#you can do anything you put your mind to
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{Weighing Us Down} 28.08.24 - 30.08.24
Written By, Myself.
``It feels almost impossible to carry on when it feels so hard to get back up,
Like a million weights are confining you to the ground…
It feels almost impossible to carry on when it feels so hard to get back up,
But you've got to remember what you're fighting for…
Then you will gain the strength back to push those weights off you're back to keep climbing``
#you can keep going you've just got to keep believing in yourself#you can do anything you put your mind to#original poem#mindfullness#poetic thoughts#life is a journey#positive thoughts
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The "you can't fight fate" trope but it's a person coming to terms with their chronic illness/disability
or
The "you can't fight fate" trope but the person with the chronic illness/disability knows this, but everyone else expects them to fight fate anyway
or
The "you can't fight fate" trope but half the characters say you just have to believe in yourself and anyone who says otherwise has given up, but the other half the characters had it way worse than the protagonist, so the protagonist doesn't know who to believe, or if they can even trust themselves to know when it's okay to stop fighting
#idk something about stories where fate steals your dreams and ruins your life and maybe even kills you too young#feels very chronic illness/disability coded to me#and the railing against it and denial and the grief of acceptance#I have such beef with those 'you can do anything you put your mind to!' quotes
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sneepy cozy time....
#cats#longing to one day hopefully feel sleepy cozy like this again...#There was a pretty cool week here so I thought we had progressed closer to cool fall weather but... NO#..wrong!! It's like 80F in my room right now and was 98F outside yesterday. We get two more 'cooler' days and then#it starts going up again and will be in the high 90s possibly 100 something later this week#in my mind september should be COOOOOLLLL!!!!! or at least STARTING to get there.. Like mid 80s at the highest.#I am going to explode the world with evil wizard powers aaRGHaaHHHHHHHH#OR at least it should get down really low at night. I think thats the main thing is if it's 95 in the day and only 62 for like 3 hours in#the middle of the night then even leaving a fan in windows all night is not enough to fully cool down the house because its just not#enough cold air or cool for long enough. If it were 98 in the day but 15F outside at night then you could probably bring cool air inside al#night and your house would be at a relatively low starting point for the next days heat.#Like for example - in my apartment on a hot and sunny day. Even with every window#closed and blocked off with thick layers of reflective stuff and also not using the stove or doing anything to generate heat - the apartmen#will still go up on average about 6 - 8 degrees in one day. Peaking around 8 - 10pm night time. If I start off with the house cooled down#to 60F. then the highest it would get is 66 - 68 which is tolerable#.But if the lowest I can cool the apartment all night is still only 75F#then it's going to be 81 - 83F by the end of the day. So really it would be bearable (ISH)#for it to be warm as long as it was colder at night.#Though still the IDEAL is to not have to structure my life around envrionmental management and constantly be checking the#outdoor temperature so I can put the fans in the second that it's colder outside than it is inside and putting elaborate curtain systems#up and down at the exact right times and meal prepping 4 days in advance so I dont have to use the stove for 3 days and blah blah blah#Life in the colder weather months is so effortless and breezy in that sense. I can just have the window open all day and get natural light.#I can cook whatever I want. I can wear what I like. I can move around the house freely without needing to always#carry a fan around with me or douse myself in water.#ANYWAY.... oh if only that were me.... snuggled in a warm blanket ... a comforting wintery image...
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hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.
#if you have me on snap then you saw the super gorgeous views and such on my way to idaho but what you did not see was me picking#up my little sister. propping her body up with pillows in a hotel room to make sure she didn’t aspirate on her own vomit in her sleep.#pouring out her water bottle of white claw and talking to her about drug use.#i never make her feel as though she has disappointed me or that she should feel ashamed. shame helps nothing. love helps everything.#i’m going to get her back into treatment soon- i just need her to know she has a home when she’s out. detoxing here first and being#positively reinforced for every single step of the process is so fucking important. it was terrifying to learn that if i had not gone to ge#her when i did that she probably would have died there in the next few weeks.#my fear of death for her is not what guides me though and there’s a huge difference between that and doing something out of love. being#there in dire moments is important yes- but being there through the mundanity of recovery is JUST as vital. it’s a process and it’s hard.#she’s moving in with me for awhile so i can help her through this sensitive time in her recovery.#she’s trying so hard and being recognized for that has literally been making her sob. knowing she has people who truly care for her is#everything. now that my stepdad is away from her like across the country i can actually finally help her. she’s starting to understand and#without me saying anything- she is starting to see what he’s done to her and our family. she needs love and support and stability. she need#reasons to live. sorry im kinda rambling a lot in these tags but i just… i can’t lose another one. the love i carry for my siblings is#unlike any other. i’ve treated them like my children since i was a child and those are my own issues but our mother is gone now too so it i#up to me.#losing my brother last september and my mom the year before that- grief has just been back to back.#in the hotel room i couldn’t sleep. she fell asleep so quickly and all i could do was watch her and think about all of the things i want to#do to make her feel like her life has value and worth enough to stay here and not go. my little sister is forever four years old in my mind#yes she’s an adult of 23 but she is a baby to me. she’s so young and she has so much ahead of her. she deserves a happy and fulfilled life.#our lives have been… very hard. 4 out of 5 of us are still standing and i plan on keeping it that way.#this is not the pain olympics or whatever but listen- if i put an adult in any of the situations we were in as children they would not#survive. we only did because there was no other choice. now there are escapes and we are old enough to try them all- every single one of us#has searched for some escape. it spirals and escalates and it doesn’t help but it is an escape. giving her love and affection and getting#her the help she needs and doing it the RIGHT way- it lessens the need for escape. there is nothing wrong with being an addict.#addiction ends one of two ways. life or death. unfortunately there is no in between. she’s going to feel everything- bad and good. i want#her to know there is so much good. that she is good. every move i make right now matters so i don’t think i’ll have time for tumblr or#much socializing.#just a heads up yk. thank you for your patience in advance <3
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The choice from Sunday is kinda weird cuz the options are build a cage in the house for the bird or build a nest where it fell and one leads to the bird growing up but dying once its set free and the other one probably leads to it dying much sooner. They both feel like the same option and even tho obviously the most kind, caring, morally right thing to do is keep it inside so at least it lives longer even if it's in a cage. But like to me both options suck and are basically nothing cuz I'm sorry if I look like a bad person for this, but I'm not sorry, but I'm not fuckin touching a wild animal. Even if I knew it was there even if I bothered to check out the sound to find a bird, which I wouldn't, I'm not touching it. I'm not even getting close enough to find out it's too young to fly yet. Whatever happens to it happens man and I'll never know what happens to it cuz I'm not even gonna look at it. Like, where's the 'you seem like an asshole but really it's quite a normal choice' in this whole trial thing??? That's usually an option you can pick. Sunday!!! Sunday, listen!!! There are more than two choices!!! You don't have to always do something!!!! You can just walk away!!! You don't have to try to do something for everyone all the time!!! Think about yourself sometimes!!! It's not selfish I promise!!! SUNDAY!!! OH MY GOD HIS WINGS ARE COVERING HIS EARS HE CANT HEAR US!!!!
#i genuinely dont wanna pick anything#like okay. i know they dont have animal control or a shelter in this setting. but irl genuinely just call some people and see if theyll take#it if you wanna do something about it.#you are not getting my ass to touch a wild animal of any kind. i dont care what the situation is#i was asked once if i could help take care of some baby mice a friend accidentally ruined the nest of and a shelter wouldnt take them#and i was like. im sorry but no cuz i know for a fact im not equipped to handle something like that and i dont wanna touch wild mice and#i KNOW at least some of them will die and i wanna now have to deal with dead mice. and you know what happened?#the friend couldnt keep up with how often they needed to be fed and they died. and now you have dead mice.#something could have happened where they survived outside like the mom came back and fixed it maybe or at least one fended for itself#like its a shame the nest accidentally got ruined but it was an accident and things like that happen all the time#yes its an accident you caused but in the case of something like that i really dont think its suddenly your responsibility now#and i know itll make you feel better to try to make up for it but now you have dead mice#and i know for some people at least trying to help makes them feel better but now we're at the point where i just dont understand#i just cant comprehend the feeling or the idea or the thought.#so its like. i get sunday feels like he HAS to do something for everyone all the time but its genuinely turning him into a monster and he#cant see that. like trying all the time despite getting nothing done will tear you apart. let yourself rest#do the small things you can do around you. dont put the weight of everything on you all the time otherwise you wont get anything done#and youll start thinking not doing anything isnt even an option anymore#i promise its okay. take a break.#im not even referring to sunday anymore. you 🫵 its okay. take a break. make yourself feel better#then come back to things with a clearer calmer mind and do the small things you know you can do#dont force yourself to do everything because you feel like you have to. itll be okay. i promise#hsr 2.2 spoilers#hsr spoilers#oh right this is a spoiler post ifnfjfnfk#long post
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Thinking you shouldn't have to pay for Watcher content is you being entitled, actually.
did i ever say i shouldn’t have to pay for it? no, i said it’s disappointing that i would now have to after years of it being free. it would be easier to take if they were completely changing and upgrading their shows or established that the stream wouldn’t just have their current shows and maybe discontinued ones, that it would be different from their youtube channel and worth the sudden charge, but it’s hard not to feel like they’re throwing their audience under the bus
#from what weve seen the shows will still have the same number of episodes so we arent even getting more of the same content#just nebulous ‘better’ content which could mean anything and also nothing when the shows have gradually started to feel overproduced#it is my and anyone elses right to be disappointed by this#and its a personal choice#if you think its worth the money or if youre in a place where you can afford another service then thats wonderful and i hope you enjoy it#but that doesnt make it any less tone deaf to say we as a company need more money when people cant afford to eat#plenty of creators have successfully crowdfunded their own shows without putting all of it behind a paywall#critical role immediately comes to mind#they have literal thousands of hours of content for free and when it came time to ask for money people showed up for them#the answer didnt have to be put everything on a streaming service when there were plenty of other options#its also just a bad business decision but i dont have the expertise to talk about that#tldr people are allowed to feel however they want about this#also acting like its somehow more ‘authentic’ to get money from your audience#instead of advertisers and sponsors who can actually afford it is sus as hell im just saying#mailbox#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#watcher#shane madej#ryan bergara#steven lim
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the entire ending of ep6 is still just so funny “have i just been hurting innocent people this whole time?” “that world was messed up, because that simon was messed up” he says it like it’s an actual fucking response? simon that doesn’t help her moral dilemma at all
#i love how he is not fucking thinking anything through at all 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚#‘me being ice king again is the PERFECT SOLUTION’ [doesnt consider the effect it will have on anyone other than him and f&c for a SECOND]#‘oh yeah ill just do the ritual again and put you back on purpose afterwards’ Youre going to follow a preset plan that requires focus?#You’re going to do that AFTER putting on Crown That Makes You Manic And Insane?#‘ill be cursed the right way :)’ Can you fucking hear the words coming out of your mouth#his brain is literally so fucked#he is surrounded by neon signs flashing DONT DO THIS YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH and he is not seeing them at all#bc he KNOWS what hes GOING TO DO and he will NOT RECONSIDER#bc he has ILLNESS OF THE MIND.#basilposting#fionna and cake spoilers#atposting
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The way I'm literally jealous of the plane in Criminal Minds because at least it gets to have Aaron Hotchner inside of it.
#i want to be that plane#i do not care if it is not living#i still want to be it#aaron has sat his pretty self down inside that plane#i want hotch to sit on me#“you can be anything you want to be as long as you put your mind to it” okay then i choose to be that plane#aaron hotchner#criminal minds#hotch#hotchner#thomas gibson#mon posts 🩷
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day 1 of trying to let things go and be more chill. Not going great
#my boss has a presentation today but she canceled it because she made a doctor's appt#then my coworker volunteered me to do the presentation#my boss asked if i wanted to do it and i said no because of course I don't#then my boss' boss chimed in and passive aggressively suggested she uncancel#then i had to hold my boss' hand while she made her slides because she hadn't done it yet#and she asked me like three times if there was anything i wanted to present#and i kept saying no. so she just assigned me some slides#so 👍🏻 giving a presentation to an unknown audience for an unknown purpose today. guess i should just feel lucky that she isn't making me do#the whole thing by myself#so annoyed by the whole 'do you want to' thing. i said repeatedly I don't want to but if you need me to I can#you're not going to change my mind about wanting to do something#but if you put on your grown up pants and assign it i'll do it
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yknow when people say "you can do anything if you put your mind to it" i refuse to believe. this is SCAMMING. like wdym i cant fucking grow a pair of wings and fly BECAUSE ITS NOT POSSIBLE?? WHAT HAPPENED TO "YOU CAN DO ANYTHING IF YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT" AM I SUPPOSED TO SURGICALLY ATTACH THOSE WINGS TO MY BACK
#funkyglitch.txt#“you can do anything if you put your mind to it” do you mean:#“you can do limited things if you put your mind to it” or “you can do anything to an extent if you put your mind to it”#LET ME FLY DAMMIT#CAW CAW BITCH#OR TURN INTO A SHARK. SHARK WITH WINGS. EVER HEARD OF A UNICORN FUCKING SHARK????
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i am not immune to making Terrible Evil Bastard Man get attached to a stubborn feral child and having to carry her around when she inevitably gets tired during time travel adventures
#the doctor is literally more qualified to carry amy pond around BUT#if the masters hands are full he cannot plot. therefore. place little amelia into them.#to complete this picture you must imagine that the first time the doctor hands amy to him when she needs to be carried back to the tardis#the master fully scoops her under his arm like a football and carries her like that.#INTENDING to prove to the doctor that he is not here to do childcare and cannot be trusted with amy. unfortunately amelia is having the time#of her life getting swung around and kicking her legs in the air.#and its only much much later that the master ever carries her around normally.#pov u kidnap/hurt the doctor and five minutes later this blonde asshole shows up on your doorstep carrying a little scottish girl and before#you can do anything he has already wiped the floor with you. and not put her down once.#this is so stupidselfindulgent dont mind me#i think its funny to give childrearing responsibilities to terrible people
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.
#that army fan club questionnaire floating around today#not going to reblog it because#i’m kind of over getting blocked for having spicy tags#but#man it blows my mind the toxic shit that makes it into official content sometimes#it’s one thing to leave in some of their off hand comments#from behind the scene footage but#literally the FIRST question#‘your pants don’t fit but you’re hungry- just drink water instead right?’#like who is that for#who is feeling better about anything reading that#do you ever think about all the things they’ve been told by their teams over the years#if this is what is being put out on public display#i know i know Korea is different idols have different standards whatever#eat a fucking banana then a glass of water is not a meal#you can look hot and be fit and still consume food#hybe is well aware the fandom is made up of people#who hang on their every word#a lot of whom at least FIND bts whilst Going Through A Thing#do better man#shout out to jin for being the only one who chose food#he never gives into the not eating bullshit and I love that about him#anyway that’s my two cents#just a girl having thoughts#here on my own blog in my own lane
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chat is making fun of a dead woman and using the word fat as an insult “real feminism?”
mind you these were comments on a post about … building taylor swift in minecraft 😭😭😭
#oh they also said ‘wahhh are you gonna post about this convo to get sympathy :(’ well….yes!#say what you will about taylor swift but i dont think shes this big of a piece of shit lol#like 😭😭😭 my mind is so blown at the level of deranged this is#i genuinely couldnt care less about anything they said. i just think they are deranged#for the record my feelings are not hurt i do not care about anything this person said. i just want to laugh at them#because i said NOTHING to them and they started screaming in my replies talking to a wall#and its genuinely sad ?? like they arent even funny or creative. theyre just mean and boring#go back to the writers room and say something original im begging you#this is why twitter swifties act like they are prosecuted and prejeduced lmao#but like how does one woman put so much hate in your heart that you say this much vile shit to someone who said nothing to you😭😭😭#its so sad i hope they either get therapy or learn how to be funny bc this was a slog#theres more comments u can go read them if u want LOL#girl i have been bullied for liking taylor swift since i was 11. do u think this is new for me.#also one day your mother will die too.#anyway theyre blocked <333 but i love them i hope theyre having a good day
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I've had a very productive day :3 so I feel good about resting for the evening and not thinking about any school stuff
#I got most of the way through the first module of one of the asynchronous courses I have#its a college fundamentals course so it's very straight forward and easy so far but it's good to get my brain back in gear#even if it does feel very like. toxic positivity and patronizing sometimes#sometimes. an obstacle is an obstacle. not all obstacles are opportunities. but whatever. as long as I get the work done it doesn't matter#if I believe in the whole “you can do anything you put your mind to” shtick or not#also I finally got the last of our shit unpacked/put away/sorted!#for the two years I've been living here the dining table has just had boxes on it and been a dumping ground for receipts and such#I got it all tidied up and set it up to be my desk! I'll take a picture tomorrow when it's light out#it looks cute and I just feel good and satisfied and like I actually achieved something tangible#this is the first I've actually felt a twinge of excitement about school
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to meee :3 akechi and sumire arent exactly friends throughout january, (they only get really close several years later) but as a side effect of neither having anything better to do and the two constantly haunting kichijoji i think they inevitably fall together more often than not. ren takes sumire out for darts and shes weirdly better than she was last time (sidebar but the fact that sumire and akechi both mimic your throws but sumire sucks shit at darts too much for it to do any good is so cute) and shes like oh yeah akechi-san has been teaching me. oh wow i got a forty! unaware of the way she just blew rens mind.
#the clock chimes at midnight#its not all about you ren!!!!!#sidebar to the sidebar. of course sumire imitates your dart throws. of course.#again theyre too busy fighting for their respective lives in the time loop to actually become friends in january#but i do think in the years before meeting again they think of the time with fond bittersweetness of what couldve been.#theyre not really going out together but more mutually keeping each other company lol. its generally a pretty quiet affair.#sumire doesnt really ask him for advice as she puts herself back together (he tends to get acerbic if she tries)#but he can be a pretty decent sounding board for either really simple (red or blue glasses)#or really philosophical (do you think my time as kasumi irrevocably changed who i am and if so am i still sumire) questions.#he does not tell her anything concrete about why the other thieves are so tense with him and she doesnt ask outright#but she able to glean a bit more about him through these discussions. and sadly for both of them they both actually sort of like each other#they get food. play darts. practice mementos on their own a few times (THEY GET A SHOWTIME STOP LYING TO ME!!).#and i sort of think akechi smokes either hes always done it or very recently picked it up now that he no longer needs to be personable#and sumires like well. im going to remain myself but i still want to do smth self-destructive. smoke me up man.#(also all her clothes smell like kasumi and its freaking her out. she doesnt mind smelling bad if itll distinguish her.)#idk. akesumi smiles gently.
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when will i fall in love and get to write stuff about it
#i mean it's scary and i probably wouldn't understand what i feel because i've never been in love#but you see there's literally no one#and probably won't be for a long long while#i think it must be so nice you know to have a new reason to wake up every morning and live through this excitement#i've been thinking about this and relationships#i think sometimes it's a bit hard writing a character in love when i know nothing about it#i'm not even sure if i'm doing it right though#sorry for yapping here it's just something i thought and i literally can't stop posting anything that crosses my mind haha#just imagine having your own person and you can put them in all of your hopes & dreams#wow#i think i'm gonna wish for this on my birthday#daenysdreams
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