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#yo can dm me for the book's name but obviously i'm not going to post it.
starlit-mansion · 9 months
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i feel kind of bad because i followed an author on here because i thought the premise of his next book sounded like something i would like, and i bought it and read half of it and.... ngl it sucks major ass.
it's billed as a romantic comedy and it's painfully weak at jokes, it's chock full of that therapy-talk thing that people make fun of (i lost my shit at one of the lead's ex wife scrupulously listing out her privileges as a straight white cis woman before literally spelling out that she thinks he might be demisexual based on an article she read once. like. who talks like that to their ex-husband. also she's just generally written like if a blank piece of paper was a person*), and it has an absolutely catastrophic case of fanfic pacing (ie something kind of uncomfortable happens and is immediately resolved within or by the next chapter so the plot just bobs up and down in a pool of tepid water rather than having any sort of swell and crash) and it has to instantly file down any flaw that the characters are ever shown to have. (this character's an alcoholic? that's okay, it's safely in his past and barely affects anything other than giving other people a chance to dither about whether or not they can drink in front of him before he assures them that it's okay. he was involved in a scandal? yes but it's not through any fault of his own. the love interest didn't realize he had the capacity to be attracted to a man before reuniting with his trans ex and being into him currently? don't worry, the narration will tell you twice that it's so wild that he's not experiencing any panic about his sexuality whatsoever because he's so naturally chill? the love interest has a demanding restaurant job? doesn't effect the plot in any way because he's never once been unavailable to do one of the 5 or 6 meandering hangouts that have stuffed the book so far, or even been tired or lost sleep even though him having some insomnia was established immediately.)
i keep wanting so badly to just like.... ooh, rewrite it a little bit. i can SEE like 4 places where a little needed conflict could go. I even second guessed myself like "maybe i'm not a good judge of contemporary romance novels because i only read regency romance novels" but then i remembered that's a dumb thing to think. I'm perfectly good at discerning weak plot, empty quip exchanges, and preaching to the choir. it's just kinda bad lmao.
I do think it's funny that i chewed through half of the book while on an edible and then realized as soon as i sobered up that it was pretty terrible actually (to be fair. i was giving it a chance to pay off.... any potential conflicts. but it steadily refused to, and instead sprinkled in the tiniest bits of miscommunication to spin out the mutual pining for a couple more chapters. and a couple more chapters again), but also. i fucking never have anything to say about good books and i think i got $17 worth of value from being able to roast it so thoroughly.
*shoutout to drew gooden for that evergreen phrase, you changed my life
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fatui-harbingers · 6 years
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So, I got this message about my Dany x Drogo is problematic for many reasons post.
I feel like this is very problematic because I've read a lot of bits and pieces from the books regarding her "relationship" and I still believe that it was Stockholm Syndrome. It literally makes you believe you care for your abuser as a way to protect you from pain because that's how your brain works. And, he IS a rapist! A 30 year old dude is not allowed to have sex with a 13 year old (no matter what the 13 year old said) by law in most places so I'm not sure what everyone's argument is here. She was SOLD to him for crying out loud!
Now, I will be blogging about it as I read the books and give my personal take on everything. And I mean EVERYTHING! I'll praise what I love and call out what's problematic because as a feminist, that's what I do. I know things are slightly different in the show and in the books, even major differences is some areas but a 30 year old dude buying a 13 year old girl will never be okay no matter how nice and/or soft he was.
And, I blocked the name because I'm not one to start drama in that manner and I won't be telling anyone who it is. I'm hoping I get the books for my 18th birthday in January but that'll probably take a bit of negotiating with the fam!
Though, I'm not sure if this message was meant to be rude or not, I'm pretty sure I'll still understand that Drogo was a rapist no matter his treatment of her towards the end of his life. Had he admitted what he did, apologized and promised to be better then I would like him more but he didn't so he disgusts me like all rapists that don't own up to what they did.
I'm a very empathic person when it comes to all forms of entertainment (books, music, theatre, TV and film. Sometimes in real life too, just depends) and I can usually feel the emotions as they were written, even if I don't know how the author intended them to feel. I'll know what's going on when I read the books because I also analyze everything (even unintentionally) and typically know what's up before I even form a personal opinion. That's just how I work. I don't typically make judgements right off the bat without all the information because that does no one any good.
Plus, I do a lot (and I mean A LOT) of reading on the brain and it's functions just for fun (and of course knowledge) so even while I don't have a degree to say I'm Smart And Know What I'm Talking About, I'm kinda smart and am pretty confident I know what I'm talking about. It's basic psychology! Of course she would appear to love him when her mind has told her she does! How else would her brain protect her and her sanity? It's a survial kind of thing. Unlike when you're an abused kid and you tell yourself "it's okay. I can get away from here when I'm 18 and I'll never have to see these people again!", her brain already knew there wasn't any way of escaping so, it convinced her she loved her new abuser so she would survive the trauma of his abuse.
As my dad would say, this ain't rocket science people! It really isn't. Basic psychology isn't very hard to understand either. Like, yo, I'm 17 and I seem to be able to grasp this better than a lot of adults (both adults I know and in this fandom). My whole family could even tell you I'm a very knowledgeable person. I'm the only one that keeps up with world politics (or just politics in general) and the only one that pays attention to all the facts, whether I like them or not. I'm even too serious to have any real fun with because of my obsession with learning!
Anyways, I don't ship people with their abusers. I don't ship Daenerys with Drogo just like I don't ship Sansa with Ramsay. I wouldn't be a feminist if I did! You're not progressive in the slightest if you do! Shipping people with their abuser sounds just like dudes telling girls they should marry their rapist (which still happens all over the world, btw!). Forced marriage is wrong as it is so that makes child marriage even worse.
I personally don't think people should be with anyone anymore than 5 years older than them because of how older people try to manipulate younger people. I've seen it in my family and it's just like parents talking down to their child (which I also disagree with but that's a rant post for another time).
The responses to my post regarding the Dany x Drogo stuff were awesome and I was so happy to see all the points everyone made that I didn't even think of! And it was especially good to see the book readers add on to the post as well. I'm very grateful for that considering I don't have the books yet! This has been my only negative response to the post so far and hopefully it'll stay that way because I don't know how much ignorance I can handle before snapping completely.
Oh, and I don't appreciate being told what I will or won't understand! You don't know me, you don't know how my brain works and you don't know how I will interpret something when I read it. Just because you believe something doesn't make it true and/or mean others will think as you do. That's not a very good way to be. You don't know how everyone's brain will take something. And I'm pretty sure I got a private message solely because this person knew they'd get dragged if they commented publicly on my post. Not cool! I'm one of those, if you can't say it proudly in public/to my face the maybe you should rethink your beliefs/views/opinions because they're probably very problematic if you can't.
Now, I'm pretty sure this message was sent for rude shipper reasons but I'm not gonna respond and I still won't if I get a message because of this post. I've had just about enough of all the ignorance coming my way in both fandom and my personal life. There was absolutely no reason to send this message to me when I've made my opinions known. I'm very upfront about who I am and what I stand for, my bio literally tells you all you need to really know about me (so do my posts!). You aren't changing my mind, just as I obviously won't be changing yours.
If you really read my posts and still come back with something like this, you apparently have no reading comprehension skills. I and all the Daenerys stans all laid it out pretty clearly with my post and all the additions as to why Drogo x Dany is problematic. It's super annoying when people read a post like that and come back with "but she consented!" She was 13 and he was in his 30s (and ya know, SOLD TO HIM) you rape apologist. "But she loved him!" I seriously added a screenshot of the definition of Stockholm Syndrome and you still think that? Oh dear Goddess Diana help me, the ignorance behind these responses are driving me mad!
I just need everyone to know, when it comes to ignorant responses, I'm like Taylor Swift. You say something stupid/ignorant imma write a whole post about you. I'm not the kinda gal that sits back and takes shit and pure ignorance without saying something. Keep that in mind! I am a feminist and I critique literally everything so, unless you want a feminist rant on your problematic views, you best stay out of my comments and dms. I stand for equality, human rights and diversity so it's pretty obvious I'm not gonna ship a girl with her rapist.
Again, as I said in my post, WE DON'T SHIP ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS HOUSE!!!
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