#you all give me the chance to ramble and i'm so grateful!!!

[cherubchoirs]

im so sorry this is like the 3 billionth time ive sent an ask but the way you describe the stone-like skin that covers fallen gabe's body makes me think of like. a ball jointed doll. which i might actually go for that kinda look if i ever finish and or post something in the next year. but does that make him heavier?? gabriel becomes a heavy class enemy real?!??!

READING MY MIND...it was just cut off in the first pic i posted of gabriel with his tail, but right above him i had this sketch:

so yes you're exactly right!!!! he's based on a combination of enemies like the hideous mass and ball-jointed dolls, which i thought was an appropriate mash-up for a fallen angel (plus he needed the ability to still bend/articulate, so it made sense to take this route) like in the sketch, the separations appear as more golden cracks...and i think he made them himself as his skin hardened, breaking himself open in order to move (v1 assists in stubborn areas) i'm working on a fully-finished piece of complete fallen gabriel (or....i have the idea of it. in my mind.), but his armor covers most of these details!

and for your question, yes again!!!! i mentioned it briefly in the gabe slam-storage ask, BUT he does become a heavy class so he's entirely grounded and acts as a very effective anchor point for v1 lol (it's not...canon ig, but i imagine anything in the medium/medium-heavy classes can be little unpredictable with the whiplash, so they can be unreliable sometimes if v1 wants to pull itself to them. not so anymore with gabe!!)

[awearywritersworld]

"took you long enough"

gojo satoru x reader summary: when you ask your best friend to meet the guy you've been seeing, things don't go quite as planned. w/c: 3.2k tags/warnings: angst to smut with a fluffy ending. 18+. friends to lovers. jealous gojo. curse words. drinking. gojo shoves ur love interest. he's just kind of an ass to him in general. fem!reader. no use of y/n. a/n: i don't often write smut, but i kinda got carried away.. carpe diem, i say masterlist

gojo is tired of hearing you ramble on about the new guy you've been seeing. he barely even glances at your phone screen when you try to show him a picture you took together.

"you're way out of his league," he states dryly.

"hardly," you scoff. "men don't exactly line up for me like women do for you."

it'd be a lie to claim you didn't have a thing for gojo at one point, but you learned a long time ago that he isn't interested in you that way. it wasn't hard to tell, given his parade of hookups and the occasional two week relationship. you've gotten over it though... for the most part, anyway.

he rolls his eyes. "i assure you that's only because you're shy, princess."

"okay, so you should be rejoicing that your best friend finally landed herself a boyfriend—"

"boyfriend?"

"well.. it's not official yet, but i think he's going to ask me soon!"

your apparent enthusiasm at the prospect leaves a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. of course, it's only because he wants the best for you and this guy certainly isn't it. "you've gone on like two dates."

"'toru, i've been seeing him for almost a month!" when he doesn't respond, you continue speaking. "so... that's why i was sort of hoping you'd come out with us tonight."

he looks at you increduously, "i am not third wheeling."

"you won't be!" you assure. "shoko and kento said they'd come. i just want you to meet him because you're really important to me and i actually think this could go somewhere—"

"alright, alright," he acquiesces, albeit begrudgingly. he's never been able to say no to you.

you squeal with excitement, throwing your arms around his neck in a brief hug. "i can't wait! we're all meeting at seven, i'll text you the address."

after a quick kiss to his cheek, you gather your things, all but running out the door. you weren't going to give him a chance to change his mind.

he stares after you wordlessly, running a hand through his hair while an unfamiliar tightness overcomes his chest.

when gojo enters the bar, he spots you right away despite the sizable crowd. as he makes his way toward your group, he can't help but notice how pretty you look in your little dress. in fact, you'd look absolutely perfect if it weren't for the fact you have another man's arm around your waist.

wait, what?

your laugh rings out across the room and judging by the smirk on shoko's face, he can tell she's said something you find unreasonably funny. once you spot him, your face lights up and you pull away from your almost boyfriend to give gojo a hug, something that brings him a sense of satisfaction.

"hey, sweetheart," he greets loud enough that the other man can hear. "who's this?"

"satoru, this is shinya!" you're beaming at him expectantly, so gojo has no choice but to extend his hand.

"hey, man." shinya shakes it firmly. "it's great to meet you. my girl's told me a lot about you."

gojo's eye twitches and he decides almost immediately that he finds shinya utterly insufferable. his voice is grating and he's too short and didn't you say you prefer guys with lighter hair—

"nice to meet you, too," gojo responds cooly. "i'm always happy to meet one of her friends."

nanami and shoko share a knowing look, more than prepared to break out their hypothetical popcorn. and boy, is this as good an occasion as any.

the strongest sorcerer isn't one to indulge in liquor, but how can he refrain when he has to be in the same room as shinya? each time he touches you, looks in your direction, calls you some sickening pet name— whenever he breathes in your general vicinity, really— gojo brings his drink up to his lips.

everyone else seems to be getting along, but unfortunately, he grows increasingly snarky with each glass he empties.

shinya asks what you'd like when he goes up for another round and it's 'oh, you don't know her favorite drink? well, i guess you're not as close as we are.'

shinya pulls your chair out for you and it's 'wow, you really got yourself a gentleman, princess.'

shinya mentions that he's fairly well versed in martial arts and it's 'really? maybe we should go out back and spar. i think it'd be fun.'

nanami steps in then, not entirely convinced gojo would hesitate before laying him out. "you can put the measuring tape away, idiot."

shinya is being an impressively good sport, but your anxiety has you emptying glasses in a hasty manner, too. you have no idea what's going on with gojo. you understand that he can be abrasive at times and that communication definitely isn't his strong suit, but his behavior is just absurd. you force an awkward laugh at nanami's comment.

"not that i'm not having, um, a great time and all!" you hiccup before continuing. "but i'd really like to dance. c'mon shinya!"

nanami and shoko wind up joining you both, which comes as a surprise. neither of them are exactly the partying type (not that you are either), but you're happy to see them having fun. honestly, you can't remember the last time either of them let loose.

you wonder if they also just wanted to escape gojo's snide remarks. now that they aren't ringing in your ear every other minute, your nerves have certainly calmed down a bit. well, until—

"so you do know that he's totally in love with you, right?"

"who?" you question, looking around as if it'd be obvious.

and it is, just not to you.

shinya chuckles. "gojo."

"what?" you bellow, completely dumfounded. "no way! i mean he's not— and i'm not— we're just friends."

"yeah?" he still sounds amused, nodding in gojo's direction. "is that why he looks like that?"

turning toward your table, even you have to admit he looks completely miserable. unbeknownst to you, he's spent the last half hour sending away every woman that approaches him asking to dance. he just isn't in the mood right now. at least, that's what he tells himself.

"er.. he just doesn't get out that much," you try your best to brush it off.

"whatever you say, baby."

you're relieved he doesn't seem terribly bothered by the idea, even if you find it completely implausible. it's true you spend a lot of time together and that you know one another like the back of your hands, but you'd given up any hope of it being more than friendship a long time ago. you'd moved on.

but if that's the case, why did shinya calling you baby suddenly feel so wrong? you convince yourself it must just be the alcohol.

when the four of you finally stumble back to the table, you realize you've missed last call. though it's probably for the best, as the five of you are certainly in for a nasty hangover the following morning.

it's near closing time, but the crowd has hardly thinned out and the music is still beating loudly in your ears. you're going back to jujutsu tech with your friends rather than home with shinya, so you loudly exchange goodbyes over the music as he gets ready to leave.

"i had a really great time tonight," he tells you. "maybe we could go for dinner tomorrow? there's something i've been wanting to ask you."

"okay!" you agree eagerly, eyes shining. "i'll call you in the morning."

gojo feels his stomach drop, his jaw clenching bitterly. he tries to tell himself to relax because this is what you want, but he just can't seem to get his thoughts straight.

shinya leans down, his lips meeting yours sweetly, and it causes white hot anger to flood gojo's body. it all happens so fast, shinya's ripped away from you with astounding force and he staggers backward. you've been struggling to hear over the noise all night, though you make out each word that follows with striking clarity.

"get the fuck away from her!"

gojo stalks off before anyone has time to process what just happened. he's already half way across the room when you come to your senses.

"'toru!" you call out, taking a step in his direction when he doesn't respond. "satoru!"

you take another step but you're stopped when something pulls you back. you look down to find shinya's hand wrapped around your wrist before your gaze turns up to meet his eye. "look, i really like you, but if you go after him, don't bother calling tomorrow."

the ultimatum is simple, but so is your decision. "i'm sorry."

you run off before he can say anything else, shoving your way through the bar patrons, and follow gojo out the door into the cold air of night.

"satoru!" you shout once more, thankful that his pace is slow enough for you to catch up. he turns to face you when you tug on his sleeve.

you nearly shy away from him, his expression something fierce, but the liquor in your system gives you courage. "what the hell was that? you embarrassed me—"

"i don't fucking care," he spits.

he's never taken such a tone with you, so you throw your hands in the air and exhale impatiently. "what do you mean? you should care! you're my friend, aren't you?"

"that's exactly what i mean. you're supposed to be mine," he growls.

you're not sure how it happens, but the next thing you know, his lips are crashing into yours, your teeth knocking together with the force. his hands paw at your hips, pulling your body against his greedily.

"i can't believe," he mumbles against your lips, "you wasted your time," his hands find your hair, tugging your head back and revealing your neck, "with that fucking loser."

once he's finished speaking, his lips trail across your jaw, landing just below your ear. your eyes flutter open and you're suddenly very aware that you're standing in the middle of a public sidewalk.

"'toru," your voice is breathy, even though you're trying desperately to keep it together. "there are people—"

he pulls away heatedly, his eyes narrowed. "you didn't care when he kissed you in front of everyone."

"yeah, but that was just a peck," you reason, though if he keeps this up, you're worried you might lose your resolve.

"tch, i guess you're right." the familiar sensation of warping through space and time sweeps through your body for a few seconds before your feet meet solid ground again. you don't need to look around to know you're in his bedroom. "we're going to do a lot more than that tonight."

your stomach flips at his words, heat rushing to your core. his lips find your neck once more, leaving sloppy kisses along your skin. "that's what you want right? for me to show you who you belong to?"

you nod weakly, feeling as if you're in a daze.

"ah, ah. use your words, sweetheart."

"yes— ah—" he sucks on the spot just above your collarbone before nipping the delicate skin there. "yes, 'toru."

"then get on the bed," he orders lowly.

and who are you to disobey? you can't honestly say you haven't been dreaming of this for years. his blanket feels cool to the touch, making you realize suddenly how much your skin is already burning with desire.

he kneels beside the bed, wasting no time before pushing up your dress and pulling your legs apart. you see his shoulders fall as he exhales harshly at the sight. his eyes flutter shut when he presses a kiss to your core over the tiny cotton panties you decided to wear.

he's rudely reminded of the possibility that you may have put them on with another man in mind.

"did you let him fuck you?" he interrogates. his eyes don't leave yours as he begins placing open mouthed kisses on the inside of your thigh.

"n-no!" it's almost embarrassing how vehemently you deny it, but the man between your legs takes great pleasure in your response.

"mm, knew you were a good girl."

he hooks a finger beneath your panties, pulling them down excruciatingly slow. you buck your hips up once he throws them off to the side.

"feeling eager, princess?" he taunts, his breath fanning across your center.

you nod, your legs shaking with anticipation, before remembering what he said about using your words. "please, 'toru. need you so bad."

he can't possibly deny you, not when you beg for him so sweetly. he presses a soft kiss to your swollen bud before flattening his tongue against it, drawing circles there. he groans when your slickness coat his chin.

you whine when his eyes shift up to meet yours and push yourself against him even further. he chuckles against your skin, but truth be told, he's just as eager as you are. he slips one long finger inside of you, relishing in how easily you take it.

"oh—" you cry out as he adds another finger, his tongue pressing against you just a little harder.

his other hand is gripping your thigh roughly, the flesh spilling between his fingers. one of your arms is supporting your weight, but the other reaches out, your fingers threading through his hair.

you're panting now, tugging on his white locks in pleasure. he moans in response and the way your walls are clenching around him lets him know you're close. "c'mon baby, cum for me."

that's all it takes for you to unravel, his name falling from your lips over and over. he doesn't stop until he's sure you've come down from your high.

"you tasted so perfect," he tells you, unbuckling his pants in a hurry and shoving them down his legs.

his shirt and boxers follow quickly thereafter, so you pull your dress over your head. you can't tear your eyes away from his cock, it's long and thick and pretty.

he pushes you back against the bed and crawls on top of you, but then he just stares down at your face. just as you begin to wonder if something is wrong—

"you're so fucking beautiful. have i ever told you that?"

your mind reels for an answer, but you don't have to worry about it for long, as his lips capture yours. you can taste yourself on his tongue

"tell me what you want," he murmurs against your lips as he moves his cock along your slit, coating himself in your wetness.

"need you, 'toru. p-please, i need you to fuck me."

he smiles against your lips as he lines himself up with your entrance, pushing inside slowly. he leans back to find that your eyes are screwed shut and your lips are parted in bliss. he's determine to seer the image into his mind forever.

splitting you open is absolute ecstasy, the noises he's making are proof enough of that. "fuck, princess. fuck."

he nearly whimpers when he bottoms out. "god, you feel so perfect. i could stay in this pussy forever."

your legs wrap around his waist once he begins to pump in and out. "never felt so full, 'toru. it feels s'good."

he shudders at your words and laces his fingers with yours, sweat beading on his forehead as he picks up his pace. his head dips down, his teeth nipping the skin of your neck aggressively.

"p-people are gonna see—"

"i want them to," he rumbles. "want everyone to know how good i made this tight little pussy feel."

you can't argue with him, not when this is the best anyone's ever made you feel. his head shifts even lower, his tongue moving along your nipples in a way that has your back arching off the bed.

he uses the opportunity to snake an arm beneath your lower back, holding your body against himself firmly. the new angle has you mewling his name in the most sinful way.

"you're takin' me so well. like you were made for this cock."

your head's lolling to the side as you fall to pieces beneath him and he can feel himself getting close. "look at me when i fuck you, baby."

you do as he asks, his hips stuttering when he sees the tears of pleasure swimming in your eyes. "you're mine, aren't you? tell me you're mine."

your pussy clenches around his cock so tight it's almost painful. "i'm yours, 'toru. all yours."

"fuck, that's my good girl. gonna cum for me again, hm?"

you nod up at him meekly, too far gone for words, but he doesn't seem to mind this time.

"'i'm close too, sweetheart." his fingers reach down to rub circles on your clit, eliciting a throaty moan from you.

you feel your stomach tighten and you're nearly there, but you don't go over the edge until he begs, "can i fill you up? want to so bad."

you can't find the strength to respond, so you hope the way you tighten your legs around his waist and claw at his back is answer enough.

your head rolls to the side once more, your vision going fuzzy around the edges. he grips your chin between his thumb and forefinger, turning you to face him. "please, baby. wanna see you when i cum—"

he hums your name through a choked moan, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he reaches his own high. he collapses on top of you, laying there for a moment before pulling out and rolling onto his back beside you.

no words are shared, both of you trying to catch your breath and slow your heart rate. the silence gives your mind a chance to wander, which is never a good thing.

you consider the fact that gojo's never kept a girl around for more than a week or two— that this probably meant way more to you than it did to him. you sit up feeling stupid and wrap your arms around your chest.

you look around the room in search of your panties, his cum running down your thighs when you stand up to grab them. it's not until you pull them up your legs that he opens his eyes. he props himself up on his elbow, furrowing his eyebrows when you pick up your dress.

"what are you doing?" he asks curiously.

"well, i figured i should go back to my room—"

"what, are you crazy?" he gawks at you. "get your ass back in this bed."

you approach him shyly, your apprehension clear to him. "i mean, you can if you want, but why would you go back to your room?"

"i just didn't know if you... you know.."

"no, i don't know." if you knew him any less, you might think he was intent on torturing you, but it's clear to you that he's genuinely confused.

you sigh. "i just didn't know what this meant for us."

"baby, i didn't think i could make it any more clear." he sits up to grab you by the wrist, tugging you onto his lap and wrapping his arms around your waist. "i'm all yours, so you're stuck with me." he tries to mask the nervousness in his voice when he asks, "is that okay with you?"

you nod, hiding your face in his neck. "took you long enough."

[noxtivagus]

good afternoon

[matchingbatbites]

Love Grows - Part 2

More teen dad Steve! This shaping up to be around 8-9 parts, so keep an eye out for more!

Ao3 | Part 1 | Part 3

March '85

Steve gets more comfortable bringing Rosemary to school. Twice a week he brings the 6 month old along as he goes to class, and when Eddie asks him about it one day, Steve just shrugs. "I used to pay for a sitter on those days, because the usual one can't watch her, but I'd rather have her with me since everyone knows anyway." And yeah, that makes sense.

Eddie starts taking her during Steve's free period, so the guy has a chance to do some schoolwork without worrying about keeping an eye on his kid. He enjoys it, the time he gets with Rosie one-on-one, but he really enjoys lunch on those days, because Steve will bring her out to Eddie's van - which Eddie scrubbed clean before offering the first time - and they'll eat lunch and talk while Rosie stretches out in the soft blankets laid out in the back.

He gets some weird looks, including the occasional piercing stare from Nancy Wheeler that he pointedly ignores, as well as his own share of whispers whenever he goes around with Rosie. He’s grateful that the years of acting out, of perfectly honing his loud, unruly persona has left him immune to the chatter. All that matters is Rosie, and Steve, and making sure they’re both taken care of.

The first time Steve asks him to watch Rosie outside school hours, he is visibly stressed. Apparently there's a big basketball game this Friday night and Steve's usual sitter is unavailable, and is there any way he could watch Rosie for a couple of hours? Please?

There's a little voice in the back of Eddie’s mind that screams about it being a Hellfire night, and a baby would be too distracting, would just get in the way. The tantrum is quickly silenced when Steve shoots him those pleading, hazel puppy eyes, and fuck, Eddie’s resolve falls like a house of cards. On Friday he finds himself taking Rosie's carrier and diaper bag as Steve rambles on a little, clearly nervous. 

"I fed her like an hour ago, so she should be okay until after the game. She should stay asleep the entire time, but if she wakes up, just hold her- And you know what you're doing, I don't know why I'm going on about this." 

Eddie can't help the smile that spreads over his face as he reaches out to pat Steve's shoulder. "It's fine, man. You're worried about the game and you're projecting. It'll be okay." 

Steve nods and takes a breath. "Do you want me to meet you back here after the game? Or I can come to wherever you are to get her, if that's easier." 

Eddie hoists the diaper bag higher on his shoulder. "I’m actually going to be hanging around for a little while. There's a room back behind the drama department, you can meet me there to pick her up." 

“Yeah, I can do that,” he says, hands twisting nervously in the strap of his own bag, and Eddie leans over, nudges Steve with his elbow. “You’re gonna do great, Stevie. You’ll have to tell me all about it when you pick up Rosie.”

Steve seems to appreciate the encouragement, gives Eddie a soft “Sure thing,” as they walk into the school together, and the younger waves before they split up and head their separate ways. 

Eddie's friends are baffled when they see Rosie, her carrier placed in a spare seat so he can see her easier, and yeah, Eddie gets it. They know that he watches her sometimes, have seen him around with her, but he’s never brought her into their circle before.

Gareth is the first to actually comment on it with a curious "Hey, Eddie? Why do you have Harrington's baby?"

"Because, Gareth, I'm an excellent babysitter, and my services were needed." 

He sends Gareth a blinding smile and the younger rolls his eyes, opens his mouth to say something but is cut off when Andy smacks his hand on the table.

"Listen, Eddie. I know you've got your whole, whatever the fuck, going on with Harrington, but Hellfire is sacred, man! You can’t just bring in a fucking baby because King Steve asked you to!" 

The room goes quiet at the outburst, and Eddie takes a breath, places his hands on the table and leans forward as he levels a look at the guy. "Steve is raising this baby by himself, and when he needed a hand he came to me because he trusts me, and I agreed because he’s my friend. If you have a problem with me helping out a friend, Andy, then you can fucking leave."

There’s a beat as Eddie stares him down, dares him to say something else before Andy looks away, and Eddie nods firmly as he relaxes a bit, satisfied that there won’t be any more objections about Rosie being there. He starts the session soon after, and the interaction slips to the back of his mind as they all focus on the game

Despite Steve's assurances, Rosie wakes up after about an hour, but before Eddie can reach over to shush her, Gareth is on his feet. He pulls her from the carrier and cradles her in his arms, and when Eddie shoots him a look he just shrugs. 

"I haven't been able to do this since Maggie was a baby, let me have this, man." 

Right, Eddie forgot about the fucking eleven year gap between Gareth and his little sister. The guy probably has more baby experience than Eddie and Steve combined, and that's the only reason Eddie allows it to happen, not because Gareth looks so quietly happy to be holding a baby again. He almost says something when Matt takes her a little while later, but Gareth shows him how to hold her, how to make sure she's comfortable, and Eddie settles down, keeping an eye out while still running the game.

Over the next hour, Rosie gets passed around the table. When someone's arms get tired, she goes on to the next person, although Chris pointedly passes over Andy and hands her directly to Jeff. Eddie smirks at the slight disappointment on Andy's face, and the smug delight on Jeff’s as he cradles the sleeping baby close, shushes her gently when she lets out a weak cry.

The whole scene makes Eddie proud, proud that his boys aren’t afraid to show this level of care for a child they don’t even know, that belongs to someone they have a history of disliking. 

They're completely engrossed in the game when there's a knock on the door, and Eddie looks up to see Steve entering the room. He looks around and frowns, and Eddie feels a rush of - panic? resolve? - when he glances over to see Jeff still holding Rosie.

Steve makes his way over to Eddie, and the older braces himself for a rude comment, prepares to defend his flock, to the point that he’s surprised when instead, Steve says "You could have told me you already had plans for tonight, Eddie. I would have found someone else." 

The weight in Eddie's stomach lifts a little, and he scoffs as he steps over to take Rosie from his friend. “It’s fine, Steve. She’s been silent as a mouse, a perfect angel, honestly.” Steve hums skeptically, watches as Eddie straps Rosie back into her carrier before handing it and the bag over. 

Eddie motions to the door, follows Steve out and closes it behind them as he says "Listen, Steve, I'm sorry. I should have asked before I let anyone else hold her, but Gareth started it and he knows a lot about babies because of his sister, and then Matt took her from him before I could and-" 

He cuts himself off when he sees the amused smile on Steve's face, and he gives a confused "What?" 

Steve shakes his head. "I don't mind if your friends hold her, Eddie. She's pretty used to being held, and they seemed to be careful with her."

"You don't mind if everyone holds her?" Eddie asks, trying to be subtle, and Steve, beautiful, smart Steve, just smiles wider. 

"You know, when I got my face beat in by Billy Hargrove last year, it's because he was being a racist asshole towards one of my kids. I wasn't gonna stand for it, so I put myself between him and Lucas. He broke a plate over my head for it." He settles the diaper bag higher on his shoulder and takes a step back. "Your friends seem nice, Eddie. Maybe you can introduce me next time?"

Steve seems to be making a habit of surprising him, and Eddie can't stop the smile that spreads across his face as he nods. "Sure thing, Stevie. Get home safe, yeah?" 

"Will do. Night, Eddie," he says before walking off, and Eddie is alone in the hall when he responds with a soft "Night, sweetheart."

Tag list:

@luciana-rowan @bidisastersworld @little-gae-shit @thehumblefigtree @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcarin @estrellami-1 @shrimply-a-menace @anaibis @livelaughlexa @vampireinthesun @zerokrox-blog @mackdaddyofheimlichcountyy @idea-less-author @thegingerrapunzel @fantasyfr3ak @stevesbipanic @electrick-marionnett @tuesdaycats @seths-rogens @flustratedcas @qomrades @artiststarme @death-the-elf @stardustonpages @trensu @otaku-bell-livemotto @thev01dd @demolvr

If you asked to be tagged and you're not in this list, it means I tried to tag you and your name didn't come up! Feel free to ask again, and I'll try again on the next part.

[heliads]

Happy new year!!! I was wondering if I could request someting for Peter Hayes? I'm a sucker for the "I hate everyone but you troupe" and also neck kisses so maybe something like that? He's just going off about something and reader sneeks up behind him and gives him a kiss on the neck and he just...M E L T S.

apologies but your request has been sacrificed in the name of maintaining my work life balance. the neck kisses thing is throwing me off from peter's character so you have been bullet pointed.

masterlist

Peter Hayes has a problem where he really, really, can’t keep things to himself

He gets one thought in his head and then he’s spouting off about it for hours at a time

You listen, of course you do, but man, if it isn’t astonishing to hear the depth and breadth of things that annoy Peter on a daily basis

In the beginning, you were always nervous that you’d do something wrong and hear your name listed among those irritants, but Peter has proven time and time again that will never be the case

He just rambles to you because you’re always the closest– he doesn’t like being separated from you, not when you’re the best audience ever

You’re not going to say that Peter started dating you because he knew it would give him more chances to monologue

It definitely helped, though

Jokes aside, Peter is very grateful for your presence in his life

You remind him to ease up when he’s been training too hard, you make even the worst days of initiation that much better

Honestly, he doesn’t know how he’d do it without you

And yes, in all your days of knowing him better than anybody, you have discovered a secret way to get Peter to lose his track of thought mid tirade

You stumbled upon it by accident, but it’s been your surefire method ever since

Here is how it went the first time, how it’s gone ever since then:

Peter finds you and a topic to complain about

He’s often overcome with indignation and takes to pacing about whatever room he’s in

You wait until his back is turned and sneak up on him, wrapping your arms around him from behind

A kiss to the neck is the final ingredient; placed carefully like a knife to the throat, it shuts him up every time

You laugh at how well it works, but Peter never has it in him to complain

After all, if you were to stop, that would be a far worse fate

divergent tag list: @rogueanschel, @with-inked-solace, @gods-fools-heroes, @23victoria, @manyfandomsfanvergent, @imwaysthelastchoice, @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed

[ro-is-struggling]

Literally no one asked for this but lately I can't stop thinking about Bucky being shy around a girl he likes. The idea of such a tall, strong, imposing man turning into a nervous mess who can't even look you in the eye drives me crazy. It's the duality of the toughness of his exterior contrasting against the softness and tenderness of his interior that leaves me screaming, crying and throwing up. So I'm gonna write about it!

Rambling under the cut (wc: 2400 This was supposed to be a drabble… ooops).

Read part 2 here!

I imagine that after everything Bucky went through he has a bit of a hard time reconnecting with people. That cheerful, confident boy who had left for war over 70 years ago was long gone and he wasn't sure he could get him back. But he was still trying hard to get better, to regain at least a little of that spirit that had been taken from him. Steve, Sam and Natasha were a great help, as well as Shuri and all those who had assisted in his deprogramming in Wakanda. His new friends were a great support, the firm foundation on which he could begin to rebuild his life. They always pushed him to experience new things, to step out of his comfort zone. 

That's how he met you.

It was an accident really. Sam had proposed the idea of going out to celebrate every time they completed a mission. He said it was because they deserved some fun after all that hard work, but Bucky knew it was all an excuse to force him to go out and have contact with people other than them. He tried to get out of it that time, excusing himself by saying he was too tired to go out, but his friends dragged him with them anyway. At the time he had hated them a little for it, but now he couldn't be more grateful.

The bar Sam wanted to go to was closed and by some chance of fate they ended up celebrating their recent victory at the bar where you worked. It wasn't the fanciest place in town, but it was cozy. It was dimly lit and although the music blared throughout the place, it wasn't unbearably loud. One could chat with friends over drinks without having to shout or feel sweaty people brushing against your body every couple of seconds. Bucky liked it, it was the first bar they went to where he really felt comfortable. And he liked it even more when his eyes met your figure behind the counter. There was something about you that called to him. He couldn't explain it in words, but for some reason he was unable to take his eyes off you. 

He immediately captured your attention as well. A man like him attracted everyone's attention every time he entered a room. He was tall, strong and imposing. His long dark brown hair covered part of his face, hiding behind the locks a mysterious, calculating look. While his friends talked and laughed among themselves, he was silent most of the time, watching his surroundings carefully, studying the people around him. He looked dangerous, but for some reason you didn't feel intimidated when you felt his gaze on your figure. You were... intrigued. So you put aside what you were doing —which wasn't much really, it was a slow night— and approached his table to take his order.

You were hoping to hear his voice, to discover something more about him through that little interaction —to hear him joke with his friends, for him to give you a corny compliment like most of the men there, maybe catch his name in the middle of a conversation. You would have settled for anything that would have helped you unveil the mystery behind his eyes, any little comment that would have helped you reveal something of his personality so you could satiate your curious mind. But he never spoke to you. He didn't even look at you as his friend ordered a round of drinks for the group. He kept his head down, his eyes glued to his fingers fiddling with a piece of paper on the table. So that night you went home with that mystery man circling around in your head. 

You thought you would never see him again, that his deep blue eyes would remain engraved in your memory, his mysterious and penetrating gaze haunting you in your dreams as your mind became obsessed with discovering more of him. And for a while that was the case. But then one day you saw him again, walking through the door of the bar with his imposing stride. You noticed he looked different, his hair was a little longer and a luscious beard adorned his face, adding to his scruffy and mysterious appearance. When your eyes met you felt your heart beat faster, electricity coursing through your body as you felt his intense gaze admiring your figure. But the moment was short-lived, the strange connection between you breaking when he looked away after a few seconds, turning to look for a table.

You were able to find out his name this time, though it wasn't because he told you, but because you'd heard his friends call him 'Bucky' a couple of times. He still didn't speak to you or look at you, at least when you approached his table. You could feel his intense gaze on you as you served other customers. He followed your every move, admiring the contour of your hips as you walked or the way your lips curved upward when your co-worker made you laugh. Sometimes you'd catch him staring at you, your eyes connecting for a few seconds before he'd look away. It was frustrating, but at the same time it left you wanting more. You longed for his arrival with each passing day, watching the door every night in hopes of seeing him come in. 

Although it wasn't long before that strange cat and mouse game you seemed to be playing started to annoy you.

Bucky and his friends became regulars, showing up at the bar once or twice a month. And over time you became friends with the whole group except for one, the only one you were really interested in getting to know. Your relationship improved a bit, at least now he talked to you from time to time, but it was nothing compared to the friendships you had formed with Steve, Nat and Sam. You knew Bucky a little better, but that was less because of your relationship and more because you had the opportunity to observe him interacting with his friends. He seemed to become more open with each new visit to the bar, chatting and laughing more freely with his friends than he had the first few times. You also noticed that he no longer seemed to be so aware of his surroundings, allowing himself to relax and get lost in the moment with his friends.

It was nice to see him getting better, letting loose a little more each day. But for some reason that didn't affect the way he behaved with you. You still felt his gaze on you at every minute, but when you approached his table he barely spoke to you. Sam, Steve and Nat always joked with you and asked you about your day, but he barely laughed along and that was if you were lucky. You didn't understand why it was so hard to get through to him, you treated him with the same attention and kindness as the rest of his friends and yet he could barely look at you. It was frustrating and honestly it was starting to piss you off. Who did he think he was to ignore you like that? Did he think he was better than you somehow? Was he too good to talk to someone like you?

One day you got tired of the doubts, of wondering if you had done something wrong or if Bucky was just a self-absorbed asshole, so you expressed your concerns to Steve. "What's the deal with your friend?" you asked him as you poured the drinks he had gone to the bar to order. "Why does he always look down when I'm around? I mean, he barely speaks to me. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no, no," Steve was quick to say, resting his hand on yours in a comforting gesture. "He's just... a bit difficult sometimes."

"Difficult as in an arrogant asshole who thinks he's better than everyone or-?" you started to say, but Steve interrupted you before you could finish. 

"No, he's a great guy. He's just been through a lot."

"Oh," you mumbled, not knowing what else to say. "Is that why he never talks to me?"

"Yeah, just give him some more time, I'm sure he'll come around." 

Steve returned to his table with the drinks, leaving you alone behind the bar, processing his words. Neither of you noticed that Bucky was only a couple of feet away from you as you spoke. Maybe if he was a normal person he wouldn't have been able to hear your conversation, after all he was a bit far away and the music coming out of the speakers was a bit louder than usual. But he was not a normal person and that was his problem. 

His enhanced sense of listening because of the serum running through his veins allowed him to hear your conversation with Steve and I'd be lying if I said that listening to you say those things didn't make his heart clench in his chest. He supposed you were right, he hadn't been very nice to you all this time, but that wasn't because he didn't like you. On the contrary, he liked you too much and that scared him. He couldn't explain very well what he felt, but if there was one thing he was sure of, it was that he felt things for you, things he hadn't felt in a long time. It was a strange attraction that called him to you, a force that made it impossible for his eyes to leave you.

He looked forward to the end of missions like no one else, not because he disliked working, but because it meant he could see you. You were his motivation. He longed more than anything to walk through the big doors of the bar and see your smile, he missed it every night he didn't see you. But for some reason he couldn't do anything but duck his head every time you came near him. He didn't understand what was wrong with him and honestly it was driving him a little crazy.

“You like her, Buck,” Steve told him after listening to him explain his situation. His friend had approached him the next morning to talk about you and your concerns. Steve knew there was something between you, a special spark, and he didn't want Bucky to miss his chance because he was afraid to act on what he felt. "You should let her know before it's too late. She kinda thinks you're an asshole."

Bucky knew his friend was right, but how could he? He had nothing to offer you. He was a broken man with a past as dark as the blood stains that covered his hands. He wasn't ready to be in a relationship. Sometimes he thought he never would be. The guy capable of loving and being loved had died the day he was captured in the war so many years ago, he just hadn't realized it yet.

"You have to stop blaming yourself for it," Steve said as he read the doubt in his friend's eyes. "You have to move on. You deserve to have a life, the life that was taken away from you, and I think this is how you can get it back," he added, sliding him a piece of paper with a number and your name scribbled on it in black ink. 

Bucky stared at the piece of paper for quite a while, debating whether or not to follow Steve's advice. The more logical part of him, the part that had been to countless therapy sessions, told him that his friend was right. He had been controlled and manipulated by Hydra to do those horrible things. They were the ones who had turned him into a weapon, a killer. He had been trapped in his mind for over 70 years and now that he was finally free it was his turn to decide the course of his life. And he knew Steve —and his therapist— was right, he deserved a fresh start, he deserved to get his life back on track and find happiness. 

But guilt... oh guilt paralyzed him. He had spent all this time training his mind to control that voice inside him, but sometimes it still resurfaced. And every time it did it reminded him what a piece of shit he was. He didn't deserve a happy ending, the people he had hurt did and he had taken that away from them. It was an insult to their memory to go on with his life as if his hands weren't covered in blood. And it was naive of him to think that anyone could ever love a murderer like him.

It was a constant struggle in his mind, the two sides of him fighting to win. He liked to believe that most of the time positivity came out on top, but he wasn't so sure about that. He'd had some pretty dark days lately. 

Looking at the piece of paper one more time, Bucky decided that he had let fear and guilt paralyze him long enough. Part of getting better and making amends involved facing his fears, overcoming his insecurities and starting over. So he pulled his phone out of his pocket and saved your number, typing a quick message to send before he could get cold feet. 

You were enjoying your day off when your phone vibrated on the coffee table. You stretched your arm from the couch to grab it without having to get up, not even bothering to pause the movie you were watching to check the notification. You were sure it was nothing important, but you were pleasantly surprised when you read the message from the unknown number, smiling at the screen like a schoolgirl.

I wanted to tell you that I’m not arrogant, I’m shy. But if you want we can go for a cup of coffee sometime.

[writingforstraykids]

My beloved cutie mooties🥺🖤

(edited 12.05.24)

🖤@atinyniki🖤

Niki, my beautiful sunshine, I'm so grateful to have you through thick and thin. I'm still convinced you're cute and idc whether you accept that or not. I love talking to you and you're one of the kindest people I know (unless you yell at me you meanie...joking obviously, chill guys😂🖤) I'll always be there for you...also pls stop spending so much money on me cutie😭 Keep shining sunny bunny...love you, pretty girl🖤

🖤@zehina🖤

my beloved (not so silent anymore) bestie, i love our shared European confusion and confusing the others together in return. you're such a cute little kitty and we all know u love being called cute so...you're very cute, deal with it🤭I love our shared stupidity whenever we talk about the boys and seriously, every time you send me your part for the rambles I'd drop to my knees and pay for it bc holy shit. I'll always be there if you need me, keep fighting lovey. love you unnie🖤

🖤@galaxycatdrawz🖤

azzy, I'm so proud of slowly pulling you a little from the shadows you were hiding in😂 also...idk how I managed to do so, but I'm still laughing about achieving most of your tumblr milestones😭 i love sharing requests with you, working out ideas or simply do as you said and write what my brain couldn't figure out. thank you for always being there for me and sharing your brilliant brain with me, co-writer🤭 also it's such a bummer we live so far away bc after what we talked about so far I know you'd be the best cuddle buddy🥺 love you azzy my cutest little thing🖤

🖤@jinnie-ret 🖤

jinnie my dear, even though we haven't talked that much so far, I always love it when we get the chance🤭 can't wait to get to know you better as well and I'm already so excited for that fic👀looveeee your writing sm🖤

🖤@sona1800🖤

you're my newest mootie and I love you so much already it's ridiculous (niki can confirm that🥹) you're always so sweet and you literally outshine every fic with your loving reblogs and comments (I'm just too speechless to answer properly, I really love them🥺) so yeah, that's why you got the tag "the cutest" 🤭🖤

🖤@silverstarburst🖤

Ash. my dear, we don't have that much time to talk usually because you're either working or I'm asleep (a rarity but still). Nevertheless, you have a special place in my heart by now and I'm thankful for your presence in my life. I know who to text if I need someone to kick ass. Your reblogs make me smile like some idiot every time, thank you so much for appreciating my lil dummy ideas so much. love you mama wolf🖤

🖤@slutforchanlix🖤

Miu, babyy, I've made you cry way too often with stuff like this—my bad. I know it's not always easy, but you're one of the kindest people I know, and I love that I have someone with whom I can talk in my native language for once. You're a sweetheart and thank you for always being there for me. I still plan to meet you one day hehe. Long story short, you're amazing, don't let anyone else try to make you believe anything less than that. Bin immer für dich da🖤

🖤@michelle4eve🖤

heyy mimi, we haven't talked much so far...sometimes accidentally when you mistook my icon for niki's I hope that's easier now😂😉 you seem like such a kind soul and I hope we'll get closer over time (no rush dear!) I'm happy over each of your reblogs, especially after you told us you're too shy to do so sometimes. I really appreciate it, you cutie🖤

🖤@chrizzztopherbang🖤

I always loved seeing you pop up in my notifications with your sweet comments. I already think you're a sweetheart, I know we haven't talked that much yet. Still, I loved prereading your fics and getting a glimpse into your genius brain. Don't give up writing as long as you have fun with it, because you're truly amazing at it🖤

🖤@wolfyychan🖤

You've been around on my prior blog already and still my stupid brain didn't realize you've changed usernames for so long😭😂 I always look forward to your excited comments and reblogs, they're truly a boost of motiviation ngl. Hope to have you around for a long time🤭🖤

🖤@james-is-here🖤

Your excitement for that Minchan series made me think about writing bonus chapters for the first time in months. I really love seeing how you get so invested in some of the stories, which makes me want to do better hehe. Also...omg...I'm still thinking about that one fic you wrote a while ago🫠 I'm excited to see what's next and hope we'll get the chance to maybe talk some more🖤

🖤@queer-possum🖤

Without giving away too much, your brain is amazing. I love your requests so much and you're always so kind when I get back to you to make sure I get everything right. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write about certain topics and stuff I haven't so far🖤

🖤@chanandminhoenthusiast🖤

love, love, loveee your blog (for obvious inspirational reasons😉) you seemed like a very sweet soul whenever we talked before and I'll always be there if you need someone to talk, even about the most random bullshit😂🖤

🖤@palindrome969🖤

You're such a lovely person, I can't even put it into words properly. Your writing is beautiful and I'm still in love with that stargazing fic with Channie😭 always love talking to you and seeing your comments🖤

🖤@5starluvr🖤

I've told you so before, I wanna kiss your brain so bad sometimes. The stuff you come up with for me to write is brilliant. I can't wait to finish more of your requests and share ideas as soon as possible! Love you hehe🖤

🖤@mellhwang🖤

Heyy sweetie, I love seeing you in my notes and I swear I'll get that Minchan x Hyunjin thing done for you!! Thank you for all the love, dear🖤

🖤@lost-in-avoidance🖤

The amount of times I made you choke back tears at work is...concerning and I'm so sorry, I don't do it on purpose, I swear😭😂 your reblogs are always so genuine and make me feel like I did exactly what I wanted to with the fic in question. I appreciate your words so much, thank you!

[gotstabbedbyapen]

Hiya if it’s not too much I was like wondering if you had any HCs of Hermes and Dionysus being protective of their older siblings? Cause I see a lot of them being the younger siblings but I feel like they would be equally protective of their older siblings!!

Sorry for the delay, Anon. I was busy with stuff 😅 Now have some Hermes and Dionysus bonding/protective HCs with their siblings!

I like to think Hermes and Persephone bonded over being the middle child of their respective group (the bro trio and the sis trio) and their connection to agriculture (husbandry and harvest)

After a harvest, they will herd Hermes' cattle together, letting them graze the remaining crop. Hermes would play the lyre or the flute and they would come up with stupid songs and purposefully sing them off-note to piss off Apollo. Their country bros vibe is immaculate.

Hermes isn't the best at reading room and knowing when it's appropriate to joke around, basically the type of guy to burst out laughing at the wrong timing. But when things get real serious, he can be serious too.

When Hermes came down to escort Persephone out of the Underworld after her abduction, at first he was like, "C'mon, girl! Vacation's over, time to go home!" But then he saw how deeply traumatized Persephone was and was like, "Oh... shit! I didn't mean to--"

Hermes was kinda freaked out and didn't know how to comfort Persephone all the way out. She was visibly shaking and refused to let him or anyone come near. Hermes had to constantly tell her that she would see her mother soon and that she was safe now. It did not help much.

After Persephone returned home and shut herself from others, Hermes was worried sick. He would hover around her temple looking for her but to no avail. Aside from what little Demeter was willing to share, Hermes couldn't tell how Persephone was really doing.

When Persephone finally recovered and opened up again, Hermes immediately came to her place with "Get well soon" gifts to cheer her up (foreign fruits, exotic flowers)

It was also the few times Hermes knew it would not be right if he cracked up jokes and just... quietly stayed by Persephone's side as she healed, helping her with all he could. Persephone was forever grateful to him.

As Persephone spent half a year in the Underworld, Hermes helped her deliver letters to her friends and family in the Mortal Realm, and then he would stay a little longer to gossip with her about the other gods' drama.

He just wanna make sure Persephone was doing well in her new home.

Both Hermes and Dionysus admired Apollo very much, their best enormous sibling big brother. Apollo also loved his bros but he had to put them on a leash.

Hermes and Dionysus helped Apollo raise his kids (they make a family watch when the kids are small). Being a single father wasn't easy even for a god, so having two fun uncles helping him made it much better.

Dionysus was deeply thankful to his older siblings for helping him repeatedly before his descent to godhood. He wanted to repay them but didn't have many chances because everyone always saw him as a baby.

The most he could do was handing his siblings a bottle and listening to them rambling about their bad days. Dionysus might not understand everything or know what to do, but he would do his best to be there for everyone.

When Hephaestus locked himself away in his forge after his divorce with Aphrodite and humiliation from other gods, Dionysus came by to his place everyday to check on his brother. He wasn't welcomed at first, but Dionysus was super stubborn.

"I'm not leaving until you talk to me!" - "It's none of your business!" - "But I'm worried about you!"

Was Dionysus pestering Hephaestus a good thing? No. Did he try with everything he can? Definitely.

Eventually Hephaestus tolerated him in his forge and didn't try to kick him out again. And so Dionysus started hanging around Hephaestus as he worked on new inventions.

"A madman has the worst and best ideas to give" - Hephaestus learned that pretty soon after many days talking to Dionysus. Many of Hephaestus' wild inventions were suggested by his lil brother.

Dionysus tolerates no slandering of his siblings. Especially slandering of Hephaestus.

If you talk shit about Apollo wearing a dress, you got some explaining to do with his pissed off drag queen brother.

If the followers of his siblings ever get into trouble (Artemis' hunters or Ares' Amazon warriors), Dionysus would send his Maenad followers to help them.

[callmeyoursblog]

extra angst :)

uhhhh just random stuff cuz im procrastinating on my biology lab so don't mind my little rambles and possible errors

warnings: death, grief

-captain reader, grief after simon's death, revenge and closure <3

-

he died in your arms. on the field. gunshot wound to the head. his brain matter and blood spilling onto your pants and over your hands as you patched him up, screaming his name. all you remember next is shooting. shooting anyone and everyone that wore a uniform that you didn’t recognize. at least 10 people dead. none of their deaths amounting to the pain that simon’s caused. you’d never had a more accurate hand in your life. it was a habit that began that second. something switched. you weren’t protecting. you were out for revenge. the silence after your 10 consecutive gunshots was different than any other silence you’d experienced. you sat next to ghost’s body. knowing you’d never be the same. unable to find the tears in your body to even attempt to cry.

your hands desperately grabbed at the sheets to find simon’s body. tangled in his hoodie and your sheets from the nightmare you just had.

the one where he died.

the nightmare that was really a flashback.

and as you woke up in a panic, a knock fell upon your door. someone yelling your name. your mind so clouded that - maybe - in a universe much less cruel, simon would be standing outside of it with open arms. you ran towards the door, pulling it open. you didn’t even look at who it was. you knew it was soap. knew there was no chance of it ever being ghost. no matter how much you pretended. you opened the door to see the familiar scot standing outside your door in his tshirt and sweatpants.

"you need to get sleep, love." he'd remind you. a reminder you didn't need. a reminder that you could take a near-harmful dosage of sleeping medications and still get ten minutes of sleep, just reliving the worst moment of your life.

"this happens every night." he'd remind you. a reminder you didn't need. his voice almost grated against your eardrums, hearing him scold you the same way every night. it was a never-ending, vicious cycle. awake for what seemed like weeks on end.

you shut the door after soap forced his way in. pulling you onto your bed to try and hold you and make you get some sleep. truly, he wanted to help you. but he was damn tired of getting woken up by his grieving captain.

the next morning, unsure if you'd slept or just spaced out by staring at the wall, soap stood up from your bed and walked out of your room. you put your clothes on for your run. the habit you'd picked up after simon convinced you to run with him.

price caught you as you walked out of your room. hood up, headphones in, laser focus on getting to your running path.

"we need to talk."

your heart dropped. you were getting put on leave, surely. or getting a psych eval, that you could definitely cheat on, but certainly still fail. he pulled you into his office and shut the door.

"considering that you have worked the hours equivalent to your hours of bereavement for a spouse... i am not requiring you to leave. you have time off, you can take it. clean up your place. clean up his." he paused, seeing tears in your eyes. "i know you're strong. my best asset. i know that this is getting to you pretty badly-"

"i'm getting better."

"y/n, soap comes to your room at the same time every night to try and get you to sleep. you haven't been sleeping. i'm giving you a week." your face dropped. "get better sleep. finish those reports on your desk. we're going back in one week. me and you. i have a way to get into shepherd's office. and i have this." he told you, setting a gun with a silencer attached on his desk. you let out a small smile.

"you trust me to kill shepherd?"

"more than anyone else." he smiled at you. that comforting smile gave you every ounce of confidence that you needed.

-

you trained every day. to be prepared for the moment you got your revenge. every day for a week straight. running, shooting, and spending almost every hour in the gym. you got marginally better sleep. still awake much of the time, yet still waking up from your nightmares. soap still came into your room to help you sleep, but you were finally able to fall asleep in his arms most nights. price could see you were more energized. ready. working better. he was proud of you, and expressed that as you stood outside of the government building.

"you're just going to go in there, tell them kate laswell sent you. they'll know the name. don't say your name. don't say anything else. kate laswell sent you. his office is the top floor. long ass hallway and to the right. no security besides a key pad on the door. the code is 6163. his birth year and his wife's. i'm proud of you, kid. i'll be here when you leave." he patted your back. you smiled at him and strutted into the building with confidence you'd never had before.

"kate laswell sent me." you told the man at the desk. his face fell as he rushed you to the elevator. you pressed the button for the top floor. the ride up felt like the longest elevator ride of your life. overwhelming anxiety and nausea taking over your stomach until the doors opened, and regaining your confidence. the long hallway lead you to a door, exactly how price had described. you typed in the key code. having a seat in the corner of his office until he entered. mere minutes until his entry.

you sat. and you waited.

he came in, slowly walking into the office to look out the window. he took a breath, sitting in his desk chair and turning on the small desk lamp. enough light to illuminate your figure.

"general."

"captain."

"it must be nice. being able to use your wife's birthday as your keycode, yeah? must be nice not having a dead spouse."

"i didn't kill simon riley."

"it was your orders. so yes, sir, you did kill him."

"you've got a body count of your own. it'll come back to haunt you." he warned you. you let out a dry laugh.

"i hope to god it haunts you." you raised the gun at his head.

"i'm not going to beg for my life. not from you, or anybody else, y/n."

"not gonna do you any damn good." you pulled the trigger, your shot not hitting where you expected. the burning pain through your abdomen giving you a possible explanation. you were left gasping for air on the ground quicker than you could comprehend. shepherd stood over you. the shot in his shoulder not nearly fatal. he kicked price's gun from your hand. not expecting you to reach into your jacket and pull out your own gun as he looked away. a shot landing directly in his neck. he died quicker than you.

it was a blur. people rushing in and out of the room. your vision fading in and out. you wondered if simon saw anything as he died or if the bullet killed him instantly. wondered if he thought about you. wondered if he regretted not giving you the ring you found in his barracks. the warmth that washed over your body was reminiscent of simon, when he would lay on top of you. smiling as you bled out on the floor.

i'm coming home, my love.

a/n i might make a follow up of the boys after your death bc i meant to write about prices reaction outside of the building but i forgot it’s too late for this 😓

[bluegekk0]

I feel like I don't say this enough but I'm so grateful for all the asks and comments y'all send me. Knowing that people out there care and want to hear about my AU is very comforting. It's not a secret that I struggle with self-esteem, so that thought helps, even if my vent posts may give a different idea. And having a chance to ramble about the characters I love so dearly really helps whenever I need a distraction from negative thoughts.

So thank you so much, it really means a lot.

[loveydovey-leviathan]

reposted from my personal blog @mee-op

meeting again, mistletoe and some other stuff

neige x gn!reader

.

you have to wonder how in the world ambrose the 63rd managed to convince dire crowley of all people to agree to a joint christmas party between rsa and nrc. ambrose must've provoked crowley in some way. it's the only explanation you can think of.

and now, after several hours of everyone "trying" to get along with one another, you're stuck wandering through the deserted halls of rsa— lost because you were too nervous to ask anyone where the restroom was.

as you quietly marvel at the interior of the castle-like school and how ethereal it looks reflecting the night sky, you hear a pair of footsteps walking towards you.

your first instinct is to hide. you've been alone in the walls of nrc before and it has never ended well— whether it be ghosts, a group of students wanting to gang up on the only person with no magical ability or something else.

but before you could search for somewhere to lay low until said person disappears, their gentle voice calls out to you.

''umm... hello?''

....you'd recognise that voice anywhere, especially after what happened at vdc. so you turn around and sure enough, it's the one and only neige leblanche.

you figure it'd be way too awkward to just- walk away after he saw you, so you take several steps forward and close the distance.

''err- hey...?'' you say, nervously scratching the back of your head.

luckily, the person in front of you seems better at social interaction than you are and gives you a soft smile, ''are you lost? the main hall is a bit far from here.''

''yeah, actually..'' you chuckle, slightly embarrassed. ''i was looking for the restroom.''

''oh! well, i can walk you there if you want,'' he says, hands behind his back as he looks up at you with the warmest brown eyes you've ever seen.

''thanks. that'd be really helpful,'' you're grateful that it was neige who found you and not someone from your school. you've grown a pretty tough skin since coming to twisted wonderland but you don't think you can handle any sarcastic comments tonight.

he gives you another one of his charming grins—one that you're sure some of his fans would go crazy for— and starts leading the way.

''soo... what were you doing before you saw me?'' you ask in a desperate attempt to start small talk.

''i just wanted to get some fresh air. your name's yuu, right? you were vil's manager during vdc,''.

''yep,'' kind of surprised he remembers.

''you know, i was really shocked when headmage ambrose announced that we would be having a joint christmas party with night raven college. i don't think our schools have gotten together other than to compete,''

...the rest of the walk is filled with neige's voice. you don't particularly mind. it's not like you have anything interesting to say anyway.

before you know it, you're in front of the restroom... which was only a couple ways down from the main hall. before you could give your thanks, you're interrupted.

''i'm sorry! this whole time i've been rambling and i didn't give you a chance to talk!'' a look of disappointment washes over his face and eyes drooping in sadness. he looked like a kicked puppy— it's no wonder he's so popular.

''it's fine, really. i don't mind— i'm pretty used to it,'' you say in hopes of cheering him up a little.

you don't think you made much of a difference, but he smiles anyway.

''well.. you're really easy to talk to,'' you can tell he's still giving himself some sort of scolding and you try to look for a way to take his mind off of it. it's not like you aren't used to not getting your word in. besides, he's one of the nicer ones.

''look, mistletoe,'' you say before you think of the repercussions.

''o-oh! erm...'' all traces of disappointment is completely gone, instead replaced with flushed cheeks and a look of shock and embarrassment. ''would you like to...?''

''we don't have to if you're uncomfortable,'' you silently chastise yourself in your head. you could've talked about anything and you chose mistletoe?? at least he doesn't look like he's wallowing in his own self-hate anymore.

there're a few seconds of awkward silence— neige looking embarrassed (and very cute, you think) as you wonder what you should do.

then suddenly, the bashful look turns into one of determination (with cheeks still red) and before anything else could register in your shrimp brain— you feel neige's soft lips on your cheek.

you stand there looking dumbfounded as neige quickly retreats.

''umm.. ihavetogonow, ihopeyouhaveanicenightgoodbye!''

...............................

it's only been a week or so since the party, but neige feels like it's been months. ever since he kissed you under the mistletoe, you haven't left his mind.

and great seven, it's so incredibly cliche— you meet a stranger at a party, you talk like you've known each other for years (though it wasn't much of a conversation) and then the two of you share a kiss under the mistletoe. sparks are flying, the stars are twinkling ever so brightly just for you and him and everything feels just right.

and he's always loved cliche. he's always loved cheesy and romantic, the type that would make some gag and others swoon.

and you must've felt it too, right? like every choice led up to you meeting him? like both of you were puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly.

but he was so stupid. he ran away before even knowing your name or asking you out.

but it doesn't matter. he did a bit of digging texting vil and found out you were the prefect of ramshackle dorm! so now he's on your doorstep with the loveliest flowers he could find and some chocolate (he prays you aren't allergic).

he takes a deep breath to calm his nerves, rings the doorbell and patiently waits for you to answer. even though he prepared for this, he can't help but be nervous. and it only worsens when he sees you again.

...he really hopes you know how pretty you are. just the sight of you makes his heart skip a beat.

''neige?'' his thoughts are interrupted and he has to scramble to think of what to say.

''h-hi, yuu! how are you?''

''i'm doing good, is... everything alright?''

''everything's great!'' he gulps before he continues— fear welling up inside him. he has to do this now before he even thinks about backing out.

''well, i actually wanted to ask you something...'' holding the bouquet tighter than necessary, he asks. ''would you.. like to go on a date? with me?''

[slayter-kinney]

i've been trying to formulate how i feel about wad and this era of phandom since i finally got the chance to watch wad all the way through with my girlfriend last night and after sobbing violently following the smash mouth credits i think i have some semblance of a train of thought. long ramble incoming after the read more hehe

for context, i've been watching dnp for about 10 years, which for some of you is an extremely long time and for others is piddly. regardless, a decade of my life has been spent in varying amounts watching dan and phil and interacting with the phandom. and part of what i was trying to express to my gf after watching the show was that it really is a sense of pride to see the sad clown poster child for being, well, sad, to open up about his mental health struggles, to coming out, to making we're all doomed. i think this is a very similar reaction to the pride a lot of us feel for dan.

for me too, though, it's been the phandom (hi guys lol). I was really active in the phandom from like 2014ish-2017 (at which point i still watched videos as they were posted but i also just wasn't on tumblr as much and i had ~college~ to focus on), but that time was very formative teenage years for me during which i was going through similar mental health struggles, struggling with sexuality, regular ol' teenage demons, etc. and this sort of phandom revival has been making me feel this ridiculous nostalgia for those teenage years (even tho i was fighting for my life the whole time lol). i can sooo distinctly remember where i was when certain videos were uploaded, the feeling of being curled up in my bed at midnight in the summer with my iphone 5c catching up on the previous years' videos, making subpar edits on my phannie instagram while i was on a plane for my family's summer vacation.

having both the boys and the phandom (more) active again gives me that nostalgic feeling but with the feeling that everything feels So Much Better Now. i get the same excitement and rush watching new videos, sharing around edits and gifs, being insane with you all, but with the knowledge that i am older and i am better now. in a lot of personal ways i'm literally living the life i so desperately wanted when i was a teen and now i get to live it but with the same things that brought me joy when i was a sad 15 year old. despite the nostalgia, i dont think i would choose to go back to that time, but getting to look back on it now, and watch videos where dan and phil are unapologetically gay and happy and soulmate-y, see dan living his theatre kid dreams and is so so proud of his work, and to have this community of you all where we're all old(er) and queer and so proud of our dads (sorry). it's indescribable despite my best efforts to describe it. and yes i know i don't actually talk to a lot of you that's cause im awkward and bad at replying but if you've made it this far this is your open invite to start a convo with me in dms/ask box. anyways. i love you all. i love our boys. im grateful to be here with all of you.

[hayatheauthor]

Update Regarding My Sudden Hiatus + Author/Publishing News

Guess who's back from the dead!

Jokes aside, I truly do feel terrible for going on hiatus without saying anything, and then I come back and see that I've hit 2k (which btw is absolutely amazing and left me shell-shocked) and that just made me feel worse for leaving unannounced. So, here's everything that's been going on:

(click read more if you want to learn about my experience at my first writer's workshop & pitching to an agent ++ publishing updates for The Traitor's Throne)

If you DON'T want to read more: long story short I'm back and will revamp this blog Monday onwards.

Would you look at that I'm finally getting the hang of Tumblr etiquette!

Anyways, I know if I took the liberty of casually explaining everything we would just be here all day and I would ramble endlessly SO, I'm going to summarise everything into a list:

One of the biggest reasons for my departure was because *insert drum roll* I graduated! That's right, your girl is officially a diploma holder and ready to conquer college! Although I've seen the 'finals week or my final week' meme enough times to start questioning what I signed up for.

My writing life has been a little...disappointing. There's no other way to break it to you folks, but when I started this blog, I was knee-deep in the query trenches, and now, I'm still there. Does that suck? Yes. Am I going to give up? Absolutely not! BUT I do have some changes planned:

I've officially decided if this final shot at traditional publishing doesn't do well, I'm going to give in and self-publish The Traitor's Throne in May-June 2024. Which means you might potentially be able to purchase my baby pretty soon!

BUT I decided to give querying one last shot and actually joined a writer's workshop (which is going on as we speak btw). I joined the online Boston Writing Workshop, I'll drop a review on that on Sunday, but so far I've actually learned A LOT from it, and have decided to give querying another go while implementing what I've learned. Dw I'll also be putting out a review about the workshop on Sunday.

So, here's a summary: I've created a self-publishing deadline for my current project while also giving traditional publishing a final shot. I also joined my first ever writer's workshop this weekend and will be pitching to agents for the first time.

Overall, I think my lack of success in the querying scene kind of made me feel like a fraud when giving writing advice. I'm the type of author who does A LOT of research when I write, which is why I have so many tips on so many topics, but that doesn't make me an expert.

This workshop especially made me realise I've been making some rookie mistakes and focused so much on my story that I forgot the query and synopsis are just as important. Maybe this realisation came too late and I've lost my chance of traditionally publishing The Traitor's Throne, but I am grateful for everything it's taught me.

ANYWAYS—see what I meant by we'd be here the whole day if I didn't use a list??

Let's get back to the important stuff; yes, I will start putting out blogs again, and answering my asks. I'm also thinking of launching a beta reader project where I'll beta read some of your works for free! Stay tuned to see that announcement since it'll come soon.

Thank you so much for supporting this silly little blog of mine, and I hope you have a good weekend! As always, I'll see you on Monday! 💕✨

[yujeong]

It isn't always easy to recognize how much you're loved, not until something happens to remind you of it. Not until the people that love you take the chance to show you in the most beautiful way possible. Today is my birthday. Some of my friends decided to write fics for me because of it. I want to repay them by sharing their work with you, so that you can check them out for yourselves and see their immense talent first hand.

Starting with this amazing fic by @mightymightygnomepriest, who decided to quench my thirst for VegasPete somno in the hottest way possible. I loved every line written in this, Vegas' POV was spectacularly explored and it includes VP's codependent issues superbly, which is one of the main reasons VP fans love them so much in the first place. If you want something hot and with VP's characterization on point, check it out.

This lovely Gen fic written by @tsttoain made me so happy, I can't even explain it properly. Pete's grandma and Macau are both beloved characters by the fandom, and this little fic gave me so much I didn't know I wanted but desperately needed. It was sweet and sad and perfect, and I can't believe I was gifted something so wonderful. I'm sure you'll love it too if you decide to give it a chance.

Last, but certainly not least, this phenomenal Porsche(&)Pete fic written by my amazing friend @wretchedamaranth managed to bring so many emotions out of me. It rendered me breathless and teary-eyed. They captured the relationship between Porsche and Pete, this secret third thing we're both huge fans of, so fucking well that all I can do is stare in awe over their talent. This is their first fic in general, first kpts fic in particular, so please show them your love in the form of kudos and comments. I'm so proud of them for venturing into the realms of writing. They deserve all the praise. Thank you so much everyone ❤️ I love you all and I wish I could express how grateful I am for your existence in my life better. Unfortunately, these sort of rambling thoughts will have to suffice for now haha.

[asliceoftoast]

while i'm back home and no longer in seattle, the writing streak continues!

__

April and Arizona rounded the corner of the hospital wing. Brushing a wavy bang out of her face and tucking the strand of hair behind her ear, April looked at her friend. She leaned in slightly, eyes scanning the room for familiar faces before telling Arizona what she had witnessed an hour earlier in a soft whisper against the blonde’s ear.

“What!” Arizona whisper-screamed. “I can’t believe that.” They stopped at the counter of the pit’s desk, and April leaned over to put back her tablet. 

“I know! They look like such a picture-perfect couple, but imagine my surprise when I walk into an on-call room and he’s getting another nurse out of her scrubs while his wife is in the middle of surgery.”

“Ugh, I can’t imagine.” The pediatric surgeon shuddered, feet tapping the floor as she moved. “Gosh, do you think she knows?”

“Uh-” April sighed as a depressed sound fell out of her mouth. “Well, I think she’ll find out soon because apparently I’m not the only person who walked in on them today.” Blue eyes widened in shock as Arizona absorbed the information. “You would think they would lock the door after the first time.” 

April’s brows screwed together, disgust rising in her chest. It was at times like this that she was immensely grateful for her husband and remembered just how lucky she was to have him.

“Honestly, she’s too good for him,” Arizona added. “I hope she knows that. She’s a badass surgeon and she’s such a sweetheart. I can’t believe that he did that.”

“I can’t imagine what’s going to happen to their marriage now. They have two young kids to think of too. God, why would he do that?!”

“Men,” Arizona muttered. The two shared a moment of silence, sitting on the drama that was swirling around the hospital that day. “Quick question.” April hummed, tapping on her phone to respond to her husband’s latest text as Arizona tilted her shoulders to face her. “What would you do if Jackson ever cheated?”

April snorted, knowing full well that he never would. For her, cheating was a non-negotiable. She had no second chances to give when it came to that. “If he ever does that, I’m going to divorce him.”

Arizona peered over the redhead’s shoulders, watching the plastic surgeon slowly sway as he walked. His blue eyes were missing their normal Avery sparkle as the color drained from his face.

“D-d-divorce,” he mumbled under his breath.

April spun around, a bright smile illuminating her face as she saw him. “Hi, baby.”

“What did you just say?”

“Hi, baby?” Her voice skewed upwards, repeating her greeting.

“No, before that. Is it because I didn’t use the key hook last night?” April’s head tilted, confusion clouding her warm reception. “Or is it because I don’t like leftovers?”

“Jackson, what are you talking about? You know that doesn’t bother me anymore.”

Jackson talked to himself, voice low and confused. He continued to ramble while April and Arizona stared on. 

“Babe, are you okay? You’ve been acting a little weird since you came.”

Arizona tapped April’s arm, drawing the trauma surgeon’s attention. “Hi,” she smiled, quickly dropping the corner of her lips as she spoke again. “Can I jump in for a sec?” April nodded along, and Arizona whispered into her ear. “I think all he got from our conversation was ‘I’m going to divorce him.’”

April’s eyes widened, snapping back to her husband who stood dejected a few feet away. “Divorce?” She grabbed onto his wrist, and his eyes turned to her. “Why would I want to divorce you when it was so hard to marry you?”

He swallowed, looking back and forth between his wife and her best friend. “I heard you say it though.”

April sighed, stepping in to wrap her arms around him. “Arizona asked what I would do if you ever cheated on me.” 

It was like the thought of even being associated with the action was repulsive, the flit of anger passing through his body before he quickly assured April that he would never do that. He paused, one eyebrow arching as it dawned on him. 

“Is this about you walking in on someone today in the oncall room?”

“You know about that already?”

“Half the hospital knows by now. I believe the nurses said you turned bright red and told them to lock the door after scolding him for cheating.” Jackson snaked his arms around his wife’s waist, assured that he was not getting divorced any time soon.

She sent him a dejected smile, “I don’t think they listened to me though.”

[positivelyadhd]

I know I've been very inconsistent with this blog and I miss it dearly but I have a little positive update I thought I would post mostly to remind myself that things can change and do get better!!

I will leave details and little rant about my frustrations with mental health systems in the UK under the cut but this is mostly to remind you all that there is always people that can and want to help you. it's infuriating how difficult it can be to find those people, but I promise they are there. you deserve to give yourself the chance to find them.

I have been down a long frustrating road of not being able to get mental health support for years (mostly due to lack of funding ect for public services which is a much bigger issue nationally and I am endlessly angry about it and would love to Do Something and maybe when I'm doing better mentally I can do more activism or something!)

it's the same thing I hear a lot of people say on here and elsewhere but I felt like no one was really listening to me or understanding and that i couldn't talk to the people that would? I felt really lost and knew I needed help but when I asked the people I thought would be able to help (doctors, schools, uni ect) they told me they couldn't do anything. (more on that later)

but, after a lot of looking I have finally found some people that are really helping!! for the first time in a while I'm feeling so much better <33

I found a local charity that helped me figure out where to go when doctors have not been able to help and a therapist that specialises in EMDR (which has been so helpful, I was skeptical at first but it's so done so much in just a few sessions <33)

I've also now got an appointment with a psychiatrist with experience with ADHD so I can hopefully get a mental health assessment since I haven't had one in years! I know the non ADHD medication I'm currently taking isn't working for me and it hasn't for a few years but I couldn't find anyone that was able to talk to me about it and now I feel like I (hopefully) have!

I don't want to discourage anyone that may be reading this from looking for support or asking for help. The point of this little ramble is that it's always worth it. But unfortunately it is quite often a lot more difficult than it should be.

I cannot find words to really express how fucked up and angry that makes me and it can be so difficult to find them, but I promise that for everyone that is shitty, there is people that are trying their hardest and want to hear you and help you. that it's always worth holding on until you find them.

I also want to remind you that you have every right to feel angry and sad and helpless about it, that part of recovery is allowing yourself to feel all of the "ugly" emotions that come with having experienced the things you experienced. that there is no such thing as good or bad emotions and that just allowing yourself to feel how you feel and process it can do so much in recovery.

but I'm also so so grateful for this community and seeing where the world is going with neurodivergent awareness and activism now is giving me so much hope!

if you are reading this and you've had the experience I've had, where the systems that should've been able to support you weren't able to, for whatever reason. I want you to know that it's not your fault. that you deserve a loving caring support system around you and that there is one waiting for you. I am so sorry you have had to experience this, but as frustrating as it can be to hear you're also not alone in it. things can get better, and they are changing. and I know how hard it is to believe when everything else around you seems to tell you otherwise, but I hope you can give yourself the chance to find out.