Okay, I definitely have misophonia.
So my brother is stay with us for a bit and he snores SO F U C K I N G loud it drives me insane. I just wanna take a cord and strangle him…
I hate it when people snore (I know they can’t help it). It makes it hard to relax and go to sleep. I need peace and quiet dammit.
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I sat here scrolling Tumblr and then I heard my dad snoring on the other side of the wall.
And I've been making it a habit to consciously pay attention to the people I love, because I love them.
And so - I wasn't trying but this just came to me because of observations, and knowing, and perhaps the habit of it - I thought oh, that means he's sleeping.
Its the middle of the day. He does this sometimes. He's a very busy person, between two jobs, and 2-4 disabled kids. He takes power naps after lunch. He has a whole strategy. He's told it to me and I listened and I remembered because I love him.
He's also in burnout. My dad is burnt out and I understand because I am also burnt out. I wish I could help him but I am burnt out, and so all I can do is know him, is listen to him snoring and know that he is tired.
I get to listen to him snoring. He is tired. He is sleeping on the middle of the day because he is tired, from taking care of me, who am autistic, and my brother, with Prader-Willi Syndrome (shoutout to ppl with PWS), and his job 1 to pay the bills and job 2 to pay for the future and his wife and his other children and making sure we all get our enrichment.
And so he is snoring on the other side of the wall, and I can picture him tangled up in his blankets and sleeping because he is tired.
And so I get to listen to him snoring and think about all the things he does and how much he deserves rest, and how glad I am that he CAN rest, that he's worried and busy and anxious, but not too worried to sleep. Because he needs to sleep. And it's a blessing that he can do that.
And I'll sit here and appreciate him and all he does because I can hear him snoring (and it keeps everyone else up at night unless he uses his mouth guard, which we all call his snore-teeth, and I know this because I listen and I pay attention and I love him).
And he might never know that I sit here and think of him and love him and all he does, how grateful I am that he takes care of me when I'm his oldest and I'm autistic, and I don't feel overwhelmingly bad about that but I do wish I could help more than I do. Not be so big of a burden as I am. But all I can do is let him sleep.
He might never know that I take the time to listen to him snore. Maybe one of those days when he's feeling horrible I'll show it to him and say "you are loved and I see you and I am grateful for everything you do, I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you." Maybe I'll make bits of this post into my Father's Day letter. I've been wondering what to do for that because I've been more vocal lately about how much I love him and sometimes it feels like there's nothing left to put in a Father's Day letter that wouldn't just be the same.
There's something special in just the same, though. Like listening to snoring. There's time. And when you're sitting in the middle of time, in the quiet and the dark and listening to snoring, and wondering when the next snore is gonna come, and contemplating life and love and time - well, I'm not doing anything else. And I'm not getting any younger. And maybe right now I can't mentally DO anything else. But I can do this.
I can contemplate my father, who is wise and loving and who pours himself out constantly, fill my mind with MY DAD instead of something else, because I love him.
I lied. My first thought wasn't "oh, that means he's sleeping." Well, it was subconscious. But right after, I thought, "I wish I had someone to love this way," meaning that I want to get married and have someone to love.
But I do have someone to love. I have my father. I can love him. I DO love him. And why am I pining for something I can't have, or worse, for someONE I can't have, when my lovely beautiful Dad is right there loving me in his sleep, in his waking, in his working, in his eating, in his thoughts, in his research, in his everything. I have him? Why do I need anyone else?
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are u aware i love u a lot. cause i do <3 shaking you around like a cat with a little kitten and kitten licking you btw
I love you so much<333333333, I'm sorry I don't have energy to be more active and talk with you rn, I wish I could talk with you more, write you something, or anything, I'm always trying to look what's new with your blog and at least offer my little likes and reblogs💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
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Besides a voice claim, does Kraw make any sort of animal sounds?
Oh, plany. He sniffs and snorfs and growls and huffs.
I personally like the range tigers have, where they get pretty guttural (Besides the Big Cat Roar™️ sfx you always hear in movies). I’d imagine he sounds most similar to them, although he wouldn’t make the sounds for the same reasons.
Kraw will often make chuffing noises, sometimes casually or in his sleep. His more humanoid partners have certainly gotten a kick out of that.
He might growl or huff when he’s disgruntled ofc. Sometimes he’ll even make those moaning or ‘mooing’ sounds which tigers often do when he’s yawning or just to show discomfort. Or he’ll ‘moo’ to get a laugh out of Gen.
And of course, he definitely got the roar going on. But he’s gotta be REAL mad, or showing off.
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