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#you could buy a spot at any university and just take whatever classes you want. you can fail them too. it doesnt matter
cryptidiopathic · 2 years
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Imagine having a billion with a b dollars and choosing to spend your time arguing on Twitter...
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Some writing thing I did
I started this in 2018 when I was first getting into Fully Charged, then I abandoned it. And now I’m revising it and attempting to finish it. I don’t finish any of my writings though, lolololol
“Mind explaining to me as to why I had to accompany you for picking out art supplies for Mr. Canson’s class? You’re the one who starts his class tomorrow, not me.”
Aki pouted and fidgeted in his spot, clutching the small collection of drawing pencils of various shapes, sizes, and colors in one hand and a slip of paper in the other. He made yet another nasally grunt, indicating his annoyance to the whole affair. Who still used paper to write a list, anyway? And what was the point of having all these different pencils if they all served the same purpose?
His elder sister resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her sibling’s inquiry, carefully studying the tiny text etched into the pencil’s side. Her eyes picked up a gold plated, “2B” and it joined the small collection in her other hand.
“Did you forget that you start his class tomorrow too?” she retorted with a swift glance at her brother. “You even start his class before me, so why are you complaining? You’ve got to pick out supplies too!”
Aki took a moment to think. He then scoffed with crossed arms, an instinctive gesture to Suna being right once again and his distaste to admit it. Then again, if his memory banks served him right when granted, Mr. Canson’s art class was indeed placed in his schedule. Sixth period for him, seventh period for Suna. He envied her, having a class as lax and easy-going as art being the closing class for the school day. He could only imagine how rewarding Fridays were with that kind of schedule. Taking about an hour and a half getting lost in some drawing he carefully crafted, already forgetting about the monotonous lectures from the previous periods, slowly feeling the stress of school life melt away with each swipe of the hand, and looking forward to whatever freedom the weekend had in store for him. A perfect way to end a week of school.
He attempted to retaliate. “Well, that still doesn’t explain why you had to drag me along! You wanted to nab your supplies all the way here on the far side of town instead of waiting after class to see if we really need everything on that list!”
His attention dived down onto the elegantly written letters on the page and then came back up in an instant. “Like this, ‘kneaded eraser’ thingie. We’ve already got a bunch of regular erasers at home, so we’re good, right?”
“And why can’t we just share supplies?”
Suna was off in her own little universe, subconsciously listening to her brother rant and rave about his expressive dislike of school supply shopping (or any shopping in general that didn’t align with his interests) while consciously inspecting the sides of all the pencils she touched. It annoyed her greatly when he went on and on about something important that needed to be taken care of. But at the same time, there was at least one thing her brother was snarling about that she could agree on.
This was last-minute. Very last-minute. One full page of specialized art supplies from brands she didn't recognize that was needed for a class starting the next day. She couldn’t say she was too surprised however, considering how chaotic the administration’s organization and planning had been recently. She was almost assigned Trigonometry for the second time when she should have been given Calculus!
“You can just buy everything we need on that list for class tomorrow and hand them to me,” Suna’s hearing picked up her brother’s monologue. “When my class is over and it’s your turn, you can just meet me by the classroom door and I’ll give the supplies to you. See, it all works out.” A trademark smirk carved its way through Aki’s lips, the same smirk he donned when he thought of an impromptu solution for whatever problem his sister threw at him.  
Suna pursed her lips, motioning for him to hand over the wrinkled list and slightly grimacing at the immortal creases on the formerly pristine surface. A crisp line slashed through the last remaining graphite-based item on the list, prompting a content bob of eggplant hair.
“Well,” her tongue clicked. “Think you can manage rushing from Mr. Canson’s studio on the west side of the school on the third floor, to Mrs. Waterhouse’s class on the opposite end of the school on the first floor? All within a five-minute window?”  
Now it was Suna’s turn to sneer. The infamous, “I know more than you do, so stop resisting and just admit that I am right,” kind of sneer that overruled Aki’s iconic, “I can make this whole thing work out, trust me,” sneer.  
Once again, Suna was right. The leisure time in between each period was brutal. You had enough time for one locker visit to frantically grab what you needed, have a short bathroom break, and be lucky enough to engage in small talk with one of your friends without being at least a couple minutes late. Rushing between classes on different floors and making triple sure he had all his materials was taxing on its own. There’s no way he’d be cool with all the extra running around every day, especially after lunch. Throwing up his hands in defeat and letting out an audible sigh, he surrendered for good.
“Dad gave us each the right amount of money to cover everything. Like you mentioned earlier we may not need everything, but I’m gonna play it safe so we don’t get any more surprises,” Suna included as she reached for a nearby basket to dump her findings inside. A brief moment of silence passed as her olive irises scanned the list before she passed it to her reluctant brother.
“Here, I’ve already memorized the rest of the items, so you can have the list back if you want. Because this is so last-minute and this store is far from home, I’m taking the liberty of grabbing everything while I’m here. Whether or not you’d like to wait until tomorrow when they go over the list and make a second trip all the way back here is your call.”
Aki took back the list in slight awe. “No wonder you’re so much better at tests than I am, you’ve got photographic memory.”
Her heels pivoted across the newly polished floor with a satisfied smile. “I’m going to get the rest of my supplies, shouldn’t take me long. Mini, I trust that you’ll keep my baby brother out of trouble?”
Aki swatted his sister’s hand away in embarrassment as she ruffled the thick chocolate locks of spiked synthetic hair.
“Hey! I do a great job at keeping the city out of trouble, I don’t need a babysitter!”
The tiny sentient robot that resided in Aki’s head crossed his legs and let out a small chuckle of amusement. Serving as Aki’s onboard repair unit and an external conscious drive with independent thought, Mega Mini became Aki’s first line of almost indiscriminate support who flaunted a rather rude and sarcastic sense of humor. What fun was having a best bud if you couldn’t tease them every once in a while?
“Don’t worry ya pretty lil’ head off, M’Lady. I’ll make sure ya itty bitty baby brother doesn’t hurt himself in this big, scary store,” Mini replied, puckering his lips and shifting the tone in his gruff voice.  
His remark rewarded him with a fading laugh from Suna and an annoyed grunt from Aki. “Hey, whose side are you on? You’re in my head, so you’re supposed to always agree with me!”
“Oh please. If I wasn’t programmed with a personality and had to do everything you say without question, we’d both be screwed,” Mini’s pixel eyes averted. "By the way, your penmanship's gettin' better."
Aki grumbled. It wasn’t like  all his ideas were bad or backfired at the worst of times. Mini made it sound like he wasn’t capable of doing anything on his own. The nerve!
“Are you saying that I can’t function without you? I’ll have you know that I was created before you were, Mini.” He took a finger to jab at his own temple. “I can take care of myself, thank you for asking. Don't you have, like, vacation days you need to use, or something?”
The tiny robot playfully rolled his eyes. “Ya sure about that, Chief? Didja forget about that tussle with Blasto Woman? How she knocked me clean out ya skull? Ya lucky I was able to save yer blue behind from hard crashin’.”
Aki swat both his arms dismissively, the crumpled paper in his grasp fluttering violently. “Aww, whatever. Have it your way, then. I guess I should get going and find all these stupid supplies before Suna finishes up. I’d never hear the end of it from her.”
His chocolate optics veered back down at the abused paper and scanned the remaining items. Brushes, one pack of brushes.
“One pack of brushes,” Aki read. “That shouldn’t be so hard.”
Mini continued to tease. “Hmm, ya sure ‘bout that, Chief? Didja see all them different pencils ya sister picked out? Are ya gonna be able to tell which one is which?”
“Oh shut it, you mini migraine,” the robo-boy grumbled. “They’re brushes! And they’re already in a pack, so it can’t be too hard, right?”
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silverynight · 2 years
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i have only two words: kissing booth. could be either tanjirou or izuku but in whatever universe this happens it would be an absolute mess lmao
The line for Midoriya's kissing booth is HUGE. At first Midoriya thinks there's a mistake but everyone makes it clear that they're there for the kisses (specifically from the cute green haired boy). Todoroki is the first in line (he had to fight all class A for that spot) and then he just hands a bunch of money towards Midoriya.
"No, Todoroki! A kiss doesn't cost that much." Midoriya chuckles before trying to give most of that money back to the other boy, who refuses to take it. "You can buy at least twenty kisses with that!"
But Todoroki just stares back at him and for the first time Midoriya finally realizes something before someone explains it to him because he turns completely red.
However, Todoroki needs to make sure he gets it so he says:
"I want twenty kisses."
Class A is already yelling behind him that "It's not fair!" Bakugo is ready to murder Todoroki and Uraraka is sobbing in the background because she doesn't have any money.
A student rushes in Aizawa's office but before they speak the teacher gets out of his comfortable sleeping bag, ready to give detention to his horny students.
"Let me guess... they're fighting in front of the kissing booth, aren't they?"
He doesn't even wait for the student to confirm it.
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jkstompers · 4 years
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passing notes | jjk
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pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader
summary: a year of crushing and jungkook’s finally asked you out on a proper date. 
genre: classmates to lovers??!, established friendship, they go on a date <3, jk is so stressed out, !fancy restaurant warning!, jk is A GENTLEMAN!! but wbk, oc is a nerd but is BOLD AF!!
warnings: mature!! (18+!!), SMUT,...they make out, LOTS of built up tension is let out tonite!, fingering, praise kink, handjob, backseat action, semi-public sex?? very strong language, jk overuses the nickname ‘baby’
word count: 9k
author’s note: pt. 3 of seatmate!jk. WE’VE GOT SOME FILTH TODAY PPL!!!!!!! this is my first time releasing a piece of writing that has smut in it so pls!! let me know what u think!!! i’m open to criticism but i cry easily so… pls pls be nice (T▽T) LMAO!! i also completely made up the program for ocean scientists that oc talks about LMAO i just needed her to ramble for a bit hahahah
additional note: also pls imagine jungkook looking like this in class and then wearing this for their date. also if ur curious, this is what i imagined oc’s dress to look like :)
okay enjoy!! thank u ( ˘ ³˘)
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it was the end of the semester and of course, the only time jungkook would be running late to class was when he was finally going to ask you out on a date. so far, everything seems to be going against the idea. his alarm didn’t go off on time, the shower took way too long to warm up, and his car was low on gas. now he’s speed walking, almost running, to lecture to make sure that his seat next to you isn’t taken. 
he wants to make sure this goes perfectly. he spent the past two weeks stressing over the plans. asking for recommendations for nice restaurants in the city in almost every group chat he was in. his friend (the one with parents as ceo’s, eunwoo), helped him and got him a reservation at this one five star restaurant that jungkook’s never been to. eunwoo told him that it was the prettiest place he’s ever been to, said it would be perfect for a first date. 
jungkook specifically remembers you telling him that you’ve never gone on an actual dinner date. ice cream dates, movie theater dates, and amusement park dates were what you were used to. there was nothing wrong with that, it’s just that you’ve never experienced a candlelit dinner at a restaurant, that’s it. jungkook just wanted to be the first one to experience it with you. 
so when his morning starts off this shitty, he wonders if his plans are falling apart. he tries to keep a good, positive mindset, but he’s already so nervous and the universe seems to be telling him: don’t do it, she’ll reject you, you’re gonna look stupid in front of her. 
meanwhile, you’re early this lecture. it was the last class of the semester and you were hoping that you could get a nice conversation with jungkook in before it started. the two of you have gotten a lot closer since you last hung out. the chain of events starting with you apologizing for being so embarrassing, 
[12:44 pm] you: jungkook!!! oh my god i am so sorry for last night 😭
[12:45 pm] you: i don’t take alcohol very well 😖
[12:50 pm] jungkook: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
[12:50 pm] jungkook: no need to apologize! are u feeling sick? hungover? 
[12:52 pm] you: omg no not really
[12:52 pm] you: ur a great drinking buddy, i owe u one 🥺
[12:53 pm] jungkook: it’s alright cutie
[12:54 pm] jungkook: just happy ur feeling okay :) 
[12:56 pm] you: let me make it up to u 😭 i’ll buy us lunch one of these days? 
[12:57 pm] jungkook: ah no can do cutie 
[12:57 pm] jungkook: have to buy u dinner first 
the thought of the conversation makes you smile. that one conversation starting the domino effect of the two of you talking almost everyday for the past two weeks. you couldn’t help but expect jungkook to at least be here, but if he didn’t wanna come, then he didn’t have to. 
you sat in your seat, patiently waiting for the one next to you to be filled by him. the hall was starting to fill now and class was about to start. you look around one last time to see that jungkook is still nowhere to be seen, and that a familiar brown-haired guy was beginning to walk up to you. 
“hello, ___! is this seat taken?” taehyung smiles brightly, you look down at the seat next to you. your bag saving the spot for jungkook. maybe he skipped this lecture, since it was practically for nothing anyway, you’ve already taken the final and there was no other material to learn, it was more so to wrap things up and see if anyone still needed to understand something. 
your brain comes to a conclusion. you remove your bag and say, “no, go ahead,” to taehyung with a small smile on your face, one that hides the disappointment riddling your mind. 
it’s about five minutes after the professor starts talking when jungkook finally walks in. he looks up to try and find you as he walks up the steps of the auditorium. his eyes land on you and taehyung, chatting amongst yourselves. he can’t help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy, that’s his seat. even though there were no assigned seats, the place next to you was always his, that’s just how it was, and seeing someone else sitting there, especially taehyung, makes jungkook’s green monster pop out. 
you feel a presence step behind you while you were talking to taehyung, and before you know it, jungkook is sitting in the seat next to taehyung. “oh! good morning, jungkook!” you’re smiling to him. he doesn’t grant you one of his regular vocal responses, rather he gives you a tight-lipped grin before he leans back into his chair and focuses on whatever the professor was saying. 
maybe he was jealous. witnessing you and taehyung having a wonderful conversation, one that makes you smile and laugh like he does. you didn’t even notice him when he came up the stairs, only greeting him when he sat down. no, he was definitely jealous. 
you’re stealing glances his way, pretending to be interested in whatever taehyung is talking about. he’s wearing the most boyfriend-est outfit in the world. a white long sleeve with grey sweatpants, his long hair tied up in a ponytail. you’re unconsciously biting your lip as you stare at him, he’s just so cool. he’s not even doing much other than looking straight forward. but this angle lets you see his sharp jawline and his side profile perfectly. 
you felt bad, one hundred percent. you should have told taehyung that the seat was taken, because now he was talking your ear off and you didn’t mind it, but you wanted someone else to be talking your ear off and it was the guy sitting next to him. 
when taehyung changes his focus to your professor talking about a summer he had in paris. you steal another glance at jungkook. you catch him staring at you, your eyes meet. he doesn’t keep the connection, cutting it off by moving his head and looking straight ahead. his jaw clenches, arms coming over and across his chest. he seems angry, you pick up on the energy now. an idea pops in your head to try and make him feel better. reaching into your bag to find one of your index cards, writing a message on it. 
feeling okay? 
you scoot your chair back a bit, pretending to stretch as you tap jungkook’s shoulder. he turns his head to you, eyebrows raised. you hand him the paper. he stares at first, eyes flickering between you and the paper. reluctantly, he takes it, unfolding his crossed arms to receive the note. you scoot back into your seat and lean into the table, lowering your chin onto the desk. 
jungkook tries to hide his smile as he reads your little note. how could he ever stay mad at you? it wasn’t your fault he was late. so he replies, his black ink has a stark contrast against your green highlighter. he can already feel his bad mood brightening. 
yeah, didn’t save me a seat? :( 
this time he folds the note, handing it to taehyung and telling him to pass it to you. “really? you’re passing notes? we’re in college, jeon.” taehyung snickers as he slides the paper towards you. 
you let a small laugh, reading the note. taehyung’s scolding continues as you write your response on the index card. you changed your green highlighter out with a blue pen. 
i came super early :( waited 20 mins for u </3 but i didn’t think u were coming so i let taehyung sit here 
you send it back and watch jungkook’s somewhat straight face contort into a smile. there it is, the smile that you know and love. 
jungkook on the other hand could cry. you came early. you waited for him. god, had he royally fucked this up. he makes his mind up now. 
i’m sorry :( let me make it up to u? can i take you out on a date tonight? 
check: ◯  yes ◯ no 
jungkook keeps the paper for a good minute, reading the note over and over again, thinking about how childish this way of asking is. but at the same time, jungkook knows that if he talks to you about it after class, he’ll gloss over the words and never ask you. letting the reservation and plans he made weeks ago render themselves useless. it was now or never. 
so he fully sends it, tapping your shoulder and giving it to you directly. you open the note and scan the words, sending him the sweetest look he’s ever received in his life. he thinks that would be a yes. he hopes. you write something onto the card and pass it back to him, your hand grazing his for a second. 
⚫ yes :) ♡ ◯ no 
the rest of the class passes pretty quickly. not that you were paying any attention. jungkook had emailed you a link to a game that the two of you could play, a weird version of snakes. jungkook kept cheating, you swore it, but in all honesty, you knew you couldn’t compete when it came to jungkook and his computer games. a clap from the professor breaks your attention from your screen, “alright, that was the last class of anatomy 101!” he then goes on a two minute long speech thanking the entire class for their great work this past year. he ends his ment with, “good luck and make good decisions! have a fun summer!” 
you take your time packing your things, a little too long for someone that just has a laptop to put into their bag. taehyung says goodbye to the both of you and leaves first, the seat in between you both empty. now it was just the two of you. a small blush creeps onto your cheeks. you were well past your high school crush phase, but jungkook makes you feel so shy again. 
you try to hide it by speaking first, “so, a date?” 
he sends you that award winning smile that makes you swoon. “yeah, did you change your mind?” 
you shake your head. “is it casual? fancy? want me to wear a dress again?” you tease, finally pushing your computer into your bag and standing. 
jungkook gulps. you looked so pretty that night in a dress. “fancy,” he answers, “you can wear a dress if you want, pantsuits are cool too— whatever you want.” he finishes packing as well, standing next to you as you both begin to walk down the stairs. 
“okay then,” you smile. “what time should i be ready?” 
“i’ll come and pick you up at seven, is that okay?” he replies, hand in his pockets. you both make your way out of the room and start to move towards the parking lot. 
“sounds good,” you nod, approaching your car. jungkook walks you to your door, his eyes focused on your sweet smile and your eyes. if jungkook didn’t know any better, he would have thought you were leaning closer towards him. a small laugh leaves your throat. “see you later, kookie.” 
he sends you a smile, the nickname tugging at his heartstrings. the realization hits him after you’ve already driven away and he’s sitting in the driver seat of his car. an embarrassing blush covers his face, he takes a deep breath and laughs to himself. finally. a year of crushing and he’s finally asked you on a proper date. 
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jungkook is quite frankly, freaking the fuck out. he isn’t sure what to wear and his hair isn’t working with him. the long strands seemingly out to make his life a living hell when he tries to style it. one strand always looks out of place, or the way that it parts doesn’t sit right. he’s pacing his bathroom, debating if he should just shower again and take all the stupid fucking product out of his hair. 
he gives in after ten minutes of deliberation. a quick shower removing all the wax and gel from his hair. the ends of his hair dripping when he goes to check his phone, the time reading: 6:45. he was gonna be late to pick you up. now he’s full on panicking. he has no other choice then to skip the hair product all together and just let his hair dry and part on it’s own. he slides on his all black fancy outfit he had planned out just in case the first one didn’t work out. he steps out of his apartment after grabbing his car keys, wallet, and the flowers he bought earlier in the day for you. 
a friend of his works in a flower shop. jungkook remembers you saying  that you like all flowers and that you couldn’t choose if you had to. so his friend asked what you were like, trying to figure out a way to style the bouquet without knowing your favorites. jungkook said the general things; you’re sweet like an apple, probably sweeter, like candy. you’re so pretty, it’s blessing that he’s able to lay his eyes upon you. you’re smart, too smart for him to flirt stupidly like he always does, ‘cause you outsmart him and flirt with him back in a wittier way. you’re— that was enough information, his friend told him he was babbling again. jungkook only had to wait ten minutes for his friend to finish fixing up a beautiful bouquet for you. 
the bouquet is placed on the passenger seat as he starts his car, texting you when he realizes it’s almost five minutes until 7. 
[6:54 pm] jungkook: fuck 
[6:54 pm] jungkook: i’m gonna be a little late
[6:55 pm] jungkook: i swear i’m not standing u up
[6:55 pm] jungkook: ok i’m putting my phone down to drive to u now, sorry cutie!! 
[6:57 pm] you: ah okay! 
[6:57 pm] you: i was getting a little worried haha
[6:58 pm] you: see u in a bit <3
jungkook drives safely, but efficiently to your apartment. the drive only taking about five minutes because the stop lights were gracing him with green lights his entire way to you. he parks right in front, grabbing the flowers and hopping out of the car. when he knocks on your door, he starts to feel his nerves work against him. the adrenaline from rushing here gave him enough energy to hype himself up, but now as he’s standing here at your door, waiting for you to answer, his throat starts to dry and his hands start to sweat. 
the metal door slides open, revealing you. in your silk dress, draping over your body in the most flattering way. the neckline deliciously hangs down to reveal your cleavage ever so slightly and the slit on the dress, displaying your thigh teasingly. jungkook is speechless at his first glance at you. his eyebrows raise and his mouth drops open, catching himself drooling once you step out from your apartment. 
“h— hi, you look— wow,” he stumbles over his words, taking a step back to admire you once again. “you’re fucking stunning.”  
you brush your hair back behind your ear, your hand covering the blush covering your cheeks. “thank you, you look very handsome, jungkook.” you reach out and play with his black tie. he looks down when you do, remembering that he was holding a bouquet of flowers for you. 
he holds them out, “these are for you.” like a kid giving his crush a dandelion he picked from the grass. 
“these are gorgeous, jungkook! thank you.” you look up to him with your signature sweet eyes, the ones that never fail to make him melt. “just give me one sec, i’ll put these down and then we can go?” you ask, holding onto the bouquet and waiting for him to respond. a quick nod is all you need to open your door and place them in the fridge. you come out a few seconds later, locking your door and standing by jungkook again. 
“that was fast,” he comments. he holds his arm out for you to hold, which you gratefully take. 
“i just put them in the fridge, my grandma showed me the trick, it helps them live a little longer,” you explain. the two of you walking out to his parked car. he never lets your hand touch the handle, always opening the door for you. 
“when they die, i’ll just buy you new ones.” closing the door for you and making his way to the drivers seat. 
you scrunch your nose. when he comes back and joins you in the car, you voice your worry. “it’s kind of a waste, don’t you think?” 
he shakes his head, “if it’s for you, nothing’s a waste.” 
jungkook was a professional with his words. always rendering you speechless. 
with that he starts the car and begins driving into the busier part of seoul. he makes his way into the restaurants parking garage, the building looks to be about five stories. the architecture itself looks expensive, you wonder where jungkook is taking you tonight. he parks the car, turning off the engine, and moving to open the door for you. he takes your hand and you hold onto your dress, fixing it once you get out of the car. god, you’re so pretty. he was so nervous. 
“ready, my lady?” he smiles, his arm out for you to hold. 
it makes you laugh, a snort almost. “i’ve never seen you so proper, mr. jeon.” 
“only for you,” he winks. your heels click against the concrete floor as he leads the two of you into the building. the high ceilings and multiple chandeliers are what greet you first, the brightness of the place giving the sun something to rival. jungkook brings you over to the waiting area, telling you to wait for a minute as he checks you guys in. 
this was crazy to say the least. the last time you went on a date, it was to the movie theaters. you’ve never been in a place like this; a doorman greeting every guest as they walk in, checking in to eat, multi-story, etc. the more you look around, the cooler it is. “let’s go?” jungkook’s voice makes you turn your head. you stand, taking his hand. 
the two of you follow a man wearing a black and white suit, with a long tail jacket. he brings you to the elevators, holding the doors open for you both. you step in and he presses the fifth button, which was the top floor. you squeeze jungkook’s hand. he repeats the action, looking to you and silently asking if you were okay with the look in his eyes and the raise of his eyebrows. you nod, a smile on your face. 
with that the elevator doors open, the metal doors sliding apart to reveal a private terrace. only a couple tables on the entire floor. a few people sitting down and enjoying their dinners. beautiful greenery surrounding the perimeter, the night sky only making it prettier. your mouth is left agape, you’re stuck in the elevator, speechless. jungkook gently tugs you forward, following the suit man to the table. 
jungkook pulls your chair out for you. you could cry at the chivalry. you sit and he pushes the chair in, jungkook follows soon, sitting in the chair across from you. the man hands the two of you the menu and moves away from the table, standing back near to the elevator, waiting until you are both ready to order. 
“this is fucking crazy,” you whisper-shout. the terrace was lit by these bright fairy lights that were hidden in the plants and were above the tables as well. it looked like little fairies and fire flies were in the air, roaming around. 
“i know right!” jungkook looked as surprised as you were. “i asked my friends for some help and holy shit!” 
“they know you’re on a date with me right now?” you ask, raising your eyebrows. 
to this he furrows his eyebrows, “of course they do, i talk about you all the time—”but he stops himself from exposing himself any further. you can’t help but giggle. “i mean, i asked them to help me make this special, and here we are.” 
you swoon. he’s so sweet for planning all of this out and wanting to make you feel special. the two of you look through the menu, jungkook warns you not to look at the prices, telling you to get whatever you want because the price doesn’t matter. but of course, your eyes stray to the numbers, the meals costing a pretty penny for a simple spaghetti plate, the cheapest thing on there. you were craving pasta anyway, you didn’t mind. the two of you order and wait for the food to arrive. 
the city of seoul was just below you, not too high but high enough to turn people into smaller figures of themselves. the night lights look gorgeous from up here. the warm summer night only complimenting the gorgeous atmosphere. 
“the view is so pretty,” you gaze out into the city. the pretty colors from all the lights of the different stores and restaurants complementing each other so beautifully. 
jungkook was in awe, he knows that the city below you is gorgeous, but he can’t seem to get his eyes off of you. your chin resting in the palm of your hand as your eyes search through the streets. “yeah…” he agrees, “very beautiful.” he smiles, only looking at you. 
the food comes and you both dig in. the two of you enjoy some conversation with each other as you eat. the topic of growing up comes up, both of you explaining the occupations you wanted, and you said something that sparked curiosity in jungkook. “your childhood dream was to live in california?” he smiles, chewing on his steak. most of the time kids dream about going to the moon or finding atlantis, but you wanted to go to america? 
you nod, “sounds funny right? when i was a teen, i watched a lot of 90210.” 
“is that all though? you only wanted to go because of a tv show?” he asks. there’s something you’re hiding, and jungkook can see it in the way that you hide your smile. 
at first, you hesitate, but you open your mouth to speak, “well— there is— no, it’s embarrassing.” you shake your head, changing your mind and reverting your eyes down. staring at the plate of pasta in front of you. guys you talked to didn’t wanna hear about it, they thought what you were into was boring, embarrassing almost. a part of you feared that jungkook would feel the same. 
you feel his hand on your chin, tilting your head up. “i wanna hear about it.” his face telling you the truth, the sincerity in his eyes as he patiently waits for you to explain. 
“there’s this science program in california, they explore new ideas for researching the ocean, like trying to see what lurks in the deep blue, helping fix the rising oceans, everything-- oh my god, and they like go on field trips to different countries to see the coastlines and historical sites—” you cut yourself off when you realize that you’re talking at the speed of light. “i’m rambling.” you were terrified to see his reaction. 
but when your eyes finally meet jungkook’s, they’re full of light. and his smile is so big. “dude, that’s so dope!” he grins, “i didn’t know you were so into the ocean!” 
it was the bare minimum, being nice, but that was hard to find when it came to the majority of the male species. obviously, jungkook is above average, he only proves that the more time you spend with him. 
“oh, i love it! my parents would bring me to the beach and i would cry every time we would have to leave, aquariums too, and the fish section in the pet stores.” you gush, leaning into the table to tell jungkook more. he leans into his hand, resting his cheek against his fist as he listens to you spill your knowledge and love. 
he notes that the next date should be at the beach or an aquarium. it was a great time for him to learn this, especially since it was summer. the weather in favor of the cold ocean waves. jungkook swears he can listen to you talk until the end of time. your sweet voice can be the narration to his life, he’d never get sick of it. 
the food on both of your plates had been cleared, the conversation sizzling into a comfortable silence before the man came back to give you the bill. jungkook doesn’t let you see it, instead just sticking his card in the black folder thing, and giving it back to the fancy suit man. it wasn’t long before he came back, handing jungkook back his card and giving the both of you a lollipop with gold flakes encased inside. 
you gasp at the piece of candy, now that was ridiculous. you weren’t one to reject a lollipop though, gratefully taking the candy and popping it into your mouth. jungkook does the same. it tastes of blueberry. at this point he stands up, moving in front of you and holding his hand out to you. “let’s look around? i heard they have a cool museum on the second floor.” 
you take his hand, “i love museums!” the two of you make your way to the elevator, the man (he never told you his name) kept the door open for you both. he presses the second floor button when jungkook asks him for the museum. the elevator landing on the second floor, the doors slide open to show a completely empty art hall. this place shocking you every chance it gets. you didn’t think it could get better, but it did. 
when the two of you exit the elevator, the man leaves you to it, taking the elevator down and leaving you alone. your eyes scan the place, huge paintings on the walls, small paintings in collages, some sculptures on the floor, it felt like a pop-up museum. you both make your way down the enormous hallway, both sides of the room’s wall displaying works of art. you stop at one specific painting, the familiar work has you spewing random facts. “these are the lovers! i had to analyze this once,” you speak. the art displaying a couple kissing, both of their heads covered by a white sheet. “the real one is in australia, i think.” you laugh, tapping the lollipop against your lips. 
jungkook listens intently, but he doesn’t pay attention to the painting on the wall. everytime he does, his eyes always revert to you. the art doesn’t stand a chance against you in his book. you, yourself, were a piece of art, one that was rare in this world, one of a kind. 
he can’t seem to resist. taking your hand and raising it over your head, the way that they do in ballroom dancing. if a twirl was what he wanted, then so he got it. “beautiful,” he compliments, pulling you in close for a hug. the two of you swaying in the middle of the hall of this stupidly expensive restaurant. 
you look up to him, making full eye contact as the two of you lean on one foot to the other. probably looking like a lovesick couple, getting lost in the moment. which, you were. your eyes flicker from his eyes down to his lips, he seems to do the same thing. his hand moves to caress your face, the swaying ceased. now the two of you are centimeters apart, noses brushing against each other. if jungkook doesn’t kiss you now, he thinks he’ll combust. so when he feels you pushing forward, he does the same, meeting you in the middle. your lips connect. the kiss almost identical to the painting in front of you. 
jungkook swears he felt himself levitating. your lips are sweet, the blueberry flavor of the lollipop lingering on them. he’s had his fair share of kisses in his life. makeouts, pecks, cheek kisses, all types of kisses. but something about this one tells him that he’s in for it. he’ll never be able to get enough now that he’s gotten a taste. 
neither of you want to take it too far; swallowing each other's faces in a distinguished, five star restaurant’s museum didn’t seem very proper. so the two of you make your way out of the building, thanking everyone at the front desk, especially the man that helped you out today, and walking into the parking garage where jungkook’s car was. 
when you get to his car, he moves to open the passenger door for you but you stop him with a hand on his arm. you reach to open the back door handle and his eyes almost bulge out. everyone knows what happens in the backseat, and jungkook did not prepare himself for something like this. 
you look up at him with the most innocent eyes, but there’s something devious hidden in your smile when you ask, “do you wanna talk for a bit longer? in the backseat? it’s more comfortable than sitting in the front.” 
jungkook never took you for someone this bold. it’s either you didn’t know the meaning of the backseat (which was totally fine) or you knew very well, and had plans to devour jungkook (which was also totally fine).
he chickens out, his hands starting to sweat. “do you want to just go for a little walk or something?” it’s not like jungkook didn’t want anything to happen, it’s that he did. if he starts, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever recover from it. he walks a tightrope around you when it comes to his self control. one wrong move, and he’s terrified that he’ll fuck everything up. 
“oh, it’s just my feet kinda hurt from these heels.” you pout, lifting you foot up to show him the almost stiletto heel. 
his eyes widen. why didn’t he think of that? “oh— oh shit, i didn’t even— yeah, let’s sit.” he tugs on the door, letting you slide into the back seat. he follows, leaving a good amount of space between you both to make sure that there was nothing too suspicious going on. you hope your bold moves hide your nervousness, despite your confidence, jungkook’s unsure looks make you want to curl up into a ball. did he not want this? 
the air was different now. in the restaurant the two of you had been so carefree, slow dancing in the museum, and landing a sweet kiss on each other’s lips. but now, an uncomfortable silence tears at the two of you. your hesitance makes you speak, trying to see if a conversation would ease the tension in the air. “i had a lot of fun tonight, kookie, thank you.” 
it seems to comfort jungkook, he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. with a small smile on his face he replies, “me too, i was really nervous you wouldn’t like the food.” 
“oh it was good! i’ll eat anything really, it’s just—“
“you didn’t like the place? was it too much—“
“no, jungkook, oh my god— i loved it, it was just really expensive, i still feel really bad about you paying for all of it,” you look to him seriously. “let me give you at least my half?” 
he shakes his head, “i asked you out on this date, it means i pay, don’t worry about the price.” 
you roll your eyes playfully, “big spender huh?”
a pretty laugh escapes his lips. “hard worker too.” 
to this you smile, you stare at his impossibly-perfect face, noticing a stray eyelash on his cheek. you see a chance to strike and you take it immediately. you lean forward to swipe it off. jungkook almost leans into your touch. he’s so terrified that he’ll embarrass himself right now, so he’s been holding back tremendously. but the way you pick the eyelash off and place it on your thumb with a smile on your face, it eases most of the tension in his chest. 
“make a wish!” you hold your thumb up to his lips. his eyes cross to look at the piece of hair on your finger, but nevertheless he obliged. shutting his eyes tight, making a wish, and blowing the eyelash off of your thumb. 
you let out a small cheer before you ask him, “what’d you wish for?” 
“if i told you then my wish wouldn’t come true, right?” he boops your nose. suddenly, jungkook doesn’t feel so nervous. his nerves calming at the feeling of your soft hands against his face. you make him so nervous, but at the same time you make him so comfortable and make him want to be himself. it seems as though the two of you were staring at each other for a while. jungkook was thinking about how much he likes you, the same ideas run through your mind. the thoughts make you wish for something more. 
“can i kiss you again, kookie?” 
he stares at you, weighing his options. if he kisses you now, then he has to strategically only give you a few kisses, he absolutely cannot make out with you, or else, jungkook will succumb to his desires.
but he takes a little too long to respond. the both of you overthinking the fuck out of the situation. it makes you draw back. “it’s okay if you don’t want—“ 
“no, no, please, kiss me,” he brings you back, moving closer to you. licking his lips in anticipation as you slowly push forward, closing the gap between you both. the kiss is so sweet, like the one in the museum. jungkook can still taste the blueberry lingering on your lips. he doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of kissing you. 
you pull away first. your eyes scanning his face to see any expression of regret. there’s none. his hand moves to the side of your face, caressing your face and bringing you to him once again to meet your lips. he can’t get enough. “tell me what you wished for, please,” you speak against his lips. 
he smiles into the kiss. he wasn’t going to tell you, but since you were asking so nicely, he gives you a kiss on the cheek when he answers, “i wished for a second date.” 
“oh, didn’t you know?” you kiss both of his cheeks before speaking again, “i grant wishes,” with wink.
“fuck, you’re so cute,” he thinks out loud, it makes you blush. pink cheeks out for show and jungkook thinks you look even cuter. he dives in for one more kiss, telling himself this will be the last one, but when you make sweet noises against his lips, it has him wanting more. hands moving down to your waist, pulling you in and letting you climb onto his lap. he pulls away first, trying to get a hold of himself. “i uh— actually, didn’t plan for this to happen,“ he mumbles against your skin, tripping over his words. 
you look down, arms wrapped around his neck. “hm? what did you plan?” 
“we were supposed to kiss on the next date i take you on and i didn’t think— we’re just ahead of schedule, that’s all.” jungkook tries to explain that he didn’t want to rush it, god no. he wanted to take his time, make sure that you didn’t feel pressured to do anything. but now, it seems like you’re taking the wheel and jungkook doesn’t mind it one bit.
“oh so you had like a real plan? like times and everything?” the thought of it makes you laugh, and the way that jungkook flushes makes you want to pinch his cheeks. 
he pouts when you giggle, “don’t laugh, i just really, really wanted to do it right, you’re just so amazing and i didn’t wanna fuck it up.”
you smile at his concern. the fact that you have the uni heartthrob planning dates in his head down to the details and wanting to be sure he does it right makes your head spin. you hope jungkook doesn’t notice the way that your heart is beating three times the normal rate when you go to kiss him again. the only sounds in the car are labored breaths and your lips smacking together. it doesn’t take long before you’re grinding into him. his growing bulge rubbing against your soaking core. a groan leaving him when you grind particularly harder, his hands moving to your ass to grip it. you melt in his arms, small whimpers leaving your throat as jungkook drinks them up
you pull away from his lips, giving his cheeks attention then leaving a trail of kisses as you make your way to his ear. one final kiss is planted below his earlobe before you whisper, “am i ruining your plans, kookie?” 
jungkook tries his best to conceal his groan, tries his best to ignore his incredibly hard dick in his jeans, but you’re so pretty and you’re on top of him, kissing him. it feels like a dream to jungkook. it is quite literally a dream come true. 
he was already playing with fire, your body a flame in the cold, he moves closer and closer until he burns. “fuck plans,” he breathes. a hand comes back to caress your face once again. filthy thoughts flooding his brain. he wonders what being in between your legs is like, what you sound like when you cum. he wants to make you cry and beg for his cock. but he holds himself back, knowing that you’ll have time to try everything out, if you wanted of course. he leans the both of you forward, his large hands splayed on your back to secure you on his lap. your lips find each other once more. “can i touch you?” he asks so sweetly, a hidden poison weaving through that you can slightly hear through the deep rumble of his voice. 
you’ve never wanted anything more. “please,” you nod. your lips chasing his when he pulls further away. 
jungkook smiles at the action. “lay on my lap, baby.” he instructs, tapping your thigh. the nickname rolling off his tongue, his voice seemingly dropping an entire octave. you raise your leg and move it over to sit on his lap, sideways. your back against the car door and his right hand rubbing your thighs ever so gently. 
“like this?” you ask, looking to him for reassurance. he looks to you with eyes that you’ve never seen, lusted and dark. 
“mhm, perfect,” he nods. “good girl.” the praise goes straight to your belly, your panties flooding from how much you want him. his hands move slowly down your inner thighs as he goes in to kiss you again. 
you’re absentmindedly spreading your legs, making room for him. he smirks against your lips when he realizes. he knows what you want, so his fingers move to your panties, lightly putting pressure over your clothed bud. you whimper at the feeling, biting his lip in the process. he moans in response, putting a little more pressure against your bundle of nerves. 
“jungkook,” you whine, pulling away from his lips, “please.” 
“please what, baby?” he kisses your cheek, “tell me what you want.”  
“please touch me, please.” you beg, making eye contact with him. jungkook’s dick twitches at the sound of your begging. he wanted to string you along a little longer, but you’re being so good. 
“since you asked so nicely, baby,” he obliges. bunching your dress up around your waist and noticing the pretty black lace underwear you were wearing, “for me?” he asks. you nod, your teeth taking in your bottom lip. he groans at the thought, you getting ready and picking out these cute, risque panties out just for him. it’s just too bad they’re gonna be on the floor on his car. he’s gonna need to ask for a rain check on admiring you and your cute underwear later.  
you lift your hips to help him, underwear coming off to reveal your soaking pussy. “oh, fuck,” jungkook murmurs at the sight of it. “you’re so wet baby.” he almost starts drooling, he can’t wait to taste you, but he’s still hesitant, only wanting to do what you want to. next time, he can eat you out. right now, he’ll admire the delicious sight and make you cum on his fingers. 
your eyes travel to the window directly in front of you, suddenly feeling insecure. thighs closing, thinking about how someone could look in and see. “what about the windows—“ 
“they’re tinted, no one can see from the outside in, i promise.” he reassures, giving you another sweet kiss on the cheek before asking, “do you still want to do this? we can stop now.” he’s so lovely, his concern and change in demeanor only making you want it more, knowing that he wouldn’t want to push you to do something you were uncomfortable with. sweet was sexy on jungkook. you never thought there would be a day that jeon jungkook fingers you in a parking lot of a five star restaurant, but here you are. and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 
so you shake your head, taking his hand, and placing it back in between your legs. “please.” 
“anything for you.” he whispers in your ear before running his middle finger up your slit, collecting your wetness, and spreading it around your clit. he continues making tight circles on your clit, the sensation drives you crazy. you lean your head back against the window, moaning out. it was almost humiliating how reactive you were, you hadn’t indulged in this kind of intimacy in a while, almost a year to be specific. 
it wasn’t helping that jungkook was a fucking pro. the right amount of pressure and the placement of his digits against you has you dripping onto his nice, dress pants. you hoped nobody else was in the parking garage, else they would hear your cries of jungkook’s name. “more, kookie, more— fuck.” 
“more baby?” he questions, the sound of your moans going straight to his already hard dick. he thinks he could cum just to the sound of your voice. he’s one hundred percent fucked when it comes to you. he dips his middle finger into your hole, you gasp in reaction. “like that? hmm? ” 
jungkook knew was he was doing, he had you spread wide in the backseat of his car, already on the verge on an orgasm. he had a few years of experience on his belt, a ‘retired fuck boy’ he was, but he’s never wanted to please somebody more than he does right now with you. you just looked so pretty like this, so eager and begging for more. 
he adds his ring finger now, his thumb against your clit. “oh, god—“ you mutter, the feeling of his fingers and his thumb on your clit is too good. his fingers fucking you better than anyone else’s dick ever has. you found yourself bucking your hips against his fingers. “kookie, kiss me, please,” you look up to him with the eyes he can never fucking deny. so he kisses you, drinking up your moans as you fuck yourself up onto his fingers. 
“i didn’t know you were such a dirty girl,” he murmurs against your lips. your walls clenching around him, “letting me touch you like this in the backseat of my car?” his usual sweet demeanor now contorting into this cocky guy with an ego. it makes you even wetter. the squelch of your pussy every time his fingers push in is loud, the sound is music to jungkook’s ears. 
“only— only for you, jungkook,” you whimper.  you feel a familiar knot in your stomach tighten. he looked so hot like this. eager to please. his bottom lip caught in his teeth and a strand of his long hair dangling in front of his eyes. 
“good girl, all mine,” he kisses your neck. it may seem just like something you say during sex, but jungkook wanted it to be true. wanted you and only you. all to himself. he makes his way to a sweet spot, the feeling makes you tilt your head, giving him more access to kiss and suck along the sensitive skin. the discomfort of your back against the hard door was the last of your worries. your orgasm creeping closer and closer, juices leaking all overs his fingers. “so wet baby,” he growls, “i know i could just slide in, fuck you so good.” 
“p-please, i want it.” the thought of jungkook fucking you senseless, oh, you’d go crazy. begging wasn’t something you did when it came to sex, most of the time it was quiet, moans and breaths were the only things that you’d hear, no dirty words or praises. it was a good change, you never thought that you’d be so into being talked through it. 
he smiles at your eagerness, “patience baby, gotta take you on another date, yeah?” kissing your pursed lips. always so sweet and lovely. 
you feel his fingers push a little deeper, curling to find that sweet spot inside of you. your reaction does something to him, makes him hit the exact same spot, over and over again, in a slow, torturous beat just so he can draw those delicious gasps and moans out of you. jungkook feels close. he’s never felt like this before, so wound up. he ignores it, pushing it to the back of his head to focus on helping you reach your climax. 
lucky for jungkook, he didn’t have to wait very long. his fingers were longer and a thicker than yours, his efforts making you get there faster than you ever could. the consistent deep strokes of his fingers make the warning signals go off in your head. you speak a verbal warning before, “fuck, i’m gonna cum,” your voice pitches a little higher than usual. 
“gonna cum all over my fingers, baby?” he gives you one last sloppy kiss before you’re moaning out and coming onto his fingers, eyes screwed shut as your walls convulse rapidly as his fingers fuck you through your orgasm. “fuck, you’re so hot, ___.” 
you feel a smile break on your face. “you’re not so bad yourself,” you wink, still trying to catch your breath. a laugh slips from his mouth, small smirk on his mouth to match. he slips his fingers out, your body twitching at the over stimulation. 
 “i’m sorry, baby,” he apologizes. inspecting his fingers, your pale almost-white cum coating the digits. he brings them to his mouth, sucking on your sweet sap. you’ve never seen anything hotter in your life. “sweet, just like you,” he smirks. you shrink in his stare, hiding your blush. like you totally didn’t just cum on his fingers. 
you’re distracted by the feeling of something hard resting under your thigh, it’s then that you realize, “what about—“ you start but jungkook cuts you off quick. 
“no, no, it’s okay, it’ll go away soon.” he shakes his head, but you furrow your eyebrows. 
you pull on his black tie, making him lean forward and make eye contact with you “can i?” you ask, so sweetly. 
he stares at you with the most sexed eyes you’ve ever witnessed. “you’re driving me crazy.” 
“you’re always so sweet to me, jungkook,” you kiss his cheek. readjusting yourself in his lap, straddling him once more. “took me on this amazing dinner, always treating me like a princess.” your lips travel down from his cheeks to his jawline, then to his neck. he shudders at the feeling of your lips against his sensitive skin. your hands move from around his neck to travel further down, to the latch of his belt. his breath hitches. “let me return the favor, kookie.”
“i—“ he laughs, the embarrassment evident in the pink tint on his face. “i won’t last very long.” 
you didn’t mind, just assuring him with a sweet kiss on the cheek before you start removing his belt. jungkook leans his head back on the headrest, his neck exposed for you to kiss and suck. you unbutton and unzip, pulling his pants and his boxers down at the same time. his size makes your eyes bulge. he was huge. your mouth waters at the sight. 
“you’re so big, kook.” you egg him on, fueling his ego because he just looked so hot. your hand moves to hold him at the base, he lets out a shaky breath when your soft skin meets his. jungkook’s head is in the clouds, he could cum right now if he let go, but he’s holds himself back, not wanting to look like a fool in front of you. your hand moves up his dick, your thumb collecting the precum dripping from his hole, your thumb running over his slit as he groans. 
his hips buck up, “shit, baby.” he just sounds so good. you could just lick him up. you collect some saliva in your mouth, letting it drip from your mouth onto his dick to lube your hand. he groans at the sight, “you’re so filthy, baby, holy shit.” 
you smirk at the admission, the spit making it so easy for your hand to glide against his cock. the feeling makes him throw his head back again. his chest rising and falling.  the picture of him with his eyes screwed shut in pleasure and his mouth agape makes your lower belly light up once more, you clench around nothing. leaning in as you pump his cock to whisper in his ear, “wanna fuck me so bad? have me crying on your cock? you want that, don’t you, kookie?” 
jungkook twitches at your words. that’s exactly what he wants. was he that easy to read? was that what you wanted too? the thought of it makes him want to explode, “oh— god, ffuck— fuck,” he sputters. his hand coming up to hover above his head, your hand still pumping as the spurts of his cum shoot out. you smile at the action, knowing he didn’t wanna fuck up your dress. instead just making a mess of him and his hand. he takes deep breaths before speaking, “there’s a little box of tissues in the center console, could you hand it to me, baby?” 
you lean back, opening the console and reaching for the small box that sits in the center. before you give it to him, your eyes flicker to the sticky mess all over jungkook’s hand and groin. a sudden urge to lick takes you over, holding jungkook’s hand and bringing it up to your mouth. you lick the dripping cum from the palm of his hand as he watches, maintaining eye contact the entire time. 
jungkook shivers, a smile creeping on his face, “you— you’re evil.” the remark makes you laugh. 
“sorry, just wanted to help clean up.” you smile, swallowing the cum you collected on your tongue. 
“yeah, yeah, you’re not the sweet girl i thought you were,” jungkook quirks a brow. 
you roll your eyes playfully, “you don’t like it?” 
“nope, i love it, you’re perfect.” jungkook wipes off the remaining mess from his lap and his hand. you help him clean up tissues and he picks up your panties that were discarded on the floor. the two of you fix yourselves before stepping out of the back seat, jungkook opens the passenger door for you before he goes to a trashcan and throws away the soiled tissues. 
he joins you back in the car, starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot. you were rambling about how happy you were that no one was around and how there were no security cameras in the parking garage. jungkook blabbers too, telling you about how embarrassed he is that he barely lasted a few minutes. before the two of you knew it, his car parked in front of your apartment complex. 
he stands outside of your front door, leaning against the doorframe. all dreamy and not like he just made you cum in the backseat of his car. “text me before you sleep?” he smiles. 
you nod, “of course,” reflecting the same smile. you wave before closing your door. the date being more than you ever expected. there was no way jungkook was real. he had to be a figment of your imagination, he was the absolute dream guy. 
you lay in bed, staring at the stars on your ceiling. a blush creeping up to your cheeks once more when you think about the events that took place tonight. 
[11:02 pm] you: thank you for tonight, jungkook 
[11:02 pm] you: it was magical <3 
[11:03 pm] jungkook: no problem cutie, i had an amazing time with you
[11:04 pm] jungkook: feeling okay? 
[11:06 pm] you: i’m great!!! more than okay
[11:07 pm] jungkook: 😂
[11:07 pm] jungkook: i’m glad cutie
[11:08 pm] you: lunch on me next time? now that you’ve taken me for dinner :) 
[11:08 pm] jungkook: sure, i’m down :) 
[11:09 pm] you: i’m rlly tired kookie 
[11:10 pm] you: gonna head to sleep now 
[11:10 pm] jungkook: alright cutie 
[11:11 pm] jungkook: sweet dreams! 
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。゚(゚^O^゚)゚。 tag list: @giadalin @ggukkieland
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watchmegetobsessed · 4 years
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Tastes Like Strawberries - Harry Styles
a/n: oh this one is a long boi and might not be the end??? i’ve been working on this fic for days and i have an idea for a possible second part, but i wrote this one so it has a fulfilling ending so it can stand as a oneshot as well! i barely just started working on the sequel, we’ll se how it’ll turn out, maybe it goes to shit lmao but whatever, it’s still a nice and whole story without a second part! this is my V-day gift to you all, have this nice professor!harry fic as if it was a box of chocolate! 🍓 🍫 🍬
special thanks to @pastequeharry​ who put up with my constant rambling and whining while i was writing this, you are a hero, his is dedicated to you!!
pairing: professor!Harry x Reader
warning: sexual content, abusing relationship, it’s got smut, angst, lot’s of banter and all that jazz!
word count: 21.4k
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There’s just a handful of things to know about Professor Harry Styles and that’s because of one of those very few known facts, the first one being that he is a highly private person. He rarely talks about himself or any aspects of his life, he always makes sure to keep it as professional as possible whenever he is teaching.
Second, he is easily the smartest professor to ever walk on campus, but he doesn’t like to brag about it. You never catch him showing off how much he knows, how big of a genius he is, you’ll just start to realize from the way he teaches and approaches certain topics, how he interacts with others and tries to pass his knowledge down to his students. He is brilliant and he should have all the credits for it, yet he still chooses to keep it to himself.
Third, and it’s the most well-known fact because to see this you just need to have a pair of eyes, he is undeniably the most handsome man to ever teach or if you’re being more precise, walk the hallways of the university. No football crazy, alcoholic fratboy or dreamy looking indie guy from the library can live up to what Professor Harry Styles is. With a face clearly carved by the angels, a nicely built but not too muscular frame, and occasionally displayed tattooed arm that makes you wonder what other artworks his stylish outfits are hiding, there’s no man like him and every female on campus agrees with that.
His lectures and courses are jampacked with sighing and heart-eyed college girls, daydreaming about the man who is solemnly just trying to teach the things he is so passionate about. But it’s not just the students, Professor Styles has managed to charm the female professors of all faculties, you can see them wander by his office way too often, they take any opportunity to talk to the man and try to seduce him. It’s unknown if he is oblivious to the effect he has on women or he chooses to ignore every and any attempts, but this is what leads us to the fourth fact.
Despite all the effort and energy that’s been put into his case by every single woman on campus to break the walls the professor has built around himself, he never let any of his students or colleagues to even think they could be romantically linked for real. Professor Styles keeps his distance and turns down any offer that could be mistaken to anything that doesn’t fit in the professional boundaries.
Anytime a student puts on the slightest flirtatious act towards the professor, he either rejects it straight away or ignores it completely and blatantly, making it his clear answer that he is not interested and then he goes back to teaching. You’ve seen it yourself, having him as one of your professors first year of uni, you fell for him just like every other girl in the lecture hall, dreaming about him in ways you probably shouldn’t think of a teacher while he was just casually talking about his grading system and how he is going to build up the lectures throughout the semester. Some brave girls who you assume were highly celebrated by boys in high school took the courage to openly flirt with him, but he didn’t even flinch before shutting all attempts down, not even a blush appeared on his perfectly cut cheekbones.
You thought of ways you’d try to seduce him yourself, but you never actually tried. You never had the balls to actually give it a go and then suffer from the worst embarrassment of your life when he rejects you. So you kept it all to yourself, only entertaining yourself with your elaborate plans about the seduction of your professor.
Second year passed without any classes with Professor Styles, you had only occasionally seen him come and go, rushing down the hallways holding his notebooks to his chest, a steaming cup of coffee in his other hand as he was heading to his lecture hall that you just knew was filled with girls. You always took a moment to yourself to admire his outfit. He has a tendency to pair odd items and make them look like the most put together fit ever that only he can pull off. However, you and your girlfriends always loved to tease him between each other for his grandpa-like sweaters and vests he seemed to love dearly.
“He confuses me, because I want him to fuck me on his desk but also, I feel like he is about to ask me what periodt means because he is too old to understand slang these days,” your friend, Nat said once when your little group was lounging under the huge oak tree between classes and the professor rushed past you, disappearing in the building without paying any of you a look. He wore a pair of beige slacks and a striped sweater, a wrinkly grey shirt peeking from under it at the bottom. The colors and the style overall once again gave you that old people feeling, but then you looked at his handsome face and couldn’t care any less about whatever he was wearing.
The most intimate way you ever saw him was a few days after your twenty-first birthday the summer before your last year of uni started. You just got back from your hometown, the first person to arrive back to your shared flat with Nat and Eden, so you had a few days on your own. You decided to redecorate your room so you took a trip to IKEA, taking your time looking through the set up rooms, just wandering around as you try to figure out what you really want to buy. Walking through the living room section you spotted the professor and first, you didn’t even recognize him.
He was wearing a pair of bright yellow shorts and a short sleeved shirt with floral prints on it, a pair of white framed sunglass on top of his head, keeping his unruly strands out of his face as he was eyeing a couch, seemingly deep in his thoughts. You stopped in your tracks, seeing him in such a casual and everyday setting. For some reason, he seemed like a completely different person.
A woman was there with him and as you walked closer you could hear a fraction of their discussion.
“I don’t know, Gems. Do I need a couch this big?”
“Looks comfy and I like the color. It would also fit in the space just right, I think you should get the bigger one if you have the space for it,” the woman put her two cents in and you wondered who she could be. Girlfriend? Just a casual friend? Maybe fiancé? She did have a ring that could easily go as an engagement ring so you couldn’t tell for sure.
As you were about to walk past you suddenly took the courage to say hi.
“Hello, Professor Styles!” you greeted him with a warm smile and his eyes flickered over to you from the couch in question. One thing you always admired about him is that he never forgot the faces of his students and as he looked at you, you knew he recognized you even if he didn’t know your name specifically.
“Oh, hello,” he nodded in your way.
“I like the couch,” you commented before slowly moving on. “Have a nice rest of your summer!”
“You too, Y/N,” he called after you and it took you by surprise that he remembered your name. Your lecture he taught had almost over a hundred students in it and you weren’t the most active one to stand out that easily, yet he still remembered you more than you were expecting.
That small encounter kept you thinking about him for way longer than you probably should have, especially because you knew you’d have a lecture with him again in the upcoming semester. Your daydreams about him made their way back into your mind as you spent the last days of your summer mostly with your friends. It got you thinking that if you managed to get him to remember your name, maybe you would give one of your plans a go and shoot your shot. He wouldn’t be teaching you in your last semester so you wouldn’t have to face him after he rejects you.
And this is how you came up with your little scheme.
On your last Sunday evening before school starts, you, Nat and Eden sit in the floor of your living room, drinking some white wine as a way of saying goodbye to the carefree summer moments and getting back to the working days of being a senior at uni. Professor Styles came up completely randomly and you let it slip that you’ve just seen him recently at IKEA with a woman and it all led to you admitting that you’ll finally shoot your shot at the professor. Nat and Eden both did the same already, however their attempts were completely ignored and they always bugged you to give it a try yourself, being the only one in your group who hasn’t tried to seduce the professor yet.
“I’ll tell you, but you can’t tell me it’s stupid because I actually think it’ll be funny and a little bit genius,” you tell them before you start sharing the details on your plan.
“Just spill the beans already!” Eden pokes you before she reaches for the bottle and refills her glass.
“Okay, so you both know I took this psychology class last semester for extra credits, right?” The nod and you continue. “The teacher told us about this thing called classical conditioning or they call it pavlovian response too. The guy, Pavlov, did an experiment where he paired the feeding of dogs with a bell ring and after a certain amount of time the dogs started salivating at just the sound of the bell, because they remembered that it’s connected to food. The teacher said this is literally one of the easiest tricks to pull on people.”
“Oh, isn’t this one of the things Jim did on Dwight in The Office?” Nat asks furrowing her eyebrows.
“It is!” you nod, glad that they are understanding the base of your plan. “So, I’ve heard that Professor Styles loves strawberry flavored candies. I thought that I would bring some every day when I see him and offer him some. Slowly, he’ll pair the candy with the thought of me and he’ll get excited when he sees me because he’ll think I have candy for him and it will hopefully work the other way around and he’ll think of me when he is eating strawberry flavored candy that’s not from me.”
Your friends blink at you for a moment, processing what you just shared with them before Eden takes a huge sip of her drink.
“This is the most ridiculous but also the most genius thing I’ve ever heard,” she nods holding her glass up towards you.
“I can’t believe you will pull a psychological experiment on Professor Styles,” Nat shakes her head with a soft chuckle.
“It’s not a blunt way to get closer to him and if he accuses me of trying to flirt I can just say that I’ve been only sharing candy with him, I literally did nothing,” you point out, pretty proud of your solution to your deep fear of having to take his rejection publicly.
“If you get a Noble for this shit, make sure to thank us in your speech,” Eden laughs and you promise to do so when the big moment comes.
Monday morning you make a quick trip to Target and buy a big bag of strawberry flavored candies, probably enough to last for the whole semester, and then you make your way to campus. Following your first lecture you meet up with Eden who also signed up for Professor Styles’ lecture this semester, so the two of you make your way towards the lecture hall together.
“I really can’t believe you are doing this,” she chuckles when you get the candy ready as you near the room. The professor is always the first one in the lecture hall so you know you’ll find him there already.
“You can’t tell me it’s not a funny plan,” you smirk at her. And just as you walk in, you immediately spot the professor sitting at the desk at the front, going over the syllabus before the start. “Save a seat for me,” you tell Eden who just laughs and makes her way up the stairs along the desks.
Grabbing the pack of sweets from your bag you walk up to the professor, feeling confident with your plan. He lifts his head up when he notices your arrival and your eyes meet with his green ones.
“Hello, professor. Would you like some candy?” you simply ask with an innocent smile.
Professor Styles stares at you for a moment before his eyes move down to the candy in your hand, the opening of the bag facing him in a welcoming manner.
“I, uhh… what flavor?” he curiously asks and you can barely push down your smirk.
“Strawberry.”
“Oh. I’ll… take one, thank you,” he nods, hand reaching into the bag as he grabs just one single candy, unwrapping the package before he pops it into his mouth. “Thank you,” he nods again with a delightful smile.
“Of course. Did you buy the couch?” you ask, taking slow steps away from the desk as he keeps his eyes on you.
“I… did not. Bought another one,” he admits shortly and you know you’ve reached the limit. If you ask more, he’ll get suspicious, so you just nod smiling before walking up to the spot Eden has reserved for you. When you sit down, you catch the professor paying you one last glance before he returns to what he was previously doing.
“You are a genius, because now we can watch him suck on a fucking candy for the next few minutes,” Eden mumbles quietly, making you laugh.
“I knew this would be a good plan,” you sigh, satisfied with the work you’ve done. Now it’s just a matter of time.
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Every Monday and Wednesday, you arrive with the same bag of candy to the lecture hall, walk up to Professor Styles and offer him one. And he always takes one. The first few times he seems hesitant when he spots you approaching him, but he slowly grows used to your tiny act of kindness that occurs every time you see him. On week three you expand the plan. You usually have lunch with Nat on Thursdays since you both have a break between one and two pm. The two of you try to take advantage of the warm early autumn days and sit under the pergola that’s near the building where Professor Styles’ office is as well. It’s mere coincidence, you only like that place because it’s close to the lecture hall you have to go to after lunch, but you notice that the professor emerges from Building C around one thirty, walking back to his office probably after one of his classes. The sidewalk runs directly next to the pergola so it gives you a chance to bring the candy out one more time every week. You nicely greet him when he is nearing the two of you and then hold out the bag, asking if he wants some. He always takes one and thanks you with a sweet smile that leaves you a tad bit blushed.
“I can’t fucking believe your plan is working,” Nat chuckles in disbelief on one occasion when the professor just disappeared in the building, probably happily unwrapping his candy of the day.
“It’s funny, innit?” you grin at her proudly.
Frankly, this is just a fun experiment for you. You don’t actually think that the professor will think of you differently even the slightest. You might be able to plant the thought of you in his head, but that doesn’t instantly mean that he’ll start fancying you and actually do something about it. It would be ridiculously naïve to think it’s going to be you who breaks through the wall that hundreds of women had already tried to knock down.
Week six is what brings the breakthrough. After long consideration and discussion with Nat and Eden, you decide to test if the experiment has been successful. You offer one last candy on Monday, but Wednesday brings the change. You go to lecture without candy. Well, you have it on you, but you decide not to ask him if he wants some.
Walking into the lecture hall, as always, he is already sitting at his desk, flipping through the pages of a book when you walk up to him with the intention of asking him a question on the paper that’s due next week.
“Professor Styles?” you softly speak up, catching his attention. “Can I have a question about the paper?”
“Of course,” he nods and you can’t tell just yet if he was expecting the candy or not.
“I was wondering if I can use a diagram to visualize my results at the end. I have a brilliant idea to summarize the data with one.”
“Sure, just make sure to give credit wherever it’s due, if you are using someone else’s work for the diagram.”
“Definitely,” you smile at him and wait a moment. That’s where you see the anticipation in his eyes.
His gaze flickers down to your hands and then to your bag where you always carry the candy and when his eyes meet yours again, you see him swallow hard.
He was expecting the candy. Not only expecting, but he started salivating when he saw you, thinking that he would get the candy from you as always.
“Is… that all?” he asks, the slightest hint of hope appearing in his tone, probably waiting for you to pull the bag of candy out of your bag and offer him one. But it’s not happening today.
“Yes, thank you very much,” you nod smiling widely before you turn around and walk away, a shocked and triumphant look appearing on your face once he can’t see it anymore and when Eden sees you, she gasps.
“He fucking expected the candy, didn’t he?!” she whispers at you in shock and you nod frantically, still not believing your plan worked.
“You should have seen the anticipation in his eyes, he really thought I was gonna offer him some!”
“Oh my God, this is hilarious!” Eden laughs covering her mouth as the lecture hall starts to fill up slowly.
Turning forward, you see that the professor is sitting behind his desk, the book that had his attention before your arrival is long forgotten in front of him, now he is staring ahead of him with slightly furrowed eyebrows, deep in his thoughts.
Is he thinking about you? Or why he was expecting candy from you?
You see him reach for his water bottle and he takes two big gulps probably to wash away his need for the candy before he narrows his eyes and at last they find you in the auditorium. You tilt your head to the side innocently smiling, as if you know absolutely nothing about anything. You keep eye-contact, forcing you not to be the one who breaks it and he is intimidating. You feel like he can read your mind as he stares at you and when he finally turns his gaze back at the book, you exhale sharply.
The lecture goes down just as usual and when the professor dismisses the class you decide to put the cherry to the top. Walking down between the desks you grab a candy from your bag and while the professor is talking to a girl who also had a question about the paper, you place the candy to his desk next to his book. He doesn’t see you walk out and you don’t see him when he finds it, but something is telling you he figured you out. No way a man as smart as him doesn’t realize what game you’ve been playing with him.
Sitting under the pergola on Thursday you are deep in discussion with Nat, helping her with a task sheet she has to turn in after lunch but she completely forgot about it. As the two of you are trying to do the seemingly endless sheet, you don’t even notice the professor walking from Building C, as always, but he spots you.
“No, I don’t think that’s even a thing, you can’t write that,” you tell Nat, but she shakes her head.
“I don’t care if it’s a thing, I just want to fill in the whole thing so the teacher doesn’t think I finished it in twenty minutes before class,” she mumbles, scribbling down her answer as you just chuckle at her.
Suddenly, you see a pair of dusty Vans appear in your sight and as your eyes move up, you are facing none other than Professor Styles, standing right in front of you, holding out his hand with his hand turned upwards, a cheeky smile tugging on his lips. His appearance takes you by surprise and for a moment you just dumbly stare down at his palm, then up at his eyes.
“Very smart. Pulling a pavlovian on me with my favorite candy,” he speaks up, dropping his hand as he cocks his head to the side. Nat looks up from her sheet with wide eyes as you stare at the professor with blushing cheeks.
“I have no idea what you are talking about, professor,” you tell him with a knowing smirk.
“Of course. You know, it took me a moment to realize yesterday, but I wanted to let you know that… I think it was clever.”
“If I knew anything about what you’re talking about… I would say thank you. But I stand up for my innocence.”
“Surely,” he chuckles softy. “Have a great rest of your week,” he then nods before turning around to walk away, but you quickly reach into your bag and grab a candy.
“Professor Styles!” you call out and he turns back just in time to catch the candy you throw in his way. He glances at it in his palm before his eyes snap up to you again, smirking at you shortly before he disappears in the building.
“Okay, call me stupid, but I could feel the sexual tension between the two of you,” Nat says as soon as the professor is out of sight.
“Don’t be silly, it was just… a joke and he liked it.”
“He called you clever, Y/N!”
“No, he called my trick clever.”
“But you came up with it so you’re clever too. Say whatever you want, but I actually think you have a shot at him.”
“I definitely don’t,” you laugh shaking your head and you genuinely believe it. Nat scoffs before she gets back to her sheet, but not without having one last thought about the situation.
“We’ll be laughing at how you brainwashed him into liking you when you’ll be dating for years, living together and all that shit.”
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You’ve made some very questionable choices in your dating life prior. Like when you dated a boy in high school and let him take your virginity at the back of his mom’s minivan just to break up with your right after that, or when you briefly dated the guy you met at the mall, but it later turned out he was gay and he used you as his cover up in front of his family. But the worst decision of all was dating an egoistic forty years old loser who just freshly got divorced and went after you at some tacky bar you were at with your friends.
The time you spent dating Victor is way less than the time he has been bothering you, trying to make you go back to him when you’ve actually told him you don’t want anything to do with him anymore. You broke up with him just before you went home for the summer and he didn’t take it well, even drove up to your hometown and showed up at your parents’ house drunk, begging for you to take him back. He never stood a chance, not after that one time he slapped you across the face during a fight the two of you had. You tolerate a lot of things but not violence and you don’t believe him when he says it was just a onetime thing. There’s no guarantee he won’t hit you ever again and you are definitely not waiting around to see if he told you the truth.
On this particular late October evening you are searching through your whole room looking for a book you know you have, but can’t seem to find anywhere. It’s your holy bible about research methodology and you need it for your thesis work, but it seems like the small apartment has completely swallowed it.
“Didn’t you leave it at Victor’s? You were working on that long essay when you were dating him, saw you use the book all the time,” Eden tells you when you ask her if she’s seen it anywhere and then it clicks.
She is right, now you remember leaving the book at his once and you completely forgot to pick it up after things got nasty between the two of you.
“Damn it,” you growl in annoyance.
Not feeling like calling him, you send him a quick text, hoping he still has it and hasn’t burned it after one of your fights.
Y/N: Hey, I think I left my research methodology book at yours. You still have it?
Victor: I do.
Y/N: Cool, can I drop by to pick it up?
Victor: I’m leaving for work, you can come to the bar if you want it.
You sigh in defeat. Victor is a bartender at a place that’s all the way across town, takes almost an entire hour to get there, but you are left with no other choice.
Y/N: Okay, I’ll see you there.
The raining has finally stopped this morning so you feel better leaving the house than you would have if it was still pouring. You take the bus and travel across town, feeling anxious to see Victor again. Last time you met him he cursed you out and threw his phone at you, barely missing your head. You promised yourself you wouldn’t go near him again after that, but it seems like you can never get completely rid of him.
Students rarely come to this part of the town, it’s way too far from campus and has nothing to offer that can’t be found closer to the dormitories or the school’s buildings. It’s not entirely your scene either, the bars around here are liked by older generations, not by people your age, this is another reason why you don’t like coming around here.
The bar where Victor works is a place where they have different local bands perform every Friday and Saturday. It’s not a tacky nook with creepy dudes, they actually have prices on the higher end, not something you can necessarily afford with your part time job’s paycheck from the small accounting office near your apartment where you work as an assistant on your free afternoons.
Walking into the place you immediately spot Victor behind the bar and you take a deep breath before you walk up to him.
“Hey,” you call out for him, taking one of the stools along the bar.
“Hey. Long time no see.”
“Happens when you break up with someone,” you respond with a little spice and he frowns at your words. “Can you give me the book?”
“I’ll have a break in ten, can you wait for that or you have something extra urgent shit to do, as always?” You can tell he is still bitter from how things ended between the two of you, but you’ve learned not to care about it. His way of dealing with the breakup is not your responsibility, no matter how hard he is trying to prove it wrong.
You roll your eyes but nod, knowing well there’s no use to fight him. Ten minutes is not the end of the world. Busying yourself on your phone, you try to stay unnoticed and luckily, Victor can’t keep chatting with you, because customers keep coming up to him and ordering drinks. When he finally has his break he tells you to follow him to the back.
“So how have you been?” he asks as you walk down the hallway that leads to the small break room, there’s an office at the end and some kind of changing room you guess for the bands, along with a storage.
“Fine.”
“You really gonna be a bitter bitch and not talk to me?” he asks you, giving you a disgusted look, but you know it’s just the anger talking from him.
“Victor, I didn’t come here to talk, I just need my book!”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t answer my question.”
“I answered it! I’ve been fine, now give me the damn book!” you growl, losing your patience with him, but he is seemingly in the same shoes.
“When will you stop being a bitch and just drop this ridiculous act, Y/N? I’ve been after you for months yet you keep ignoring me!”
“Did it ever occur to you that I’m ignoring you because I don’t want anything to do with you? Victor, it’s been months, just… move the fuck on! Go cry to your ex-wife or something, I don’t care!”
You didn’t mean to snap, but he always brings the worst out of you. From the corner of your eyes you can see movement at the other end of the hallway where the changing room is, but you don’t get to pay much attention to it, because the next moment Victor grabs you by your arm and yanks you towards him.
“Don’t fucking talk to me like that! You ungrateful slut, I swear…”
There’s little you can do, he is twice as big as you are, his grip on your arm so strong there’s no doubt it will leave a mark. Your heart is racing as you try to pull yourself out of his hold, but he doesn’t even bat an eye at your attempt.
However, before he could drag you into the empty breakroom to do god knows what, he is stopped by a voice.
“Hey! Let her go!”
If you weren’t shocked enough at his violent reaction, now you are definitely think you’re going nuts, because it’s none other than Professor Styles who is now nearing you with a hard expression on his face, two other guys following right behind him and though none of them are bigger than Victor, he knows he can’t just start a fight with three men.
Your chest is heaving when the professor finally reaches you and Victor’s hold lets go of you, making you fall back a little.
“You perform here twice and think you’re some kind of rockstar?” Victor spats at the professor, but you’re a little lost in what’s really going on. Professor Styles gently grabs your wrist and pulls you behind him, eyes never leaving Victor’s burning gaze.
“You alright?” one of the other two men asks and you nod, not finding your voice to actually speak.
“Get the hell out of my sight before I call the police on you,” the professor answers in a calm yet threatening voice
Victor takes a second to himself, thinking about the choices he has before he turns around and disappears in the breakroom, slamming the door behind him, leaving you in complete shock about what just happened.
Professor Styles then turns around, his eyes soften at seeing how shaken you are and quite frankly, you feel like you are in a bad and quite weird dream.
“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” he asks, clearly worried about you and you just shake your head no.
“I-I’m fine, I think,” you mumble out of breath.
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” the guy who asked if you’re alright suggests and you nod in agreement, following them kind of blindly, the three of them keeping you in their little circle as you walk out to the bar and they don’t stop until you are out of the place in the cold night air. You slowly come back to reality and process that Professor Styles just saved you out of fucking nowhere from your abusive asshole ex. That’s what you call a plot twist.
You finally take a moment to look at the other two guys, they both look the same age as the professor, or maybe a little older, both of them are rocking some facial hair, the one that asked you seems a little more open while the other one quite reserved but friendly looking.
“What… What were you doing back there?” you ask, turning to face the professor. He clearly seems upset, but you’re not sure if it’s entirely because of what happened with Victor back then or because you are standing outside some random bar on a Saturday night, definitely crossing his personal boundaries he keeps so high at school.
“We played here tonight, was just about to leave when I saw you.”
“You have a band?” you ask, shocked at the detail.
“A pretty good one,” the talkative guy chuckles. “I’m Adam, nice to meet you. This is Mitch.”
You shake hands with them introducing yourself as well.
“Y/N is… my student,” the professor adds as if he is clearing the air for his bandmates, a kind of warning for them.
From the direction of the parking lot two women emerge, laughing on something as they walk up to the four of you, both of them eyeing you curiously.
“Hey boys, who is this pretty girl?”
“Sarah, Charlotte, this is Y/N, she is my student. Y/N, these are my other band mates, Sarah and Charlotte,” the professor introduces you as you shake hands with them quickly.
“I-I’m sorry I interrupted your time with your friends, professor,” you shyly apologize, feeling like a complete intruder all of a sudden with all his bandmates around you.
“Interrupt? Sweetheart, that dude was about to do some unforgivable things to you, don’t apologize for needing help,” Adam snorts. “You’re lucky we were there.”
“What? What happened?” Sarah asks in confusion.
“Just… my asshole ex got a little too violent when I didn’t want to chit-chat with him,” you admit with a defeated sigh.
“Oh shit, but are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” you smile faintly, though you still can feel his grip on your upper arm. “I, um… I better get going, I guess. Thank you for… the saving,” you say, a little lost about what should be said in this situation.
“You’re leaving? We were just about to go to a much better place, why don’t you come with us, forget about your ex a little?” Charlotte offers and you catch the professor’s panicked look for a split second.
“I, um… I don’t think I should, but thank you.”
“Why shouldn’t you?” Sarah questions.
“Because I know how Professor Styles hates to mingle with students outside of lectures and I don’t want to cross any lines,” you truthfully admit. The professor furrows his eyebrows.
“I don’t hate mingling with students,” he states.
“Well, you are surely not the most reachable professor on campus,” you chuckle lightly. “But it’s fine, I understand it. So I’ll just head home.”
“Come on, Harry. Let her tag along for just one drink!” Sarah begs and seemingly everyone would be happy to have you join for a little. The professor’s eyes meet yours, as if he is contemplating whether he should say yes or let you go home. When he finally speaks up you’re more surprised than when you realized it was him saving you from Victor.
“I guess you could use a drink after what happened in there,” he says, the tiniest smirk showing on his lips as your eyes shoot up.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, come on,” he nods and your little group heads down the street.
Turns out the place they were heading to was just two corners down, so they left all their stuff at the minivan at the parking lot for the time being. You slide into an empty booth, Adam and Mitch go to get the first round, so it’s just the three of you girls and the professor.
“So you’re in one of Harry’s lectures?” Charlotte asks with a warm smile.
“Yeah, for the second time, actually. Had him in first year, now it’s my fifth semester and I had no doubt I have to take his class if I have the chance.” You pay a glance at him, but he is staring at his hands on his lap, you can’t tell if it’s because he is uncomfortable with you there or if it’s something else.
“It’s so funny, because we’ve heard that he is known to be a good teacher but we never actually heard it from one of his students,” Sarah chuckles. “What’s he like?”
“Sarah, you enjoy talking about me when I’m very much present?” he scoffs, giving her a look, but she just shrugs innocently.
“Come on, I bet even you’re curious about what your students think of you. Now is your time to find it out!”
“I think Professor Styles knows very well that he is one of the best, if not the actual best,” you truthfully say and see him raise his eyebrows a little.
“What makes him so good?” Charlotte questions.
You glance at him again, as a way of asking for permission if you can answer. You definitely don’t want to make him even more uncomfortable by talking about him when he is right next to you. He looks into your eyes, and his expression tells you that he wants to hear your answer as well, but he quickly adds:
“You don’t have to answer, Y/N.”
“It’s not a secret,” you admit it with a smile. “Professor Styles’ lectures always leave you with a question to think about until next week, he is great at getting into your head without you even noticing. He explains the most complicated things in so simple ways, it should be taught,” you say with a soft chuckle. “I think his enormous knowledge about many different fields in science and just life in general is amusing, anyone can learn something from him, it’s guaranteed.”
“Wow, where is this academic genius side of yours when you’re around us, or we only get to see the dad joke version of you?” Sarah teases him and you can’t push down a laugh, imagining him cracking dad jokes feels so alien but still kind of fitting for him.
“That’s what you get when you’re a nosy little thing,” he retorts with a small smirk. He then turns to you, and as Sarah and Charlotte are laughing on something, he lowly tells you: “You can call me Harry outside of school. Feels weird that you call me professor when my friends are around.”
“You sure?”
He nods and you spot a small smile on his lips. He must be getting used to the feel of you being there, but you still don’t want to push his limits too much.
“Can I ask you something?” he questions, leaning back in his seat.
“Of course.”
“If your ex is this aggressive, why were you there with him?”
His question is surprising, you didn’t think he would ask you something personal, but you guess it’s a valid question after he just saved you from Victor.
“I wanted to get a book back that I left at his place. Didn’t even get to the point where he could have given it back,” you mumble under your breath.
“What book?”
“Just this… research methodology book, wanted it back for my thesis work, but I guess I’ll have to buy a new one,” you huff bitterly.
“Is it the one written by William Scott?”
“Y-Yeah, it is. You know it?” you ask, but then realize it’s a bit of a dumb question. He probably knows every academically important book you will ever come across.
“I actually have it myself,” he nods. Just then, Mitch and Adam return with the drinks and you thank them for the beer, already reaching for your money to pay, but Adam shakes his head.
“It’s on me, don’t worry.”
You watch as Mitch sits beside Sarah, curling an arm around her shoulders and though you couldn’t have guessed that they are a couple, seeing them like this it actually makes sense, they look cute together.
You take a sip from your beer, trying to join the conversation Sarah and Charlotte are having, when your attention is pulled back by Harry.
“I can… lend you the book, if you want.”
“Oh, you don’t have to. I’ll just get a new one.”
“No, really. I think I even have two copies, I can give one to you.”
“I couldn’t ask you that, prof—I mean Harry.”
“You’re not asking,” he smiles at you softly. “I probably won’t need both, so why not put the extra into use?”
“Okay, but I’ll pay for it,” you insist, but Harry shakes his head.
“No need, one of them was a gift so I didn’t pay for it either.”
“Well… if you’re sure about it, I would love to have that extra copy, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“So Y/N, what do you study exactly?” Adam questions, pulling you out of your little discussion with Harry.
“I’m majoring in anthropology, but I’ve been taking some psychology classes on the side just because I’m interested in the topics.”
“And what is Harry teaching you?”
“Had him for intro Sociology lecture first year, now I’m in his Methodology of Cultural Anthropology class.”
“All these subjects with their GY endings, I don’t know how you two put up with science on this level,” Sarah huffs in amusement.
“The names sometimes sound fancier than the subject itself,” you tell her smiling.
“But I bet you need to be quite smart to study these stuff on this level you are at.”
“Oh, it’s just a bachelorette degree, I wouldn’t say I’m that smart,” you chuckle shyly.
“She is totally toning it down,” Harry speaks up, catching everyone’s attention. “I know students tend to take my into Sociology class for just some extra credits so I always give them two options for the semester. They can either write a two pages long review of any article related to the topics talked about at lecture and get their strong C with the bare minimum, or actually participate and do a research of their own and turn in an at least seven pages long essay about their chosen topic. Y/N turned in an eleven pages long paper on the history of death sentences in the U.S. in the last fifty years and how society is thinking about it nowadays. It was easily one of the best works I’ve ever read and it was just an intro class.”
“You remember my essay?” you ask in complete shock.
“Of course. As I said, one of the bests I’ve read,” he nods confidently.
“So you’re like… on Harry’s smart level, actually?” Sarah asks, tilting her head to the side and you can feel yourself blushing.
You’ve always been said to be the smart kid at school, but you never thought it to be true yourself. In your book, you were just doing your absolute best, soaking in whatever knowledge was thrown in your way. You never actually understood how someone could just not study for an exam or not do an assignment, because you always felt like it was your duty to do the best you can. You thought yourself to be more of a hard-working student rather than a smart one.
“She is definitely a bright one,” Harry agrees, his eyes meeting yours as a small smile appears on his lips and you think that this is the biggest compliment you’ve ever gotten. “She actually tricked me with a psychological experiment and I didn’t even realize it,” he laughs and you can’t hold your smirk back.
“What? What did you do?” Charlotte asks, dying to know how you played Harry.
“Have you heard of the Pavlovian response?” you ask looking around and you can tell it rings a bell for all of them.
“The one with the dogs and the bell?” Mitch asks and you nod.
“Wait you did that on Harry?” Adam laughs with wide eyes and you just nod with a sly smile.
“I just offered him strawberry flavored candies every time I saw him. Took me six weeks to build up the response but he actually started expecting it whenever he saw me,” you tell them chuckling to yourself.
“And I only realized it when she stopped with the candy and I felt this massive feeling that something was missing,” Harry adds shaking his head with a soft laugh.
“Okay, that’s hilarious,” Sarah snorts clapping her hands together. “Y/N, I adore you, you’re brilliant!”
“It was just… an experiment,” you shrug shyly.
The night carries much faster than you realize. One drink turns into three and before you could realize, it’s already past midnight. Eden texts you, asking where you are since you said you’d just get the book and go home right away, but it’s been hours.
Y/N: Don’t freak out, but I’m at a bar with Prof. Styles and his friends. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow!
Eden: HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO FREAK OUT AFTER READING THIS???!?!
Y/N: Lol, chill. Nothing extra is happening.
Eden: It’s already extra that you’re out with him.
Realizing how late it is, you decide you better get going, since it’s a long way back home. When you tell the little group that you’re about to head out, they all agree that it’s time to part ways and leave, so you all slowly make your way back to the parking lot.
“Do you know where the bus stop is back?” you ask, narrowing your eyes, trying to spot where you should be heading.
“You want to go home by bus at this time?” Harry asks.
“Well, I surely won’t pay for a ride, I live almost an hour away from here.”
“An hour?” he frowns. “I’ll take you home, come on,” he tells you, heading towards the minivan.
“What? No need. The bus is fine,” you protest, but he shakes his head.
“You are not taking the bus at this hour, not under my watch,” he simply states and you raise your eyebrows at him.
“Didn’t realize I was under your watch,” you tease him and it seems like your comment caught him off-guard. “Don’t piss your pants, I was just joking,” you tell him, and thought for a second you feel like you are being way too comfortable around him, his smile quickly smashes your doubts.
Sarah, Mitch and Charlotte all take an Uber since they live near each other and Adam is picked up by his wife, so when everyone is off to their own way, you and Harry get in the van and head to your place.
“How long have you had the band?” you ask, in need to break the silence that’s been weighing down on the two of you. “If you don’t mind me asking,” you add quickly when you see him.
“About four years. Used to have another one, but we parted ways.”
“And what do you do in the band?”
“I, uhh… Well I mostly sing but I also play the guitar.”
“You know, I’m not that surprised you can sing,” you chuckle to yourself sinking further down in your seat.
“How come?”
“You have a voice that’s great to listen to at lectures, makes sense that you can sing as well.”
You take a moment to look at his hand that’s gripping the steering wheel, he is the kind that drives with one hand on the wheel, the other one on the shifting gear. He makes it look so easy as he steers the wheel whenever he is turning a corner while his other one easily moves around the shifting gear, his tattoos are peeking from under his rolled up shirt sleeve. He catches you staring and you feel a blush burning on your cheeks as you turn your head to the other side. Maybe you shouldn’t have drunk that third beer…
“Am I really seen that rigid by the students?” he speaks up after a while and you turn back to face him.
“What do you mean?”
“You said I’m known about not mingling with students.”
“Well, you don’t mingle, do you? But it doesn’t mean you come off as rigid. More like… closed-off. Private.”
“I know I should be a little friendlier, but I just…”
“You don’t have to explain yourself, I think everyone gets it why you’re like that.”
“Do they?” he arches an eyebrow.
“Well, you’re obviously a ladies’ favorite, but it doesn’t sit well with you being a person of some sort of power. It’s clear that you don’t want anyone to get the wrong picture about you. I’ve seen how bluntly girls are flirting with you, some of them are quite scandalous if you ask me,” you huff to yourself. “I totally get it that you don’t want even just a rumor to spread about you.”
“Didn’t think I was that obvious,” he admits, running his tongue over his lips.
“Don’t worry about it, you’re still a highly fancied professor, in all means,” you tell him with a warm smile.
“Does this mean you also fancy me?” he suddenly questions and your lips part at his words. He quickly realizes how ambiguous he just sounded. “I mean, am I one of your favorites? Where do I stand in your chart of professors?”
You can’t tell for sure because of the lack of lighting, but you could have sworn there’s a light blush on his cheeks as he corrects himself. Because of this, you don’t know for sure if he really meant it academically. Either way, the answer is the same.
“You’re my favorite,” you confidently state and your eyes meet for a moment before he turns back to face the road.
The rest of the ride is pretty quiet, you keep giving him directions to your place until you finally arrive a little before one am.
“Well, thank you for the ride,” you smile at him, grabbing the door handle.
“See you on Monday,” he nods shortly and watches as you get out of the can.
“Yeah, see you, professor,” you smirk before shutting the door and walking up the stairs and disappearing in your building.
“Was that Professor Styles in the fucking minivan?!” Nat throws the question at you the moment you open the front door.
“Jesus, why are you still up?” you sigh, shutting the door and shimmying yourself out of your coat.
“Because we were waiting for you!” Eden rolls her eyes. “So, care to tell us what the fuck just happened?” The three of you get comfortable on the couch and you give them a quick rundown of your evening from meeting Victor through being saved by Harry right to him offering to drive you home and they listen to you with wide eyes in complete shock that you just spent your entire evening with the most handsome professor on campus who also happens to be the most private as well.
“If I didn’t see him sitting in that van with my own eyes I would straight up think you’re lying, but I saw his tattooed hand over the windshield,” Nat gasps, processing the story.
“I know, I still feel like it didn’t happen, but it did.”
“And what is he like around his friends? What are his friends like?” Eden questions, hugging her knees to her chest.
“He is pretty much just like in lecture, just jokes a little more and he has a looser vocab. His friends are hilarious, I really got along with Sarah.”
“I know you still think it won’t happen, but I actually think you have a shot at him, Y/N,” Eden points it out and you just chuckle.
“Why, because he saved me from my douche ex?”
“No, because he let you stay for the night with him and his friends. This is literally the first ever time a student hung out with him.”
“It’s not that big of a deal, Harry is a reserved and private person—“
“Harry?!” they gasp at the same time.
“You are now just casually calling him Harry?” Nat asks with ogling eyes.
“Well, yes, he asked me to, because it felt weird that I was calling him Professor Styles with his friends around.”
“Okay, I’m giving it… let’s say, he seems to be moving pretty slow, but y’all will be fucking in about six months,” Nat bluntly tells you and it makes you laugh.
“Oh, sure, whatever. I’m gonna shower and head to bed, you two don’t get too crazy with your fairytales,” you wave at them before disappearing in the bathroom.
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The rest of the weekend goes by uneventfully, outside of the pathetic attempt from Victor to get you to talk to him, but you’ve had enough of him for a life so you finally block his number and hope you won’t ever see him again.
Both you and Eden oversleep on Monday morning, skipping your early morning lecture and already being late for Harry’s class as well, so you barely make it to Harry’s class in time, just sprinting up the rows, flopping down to your usual seats when Harry starts the lecture. It all goes as usual as if nothing really happened during the weekend, Harry doesn’t seem to be bothered by it at all. Glancing over at his desk you spot the book he promised you and you can’t hold your smile back. Still grinning, your eyes accidentally meet with his gaze and he stops for a heartbeat as if he is questioning why you are so smiley, but you just shake your head and he carries on before anyone could suspect a thing.
“I gotta run, my favorite TA is having his office hours now and I have a few questions for him. See you at home?” Eden asks once the lecture is over and you are getting ready to leave.
“Sure, have a good day!” you call after her and she sings a ‘you too!’ before running out of the room.
You pack up and head down between the rows, Harry spotting you right away and you go up to him without him even asking you to.
“Hey, sorry we were a little late to class this morning,” you tell him and he just shakes his head kindly.
“No worries. How… is your arm?” He furrows his eyebrows, his gaze wandering down to your forearm where Victor grabbed you on Saturday.
“Oh, it’s fine. I just have a little bruise,” you shrug, because it really isn’t that big deal, but you can tell Harry is still outraged by what happened.
“M’sorry about that.”
“It’s fine. Would be worse if you weren’t there,” you smile at him kindly and he nods to himself before turning to his desk.
“I, uhh, I brought the book we talked about,” he shyly says grabbing it from the desk. As people are exiting the room you can feel the glares on yourself, most of them are probably trying to figure out why Harry is talking to you for so long, but you don’t pay much attention to them as you take the book he hands you.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay for it?”
“No need, keep it, it’s yours,” he shakes his head with a small smile.
“Thank you then.” You slide the book into your bag before looking back up at him. “Well, I’ll see you on Wednesday, professor,” you smile warmly before heading out.
“See you!” he calls after you before you close the door behind you.
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The week carries on as usual, you are working on papers that needs to be turned in before the fall break so you spend some extra time at the library, using every bit of free time you have so you finish everything on time.
Things go back to kind of normal with Harry, he greets you in the mornings when you walk into the lecture hall and other than the warm smile he occasionally gives you, nothing has changed.
Friday however brings a surprise, but not from Harry. You’re sitting at work in the afternoon, typing away on your computer, filling in some sheets when you get a notification on your phone from Instagram.
Sarah Jones is now following you!
You tap on her profile but see that it’s private so without a second thought you request following. Luckily, she approves you only a few seconds later and you gain access to her posts, quite a few of them featuring Harry on them.
Photos of birthdays, weekend getaways, band practices and performances, Harry makes a lot of appearances on her feed and you find yourself scrolling all the way down until you reach the first few posts from 2016. Just as you are about to leave her profile you get a message from her.
Sarah: Hey Y/N! Charlotte and I’ve been talking about you recently, loved having you with us last Saturday! Want to grab a drink with the two of us this weekend?
Y/N: Would love to, but I’m not sure Harry would like the idea…
Sarah: He won’t be there and besides, who is he to tell you who you can and can’t hang out with?
She is right. You enjoyed spending time with them as well and Harry has little to no word in if you want to meet up with his friends or not. This invitation has no connection to him being your professor.
Y/N: Alright, I’m down!
 This is how your friendship with Sarah and Charlotte starts. You meet up with them on Saturday and have an amazing time, they are definitely fun people to spend time with and though at first you feel hesitant to get closer to them, you soon forget about your doubts and just enjoy your time with them.
Your little girls night goes so well that they invite you out for dinner on Wednesday with Mitch joining the little trio. You learn that he is a quiet but hilarious guy, he and Sarah make a great couple, you think.
“We have a gig this Saturday at Green Light, want to come?” Charlotte asks at the end of the dinner.
“Okay, I really don’t think Harry would be a fan of that idea,” you point out, feeling like it’s surely over the lines. He still doesn’t know about you meeting some of his friends without him and you’re not sure how he would react if he did.
“Harry can fuck off, not everything is about him. We are inviting you as our friends, he just happens to be in the band as well,” Sarah rolls her eyes, clearly not as bothered by the situation as you are.
“I just don’t want to make him uncomfortable.”
“He is a big boy, he’ll get himself over it, don’t worry. So, are you coming?”
“I guess, alright,” you nod with a soft chuckle.
 Next week you contemplate telling Harry that Sarah invited you out for their gig, but at last you decide against it, something is telling you he would try to talk you down and now you’re pretty hyped to see them perform. So you keep quiet and just brace yourself for the worst when Saturday comes.
You don’t overdress for the occasion, decide to wear some light washed mom jeans and a simple sweater tucked into it, a casual look for a night out.
Even when you’re on your way to the place you are having second guesses whether it’s a good idea or not, but you tell yourself it’s not that big of a deal and if Harry flips, you’ll just tell him you came for Sarah and Charlotte.
As you get off the bus and walk towards the place, you immediately spot the little group of three next to Harry’s minivan, Sarah waving in your way as you become visible in the streetlights.
“There she is!” she beams happily and you just chuckle at her.
Harry is standing with his back facing your way but seeing Sarah’s reaction he turns around and you swear for a moment you think he is about to faint when he spots you.
“Hey everyone,” you smile as Sarah pulls you into a hug and Charlotte does the same.
“Hey, if it isn’t our little trouble seeker!” Adam teases you and you just roll your eyes at him before shyly glancing at Harry who is standing on your left, awfully quiet and deep in his thoughts since your arrival. He feels your eyes on him and his gaze meets yours and just by one look you can tell he is pissed.
Just as you thought.
The group chats a little longer outside before Adam suggests they head inside and get ready for their start and you are just about to follow them, but Harry keeps you back.
“Y/N, can we have a word?”
Staying back you nod, hiding your hands in your coat’s pockets as you look at him, lips curled into your mouth.
“What are you doing here?” he questions, eyebrows knitted together and he looks so damn intimidating, the neon lights from the front of the building tinting part of his face green, but you think red would suit him better with this look.
“I… came to see the band playing, what do you mean?”
“Is this your sneaky way of trying to come after me? Because I thought we had a very clear discussion about my thoughts regarding situations like this and you seemed to understand it.”
He comes off way angrier than you think he should be. Yes, it might be uncomfortable for him to see you here, but the tone he just hit is way too harsh for your liking and professor or not, you are not letting anyone talk to you like that when it’s completely not relevant.
“Okay, calm down. First of all, I was invited here.”
“By who?” he spats.
“Sarah and Charlotte, we met last weekend and had dinner this week as well. Had a great time and they asked me to come tonight as well, so get off of your high horse, I’m not here for you.” You can see the change on his face as the information sinks in and he realizes he accused you wrongly, but you’re not quite done with him. “But if I was here to see you, why does that bother you so much? You can’t avoid meeting students every minute when you’re off-campus. If I came here because of you, it shouldn’t affect you this much if you weren’t worried about something else than me just being here,” you point out and he furrows his eyebrows at you. “If I didn’t know better I would think you’re afraid to be around me because you actually like me, huh!” you tell him with an innocent yet suggesting look. His eyes widen and the confidence in himself quickly vanishes from him, replaced by anxiety and nervous looks as he realizes the meaning behind your words.
“I-I, that’s not—I’m not—“
“Take a breath before you pass out, Harry,” you sigh, dropping the hard act. “I didn’t come here for you and if you want to know I actually thought a lot about canceling because of you. But I genuinely like spending time with Sarah and Charlotte so I’m here as their friend.”
Harry stares back at you, completely defeated, regret filling his green eyes. You feel a little guilty for snapping so hard at him, after all you do understand his point of view, but you genuinely don’t think it’s as big of a deal as he makes it to be.
“I-I’m…”
“It’s fine, okay? Let’s just… move past it, alright?” you suggest and he nods as the two of you head inside, joining the rest of the group.
You stay behind while they are waiting for their time to perform, keeping some distance from Harry so he can’t accuse you again, but you occasionally look his way, catching him already looking at you, but you just can’t tell what could be possibly going on in his head. When it’s time for them to go on stage, you go out to the actual bar area and sit by the counter, not too much at the front but close enough to see everything that happens on the stage.
When they start playing you can’t take your eyes off Harry. His energy behind the microphone just knocks you off the stool and you watch him completely mesmerized as if he has put a spell on you. It feels like he turns into an entirely different person on stage, nothing like the man you see at lectures every Monday and Wednesday. He sings perfectly on key, putting some extra charm into the songs with his little additional tunes whenever he is not singing a line.
But what makes it absolutely impossible to look away from him is because he keeps staring at you, eyes locking with yours for way too long every time he catches your gaze. You try to ignore it, but it’s quite hard when his eyes are basically burning into you, it leaves you breathless.
Once the concert is over you order yourself two tequila shots quickly, because something is telling you that you’ll need the boosting if you want to face Harry after his little performance.
But for your surprise, when you join the band again and get near him, nothing really happens. It seems like Harry has come to peace with your presence in his little group of friends and he actually treats you like you’re part of the circle.
The six of you occupy a table at the back of the bar to spend there the rest of the evening and it’s all good, it seems. A harmless night out with a bunch of friends, nothing extra. Harry actually strikes up conversations with you involved and you feel like you’ve overcome a banter finally.
“Do you need a ride home?” Harry asks at the end of the night when everyone is about to head home.
“Only if it’s fine by you.”
“Wouldn’t offer it if it wasn’t,” he smiles shortly before the two of you say goodbye to the rest of the group and head to his van that was previously loaded with their stuff.
The ride back to your place is now much shorter, it takes less than ten minutes to arrive and you are just about to say goodbye when he speaks up.
“I want to apologize for the way I reacted to your arrival earlier tonight. It was… unnecessary.”
“It’s fine, I’m sorry for what I said after that too.”
“You shouldn’t be,” he shakes his head, staring down at his hands in his lap.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you shouldn’t be sorry for saying something that’s true.”
It feels like all air is knocked out of you as his words process and you stare at him with parted lips and raised eyebrows. When he finally looks up at you, he looks so lost and tortured, you feel the urge to hug him, but you stay still as he continues talking.
“I got mad because I do like you and seeing you outside of school is very… confusing for me. And this is why I’m gonna be very straightforward with you now. I can tell Sarah and Charlotte like you a lot and they are stubborn, they won’t see the situation from my point of view and I’m no one to tell you if you can hang out with us or not. But what I can most certainly tell you is that nothing will happen between us. I’m very serious about this, Y/N. You are very much welcomed to spend more time with us, but I want you to know that it won’t go further than this.”
For a couple of moments you’re only able to stare back at him, blinking completely frozen at his sudden confession. You could tell tonight has been a turning point of some kind, but you were not expecting this speech from him at all and now you are at a complete loss of words. It takes some time before you actually find your voice.
“Okay,” is all you can breathe out, nothing more, but it’s pretty much all you have to tell him. You won’t go against his will and force him to do something he doesn’t want. He deserves the respect.
He nods shortly, seemingly still very torn about the situation and you figure it’s better if you just leave now.
“Thank you for the ride,” you quietly tell him opening the door. “Good night.”
“Good night, Y/N,” you hear him before you shut the door and walk into your building, feeling like you’ve been just hit by a pile of bricks.
Unlike the last time when Harry brought you home, Nat and Eden are not waiting for you in the living room. Nat is probably already asleep and Eden went out for a date earlier and she hasn’t been back. You don’t bother to turn the lights on as you walk inside, just kick your boots off and hang your coat before collapsing onto the couch, just staring into the darkness, Harry’s words repeating in your head again and again.
“… I do like you and seeing you outside of school is very confusing for me.”
“… nothing will happen between us. I’m very serious about this, Y/N.”
“… but I want you to know that it won’t go further than this.”
Harry, your professor, The Harry Styles admitted that he likes you but also told you pretty forward that nothing is ever going to happen between the two of you. It still feels like a fever dream and you’re not sure how you are feeling about it just yet. Hanging out with him was already quite overwhelming, but you were not expecting this confession from him at all.
What are you supposed to do with this information? If he is so set on not taking any further steps, why did he even share it with you? He could have just easily keep his thoughts and feelings to himself and get away with it without you ever figuring it out. It doesn’t make sense.
For the first time in your life, something Harry Styles said doesn’t make sense. That’s new.
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Following Harry’s confession you truly have no idea what to do, so you just go with the flow. He seemingly stays the same when it comes to you, friendly, but still keeping his distance. Nothing changes in the lecture hall, he just occasionally asks if you’re alright and you are guessing he only wants to know if you are having any trouble with Victor, but you haven’t even heard from him since you’ve blocked his number and you hope it’s going to stay like that.
You meet up with him and the band a few times outside of school and it’s not necessarily awkward, but you can tell he is keeping his distance from you, he never sits next to you or has one-on-one conversations with you, only if it’s necessary. The only time he dares to be alone with you is when he sometimes offers you to drive you home. You usually say no at first, but he insists, so you end up sitting in silence in the car until you arrive home, say goodbye and end of story.
No one in school even suspects that you’ve made your way into Harry’s group of friends, only Nat and Eden knows about it but they swore to keep it a secret, but you didn’t tell them about Harry’s confession. Whatever it is that’s happening between you and Harry, you would never put him into a situation he is trying to avoid so badly. You sit in his classes like everyone else, but while all the other girls are drooling over him, trying to get just slightly closer to him in any way possible, you sit in silence and think about the precious times when you get to see him outside of school.
Even with him being so distant towards you, you can’t help but slowly start falling for him. He doesn’t have to talk to you or be direct to you, it’s enough that you see him as himself, you see him with his friends, how he acts whenever he is not teaching, standing on the podium. And he is an amazing person, there’s no doubt about that.
The semester is gradually moving forward, once you get back from fall break, you basically move into the library, studying for your exams and finishing up all your papers. December arrives pretty fast and before you realize, the whole town is decorated with lights and Christmas trees everywhere, the shops are trying to lure customers in with all the sales and the Christmas shopping officially starts.
One weekend, when there’s only two weeks left of school before everyone heads home for the holidays, you and Nat go for a shopping trip, trying to buy every gift in time so you don’t have to worry about that at least last minute.
Wandering around the mall you naturally take a trip to the bookstore, always ready to buy something new to read. Nat dives into the cooking books wanting to get one for her mother while you’re just aimlessly looking through the shelves. As your eyes are running through the titles in the psychology department, you stop at one particular book, pulling it off the shelf as you can’t help but smile to yourself.
The secrets of Classical Conditioning.
You flip through the pages and though it doesn’t seem to be a groundbreaking work, it’s just explaining Pavlov’s experiment and further uses of it, you still decide to buy it.
That evening you sit at your desk, the book open in front of you, a pen next to it as you try to think of something to write into it. At first you just wanted to give it to Harry as it is, but you figured it would be a nice gesture to write a few words into it he could always read when he opens the book. After some consideration, you finally grab the pen and start writing.
-
Dear Harry,
I will always think of you whenever I hear of Mr. Ivan Petrovics Pavlov or Classical Conditioning. Thank you for another amazing semester and I’m happy I got to see you without standing on a podium. You are an amazing man, never change.
Happy holidays,
Y/N
-
Last week of school, you go to the Wednesday lecture, the last one of the semester with the book sitting in your bag. All through the 90 minutes class as Harry is having an open discussion about the lecture with the students, you keep debating whether you should give him the book or not. When the lecture is over and Harry wishes everyone happy holidays, you grab it from your bag and holding it to your chest you wait until there’s only a few people in the room. Eden has already left to hand in a paper so you walk down the rows on your own, eyes on the man behind his desk who is now packing up his papers and notes, getting ready to leave.
“Harry?” you faintly speak his name, grabbing his attention as he looks up at you from behind the desk. You glance down at the book in your hands and before you could change your mind, you place it down in front of him. “This is… for you.”
His gaze wanders down to the book, then back at you as he stares at you in awe, obviously surprised by the gesture.
“What’s this for?”
“Christmas gift?” you answer unsurely with a nervous chuckle. “I just saw it at the store and… thought of you.”
“Y/N, I can’t—“
“Yes you can and you will,” you roll your eyes at him, tired of hearing all these negations from him. He can’t, he won’t, he shouldn’t… for once, he definitely will if it’s on you. “Take it as my payment for the book you gave me.”
His eyes soften at you before he looks down at the book again, reading the title before he chuckles to himself.
“Thank you, Y/N,” he then finally says, accepting that you won’t let him return the gift under any circumstances.
“Have a nice Christmas, Harry,” you smile at him shyly, hands holding onto the strap of your bag as you start walking away.
“You too,” he faintly says and turning around you start walking, but then he stops you. “Y/N, wait!”
You stop in your track and face him curiously. He seems hesitant, stepping away from the desk, walking closer to you but still keeping some distance between the two of you.
“Do you… have plans for New Year’s Eve?”
“I, uhh—No, not yet.”
“If you happen to be back in town by then… Sarah is having this little get together. I have a feeling she already invited you, but if you said no because of me, I want you to know that it’s fine by me. Would be nice if you could come.”
He is right, Sarah did invite you over, but you kindly declined thinking Harry wouldn’t appreciate if you spent it with them. You wanted to give him a breather, have a night with his friends without having to avoid you all the time, but it seems like the situation has changed for him.
“You don’t have to invite me just because I gave you a gift, Harry.”
“It’s not about that,” he shakes his head softly. “I can tell you are getting along well with Sarah and all the others. I want you to know that I would never stand in the way and you are very much welcomed at any and all events.”
He seems and sounds genuine, you don’t see any sign of him just saying it because Sarah asked him to or something. No, this definitely came from him.
“Okay, I’ll… think about it,” you tell him with a warm smile. “See you around,” you wave at him before walking out of the room.
You don’t get to see his reaction to the words you wrote into the book and for a while, you’re not even sure he saw it. Maybe he took it home and put it on his shelf without even having a look into it, but two days later, when you’re already packing, getting ready to go home for Christmas, you get a notification that at first confuses you.
Breakfast is now following you!
You open Instagram with furrowed eyebrows as you go to the profile that just followed you. It’s a small account and private, of course and you almost close it thinking it’s just someone random when you see that it’s followed by both Sarah and Charlotte.
Could this be Harry’s profile?
The username is colazione8, it doesn’t give away much but now that you are thinking about it, it’s perfect if he wanted to stay unnoticed by his students that surely can use Instagram way better than him.
You tap on the follow request button and anxiously wait for an approval, hoping that the person behind the account is still online. You wait and wait, slowly losing hope but then the notification finally arrives. Your request has been approved.
You tap on the profile vigorously and three pictures appear in front of you. One is a picture of some random building, the first ever posted is a plate of nicely served breakfast of some sort and then there’s one that features the person you were desperately hoping to see.
It’s a picture of Harry sitting at a big dining table, a glass of wine in front of him as he is squinting his eyes towards the camera. You zoom into the picture just to make sure it’s him, but his features are clearer than daylight, it really is Harry that just followed you.
You’re still stalking his very private and not too eventful profile when you get a message from him, making your heart skip a beat.
Harry: Hey! Just wanted to thank you again for the gift, it’s really thoughtful. Read what you wrote in it… thank you, Y/N.
Y/N: I meant every word. Thank you for everything you did this semester!
It takes a few minutes for a response to arrive from him.
Harry: Are you already on your way home?
Y/N: Not yet, leaving tomorrow morning.
Harry: If I drop by your place in 20, can you come down for a sec?
Y/N: Sure!
Though your response seemed totally cool, you started panicking right away. What does this mean? Why is he coming here? Are you in trouble? You couldn’t be, you didn’t do anything wrong.
You quickly change out of your worn-out sweats and stained shirt, putting on a pair of jeans and a black hoodie, not wanting to see him looking like a total wreck. You sit on your bed, anxiously checking your phone every ten seconds to see if he has messaged you and those twenty minutes never seem to pass.
Then your phone finally chimes again.
Harry: I’m here.
Y/N: Be there in a sec.
You jump into a pair of trainers and grabbing your keys from the little sidetable you have in the hallway you storm out of the apartment, running down the stairs. As you walk out you stop in your track for a second, for some reason you were expecting the minivan, but this time, it’s a black Range Rover that’s parked in front of your building and Harry emerges from it the moment you step outside.
“Hey!” he smiles at you, shutting the door before he jogs around and you notice the little gift bag in his hands.
“Harry, is this what I think it is? Because you shouldn’t have, really,” you tell him right away as he stands in front of you, glancing down at the little bag in his hands.
“What? So you are allowed to give me a gift, but I’m not allowed to do the same?” he asks with a cheeky smile.
“But you already gave me one!”
“That wasn’t a real gift, so no,” he shakes his head, too stubborn to let it go. So instead, he nervously glances down at the little bag before handing it to you. “Here. Happy Christmas. But you can only open it when I’m gone, alright?”
“Why?”
“Just… please,” he breathes out and you not, keeping your curious hands to yourself.
“Alright. Well, thank you, Harry.”
“Sure. Um, have a great winter break and… I’ll see you around,” he smiles, walking around the car back to the side of the driving seat.
“You too, Harry. See you!”
You see him drive away as you walk back into the building, basically running up the stairs to your apartment, dying to see what’s in the little bag. Once you are locked in the safe haven of your room, you throw yourself to the bed and reach into the bag, finding a small box. One that’s usually used for jewelry. You pull it out with shaky fingers and take a deep breath before opening it.
Inside sits the cutest little silver ring you’ve literally ever seen. It’s thin and very detailed, tiny little strawberries lining next to each other and that’s the whole ring. Just the little strawberries, but it’s still the cutest you’ve ever seen. You put it on and it fits perfectly on your ring finger, holding up your hand you take a good look at how it sits on your finger. You’re in love with it.
Rolling to your back on the bed you stare up at the ceiling with a heavy heart aching for a man you know will never be yours, but you just can’t help it. The heart wants what it wants, right?
Reaching for your phone you type him a quick message
Y/N: Harry, thank you so much! It’s beautiful! But you shouldn’t have bought me anything!
Harry: I’m glad you like it :)
Y/N: I love it.
He doesn’t respond, just likes your message.
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Christmas is always the same, especially because your family just never had those juicy dramas that could ruin any family events. Holidays have always been quiet and loving, pretty predictable. It’s good to be home again and spend quality time with your loved one, though your mind keeps wandering to a particular someone.
Sarah mentioned that Harry has traveled home to his mom and sister and from time to time you catch yourself thinking about what he could be possibly doing at the moment.
The only interaction between the two of you is when you post a photo with your sister and brother at Christmas dinner and he likes the photo, but nothing more. He doesn’t post or add to his story so you are left with your own elaborate fantasies of what he could possiblybe doing at home.
Sarah convinces you to spend the New Year’s Eve at hers and you are accepting the invitation a lot easier now that Harry has told you he is fine with you joining.
Just one day before the 31st you get back to your apartment and spend the second to last night of the year spiraling about the whole situation with Harry. Where are you two standing as of right now? Was his gift a gesture with a deeper meaning behind it?
You can’t step over the fact that you are not his student anymore. He has officially graded you and you’ve received your credits for his class, the ties are off, but he situation might still be risky and you doubt Harry is willing to change his mind about what he told you earlier. He made it clear that nothing will ever happen between the two of you, however you can’t help but feel a little hopeful that the new semester might bring a change into that.
After two hours spent in front of your closet and at least three mental breakdowns you finally decide to wear a black turtleneck dress which is just the perfect mixture of modest and sexy at the same time. You feel anxious to see Harry again, not sure how to act around him following your little gift exchange. There’s a chance he’ll just shut himself off once again and avoid you all night, you can’t tell.
Sarah’s place is already buzzing by the time you arrive, several guests are lounging in the living room and kitchen, some soft music is playing and it appears that everyone is enjoying the evening so far, judging from the laughter you hear from time to time.
“I’m so glad you came!” Sarah envelopes in a tight hug when you arrive.
“Thank you for inviting me. Here, brought some snacks,” you hand her the grocery bag you picked up on your way, not wanting to arrive empty-handed.
“Oh, you are an angel, some on in, make yourself home, take whatever you want to eat or drink!” she gestures around before bringing the bag into the kitchen.
The cozy home is already filled with a lot of people you don’t know, but you also spot Charlotte and Mitch right away so you take the safe spot in their little circle. You try your best to stay present in the conversation but you keep glancing around, looking for one particular person.
And then you finally see him. Harry emerges from the little hallway that leads to the bedroom and bathroom with Adam, seemingly deep in conversation as he nurses a beer in his hand. His checkered slacks and vintage printed t-shirt makes him appear so casual, if you didn’t know him you wouldn’t even guess that he is actually a professor.
Harry laughs at something Adam just told him and his eyes glide around the room until they find you standing near the kitchen. He stops in his track, gaze running down your figure before it returns to your eyes and he seems to be in awe, like he doesn’t entirely believe it’s you he is seeing even though he knew you’d be coming. There’s nothing you want more than to run across the room and throw yourself into his arms. You spent way too much time thinking about him during Christmas and seeing him in the flesh now is a mixture of feelings you can’t really describe just now.
Neither of you leaves the conversation you are in the middle, but you keep glancing towards each other. You’re nervously moving the strawberry ring around your finger, feeling his burning gaze on your figure all the time. You haven’t taken it down since he has given it to you, it partially made it harder for you to stop thinking about him, because the jewelry was quite a loud reminder every time you glanced down at your hands.
Two drinks later your sister calls you, as always she wants to say happy new year before the lines get hectic at midnight, so you move out to the small balcony facing the street as you talk to your sister. The spicy night air feels amazing on your heated up skin, the turtleneck dress was a good choice, but it’s definitely getting hotter with each drink, especially with Harry’s lingering eyes as well. When you end the call you decide to stay outside a little longer, take a few moments to yourself.
You jump a little when you hear the sliding door open and you’re surprised to see Harry walk out.
“Hey, thought you might need this,” he smiles softly, holding a blanket in his hands.
“Oh, thank you,” you mumble and let him wrap it around your shoulders. It provides just enough heat that your lips are not shaking anymore from the cold.
“What are you doing out here alone? Not enjoying the evening?”
“I am, I was just on the phone with my sister.”
“She’s older than you, right?” he asks and you tilt your head a little looking at him.
“How do you know that?”
“I, uhh… You have a lot of pictures with her on your Instagram,” he admits with a nervous chuckle.
“Have you been stalking my profile?” you tease him, but he clearly takes it way more serious than you intended it to be.
“No, I swear it’s not like that, I just—“ he stammers but you cut him off placing a hand on his arms that are crossed over his chest.
“Harry, I was just teasing you. It’s fine,” you assure him, giving him a gentle squeeze before you are about to pull your hand back, but his hold stops you. He takes your hand in his, gently bringing it closer to his face as he examines the ring sitting on your finger.
“You’re wearing it,” he breathes out, a small cloud emitting from his pink lips as his thumb softly runs over the ring.
“Of course. I told you I love it.”
You can’t ignore the shiver that runs down your spine at the feeling of his warm palm against yours, his thumb delicately running over not just the ring, but down your finger as well before he lets go of your hand. You already miss his touch.
“So, how was Christmas?” he asks clearing his throat.
“Good, nothing extra. What about yours?”
“Same, went home to the family.”
“Do you often visit them?”
“Not as often as I would want to, but I’m trying to go every couple of months.” Harry turns towards the street, eyes running along the not too busy road that stretches past Sarah’s building. His hand comes up to the railing, fingers slightly drumming on it. “How come you didn’t bring anyone tonight?”
“Well, my roommates are still home and I also didn’t think you’d like the idea to have another student of yours around.”
“Right, yeah,” he nods, but you can tell something else is still on his mind. “So… no boyfriend to bring?”
You give him a puzzled look. Is this his way of asking if you are seeing anyone at the moment? Because if it is, it’s kind of ridiculous.
“No, not really. I guess you can say I’m not looking for one actively.”
“How come?” he asks with raised eyebrows, his body turning towards you as he leans against the railing. You give him a ‘really?’ look. You think about getting a little sassy and teasing with him, but then decide to just be straightforward instead.
“Because I’m kind of into my Methodology of Cultural Anthropology professor.”
Harry’s lips part as his eyes pierce into yours and for a moment you really think that he is about to flip, tell me how dare you say such thing to him and curse you out, but a second passes and his gaze softens as he lets out a shaky breath.
“Y/N…”
“What? I just answered your question,” you innocently shrug, looking away from him. Despite this long and weird game the two of have been playing these past months, this is the first time you openly admitted that you have a thing for him.
“You know how complicated it is and I told you that nothing can happen.” He shakes his head in defeat, a hint of disappointment in his tone, but it just grinds your gears.
“What, so you can ask about my dating life but I can’t say that I’m into you? How is that fair?”
“That’s not the same.”
“Well I think it is. Both are highly inappropriate to bring up in our situation, don’t you think? Yet you’re trying to put all the blame on me.”
“Alright, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Let’s just… forget about it. I really don’t want to fight with you.”
“Because you’re afraid I might actually win?” you sassily reply, crossing your arms on your chest.
“I’m just trying to do the right thing, okay? Would you… let me?”
“If you haven’t realized it yet, I’m trying really hard to stay in my lane, but you’re not making it any easier.”
“I’m trying too, okay?” he growls, clearly losing his calmness at this point. “I’m really fucking trying, Y/N, but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do!”
“You’re the one making it hard!”
“It’s not my fucking fault I can’t stop thinking about you!”
“Well it’s not my fault either!” you snap at him, both of you raising your voice, the rest of the party oblivious about the screaming match the two of you are having on the balcony. “If you’re so set on not letting anything happen, why do you come to me and act the opposite?”
“The opposite?!”
“Yes! It’s not quite appropriate to gift your student with a ring or ask them about their dating life. Or is it all new information to you?”
“You started with the gifting!”
“So what? You could have just left it there, but you didn’t. It’s not that it didn’t make me happy, but don’t try to put all the blame on me for saying something when you’re already crossing the lines.”
Harry stares at you with a hard look and you’d pay great amounts to actually read his thoughts at this moment. His jaw clenches as he exhales sharply, eyes turning away from you, as if he couldn’t even bear to look at you.
“Make up your fucking mind,” you growl under your breath as you push your way past him and walk inside before he could get a word out.
For a well-respected, educated and smart man, Harry can act pretty fucking stupid, you think. He is not being fair and you will not apologize for anything you’ve said. If he doesn’t want anything to do with you, he needs to stay in his lane and not dance on the line, poking the sleeping lion. He doesn’t get to fuck around and then put all the blame on you, that’s just not how it works and he needs to learn that.
In the last hour that’s left until midnight you mingle with the guests and try to keep your thoughts of Harry at bay, though it’s quite the challenge since he lingers around you, keeping his eyes on you all the time, as if he is trying to piss you off or something, but you’re determined to be a mature adult and keep your composure.
You’re getting tired of this game and you’re not sure anymore if you are willing to wait around until Harry makes his mind up. Not when he doesn’t keep his own rules at least.
“Come on,” you mumble to yourself as you’re trying to open up a new bottle of wine, but the screw just wouldn’t move, no matter what you do. A hand reaches forward and wraps around the neck of the bottle, interrupting your pathetic misery.
“Let me help you.”
You let Harry take the bottle, biting into your bottom lip as you turn around and watch him easily open the bottle you’ve been fighting with the past ten minutes, he grabs your empty glass from the counter and fills it.
“Thank you,” you mumble when he hands it back and you take a sip right away. He places the bottle to the counter, fingers strumming on the surface before he takes a deep breath and speaks up.
“Y/N, I’m sorry.”
“For what exactly?”
“For the way I acted. You were totally right, I called you out for things that I did myself too, that was unfair of me.” He clears his throat, leaning against the counter with his back side as he crosses his arms on his chest. It brings out how toned his arms really are and you give yourself half a second to drool over that before you take another sip from your drink, forcing yourself to keep your thoughts under control.
“Thanks for acknowledging it,” you mumble, not sure what to say exactly. The two of you stand like that in silence, eyes roaming the guests, something clearly weighing down on both of you, but it’s hard to name and address it.
You can tell he is overthinking, the gears are almost visible, turning in that smart head of his, but you don’t want him to go into depths he shouldn’t. He really is making a bigger deal out of the situation that it already is, but it’s going to wreck him.
“Okay, I want to know, what was the worst way someone tried to flirt with you?”
Harry turns to you with a puzzled look, but you just sip on your wine, waiting for his answer.
“Um, I don’t… really keep track of it.”
“Oh come on,” you give him a look. “I know you have a story. I wanna hear it!”
Your eyes meet and he is searching in yours, trying to figure out what’s the sudden change in your mood when an hour ago you were ready to throw him off the balcony. Truth is you are just frustrated, because the situation feels so impossible. You never had to deal with such an amazing man, knowing he is into you as well, but you just can’t have him. The struggle is hard for the both of you but you can’t blame him entirely. Hating on him because he is not willing to take a risk that could easily ruin his entire life but at least his academic career is just not fair and you won’t put him through that.
Harry sees where you’re coming from and he shoots you a thankful smile before it turns into a smirk as he looks down at his hands.
“Professor Davids from the department of linguistics asked me to be her date for her ex-husband’s wedding.”
“What?” you gasp with wide eyes. “For real?”
“Yeah,” he chuckles. “She started swinging by my office all the time, trying to chat me up and then one day she asked if I wanted to go with her, that we would be staying at this nice hotel and all… she really thought it was a good idea.”
“That’s very awkward,” you laugh, entertained by the thought that Professor Davids would go so low when it came to dating. “I assume, you declined the invitation.”
“Faster than ever,” he chuckles making you laugh even louder. “Okay, your turn.”
“What?”
“I told you an awkward story, now it’s your turn.”
“Um, the worst was probably a promposal I got.”
“A promposal?” he asks with a puzzled look, his forehead creasing as he pulls his eyebrows together.
“Yeah, when they ask you out to go to prom.” “Oh, yeah. Didn’t know it had a specific name.”
“Because you are way too British,” you tease him and he just gives you a narrow-eyed look, but you can see the smirk hiding on his lips. “Well, anyway, I was dating a guy senior year, but this other one was convinced he could win me over and take me to prom. He brought a fucking mariachi band to school and gave me a serenade in the middle of the hallway while my boyfriend was standing next to me. He asked me to prom so confidently at the end of the song, like he actually had a shot but it was so painfully awkward,” you laugh at the memory shaking your head and Harry joins, finding it quite entertaining.
“He really did that to himself.”
“He did, I felt bad a little, but what was I supposed to do?”
You slip into telling more and more awkward stories, staying in the kitchen you create a little bubble, the rest of the guests don’t seem to exist as you enjoy yourself with Harry. This is the most carefree and loosest you’ve ever seen him around you and you quite like this version of him. So easy to talk to and even funnier than his usual self.
A little before midnight Sarah runs around with champagne, filling everyone’s glass, getting ready for the countdown. You and Harry join Charlotte, Adam and his wife in the corner of the living room as everyone is slowly getting excited for the last moments of the year.
Looking around you see a lot of couples, holding hands, hugging, clearly planning to snog the moment the clock hits midnight and when you glance at Harry on your right you’re convinced he is thinking about the same thing.
You’re not naïve, you don’t think he is going to kiss you, but you still allow yourself to play with the thought just a little. He is standing so close to you, just the tiniest move and you’d be touching him, skin to skin again, feel him under your—
The thought is abruptly interrupted when you feel his warm palm wrap around your hand, your whole body freezing and for a split second you think it’s just an accident, that his touch will disappear before you could even blink, but it stays there. Harry maneuvers his fingers until they are laced together with yours and he keeps a firm hold of your hand, hanging between the two of you, staying hidden because you’re standing close to each other. Your breath catches in your throat and you’re afraid if you dare to move he’ll let go of your hand.
Another version of yourself would laugh hysterically at how worked up you are right now just because he is holding your hand, but the you that’s actually in the moment is about to burst just by this small touch. You have absolutely no idea what it means or why he chose to do it, but you don’t really care about it. You just want to absorb all the heat you feel coming from him where his palm meets yours, fingers braided together tightly, as if he is trying to keep you next to him, like he thinks you are about to disappear and it’s way of anchoring you to him, but truth is you don’t want to go anywhere.
“One minute, everyone!” Sarah sings in excitement as she turns on the TV and puts a huge clock on the screen that’s counting the seconds as well. You shyly glance to the side, finding Harry standing motionless next to you and when he notices you looking, his eyes meet yours. He looks terrified, like a lost little boy and you can’t tell if he is afraid of your reaction or because of what his actions might bring on him. But you want him to know that you are completely okay with where it’s heading.
“Ten! Nine! Eight!” The countdown begins and you inch closer to Harry so you’re pressed against his side, his body heat radiating into your skin even through the layers of clothes you two are wearing.
Harry leans down the moment you lift your head, his face is so close, it wouldn’t take much for you to finally kiss him, do the one thing you haven’t stopped thinking about for months.
“Y/N…” he breathes out and it’s a tortured plea, he is begging you to stop him from doing something he might regret, but you are dying for him to finally sin. You want him to give it up already, you have absolutely no desire to be the burden that keeps him in his lane. You need him to cross the line and stay there.
“I’m not stopping you, Harry,” you tell him quietly, the urge to close the distance between the two of you is burning inside you.
“Seven! Six! Five!” the countdown continues, but it all tones out, you can only see, hear and feel Harry.
“We can’t,” he whines, closing his eyes as he exhales shakily.
“We can, we just shouldn’t,” you correct him, his eyes snap open and meet yours again. You can tell he is so close to finally giving in and let his feelings and desires take control and you will not try to stop him.
His face inches the tiniest bit closer and his forehead is almost touching yours now, you can see every curly eyelash that frames his gorgeous green eyes that are now filled with fear and nerves.
“Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” Everyone screams together as the clock finally hits midnight while you just stare at Harry holding your breath, praying that he is finally ballsy enough to take this step.
“Harry, please,” you beg, not too proud of it, but you just can’t take it any longer. His hand is gripping yours tightly as he closes his eyes again and for a second you think that it’s gonna happen. He is going to give up the act and finally kiss you.
But right when the moment is burning the most… he pulls back and your heart sinks.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his hand lets go of yours and it feels like your arm is ripped off, tears are welling in your eyes.
“Yeah, me too,” you mumble under your breath, chugging down the champagne before making your way through the living room, determined to leave as soon as possible.
“Y/N, wait, where are you going?” you hear him calling after you, but you don’t stop. You get rid of the empty champagne glass and grab your coat from the rack, storming out of the apartment as if you had somewhere to be.
Tears are streaming down your cheeks as you run down the stairs, almost tripping over your own feet. You hear the other pair of feet running behind you and Harry calling after you, but it’s not stopping you.
You push the front door of the building open, but it’s heavy, so it slows you down just enough that Harry can grab your wrist when you are about to start running down the street.
“Y/N, don’t go, let me explain!”
“No!” you snap at him. “I don’t fucking want to hear your explanation! I’m done, Harry! I’m fucking done! I was trying to be patient and respectful, I didn’t want to make it worse for you and let you do your thing, but you kept dancing back and forth and I can’t keep doing this, so I guess I’m sorry too.”
You’re choking on your own words that echo from the walls, the street is almost entirely empty, the world is still celebrating the new year while you’re at your breaking point. Harry stands in front of you, defeated and panic all over his face as he listens to you.
“I will not sit around and let you play your little games any longer, because you can’t make up your mind whether you want me or not.”
“Y/N I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life!” he snaps, throwing his hands into the air. “That’s the problem! This shouldn’t be happening, but I can’t fucking stop thinking about you, I can’t stop wanting you!”
“Then do something about it!” you beg through your tears.
“I can’t!”
“Yes you can!” you scream at him. “You can but you probably just don’t want me enough to actually do it! And it’s fine, but—“
You don’t get to finish your rant because Harry firmly grabs your arm, yanks you towards him and with one swift movement, his lips are crashing against yours.
It all happens so fast but your body reacts before your mind could process what’s really happening, fists bunching a handful of his sweater as you pull him against you, his hands flying up to your face, cupping them confidently as he kisses you hard and demandingly.
It’s like a fucking dam that’s been broken, everything you both kept bottled up and under control just breaks loose and it’s a kind of a wild fight for trying to devour each other now that all lines has been crossed an blurred into nothingness.
He is the dominant one, but you do some pushing and pulling on your own as well. You’re forced to take a few steps backwards, back arching at how forcefully he is pushing forward, lips smacking against each other over and over again, his tongue meeting yours, swirling and dancing around with yours, a shameless moan escaping your mouth.
His hands roam down your sides and you jumps when they reach the back of your thighs, legs wrapping around his waist. He keeps you up easily, fingers digging into your flesh where your butt meets your thighs and this angle allows you to be completely pressed up against him and feel every single inch of his body that burns for you.
It’s beyond anything you’ve ever imagined, you’re not sure it’s because of the build-up that led to this point or simply the chemistry you two got, but it blows your mind, making you question how you could go this long without ever kissing him.
“Harry, I want you,” you moan when his lips move down to your jawline, kissing and biting on the soft skin, tasting you wherever he can reach.
“I want you too, Y/N,” he breathes out resting his forehead against yours before kissing you again.
“Take me home then.”
“Are you sure?” he pants as you run your fingers through his hair and tug on his gently, earning a whimper from his perfectly pink and swollen lips. You love this satisfied dew on his face, especially because you know it’s because of you.
“Never been more sure about anything in my life.”
You unwrap your legs from around his waist and return to the ground, but not without him leaning down to kiss you once more before he grabs your hand and starts pulling you down the street. You spot his Rover right away and start sprinting, Harry following you right behind with a carefree laugh.
Settled in your seats he starts driving, but you can’t keep yourself away from him. His hand that’s not on the steering wheel is gripping your thigh as you lean over the console and start kissing his cheek, jawline and the corner of his mouth as one of your hands runs down his chest until it reaches his pants.
“Love, if you move further down we’re gonna crash,” he warns you with a shaky breath. “I drank a little too and I’m already fucking gone from kissing you, if you touch me I’m gonna lose it.”
You giggle, pressing one last kiss to his lips before sitting back in your seat. You need every bit of your patience and self-control to stay modest on the way back to his place. Hands gripping his you bring it up to your lips, kissing his knuckles gently as he speeds down the empty streets. It’s still barely over midnight, everyone is still celebrating, oblivious to how important this moment is to the two of you.
You really thought this would be the end. When he pulled away at midnight all hope was lost for you and it broke your heart to know that he will never choose you over his better judgment.
It’s your first time at Harry’s but you don’t really care to look around as the two of you make your way inside the townhouse, lips already melted together as you stumble through the dark hallway, not wanting to let go of each other. You successfully make it into his bedroom and Harry turns on the bedside lamp while you’re already eagerly getting rid of your coat and shoes. He does the same, clothes start to litter the hardwood flooring hastily, but neither of you is thinking about them. Harry scoops you into his arms once again, kissing your lips passionately as he bunches your dress up at your hips until he can finally grip the end of it and pull it over your head.
“Oh shit!” you giggle, the turtleneck getting stuck on your head for a moment before you’re free from it.
“That big head of yours,” he chuckles kissing your forehead.
“Shut up,” you smack his chest gently, pushing him down to the bed so you can straddle him, knees on his sides as you sit on his lap, lips meeting again.
He throws his hands up when you start pulling his t-shirt up and once the fabric is off of his body, his arms wrap around you, pulling you close to his chest. Your skin meets his and it feels heavenly, only little clothing separating the two of you at this point.
Harry scoots backwards and then throws you to the mattress, getting on top of you without your lips ever parting. His hips are pushed against yours and you can feel everything through the thin material of his slacks. Without even knowing you grind your hips, your core meeting his erection in the movement and he moans uncontrollably at the sensation.
“Fuck, Y/N,” he breathes against your lips and you can’t push your smirk down at his reaction.
“Yeah, fuck me, Harry,” you tease him before your lips get occupied once again.
His hands work fast. He unclasps your bra without you even noticing, the straps falling from your shoulders before he gets rid of it, throwing it across the room as if it did something against him. When his hungry eyes fall down on your naked chest you see the same kind of torture in his eyes that was there when he was fighting with himself before.
“Harry, stop thinking,” you tell him, fingers massaging his scalp as you lace them through his hair. “It’s fine, we’re fine.”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he questions again and you pull him down for a reassuring kiss.
“One hundred percent. I want this. I want you.”
“Oh God, I want you so bad,” he whines again, lips kissing down your jawline, neck and collarbone before they attack your breasts.
He cups them, licks and bites them, making you a whimpering mess underneath him every time his tongue meets your hot skin. This man will be the death of you. As he moves down your body, his fingers hook into the waistband of your panties and he glances up at your for reassurance once again, you nod eagerly, lifting your hips so he can easily glide the fabric down and off of your body. Harry sits up, eyes burning down on your naked body lying in front of him as he undoes his own pants, pushing them down his long legs until they join the rest on the floor. You push yourself up when his hands move to his boxers, you want to be the one to take them off. He gladly backs his hands off when you reach out and start tugging them down. He kneels on the bed as you pull the fabric down and his erection finally becomes free, making you ache for him immediately. Once the boxers are out of the way completely you want to reach out to touch him, but he stops you, hands wrapping around your wrist before they could reach him.
Your eyes snap up to meet his darkened gaze, questioning why he stopped you.
“Y/N, I… If we do this, there’s no going back,” he breathes out with a pained look. You push yourself up to your knees so you meet his height, hands cupping his cheeks as you pull him into a sweet kiss that he hesitantly but returns.
“I know what you think about us, Harry, but I assure you, that I’m completely fine with it. But if you don’t want it to happen, we can just… lie here. I’m fine with that too. Kissing you was already such a gift for me,” you smile at him, gently pecking his lips.
“I just don’t want you to wake up and regret it. I’m not pushing you, right?”
“If anyone, it’s me pushing you,” you chuckle softly, a small smile tugging on his lips as well. “You didn’t push anything on me, alright? We are both adults and it’s completely fine. We’ll figure out the rest, I just want to focus on you now. Can I do that?”
Harry nods, still looking a little unsure, but you can tell he is starting to settle in his mindset. It’s not just him that worries about the other regretting something. You know how torn up he is about anything that’s about you and though you want him more than anything, you still don’t want to push him into doing something he is not entirely comfortable with.
“Do you want this?” you softly ask, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“I do. I’m just—“
“Then it’s all good, Harry. We both want it, nothing else matters for now,” you tell him, wanting nothing else than to finally see him enjoy himself entirely. “Lay down for me,” you tell him, feeling like you taking the lead is a good idea now.
He does as you asked him to, lying down on the mattress, head sinking into his pillow as he blinks up at you, watching you swing a leg over him before settling to sit on his thighs.
“Can I touch you?” you ask, wanting to make sure he feels completely comfortable with you. Pleasing him is your number one priority right now. He nods, lips parting as he watches your hand reach out and wrap around the base of his erected length. He whimpers under your touch, his eyes fall closed when you gently pump him a few times, his cock fits so well in your palms, like pieces of a puzzle.
Leaning down you kiss his fern tattoos on each sides of his hips before placing one to his leaking tip, sliding your hands to the base before you slowly and gradually take him into your mouth.
You’re not planning to make him cum with your mouth, but you’ve been dying to taste him and it’s just as good as you imagined. The way his body reacts to your touch, the noises that leave his kissable lips, this man is completely out of this world and you want to explore every inch of his body.
You bob your head a couple of times, just enough to wet his length and work him up for what’s coming next. When you let him go of your mouth and you move a little up on his body so that his cock can be lined up with your hole, you look at him to see if he is still down to continue. One hand holding his cock, the other one flat on his naked chest, you ask him a question with your eyes that he answers with his hands squeezing your hips.
“I have the implant. Do you want to put on a condom?” you ask him at last.
“I trust you,” he breathes out. “Do you want me to put one on?”
“I want to feel you,” you tell him shaking your head.
“Okay,” he nods so it’s settled.
Leaning down you peck his lips one last time before you push the head inside and then slowly ease yourself down on his throbbing length.
“Oh fuck!”
“Harry, oh my God!” you both moan at the sensation of him finally entering you. You’ve had your fair share of sexual intercourses throughout your life, but none of them felt this good. None of them pleasured you this good so fast and easily, just the feel of him being inside you is making you lose your mind.  
You start off slow, wanting to feel him just right, get used to his size, but as soon as you feel more comfortable, you pick up a faster pace. His fingers are digging into your flesh at your hips as he holds onto you for dear life, panting and moaning at your motions. He glides in and out of you perfectly, setting your senses on fire practically.
“Harry, you feel so good,” you gasp, getting lost in the feeling. Sex has always been a good experience for you, but with Harry it’s a whole different story. As if he just opened a completely new world you never even knew about before.
“Yeah? You’re gonna cum for me?”
“Yes! Oh fuck!”
Harry pushes himself up, an arm coming around your back as he easily flips the two of you over, your back gently hitting the soft mattress. He holds himself up above you, lips crashing with yours as he starts to do the work this time, thrusting in and out of you, his hips smacking against yours forcefully as you both nearing the end.
“You’re making me lose my fucking mind, Y/N,” he cries out, head falling to the crook of your neck and you wrap your arms around him as a shield, holding him tight against you.
It doesn’t take long after that. He is hitting just the right spots, making you moan his name over and over again as your orgasm slowly devours you and washes over your whole body while he is still relentlessly moving.
“Harry! Oh… Fuck!” you gasp, legs and hands shaking and you clench your muscles around him, throwing him over the edge with you. He falls out of his rhythm, his cock twitching inside you as he moans against the hot skin of your neck, coming undone in your arms.
Nothing has ever felt this intense and mind-blowing and you’re now sure you’re addicted to him, there’s no turning back, not that you want that.
He collapses on top of you, still inside you, his body weighing down on you heavily, but it feels just fine. You run your arms up and down his sides, kissing the side of his head as you are both trying to catch your breath. It takes a few minutes for him to come back to reality with you, he lifts his head and moves to the side so he is not crushing you anymore, but an arm remains thrown over your abdomen. His vibrant green eyes are shining like never before when they meet your tired gaze and cupping his face in your palm you pull him in for a slow kiss where you finally have the time to actually taste him without the rushing of your own needs and urges.
“How are you feeling?” you softly asking, knowing well how major this was for him. You wouldn’t want him to spiral and start to self-destruct because of what just happened.
“I’m feeling fine,” he murmurs lowly, his fingers dancing on your naked side. “Just still a little torn if I did the right thing.”
“You worry too much. We did nothing wrong.”
“Not sure everyone would agree with that.”
“Fuck everyone else,” you chuckle and a smile tugs on his lips as well. “I will not feel bad for having the best sex of my life with a hot as fuck man I’m really into,” you bluntly tell him, earning a smug grin.
“Best sex of your life, huh?”
“Not even ashamed to admit,” you nod into the pillow. “How… was it for you?” you shyly ask, afraid his answer might disappoint you. But Harry pulls you closer until you’re pressed up against his chest, his lips capture yours, kissing you fiercely, making your heart skip a few beats for sure.
“Fucking amazing, baby. Probably the best I ever had too,” he admits, lips brushing against yours as he speaks. A satisfied sigh leaves your lips as you nuzzle against his chest once he has rolled to his back.
Silence comes over the two of you, you’re listening to his steady heartbeat, mindlessly drawing patterns over his chest. Lifting your head your eyes meet his and you can tell he has been thinking hard about what this all means for the future now.
“I’m in,” you simply tell him.
“Huh?”
“If you are thinking that I might not want to do this with you, that I just wanted a good fuck, that’s not what I think of this. If you want to give us a chance, I’m totally in.”
“You think we can make it work?” he quietly asks, his voice barely more than just a whisper.
“Of course,” you smile at him warmly. “You don’t?”
“I do, I’m just… there are so many things that can go wrong.”
“Then… we’ll make them right.”
Harry breathes out through his nose, clearly having a hard time to take it as easy as you do and you wish you could magically make all his doubts go away.
Sitting up you put your hands on each of his sides, looking down at him determined to bring out his confidence in the two of you.
“We just have to be patient and careful until I finish. Then we are basically free. That’s just one more semester. It could be way worse, we can make it work for a couple of months before we can finally do whatever we want. That doesn’t sound that bad, does it?” Harry shakes his head, reaching up he tugs your hair behind your ear before running his fingers down the side of your face.
“So we are really doing this?” he breathes out, a small smile on his sweet, pink lips.
“Well, I’m surely not giving up on this, we came a long way to be here,” you chuckle. “Question is, are you gonna give up on us? On… me?”
“Hell no,” he chuckles softly as he shakes his head. You smile down at him and leaning down you peck his lips tenderly.
“Then… we really are doing this.”
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SEQUEL: 🌊 AN OCEAN AWAY 🌊
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theirbbygirl · 3 years
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Second Lead Syndrome
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Word Count: ~8.7k words
liked this? there’s more on my masterlist!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Comedy, Female reader insert
Description: Y/n and Minho have been friends for more than 2 years now, but suddenly she begins to see herself as the mere second lead in Minho’s story. Will she be the rare second lead who gets her own happy ending?
Warnings: some crying, themes of unrequited love (if there’s anything that I missed don’t hesitated to let me know!) 
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I’d only ever encountered Second Lead Syndrome in the dramas I’d watched. Wanting the girl to end up with the second lead who was so obviously the better and healthier choice, but like every avid watcher of kdramas, it's more than likely for the main leads to end up with each other, that was just how it worked. What I never thought I’d encounter was seeing it happen before my own eyes and experience it firsthand.
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Life was never supposed to be a kdrama. Life was supposed to be simple, a straight line, going from point A to B with no complications. But life never really went my way did it? It just had to throw in one variable, one man that had too much influence on my life. 
I couldn’t remember the first time I met Minho. It was probably sometime in the first grade when his family first moved in next to mine. But alas, we were both too young to remember exactly what sparked our friendship. One day we were strangers and the next we had given our parents a near heart attack when we both went after a stray cat on the way back home (my mom’s words, not ours).  From then my memories were filled with him, just us besties hanging out like anyone would with their best friend. First party, first mental breakdown, first drink, all with him. Soon enough we were in our final year of University, and ultimately, adults. 
The Minho I knew was laid back, not too extroverted but not too introverted either. While I completely contrasted him, always anxious about something, wanting perfection to the T, and completely and utterly introverted.  Our friendship, moving into University, sparked a lot of questions. You wouldn’t typically find the introverted straight-A student with the borderline badboy tsundere walking and laughing in the halls together, spending practically every waking moment together. But Minho didn’t care, and neither did I, so we moved through life pretty easily. 
One of the few things we had in common was our love for cats, and when we both foudn out there was a cat cafe just a few minutes walk from our campus, you best bet we spent too much of our time and money there. Studying, hanging out, anything you could imagine. If we weren’t in one of our dorms, we were more than likely to be in the cat cafe. 
Every day after class we’d go there and we’d complain about our least favorite professors and how lectures would seemingly last for longer than they should. Additionally, Minho had almost become akin to my own dormmate with how much time he spent in my dorm. He’d come in whenever he wished, stealing my frozen pizzas and sodas, using my Netflix account on my TV to watch weird National Geographic shows and make random comments like “that snake looks just like Kim Seungmin,” or “look its Hannie” whenever a squirrel came on screen. Minho was always there when I needed a drinking partner after bombing a test or assignment, pouring me shots of soju until I passed out and bringing me to my bed and tucking me in whiel he would sleep on the couch to make sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid in the middle of the night. 
Although, more people knew Minho’s name than mine, but that didn’t bother any of us. We continued on being friends as usual, and it felt like nothing would change that. Life was moving in a straight line like it should’ve always been.
At least, that’s what it felt like until February, just a few months before we graduated. 
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I make my way to our usual spot in the courtyard after buying an iced coffee and a snickers bar from the vending machine next to my classroom, I walk up behind Minho sitting on a bench when I find him staring out in front of him instead of looking at cat videos on his phone like he usually does. Slowing my walk, I trail my eyes to the vague direction he’s facing and see that he’s looking at Kim Seungmin and a girl chatting outside the classroom. I ignore the thought, opting to think that Minho must’ve spaced out thinking about how he would irritate Seungmin next class. I plop down next to him when he still doesn’t take note of my arrival, so I get right next to his ear and blow cold air into it, snickering when he jolts in surprise. 
“What was that for?” He whines, fake annoyed.
“You got lost up in your thoughts for a certain Kim Seungmin there.” I snicker some more, opening my snickers (hehe) bar.
Just as I’m about to take the first bite of the sugary goodness, the chocolate bar gets snatched out of my hands and a certain Lee Minho takes an obnoxious bite out of it, not even giving it back but eating it like it was his. I pout, watching him devour my snack, knowing that I couldn’t do anything to get it back. 
“For your information, I was not thinking about Kim Seungmin.” He says pointedly, slightly muffled by the chocolate in his mouth.
I sigh, knowing I wasn’t going to get that chocolate bar back any time soon, and open my iced coffee. “So what were you thinking about then?” I ask before taking a sip.
“Don’t know, spaced out.” Is all the answer I get and I highly doubt him, but I brush it off anyways and don’t pry. 
Minho and I slide into our usual conversation about assignments, plans for the week, and everything under the sun. We talk about how he’s planning to visit home the next day and stay for a weekend and how excited he is to see his cats after a long time, I unknowingly smile at his ramble about how talkative Dori is, and just sit back and listen. I never took into account how healing it was to just watch and listen to him talk, the sultry of his voice and his little exclamations of frustration or excitement that came once in a while. I had to catch myself from staring when he turned to look at me, having asked me a question I didn’t catch.
“Sorry what was that?” I ask.
“Am I that beautiful for you to have lost your hearing to my handsome face?” I couldn’t just tell him that that was basically what had happened, it would inflate his ego by too much and reveal everything I’d hidden thus far.
“The heck? No, I was thinking about how great it would be to get some peace and quiet while you’re not around this weekend.” I lie, having Minho around is the only thing that brings me entertainment that isn’t endless sappy kdramas on my laptop, but he can never know that. 
Minho scoffs, says something under his breath that I don’t quite catch, then turns back to me. “You love me.” He says with a pout.
“Unfortunately I do.” 
That was the first of many inconspicuous confessions. 
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It was nearing 3 or 4 am and I was about halfway done with another kdrama when several knocks resound through the small living space. Knowing exactly who it is, I only shout back “you know the code!” and moments later the door opens. 
I don’t bother to get up and greet Minho, this exact scene has happened too many times for either of us to care at this point, and it doesn’t surprise me that the moment he enters he shouts, “Honey I’m home!” like we’re in some cheesy romcom. 
“Mhmm, welcome home, leech.” I enunciate the last word purposely, but I know he won’t bat an eye at the term. I continue to chew my popcorn while he wanders through my cabinets, looking for snacks. “There’s chips in the cabinet next to the fridge and sprite in there too. If you want more food order Chinese takeout.” 
“I don’t have my wallet.” I can practically hear his pout from where I sat, eyes unmoving from the TV screen. 
“You know where mine is, but you have to pay me back.” A few seconds pass with no response until suddenly he’s next to me and kissing my cheek.
“I loveeee you!” He says too sweetly, retreating back to the mini-kitchen to order takeout.
“Mhmm, I love you too.” I say, not loud enough for him to hear the confidence missing from my tone. 
Continuing to watch the episode of in front of me, I remain in my comfortable position, only moving to lift my legs when Minho comes back to sit on the couch under my legs and the blanket. 
“Oh you’re watching this one?” He asks, reaching into the bowl of popcorn I offer him.
“Yeah, didn’t have anything else to watch so I put it on since everyone seems to like it so much.” 
“Mm,” he hums while also indulging himself into the scenes playing in front of him. “You’re probably team potato guy, right?” 
“What kind of question is that? Of course I am!” I scoff.
“I don’t know, I still think she should end up with Jae-eon.”
“Are you crazy? He literally leads her on like every playboy and is ruining her mentality by not defining their relationship.” 
“Yeah, but they’re so cute together, and you can totally tell he feels something for her.” He argues.
“Just cause they’re cute together doesn’t mean they’re good for each other, the entire guy is a walking red flag, I don’t understand why she doesn’t just walk away when she’s had experience with a shit boyfriend.” I sigh.
“You, have major second lead syndrome.” He points an accusing finger at me.
“So what? It’s for good reason, the main lead is toxic as fuck and you can’t change my mind.” I upturn my nose, turning back to the TV and continuing to watch the episode. 
The mentioning of the second lead sends a flurry of thoughts into my brain for a reason I can’t comprehend. Sometimes the main leads aren’t that bad but still we want the main character to end up with the second lead, maybe out of our own natural selfishness because we prefer the second lead more. I shake the thoughts away, trying to convince myself that kdramas were only works of fiction and too cheesy to be real, yet for whatever reason I always felt a connection with the second leads, like our emotions directed to our crushes were the same, because I knew that I would always be the second lead in Minho’s story. 
Minho’s name was always called out more times than mine was growing up, which I didn’t really mind until our hangout time would be seriously cut down because he had to hang out with other friends. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that he had friends, but there was a little bit of selfishness in me that wanted him to myself.
A new drama and a few episodes later, plus Chinese takeout, lead to our eventual demise. We both fall asleep on the couch in less than comfortable positions and wake up with stiff-neck, us groaning at the pain. 
We continue on with our usual morning routines, taking turns freshening up in the bathroom before heading out for breakfast at Paws and Pastries since we were both too lazy to make food ourselves. Besides, hot coffee in the morning plus good sandwiches AND cats? What more could you ask for?
When we enter the cat cafe I notice a familiar face behind the cashier, it was the same girl Seungmin was talking to on Friday, and the same girl I caught Minho staring at. We walk up to the cashier, I order my food first, a simple breakfast sandwich with a coffee to go with it and wait next to Minho to finish ordering. 
I made the mistake up glancing up at his face as he was telling his order to her, Ahra, her name tag read. There was something in his eyes that glinted that I had never seen before, not when he talked to Han and not when he talked to me. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of emotion in the middle of my chest before forcing myself to look back down, inserting my card and paying for everything. I sent the girl a thank you and a kind smile after she told us our food would be right over, and both me and Minho went over to our usual table in the back corner next to the cat’s jungle gym and right up next to the window. I get lost in my thoughts while we begin playing with the cats we were so accustomed to. 
Like most second leads, I knew exactly what my feelings were. I was practically an adult, how could I miss the fast beating of my heart or my clammy hands whenever I was around him? But again, like most second leads, I knew I’d never get a chance with him, not when everything we did together was purely platonic. It was painfully obvious that I’d be stuck with an unrequited love for who knows how long, and I couldn’t just detach myself from him all of a sudden to get over my feelings because a) he’d notice and force me to tell him what was wrong, ultimately leading me to tell him that I had feelings for him, and b) the moment I would come back or see him for even just a second I know I would develop those feelings all over again. Neither of which were choices I was willing to take so I suck it up and see him every day, ignoring everything my heart was telling me. 
I look up from the cat that I’m petting in my lap and look at Minho again, only to find him staring at Ahra who was taking people’s orders with a perfect pearly smile. It was in that moment that I knew, I had just found the female lead of Minho’s story.
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3 weeks go by in a similar manner. Minho and I see Ahra around campus a few times and with some twisted fate, she’s on the clock every time we go to Paws and Pastries. Minho, being his smooth self, easily gets himself acquainted with her. They laugh and giggle so naturally and can slip into conversation so easily I’m almost envious of Minho and his non-introverted self. 
Not being one to try and stop fate, I watch it all happen. Telling Minho to ask her out already and teasing him about how lovesick he gets when he sees her nearby or at the cafe. I know Minho likes her when he blushes or gets defensive whenever I mention her in our conversations even though he’s never explicitly told me himself. I put on a face in front of him whenever these conversations come up, not wanting to get in the way of his happiness. 
One day some of our friends want to meet up outside of campus, we make plans to meet up at a bowling alley, ready to have fun until the late evening hours. Seungmin brought Ahra along with him, asking if it was okay to invite her since they were friends. Everyone agrees and we all meet up as planned. When everyone gets there, including Seungmin and Ahra, we introduce ourselves, Minho not having to introduce himself and easily speaking with her like they always did whenever running into each other. All the the boys have raised brows and mischievous smiles as they watch the interaction between the two, but only one looks at me in concern. 
A majority of the night passes by with laughter and teasing, how Chan was terrible at bowling this night and Minho easily beating him despite never doing too well on our previous adventures to the bowling alley. I spend the night with the rest of the boys, while Minho and Ahra spend time getting to know each other even more. There’s a point in the evening where I see Minho hold out his phone to Ahra to exchange numbers, I can hear her giggle when they take a selfie together, probably for her profile picture. I have to turn my head away quickly to ignore the cracking of my own heart when Minho puts his arm on the couch behind Ahra, he does it so naturally, yet he’s never done it with me. I will my thoughts to focus on the game and not on Minho, not noticing the same pair of concerned eyes until they speak up.
“Are you alright?” Hyunjin asks. 
“Hm? Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” My voice cracks halfway through and I try to hide my sad eyes, even though I was fully aware that Hyunjin had probably noticed that something was up.
“‘Cause you seem pretty affected by that scene over there.” He motions to Minho and Ahra with a nod of his head. 
“It’s nothing, Hyun, just nice seeing Minho talking to more people.”
“Y/n, you know he talks to people all the time, and you’re not nearly as affected then as you are now.” 
“Hyunjin, really, it’s fine.” I try to convince him but he says something that lets me know that he knows.
“You like Minho.”
“What? No that’s absurd I-“ He looks at me pointedly, and I sigh in defeat. “Yeah, okay, you got me.”
“Why don’t you say anything? Clearly it hurts you to see him like that.” He refers to Minho getting cozy with her.
“Hyunjin, it’s clear that everything we have is platonic, he even called me his sister several times. And who am I to get in the way of him getting into a relationship? That’s not my place to say anything, especially when his last girlfriend was 2 years ago.” 
“I get that, but shouldn’t he at least deserve to know? He says that he knows everything about you, but there’s one thing that he doesn't. You know practically everything about him, isn’t it a little unfair?” 
“We have choices as to what we share with each other and what we don’t, it’s his choice to tell me what he wants to and my choice to tell him what I want to tell him. Besides, he hasn’t even told me that he has a crush on Ahra yet.” 
“So maybe he doesn’t then.” 
“Hyunjin, just look at him, he’s a puppy in love.” I glance back over to Minho and Ahra sitting parallel to us. Minho is smiling brightly, more brightly than I had seen in a while and I can’t help but let my lips upturn at the corners just slightly in another sad smile. 
Hyunjin sighs next to me, and I look back to him. “I’m sorry y/n, I really wish he would end up with you instead of her, it doesn’t seem fair to you.”
“Hey, don’t say that, Ahra seems like a nice girl, she and Minho will get along great. And nothing in life is fair Hyunjin, that’s just something you come to accept.” I say, getting up. “I’m gonna get some drinks, does anyone want anything?” I ask everyone.
“Cola!” “Me too!” “Me three!” “A lemonade please.” A few of the boys shout back.
“Anything for you guys?” I turn to Minho and Ahra. They both shake their heads. “Okay then, I’ll be back in a minute guys.” I smile at the group before going to get the drinks. 
While walking away from the group I let a teardrop fall from my eye, wiping it away just before I order.
Life’s unfair, that’s just something I have to accept. 
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A week goes by and Minho’s talking about how he and Ahra message often, how he thinks they get along well and he’s gonna ask her out.
Another week goes by and they’ve gone on their first date, he takes her to the beach and they have a picnic. 
Two weeks after that they’ve gone on several dates and are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don’t even find out separately at this point, I find out with the rest of the group over dinner.
A few days after that Minho calls off one of our late night binge watching sessions, texting me an apology and that Ahra needs him. I tell him it’s okay and to send my regards to her. 
It’s a week and half after and Minho regularly calls off our meetups at the cafe after school or at one another’s dorms to tend to Ahra. I tell him it’s fine each time and to not feel bad. He did the same today, and I sit alone at our usual table, mindlessly petting a cat in my lap while zoning out into in my mug of coffee. 
All while this happens, I watch, and I let it happen. I don’t fight for him because it didn’t feel right, sometimes second leads let their love fall for someone else, and that’s all it felt like I could do. 
Fighting for Minho felt selfish, especially when I knew I had no chance and he’d already fallen for Ahra. I couldn’t suddenly come out of the blue and tell him “hey, I have feelings for you,” when he’s already dating Ahra, I’d look like a major asshole if I did. All I could do was watch and see how we begun to drift farther and farther apart. 
With Minho being absent more often, I don’t get to tell him much. Like the internship offer I got to continue pursuing graphic design in Itaewon. I got the email almost a week ago, and I had two more weeks to decide if I was going to take the offer. With nobody to consult about it with I continue to push it to the back of my mind, not wanting to deal with more stress just yet. 
Just as I’m taking another sip of my coffee a familiar head of long blonde hair enters the cafe. My head tilts to the side in confusion as he scans the room for someone when he meets eyes with me, he makes his way over and sits in the seat in front of me and doesn’t say anything.
“You’re rarely on this side of town, why are you here?” I ask Hyunjin first.
“I heard something from Ms. Kim in our art class and needed to know if it was true.” He says seriously.
“What…” I feel like I know what he’s going to say, but I ask anyways. “What did you hear?” 
“That you were offered an internship in Itaewon.” 
“Hyunjin I-“
“Is it really true? She said you had two more weeks to decide, how come you haven’t told anybody? Does Minho know? Are you gonna leave? What about-” He begins to spurt out question after question and it’s almost too much for me to handle.
“Hyunjin!” I raise my voice just slightly to get him to stop but I have to turn it down again when the volume of my voice makes a few of the other customers’ heads turn. “Calm down, yes it’s true, yes I have two more weeks to decide if I’m going or not, I didn’t know how I would tell any of you, no, Minho doesn’t know and I don’t plan on telling him.” 
“Are you… Are you gonna take the offer?” He asks slowly.
I prop my elbows onto the table as the cat leaves my lap and my head drops into my hands as I sigh in exasperation. “I don’t know.” Tears are gathering in my eyes as I think about it. 
“Y/n, have you thought about the offer at all?” 
“Yes and no.” I don’t need to lift my head to sense Hyunjin’s confusion. “It’s hard to think about it when you’re watching your crush of 2 years date someone else while you’re also trying to finish up your senior year. But it’s also all I can think about when I’m alone, which I find myself a lot, thinking about having to find a place to live in Itaewon and transfer and mentally prepare to leave you all here, but if I don’t take it then it’ll be even harder to find an offer like this. It’s all I can think about and also something that I can’t bring myself to think about, Hyunjin.” I lift my head and my teary eyes meet his own. 
“Y/n…” His voice breaks saying my name.
“I think I’m going to take it.” I pause. “Once I finish all of my final assignments the only thing I have left to really worry about is graduating and finding a job, and I don’t think I can take watching Minho and Ahra anymore Hyun, I don’t think I can stomach it. I’m happy for them, I truly am, but it’s also affecting me and I don’t think I should ignore that anymore. If I’m in Itaewon I have a job and I won’t have to worry about feelings anymore, two birds with one stone.” 
I see the hesitancy in Hyunjin’s facial expressions before he speaks. “If that’s what you think you should do, then I’ll support you all the way. But shouldn’t you tell Minho about this?” 
“I’m not, because if I do, Minho is gonna find some way to get me to stay and I’ll crumble and stay because he affects me the most.” Hyunjin merely nods in response. “Hyunjin, you are the only one that can know about this, okay? I can’t have everyone else know this, especially Minho, okay?”
Hesitation again, and then, “Okay.” 
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Hyunjin keeps his promise, he keeps the secret of me leaving from everyone. Even as graduation inches closer and our group begins to talk more about job searching, what comes next, and similar topics, the two of us keep it a secret. Whenever they asked me what I was thinking of doing next I always just told them “oh probably looking for internships nearby,” and no more questions are asked. 
Minho and Ahra were still very much in love, even more than before, if the growing absence of Minho’s presence was anything to go by. I barely saw Minho anymore, maybe catching him at the end of the hall every once in awhile, but he was always walking with Ahra so all I could say was “hello” and “goodbye.” 
Each goodbye begun to hold more and more weight as the days passed. Even the short ones I would tell Minho after passing him in the halls. I couldn’t even conjure how I would tell everyone, maybe send a letter to each of their places? A text message? Tell them after the graduation ceremony just before I left for the train station? I thought about how I would say goodbye as I begun to pack up my dorm. Graduation was nearing, I had already turned in all of my final assignments, and all there was left was to pack. I would leave after the ceremony ended, sometime in the afternoon. I wouldn’t even get the chance to properly celebrate being graduates with my friends because I was leaving in the afternoon. I’d get situated in my new apartment in Itaewon and get accustomed to new life outside of Gimpo. 
The thought of leaving panged my heart harshly, I had never left Gimpo permanently before. Sure, I had gone on trips to the US and Singapore and Seoul before, but I had never moved from Gimpo. I was born and raised in Gimpo, met Minho and all of our friends here, so the thought of moving for the first time did something to my heart. I attended all of our group hangouts with a nostalgic mindset, remembering the first time we all met, when we all got wasted one time on a Friday night after some big exam week. I look around our table of friends and think about how much I’ll miss all of this when I leave for Itaewon. 
Another thing that panged my heart, Minho and I distancing. I knew it was coming, Minho and I didn’t text or talk about hanging out anymore. He walked Ahra to her classes now, and had dates with her after class instead of meeting me at our cafe. Eventually I stopped getting apology messages, and stopped expecting him at the cafe anymore. I couldn’t blame him, Ahra was his girlfriend and I accepted that long ago. Instead I just played the supportive friend on the sidelines, and I’d continue to play that role for as long as I had to. 
It came to be the night before we graduated, and all of us minus Minho and Ahra were sat around a table in one of the restaurants we frequented, it wasn’t too late in the evening, and we all just sat in silence after finishing our food with bottles and glasses of soju now sitting in front of us. A majority of our meal was full of reminiscing, talking about memories that crack everyone up and left smiles on our faces. 
“So, we really graduate tomorrow, huh?” Changbin says when the table quiets down.
“Yeah, I guess we do.” Chan says quietly. 
My eyes tear up and I begin to sniff without control, the weight of my department tomorrow weighing heavily on my shoulders. Hyunjin puts an arm around my shoulders and gives me a tissue, whispering “it’s okay, it’s okay” to me while I try to calm down.
Everyone looks at me in confusion before Chan speaks first. “Y/n are you okay?” 
“Yeah, yeah, I just…” I trail off, not sure what to say.
“Do you want to tell them?” Hyunjin asks softly.
“Tell us what?” Seungmin says this time.
Hyunjin looks to me first before nodding, and I begin to spill my secret. “I got an internship offer.” 
The table erupts in cheers and I get congratulations thrown back at me before I can even continue.
“But…” Immediately everyone silences and looks to me in expectation. “It’s in Itaewon.” 
There’s a tense air that falls around us. “What?” Felix says in disbelief.
“You’re not leaving us, right Noona?” Jeongin asks from another part of the table. 
I look to Jeongin with sad eyes, smiling sadly. “I leave tomorrow, after our graduation ceremony.” There’s some gasps around the table.
“What?! Y/n, why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Changbin blows up and Chan has to place a hand on his shoulder to restrain him.
“I didn’t want every time we met leading up to graduation to feel like a goodbye, Bin, I couldn’t handle that. So I kept it from you all so there wasn’t this tension every time we met.” I explained.
“Does Minho know?” Seungmin asks this time, and I shake my head.
“Y/n…” Han says worriedly.
“Guys, I know I’m not the only one that’s noticed that me and Minho aren’t that close anymore, so I haven’t really gotten the chance to tell him. But I told Hyunjin this a long time ago, that I wouldn’t tell Minho specifically, because there’s some things that I need to figure out and if I told him he’d find some way to keep me from going, or even worse, follow me. At least with Ahra by his side he won’t follow me to Itaewon.” There’s nods all around the table, understanding where I’m coming from.
“We’re gonna miss you a lot.” Felix sniffs and I coo, getting up from my seat to wrap my arms around him from behind. 
“I’m gonna miss you all too.” I sniff with him, a few tears escaping my eyes. 
Chan comes to join our hug, then Han, then Jeongin, and soon enough everyone has joined the group hug with me in the middle. All of us are crying, and I had never felt more loved than that moment. 
Eventually we break away from the hug and return to our seats, everyone dabbing at their eyes with tissues and sniffing. 
“Let’s all stop crying, tonight is a night to celebrate, all of us graduate tomorrow, and our dear Y/n got an internship offer in a big city!” Han holds up a drink and we all do the same, cheering and clinking our glasses together and celebrating the night away. 
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The next morning I get ready for graduation early, putting on my makeup and doing my hair, and sending a message. 
to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]
hey, can you meet me at p&p in thirty?
My heart picks up the pace as I send the message, I didn’t expect him to answer so quickly yet his message pings my phone within 2 minutes. 
from: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]
sure, i can be there
to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]
sweet, i’ll see you there
I turn my phone off and take a deep breath, we still had a few hours before we had to be at the school for our graduation ceremony, I’d have to leave just a few minutes after the ceremony ended which wouldn’t give me enough time to tell Minho, so, I made the painful decision the night before to tell him in the morning. I’d do it in our favorite spot in the corner of our favorite cat cafe, tell him the news slowly and hope that he takes it well. 
I leave my house and 15 minutes later I’m in our usual booth, my coffee order sitting in front of me and the cats all wandering around as there weren’t too many people since it was relatively early in the morning. I already bought Minho his typical Iced Americano and it sat in front of me, awaiting it’s owner. 
10 minutes later Minho arrives and makes his way to the table, sitting in front of me, smiling, unknowing of what’s about to happen. 
“Hey.” I smile at him.
“Hey you.” He smiles back brightly. “Sorry I couldn’t see you guys last night, I took Ahra out for dinner last night on a date.”
“It’s completely alright, how are you guys?” 
“Pretty good, things are going okay right now.” He answers.
“That’s good.” Nervously I take a sip of my macchiato in front of me, my leg bouncing in anxiety. 
“Y/n? Is everything alright? Your leg’s bouncing pretty fast right now.” Curse Minho and the fact that he knows so much about me, he reaches out for my wrist and checks my pulse, quickly noticing how fast it’s beating as his brows furrow in confusion. 
“Minho, there’s something I need to tell you.” I say, retracting my wrist from his grip. He doesn’t answer me but instead tilts his head like a cat does when it looks at its owner questionably. “I’m leaving.” 
“What?” He asks.
How could one look so endearing, head tilted and eyes full of emotion as I break the news to him? I ask myself. “I got an internship offer for a company in Itaewon, I accepted it and I’m leaving for Itaewon, today.” 
“You’re leaving today?” He says in disbelief, sounding out of breath.
I nod and continue. “After the graduation today I have to catch my bus. I didn’t have any other time to tell you so I had to tell you now.” 
“You’re… You’re just telling me now? Do the others know about this?” 
“I only told them last night.”
“You couldn’t have thought of telling me sooner?” He starts to get angry.
“Minho I-“
“What happened to telling me everything, huh? What happened to when we used to know everything about each other?”
“Minho, those days are long behind us, you have bigger priorities now, like putting your focus on your girlfriend, Minho. I couldn’t tell you because I knew you’d do something rash, and I didn’t even tell the others until last night because I knew every time we’d see each other it would be like preparing for the day I leave. You and Ahra have something so great going on for the two of you right now and telling you that I was leaving would take you away from that, and I can’t do that to you or her. Ahra is an amazing girl, and you have her now.”
“Will you at least visit?” His eyes are full of tears, some of the first I’ve seen in years and I hate that I’m the cause of it. 
“I don’t know yet, there’s some things I need to figure out myself first, before I can visit. But at some point maybe I will, when I’ve figured things out I’ll try visiting from time to time.” I offer him a sad smile. 
After a few moments of silence I get up from my seat. 
“We still have a graduation left, Min, I’ll still see you then.” I ruffle his hair and walk out of the cafe, no more secrets but one weighing down on my chest. 
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The Graduation ceremony passes by in a blur. One moment we were listening to the speeches of each of the professors and the next we were tossing our caps into the air, cheering as we became alumni of our university. 
Our friend group met up in the front of the school, taking pictures with our parents and congratulating each other. Eventually, the time comes and I have to go. 
Our group stands in a circle, unmoving, as we all look at each other. 
“I’m gonna miss all of you so much.” I say in tears as my voice breaks.
“We’re gonna miss you too, Y/n.” Hyunjin says. At his words everyone gathers into a group hug full of tears and the weight of a goodbye on our shoulders. 
“You better promise to visit us, okay?” Felix holds me by the shoulders and makes a point to look me in the eye. Not trusting my voice, I nod and he brings me into one more hug. 
I hug each of them individually, saying a few words, before I reach the last person. 
I hug Minho and look into his eyes for the last time for a while.
“I’ll miss you.” He whispers.
“Me too.” And that’s all I can say. 
I leave the campus for the last time, hopping in my car to head to the station and start anew.
Second leads always leave in the end, they leave and let the two main leads have a happy ending. That’s what it felt like I was doing, and I couldn’t tell if I was content with my choice or not. 
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Two and a half months in Itaewon passes quickly. 
The move into my new apartment was smooth, and it was odd to be in a bigger space than a small dorm room. It felt like I had more space than I knew what to do with. 
My internship was moving along smoothly as well, everyone I had met so far were really kind and taught me a lot. I was worried about feeling out of place but I had met a few other girls not much older than me who helped me feel at home. 
Being alone in a big city was unnerving, but what made it so much more comfortable was the addition of a cat that my parents had bought me as my graduation gift. She was a chartreux cat who I named Luna because I had always dreamed of naming my first cat that. My parents covered most of the costs of basic things like cat toys, a scratch post, her bed, and similar things. I thanked my parents endlessly when they came over to my apartment a week after I had moved in and gave me Luna. I wasn’t gone for too long during the day and always left food for her, she was great company when I came home and worked on projects late into the evening, curling up into my lap like the cats at the old cafe used to. She was my best friend in a city I was still getting accustomed to. 
I hadn’t talked to the guys much, I’d talked with them a few times in the group chat about how their job searches were going and trips they were planning to take soon. It was nice talking with them every so often but all of us were still pretty busy moving onto the next chapter of our lives. 
I hadn’t talked to Minho since I left, I’d assumed that he and Ahra were doing well, but that’s all that was, assumption. None of the boys talked about him and I couldn’t understand why, but I never asked since I was supposed to be moving on from my feelings in the first place. I thought I had been doing pretty well until something would come up that reminded me of him, like his favorite song would play in the cafe I bought my morning coffee in and spent my breaks at, or snapchat would send me “Today, 1 year ago” memories of him and me fooling around at Paws and Pastries. Whenever that would happen I’d be sent back to square one, and it felt like I’d never move on from Minho. 
I was on my way out to grab a coffee and spend my off day walking around, maybe looking into a few shops when I got a call from Hyunjin.
“Y/n! My favorite girl, how are you?”
“Hyunjin? What’s with the call?”
“What? Can I not call my friends from time to time?”
“Not when you’re notorious for calling your ‘friends’ after you’ve done something wrong.” I sigh.
“That was one time! Besides, it wasn’t that bad.”
“You dragged Jeongin to a party! And got him wasted!” 
“One. Time. Y/n. It was one time.”
“One time is enough for you to be in trouble for life, Hyun.”
“Okay, whatever, but I was meaning to ask you, what’re your plans for today?” 
“Me? I was just planning to go out, today’s my day off so I was gonna visit this one cafe and see some shops, why?” 
“No reason, what time do you think you’ll be home?” 
“Maybe five?”
“Great, okay, I have to go now, Han’s calling me, bye!” Hyunjin hangs up before I can ask him what’s with the weird questions.
“Hyunjin- Oh great he hung up.” I put my phone in my pocket before looking down at Luna who’s stretching near my legs. “Your uncle Hyunjin is quite the odd one, isn’t he Luna, hm?” I ask her and she meows back in response. “Weird indeed, but that’s just how he is. Mommy’s gonna spend her day out and then she’ll come home and we can watch the TV together, okay? I’ll be home soon.” I pick up Luna and set her on her little bed before ensuring everything is safe and make my way out the door. 
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I spend the day eating at a large cat cafe that actually had an assortment of books with little reading areas while the cats roamed around everywhere. It was much bigger than the cafe in Gimpo, but I would always correlate that one with home. 
After I spent a bit of time reading there I went out and explored the shops for a few hours, bought some new jeans and a few blouses plus some makeup things. I got Subway for lunch and explored just a little bit more before heading home. Instead of going straight home, I decided to take the long way, going through the streets not minding the extra weight the few shopping bags I was holding in my hands gave me. The sun was just barely beginning to set as I walked into my apartment complex, getting into the elevator and pressing the button for my floor. 
I walk down the hallway to my door and am surprised when a familiar figure greets me there. 
“Minho?” I say as I walk closer. 
“Y/n!” He says happily, bringing me into a hug. 
“What are you doing here? Actually- Wait- Don’t answer that, do you wanna come inside?” I ask him.
“Sure.” He responds. 
I unlock the door and bring my bags in, setting them by the door. “Luna! Mommy’s home!” I call out automatically.
Luna meows and comes out of the bedroom, walking her way up to me before I pick her up. 
“You got a cat?” Minho asks.
“Yeah, parents brought her to me about a week after I moved in.” I put Luna back down and she moves to sit on the arm of the couch, her favorite spot to sit when the sun goes down.
“And you named her Luna,” He smiles fondly. “You always wanted to name your cat Luna.” 
“I’m surprised you remember that.” I chuckle. “Do you want some coffee?” 
“Sure.” 
“I’ll get that brewing, just give me a few minutes, you can take a seat on the couch and make yourself at home!” I tell him as I quickly retreat to the kitchen.
I have to take a few breaths when I’m far away enough from Minho, my heart beating just as fast as it would when I was around him back then. It was clear I hadn’t moved on at all. 
I brew the coffee as promised and wait next to the coffee machine with two mugs ready. A voice chimes in behind me.
“Your place is much bigger than the dorms.” He chuckles.
“Tell me about it, it was so weird buying more furniture than I was used to.” I laugh with him. 
The machine finishes brewing the coffee and I pour it into the two mugs, putting it on a tray with creamer and sugar before bringing it all to the coffee table in front of the couch. 
Minho and I take seats on the couch, separated by a bit of space between us while we sip on our respective mugs.
“So,” I start the conversation. “How’s home?” 
“Not too bad, same old same old, the guys being annoying as usual, you know?” He says.
“Sounds fun.” I chuckle. “And work, have you found anything yet?” 
“Not yet, I’ve got a few applications out, but I’m still waiting on some answers.”
“I’m sure you’ll get them soon.” I respond. 
An uncomfortable silence sets over the both of us, and I run my free hand through Luna’s fur who’s situated herself in my lap this time. I take a long sip of my coffee before asking another question.
“How’s… How are you and Ahra?” 
“Oh…” He trails off. “We broke up a few weeks ago.” 
“I’m sorry to hear that…” I had no idea that he and Ahra had broken up, in fact that was the completely opposite of what I thought had happened since they seemed to work together so well. 
“Yeah, it was a mutual thing. We didn’t really feel that kind of connection anymore, you know? So we just, broke it off.” 
“Are you okay?” I ask Minho.
“Me? Yeah, I’m actually not as affected as I thought I’d be, I don’t know if that makes me a cruel person or not but I was only sad for the first week or two. Nothing too bad.” 
“I see.” Another silence settles between us. This one is longer, more tense, there was something Minho wanted to ask but he wasn’t sure, and I couldn’t depict what question he was going to ask.
“Actually, I came her for a reason.” He says.
“And what reason is that?” I ask hesitantly.
“For answers.” My brows furrow, answers for what? “There’s something Hyunjin told me recently and it got me thinking, and I wanted to hear it from you if it was true.”  
I finish my coffee and place it down delicately on the coffee table, trying not to show how nervous I was with how badly my hands were shaking. “I’ll see if I have answers for you then.” 
“When you told me you were leaving, you said you had some, things, to figure out on your own. What was it that you had to figure out?” 
I take a moment to decide exactly how I was going to answer his question. Did I want to expose my feelings to him just yet? “Just, feelings.” I say vaguely.
“For?”
“Just feelings for somebody.”
“Is it Hyunjin?”
“No.”
“Chan?”
“Nope.”
“Changbin?”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Me?”
I pause for just a half second, and apparently that was all Minho needed. “I guess Hyunjin’s big mouth was right after all.”
“Wait- What? What are you talking about?” 
Minho takes a long sip of his coffee before finishing letting out a sigh after swallowing, he slowly sets the mug on the table before making direct eye contact with me and silently killing me with the suspense. “Minho please just say something you’re killing me here.”
He only chuckles in response. “Hyunjin told me not too long ago that you took up the offer to work here because you were going to sort out your feelings, for me.” He says sweetly as I suck in a breath at his last words. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Minho-“
“Now now, Y/n, we shouldn’t hide things from each other anymore, should we?” His sweet, sultry voice was affecting me greatly as he leaned closer to me on the couch. I gulp and silently curse when Luna, the only thing keeping me sane, leaves the comfort of my lap for her scratch-post. 
“Minho…” I let out quietly.
“Tell me, Kitten, is it true?” He asks once again. 
“I-“ My voice catches in my throat when Minho leans in ever nearer, still making direct eye-contact with me. “Yes, it is.” I sigh out and Minho backs away. 
“He was right.” Minho whispers while my gaze drops to my hands that I fiddle with in my lap at the secret that’s let out. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I’m sorry.” I whisper.
“Why are you sorry darling?” He asks softly and uses his thumb and forefinger to tilt my head up by my chin. 
“I couldn’t tell you because I knew you didn’t feel the same, and then when you got together with Ahra we drifted apart because it hurt me to see you with her. Then I left and told you about me leaving so last minute. I made you cry, Minho, and I hate that I did. But I couldn’t see any other way out of it. I hurt you because I was cowardly and didn’t want to be selfish by telling you and having your attention move off of Ahra, when I was really being selfish by not telling you and hurting you in the end.” More tears escape my eyes as we look at each other.
“Princess, no…” He cups my face with his hands and uses his thumbs to wipe away my tears. “I’ll admit, it did hurt when you told me that you were leaving the day of, but I understood where you were coming from. Because you were right, I would have done something crazy to keep you by my side. Do you know why?” He asks, and I shake my head, still crying. “Because I need you by my side, kitten, even when I was dating Ahra I felt off but just didn’t pay any mind to it because I had her. But now I know it’s because you and I were drifting apart, I found out when after you left and me and Ahra broke up because I felt empty. I couldn’t text you to just come over anymore because you’re farther away from me now. I lied earlier, I said that I sent out some applications for jobs but didn’t get any answers yet, right?” I nod. “I got offered a job as a software engineer, here, in Itaewon, and I said yes.” 
“Why?” I whisper.
“Because I want to be near you, I need to be by your side Y/n, because I love you.” I let out a sob at his confession and he coos, bringing me to rest my head on his chest and rubbing his hands on my back and running them through my hair. 
“I love you too.” I say after a few minutes. 
Minho brings me out of his hold, and cups my face again. For the first time, he kisses me. His lips brush over mine before deepening the kiss, taking full charge of it yet somehow still being soft with me. His kisses were nothing short of addicting, and I knew I’d be in love with him for a long time. 
In that moment, kissing the man of my dreams, I remember that it may be rare that a second lead gets their own happy ending, but it’s not unheard of. Sometimes the main lead and second lead do end up with their own happily ever after. 
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Notes from the author: I have FINALLY posted something y’all 😂 took a few months but she’s here, and she’s dishing out something at least. I don’t know how often I’ll be posting again, esp with school and whatnot, but I do know I need to drain out my drafts because phew, it’s getting a little full in there. 
But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic! I’m pretty sure it’s one of the longest I’ve written if not the longest. Hopefully it wasn’t too bad, I’m probably a little rusty but we can fix that (i think)
if you want more I still have my old stuff up on my masterlist on my account! hope to see you around :))
-nyx
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yutahoes · 3 years
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Master
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main characters: familiar! fox yokai! Yuta Nakamoto, master! shrine maiden! Y/N other character: familiar! snake yokai! Kim Jungwoo word count: 1.7k words genre: fluff, unrequited love, forbidden love summary: Being a familiar is hard. Being a familiar to a human is harder. Being a familiar for a female college student is the hardest.   warnings: unrequited love, jealousy, forbidden love inspired by the scenes from the anime ‘Kamisama Hajimemashita’
Czennies’ Anime Boy Birthday Project - Day 6
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yokai - spiritual creatures who can change into an animal or a human familiar - a yokai assigned to the shrine master kamisama - Gods who grant wishes in shrines
“Call me master,” Y/N claimed that made the fox yokai glare at her. “We had a contract, Yuta.” Another glare from her and he sighed, rolling his eyes in annoyance.
He remembered clearly how the contact happened. She was almost falling to her death after being chased by an evil yokai who wanted to eat human flesh. Y/N begged for her life, wanting him to save her. The next thing Yuta knew, he was bounded to her with a kiss contract. Her familiar. He became her familiar against his own will. “Call me master.”
“Master!” Jungwoo, the snake yokai who became Y/N’s second familiar, shouted. Yuta glared as Y/N pat Jungwoo’s head telling him that he’s doing a great job. Why is he even here? The shrine doesn’t even need two familiars, even if it meant she’s just a human shrine master.
He didn’t even know why Y/N was chosen as the shrine master when she doesn’t have any idea on how to run a shrine. She isn’t even a kamisama, to begin with. “You can help her, that’s your work as a familiar.” the former kamisama would often tell him. But he’s used to him doing all the work since he had the mystical abilities.
How on Earth did a mortal end up as a master of the shrine? Moreover, a college girl? It only made his work harder now.
-----
Jungwoo smiled while watching Y/N get ready for school. “Yuta, you have to agree that she’s doing a great job as the maiden of the shrine.” The younger noted. “Do you know how hard it is for college students? She also has to do everything around our shrine and grant people’s prayers.”  
"Our shrine?” his little fox ears perked up. “You don’t belong here.” Jungwoo faked a cry, pouting at how heartless Yuta is.
But the snake is right, she is doing a good job. Maybe that's why he eased into this familiar business even if the contract was forced on him. She does her best to keep the shrine in perfect condition, along with the college duties.
"Y/N, are you alright?" Jungwoo asked, holding her cheeks. Yuta had to note that she looks paler than she usually is. The girl gave the snake yokai a weak smile. "Can't you skip school today?”
She shook her head. “I have an exam in two weeks. I have to attend school.” But the way she said it is so weak. When Yuta felt her forehead, she’s feverishly hot. “I’m fine, really. Don’t worry about me.” She announced before taking her bag and shouting that she’s going to school.
The fox groaned which made the snake laugh. “Keep the shrine tidy, Jungwoo.”
“Are you going to follow her?”
Yuta nodded before changing his white kimono to casual clothes. “The last time she’s weak like that, she brought a snake into the house.” Jungwoo revolted. “She can’t take care of three yokais, can’t she?” He was out of the house before the other could say anything.
------
University is really different. Y/N must be feeling really bad that she didn’t even care that Yuta just entered her class, posing as her cousin who just transferred. The girls were having a field day, staring at Yuta but all he cared about was the maiden of the shrine who was sleeping on her desk. He took notes of the lesson, even if he can’t even understand anything about it. She’s doing this while maintaining the shrine? Now that he thinks about it, she might not be mortal after all.
“Y/N,” he called which made her raise her head from the desk. “Eat this then go to the clinic.”
The girl rubbed her eyes before blinking twice. “What are you doing here?” She glanced at the girls who were looking at Yuta then stared at him. “They can see you?”
He smiled before nodding, putting a tempura in her mouth. “You don’t even take care of yourself. I guess I’ll have to do it for you.” He fed her with rice before placing a bottle of water above her desk. “Finish all this food. Jungwoo prepared this for you.”
When Yuta stood up to go back to his chair, girls were squealing at how sweet he is as Y/N’s cousin. The girl was just confused. Maybe she’s too sick for her own good that she’s imagining things.
But it was awkward not to continue the façade of being cousins even if Y/N got better. The girl was annoyed at how protective Yuta is at school. He wouldn’t even let her out of his sight, claiming that there might be an evil yokai or another yokai lingering around her.
Jungwoo was used to Y/N and Yuta always bickering whenever they got home but today, the girl was grinning at Jungwoo. “What happened?” he asked as the fox yokai went straight to his room without any words. “What happened to Yuta?”
“Just let him. He’s angry that I’m going to a mixer tomorrow.” The girl claimed. “Help me pick out clothes to wear.” The snake yokai shrugged then helped her find pretty clothes to wear.
Yuta didn’t even eat dinner or breakfast and even if Jungwoo kept calling him, he didn’t come outside the room. When Y/N left the shrine, that’s when he went out while asking if she really continued going to that mixer. Jungwoo nodded making the other hiss, “What is a mixer?”  
“She’s meeting a guy.”
“Oh, that’s why she asked for help to find pretty clothes.” Jungwoo claimed. “Maybe we should get her more pretty clothes.”
“Aren’t you annoyed?”
“Why would I?” Jungwoo asked, staring at the fox yokai. “She’s a college girl. It’s normal.” Yuta slumped on the floor, his ears drooping down. “Are you jealous?”
His ear perked up at that, white bushy tail wagging at the question. “I’m not!”
Jungwoo laughed. “Do you want to see her? We’re yokais after all.” He laughed some more when Yuta stood up and was out the door immediately.
They can see her inside a karaoke room with two girls and three guys who looked much older than them. Jungwoo is wrong. They don’t need to buy her pretty clothes, she looks pretty whatever she wears. Y/N was smiling. Her pretty smile, Yuta noted. “She never smiles like that with us.” Yuta said with a pout, making Jungwoo snicker quietly. He didn’t realize that the other yokai was gone until one girl in their group shouted that there’s a snake in her bag. What is that stupid guy doing?
Y/N hissed before taking the snake wrapped around her arm, running outside the karaoke room and to the back of the establishment to avoid people. “Yah, Jungwoo!” she scolded. “What are you doing here?”
“How did you know it was me?” he asked, still in his animal form. The girl raised her eyebrow arguing that there’s no other snake with pastel rainbow spots but him. When she asked if he was alone, he only nodded. “I was curious what a mixer is? You didn’t tell me you’re going on a date.”
“I want to go home, actually.” she confessed, crouching down and letting him crawl down on the ground. “How is...?”  
A voice can be heard calling for Y/N which startled the two. Jungwoo slithered away to a nearby sewer when she stood up to turn at the source of the sounds of footsteps. “Are you alright?” one of the guys from the mixer asked and she nodded. “That was pretty brave, taking the snake like that.” he claimed, eyeing the mark left on her arm. “Are you sure you’re alright? We can go to...”
Another smile and Yuta hissed, just watching her talk to a guy she barely know. “I’m fine,” she claimed while touching the mark. “Let’s get inside. They might…”
“Can we stay outside for a while?” he asked that made her stop. “I want to know you more.” The girl only nodded.
They looked awkward, Yuta observed, but she smiled again when he put a jacket around her. Does that make her heart flutter? A guy putting a jacket around her? He would always put a blanket on her at night. “Y/N,” the guy called that made her hum. “What do you like in a guy?” She turned to look at him but was surprised that he’s too close to her.
The guy leaned in closer, making Yuta annoyed. Instead of feeling lips, Y/N felt a palm on her face. “Do you want to die?” Yuta asked the guy who was shaking his head. He apologized before running away. Y/N glared at Yuta before shouting the guy’s name.
Instead of letting her leave and chase the guy, Yuta took the jacket placed on her shoulder and threw it away. “Let’s go home. I’m hungry.”
Y/N breathed hard before staring at Yuta in anger. The fox was surprised. He always sees her annoyed but never angry. “You and Jungwoo planned this, don’t you?” She shouted. “Why?”
She looked really furious. Her eyes were red with anger and he visibly sighed. I don’t want you to see other guys. I want you to always look at me. I want you to just stay beside me. I’m...
“Yuta’s jealous.” The snake on the ground claimed that obviously startled Y/N. Yuta called for the snake’s name before stepping on his tail, earning a yelp from the other yokai. Jungwoo wrapped his upper snake body on Yuta’s leg before biting him.  
They stopped when they heard a giggle coming from the girl. “You two are so childish.” she scolded although there’s no anger in her voice. “I’ll just say goodbye to them. Wait for me here.”
Yuta watched as her back disappeared as she head inside the establishment. “You like her, don’t you?” Jungwoo asked, already changed into his human form.
The guy only looked at him in surprise before returning his attention to her as she exited the building. “But I can’t fall for a human, right?” Yuta whispered. Jungwoo only looked at him in worry before welcoming the girl with a smile and asking her what she wanted for dinner. She asked what Yuta wanted since he’s such a picky eater, but the guy shook his head, “You decide, master.”
Y/N stopped in her tracks. “What did you call me?”
“Master.” Yuta whispered that made her smile widely. “You look so ugly, master.” The girl ran to chase the fox yokai who kept teasing her.
Jungwoo shook his head, looking at the sky while whispering the words, “Gods, help me.”
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Note
I'm simping hard for Mason and Bailey, so could we get mutual non-con with them? Also maybe with the person forcing the non-con degrading m!Mason and or m!Bailey about forcing them breed f!pc?
Like maybe Leighton wants to watch the hot swim teacher pipe that pretty little thing that wont let him photograph their gentiles, so he threatens Mason's job if they dont fuck in the locker room so he can watch. He knows pc is Mason's favorite, that Mason might actually have caught feelings. He's seen them hanging out outside school.
Or for Bailey, it could be that someone was pissed they couldn't buy you since you were paying your dues, or maybe Bailey just didn't like their vibe. They hold pc and their pissed off caretaker at gun point and make them screw. Bonus on the forced breeding kink, since bailey def doesnt want kids, and I cant imagine any PC wanting to put another kid in his care.
Sorry for the long ask 😅 Your writing is so good and you capture the characters so, so well. It really gets my imagination going.
Dear gods anon this haunted me from the moment I read it you're so smart I love you.
NSFW below (tw for noncon, loss of virginity)
Bailey
Waking up tied to a chair and gagged isn't exactly how Bailey wants to start his weekend, but here he is.
It had been a simple task. Drop off some money at Quinn's office. That's all.
So when he'd been hit over the head and knocked out, it had been rather unexpected.
He can see a man in a tailored suit looking at him and he immediately recognises who it is.
The guy was with that drug gang Bailey had seen to a couple months ago. Saving you from them, his favourite pretty brat.
Trust you to get in drug trouble over a fucking maths competition.
"You're awake. Good. We can talk about how you owe me," the man says. Yeah cause Bailey could do a lot of talking right now.
The door opens, two henchmen dragging in a girl with a bag over her head.
Bailey knows it's you, can recognise your voice as you whimper in fear.
Someone that had been standing behind Bailey's chair comes forward and starts to pull the caretaker's pants down. He can't fight back, tensing his arms to check how tight the bindings are.
The person covers their hands in some weird clear slime they then proceed to rub on his freed cock. It's cold and tingles.
"This one's your most requested right? Always pays her debts though. It's cause she's a virgin isn't it?" The boss questions as whatever that salve was kicks in, stimulating Bailey till he's hard as a rock.
The bag is ripped from your head, your eyes scrunching up at the light. You look so scared and helpless.
"Well you're about to drive her value right down with your own cock, mate," the boss nods to his men and you're brought forwards, skirt of your school uniform ripped up and pantes cut off with a knife.
You start sobbing and begging as you're picked up and your pussy is angled so that they can push you onto Bailey's cock.
Bailey is still. Staring straight ahead, trying not to let the rage he feels show.
He shudders as your body is pushed onto his cock, having to admit its a nice tight fit. God you would have been worth so much.
You scream, pain from being taken for the first time with so little preparation adding to the stress of the whole situation.
The henchmen holding you lift and drop you onto your caretaker's length at a steady pace. You feel no pleasure in the situation, just deep sorrow and an itching need to run.
But you can only whine out "I'm sorry," to Bailey, unable to look at him in the eyes.
It feels good. You feel good - you feel wonderful and Bailey can't help it when his balls start to feel tighter.
Can't help it when a tingle grows up his spine.
Can't help his hips jolting up the tiniest bit to meet you, needing more friction so he can cum.
"Oh and one last thing. We injected the girl with some hormone treatment to make her more likely to get pregnant. Good luck selling a used up whore then," the boss finally interjects, but its too late.
Oh fuck no.
Bailey is already on the verge as the man speaks, ejaculated deep inside your pussy since the henchmen so kindly push you down when they notice his body spasm.
The men let you go, your arms coming to wrap around Bailey's shoulders as you cry into his neck.
"A few more rounds, I think. Let's get our money's worth," it's only now Bailey sees the camera pointed at the two of you.
"This time the girl will move herself," a gun is brought out and you wrap yourself tighter around Bailey's body, seeking comfort. You're still sat on his cock, that hasn't gotten soft even after his orgasm. Just what was that salve?
He's going to kill them when he gets out of this rope.
Mason
He can't belive he's doing this.
Can't believe he has your cunt in his mouth, tongue deep between the folds as he licks away.
He wishes it were under any other circumstances.
Leighton had always rubbed him the wrong way, but Mason loved swimming. Loved teaching, this was his perfect job.
And you were his perfect student.
So kind and understanding, so innocent compared to the horrors he dealt with most classes.
You'd been so shy when you'd caught him swimming naked, but had accepted it without judgement.
You had been lovely to talk to at the pond.
You clung to his hair so tightly as he ate you out, moans echoing through the locker room.
Leighton had threatened his job. Had told him he wanted a video of that good one getting ruined by a handsome man like Mason. Wanted to see the pretty thing impaled on his cock.
And it worked. The threat worked. But at least Mason was the one corrupting you, he reasoned. At least it was someone who genuinely cared for your wellbeing.
You were shaking like a leaf when he had explained the situation, looking between him and the headmaster, off the to the side holding a camera.
"If you don't do it, I'll send every university you apply to personal letters telling them what a whore you are," Leighton added, and you reluctantly let Mason strip your uniform and kiss up your thighs.
"She's wet enough," Leighton calls from behind the camera, admiting the flushed pink dusting your cheeks. Forced, yes, but your were enjoying this, weren't you? What a little harlot.
Mason frees his length from his swimming trunks, never having the chance to change from his last lesson.
Bending your legs up so they're pressed to your chest, he gently kisses your forehead.
"It's going to be okay," another kiss, "just breath nice and steady for me." It's the same soothing tone he used to teach you.
You take in a deep breath as Mason pushes himself in, inch by inch. Both of you try to ignore Leighton moving to get a better angle.
Soon enough, your teacher is balls deep inside of your virgin pussy, the two of you breathing raggedly while staring into each other's eyes.
You both look upset.
"Well fuck her then," the headmaster tuts, and Mason starts to thrust.
Your mouth falls open, an expression so lewd and lovely the teacher wishes he could have seen it in another situation.
Wishes he could have waited for your graduation and asked you out on a proper date.
Not lose himself in your cunt, on camera for the pervert blackmailing you both.
And he does lose himself, can't stop his hips from hammering away at the warm, tight, wet heat that sucks him in like it was made for him.
Mason can't last this long. He brings a hand to start rubbing circles around your clit, eliciting more moans and whimpers.
You're so pretty, so good for him.
"M-mason, sir," you yelp as he hits a nice spot, and his breath catches in his chest.
Leaning in, he takes one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and teasing.
Your walls tighten around his shaft, signifying your end coming soon and Mason increases the pressure on your clit.
You milk his cock so perfectly he cums right when you do, filling you up to the brim with seed and aware it was spilling onto the bench below.
He can't bring himself to let you go when he's done, has to keep you covered until Leighton puts that camera away.
"Excellent. Now, try to get used to each other, I won't be satisfied with only one tape."
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bvidzsoo · 3 years
Text
Poison (Part 3)
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 Author: bvidzsoo
 Warnings: suggestive stuff, light swearing
 Pairing: Kim Mingyu x female reader
 Word count: 15, 054
 Summary:  Three weeks have passed since the auction and things definitely changed. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but slowly, you started falling for Kim Mingyu. But things are never easy nor the safest, when you are dating a mafia leader.
 A/N:  Ayo lovelies, third part is here! We have a little bit of spice here and there in this chapter, but don’t get too used to it just yet! Someone is here to stir up some spirits, hehehe. Quick reminder, whenever I reblog the last part I posted, usually means the next one is coming real soon, so...there’s that. I don’t have much to say, except thank you for the support shown so far and please leave feedback! Enjoy now!
       The days and nights felt like a big whirlwind that I got caught in, my days more and more exciting as they went by. I never thought I had a boring life, I did go out and party from time to time, but I never experienced having someone with me almost twenty-four-seven. Not that I never had a partner, it’s just been a long time since. And they weren’t Kim Mingyu. An annoying giant, clinging to you whenever he could, while he whispered dirty things into your ear just to piss you off more. I swore to myself after the night of the auction that I wouldn’t get caught up even more with him, that I would never kiss him again. I even managed to convince myself that what I felt for him was just the spur of the moment and nothing serious, like when you make accidental eye contact with a handsome stranger and imagine a whole life with them; I pretended that’s what happened after the auction. Just a daydream that got too far but would never be repeated. And then all of my walls came crashing down when the next morning a huge bucket of white roses was placed in front of my front door. I walked curiously to the door when I heard my neighbor calling out for me, knocking softly against the door. My eye widened when I opened the door and they fell on the roses.
“Look at these beauties!” The lady exclaimed as she leaned down and picked the bucket up. My mouth was open as I didn’t know what to say, I could only look at her in disbelief, “You should put the into water, quickly, before they wither.”
Like all the defenses and lies I told myself last night have withered the second she pushed the roses into my arms. I knew who they were from and it made my heart beat quickly.
“Thank you.” I bowed my head a little as the lady giggled and walked towards her own apartment.
“Ah, to be young and in-love again…” She mumbled to herself and my cheeks suddenly felt hot. My eyebrows furrowed at the foreign feeling as I remained rooted in the doorway, gazing down at the beautiful flowers, a smile extending onto my lips. But my attention got caught by the door opposite mine getting unlocked and I panicked as I whirled around at lightning-speed to close the door before my best friend could spot me.
“Yah! Oh Y/N!” I bit my lower lip as I froze with my back towards the person who called out, “What are you doing?”
I quickly placed the roses on the little table by the door and turned around swiftly, closing the door enough so that Seungcheol wouldn’t see the beautiful bucket.
“Chatting with Mrs. Eom, why?” I answered him with a sweet smile, ignoring the rapid beat of my heart. Did he see the bucket of roses? I highly doubt that, he’s still wearing his pajamas, hair disheveled and toothbrush in his hand.
“I just heard voices…” Seungcheol muttered, rubbing his eyes tiredly.
“You just got up?” I asked concerned, eyes falling on the clock hung up in the hallway, reading 12:38 am.
“Yeah, had a rough night…” He muttered again, starting to brush his teeth lazily as he held onto his door, “Not everyone got an early night like you yesterday, Y/N. We had to take care of stuff—”
“Was the mission a success?” I chimed up with a small smile, but it quickly disappeared when Cheol started looking around and threw me a glare.
“Don’t say stuff like that, Y/N.” He scolded me and I rolled my eyes, stepping further inside my apartment.
“Fine, get changed, I’ll be over in ten minutes with my leftover breakfast, okay?” I raised my eyebrows as Cheol continued to brush his teeth with a frown.
“You always make me eat your leftover—”
“You never have food, stop complaining!” I snapped and shut the front door with a smirk when Seungcheol groaned loudly, the slam of his apartment door echoing around in the hallway. My eyes fell on the bucket of white roses again and I sucked in a deep breath, hating the way my heart started beating fast. I picked it up and went to find a vase for it.
And that wasn’t the only bucket I got from Mingyu. I kept getting buckets almost daily, sometimes he’d even bring them to the bookstore. He never entered, he just knocked on the window and left them in the door. Irene kept gushing about the sudden gestures but I shut her down with a glare and a few harsh words, telling her they didn’t mean anything. Because they meant a lot and I wasn’t ready to accept that yet. It felt like Mingyu suddenly learned what privacy meant, he wasn’t breathing down my neck anymore and it felt weird. I had him in my shadow for six months, suddenly having my own space was a weird feeling. It’s not like he abandoned me, but he didn’t approach me so openly anymore. When I went on a morning run, he’d be running on the other trail from which he had a clear view of me; when I would go to the convenience store late at night to buy something I forgot to get during the day, I would see him sitting in his Mercedes and looking inside the store, keeping his eyes on me and my movements. He did corner me at times when I wasn’t expecting him to, like when I was at the University’s library looking for a book for my research essay. When I was walking home after my shift, I would be pulled into a secluded alleyway, sometimes even at the entrance to the apartment building. And I couldn’t resist him, no matter how hard I tried. He finally won this game and I couldn’t even hate myself, because I predicted that I would fall. My heart wasn’t cold enough to ignore someone like him. And he knew that, that’s why he remained so persistent. But even then, I wasn’t ready for the world to know about us. I wasn’t even sure I was ready for whatever we were doing at the moment. We weren’t dating, but we certainly were something. Three weeks after the auction night, I craved him more than ever and I wanted to be with him almost always. But I had my own pride, I wouldn’t cave in so quickly yet. And I had other priorities, like, getting passing grades at University, working at the bookstore and maintaining my other relationships with people like: Irene, Vernon, Seungcheol. In just three weeks it felt like my whole life was constructed around Kim Mingyu and that scared me. Before, I was independent, I never thought of others and most certainly I didn’t have to direct so much of my energy and time onto another person. Even when I dated in the past, the relationship felt rigid and somewhat cold, which was my fault, to be honest. But something about Mingyu was different and it was him that didn’t let me shut him out like I usually would do, and it was foreign. I’d always bicker with him about the smallest things because I didn’t know how else to act around him, I was expecting him to leave me at any second. But he didn’t, he stood by my side for six months and he swore to never let me go in the three weeks that we’ve been sneaking around.
       Papers with my handwriting on it littered across the coffee table as I leaned my back against the sofa, sitting on the floor. It was getting late but I still had to study four more pages for tomorrow’s exam. It was a pain in the ass and I was already fed up with all the terminology I still didn’t understand, but I had no choice. I had all week to study, but due to a certain somebody, I barely had time to even breathe. Mingyu kept brining me out on dates, which, his words, ‘weren’t exactly dates’, and therefore I had no time to study in time. I hated leaving it for the last moment but right now I really had no choice. So, with a frustrated sigh, I leaned forward and grabbed my cup of coffee and took a big gulp, eyes running over the words I have written down in class. As I placed the cup back on the coffee table, the three locks on my front door were getting unlocked. I definitely told Seungcheol to leave me alone tonight, so he had no reason to be over at this hour. He was already sleeping, probably, Mingyu kept him busy lately and we barely hung out this week.
“I think I was clear when I told you I wanted to study, Seungcheol, why are you—”
“Seungcheol?” The deep voice made me jump, eyes go wide, “That’s not the right way to greet your boyfriend.”
“You’re not my boyfriend.” I snapped with an eyeroll, ignoring Mingyu, “And take off your shoes, it’s not you who cleans up the apartment.”
I heard Mingyu chuckle before he went back into the hallway to take his shoes off, “You could just ask me, you know, I’d clean up—”
“And break my stuff?” I scoffed and leaned my head back against the sofa, “No, thank you.”
“I wouldn’t break any of your stuff…” I looked up at Mingyu, to see him smirking down at me as he leaned against the doorframe.
“But?”
“I’d love to break you—”
“Get out!” I threw him a glare, which amused him, of course, and continued to take in his form. Mingyu continued smirking at me, pushed off the doorframe to sit on the sofa. He was dressed in a burgundy silk like suit, jacket undone and the black shirt’s top buttons undone to show off his neck and the pearly choker that decorated it. He wore various rings today and his black hair was curly. Yesterday it was still brushed back, but today it fell in waves against his forehead and I gulped as he finally sat on the sofa.
“Enjoying me much?” He spoke lowly and I scoffed, deciding to ignore his remark, knowing well my voice would sound too weak.
“What—” I cleared my throat as I looked back at the paper in my hands, “You’re a model now? Did you do a shoot for W Korea or something?”
My tone was mocking, and Mingyu knew it was to hide my flustered state, and it made him chuckle. He sighed loudly and dramatically fell back against my sofa, bringing his hands behind his head. He really liked sitting like that.
“I totally could become a model, right?” When we made eye contact his eyes were glinting with mischief and I rolled my eyes, deciding to remain quiet, “We had an important meeting today.”
“About?” I mused absentmindedly as I started reading the words written on my paper again.
“Don’t think about that now,” Mingyu dismissed my question as he leaned down to rest his chin on my shoulder, “What are you studying for?”
“Economy exam, so, kindly leave me alone.” I turned my head just a little bit, our noses almost brushing against each other. The hairs stood on the back of my neck as Mingyu let out a long sigh, his breath fanning against my neck and jaw.
“Do you have to study now?” He grumbled into my ear and I nodded wordlessly, not trusting my voice, “Why didn’t you study earlier this week—”
“Because you kept taking me out every single day!” I snapped, pulling away from him with a glare, “If I fail this exam it’s your fault, so, leave me alone.”
I watched as he jutted his lower lip out, “Come on, sugar, don’t be mean to your boyfriend.”
“You’re not my boyfriend…” I mumbled to myself as I leaned back against the sofa and started reading again. Mingyu remained seated on the sofa as silence stretched around the room, the soft tapping of his fingers against his muscular thigh the only sound that echoed around. His knee was close enough to my shoulder that it was just barely brushing against it and I bit my lip as I focused hard on the words and ignored Mingyu’s tempting warmth. He knew how hard it was for me to stay still when he was so close to me; and I call him clingy; but sometimes I just want to have even the smallest physical contact with him. Not tonight, Y/N, you’re really close to failing economy class, I thought to myself as my eyebrows furrowed as I read over again the same line. Mingyu’s loud sigh almost made me ask him what was wrong, but I just bit my lower lip and flipped the paper, internally groaning at another page filled with words I had to learn tonight.
“Do you like my new hairstyle?” I heard Mingyu ask faintly as his rings clanked against each other as he started toying with his fingers.
I hummed and nodded before licking my lips, “I didn’t think you’d look so hot with curly hair.”
There was a beat of silence and I felt his eyes on me, my heart picked up its pace, “So, you think I’m hot?”
“Yes.” I mumbled, feeling a sudden dryness in my mouth as I gulped quickly, refusing the urge to look back up at him. He was incredibly hot dressed the way he was today, and it was hard to not look at him, but I could do it. I was an expert when it came to ignoring Kim Mingyu.
“You’re hot too, when you’re turned on.” I didn’t have to look to see he smirk on his lips; I scoffed and rolled my eyes before reading the page from the top to the bottom again. Memorizing the information was harder when he was sitting next to me. I heard him shift on the sofa and I prayed he just wanted to lay down and torment me from there with his words, but I stopped breathing when his warm palm brushed my hair behind my shoulder and his soft lips pressed against my neck.
“Mingyu…” I sighed in warning, eyebrows furrowing when he kept pressing feather like kisses down my neck.
“Yes?” He whispered against my skin, which was now covered in goosebumps.
“I have to study,” I snapped, trying hard to resist his kisses, “I can’t fail this exam—”
“And you won’t.” Mingyu muttered close to my ear as he pressed a kiss just behind my ear, “You’re smart, you don’t have to study much. You already know this—”
“That’s what you think—” I choked on air when he bit my ear lobe teasingly, “I’m—I’m really not that—smart—”
“Sugar,” He sighed deeply and I dared to look at him, his pupils were already dilated and he smirked when he saw my face, my expression probably similar to his, “I’ll be really pissed off, if you don’t put down that paper and come make out with me.”
It wasn’t a request, and I knew it, he really wasn’t going to let me study tonight. Once again. Gulping and glancing down at the paper in my hands, I knew I really had to study right now, but when I looked back up at Mingyu, I knew by how impatient he was I had one second before he’d be pulling me over him. With a roll of my eyes, I slammed the paper on the coffee table and opened my mouth to curse at him, but his hands were around my head and his lips pressed against mine. His soft lips were familiar by now and it brought a sense of calmness over me. My eyes closed as I raised up onto my knees and gripped his thighs, earning a sigh from him.
“I don’t see you all day and even when I do, you ignore me instead of making out with me—”
“Well, Mingyu, I have a grade that I have to maintain and it’s a lot more important than your neediness—”
“Don’t be disrespectful to your boyfriend—”
“You’re not my boyfriend—” I got cut off by his lips again as he gripped me by the arms to pull me on him. He tasted like smoke and something spicy that I couldn’t identify. I straddled his hips, legs on each side, as I leaned my body into his. I let my hands run all over his chest slowly, groaning when my fingers brushed against his choker. Mingyu smirked into the kiss, his lips meeting mine hungrily as he pulled me closer into him by my bottom, squeezing it hard. I yelped and raised a bit up, pulling away from the kiss.
“I told you to stop doing that—” My chest was raising and falling a bit quicker as my eyes fell on Mingyu’s glossy lips.
“Did you drink coffee?” He asked, his voice octaves lower and it sent shivers down my spine, “It’s almost 10 pm, sugar. How will you sleep?”
“I don’t plan on sleeping tonight.” Our eyes connected, and meanwhile I meant that as in: ‘I will be studying the whole night’, I understood why it could have sounded like: ‘We’ll be having sex all night, so no need to sleep’. And Mingyu definitely thought of the second version because before I could correct his dirty mind, my hips were pulled down by his firm grip and he was sucking against my collar bones. I let out quiet breaths as my fingers finally tangled themselves into his black, curly hair and Mingyu sucked on my skin harshly. The place felt on fire as a dull pain coated the area, but Mingyu was quick to smooth it over with his tongue, which didn’t help much with the ache.
“We agreed on no marks—”
“If you pull my hair like that, I can’t help it, sugar.” Mingyu bit his lower lip as he gazed into my eyes deeply and I licked my lips, leaning down, lips brushing against each other.
“I want to rip your clothes off and kiss all over your body while you wear that choker—” Mingyu growled and all of my senses seemed to be heightened as his touch suddenly felt like it was burning into my skin, “You’re so fucking hot.”
One of his hands left my hips to grip the back of my head as he brought our lips back together and kissed me hungrily, lips bruising by the force he was using. His strong, honey like cologne enveloped my senses as I got lost in the feeling his lips were giving me. My heart was thumping loudly, lungs running out of air quickly, and every inch of my skin was on fire as I gripped Mingyu’s cheeks with both hands desperately as if he’d disappear into thin air. I never knew you could feel so much at the same time, I never knew one person alone could make you feel so alive. When I was with Mingyu time seemed to stop, people around us seemed to disappear and it was just us. I don’t know when I started trusting him so much or why I felt protected, a different kind of protection that Seungcheol and Vernon made me feel, but it happened and I realized it one day while we were walking in the park and holding hands. In Mingyu’s arms, the protection felt better and stronger, it almost felt like love. I was never in love with someone before, but maybe I was slowly falling for him.
I felt him shift us as he slid down slightly on the sofa, legs spread wider, and I realized it was to move my hips against his. His firm grip guided my hips in slow circles and I moaned when I felt his member poking through his burgundy dress pants. It sent a rush through my body, all the way down to my toes, and I gripped Mingyu’s chin to tilt his head back. He didn’t fight it as our lips moved hungrier than before, mine were already aching, and I let my tongue slip into his mouth. I swallowed his choaked moan and pressed down my hips harder against his, desperate for more friction. Mingyu moaned again and held the back of my head, his other hand slipping underneath my shirt as his hand travelled up my stomach to my breast. I bit his lower lip when he gave it a squeeze, and finally out of breath, we pulled away just barely. I smirked at Mingyu, seeing him so lost and whiney only happened during our make outs, and it was always hot and empowering. He caught his breath and his eyes darkened when he saw my satisfied expression, he stilled my hips with his hands.
“Don’t get cocky now, sugar.” His voice was husky and I let a finger run over his pearly choker before I hooked a finger in it.
“How, when I’ve got you wrapped around my finger?” He knew I was right and he knew he couldn’t say anything to deny it. I pressed my lips against his jaw and peppered light kisses against his smooth skin, his warmth made me feel like I was in an oven. I nibbled on the skin of his neck and I felt him relax as he gripped my bottom again. Wanting revenge for marking me, I chuckled against his skin before sucking down harshly on the junction of his neck and shoulder, teeth sinking into it. Mingyu hissed and was quick to push me back and look at me with a glare.
“What? You did it too.” I raised my eyebrows at him, his lips were red and plumper than usually. His hair was disheveled thanks to me and he looked so much more attractive that I kissed him again, his tongue pushing into my mouth this time. I moaned into his mouth as he squeezed my bottom again, not minding his aggressivity this time. I reached for the buttons of his shirt and started popping them open slowly. I couldn’t get enough of him and I wanted to feel more. We never did more than make out, mainly because I didn’t want to, but right now I wanted to feel all of him. Mingyu didn’t mind me and continued kissing me hungrily—until a key was pressed into the key-hole and we both froze. I pulled back stiffly, gripping onto his shoulders tightly.
“Fuck.” I cursed quietly, wide eyes staring back at Mingyu, “You need to get out, right now!”
“How?” Mingyu’s eyebrows rose as I quickly scrambled off him and tried to smooth down my clothes, “Do you want me to teleport? Because I sure as hell can’t do that—”
“Shut up!” I snapped and panicked more when the front door opened, “Please do something! You look—”
“Y/N?” Seungcheol’s deep voice rang through my apartment and my heart went wild, my worst nightmare getting confirmed. Fuck, this is so bad. Mingyu was up on his feet instantly, some of his buttons now done, but he didn’t have enough time to hide before Seungcheol would be in the living room.
“Why is your front door unlocked?” Seungcheol called loudly from the hallway, he was taking off his shoes. Mingyu walked up to me and I quickly tried to smooth his hair down as I ran my fingers through it, trying to make it look like when he arrived.
“Uhm, I—” I cleared my throat when I realized it was really dry, “I went to the—convenience store! Got back a few minutes ago and—forgot it!”
I hated lying to Seungcheol, I actually never lied to him before, and it made me feel horrible. He deserved to know the truth but I wasn’t ready yet to face his judgmental look and scolding of a lifetime. He would probably hate me and never talk to me again. What I had with Mingyu was like a safe heaven, I wanted to have it for a little longer.
“You’re an idiot!” Seungcheol was in my kitchen, probably rummaging for snacks, “I told you to always lock your door!”
“Sorry!” I called back while Mingyu picked up a hair tie from the coffee table and threw it at me, motioning at my hair. It probably looked like a bird’s nest and I clumsily pulled it into a very messy bun, which probably looked horrible. I turned to tell Mingyu to move away from the sofa, but instead he pressed one last kiss, soft and short, against my lips before stepping around me and walking towards the window. I couldn’t help but smile at him before sitting down on the ground again and picking up a random paper.
“Why are you so quiet—” Seungcheol’s voice died out when he walked inside the living room, eyes fixated on Mingyu, “Kim Mingyu.”
“Choi Seungcheol.” Mingyu turned around, the two men glared at each other. I quickly took a sip of my coffee, to make the dryness in my throat go away. Seungcheol was shooting daggers at Mingyu, as if his eyes were laser, and my heart started beating faster and faster when they remained silent. Did Seungcheol know? Did he realize what was going on before he walked in? I bit my lower lip nervously as I looked up at the two men, who were still squaring up each other. Mingyu didn’t succeed in doing all of his buttons, but at least he buttoned his jacket, which concealed a bit of his exposed chest. His hands were in the pockets of his pants and he wore an amused smirk on his lips as he dared Cheol to speak with a simple look.
“What are you doing here?” Seungcheol asked accusingly, eyes narrowing when Mingyu’s smirk widened. For a second, when Mingyu gave me a glance, my heart stopped beating. Will he tell Seungcheol? Blow everything to shreds? Mingyu promised he wouldn’t, he’ll remain quiet, right?
“Had some business to speak with sugar, of course.” Mingyu answered once his eyes were back on Seungcheol, the lie rolling off smoothly his tongue. I let out a sigh of relief and Seungcheol threw me a scrutinizing look, to which I just shrugged. Watching my best friend, I realized he was wearing similar attire to Mingyu’s, except Cheol was wearing a black turtleneck underneath his jacket.
He tsked and bit down on his lip piercing, “What business? I made it clear to stop involving her in this!”
“It has nothing to do with our meeting today, Seungcheol,” Mingyu’s voice turned reassuring and I watched as my best friend’s shoulders relaxed. What was that meeting about?, “I was just debating if I have to assign bodyguards for Y/N or not—”
“And I told you, I don’t need bodyguards!” I snapped with a glare, playing along with his lie. Mingyu scoffed and threw me a look.
“As if I care about your opinion—”
“Why don’t you assign Vernon as my bodyguard then, hmm?” I raised my eyebrows and Mingyu’s jaw ticked, he threw me a warning glare.
“I live straight across, she doesn’t need a bodyguard, Mingyu.” Seungcheol snapped, just as riled up by my words like Mingyu was. What was so bad about having Vernon as my bodyguard? He’s literally one of the few friends I have. And he’s buff, I’ve seen it when he wore casual clothes once when we went to the gym together. That was also the first and last time I went to the gym.
“And when you’re not around?” Mingyu snapped, turning his fake reason into an argument. I sighed and leaned my head against the sofa.
“Can you both stop?” I asked with a groan, lifting my head when both men stared at me, “I have to study and you’re disturbing me. Leave, both of you.”
“I’m not leaving, I just arrived!” Seungcheol snapped, crossing his arms in front of his chest. I rolled my eyes and searched for the next paper that I had to study.
“Sweet dreams, sugar.” My heart skipped a beat when Mingyu’s voice turned softer at the nickname and I bit my lower lip, peeking at Seungcheol to see him glaring at Mingyu before looking at me questioningly. I quickly cleared my expression and scowled towards the giant.
“Right,” My voice dripped with sarcasm, and for once, I really didn’t want to say hurtful words towards Mingyu, it felt wrong, “As if I could have any sweet dreams after seeing you.”
“Suit yourself.” Mingyu said with a nonchalant shrug before walking off, not casting even a glance back at me. My heart picked up again and I gulped, fearing I said something too harsh. We still bickered, but I stopped being so mean to him and I was afraid I upset him just now. Staring after Mingyu with furrowed eyebrows, I failed to notice the curious but confused glare Seungcheol was giving me. I gulped and made a mental note to text Mingyu after Cheol leaves to apologize and wish him sweet dreams.
“So,” Seungcheol grinned once Mingyu was out the apartment, leaving me anxious and stressed, “What are you studying?”
“Economy.” I answered blankly, reading through my notes. Seungcheol sat, where Mingyu was sitting a few minutes before, and laid down on my sofa, stretching his muscles.
“Ah, it’s so good to take a little rest.” He muttered to himself quietly and I hummed.
“Were you able to attend Uni classes this week?” I asked curiously as Seungcheol sighed.
“No, Mingyu had me running around to collect drugs and shit all week,” He sighed again before turning onto his side, “How was your week?”
I turned my body towards him when he poked my shoulder, “Long.”
Seungcheol giggled and I extended my arm to run my fingers through his hair in a comforting manner, “Our geometry professor is slowly killing me. He gave us three more assignments this week and we aren’t even done with the other five he gave us a month ago.”
Seungcheol grimaced and closed his eyes, “Fuck him, he’s such an ass. Who can do so many assignments? It’s not like you are robots.”
“I know…” I sighed and continued to look at Seungcheol until he opened an eye. His forehead had creased and I could see how tense he was even though he tried to relax.
“Hey,” I let my hand rest on top of his as I scooted closer, resting my chin on the edge of the sofa, close to his chest, “You can talk to me, Cheol, when things get hard. Especially now that I know everything. Stop burdening yourself so much.”
A soft smile spread onto his lips and I mirrored it, feeling my heart full of love for the person who stood by me in my most difficult moments, “I love you, you idiot.”
“I love you too, Cheol, massive asshead.” We both started giggling and he interlaced our fingers before his eyes fell on the coffee table.
“Do you need help studying?”
“Are you sure you are ready to compromise your much needed sleep?”
“Anything for the lady.”
“Where do I even start then…”
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       I sighed into my scarf as I nuzzled further into it, shielding my face from the cold breeze. Spring came around but the weather was still the same gloomy and cold, like it was all winter. I gripped the straps of my backpack tightly as I leaned against the wall of the building, sipping from my warm coffee I bought from the wending machine placed in the main hall of the University. Classes were over and the economy exam written, to which I studied all night with the help of Seungcheol. I got three hours of sleep and caffeine was the only thing keeping my eyes open and brain running at this point. I really just wanted to go home and sleep until tomorrow, but I had plans with Vernon since last week for today. We decided to grab lunch together and meanwhile my stomach grumbled quietly, I still only wished to go to sleep in my warm bed, shielded from the cold breeze and loud people walking around me. My phone started ringing and I fished it out of my pocket, pushing off the wall of the building.
“Hello.” I greeted loudly as a loud group passed by me.
“Good morning,” Vernon greeted cheekily and I scoffed as I walked towards the front of the institute. I was in the garden beside the library as I had to return a few books.
“Morning was hours ago, Vernon.” I muttered with a grimace as I took another sip of my coffee.
“You sound like you just woke up.”
“I wish,” I sighed into the phone with a pout, kicking a smaller rock in front of me, “I just finished classes.”
“Oh? Already?” Vernon sounded taken aback and I heard shuffling on the line, “I thought you had afternoon classes today—”
“Did you, perhaps, forget that we agreed on a lunch date today?” I asked accusingly, stopping for a second out of surprise. But the sudden anger didn’t last for long when I realized if Vernon wasn’t ready, I could cancel and just go home and sleep.
“Sorry!” Vernon exclaimed, his voice sounded to be away from the phone, he must have put me on speaker, “I didn’t exactly forget! Just a little—”
“You forgot, Vernon.” I cut him off laughing, walking lazily by the side of the building, “It’s fine, actually.”
“How cold is it outside?” His voice was right next to the phone and I hummed as I looked around.
“Cold enough to start freezing after fifteen minutes of staying outside.” I concluded after a few seconds of thinking and Vernon shuffled again.
“Shit!” He called loudly and I chuckled as I finally got to the front of the University. Five guys walked towards me with smiles on their faces and I returned it when I recognized them from Seungcheol’s course.
“Hi, Y/N!” They greeted loudly.
“Hi, guys.” I waved a bit before continuing my walk, “You’re still there, Vernon?”
“Okay, listen—” He took a deep breath and I started grinning, knowing he was about to rush out a really long sentence in one breath, “I’ll be there in twenty minutes, because yeah, I totally forgot that we agreed on that lunch date and I’m really sorry, you can rat my ear off at the restaurant, but do you think you can go inside and wait there for me, because I’ll send you a text when I get there?!”
I laughed as I watched the little crowd gathered on the side walk curiously, “I can totally go inside and wait for you—”
My mouth fell open when a few girls moved away whispering to each other, offering me a clear view of what caused the little commotion. My heart dropped to my stomach and then it started beating faster and faster as I remained a gaping fish.
“Uhm, Y/N?” Vernon asked, confused by my sudden silence. My eyes made contact with the person’s who was laying against his metalized grey Land Cruiser, easily as tall as the car.
“Uhm, yeah—” I muttered back to Vernon as I watched a wide smirk appear on Mingyu’s lips. The guys and girls that were watching us started whispering louder and my cheeks became pink as I nuzzled further into my scarf, “I just—uh, remembered that I have to work today.”
I swallowed hard in regret for having to cancel the lunch with Vernon, but he wasn’t even ready, so I didn’t really waste his time. Mingyu’s gaze electrified my body, suddenly the fatigue I felt disappeared.
“Irene called earlier, I really forgot…” I trailed off as I slowly walked closer to Mingyu, leaving a decent distance between us. His arms were crossed in front of his chest and his muscles bulged through his black leather jacket; he raised his eyebrows.
“Ah, shit,” Vernon sighed disappointed and there was shuffling before his voice was close again, “That’s fine—I was running late either way.”
“I’m really sorry,” I apologized again, unable to look away from Mingyu, “Can we re-schedule?”
“Of course, Friday?” Vernon was excited and I hummed as I took a quick sip of my coffee.
“Friday it is, but it has to be a breakfast date.”
“I’m cool with that, talk to you later.”
“Talk to you later.” I hung up with a smile and finally looked down, breaking eye contact with Mingyu, to put my phone back into my pocket. When I looked back up his eyebrows were furrowed and he pushed off his car, with two long steps he was directly in front of me.
“Who are you going on a date with?” He asked lowly, jaw clenching.
“Vernon, and it’s not that kind of date, so chill.” I answered him while rolling my eyes and Mingyu glared at me.
“I told you to stop seeing Vernon.”
“Yeah, and you thought I’d listen to you—a possessive, manipulative, bossy—”
“Boyfriend.”
“Not boyfriend.” I gave Mingyu a look, which he returned, before he dipped his head and pressed his lips against mine. My eyes closed and his honey-like cologne filled my nostrils as his soft, tasting like smoke, lips pressed back harder. Then I realized everyone could see us, Seungcheol was still at University, he could see us.
“Mingyu.” I snapped as I pulled back abruptly, eyes boring into his.
“I just wanted to give my sugar a proper greeting—”
“Not in public, you know.” I stepped back and took a sip of, the now lukewarm, coffee.
“I’m tired of sneaking around—” Mingyu snapped and I scoffed.
“Then leave me, easy as that.” I snapped back and Mingyu’s eyes narrowed at me as he lowered his head slightly, to be eye level with me.
“You still think there’s any chance that I’ll ever leave you alone?” A cocky smirk crossed his lips and I had to bite my lower lip from letting my own appear on my lips, “I’ve been obsessed with you since the first time I saw you—”
“I’m still not very keen of you, so—” I interrupted him with a shrug, watching as Mingyu’s eyes darkened just in the slightest.
“These past three weeks we’ve spent together tell me something different, Y/N.” I scoffed, knowing well he was right and I had nothing to say back, so I pushed him back by his shoulder and side stepped him.
“You make me stay out in the cold weather when your warm car is a few feet behind, how gentlemanly of you.”
Before I could open the door for myself, Mingyu gripped my arm and pulled me back slightly, opening the door for me. I rolled my eyes and made sure he saw it as I sat inside and he shut the door for me. I sighed out as the warmth seeped through my body slowly and threw my backpack in the backseat, looking out the window as I drank the last of my coffee. Mingyu entered the car and ignited the engine to life, even more people looking our way at the loud roar of the engine.
“Just drive away and stop showing off, please.” I whined and lowered my head as I quickly buckled up the seatbelt.
“Your wish is my command.” And off we took at a rather aggressive speed. Mingyu wasn’t a patient person and he certainly wasn’t when it came to driving. He sped around like a madman even if there was heavy traffic and made dangerous maneuvers.
“I told you to stop driving like this!” I snapped as I held onto the doorhandle, fearing for my life when Mingyu sped through the third yellow traffic light.
“And you’re still seeing Vernon.” He fired back nonchalantly, his hand coming to rest on my thigh.
“You seriously can’t be comparing something like my friendship with Vernon to you trying to kill us both!” I exclaimed and almost yelped out when pedestrians went to cross the street and Mingyu had to hit the brakes hard, “Please!”
“Fine, fine,” He sighed out, glancing at me, “I’ll drive more carefully.”
“Thank you.” I snapped as my heart continued to race and his palm gave a reassuring squeeze to my thigh.
“Are you taking me home?” I asked when I saw him driving closer to my neighborhood. I couldn’t be happier; I was still tired.
“No.” Mingyu answered shortly and I groaned.
“I’m really sleep, I studied all night with Seungcheol after you left. Just take me home before I fall asleep—”
“But you could still go on your lunch date with Vernon, right? You weren’t asking him to take you home.” Jealousy and venom dripped through Mingyu’s tone and I couldn’t help giggle, amused by his reaction.
“Exactly.” I answered him, placing my palm over his before he could say anything else. I interlaced our fingers and leaned my head against the headrest.
“I’m taking you away from the city.” Mingyu spoke up and I looked at him with raised eyebrows, “But I’m not telling you where to, it’s a surprise.”
“Ah,” I sniffed and pulled my lips in a grimace, “so this is where you finally kill me?”
Mingyu groaned and threw me a quick look, his fingers squeezing mine in warning, “Stop saying shit like that, it’s not hilarious.”
“Yeah, yeah…” I grumbled and bit my lower lip, thinking of how he never answered my text I sent last night while Seungcheol was in the bathroom showering, “Was I too harsh last night? You never answered my text…”
A small smile traced Mingyu’s lips and I looked down at our intertwined hands, “No, I figured you were with Seungcheol, so I didn’t want to cause even more anxiety by answering.”
A smile spread on my lips as I looked up at him, “I was more anxious that I hurt you…”
“You can’t hurt me anymore, sugar.” His pretty smile formed into a smirk and I rolled my eyes, turning my head away from me.
“We’ll speak in the afterlife, after the cops find my body lying in a ditch somewhere.” I muttered quietly to myself, thoughts of me mysteriously dying always swarming in the back of my head. I was exposed to a dangerous world and I wasn’t stupid, I knew what dangers lurked in the shadows. Mingyu wasn’t just anyone. He was a well-known leader in the world of illegal affairs and everyone feared his power and his team. He had many enemies and he also hated many people. I knew one day I could just disappear as a statement for Mingyu from a rival gang. And I was afraid, but maybe it was worth risking it for Mingyu. If I was already going to hell, might as well truly enjoy myself in the meantime.
       It took us a whole hour by the time we got to the place Mingyu had in mind. It was a nice cozy looking house, for which you had to take the highway and then halfway a dirt road that led deep inside the forest to get to it. I looked at Mingyu questioningly a few times as he turned on the car lights, the tall pine trees obscuring the bright sunlight, but he remained focused on driving with the occasional squeeze to our intertwined fingers. I wasn’t necessarily nervous about what we could possibly be doing at a place like this, I was more nervous about what Mingyu had planed for us. Were we here to test my loyalty? Were Joshua and Jeonghan here too, to interrogate me and see if any of my answers match with what they dug up about me? Or did Mingyu just want to spend more time with me in a secluded place? Many thoughts swarmed in my head until the moment we stopped and Mingyu told me to get out of the car. His eyes were glinting with excitement and it slightly eased my nerves, even though I wasn’t sure if he was just excited about something obscure or just about being here. With the loss of the sunlight here, the air was chilly and I shuddered in the cold as I walked up to Mingyu, who seemed to be perfectly fine in the cold weather dressed thinly.
“So…” I cleared my throat and glanced at the pretty, wooden house; it looked like a cabin, “What are we doing here?”
His eyes fell on me and a smirk spread on his lips as he draped an arm around my shoulders, “Scared, sugar?”
I bit my lower lip and matched my steps with his as he started walking towards the house, “Maybe.”
Mingyu chuckled amused as we walked up onto the porch, smirk fading into a small, rare, comforting smile, “We’re here because I want to teach you something, Y/N, relax.”
“Maybe I’ll relax when you tell me what you want to teach me.” I looked up at him as he knocked on the door and he turned his head toward me, pressing a kiss against my forehead.
“I’d ruin the surprise.”
“I hate surprises.” I muttered and sighed, turning towards the door when it opened.
“Oh!” The old man seemed surprised to see us standing in front of his front door, “Mr. Kim! We weren’t expecting you today!”
Mingyu just nodded his head and brushed past the old man, pulling me after him, rudely without even waiting to be invited inside, “I haven’t visited in long. How’s Momo doing?”
The old man tensed at Mingyu’s words and I narrowed my eyes when a teasing smirk made its way onto his lips, “She’s—she’s alright.”
“Is she home?” Mingyu continued, obviously enjoying how uncomfortable the old man looked.
“She’s not—Mr. Kim.” The old man gulped nervously and I caught his eyes glancing behind us for a second. Getting uncomfortable by the interaction between the two men, I cleared my throat.
“I’m Oh Y/N,” I stepped away from Mingyu and extended my hand towards the old man, “Nice to meet you, and sorry for barging in uninvited.”
Mingyu cleared his throat behind me and I watched the old man hesitate before he shook my hand lightly, “Nice to meet you, Miss Oh. I’m Hirai Takumi.”
“Oh, just address me comfortably, Mr. Hirai.” I bowed my head a little as I felt a hand on my shoulder, but the old man quickly shook his head.
“I insist, Miss Oh.” I opened my mouth to speak up again, but Mingyu gave me a look as he pushed me inside a small kitchen.
“Stop being so rude, we didn’t even take off our shoes!” I whisper-shouted at Mingyu as Mr. Hirai rushed past us inside the kitchen.
“We don’t have to be respectful while we are here.” Mingyu said with a shrug and loudly sat in the chair by the table. I threw him a hard glare as I watched the poor old man scramble around the kitchen. I felt uncomfortable, disrespectful and pity towards him. So, I took off my shoes swiftly and left them in the doorway before I walked up to the man and took the little cups from his hands.
“But Miss Oh—” He exclaimed and I threw him a small glare to silence him. He didn’t say anything else as he took the teapot and avoided Mingyu’s eyes as he walked to the table to place it down. Mingyu was glaring back at both the man and me as I placed a teacup in front of him and the other at the vacant seat.
“That’s for Miss Oh—”
“I’m not thirsty, Mr. Hirai, take a seat and drink instead of me.” I spoke with a small smile and the old man stood rooted as he watched Mingyu. When I turned my glare at Mingyu he sighed and with a nod the old man was sitting and pouring tea for Mingyu and himself. I also sat in the last empty chair at the table and watched the two men quietly.
“Where’s your wife?” Mingyu asked after he drank from the tea.
“She’s working—in town, Mr. Kim.” The old man hurriedly answered.
“I suppose that’s what Momo is doing also?” That devilish smirk spread onto Mingyu’s lips again and I glared at him as the old man looked down at the table.
“Ye—yes.” He whispered as an answer and visibly jumped when Mingyu dumped his gun on the table. Why the hell are we here? And what is going on between these two?
“Mr.—Mr. Kim, I—”
“Hoshi will come tomorrow to talk business with you, old man, however, right now, I’m here with my woman to teach her how to shoot.” Mingyu interrupted Mr. Hirai and stood up, pulling me up from the chair as well, “I suppose you still have those weapons?”
“Of course!” Mr. Hirai sprung to his feet and bowed his head, “They are in the barn, do you want me to walk you there?”
“No, I know my way around.” The smirk was back on Mingyu’s lips and I couldn’t watch the old man flinch anymore, so I grabbed Mingyu’s arm and pulled him away from the kitchen. He paused as I took on my shoes and when I went to open my mouth and scold him, he grabbed my nape and started walking me towards the back of the house. I hissed and threw him a glare when he didn’t let go, but Mingyu ignored me as he continued to walk me from behind. I didn’t miss the way his eyes ran up the stairs and fixated on a door for a second longer than it was necessary, but the door of the barn was in front of me and I gave it a push.
“Can you let go of me?” I finally snapped, annoyed by the way he was walking me around.
“No.” Mingyu simply hummed and lightly tugged on my nape, hauling me in the opposite direction that I was trying to walk in. I threw him a side-eyed glare but he wasn’t looking at me, eyes focused on a chest. He leaned down and opened it with one hand; my eyes widened when it fell on the various weapons hidden inside.
“What is this place?” I muttered to myself, heart starting to beat quickly when Mingyu smirked back at me, with a dangerous glint in his eyes.
“My fun place.” His smirk spread wider and I stepped back when he finally let go of my nape. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and watched him rummage through the weapons with a frown and grimace.
“These are all old as fuck…” He muttered to himself as he picked up a large shotgun, “I told the old man to change them…”
My stomach rumbled loudly and I looked away when Mingyu threw me an amused look, I never got to eat and I was pretty much starving at the moment. I hoped Mingyu would just ignore it and not demand the old man to serve us with food as well, I realized how much he wanted us out of his house. Mr. Hirai was terrified of Mingyu and I was so curious as to why.
“Come, sugar.” Mingyu straightened back up, with a rifle and a smaller handgun in his hands and walked to the rotten door and pushed it open. I looked at him for a second longer before I followed him out, the back of the house led directly into the woods. There was a long table placed out at least twenty steps away from where we were standing and the pine trees around the area had all sorts of men made scars in their trunks. On the long table there were ten beer bottles and Mingyu turned toward me with a serious expression.
“This,” He raised the rifle to be eye level with us, “Is an AR-15 rifle, made in the US.”
I hummed and watched him curiously, “If you push this button, the magazine comes out. First, you check to see if you have bullets, okay?”
“Okay.” I muttered quietly, hugging myself tighter. I wasn’t foreign to weapons but I never felt comfortable around them. Mingyu was serious, eyebrows frowning, as he took his time explaining the weapon and how to use it.
“You slide back the loaded magazine and then pull the charging handle,” He pulled it back easily, it made a loud clicking sound; I gulped, “If you push this down, the safety is off, you push it back up, the safety is on, understood?”
I cleared my throat and made eye contact with Mingyu, he had a dangerous glint in his eyes, “Understood.”
“Cool, now,” He hoisted the gun up, the end coming to rest against left shoulder as he came to stand next to me, “Safety off and—”
He fired twice, the loud sound made me jump and slightly step behind him, and he clearly hit two beer bottles spot on, breaking them, “That’s how you do it, sugar. Your turn.”
“Mine?” I asked with a frown, glaring at the rifle, “I don’t want to shoot with that.”
“Sugar, this is not about what you want and what you don’t want.” Mingyu said impatiently with a sigh and I heard a click, he pushed the safety on, “You have to learn this.”
“No, I don’t.” I argued with him stubbornly, taking a step back when he extended his arm for me to take the weapon, “I don’t want to hold that.”
“Y/N,” With his free hand he gripped my nape again and tugged my closer, “There will be times when no one will be able to protect you but you, yourself. Alright? You have to be ready and knowing how to defend yourself with a weapon, is the first step in your journey, okay?”
“I know how to shoot with a gun, okay?” I snapped loudly, glaring at Mingyu when his eyebrows rose mockingly, “You’re not the first person who tries teaching me how to use a gun, okay?”
“This is a rifle.”
“Rifle or whatever!” I exclaimed and slapped his arm away, “My father and Seungcheol already taught me.”
“Then show me.” He said with a shrug and pressed the rifle against my chest harshly, leaving no room for argument. I glared at him and took the weapon with a sigh, the weight of it foreign in my arms.
“If you want to teach me how to defend myself, teach me hand-to-hand combat, not this bullshit.”
“This is not bullshit,” Mingyu rolled his eyes and stopped me when I went to position the rifle against my shoulder, “What did I just teach you?”
“Check the magazine first.” I muttered and quickly pushed the button he pointed at and held the magazine in my hand. Mingyu hummed contently so I slid it back in then went to pull the charging handle, which was a lot harder to do than Mingyu made it look like.
“And you will learn hand-to-hand combat too, when the right time comes.” I threw him a glance as I raised the rifle, positioning it against my right shoulder, just like Mingyu did before. He came to stand behind me and his body warmth invaded mine, making me shudder. He corrected my posture and his finger curled next to mine on the trigger.
“Safety off.” He whispered in my ear and pressed a kiss against it, making me gulp loudly. I pressed the safety down and Mingyu took a tiny step back to watch me. I closed my right eye and started firing towards the beer cans, my ears ringing from the loud gunshots that went off next to my ear. I shot until I emptied the magazine and when I lowered the rifle, with the safety on, I frowned seeing that I only shot three bottles.
“Sugar,” Mingyu chuckled and gripped my cold, rosy, cheeks, “I thought you said you knew how to shoot!”
“I do!” I snapped, eyebrows furrowing, “With a handgun, I never held a rifle before…”
“Did no one tell you to keep both eyes open? So that you see your target clearly? You watch too many movies…” He trailed off and shook his head, pressing a quick kiss against my lips before he strolled towards the long table.
“Yeah, whatever,” I muttered to myself as I watched Mingyu place ten new bottles on the table, “Both eyes open, right?”
I raised the riffle again and placed it against my right shoulder, adjusting my grip on the trigger as I kept both eyes open, pointing it at the first bottle. Mingyu was still standing there and when he turned around, unintentionally, the rifle was pointed at him directly. The safety was still on, but he didn’t know that, and we stared into each other’s eyes, unmoving. Mingyu went stiff and I could see as his eyes darkened even from where I was standing, his shoulders moving back as he adjusted his leather jacket. He never expected me to point a gun at him, let alone a rifle, even though he’s done it twice to me now. And once he even pulled the trigger, even if it was an unloaded weapon, he pulled the trigger. His left hand sneaked in his pocket and instinctively my finger pushed the safety off and wrapped around the trigger, my body going rigid. Yes, I trusted him most of the time, but the little voices in my head telling me that he could kill me still anytime, were screaming at me that this was that time. You could never know when you had a mafia leader standing in front of you, with a hand hidden in its jacket’s pocket. I let out a quiet sigh when he pulled his hand out and held the pack of cigarettes, slowly starting to walk towards me. I subtly pushed the safety back on and cleared my throat when Mingyu stopped at the end of the rifle, chest pressing against it. His eyes still watched me like a hawk as he lit one cigarette and inhaled deeply from it. I watched, and felt through the rifle, as his lungs expanded then decreased. He blew the smoke out in one long breath and it floated into my face. I narrowed my eyes but didn’t flinch.
“What a fucking woman.” He muttered to himself with a chuckle before he stepped away, coming to stand behind me at a good distance to not bother me. I pushed the safety down and now with both eyes open, I focused on the bottles and started firing. Shards of glass flew around the table as I hit all ten this time, shattering them all in half. My heart thumped loudly and my ears rung as I lowered the rifle with shaky hands, pushing the safety back on. I turned my head to look at Mingyu, who was watching me pridefully with a big smirk on his lips.
“See what it does if you keep both eyes on the prey?” I chuckled and handed him the rifle back as he looked over it, “Well, seems like my training takes an end here.”
“So soon?” I raised my eyebrows as he took another puff of his cigarette, “You think this is enough?”
“Did you hit all ten bottles?”
“Yes.”
“Then yes, this is enough for you,” He chuckled and threw his finished cigarette on the green floor of the forest, making me frown, “You said you know how to use a handgun, I have nothing else to teach you.”
“And you had to take me here? For nothing?” I groaned as Mingyu walked up to me.
“This wasn’t nothing.” He rolled his eyes and I mirrored him.
“Yeah, it was.”
“Shut up, I got to spend time with you,” He muttered and leaned down to press another kiss against my lips, longer this time. He tasted of smoke again and I pulled back when I felt his tongue trying to push my lips apart.
“No, not here,” I muttered, running my hand through his still curly hair, “I’m freezing and starving and tired. You only get a kiss if I’m satisfied with my needs.”
“Fair enough, sugar,” He smirked and intertwined our fingers, “Let’s go then, but I’m not taking you home.”
“Didn’t I just tell you what I want?” I groaned as I closed the barn door behind us, Mingyu threw the rifle on the creaky floorboards uncaringly.
“You never said you wanted to do all of that at your apartment.” His smirk was cheeky and I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Where else at can I do them then?” We walked inside the house and Mingyu didn’t bother to close the door as he pulled me down the hallway.
“My house, of course,” Mingyu chuckled and glanced back at me, “There Seungcheol can’t interrupt us at least.”
I bit my lip as I thought back to the first, and only, time I was at his mansion. I wanted to argue with him more, but his mansion was too nice and he knew I liked it. It was everyone’s dream place, I wasn’t about to turn down a dinner there cooked by Mingyu, who apparently has some nice culinary skills.
“But I’m sleeping at home, Seungcheol will notice that I didn’t return for the night.”
“Fine—” Mingyu stopped in the doorway when we spotted Mr. Hirai sitting on the staircase leading upstairs, “Go clean up, old man. Sleep tight tonight and make sure to bake those pastries for Hoshi tomorrow, you know he’s nicer to you when you give him those.”
“Yes, Mr. Kim.,” Mr. Hirai bowed as he stood, averting his gaze, “Have a pleasant afternoon, Mrs. Oh.”
“Thank you, you too!” I bowed my head before Mingyu could pull me after him and I watched as Mr. Hirai’s eyes turned sad as he closed the door after us. I let Mingyu walk me to his car and open the door for me.
“Who is this man and what’s your business with him?” I spoke up once Mingyu sat inside, turning towards him.
“No one that should concern you, you won’t see him ever again—” He started the car and I frowned at his words, “So forget about him.”
“You should treat him with respect, he’s your elder.”
“And he’s also a liar and thief.” He snapped with a scoff and I looked out the window.
“Just don’t speed around, please.” I dropped the topic, not wanting to piss him off while we were in the car. Mingyu just hummed and turned on the radio, all conversation ceasing between us as I closed my eyes and let my head rest against the headrest.
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          My body jumped when I felt a hand gently cup my cheek, alerting me awake. I hummed and nuzzled into the warm touch as best as I could, sighing when a finger tenderly stroked my skin. Slowly, I realized the car wasn’t moving anymore and it was quiet inside too, the radio turned off.
“Wake up, sugar, we’re home.” Mingyu whispered and I sighed, his breath fanning my face.
“Home?” I asked, voice raspy, and slowly opened both eyes. The lights coming from the outside were dim and I watched as Mingyu smiled fondly at me, his finger still stroked my cheek.
“Yeah, home.” He whispered and my heart skipped a beat at the softness of his voice, a vulnerability I’ve never heard before coating his words. His defenses seemed to disappear as he looked at me quietly, his eyes running over my face. His forehead had faint wrinkles and his lips were pouty when he was serious, his eyes narrowed just the slightest bit. His dark irises offered comfort and my heart started beating quickly, a feeling of content overtaking me.
“Did I sleep the whole ride back?” I broke the comfortable silence and Mingyu hummed, leaning closer. I watched him curiously as he pressed a long kiss to my forehead, his warm touch disappearing from my cheek when he pulled back. I wanted to grip his hand and place it back where it was, but Mingyu was out of the car before I could do that. Sighing, I took my backpack from the backseat, undid my seatbelt, and exited the Land Cruiser. Stepping outside, I realized we were standing in Mingyu’s garage, he did take me back to his mansion after all.
“How does takeaway sound?” His loud voice rang through the garage and I shivered at the coldness as I walked up to him; he was standing in front of the door that led inside the house.
“Anything that comes fast is good, I’m seriously starving.” I muttered, rubbing my empty stomach when it rumbled loudly, “I’ve never been this hungry before.”
Mingyu chuckled and intertwined our fingers as he pushed the door open and brought me inside with him. Instantly, the warm air warmed me up and my eyes fell on the pool that was inside, making a mental note to ask Mingyu to let me swim in it once. I loved spending a day or two doing nothing at the pool when it was summer.
“We have some leftover from yesterday, you can eat those before we order anything.” Mingyu spoke as he pulled me around the house, the ground floor I was already familiar with. We stopped in the hallway to take off our shoes and coats, I placed my backpack on the marble floor and put on the slippers Mingyu pushed my way.
“You’ve never been upstairs, right?” Mingyu looked at me with his eyebrows raised and I glanced behind him, eyes running up the marble staircase. I looked back at him and nodded my head no.
“Let me show you around then.” He extended his hand again and I took it, rubbing my eyes to make the sleepiness go away. We didn’t go straight upstairs, however, we walked past the marble staircase and towards the only room I haven’t seen from downstairs. He pushed the white door open and my eyes fell on different machines you see in the gym. The room was big and breezy, the air conditioning was still on as if someone had just been in the room.
“You even have your own gym, huh.” I muttered, turning my head to look at him, “I could come around and work out sometimes.”
“You go to the gym?” Mingyu asked surprised, closing the door again.
“I’ve been there once with Vernon and it was enough for a lifetime.” Mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed and I threw him a look, silencing him even before he could say anything about Vernon. We walked towards the marble staircase and Mingyu teasingly bowed his head and made way for me to go up first, but we both came to a halt when someone cleared their throat. I turned my head towards the living room, where the voice came from, and quickly jumped away from Mingyu, ripping my hand away from his.
“Fancy seeing you here, Y/N,” Wonwoo’s deep voice echoed around as Mingyu glared at me for my reaction, “Also fancy seeing you two can’t greet.”
“I had no idea you were home. I didn’t see your car in the garage.” Mingyu said with a shrug and he crossed his arms in front of his chest. My eyebrows rose as I looked between the two males.
“Home?” I spoke up confused, looking at Wonwoo for answers.
“He didn’t tell you?” Wonwoo chuckled and started walking towards us, a book in his hands, “I live here too. This is our house—”
“It’s my house, but Wonwoo miraculously moved in one day without even asking me if I was alright with it, so…” Mingyu cut Wonwoo off with a scoff and I gaped at the two.
“But last time I was here—”
“I was running an errand, that’s why you didn’t see me inside.” Wonwoo answered with a smile as he stood at the foot of the stairs, leaning against the railing.
“But you picked me up—”
“Yeah,” He chuckled and started walking up the stairs, Mingyu and I made space for him, “How do you think I got here so fast? I had just arrived home when Mingyu called me.”
“I see.” I muttered and bit my lower lip as I watched Wonwoo casually strut to a room. He stopped after he opened the door and turned towards us to give us a wink before he disappeared inside and shut the door closed. Still biting my lower lip, I looked at Mingyu with a glare.
“And now why are you glaring at me?” He asked with a scoff as he continued his walk up the stairs, me hot on his tails.
“Because you never told me Wonwoo lived with you and that ultimately led to him seeing us holding hands!” I whisper-shouted, still glaring at Mingyu’s broad back.
“Wonwoo is way more observant than you think, we don’t have to tell him or show him that we are together, he already knows—”
“Because you told him!” I accused Mingyu as I followed him blindly towards a room.
“I didn’t!” He was quick to defend himself, throwing me a small glare as he opened the door, “I told you he’s observant.”
“As if I believe that, you always brag about shit, Mingyu—” I stopped talking when Mingyu grabbed my waist from behind and pushed me lightly further inside the big bedroom. It was Mingyu’s bedroom, his honey-like scent was everywhere with a tinge of light smoke floating in the air. My eyes took in the big room, a round bed sat in the middle of it, the sheets a light green. He had a big TV hung on the wall opposite the bed with a fireplace underneath it. There were some cushions laying on the marble floor here and there, the colors a mix of light green and white. He had a walk-in wardrobe that you could see inside from here and probably a private bathroom as well.  I was surprised to see so many plants inside the room and a big bookshelf filled with tons of books. A professional looking camera was placed on his nightstand, with a few polaroid’s laying messily around it.
“This is my room,” Mingyu muttered next to my ear as he rested his chin against my shoulder, “It’s a lot cooler than yours.”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes, nudging his side softly. Yeah, it was a lot bigger than mine, but I live in an apartment and he literally lives in a mansion.
“Is this the moment where you finally get me in your bed?” I asked teasingly, turning my head and making our noses brush against each other.
“As much as I’d love to—” Mingyu groaned and bit my lower lip playfully, “It’s not. You haven’t seen my office yet.”
“I have permission to step inside your office?” I asked him teasingly as we left his bedroom, walking towards a dark wood colored door, “Isn’t it like…forbidden for others?”
“This office? No.” Mingyu answered with an amused chuckle, pushing the door open, “The office at the headquarter is forbidden to certain people, however.”
“Can I still go inside?” I asked with a pout, making Mingyu smirk as he turned on the lights.
“We’ll see when we get there, sugar.” He let go of my hand and walked further inside, drawing the curtains closed and I pouted when the beautiful night view of the city was gone. His office was dark, unlike the rest of the house which was mostly covered in white marble, and it was also smaller. He had bookcases on both sides of the wall and a big mahogany desk sitting close to the big windows.
“Wonwoo likes to read, so these are practically his books.” Mingyu explained when he saw my eyes running over the bookcases once again.
“Did you put them here just for him?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“No,” Mingyu chuckled and leaned against his desk, “They were here before too, just a lot less filled with books.”
“You don’t like to read?” I hummed as I walked around the room, my fingers running over the material of the black, leather sofa.
“Not my favorite activity.” Mingyu muttered and I hummed as I pulled the curtain just a bit to be able to peek outside.
“What’s your favorite activity…besides stalking me.” I added with a pointed look towards Mingyu and he laughed quietly, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
“Other than ruining others lives, you mean?” He mused quietly to himself, watching me as I walked up to him, coming to a stop in front of him, “Spending my time with you.”
I fought the smile that tried to break onto my lips and crossed my arms in front of my chest, trying to look at him accusingly, “Before me? I wasn’t always in your life.”
“I didn’t do much before,” He said with a shrug and extended his arms, to rest them against my waist, “I invest too much of my time into my work and I don’t have time for other activities that I could enjoy—”
“Come on!” I groaned and undid my arms, resting them on his shoulders, “You were a kid too once! You definitely didn’t sit around your house every day, doing nothing.”
Mingyu’s eyes darkened at the mention of his childhood and I raised my eyebrows questioningly, stepping between his legs when he pulled me into him. He watched me with narrowed eyes before pressing his lips against mine. I rolled my eyes but kissed him back, excusing him for dodging the subject for once. He hated talking about his childhood and whenever I brough it up he did something to change the subject. I knew it wasn’t my place to constantly push him, but I just wanted to get to know him better. Knowing someone’s childhood gave you an insight onto that person, a chance to get to know them better, to paint a general image of them. Mingyu was an enigma and I always wanted to know more about him, feeling like there always would be layers that I wouldn’t get to, because there wasn’t enough time for us.
“I like taking pictures.” He muttered against my lips as he pulled back from the kiss, his eyes still closed. I hummed and pressed a soft kiss against his left cheek, then his right cheek. Mingyu sighed quietly and I smiled, pecking his nose.
“You’re tired,” I muttered and he opened his eyes, pupils dilated, “Let’s order that takeout and call it a day…we are both tired, actually.”
“Are you sleeping over then?” Mingyu asked hopefully, eyes fixated on my lips. I licked them and unconsciously leaned further into him, letting his warmth envelope me.
“No, I’ll call a cab.” I whispered and shut him up with a kiss, easily slipping my tongue inside his mouth as he opened his to argue. He tasted like smoke and something sweet, and I yelped when I was hoisted up in the air, legs wrapping around Mingyu’s hips in fear that he’d drop me. He kissed me hungrily as he turned around and my ass came in contact with the hard surface of the wooden desk, as Mingyu gently placed me on top of it. My fingers tangled in his curly hair and I pulled on the roots when Mingyu harshly sucked on my tongue, making me tighten my legs around his hips.
“I can never get enough of you.” Mingyu mumbled against my lips and I smirked, playfully biting his jaw, “You’re so sweet.”
We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment and then our lips were moving against each other feverishly again, my fingers tangled in his locks at his nape, as Mingyu tried to push me down on the desk. I placed one hand on the desk and leaned down on that elbow, Mingyu’s hand running down from my neck, breasts, to the hem of my shirt. He slipped his warm hand underneath and I moaned at the feeling, heartrate picking up once again. My cheeks were flushed and my lungs screaming for air, but I could never get enough of his lips. He ignited a fire inside me that I never wanted to stop feeling. As Mingyu’s hand started traveling up on my skin, I buckled my hips instinctively and he groaned when I accidentally grinded down on his growing member. My back curved the slightest when he let his hand rest on my breast, feeling the perky bud, and my free hand travelled to the belt of his pants, fumbling around to undo it.
“Mingyu—Oh!” The shrieking voice made Mingyu and I jump and we bumped our foreheads together. I hissed and Mingyu stared into my eyes for a second with want and regret, before pulling back from me and helping me sit straight up on the desk. I huffed and ran a hand through my hair, angry that yet again someone interrupted us, but anxious that someone caught us making out. However, when my eyes fell on a familiar blonde head, they narrowed into slits. What’s the blonde woman from the auction doing here? Do Mingyu and her know each other?
“Kim Mingyu!” She shrieked again, seemingly unphased by what she saw a minute ago, and completely ignored my existence. I glanced at Mingyu questioningly as his infamous smirk was back on his lips, he seemed to be ignoring me too. I cleared my throat and got off the desk, standing up straight. The woman walked inside with swaying hips, her short and revealing dress clung to her body perfectly.
“I wasn’t expecting you tonight, Sana.” Mingyu’s tone got velvety and almost flirty. I narrowed my eyes at him as the woman, Sana, giggled with a high pitch and stopped incredibly close in front of Mingyu. My jaw clenched when Mingyu didn’t step back, instead he pressed a kiss against the corner of her mouth. I gulped down the anger that was bubbling up and cleared my throat again, gaining their attention for once. All warmness, vulnerability, and affection were gone from Mingyu’s eyes as he watched me with a neutral expression, his smirk never faltering. The woman raised one eyebrow and extended her hand giggling.
“Minatozaki Sana,” She said with her high-pitched voice, I realized that’s what her voice was like, “And you are…”
“Oh Y/N.” I took her hand and gripped it firmly, shaking it with a warning squeeze, but I made sure to keep my voice leveled and warm. I didn’t know if my anger was showing, or the discomfort I was feeling, but Mingyu seemed to grow amused at the exchange between Sana and I.
“Oh!” Sana exclaimed once again and I let go of her hand, not missing the subtle glare, “I’ve seen you before, haven’t I?”
“Oh,” I faked my confusion, eyebrows softly furrowing, “We’ve met before? I don’t think so…I usually remember significant people.”
Sana gulped and a sweet smile ran over her lips as an airy chuckle left her mouth, eyes running over my body in a quick check out.
“Well…” She spoke up, placing a possessive hand on Mingyu’s shoulder, “My memory must be better than yours than…I’m here to talk business, Mingyu, who’s she again?”
I looked at Mingyu, biting the inside of my cheeks to stop myself from ripping her hand off my man. She clearly saw us making out, what was she putting on this act for? I watched Mingyu expectantly and impatiently, but he didn’t even look at me as he answered Sana.
“You’re here for business, right? Then who she is, is not important.” I took a deep breath, counting to five to stop myself from punching Mingyu and dragging this woman away from him by her fake blonde hair. Sana giggled and looked back me, her red lips pulling into another sweet smile, but her eyes narrowed malevolently. I glared at Mingyu, but when he avoided eye contact, I knew I wasn’t going to get anywhere.
“Well, I’ll leave you alone to talk business.” I snapped with a honey-like tone, threw Sana a warning glare, then strutted to the door and slammed it hard behind me once I was out the room. My jaw clenched as I took deep breaths, palms turning into fists as I stopped myself from waltzing back inside the office to drag the woman out and away from Mingyu. I cleared my throat and my eyes fell on Wonwoo’s closed door; would I be bothering him very much if I were to ask him to drive me home? I didn’t like bothering him, but I really needed to rant to someone right now, and he was the only one who, apparently, already knew about Mingyu and I. But feeling like I would be bothering him, I stormed downstairs and into the kitchen, opening Mingyu’s fridge aggressively. If I didn’t eat right now, I think I’ll pass out. I took out the leftover rice that sat at the back of the fridge and one big tomato. I sat at the marble counter and started eating, stuffing my mouth with nothing else but rice and tomato. My blood was boiling at the thought of that filthy woman staying alone with Mingyu in his office to talk business. If she acted like that when I was around, even though she doesn’t know I’m Mingyu’s girlfriend, then I don’t even want to imagine what she’s doing right now, when I’m not there. I sighed and paused eating, closing my eyes to clear my mind. I can’t be this jealous, I’m not a jealous person; I have to trust Mingyu. Would he really chase me for six months to leave me for the first woman that throws herself at him? I’m sure this happens very often, he’s a very handsome and powerful man, but it still leaves a bad aftertaste in my mouth. What if him chasing me for six months was just his way of having a little fun? What if I am worth nothing in his eyes, like he said, I’m not important. But then all those tender moments we shared the past three weeks were fake? When he looks at me so vulnerably, that can’t be fake, right? I sighed and rose to my feet to start rummaging around the cupboards, see if I could find anything to cook dinner for Wonwoo, myself and…Mingyu. I’m sure Wonwoo hasn’t eaten anything as the fridge is pretty much empty and there’s no takeaway.
           In the end, I found some noodles hidden deep inside a cupboard, and as they weren’t expired yet, I decided to cook them. They didn’t have anything much around, so I just boiled the water for it and cut the bags containing the flavor open. I heard feet thudding lightly against the marble floors as they descended the stairs and I tensed, ready to see Sana’s annoying face. But I was met instead with a smiling Wonwoo.
“Ah, what smells so tasty?” I chuckled and sighed out, raising a stray noodle into the air.
“I found some not expired instant noodles in your cupboard, so…I guess that’s what we are having for dinner.” I said with a shrug and Wonwoo walked inside the kitchen, sitting at the counter, opposite me.
“That sounds great.” He muttered and placed his book on the counter, intertwining his hands and resting his chin on top of them, “I’m really hungry.”
“Yeah, I’ve been starving the whole day. I only had breakfast.” I answered him, eyes falling on the half eaten rice I found in the fridge, “When Mingyu said you had some leftovers, I didn’t think he meant just rice.”
“Yeah,” Wonwoo laughed, his deep laughter bringing a smile onto my lips, “I cooked his favorite dish, we ate it all.”
“He has a favorite dish?” I muttered with a sigh, letting my shoulders slouch as the noodles were almost cooked.
“I heard Sana is here—”
“Who wouldn’t hear her shrieking voice?!” I said with a scoff and Wonwoo nodded. As I looked at him, I just noticed he was wearing round glasses.
“She can be annoying, yeah.” Wonwoo said quietly, fingers tracing the cover of his book, “You don’t have to worry—”
“I’m not!” I snapped a bit too quickly, clearing my throat when Wonwoo shot me an understanding look, “There’s no—nothing to worry about, right?”
“There really isn’t.” He answered back reassuringly and I hummed, turning off the gas underneath the boiling noodles.
“I didn’t know you wore glasses…” I trailed off with a smile and Wonwoo chuckled, pushing them up on his nose.
“I have bad eyesight, I’m too lazy to wear contacts at home.” He explained as he opened his book to the page where he left off at.
“I understand…” I muttered quietly as Wonwoo went back to reading. Finding a strainer after five minutes of searching for it, I poured the hot water with the noodles into it, filtering the two apart. I dumped the noodles back into the pot I boiled them in and sprinkled the bag containing the sauce and flavor over it, mixing them well together. Wonwoo continued to read as I moved around the kitchen quietly, preparing three plates and chopsticks for us to eat with. Just as Wonwoo closed his book and took his glasses off, voices from upstairs filled the silence as they grew closer and closer. Wonwoo and I shared a look and I leaned against the cold counter; arms crossed in front of my chest.
“Stop! That was so funny!” Sana shrieked as they came in view, eyes widening when she saw me still there.
“You cooked dinner?” Mingyu’s eyebrows rose as his neutral expression slipped a bit.
“She did, so hurry up with your business, Mingyu.” Wonwoo spoke instead of me, his deep voice demanding and accusing. Sana’s eyes traveled between the three of us and a sick smirk crossed her lips, she clapped her hands together and made a sound of disbelief.
“You finally hired a maid, Mingyu!” The oxygen left my lungs and I felt as my cheeks slowly grew warm, teeth clenching so hard together, I was afraid I’d break them. Mingyu’s jaw ticked as well, but he did a good job of smoothing out his expression, even having the audacity to laugh. Wonwoo was on his feet, arms crossed in front of his chest, as he glared at Sana unimpressed.
“She’s—”
“I’m unsure how you run things in Japan, Sana, but I’m sure your mother, or sister, or brother, or father aren’t your maids… I mean, you cook too, don’t you?” I asked, while pushing my hair behind my shoulders, chuckling fakely, as I watched Sana’s smirk slowly slip from her lips, “I wish I could invite you to have dinner with us, but, Mingyu, my boyfriend, forgot to tell me he was having you over for business…”
Upon hearing me call Mingyu my boyfriend, Sana’s amused expression disappeared altogether and I could see Wonwoo smirk from my peripheral vision. Even Mingyu’s lips pulled up in a big, prideful, smirk and he placed a hand on Sana’s shoulder, rather harshly.
“You heard my girlfriend, I’ll see you soon for more business, Sana,” He turned the blonde woman around and walked her towards the front entrance, “Lovely seeing you tonight.”
“Ah,” We could hear Sana giggled, “Sweet dreams, Mingyu.”
I took a seat at the counter and pushed the pot of noodle in the middle; Wonwoo sat down too, but he didn’t stop smirking. I threw him a small glare as I put noodles in my plate and he too put some in his, as Mingyu’s loud footsteps approached us. I looked up at him when he stopped next to me with a glare and his smirk extended into a wide grin, his canines showing.
“I’m your boyfriend, huh?” His tone wasn’t mocking, it was pleased, and I glared at him.
“Sit down and eat while there’s still food.” I snapped and looked away from him, eyes falling on an amused Wonwoo.
“You’re not my boyfriend.” I snapped and made sure he heard me, especially after this whole thing with Sana.
“Really? Because you clearly—”
“Wonwoo,” I cut Mingyu’s words off, ignoring him when he scooted his chair closer to mine, “Would you mind driving me home?”
“Of course, not—”
“I’ll drive you home.” Mingyu said with a scoff, but I just ignored him. I don’t want to see him tonight anymore, or I might punch him in the face.
“Thank you, Wonwoo, I appreciate it a lot.” I offered the man a smile and he returned it, sneaking a glance towards Mingyu. I could feel Mingyu glaring at me as he dumped the remaining noodle on his plate, but I didn’t look at him.
“And Wonwoo—” Wonwoo looked at me with his eyebrows raised, chewing his food, “Please, don’t tell anyone about Mingyu and I.”
“I won’t, don’t worry.” He muttered reassuringly and I sighed quietly, slowly eating my food. Even my appetite was gone now. I felt Mingyu shift beside me and then he was pressing his lips against my cheek in a hasty kiss. I ignored it, but my heart skipped a beat. I needed a day, at least, to cool off and forget about Sana, and how Mingyu acted around her towards me.
“Thank you for cooking dinner.” Mingyu whispered into my ear and I hummed, staring down into my plate as I continued eating the food I cooked. Yeah, I definitely need to sleep as soon as I get home.
Part 4
156 notes · View notes
guerilla935 · 4 years
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My Favorite Fishing in Video Games Where Fishing is Not Core Game Play
A really awesome surprise for me is always to boot up a game that is full of action and suspense to be introduced to a fishing side activity. I have toiled away at fishing in games for hundreds of hours at least. It has gotten so bad in some instances that my friends have asked me why I haven’t just taken the plunge into real fishing. It’s definitely because that is a lot of work and in real life I don’t catch a fish every 30 seconds. They have also wondered why I don’t just play a fishing simulator like Planet Fishing (Shout out to Planet Fishing that’s a great game). And that’s where I have to think for a while. Fishing while you have better things to do like save the world is very special. You aren’t fishing because it’s the objective of the game or because that’s why you are there, you are fishing because it’s fun and maybe you need a break to swing a fishing rod instead of a sword. And then you can stop, and get back to fighting or whatever the rest of the game entails. Below are games that have fishing in them for mostly no reason at all. I have shamelessly spent way to long with my bait in these waters and absolutely loved every second of it and I hope that you (the reader) can find a lot of relaxation in these waters as well.
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Pokemon Series
Since the very first Pokemon game there has been fishing. You get the old rod from some guy and then you are free to fish up as many goldfishes that you want hoping that one of them will grow up to be a 21 foot tall dragon. Pokemon has combined their fishing with their main game play and makes you at least start a battle with the fish you drag onto shore. Now fishing in Pokemon is pretty subpar mainly because a single Pokemon game hasn’t really been known to have more than a handful of Pokemon that you can fish for. Also if you are looking for a strong water type Pokemon you could do a lot better than fishing for it. Typically a Pokemon player will fish about 5-10 times total. And although fishing for Pokemon isn’t all that great it has been in every game for over 20 years and that is pretty impressive. It’s a small detail that makes the world of Pokemon feel like a real world of wild creatures.
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Sonic Adventure DX
In Sonic Adventure DX you are given the choice to play as a lot of different characters, one of which is named Big the Cat. Most of the characters are combat characters that rely on speed and attacks to get through levels, some even wielding rocket launchers and extremely oversized hammers. However when you start the story of Big the Cat you are thrown in a completely opposite direction. Big the Cat is a giant purple cat who lives in the jungle with his best friend Froggy. Froggy accidentally swallows one of the most powerful objects in the Sonic universe and Big the Cat must chase him all over the world trying to fish him out of where he is hiding so that he can eject the Chaos Emerald out of him and they can return to their life in the jungle. The fishing mechanics in this game actually are really good and this is probably because Sega had just put out a series of mildly successful Bass fishing games before releasing this game. Either way its absolutely hilarious that Big the Cat gets to defeat Chaos 6 right before Super Sonic has his showdown with Chaos Perfect.
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Final Fantasy XV
In Final Fantasy XV you play as Noctis and his favorite hobby is fishing. When I first played this game I sped through it and never fished once and reached the end of the game never indulging Noctis in his hobby. When I replayed Final Fantasy XV I fished for 50 hours and then ejected the disc from my console. The fishing in Final Fantasy XV is surprisingly deep with a lot of the vendors supporting what you could call a fishing road trip. In the game it is extremely dangerous to be out at night so I would plan day trips to lakes to maximize the amount of fishing I would get to do. I would prepare days in advance to make sure I could afford the trip and that I had enough supplies to both protect myself at the lake and have enough supplies to last the whole day. Final Fantasy XV really is a game about getting really distracted and fishing is probably its best distraction. My days on the lake were the perfect balance of peaceful and rewarding, this game offers an awesome reward of well planned trips and a good haul of fish.
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Final Fantasy XIV Online
Final Fantasy XIV is the only game I have ever played where the fishing played exactly like its combat. When you are fighting enemies in a dungeon in FFXIV you are constantly adding buffs, landing hits, using consumables, and managing resource bars. When you are fishing in FFXIV you are constantly adding buffs, landing hits, using consumables, and managing resource bars. Note you are doing so at a much more leisurely and less life threatening pace but you are still doing it. I never maxed out the fisher class but I got it into the expansion content which was a really long and relaxing experience. Yet another Final Fantasy title where the real meat of the game is in getting distracted. When you fish you also sell on a player market that fluctuates based on market price just like real fish. You get the relaxing fishing side of the game and also an aggressive economic number crunching side as well. I spent way too long with a real pen and paper deciding how much I should sell for on any particular day and bossing around my two cat girl employees.The MMO aspect of the game adds so much to what you would expect to be a very solitary experience.
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The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Have you ever gone fishing for hours to receive an empty bottle? That is exactly what kick started my addiction to fishing in Twilight Princess. An empty bottle in Twilight Princess means another way to heal yourself, another way to add oil to a lantern, another way to carry useless water around. The only way to get the 4th bottle in the game is to go to a dedicated fishing spot and fish until you pulled it out of the pond. The actual fishing is pretty weird, it involves motion controls which I still am not entirely sure what they do or how to properly use them but it is really fun to hold the pole in gyroscope and set the lure in the water waiting for fish to come get a nibble. Although the physics with the water make it difficult to see if you have actually gotten a bite or not it still is enjoyable the other 85% of the time it works.
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Stardew Valley
So this one is at the top of every other “fishing in games” list and there is a big reason for that. It’s really good. I think in my first Stardew Valley farm I gave up farming entirely and fished all day every day and stopped to buy food to replenish my energy and go back at it. I really didn’t care about getting rich or making enough money to expand the farm or get to know everyone I actually spent about 50 hours just fishing. The fishing takes some skill and a pretty keen eye but the random jerks of the fish and the rhythm of the game play are so fun to try to master. It’s a part of Stardew Valley that I felt like I was continuously improving on as time went on and it was really fun. I mean I don’t recommend it because you’ll end up moderately poor but it was really fun.
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Fantasy Life
Fantasy Life offers you 12 potential jobs, you could be a brilliant blacksmith or a devious potions maker, a lumberjack or a knight, a hunter or a seamstress. However your inner dad is calling and you decide you want to play through a fantasy RPG as a fisherman, hell yeah. the story is relatively short so you can quickly unlock a lot of locales to fish at and there is a manageable economy system that lets you deal in fish in advantageous ways. You can even pick up cooking on the side and make fancy dinners and sell the fish for higher you can do that as well. Fantasy Life is like a clever mix between Animal Crossing and Final Fantasy XIV and it kind of succeeds and falls short of it. The fishing also takes a good amount of skill and rhythmic approach to master so it doesn’t get boring almost at all until you have cleared the game.
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Maple Story 2
Maple Story 2 is one of the most expressive and cutest games that I have ever played. And the fishing is no different, its all about style. The fishing in Maple Story 2 is monotonous and can get old but you do it for the chibi clout. Because much like the rest of the game you can look however you want and do whatever you want and sometimes you just feel like kicking back and throwing lure in the water at the beach. I never got super into the fishing in this game but it won me over with its adorable design and stylish atmosphere.
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Animal Crossing Series
Of course I had to include the most popular game right now. Animal Crossing has become something of a connection between people when we can’t leave the house. A thing we all have in common on social media and with our friends. My first experience with Animal Crossing really starts with New Horizons and I was completely blown away. The fishing isn’t super complex or difficult but the range of what you can pull out of the water and what you can do with it is absolutely breathtaking. For a game about cartoon people living with humanoid cartoon animals the fish looking photo realistic. And the museum where they can be kept is stunning. The museum looks like it was designed to capture the feel of being in a museum and matches the design of all the great real life aquariums and observatories. Although it is a bit frustrating when your rod breaks it is easy enough to make one (or worst case buy one) to get your bait back in the water.
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Super Smash Bros. Ultimate
Tell me I’m wrong, you can’t. Isabelle getting added to Smash brought a very powerful fishing move that isn’t practical all the time but is really funny. Wouldn’t recommend this game if you are looking to relax and fish but I do recommend hooking your friend with a fish hook and send them flying off screen if you had to.
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Minecraft
I have a very special role in Minecraft when I join a friends server. A role that I assign to myself. While everyone is off getting awesome swords, spelunking for diamonds, and exploring the infinite landscape, I build a small wooden shack and I set up a farm with an irrigation canal and start fishing. A steady supply of food is necessary and while I’m hanging out with my friends in a server I’m happy to be the one to provide it. The fishing in this game is probably the slowest of all the ones on this list but is the most useful. just throwing the fish in the oven creates food that can help keep you and your companions alive for a long time. I think I definitely have my limits with Minecraft fishing and I couldn’t do it for hours on end it is rewarding to set up shop and find a nice place to settle down for a few hours to fish.
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Fire Emblem: Three Houses
This is the only Tactical RPG in this post. Fire Emblem: Three Houses has sections between combat where you can go and talk to your students and do other activities. We aren’t here to discuss other activities though we are here for the fishing. The fishing allows you to catch fish for some reason that I’m sure is good but never intrigued me enough to learn. All I know about the fishing in Fire Emblem: Three Houses is that it’s fun. I started to bust through combat just so that I could get back to fishing. The funniest part about this one is that the fish has a health bar. Pressing the A button at the exact moment finds a way to become easier and still find ways to mess you up. Either way, I’m not that interested in tactical RPGs but I heard there was fishing in this game so I had to play it and it was worth it.
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Jak & Daxter: The Precursor Legacy
In Jak & Daxter, Daxter gets turned into a small animal by dark eco while exploring a dangerous island off the shore of his home with his best friend Jak. To get back to the island to investigate, the pair have to borrow a boat owned by a fisherman who is troubled by an invasive species of poisonous eel that is ruining his haul. He asks Jak to catch fish for him without catching any eels. This fishing mini game can only be done once but it is going to either be something you think is very unique or a huge waste of time. All I’ll say is that the sound that the fish makes when it goes into the net is absolutely a reward in itself it is so satisfying. But anyways, more intense than some other options here but get it done so you can get back to absorbing eco powers and jumping on stuff.
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Shovel Knight
Shovel Knight is a 2D action platformer but you can also fish. And you fish for the best kind of fish, money. You can get some other stuff too like health pickups and magic replenishers but we know what you want. You see that little glint and you pop out the fishing rod and pull out those money bags. If you are devoted enough you can even get a surprise from the Troupple King (long live his highness) if you fish out the right stuff. I don’t even know if I fished all that much when I played Shovel Knight but it’s hilarious that you can.
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NieR: Automata
I did not play a lot of NieR and that’s because I was fishing. I don’t know why all I did was fish but you throw your little robot in the pond and you lean on a magical stool so honestly it was good enough for me.
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Club Penguin
If you know then you know. In hind sight there really wasn’t a whole lot to do in Club Penguin but this mini game really messed me up. You basically get to move up and down, catching fish and avoiding trash and other hazards. Basically trying to do this and catch as much fish as possible to avoid having to ask your parents for real money to pay for snacks to feed a virtual ball of fluff with eyeballs. I don’t really remember how challenging it really was but I remember getting decently high scores to about like 100 fish per round so I guess it was pretty easy if I could do that at age 10.
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Rune Factory 4
I’m gonna be very honest about this one and say that the fishing in Rune Factory 4 is basically just Animal Crossing fishing but more anime. The fish react to the pole the same, the fish almost look the same, and the buttons to respond are the same. What makes this one special is where you can take it. You can fish in the little moat in town, in the lake, in a dungeon full of monsters, in a lake that is eternally the season fall, anywhere. You are constricted by the boundaries of Stardew Valley and that is how much energy you have and how much time you have in the day. It’s still fun to fish but I wish that they had used their fun fantasy setting to give the ability to fish up some cool made up fish instead of strictly things that exist in real life.
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Xenoblade Chronicles 2
Ok, diving, fishing, same thing. Diving in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is just fishing with your whole body. It works a lot in the same way as Pokemon where you fish up monsters to fight and get the rewards from them. It is a completely optional activity however if you decide to undertake the grind of scavenging in Xenoblade Chronicles 2 then you will never hurt for money ever again. It makes my wonder why Rex stopped being a salvager to do odd jobs because this was PROFITABLE. The main incentive is that there are spots that spawn a certain enemy that drop cores. Cores are like gacha or loot boxes that contain new anime girl partners that deal huge damage in fights. They even have their own side quests and story lines. I spent maybe 30 hours grinding before giving up on this game and while it does become tiresome I really enjoyed the random rewards of possibly getting a new companion or a really cool weapon.
It’s been tossed around that every great RPG has fishing in it. I won’t argue that point but a lot of great RPGs certainly do have fishing in them. Everyone needs a break sometimes and fishing is the perfect activity to remind us to stop and take that break. Even games can get long and without these distractions it might be so much harder to complete these harrowing tasks. Don’t forget to take breaks and just enjoy the sound of the water every once in a while because there’s no rush playing video games.
Honorable Mentions:
Kingdom Hearts: Sora fishing with his bare hands on Destiny Island
Persona 4: Weird aqueduct fishing
Persona 5: Marina fishing life
Sea of Thieves: A pirates life for me
3K notes · View notes
andypantsx3 · 4 years
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if i could keep cool | 4
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pairing: Todoroki Shouto / Reader
length: 20,322 words / 6 chapters
summary: A villain attacks Shouto Todoroki’s apartment and kidnaps what he apparently believes to be Todoroki’s secret lover. The bad news—for both you and the villain in question—is that you’re just there to clean the place. That’s how it starts.
tags: romance, reader-insert, accidental sugar daddy shouto, misunderstandings
warnings: aged up characters, eventual smut
There was no other word for it. Todoroki was a menace.
Though his schedule seemed to return to something approximating normal, he was still in the apartment often enough that you began to anticipate him being there. Even when he wasn’t, however, he made life difficult enough for you by leaving behind gifts, with progressively more disappointed notes if you didn’t take them. You didn’t know how it was possible to convey that flat tone in the shape of his letters, but you could practically hear it as you read them over.
Worse, he seemed to know exactly which of your weak points to exploit to get you to want the gifts--leaving you several more books, a bag of the really nice coffee beans from the coffee shop you’d told him about, and a sinfully soft scarf as the weather turned colder. When you continued to ignore the insane amount of money he seemed to think passed for a tip, fresh vegetables started cropping up on the countertops with notes that said things like I’m not going to eat these, if you don’t take them they will be wasted to guilt you into compliance.
A month into it, an entire grocery order started showing up every Thursday shift. My refrigerator is full so don’t try to stuff any of this in there, his note commanded.
He was a master of manipulation, it seemed, and to what end you didn’t know. You made mental notes to not mention any further likes during your conversations, but when he was there, Todoroki’s conversation was so easy and so natural, he continued to pull all the details out of you with ease.
So things you really, really liked kept turning up. And as you talked to him, Todoroki was turning into a thing that you really, really liked as well.
It was overwhelming.
The final straw was a Friday afternoon when you hit up the fancy coffee shop just outside campus. You walked in with the extra money you’d saved up not buying your own groceries, and the vague idea that you would get a head start on an upcoming paper. And then, the barista very obviously glanced between you and a sheet of paper taped to a corner of the register, and refused to let you pay for your order.
“Your order is free!” she chirped cheerfully.
You stared. “What?”
“It’s already taken care of!” she said, and immediately, a cloud of suspicion settled over you.
“What’s the occasion?” you asked.
She smiled. “The occasion is someone already paid for you!”
You glanced around the coffee shop, but you could find nothing but a few unfamiliar students purusing books or churning out work on their respective laptops. You turned back to her.
“And if I were to walk into this coffee shop tomorrow, would the occasion also be that someone already paid for me?”
She nodded. “Yes! All your future orders are paid for, please come as often as you like!”
You gaped at her, and she cheerfully stuffed your coffee into your hands. Then you glared down at the white paper cup accusingly, and it stared back at you, looking like one half of a certain menace’s hair color.
Oh, he was in for it.
You stalked over to a table and whipped out your cell phone, shooting off a message so fast your fingers practically burned.
todoroki what the hell
To your surprise, you received a reply almost immediately.
It’s Shouto.
Like hell it was.
first names are for friends, not psychopaths. did you really pay for all of my future orders at the coffee shop?
Is this your first time there this month? he answered. Where do you usually go?
You stared at your phone. He’d done this a month ago? Also, no way you were telling him your budget spot where you picked up lukewarm bean water when you couldn’t afford four dollar americanos. The last thing you needed was for him to buy them out, too.
You got to your feet, marching back over to the barista.
She smiled. “Back for something else?”
“Yeah, how do I cancel the all my orders are paid for thing?” you asked. “Can you just delete whatever info he left you and charge me from now on?”
She looked you up and down. “Are you sure?”
You nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
She stared, then leaned in to whisper. “You do know who paid for all your orders, right? Are you actually sure you want to cancel?”
A migraine started in your temples. Had Todoroki actually come in here himself to give his information? Was he trying to get you caught up in the secret lover bullshit that was still swirling in the media?
“I’m extra sure,” you smiled, then went back to your table, satisfied.
No sooner than you had dug out your laptop, though, when your phone buzzed. You looked down at the name on the screen and paled. Todoroki was way easier to deal with via text when you couldn’t hear that low, smooth tone directly in your ear. His face and his voice were absolutely fucking mind-melting, and it would be hard to maintain your stubborn stance even in the face of just one.
Still, though, this was the last straw.
“How many times do I have to tell you that friendship is free?” you hissed quietly as you picked up.
“They told me you tried to cancel,” he said flatly, and your head whipped up to glare at the barista accusingly. She smiled.
“Todoroki--”
“Shouto,” he said.
“Fine, Shouto,” you said, “It’s been a month and maybe I let you get the wrong idea by accepting all of the vegetables and everything, but this ends here. I told you that it doesn’t cost anything to be friends with me, and you had better stop apologizing. It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, but--”
“Then do,” he said simply.
“What?”
“Then just appreciate it,” he answered. His voice was somehow even lower on the phone and a shiver went down your spine, despite your frustration with him. “Just accept them. Why is it so bad if a friend gives you things?”
God, he was such a rich boy, wasn’t he?
“Shouto, I do appreciate it,” you said. “But I don’t need any of that. And I know that you know this isn’t necessary--I highly doubt that you are buying Midoriya all of his weekly coffees or draping Bakugou in soft scarves. All you need to be friends with me is to just hang out, the same way you do them.”
Shouto was quiet a moment. “Hang out,” he finally said, slowly, like he was tasting the words in his mouth. Then, “Are you free right now?”
“W-what?” you managed.
“You don’t have class right now, right? Your last lecture just let out.”
You were surprised that he remembered your class schedule. Just how much had you told him?
“Uh, yeah?” you asked.
“Good, stay where you are. We’re hanging out,” he pronounced the words like they were foreign on his tongue, then hung up.
You stared down at your phone in shock. He wanted to hang out with you? Like, outside of his apartment?
There was no arguing the two of you got along relatively well, now that the threat of your crazy fandom and the weight of his mistake no longer hung over your relationship. You talked easily enough the one or two times you saw him during any given week. But so far your interactions had been somewhat limited, confined to the familiar space of his apartment and limited to the time that you had to be there. You texted a little outside of that, but you’d never just casually hung out.
Then the weight of his words really hit you. He was coming here? To the coffee shop? In full view of your entire campus? Was he insane?
You ran through a mental checklist of things in your bag that could be used to disguise him but came up short. You didn’t know exactly what he planned to look like when he put in an appearance here, but you were not interested in fanning the flames of the secret lover garbage that was still all over twitter and splashed across the glossy pages of the magazines at the grocery store.
You shot to your feet and threw your bag over your shoulder, then ran out the door, dashing for the campus shop that sat just outside the student center. You blew through the door and dove straight for the apparel section, grabbing the least heinous hat that looked like it would cover most of Shouto’s distinctive hairstyle while also drawing the least amount of attention to its wearer. You also helped yourself to a plain pair of sunglasses that would probably be kind of inappropriate in the fall weather, but would go a long way in hiding his eyes and that scar.
Why did he insist on having so many distinguishing features? Would it kill him to have dark hair and dark eyes like most of the rest of the earth’s population?
You threw the items and a wad of bills down on the register counter, then paused. A few small, slightly-wilted looking bouquets of flowers sprouted from buckets just beside the register in the colors of your university. You didn’t know what the colors or type of the flowers were supposed to mean, and they probably didn’t give off exactly the message you wanted to send, but Shouto had gotten you flowers as the first gift he’d ever given you…
You grabbed the least wilted looking bunch and threw them on top of the other items.
The cashier rang you up with all the urgency of a sloth, and you tapped your foot nervously as you waited. How was Shouto getting here? How long would it take him? Would he be at the coffee shop already?
You stuffed the flowers into your bag, then launched yourself out of the campus shop like a rocket, catching that mop of red and white hair just outside the entrance to the coffee shop. You put on a burst of speed and managed to jam the baseball cap down over his head before he pulled open the door. He turned to you in surprise.
“Y/N,” he said.
“Yes, hi, hello,” you managed while also trying to ram the sunglasses onto his face.
He let out a small huff of amusement. “What are you doing?”
“What you should have done before coming here, you absolute wackjob,” you said, finally managing to slip the shades over his high-bridged nose without poking his eyes out.
Shouto let you manhandle him to your liking, until his face and hair were mostly hidden under your university merchandise.
“Okay, you should be good now,” you said, looking him over. He still stood out, honestly, too tall and outrageously handsome, even covered up as he was. The sweater and well-fitting jeans he’d chosen would still draw anyone’s gaze straight to his trim figure, but it would have to do.
“We can’t go inside, though, you’ll look too shady with the cap and glasses,” you said. “We need to go somewhere outdoors.”
He stared down at you, one eyebrow lifted over the top of his sunglasses. “It’s fall.”
You thought for a moment.
“How do you feel about izakaya?” you asked. “There’s a street-side one not far from here that’s mostly outdoors. They’re good, and I think they’re still open.”
He nodded. “Do you go there often?”
You eyed him. “Oh no. If I tell you places I go, you apparently buy them out. The whole point of you being here is to prove that buying me things is stupid when we can just hang out.”
The corner of his mouth twitched like he was being told a joke you couldn’t hear. “Lead the way, then,” he said evenly.
You pulled him down a few blocks, expertly navigating your way through the winding city streets. You would never admit as much to him, but this place was one of your faves for good beer and cheap yakitori, and you could probably easily find your way both blindfolded and drunk. Shouto followed you easily, a tall, silent warmth at your back.
There were few people at the izakaya when you arrived, considering it was still a little early for dinner, and no one gave the two of you a second glance when you pulled back the curtains and helped yourselves to pair of stools in the corner of the stall.
“Okay, you have to get a beer and yakitori first," you said. "You can do whatever you want after, but the first round has to be that. Just trust me.”
“No vegetables?” Shouto asked.
You laughed. “I know that’s my brand. And there are good veggie side dishes. But there is nothing like fresh, warm, cheap yakitori and a really good beer, especially on a cool fall day like this. I know what I’m talking about.”
A soft smile pulled at his mouth. “So you do come here often.”
You stared up at him accusingly. “If you dare throw a single dollar at them, you’re in huge trouble. I know where you live.”
He smiled down at you. It was easier to notice how boyish his grin was when the rest of his face was hidden by his sunglasses, and heat flared in your cheeks. He was just so damn good looking.
It suddenly dawned on you how forward you’d been with him, sending him sassy texts and putting your hands all over him when you were attempting to stuff him into your university swag. Your relationship had progressed somewhat since that first book he’d bribed you with, but honestly, this was completely new ground for you.
Your face burned hotter. You’d been so, so inexcusably forward. Had you lost your mind?
Shouto seemed to be thinking about the hat as well. “So, do I look like a student at your university?”
You looked him up and down. Aside from your school’s name emblazoned across his baseball cap, he looked nothing like a student, too put together in his dark sweater and jeans that probably cost more than your monthly rent. You wondered if he’d even been within ten feet of an instant ramen cup in his entire life.
“Uh, no,” you said. “You look like someone forced you to wear a hat they panic purchased and it just so happened to be the least horrible one available.”
A smile played about his mouth again. “What were the other options?”
You grinned. “It was this one or a proud dad of a college grad cap.”
He let out a small huff of amusement. You smiled, then leaned forward as the man at the counter came over to take your order, making sure to cut Shouto off before he could attempt any rich boy tricks. You put in an order for two beers and what was probably a concerning amount of yakitori, then turned back to Shouto and almost fell off your stool when he was much closer than you’d expected.
“Do you have a teleportation quirk I don’t know about?” you asked, internally panicking at his proximity. He was close enough now that you could feel the heat of him and catch the scent of his cologne, light and fresh and disturbingly good.
He smiled that boyish smile again and your heart suddenly forgot how to do its job, freezing in your chest. “It’s cold.”
You rolled your eyes. “You have a fire quirk.”
You felt the air grow a little warmer around the two of you. “I meant for you,” he said.
You were torn between relaxing into the sudden warmth and freezing up in embarrassment. It was beginning to dawn on you just how attentive and thoughtful he always was, and you wondered vaguely if the gift giving was actually just a really extreme manifestation of that personality trait. Maybe being an awkward rich boy with a weird way of making friends was just part of the issue.
Your heartbeat suddenly kicked into overdrive. He was already so overwhelming to look at, incredibly brave, such a good listener, and way too easy to talk to. You did not need to pile on other endearing qualities to the frankly alarming number of things feeding into what was quickly becoming the fattest crush of your lifetime. Did he have to be so good all the time?
A hand suddenly reached out, pulling you closer so that you were practically fused to his left side. You stiffened, resisting the urge to curl into the warmth pouring off of him in thick waves.
Not good, this was so not good.
“Uh, you don’t have to do that,” you said, tongue thick, like you were speaking through a mouthful of applesauce. “I’m wearing the scarf you got me.”
Shouto tilted his head, and though you couldn’t see his expression behind the sunglasses, something like satisfaction curled the corner of his mouth. “Good,” he said in his deep tone, “but this will help too.”
“Really, you’re my friend not my personal space heater,” you insisted, trying to squirm away from him. “You don’t need to do this.”
He flared hotter, and a strong arm went around the back of your chair, halting your escape. “I don’t mind,” he said.
God it was like he didn’t even know what effect he had on people. People, of course, being cleaning ladies with twitters full of zoomed in pictures of his abs. It was not good for your health to be this close to him, couldn’t he just let you sit ten thousand miles away from him where both of you would be a little safer?
The izakaya owner interrupted this train of thought, pushing two beers and a plateful of yakitori between the two of you.
You instantly seized on the distraction, bringing a beer to your mouth to give you a couple moments for your brain to turn on again. It was refreshingly cold, and the flavor was nostalgic, tasting like breaks after class with friends and late nights stumbling back after several rounds of karaoke and drinking. You wondered now if, in the future, you would taste it and think back to the one time you’d hung out with Shouto Todoroki.
“It’s good,” Shouto said, looking at you over the rim of his own beer.
You smiled. “I told you.”
Then you shoved a stick of yakitori at him. “Now eat this and tell me I was right about it too.”
His fingers slid along yours as he took the stick from you, calloused and warm. “...You were right about this too,” he said after managing a bite.
You felt yourself puff up. “Of course I was.”
He smiled and helped himself to the rest. With the food and drink absorbing some of your attention, you were able to calm down somewhat, and the conversation returned to normal, you doing your best to forget about the sinfully warm arm curled around your back.
Here, too, Shouto was absurdly easy to talk to, the new venue doing nothing to dull his charm or the easy way that he pulled information out of you with a few, short, well-placed questions. Over the course of a few hours, you worked your way through a few beers and several more side dishes, the conversation never letting up. Shouto was just as intelligent and thoughtful as ever, and he made you laugh with a couple of unexpectedly short tempered comments. Even the discovery that he was not as princely as he usually seemed just fanned the flames of your crush.
It was only when the people around you began to shuffle off of their stools and pack up that you realized how late it had grown, and that you’d spent the entire evening hanging out and talking.
Shouto helped you off your stool when you stumbled a little, the number of beers you’d consumed suddenly making themselves known. “You’re more of a lightweight than I would have guessed by the conversation,” he teased.
You looked up into his face, realizing that he’d shed the sunglasses at some point during your conversation and you hadn’t noticed. Had anyone else noticed? No one had come over asking for an autograph. Maybe he was so unexpected at a place like this that the hat had been enough of a disguise.
You blinked, realized you’d been staring. “Nonsense, I’m a pro. I’ve put in many more beers at this place.”
Then your eyes narrowed at the slow movement his hand was making along the counter, what looked suspiciously like a stack of bills underneath. That little shit.
“Are you trying to distract me?” you demanded, grabbing his hand and stuffing the money back into it. “This is on me. I haven’t paid for groceries in weeks, thanks to somebody.”
Shouto smirked, looking strangely pleased with himself. His hand curled around yours, and his other came up to take your free hand. It was only when he’d transferred both of your wrists into one large palm that you realized what he was doing, plopping down a handful of bills on the counter quickly with his free hand, then pulling your backpack over your shoulder and tugging you away from the izakaya before you could make a scene. You’d been thoroughly outmaneuvered.
“I’ll take you home,” he said, steering you back out into the street. “Give me your address.”
“Shouto,” you whined, “this whole evening was supposed to be about proving you don’t need to spend money to be my friend. We were supposed to hang out.”
“We did hang out,” he pointed out, looking down at you from under the rim of that ridiculous baseball cap. “Your point was very much made.”
It was a testament to how tipsy you were, probably, that this warmed you. You forgot your annoyance with him almost immediately. “Really?”
He huffed a laugh. “Really. Now give me your address so I can take you home.”
You did and he plugged it into his phone. Then he led you along with one hand curled around yours. You spent the whole walk musing on how warm his fingers were in yours, how much larger his hands seemed than yours. Why was even his stupid hand so nice?
It was only as Shouto walked you to the door of your apartment that you remembered the last thing you’d gotten for him in the campus store. You quickly unzipped your backpack, shoving the bouquet of flowers at him.
“For you,” you said, pressing them into his chest. “You got me those flowers. These ones aren’t as nice, but I thought that you should have some too.”
He stared down at you, something strange glinting in his eyes. “You got me flowers.”
“Do you not like them?” you asked nervously. Was it weird to give a guy flowers? It was probably weird…
“I like them,” he declared, and a genuine smile flickered across his mouth. His eyes looked a little brighter, and his gaze was growing more intent by the second. “Now, you should probably get inside before I forget my manners.”
Forget his manners? You stared up at him in confusion.
He looked down at you for a long moment, and then he was suddenly very close, his face dipping down to yours.
“Get inside,” he said quietly, voice deeper than you’d ever heard it. “Please.”
You nodded, swallowing. You had just enough presence of mind to turn and unlock your door. Shouto guided you gently inside with a hand on your back, and then stepped back outside, smiling.
“I’ll see you on Tuesday,” he said.
You waved. “See you on Tuesday.”
You watched him make his way back down the street, only closing your door when you saw him turn the corner and disappear out of sight. Then you sank down against the door frame, heart feeling like it was going to beat straight out of your chest.
Shouto was the most overwhelming man on this earth. You were in such big trouble.
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simpsiren · 4 years
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lee taeyong x reader
description. I liked Lee Taeyong. A lot. And with every book I gave him, whatever purposes, I hid a love letter in between its pages. After all this time, I still wonder if Taeyong has yet to read even one of them.
Tsundoku— buying books and not reading them; letting books pile up unread on shelves, floors, or nightstands.
genre. fluff, angst, love letters!au, friends to lovers!au, one-sided love! au, bartender!taeyong, university student!reader
word count. 12.4k~
warnings. none!
a/n. was randomly scrolling through printerest when i found this word and suddenly this idea popped up in my headd. i had to change the meaning of the word so tha itll fit the story line better but the overall meaning is the same sooo. anyways that’s all i got for you now please enjoyy!
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Books. An interest both Taeyong and I shared since college. Though our interest laid in the same object, our uses for it were far from the same. For me, it’s for reading. Like how it should be used, its main purpose. Like any other bookworm, constantly having my head shoved in romance or fantasy novels. Taeyong on the other hand, he... he uses it as decoration. Something that to him, should be kept on shelves, unread for display purposes.
I got to find out quite quickly that it was a habit for him to collect books that had nice spines just so he could place them on his shelves. I’ve been to his home once. One entire wall was just shelves filled with books. It was aesthetically pleasing indeed, but it disappointed me that he didn’t even bother to read a single one. So we made an agreement that I’d read his books. If he were to buy a new one, he’d let me read it first before tucking it away to never be pulled out again. I guess that’s why my friendship with him worked so well.
Taeyong decided to work as a bartender after college while I, went to pursue my studies with university. Should say that I regretted that on-impulse decision of mine nowadays.
It’s Friday. I just got out of university, at one in the morning. What an ungodly hour, considering that my classes started at nine this morning. I agreed to meet Taeyong at his bar. Luckily for me, the distance between school and the bar wasn’t far. Taeyong took me as a factor into consideration while trying out jobs around the school’s area, just so he’d get to meet me more often. That, was one of the million reasons why I fell for him.
I dragged my feet across the side walk, the screeching of my boots scraping against the rough surface. As much as I tried to hold up my posture during my long trip there (it felt like I’ve been walking forever when really, it has only been ten minutes), my back slowly slouched with each step till I was fully slouching. The extremely poor and back paining kind. Can’t blame me. University is mentally draining, but physically as well, having to walk to different classes constantly that’s being situated on opposite ends of the facility. It’s a workout.
I looked up to take a breather, seeing the glowing sign above the bar. I gazed down, to the glass windows, noticing how there was a lot of people in there. Well, it’s a Friday night afterall. I placed my free hand onto the door’s handle, pushing it open and entering.
Classical music played in the background. People’s murmurs could be heard as they had their own conversations. The place was dimly lit with an orange hue; a calming atmosphere. I went right up to the bar, getting on an empty cushioned stool and adjusting my butt onto it. I looked around the area. Taeyong wasn’t to be seen. I only assumed that he was making drinks.
I took out my book from my tote bag, flipping to the page where I folded it’s edge to continue where I left off. I was already two third done with it. And I was determined to finish it by Monday just so that I could get a new book to read.
My head was faced down, eyes scanning each sentence as I blocked out the entire world, putting myself in my own little bubble as I imagined myself in the story’s plot, too immersed to give a single care for my surroundings.
Suddenly, a hand appeared beside me, tapping its knuckles against the wood to get my attention. I lifted my eyes up, seeing Taeyong standing in front of me. White button up shirt, three buttons unhooked, revealing the slightest bit of his collarbones in a way to tease you and having the urge to see them fully. Black dress pants with a belt that cinched on his waist, framing his lower body beautifully.
“Literally called you from two steps away and you didn’t hear any of it.” Taeyong leaned against the counter, elbows supporting him as his face got close to mine. “I was busy.” I said, lifting up my book slightly. “You done with that? I need to put a new book on the shelve soon. It bugs me that there’s an empty spot.” Taeyong shivered as he mentioned that, making me chuckle softly.
“By Monday, I promise.”
“Need anything to drink? You look worn out.” Taeyong eyed me up and down. I probably looked terrible since Taeyong scrunched up his nose and shook his head. “You know I don’t drink. I mean I can, but it’s still the school term. I can’t afford getting off track by anything.”
Taeyong breathed a short laugh in response. “Ah of course. Didn’t you say you wanted to dropout just yesterday?” Taeyong looked up for a moment before bringing his eyes back down on me with a teasing gaze. My mind went back to yesterday when I texted Taeyong a long ranting paragraph about how stressed I was this week. I frowned. “Should I?”
Taeyong bobbed his shoulder. “It’s up to you. But I sincerely think you should. I mean look at you.” He added a light scoff at the end, his hand going up and down in front of me. “I’m just worried.” He proceeded to shift his weight form one leg to the other, sliding his fingers into the pocket of his pants. I felt his sense of sincerity, invariably imbued. Another reason why I fell for him. He’s always caring, too caring for his own good, especially towards me.
“Will think about it.” I mumbled, taking note of my book’s page number since I was too lazy to fold it before closing and shoving it back into my tote bag. “Anyways, when are you getting off work?”
Taeyong turned around to grab something. I realised it was his wallet and phone as he shoved the wallet into his back pocket and kept his phone in his hand. “Right now.” He flashed his smile. The signature smile. One he has on ninety percent of the time, at least around me. It was unique. A smile that only suited him and not anyone else. He owned it . Like he should. Yet another reason why I fell for him.
I got off the stool as he went around the counter that had the space in between for staffs to pass through. “Want me to drive?” He asked as we made our way to the door. I shook my head. “You had a long day. Just go home.” I kindly rejected. I bowed my head as he opened the door for me. A gentleman; adding onto the long list.
“You had an even longer one. I don’t care. It’s late too. I can’t let you walk home alone.” I laughed weakly, waiting for him outside as he closed the door. As we make our way to Taeyong’s car, he whispered, “Sleep straight when you get home, okay?” He opened the car door for me. I nodded, “Yes father.” I dragged on.
The car ride home was silent. Completely silent. There wasn’t even music playing in the background. I had my eyes fixed on the view out of the window, too scared to look at Taeyong as I can’t bare to look at him long enough before I melt on sight.
My apartment came to view after the many trees and street lights we drove past. The car pulled to a halt and I turned to Taeyong, who was suddenly up close to me, one hand looming over my chest as he reached for the seatbelt. I possibly stopped breathing. His eyes looked into mine, expressionless. I couldn’t even blink I was that shocked. “Sorry. I thought you were sleeping.”
Taeyong pulled back to his seat. I exhaled sharply. I looked to the seatbelt. He didn’t unbuckle it. I huffed quietly and did it myself, sliding my tote bag onto my shoulder. “Remember. Sleep right away.” He advised a second time as I make my way out of the car, slamming the car door shut.
Before I turned around, he rolled down the window, leaning forward slightly. “And my book!” He shouted. I placed two fingers up my head and pointed it back at it as a way to say, “Yes sir.” Before swirling around and walking away, his car’s engine starting up and driving away. The noise was quick to get muffled and go away as he drove further out of the neighborhood.
The hours of studying I had to do at home went by quick. Before I even knew it, I didn’t sleep that night at all. Unfortunately, I didn’t listen to Taeyong. I had assignments to complete by Monday for God’s sake. I’ve come to terms with the fact that the number of times I’ve pulled all-nighters are now inhumane.
I checked the time on my clock. 5:05AM. I sighed, looking across my study table that’s pilled with worksheets and my opened laptop. I nodded my head as I made the mental decision of finally cleaning up as I rechecked to see if I’ve left any work undone before beginning to stack the papers and shoving them into my tote bag. The only thing left on the table was a stack of decorative papers, with beautiful outlines of red roses around the edges.
I slid one paper off the stack, placing it in front of me. I grabbed a random pen from my organiser, clicking it as I swirled it around, trying to figure out what to write.
Hey taeyong. This is my 127th love letter, confession letter, whatever you would call it. I’m not sure if you’ve read any of them. My last note was in ‘It Ends with Us’. I find that you aren’t giving any reaction or anything. I know you don’t read the books but do you even bother flipping through its pages for the letter to fall out? I’m still hoping you’d at least open this one. Please. I’ve been waiting for ages. For you. I like you, Lee Taeyong, for the 127th time.
I placed my pen back to where it belonged before holding the note in my hand, lifting it up to my face. I bit my bottom lip before opening my book, randomly opening a page and placing the note in, making sure it’s secured before putting that into my tote bag as well. Too lazy to even get into my bed, I fell asleep uncomfortably at the table.
It was now Sunday. I almost forgot the fact that I’m meeting Taeyong today to pass him the book, which to be honest, I didn’t finish. The book was boring. It was like those books that you force yourself through so you wouldn’t feel the regret of buying it. Though I used Taeyong’s money, I still felt bad for leaving it unread. I wasn’t like Taeyong at least.
While thumbing through my closet to find something to wear after showering, my eyes stopped at the sweater that Taeyong borrowed me not too long ago because I was dumb enough to meet him at two in the morning without a jacket. I was frozen stiff due to the cold.
Absentmindedly, I took it off its hanger and brought it close to my chest, dipping my head down as I deeply inhaled, Taeyong’s scent was still on there. I put it on and continued getting ready.
Just when I was done placing my valuables in my sling bag, the doorbell rang. Thinking it was the mailman, I rushed to the door with immense speed. I opened the door forcefully. But instead of the mailman, I was met with Taeyong standing in front of me. We locked eyes for a split second, which made my heart leap. I then eyed him up and down. He was wearing his usual all black outfit. Shirt, jeans, and boots. I liked how the plain and simple outfit was able to cup his body well, accentuate all his body features. It always made me swoon for him.
“What are you doing here?” I noticed how Taeyong kept eyeing his sweater that’s on me despite his attempts at trying to remain eye contact with me. “I thought of just letting you give me the book now and spend the day here. Can I?” No wonder he wore a regular outfit.
“So I dressed up for nothing?” I feigned my exasperation, folding my arms as I cocked an eyebrow, huffing ever so softly. Taeyong followed my poster one on one. “And wearing my sweater is called dressing up? How lovely.” It was now his turn to fire back, which made me frown. “Whatever.” I gave in, turning around to head back to my room.
I heard the door closing as Taeyong’s footsteps were quick to follow closely behind, maybe due to the large steps he took with his long legs. As I entered my room, Taeyong lets out a hum of satisfaction. “Your shelve’s looking good. More full than last time.” He complimented. I took a seat at the study table as he made his way to seat at the edge of my bed. “Mhm.” I softly answered.
With the remembrance of what he came here for, I grabbed my tote bag and fished out for the book. I then toss it onto the bed beside Taeyong, not speaking a word as I jerked my head to it. “Thanks. You read fast.” Taeyong held the book in his hand. Open it, open it. Oh God why can’t he just find the damn note I placed there?
“No I don’t. It’s just that the book was extremely boring for my liking.” I stated, matter-of-factly. Taeyong examined the book, quickly turning it over to read the synopsis. “Ew.” He mumbled.
“It was only good at first. The ending sucked.” I added on to my complains. “By the way...” Taeyong trailed on. I wonder what he wanted to ask. Was it something about the book? About the notes?
“I’ve been thinking I should read one of the books.” I folded my arms with arrogance, slouching into the chair as I tilted my head, the side of my lip lifted up slightly. “So after more than four years I was able to reel you in to read your first book?” I questioned, sounding smug.
Taeyong let out an annoyed ‘tsk’. “I find ‘If I never met you’ interesting, okay? Let me be.” Taeyong pouted and folded his arms, turning his head away from my direction. I stood up, walking to the bed and plopping myself down which made the two of us bounce up and down of a moment. “It’s cute how you’re a newbie to reading.” I made up an excuse when really what I found cute was how Taeyong acted. It made me blush a bright pink. It was probably extremely noticeable when Taeyong suddenly mentioned, “Did I make you so proud that you’re now blushing?” Taeyong teased, a giggle following after.
“Oh shut up.”
Lee Taeyong. This is the 128th letter. I still remember the first one I wrote. Feeling so hopeful and acting like a little girl that’s too shy to confess up front. I’m still like that. Yet to physically hint at you about my feelings. I can only express them like this, through notes that could all end up being meaningless if you’ve never looked at them. I’ll come by your house today. I’ll probably slide it in between books instead of pages. I long for your love, the kind that’s much more than that of a friend. I’ve been holding on for so long. Perhaps too long. But it’s okay, you’re Lee Taeyong. I won’t let the feelings I’ve bottled up for years go to waste. I’ll do something... soon. Yes, soon.
Later that day, I made my way to Taeyong’s house. I asked him to stay at home so that I could surprise him by coming over. But the reaction that I expected from him was way too predictable.
“You could’ve just told me to pick you up!” Taeyong whined. There he goes again being way too caring. Stop it. It’s hurting me.
“It’s not that troubling to travel, Yong. Calm the heck down! It’s really nothing.” I shouted back, reassurance being imbued into each word. He made way for me to enter. And as I did, I walked slowly, long strides to the living room where the large bookshelf was placed. The one that covered the entire wall. Well, almost, since he made space for the television. Other than that, it was just books surrounding it.
“Wait.” I turned around sharply. I realised that my sudden action made Taeyong stop in his tracks instantly. But he was close to me. Way too close for my own good. We stayed there for a moment, exchanging blank stares while I took the time to remember this moment; my heart stopping, his tall figure looming over me, his eyes looking into mine as if he’s trapping me in his gaze. Moments like these happen often. And I’d often take the time to remember them, shoving them into a mental folder called ‘Head over heels for TY’.
“Sit down. I’ll... get the cheesecake.” Taeyong was the first to back out, taking a step away from me and chuckling awkwardly. He quickly turned away after avoiding my eyes and rubbing the back of his neck. He looked nervous. But why? If I have seen it correctly, it looked like his cheeks were ever so slightly red as well. What even...
I shook my head vigorously, throwing those thoughts out of my mind. I sat down on the brown leather couch, leaning back and allowing my body to sink into it. Somehow, the thoughts crept back in. I thought about how what I observed just now could not have been real. It’s Lee Taeyong. Hundreds of girls are always hitting on him at the bar during his shift. He might even be seeing someone. Wait why am I even saying that to myself? I’d end up feeling jealous with no real reason. Great, you’re a dumb one indeed.
I felt Taeyong’s weight beside me. I looked up from the table, realising now that I was in a trance of my own thoughts, and to the cheesecake that he placed down. He leaned forward to cut a slice, placing it on a small plate as he placed the fork down beside it and handed it to me. “Here. Bought it especially for your brain recovery, and cravings. You’re period came, right?”
My eyes widened. My brows furrowed and got closer to each other as I backed my head away in surprise. “How’d you even know?” I asked shockingly. Taeyong lets out a chuckle, bringing his plate up and taking a bite. “I know you long enough to know that your period’s consistent and is usual around this time. But I was just taking my chances. I know you’d still eat the cheesecake either way.” Taeyong flashed a cheeky smile.
I knew he was extremely considerate towards me. He’d always advise me to take breaks, giving me a shoulder to lean on when I need rest, coming over to comfort me till sunrise whenever I texted him a ‘feel depressed lmao.’ He’s always on standby, ready to assist me when I need him, for whatever reason. Even if he wasn’t there, he was somehow able to choreograph his silent dance of support. But I never knew he was this meticulous to take note of my habits, my favourite food and even my period. He knew everything about me at the back of his hand. He really does make me feel some type of way. Perhaps a feeling far beyond love. An unknown feeling that only I could experience since it’s Taeyong. It’s always him. Always have been, and always will be.
I grabbed a big bite, scooping it in my mouth and moaning out dreamily, letting myself sink into the cheesecake and its flavours like a bath. “Fuck this is good. Where’d you get it?” I questioned with immense curiosity. I was genuinely curious. Because I’d love to get more.
Taeyong raised both his brows, his lips forming a thin line as he gave a slightly awkward or nervous cheeky smile. I couldn’t quite tell. “I made it.” He whispered. “No way!” I instantly take another bite, this time with Taeyong in mind. I mean, he already was from the moment he gave me the plate, but with now knowing that he was the one that made it? It suddenly tasted a thousand times better.
“Fucking bake more! Why haven’t I known that you can bake?!” I screamed with excitement. I finished the first slice, now on my way to tackle a second. Taeyong laughed hilariously at my reaction. “Is it that good? It’s my first time trying the recipe.”
“I know you cook like you’ve cooked for me many times but what the heck you should to do this more often. I’d eat it whole.” I squealed as I savoured the cheesecake’s flavours.
“If it’s for you then I’d gladly do it.”
Once again I felt the kindness and love through his voice and tone that’s ever so sweet and gentle. I’d imagine that this was how angels sounded like. Taeyong has always been able to put me at instant peace with just his words alone. Be it through the phone or in person. I always felt calm and protected.
It amazed me just what love could do to you. Everything they do now seemed perfect and beautiful, you blind yourself with their beauty and everything that’s good in them. In Taeyong’s case, I’ve never seen the bad side of him, shockingly enough. I’ve been friends with him for more than five years yet there wasn’t any argument between us that made a major impact on our relationship, if you don’t count those when I wouldn’t talk to him for only one day but we’d be able to act normal after.
We ended up spending the evening watching Netflix. We’ve been through two movies now. The cheesecake was now fully finished as well, down to its crumbs. “Want me to cook dinner?”
“I’m fine with anything.” I blinked my eyes once and a soft smile appeared on my lips. Taeyong hummed softly and nodded his head as he made his way to the kitchen, the sound of his slippers can be heard as he shuffled away.
I laid down on the couch, using my phone. A thought suddenly popped in my mind. I instantly peeked my head above the back rest, seeing Taeyong’s back in view as his body swayed slowly by the stove. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. He ran a hand through his hair. How can a man look this... amazing. I can’t think of any other ways to describe Taeyong at that moment. Boyfriend material? Stunning? Breathtaking? All of the above.
As much as I wanted to stare at his figure, I had another agenda I had to accomplish before getting back to it. I rose from the couch, slowly and quietly, taking the note out of my sling bag. I walked up to the overwhelmingly large bookshelf. I scanned it carefully, trying to figure out where to place it.
“What are you doing?” I turned instantly at Taeyong’s voice. He was a few steps away from me, two plates of pasta in his hands. He turned around to place them on the table.
I took this chance to quickly slide the note into the shelve. One edge of the note was sticking out. Shit. It wasn’t obvious but it’s still there. I didn’t have any time to adjust it when Taeyong faced his body back to me.
“Just looking. The fact that I’ve read all these books... I’m such a bookworm for reading this much.”
“That’s what I like about you.” I was eyeing the pasta when Taeyong blurted that out. It was quick and soft, I couldn’t make out the words. I could only infer. “What?” I asked purposely, just to see if he’ll answer.
“It’s nothing.” Taeyong shoved a spoonful of pasta into his mouth, adverting his gaze on anything else but me.
I thought about how weird he was acting. It’s the first time I’m noticing that Taeyong’s been acting... wary, cautious of his every move around me. Just as I thought about how he’s clueless and delusional about my feelings for him, it could have been the same for me.
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Luckily (Thank the Gods kind of lucky), classes ended early today. And Taeyong told me to meet him at his dance studio. For what reason? I wasn’t actually sure. I headed there, passing by the many other practice rooms till I saw the number that Taeyong told me. I opened the door, seeing Taeyong and two other guys I’m unfamiliar with. All of them turned their heads to me in unison, Taeyong blinding me with a bright smile while the others looked to each other with confusion.
“You came!” Taeyong squealed, running up to me and hugging my tightly. He was extremely sweating. I would try to push him away, but he probably wouldn’t let go and let me suffocate. Thankfully, he didn’t and pulled away, grabbing my wrist and dragging me to the other two guys.
“Ten, Mark. This is my friend, _____. I wanted her to come so that we’ll have an audience to show our piece.” Taeyong explained to them freely as he pointed to Ten and Mark respectively, an arm swung around my shoulders. I bowed my head amicably with a smile while they did the same. “You never told me you have a girlfriend, Taeyong.” Ten teased, lightly punching Taeyong’s chest. I couldn’t help but blush a light pink. I swallowed and looked up to him, who had a nervous and shy face on, which I didn’t expect at all.
“We’re best friends, please.” Taeyong denied, no hesitation whatsoever. In my head I wanted to frown but I had to keep a smile on.
“Hey, Ten. Wanna get Starbucks?” Mark suddenly asked, looking at him with a wicked grin as if he’s hinting to Ten about something. Ten was quick to respond, nodding his head with affirmation. “Yeah. I’m thirsty. You should just stay here with her. Need js to get anything?” Ten trailed on while the two of them began to take their wallets out of their bags that were at the back of the practice room.
“You guys are really going all the way to Starbucks that’s a fifteen minute walk from here?” Taeyong asked, extremely shocked. I did walk past Starbucks on my way here, and it is indeed extremely far. What the heck were they trying to do by leaving so abruptly?
“Eh it’s fine. Well we’ll leave you to it! Peace!” And just like that, Ten and Mark have left and it was now just me and Taeyong. The two of us turned to each other and chuckled at the same time. “Come on show me your dance!”
“It’s a duet that I’m doing with Ten. Can’t dance if he’s not here.” I looked up for a moment, thinking. “Dancer by day. Bartender by night. That’s Lee Taeyong.” I spread my hands out with jiggling my fingers as if showing a rainbow and mimicking stars. Taeyong laughed and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Broke university student by day, author by night. That’s _____.”
I looked at him weirdly, eyes narrowing at him as I furrowed my brows. “How am I an author?”
“Eh I just assume you’re one since you’re such a bookworm.” Taeyong fakely rolled his eyes but flashed a cheeky smile after. I smiled back and got closed to him, both hand resting on my hips as I rested my weight on one leg. “So what are we gonna do mister dancer?” I asked with the tone of a child, making me laugh after from how ridiculous I sounded.
Taeyong proceeded to take my tote bag off my shoulder, putting it off to the side with the other bags while he grabbed his phone and went to Spotify. “Let’s dance.” He suggested with confidence. He played a song. It’s one of my favourites. A song that didn’t make me think twice to bob my head to, which I instantly did. “I haven’t danced in years and you know that.”
Specifically, it was six years ago. I used to dance in highschool as extra curricular thing. But in college I started to dance less frequently, and my dance friends and I slowly grew distant. But I was okay with it. I mean, it’s life. The world still had to spin no matter the situation.
“Come on I know you have it in you. Just vibe.” Taeyong swayed his shoulders up and down slowly, grooving to the beat as his whole body began to work its magic, his dancing was at the level of professional ones. I never know why he didn’t want to pursue dance as a career and became a bartender instead.
I slowly moved my body in a weird way. Not dancing for years, your body is bound to be uncomfortable and you’d be looking weird as you move. Which was definitely me. Taeyong laughed at me, making me frown and stopped dancing. He huffed with a smile and held both my hands. Instantly, my legs and body moved in sync with his. It felt amazing dancing with Taeyong. It was fun and carefree. I could dance as stupidly as I want and even though Taeyong could pull off the best dance moves, he’d still choose to dance stupidly along with me. He was able to serve himself as a guidance as I found my groove and vibe that I didn’t have in me for a long time.
When the music stopped, Taeyong’s hands where on my waist, while I had mine on his arms. We turned to the mirror and giggled, throwing out heads back happily.
“You still got it.”
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“Make sure to find the ones with pretty spines.”
Taeyong and I decided to head to bookstores today for our monthly book shopping. And while I was carefully reading the synopsis of books that had an interesting title, Taeyong was busy examining their cover pages and the aesthetics, mostly the spine.
“Have you started on the book you told me about?” I asked, flipping the book I just took out to its first chapter to get a feel of the writer’s writing style. “I have, actually.” My head shot to him instantly. He’s read the book. But I remembered putting the note in the back pages of the book. Has he reached there yet? “But I’m a slow reader. And busy. I’m only at the third chapter.”
As much as I was surprised about the fact that he’s speed in reading was extremely slower than what I would consider normal, I couldn’t blame him. He’s body with work most of the time and he has a life to live. Not to mention how it’s the first book he’s actually reading. This is a good example that the gap in terms of our reading abilities are definitely big.
“Liking it so far?” I asked. “Yeah.” Taeyong simply replied as he took a book off the display. “I’m getting this. And these as well.” He giggled like a happy child who’s buying a bunch of toys as birthday present from his parents. He lifted the books up slightly, fiddling around and trying to stack them properly while I closed the book that was in my hands. “I’m just buying this.”
“Seriously? Oh wait nevermind you’re a broke university student.” Taeyong taunted, rolling his eyes. My mouth opened slightly, faking my exasperated as I huffed loudly. “Okay mister bartender. You didn’t have to rub-”
“Oh my God. Taeyong?!”
In unison, the two of us turned around to the noise. A girl was running up to us. The moment she came, she didn’t hesitate to hug Taeyong around his torso. Taeyong chuckled, almost awkwardly and hugged her back.
I took a quick look at them. Their hug made a few things clear to me. One, she’s probably known him for a long time. But if she has, why didn’t Taeyong told me about her before? He shares all his secrets, I pretty much know him from A to Z. So why hasn’t he mention her before? Second, Taeyong was quick to reciprocate the hug, from his awkward form to a loving one. They looked like a couple that hasn’t seen each other in ages; a meaningful reunion.
I wasn’t exactly happy with where this was going. I didn’t like how in an instant, she could simply let herself be in such close proximity with him. I’ve never hugged Taeyong for that long at all. It made me feel a couple of things. Jealousy? Judgmental? Sudden hatred towards her? But why should I? It felt so invalid of me to feel these things.
“It’s been years, Taeyong.” She chuckled happily as they pulled apart. Finally. “Who’s she?” Her finger lifted up to me.
“A friend.” Taeyong answered. Of course, Why did I think I’d be any more than that? Just a friend. We’re just friends. Just.
While they were having a chat about who knows what, I wasn’t exactly paying attention since I simply assumed that it was to catch up with each other. I wondered off to another section of the store. After browsing through a few books, it was then I realised that they weren’t no longer in the store anymore when I got back. They left, Taeyong left. Without telling me. It was my fault for leaving the scene discreetly since I felt like my presence wasn’t needed in their bubble at the time, but why did Taeyong not come find me? Was I... simply forgotten?
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I went straight home that day after cashing out the books. I didn’t know where Taeyong went after leaving that that girl, but I didn’t want to act like some busybody who asks something that isn’t her business. I got texts from Taeyong asking if I left yet. Was he planning on returning there after leaving for two hours? He actually expected me to wait. Unbelievable.
After that day, my meetups with him became less frequent. He occasionally replied to my texts. More like one sentence after four or so hours. He still updates his socials. And it was all about her. Photos, videos. They were hanging out together more often. For some reason, it felt like she was a replacement; my replacement. I somewhat distanced myself away from Taeyong thinking, “I assume you don’t need me anymore so I’ll stay out of your way.”
But one day, out of pure curiosity, I decided to follow them to a cafe. Taeyong did text me that he’d be heading there, but I left him on seen. Like I said, I’m slowly removing myself out of his picture.
I sat at the corner of the cafe, black jacket, black cap and large black sunglasses. I looked like a stalker in the eyes of strangers. I mean, I was.
I covered myself further by holding up a book to my face. As I continuously stared at them, I grew bored. Don’t get me wrong, I was feeling negative. I didn’t like how she’s teasingly touching Taeyong’s arm, how they laughed happily together and chatting as if they’re in their own little world. But I started to wonder why I even came here. I did want to see what they’re like. But I’m making myself feel more bad this way.
I decided to write a note. I was done with the book I’m currently holding. All I needed to do was give it to Taeyong. With the note. I took out a random piece of paper from my tote bag, fishing out for a pen as well and began to write.
It’s my 145th letter. Fuck how long am I going to do this? Might sound weird, but I’m currently looking at you. Watching you with her. Why does it feel like you’re happier with her? You’re smiling, laughing more. You’re more brighter. I mean you have always been bright. But you just... radiate differently; a new type of glow I never knew you had. I saw your socials, constantly posting about her. I’m jealous, very. I want to be like that with you. But it just feels wrong, perhaps not right. Like I shouldn’t be craving for you. For your touch, your whispers, giggles. Why do I feel like this? The more you spend time with her, the more I realise that my chances of getting you is slowly slipping away from my grasp. But why can’t I move? Why don’t I want to move? I’m not sure what’s stopping me. And that’s what I’m fearing the most.
I felt my cheeks getting wet. It took me awhile to realise that I was balling my eyes out, slowly and painfully. I took off my sunglasses for a moment to wipe off excess tears before putting them back on. I can’t belive I’m crying. I looked down to the note. A tear fell onto it, a spot crinkled as it left a visible mark of my feelings. Just as I was sniffing, constantly having to wipe my cheeks dry since my tears were getting uncontrollable, I looked out the window. And what stood on the opposite side shocked me.
I knocked on the glass, his head turning quickly. He looked around inside the cafe, not sure of where the signal came from. I knocked once again. He looked down on me and I took off my sunglasses, pulling down my hood.
“Nakamoto Yuta?” I mouthed to him, my lips moving widely so he could read them. His eyes blinked rapidly and he leaned in before widening them after realising who I was. We take a few of the same classes. I see him often in school. But we never really talked. He immediately rushed into the cafe, covering his face as if hiding his identity and running up to my table to take a seat.
“Why were you looking in like some stalker?” I asked, pulling my hood back over my head as I lowered myself, my eyes still fixated on Taeyong.
“You look more like one than I do.” Yuta commented. I notice how he was constantly turning around, specifically to Taeyong’s direction. “You haven’t answered my question.”
“I’m looking at them.” He pointed his finger out ever so slightly. And as I predicted, he was referring to Taeyong and the girl. “You know Taeyong?” I immediately asked, extremely curious as to why he was spying on them just like I was. “No, but I know Jiung.” So that’s her name. Pretty name for a pretty girl. Of course.
“And why are you doing that exactly?” Yuta let out a huff, leaning in with his elbows on the table, his shoulder rising up to his ears. “Because I want to see what they’re on about. I keep seeing her with that Taeyong guy. I like Jiung so I’m jealous.” I puckered my lips and nodded. My face showed as if I shrugged it off. But my mind began turning its gears. So he likes Jiung and he’s jealous of them together? He has the same reason of me coming here as well. What forces swirled around the world for us to come together like this? It’s weird how coincidentally the situation was.
“I actually came for the same reason as you. I like Taeyong, and I’m jealous of Jiung.” I frowned slightly, a sigh leaving my lips. I opened up to him quick about my situation since I felt a sense of similarity with him. He probably wouldn’t remember anyways. It’s not like we’ll be crossing paths in the future.
“Were you crying? Your eyes are hella puffy.” He asked suddenly. I breathed out a laugh awkwardly. I gulped and cleared my throat, thinking that I should shove all my feeling down so I wouldn’t look even more ridiculous in front of Yuta. “Yeah.” I quickly slid the note in between a random page.
“Funny how we met here. For the same reasons. It’s like fate.” I couldn’t agree more. “An idea just came to my mind.” Oh no.
Yuta has always been the class clown, saying out his ideas that were completely mind blowing and far fetched. His way of thinking is... unique, in a funny way. I got somewhat nervous after he said that sentence, you can never guess what he’s thinking about or get a clear grasp of the way he thinks.
“How about we try splitting them up?” I didn’t reply, his words slowly resonating in my mind. He can’t be serious, right? But why am I slowly being persuade by an unknown force?
I have yet to say a word, my eyes still on them as I was deep in thought, wondering about all the possible outcomes of me agreeing and disagreeing, weighing them carefully so that I could make the more beneficial decision.
“Come on. You’ll get to be with Taeyong more. And I’ll have Jiung. Win-win situation, right?”
I sighed, inhaling as my chest puffs up.
“Alright.”
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Yuta: How’s it going?
Me: amazingg :D
“Who are you texting?” Taeyong asked, I placed my phone down to the side, screen faced down. “No one.”
This is the sixteenth outing with Taeyong after that day. I was able to spend time with Taeyong a lot more, just like before. And probably just like it should. I’ve seen Yuta posting more often on his Instagram stories, mostly of him and Jiung. Our plan of keeping them apart is working. Though Yuta told me that it was Jiung who’s constantly asking to meet up with Taeyong, he was able to force her to hang out with him instead, giving her no chance whatsoever. It was extremely helpful.
I know this whole situation sounds as if I’m being evil or whatever you call it. But why wouldn’t I accept a chance to be closer to Taeyong?
“Should we head to the carnival after this? Or desserts first? Oh I want to head to that new ice cream shop! Ten said it’s delicious but extremely crowded. I don’t mind waiting since I’ll have you to annoy.” Taeyong rambled on. I laughed happily, taking in this moment. I want to treasure such simple moments like these. I want it to be in a snow globe; something remembered forever.
“Do anything you please, Yong.” I chuckled, flashing an eye smile.
Just then, the bell above the restaurant’s door opened, signalling a new costumer coming in. Taeyong widened his eyes at the door. I tilted my head at his weird action, turning around to see just what made him react that way.
“Jiung?” “Yuta?” The two of us whispered at the same time.
Jiung’s eyes immediately went to Taeyong, her face lighting up at the sight of him as she tried to make her way over. But Yuta stopped her by the shoulders. I now understood what Yuta meant by saying, “She’s so attracted to him.”
While Jiung was struggling to eacape Yuta’s strong grasp, Taeyong was halfway off his seat. I immediately reached a hand to place on his arm. “Where you going?” I asked, faking a smile when in reality I was getting nervous.
“Wanting to say hi to Jiung.” Taeyong was about to alide himself off his seat so I grabbed his arm, trying to stop him in the most natural way possible. “I don’t think you should. She seems busy.” I tugged on his arm slightly, an attempt to get him to sit back down. “But it looks like she’s struggling. I- Wait here.” Taeyong noticed how I was trying so hard to stop him from leaving. He raised a brow and shook my hand off in an instant, his strength powering over my desires.
I followed behind him. Taeyong forcefully removed Yuta away from Jiung and Yuta’s eyes immediately glanced to mine. Both of us sending nervous signals to each other in that split second. “What the hell were you doing to her?” Taeyong growled lowly, his voice and tone suddenly growing dark as he held Jiing’s wrist, his body standing in front of hers as if he’s protecting her.
“I was just getting her out of the restaurant since it’s quite packed.” Yuta awkwardly replied with an excuse. “No you were purposely stopping me from going to Taeyong.” Jiung fought back. I stood there frozen, watching by the sidelines as nervousness started rising in me. Are they going to find out about my plan with Yuta?
“I think it’s just a misunderstanding. You two can go now.” I ripped Taeyong’s tight hold around Jiung’s wrist, dragging him back to stand beisde me. “I just want to chat with Taey-”
“I don’t think that’s necessary. Move along now.” I tried to shove Yuta and Jiung out the door. Taeyong’s hand suddenly gripped onto mine. I looked up instantly.
“Pause. You’re very acting weird. What’s going on?” Taeyong’s voice was raised higher than before. A few people were staring at us. “Nothing...” I whispered, looking down. I was now scared to the bone. I didn’t know what to reply, how to cover it up. It’s gonna have to slip out eventually. At least I was able to be with Taeyong more often.
“Yuta and I planned for you guys to never meet again.” That’s it. It’s all over. With that simple line of confession, the truth was now out. No where left to hide or run. Yuta smacked me on the arm, making me wince. “What the heck?!” He half-shouted in a whisper.
“Are you serious? And for what? Jealous or something?” Taeyong was mad. So mad. And I felt it. I was so scared. I was shivering with every word he said. I gulped, avoiding eye contact with him. I didn’t need to give a reply. My body has said it all. A moment of silence filled with tension circled around us. Suddenly, Taeyong stormed out.
I panicked, immediately going back to the table we were at to grab my belongings and rushed out, wanting to stop Taeyong. I looked around frantically. I spotted him walking down the street on the left. I ran as fast as I could, my hand reaching out for him as I shouted his name countless of times, but he doesn’t respond as if he was deaf.
“Taeyong, please!” I cried out. I finally had his wrist tightly around my fingers. He turned around sharply. He tried to walk away, but I tried harder to grip onto the hem of his sweater tighter. “What?”
I realised at that very moment that I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to stop him, but I never thought of what to do afterwards. I wanted to say “Don’t leave.” But it never left my lips.
I stood there silently, my thumb caressing against the cloth as I bit my lip hard. “Hello?” Taeyong asked, annoyed. That one simple word hit me, right on the heart. It was like an arrow, painfully accurate at where its being shot. Just as how one word from him could light up my day, and one word from him can make it come crashing down as well. His change in tone and mood was quick and intense. I couldn’t stop thinking about being terrified.
I eventually took in a deep breath, opening my tote bag and taking out the book that I have forgotten to give him that day while I was spying on him.
“Here. Have it, as a present.” I brushed a hand down the back of my head, my fingers combing through the ends as I turned around and walked away in the opposite direction after shoving the book to Taeyong’s chest, remembering the note was somewhere in there but I never bothered knowing exactly where.
My breathing started to become unstable. The further I walked away, the urge of falling down to the ground and collapsing became stronger. But I continued walking, telling myself to stay strong the whole way till I reach home. “You can cry on the floor all you want. Just quickly get home now.” I kept whispering to myself, begging my legs to speed up but my wobbly knees were not helping.
I cried that night. Very hard. The whole scene of kept replaying like a movie tape. All I could think about was how mad Taeyong looked. With his voice and eyes. It was a look I’ve never seen on him before. It was like a completely new side of him. The entire opposite of what he usually was. I now realised that he’s one of those “Their all butterflies and rainbows till they get pissed off.” That phrase cannot be any more true in regards to Taeyong.
Every day I tried to meet Taeyong. At the bar, his home, the bookstore. Anywhere he could be. He wasn’t replying to my texts, or calls. He probably blocked me. And on his socials as well. He wasn’t responding to me at all. I got worried sick. Is he never going to talk to me ever again?
Constantly, I mentally slammed my head against an imaginary wall, thinking about how I never thought of this outcome while weighing out the possible aftermath of the decision I made. How could I be so stupid, so reckless?
I eventually gave up trying to get in contact with him. He needed time and space away from me, completely. The hole this made in my heart was deep, like a dried up well with vines that has sharp long thorns growing in them. And every time I thought about Taeyong, I am constantly being pierced by those thorns of regret and agony, pricking deeper into my skin the more I fell deeper.
It was choking me; Taeyong’s absence. I couldn’t breathe at all. I was sinking, gasping for air each time I longed for him. I just wanted him back. I wanted things to get back to normal. I wanted to be us again.
Two months have passed. It was the worst two months of my life. Worst than the exam stress I had for last year’s final project. I had university to worry about on top of Taeyong. I was mentally going through hell. And again, the worst one yet. And it was now that I realised, I’d be much better off having him as a friend than anything less. But I was selfish enough to not treasure it that way, and it’s now finally gone. Completely out of my reach.
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One night, I was up. Doing assignments. Nothing’s new. Nothing’s changed. Taeyong has yet to open up to me. I glanced at the clock on my phone, groaning as I let my head fall on the table. I closed my eyes. I was too stressed. The world’s spinning too fast. I needed it to stop for awhile. My brain can’t bear this much.
As if on cue, the door bell rang while I lifted my head off the table. My head slowly turned to my room door. The bell rang again. A few seconds later, it rang yet again. Whoever’s outside was frustrated or something, jamming their fingers on the bell while saying “I’ll keep annoying you till you open this damn door.”
I pushed my chair back and walked over to the door. I looked through the peek hole. Taeyong...? I opened the door. On instinct, I grabbed him by his waist while his body fell on me. His face tilted up to meet mine. His cheeks were flushed red. His eyes were half opened and looking around as if stars are swirling above his head. He’s drunk.
“Good night. I wanna go in.” Taeyong whispered. Yup, he’s drunk. His breath reeked or alcohol as he spoke. I stood there for a moment, needing to process the current situation. At three in the morning, Taeyong showed up here drunk. I can think about why later. But now I had to figure out a way to carry his heavy body into the living room.
Taeyong wrapped his arms around my waist, sticking his body against mine. “You’re so warm.” I blinked rapidly. I looked down on him. I can’t believe it. He’s here. After two months of ignoring, he can simply show up here. Drunk, even. Worst of all, I still had the love to move along with this. The anger was still there. It’s just that his sudden presence made me forget about it a little while.
Out of the blue, like a marionette on strings, he jerkily push himself off me and staggered his way to the lviing room. I followed closely behind, not bothering to turn on the lights. I didn’t feel the need to. I sat down at the edge of the couch while he laid his body down. He giggled to himself and muttered things I couldn’t understand. I know what he’s like when drunk. Unstable, crazy, a lightweight. Will not remember a single thing the next morning.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, not even sure why. Why did I bother asking when he won’t remember any of this the next day? Well, he’s here now. And no matter what state he was in, I just wanted answers.
“To thank you. Me thank you. Mwah!” Taeyong puckered his lips in the end, eyes closed and shaking his head furiously. His fluffy hair moving along. I smacked my bottom lip and nodded. “For what exactly?”
“For getting rid of Jiung for me. She’s so annoying. I’d much rather be with you.” Taeyong mumbled, finger slowly pointing up to me. Unconsciously, I pointed back to myself too. “Me?” Taeyong pursed his lips into a thin line and nodded firmly. “Uhuh. Yes, right. Mhm.”
I kept silent for a moment. “That wasn’t really what I got from how you reacted two months ago.” Suddenly, Taeyong forcefully gripped onto my wrist, pulling me down. I let out a soft gasp, realising that my body was laying on top of his. We stared at each other for a long while, the close proximity making it so that I could feel his cold breath on my skin, sending shivers down my spine. I breathed heavily as I felt my face getting hot. Stop it. Why are you falling for him too quickly?
“Go home, Taeyong.” I whispered so softly in a calming and light tone. Taeyong whined in response. He was now pouting with his big boba eyes. He looked like a sad puppy. My heart instantly melted at the sight. I couldn’t resist. “I’m staying here.” He said in a high pitch voice, hugging me closer and putting me in an uncomfortable position for my body. Regardless, I stayed.
After two months he was finally here, and in my arms. This night might not mean anything to him but it made me feel relived. The fact that he remembered my house, my name, me. Whether it was just the alcohol driving him to do such things that are out of his control, I didn’t mind. All I needed was for him to be here. It felt good to be with him for that one night. Just one night was all I needed. It didn’t stop my anger for him about the fact that he ignored me, but I was okay with it. That night, I let it go. All I wanted was to feel such peace with Taeyong.
We ended up sleeping together on the small couch. I woke up with terrible body aches but either way, I sighed in relief when I woke up before Taeyong. I tried finding his phone, that was hidden under the crack of the cushions. I typed in his password. I memorise it like how he memorise mine. I went to his contacts and called the one person I knew.
“I have a favour to ask, Ten.” I said nervously as I watch him carry Taeyong into his car. He hummed, pulling his head out of the car and slamming the door. “Don’t tell him he went here.” Ten gave a half-shrug, nodding his head in response. “Sure. I’m not sure what’s going on between you two, but it seems like a lot. Should solve it soon.”
“Yeah... I hope so.”
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16th October.
I’ve lost count on the number of love letters I’ve given you. I can’t give them to you anymore, since you don’t even want anything to do with me. I can’t blame you. I knew you’d be pissed. I was hesitant on doing it but I was so selfish, wanting you all to myself. But what can I do, Taeyong? I’ve wanted you for so long. Yet you’re so delusional of my feelings. How could you have not read any of of my letters? Perhaps you have and chose to ignore it. That’s more painful than you being upfront and rejecting me. As much as I allow you to hate on me, I’d still say this. Fuck you, Lee Taeyong.
23rd October.
I saw you at the bar. You look... happy. Without me. You act as if nothing happened. Like I never happened. I wonder if you’re just putting on an act, or are you actually okay without me by your side. Are you still mad? Did you forget about it but have gotten use to not being with me? I want to know Taeyong so please, respond. That’s all I ask from you. Fuck that. You don’t even have to talk. I just want you here with me. Whether the air around us will be filled with tension, I don’t care. What I’m going through, is not nice, Taeyong. It is punishment for my actions. But how long do I have to keep it up? How long to I have to suffer to take a breath? For you to pull me out of this mess with your forgiveness. I’m falling apart.
14th December.
Wow. It’s December already. I’m sitting at the park we go to every Christmas. We’d be freezing to death but still glued to the bench chatting about life since we just loved being out in the snow. And yet, you never got back to me. I found out from Jiung that you left the country but never said where. I miss you, Lee Taeyong. I’m tired. So tired, of constantly penning my feelings down on pieces of paper. Words I can never say to you out loud, are all in the letters in your books that you never bothered to open. I even hid one between the books of your huge ass shelf. Why haven’t you said anything about them? I know I should move on, because it really does seem like you never want to talk to me ever again. I’m losing hope, more faster than before as each day pass, wondering where the hell as you and how you’re doing. I keep telling myself “Let it be. Let him have his moment.” But I wonder if you ever think about how I’m bearing all of this as well. That without you, I might never be able to forgive myself.
I slide the notes under Taeyong’s apartment door. I knew he was out of the country. Some nights I’d sit by his door, the note in hand as I envision him in his house. I couldn’t think about what he’s doing. And I constantly ponder about it. Is he eating well? Sleeping well? Is he enjoying himself wherever he’s at? Months passed. And as time went on, I began to wonder if my letters were even worth writing. Why was I giving so much? Why am I going through such lengths, physically and emotionally, for Taeyong to be okay? Why am I bearing such emotions when it’s not even certain that I’ll be given the same in return.
I’m making a promise to myself. I’ll let go of Lee Taeyong. I’ll slowly, bit by bit, remove my feelings out of my heart. It’s not worth it, I kept telling myself. I’m meaninglessly suffering for someone who is isn’t appreciating it. So why should I go on? I loved you, Lee Taeyong. I changed my words. I loved you.
And that was the last love letter I wrote.
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Along my journey to forgetting Taeyong, I suffered a lot. I was always drawn back to him. I was always willing to put my pen on paper and just write something to him. About anything. It was a bad habit that needed to stop. I had to let go years of feelings that were being pilled up in my heart. And it was something that’s extremely hard to let go. But other than my own factors, there were external, circumstantial ones as well. Whether it was coincidental or not, that was something I can never know the answer to.
I was on my laptop, casually scrolling through Pinterest to calm myself with the aesthetics of random things. Room decor, clothing ideas, handsome idols. Anything that can take my mind off my billions of overloaded projects for awhile.
I didn’t know how, but I ended up looking at quotes, Japanese ones to be exact. The deep meaning of words. Some were heartfelt while other were heartbreaking. I read them off casually till I paused at one.
‘Tsundoku— buying books and not reading them; letting books pile up unread on shelves, floors, or nightstands.’
I scoffed to myself, pinching my temples as I shook my head. It’s just like you, Lee Taeyong. “Fucking hell.” I mumbled, slamming the laptop shut. I’ve been able to not think about Taeyong for a long time now. Or at least I felt like it was a long time. I wasn’t going to let a word get me off course. I placed my laptop on the bed and went back to my study table, suddenly feeling motivated to continue as a way to distract myself from thinking about him.
Thinking that I wouldn’t be facing that state of dilemma again, I just so happen to see a quote the first thing I entered Pinterest.
‘If they were meant to reunite, they had to go separate ways.’
I was then reminded of Taeyong yet again. But I don’t think I was thinking about him as a person, but our relationship. Just our relationship. Having to part ways as a mean to reunite. That’s something I found hard to believe. Why am I having hope that it’ll happen when I highly doubt I’ll experience it? Why is my mind slowly pulling me back to the memories I have with Taeyong? I want him long gone. I want him holed up in the corner of my mind, out of sight, out of mind. But things are always popping up randomly around me, and it all reminded me of him. I feel like it’s his doing, funny enough. Constantly hinting about him with almost everything I come across.
“What the fuck?”
I looked at the Youtube home screen and what was recommended for me. One of the videos had Taeyong’s name. And his face was on the thumbnail. The title? Lee Taeyong | Freestyle dance | Paris In The Rain (Lauv) My finger moved on its own, bringing the cursor to the video and clicking on it.
As I expected, the video was taken in Paris. So that’s where he has been. He was in Paris this whole time without my notice. I was shocked to find that the video has tons of likes and view. I read through the comments. They were all swooning over Taeyong.
“Who wouldn’t?” I said to myself. I scrolled up and played the video. My eyes didn’t leave the screen for a second. I was frozen, not being able to move an inch as I watched, completely in awe. Firstly, Taeyong has his hair dyeda light ashy grey or blue. It suited him well, all too well. His dancing was immensely beautiful. Anyone would fall for him. Visuals, talent. He has it all. Dancer by day, bartender by night. He looked so free and alive in his dance. Serving the world with a hard punch with his deep emotions that were imbued perfectly into his movements.
I bit my lower lip. Fuck. I felt it. The goosebumps, the quivering of my lips. My eyes started to well up with tears. “No, this is not happening again.” The video was still playing, the music ringing in my ears but I couldn’t bear to look at the video. I was watching Taeyong, living the perfect life in Paris. What more could he needed? I clearly wasn’t in his equation. I’m completely gone, removed out of his life. No trace of my presence to be found.
The longer I think, the more I forced myself not to cry. Eventually, being weakling I am, I ended up falling deep into the harsh and intense whirl pool that is my feelings once again, a place I never visited in a long while. The feelings started dancing in my mind like butterflies flapping in unison to the soundtrack of my sadness. I could only assume that it’s what the world wants. It’s how it wants to spin, how it wants to work.
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Eight months. I actually counted how long I’ve lost contact with Taeyong for. It didn’t bother me. I was trying to live a life. It’s getting better. It took a lot of baby steps. But I’m feeling a whole lot lighter now. It’s March.
I was walking back from University when my phone started vibrating in my hand since I’ve always left it on silent mode. I lifted it up. It was an unknown number. Instinctively, I chose to not pick up the call. But a few seconds later, the same number showed up on the screen. With a light groan, I picked up and brought the phone to my ear.
“Hello? Who is this?” I asked formally, waiting by the traffic light. I heard the person on the other hand breathe out a chuckle, almost like a disappointed kind. “Who the-”
“So you deleted my number?” That voice... No doubt. It was Lee fucking Taeyong. “Meet me. My home. You got ten minutes.” The call ended.
Rapidly blinking my eyes, I slowly brought down the phone. I read over the number again. It was Taeyong’s phone. Why didn’t I remember it? I used to know it. It’s one of the few things I used to be able to tell off the top of my head. “Ten minutes?” I looked at the time.
I don’t know what urged me, but I ran. I ran as fast as I could. The unknown force. It was unfamiliarly familiar. If that made sense. I was able to live a life without Taeyong. I was. I was capable of it. And that’s what I did. But at the very moment, I felt the need to see him. The spontaneous out of the blue kind of feel. It was all just pouring out of me.
I stood at his doorstep, hand on my chest and other as support for my body against the wall. Panting heavily, I tried to slowly calm myself down. I gulped, and rang the doorbell. No turning back.
The door flung open. And there stood Taeyong. He still had his ashy hair colour. His face never changed a single bit. Nor did his overall physique. He was still handsome, breathtaking. “Come in.”
I sucked my lips and sidled in timidly and warily. Nothing has changed in his house as well. The large bookshelf with the television in the centre. I started to remember the love letters. All of them are hidden in the pages of the books in that very shelf. It reminded me of my feelings for him.
I sat down on the leather couch as Taeyong disappeared into the kitchen. I kept my head faced forward, placing my tote bag down, leaning it against the couch on the floor. Taeyong came back moments later. Two plates with a slice of cheesecake. He handed on to me. “Try it.” He said.
I slowly took a bite. Chewing on it, I scrunched up my nose, placing the plate down on the table. “I hate it. Tastes too artificial.” I commented dryly. Taeyong chuckled and cleared his throat. “Knew you’d say that.” Taeyong shoved a bite into his mouth, eating it as he placed the plate beside mine. “Want to know why you’re here?”
I bobbed my shoulders. This atmosphere, the air between us. It wasn’t awkward at all. Though our words were dry and short, it felt normal. It wasn’t weird being next to him after not seeing him for eight months.
Taeyong stood up, taking small steps to the shelf. As if practiced, he pulled out one letter from a book, another, and another, and another. It was never ending. It took him at least ten minutes to slide out all the letters and placing them on the table. I silently watch, my anxiety turning up a notch with each letter.
He finally took what I hoped was the last letter and went back to sit next to me. A specific letter is held in his hand. He unfolded it, placing the paper on the table and turning it so that I could read.
It was my last love letter.
“So you knew.” I whispered, looking down, leaning forward as I laced my fingers together. I took in a deep breath, my eyes scanning down the note before turning my head to Taeyong. “Then why the fuck didn’t you do anything about it?”
Taeyong lifted the paper off the table, holding it in front of him. He reread it. Running a hand through hair, chest puffing up as he inhaled and exhaled sharply. “Because I wanted you to keep writing to me.”
“What...?” That was definitely not an answer I was expecting.
Taeyong licked his lips, smacking them before sniffling a rubbing his nose. He lets out a weak chuckle. “I liked them. From your handwriting, to your words. I felt it; your love, with each letter.” He whispered softly.
I simply couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This was the explanation and truth I’ve been wanting to hear for months. This is what kept me up at night, what led me to have my mental breakdowns, the constant ‘what if’s I formulated throughout. “You just like them? Taeyong if you’re rejecting fucking do it now-” I was about to scream, but Taeyong was quick to cut me off.
“In a way it felt like you were writing a book. One just for me. That’s why I never bothered to read any other books. I just needed yours. Your... simply overpowering pain in the heart love letters.” Taeyong smiled down at the letter, hovering his fingers over the words.
“And I don’t just like the love letters. I love the author. Paris made me realise that. It took me that long. And I’m sorry for how long you needed to wait.”
“What do you love about the author?”
I could tell Taeyong was taken aback by that question. And I knew he would react that way. He still knew me well, bouncing back and giving a confident answer.
“I don’t want to sound common by saying it’s her smile, laughter, brightness. But it truly is what I love about her. All the times we’ve spent were filled with nothing but pure bliss. Serenity, is what I feel when I’m with her. Longing, like I was meant to be by her side. I’ve known her long enough to know every single detail about her, ones that maybe she doesn’t even know herself. Like how drinks two straws when she’s sad, or having the habit of twiddling her thumbs when she’s excited. Little things like those, I find them adorable. No matter what she is, a nerd, weirdo, plain crackhead, it’s... the energy, her own energy. A light and force only she could illuminate.”
I couldn’t say anything. I frozen stiff by his words. He actually meant it. I could feel it through his voice. He stuttered here and there nervously, finding words to say. But he was able to structure them in the most beautiful way possible. I had no words to say.
Suddenly, Taeyong slowly brought his hand up to cup my cheek. That one touch alone made me feel a lot of things. It was like I was hit by a huge wave of feelings all bunched up together and crashing over me. But it wasn’t something I couldn’t handle. It was overwhelming, but I was calm. I was at peace. It felt good. Just this.
He slowly and carefully swiped his thumbs across my cheeks like I’m the most fragile thing in the world. His touch was lightweight and simply serene. “Another thing the author doesn’t know about herself is that she really doesn’t know when she’s crying and spilling out tears.”
I blinked my eyes, Taeyong smoothing his hands from my cheeks and to my shoulders, placing them there firmly as his eyes stared into mine. I can’t exactly explain what I felt. But it was like the stars aligned, as cliche as that sounds.
‘If they were meant to reunite, they had to go separate way.’ I resonated with this now. I understood what it meant. Our months of separation were all for this exact moment. Both of us suffered, one trying to find themselves again while the other needing the time to realise that what’s most valuable was right in front of him. We needed that gap, for us to reunite and actually be able to love each other properly and willingly. Which definitely would not be a trouble now.
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anagentinwriting · 4 years
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Lifeline - Part 5
Summary: (First Responders!AU) Moving to Los Angeles and living with your brother, Thor, was never part of your plan nor was being a 9-1-1 dispatcher, but plans change when you are faced with your own emergencies. In your case, it was leaving behind a relationship that wasn’t as perfect as it seemed. Will this be the fresh start you were hoping for or will your past find a way to catch up with you?
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Odinson!Sister Reader
Word Count: 4500+
Warnings: Language, drinking, angst, fluff
Lifeline Masterlist / Main Masterlist
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After a week of taking call after call, it was nice to get together with the girls. It wasn’t going to be a late-night, but after last weeks rough call, you just wanted to get out of your head and blow off some steam with Nat and Carol at Happy’s Hydrant. 
The Hydrant was the place to be tonight. You couldn't remember it ever being this busy, but it was a Friday night. There were always women hoping to get with a man in uniform and men hoping to get lucky with a badass woman first responder. For some, it worked like a charm, but for others, while they had to work a little harder to get some action. 
You leaned against your pool cue, watching Nat lineup her stick to the corner pocket with Carol observing from the side, sipping on her beer. Nat took the shot but missed the pocket, forcing a smirk across your lips. Nat stood up straight, rolling her eyes at you.
“Can’t win them all,” you teased, eyeing the table to find your next shot. 
Billards was your bar game. When you were attending New York University, you worked at a bar and hustled to make a few extra bucks. Guys would often undermine you at first, but you weren’t afraid to show them what you could do.  
“Hey, sweet thing, you like playing pool,” a guy said behind you as you leaned over to take a shot. 
“It seems that way, doesn’t it,” you replied, rolling your eyes. He placed a hand on your lower back, making you tense up and let out a sharp breath. You stood up straight and turned around to face him. He was standing closer to you than you expected, and you could smell the overconsumption of alcohol on his breath.
“I’ll bring the balls if you bring your rack.” He bit his lip, his eyes drifting to your chest.
“You sure you have the balls to handle me because that line was fucking terrible.”
“Do you want to find out?”
“No.”
“Come on, girl.” He stepped even closer to you, making the back of your thighs hit the pool table. He placed his hands on your hips, and you froze in place. Your heart pounded, feeling every nerve in your body firing, telling you to run, but your mind filled with fear. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to get away from those thoughts, but deep down, you knew one wrong move or smartass remark would make things worse.
“Can you...Can you please get your hands off of me,” you gulped, letting out a shaky breath.
“What’s that sweetheart?”
“Get your hands off of her asshole. She’s not interested,” Nat's voice hit your ears, and you felt the weight in front of you disappear.
“Yeah, take a walk prick,” Carol shouted beside you. You opened your eyes to see the asshole retreating away, letting out a relieved breath. “How you holding up, girl?”
You shrugged. “I’ll be fine. Sorry, I kind of froze up there.”
“Don’t apologize, dude was an asshole. You’re still trying to find yourself and get your confidence back,” Carol replied, patting you on the shoulder. “You’ll find it, and when you do, we’ll be right there with you.” You nodded, crossing your arms across your chest. “If you’re interested, Val teaches a self-defense class, well it’s more of a boxing class at Jabari Tribe Training Center. We could even go with you,” Carol offered, earning a nod from Nat. 
“I’ll think about it.” You shrugged, staring at the floor.
“You know what, girls, this calls for shots,” Nat commented. “I’ll be back.” She disappeared to the bar, being greeted by a few guys offering to buy her the shots.
“Hey, YN.” You peeked up at Carol before your eyes drifted back to the floor. “Promise me you won’t let that asshole ruin your night.”
“I promise.”
“Good. And not all guys are like him; some are just drunk assholes who think just because they wear a uniform, every woman wants to sleep with them when really they aren’t interested,” She sighed, staring at you. “How about we start another game then?”
“Um...yeah, let’s do it.”
______
“YN, why can’t you let me win for once?” Carol whined, leaning against her pool cue.
“Practice more, and then maybe you'll have a chance,” you smirked, feeling better after a couple of shots and another beer later.
You lined up to sink the number 8 ball in the corner pocket when someone out of the corner of your eye caught your attention. You gulped, turning your head in their direction to find Fireman Rogers. “You’re sort of ruining my concentration with your staring.”
“Didn’t know I had that effect on you.”
You scoffed, taking the shot and missing the pocket. “That’s on you.” You didn’t miss the slight nod from him and the ever-growing grin appearing on Carol’s face, watching the two of you interact.
“Ouch!” He held a hand over his heart, smirking at you.
You watched Carol sink one of her three remaining stripes into the pocket but failed to get the other two in. You nodded to yourself, setting yourself up to get the number 8 ball in the same corner pocket. Shooting a quick glare towards Steve, he held up his hands, trying to hide his smile by taking a sip of his beer. You hit the white ball, sending it right towards the number 8 ball, sinking it into the corner pocket.
“Well...that’s game. Rogers, you’re up. Time for you to take on the champ.” Carol walked over to him, forcing the pool cue to his chest until he grabbed it, and she shot you a quick wink over her shoulder before disappearing into the crowd.
“Smooth,” you whispered under your breath.
“What was that?” Steve questioned, leaning a little closer to you.
“Bring it, Rogers.”
_______
With one last hit, the number 8 ball sunk into the center pocket. “And with that, the champ remains the champ. Good game though, you weren’t...bad.”
“Not bad, huh? Maybe you caught me on an off day.”
“Will save the rematch for another day then.” You put the pool cue back on the wall and went to your usual table, taking a seat on one of the high stools. You take a sip of your beer, noticing Steve taking the chair across from you.
“How did you get so good at pool?”
“I worked at a bar in college and got really good at it. Even hustled a few people to get some extra cash.”
“Did they deserve it?” He asked with a chuckle. 
“Of course,” you smirked, taking a sip of your drink. Your eyes traveled around the bar, spotting your brother with a group of ladies. It still baffled you how he could finagle himself into any group, whether it was to make friends or take someone home. In this incident, it looked to be taking someone home. Thor wrapped his arm around one of the ladies and headed out the door.  “Well, I’m in no rush to get home now.”
“Why is that?”
“My brother just walked out the door with his latest conquest.” His eyes traveled to the door. “Now in the morning, I will have to make small talk with her, and poor Darryl is gonna have to hear them…” you shake your head, not finishing the sentence. “Good thing I got him noise-canceling headphones.”
“Good thing.”
“How are you liking the 107 so far?”
“It’s...” Steve started only to be interrupted by Sam.
“Okay, so Thor just left with the woman I was hitting on all night. Can’t your brother give another brother a chance,” Sam added, taking a swig of his beer. 
“That’s my brother for…”
“Steve, I heard you just got your ass handed to you in pool. Way to go, girl.” Bucky held up his hand, and you high-fived him. “Steve’s good. He always kicks my ass.”
“Well, that’s because you suck at it,” Sam added.
“Well, at least I can get a woman to go home with me.”
“That’s cold.”
“You can’t get every woman to go with you,” Nat added, taking the stool next to yours.
“Wanna bet.” Bucky licked his lips, earning a scoff from Nat. “Listen here, everyone. I am about to share Mr. Barnes Fling Tips 401. That’s right, this is senior college level, no freshman 101.” He takes a drink of his beer. “First: Get the lovely woman’s attention; catch her eye at the bar, smile at her, send her a drink, whatever you need to do to get her to notice you. Number two: once she notices you, disappear for a little while to see if she looks for you. Then, when she least expects it, go over to her and introduce yourself. Then, this is where the real flirting happens; smirk at her, put a hand on her thigh, bite your lip, any of the telltale signs you’re interested. Then finally, she will take your hand, and that’s when you take her home. We both have meaningless sex and then move on. We both get exactly what we wanted.”
“You’re terrible.” Nat rolled her eyes, crossing her arms across her chest.
“Says the female version of me,” he smirked.
“You wish, because then maybe, just maybe, I would give you the time of day and sleep with you. But, you’re not worth it. I don’t think I could ever sink low enough to sleep with you.”
“Ouch, doll, ouch.” He held his hand over his heart, feigning hurt in his eyes.
“I would feel bad, but we both know you don’t have a heart when it comes to women.”
“One right after another. You’re on fire, Red.”
“I don’t have time for this. Come on, YN, let's go get another drink.” Nat grabbed your hand and pulled you to the bar with her.  
“Is it just me, or was that a whole lotta sexual tension right there?” Sam asked Steve as soon as Bucky stormed off.
“I would say so,” Steve nodded in agreement.
________
You classified yourself as a people watcher, and you always found it interesting to watch people interact with one another. You'd often see the people looking to hookup. A bachelorette party with an overly flirty bride to be who may or may not make a mistake tonight. Those people who came out to drink for fun; those that drink because they have a problem; the new parents that needed to get out of the house, or the couple still getting to know one another. You never met any of these people in your life, but you couldn’t help but create their life story. 
It was like the couple sitting close together in the booth to your right. They were falling for each, whether they planned it or not. It was easy to tell with the way they looked at each other. You felt that way once, too. The feeling that you and him were the only two in a crowded room. You thought it was love, but looking back, maybe it was something different. Something toxic, like a poisonous gas entering the air without you knowing, and sooner or later, you're gasping, trying to find the last bit of oxygen. But, it’s no use because you’re trapped, and every breath you take only makes you weaker and unable to move, and eventually, it ends up taking everything from you. 
“Hi, again.” Steve takes a seat on the stool next to you at the bar, pulling you out of your head. “Everyone keeps leaving me, and I didn’t want to look like that loser in the bar sitting by himself.”
“So you came over to join me? Who was sitting by herself looking like a loser?”
“Yeah, but now we can be losers together,” he chuckled, making you smirk. 
“Speak for yourself,” you chuckled, picking at the label on the beer bottle.“You and Bucky became fast friends.”
“Yeah, well, we have known each other since we were kids.”
“Wait, you grew up here?” You turned your heads towards him, narrowing your eyes at him.
“No in Brooklyn. Brooklyn, New York.”
“Get out--” you hit him on the arm “--I used to live in Brooklyn.” 
“Really? Small world,” he smiled, leaning in a little closer to you to hear you better over the music playing on the jukebox. “What made you move out here?” 
“Story for another time,” you pointed the tip of your beer bottle at him. 
He nodded, “So why a 9-1-1 dispatcher?”
“You’re full of questions, aren’t you, Steve?” 
He shrugged with a small chuckle. “A few.”
“Did you get dragged out tonight, too?” You asked, taking a sip of your beer.
“What makes you think that?”
“Think it was so our friends could get a little action.” Your eyes traveled around the bar to see Bucky leaving with a redhead, and Nat had her hand on a guy's bicep with a flirty expression on her face. You had no idea where Carol went, and Sam must’ve left after realizing his luck ran out. Poor guy.
“So it would seem,” he smirked, glancing around the room. 
You felt your phone vibrate, and you glanced down, seeing a message from Nat. 
Nat: Heading out! Hope you can find a way home ;)
YN: Yeah, it’s called an Uber
Nat: (rolling eyes emoji)
“And with that, my ride just left.” You locked your phone, sliding it back into your pocket.
“Yeah, my ride left about five minutes ago.” Steve sighed, staring at his beer bottle. “What do you say about getting out of here?” 
You glanced at him underneath your eyelashes. “I hope you know you're not getting in my pants.” 
“Oh, I know, I didn’t mean it like that, but maybe another time,” he winked, forcing you to crack a smile. 
“Smooth, Rogers. Smooth,” you commented. “And here I thought you were a goody-to-shoes.”
“Most people do, but I am far from it.”
“I am seeing that now,” you chuckled, swallowing the little bit left in your drink. He nodded, glancing around the bar. “Are you ready?”
“For what?” 
“To get out of here?”
“I didn’t mean…” His head snapped to you with raised eyebrows.
“I know, another time,” you teased, seeing the corner of his mouth turn up. “Are you coming because your half-full beer says otherwise?”
He looked at it, then back over at you. Something in his blue eyes shifted from playful to curious in a matter of seconds. “Let's blow this popsicle stand,” Steve smirked, downing the rest of his drink. 
“Easy there, don’t want to have to carry you out of here,” you commented as he reached behind him and slipped on his jacket. 
“Haha.”
You felt the chill in the air as soon as you walked out the front door of the bar. It felt like fall was just around the corner, and it only brought goosebumps to your skin.  
“How far is home?” Steve asked.
“About thirty blocks north, but you don’t have to walk with me. I just figured you didn’t want to look like a loser sitting at the bar by yourself.”
“Thanks, I appreciate your concern, but I don’t mind. I have nothing waiting for me at home, and this way, you have some company.”
“Or do you just not want me to get mugged or something?”
“Maybe that too,” he chuckled, slipping his hands into his jacket pockets. “So you live with your brother? Why don’t you have your own place?” 
“I’ve been looking, and I did find one I love. The only problem is I don’t know what to say to Thor.”
“I’m sure he’ll understand.” He added. “It will probably be hard for him at first, but it’s always hard to start over,” Steve mumbled like he knew from his own experience. 
“Yeah, but you haven’t experienced softie Thor.”
“Softie Thor?”
“Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but he still sleeps with his baby blanket. He calls it Mjolnir, and it has all kinds of different hammers and tools on it. He says he doesn’t have it anymore, but the last time I saw it, it was hiding under his pillow.”
“Really?” he smiled, shaking his head. “The big guy. Yay, tall--” he gestured with his hand “--blonde hair, god-like deep voice girls fall for, and he still sleeps with a blankety?” You nodded. “Yeah, I can say I have never seen that side of him.” He chuckled, shaking his head.
You rubbed your upper arms, hoping to keep the chill at bay but having little to no success. You always seemed to forget to grab a jacket before going out. “Why did you transfer to LA from Brooklyn?”
“Now, look who is full of questions?”
“Call me curious.” You shrugged, catching his eye before his return back to the ground.
“Fine, but then you have to answer one of my questions.” You nodded. “Okay, well, I transferred because I needed a new start after some bad stuff went down.”
“Why, what happened?”
“Trying to pull a fast one on me. I like it, but my turn.” You let out an annoyed sigh. “What did you do when you lived in Brooklyn?”
“Fair question." You nodded. "I was an ER nurse. It was both stressful and satisfying at the same time. On the one hand, I didn’t know what was going to come through the doors, but on the other hand, bringing someone back on the brink of dying gave me a rush. I can’t even explain the feeling; I loved my job.”
“Then, why leave?”
“I needed a fresh start.” You glanced over at him, and he nodded, biting his lip. “Looks like we left for the same reason.” 
“Maybe this is fate's way of telling us we both deserve a second chance.” 
“If you believe in that sort of thing,” You shivered, running your hands over your arms to get them to warm up. 
“Here.” Steve started pulling off his worn-out brown leather jacket and offering it to you.
“No, you keep it. I don’t want you to get cold.”
“Don’t worry about me? I’m like a body heater.”
“Fine, but if you get cold, you better tell me.” You slipped it on, feeling the warmth envelop you. His scent on his jacket made your insides twist. You pulled it tight around you, feeling your body warm up in an instant. 
“I will,” he smiled, putting his hands in his pants pockets, shrugging.
You walked in silence for a block or so when you stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the walking figure to appear. “What was it like growing up in Brooklyn with Bucky?”
He chuckled. “Well, it’s a funny story actually because it all started in grade school.” He glanced at you as if asking if he wanted to hear it. “I was drawing on the playground one day at recess. And at the time, I was a sickly little kid, and my mom told me I couldn’t play sports because I had a lot of health problems when I was younger before I became this.” He gestured to himself, making you roll your eyes. “Anyways, I was drawing, and these bullies came over and stood in my light and poured water over my notebook…”
“Those assholes.”
“Yeah, right,” he chuckled, scratching the back of his head. The crosswalk person appeared, and they started walking again. “I was never one to back down from a fight, so I stood up to him. He pushed me, and I fell, but I got back up and tried to push him, but ended up getting pushed down again, this time landing in a mud puddle. Then, Bucky came over, and straight-up punched this dude in the face. I think we were six at the time.”
“Oh my god, are you kidding?” Your mouth dropped over, and you covered it with your hand.
“Wish I was. Bucky told him to pick on someone his own size and sent him crying. After that, we became pretty good friends.”
“Do you still have the never run from a fight mentality?” You eyed him over and noticed him keeping a close eye on you.
“Yeah, I just don’t like bullies.” He shrugged as comfortable silence fell between the two of you once again. “You said you needed a fresh start. What were you running from?” You stared hard at the ground, biting your lip, not sure if you wanted to lay it all out for him. “Question for another time. How about a counter-question,” he hummed, thinking it over as you watched him mull over what to ask next. “How was it growing up with Thor?”
“Thor and I were never close growing up, which is crazy considering I live with him now. He was my older brother, he had his friends he always hung out with, and I was the younger sister. What older sibling wants to hang out with their younger sibling unless their parents ask them to? We got along, but I grew up being close with our adopted brother Loki. When Thor graduated from high school, he tried college but found it wasn’t for him, and then one day decided to move to LA and become a firefighter. After he moved, I didn’t talk to him much. Loki and I stayed in Brooklyn, I got my nursing degree, and he went into Broadway production. We were a scattered out set of siblings, living on two different coasts.”
“If you and Thor were never close, why move here and live with him?”
“I knew he would help me find myself again.” 
“What do you mean by that?”
“Thor was the brother that wasn’t afraid to make a fool of himself to get me to laugh or feel better. He could get things off my mind when I needed to, plus he’s easy to talk to. Loki’s more of the conservative brother that has a plan and can be a diva at times. I love them both, but I knew starting here would be the fresh start I needed.” You shrugged in his jacket. “I think you owe me at least three extra questions.” 
“Depends what you qualify as a question.”
“Oh, is that how it’s gonna be, wise guy.” You pushed him on the arm. “My turn to ask, let’s see, hmmm.” You tapped your chin with your finger. “How did you and my brother bond so fast?”
“I don’t know. It’s what you have to do in this job, trust your team. Besides, like you said, your brother is easy to get along with after you get past his ego.”
“He does have a big ego,” you nodded with a chuckle.
“What’s the hardest part about being a 911 dispatcher?”
“Really? Already asking a question. I think you still owe me a couple, but I’ll oblige.” You took in a deep breath and let it out, thinking it over. “When the caller hangs up, and you never know what the outcome is. Like, am I making a difference, am I helping? Being a nurse, I knew the outcome because I was there for everything, but here, all you can do is send help. I could look at the records and see what happened, but what if it’s not the outcome I hoped for.” You stared at the ground in front of you. “It’s almost like never finding out an ending to a movie or a book. I want to know what happened, but maybe it’s better left not knowing. After they hang up, sometimes you don’t get time to process it because there is another caller with another emergency.” 
“I get it. Sometimes what we do can be a horror movie. It can give us nightmares if you can’t save someone or can’t get there in time,” Steve’s voice drifted off. “You can play it over in your head to figure out what you could’ve done differently, but sometimes the ending you wanted to happen was never going to happen.” He stared wide-eyed at the ground before glancing your way. There was something different in his eyes, like a nightmare he never quite escaped. “And you’re right, it’s one call after another with little to no recovery time in between.”
“But, then you get those calls where everything goes right, and it makes everything you’re doing worth it.” You shot him a warm smile, earning a nod from him.
“Have to say I agree with that.”
Both of you remained silent for a couple of blocks. These careers were tough to talk about. Everyone called you heroes, but sometimes it was hard to feel like a hero.
“Why did you want to be a fireman?”
“Simple, I like helping people, but like any job, it takes a toll.” He shrugged, glancing at you. “When your adrenaline is pumping, and every nerve in your body is firing. There is pressure put on us, and we never know how things will turn out, but we have to assure those we are trying to save that they are going to be okay. It’s like in a moment's notice we have to drop everything because we are the only help that is coming, and we have to try and save them from what could be the worst moment in their life.”
“It’s almost like you rehearsed that. Did you...did you rehearse that?” You joked, forcing him to crack a smile.
“Shut up, so what if I did.” He nudged your side, making you laugh out loud. It was a real laugh, the kind you haven’t had in a long time. It wasn’t a simple chuckle or a forced giggle, but for the first time in a long time, it sounded happy. Maybe, this is what Bruce was talking about when he told you to talk to someone. Weirdly enough, you did feel lighter, like some of the weight was lifted off your shoulders with this one conversation. 
You came to a stop in front of a cozy little townhouse Thor and Darryl rented. It wasn’t huge. It was a two-bedroom home that an elderly couple raised their little girl, Hope, in. You only met Hank Pym and Janet van Dyne a few times, but they were a lovely couple that decided to rent out that home and retire next to the ocean. 
“This is me.” You waved your hand at the house and started pulling off Steve’s jacket when he stopped you. 
“Hold on to it for me.  I’m sure I’ll see you again.”
“Awful sure of yourself, what makes you think I want to see you again?”
“A guy can hope, can’t he. If it helps, my jacket looks a hell of a lot better on you.” 
“It’s helping,” you breathed a smirk, pulling the jacket around you. “Goodnight, Steve. Thanks for the talk and the walk home.”
“Glad I could help. Have a nice night, YN,” he waved, watching you walk up the steps and use your keys to unlock the door. You opened the door and turned around to find him waiting for you to safely get inside. 
“I want you to know, I am still holding you to answer one question,” you added, opening the door wider.
“Look forward to answering it,” he smiled as you walked in and shut the door behind you.
______
AN: Thanks for reading Part 5! This is probably a chapter you all have been waiting for...more Steve action! Haha! What did you think of the round of twenty questions?! We got a little bit more backstory on her, and a little more about Steve. He left to get a new start, too, any theories as to why?! I mean, I know, but I'm curious where your heads are at! Also, I don't know much about billiards/pool rules, it's basically what I have learned through watching people play it, so if it’s totally off my bad! Again, thanks for reading, reblogs, likes, and comments always welcome!
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akistans · 4 years
Text
✰yandere Enhypen.
Hyung line x reader.
Warnings: stalking, Yandere themes, reference to suicidal thoughts, possessiveness, obsession, arranged marriage(ig), death, kidnapping, Jake gives you a hickey, DARK THEMES AHEAD.
This does not represent Enhypen in any way or shape, this is purely fiction. I also don’t support abusive relationships, please seek help if you or a loved one are in that situation.
Requested!
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✰ Lee Heeseung.
Play with your Heartstrings.
What started off as romantic quickly became overbearing. Not a single second wasn’t spent with Heeseung by your side, he was just so innocent in your eyes, you didn’t realize how possessive he really was. You didn’t see it as much of a problem until your friends and family started contacting you saying that you blocked their old numbers months ago.
And weirdest part of it all, you don’t recall, if even a reason why, blocking their numbers. You decided to confront him by saying you two needed a break. But Heeseung would always be two steps ahead of you.
“You want a break...? Why? Am i not a good boyfriend? I knew it, maybe i should just disappear, what good am i?” He guilt trips you, which you instantly fall for.
“You-you’ll stay? Really! You’re not like the others Yn! I love you so much!” He brings you into an almost painful hug, smirking to himself at how gullible you are. And little do you know, that would be the last time you’re heard from.
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✰ Park Jay.
Infatuation love.
From the moment Jay laid eyes on you in pre school, your fate was already destined. He had to have you, he saved himself just for you. Countless rejections and meaningless names that went with them. He wanted you to be his first everything when came to a relationship.
And of course you were going to save yourself for him as well. The thought of another person having you would make him lose it. So he started rumors about you making sure no one ever looked your way. And if someone as dared to even make conversation with you, they’d be leaving the city in a body bag. When you two came of age, he went to your parents, requesting your hand in marriage.
Jay comes from a very wealthy and influential family, so something like this was practically similar to winning the lottery, your parents couldn’t pas this up. When you heard of the news, you were shocked to see even your own parents sold you out. So you decided to leave the city. Before you could even step a foot out, Jay and his men were already at your door.
“Ah-i see you already packed your bags, i see no need why. I can just buy you new things, it’s been my dream to go shopping with you! How bout we do that during our honeymoon?”
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✰ Sim Jake.
Your one and only.
Jake hated your guts, but don’t worry, the feeling was mutual. He hated how you rejected his advances, and you hated that he even had the audacity. He was known as the school flirt, so of course you didn’t want anything to do with him, you were more focused on your studies anyway.
In all honesty, although you were annoying as hell, he liked this little “game” going on between you two. He liked how you provided a little more challenge, he wanted that feeling all to himself.
One day he saw one of his good friends flirting with you and you were just eating it up. His final breaking point was when you caressed his friends arm and stepped closer to him. Something snapped, Jake lost it, and came up to you two. He pinned you against the locker and roughly brought you in for a kiss. His friend got the message and left. You tried your best to pull him off but he wouldn’t let up.
“You think i liked seeing you get all gushy with him just now? Wow. You’re incredibly stupid. But dont worry though, i’ll make sure everyone knows your taken.” He managed to suck an eye catching purple spot onto your collarbone and walked into class with his arm around your waist.
“Maybe this will teach you a lesson.”
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✰ Park Sunghoon.
Beneath the mask.
So cute. You were just so cute and easy for the taking. A serial killer appeared in your neighborhood about a year ago, No one knew a single thing about said killer, except that he specifically targeted your university. And might i add, your local police department is doing an “excellent job” in tracking him down.
One thing was clear though, the victim’s bodies would be found weeks later. He left no evidence whatsoever. One day, you started to feel a dark presence around you, as if you were being watched. This carried on for a whole month, you lived far away from home so you couldn’t seek comfort from your family, your friends started to think you were crazy, and the police said they couldn’t help you. Yes, the police said that.
You overslept at the library one day and missed your bus, forcing you to walk home. And that was the fateful day, you were snatched off the street by a masked man. You tried your best to escape, but it was hopless, you begged in tears and asked him who was he. The boy lifted the hoodie and mask off him to reveal a handsome face.
“I’m your new boyfriend, lover, honey, whatever you want to call it, at least until i get bored and decide your no longer worth the trouble. But since you’re so cute, i may just bend the rules this once.” He help up his index finger with a mischievous smile, pinching your cheek as if you were some baby before dragging you away.
By next week Your missing posters would be around town.
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Authors note: This honestly turned out darker than i expected;-; I really had some amazing concepts for the hyung lines and it was so hard to say everything for each of them at once so i may elaborate further on each member specifically in the future. I’ll probably do a maknae one in the near future.
But i hope you all enjoyed !
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spvce-cowboy · 4 years
Text
drivers license
francisco morales x f!reader - oneshot
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rating: mature
3.1k words
warnings: drug/alcohol use, reader is a dealer, age gap, so much YEARNING!!!
summary: a surprise visit from an old friend
a/n: 100 follower celebration!! partially inspired by this post but also the fact that i have been sing-screaming “drivers license” for oh about four days straight now. thank you guys so so much for all the support so far ! 💕
**
A fist slamming against your front door wakes you from a dreamless sleep.
You push yourself off your mattress, blearily checking the time on your phone and cursing under your breath when you see that it’s almost 3am. You sit up all the way, blinking as you wait to see if what woke you up was something you’d imagined or if it were real.
It’s real. It starts again after a second, three sharp raps against the door, followed by some kind of muffled talking. Your heart rate picks up in your chest, you grab the baseball bat you have leaned against the wall as you reach your apartment door. Squeezing one eye shut, you look through the peephole.
The good thing is that it definitely isn’t the cops. You take a relieved breath, leaning away from the door.
The bad thing is that whoever is knocking is hunched on his knees, just outside of the peephole’s line of sight, so you have absolutely no idea who the fuck it is.
“Please open the door,” the man’s voice begs from the other side of the door. You’re about to yell at him to fuck off, but he interrupts you before you can even open your mouth. “Little flower, it’s me, please.”
The nickname makes your heart go to your throat. The bat in your hands falls to the floor.
You rub a hand over your eyes, huffing an exhale in a vague attempt to prevent your heart from ricocheting against your ribs. It doesn’t work. Because as soon as he says it, as soon as you realize who it is, it brings everything back with him.
A set of sturdy, tanned fingers cupped against the knuckles of your grandfather’s hand, the voice went low in a warm but respectful greeting. You didn’t realize how gnarled your old man’s hands had gotten until you had someone else’s to compare them to. You looked back down at the crumpled up dollar bills you’d just been handed, one of them still rolled. Turning to find your bag on the coatrack, you stuff the money in your back pocket.
“My little flower, this is a good one,” your grandfather told you with a small hum that signifies whatever he just said must be set in stone. You hear the sound of him heavily patting the hand cupped over his own in that way he does when he appreciates the presence of something. “He has a decent head on his shoulders, no?”
“Little flower?” You can hear the boyish smile in that all too familiar voice before you even turn back around. “That suits you well, I think. Florita. I like that.”
“Christ, Frankie, what are you doing here?” You rest your head against the doorframe, heart sinking in your chest. You don’t open the door, to protect him or yourself you don’t know.
“I need—”
“You’ve got a kid now, Frankie. I told you I’m not going to sell to you anymore.”
“Ever the moralist,” the bite to his words is so uncharacteristic you can’t help but flinch. He seems to realize this, too. His apology is nearly immediate. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. You’re right. I… It’s not…”
You swallow, closing your eyes and wrapping your arms around yourself for some bare semblance of comfort. “Please go,” your voice is so quiet you’re not sure he can hear you through the layer of wood separating the two of you. “You’ll wake the neighbors.”
It’s quiet for a long time. Long enough that you nearly think he’s left. Long enough that you don’t know why you’re still standing at the door and not back in bed.
And Frankie says your name, voice cracking. Your actual name. It’s been so long since you’ve heard it come off his lips you can’t help sink into the door.
A held breath leaves you in a shuddering sigh. Your shaking hands open the door.
The man who spills onto the ground before you is a stranger, yet, heartbreakingly, just as he had been when you first met him. Messy hair, worn blue jeans, gray button-down stretching over the perfect expanse of his back. All that is missing this time around is that lazy smile, that easy, Hey, darling.
In a bar. Right when your grandfather started getting sick.
“Eighty,” you said without him having to continue his sentence beyond his syrupy greeting, eyes trained on the shelves of liquor in front of you instead of having to meet his gaze.
He copped an eighth, tucking the little baggie in a pocket on the inside of his jacket. You went back to your drink, angling your body away from him again and expecting him to return to his table of friends. But then the knuckles of his hand nudged the side of you elbow. He gestured to your beer, the neck of the bottle clasped between your thumb and the hook of your middle and index fingers.
“Lemme buy you your next one, yeah?” He had a hunched lean to his posture, in that way that men do when they want you to feel like you’re the only person in the room. You were mad that it worked. He extended a hand. “Frankie Morales.”
The truth of it was that the two of you became friends, after that. Nothing more. Regardless, it was too close for you to get to someone you dealt to, but you were so lonely at that point in your life—taking care of the old man by day, GED classes at night--that meeting Frankie was a small blessing. Nothing ever happened between you two but God you wish it did.
To describe what you felt towards him as a crush didn’t really cut it, but you were fine with friends. Being completely fair, he was definitely one to send mixed signals—Christ, your weekly tradition of driving to an overlook to split an order of fries and milkshakes on the hood of his truck just about screamed every romcom you were raised on. But despite the occasional prolonged touch, the hand he would place on the small of your back to move you out of the way or guide you forward, nothing happened.
You dealt with it. Tried to be supportive as possible when he met his girl. Frankie broke the news that she was pregnant. The two of you saw each other less and less frequently. Sometimes he would call to catch up. Eventually, you stopped answering when he did. Your grandfather died. You got into a local art school.
It was sad how quietly it all faded. You didn’t know it could, but it did.
And now here he is, literally crumpled at your feet.
Frankie messily pulls himself up off the ground and onto his knees. He reeks of booze and old cigarettes. You freeze as his hands wrap over your hips, as he presses his face into your stomach and murmurs an incoherent apology—for what, you’re not exactly sure.
And when you finally processing what’s happening, what you had begged the universe for years, you can’t help yourself. Your card your fingers through his hair, gritting your teeth and squeezing your eyes shut.
“Frankie,” it’s a warning. It’s a reminder. “You’re drunk. You need to go home. Your girlfriend--”
“She left a week ago,” he speaks into the fabric covering your belly. The words burst forwards as if not even he was expecting to say them. It’s a confession. His hands flex from where they hold onto you. “She’s gone.” Your heart drops to your gut, your chest aching. “I need… Just for the night I… Little flower, the house is so empty.”
You keep petting back his hair until his breathing quiets. He keeps holding onto you, even then. The two of you stay like that for a long time.
“Why don’t,” your voice comes out too shaky. Too unsure of itself. You clear your throat and try again. “Why don’t you take a shower, I’ll get you some water and we can sober you up a bit. Okay?”
He tilts his face up at you. It’s the first time you’ve seen him in well over a year.
And he hasn’t changed. It’s all there—the soft mess of shaggy hair, dark but kind eyes, the beloved hook of his nose.
One sun-sick evening, you rode your bike to the beach just to get out of the apartment. You need somewhere to sit and think for a while, just until your head feels more clear. There’s enough of a chill in the air that you have to throw on a jacket, it’s nice. It’s like you can feel the wind moving through you. Past you.
When you arrived at the beach, you got off your bike, leaning it against your hip as you scoped out a spot to sit in the sand. You were about to wheel it over to the rack when--
Someone pinched your elbow in greeting. Their steps were so quiet you didn’t even register their approach. It, obviously, startled you, and your hand immediately flew to the keychain in your back pocket. The knife you had attached to it.
When you turned, and it was Frankie’s familiar face, his hands raised in joking surrender.
In that light, with the sun still flirting with the horizon, it rendered his face into shapes and shadows you had only previously seen in the old oil paintings of long-dead greats. You thought it was in the deep bourbon of his eyes, soft when illuminated by a tangerine sky. It was him. All of him. Slightly breathless, hair ruffled by the wind.
“Hey, hey, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you,” he sounded genuinely apologetic. You released a relieved huff of air.
“Fucking Christ, Frankie. A little warning would be nice next time.”
“Did you bike the whole way here? From the apartment?” He asked, there was a tinge of concern to his voice.
You shrugged, trying to hide your embarrassment by lowering your kickstand with the heel of you boot. “It’s not that far.”
“Don’t you have a car?”
“Can’t drive,” you wrinkle your nose. “Never needed to.”
He looked you for a moment, if you didn’t know any better you’d say critically.
“I was just about to get something to eat, if you wanna join me,” he tucked his hands in his pockets as he spoke. “There’s this overlook nearby that has a way better view of all of this.” He motions to the ocean with the tilt of his head. “I can drive us there.”
You regarded him as he spoke, cautiously looking him up and down. And you nodded, smiling slightly. He smiled back, it was big and crooked. It made something in the pit of your belly feel warm.
You step away, holding out your hand to help him to his feet. He complies, stumbling slightly and rubbing his hand over his face as he does so. He disappears down the hall without having to ask where the bathroom is.
Sighing, you go back into your room, pulling out a shirt and a pair of oversized sweatpants for him to change into. You knock on the bathroom door on your way to the kitchen. The apartment’s walls are so thin you can hear the hiss of the shower from all the way down the hall.
“Come in,” Frankie’s voice barely rises above the sound.
You crack the door open, keeping your eyes trained to the floor as you place the folded clothes on the sink’s counter.
“Here’s something for you to change into,” you tell him. He thanks you, the shower turning off right as you close the door behind you. You walk back down the hall and into the living room, making two glasses of water before settling on your couch.
Once, after a night out, the two of you were too drunk and too broke to afford separate taxis home. He proposed going back to his house, split the cost, grab a cab for you once it wasn’t so late and the rates went down.
You agreed, as you did anytime he extended the offer to spend time there. There was something about the quiet, tucked-in nature of the suburbs that was so novel to you. So calming.
The two of you settled on the couch. Feeling bold, you lay your head in his lap and kicked your socked feet up on the opposite armrest as you describe to him the gallery opening you’d snuck into. How you successfully schmoozed to the owner as well as one of the artists.
He asked you if you had heard back from any of the scholarships you’d applied to. You hadn’t, but you’d only just submitted the applications, so it would be at least a few months wait.
You tell him your dreams of becoming an artist. A real one. He already knew that, but you really tell him this time, all the details you usually keep to yourself, too special to you to have the courage to voice aloud. The fantasy of moving out into the mountains, getting a cabin just big enough for a hotplate and a bed and a studio. You’ve lived and breathed LA for your entire life and you were tired of the city. Tired of every street corner baked with the memories of high school and the listless years that followed, of the small humiliations you had to succumb to in order to survive.
Frankie listened and nodded enthusiastically at all the right parts. It was only then that you realized his hands smoothed over the top of your scalp as you talked. You let it continue, it felt too nice not to.
He told you that you should, and if you needed help finding the money he could always--
You cut him off before he could finish the thought, shaking your head. Responsibilities came first, you had people who needed you. A degree to finish. Savings to maintain. You asked him about the new girl he’d been seeing and he eagerly launches into a story about a different, wild night out. You smile and laugh throughout the whole thing, trying to ignore the pang it gives you when he describes the dress she was wearing. He fingers continued to brush over the crown of your head as he talked.
You fell asleep there, on his lap. You woke up before the sun rose, hot and sweaty and still a little drunk from the vodka Redbulls that never agreed well with your heart.
It took you a second to realize you were in Frankie’s bed, alone. When you padded back into the living room, he was passed out on the couch, a throw blanket wrapped around his shoulders, using his arm as a pillow.
You left after helping yourself to a shower, texting him a sarcastic good luck with that hangover. You’re about to call a taxi home but something stopped you. You thought it might be the way the sun was barely breaking over the cusp of the smoggy horizon, the sky reduced to pale shades of violet with the coming dawn.
The quiet neighborhood Frankie lived in is all the more beautiful, like this. Subdued, empty, houses in winding but even rows that scale up the mountainside like sets of bad teeth. You decided to walk, just until the sun got a little brighter. Until the people started to shake themselves awake for a new day.
You got a text from him as you were making breakfast, back at your apartment by then. Thanks. Hope you slept well, little flower. Something about the small missive kept you smiling the whole day after.
You mess with your phone until Frankie returns.
“I’m sorry, for showing up like this,” Frankie says as he hovers over the living room’s threshold. The clothes you leant him fit well enough, only slightly oversized on his frame as opposed to how they generously drape off of you. He holds his towel in his hands, looking down at it instead of you.  “I honestly don’t have an excuse and you… you shouldn’t accept any. But I thought I should still tell you.”
You look at him for an extended beat, knowing he’s being honest. You’re at a genuine loss as to how to handle the situation.
“We can deal with it later,” you settle with that. It sounds good enough to you, and when he finally meets your eyes again he looks a little relieved. You nod you head towards the glass of water you placed on the coffee table, he takes your lead and settles on the opposite side of the couch, leaning over to take his own glass.
“So um… how are you?” He asks you earnestly, angling his body towards you.
“Okay,” you take a sip of water, trying to keep it casual. “Cleaning up my act a bit, you know? Going to school, picking up jobs here and there. Trying to figure out what I want to do. Oh! I uh… I learned how to drive--impressive I know.”
“The city flower herself, operating a vehicle?” His face breaks into a familiar, goofy smile you can’t help but reciprocate. “I’ll add every pedestrian in LA to my prayers.”
“You should,” you shake your head as you laugh, leaning into your corner of the couch and pulling your knees up to your chest. You finally relax, giving yourself the small allowance of settling into the comfort that inevitably comes with his presence.
And it really is just as easy as it always has been between the two of you. The conversation naturally ebbs and flows, neither of you bother to broach the heavier stuff. For now, just this it’s enough.
It’s enough to see the spark in his eyes when he tells you about his daughter, how bright she is, how much trouble she gets into—just like her dad. It’s enough to hear about his friends, all those names and backstories that you still vividly remember. It’s enough to bask in the feeling of how he leans into you with laughter, a hand lingering on your knee for seconds longer than it probably should have, as he always tends to do.
It’s enough to see him grin when you tell him about the scholarships you got, how weird it felt being the oldest person in all your classes, even if it was only by a handful of years. He doesn’t ask how your grandfather is, the living room being cleared of all the heart monitors and breathing machines is enough to answer that question. You’re grateful he doesn’t. You’re not sure you’d be able to keep a brave face if he did.
You don’t want time to pass. You want to stay here, with him, like this, in that perpetual state of catching up, in that breathless deluge that has the not-so-subtle undercurrent of this is what has happened since you left. I wish you would have been there. But I am so happy you are here now.
When you can no longer stifle your yawns, you stand to refill your glass of water, speaking on your walk over to the sink.
“I’d love to keep talking but I honestly don’t think I can keep my eyes open much longer,” you tell him as you turn the tap off. “I can make up the couch for you, if you’d like.”
When he doesn’t immediately respond, you turn to look back at him. He’s staring at you from where he is seated, eyes dark with something that isn’t just from the low light of the living room.
“What?” You ask after a few more seconds of him not responding. He looks away from you, shaking his head.
“Yeah, that would be great.”
Your eyes search his for a moment, positive that that was not at all what he was turning over in his head during those few seconds of silence. You’re too tired to press, so you gather a spare set of sheets for him. He stands when you come back into the living room, holding out his arms to take them from you. You wave him away, setting up the pull-out bed yourself. You’d grown up sleeping on this thing, tucking the fitted sheet into the corners was always tricky, and he didn’t know where the bolts of the couch’s frame would cut the shit out of his hands if he wasn’t careful.
Throwing a pillow down, you turn back to Frankie. He’s standing closer to you, now. You have to tilt your head up slightly to meet his eyes.
“All set,” you tell him. He nods, eyes searching your face for a moment. Your brow furrows. “Frankie, you’re being weird. Stop it.”
His chuckle breaks the tension.
“Sorry—I’ve been saying that a lot tonight, haven’t I?” He takes a deep breath. You’re smiling again, about to agree with him, and without warning his hand is comes up to cup the side of your face. You still, lips parted in an unasked question. “Thank you, little flower,” his voice goes rough again, as it had when you were speaking to each other through the door. “I really mean it.”
Frankie’s hand drops when you nod, lips pressed together. He sits back down on the pull-out. You wish him goodnight quietly and return to your room.
Leaving your bedroom door cracked open, you climb back into bed. With everything in you, you hope he’s still there when you wake. He will be.
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hanniiesuckle17 · 4 years
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Lover, Lover, Set Me Free...
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A/n: I hope you like this! It’s been a while since I’ve written something like this! (not fully edited only partially edited) also i totally did not pull an all nighter to finish this hahaha.......
Requested by: @hannie-squirrel00​ (thank you for requesting lovely! Sry it took a while! I wanted to do it right! <3)
Warnings: cussing, slightly 18+ themes, POV switching
Word Count: 13k
Summary: Jisung is one of the biggest players on campus. When Hyunjin bets him that he can’t get into the coldest girl on campus’s pants, Y/n gets unknowingly thrown into the ordeal. While doing his best, Jisung unconsciously starts to fall for this girl who means more to him that he is willing to admit to anyone- even himself. 
Genre: Romance, angst, fluff, college!au, fuckboy!jisung, badboy!jisung, non-idol au
When did university become a popularity contest? Wasn’t the whole point to come and learn? Instead, I’m fighting tooth and nail to get a spot in the costuming program with bitches who don’t even know how to sew on a damn zipper. My hard work is being looked over while girls making googly eyes at my professor get top priority in class.
“Y/n, if you aren’t careful you’re gonna sew your finger to your garment again.” My best friend, Felix, said next to me. I shook myself out of my trance and sighed, turning off my sewing machine and running a hand through my hair. 
“Sorry, my head is just somewhere else.” 
Felix scoffed next to me as he focused on hemming a lavender-colored slip. “I’d be spacy too if I hadn’t gotten laid in a year.” He nudged my shoulder making me laugh.
“I’m sorry that I don’t need to have an active sex drive to get work done. Besides, guys are a waste of time.”
“I strongly disagree with that last statement.”
Felix smirked and pulled his garment off the machine. Despite many girls pining after him, it was quite obvious Felix was into guys. Well...obvious to everyone except the girls who kept buying him vodka martinis when we went out to drink.
“Seungmin and I were gonna go out for drinks. You wanna come?” My best friend said packing up his stuff. I looked back at the dress I was sewing, then Felix. He was pulling his best puppy dog eyes on me. 
“I will go tonight if you help me put boning in two corsets tomorrow.”
Felix grimaced. But I knew he would rather have a drinking buddy than have Seungmin leave him at the bar shitfaced. “Fine. But the first drink is on you.” I smiled and packed up my stuff, taking the garment with me. I could work on it back in my dorm tomorrow.
Felix happily dragged me out of the theatre department building and to the most popular campus bar on a Friday night. Seungmin was already seated at the bar nursing a beer when we arrived. Several people greeted Felix as we pushed through the crowded pub. “If it isn’t the famous Arctic Bitch!” I scowled hearing the name. Apparently, I had given myself quite a reputation without even trying.
Seungmin didn’t mean any harm by saying it. He just liked to poke fun at me. I bought Felix his first drink and the three of us shouted at each other over the loud music and voices in the bar. “Why is it so crowded tonight?” I shouted, frowning as someone elbowed me. 
“Apparently, 3RACHA decided to show up a couple hours ago.”
“WHAT? I call dibs on Changbin!” Felix shouted, his eyes going wide. I rolled my eyes and stole a sip from Seungmin’s beer. I could honestly care less about those three bullheaded bone-driven music majors. I didn’t really see the appeal. So, instead, I steered the conversation away so I could in fact enjoy my night. 
Third POV
Han Jisung smirked as he watched the girl whose name he honestly couldn’t remember walk away back to her friends. He looked down at the number she had written on his wrist. He was in the middle of deciding whether or not he actually wanted to call her when a voice called to him.
“Han stop flirting with random girls and come actually spend time with your friends!” 
Chan motioned him over back to the booth that his three friends sat in. Hyunjin scoffed and took another drink from his gin and tonic.
“Do you really have to do that?” Changbin asked, downing the rest of his drink.
“What?”
“Bone everything that moves.”
“Please. Han is not as good as he thinks he is.” Hyunjin said, slapping Jisung on the shoulder. Jisung glared at his friend. He and Hyunjin bickered, but Hyunjin didn’t usually bring out the big punches like that.
“Oh yeah? I can get any girl in this bar to sleep with me.”
“You really wanna do this?”
“Yes. Give me your best shot.”
Chan sighed, his hands covering his face. “Guys, don’t do this. I like this bar. Don’t kill the bar. I wanna come back here.” Changbin chuckled, enjoying the situation as he nursed his second cocktail. Jisung watched with a smirk as Hyunjin looked over all the girls in the bar. His grin stayed strong when Hyunjin turned back to him with a smile.
“You, sir, are in luck. Guess who I spotted at the bar?” Hyunjin quipped.
“Your mom.” Han held his hand up to Changbin for a high five, and the boy reluctantly complied.
“I challenge you to get Seoul University’s Arctic Bitch to sleep with you,” Hyunjin said pointing to the bar. Jisung followed Hyunijn’s direction and looked across the bar. His eyes fell on a girl with h/c hair and a stern expression on her face as she stole a sip from her friend’s beer. She wasn’t the hottest girl he had ever seen, but her ass wasn’t half bad. 
“Challenge accepted.” Han moved to get up from the booth, but Hyunjin stopped him once more. 
“Hold up big boy. You’ve gotta give me proof too.”
“What kind of proof?”
“I don’t know. Picture, video, something like that. I’ve gotta know it’s her and not one of the random sluts you usually hook up with.”
Han thought about it for a minute. He glanced over at Chan who shook his head solemnly. Of course, Chan would be against this. “Fine. What do I get if I win?” Jisung stated, shaking Hyunjin’s hand. Hyunjin thought for a minute.
“If you get her to sleep with you AND get proof- I’ll give you $1500.” 
The other boys’ eyes went wide. Fifteen hundred dollars? Han started daydreaming about the new monitors he could get for his computer and the new sound system for his home studio. Plus that could go to paying off some of his student debt because God knows his parents weren’t gonna pay for this expensive college. “Oh, you got a deal!” Jisung glanced back over at the girl by the bar. This would be a piece of cake.
“If you can’t get Y/n to sleep with you...you have to go to graduation dressed in full lingerie. And heels.” 
Chan and Changbin laughed, calling attention over to the boys for a moment. He had already agreed so there was no way he could back out of this. “Deal. I can’t wait to get my 1.5k!” Jisung smirked and poured himself another shot of soju before downing it like it was water. With a salute to his friends, the brunette haired boy crossed the bar to complete his challenge. 
No way he would need three months to complete this.
Y/n’s POV
We had been at the bar for only an hour and a half and Felix had already had three drinks, one of which was paid for by a very pretty- but not so observant- girl. It was kind of funny to watch him tipsily argue with Seungmin over who was the better role in our university’s musical, Chicago: Roxie or Velma.
“Fuck you, Min! Velma is a boss ass bitch in thigh highs! Whatcha gonna do about it, BRO?”
“Lix, drink some water,” I said, pushing my water towards my best friend. He pulled the drunk move and took the tiniest sip before turning back to his word assault against our other friend. Seungmin was only slightly more sober, but still argued with passion for his girl Roxie. Suddenly, there was a tap on my shoulder.
“Hey, you’re....Y/n, right? Lemme buy you a drink.”
My eyes raked over the boy in front of me. His brown hair brushed over the corner of his forehead and his eyes had a mischievous glint to them. A confident smirk played on his lips as his hand ghosted over my waist, before turning to the bar and back to me. 
“What’s your poison? Cosmopolitan, right?”
“Actually, I’ll take a Godfather.”
I stifled a laugh at the near microscopic flash of surprise on his face. He quickly regained his cocky composure and looked me up and down. “Whiskey. A girl after my own heart.” While he turned to the bartender and ordered my drink I took the opportunity to turn back to my friends and roll my eyes. But, to my surprise, Felix was standing slack-jawed behind me staring at the guy attempting to flirt with me, his argument with Seungmin forgotten.
“Sorry, who are you and why should I care you like whiskey?”
The shock was evident on his face as he turned back to me. He blinked a few times before looking around the bar in confusion. “You don’t know who I am?” He scoffed when I shook my head. The bartender handed me my drink as well as a jack and coke for the boy next to me. “This might be harder than I thought,” he muttered under his breath before taking a large sip from his drink. I was driving so this would probably be my one and only drink for the night. “I’m Han Jisung. I’m one of the rappers in 3RACHA.”
“Ah....that explains the air of entitlement.” 
He sighed and took another swig of his drink, leaning on the bar. I was starting to get frustrated; I came to have fun with my two friends, not get hit on by some cocky asshole. “Look Jinyoung-”
“Jisung.”
“Right. Whatever. I came to have fun with my friends. So, thanks for the drink. Why don’t you just call...Mina,” I said reading the name on his arm written in girly handwriting. “Cause she already seems interested in your deal. But, I’m not so.....bye!” 
Without another word, I turned around and returned to my friends, who were speechless. I couldn’t help but watch their eyes track Jisung’s form all the way back to the booth with the rest of his friends who could be heard laughing- most likely at him- from all the way across the bar.
“You just shot down the second hottest guy on campus.”
“Second hottest?”
“Yeah, have you seen his friend Chan? Boy’s got abs like a washboard.” 
I could practically see Felix’s mouth start to water. “Keep it in your pants, bud.” Seungmin laughed at my comment and threw an arm lazily around my shoulder. “Min, are you drunk already?” He just giggled and started poking my cheeks. I downed the rest of my drink and let Seungmin rest his head on my shoulder. 
“Come on, dummies. Let’s go home.” Felix followed me out of the bar as I carried Seungmin to my car. I was pretty sure I heard cheers behind me as I opened the door, when I turned I saw Felix twirling his shirt over his head and dancing with some random guy near the exit.
“FELIX!” 
He whined as I dragged him away from the guy he was dancing with. “Noooooooooooo! He was so sweet!” I laughed and strapped my best friend into the car safely. Tonight was certainly not what I had expected.
A car horn blaring outside my window sent me shooting up in bed. My hair stuck up in ungodly directions. Yet another night of restless sleep. 
I rubbed my eyes and checked the time. About nine in the morning. No matter how early I went to bed I never seemed to get a good night’s rest.
Lazily I rolled out of bed and slipped on some shorts. My tired body shuffled into the dorm living room. I laughed seeing Seungmin half falling off my couch, asleep; it wasn’t uncommon for him to crash at my dorm after having a few drinks. My roommate didn’t really mind seeing as she had quite the little crush on him.
Speaking of, the sound of her door opening caught my attention. “Morning Lia,” I whispered. She started to speak but covered her mouth when she saw Seungmin passed out on the couch. “You want some tea?” I asked, setting a kettle on one of the burners. She nodded, sitting down and crossing her long legs on one of the kitchen stools.
Lia was maybe a year older than me and also a theatre major with a focus in performance. She had landed the lead in many of our university productions including our current musical, Chicago. 
“So, Seungmin was in quite the heated argument last night.” My dormmate’s eyes widened at the mention of the boy’s name. “He was quite adamant on making Lix understand that Roxie was the greatest lead in the show.” A dark tint rose to her cheeks as she glanced at the sleeping hungover boy on our couch. Lia was playing Roxie in our production this year.
“He probably just likes the character.”
I rose a brow and handed her a mug of tea, before sipping on my own. “Sure, he does. Because our techie Seungmin just adores the motivations of a starstruck murderess.” Somehow her cheeks grew even darker. 
“I have to go work in the Shop today, could you watch him while I’m gone?” She nodded with a small smile. The Shop was what we called the costume and scene shop. Basically, the backstage tech work area was the Shop. 
After finishing our tea, we parted ways and got ready for the day. I slipped on my favorite sweatpants and threw on a semi-clean crop top. Feeling a little chilly, I threw on the matching grey jacket hanging on my desk chair. After fighting with my hair for ten minutes I gave up and started packing my backpack with things I needed for the day.
I groaned looking over at the corner of my room; I’d forgotten to take four rolls of rather expensive and custom fabric to the workroom yesterday, so I had to do it today. Gathering the fabric up in my arms, I headed out.
The sidewalks were practically empty as I crossed campus on my way to the Arts part of the university. My knee pushed up a slipping fabric roll before I continued my walk, pace quickening as I saw the auditorium building up ahead. Finally, I would be able to set these down soon.
“Ahh!”
My foot caught on a crack on the sidewalk and fabric unrolled and went flying through the air. I scraped my hands against the pavement bracing my fall. Slowly I sat up and looked at my palms. They were red, some of the scrapes breaking the skin. 
“Fuck. Really?” 
With a groan, I reached for the nearest roll and checked the material. Thankfully the black silk was still intact and not ruined. Carefully I started the process of re-rolling it, wincing at the rawness on my hands.
“Need any help?” A voice spoke beside me. Before I could respond, the person knelt down and started rolling up another length of red material. I scoffed seeing who the voice belonged to. It was Jisung, from the bar last night.
“I’ve got it.”
“I just saw you hardcore face plant. I don’t think you’ve ‘got it’.” 
He laughed at my scowl and continued to help pick up the fabric I had dropped. As I began standing up, he grabbed my hand. “What the hell dude?” I said, pulling away from his grasp.
“Woah. Chill! You scraped your hand. I’m just trying to help.”
He tucked the rolls under his arm and unzipped a pocket in his backpack, bringing out bandaids and some antiseptic spray. I eyed him warily, but let him take my hand again. He glanced up at my eyes, gauging my expression before continuing to uncap the spray.
“This will sting a little.”
“Tsk. I’ve sewed through my finger, I think I can handle- AHHH OW! FUCK!”
He laughed, his eyes turning into happy crescent moons. I had to admit he had a nice smile. Then again, how many times had that smile gotten him into the pants of half the female student body?
I watched as he opened up two bandaids, gently laid them over my palm, and covered the scrapes. When they were secure, he looked back up at me with that cocky smirk. 
“Want me to kiss it better?” 
I rolled my eyes and yanked my hand away. “Anyway, Jiwon-”
“Jisung.”
His brows furrowed in frustration but he quickly plastered on a more than fake smile. It was honestly kind of fun messing with him; he was so used to being treated like some kind of sex god it seemed he had forgotten what it was like to be a normal human being like the rest of us. “Thanks for the help. I’m gonna go now.”
“Hey! Wait! That’s not how you thank someone.” Jisung said, grabbing back the two rolls of fabric in his arms as I tried to take them. 
“Oh? And how do you propose I thank you?”
He smirked and looked me up and down. His hand ran through his brown locks as his tongue ghosted over his lips. “Well, I mean...” He shrugged as if the thought was just occurring to him. “I can think of a few ways you could return the favor.”
“Your genitals don’t come with a built-in bulletproof shield, so you better watch yourself, fuckboy.”
Jisung visibly gulped and slowly shifted the fabric rolls in front of his waist. I almost smirked seeing the brief look of fear for his manhood; he shivered under my stare and then regained his composure. “Man, they don’t call you the Arctic Bitch for nothing.”
My face fell and I ran a hand through my hair. “Look, I’ve got work to do, corsets to make, and I have to figure out how to sew rhinestones onto a lavalier.” Jisung seemed to take notice of my change in demeanor. 
“Hey, I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“Well, you’d be pretty offended if I called you a man whore. Same shit.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” He scuffed his shoe on the sidewalk and played with the edge of one of the rolls. Just because I would rather get through my insane credit hours than suck up to some bitch who’d probably drop out in a year doesn’t mean I deserve to have this hurtful nickname. 
“Where are you going? I’ll help you carry these.” Jisung interjected, breaking the very awkward silence. I shook my head and once again tried to take back my fabric. 
“I’m fine. You can go back to class or whatever.”
“I was actually headed to the studio to record with Changbin, but I’ve got time.”
I sighed. This man was persistent and not in a good way. There was no way I was going to get rid of him. “Fine. But if you fuck up that fabric I’m making you pay for it.” He smiled and tucked the fabric under his arm, following me to the back of the auditorium building. 
I watched Jisung take in everything in the hallway and on the walls as we made our way to the costume shop. “What? Have you never seen the backstage of a theater before?”
“Nah. I’ve only done small venues. Nothing with a stage like this.” 
I had almost forgotten Jisung was a rapper. As we came upon the workroom door, I adjusted the fabric in my hand and then pushed the door open with my foot. Jisung followed after I motioned for him to enter the room.
“Y/n! Do we really have to bone corsets? Like can’t we just cheat and put in a plastic lining?” Felix called out not looking up from his workstation. He sounded hungover. “Lia is tiny. Why does she need a fucking corset anyway--heyyyy there’s Jisung......Y/n why is he here?”
I dumped the fabric on a work table and Jisung did the same. “I picked up a stray. Thought you might like a pet.” Jisung rolled his eyes when I pointed behind me. When I turned around, Jisung still stood with his hands in his pockets. “You can go now.”
“What if I don’t want to?”
“Yeah, what if he doesn’t want to, Y/n?” Felix said in a teasing tone. A quick but deadly glare sent his way quickly shut him up and caused him to turn around back to his workstation. Jisung sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. 
“Look. I’m meeting a couple friends at the bar tonight. Why don’t you come by?”
“Hard pass.”
“What if I want to go?” Felix chimed in.
“Yeah, what if he wants to go!” Jisung said with a smirk.
“Felix, shut up for like two seconds.”
Felix scoffed and returned to putting boning in a red lingerie corset. “We both know that’s not gonna happen.” He muttered under his breath. I heard Jisung let out a laugh at the little exchange.
“Whether I go to the bar or not tonight has nothing to do with you. It is probably reliant on the fact that I have no control over my best friend.” Felix chuckled behind me. Jisung shrugged and looked around the room before backing away.
“Okay.”
“Hey, Jisung! Put in a good word for me with Changbin?” Felix called out, leaning over his chair. Jisung let out a lighthearted laugh as he opened the door. Felix had a hopeful look on his face that made me want to vomit.
“Sure, why not.”
Then we were left in silence. I quickly began working, but I felt Felix’s stare on my profile. I knew he couldn’t stay silent for long. Felix couldn’t go four minutes and eighteen seconds without immediately spewing out his opinion. Seungmin and I had timed it once; exactly four minutes later, he erupted.
“ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH JISUNG?”
“Did you see me go home with him last night?”
“No....you went home with Seungmin--OH MY GOD ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH SEUNGMIN?!”
“What? No! Ew!” I said tossing an empty pin cushion at him. “Never in a million years.” Felix let out a hefty sigh of relief. My fingers quickly worked through sewing up a finished section of a corset. 
Another silence followed as Felix turned back to our work. It was so obvious his thoughts were festering, just waiting to once again pop out. “So... how did Mr. Balls-for-Brains wind up helping you carry costume fabric?” 
I shrugged, putting in another piece of spiral steel and lining it up in a corset panel. “He helped me when I tripped. Apparently, the music department recording studios are near here.” 
“Uh....no they're not. The studios are on the other side of the Arts campus.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m pretty sure he was just hanging around the theatre buildings until he saw you.” Felix laughed as I shuddered. I took a quick breath as the needle pricked my finger. This conversation was seriously distracting me. “So....we are going out tonight though. Right?” 
“I’m not going out dressed like this.”
“Just grab something from the racks. Mr. Jung won’t mind.”
“If we are going out, I’m drinking.”
“No argument from me. Then we get fun Y/n.” I threw another pin cushion at him, hearing a high pitched yelp beside me. The two of us worked for the next 6 hours until the sun started to set outside the Shop window. I let Felix dress me up from stuff on the racks and we called Lia and Seungmin to meet us at the bar.
When we arrived, it was certainly less packed than the night before. I pulled at the tight skirt Felix had put me in, wishing it to cover more of my thighs than its length allowed. Seungmin whistled as I sat down next to him at the bar. He turned my barstool to face him and Lia, who smiled and clapped at my appearance. 
“Is this global warming because the Arctic is hot tonight!”
I slapped his shoulder and turned back to the bartender to order my drink. “I would recognize this anywhere. This is the work of the Great Felix Stylist extraordinaire.” Lia exclaimed, letting Felix take a bow. The bartender slid over my drink and I rested my feet against the bar stool. They were sore from the heels Felix had put me in; only once every so often would I let him play dress up on me.
The night rolled on and I even danced with Lia after a couple more drinks. We came back off the dance floor to see Jisung talking with Felix and Seungmin, his arm leaning against the bar. “Jackass alert,” I whispered to Lia as we approached. 
Jisung’s eyes widened when he saw our approach. He seemed to drink in my entire body, not letting any part of me go unseen. “Hey, gorgeous.” He said with a smirk, his eyes dragging over me once again as he sipped his drink. “Can I talk to you?” 
“Sure, I said standing next to Felix and stealing a sip from his gin martini. I was really thirsty after dancing so much with Lia. He glanced from me back to my friends who were watching us expectantly. 
“I meant alone.” 
With a nod, the rest of my friends started moving towards an open booth. I stopped Felix, a hand on his martini glass. “Leave it. I’m going to need more alcohol for this.” With a sigh and longing look at his drink, he left it in my hands.
“Are you drunk?”
“Not nearly enough.” I plainly stated before drinking some more of Felix’s martini. My face soured. I forgot he liked gin. Jisung laughed as I put the drink on the bartop. 
“Look. I think you and I should go out.”
“And I think you should jump off a cliff. Preferably one the size of your ego.”
“Ouch.” He said with an unaffected smile.  His eyes darted to a girl walking by us, but he quickly diverted his attention back to me. I tried not visibly throw up in my mouth at the action. “Let’s hang out this week.”
“Sorry; not into late-night booty calls since...well...ever.”
He sighed and ran a hand through his brown hair, a habit of his I had picked up on. I couldn’t decide if it was out of frustration or nerves. “Come on. I’m not that bad.” 
“Your reputation says otherwise.” 
“I could say the same about you.”
He smirked when I fell silent. My fingers played with the rim of the martini glass. I hated that he totally won that argument. 
“I’ll make you a deal,” His words made me look up and quirk an eyebrow. “For the next two months, you get dinner with me twice a week and we text once a day.” 
“I’m not going on a dinner date with you. I have zero time. I have to bring home my costume work as it is.”
“I never said it was a date. I just want to get to know you, Y/n.” Jisung chuckled and adjusted the clasp of my necklace, making me freeze. “We don’t have to go out to eat. I’m sure it’s hard to focus on work with a theatre major as a roommate. You can come over and I’ll order take out.” I had to admit that the offer sounded tempting. I loved Lia but she could be loud as fuck when prepping for a show. 
“Still low key sounds like a date.” 
“I swear I will not touch you unless you ask me to.” He winked and I rolled my eyes. “And you will ask me to. Eventually.” A heavy and anger filled sigh left my lips and Jisung leaned away. I honestly hadn’t noticed he had gotten closer.
“Lia is going to think something is up. Felix is for sure going to think I’m sleeping with you. And Seungmin...”
“You aren’t dating Seungmin are you?” 
He smiled when I shook my head no. “Anyway, there is no way I’m telling my friends I am hanging out with you.” He shrugged and sipped more on his drink. I was starting to feel a little bit of the alcohol’s effect. 
“I’m chill with that. So, you bring over your costume...stuff...on Monday and we can order in and get to know each other.” I shrugged and gave him a small nod. Jisung smiled in victory. 
“You do know I’m not going to let you walk away from this conversation looking that happy.”
“And how do you propose you fix that?” 
“I was thinking either a slap or a drink.” Jisung laughed and downed the rest of his drink, I assumed Jack and Coke, like the night before. He motioned with his fingers and tapped his chest. 
“Give me your best shot, gorgeous.” His willingness made me laugh, genuinely. “Although, I would prefer not to have a huge red mark on my cheek.” 
I nodded sarcastically. “Oh. Of course. We can’t damage the precious merchandise.” He groaned when I pinched his cheek. To be honest, I could not believe I was having a nice casual conversation with Han Jisung, 3RACHA’s legendary fuckboy.
“Well then, I’ll see you on Monday. I’ll be at the Shop.”
“I’ll see you then, gorgeous.” 
I rolled my eyes and picked up Felix’s martini. “ASSHOLE!” I yelled before tossing the drink in Jisung’s face. “Wow, that was really fun,” I whispered with a smile before walking away to my friends. 
“Y/N THAT WAS MY DRINK!! NO! MY ALCOHOL!” Felix said, fake crying.
Jisung’s POV
The gin stung my eyes and Y/n was kind of blurry as she walked away, but I could hear the smile in her voice. This was ironically the first time I had let a girl toss a drink in my face. AND FUCK I WOULD NEVER LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN. 
I wiped my face and stumbled away from the bar, trying not to get even more liquor in my eye as I followed the laughter of my supposed ‘friends’ in our usual booth. 
“And the King has struck out yet again,” Changbin said as I sat down. Chan laughed but handed me a napkin to wipe my stinging face. A couple strands of my hair fell wet in front of my eyes. “What is this? The third time you been denied by Y/n?” Bin laughed and drank from his (probably) fifth beer of the night. 
“Han, I hate to say it. But I am so looking forward to seeing you in lingerie accepting your diploma.”
“I wouldn’t get ahead of yourself, Hyunjin.” All eyes turned to me as I blinked wildly. My vision was just starting to come back. I looked over to Y/n and her friends. Felix was chiding her about destroying his drink and Lia was high fiving her for throwing it. 
“...But she threw a martini in your face. I think that qualifies failure in every book I’ve ever read.” Hyunjin scoffed. Little did he know I had Y/n exactly where I wanted her. Soon she would be eating out of my hands. She would be begging for me to sleep with her before she even knew it herself.
Y/n’s POV
Three weeks had passed and I had been drowning in work. Though I hated to admit it...Jisung was the only thing keeping me sane. He had been a really good friend to me for the past few weeks. Lia was the only one who knew about my little dinner rendezvouses with Jisung. And I was correct in the fact that I had been subject to her relentless teasing. 
“Are you sure you guys aren’t dating?”
“We are not dating. We are just getting dinner twice a week, getting to know each other, not seeing other people casually, and maybe some.....flirting-- AND OH MY GOD HE TRICKED ME. WE’RE DATING.”
Lia laughed at my realization. I threw down the dress I was working on for Lia’s finale scene. The sound of beads hitting the floor rung throughout the dorm. “What are you gonna do about it?” Lia questioned, adjusting herself on the couch.
“I’m going to go over there and question the shit out of his ass.”
“Hell yeah! Text me!” She cheered as I grabbed my keys and ran out the door. 
I slammed my car door and stomped up the stairs of Jisung’s apartment building. A million angry thoughts ran through my mind as I stormed down the hall to his apartment. Without another thought, I burst through the front door, which was oddly...unlocked. 
“HAN MOTHER FUCKING JISUNG! YOU TRICKED ME INTO DATING YOU AND I-”
I froze taking in the scene in front of me. Jisung stood wide-eyed shirtless and holding a bottle of water, sweat dripping off his forehead. Another boy, who I recognized as Chan from 3RACHA, dressed in a tank top and sweats was seated on the couch, his face full of surprise at my entrance.
“Oh- uh.....sorry...I’ll just come back when you have...clothes.”
“No, it’s fine! I was just leaving anyway. Thanks for going to the gym with me Han.” Chan grabbed his jacket and exited in the most polite power walk he could manage. Though not without giving Jisung a thumbs up and then shutting the door.
“So how long did you think you were gonna get away with this?” He smirked and opened the water bottle. I was struggling to look anywhere but his tan chest. He obviously noticed. “Oh my god. Would you please put a shirt on!” He chuckled and came closer to me.
“What? Do I make you nervous?” He looked me up and down with dark eyes. My heart pounded in my chest. “Look, I know you’re mad. But, you can’t tell me that you didn’t have fun hanging out with me. Can you?”
“No,”
“And you can’t say that you aren’t at least the tiniest bit attracted to me. Right?”
“I’m not...not attracted to you...”
Jisung smirked and slid his hand around my waist, pulling me so our chests brushed against each other. “That’s not a straight answer.” He smiled at my lack of response. Jisung was clearly enjoying this.
“Well- you’re...not a... straight answer.”
Jisung laughed and let go of me. “But, seriously Y/n. I don’t know about you, but I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you these past few weeks and I really like you.” He took my hand in his and laughed, making his eyes turn into crescents. “So, why don’t we make it official? Y/n, let’s date.”
I blinked a few times before turning away from him. This was not normal. My hands came up to my temple, a sharp pain suddenly emitting from there. “You can’t be serious,” I said, turning back to Jisung. “There’s no way you like me. You like girls for one night stands. I’m not like that. So there is no-”
Jisung’s lips crashed against mine, his hands gripping my wrists gently. He’s kissing me. What do I do? As if reading my thoughts he pulled away just enough to look into my eyes and smile. “Y/n, don’t overthink it. Just let go for once. You’re with me.”
His hand slid down to my waist and his fingers tangled in my belt loops, pulling me closer. My brain was in overdrive. I hadn’t been kissed in so long. Maybe what I said to Felix wasn’t totally the truth. Maybe I had just been depressing my long starved sex drive. Jisung was really nice and I really liked him. What would be the harm in letting myself have fun with someone I actually like for once?
“Okay...so maybe I like you a little bit.” Jisung smiled and brushed away a piece of hair near my face, grazing my cheek. My hands slowly came up to rest on his chest, his warm skin radiating off heat. 
“So are we on the same page? You’re mine now?”
“Fine. I guess so,” I said with a laugh. Jisung smiled and kissed me again. His fingers dug into my hips and he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. 
Kissing Jisung made my head spin in the best way possible. Needing air for more than one reason, I pushed against his chest. “Hey, why don’t you go shower. I’m sure you need one after working out with Chan.” He smirked, his hands slowly moving lower than my waist. “No, I’m not showering with you.”
“Damn. Worth a shot. You wanna stay? I’ll order pizza.”
“Sounds good to me.” After kissing my cheek, Jisung turned and made his way to his bathroom. When the door closed I leaned against the couch for support. Keep it cool, Y/n. I have to remember to keep my guard up. Jisung can’t possibly just change overnight. While I want to trust him...something is holding me back. 
Hopefully, I’m just paranoid.
I rolled over in bed, not wanting to wake up. My hand brushed up against something cold. Opening my eyes, I saw my phone under my hand. The screen was still lit up and displayed a caller ID and call time of almost five hours. I smiled seeing Jisung’s name scrolling across the top. Did we really fall asleep on the phone? 
Picking up the phone, I heard the sounds of his small breaths and soft snores. “Jisung,” Another soft snore made me smile. We had only been dating officially about a week, but I was really enjoying my time with him. “Jisung?” 
“Mmph...I’m up...what’s happening?” He mumbled into the phone. Jisung must have fallen asleep on top of the phone. I laughed and sat up in bed, running a hand through my messy hair.
“I think we fell asleep on the phone, Ji.” His laugh could be heard over the phone.
“Ji?”
“What?” 
“That’s the first time you’ve called me something other than my name or an asshole.” I blushed and rolled out of bed. “Y/n L/n are you starting to like me?” Jisung asked, his voice rough from just waking up.  The gravely low tone sent a chill down my spine. 
“Well, we are dating. That’s what two people do when they like each other, dummy.” I leafed through my closet, tucking the phone between my ear and shoulder. He let out what sounded like a forced laugh. Maybe it was just my imagination. It was my brain searching for things to make me not trust him.
“You want to drop by the studio later? I should be working all day but it would be kinda cool to see you.” My ears picked up on the sound of his fingers racing across a keyboard. What could he be working on this early? 
No, Y/n. Don’t go there. I have to at least try and trust him. I can’t be nosy and wondering about everything in his life when we’ve only been going out a short time. 
“Uh, I can probably drop by around three. I have an exam today I can’t miss.”
“Okay. I’ll text you the studio number. See you later, gorgeous.” With that, he hung up the phone. I tossed the device on my bed and finished getting dressed. A ding notified me of a text. Glancing at it, I saw Jisung sent me the number of the studio number he would be working in and a heart. 
It almost set me a little on edge. I knew his personality. I even knew a few of the girls who had the unfortunate experience of falling into bed with him. It just seemed a little weird to me how doting he was with me when he was never like that with other girls. 
Maybe he really was trying to make a change? That couldn’t be impossible. Could it? People change. Most often in fairytales and movies, but it happens like 1% of the time, right? These thoughts swarmed through my head as I walked into my lecture hall. 
I sat in my usual seat, arriving about five minutes before class was set to begin. Looking up, I saw several sets of eyes staring at me; all belonging to different girls. Some had looked of pity, some disgust, but all looked slightly confused. Ignoring them, I pulled out my notes for a few more moments of study time.
“You’re the girl whose dating Han, am I right?”
I looked up to find a very pretty girl with blonde hair and big doe-like eyes. “Umm...yeah. Is there a problem or something?” She shook her head and sat down next to me with a smile. 
“Oh! No, not at all. I just had to see for myself that’s all. My name’s Momo. I’m a dance major. I have a mutual friend of Han’s, Hyunjin.”
I nodded, glancing from her to my paper. I wasn’t really used to this much attention during class. Usually, I just focused on the lecture or project and didn’t talk much. “Yeah, I know they are friends, but I don’t really know Hyunjin myself.”
She nodded and twirled a pen between her fingers. I started to wonder what her relationship was with the boys. She was obviously gorgeous and she seemed just like Jisung’s type. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had slept together before.”I’ve just heard so much about you. All those rumors are totally bogus by the way. I would love if we could be friends.”
She took my hand in hers with a bright and blindingly white perfect smile. Did she not know what personal space was? “Uh....sure. I guess that would be cool. I’m usually pretty busy with making costumes for the university’s musical.”
“Here! Take my number! We can go get coffee sometime. I’d love to hear all the juicy tea about the girl who finally got the famous Han Jisung to stop sleeping around.” Momo ripped a piece of paper from her perfectly organized agenda and wrote her number on it. The professor started speaking as she handed it to me. Holy shit it was scented! 
This day was just getting more and more confusing for me.
Jisung’s POV
The studio was freezing as per usual. Even bundled up in a beanie and hoodie I was cold, pulling the sleeves further down my hands. I watched the monitor carefully and adjusted the headphones over my ears. 
“Okay, Bin! You’re good.” Chan called to the boy in the booth after I gave him a thumbs up. “So, I take it things with Y/n are...good,” Chan asked hesitantly. The topic of Y/n was a sore subject for him so I was surprised he brought it up. 
“Oooooo We talking about the Snow Queen?” Changbin said plopping down on the couch near the wall. I turned in my chair to roll my eyes at him. “I’m taking that as a sign you haven’t gotten in her pants yet?”
“She’s honestly kind of a prude....well. Not a prude. But you know what I mean.” Chan shook his head at my words.  
Changbin threw a ball of paper at my head, making me send another glare his way. “Isn’t this the longest dry spell you’ve had. How long has it been?” I sighed pulling the headphones down around my neck.
“One month, five days, twelve hours, and twenty-two minutes.”
“You know it’s gross that you keep track like that,” Chan said taking a swig from his water bottle. “Y/n seems like a nice girl. It’s kind of sick you and Hyunjin using her like this.” I shrugged, not really caring.
“I mean, I guess. But, I would rather be $1,500 richer.”
“Just remember Y/n has feelings too.”
I nodded and turned back to the monitor looking at the track we just recorded. As if on cue, the door opened and Y/n’s voice could be heard greeting the other boys. 
“Hi!- Oh! Sorry, I didn’t expect anyone else. I’m Y/n. It’s nice to meet you.”
Turning, I saw her shaking hands with Changbin and Chan. “Y/n that’s Bin, and you’ve met Chan,” I said pointing to the boys. “Now you’ve met all of 3RACHA.” I pulled her hand, dragging her closer to my chair. Chan rolled his eyes when I pulled her down and kissed her cheek. The smile on her face did not go unnoticed by the boys.
“How was your exam?” I asked, playing with her fingers.
“It was okay. I passed for sure. A girl named Momo asked to get coffee with me. Apparently, she knows your friend Hyunjin.” My eyes went wide and I stood up, pulling her to my side with a nervous laugh. 
“Well, uh... I think we’ve all done enough work today. Y/n you wanna go get some boba or something. I’m hungry what about you? Bye guys!” Quickly I pushed her out the door and waved goodbye to the boys. 
I had my fingers crossed that Hyunjin was keeping his big mouth shut.
A month and a half. That’s how long I had left before I lost and was forced to be utterly humiliated in front of the entire university. Y/n and I had been dating for almost three weeks and hanging out for longer. I had to make a move tonight. 
My friend Minho had hooked me up with some tiny night vision camera that I had hidden all around my apartment. I knew Y/n was starting to trust me more, so this was the opportune time. She was coming over any minute now. I checked my reflection in the mirror and ran my hands through my hair. 
$1,500 here I come.
A knock bounced off the walls of my apartment. I checked the time. 8:30 pm. She was late by about forty-five minutes, which was not usual for her. What was it she always said? Early is on time and on time is late? Some weird theater shit like that. 
Something was up.
I rushed to the door and opened it to find Y/n standing at my doorstep. She gave me a tired smile and kissed my cheek in greeting. She looked like she felt awful. “Hi, Ji! Sorry, I’m late. Felix bailed on me so I had all this extra work to do for the musical and I have a semester project due this week-”
“Y/n what’s wrong?” She sighed and collapsed onto the couch. Sitting next to her I could see the concealer under her eyes attempting to hide the dark shadows. She never wore makeup unless she was going out. I was surprised even remembered that. “You can tell me anything, gorgeous.” She smiled when I took her hand. 
This might be better than I thought. Comfort her. Get the proof I need. Shove it in Hyunijn’s face. I could tell she was deciding whether or not to trust me. If it was something small she would tell me no problem.
But... maybe this was something bigger. 
“I’m just...really stressed.” She said, pushing her hair away from her face. I could see the wall she had slowly building itself back up. There was pain behind her eyes. She was hurting. Why did that make me sad?
“That’s not all this is.” I turned towards her fully, giving her my complete attention. She crossed her legs up on the couch and stared at her fingers. When I lifted her chin I saw tears on the brink of falling from her eyes.
“I just... feel like...- nevermind it’s stupid.” She shook her head and looked around my apartment. She tried to laugh it off but frowned when she saw my face. Y/n let out a shaky breath when I took her hands in mine, resting them in her lap. 
We sat in silence for a few minutes. Just sitting across from each other on the couch. She seemed to be working up the courage to tell me something.
“Nothing I ever do...seems to be...enough.” I looked at her, waiting for her to continue. “I work my ass off. All the time. But, it feels like I can’t do anything right lately. Not enough for my mom. Not enough for my teachers. Certainly not enough for Tech Recruiters. I just feel like I’m falling short on everything I do. And I’m tired. I just want to be enough for someone. But, who am I kidding? Nobody likes me. I’m Seoul University’s Arctic Bitch, right? I’m too coldhearted and selfish to get anywhere in life, let alone convince any theatre company to hire me so I can pay off my student loans. I’m just so fucking tired of feeling this way. Sorry for whining. I know you probably had other plans for tonight.” 
She wiped the tears from her cheeks and stared out the living room window. “Hey,” I said pulling her attention back to me. Surprisingly, she let me reach up and wipe a tear from her cheek. “Look at me,” Reluctantly Y/n met my eyes. “You are more than enough for me.” She looked down and smiled, wiping more tears on her sleeve.
“Really?”
“Really.” I ran my thumb over her knuckles and smiled at her. It took a lot for her to open up to me like that. “You have just been bottling this up haven’t you?” She nodded and wiped another tear, before looking back up at me. Her eyes were still beautiful even when she was crying. “I do that too. It’s a habit we should both fix. Could you talk to Lia? Or Felix?”
She shook her head and started playing with my fingers. I started to like the feeling of her smaller hands in mine. “Lia has her own stuff to worry about. Her dad keeps pressuring her to join an entertainment company. And Felix...well Felix means well, but...” I was relieved to see her smile again. Her laugh was contagious. 
“Yeah, I get it. Kind of like Changbin and Chan. They mean well, but they don’t understand sometimes.”
She nodded and played with one of the rings on my right hand. “Thank you for listening. It really means a lot that I can trust you like this.”
“You trust me?”
“I never thought I would say that but... I would never have told Felix that and he is my best friend.”She reached up a cupped my cheek. Her hands were warm and inviting. I stared into her eyes no longer seeing hurt behind her E/c orbs. 
“You’re beautiful. You know that?” I said without thinking. My eyes widened and I pulled away from her touch. I had never said anything like that. Usually, everything I said to Y/n had a purpose or plan behind it. But, I just spoke without thinking. 
Y/n smiled, her eyes turning even brighter. She leaned forward and kissed me. Something about this kiss felt different than the times I had kissed her before. My heart started to race and goosebumps crawled over my skin. I smiled when her hands pulled me closer to her, tangling her fingers through my hair.
A sigh escaped my chest when her teeth grazed over my lip. She pulled away only for a second to catch her breath before coming back to me. I pulled away when she threw her leg over my lap and straddled me. “What are you doing?” I asked as she kissed from my lips down to my jaw. It was exciting not to be in control for once. 
“Showing you how much you mean to me,” She whispered before kissing my lips again. Instinctively, my hands gripped her waist wanting for no space left between my body and hers. I felt close to Y/n in a different way. I feel like I had been in this exact position with other girls, but with her it was different. Something about kissing her like this felt intimate. Like it was just for us to share. 
Fuck. The cameras. They were still recording all over the apartment.
“Uh- Y/n...” I said pulling away from her, my hands planted firmly on her hips. “Are you sure you want to do this, gorgeous?” My eyes widened as she nodded and continued to drag her lips across mine. “Because we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” Please tell me to stop. If you don’t I don’t know what I’ll do with myself. 
“Ji, I want this. Do you?”
“You have no idea.”
“Good. Do you trust me?” Y/n asked with a mischievous smile. I nodded watching her eyes twinkle in the low light of my apartment. She dragged her fingers down my chest and pulled at the hem of my shirt. As soon as the fabric was over my head and flung somewhere in the living room she smashed her lips onto mine. 
My thoughts were running a mile a minute. How was I supposed to turn off all the cameras without her knowing? After seeing her in pain, I couldn’t hurt her like that. An idea popped in my head. Wrapping my arms around her waist I pulled her up and carried her, pushing her back against the nearest wall. 
Her legs tightened around my waist, holding herself up. She looked down at me with hooded eyes before kissing me again. With one hand I kept her steady while the other searched the bookshelf next to me for the camera I put in the living room. Feeling the metal and plastic, I quickly turned it around blocking its view. 
There should just be two more in my bedroom. “Ji,” Y/n moaned into my lips. She was driving me crazy. I was already more worked up from this than I had ever been with any other girl. She giggled when I carried her through the bedroom door and pressed her up against the wall. “You know...I haven’t done this in a pretty long time...” Her words were breathy and cut off when she joined her lips back to mine.
“You could have fooled me.”
My mind was kind of in a haze. All I could think about was Y/n. I couldn’t think straight with her hands all over me. Where did I put the second camera again? Her lips trailed down to my neck sending my brain and body into overdrive. Come on, Han. Focus. 
The desk! Then the third was by my nightstand. I moved us over slowly, hoping she wouldn’t notice. I wanted to touch her so badly. But, I couldn’t betray her trust after she opened up to me like that. Joining my lips with hers, I felt blindly around the table for the small device. After I found it, I tucked it behind the monitor. 
“Are you sure, gorgeous?” I asked one more time looking into her eyes.
“Jisung, stop asking or I swear I’m gonna-”
“You’re gonna what?”
“I don’t know. Just kiss me damn it.” She smiled when I smashed my lips onto hers. Her fingers pulled at my hair as I dragged my lips down her jaw. She joined our lips as I picked her up and carried her to the bed. The bed dipped as she laid on the mattress. Before I could reach for the nightstand she pulled me over, straddling me on the bed again. 
I tried to keep my brain clear as she attacked my neck and chest with her lips. Knowing she was distracted, I grabbed the camera and threw it across the room wanting this to be done. Her head turned at the sound, but I pulled her back to my lips. 
“You drive me crazy,” I whispered, reaching down and pulling at the hem of her shirt. My lips latched onto every bare piece of skin I could find, wanting to feel every part of her. I was ready to be with her, in more ways than I had thought.
Y/n’s POV
I lay in the dark, staring up at the ceiling. Jisung laid beside me his arm slung across my stomach and soft snores leaving his lips. I smiled seeing him next to me. I had slept for a few hours but like usual, I had woken up in the middle of the night unable to fall back asleep. 
Shifting onto my side, I looked at Jisung. He looked peaceful in his sleep. There was always something active about him when he was awake. Like he was never still. Seeing him in a state of calm was intriguing. My hand brushed the side of his cheek. A strand of his brown hair fell over his eyes, so I gently pushed it back and softly moved my hands through his locks.
Jisung let out a little hum in his sleep, making me smile. I started to pull away my fingers but Jisung’s hand shot up to keep it there, startling me. “What’s wrong, gorgeous?” Jisung mumbled, placing my hand back in his messy hair. 
“I can’t sleep. Don’t worry about me.” I said quietly going back to playing with his soft brown tresses. He shook his head, brows furrowing in the cutest way. His fingers latched themselves onto my wrist, rubbing his thumb against my skin. 
“I’m not sleeping unless you are,” He whispered, obviously half asleep. 
“Shhh. Ji, go back to sleep.” Instead of complying he tugged me into his bare chest and started tracing soothing patterns on my lower back. In all honestly just that alone was making me just a little sleepy. My eyes were starting to droop, just laying in his arms, but my brain was still wide awake. 
Suddenly, my ears picked up on the soft sound of Jisung singing. It was slow and gentle, his voice a little rough from sleep, but beautiful all the same. His voice was like honey, soothing my entire body. My fingers started to slow their movements as I tucked myself into Jisung’s chest. 
I finally fell into a deep sleep listening to Jisung softly sing to me.
Light streamed through the window, hitting me straight in the face. I groaned and tried to roll over. My brows furrowed when something stopped me. My tired eyes opened more to see Jisung still sounds asleep, holding onto me like a teddy bear. 
Sensing my movements, Jisung’s eyes cracked open and smiled. “Good morning, gorgeous,” His voice was scratchy and low, sending chills down my spine. Jisung pushed himself up on his elbow and hovered over me with a drowsy smile. 
“Morning, Ji,” 
He genuinely smiled down at me and leaned down pressing his lips against mine. I felt him smile when I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Do you have class this morning?” He asked against my lips, which were most likely swollen from last night. Jisung himself had several darkening marks on his neck and collarbone. 
“Not until tomorrow. Do you?” 
“I was supposed to go record with Chan and Bin.”
“Supposed?”
“Like hell, I am going to leave you looking this beautiful in my bed,” Jisung said pressing his lips down my neck. “You want a shower? I’m gonna call Chan and tell him I’m not coming.” I nodded and pulled him up to my lips one more time.
“Thank you for last night, Ji. For everything.” 
He smiled and kissed my cheek. “Feel free to borrow some of my clothes,” Jisung said with a smirk before rolling over and grabbing his phone on the nightstand. I grabbed a hoodie from his closet while he was distracted with his phone and headed to the bathroom.
Jisung’s  POV
“Chan, I’m in deep shit,” I whispered into the phone. I checked to make sure Y/n was out of the room. Chan scoffed over the line.
“Han. It is way too early for this. Did you accidentally email your professor a pornhub link again?” 
“What no!” Chan sighed. “Look, Y/n’s over here.” He started freaking out over the phone. I sighed letting his panic play out. 
“Oh no, no, no. You are not dragging me into this. Y/n is a nice girl. I want nothing to do with your and Hyunjin’s sick bet-”
“I think I’m starting to really like her. Like a lot.”
There was silence on the other side of the line. I decided that he was probably waiting for more information. Or he had passed out. Either was a probable response from Chris. “But, she’s at your apartment? Han, it’s like ten in the mornin-...You didn’t.” He took my silence as confirmation. “How could you? You said you like her!”
“I didn’t technically. I had these cameras set up, but I turned them off after she opened up to me and stuff started to happen.”
“YOU SET UP ACTUAL CAMERAS TO FILM HER?”
Chan screamed so loud I had to pull the phone away from my ear. Even then I could still hear him. “Did you hear the part where I said I turned them off. I have no proof....and honestly....I’m starting to question if I want any.”
“Wow. Good for you. You’ve had personal growth. Whoop-de-doo.” 
“Hey. I am asking for advice, not sarcasm.” I said with a sigh. I ran a hand through my hair, feeling it sticking up in weird places. “What should I do? Chan...I really like Y/n, but I’ve been lying to her up until now.”
“You’ve got to tell her the truth eventually.”
“But, what if she hates me. I don’t think I could handle hurting her.” Chan sighed again. I could practically see his face. The guy probably just woke up and I was putting all this stress on him. 
“I don’t know what to tell you,”
“I get it. Just don’t tell anyone about what we talked about, okay? At least until I figure out how to tell Y/n. I’m gonna stay here and think about it.” With that, I hung up the phone and laid back in bed. My fingers massaged my temple, feeling a sharp pain there. 
Did I really want to keep up this bet?
Y/n’s POV
A weel later Jisung and I were doing even better than we were before. We were actually going out on dates and also...staying in and doing...other things. Jisung had invited me to come and see 3RACHA perform tonight at a local club, so Felix was fussing over my outfit. 
“Felix, I am not fitting into that dress.”
“You can squeeze!”
“A Polly pocket couldn’t fit into that tiny ass thing!” 
“Come on, Y/n! Be my Barbie!” Felix said chasing me around the costume shop with a tiny piece of white fabric that barely passed the social standard of being a dress. Eventually, he tackled me and wrestled me into the tight-fitting dress. 
“I feel naked.”
“Oh, please. He’ll love it.” Felix said throwing a pair of heels at me. I looked longingly at my pair of old tennis shoes. “If you aren’t wearing pumps at least wear some boots. We are clubbing after all.”
“Lix, we aren’t clubbing. We are watching Han perform.” 
“Same difference.”
I sighed and slipped on the black heeled boots Lix threw on my workstation and grabbed the brightly colored graffiti jacket that Jisung ‘left’ at my dorm. He had been leaving more and more of his clothes lying around my room. I wasn’t complaining.  
I drove both of us to the club and covered my ears entering the loud establishment. 3RACHA were already up on stage and performing a song so we pushed our way to the front. All the boys looked a little tipsy and had beers up on stage with them. Jisung saw me in the crowd and blew a kiss in my direction sending the whole crowd into a frenzy.
The show was incredible, though after I couldn't seem to get anywhere near Jisung. All the boys were hounded with fans and the crowd around them was too big to get through. “This is ridiculous. I can’t even get to my own boyfrien-” My world stopped when I looked over in Jisung’s direction by the bar. I swear everything happened in slow motion.
A girl with long platinum blonde wavy hair was draped all over Jisung’s arm. He talked to her while drinking yet another beer. I watched as she leaned up and cupped his cheeks, bringing him down for a sloppy kiss. The crowd cheered and I began to feel dizzy. “Y/n,” I heard Felix say, grabbing onto my elbow.
“I’ve gotta get out of here.”
The bass was so loud I could feel it pounding against my brain as I pushed through the crowd of dancing bodies. I heard someone calling my name, but I didn’t really want to talk to anybody. I just needed air. I needed to think.
“Y/n!”
I finally broke through the crowd and made my way outside the club. Where was my car? Where the fuck did I park? I ran a hand through my hair and looked around me trying to find my car in the see of dimly lit vehicles. 
“Y/n!” A hand grabbed my arm and turned me around. Jisung stood before me, clearly drunk with lipstick all over his face. “Y/n, baby, it’s not what you think.” His voice, which had become my favorite sound,  was slurred and broken up.
“Not what I think? Tell me, then. What was it?”
“Mina, she was drunk. She kissed me, but it didn’t mean anything. You know I only have feelings for you.” Did I know that? There was always this little thought in the back of my mind no matter how much I trusted Jisung that told me I was just another number in his playbook.
“Yes, she did kiss you. But that is a fucking cop-out. Because there is a reason she felt like that was an option.” 
I tried to push away the tears that threatened to fall. Jisung broke looking at me. I wanted nothing more than for him to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay, but I didn’t know if I could trust him right now. I could tell it hurt him when he reached out and I backed away, tears inevitably falling down my cheeks.
“Don’t cry. I die when you cry.”
“Jisung you can’t do that!” I said watching a tear drip down his cheek.
“What?” 
“You can’t make me love you when I’m supposed to hate you!” I said slapping his shoulder and letting the tears flow freely.  Not hesitating, he wrapped me up in his arms, even when I tried to push him away. He let me cry on his shoulder and beat on his chest until it physically hurt to breathe.
“You’re right. It is a cop-out.” His hand came up and rubbed my back like he had done every night he stayed with me. “Y/n, I’m so sorry I let it happen. I don’t know what I was thinking.” My knuckles turned white, gripping onto his shirt. 
“Jisung, I’m tired of being hurt.”
“You are my everything, gorgeous.” He said lifting up my chin. I hated crying and feeling like this. It just sucked not being able to trust him when I wanted to be with him so badly. 
“How do I know I’m not just another random hookup for you?” 
“Because...” My heart dropped when he couldn't say anything.
“That’s the answer I needed. Thanks.” 
I started to walk away but he grabbed my arm, pulling me back into his chest. Jisung smashed his lips on mine, desperation, and passion filling the kiss making my knees go weak.
“That’s how.” He said, pulling away.
I woke up the next morning, in Jisung’s bed light streaming through the window. I really should get him curtains. I smiled thinking back to last night. Jisung promised to show me that I wasn’t just another girl to him. And boy did he. I had never felt so loved than when I was with Jisung last night. 
I grabbed a big shirt of his that was lying around and slipped it over my head. My feet carried me out into his living room, where bright sunlight illuminated his only slightly messy apartment. A note on the coffee table caught my eyes.
Morning gorgeous,
Went out to get coffee and breakfast for us. 
I’ll be back soon, so sit tight. 
Ji <3
I smiled at his handwriting and the heart he left me. Lifting my legs up, I got comfortable on the couch and waited for Jisung to get back. The sound of a notification filled the room. Did I leave my phone in here? 
I searched for the device and found it face-up on the counter. It said I had one voicemail. Swiping on the notification the voicemail started playing. The voice of a boy I didn’t recognize filled the living room as I brought the phone back over to the couch. “Hey, it’s Hyunjin,” Oh. This must be Jisung’s phone. I was about to put it back until I heard the boy continue.
“Just reminding you, you’ve got two weeks to get into Y/n’s pants or you lose the bet. Your reputation as campus King is on the line, bro. Oh and don’t forget the cash prize.” 
I couldn't move.
Han  Jisung’s POV
The coffee line took forever, but I finally got my order and excited the shop. I was trying to balance the cup holder in one hand and hold the door open for another customer when something slammed into my shoulder. “Hey! Watch it!” 
“Han?”
I looked up to see Hyunjin with a sly grin on his handsome face. “Hyunjin?” He clapped me on the back and helped me hold the door. “What’s up, man?” I asked when we were both standing outside. 
“I actually just called you like twenty minutes ago.”
“Oh, sorry I think I left my phone at my apartment.” I shrugged, trying to move along the conversation. Hyunjin was the last person I wanted to see. Especially after what happened last night with Y/n. “What about?”
“Just to remind you that you’ve got two weeks until you officially lose our bet. Don’t worry, I left a message so you can’t forget.”
My heart dropped to my stomach. My phone was still in the apartment with Y/n. “Oh, shit,” I muttered, eyes going wide. Hyunjin seemed to pay my reaction no mind. He was still stuck in his own world like usual.
“Whose the other coffee for by the way?” 
Fuck. She was gonna hear the message. No. She can’t hear it from Hyunjin. That asshole is going to ruin any chance I have left with her. Dropping the coffee and take away bag, I started sprinting across campus back to my apartment.
“HAN, WHAT THE FUCK?” 
I prayed that Y/n was still asleep. Maybe I could get there before she woke up, delete the message and just put this whole bet thing behind me. Doing Hyunjin’s punishment seemed like nothing compared to losing Y/n. I burst through the lobby doors and spotted my landlord already in his office. 
“Mr.Kang!”
“Good lord! Mr. Han, what can I do for you?”
“Uh...my girlfriend- the uh woman I came back with last night. Has she left yet?” I said completely out of breath. He stared at me like I was insane. 
“Not to my knowledge. I didn’t even realize you were serious about someone.” 
Before he even finished his sentence, I was pushing myself off his doorframe and racing to the elevator. I slammed the button and watched the elevator come down but it was taking too long for me. “Fuck this.” Racing up the stairs my heart pounded in my chest. Would she even still be there? Or would she just leave and not give me a second chance?
“Y/n?” I called halfway down the hall. I could care less about my neighbors at this point. “Y/n?” I burst through the door, knowing I left it unlocked. I let out a sigh seeing Y/n seated on the couch. My face fell, when I saw the dried tears on her cheeks. Without looking at me, she reached in front of her and played a recording on my phone. Hyunjin’s voice filled the room. 
“Hey, it’s Hyunjin. Just reminding you, you’ve got two weeks to get into Y/n’s pants or you lose the bet. Your reputation as campus King is on the line, bro. Oh and don’t forget the cash prize.”
She stood up and kept her stare on the phone. She looked broken.
“Are you going to say something?” Her voice cracked like she was holding back tears.
All I could do was cross to her and take her in my arms. I held onto her, cradling her head against my chest, my heart still racing from the mild panic attack that was just now catching up to me. 
“Thank god you’re still here.” 
I felt a few tears fall from my cheek and into her hair. “Jisung...was that all I was to you? Some payout? A way to keep your title of Biggest Fuckboy on campus?” She pushed away from me and walked to the other side of the room. The distance felt like miles.
I could feel my heart breaking. “What-no. Maybe at the beginning, but it doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t matter? It doesn’t matter, Jisung? Yes. Yes, it does matter. You can’t keep lying to me and expect me to forgive you every time.” She yelled at me from across the room. I had never seen her this hurt or angry and it killed me.
“Y/n, please. Listen to me.”
“Listen to you? Your buddy Hyunjin just told me the whole fucking thing!”
“No! You have to hear it from me! What he said- it’s all turned around and screwed up. That’s why I wanted to be the one to tell you.” She backed away as I came closer. 
“Why didn’t you just tell me last night?”
“Because I was afraid! I was afraid none of this would be real and this feeling would go away; that the meaning would be lost.”
“The meaning of what, Jisung?”
I grabbed her hand in desperation, scared she might walk out the door at any moment. “This. Right here. Us. You and me.”
“Jisung, there is no you and me anymore.” She said pulling away and walking back towards the bedroom. I raced forward and blocked the doorway. “Jisung, move.” She said pushing against my chest.
“No.”
“Jisung! I want out! I can’t love someone I can’t trust.” She pushed through me with as much force as she could manage. I watched as she picked up the dress she was wearing last night from the floor. She tore off my shirt that she was wearing and threw it in my face. Y/n struggled to put the white dress back on before grabbing her shoes and trying to walk past me. 
“Y/n! Don’t leave, please.”
“How much was I worth Jisung? How much money were you going to get for fucking me?”
“$1,500. But, I didn’t take it! I didn’t even tell them that I slept with you because I didn’t care about the bet anymore. Y/n, please believe me. I will get down on my knees if you want me to.” She just stared at me in the doorway. “I will do anything to get you to stay.” Another silence passed. I felt small under her gaze. She had every right to be furious at me. 
“Kneel.”
Quickly, I got down on my knees. I had never moved faster in my entire life. I looked up at her, sharing the same tear-stained cheeks. To my surprise, she got on her knees with me and wrapped her arms around my neck. 
“Please, don’t hurt me anymore, Ji.”
Nodding I wrapped my arms around her and pulled Y/n into my lap. “I’m so sorry...I’m so sorry. I love you, Y/n. I’m sorry.” I cried into her shoulder. We just sat on the floor of my bedroom, holding onto each other, waiting for what would happen next.
Y/n’s POV
The zipper on Jisung’s graduation gown was being a real pain in the ass. It had gotten stuck two inches from the top. They had already called my name and given me a diploma, so I came to sit with my boyfriend. He fidgeted while I sat in his lap.
“Man, this thing is tight.” 
“Well, keep in mind I didn’t make it for you. I made it for Lia. Also, do you know how many girls would love their waist to fit into this?” I said slapping his shoulder. 
“I think I’d rather be able to breathe.”
“Beauty is pain, Ji.” I said as I messed with his zipped. He nervously tapped on my thigh and waist as he listened to the Dean call out the names of students. “Damn this zipper.” My years of costume study were now being defeated by the zipper on my boyfriends graduation robe. “Ah-ha!” The zipper finally complied and moved up to the top of the robe.
“Han Jisung. Music Production Major.” The Dean called out over the speakers.
“Knock em dead, Ji,” I said kissing his cheek. Jisung smiled and walked up to the stage. Before the Dean could hand him his diploma Jisung unzipped his robe and the entire student body was filled with gasps and laughs. Jisung proudly presented himself wearing the red and black lingerie and corset I had made for Lia in the musical. It left nothing to the imagination, especially below the bodice. 
The look on the Dean’s face was priceless and Jisung twirled in front of him and laughed along with our graduating class. Jisung shook the Dean’s hand and took his diploma. Before he walked off the stage he turned around pushed his robe aside and slapped his own ass receiving many cheers and wolf whistles from the students. 
I laughed as he came back to his seat. He gave me a great big kiss and pulled me back onto his lap. “That was a piece of cake,” Jisung said, wrapping his arms around my stomach and resting his chin on my shoulder. I kissed his forehead with a big grin.
“I have never been so attracted to a man in lingerie.”
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