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thaenad · 6 months

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Hey. I love your work so much on your other blog (and have even sent anons there) but since this one is more feedism-related than fat lib related I figured I’d send it here, I hope that’s okay.

Do you have any recommendations for people with this kink who are so deeply ashamed by it that they haven’t been able to tell anyone about it their entire lives? I’m alloace and never had a partner partially because the only sense of sexuality I have is this kink and I have always felt like that makes it almost impossible to truly connect with a partner without knowing 100% they’re into it beforehand. And yet, I have so much social anxiety that I hardly meet people period and given the shame surrounding this kink I kind of assume anyone who I’d really click with would never tell me they were also interested in this and wanted me to feed them unless we’re already in a relationship. I can’t even be open and honest with friends about it because I’m terrified of their judgement especially because I AM so pro-fat lib and have been so vocally around them and I dunno. U saw all those anons u got lol.

I dunno I’ve just resigned myself to never having that kind of intimacy but it’s hard sometimes when I know deep down that it’s what I want. Do you have any recommendations for what I can do to start being more open and honest about my sexuality and hopefully feel a lot less ashamed? (For the record I am very sex-positive, for everyone but me if that makes sense. Lmao.)

Hey there anon, it's absolutely okay! I'd love to have more of these conversations with fellow feedists on this blog, especially since it's a much safer space for all of us.

Oof. I just wanna reach through the screen and give you a great big hug. I can completely relate to what you're going through right now (also as an alloace). I struggled with the exact same fears before coming out to anyone 5-ish years ago. It's so hard to feel like you have to hide or deny such a big part of who you are, and I hope you're doing okay. Just sending me this ask is a great step towards self acceptance, because connecting with other people who get it can help so much. If you need to talk, my inbox and dms are always open. ❤️

I will say the most monumental step for me was talking about it out loud with someone. Although the shame may cause paranoia, I promise that you can tell your best friend and they will still love you. Yes, the backlash from fat libbers on the internet is scary, but they don't know us, we're just a concept to them. The people who know you already know that you are not a predator. The people who know you know your intentions are good, they love you, and they want to support you. If they listen to you with compassion when you express yourself other times, they will listen with compassion when you talk about this.

The fact that you are passionate about fat liberation means you have already crossed the biggest obstacle when it comes to self acceptance for feedists: knowing that there is nothing wrong with fatness. Most people take their entire lives to discover that fact (or never do), and you are already there. And from what it sounds like, you are surrounding yourself with fat positive friends. That's huge. Take a minute to celebrate yourself for that.

If you decide to open up about being a feedist to anyone, be selective. Fat positive people are safer because they already understand the basics. They already know you're passionate about fat lib, being a feedist won't negate that, it will make sense. Most people actually have no idea what feedism is, so you might have the chance to explain it for the first time in a way that is positive, and that can be incredibly validating and empowering.

The person you share this with will know how hard it is for you. The first time I opened up to my best friend about it, I wept on her shoulder. Nothing changed between us except I felt seen and supported, and now she sends me posts with food and teases me about fat guys, and we laugh about it, like she would with any friend. It's made me feel so much more close to normal.

If that feels impossible right now, that's okay. Keep talking to feedists online, keep seeking community. I had to make friendships with feedists years before I could even imagine telling my own friends. The more normal you feel, the less scarier it gets.

It can be really, really hard. I ended up seeking therapy because I was struggling so much with shame. I knew I needed it, but for years I put it off because I didn't know if I could trust a therapist, I thought they might diagnose me with a sexual disorder and try to give me conversion therapy! Needless to say, that was the shame talking. Fear can cause our minds to heighten things out of proportion. It also took years of conversations out loud with a friend or two to finally be able to talk about it in a therapy setting. This shit takes time. After I discovered fat liberation, flung myself into the research and dissolved some of my own fatphobia (the BIGGEST step of all!) I ended up searching for a fat-positive, kink-conscious therapist, and guess what? They exist! They are 100% sex positive, understand the principle of bodily autonomy and that health does not determine a person's worth, and will remind you of those things over and over. I still see my therapist, they've always been in my corner cheering me on. They've helped me through the shame and fear, and they've helped me navigate my sexual & romantic relationships as a feedist. It's one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself.

Here's a post I made on how to find feedist-friendly therapists.

"I have always felt like that makes it almost impossible to truly connect with a partner without knowing 100% they’re into it beforehand."

I feel the exact same way. It was so isolating and horrifying before I realized that I don't have to date non-feedists. I know this is something that will likely take a LOT of healing first, but I want to share my experience just so that you can see what a potential future looks like. First I tried dating on feabie, got into my first relationship, but it ended very badly for me. Again, it took a long time, but eventually, once I knew my self worth, knew that there are lots of people out there who will be into what I'm into, and could spot red flags, I was able to disclose my preference for feedism on regular dating apps. I didn't care what strangers thought. Some people asked me what it was all about, politely expressed that it wasn't for them, and we parted ways. It is such a relief to have potential partners know I'm a feedist up front. I eventually met my current partner and the love of my life on Hinge. I had feedism in my profile and he sent me a message saying, "hey! I'm into that too." If a feedist relationship is something you feel like you can't live without, I want you to know that it's possible for you. If you tell people what you're looking for, they will come. You'd be so, so suprised. But it takes a while to get there. The fact that you want it for yourself is huge, and I am so proud of you for reaching out for support.

Take it from someone who lied awake every night in agony, crying and worrying and wishing I just had someone out there to tell me that it was going to be okay.

Please know this, dear heart:

It's going to be okay. ❤️

#feed the inbox #self acceptance #community #conversations #kink positive #feedism community #feedism kink

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ralphiesaces · 8 months

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hi!! the pundit!jenson/driver!seb idea has me obsessed, i cannot stop thinking about it *crying emoji* i need to know everything!!

i don’t wanna give too much of the plot away but ofc!!!!!

i already mentioned that jenson was never an f1 driver but he still tried!! he raced all the way up to 2000 (right before he entered f1) and had to stop

so officially the story will take place in 2012, the year after seb’s second championship

it’s jenson’s first year actually covering f1 though! sticking to motogp and the lower levels like formula renault for comfort reasons

he’s still friends w mark and i mention pretty early on that mark is the person who persuaded him to come to f1

pundit!jenson obviously still has a lot of knowledge about the sport first hand, especially what it’s liking growing up surrounded by it and not quite making it to the top

for those reasons his insight seems to make him more likeable than other pundits/reporters bc of experience

and we’ve all seen jenson, who doesn’t love his cheekiness and humour in interviews

bc of his personality and connection w mark he gets close to the main members of the grid, or at least familiar w them

im kinda new to f1 so i can’t guarantee that the terminology will be any accurate but here’s what will be: jenson still comes up w the britney nickname lol

(he means it affectionately)

okay now about sebson

obviously jenson’s heard about him before bc of mark’s complaining and you know, him winning a championship

but they’ve never actually met and bc of jenson’s slight aversion to the sport before the story takes place, he didn’t know what he looked like

but they meet and jenson doesn’t realize but he’s immediately entranced

seb can keep up w his humour and man what’s more important than that

they don’t interact too much in the beginning

but you know, seb enjoys jenson’s interviews along w the rest of the paddock so they get pretty comfortable w each other

uhhh then plot happens (dm me and i can tell you lol)

also most of the story will be from jenson’s pov

some side plots!!!!

after they become friends, seb will watch jenson’s interviews just to hear his voice

mark had a karting bday party that year and invited some of the grid— jenson beat half of them

(the reason that jenson stopped racing isn’t public knowledge so they kinda just thought it was bc he was bad lol)

the media starts including jenson when talking about the grid out of habit (at least when they’re talking about non-racing related topics)

jenson parties w mark and fernando the most (bc ofc he would) but never drinks too much (ooc but related to plot lol!)

uhh yeah i can’t think of anything else rn and i don’t wanna share too much publicly but yeah!!!!

also share your thoughts too!! i’d love to have someone else’s input! 🫶

this will be posted on ao3 after i finish (which might be a while sorry)

- banksway on ao3

#jenson button #sebson #sebastian vettel #f1 #formula 1 rpf #formula 1 #formula one #op #aliferous #pundit!jenson au

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identitheoret · 1 year

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My Thoughts on the Story/Lore of “Ashes of Memory: Part 1”

(I might make this into a video if I have time btw)

Hey guys, IdentiTheoret here! :)

I’m not really sure what else I need to say here before I just jump right into my thoughts on Ashes of Memory. I think this Tumblr thing will actually work super well with what I’m aiming for here, but I’m still kinda new to it, so if you guys have any tips for me there I’d love to hear them. And my DM’s are also completely open, so you guys can ask me directly about literally anything you like or need help figuring out, lore related or whatever else you wanna talk about or say to me.

Anyways I guess I’ll just get right on into my thoughts now.

First of all, I had like no idea they were going this hog wild with changing up everything in terms of how the system works. I wasn’t keeping up a whole lot with the update prior outside of the one major teaser, so when I hopped on after maintenance and saw everything they changed I was kinda stunned.

I won’t be going with any particular order of events, rather I’ll try to go through each particular topic with all the details in mind from the beginning to end of Chapter 1.

Alice DeRoss (Reporter)

When I first saw her in the teaser I was like “Eh, not sure how to feel about her, it’s a little jarring seeing her like this.” And I didn’t even look back over it again to analyze because of the stuff I mentioned in my update video that was draining my energy. Although even then, I thought the idea of following adult Alice was absolutely dope.

But then I played the new story and got an actual good look and feel for this version of Alice and—OH MY GOD SHE IS SO FREAKING PRETTY LIKE AAAAAAH I CAN’T 😳🫠

Seriously they did such a good job with these new designs. And they kinda had to because they were gonna have far more normal designs outside of just Orpheus. I’m not going to go into any detail about my opinions there though, I’ll save that for a separate post soon after this one. I’m just looking at the story and lore right now.

So when it comes to everything leading up to her visiting the manor, they don’t really show off anything too odd. After her separation from Orpheus when they were kids, Alice suffered great social trauma/isolation, which we knew a bit about already with certain letters. But what we didn’t get to see was what happened after she left the orphanage. I was assuming maybe her trauma was going to mess her up in the long term, and if it didn’t I assumed she was going to lose her memories entirely or something because it seemed like things were just that intense during her time in the orphanage. But no, she has a fairly decent memory of her past by the looks of it. However, just like Orpheus in Time of Reunion, we are told she has little memory of the actual events of the manor tragedy, and in general some of her memories are a bit hazy. Not to mention the fact that she doesn’t find anything to be odd about Orpheus when she meets him in the manor.

Yeah, she hadn’t seen him since they were super young, but as we’ve seen before, the nickname of “Orpheus,” was a major detail of the two’s past friendship, because it represented their bonding experiences of making up stories and playing characters. The Orpheus nickname catching on and eventually being the name young Alice used for him exclusively was meant to show how close they were. But by the looks of it, she doesn’t remember the nickname at all.

And sure, it doesn’t mean she should immediately be like “ 😱 Oh mah gah that’s the same name it must be him ☝️🤓 .” However, this detail doesn’t even strike her as odd in any way. This could just be nothing, and she just decided to pay no mind to it, but when it comes to Identity V writing, these things are usually pointed out afterwards at the very least with a little “Huh, [Insert Minor Detail] is pretty odd” sorta thing. It happens a lot.

Outside of that, there’s not a whole lot she’s gotten involved in yet. I mean, it is only Chapter 1, so it makes sense. BUT, I do still have one thing to mention about her.

After you complete Chapter 1, you’re given the S-Tier Costume “Moment of Leisure.” And well, I mean, just look at it.

(Yes I am aware of the fact that one is a dress and the other is sleepwear but like, c’mon)

It’s possible that both the adult and child characters we always see together are probably BOTH meant to be Alice. There was really no reason for them to include this costume otherwise. Although, we do see in both the cinematics and in summaries by Orpheus that the older woman was a mother to the girl, and that she died a “horrific death.” Of course, the mother thing would make sense to conclude from Orpheus’s perspective so we can pretty much ignore that, but what about the death and it’s importance to the “Little Girl” after that? How would that fit into any of this?

Well, I have somewhat of an idea to propose for that, and for quick context I need to bring up two simple details: First, the character lineup was likely intentionally different from what we were expecting with Melly/Norton to draw attention to how the timeline’s gonna work out, since we know the Melly/Norton/Orpheus game was the last one Orpheus participated in before the amnesia and all that. And second, most of Alice’s personality and character in general is centered around her persistence and vigilance, literally stating word by word that in the face of her past traumas and mysteries, she needed to “Face it, and it’ll all be over.” This wording about it being “over” also specifically draws attention to the idea of moving on after facing the issue instead of just facing it persistently and learning to live with it or something like that.

So, with that all in mind, this is my early theory for how I think this is all gonna go. Either:

Alice will find the answers she needs to understand the missing bits of her past so she can come to terms with it, and she moves on while Orpheus stays in his ways. And maybe after Alice finds out who Orpheus really is, and she realizes he is actively choosing not to face his own traumas and is beyond persuasion, she escapes the manor and leaves him behind because she simply has to move on. The depictions, both written and seen, of her “horrible death” would be based in Orpheus’s (subjective, rather than objective) view of her facing her issues head on and suffering through the worst of it before she finally is able to overcome her sorrow. To her, she would be getting through the worst of it to finally rid herself of the prolonged pain she’s felt for so long. But to Orpheus, that short phase of pain needed to overcome his trauma seemed far too horrible of a thing to be worth suffering through. Thematically speaking, this would definitely make sense (and because the depictions of the “mother” and girl are clearly not literal or direct about their meaning at face value). All the depictions of young Alice trying to guide Orpheus are things he put into his own head from a deep regret for not listening to her and a desire to have her take the lead for him once more because he doesn’t feel like he can rely on himself to change. But these feelings are still hidden under his repetitive denial, and that’s why it’s something he doesn’t know he’s aware of yet.

Alice dies during the game, either because she wants to try and save Orpheus from himself and fails, and/or because Orpheus starts to believe he can do it but hesitates and gets her killed in the process. This would make sense because most of the themes in Orpheus’s story center around his inability to stay firm in what he needs to do with his trauma, and to not look back with doubt based on what he’s done before. And this would also tie perfectly to the Orpheus myth of him turning to Eurydice with doubt and dooming her to the Underworld, leading him to a life of sorrow and regret in the land of the living. Since this is, well, Identity V, I am pretty certain that this aspect of the myth is intentionally tied into Orpheus’s theme of traumatic repetition and him constantly choosing not to look forwards. This persists in most of the elements of his story, especially with the major details such as the “Don’t Look Back” line that comes up a whole lot when you think about it. So assuming that to be the case, and also assuming that Alice dies, we can conclude that she becomes a spirit in the form of her past younger self as she embodies that wholly innocent part of her life, and maybe just to make herself easier to recognize to Orpheus I guess…? The reason why she’d stay in the form of a child is harder to explain here than it is in the other point. It’d make sense why the child version would be there when accompanied by the older version because it was so long after Orpheus saw Alice that he separates his view of her into his memories of what he thought she was like and what she is now in front of him. That also explains why he tries to see her in the exact same dress as the younger version of her, because at the core the two versions are still the same person.

Those are just my initial thoughts at the moment. I may build onto these conclusions more later on after giving it more thought or when we see more of the next chapter. I guess I’ll leave my thoughts there for now though and move on.

“Orpheus” DeRoss (Novelist)

Well, there’s not much to say for him really. Same’s gonna go for the other two as well for the most part because of how early we are into this, but I do want to point out the way he interacts with everyone. It sometimes may give off a vibe like he knows way more than he lets on, but I don’t think that’s the case. I think the depiction here is still accurate/still will be accurate going forward with the explanation given in Time of Reunion about him having his memory wiped over and over. I don’t think he is actually aware of anything behind the manor in this state. The way he pushes certain details and questions towards others, like the point about betrayal directed at Melly about her insects, and the other point about Mary’s French heritage with Fredrick, seem to just be derived from his intrigue for drama stemming from his interest in writing. He likes a good mystery and finding little things out. We even see him do this with Alice herself in the cutscene after Chapter 1, where he asks her to play the piano for him in exchange for some information on his new book. Besides that, not much needs to be said here.

Fredrick Kreiburg (Composer)

Okay, imma just be real here, I am COMPLETELY lost when it comes to this guy. I was really confused when it was revealed that he was going to be one of the four main characters of this thing, because the guys literally just came out not that long before and we didn’t even get like any buildup for him in the lore before his release. And when it comes to his connections to the racecourse with Mary, like yeah I’m completely clueless. But that actually has nothing to do with the Mary thing though, because I was well aware from the start that there was the theory that Mary wasn’t the actual Mary Antoinette but rather a noblewoman of some sort (based on bday letters if you’re confused). And I knew it was probably true, and was most likely gonna be important later on, but I still was just like “Nah I don’t care right now I’ll just wait on that one.” And now it’s already introduced but I’m still confused about like, why?

I will say one thing though, all the details surrounding that weird Mary subplot, such as the “was it a suicide or a murder?” mystery that’s almost treated like a legend, and the way the death is presented generally, and how the backlash against the racecourse afterwards is completely directed towards one man in particular, and how everyone just kinda goes like “🤷‍♀️🤷‍♂️ Uh idek why she did that 🤷🤷‍♂️,” it all gives off MAJOR Atropos Ropes vibes and it’s definitely intentional. Not sure how to feel about that just yet, but that’s mostly because of my big lack of understanding about anything Mary/Kreiburg related.

Not only that, but look at the way they describe the legend of the past owners of the manor and the mysterious death of the male owner’s female lover before the closure of the course and selling of their manor before some seemingly random dude who is clearly a descendant (Fredrick) suddenly shows up upon invitation from the new owners, and he is is heavily associated with a certain art expression and deals with social pressures.

Like, dude. That’s literally the plot of Lone Moon from T&I. The husband is the Knight, Mary is the princess, and Fredrick is Narcissus.

(+ We have already gotten thematic connections between Lone Moon and Atropos Ropes in terms of the themes of repetition and supposed fate, but we also have literal connections through the Amethyst Duchess, linking Narcissus to Bella (aka, you know, Mary)).

And also, I think the way they use the racecourse specifically of all things leads me to believe that there must be a connection to COA 4. And no, it has nothing to do with the horse imagery in that story, because that was directly linked to Cavalier and his Don Quixote inspirations (but if you wanna get refreshed on that go watch my COA Lore vid). The reason why they did horses here and not cars is simply because, well, rich people shit.

The thing that really makes me certain about this, outside of the obvious specificity, is once again that reoccurring theme of repetition and mistakes from those who came before. It’s present in Atropos Ropes, it’s present in Lone Moon, and it’s definitely present in COA 4, because that story is entirely based around that concept. And all of these have strong connections to either the manor’s history or the DeRoss family, which I highly doubt is a coincidence based on the theories about the DeRosses I’ve been making for the past while.

Melly Plinius (Entomologist)

Not much to say about her either. She’s got that same weird personality that we’d expect from her, and talks about the betrayal thing in a very weird way with connecting it to bugs. But the most important thing I can really point out so far about her is how she has little to no importance of any kind to the events going on regarding the manor and the Kreiburg racetrack. I think this has something to do with what the devs want us to notice about how this timeline works, since Norton hasn’t appeared yet. So I’m guessing Fredrick either dies or just leaves and is replaced by Norton sometime in the story. Knowing how weird some of the other diary stories were written, I’m sure Fredrick just gets like a little bit deep into how he may be involved with the racetrack and the Baron as a result of that, gets uncomfortable and goes like “Nah no thanks” and just kinda bails. I’m not even kidding, I could see that happening tbh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, anyways, that’s all I have to say for now. Like I said before, I’m already planning another post sometime soon, and I’m also thinking about making this post into an actual video as well, but I’m not sure which will come first. Thanks for reading, I’ll see you guys again soon💖💖💖

#identity v #idv #idv lore #identityv #ashes of memory #truth and inference #alice deross

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conjuring-ghouls · 2 years

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Hi, everyone!

✶ This is my Ghost sideblog and where I post/reblog anything related to them. I can only follow, like and send asks through my main blog, so if you see haunted-desert creeping into your notes (lmao), that's me!

✶ You’ll see a lot of Copia around here cause I'm totally obsessed with him!!! I also love the other papas and the nameless ghouls though so I reblog them as well. Sometimes I reblog fics and mature content, so you might wanna be 18+.

✶ Feel free to reblog anything around here! It's also ok to use my gifs as long as you let me know about it (just cause i’d love seeing what you used it for!) and credit me 🖤

✶ I'd love to find more ghost mutuals and chat with people about them so feel free to reach out to me at anytime! My asks and DM’s are always open in case you need someone to talk to. I enjoy chatting and would love to meet some fellow ghesties! 🖤

✶ I'd also love to be tagged on fics, fanart or any ghost posts (this blog is a safe space to thirst over the papas 😈)

✶ This blog is also a safe space for lgbt people, poc, women, and literally everyone. No form of hate/racism/sexism/lgbtphobia will be tolerated. Be loving and kind! 🖤

That’s all! Thanks for checking out my blog and welcome!

Tags: #my gifs #my edits #my writing

#i hope this isn't too long and boring!#welcome to my blog (:#pinned post

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kiwiana-writes · 7 months

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1. I hope you feel better soon!

2. If you aren’t comfortable answering this or if this is overstepping, please just delete and ignore. You’re the monarch of kink and I’ve been a little overwhelmed by google, so I thought I’d ask you. The more D/s fic I read the more sure I am that I’m a sub. The interest in subbing isn’t new, but the sheer amount of space it’s taking up in my brain is. My partner is on the ace spectrum and I’m trying to figure out the best way for me to experiment. (She’s happy to try, but has no real interest in it and it doesn’t come naturally to her.) Do you have an recommendations for resources/communities that might be a good place to start exploring or talking to folks about this? TIA. 💋

Hey anon! Super safe space and you're definitely not overstepping, so don't even worry about it.

First of all, fucking love this journey for you, for real. Second of all, I wasn't super clear from your question whether you're looking to explore with other people outside of your relationship or just by yourself, so as with anything else, take what works for you from the below and discard what doesn't!

Have you come across Fetlife yet? This will obviously depend a bit on where you are geographically but they can be a GREAT resource for in person communities, meet ups etc. If you're interested in chatting to people/making local friends in the scene, look for any details about "munches" which are strictly social meetups, no one is going to be playing at those (unlike, say, a house party). There'll generally be greeters at those whose entire job is to talk to newbies and make them feel welcome. There's also plenty of online groups on FetLife, message board style, for basically any specific things you might be into that you can think of.

If this is something you're going to be exploring with other people (either your partner or others) I highly recommend reading up on sub frenzy. It doesn't seem to come up as often as things like sub drop and the basics of safewords/safety/etc but I think it's a really really important thing to be aware of as you dive into the world.

I don't want to like... overwhelm you but slide on back here any time, in the ask box if you wanna stay anon or into the DMs. Happy to point you in a few more specific directions if you need it ❤️

#anonymous

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prpfz · 2 months

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🐈🐈🐈🐈 Looking for a Baldurs Gate 3 rp!!! 25+ only (im 26) I’d love to play my tiefling durge and I'd be looking for MxM, with ocxoc or ocxcanon! My durge is a bottom switch! Because my tiefling is the dark urge, there will be lots of nasty things plus I enjoy writing them myself (nothing is too extreme or taboo for me! I'm fine with 🍪, incest, beastiality to list some stuff off, though they aren't necessary) but to start the rp with, he will still have the amnesia from the beginning of the game and these dark urges will appear randomly<3 We can keep the rp plot similar to the game plot, or do our own little things! I enjoy plot and smut equally, especially if the plot leads into it, so I enjoy working towards the fun stuff! With that, I'm lookin' for new friends and long term RP partners! I'm always open to communication, whether it's something that needs to be changed, what we can do better, etc! I'd also enjoy just chatting OOC about silly things and joke around some<333 I write third-person, past tense and I prefer bigger, more descriptive replies compared to short, quick ones! Please don't interact if you prefer the smaller replies tho</3 Nothing personal, it's just what I enjoy doing the most hehe Please only reach out if you actually wanna work on something together, too many ppl have reached out and we'd talk about it but then they'd just ghost for one reason or another<33 If interested, please dm @el-garden ! It's my side account so liking this post won't do anything as I wanna keep my main blog private ;v; thank you, hope to meet you guys!

DM @el-garden if interested!

#baldur’s gate 3 roleplay #baldur’s gate 3 rp #fandom roleplay #fandom rp #oc x oc #oc x cc #m/m #dead dove #25+ rp

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peppermintbuttlemon · 8 months

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i gotta add to the discourse bc you keep taking the literal thoughts from my brain and i love it (same soho anon from yesterday getting my unmoderated goss fix in since ive gone off the grid online - so this is long)

i literally only like him bc i think he’s cute imma be so real w you. (he is mid i know my friends dog on my terrible taste all the time and he fits my tragic pattern) i saw him in game of thrones in 2019 and was like hello and wanted to slide into his dms but was not possible bc no ig (that we knew of lol) and it became a whole joke with my friends that my celeb crush was some rando who was in game of thrones for 3 mins and then when he was in ST it just became a whole bit. when he did a con by me it was a literal 2 minute walk from my house so my friend and i went just for the plot and he was actually nice when i took my photo. idk it also might have just been early so he maybe had pep in his step but i was going to leave and he stopped me mid walk and said “thanks for coming” (obvi the standard to be polite) and i literally just said “ok” bc i was hungover and that dystopian ass JC Penny portraits curtain cubicle was disorienting me LMAO. i will never ever go to one of those things ever again. then like an hour later saw his big head active on raya.

re: weirdo fans

i have literally talked about this on other goss blogs bc it rubbed me SO WEIRD and everyone dogged on me for saying it/it was mentioned/denied in some twt thread but one of the weird fans mentioned before was hanging out with a girl that literally jogged after someone on his team and was like “what i don’t get a hug???” like you’re so bizarre but okay. they can deny it all they want but i literally watched it sitting on that musty ass convention center floor. y’all ain’t gonna gaslight me w that!!! i literally could give you a police sketch description of them if i had to💀

i feel bad for ppl that had bad experiences when they pay for it (and i know he made BANDS on those cons. like a ridiculous amount) bc clearly it means more to them than it did for me but in regards to like in public or on the street meeting him and being upset - yall gotta realize that ppl don’t you shit just bc of what they do for a living. i’d be too embarrassed to go up to someone and be like “yeo love your work” while they’re just trying to get from point a to point b or eat dinner

re the reminder that he’s just a south london dude:

there is a type!!!! they all act the same as someone who’s dated 3 of them (i have no self control and clearly do not learn from my own horror stories) they have the same attitude, ego, mindset, etc. and i have come to the conclusion that if i actually knew him irl id probably hate him or try to argue with him for fun because of it. i live to humble men and at the end of the day he is just a man!!!! a man who is basically a glorified theatre kid when you think about it

re: https://www.tumblr.com/peppermintbuttlemon/741588680956952576/httpswwwtumblrcompeppermintbuttlemon74157782

can say i do not recall what he smells like but my friend always says he looks damp so we do call him a name about it (i don’t wanna add just in case someone on twitter recognizes that it’s me lmao)

DAMP 💀💀💀😂😂 oh my god I love it!!

So what’s the south London guy thing? What are the symptoms of this disease? 😂

#joseph quinn #josephquinn

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softxsuki · 3 years

Note

hey, if it's okay with you, i wanted to put in an urgent request.

this is fairly triggering, so i do understand if you don't wanna write this.

could i please request a mikey x reader where the reader self-harms and has previously attempted suicide, and their friends found out. they reacted by laughing in reader's face and calling her horrible names like 'barcode' and other stuff. this causes reader to relapse and - only if you wish to write this, if not that's completely okay - attempts suicide again. mikey finds out what happened with reader's friends and that his s/o attempted again.

----

this is something that i've recently gone through and it hurts so much. luckily, i have other friends that are more accepting and that are helping me, but what my other friends have done is really hurting me.

feel free to ignore this if you're uncomfortable :)

with love,

-senju

Mikey With Reader Who Attempts Suicide Again

Pairing: Mikey x Gn!Reader

Warnings: Mention of suicide attempt, mentions of death, mention of self-harm (I'll mark in red anywhere there's anything graphic or triggering so you can avoid if you need to) some minor character death spoilers from the anime

Genre: Angst, Comfort

Post-Type: Oneshot

Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: In which you attempt to take you own life again after your 'friends' make fun of your scares. Draken informs Mikey that you're in the hospital and he rushes over to see you and comfort you.

[A/N: Hey Senju! Finally got this written for you, it took me longer than I thought it would take to write. I got stuck in a few places so I had to take a break and come back to it with a fresh mind a few times, but it's finally done! I'm so sorry you had friends that treated you that way when you needed support. Those weren't friends at all and I hope you've kicked them out of your life already! That is completely unacceptable and you deserve way better, but I'm glad that you do have a few friends who are helpful and supportive. I hope this oneshot can provide you with some support during your time of need <3 I tried my best! It's my first time writing for Mikey, so apologies if it isn't that great :/ I'll keep working hard to improve my writing! Sending you all my love and support! My dm's are always open if you need a listening ear or someone to talk to/rant to. <3 Side note: I've only seen the tokrev anime, so this is Toman!Mikey. I hope that's okay! Annndddd I wasn't sure what to write the attempt as, but you mentioned self-harm, so I just made it that reader (TW) cut too deep]

“Y/N’s in the hospital, Mikey,” Draken blurts out as he leans forward, out of breath from running to meet with the blond.

“What? Why? What happened?” Mikey cries out, jumping to his feet at the news his friend just gave him.

Draken sends him a sympathetic look before continuing, “Suicide attempt. I overheard Y/N’s ‘friends’ mention that they were taken to the hospital. Mikey…they were all laughing and saying how weak Y/N was for letting their words get to them. It took everything in me not to jump them as soon as I heard that, I knew I had to tell you first.”

Mikey was beyond livid, but the panic he felt after hearing what happened to you, was even stronger as his brows crease in concern.

“Ken-chin, take a few of the guys and sort those ‘friends’ out. I’d love to kick them around a bit, but I need to go see Y/N. I trust you’ll all handle this for me?” He asks his friend.

“Of course. Leave it to me,” Draken seethes with the crack of his knuckles.

You were close with all the Toman members; they all treated you like a younger sibling due to you being in a relationship with Mikey. So hearing that people who were supposed to be your friends, were talking so horribly about you would definitely have them all riled up and ready to fight.

Mikey jumps on his CB250T and races towards the hospital Draken told him about briefly. His heart hammered in his chest as thoughts swirled around in his head. What condition were you in? Were you stable? Were you awake? Why would you try to take your own life? Why would you try to leave him alone? His thoughts only made him rev his bike as he rode even faster through the streets, not a care in the world for the speed limit, red lights, or any stop signs he encountered–he needed to see you.

Arriving at the hospital, he jumps off his bike and runs into the large building, heading straight for the front desk.

“Tell me where L/N F/N is,” he blurts out of breath, “Please.”

The woman at the front desk gives him your room number and yells after him to not run in the hallways as he dashes in the direction she points to.

“Y/N, baby!” He shouts desperately as soon as he reaches your door and slams it open.

Thankfully you’re awake and your eyes meet his for a split second before averting your gaze, not having the courage to face your boyfriend just yet. You instinctively hide your arms under the hospital blanket and turn your face away to look outside the window instead. You were still in a regular hospital room as the doctors were monitoring you and making sure your cuts were on the way to healing before they sent you to the psych ward for further evaluation.

Mikey sighs in relief at the sight of you alive and alert, and takes a seat beside your bed in a chair that was already there. He’s internally blaming himself for not being by your side more often so he could have noticed or been there for you to tell your friends off before you had a chance to attempt to take your own life again. It was eating him alive that you could have been gone instead of alive and breathing next to him.

He gently takes your arms and looks at the bandages on them, trying his best to keep himself composed before leaning down and pressing gentle kisses to the bandaged skin and you allow him to. Of course you weren’t mad at him or anything, you were more so embarrassed that he knew what you had done and that your attempt failed–that thought made you feel guilty though. You love Mikey and you know leaving him would mean hurting him, but at the spur of the moment, it felt like your only option.

He looks at your profile for a moment before talking.

“Why? Why would you try to leave me alone like that; Like how Shinichiro and Baji left me. I can’t lose you too baby,” his voice quivers as he hides his face in his hands after gently letting go of your bandaged arm.

He’s overwhelmed by the thought that he could have just lost you forever and it’s eating him alive. Instead of feeling your warm hands that comforted him everyday, he could have been feeling the stiff, cold hand of a lifeless version of you–the thought alone terrified him.

The constant beep of the heart monitor next to you echoed in the small white room, making the silence feel even heavier. You didn’t know what to say to your boyfriend. You know you disappointed him, but in that moment when you were ready to just leave the world, only your pain and memories of that pain were on your mind. You had completely forgotten how wonderful Mikey had made you feel; How at home you felt in his arms. You knew that he loved you for you and no matter how dark and ugly your past was, nothing would change that.

“I’m sorry,” you croak out, finally turning your head to face him, filling the silence after a few minutes.

By then Mikey was a lot calmer, but still very worried about you.

“There’s no need for you to feel sorry. I’m sorry for blowing up like that. You have no idea how worried I was baby,” he whispers, reaching out for your uninjured arm so he could hold your hand. He still needed that reassurance that you were indeed okay and sitting beside him, alive.

“What happened?”

You shake your head, not wanting to relive the taunting voices of your friends who had pushed you over the edge. You still can’t believe you let their mocking get to you, to the point where you tried taking your life again.

“I already know what happened,” he admits, “I just wanted to give you a chance to say it if you wanted to. But don’t worry, my guys are taking care of your so-called ‘friends’ as we speak. I’d love to see the pitiful looks on their faces right about now, but I have more important things to worry about—you.”

He brings your hand to his lips and peppers kisses to your skin, sending a warmth that crawls up your spine.

“Mikey…” you warn, “You didn’t have to go that far.”

“Of course I did!” He protests, arms flailing around, “No one messes with my baby and gets away with it. They’re just lucky you’re okay right now or they’d have it ten times worse. I mean what kinds of friends make fun of you at a time when you need support?! I still can’t believe it!”

You smile softly at his protectiveness. That was one thing about Mikey, not only did he always make you feel loved, but he protected you as much as he could whenever he had the chance. He’d never allow anyone to touch you without your permission, let alone speak to you in the horrible way that your ‘friends’ did.

“How are you always able to make me feel so much better with just the sound of your voice and feeling your touch?“ You ask him in a hushed tone.

Your voice brings him back to reality as he was mentally kicked the ever-living daylights out of those people that made you take such drastic actions, and he’s instantly in golden retriever mode–eyes sparkling in your direction at your praise.

“I’d do anything for you baby, absolutely anything.”

And you knew that. Mikey would probably destroy the whole world looking for you if you ever went missing.

You reach over and run your hands through his hair, knowing he loved the way you played with the silky tresses. You thought you’d never get the chance to see him again. As soon as you cut too deep and started losing consciousness, you instantly regretted it as Mikey’s smiling face finally flashed before your eyes, reminding you of your boyfriend that you’d be leaving behind. You never wanted him to lose that smile permanently, not after how hard you worked to make sure it remained on his face after all the people he had lost.

Silent tears fall down your face at the thoughts running through your head and Mikey instantly reaches over to wipe them away.

“It’s all right. Everything’s gonna be just fine now, leave everything to me,” he coos, leaning in to kiss away every tear from your face.

After a few more minutes you end up crying yourself to sleep, exhausted from the events of the day and the emotional weight you had been carrying. Mikey remained by your side the whole time and somehow managed to convince the staff that he would stay the night. Maybe he threatened them or something–all he knew was that he was never leaving your side again.

The next day they rolled you into the psych ward for further evaluation and kept you under surveillance for a few days after that. Mikey was still there, visiting you everyday as he wasn’t able to by-pass staying with you. The doctors managed to convince him that you’d heal quicker with lots of rest on your own and frequent visits from the staff.

When everything was said and done and you were finally free to go, Mikey was there again, but this time with the rest of Toman as they engulfed you with open arms, glad to see you back on your feet.

“Okay okay, that’s enough. Everyone off my baby before I kick you out of my way,” Mikey whines, squeezing past everyone to get back to your side where he belonged.

You laugh at his little pout and squeeze his hand before directing your attention to the boys who had slowly become like a family to you.

“Thank you guys for coming, it’s great to see everyone’s face after being stuck in that hospital for so long.”

They take turns talking to you and making sure the hospital treated you well before everyone disperses and goes back to their homes or wherever they need to be. Mikey remains by your side, your hand still firmly held in his as he looks at you with love in his eyes.

“Shall we head out?” He offers you your helmet that he kept with him all all times whenever you rode with him.

“We shall,” you smile and take the helmet from him, placing it on your head as he aids you in clipping the straps under your chin, finishing off with a kiss to your lips and a cheeky smile.

You kiss him back and laugh at his cheekiness before hopping on the bike behind him and wrapping your arms tightly around his waist as he takes off.

There was still a long way to go before you’d be fully better with everything, but you took Mikey’s advice and kicked out all the toxic people out of your life that had made fun of you. You knew Mikey would be glued to your side from now on and you had the whole support of Toman backing you up as well. With all their love and support, you could definitely overcome anything.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 2/3/2022

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ultraintrovertedgryffindor · 3 years

Note

Can you do a fic about you being Will’s celebrity crush and him talking about it in an interview? I love your writing so much

Of course, sweet Anon!😊Such a cute idea, I was pretty much giggling and smiling like a baby while writing this honestly lmao

~~~~~~~~~~

Will wasn't normally the type to talk about crushes that he had, especially during interviews, but there was just something about you that made him unable to shut up.

"So, who is this special person that you love talking about so much?"

Will immediately blushed, grinning nervously at the interviewer's question. "How'd you know about that?"

The interviewer laughed. "Your costar, who I interviewed before, said you kept going on and on about this actor. They said I should bring it up."

"Oh, of course they did. They love embarrassing me. Okay, um, recently I've been a bit enamored with this actor I discovered. Y/n L/n."

"Oh! I've heard of them! Been in a lot of fantastic movies. I can see why you're so smitten."

Will knew he must've been beet red, his face so hot he felt like it was going to melt off. Thankfully, the interview ended quickly and he didn't have to embarrass himself further.

It wasn't that long ago when Will first found out about you. He went to see a movie with his friends, and it happened to be a movie you starred in. After that, Will made it his new hobby to watch every movie you'd ever been in. Even the first films that you were in. Watching interviews of you, you seemed like such a nice person. He shared a lot of your views and opinions, he almost couldn't believe you were real.

Being in the same career field, Will held out hope that he'd meet you one day. But alas, he's never even been in the same area as you yet. Of course, his friends had to tease him about his newfound crush. But they were also supportive in the idea that he'd meet you one day. He didn't think it would be any time soon. But that voice in the back of his head loved to focus on the "what ifs."

Will was on a press tour for a new movie he was in, so he was almost too busy to even think about possibly meeting you, which he was kind of thankful for.

In your neck of the woods, one of your friends sent you a link to a YouTube video.

Now, your friend loved trolling you, so most of the videos you got sent were just Rick Rolls. The thumbnail was of Will Poulter smiling during an interview, and your friend knew how much you admired him as an actor. You knew it was probably just another troll video, but your curiosity got the better of you.

You were surprised to see that it was, indeed, an actual interview video. But you were even more surprised to see your name in the title.

Will Poulter On His New Movie and Celebrity Crush: Y/n L/n! 😱😱

Clickbait, obviously.

You usually hating feeding in to that kind of clickbait shit, but you were anxious to see if Will did mention you at some point in the video. You were pretty much giggling like a school girl as soon as you got to the part where he talked about you. You awed out loud when you quickly noticed how red his face turned, but you kind of started to hate that interviewer and their line of questioning. You were pretty private about your personal life during interviews and the like, so you could imagine how uncomfortable you'd be being asked questions like that. But, you could only speak for yourself.

Then, you got a mischievous idea.

You were acquainted with one of Will's costars, so you decided to send a quick DM to them with an idea.

A few days later, Will was exhausted from all the press stuff he had to do for the new film, but it was a good exhaustion like it usually was. He had one more interview to do that day then he'd have a couple days off to relax, which he was excited for. He was thankful he didn't have to do the interview himself, a couple of his costars would be joining him this time.

The interviewer came in, did the usual greeting and congratulating on the success of the movie and expressing their positive opinions. Will could've answered all the questions in his sleep, having to answer so many that were pretty much the same. It was almost like he could put himself on autopilot if the interviewer focused on asking questions to his castmates.

The interviewer directed a question at Will, and he internally sighed. "So, have you gotten the chance to meet that actor you love so much?" The interviewer grinned excitedly.

Will hated how easily he blushed just at the sound of your name. "Ah, no. I haven't. I doubt it'll be anytime soon, if ever, so I'm not going to get my hopes up. But as of right now, I hope I don't meet them cause I'd probably embarrass myself."

"Aw, that's a shame."

Will froze, tensing up and his blush deepening. He turned around in his chair to see you, grinning beautifully. "Oh my god..." He uttered, too shocked to say anything else.

"Hello, everyone!" You greeted, giving a quick hug to your friend.

Will looked at his costar in disbelieve. "Did you do this?" Will's costar grinned proudly, nodding confidently.

"Well, if you don't want to see me right now, I can leave."

"No!" Will quickly blurted out, much louder than he intended, causing you to giggle. "Sorry, uh," He was at a loss for words, your presence such a surprise that he could barely form a sentence.

"That's okay! I wasn't planning on crashing for too long. I'll see you guys when you're done." And with that, you left the room, leaving the interviewer to finish their questions.

Will was pretty much in a stunned silence for the rest of the interview, which elicited some teasing from his castmates. He was so anxious for the interview to end that it felt like it was going on forever, so when it ended, Will all but ran out of the room to see you waiting patiently outside the building with your headphones on, mouthing along to whatever you were listening to.

You quickly noticed Will's presence, taking off your headphones and walking up to his with an approachable smile. "Well, hi there! Hope I didn't give ya a heart attack in there!" You laughed, it was like music to Will's ears.

Will shook his head with a nervous smile. "I've never had a heart attack before, but I imagine that's as close as I've gotten so far."

You laughed, placing a hand on his arm. "Sorry!"

Will tried to shake of the immediate spark of electricity he felt at your simple gesture. "It's fine. It was good, it was really good, you got me. So, I'm guessing that was my castmate's idea?"

"No, it was mine, actually."

Will furrowed his brows with a small smile. "Really? Why?"

"Well," You drew out flirtatiously, "I saw that interview."

Will groaned, running his hands over his face as he felt his face heat up for the third time that day. "Oh god..."

"Hey, don't worry! I thought it was really cute." You smiled.

Will looked through the crack between his fingers to look at you. "You did?" He tried to hide his wide grin.

You nodded. "I did. I really wanted to meet you. And since you were close to my town, I thought I'd surprise you."

"Well, consider me surprised." Will chuckled.

"So, if you're not doing anything later, wanna go get a drink with me or something?" You smiled while slightly nibbling on your bottom lip.

Will smirked and nodded. "I'd love to."

~~~~~~~~~~

Wow, I actually love how this one came out. It's so cute and my mouth hurts from smiling😂

#will poulter #will poulter imagine #will poulter x reader

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strawberrymilkgeorge · 4 years

Text

Part One. George: the definition of “hello, have you met my friend?”

warnings: none word count: 1568 (not including pictures) *** Bugsy is Y/n’s username! I got too attached to change it to y/u/n so change it in your mind if you’d like :)

behind the screen (irl dream x reader) series masterlist

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Y/n sighed lightly as she set her phone on the desk in front of her. Her eyes traveled back to her monitor, where George was sharing his screen on Discord as he practiced speedruns. Y/n and Sapnap were on call with him to keep him company.

The cold air around her nipped at her skin, sending chills and bringing goosebumps. She pulled her hoodie closer to her body, tucking her feet on her chair to curl herself in a ball.

"This run sucks," George mumbled. "I thought it was going to be good."

"It would have if the village actually had anything useful," Sapnap commented. "There was a lava pool at spawn and everything."

"What do you think, Bugsy? Should I start over?"

She hummed, squinting at the screen. "Yeah, you should."

He left and started a new run.

"Karl's replies on Twitter are always so funny," Sapnap giggled after a few moments of silence. "He's so formal."

"I love that kid. That's my best friend right there, no cap," Y/n said with a smile. She and Karl had been friends for a few years now. They met through their parents being friends and shortly found out the other streamed and quickly bonded over that as their fanbases grew.

"Did you see Wilbur's response to your tweet?" Sapnap asked. "Man wrote you a letter."

"What did the tweets say?" George asked, half-listening as he focused on his run.

Sapnap read them and George laughed through his nose. "How could you ask for a Minecraft boyfriend while you're literally on a call with us while I'm playing Minecraft?"

"Just keeping my options open," Y/n laughed. "Don't worry, I'm wearing a GeorgeNotFound hoodie as we speak."

"I'd be worried, George. There are quite a few proposals in the responses."

"Shut up," Y/n muttered, a smile on her face that she was glad neither of them could see. "George, you remember my roommate is in love with you, right? Don't upset her by being jealous of boys coming after me."

"You're an idiot," George breathed out in a laugh. "No, she's not."

"She is. Very much."

"No, no, she isn't."

"George," Sapnap sighed dramatically. "Just accept that you can be loved."

"You're both idiots, okay?" George laughed awkwardly. "This seed is terrible," he groaned.

"Wait!" Sapnap yelled. "Village on the left!"

George quickly turned and ran towards the village to loot it. Y/n watched with Sapnap as George found iron and a few other valuable things.

"Oh! This might be okay."

"Bugsy?" Sapnap asked slowly, sounding confused.

"Sapnap?" she replied in the same tone.

"Have you not met Quackity?"

"No. What made you ask?"

"I just saw his response to your tweet."

"Why are you two on your phones? I'm speedrunning!"

"Because you still haven't made it to the nether on any of them," Sapnap bit. "How are you best friends with Karl and you haven't you met Quackity?"

"I dunno. I just haven't. There's a lot of people I have only spoken to through Twitter replies."

"Like who?" George asked.

"Why are we only talking about me?" Y/n asked in slight frustration. She wasn't fond of talking about herself because she wasn't used to it. "This is George's stream."

"Well, now I'm really curious so I wanna talk about this," George laughed. "Who haven't you met?"

"I dunno!" she said, flustered. "Quackity, Wilbur, Dream, Tubbo, Tomm-- wait, no I met Tommy. He yelled at me."

"Wait, wait, what?" Sapnap interrupted.

Y/n paused but neither of them said anything. "What?"

"You haven't met Dream?" George asked, sounding equally as confused.

No one said anything. "No? Why is that surprising. I mean, we've joked through tweets and stuff but I've never played with him or actually spoken to him."

"What about DMs and stuff?" George asked.

"Nope. Dream is just thirsty in my replies like Wilbur," she joked, feeling the anxiety of the awkward pauses seep through her skin and touch her bones. Why were they being so weird about it? "Why is that so shocking that a man with, like, 15 million subscribers has never spoken to me?"

Sapnap laughed. "I'm just genuinely surprised that he hasn't reached out to you before."

"Yeah, me too," George agreed. "He talks about you in a way I thought you guys were good friends. And you're friends with us so I just assumed you were friends with him too."

Y/n laughed, nervous at the mention of being talked about. "Well, he must be a pussy or something because I have yet to receive any acknowledgement from Dream Was Taken besides him occasionally replying to my tweets and Instagram pictures."

George laughed suddenly, making Y/n look at the monitor with George's screen quickly, which wasn't moving. "What happened? Did you find something?"

"No," George's screen began moving again and he started building a portal. "Dream just texted me because he's watching the stream."

"What did he say?" Sapnap asked.

"He said, 'can I join the call? I don't want Bugsy to think I'm a pussy'," George answered, lowering his voice to a mumble before adding, "And something else he'd probably kill me if I said out loud."

Sapnap and George laughed at Y/n's silence. She was only joking, not intending to challenge him to talk to her. Honestly, she was relieved he had never spoken to her because he intimidated her. Meeting people made her nervous and Dream was no different. If anything, he was worse because he was a big deal and he kinda flirted with her sometimes, which gave her butterflies in a way she didn't like.

"I'm adding him to call," George announced.

"Wait, you're not going to check if I'm okay with meeting him live in front of 80,000 people?" Y/n asked with a small, nervous laugh.

"No, because it's my stream. I can do what I want. I can't live another second knowing you two have never talked."

"I think Bugsy's scared!" Sapnap coeed.

"I think so too!"

"You wish," Y/n muttered.

A small sound emitted from Discord, notifying everyone that someone joined the voice chat.

"Hello Dreeaamm..." George dragged out as he navigated the nether. "I made it to the nether, Sapnap. Will you get off your phone now?"

"Yeah, I guess. Hi Dream!"

"Hello," Dream said casually. "Hello, Bugsy."

Y/n lowered in her chair more, pulling her hood up and closing it tight over her eyes. No one could see her but his voice made her feel seen.

Sapnap giggled and George laughed. Dream breathed out a laugh. Y/n responded with a small, "Hi."

"Bugsy, you're such a liar!" Sapnap called out. "You are so scared."

"Shut up, Sapnap!" she chuckled.

"Scared of what?" Dream asked innocently.

"Meeting you," George answered. Traitor.

"Forgive me," Y/n started, sitting up in her seat and pulling open her hood to watch George play, "for being nervous to meet Mr. Speedrun in front of a huge live audience." She decided to joke around to hopefully ease the nervousness under her skin. "I'm just worried he's going to flirt with me again and I'll have to embarrass him in front of everyone by rejecting him again."

They all laughed.

"I mean, you already said Karl was in the lead for being your Minecraft boyfriend, so I really have no shot," Dream said.

"As if I'm letting some girl named Bugsy steal my fiance!" Sapnap yelled.

"Ah!" The attention was ripped away from Y/n as George screamed. Y/n looked at the screen, watching as her friend was getting attacked by a hoard of zombie pigmen.

"Why did you hit one, George?" she teased.

"I didn't mean to! AHH!!" he screeched, making everyone laugh. "STOP ATTACKING ME!"

"George!" Dream laughed. "Just run, you won't be able to kill them all!"

"I'm trying!" George fell in lava and screamed again. His death appeared on the screen and Y/n could hear him slam his desk. "That run was so good until the zombie pig came out of nowhere."

He started a new run and it was quiet for a moment before Dream's soft voice spoke again. "Well, Bugsy. I hope you forgive me for taking so long to speak to you."

"I-I was just kidding about you being a pussy," she mumbled, making him laugh.

"No, it's true. I was."

"Come on, Dream, sliding in my DMs is easy," she joked. "You could have if you wanted to."

"Trust us," George laughed, "he wanted to."

"What?" Dream asked George loudly, making Sapnap laugh.

"Dream, you talk about her all the time. George and I were both led to believe you were already friends based on how you talk about her."

"How I talk about her? What does that mean?" Dream sounded defensive and it made Y/n smile.

"You're always like, 'Bugsy did this' and 'Bugsy tweeted that', and 'I have to do a face reveal before Bugsy does because she'll outshine me'," Sapnap teased.

"Okay, the last one? I never said that. You're lying about that."

"But the rest of it is true?" Y/n teased.

"Look, you play good and your tweets are funny! I didn't come on here to get bullied, oh my gosh."

**********

A/N: this is my first time attempting a social media fic so the theme of this series is gonna be ignore the number of likes/retweets and stuff just know that y/n is a much smaller streamer she only gets a lot of likes and stuff when it involves other mcyt ya know okay fun times

Please give feedback!! I hope you enjoy it!!! I don’t have a schedule right now but I might in the future if this series gets a lot of attention :) as of right now i’ll try to update at least once a week!

#real person fiction #rpf #dreamwastaken x reader #dreamwastaken x you #dreamwastaken x y/n #dream x y/n #dream x reader #mcyt x reader #mcyt x y/n #smau #dream smau #dreamwastaken smau #social media fic #dream social media fic

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marvelouspeterparker · 4 years

Text

all worth it

pairing: tom holland x interviewer!reader

summary: tom is an actor, doing interviews is a part of his job. but there’s just something about you that makes him feel like the stress that comes with press tours and interviews is all worth it.

warnings: none, just fluff

notes: literally got this idea from looking at an onward interview gif (the one where he recites the lines from back to the future, iykyk) also imagine the pandemic never happened in this jfskgh

so tom loves his job, obviously

he gets to be his number one favorite superhero, make people happy, do what he loves, and more

but that doesn’t mean that there are no downsides to his career

there is actually a lot of stress that comes with being in the limelight and that includes people constantly watching your every move, being critiqued, questioned and put on the spot

and the perfect time for all this to occur? during interviews

now some of the time, interviews are nice, sometimes they’re even fun

but unfortunately a lot of the time, the same questions are asked in each and every one, one after the other, for hours on end and it honestly gets very boring and very draining very fast

so to be quite frank, he wasn’t expecting much when he walked into the next room for his last interview of the day

but when you walked in, he couldn’t help but perk up a bit

you were pretty and you seemed very nice as well, greeting everyone, including the crew as you made your way over to tom, jacob and zendaya

some of the interviewers would just walk straight to their seat and start the questions almost immediately, no warmth in their manners––but you, you were different

you shook each of their hands, smiling wide as you said hello

you couldn’t really contain your enthusiasm, you were a big marvel fan, and a fan of each of them, so you couldn’t tame your smile even if you wanted to

your energy was infectious and tom was more than grateful for it

when you reached him, he looked into your eyes deeply and you had to snap out of your daze before you made a fool of yourself

‘hello darling’ he licked his lips as he looked up at you, a gracious smile on his face and you blinked a couple times before responding

‘hi it’s––so nice to meet you, i’m a big fan.’ you turned to look at the others, ‘of all of you, really.’

they all ‘aww’ed and accepted your compliments, thanking you as you took your seat

when you were given the green light to start, you gave a curt nod to the crew behind the cameras and started right away

you were professional and good at your job, making the cast feel welcome and at ease after a long day of work

you told jokes, asked interesting questions that others hadn’t and since you were a marvel fan, you were able to ask specific questions that showed your genuine interest in the comics, the films, the plots and more

tom could feel himself getting more comfortable as the interview went on and the smile never left his face throughout the entire thing

when it ended and they turned the cameras off, you all felt a bit disappointed that you would have to say goodbye so soon, you were all having a good time and genuinely laughing so hard that your cheeks hurt

you thanked them all for their time and jacob was quick to wave you off

‘no thank you––i think we can all agree that we saved the best for last today.’ he looked to his friends and they nodded along

zendaya chimed in ‘for real, this was fun.’

you smiled, honored that you managed to make their day a little better and tom spoke up quietly, making you turn to look at him

‘yeah this, this was really great. thank you y/n.’

you could feel your cheeks heating up but you nodded, smiling as you tried your best to calm your raging heartbeat ‘my pleasure’

tom would have loved to speak with you more afterwards honestly, but unfortunately as soon as he exited the room, he and his friends were being ushered towards the next location for the day, preparing for the long week they still had ahead of them

though you had hoped to see more of tom, you only had one interview with him, so you wouldn’t be seeing him any time soon

or so you thought, anyway

your boss surprised you with a chance to go to the premiere, and interview some of the cast and other actors on the red carpet of course (since you were there for work)

you honestly thought that if tom did see you, he would only give you a small wave, maybe a slight head nod at best since you’d already interviewed him, but to your surprise, when he saw you, he smiled immediately and made his way over to you, swerving away from his entourage (which consisted of his brothers, assistant, and others you didn’t recognize)

‘hi love, how are you?’

his eyes were shining under the bright lights on the carpet and there were hundreds of shouts and conversations going on around you, but he somehow managed to make you focus only on him, from his voice and presence alone

‘good! how are you? you excited? nervous?’

he laughed, tilting his head, ‘both, but you know, i’m really proud of this film and i’m ready for people to see it’

you didn’t have much time to talk since there were plenty of other interviewers, journalists and on top of that he had to take pictures so you wished him good luck and he thanked you genuinely

‘i have to run, but be sure to tell me what you think of the movie afterwards, yeah? i know you’re a marvel fan, wanna see if it lives up to your standards’ he winked and you stuttered for a bit, agreeing as he walked off

you were shocked that he wanted to hear your opinion, but granted there was a camera on you both, which you might have forgotten about while you were talking

but you couldn’t help but think, was that flirting? does he really want to know what i think?

you tried to push the butterflies down and focus on the film as you watched and honestly, it was easy to forget about everything else once you looked at the screen

the film, the plot, tom––everything was so captivating and entertaining, you couldn’t look away even if you tried

it wasn’t until after the film had ended, and you’d stayed for both end credit scenes that you realized you had no way of contacting tom

surely he would have things to do after this, after parties maybe? so you most likely wouldn’t see him outside

and it’s not like he followed you on instagram––he probably wouldn’t even see your dm if you sent one

as you were on your way out, thinking about all this, you felt a hand tap your shoulder and you turned, a smile on your face

but soon realizing it wasn’t who you’d hoped, you tried to not let the disappointment show on your face but as you looked clearly, you realized the man looked familiar

‘hi’ he smiled, ‘i’m tom’s assistant’ you nodded, greeting him a little confused

‘tom’ he started, pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket, ‘wanted me to give you this’ he handed you the paper and you opened it, feeling your stomach jump when you realized a number was scribbled on it, signed -tom ;)

without even realizing, you stared at the ink on the paper for a few seconds silently before his assistant snapped you out of it

‘he wanted you to know that he’s not a dick and he would have come if he could’

you laughed and looked up at him

‘honestly he felt really bad he couldn’t come himself, trust me.’

you nodded and put the paper in your bag, ‘thank you, i’ll be sure to use this’ you smiled

he smiled too, ‘tom hopes you will’

you had a feeling that tom would be busy that night, and probably hungover the next morning, so you waited a couple of days before contacting him

and during those two days, tom was honestly freaking out inside...and outside

were you not interested? was he too forward? did he do something wrong? did you get the wrong idea of him?

he was even texting harrison, jacob and zendaya about it in their group chat

tom: i’m an idiot aren’t i

zendaya: yeah but we already knew that

tom: 😑

harrison: i’m sure she’ll text you, maybe she’s just busy

jacob: yeah man, you’re a total catch

jacob: and anyway if she doesn’t want you, i’ll have you 😏

tom: thanks babe 😘

zendaya: i’m just gonna go––

tom: but anyway, i don’t think i’ll ever shoot my shot ever again because this is just embarrassing

not even a full minute passed before the he send the next text

tom: nevermind she just texted me

tom almost dropped his phone when he saw the message pop up

maybe: y/n: hi tom! this is y/n :) i’m free to give you my thoughts on the movie when you are

you felt like you were going to be sick when you hit send on the message––you didn’t want to bother him, it’d been several days, what if he changed his mind?

and you––nevermind he responded immediately

tom: hi darling :) i’m glad you used my number

tom: i’m free to talk now actually, we could facetime if that’s easier? only if you want, of course

you paused when you read his text, luckily you had showered and gotten dressed today so you didn’t look a mess but you opened the camera just to check if you looked alright

were you really about to facetime tom holland?

when you finished fixing your hair, smoothing down your eyebrows and licking your lips, you swallowed your nerves and replied

y/n: sure, i’d like that

he took a deep breath and hit the call button, eagerly waiting for it to connect when you answered

when you both came into view, you smiled, greeting each other shyly

‘was a little worried when you didn’t call me that night’ he admitted sheepishly

your brows raised, surprised ‘oh i just––i assumed you would have been busy you know, after parties and all that’ you laughed and he joined you, a small smile on his face

‘darling even if you called me during the party, i would have left just to talk to you––missed hearing your voice honestly’

when you paused to answer a blush coated his cheeks and you couldn’t help but think how cute he looked

‘sorry was that lame?’ he laughed nervously and you shook your head, biting your lip to suppress your smile

‘no––that was, really sweet actually. i––like talking to you too, it’s really nice’

soon you get to talking about the actual movie and you couldn’t stop the praises from flowing

‘honestly it was incredible tom, you were incredible, i loved it’

‘thank you love, i’m really glad you enjoyed it, i was hoping you would.’

and the way that tom smiled bashfully and blushed, even pointing the camera away from his face to hide at one point had you swooning more than ever

after that, you and tom texted here and there, sometimes even facetiming, and he wouldn’t hesitate to compare you to his other interviewers and even tell you about it

‘had an interview today, can’t even compare it to yours, love’

you just rolled your eyes, a smile on your face ‘oh shut up, tom’

you talk often but due to both of your busy schedules, months go by before you see each other again

you run into him at red carpets for other marvel movies, and there’s never a dull moment between the two of you

‘‘there’s my favorite interviewer’ his smile was wide as he walked up to you. ‘you excited for this one?’

you scoffed, fully having a conversation with tom as though you weren’t on camera ‘of course i am, it looks amazing’

‘even better than my movies?’

you raised your hands in surrender, ‘legally, i can’t answer that’

he put a hand to his chest, acting dramatically offended ‘wow well, i guess it’s time for me to go then’

‘at least save me a seat?’ you joked

‘you know i will’ he smirked

by the time ‘the devil all the time’ press came about, you hadn’t told tom that you were assigned to interview him, honestly it was a last minute schedule change

honestly, he’d gotten good at hiding his bad moods from the public, but you’d known him for enough time now to be able to see when he wasn’t at his 100%

which is why you could see him visibly brighten up when he walked into the room and saw you

‘what are you doing here?’ he asked, clearly (pleasantly) surprised as he hugged you

‘uh, my job?’ you joked, ‘you didn’t actually think i only interviewed for the mcu did you?’

he blushed, ‘well i uh––no, obviously not’ he said unconvincingly but you brushed him aside as you got ready for the interview

once you started, tom couldn’t help but smile as he watched you, you were just really good at your job and he enjoyed being with you, even when it was for work

‘so obviously audiences are used to seeing you as peter parker, a rather lighthearted character, despite all the hardships he’s had to face––would you say approaching a character as dark as this was challenging in any way? mentally, emotionally, or just in regards to the fact that the public would be seeing a new, more sinister, villainous side to you?’

‘i mean it was a little daunting, definitely. but i was excited to sort of branch out mentally and challenge myself emotionally for this role––the story was fascinating to me and i was just so proud to be a part of this project, i tried not to think of any downsides.’

he paused and licked his lips, a glint in his eyes. ‘and honestly, we all have a little bit of a dark side, don’t we?’

you paused. of all times to flirt––

‘well hopefully not to the same extent of your character,’ you joked and thankfully the conversation smoothly transitioned elsewhere

now the fans took notice of your bond with tom

they noticed that tom seemed to smile the brightest and laugh the loudest during your interviews, even jumping into other conversations and answers to questions that were directed to his costars

there were dozens of videos, hundreds of edits––

‘tom falling for his interviewer for 9 minutes straight’

and you’d seen them––it was sort of impossible for you to not

you’d been tagged in so many of them, even your friends sent them to you

i mean you weren’t blind, tom was attractive and he did make your heart flutter but you assumed that he didn’t want a relationship since his career was only progressing, skyrocketing either––it would probably be difficult to maintain a solid relationship, or maybe he just wasn’t interested in you so you said nothing

it wasn’t until he had a break from filming that he asked you to hangout, and still you thought nothing of it, until he asked what time he should pick you up

you paused, and he even thought that you froze when really you were just processing what he said

‘like a––date?’ you asked hesitantly

he smiled, scratching the back of his head nervously, ‘yeah? yeah i––like a date.’

you smiled, ‘i would love to tom. but aren’t you worried about pictures spreading online? headlines and all that? i wouldn’t want to add any more stress––’

‘i promise love,’ he interrupted your worried rant, ‘you make it all worth it.’

#idk how i feel about this might delete it we’ll see #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland hc #tom holland headcanon #tom holland headcannon #tom holland fluff #tom holland x interviewer!reader

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darthkruge · 4 years

Note

1 + 2 from prompt list #5 plz 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Anakin Skywalker x Reader ~ Can I Kiss You? (Pt 1)

Prompts: “Have you ever kissed anyone before?” + “Can I kiss you?”

Warnings: A little language, Anakin is a bit of a little shit (affectionately), Reader is kinda shy, both of them are idiots but we love that for them <3

Words: 1.6k

A/N: I assume you wanted this with Ani because he’s basically the only person I’ve been writing for lately but, if not, I’m sorry!! Thank you for sending something in! Also this was so fucking fun to write, I loved it so much. I got carried away a little, my brain kinda ran with it so yeah! Also, this is kinda tooth rotting fluff, even for me, so be prepared.

Part 2 (there is now a sequel!)

(gif not mine)

You and Anakin were partnered together for a mission. It was fairly simple, nothing battle related -- purely diplomatic. Honestly, you weren’t sure why you two were even sent on it; it felt like somewhat of a waste for two Padawans to go on a random mission to Naboo. Even so, if it allowed you to spend more time with Anakin, you didn’t mind.

You had this raging crush on him from the moment you saw him. He was gorgeous and confident without being off-puttingly cocky. He was tall, his hair was soft, his eyes were piercing, and his smile and laugh were contagious.

Then, as the two of you grew closer, this crush developed into something deeper. You learned of his heart, his kindness, his selflessness, his desires, his needs, his fears. You were able to see the boy behind the prophecy and you truly, unequivocally, loved him.

“Come on, Y/N, hurry up!” Anakin’s joking tone broke you from your thoughts. You smiled back and ran up to him, playfully hitting his back as you caught up. He took your hand and the two of you continued walking, side by side.

These displays of affection weren’t uncommon between the two of you. Early on, you saw how he enjoyed your touch, always leaning into it when you’d accidentally brush against him or give him a quick hug after a mission. He, too, saw how you reacted when he put his arm around your shoulders or brushed your hair behind your ear.

Since the rest of the Jedi frowned upon connections and, thus, weren’t as forthcoming with affection, the two of you were quickly bonded. You were so attuned with each other that you now just knew when the person was searching for that physical connection. It had become natural, the sort of expected comfort that becomes impossible to live without.

The two of you walked through the gardens by the palace in Naboo, enjoying the sun’s warmth. You’d already talked to the government officials you needed to, attempting to figure out which other planets to get involved in the peace treaties. Thankfully, it went quickly and now you had the rest of the day to spend with Ani before returning home to Coruscant.

He led you to a secluded bench and plopped down, pulling you beside him. He pulled an apple from a tree and offered it to you. You thanked him and accepted it, allowing the crunchy texture and sweet flavor into your mouth. He watched you, grinning at your excitement.

“Okay, I’ve got a question for you,” Anakin said.

Okay. This has got to be good. “Shoot, Skywalker.”

“Who was your first?”

You choked on your apple, sputtering at his audacity! Anakin howled at your reaction, coming up behind you to thump your back a few times until you stopped choking.

“Dumbass!” You yelled, causing Anakin to keel over in another fit of laughs.

“You’re going to alert the entire palace!” He hushed you, gasping in breaths between his laughs.

You rolled your eyes, elbowing him in the gut. “Hey! Okay, okay, okay,” He said, holding up his hands in mock surrender before taking a pause. “But, seriously! Who was your first?”

“Anakin! That’s- I- Anakin!” You were so taken aback you couldn’t even form words. You were so caught off guard and, also, quite perplexed. “Ani, we’re not allowed to do, you know, that”

Anakin’s lips curled into a playful smirk at your response. “Maker, Y/N, I know! I meant, like, kissing… Who was your first kiss?”

Your face heated up quickly. You were hoping he’d drop it but apparently not. You didn’t want to admit that you hadn’t exactly had the chance to do that yet. You fiddled with your hands and looked away, embarrassed.

“Wait, have you ever kissed anyone before?”

“No…” You mumbled underneath your breath, still refusing to meet his eyeline.

Now, Anakin’s gaze softened. He never meant to make you feel uncomfortable or judged, he truly thought you had. I mean, look at you! Someone had to have wanted to kiss you before! His hand gently came up to tilt your chin up, forcing you to look at him.

His gaze saddened when it met yours, seeing how affected you were by his questions “It’s okay, Y/N! You don’t need to feel ashamed, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.”

“I mean, it’s not like I haven’t had options. I totally could have been kissed by now if I wanted to!” You huffed indignantly, crossing your arms.

Anakin laughed, glad to see some of your fight returning to you. He knew that if you were being defensive and stubborn, you couldn’t be that mad at him. He looked at you for a minute, wondering. He’d been in love with you for as long as he could remember but refused to act on it; he knew how much being a Jedi meant to you and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that. Even so, he so badly wanted to come home to you each night, to hold you, to be the one you could turn to with any and everything, to be the person you loved and who loved you, always.

He thought about it for a moment more and decided he might as well try. “Can I kiss you?”

Your eyes widened and you gaped at his question. “You- you want to kiss me?”

He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, mentally wondering if this was a good or bad sign. “I, uh, I mean, yeah… You’re really kind and intelligent and, um, super nice to look at… And since you haven’t been I just thought you might wanna…”

“I think you’re super nice to look at too, Ani,” You teased. You were blushing at his words and practically pinching yourself. You’d wanted to hear them for so long, it almost didn’t feel real.

He allowed himself to slightly smile, hope creeping into his expression. “Is that a yes?”

You laughed, smiling too. You nodded, looking into his trusting eyes.

“If you wanna stop, just let me know, okay?” He said, sensing your nerves.

“Okay, Ani”

His fingers grazed over your jaw before guiding it towards him, tilting it slightly. Your eyes closed in anticipation, butterflies ready to burst out of your stomach at any moment. His mouth touched yours and your brain went completely fuzzy. Maker, Kriff, Fuck, Maker!! Is this really happening?

The kiss was so gentle, so sweet. It was just his lips against yours, nothing more. He didn’t want to frighten you by shoving his tongue down your throat on your first try. He just wanted to make you feel wanted and safe.

He pulled apart after a moment and looked at you. “Was that okay?” He laughed as your eyes lit up and you nodded excitedly.

“Can we do that again?” After feeling his lips and being so close to him, you never wanted that sensation to go away.

“Of course, love” Anakin said quietly, pulling you into him once more.

This time, he was a bit more intense, lips moving against yours slowly. You felt yourself get lost in him, in his taste and smell. You went on instinct, allowing your hands to weave into his hair. He hummed as you did so, hands finding their way to your waist and pulling you slightly closer.

He was still extremely careful. As much as he wanted to pour all his passion into this kiss, this moment was about you, not him. He led the kiss, not wanting you to feel like a fish out of water, and smiled into your lips. When you smiled back, Anakin swore his entire body warmed. He was so glad you agreed to do this with him, to allow him to be the person to share this moment with.

When you pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours and cupped your cheeks. You looked at him shyly and he brushed his thumbs against your cheekbones.

“You were really good at that, are you sure you’ve never done that before?” He joked.

You pushed his shoulder back bashfully. “Shut up, Ani!”

“I’m serious,” He laughed, “You were really good!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, baby. You’re amazing.”

You looked at him for a beat. “So,” You said, dragging out the word, “What do we do now?”

“Well, the ship leaves for Coruscant in thirty minutes so…”

“Anakin Skywalker, you know what I mean!”

He chuckled. “Okay, fine! I mean, if you want, of course, we could be together?”

“Like, together together?”

“Only if you want!”

“Do you want?”

Anakin nodded.

“I, uh, I’d really like that, too, Ani”

He broke out into this big goofy grin and you followed suit. That damn, contagious smile. You knew there would be a million complications. The chances of it working out were practically unfathomable. The Council would kill you both if they found out, you’d never make rank! But you looked into his eyes and thought you could beat the odds.

Young love had a way of making you feel invincible. He was all you ever wanted. It was as if nothing could ever affect you if you were together. The Council wouldn’t find out, you’d be that one in a million couple, you’d grow old together and be happy and peaceful. It was the most unsure thing you’d ever done and, yet, nothing felt more certain.

As this realization swarmed round your head, you dove back in, connecting your lips once more. The garden around you faded and the weight of this new secret-relationship disappeared. It was just you and Anakin. Nothing would ever tear you apart.

----

I just made a taglist so if you wanna join... (dm me if you wanna be taken off!)

permanent tags:

@saltybreaddream

anakin tags:

@anakinswhore @kennedywxlsh @coldlilheart @adamgetawaydriver @chokemeanakin @gayidioot @starwars-whore @katelynnwrites @haydens-moles

#anon #megan writes #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker imagines #anakin skywalker x y/n #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x gender neutral reader #anakin skywalker x gn!reader #anakin skywalker fluff #anakin x reader #anakin imagines #anakin x y/n #anakin x you #anakin x gender neutral reader #anakin x gn!reader

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my-happy-little-bean · 3 years

Text

The Rainbow Manor

pairing: platonic DLAMP words: 5138 warnings: swearing, references to homophobia, toxic/homophobic parents, brief description of a small injury, blood, brief descriptions of panic/anxiety attacks, crying, angst

a/n - hello friends! hope everyone is doing well! i was lucky enough to be commissioned by the lovely @youronelesbianfriend to write this story (side note, their commissions are open too so...whatcha still doin here, go and do that!). i was overjoyed when i saw the prompt she gave me, and had such a good time writing it! (also inspired me to maybe formally advertise commissions? you can peek at my tumblr every now and then to see if i do, but if you also want one you can DM me!)

so without further ado, here is some content ✨

read on ao3!

—

The Rainbow Manor is a lot of things.

It’s a home for the biggest family that could exist. It’s a safe haven from the cold, stormy outdoors. It’s the kind of blanket made of the same velvet the night sky is made of; it’s quiet, it’s warm, and it’s filled with stars. All it takes is one step inside and you would find yourself filled with a sense of belonging, of hope.

You could run the furthest distance away from it all, and the Rainbow Manor would always open its doors to you.

Patton would know. He was the first one to try.

~*~

“Okay, so here’s what happened,” Roman Prince said, looking down at his clipboard as he weaved him and Patton through the halls. “I was going to show the new people around myself, but then I forgot the paperwork in your office — and then I realized, ‘hey, what better person to show them around than The Man himself!’; capital T, capital M!”

Patton half-heartedly smiled as he snuck a peek at Roman’s papers.

“How many are there?”

“Three, so it won’t be too bad. One of them’s Virgil — you remember Virgil, right?”

“Right.” Patton smiled fondly, remembering Roman’s birthday party last year. Him and Virgil had shown up covered in cake. He never really saw Virgil after that day, but clearly him and Roman stayed acquainted against all odds.

They turned a corner into the break room where three people sat around a table. Roman clapped his hands.

“Alrighty! Sorry for the wait.”

All three of them stood up. The one in the black and purple hoodie—the one Patton recognized as Virgil—rolled his eyes.

“Waiting is part of the contract with you, Princey.”

Roman faux-gasped. “Hey, that was one time! And if I didn’t take too long that day, we would have taken the wrong cake!”

“We did take the wrong cake, Roman. That’s why it exploded.”

“...Oh yeah.” Roman grinned. “Forgot about that.”

Virgil shook his head, but showed a hint of a smile. Patton took a step forward to extend his hand out to him.

“Nice to see you again, Virgil!” He then addressed the two behind him. “And if we’re talking cake, I guess you both can call me Patton-cake!”

The one wearing a black, short-sleeve button up frowned, adjusting their thin blue tie.

“I read on the website that your name is Patton Morgan.”

“It’s like patty-cake, but Patton-cake!”

“...Right.”

“Ignore my friend’s simply lively commentary.” The last person stepped forward. They wore a pale-yellow button up under a grey vest. “That’s Logan. Do not be astounded by how that pencil is both sharp and dull — he’s always like that.”

“And that’s Janus,” Logan seethed, crossing his arms. “They’re always like that.”

Patton chuckled. “Well it’s nice to meet you both. I’ll show you guys around?”

They all nodded, following Patton as he led them out the door. The icy awkwardness of first encounters fortunately thawed as conversation quickly blossomed. Patton learned that Logan was the new volunteer manager and was close friends with Janus, who was joining the growing team of counsellors. Virgil, on the other hand, was the newly-appointed social media and communications coordinator; a position Roman used to double as alongside being head of recreation and programming, until he overdid it with the website graphics and crashed the site for two days. Sometimes, change was necessary, Patton learned.

“So that’s pretty much the whole place!” Patton said brightly at the end of the tour, stopping outside his office. He handed them their job description packages. “I hope you all get situated soon! And if you ever need anything, you now know where my office is!” He motioned to the door with jazz-hands. “Here!”

“Thank you, Patton,” Logan hummed. He looked around idly. “I must say, I am rather impressed by how well-established and organized the facility is, especially for one that is fairly new.”

“Well call me corny, ‘cause all I can say is ‘aw shucks’!” Patton beamed. “You know, if you told me almost a year ago that I’d be standing here today, I think I’d be impressed too!” He nudged at Roman. “But I obviously didn’t do any of it alone. It’s the people that really make this place home — people like Roman, who’s been with me since the very beginning!”

“Oh, Patton! You make me sound like the hero of this place.” Roman pretended to flip his hair. “So thank you!”

“A humble hero,” Virgil retorted. Roman just stuck out his tongue at him.

“But in all seriousness, Patton’s downplaying his efforts to the floor!” Roman wrapped an arm around Patton’s waist and pulled him in close. He waved out in front of him. “He’s a true phoenix who rose from the ashes and built this place with his own two hands!” Roman then spun Patton away from him, a trail of giggles following suit. “Plus he does a bunch of other stuff too! He has, like, a gazillion side-gigs, he sometimes volunteers at an animal shelter…”

“It sounds like you may also be interested in a day off,” Janus piped up.

“It’s really not that much!” Patton awkwardly shuffled where he stood. “I...I like staying busy.”

Janus tilted their head at him. “Right.”

Patton shot them a quick smile before diving back into the end of their paperwork. Then the three of them, along with Roman, said their goodbyes and scattered to their respective offices.

Patton leaned against his office door with a wry smile. They all seemed like nice people, he thought. He was lucky to have them.

(Roman’s words from weeks ago echoed in his head; the same words that were said to him the night of his first breakdown, when they first called.

“You need all the help you can get, Pat.”)

And he needed all the help he could get.

~*~

A few days later, Patton found himself leaning against the front of his desk, outstretching his hand towards the teen in front of him.

“Jonah, your feelings are valid, no matter what they are.”

The words slid off Patton’s tongue almost effortlessly. Jonah sniffled.

“I know, Pat. And– and I’ve already made a lot of friends here that have told me that. It’s been so good for me here, but…” Jonah buried their face in their hands. “Every night before I go to sleep, I can’t stop thinking about what they told me before they kicked me out. It’s like I get tunnel vision. I can see the person I have grown to be on the other side, but all I’m doing is going backwards.”

Jonah looked up at Patton with teary eyes. “And I don’t wanna go back, Patton. I...I don’t want to go back.”

Patton felt a chill run through his spine. Quiet echoes buried themselves in the back of his mind.

“I understand that it’s difficult to feel like you’re moving forward when it feels like the most important people in your life are pushing you back. And it...it sucks. I’m so sorry.” Patton swallowed down the temptation to cave as he continued. “I...I think all we can do is remember that those important forces in your life aren’t what’s given to you, but are what’s found. And I feel like you’ve done a lot of searching — for now, try and let yourself be found.”

Jonah broke into a small smile. Before Patton knew it, the teen stumbled forward into an embrace, holding Patton tight and crying. Patton’s hands hovered in the air behind their back, unsure of what to do. Eventually, Patton came to his senses and hugged them back.

“I’m thankful I found this place,” Jonah mumbled into Patton’s chest. “It’s– it’s built on a lot of hope. I don’t think I could have found it anywhere else.”

Patton’s heart shattered.

‘I wish I could give you more.’ He squeezed Jonah tighter. ‘I’d give you all I had, and you’d never know.’

Jonah left a few minutes later, thanking Patton for giving them a space to be honest. All Patton could do was nod numbly. He knew Jonah was new and it was hard to be new here, but Patton was certain that they’d find their place. The kids who came here always did.

Patton walked around his desk to sit down. He took one look at his phone, frowned, then set it aside with a sigh. For a brief moment, Patton relished sitting in the precious silence that finally found his office.

Then, a knock on his door.

“Come in!” Patton said, straightening up and folding his hands neatly on his desk. The door cracked open and Logan’s head peeked in.

“Is this a good time, Patton?”

“Yeah, of course!”

Logan stepped inside and handed some papers to Patton.

“I filed through the volunteer applications and started arranging interviews in the coming weeks. I just wanted to run the dates by you before I start contacting people. Hopefully they suffice.”

“Wow! Thank you, Lo.” Patton took the papers, slowly sifting through them. “These look really good! I’ll have a look at them tonight.”

“Tonight?” Logan echoed. “Are you staying late again?”

“Oh! Yeah, I am.” Patton shrugged. “Just a bit of extra paperwork.”

“Well if you require any assistance tonight, I can stay around–”

“No, no! That won’t be necessary.” Patton waved his hand dismissively. “Go and enjoy your night, Lo.”

Logan’s stare seemed to bury itself through Patton, enough for Patton to look away.

“...Well, please do not hesitate to let me know if you need anything else.”

As Logan was leaving, Patton felt his phone buzz. He snuck a peek and paled.

‘Missed call(s): Mother (2) - 5:34 PM’

“Um, leave the door open, Lo!” Patton suddenly blurted out. Logan turned around and tilted his head. Patton flimsily added, “I– I think I’m going to try and get some air.”

Logan nodded, lifting his hand off the door handle before walking out. Patton took a deep breath and then stuffed his phone in his pocket before leaving as well.

—

Later that evening, Patton wandered into his office in a daze. He turned the lights on and inwardly groaned at the stacks of paper awaiting him.

He dragged his feet to his desk, only stopping to check his phone. The ‘missed call’ notification lingered, except now the number was ‘3’.

Patton felt his jaw tighten. He couldn’t run forever.

As he sat down, he noticed a small cup behind one stack of paper. He grabbed it. The smell of coffee swarmed his head. He smiled, noticing a small sticky note on its side.

“Keep up the great work. Your friend, Logan.”

~*~

“Okay everyone! Grab your brushes!”

Patton blinked. Somehow, his memory of the manor floors failed him, and he ended up in the recreation room. He felt eyes stare up at him, Roman’s included.

“Ah, Patton! Man of the hour! What brings you here?”

Patton sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “I, um, got lost! If you could believe it, heh.”

“ ‘Lost’ is just a way of saying ‘found, but with a few extra steps’!” Roman motioned to an empty seat. “How about you join us for a bit?”

Patton opened his mouth to protest, though felt cornered by all the expectant stares. He even spotted Jonah, who smiled and waved at him. Patton sighed. He had been wound up for days now; perhaps Roman’s theatrics was all he needed.

He finally nodded, going over to sit in front of the vacant canvas. Roman grinned at him with a warmth Patton let himself melt into.

“Alright! Let’s begin.” Roman cleared his throat. “I want you to pull on the colours of your heartstrings. Forget form, structure– even an outline. Your emotions know no bounds, after all! Just remember, your hand is not controlling the brush — it’s your heart.”

Patton felt the words wash over him. Roman, of course, was right; he didn’t even notice his hand moving as he painted. Though somehow, it didn’t feel as peaceful as Roman described it to be. Instead, it felt like something was being pulled out of Patton, as though a claw was scooping something out of his chest and spilling it onto the canvas.

Suddenly, his ringtone cut through Roman’s monologue. Patton jumped, dropping his brush. A line of paint dragged across the canvas as it fell. All eyes were on him again.

“Um, excuse me! I– I’m just going to take this.” Patton pressed answer without looking at who called as he stumbled out of the room.

“Hello?”

“I see you’ve finally answered.”

Patton’s heart dropped.

—

Roman was halfway through the end of his monologue when, in the corner of his eye, he spotted Patton re-enter the room, head ducked.

“Ah! I’m glad you’re back!”

Patton nodded, but in the stilted way Roman quickly recognized. His eyes looked Patton up and down, barely listening to Patton’s stammering apology for interrupting. His hair was disheveled, which meant he ran his hand through it far too many times. His eyes were red, his jaw was tight–

He was crying.

“Anyway, I’m sorry again for leaving so soon!” Patton’s voice brought Roman back to reality. “Keep painting you guys! I gotta Van-Gogh!”

A shaky laugh followed Patton out. Roman frowned, but he nodded for everyone to continue. He passed by Patton’s canvas and snuck a peek.

It was rather abstract, with overlapping strokes forming a gradient. Roman’s gaze followed the gradient downwards. The canvas was filled with dull blues that turned into darkening greys. Towards the bottom was a thin line of black trailed all the way to Patton’s paintbrush, abandoned on the floor.

~*~

The sun sets on a long railroad, it goes past the horizon, it outstretches a hand like it’s beckoning, it’s begging you to run, run faster, everything is going faster and they just told you to go so you have to–

“Pat?”

Patton shot up in his seat with a yelp. He blinked quickly, vision focusing on the silhouette of–

“Virgil!” A strangled laugh escaped his throat. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in!”

Virgil replied simultaneously, “No, I’m sorry, you just weren’t answering and I got worried, but I didn’t realize you were sleeping–”

“Sleeping?” Patton looked down at the time. 5 PM.

“Oh sh– shoot, I’m gonna be late.”

“Late for?”

“Animal shelter,” Patton mumbled, stumbling out of his chair and grabbing his bag. “I forgot that I said I’d come in today– gosh how could I forget–”

“Hey.” Virgil rested a hand on Patton’s shoulder before Patton could go spiralling out the door. “Deep breath. I’ll drive you, it’ll be okay.”

Patton opened his mouth to protest, but remembered the time. He sighed and motioned wordlessly at the door. Virgil nodded, leading the two of them out towards the parking lot.

“Anyway, I’m sorry if it’s a bad time, I was just hoping to run some website revisions by you,” Virgil said as he started the car and backed out of the lot. Patton shakily smiled.

“No! It’s not a bad time at all, you can tell me about your ideas as you drive!”

“There’s not much. I was just thinking of ways to maybe make it more approachable. There’s not even really an ‘about us’ page or anything about you–”

“Why would there need to be anything about me?”

Virgil looked at him, almost confused. “It’s an amazing organization, Pat. Your name should be up there, especially as the founder…?”

“Oh! R-Right.” Patton let out a sharp laugh. “I guess I never thought about it before.”

“I could put something together tonight, I was just thinking it'd be cool to hear you talk about it.” Virgil turned at an intersection. The sign of the animal shelter soon came into view.

“I guess that’d be a good idea!” Patton shrugged. “But there’s, um, not really anything interesting to know.”

Virgil frowned, falling quiet as he parked the car. When they stopped moving, Virgil turned to face him.

“Say, would it be okay if I joined you?” Virgil shuffled awkwardly in his seat. “I, um, have a bit of a free night, and I was thinking that maybe I could just ask you stuff for the website now so I don’t have to bother you later…?”

Patton’s eyes lit up. “Oh, that sounds perfect! Liz will probably be okay with it. I think it’s bath night for the dogs, and we can always use an extra hand with that!”

Virgil chuckled, following Patton out the car and into the animal shelter.

Patton gathered the energy he had left to greet Liz and everyone else, already cooing over the various animals he and Virgil passed by. They reached the back and, with only a bit of struggle (Patton would never admit to these cute dogs being a struggle), took each dog a bath. All the while, Virgil asked Patton questions about the Rainbow Manor and his life in general, which Patton did his best to answer.

“I ended up founding the Rainbow Manor a year after I graduated.” Patton wiped his brow as they finished drying the last dog. “I had been living on Roman’s couch for so long after being kicked out and I just wanted to turn it around; not only for myself, but for other people.”

Virgil’s stare softened. “I– I’m sorry. N-Not about how you founded the place but, like...why you felt like you needed to. That must’ve been hard.”

“Yeah.” Patton forced a shrug. “It is what it is. Sometimes, you have to get lost to be found, right?”

“Right.” Virgil looked up at Patton. “Do...do you still keep in touch with them? Your parents, I mean.”

Patton felt his heart squeeze.

“It’s been so long,” he finally said. “I doubt they’d want to talk to me.”

—

Virgil offered to drive Patton back, but Patton insisted on taking a cab home. Virgil reluctantly conceded, but promised to email Patton when he drafted the additions to the website. Patton just nodded and watched Virgil drive off.

When he was sure that Virgil was completely gone, he shakily pulled out his phone and called a cab.

“Hi! I– I just need to go to The Rainbow Manor,” he said to the driver as he climbed into the car. He found himself laughing. “Long work day. It is what it is.”

~*~

Days passed, and Patton’s workload somehow doubled: new admissions, new initiatives, new everything.

(And his mother kept calling. And calling. And calling.)

To say it was a lot was an understatement.

Patton found himself going back and forth along the manor halls, forcing a smile at those he passed. He closed his eyes, turning a corner before he knocked into someone.

“Crap! I– I’m so sorry.” Patton quickly scrambled to gather the papers that had fallen onto the floor.

“Oh, don’t apologize, I always thought that important documentation would make for good confetti– ah, hello, Patton.”

Patton looked up. Janus appeared above him, outstretching their hand to help Patton up. Patton took it, scooping the papers up as he went.

“Janus! Hi! Well, if you’re looking for me...here I am!” He laughed, though it sounded scratchier than expected. “Everything okay?”

“More than, thank you. I just wanted to follow up about my schedule for the new admissions? You mentioned yesterday that I should come to you but I couldn’t find you…”

Patton winced. His chest tightened.

“F– I forgot, goodness how am I always–”

“It’s quite alright, Patton, I can always–”

“I–It’s not okay!”

In the corner of his eye, Jonah passed by. He felt their wide eyes on him. The air grew thinner.

“It’s– gah, it’s never fucking–”

“Oookay. We’re not okay and that’s...okay.”

Janus suddenly took Patton’s arm and led him to their office. They swiftly kicked the door shut with their foot as they let Patton settle on the couch.

“Breathe for me,” Janus said slowly, pulling up a chair and sitting across from Patton. They took Patton’s hand and motioned for him to follow their lead. “In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8…”

They repeated this a few more times until Patton let go of his head and his breathing evened out.

“I– I’m so sorry, Janus. I don’t know what–”

“It’s fine, Patton. I’m glad I could help.” A pause. Janus leaned back in their chair. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“No, everything’s fine.”

Janus raised a brow.

“Okay, everything’s not fine. But...but it will be fine. I have to be fine.” His mind drifted to Jonah. Patton buried his face in his hands.

“I can’t be like this,” he said, tears threatening to fall. “I...I just can’t. Not now, this– this can’t be happening now.”

“Unfortunately, these things tend to find us — not the other way around.” Janus squeezed Patton’s hand in a sudden moment of softness. “I...I know what this is, Patton. And I don’t have to tell you what to do because I know you know. You help so many people like you, but remember: when the plane is falling, you have to put on your oxygen mask before you help someone else.”

Patton locked eyes with Janus for a split second, opening his mouth to respond when he felt his phone ringing. Reflexively, he pulled it out in front of his lap. The air disappeared once more.

‘Incoming call: Mother’

Patton quickly pressed ‘decline’. He then looked up at Janus, whose eyes darted upwards as well.

Shit.

“I– I have to go.”

“Wait, Patton–”

“Thank you for everything, Janus,” Patton mumbled, and before Janus could reply, Patton sped out of the room and slammed the door shut behind him.

~*~

“I just don’t get it,” Roman muttered, leg bouncing under the table in the break room. “I’ve never seen him like this before.”

“You haven’t?” Janus circled the table like a hawk.

“What makes you think I have?”

“Oh, I don’t know! Maybe it’s the fact that he has about a thousand jobs! Or perhaps it’s that he’s been staying overnight every night to work as if he owns the place — oh wait! He does! But I have no idea why that might be stressful at all!”

Roman glowered at them, but said nothing.

“I can imagine that his workload presumably doubled this past month,” Logan, sitting across from Roman beside Virgil, adjusted his glasses. “Between the new admissions, growth in our volunteer admissions…”

“Okay, so he has a lot on his plate!” Roman pinched the bridge of his nose. “But I’ve seen him stressed out about these sorts of things. This is different.”

“So what else could be on his mind?” Virgil piped up.

Janus suddenly stopped in their tracks.

“His mother.”

Roman’s heart dropped. “His– his what?”

“She called him while Patton was in my office,” Janus murmured. “He left straight after.”

Virgil frowned. “Why would he...”

Roman felt as if he had burst into flames. The pieces clicked together in his head.

“The– the fucking nerve of that woman, I can’t believe she’s still–”

“Roman, what are you talking about?” Logan cut in.

Before Roman could respond, he felt a buzz in his pocket. He immediately pulled out his phone. His breathing hitched.

‘Help.’

“It’s Patton,” he blurted out, stumbling out his chair and making his way out of the room. Everyone exchanged looks, but quickly followed suit.

Roman weaved his ways through the halls until he neared Patton’s office. Loud sobs were muffled behind the door. Roman felt his heart breaking already as he opened it.

And there was Patton, on the floor, crying, and surrounded by shards of broken porcelain. Roman recognized it as a vase he had painted for him years ago. He winced seeing small drops of blood surrounding the pieces. His eyes quickly scanned the room as Logan immediately tended to Patton.

“What happened, Patton?” Logan murmured as Patton curled up closer to him, sobs still wracking his body.

“I– I’m so sorry.” Each word sounded like it was forced out of his lungs and into the air. “I– I tried to clean up, I’m sorry–”

“Shh, Patton. It’s okay.” Janus knelt down beside him, carefully lifting Patton’s wrist to examine his hand. A long cut ran across his palm. Janus looked up at Roman and Virgil.

“There’s a first-aid kit in my office, as well as a broom and dustpan. Can one of you grab it?”

Virgil nodded wordlessly, exiting the room. Roman noticed Patton’s phone beside Patton on the ground, and reached over to pick it up.

“What did she say, Pat,” Roman asked, fear edging the quiet of his voice. The words seemed to stab at Patton and let out more sobs.

“She– she found out about everything,” Patton wheezed through tears. “The– the Rainbow Manor, where I am– she wants to take it all– she can’t take it all–”

“Patton, I need you to follow my breathing, okay?” Janus interrupted, motioning at their chest with their hand as they inhaled and exhaled. “Can you see my hand? I want you to try and follow along, okay?

Patton numbly nodded, trying to breathe through hiccups and sobs. Janus repeated the exercise with Patton for at least fifteen minutes, with Virgil returning halfway and Logan moving to sit in front of Patton to start tending to the cut. Virgil carefully swept around Roman, Janus, Logan, and Patton on the floor.

“Whatever she told you, it isn’t true,” Roman said after Patton’s breath had evened out. “She can’t touch you here, not with us around.”

“I– I know,” Patton sniffled. Logan finished bandaging Patton’s hand and offered him a tissue from the box on his desk. “She said so many awful things, but– but the scariest part is that she didn’t stop at just saying things.”

“What do you mean?” Logan murmured.

“She...she threatened to shut the Rainbow Manor down.”

“What?!” Roman shot up from the floor. “But– but she can’t–”

“You know my mom, Roman,” Patton whimpered. “She has connections all over the city. If she wanted to, she would find a way.”

“So why hasn’t she?” Janus asked quietly. A beat of silence. Patton brought his knees closer to his chest and buried his face between them.

“She– she wants a percentage of the donations,” Patton finally admitted.

“What the fuck,” Virgil growled, stopping in his tracks.

“I know! It’s– it’s impossible, I–” Another sob. Logan and Janus moved closer to him, with Janus putting their arm around his shoulder.

“What did you tell her?” Janus pressed on.

“I– I told her no! Even if I wanted to, I can’t, but– but what else can I do?” Patton looked at his bandaged hand and grimaced. “And of course she got mad, and I freaked out, and I knocked over the vase– god, Roman, I’m sorry about the vase–”

“The vase is replaceable,” is all Roman said. “You aren’t.”

Patton just nodded, looking up at the four of them in his office with teary eyes.

“What am I going to do?”

Everyone exchanged looks. Roman lowered himself back to the floor beside Patton and wrapped him in a warm hug.

“You’re not going to do anything,” Roman said firmly.

“Roman…”

“All your life, you’ve taken care of people like they were your family, Patton. Please, let your family take care of you.”

Patton sniffled, looking around him. Virgil, Logan, and Janus nodded with small smiles, moving closer to him and joining the embrace.

And Patton just nodded, dissolving into tears; except this time, Roman could feel the relief from them. He felt Patton melt in his touch and smiled to himself, a similar relief washing over him as well.

(And for a moment, just a brief moment, Patton was home.)

~*~

One week later…

“Keep your eyes closed…”

“Roman, I don’t know how many more walls I can keep bumping into!”

“Just a little longer, I promise!”

Patton giggled, letting himself be led by Roman through more halls. Then, Roman stopped him.

“Okay, you can open your eyes in 3...2–”

“I’m opening them now, I’m too excited!” Patton squealed, and then opened his eyes. Suddenly, a burst of colour flooded his vision.

“Surprise!” a chorus of voices exclaimed.

Patton broke into a wide smile, blinking to focus on the sight in front of him. He was standing in the recreation room, with a big banner hanging from the back wall reading, “Happy Birthday, Rainbow Manor!”. Beneath it was a table with a cake, which was surrounded by Janus, Virgil, and Logan, alongside a bunch of other teens Patton recognized. Even Jonah was there, wearing a small party hat with a confetti popper in his hands.

Patton felt tears well up in his eyes. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe you remembered!”

“Of course, padré!” Roman grabbed Patton’s arm and led him around the table to stand in front of the cake. “Always normal for a family to celebrate the man who built their home!”

“Oh, Roman!” Patton leaned against his shoulder, sniffling. “It’s perfect.”

He then looked at Virgil, Logan, and Janus. “I can’t believe you guys set this all up, it must’ve taken forever!”

“Actually, it just took a day,” Logan hummed.

“And the cake doesn’t explode,” Virgil said with a small finger salute. “I checked.”

“Additionally, we understand that presents are customary at a party,” Logan continued. “So while our present is not materialistic, we do hope it suffices.”

“Oh?”

“Sir Nerds-A-Lot is trying to say that we’re pitching in to give you a few days off!” Roman declared. “We handled a few responsibilities over the weekend while you were home, and split your workload for the week ahead! Consider this the fabulous gift of time!”

“Oh you guys! You didn’t have to!”

“But we did, and we did so gladly,” Logan said with a nod.

“Also–” Janus leaned over to quietly whisper in Patton’s ear– “I took care of your mother.”

Patton frowned. “You...what? Is– is she…”

“She’s fine, but she won’t be bothering you for a long time.” Janus winked. “Let’s just say I know people too.”

Patton exhaled a breath he felt he was holding onto forever. He nodded graciously at Janus as Roman handed him a cake-cutter.

“Alright! Before you take the first slice, you gotta make a wish!” Roman motioned at the lit candles on the cake. Patton stepped forward, closed his eyes for a brief moment, and then blew them out.

Everyone cheered as Patton was surrounded by hugs and laughter. He felt Janus, Logan, Roman, and Virgil crowd around him as they started to help hand out cake to all the teens.

And in the back of his mind, his wish echoed in his head.

‘I hope to always be able to share this home with my family.’

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fic #DLAMP #platonic DLAMP #patton sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #hurt/comfort #angst #thomas sanders fic #everything gets worse before it gets better :p

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ppersonna · 4 years

Text

higher - kth | m

all that matters to me girl, win or lose, is an x-rated complete swirl of me and you. so if you want to see the show, just come with me baby, i will show you how i roll - insurance?, the higher

↳ summary- a chance meeting with a handsome stranger in the airport leads to a very exciting flight.

↳ rating- explicit / 18+

↳ word count- 3.8k

↳ pairing- taehyung x reader

↳ genre- smut, pwp, the plot is basically one whole sentence

↳ warnings- public sex, exhibitionism, fingering, dirty talk, cum play, unprotected sex (fiction isnt rl life, wrap it up pals), sex in an airport and a plane whoops, sex with stranger

↳ a/n- hi folks! this fic has been in my trash basically because i wasnt sure i liked it too much! but i was convinced by a few friends to post it. i surely hope you enjoy this little to no plot LMFAO. pls feel free to message, comment, dm me, carrier pigeon, etc etc. i LOVE YOU.

“Wow, you’re cute,” a voice calls to you through the crowded airport.

You lower your book down to gaze at where the voice came from, an eyebrow arched in confusion. An airport was an odd place to be hit on.

The voice came from the man across from you, sitting in the black plastic leather seat of the waiting area for your gate. He waves his hand a little as if to take ownership for the compliment.

“Oh, uhhh,” you bite your lip. “Thank you?”

He smiles. It’s beautiful. You’re struck by the gleaming white teeth and boxy smile.

“Are you heading to Los Angeles too?” He leans forward, wanting to get closer to you.

You lay your book down on your lap and nod. “Yeah, I am. Visiting.”

The boy wouldn’t stop grinning. He was ethereal in beauty. Cover of a magazine star quality. Shaggy brown hair, button nose and a smile that could melt the coldest of hearts. His voice was a sinful pitch of sexy baritone and his body appeared lithe and toned. Of all the men to hit on you in a bustling airport, you were glad it was this one.

“Me too! Meeting my friends there for a long bachelor party week of partying.”

“Oh, you’re getting married?” You ask. That would make this exchange less invigorating.

“No! No,” he quickly replies. “My childhood best friend Seokjin is. He wants to go around LA and eat at as many restaurants as he can and then drink until he passes out. His words.”

You stifle a laugh, pleased with the information that the young suitor across from you is at the very least, not engaged. “Sounds like a wild time.”

He nods in agreement, flashing a cute grin. Your stomach flips. He’s so attractive. You can’t help but eye him down, let your gaze soak in his beauty. He notices and smirks.

“What seat are you?” He asks.

“Ah,” you squint at the ticket in your lap. “14A. Window seat.”

He laughs out loud. “No fucking way.”

You tilt your head in confusion. “Why?”

“I’m 14B.”

You join in his laughter. “Seems like we’re in for an exciting flight.”

He winks at you and you feel your stomach flip in anticipation.

“I think you’re right,” he agrees.

“I’m Taehyung, by the way. Can’t wait to get to know you better, neighbor.” He drawls, before leaving to stand in line to board the plane.

The long haul flight starts out simple, conversation flowing between you and Taehyung easily. You discuss your plans for LA, what you hope to see, your friends. He’s a gentleman from the very beginning and asks questions about your life. He seems genuinely curious about you. He hands you his phone before the plane takes off, begging to see your Instagram.

You grin as you take the device and tap in your username, showing him the profile that pops up.

“God damn,” he sighs as he scrolls through your images. Selfies, pictures with friends, your dog, everything. “You’re really fucking attractive.”

You blush and watch as he presses the ‘follow’ button. You’re just as eager to get a glimpse at his own profile. The man looks like he could be a model, you’re sure his pictures do him justice. Plus, you’re dying to show your friends the hottie who hit on you in the airport.

The flight takes off and you settle in for a long, 15 hour flight with your new companion.

The chill of the recycled air prickles at your skin, and you’re tugging on the thin airplane blanket as soon as you can.

He coos at you, finding the sight of you cuddled up adorable. “You’re really cute,” he states again. “I’m like, ridiculously into you.”

Your cheeks heat. “You’re like, ridiculously confident, you know?”

He offers a wink in reply.

“I’d totally fuck you.” He sighs after a moment, causing you to splutter on your own spit.

“Jesus! We just met!” Your eyes widen in surprise, looking around to ensure no one on the plane heard your conversation.

“So? What's the difference between meeting at a club or meeting on a plane? After the club, you still get laid.”

You’re silent for a moment, pondering his words. Honestly, he’s not wrong. The only difference is the level of exhibitionism he’s exuding.

But, the idea of hooking up with the handsome stranger on the flight has you aching in more than one way.

“Here?” You whisper harshly, heart rate elevating quickly.

He laughs for a moment. “Damn, I meant like in the bathroom or something, but you’ve got a better idea.”

Your cheeks are nearly tomato red in color as he winks at you.

“You down?” He asks sweetly.

You feel Taehyung’s hand land on your thigh, rubbing at the fabric of your yoga tights. You steal a glance at him and see him staring right back at you, a smirk clear in his perfectly shaped lips.

“I-...,” it’s hard to talk, let alone breathe. Taehyung is offering to pleasure you right here in the middle of a crowded plane. The thought is heady and very persuasive. “Will you stop if I ask you to?”

Tae’s eyes soften. “Of course. You just say the word and I’ll stop.”

His reaction seems genuine and makes your heart flutter in relief. You worry your bottom lip for just a moment, and then nod your agreement.

“Just keep quiet,” you whisper and his grin is wicked.

“I’d worry about yourself in that regard.”

You’re suddenly thankful the old man sitting next to Taehyung on the aisle seat is fast asleep, blackout mask covering his eyes and earbuds shoved in his ears.

Tae’s fingers slide up and down your leg. He sees your blissed out face already and winks.

Fuck, it’s incredible how quickly he turns you on. His hand on your leg has you absolutely soaking wet. You weren’t sure you wanted to know what else he could do, your body might not handle it.

His fingers run up higher, towards where your thighs meet. He grazes his touch over your core and you’re sure he can feel your wetness. It feels like your whole body is burning, his touch igniting flames wherever he drags his fingers.

He leans over to whisper in your ear. “I’m a little cold, mind if I share the blanket?”

You can only nod, the power of speech completely gone now. You gasp as his fingers maintain an up and down motion along your clothed slit.

He chuckles and pulls the blanket over himself to join you in the warmth. To any bystander on the plane, you appear as a loved up couple sharing a blanket for a nice nap. In reality, you’re strangers desperate to feel each other.

“Pull these leggings down for me, baby?” He asks, but it sounds like a demand. You’re so into it you can’t even breathe. You idly obey, lifting your hips slightly to push the leggings down just far enough to not be suspicious.

He turns his body to rest his head on your shoulder, giving off the illusion of a lovesick boyfriend wanting to cuddle.

“Fuck,” he moans into your ear. His finger is rubbing along your pussy now, gathering up the slick that has gathered. “So fucking wet for me.”

You swallow thickly and try to bite back the loud moan begging to leave your lips.

“Do you like that, babe?” He whispers, the breath in your ear making you shiver. “You want me to finger you here on the plane?”

“P-please,” you croak out. He turns your face towards him and presses his lips against yours. The kiss is all innocence, as his fingers slide into your core. He’s the definition of heaven and hell. You stifle a moan against his lips as you feel him enter you, his fingers curling up as he begins a gentle thrust. The silver rings on his fingers are cold, and you’re sure they’ll be covered in your slick by the time he’s done with you.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groans. “You feel like fucking heaven baby.”

You’re trying to stay quiet, biting your lip and breathing harshly through your nose. His fingers pick up a pace and you’re desperate, legs spreading to allow him better access.

“God,” he whispers into your ear, making you shiver. “I wish I could kneel down and eat you right now. I bet you taste so good.”

He’s filthy, his words becoming more lascivious as he continues fucking into you. His pace becomes punishing, and you’re sure if someone looked over they could see the rhythmic bounce of the blanket.

“F-fuck,” you manage. He’s curling his fingers just right, and the metal of his rings is cold and slick from the wetness spilling from you.

“You wanna cum for me, baby?” He asks, kissing your lips quickly. “You wanna cum all over my hand?”

You’re nodding quickly, trying to keep your eyes open to watch for any sign of being caught, but the thrill is forcing them closed.

“Yes, please,” you’re begging and trying so hard to maintain your low whisper. Breathing is even harder now as you feel your body reacting to his powerful fingers thrusting into you. The coil inside you is so near snapping it nearly hurts.

“So polite, baby,” he caresses your ear with a lave of his tongue. “Let go for me, pet. Let me see you cum on me in the middle of this plane.”

It seems as if you’re programmed to obey, and your body reacts in accord to his demands. The coil snaps and your cunt is convulsing around his fingers. Taehyung plasters his lips against yours to muffle your moaning, while coaxing your walls with his fingers to continue pulsing around him.

It takes a moment to come down, and Tae pulls away from your lips which leaves you breathless.

“Fuck, you’re the hottest person I’ve literally ever met,” he sighs. “I’d marry you right now if I could.”

You blush as you pant hard, feeling your wetness slip down your core to the leather seat underneath you. You grimace at the feeling and Tae smirks. He pops his slick finger into his mouth to clean it, maintaining constant eye contact with you, before he slips it out and presses the call flight attendant button.

Your eyes widen and you’re squirming to make sure the blanket covers you. Taehyung looks like the picture of professionalism as the elderly attendant comes to your row.

“Hi, my wife spilled her drink. Could we get some extra napkins?”

The attendant nods and slips away, leaving you with your blown senses and quivering legs. She’s back in an instant with a stack of napkins and Taehyung smiles sweetly at you.

“Let me help you, babe,” he grins. “You’re so clumsy, it’s adorable.” His hand slips back between your thighs, wiping at the mess he wrought out of you, before his fingers dance on your clit yet again.

The 15 hour flight may be the best and most torturous one yet.

By the time the plane lands on American soil, you’ve orgasmed 4 times at the hand of Taehyung. You’ve also managed to give him a ferocious handjob that left some questionable stains on the airline provided blanket, and taken a nap in his embrace.

It’s single-handedly the weirdest flight you’ve ever taken but definitely your favorite.

Tae walks next to you as you exit the plane, hand in hand. You don’t know what the fuck is happening but you’re feeling as if you’ve just been crowned queen of England.

“So, my wife,” Taehyung jokes. He kept the marriage roleplay up the whole flight, even regaling the once-sleeping man next to him with stories of how you met and where you got married. The whole scenario had you completely flustered and heart fluttering anxiously as he described how beautiful you were on your wedding day.

“I need to stop at the bathroom. Would you care to come with and watch my luggage?” He asks you, eyebrow raising suggestively.

You’re silent for a moment, but notice his growing smirk.

“Of course, darling,” you play. He squeezes your hand in response and drags you to the closest private bathroom he can find.

It’s not big and it’s definitely seen better cleaning, but you don’t care as soon as Tae’s lips cover yours the moment the door closes. All luggage is dropped and you’re throwing your arms around his neck. He holds you tight and lifts you up slightly.

“God, I wanted to kiss you like that the whole flight,” he sighs after pulling away. “I also wanted to fuck your tight little cunt until you can’t walk straight.”

“What’s stopping you, husband?” You tease as you press your hips to his.

He growls with appreciation as he lunges forward to kiss you again, teeth nipping at your lips and tongue swirling around your mouth.

“That’s my dirty little girl,” he whispers as he tugs the shirt you’re wearing off your body. “Someone loves getting fucked where anyone could walk in.”

You allow the fabric to fall to the ground, before you’re attaching your lips to his face, kissing and sucking down his neck. His skin tastes salty and sweet, and you’re desperate to lick every inch.

“Mmm, my little exhibitionist,” he slaps your ass and the sting elicits a gasp from you. “I bet your cute pussy is still dripping wet from earlier.” He pushes you against the cold tile of the wall. “Let me see please?”

You nod as he kisses your lips one last time, then descends to his knees and pulls your leggings and hopelessly soiled panties with him. You’re sure your core is drenched. The man made you cum more times in one flight than you had in most of your hookups, and that was from his fingers alone.

“Shit,” he gasps as you step out of the leggings and expose your drenched folds. “This is the prettiest little pussy I’ve ever seen. Still so wet from my fingers.”

He drags a digit through and pops it into his mouth, savoring the taste. You’re whimpering, worried your legs will give out from all blood rushing to your cunt.

“I dreamed I got to wake you up from our nap by eating you out,” he admits as he pulls your folds apart and licks his lips at the sight of your clit. “I want to wake up between your thighs.”

Any chance for retort is cut off, throat going dry as he pushes his tongue against your bundle of nerves, already overstimulated from an orgasm-filled flight. He laps at it, swirling around it vulgarly before dipping lower to fuck his tongue into you.

“I could fucking drink you.”

Tae isn’t shy with words, that is a fact you’re now very aware of. He commentates the entire thing, whispering his desires as he fucks his tongue in you and suckles at your clit.

“Tae, oh god,” you sigh. Your pussy has never been more pleasured in your short life, and in such a short time period.

“Fuck, I love it when you say my name,” he whispers with a particularly rough lick to the hood of your clit. “I wanna make you cum on my tongue but I need to fuck you before my cock explodes.”

“Yes, please, need you!” You whine needily and he slurps you one last time before he slips back up to level with you.

You assist him in undoing his jeans and he whips his stiff cock out.

“I want to suck you off,” you murmur as you stare at the head dripping with pre-cum.

“Oh Christ,” he gasps and tilts his head back. “I want that too but I’m so desperate to be inside you, baby. Next time.” He smirks.

He’s lining himself up, kissing your nose and lips and face as he pushes into you.

It feels like the culmination of all your desire and passion. You’re finally full of him after 15 hours of his delicious foreplay and nothing has ever felt more satisfying than his push into your drenched channel. He feels as if he slots right into you perfectly, pussy walls molding around him like a puzzle piece you didn’t realize was missing.

“Holy shit babe,” he groans. “Sweetest little pussy I’ve ever felt.” His voice sounds dreamy, and his grip on your hips tightens. “Shit, I could get used to this.”

You’re whimpering with want, desperate to feel his cock thrusting inside you.

“Need you, Tae. Please fuck me.”

He’s quick to comply, slowly pulling his length out before slamming it back in, eliciting a loud sob from your lips. His cock slipping and fucking into you is the best feeling and you feel like you’ve injected the drug that is Tae directly into your veins.

Taehyung keeps his filthy monologue running as he ruts into you.

“You feel so good, little one,” he gasps. “So wet and tight for me.”

The tip of his cock bumps against your cervix, jolting you with each thrust. You wish you could take him deeper, so deep he never leaves.

“Gonna cum on my cock, aren’t you?” he asks as he tugs on your nipple. “Fuck, I want you to cum.”

His lips move to suck at your neck, and your hands claw harsh red lines down his back. Your insides feel like lava, hot and boiling and ready to burn you down instantly.

“P-please, so fucking close,” you weep. You’re sure you’ll never get fucked as good as you are right now, never feel as satisfied as you have over the last 15 hours. You’re desperate for everything and you want more, more.

“Yeah, fuck, cum for me little slut. Let the airport hear you get railed!”

Your back is arching into him and he picks up the speed and power. Wet skin slapping on skin echoes around the bathroom like music and your combined sighs and moans are the lyrics to a song only you and Taehyung could create.

“Oh my god, I’m cumming!” You scream. “Tae! Fuck Tae! Tae!” You chant his name like a prayer, devoting your orgasmic bliss to the deity pounding into you. He growls ferally, the sweet litany of his name bringing him right to the edge.

Your cunt pulsates around him, gripping his cock and sucking him in. He shudders a gasp as he feels himself unravel completely by the feel of your completion. He pulls out quickly and jerks himself to the end, cum splattering all over your stomach and tits. He whines your name as it lands on your skin, and he wishes he could see this every single day.

It takes you both a few seconds to breathe again, clinging to each other like long lost lovers.

Tae smiles down at your cum covered stomach. “Messy.”

“Seems like your wife isn’t the only clumsy one,” you wink. You drag your finger through the viscous liquid and lick it into your mouth. Taehyung groans.

“Shit you’re gonna get me ready for round 2 and I’ve got a taxi to catch in 5 minutes.”

He presses against you and kisses you, uncaring about the wetness pressing in between stomachs.

“That was the best flight I’ve ever taken in my life,” he sighs as you both unlatch and begin the process of dressing again.

You blush like a cherry and nod. “I only want to fly with that kind of accommodation from now on.”

He wiggles his eyebrows. “We could make that happen.”

“Yeah?” You ask as you slip back into your slide sandals. “You want to see me again?”

“Are you fucking kidding?” He hops on one foot to slip his own shoes on. “I’d fucking fly 15 hours again just to be with you.”

Hope blooms in your chest, thankful that for some reason he seems as interested in continuing as you are. You press towards him again and kiss him deeply, tongue slipping past his lips to demonstrate your desire.

“Call me?” You ask. He nods in a daze.

Your phone is ringing incessantly, reminding you that your best friend is waiting outside the airport and wondering where you are. You have to leave and you find it hard to say goodbye.

“Thank you for flying Kim Taehyung airlines,” he jokes as you grab your luggage and open the bathroom door.

You choke on your laughter and blow a kiss, then push forward and leave behind the gorgeous and confident man of 14B in the bathroom.

It’s not until an hour later when you settle into your hotel bed that you notice an instagram message.

vante 12:45 am: let’s meet tonight. let me show you first class 😉

-2 years later-

The dash from the chapel to the airport is ridiculously quick. You barely have enough time to change out of your white gown and slip into something comfortable, wave goodbye to the friends and family gathered in your honor, and slide into a taxi towards the international terminals.

Tae holds your hand with a grin. He’s just as tired as you but you both can’t hold back your excitement, your awe of each other, elated by the events of the day and the thrill of the unknown future. He kisses you deeply during the taxi ride, uncaring about the way the driver eyes you two. Kissing Tae will never get old, you think, and you’re struck by the way he makes you feel each time his lips press to yours.

His hands linger on your body, then slips to tangle your fingers together, diamond ring slipping against his smooth metal one. He wants to kiss you more, take you there in the backseat, but you’re pulling up to the terminal before you know it and being tugged out of the backseat with your luggage in tow.

Check in is a breeze, and you’re suddenly sitting at the waiting area of the gate—nose in a book as Taehyung sits beside you and fiddles with the luggage and boarding passes.

“Wow, you’re really cute,” he speaks after moments of silence. He peers at you over the book.

You lower it to your lap with a sly grin.

“I think I need to use the bathroom.” He says. The sparkle in his eyes sends shocks through you, as if it’s the first time you’re seeing him again. “Care to assist me with my luggage?”

You can’t fight the giggle and blush that polishes your cheeks.

“Lead the way, husband.”

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