#you know this modern fic I'm totally not working on yet honest

[tiger-moran]

I need a working title for this modern fic

[neeseeart]

My BooRai WIP stats

So. As of right now, the number of written BooRai fan works I've published is...... zero. I recently announced my angst fic I Can Stop The World, with another reveal planned in a few weeks, but I've yet to actually publish anything 😭

Last night I was backing up all my WIPs, and I decided to go through and reorganize everything. I moved everything into new folders and checked their word counts. I was a little surprised by the numbers to be honest. Especially when compared to this word count update from 5 months ago: [link]

I thought it would be fun to post my stats so you can see how much I've been working on, even though I haven't started posting yet.

As of last night:

Total number of Google docs: 34 Outlined fics: 21 (mostly longfics) Comic WIPs: 7 Completed fics: 1 (a one-shot I'm not ready to post yet 😭) Ideas yet to be fleshed out: 12 Total BR fanfic word count: 517,362 Words this week: about 25,000

ICSTW (main angst fic, post-canon):

196,871 words 6 docs

SSATSF (Modern AU, upcoming reveal):

125,474 words 3 docs

Folklore AU (started recently):

23,289 words 2 docs

Comics (text only)

80,795 words 7 docs

Reference docs (OC masterlist, headcanons, language dictionary, etc.)

9149 words 5 docs

Okay, pause real quick. The first BooRai fic I started writing is a fluff comic (briefly mentioned here) that I started in late 2022. It was my only project until the day I started writing ICSTW in June 2023. Then I exploded in ideas and here we are. So, if I exclude that first comic's word count of 36,190...

...Then the total word count of BooRai fanfic I've written in the past 7 months is 481,172 words. That's about 2217 words per day, and 15,522 words per week.

Now. This all just a bunch of numbers. Numbers don't mean the fics are any good. I value quality over quantity, so you can see why I haven't published anything yet. The ideas are all there! Tons and tons of dialogue is written. Detailed lore is laid out. Languages have been constructed! But the chapters themselves are not written. I don't write chronologically, and my stories are very elaborate. So even my main two fics, at 196k and 125k, are nowhere near complete. I haven't even finished fleshing out the early chapters 😭

You might be looking at this and thinking like.... "yeah bro you're not gonna finish most of those fics. It's not happening. You're gonna burn out." Mayhaps! I have a tendency to overdo things, and sometimes I overwhelm myself by making things bigger and more complicated than they need to be. But all in all, I like the way I create and I like having a few big projects and lots of tiny ones. I'm deeply invested in my major projects and I really do want to dedicate myself to publishing chapters in the next few months. But if I never finish them, that's okay too! The important thing is to enjoy making the thing... and I enjoy it immensely. Enough to write half a million words in 7 months, apparently

I've talked about my fic content to some irl people and they always respond with: "When the hell do you do all this? I literally never see you writing." In reality, yes they do. if you see me typing on my phone, I'm most likely writing. I kind of high-key spend 100% of my free time drawing and writing now. Which is a miracle after years of art block and creative sterility.

Another reason I wanted to share my numbers is that there are a lot of fellow AuDHD creators on this site, so there are bound to be at least a few of you who work just like I do. If you're one of those people, you probably know that it's easy to feel like the projects will never come to fruition. Don't lose heart!!! You have the strength to finish your projects at your own pace!!! And if you simply lack the will to finish, that's also okay! If you enjoy just writing down ideas without committing to a fully fleshed out work, that's a perfectly legitimate form of art and recreation. Godspeed my friends.

And as for the people who have been supporting my BR art and keeping track of my fic updates... You are the world and I am but a humble bean in service of your fancies. Thank you for your support. Here's a picture of me rereading my WIPs for the billionth time while y'all stand there and wait for me to start posting chapters:

(P.S. I have about 80 fic-related art WIPs on my tablet.)

(P.P.S. stay tuned for my fictional language dictionary!!)

[elsiebrayisgay]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you @purlturtle for the tag; i'm honored to be thought of! The questions!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

just one right now but i think it's extremely good! i worked very hard for a long time on it. more of these queer feelings (https://archiveofourown.org/works/43759465/chapters/110039971) is a college AU of phyrexian praetors sheoldred and elesh norn! i also have a second that is very soon to be posted once beta is finished!

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

currently 25,912 and yes i do know off the top of my head :3

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i don't know if i'll write more magic: the gathering but i would like to; beyond that baldur's gate 3 has had a huge impact on me in basically every creative work i do and i keep going back to it!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

there is only just the one i've posted but i will take the opportunity to talk more about more of these queer feelings! it spawned from my girlfriend and i talking about phyrexian high school/college AUs and the fact that magic doesn't have a lot of canon disabled characters; i thought (in my opinion) sheoldred would not be able-bodied in a human au and it is essentially an exploration of two characters who are brutal and terrifying but who get to learn vulnerability if they are just normal humans on earth.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i used to let my girlfriend and co-writer do all of this to remain aloof and cool but i've decided that everyone is cringe in the end and so every commenter will receive all my undying gratitude (as long as it keeps being a reasonable number.)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i think my current WIP, which is shadowzel ballet academy AU has a lot more potential for an angsty ending; shadowheart is pretty set from the start to be on a very limited clock to keep being able to dance and probably will not have any prospects to by the time it ends but i think negotiating the gap between expectations for the future and what reality brings you still has a lot of potential for growth and learning and self-acceptance so it's probably not going to be super brutal if i'm being honest. i like to give queer girls at least happy-ish endings if i can.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

in the middle of writing more of these queer feelings i decided i wanted the very end to be sheoldred and elesh norn, now happily girlfriends, saying they love each other but specifically because i want anyone who feels they relate to either character to know that they are loved and cherished if not immediately then at least through me, through the act of love of sharing parts of myself through my writing. the ending of that fic is about solidarity and love for queer women and disabled women and ND & mentally ill women. absolutely the most earnest happy ending i've ever written.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

i never have and hopefully never will but know this: if being a shadowzel blog means i am a karheart anti, i will take up arms in defense of what i believe is good and right.

9. Do you write smut?

haven't yet, probably won't, nothing against it, just isn't for me i don't think, for a number of reasons.

10. Do you write crossovers?

i find that a lot of my inspiration to write fic is in the intersection of a piece of media and the au i want to write. i don't know if college aus count as crossovers but while i haven't written anything including many media franchises, i think there is a transformation and a fitting-together of pieces that feels very similar in my great enthusiasm for a modern/period earth AU, which has been a lot of what i've written.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no but i would be kind of honored, honestly. if what i've written is so good that someone else tries to put their name on it, i'm flattered! (uh but please don't though it's still probably bad ;-; my girlfriend said she would beat you up if you stole my writing.)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

oh lord no, but the above answer times a thousand. if someone was to go to that effort i feel like i'd need to send them a special gift basket with seasonal fruits and everything.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes! more of these queer feelings was co-written from the very beginning with my now-girlfriend, and though i think we probably would have ended up together anyway by knowing each other, i don't think the writing process did anything at all to dissuade us from our mutual romantic interest.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

before bg3 i don't know if i would have had an answer, maybe like mailee or katara/yue or something but i didn't have particular ships i was super into. that being said, shadowzel has hit me full force and even when it isn't being nominated for goty those ladies are still going to be living rent-free in my head.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

i've been messing around with some wolfic (FFXIV player character, for those unaware) that is probably either just for me or only to inform my roleplay in that game; i have a document but it's probably never getting posted anywhere. still, i think about it and add things sometimes.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think images and ideas or concepts are my strong suit. i'll have ideas for characters or a scene or a description of something, and try to develop my writing around what i feel is a strong central idea.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

actual narrative structure and more traditional prose fiction skills are not where i developed my writing skills. my english literature education focused largely on poetry, and my extracurricular writing was almost all text-RP so there's a lot of stuff i haven't practiced.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i am a mostly monolingual american and while i have retained some french from speaking it at home with family and from school, it's conversational and jokes at best. that being said if i can get a « qui me frappe avec ce poisson ? » in anywhere i will absolutely try.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i don't want to talk about the atla OCs RP beyond "those happened, and for a lot of other fandoms as well" but more of these queer feelings was the first time i gave anything a serious go with the intention to produce something good enough i'd be proud to post it.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

i'm going to copy john darnielle and say of course i'm always the most invested in the new thing when i have something new i'm working on, so most of the thoughts i'm having are about hoping other people like shadowzel ballet AU because i'm proud of it, but queer feelings will always have a place in my heart. maybe it's trite but i think i've done a good job with the writing i've put serious effort into; i hope any readers think the same.