part 9 , Part 10

Synopsis : Different Quotes From Brooklyn-Nine-Nine as Haikyu!! Characters

Genre : Comedy , romance , comfort (??)

Pairing(s) : Goshiki x reader , Shirabu x reader , Aged up!Oikawa x reader

Word Count : 1.26k

Warning(s) : She/her pronouns used , mention of suicide , drowning , pain signs (??)

Masterlist Link : Here

Goshiki : You’re going to ace this test!

[Name] : You think that because you love me, and love has made you dumb.

Goshiki : I disagree, if anything, love has made me smarter. Remember last week when I boiled that egg?

[Name] : That was big. I was really proud of you.

Yamamoto : She doesn’t like me.

[Name] : So she doesn’t like you. It happens. I mean, not to me, but not everyone has my combination of elegance and charm and grace and poise, and then just gif-ability. Some would say “jif,” but then again some people would also say “ant” instead of aunt.

*On the phone with Shirabu*

Shirabu : *Groaning*, This is the last thing I need!

[Name] : Okay, so sorry about all of this, I didn’t mean to cause you trouble!

Shirabu : ...

[Name] : Oh, also one more thing. I love you.

Shirabu : *Unimpressed silence*, ... I love you too, [Name].

Part 1/2

Kita : We have ta reduce energy usage by 15%. That means no more laminatin’, Aran.

Aran : Oh, that’s fine. It’s not the thing that gives me the most pleasure in life. Interactin’ with others... that’s what gets me going.

Kita : Atsumu, Osamu, lose the chocolate fountain.

Atsumu : What are we supposed ta dip our strawberries in? Our nacho cheese fountain? That’s crazy. Unless...

*Osamu grabs a strawberry and dunks it in the cheese fountain*

Osamu : *Eating the strawberry* ... Kita, ya beautiful bastard.

Kita : Get rid of ‘em. And [Name], ya can’t run that space heater 24/7 anymore.

[Name] : Space heater? Excuse me, this is a Fornax Radiant Comfort System, and her name is Jacinta.

Kita : Okay, well Jacinta has ta go.

[Name], to the space heater : He doesn’t mean that, darling.

Kita : Seriously, turn off the space heater.

[Name] : No.

Kita : Do it, now. It’s an order.

[Name] : Yeah, well, you don’t wanna start a battle of the wills with [Surname] [Name] because you will emerge from that battle a broken man. Not to brag, but I was name-checked in my kindergarten teacher’s suicide note.

Kita : Oh, ma god.

Part 2/2

Kita : Thanks for hand-laminatin’, Aran.

Aran : Of course, if ya ask me, savin’ energy is trendin’.

Kita : [Name], did ya shut off yer space heater yet?

[Name] : Space heater?... Doesn’t ring a bell.

Kita : Jacinta...

[Name] : Oh, no. She’s still going strong.

Kita : A will take that thing away from ya by force, if necessary.

*Manager stands up, revealing 1850’s dress*

[Name] : Well, come and get it!

Kita : Seriously? The heater’s underneath yer skirt?

[Name] : Maybe. You can’t prove that.

Kita : Yeah, a can. There’s a cord runnin’ under it, and I think ya may be on fire.

*Smoke starts coming from underneath the dress*

[Name] : Mhmm... so?

Kita : What do ya mean “so”?!

[Name] : I’m not giving Jacinta up.

Kita : Ya are on fire, [Name]. Ya don’t have the upper hand in this situation.

[Name] : I always have the upper hand.

Kita : Not when there’s flames shootin’ outta yer butt!

[Name] : Especially when there’s flames shootin’ outta ma butt!

*Manager and Kita staring each other down whilst the smoke detector starts going off*

Kita : Damn it! *Grabs fire extinguisher and puts the fire out from the skirt*. How the hell did a lose to that one?

Part 1/5

*The Inarizaki VBC getting shut down soon*

[Name] : Rin, you seem pretty happy. Did you not like volleyball?

Suna : I do, I just am devoting my energy to a new project, Sunazon. It’s a one-stop online portal for my legions of followers. Speaking of whom, *Starts filming on phone*, what’s up, Rin-Hive? It’s your boy, Rin. I’m bored at practice, so I’m gonna prank all my teammates.

[Name] : ... That sounds like a bad idea for an already crappy day.

Suna : Fine, man. I won’t do it. *Walks away*, I will do it, so you can count this as my first prank I guess, unofficially.

Part 2/5

Suna : Hey, Aran, want a cup of coffee? They made an extra one on accident.

Aran : Oh, sure. Thank you, *Drinks the cup and immediately spits it out*. Oh, ma god. What is that?!

Suna : Cement! You just drank cement! Guys, check back in to see if he dies. Ugh! *Choking and gestures death hand signals, stopping the video afterwards*. You’re not really gonna die, probably, okay? Just a little honey for the Rin-Hive.

Part 3/5

[Name] : Whoo! We can save the club, this is amazing news! *Drinks out of cup and spits it out*.

Suna : *Filming the whole thing*, ah, you just drank cement~ You just drank cement~

Part 4/5

Suna : Oh, Gin, you look so sad. You know what would cheer you up? A nice bowl of miso soup.

Ginjima : No thanks, Suna. I’m not in the mood.

Osamu : So, Suna, is the soup up for grabs?

Suna : ‘Samu, no. My followers are sick of watching you eat cement.

Part 5/5

Coach Kurosu : We’d like ta thank Suna. Apparently, the community came to our aid. There was a swell of online support orchestrated by an organization called “Suna-Zone.”

Suna : *Poping from behind a counter*, I think you mean Sunazon. I was behind the counter the whole time. Another great Suna Rintaro entrance.

Atsumu : That’s amazin’! What did ya do?!

Suna : I was live streaming whilst all of you were talking about the club. I guess people were moved. They were like, “What can we do to help?” And I said, “Call the school principal.”

[Name] : The Rin-Hive is real!

Atsumu : A can’t believe ya did it. Suna, yer a legend! Ta Inarizaki Volleyball Club!

Inarizaki VBC : Ta Inarizaki Volleyball Club! *All drink juice, then they groan*.

Kita : What is in this?

Suna : *Filming*, You all just drank cement!

[Name] : Guys, guys, guys, check it out. Tendou fell asleep in the supply room, so I put his hand in a bowl of warm water.

Shirabu : Come on. That’s the stupidest prank ever.

[Name] : Uh, no. It’s the smartest; it involves biology. I bet it worked all ready. Let’s go check!

*At the supply room*

[Name] : Tendou, no!

Goshiki : He’s drowning, he’s drowning!

Semi : Save him, man!

*Reon grabs Tendou’s shoulders and forces them to sit up straight*

Tendou : *Gasping air desperately*.

Shirabu : I take it back, [Name]. Great prank.

Coach Nekomata : Please don’t do anything to jeopardize this. Understood?

Nekoma VBC : *Murmurs of acknowledgment*.

Coach Nekomata : Dismissed, *Leaves the room*.

Lev : That’s a big ‘ole bummer!

[Name] : All right, everybody, just relax. We’re still going to have a great time. If there’s one thing I know, it’s how to sneak out to a party without your parents finding out. I used to do it all the time!

Nekoma VBC : *Unimpressed silence*.

[Name] : Well, I did it a few times.

Yaku : Mhmm...

[Name] : Once to go to a Magic : the Gathering tournament. I got stuck in the window like Winnie the Pooh. There, okay? Now you know everything.

Kuroo : Continue.

[Name] : My mom had to pull me back in by my ponytail... All right, let’s party!

*Aged up*

Oikawa : Check whatever this is out! It’s called The Wasp. It’s for dispersing crowds of young people. It emits a sound that you can only hear if you are 25 or younger. *Turns the device on*.

Takeru : *High pitched screaming in agony*.

*[Name] and Oikawa looking at each other confused, following in Takeru’s screams*

Oikawa : I also hate the sound— that I definitely hear!

[Name] : Me too! It’s so high pitched or low pitched. Oh, that was bogus to the extreme.

Oikawa : So bogus and not tubular. My ears are ringing from the pain of being young.

[Name] : Ugh, so not gnarly.

[fremulon]

fanfic author meme

@areyougonnabe tagged me and tumblr was RUDE and didn’t notify me but i saw anyway! thank you i love talking about myself

Author Name: curtaincall 

Fandoms you write for: currently Good Omens but previously Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Community with a brief detour into Buffy the Vampire Slayer (except the Buffy ones were all so bad that I deleted them) and a flirtation with Parks and Recreation

Where you post: Right now exclusively AO3 but I was on ff.net back in the day and there’s some stuff still up there, I believe.

Most popular one-shot: by hits? toreador, en garde, by a hair by kudos/comments? You’ve Got Kudos, by a landslide

Most popular multi-chapter story: let us sport us while we may

Favorite story you wrote: You’ve Got Kudos was incredibly fun to write and I’m quite proud of it...I love playing with format and I feel like I unlocked a new level of meta there

Story you were nervous to post: Actually also You’ve Got Kudos; I posted and went to bed and then laid there for like twenty minutes worried that the formatting was so confusing that no one would understand what was happening in the story

How do you choose your titles? I like using lines of poetry because I think they sound Classy and Intellectual but then I run up against the fact that my work is neither classy nor intellectual... All the titles I like the best are actually not quotes from anything, just phrases that refer to something that happens in the fic, so I should probably do more of those, huh?

Do you outline? Sometimes! For a multi-chapter story definitely, but some chapters might only have one or two lines of text for what happens in them, and I have a tendency to veer wildly off of the outline if the characters start going in a different direction. For one-shots not really, I have an idea of where it’s going in my head but I don’t generally feel the need to write it out

Complete: 18 works on AO3, there were some that used to be there and have been taken down though, not to mention the ones that were only ever on ff.net...

In progress: i’ve found a way has 2 chapters to go, and I’m also working on my story for the Good Omens Big Bang, which, I’m not sure how much I’m allowed to say about it but it takes place during a historical period beginning with R that Show!Crowley was not asleep for (unlike Book!Crowley), and contains lots of bicker-flirting

Coming soon/not started yet: If I have time before the holidays I kind of want to do a Hallmark Christmas Movie AU/spoof

Do you accept prompts? Sure! I don’t really get any these days and I can’t promise I’ll actually fill ‘em but feel free to send! (for Brooklyn Nine-Nine too, honestly)

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: the chapter of i’ve found a way that I’m working on at the moment contains The Sentence, you know, the one you spend the whole story working up to. So I’m pretty excited for that!

I’ll tag @dissatisfied-starlight @jessicafish and @imperiousheiress but, you know, only if y’all want to!

[stargazing-enby]

A Golden Ball of Fluff

Drarry | Teen and Up | ~370 words | Fluff, Unexpected Pets, Mention of Anxiety, Banter, Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quote (kind of), One (1) Sex Joke | Read on AO3

Written for the prompt “Someone brings home an unexpected pet” for the Drarryland game.

***

“I'm home… what the—”

“In my defence, Luna said dogs helped with anxiety.”

Harry blinked. “There's a Labrador puppy on our sofa.”

“Yeah.” Draco stared lovingly at the golden ball of fluff that was wiggling its tail and sniffing a pillow. “She's two months old. They rescued her from a skip a few days ago.” He glared at Harry. “I've only known her for an hour, but if anything happened to her I'd move heaven and earth to avenge her.”

Harry sighed. Ridding himself of his heavy robes, he sat down beside Draco and brought a hand to the curious puppy’s ears as she stumbled to get to him. “Does she have a name yet?” he asked, already feeling his heart melt as she eagerly sniffed his palm.

“I was waiting for you to help me pick one.”

Harry rolled his eyes, though he couldn't suppress a smile. “How considerate.”

“But I was thinking Artemis,” Draco added, ignoring him.  

Harry snorted. Of course Draco would come up with a name like that. “What about Snuffles?”

Draco grimaced. “That’s the most ridiculous dog name I've heard in my life. It's almost disrespectful.”

Harry laughed softly, though his thoughts had started to drift. He hadn't even considered that name before saying it out loud, but now he had, something about it just clicked. “Yeah,” he agreed in a murmur. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

It was Draco's turn to sigh — rather dramatically, at that. “But you like it,” he lamented. “You have that look in your eyes — yes, that one,” he said when Harry looked at him. “Snuffles it is, then. But I want you to know that every single guest that walks into this house during the next twenty years will know exactly who came up with that hideous name.”

“Dogs don't live twenty years,” Harry pointed out.

Draco huffed, offended, but Harry ignored him. Snuffles was trying to climb his chest to lick his face, and he picked her up, gave her a peck and put her back down. She then inspected his crotch, but Draco was quick to snatch her away. “That's mine,” he chastised. “I'll get you your own toy tomorrow.”

“Are you saying my dick is your toy?”

Draco glared at him.

*** 

Beta’d by @keyflight790, gifted to @rose-grangerweasleyisbae

Big thanks to the @gameofdrarry​ mods for organising this amazing game!

[runicmagitek]

Im kinda sorry, but..: 7,9,12,49,65,77,86,88,149,150,163,170,193,197,202,214,215

Awwww never be sorry! I love this! :D I’ve been having a meh day in an even more meh month, so truly appreciate this!

7. Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? Oh geez, that’s a loaded question. I have such high standards with what I read, so it’s hard to say that there’s a single writer I trust no matter what. I do love Anne Bishop, though I have issues with her most recent works, yet I still enjoy them regardless. I’ve recent dove into Leigh Bardugo’s works and love them, so I can at least trust she’ll have an interesting story, even if I love some of her works more than others.

9. Favorite flavor of anything? I love warm spices like cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, and so forth. And yes, I’m a fan of pumpkin spice because that. Fight me! Raspberry or hazelnut with chocolate is a close second.

12. The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? I like asking people what they do in their downtime. You can learn a lot from a person from something simple like that. What hobbies do they enjoy? How do they prioritize their life outside of work? Do they rattle off a to-do list or just shrug and go, “Eh, not much.”

49. Superpower I wish I could have? Either the ability to freeze time or be like, physically invulnerable with the intent it will punch all my health issues in the face D:

65. What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? I really love the world in the Ephemera series by Anne Bishop. People can create their own worlds by tending to gardens and when they travel between them, they arrive where their heart desires to be, not necessiarly where they want to go. I always loved that idea and would gladly tend to my own garden to make worlds for people who feel they don’t belong anywhere (which is what one of the characters in the series does).

77. What is my current desktop picture? Beatrix from Final Fantasy IX! I named my laptop Beatrix due to the exterior color being called rose gold, so I needed an appropriate background :D

86. Who is my hero? I guess my mom? That’s kind of cheesy, but it’s true. She’s been through so much and continues to be kind no matter the circumstances. I always to aspire to be as wise, compassionate, and badass as she is.

88. What makes me really angry? Some bullshit at work I don’t fucking agree with. tl;dr - a shitty coworker didn’t get fired for something he should have despite HR stepping in.

149. Do I have any tattoos? Yup! I have Rinoa’s wings on my back with the Latin phrase “alis volat propris” (which translates to “she flies with her own wings”) and a semi colon beneath my left clavicle.

150. What is the best decision I have made in life so far? Sticking with my boyfriend of more than thirteen years. We’ve had a lot of bumpy times, but he makes me phenomenally happy and I couldn’t imagine getting through this life without him.

163. What do I love most about myself? I’m not afraid to stand up and speak. If people want my input, they’re going to get it, or in the case of my job, they’re going to get it whether they asked for it or not. I hate being quiet on matters that mean something to me. Nothing gets done by sitting around and waiting for someone else to do it.

170. One of my favorite quotes? “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou

193. What motivates me? Spite >:3c I’m a petty bitch and I don’t care.

197. Something I hated as a child that I like now? Yeesh, probably a lot. Um… dogs (I was attacked by one when I was like, 5), mornings, coffee, pork chops, sleeping, active sentences, and a bunch more I can’t remember.

202. How do I define love? Love is what makes you smile even when you’re too busy to slow down and think about it. Love is what shines through when you’re at your lowest. Love never judges and simply wants what’s best for you.

214. What TV character am I most like? Probably a mix between Pam Poovey from Archer and Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

215. What is the weirdest talent I have? My face is very emotive and I am super bad at holding any semblance of a poker face, which results in making a lot of people laugh :D

[smidnite]

A Christmas Thought.

I was watching The Grinch with my nephew, and I came up with this. My first ever posted fic, so I'm sure it's a hot mess. Non-beta'd, so mistakes abound. Also, I haven't figured out how to do italics at ALL, so all my emphasis is in ALLCAPS. My bad.

EDIT:

@starkerembarker2 learned me how to do italics!!! WOOOO!!!!!!

During his senior year winter break, Peter spends a week at the compound.

During the day, he trains with the other Avengers, or works with Tony in his lab.

During the evening, he hangs out in the common area, eating dinner and watching holiday movies.

And at night, he creeps down the halls and quietly makes his way into Tony's room, and slips into his bed.

As far as they're aware, the team is none the wiser that Tony has been fucking his eighteen year old protege through the bed for the last six months.

That particular night, they'd no sooner finished dinner and started watching the first Home Alone--

(Peter had raised an eyebrow at Clint. "This movie is SO OLD--" "Hush up, kid. This was Macaulay Culkin in his PRIME."

"Uh, kid, weren't YOU the one who insisted on watching quote unquote, classic Christmas movies?" Let it not be said that Tony didn't know how to stir the pot.

"Okay, yeah, but I meant, like, 'The Grinch.'")

--before an alarm went off; A.I.M. having decided now would be a great time to desecrate Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty.

By the time they came back ("Fucking JERSEY," Steve had mumbled in his Brooklyn drawl, everyone nodding in agreement), they were too tired to do anything more than heading to the showers and then bed.

Unfortunately, Tony and Peter were so tired, they failed to realize that Peter didn't even attempt to go to his room, and that Tony hadn't shut the bedroom door all the way. It was enough for them that they collapsed into bed together and fell asleep.

---

Sunrise woke them, the sun not the only thing rising in the bedroom. A sleep soft Peter, lambent from sun, was a treasure to behold, and entirely too innocent in appearance. Tony took immeasurable delight smoothing his hands up and down Peter's body, stirring up his youthful arousal until he was a shaking, whimpering mess.

"Tony, PLEASE..."

"Please what, Tesoro?"

"Stop teasing!"

"Am I?"

"TONY!"

And as much as he wanted to hear his sweet boy beg, he wanted to buried within him more; Tony wanted to hear him SING his pleasure. Peter's harsh sobs and cut off gasps could make a sober man drunk with lust, and when he came---

"!!!!!!"

---when he came, Peter was a VISION, his back arched, nipples rosy, the flush high on his cheeks, body glistening from perspiration, staring up at Tony in guileless wonder.

Tony should have felt more guilt than he did for being the one to defile his angel of a boy, but the reality was he was a shameless devil of a man, who would hoard his treasure from the world if he could.

---

Eventually, Tony and Peter made it out of the bedroom, Peter slipping off to his room so they could shower separately before meeting back by the elevator to head up to the common kitchen. Tony stepped out first, Peter close behind, barely managing to stop himself from running into Tony's back when he stopped short.

Peter peeked from behind Tony's shoulder to see the team eating breakfast, still in their sleepwear, looking towards the two of them with various forms of amusement.

Clint spun around in his seat to face them. "This tower," he gestured with his coffee pot in hand, "is Whoville. We are the Who-People, and you two combined are the Grinch."

"Are you implying we stole your Christmas? Because Christmas hasn't even happened yet."

A couple smile crossed Natasha's face when she murmured, "Christmas came early," before taking a demure bite of her muffin.

There was clear confusion on Peter's face as he watched both Steve and Doctor Banner try to contain their laughter.

"No, see, that was GOOD, Nat, but not the joke I was trying to make. See, Peter is your heart, and YOU are the Grinch who figured out what the true meaning of Christmas is."

Peter glanced at Tony, KNOWING he was going to regret asking, but...

"What's the punchline to this joke?"

"'Well, in Whoville they say, that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day'--and really, I mean the Grinch's Spidey heart came three times today, and Tony 'whizzed with his load through the bright morning light'," he stated with a flourish, before turning back to his breakfast.

It took a moment. And then--

"OH MY GOOOOD," Peter whined, before hiding his face in Tony's shoulder. "You HEARD--OH MY GOD."

"You said that a few times, too." Steve's smirk was WICKED. "You don't have to sneak around anymore, just...keep the door shut."

Un. Believable. They'd KNOWN.

"You live in a house full of spies, and you didn't think we'd find out? How were you that oblivious?"

And before either Tony or Peter could answer, Bruce got up from his seat, tea in hand while heading toward the lab, singing, "I wouldn't touch that with a thirty-nine and a half foot pooooole!"

---

God I KNOOOOOOOW this was bad. Ugh.

@starkerembarker2 @sluttystarker @starkerchemistryy @reniisbooks @brokenmasterpiece @hoe4parker @askmyknives

#starker #smidnitefic