#you can tell it's late because my usual queue has kicked in LOL

[karajaynetoday]

clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose | ashton irwin

image source 

hello friends! yes it is after 2am in my timezone, OOPS. But the inspiration struck, and the writing gods blessed me with motivation and words, so here’s part 3 of charlie rose, ten fingers, ten toes. apologies for any typos, i’m a lil delirious right now. Thank you so much to everyone for their lovely feedback and shares with the previous parts. Also shout out to any Friday Night Lights fans who got a lil kick out of the title of this one lol. Enjoy!

Read Part 1 here | Read Part 2 here 

Word count: 4.1k

Warnings: none

(This is a fem reader insert)

More writing here | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here | if you’d like to be on my taglist go here

After your quiet moment of togetherness on the beach that evening, you felt more comfortable around Ashton than ever before. Previously small touches were held for longer; instead of accidentally waking up in each other’s arms, you purposefully went to sleep that way; and Ashton’s hand slipped into yours whenever he could manage it.

Charlie Rose still crept into your bedroom every morning for her favourite snuggles, and then she began joining her Uncle Ashton out on the deck for some morning yoga every day as well (which was possibly the cutest thing you had EVER seen). Charlie tried her best to follow all of his poses and stay as quiet as she could, but her favourite part was when the yoga was over and Uncle Ashton used her as a body weight for his push-ups and bench presses, bopping her nose between each rep and earning a giggle in response. Again, a contender for the cutest thing you’d ever seen. 

You spent your days on the beach or relaxing in the villa, and your nights eating out and then stargazing on the deck. You were getting far too used to paradise, and you had to keep reminding yourself that the holiday would soon come to an end. You noticed Ash spending more and more time looking at emails on his phone as your time in Maui progressed, and it started you thinking about how busy his life was about to become. Tour was kicking off a few weeks after you were due to return from Hawaii, which meant Ashton would be criss-crossing all over the US for a few months, before a short break and then heading to Europe and eventually Australia. 

As you watched him build yet another sandcastle with Charlie on a lazy afternoon, you realised just how much effort Ash was putting into spending time with Charlie and making memories with her. Of course, you’d had a lot of Charlie Rose quality time as well, and spent some nice one-on-one time with Alice that you hadn’t really had since Charlie had arrived (naturally, Alice had tried her best to pry information from you about exactly what was going on between you and Ashton, but you didn’t quite know yourself yet, so you’d brushed it off the best you could). But Ashton had barely gone a few weeks without seeing Charlie her entire life, and especially now that she was a little bit older, she was definitely going to know that he was away, and you weren’t quite sure how she’d take it. You also weren’t sure how you’d take it, either. 

Your mind was running into overdrive with increasing anxieties, and you just didn’t know how to voice any of them. On your final night in Maui, after another incredible beachside dinner and a trip to get Charlie’s favourite ice cream, you were folding clothes from the dresser into your suitcase quietly while Ashton was in the shower. You know you needed to talk to him about how you were feeling, but not quite knowing what that even was was driving you up the wall. You hated the overbearing sense of uncertainty. Did Ashton even want something more than a holiday romance from you? You’d only kissed again a handful of times, and despite increasing tension between you, the only thing happening beneath the sheets of your shared bed was some very wholesome spooning (not that you were complaining). Was more-than-friends even on the table? Did you want it to be on the table? Could you handle months of Ashton being away on tour, and the critical eye of his fans and the media? Were you reading into everything too much? Oh god, why were you like this?

You were snapped out of your trainwreck of thoughts by the bathroom door opening, and in your peripheral vision you saw Ashton step out with a fluffy white towel wrapped around his hips. You busied yourself with folding more clothes, but your hands faltered as you felt Ashton come closer, and you sucked in a breath when he slipped his arms around your waist and pulled your back against his bare chest. 

“Why are you packing already, darlin’? We’ve still got the whole night to enjoy.” Ash whispered against your ear, before pressing soft kisses down one side of your neck. You closed your eyes for a moment, enjoying the sensation, before all of the anxiety you’d been grappling with came flooding back into your mind and without meaning to, your entire body tensed up. Ashton immediately sensed the change in your demeanour, and stopped what he was doing. He let go of your hips, and gently tilted your head to face him.

“What’s on your mind?” He tried gently, knowing that you hated confrontation (Ashton’s love for it was a huge part of what intimidated you in your first few interactions all those years ago). 

You sighed, before turning around to face him completely as you perched on the edge of the bed. Ashton sat down next to down, and loosely linked his hand with yours. 

“What… what are we, Ash?” You whispered, not wanting to meet his gaze as your heart started beating faster and faster.

“What do you want us to be?” Ashton countered, squeezing your hand softly.

“I want…” You trailed off, closing your eyes and inhaling deeply. “I want us to be as close as we are, always. I want to have you by my side, while we get to be Charlie’s godparents and watch her grow up and support her achieving her dreams. I want everything we’ve had in Maui, and I want more, but I just… I don’t know how this all works, once we’re back in LA and I’m stuck working a 9-5 while you’re touring the world meeting incredible, probably attractive people, and then I started thinking about what would happen with Charlie if we didn’t work out and I… I don’t know how to make this work. “ Oh god, you were rambling now, but every anxiety that had crossed your mind in the last few days was tumbling out and you couldn’t stop it now.

Ash waited for you to stop talking, and took your other hand in his. 

“That’s all valid, babe. I don’t know how this works either. I’ve had relationships while I’ve been on the road before, sure, but this is different. Because it’s us. You… You mean more to me than anyone else, but I know it’s scary. For both of us.” Ashton said softly, raising your hands to his face and kissing them. 

“Charlie’s going to be important to both of us for the rest of our lives. We’re going to be there for her, like you said, and that means we’re also unavoidably going to be around each other. If we date and it doesn’t work out, we can’t let that get between us being the best godparents Charlie Rose could ever have, because I know we both love that little girl more than anything… but, I also don’t want to let the fear of us not working out hold us back from even trying, you know?” 

Damn it. Why did he always have to be so wise? A wordsmith, of sorts. 

“I know, Ash. I know it shouldn’t hold me back, and I’ve let fear hold me back from a lot of things, too many things…” You paused, as your mind flashed back to the last time you had a serious conversation about a relationship with someone. Someone who’d ripped your heart out and stomped on it several times over. You shook your head, trying to shake away the memories. 

“But I don’t want you to think that I don’t want to give us a chance. I do. But I’m a little out of practice at this, and the last time I tried, it didn’t go so well.” You grimaced, as the flashbacks continued no matter how hard you tried to block them out. 

“And I respect that you’re going to need time to feel comfortable with whatever this is. I can’t promise to wait forever, but I can tell you that right now I’ll give this a chance, if you’ll let me.” Ashton spoke firmly, ducking down to meet your eyes.

“Okay. But slowly, right?” You looked at Ash properly for the first time all night, and his hazel eyes gazed back at you steadily, with a glint of excitement at your agreement. 

“Slowly. I will cancel the romantic beachside dinner with a string quartet, and put a hold on asking you to move in the minute we land at LAX.” Ashton said solemnly, before cracking a grin at what must’ve been a slightly panicked expression on your face. 

“I’m kidding, you dork. We’ll take it slow. I’m going to be gone for a while anyway, so we’ll have to kind of take it slow thanks to circumstance anyway. But you’ve got to let me take you out a few times before then, deal?” Ashton stuck his hand out, and you shook it, rolling your eyes at his antics.

“Pleasure doing business with you. Now then, I should probably put some pants on…” Ashton murmured, looking around the room for his clothes and getting up from the bed to pull some shorts out of his suitcase by the door. You were, quite frankly, ogling his toned back and shoulder muscles, when a knock at the door snapped you back to reality.

“Charlie wants both of you to come read her bedtime story, please!” Alice’s voice sounded through the door, sounding tired and a little on edge. For a tiny human, Charlie sure knew how to make a big performance out of bedtime. Ashton finished getting dressed, and he tugged your hand into his as you made your way over to Alice and James’s room where Charlie was snuggled into her cot. Tonight’s book of choice was from the Little Feminist collection you’d bought Charlie when she was a baby, and you read all about Malala, and Ruth, and Frida, and Rosa, until her little eyes closed and her breathing steadied. You and Ashton took turns to lean into the crib and kiss Charlie’s forehead silently, before making your way back to your own bedroom for one last sleep before your scheduled return to Los Angeles. 

Leaving Maui felt much harder than arriving - not helped by the tantrum Charlie threw when you explained there was no time for yoga or sandcastles. After James had calmed her down and negotiated one final quick walk on the beach while the rest of you checked out of the hotel, you made your way to the airport and onto the first flight and then the second with ease. You’d learnt your lesson from the previous long-haul flight, and Ashton had downloaded a few more Charlie-friendly apps onto his iPad that she happily engaged with. She barely left Ashton’s side for the whole flight, and you started to wonder if she’d sensed his impending departure on tour. Sure, Charlie was only small, but her emotional intelligence was remarkable (I mean, as her godmother you were maybe a little biased, but maybe you had a child prodigy on your hands, who knows?!) and you weren’t looking forward to seeing them bid each other farewell in a week or so. 

You and Alice shared an iPad and watched a few episodes of Friday Night Lights. It was one of your favourite shows that you’d binged watched together one summer, and rewatching it brought you comfort (and a fair dose of fangirling over Tim Riggins, and a recurring debate on whether or not he should’ve ended up with Lyla or Tyra). It was an emotional rollercoaster, and the small town of Dillon in the show reminded you of the one you’d grown up in (albeit a little more Texan, and a bit more enthusiastic about American football specifically). After landing at LAX and disembarking, you made your way to the long term parking garage and helped James and Alice load their luggage and Charlie into their car. You were about to get in yourself, when Ashton cleared his throat behind you.

“Can I give you a lift? You’re just around the corner from me, it’s not out of the way.” Ashton said brightly, pre-empting any excuses that you were about to come out with about you being a bother. You agreed, and he took your suitcase from your hands and led you towards his car that was parked nearby. The car ride home was quiet, and when Ashton pulled into your driveway, you didn’t want to unbuckle your seatbelt and get out of the car. Because that would mean that the magic of vacation was truly over, and you didn’t like that idea at all. 

“Come on, slow poke. I’ll help you carry your stuff inside.” Ashton tapped your nose, disrupting your internal dialogue. You reluctantly followed his lead and got out of the car and headed inside, groaning to yourself about the idea of having to do laundry and all of your unattended life admin the next day, to ready yourself for a return to work on Monday. Ashton pulled your suitcase into your bedroom, and laughed when you flopped down onto the bed and moan in annoyance into the pillow.

“Post-holiday blues, gorgeous?” His tone was teasing, and you could hear the stupid smirk on his face. 

“Not all of us have the luxury of a rockstar lifestyle, Irwin. No more late nights or sleep ins for me. Back to the daily grind.” You sighed, pushing yourself up onto your elbows at the edge of the bed.

“Well…” Ash crouched down so your faces were level. “How about I make it a bit less of a travesty by taking you to brunch tomorrow? Just us.” He shot you a wink as he spoke.

“Just us?” You felt yourself smiling, and oh yes, there were those butterflies again.

“Just us. Pick you up at ten.” Ashton beamed as you nodded, and he quickly pressed his lips to yours before you could say anything in response. You reached up and linked your hands behind his neck in an attempt to deepen the kiss, but Ashton caught onto your arms and untangled them, before pulling away.

“Slowly, remember? Gotta keep something up my sleeve for you, darlin’.” Ashton smirked, pressing one final kiss to your lips and standing up to his full height. “I’ll see you tomorrow at ten. Sweet dreams, babe!” He shot you another wink, and strolled right out of your bedroom without another word. Damn, he had you good. 

Brunch was delightful, there was no other way to describe it. Conversation between you and Ashton flowed easily, but there was also comfort and content in the silences you shared as well, sipping coffee and eating your smashed avocado. Ashton had a few days of final rehearsals and meetings this week before flying out for the first tour date on Friday. On Thursday, you were scheduled to babysit Charlie, and you’d suggested to Ash that perhaps you could go to the nearby park and play on the playground. He’d agreed, and was going to see if Calum wanted to come along and bring Duke. Charlie Rose loved her godparents, but she also loved dogs, especially ones that were a little more Charlie-size friendly. She did not love Calum (yet), but that was mostly because he liked to rile her up with arguments about who Ashton’s best friend was (logically, it was Calum, but emotionally, Charlie was definitely giving him a run for his money). 

On Thursday the sun was shining, so you headed to the park with a bubbly and chatty Charlie Rose in tow (once you’d ensured you’d both slip, slop, slapped for sun safety, of course). Charlie had insisted on wearing her brand new overalls that Alice had hand-embroidered her name and a series of colourful roses onto, and a bright yellow sunhat to match her seemingly sunny disposition. The park was fairly empty when you arrived, and you easily spotted Ashton and Calum resting on a park bench by the swings. Charlie spotted them also, and tugged on your hand for permission to run over, which you gave her.

“Charlie Rose! How’s my best girl?” Ashton’s voice boomed across the park, as he lifted Charlie up into a hug and then swung her around, causing Charlie to shriek with excitement. You reached the park bench and set down the tote bag you’d brought along, and Cal stood up to hug you hello with Duke in his arms. 

“Thank god you’re here, mate. We were starting to get some weird looks from the mums over there.” Cal muttered, pulling away from you and setting Duke down on the ground.

“Duke! My best puppy!” Charlie yelped excitedly, wriggling out of Ashton’s arms to greet her favourite furry friend, who patiently stood still while she petted him softly and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Gentle, Charlie,” You reminded, crouching down to her level. “Did you say hi to Cal? He brought Duke to the park, just for you.” You gently prompted, smiling encouragingly at your goddaughter, who eyed you suspiciously before fixing Calum with a glare. 

“Hi. I guess.” 

You had to stop yourself from cracking up at Charlie’s blunt tone in greeting Calum, and you could see Ashton doing the same. Cal just smiled at Charlie, before producing a tennis ball from his back pocket and offering it to her.

“Wanna play fetch with Duke, Charlie? I’ll let you have the first throw…” Cal offered cautiously. Charlie grabbed the ball from his hand and bounded off with Duke on his lead, and Calum scrambled to follow her. 

“You got it, Cal?” Ash called after him, half-serious, half-laughing.

“Yep! Got it! We’ll be best friends in NO TIME, just you wait!” Calum called back, as Charlie stopped a few metres from him. She liked to push the boundaries sometimes, but Charlie Rose also knew the rules, and not to go too far from her grown ups when you were out and about. 

Countless rounds of fetch, a few turns on the swings and one too many trips down the slide (both Calum and Ashton almost got completely stuck) later, it was time to take Charlie back home so that James could come by after work and collect her. Ashton offered to walk you back, and Charlie clapped her hands in delight when he let her climb onto his back for the journey home. She kissed Duke goodbye and mumbled some sort of farewell to Calum (which was progress), and you headed out of the park towards your house.

You’d noticed that Ash had grown reserved on the walk, but he was still listening intently to the story Charlie was telling him about how proud she was of Duke for learning how to play fetch. When you arrived home, he set Charlie down on the couch with an exaggerated groan and a kiss to the forehead, before heading into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. You followed, sensing that something was up. Ashton was facing away from you at the sink, but he didn’t flinch or react when you brushed a hand along his shoulders reassuringly.

“You okay?” You asked quietly, trying to meet his gaze.

“Yep. Just gotta do the pre-tour goodbyes to my two favourite girls. Sucks, but no avoiding it.” Ashton said, his tone laced with sadness. He gulped down the rest of the water in the glass, and set it on the sink, before turning to you and pulling you into a brief hug.

“Time to rip the bandaid off.” Ash whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head before heading back into the living room.

“Charlie Rose, can I talk to you for a second?”

Charlie looked up from where she was playing on the floor with a teddy bear you kept here for her, and cocked her head to one side, eyeing Ashton curiously.

“I suppooooose.” She drawled out, making you chuckle. This child had a flair for the dramatics. Ashton crossed the floor of the living room and picked up Charlie, sitting her on his lap as he settled onto the couch.

“Do you remember how I get to play my drums with Calum, Luke and Michael?” He asked slowly, brushing the hair that had come loose from Charlie’s pigtails out of her eyes. She nodded, looking up at him curiously.

“Okay, good. So, there are lots of people that like to hear us play, all over the world. And that means I have to go away for a little while, so we can play our music for them.” Ashton continued, and you could tell he was struggling to keep it together. 

“Oh! So we get to go on more airplanes, like Maui?” Charlie said, excited at the prospect of another adventure.

“You don’t get to come with me this time, Charlie Rose. Maybe you and auntie, and mama and dada can come visit me for a bit of it, but I’m going to go by myself for a little while. But I promise I’ll still FaceTime you lots, and read you stories, and you can tell me all about your adventures with auntie, okay?” Ashton was trying to keep his voice calm and steady, but it was starting to waver, especially as the realisation dawned on Charlie Rose and her bottom lip began to wobble. Ashton noticed, and pulled Charlie in close, whispering reassurances into her ear and rubbing her back as she began to sniffle into his shoulder. 

“What about auntie?” Charlie asked, her voice muffled into Ashton’s shoulder. You sat down on the couch next to Ashton, and rubbed a hand along Charlie’s shoulders.

“What about me, Charlie Rose? I’m not going anywhere, lovebug.” You coaxed reassuringly, giving Charlie a small smile when she turned to look at you and rub her face.

“Yeah, but… but won’t you b-b-be sad that Uncle Ashta’s gone too?” She hiccuped, looking at you with worried eyes and a frown, as her tiny mind tried to process everything that was happening. You saw Ash glance at Charlie in wonder, but then admiration, when he realised what she was trying to say. 

“You’re right, lovebug. I will miss him,” You began, pausing to note the flicker of a smile that crossed Ashton’s face. “But, just like you, I’ll get to call him on the phone heaps, and then maybe we can go and visit him on tour, won’t that be fun?” You tried to speak as brightly as you could muster, but you could feel the anxiety and emotion starting to build in your own chest. If only you could get away with throwing a temper tantrum, but alas.

“Mmm, fun. But… how will you sleep?” Charlie asked, confused.

“What do you mean, bug?” Ashton asked, bopping her on the nose which made her wrinkle her face in confusion. 

“How will you sleep without snuggles?” Charlie asked so innocently that you had to stifle a laugh and partly a cry, because honestly, you had no idea how you were going to cope with the next month or so apart from Ashton. It seemed silly, given you’d been friends for literally years before this, but something had shifted in those close moments you’d shared in Maui, and the sense of content you’d found with Ashton at brunch and the park and other places in between was going to be hard to go without.

“It’s going to be tricky, Charlie, you’re right. But remember, you can always feel your loved ones and how much they care about you, even if they’re not with you, right? And you can do anything you set your mind to, can’t you?” You said softly, as Charlie reached over to you for a hug and pulled you closer to Ashton in the process.

“Yes, we can.” She mumbled, giving you and Ashton slobbery cheek kisses in response.

“What does mama say to auntie when I get frustrated or sad, can you remember?” You prompted, returning Charlie’s kiss on the cheek.

“Oh! Clear hearts, full eyes, can’t lose!” She exclaimed, proud of herself for remembering. You laughed, and Ashton joined you, throwing his arms around you and Charlie in one warm embrace.

“Almost, lovebug. Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.” 

You knew getting through these next few months was going to be a challenge, but in that moment, it felt like you were ready for anything that the universe was going to throw your way. 

More writing here | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here | if you’d like to be on my taglist go here

Taglist: @suchalonelysunflower​ @blackbutterfliescal​ @redrattlers​ @loveroflrh​ @spicycal​ @notinthesameguey​ @metalandboybands​

[tsumtsum-into-omiomi]

CHAPTER THREE: LUNCH TIME

warning(s): cursing

word count: 1.5k

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

AO3

The lunch traffic in the dining hall right now is no joke. You are squeezing through hundreds of hungry students trying to look for Suna, who is supposedly saving a seat for you somewhere. Well, he better. You bought him the bento that he wanted, so the least he could do is find a place for you to eat your lunch together.

Slipping past some familiar faces with a "hi" and avoiding the rest, you manage to get to your usual table at the end of the hall only to find Suna missing. You click your tongue while turning around to see if he is nearby. Maybe he was too late to get that table and chose another one.

However, instead of Suna, you see Kita making his way towards you through the crowd.

"Miya," he greets.

"Yo, Kita-san. What's up?" you play it cool while your heart thumps loudly in your chest.

"I need to talk with you about the festival," he informs, hand reaching into his bag for a file holder.

"Oh, right! I was gonna look for you to sign up," you rummage through your backpack to look for a pen.

Kita hands you a piece of form, "the twins have signed up for you. They're just not sure what's your student ID and I need your signature too."

You roll your eyes, "when will they ever stop making decisions for me?"

"I thought you wanna go?" Kita frowns.

"I am. But, the fact that they still sign these things up for me..." you accept the form Kita offered, "I can do it on my own. I'm in my fourth year already, y'know?"

Kita smiles, "I think they just want to make sure that you come. They said something about turning it into a family trip?"

It's your turn to frown at Kita, "this is literally a school thing. What the hell are those two thinking?”

The guy shrugs, "well, you know them."

"They're embarrassing," you shake your head, filling up whatever boxes the twins have left empty.

"And you're one of them too," Kita reminds. You look at him to rebut but unable to find the right words. He's right.

With a sheepish smile, you hand the form back to him, “I'm sorry that there are three of us now in the club.”

"At least you're polite,” he takes the form back and slides it into his file holder. “Thanks.”

“Only with you,” you think, remembering Atsumu and Osamu’s advice not to cross him. And also because you want to be on his good side.

“No problem. By the way, isn't there a fee?” you ask while searching through your backpack again to find your wallet.

Kita raises a hand up, telling you it's fine, “your brothers paid for you already.”

You stop in your track, “oh.” Whatever ill feelings you had for the twins just now disappeared, replaced by some sort of comfort.

“Have you had lunch?” he questions.

“I'm actually looking for Suna. We're supposed to eat together.”

“I saw him with your brothers around here just now. I'm joining them.”

“Oh, cool. Let's go together then.”

Kita nods and starts surfing through the crowd with you behind him. You follow closely, not wanting to lose him but in the middle of all those uniformed students, Kita starts to look no different from the others.

Out of nowhere, someone bumps into you, knocking you out of your path and you are disoriented for a moment. Gathering yourself back quickly, you found your footing again in no time, but Kita has dissolved into the mass. Alarmed by the sudden lost, you look around like a nervous chick trying to find its mom, drowned in the sea of people.

“Oi.”

You feel someone nudging your arm. It's Osamu, with a tray of food in his hands. You sigh in relief to see him. He juts his mouth out towards your east, pointing at where he's sitting at. You can see a blotch of gray hair and hear Atsumu’s laugh  now.

“Can’t  believe I lost Kita-san in the crowd. We were together!” you grumble, resuming your walk with Osamu.

“You lost him or did he leave you?” he teases.

“No way he'd leave me,” you glare at him even though his words made your heart sink.

“Kidding! That's why I said, it's a lost cause. I've never seen him lay his eyes on anyone. And knowing how useless you are around your crushes... it's not gonna go anywhere."

Osamu's truthful words cause you to press your lips together in annoyance. You wanted to respond but the both of you have arrived at the six-seater table to join Atsumu, Suna and Kita.

"See if he even realises that you were separated just now," Osamu adds in a whisper.

“Shut up," you cut the conversation off, not wanting anyone to hear.

“Just sayin’,” he shrugs his shoulders and takes the seat beside Kita.

“Samu-nii!” you hiss at him, giving a hint that you want to sit there.

“What?” he frowns.

“Dumb ass," you curse under your breath before making your way round the table to occupy the vacant chair in front of Osamu instead.

He looks at you with a silent "oh", realising what you meant seconds too late. You roll your eyes at him, pulling out two meal boxes from your backpack and giving one of them to Suna, who is sitting beside you.

"Ugh, you stuffed my lunch into your bag again," he whines, taking the slightly crumpled container from you.

"Sorry," you utter.

"As if you are," Suna opens his box with a small scowl.

"Shut it, I had to queue for 15 minutes to get that," you slam a pair of disposable chopsticks in front of Suna, warning him not to complain further. You would like to focus on your food now, which is also attracting Atsumu at the end of the table. He comes to stand beside you, bending down to inspect the bento.

"What did you get?" he bothers.

"Definitely not your food," you retort, feeding a piece of karaage chicken into your mouth.

"Just a bit, pleaaaaase," Atsumu tries.

"Where's your food?" you grunt, passing your chopsticks to him anyway. Plus, you kind of feel guilty now for crashing his presentation earlier.

"I ate already," he replies, taking a big bite of your rice and chicken.

You smack his shoulder, "are you fucking kidding me?"

"That's good," Atsumu comments, eyes travelling to Osamu's plate now.

"Don't you fucking dare," Osamu pulls his tray closer to him, trying to protect his lunch from Atsumu.

"Your food looks shit, I don't want it anyway," Atsumu sticks his tongue out.

"Miya," Kita interferes and the three of you go quiet. None of you knows which Miya he's referring to but that's definitely a cue to stop bickering. "Can we have a nice lunch, please?"

"Yes, Kita-san," the twins and you answer at the same time in obedience. Atsumu returns to his seat with a sour face, deciding that Osamu's egg rolls that he wanted are not worth the risk of pissing Kita off.

"Which school is hosting the festival this year?" Osamu then prompts.

"Fukurodani, right?" you recall the school name that was printed on the form you filled up earlier.

"Yes," Kita confirms, "Fukurodani Academy."

“Fukurodani’s cool,” Suna compliments, “but I wonder if they can top Seijoh’s festival last year.”

“Oh yes, that was fun!” Atsumu seconds him. He stares into the distance for a second to think, “the only downside was how they only let fourth year students and above to join the contests. The festival's great but last year was definitely the best for me. The duels were crazy, man.”

“Nice. I can join those then!" your excitement is apparent.

"Yeah, you chose the right time to join us," Atsumu echoes.

"What's the festival like?” you gauge, wanting to get an idea since it will be your first time going this year.

“Dude, you're gonna like the festival so much,” Osamu hypes, “it's a weekend full of workshops, pentagram duels, awesome food and pop-up booths selling all sorts of stuff. They always have very rare potion ingredients! Well, it's called the Potions Festival for a reason lol.”

“You’ll meet lots of crazy powerful people too. Remember that clean freak guy who kicked your ass when you dueled him last year?" Suna elbows Atsumu, directing the question to the blonde guy.

Atsumu stays quiet. He slumps in his seat and plays mindlessly with the paper trash of Suna's disposable chopsticks cover.

"No? The one who always had a mask on all the time?" Suna continues. All eyes are on Atsumu now but his mouth remains shut.

"He had like two moles on his forehead, I think?" Suna does not give up and so does Atsumu.

"With wav--"

"I know. He had wavy hair," Atsumu finally speaks, flicking the paper in his hand away. It's subtle, but you could hear the lamentation in his voice.

And you wonder why.

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

AO3

[angelacolsin]

cramzydays replied to your post “cramzydays replied to your post “I think, with how long it’s taking...”

Yesssss - and just a thought, you can queue/schedule your previous excerpts so it'll pop up on the dashboard every once in a while! Cheering you on! ♥

mariaslozak replied to your post “mariaslozak replied to your post “I think, with how long it’s taking...”

I'm so sorry you've had to struggle uphill for such a long while now. I imagine it must be especially hard to maintain focus on productive creativity under such stress and hardship. I admire you for sticking with what you feel is best and right for your story. Sending lots of wishes for the kind of support that helps you most at this time <3

@cramzydays I’ve thought of this!  I’m just so lazy I haven’t gotten around to queuing up any posts D: LoL  Actually, I think it’s a mix of laziness and more recently just dealing with mental illness more than usual D:  (Keep reading to see what I’m talking about :P)

@mariaslozak  Thank you sooo much <3  (I’m also sorry it’s taken me so long to respond to these messages, I’ve just been having a helluva week lol)  I have been experiencing trouble just getting myself motivated to write anything or finding interest in it, and I think a big reason is that my OCD has exploded here lately and I’ve been having issues with anxiety.  I’m also thinking this is, in part, a result of quitting smoking (and pardon me for giving a long winded story lol).

There’s been very little study done on the effects smoking has on people’s mental health, but I have some personal reasons to believe that the chemicals/toxins in cigarette smoke lends a hand to worsening preexisting chemical imbalances that attribute to mental disorders from the start.  So, on the flip side, when a person quits, the body starts a process of recovery, which also applies to mental health issues.  Sadly, my OCD has always been moderate to severe, to the point of hindering my ability to work a normal job, so the way I’ve been feeling lately has definitely put a damper on my writing.  But I’m taking things a day at a time, and I’m definitely adjusting.  Aside from the mental health part of it, it was hard to write simply because that’s a trigger for me to smoke (I was a heavy smoker, let me tell you), so this really caused some issues with adapting during July-September.

But it’s been two months (as of Monday) since I smoked a cigarette, and thankfully, I’ve had several writing sessions where I didn’t even consider picking up a cigarette.  This is another reason I’m not beating myself up for falling behind with Tempting Eternity.  I think that, if I can get over this hurdle and come out of it having kicked a bad habit, it’s definitely worth it to have taken some personal time without getting as much done as I would’ve preferred.

Anyway (and again, I’m sorry I’m being so chatty about this, but I honestly don’t think I’ve really talked to a lot of people about it, and it’s nice to just get it off my chest) thanks so much guys!  I’ll try to find a good, non-confusing excerpt to share soon!  :)

[carryonmywaywardcaptain]

A New Life: Part Two

Series Masterlist

Summary: Your family is killed while you are out celebrating Fall Break with some friends from college. You’re about to take your own life when the Winchester boys come rolling in. They turn your world completely inside out, but along the way you discover a new purpose in hunting and a love you never even dreamed could exist.

WC: 1,888

A/N: Thank you all so much for the kind words from my first ever fic! (Check out Part One here…if I figured out how to include the link. lol)

No warnings this time. It’s pretty vanilla. This next part is more just character development since Y/N has to build bonds with the boys. Hopefully you still enjoy it, because I enjoyed writing it. Stay tuned for Part Three soon-ish, and let me know what you think! :)

.

.

It had been a few weeks since the boys gave you “the talk” in that motel room. You knew they were serious, and they had no reason to pull your leg, but you still hadn’t quite wrapped your head around the fact that monsters exist. And that the boys hunted  these things for a living.

The boys had been gracious enough to take you under their wing and let you live at the bunker with them. You still tried to avoid facing what happened to your family when it crept up in the back of your mind, and you felt like Sam picked up on that. He kept a close eye on you. You figured he wanted to make sure you didn’t try to go find another bridge.

You still spent a lot of time in bed isolating yourself, but the boys were easy to get along with and you appreciated that they would check in and make time for you every day.  You were slowly getting comfortable enough to open up to Sam; you both talked about your experiences with depression and loss, and the lives you were forced to leave behind. He was a good listener, and you quickly became friends.

Dean took a different approach, and made it his personal goal to make you laugh every single day. You both had a similar sense of humor, and there were a few days he refused to leave your room until you had at least cracked a smile. His smile alone was infectious, and laughing with him soon became your favorite thing to do.

For the most part, you were doing much better. You were grateful the boys had saved you and that you had a little hope again, but today you were having trouble keeping your mind at bay. You needed a change of scenery. You needed to get of your room and do something.

You made your way out to the library where the boys had been spending most of their time. Dean was cleaning one of his guns, while Sam was intent on his laptop.

“Dean, I’m telling you. It’s too quiet. I mean, it’s been weeks since we’ve caught a case.”

“C’mon, Sammy. Learn to take a break! You know I’ll always be the first to get out there and kick the crap out of some evil sons of bitches, but we deserve some time off.”

You take a deep breath, and do your best to put a brave face. “Well I don’t know about you, boys, but I could use a night out on the town.” They both looked up as you walked in.

“Heyyy, that’s my girl!” Dean’s face lit up and he slapped Sam on the shoulder. “What d’ya say, Sammy? I could go for a few rounds of pool.”

Sam was silent for a moment before shooting you a concerned look. “Y/N… Are you sure you’re up for that? I mean…you’ve still kind of been having a rough time lately.”

You tried to give him a reassuring smile. He did have a point, but you felt like what you really needed was to have a fun night out. You hadn’t spent much time outside the bunker or really even tried to have fun since… You shook your head and hoped Sam hadn’t noticed. “Are there any good bars around here?”

“I can think of a couple places. When can you be ready?” Dean grinned.

“Give me an hour,” you said with a smile. You turned to head back to you room, contemplating what to wear.

You decided quickly on jeans and a flannel. They were staples to your closet even before you joined up with the boys, but you were especially fond of the layers now that you had noticed it was all the boys really wore. You had planned on spending more time trying on outfits, so you turned on some music and sang as you curled your hair.

An hour later, the three of you piled into the impala and made your way to the next town over. Dean turned out onto the main road, and you caught a few notes of the song on the radio.

“Hey, Metallica! Can you turn it up a little?” You asked, buzzing with excitement.

Dean���s eyebrows shot up as he glanced at you in the rearview mirror. “Good ear. You know Metallica?”

“To be fair, who doesn’t know this one?” You grin and settle back into the seat to look out the window at the fields racing by. You hum and bob your head along with the music. It was the first night you had really put effort into your appearance for months, and you were convinced the whole look good, feel good mantra really worked sometimes.

You felt Dean’s eyes still looking at you curiously in the mirror until Sam brought up something about the lore he’d been pouring over earlier. You tuned him out and focused on drumming your fingers to the beat. You didn’t want to hear any more about monsters that went bump in the night, and you were perfectly happy pretending they still didn’t exist.

Come on, Y/N. You can do this. You give yourself an internal pep talk.

You square up and prepare to take the shot. You draw back, strike the cue ball, and… crap. You end up hitting a ball you weren’t even aiming at, and sink the eight ball. Dean doubles over laughing. You grimace and huff in defeat.

“Y/N. Don’t take this too personal, but I’ve never seen anyone suck so bad at pool in my life. And hey, I’m ready for that next round now!” Dean says with a smirk. You’re not even mad. In fact, you think it’s pretty cute when he gets animated, talking with his hands.

You roll your eyes and turn to head back to the bar. Again. You made a mental note that you’d have to veto this loser buys the next round rule next time. “What’ll it be, boys? Everyone good with beer?”

“Aw, c’mon now, Y/N. Wussin’ out on me already?” He chuckled. “Beer’s fine I guess. Those shots of whiskey’ll probably be kicking in soon anyway. I’ll rack ‘em back up, and we’ll go best 4 out of 7 when you get back.”

“Ohhh, no, honey,” you call back over your shoulder. “I”m good. I’m not about to let my losing streak bring me down tonight. You’re up, Sam!” Despite what’s been going on in your life, you smile a little at how much fun you’re having.

“What’ll it be, sweetheart?” You give a warm smile to the bartender as he slings the rag he was wiping the counter with over his shoulder. You’d guess he’s somewhere in his 60s and, just like you and the boys, he’s wearing a flannel. You assumed he must be a hunter too by the way he was chatting with Dean earlier, but figured it was equally likely that Dean was simply a regular here.

Whatever the case, you liked Joe and the two of you had instantly hit it off. He was the kind of guy who would pour you a drink on the house and genuinely listen if you needed to talk about your problems. But that’s not what tonight was for.

“Three more beers, please. One for me and two for the guys.” You nodded over your shoulder, happy to see the boys racking up a new game.

“No luck again, huh?” He returned your warm smile as he reached behind the bar for the bottle opener.

“Not so much, Joe. Hey, do you mind sending theirs to the table? I need to check out this jukebox Dean has said so much about.” He nods and you make your way across the bar to check out the music selection. You skim through some of the options, and pick a few of your favorites to add to the queue.

Satisfied with your picks, you make your way out to the dancefloor. It feels weird to smile so much, and you realize you’ve been doing it a lot tonight.

You’re a little passed tipsy, and tonight was one of those nights you were really feeling the music. You sway and move your hips, taking full advantage of having the floor to yourself. You look back over at the boys and see that they’re watching you with big smiles…along with half the bar. You’re usually not one to be in the spotlight, but you kept your focus on using tonight to let loose a little.

You don’t let yourself worry about the fact that you might be a terrible dancer, or that you might look crazy out on the floor by yourself. Using your beer as a makeshift microphone, you point at the boys and sing along with Boston in the most exaggerated way possible. Secretly you’re glad the music is loud enough that it drains out your own voice.

Making your way back to the pool table, Sam is still laughing at your performance. You shift your eyes to a still smiling Dean as he takes a long swig from his beer. You see a hint of something flash in his eyes, but it’s gone before you can decipher what it was.

You sing and laugh and whip out your best (if not most embarrassing) dance moves with the boys until last call. Sam downs the rest of his drink as Dean turns his attention to you. “Hate to interrupt your final air drum solo, sweetheart. You about ready to head back to the bunker?”

You blush. Letting your arms return to your sides, you nod. You hadn’t realized how into the music you’d gotten. You can’t imagine what your hair must look like after all the head banging and dancing around you did, but man if tonight wasn’t one of the best nights you’d ever had.

About the time you began to realize how much these strangers had come to mean to you, you began to worry that they might not feel the same. What if you were becoming a burden? What if they were expecting you to leave the bunker soon, and get back out on your own again? It had been a few weeks after all, but you couldn’t bear the thought of leaving. You had nowhere else to go.

Your mind was a million miles away when Dean snapped you out of your anxious thoughts. “Well, Sammy, I think we ought to keep her. It’s not every day someone has almost as good of taste in music as me.”

“Hey, I’m just impressed she holds her own against you. Sometimes your snarky remarks really drive me up the wall. And, I mean, you were pretty cocky with the pool game tonight. I almost had you on that last game.”

They start into their brotherly arguing, and you can’t help but smile again.

Nothing especially memorable happened tonight, but the laughter and comfortability you experienced with the boys made all the difference in the world. Dean slid his arm around your shoulders and guided you to the door. You looked up at him, then turned to look at Sam. In that moment, you knew there was nothing you wouldn’t do for these two. They were your family now.

Part Three

.

.

Tags: @maddieburcham1 @jamrsgang @oswlin29 @amanda-teaches @anotherwaywardsister @growningupgeek @because-imma-lady-assface @obsessivecompulsivespn @imascreamerbabymakemeamute @impala-dreamer @riversong-sam

If I missed anyone or if you want to be taken off the tag for this story, please let me know!

[official-portugal]

A (long ass) guide to become a Friendly Tourist ™ in Lisbon

You know, I complain a lot about tourists and all and last night it got me thinking that there might be people out there reading these and wanting to visit Lisbon but feel self-conscious so I want to make one thing clear: we don’t hate tourists, we hate tourism as a phenomenon and the way it’s being dealt with. We also don’t hate tourists, we hate assholes. So I decided to put together a guide on how to become a friendly tourist in Lisbon.

- If you can, avoid AirBnB, although I understand for you guys it might be cheaper that way. But if you pick an Air BnB, chances are the home you’re staying in belonged to someone who got kicked out so you could stay there. So be fucking respectful. Don’t come home drunk at 3AM, don’t make any fucking noise at night. There might be children right upstairs and old people downstairs, so don’t do anything you wouldn’t want others to do to you. There are neighbors in that fucking building, people who have to go to work, so be fucking respectful. 

- Be fucking nice to every worker you come across. In Portugal, whether you’re at the checkout or having your order being taken by the waitress, when these workers approach you, you’re supposed to greet them. Say “good morning”, “good evening”, or just plain “hello”. Also, finish with please, always. If you don’t, I guarantee you, you won’t be treated differently because these people can’t risk their jobs, but you’ll be labeled a cunt. Like, it costs zero. You don’t just come up to someone and say “TWO COFFEES PLEASE”. AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT SAY GRACIAS.

- Don’t fucking expect people to speak your language, but they will fucking try, so don’t be a cunt about it. Here’s the thing: in the public schooling system, the average portuguese learns two languages. We are taught french and english and the majority of kids even takes a third language in high school. We understand spanish and italian enough to communicate. So we understand what you’re saying, but it doesn’t mean we can speak it. But are you really demanding that we, who already speak 3 languages, speak yours as well you fucking dildo? Also, by “we” I mean naturally the youngest generation. Older people? Not so much. People working in tourism offices are making an effort, they know way more than you and they’re not there to cater to your needs. If you see them struggling with your language, help them. Also, if you disrespect them while you’re asking for directions, I can assure you they’ll give you the wrong advice out of spite, and you deserved it.

- We’re not a tipping kind of country but: we appreciate tips. What I am saying is, any tip is extra money, so it’s welcomed, but we are not culturally taught to monetarily award someone for their good services, instead we praise them. If you do come from a country that tips a lot, you should know we don’t have a “tipping rule”. Even if you leave just a couple of coins, it’s appreciated. But if you don’t come from a tipping kind of country, don’t feel obligated to do it. What you can do is praise their work. Thank them for their kind service. Tell them they’ve made your experience better. That means a fucking lot when you work in tourism because usually yall just see us as punching bags.

- There’s a difference between Pastel de Natal and Pastel de Belém. Both are custard tarts, both have different recipes. The first one, the Nata, can be found in literally any café. The second, the Pastel de Belém, can only be found in their official factory in Belém, across the street from Jerónimos. When you get there, you will see that the queue is super fucking long but don’t worry, they’re used to it and they have an efficient system. I promise you won’t be there for longer then like, 7 minutes.

- Canned sardines are not traditional. I don’t know who came up with this bullshit but I can guarantee you it’s just marketing. Sardines ARE traditional, just NOT canned. Canned sardines were the cheap, canned food the poorest of the poor ate back during the dictatorship. Usually, a whole can was shared by a family. So it kinda makes me offended that a symbol of poverty is trending, but aigh. The sardines we do eat traditionally are roasted outside on a cooker, sort of like a barbecue. THOSE are traditional. (By the way, you want to eat THE ABSOLUTE BEST, take the ferry across the river and pick a restaurant in Cacilhas, I guarantee you that’s the best place to eat sardines).

- Just because you can see the fucking Christ right across the river, it doesn’t mean it’s right there and that you can just get there. I can’t believe I had to explain this several times to tourists, but that Christ is standing on a fucking cliff. You can take the ferry, sure, but it won’t take you there, like, this is basic knowledge, I’d assume. There’s a service that cost 20€ and lasts for 2h and it stops there for a long time, if you’re one to complain about it a lot, take that. If you don’t mind grabbing your own ass and going there yourself, take the ferry and then take the 101 Bus, last stop. 

- There are three ways to get to Belém: tram, train and bus. And yes, by foot is too fucking far. Like, 1h walk far. All of them will be super fucking crowded. You might get luckier with the buses, since for some reason tourists seem to avoid them. The queue in Cais do Sodré is going to be too fucking long, and I honestly do not care one fucking second that it’s an inconvenience for your vacation because we, who depend on it to go to work, take 2h for it as well. The tram is going to be crowded and it's going to take you some 45 minutes to get there on a very bad day. Live with it. That’s the reality of the city, and this is a reality YOU created by coming here en masse, not us. So don’t fucking complain that we don’t cater to your needs because, remember, your inconvenienced holiday means hundreds of portuguese people are getting late for work and taking 4h a day in public transportation. So again, I do not give one flying fuck.

- Tram 28 is a public transportation not meant for you. You, as a tourist, fucked it up, keep that in mind. If you want to ride the traditional trams, there’s a touristic service made specifically for you that works as a hop on hop off and it does a wider route than 28. My advice is take that one, it has no thieves and you can sit down, and it’s two different routes (green tram and red tram). But if you do want to take the public one, then my advice is: take the 12 instead. If you want to get on 28, begin the route from the starting point at Estrela. It will be calmer there. If you want to go to the castle, then no, the tram isn’t the only way. Bus number 727 stops right at its door and it’s usually super empty. Take that one.

- Saint Geroge’s Castle is completely fake. Not a fucking stone in there is real. There are real ruins there, of course, but they aren’t even of a castle, they’re of an “Alcazaba”, an administrative center back when the moors were in portugal. That’s why the neighborhood next to it is called “mouraria” - the moorish neighborhood. Yes, there was a castle there from the 14th century onwards, but very little was left of that. The whole thing you’re seeing? Completely rebuilt in the 20th century. It’s even fascist propaganda in a way.

- Tuk Tuk drivers don’t know shit of what they’re talking about. The chances of them making shit up for you are like, way higher than you can imagine. You can’t comprehend the bullshit I’ve caught them telling tourists, like the Lisbon Cathedral is from the 19th century. They’re not tour guides, they’re fucking drivers. The info they’re giving you is generic and easily obtained. they’re speaking to you as a portuguese person who knows their traditions, but they don’t usually know shit about history and art because they’re not required to. So if you get on a Tuk Tuk, keep that in mind and don’t demand too much from the driver. And also, chances are they’re bullshitting you. I know one Tuk Tuk driver who is an Art History graduate and masters degree and is a great tour guide, since he’s someone I trust a lot with the history of the city, so if you really want to get on one and be real about it, hit me up and I’ll hook you up with him.

- Don’t make a fuss about the supposed “drug dealers” selling weed in broad daylight in Baixa. First of all, literally everyone in the city except you, tourists, know that what they’re selling is not drugs, it’s bay leaf squished into a powder, and I have to give it to them, their scheme is pretty fucking brilliant because it’s prompted tourists to go to the police and complain that “the drugs this guy sold me aren’t real” lmao. But this is a situation that again partly resulted out of mass tourism. So shut the fuck up because I know damn well it would take me one day to find out where I could get high in your country. And also, me as a citizen can’t do shit about it (BECAUSE THOSE AREN’T DRUGS LOL).

- Don’t be fucking unpleasant about the homeless and the beggars. Fucking really? There’s a high level of poverty in here. We’ve been saying for years but if you choose to believe your Time Out articles, then that’s not my fault. But be fucking respectful. Life isn’t cheap here, and we’re having it hard. 

- Please understand, once and for all, that Fado is pretty normalized. Like, it’s fucking everywhere. Every goddamn souvenir shop you’ll walk into, it’s gonna be playing fado. Restaurants, cafés, a fucking cab, same thing. I know it’s been sold as the traditional song of the people, poor and desolate living in the streets of Alfama, but that’s not it anymore. It’s been classified as World Intangible Heritage which means an incredible effort is being made to preserve it, WHICH MEANS the amount of Fado singers has increased incredibly. So there is no “real fado experience” anymore. The real fado experience is either a) a concert, or b) a dimly lit restaurant with a guitar player and a lesser known singer. 

- Be careful how much you’re being charged by the taxi drivers. If possible, don’t take a cab at the airport. If you’re moving from point A to point B WITHIN the city, you shouldn’t be paying over 10€. The starting fee is NOT 20€, it’s 3,90€. There’s a little extra added if you call a cab (instead of finding one on the streets) or take it at night. If you can, install the app My TaxiApp, the drivers there are pretty honest. Or use Uber.

- Don’t get on the Hop On Hop Off buses. Personally, I can’t see what’s so appealing about these, but there are a lot of reasons why in Lisbon they don’t particularly work: 1) traffic. You’re gonna be stuck in traffic, it doesn’t matter what time of the day you got on. 2) The waiting period. It shouldn’t take more than 30 minutes for a new bus to come by, but with traffic, we don’t know, and I certainly can’t predict it, since I don’t have a fucking GPS in me. 3) The bus that goes to the Castle is much, much smaller and it fills up way quicker because double-decker buses don’t fucking fit those narrow streets. So chances are you’re gonna be there for a while waiting because they’ll keep coming full. Not my fucking problem. Take a walk instead. There’s a touristic bus called Caravel on Wheels which would be my advice for you. I worked for them, it’s a 1h45 long video tour. The audio is very well put together and explains the history of Lisbon incredibly well, and it has a shit ton of languages, and you can just ignore the goddamn video, trust me. The assistants are super nice and sweet and the driver is amazing. We made a huge effort to make sure you wouldn’t forget that experience, trust me. Also, it allows you to see the most important parts of the city and then decide what you want to see by yourself.

- Don’t disrespect the monuments. Don’t paint on walls. Don’t spit on fountains. Don’t lean on statues, don’t get close to statues, don’t even breathe on statues. Don’t fucking touch the paintings, the artworks, any fucking thing you find inside a museum. It sounds ludicrous that I have to point this out but you wouldn’t believe what I’ve seen.

- Mouraria, Alfama and Martim Moniz aren’t just the most traditional parts of Lisbon, they’re some of the most multicultural and poorest too. So don’t be a fucking racist asshole. There are indian, chinese, and sikh, among others, communities in there, including “illegal” mosques and chinese restaurants. Don’t be unpleasant to the locals. Don’t be disrespectful to the people who live there. The thing about the portuguese is we love tourists, we’re welcoming like that, IF you are nice. These people are happy to welcome you to their neighborhood, trust me, they are, but you gotta be respectful. 

- Avoid eating at Rua dos Correeiros. If you don’t know what street that is, it’s the only one in the entire fucking Lisbon where every fucking restaurant will have a guy holding a menu approaching you and BEGGING you to eat there, and I mean every single one. Most of those restaurants are most likely schemes and one in particular, Made in Correeiros, has made the news for convincing tourists to come in while holding a menu where they show prices ranging from 10 to 20€ and then inside suggest something that is at the end of the menu (but they will make sure you won’t see it) and it turns out a dish of salmon costs 500€. That whole street is made of shit like that and not a single one of them is traditional in the least, don’t let them convince you they are because they have a bitoque and bacalhau à brás, those are dishes that any portuguese with half a brain can cook, so walk away.

- Don’t be fucking rude to the bus drivers, and I mean every bus driver, whether it’s touristic bus or city bus, cause they are not required to speak your fucking language. There are a million different tourist offices where you can ask for help. Have your money ready when you enter the bus or recharge your Viva card at the subway. A bus fare is 1,80€ within any point in the city.

- And don’t be fucking rude to the vendors. They don’t control traffic. Especially resellers who don’t represent one company but rather sell several companies, don’t yell at them. They don’t control traffic and they don’t control the bus routes. Explain to them you are disappointed by the service and they will take a note and I can guarantee you they will inform the company about the delay/problem and will exchange your money. They don’t think any less of you and they understand you, as long as you’re nice about it.

- And don’t complain to them the city is disappointing! I don’t give a rat’s ass that Barcelona was more beautiful, go to fucking Barcelona and shut up.

- Don’t walk around with 100€ bills. Use 50€ bills for large purchases only. Most vendors aren’t even allowed to accept 100€ due to couterfit problems. Exchange your money at the appropriate place. Don’t fucking buy 3€ worth of fridge magnets with a 100€ bill like I’ve witnissed, come on. That’s common sense. 

- Things that ARE good, traditional souvenirs: porcelain magnets with sardines, tiles, bits of history and the black swallows you see everywhere. Bottles of wine, especially Port, too. Tawny being the best brand. Make sure it’s from Porto/Douro. The bags of salt if they come from Aveiro, otherwise I wouldn’t trust it. The famous red, green, blue or black scarves you see with floral motifs and fringes I guess can be considered traditional too, but be aware that 1) they’re mostly cheap imitations (the realest ones are really expensive) and 2) they’re traditional from way up north like, above Porto even. That’s a part of a very traditional outfit of a very specific region, linked to very specific traditions. Small portuguese guitars are pretty cute. Avoid the cork shit. Cork used to be our main export, now it isn’t and most of that crap I don’t even think it’s made here, it’s just a brand, but someone correct me if I’m wrong. Although the cork postcards are cute. Little stuff like notebooks, postcards and bookmarkers with Fado on it is cute too. A Vida Portuguesa is a store you’ll come across in Baixa that sells shit that looks cute and Art Neauveu-sy that recreates old stuff from the 40s and 50s.

- Things that aren’t traditional at all: canned sardines. Anything being sold on the streets. Certainly not the peruvian CDs on Terreiro do Passo.

- No, you won’t find random postmarks on the streets where you can slip in your postcards. There are a few, but are very scarce. There���s a post office in Restauradores, use that. You can usually buy stamps at any souvenir-looking shop or anything store that says “Casa da Sorte”.

- The green card you use for transportation is good for everything but you need to charge it either with money for all or in the appropriate machines that will give you the specific ticket you’re looking for. 

- If you walk inside ANY restaurant or whatever and ask for a cup of coffee, this is what you’ll get. If you want a larger coffee a bit watered down, ask for an abatanado. Or go to Starbucks. A garoto is a strong espresso with a bit of milk, served in an espresso cup. A galão is basically the same, but in a taller glass that will, for 99% of the time, look like this, and the milk is stirred until it forms foam, like a cappuccino without the chocolate. So be specific about what you want. Our coffee is very strong. Ask the waiters, they’re used to the confusion, don’t worry.

- Here’s an important thing to you if you’re stopping by during a cruise: no, you can’t fucking visit the whole city in one day. The city is way bigger than you’re thinking it is. You can’t see it all in 5h. So pick wisely. Here’s how to pick it: Oriente is the modern part of the city, the main attraction is the Aquarium (Oceanário). Belém is the historical part, where most of the main monuments are. Downtown Lisbon is the place you can walk to and discover by foot. If you’re strict on mobility, a Tuk Tuk is the perfect choice.

- Maybe this is kind of asking too much out of a tourist, but it would be great if you had any fucking clue what Lisbon even has. Don’t just stand in Rossio looking puzzled and ask me where the famous tiles are. You should at least know you’re thinking of fucking Porto, which is some 300km away. The worst question you can ask touristic vendors is “so what can you do in this city?” bitch I don’t know. Make your goddamn research. You like art? Here’s a list: Berardo Museum (contemporary). Museu Nacional de Arte Antiga (from 14th to the 18th century and colonial art). Azulejo museum (those famous blue tiles). MAAT (contemporary art, also a nice overview of the city). Gulbenkian (antiquity to the 19th century and also a modern art center, a beautiful museum with amazing gardens). The Fado Museum. You want history? Here’s another list: anything in Belém, you don’t have to pay for the tickets even, the tower is not that interesting anyway and you can visit the church of Jerónimos for free, it’s the whole monastery complex you have to pay for. Church of São Roque for the prime example of baroque. The Lisbon cathedral. The Church of Saint Vincent. Estrela Basilica. Ajuda Palace. I don’t know what else, at the top of my head, these are probably the most important.

- The train to Sintra is in Rossio train station, which is NOT physically connected to the subway station. Stop asking me.

- Sintra, Cabo da Roca and Queluz are outside of Lisbon. Yes, you have to get on a train. I don’t care if it’s an inconvenience, I didn’t fucking build it.

- No, the beaches are not exactly in Lisbon. The ones that kinda are, you go to Cais do Sodré, you get on a train and get off at Oeiras or something. Ask someone there. The other ones are around Sintra or across the river. If you want to go across the river to Caparica, there’s a service that costs 10€, picks you up in the morning, takes you back in the afternoon. If you think that’s expensive and decide to go there on your own, then be prepared to pay a lot more and have the worst bus ride of your life. I’ve been riding TST buses my whole life, you have no idea the shit hole they are. Pay for quality, it’s worth it.

- No, you can’t get to Freeport by bus. It will take you too long and cost you a fortune. Pay 10€ for the shuttle. It’s way less than any other means.

- No, you can’t take a cab to Fátima. It’s 127km. Also, don’t take the train there. The train station is 30km away from the city. Take a bus. Rede Expresso is your friend. You can charge your fucking phone in that bus! Also you have wifi.

- Yes, you can walk around holding a cup or a bottle of beer on the streets, nobody cares. Just don’t litter. Throw that fucking thing in the garbage, don’t be a pig.

- No, the guys wearing a black outfit with a cape are not celebrating Hogwarts. That’s a joke someone started that caught on. I never actually thought people would believe it, yet here we are. They’re just university students getting drunk lmao. If you want cheap booze, follow them.

- Just overall be kind, don’t bump into people on the streets, don’t stall, smile and say thank you and good morning/evening/whatever. Remember: say obrigado if you’re a man, obrigada if you’re a woman. We don’t care that your portuguese is shit, we love that you tried and that you ask how we say things. We also don’t care that you’re actually speaking brasilian portuguese. We love that you went through the effort. 

- Portuguese people greet with a kiss on each cheek. A handshake is something more business-like. If you don’t like being touched, stay away and wave, we’ll get the message. But if you happen to meet an old lady, then you’re on your own, your cheeks are getting pinched, I can’t save you.

- We’re also incredibly loud. No, we’re not constantly fighting, we’re brutes towards each other. That’s how we show love. Don’t make a point of it.

- But remember: this city isn’t the hip, cheap, hot-spot you’ve been sold. It will look like that if you just wander around Baixa and Alfama and Mouraria, where mostly students and foreigners are. But that is not the reality. The “tradition” you’ve been sold, that supposedly lives in Alfama, practically doesn’t exist anymore. Any story that says “traditional” in it, I can guarantee you is not. The best restaurants are the corner tascas that smell of cooked potatoes and grilled beef. If the owner of a restaurant is fat, the restaurant is good, trust me this is a mnemonic that works. ‘

- Don’t act superior, don’t act like you know this city better because you’ve been here before or because you have portuguese friends. Or because you read this post lmao. Certainly, don’t walk up to tourist vendors and try to convince them YOU know more about traditions in their country than they do, like I’ve had people do with me. Cause you don’t lmao.

Add anything you might think is necessary and sorry for the long ass post

[baoshan-sanren]

tagged by @agendratum (and uh I think a couple of other people I can no longer find in my mentions) for this ~tumblr user~ tag game + lockscreen/homescreen/last played song thing

thank youuuuu 🥰🥰🥰

why did you choose your url?: because I too would love to be an eccentric immortal, living on a mountain no one can ever find, raising hordes of feral children that will go forth and infuriate the cultivation world, all while pining over my long lost lesbian lover

any side-blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them: do I have any sideblogs 😂  so this is a sideblog, my main is @armitageshux but I also have a 2ha sideblog @luo-yunxi and a dmbj/tlt sideblog @wu-xie and a multifandom sideblog (where I mainly dump gifs of current obsessions) @green-ajah AND a fashion sideblog @kutkhu and a star wars sideblog (not so active lately) @cassianandors and um @zhou-xu sideblog where I’m mainly dumping translation links for cnovels and a few that are inactive and a few I just use to mess with code when I’m bored lol  

how long have you been on tumblr?: well, @armitageshux is my third main? and like, it was originally only used to run the In The Flesh Graphic Challenge? so that should tell you I’ve been here too long (I’m still bitter that goddamn show got canceled)

do you have a queue tag?: no, 90% of my posts are scheduled tho so I appear and disappear as I please :)

why did you start your blog in the first place?: I actually made this particular main during one of the purges (I think it was the one that deleted all the massive source blogs for copyright violations? like dcsource and marvelsource) and I did it mainly to anchor my sideblogs in the case my other main got deleted 

why did you choose your icon/pfp?: ah, I actually don’t remember. and the thing with your icon is, eventually it’s impossible to change it (I spend six months going “who tf is this?” whenever one of my mutuals changes theirs lol)

why did you choose your header?: xie lian. need I say more

what’s your post with the most notes?: I made freaking 22k of original posts on this sideblog? I feel like at some point, someone should have stopped me. tbh, not surprised to find out that it’s all the reasons you wanna kill wei wuxian post lmao

how many people do you follow?: 300 

have you ever made a shitpost?: have we met?

how often do you use tumblr?: since like 2019 I think I’ve been on here at least a couple of times every week, but in the years before that, maybe a few times a month?

did you have a fight/argument with a blog once? who won?: so many times 😂  I am so tired. lately I just go “not today satan” and hit the block button

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this post’?: it’s pretty much a guarantee that I’m not going to reblog it

do you like tag games?: I do? most of the time? I just need to be in the right frame of mind? I do like gathering them up like a neurotic squirrel for those really good days when I can just answer dozens of questions without my brain overcooking 

do you like ask games?: same as above. when I’m on my outgoing introvert kick, bring them on. when I’m not, I just look at my inbox and get anxiety (I do love getting asks tho, I know it takes me ten years to answer them but pls be nice to the neurotic squirrel)  

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? oh man, after being on tumblr for so many years, you think I would have a better handle on this? I usually just assume that people who post original content and get like 300 notes in five minutes are... probably famous lol (side-eyes hunxi)

do you have a crush on a mutual?: ahhh I do adore @merelhyn and @wangxianbunnydoodles to fucking death but idk if I’d call it a crush more like I found two sisters living an obnoxious distance away from me, and like.... let’s face it, every time @hunxi-guilai snarks I grin at my screen like an absolute dumbass and probably swoon a little, so that has to count, right? 

both my lockscreen and homescreen are baaasic, like I’ve had this phone for 2 months and I’ve barely bothered to set up anything at all, and the last song is also the same song I’ve had on repeat for the last 2 months lol

I have no idea who’s done this so imma tag people I mentioned above + @lan-xichens @theyilinglaozus @linglynz @susuwatari-kompeito @mylastbraincql @vishcount​ but totally feel free to ignore this