are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these —> we thought a cure would come through in time, now I fear it won’t —> even statues crumble if they’re made to wait
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Its interesting how she throws in "I wouldn't marry me either" as like an after thought in YLM
imo it's less of an afterthought, and more like an explosion of the deep fears or resentments she's been burying. the song obviously starts off sad, it starts of really mellow. and over the course of all the verses, it builds and builds. although ylm is far from my fave taylor song, i love how well it mimics the way a fight, or your internal dialogue, can go from zero to sixty when you're in so much emotional pain and there's so much baggage and long-built bitterness.
it's like the song builds and builds, she's discussing her regret, her frustration with his lack of movement, and then she just explodes.
it's like "i wonder if it's time, i'm so tired of this pain, you're losing me... you've been in denial about how lost we are, i know how much you hate all my pain, but you're losing me... but how long do you really think this could go on!? and i'm pissed! i gave you everything! i was killing myself for you! and i know you never wanted to marry me, well, i don't blame you, i'm everything you said i was, but i only did it because i wanted you to love me!! and now you can't even do that! i'm so over this..."
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the clocks reflection is on 4:30. 4/30
is April 30th which is EXACTLY ✌️ WEEKS FROM TODAY
It’s also National Raisin Day.
It’s also National Honesty Day.
It concludes National Poetry Month.
Yellow Dress photo covering the schedule is the night she sang YLM. Raisin day. @taylorswift @taylornation
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you're on your own, kid → you're losing me
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no because sweet nothing actually being about another relationship, one between an extremely famous musician and his partner supporting him, and dreaming about that for yourself is making me so sad
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Trying not to think about her singing “my one and only my life line” on “Dress” and then “I can’t find a pulse/my heart won’t start anymore for you” on “You’re Losing Me” and her saying that writing The Tortured Poets Department was a lifeline for her and got her through everything.
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So i'll watch your life in pictures like i used to watch you sleep
and i feel you forget me like i used to feel you breathe
and i'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
hope its nice where you are.
Last Kiss - Taylor Swift
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i am haunted by the lyrics “fighting in only your army”
she wasn’t even fighting for herself, giving herself instead to him fully. but would he fight for her too? no…he didn’t even want to marry the woman who would die for him in secret
yup! she was going to war for him and only him (not herself, not in service to anyone else.) imo the implication is that she was not protecting herself either. and he couldn't admit she was being hurt by that!
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You had me in the palm of your hand then why’d you have to go and lock me out when I let you in….And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier fighting in only your army front lines don’t you ignore me…Now you say you want it back now that it’s just late…Now you’re running down the hallway you know what they all say you don’t know what ya got till it’s gone
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WHY
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OK so trying to articulate pt. 2 what's been sitting with me re: You're Losing Me especially in light of the track list dropping:
When You're Losing Me came out, I got the feeling that "I wouldn't marry me either, a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her," came from a place not of desperation/resignation, but spite, at least the portion I bolded. In that, to me it sounded like the words once lobbed at her being spat back at the person who first uttered them -- even if only in her mind. There's an anger an intensity when she sings that part (in contrast to the "see her" part), especially as it comes to the peak of the bridge.
With the information that's slowly trickling out, from the way puzzle pieces are starting to fit together with the background, the references to works of art like The Little Mermaid, Clara Bow, even perhaps Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, etc., I'm feeling more and more confident that that's likely the case. If we're taking into consideration context clues from these like the idea of having to give up what makes you sing (metaphorically and literally) to attain the life you think you want, to keep the love you think you've earned, to let bitterness fester and eat the relationship from within, there's an undercurrent of resentment in those lines about the things that make one person soar and the other recoil.
If I were to make an educated guess about these circumstances, I would think the line isn't about marriage writ large, it's about someone who is fuelled by desires -- in this case, to live out in the open, to embrace her world, to drop the shroud from her shoulders ---- and having those desires shunned by a partner who sees that external validation as debasing. A mirrorball to the whims of the public, as it were. But she is saying, this is who I am and this is what I want, and want you to love me not in spite of these but because of these. It's like she's saying, I wouldn't marry the version of me you think I am (that you disdain). She's trying to say, all these things you don't like about me and my life are what make me me.
In other words, it sounds like the realization that the person who is supposed to be your greatest champion thinks of you completely differently (and unkindly) from the person you are. And perhaps the crux of it is, what am I willing to give up to be the version of me this person wants? How many inches must I give before the miles they take become a runway?
In retrospect, the "Me" she wants him to choose at the end of the song may not just be an imploring to make a commitment full stop, but choosing the person she is vs. the person he thinks he wants, because she's sick of twisting herself into knots trying to cater to him when the goalposts keep moving. Their love comes at a cost to both, and it's one that may erase everything she holds dear.
We're in for a wild ride in April.
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when i thought it was nice taylor had to write tolerate it about a fictional story because she'd never experience that herself
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