#yo he didn't have the traumatic memories but something tells me his growing up was not that easy emotionally

[meteorjam]

Once again thinking about how Dean spent his entire childhood seperated from his parents and siblings for the most part and he basically ends up living with people who are almost strangers to him once his grandma dies and how much it must've been a relief to be able to make that step with the help of Pharm to get to know Don and Del better and to be a better big brother and to overall just feel like he has a proper place in his family. In this essay I'll-

[my-tin-can-mans]

No More Trust

Eddie Munson X Reader, kinda Steve X Reader but it's not the focus.

Notes: Yeah I'm not so sure where this came from but I do love to write good angst. Eddie survives Vecna in this one but at what cost. Italics and flashbacks.

Warnings: literally the whole thing is angst. one small sexual interaction but not actual smut. seriously though angst.

Summary: You and Eddie used to date, but now you are about to get married to Steve until someone from your past shows up, all of the memories of why it didn't work start flooding though. the ending is open for interpretation.

——————————————————————————

“Don’t marry him.” the voice came from behind you. You knew who it was instantly and you felt your stomach sink to the floor. 

Today was your wedding day. You stood in a back room of the venue dressed in a gody white, over-the-top dress. Somewhere in this building, Steve stood in a room with all his groomsmen getting ready to call you his wife. But apparently, it wasn't going to be that easy. 

After everything that had happened in Hawkins in the past years, you felt sad and alone. When the party defeated Vecna you decided to seek comfort in someone. Luckily Steve was looking for the same thing. Dustin, your brother was excited to see his sister, the mom of the group, and Steve his mentor and, well other mom of the group together. 

You and Steve got along well together, whether that was because of all your shared trauma or the fact that you actually were meant to be together you would never be able to tell. You couldn't change the past. Although you wish you could. Before Vecna, well before everything, you and Eddie had been dating. Eddie was everything to you, he consumed your thoughts 24/7 while the two of you were separated, much to your dismay. Eddie and you were practically inseparable except for when it came to his D&D campaigns. That was until you found your brother keeping a demo dog as a pet. 

If you had to look back and place a moment in time where Eddie and your relationship started to tear it would be right there. Dealing with demo dogs had taken a toll on you. Traumatized you. You started having nightmares that you couldn’t really explain to him, so you decided it would be best to not sleep over at his place anymore. He presumed you just didn’t really care for his somewhat questionable cleaning habits so he started trying to sneak into your place after your mom had gone to sleep. 

“Eddie you can’t be here,” you stated stopping him from coming any further into your room from the window he had already climbed through. 

“Why not? Your mom’s already asleep sweetheart and if I remember correctly you said you had to drop your brother off at a friend’s for the night earlier on the phone.” 

“It's just that…” you paused. You couldn't think of a logical explanation and saying sorry I might wake up screaming because there was this one time I was attacked by creatures from another dimension and almost died doesn't really cut it, “my mom suspected I’ve been sneaking out so she's been checking up on me at night.” 

He gave you a weird look not really buying it. “Okay then, no more sleepovers. Got it.” he quipped, turning around with a blank face and climbing back out of the window he had come in from. 

That. That was the moment. Although it took a while for the two of you to actually break it off. That came in the summer while you dealt with the mind flayer. Well, you, didn't really deal with it, that was more for eleven and friends while you dealt with the Russian spies with Robin and Steve. Robin had been your friend for a while and Steve was beginning to grow on you after watching him practically mentor your younger brother. Not having your dad around anymore had really taken a toll on Dustin growing up. You and your mom were the only parental figures he had in his life and you knew he felt like he was missing something, after all, you couldn’t really talk to him about girls the way Steve could, no that would just be weird. So when you found out they both applied to be at Scoop Ahoy separately, this was your chance to combine your friend group much to both of their dismay about the other. 

After being interrogated and being drugged, and everything, literally everything imaginable happening, you managed to land a few scrapes and bruises. If you had just remembered those were there a little sooner when finally getting to have some alone time with your boyfriend, maybe things would've been a little different. 

You were laying on Eddie’s bed, thighs spread with Eddie in between them. He was kissing down your neck, grinding himself into you, “fuck baby, missed you so much, hate that stupid job of yours.” 

“Somebody's gotta be the breadwinner,” you giggled. The giggles turned into a moan when he hit a particularly sensitive spot on your neck while also rutting down into with a particularly rough thrust. 

“Come on now princess, we could live on the streets for all I care, just wanna be with you all the time.” 

You sighed in bliss. Happy to have him back in your arms after such a traumatic past few days. When you were with Eddie it felt like a fairytale come to life, well maybe not your conventional prince charming and cinderella, more just the true love part. 

He kissed down lower on your neck running his hands up your shirt to feel your skin, you were too distracted by the peace that had settled into your bones and the pleasant buzz of your heated make-out session to stop it from going any further. 

“What’s this?” he questioned. Sitting up on his haunches with a more serious expression on his face than you'd seen in a long time. 

“What’s what Eddie?” you asked. He frowned at you, lifting your shirt and pointing to the bruises littering your stomach and torso. 

“Did somebody hurt you?” he asked. Yes, you wanted to say, but it's okay we took care of them, nothing to worry about just your typical Russian spies in Hawkins. 

“It's fine Eddie, just-i just fell down the stairs.” 

The frown on his face grew even deeper, “you don’t have stairs at your house, the Henderson's is a one-story, I should know im the one sneaking in and out of the windows.” 

“Seriously Eds it's not a big deal,” you tried to laugh it off, “you know me im just clumsy.” 

“These are more than just being clumsy, it looks like someone held you down and punched the living shit out of you. Why the hell can't you just tell me what happened.”

“It's not that simple,” you groaned, hiding your face with your hands. Hop made it clear to you all that none of this was supposed to be told to anyone. Now he was gone and you couldn’t bring yourself to disobey him. Besides even if you did tell him he would just think you were lying anyways, it was better to try and brush it off, now that it was all over it didn’t matter anyways you could focus on the two of you instead, you going into your first senior year, and Eddie going into his hopefully final senior year. 

“How is it not that simple, we’ve been dating since you were you were a sophomore, three years, and you can’t tell me why you have some strange bruises on you?” 

His voice was stern. Serious, the mood ruined, you couldn’t distract him with kisses anymore. 

“I just can’t you okay? Can you just trust me and drop it?” 

“Trust you? Seriously.” he scoffed. He moved from between your legs, getting off his bed in favor of pacing in front of it instead, “you want me to trust you after you show up at my house after not responding to my calls for days, telling me you were working extra shifts, even though I called over there and no one answered with strange bruises on you.” 

You opened your mouth the speak but nothing came out. He stopped his pacing to look at you, “are you cheating on me?” he asked before you could think of anything to say. 

“What! Of course not.” 

“How can I believe that! You don't tell me anything anymore, I feel like you're keeping things from me, and I have for a while now, ever since last fall you’ve been acting different, I tried to tell myself it was just the stress of school getting to you, because ya know I never really got that, didn’t really care, but this summer it feels like its getting worse.” 

“Eddie please,” you begged crawling to the end of his bed, reaching out for him, “I love you so much, you have to understand that, I love you so, so much but I just-” 

“Just what?” 

You faltered, “I just can’t tell you what's going on, but I promise you're the only one for me yeah? There's no one else, I couldn’t even dream of that.” 

Silence. Eddie had stopped pacing and was standing in front of you with his arms crossed over his chest, looking at you intently as if you were a puzzle to solve. 

“I don't think I can trust you anymore,” he said solemnly, he looked down at the floor, “and if I can’t trust you, I don't think we can be together.” 

“Eddie please don’t.” he shook his head, still looking at the floor, “Eds, come on, I love you.” you said voice breaking as you reached out for him, “please” he took a step away, so when you grabbed for him you missed. 

“No don’t make this any harder, I already made up my mind, this was just my final straw.” 

So from then on, it was just you and Robin and sometimes Steve. Every once in a while you caught a glance of him in the hallways, giving his infamous speeches at lunch, striding out of the school doors with your brother when it was your turn to pick the boys up from hellfire. Dustin felt bad about joining the club sometimes with the history of you and Eddie, but you insisted it was fine. Nancy insisted that you weren't gonna be picking them up anymore after Mike told her that you almost ran off the road because your teary eyes didn't see the deer soon enough to hit the breaks properly one night. 

That was until spring break, you hadn’t seen him. Hadn't talked to him. And now you stood in the boat house of reefer Rick’s letting Dustin explain everything that had happened in Hawkins that tore the two of you apart you felt sick to your stomach. He was not supposed to be drawn into this. That's why you didn't tell him. Why after he told you to leave, you did and you didn’t look back. Too many people had been hurt and it wasn't fair to allow the same thing to happen to him. 

When everyone started to leave, you stayed behind for a second, wanting to make sure he was okay with all the information that just dropped into his lap. “So,” you hummed, “Chrissy, never knew you were into cheerleaders, would’ve joined the squad a long time ago to get your attention.” 

He huffed at you. “It wasn’t like that, she just wanted something strong, you know I don't keep that shit on me.” 

“Yeah but I also know you didn’t let clients into your house before.” 

“Yeah well that was when there was someone who I cared about stayed with me.” he scoffed at you. 

“Ouch,” you said. Getting up from the pole you were leaning on and heading towards the door if he was okay enough to be snippy with you, he was okay enough to be left alone while you guys handled this, plus you're sure Steve was getting impatient with you. 

Just as you were about to take your first step out the door, he spoke up, “is this why you were keeping things from me? Cause you were dealing with this-” he gestured around, “this shit.” 

“Yeah," you turned around to look at him, his face softening a little. 

“Why didn't you just tell me, I could’ve been there for you.” 

You scoffed, “would you of believed me if I did tell you?

“Probably not.” he signed, rubbing his face with his hands. 

“Guess trust just wasn’t our strong suit huh?” 

“No, you being honest with me wasn’t our strong suit.” 

“You just said you wouldn’t have believed me anyways!” you started to raise your voice a little, “what difference would it of made.” 

“I don't know I guess-” he looked down at his feet. “I guess now I could’ve at least had the closure of knowing it was my fault for not believing you that our relationship ended instead of you keeping things from me and being pulled into it anyways.” 

That wasn’t fair for him to say. Your eyes met again, tears rising to the surface and while you stared at him in silence you could tell he was doing the same. You walked away. Again. 

The gate to the upsidedown was closed and Vecna, the beginning of everything was gone, but you hadn't had to deal with the trauma without Eddie before. You couldn't go back to him now either, not after the conversation you had in the boat house. Not after you, almost saw him die. The image of him spitting up blood replayed in your head over and over again. You and Dustin managed to drag him through the gate and get him help. While he was in the hospital, you all gave your everything to defeating Vecna. 

When it was done and over you couldn’t bring yourself to visit him. It hurt you too much to think about it. Besides you were sure he didn’t want to see you anyways. Not after he practically told you that you were the sole reason the two of you broke up. 

Just because you weren't returning to Eddie didn’t mean you weren't lonely. You missed being able to seek comfort in his arms when things got bad. During the summer after, you hung out a lot with Robin and Steve, only now Robin had Vicky. So sometimes it was just you and Steve. And then well, you and steve became, you and Steve. 

It was easy and convenient. Steve was always complaining about not being able to connect with any of the girls he took out, you were always moping around feeling lonely. So one night when Robin had bailed movie night to sneak out with Vicky, you and Steve stayed together to watch a movie, one thing led to the next and well, that’s how you ended up here, in the wedding dress Nancy and Robin had helped you pick out. 

Your and Steve's relationship was easy, it felt right. Not as right as you and Eddie had ever felt but you were happy. That’s all that mattered. You loved Steve, and he treated you like you were the only thing that mattered in his life.  So when he asks you to marry him you didn’t think twice before you said yes. 

Although after the initial lovesick engagement phase wore off, and you were planning the wedding while Steve worked non-stop, once in a while you looked at the ring and thought, this wasn’t really you. You didn’t want to settle down and have “six nuggets” you weren't even sure if you wanted one, but Steve ensured you that the two of you would figure it out. That wasn’t it though, the ring wasn’t you. That was a silly thing to think but it did make you question things. 

If Steve couldn’t get you a ring that was you, could he really know you? He knew about your trauma, about your life, but was that enough, did he get you? You couldn’t help but wondering what type of ring Eddie would’ve gotten you if he had ever proposed to you. You shook that thought from your mind whenever it came up. 

“Don’t marry him.” he repeated. 

As you turned around to look at him your eyes fell upon Nancy and Robin, both standing there wide eyed, probably mirroring the same expression you had on your face. 

Eddie stood in the door way. Token band shirt and black jeans. For obvious reasons he hadn’t been invited to the wedding, “what” was all you could muster up. 

“Hey bud I dont think this is a really good time ya know? What with it being her wedding day and everything maybe this conversion is a little late.” Robin spoke up. He turned to look at her, glaring daggers, “Or ya know maybe this is a great plan Eddie,” she spoke sarcastically, rolling her eyes. 

Eddies turned his attention back to you once your friends rambling had been quieted, “don’t marry him.” he said for the third time. 

“Eddie what the hell do you think you’re doing.” 

“You might be happy right now but i know you, once that wears off and you move to the end of the culdesac and settle in, your not going to be.” 

“Alright I think thats enough” Nancys voice was stern. She walked over between the two of you, breaking the gaze. 

“Hey it’s okay nance, I got this,” you said placing a hand on her shoulder. “Why dont you and Robin you check up on the kids, make sure their behaving, give me a moment yeah?”

She turned to look at you, “you sure about that?” you nodded holding her gaze for a moment to make sure she understood, “holler if you need us yeah?” you nodded again and then she was walking about of the room with Robin behind her. 

Once the door has closed you turned you attention back to Eddie, “let me get this clear, I have loved you since the moment I layed eyes on you, I tired to protect you from all the bad shit in my life and that wasn’t good enough for you, you didnt trust me, and then when you did find out the truth, it was my fault. My fault for trying to protect you, my fault for our relationship ending, my fault you couldn’t take me at face value and see that all I wanted was to love you. And when I finally moved on, finally found someone who appreciated me, you come and crash my wedding.” 

“Look I’m sorry I just-” 

“No you don’t get to be sorry Eddie, you practically broke my heart twice, isn't that enough for you?” 

“Hey thats not fair you broke my heart too, I had no clue what secrets you were hiding.” 

“Were not having this conversion again, it didnt turn out well two years ago lets not do it again.” 

“Fine it’s in the past, but still, youre not gonna be happy with Steve!”

“I wouldn’t be marrying him if i didn’t think i was gonna be happy.” you scoffed. 

“I can see it in your eyes, sweetheart. Please just give me a another chance, things are different now I know everything theres nothing to hide now.” 

“Eddie please don’t do this, this isn’t fair.” 

He had been pacing this whole time in front of you, just like he had the night he broke up with you, he stopped again this time, instead of telling you to leave though he stepped forward and pressed his lips into yours.