#you wanna [redacted] that old man so bad it makes you look stupid

[snekjin]

chi @ ott | 17 feb 2023

[know-its-for-the-better]

living w schlatt hcs

guys im down so bad this week and with today's p.o. unboxing i fear it only got worse. anyways i just had a bunch of thoughts ab what it would be like to live w schlatt while y'all are dating. so these are my hcs. (also i am like incredibly new to writing original material so lmk if this is any good fr)

-this is not the first or last time this will be said but this man is an ass grabber. as soon as he knows it's something you're okay with? he's doing it. not in public, bc in my head he's not big on PDA, but when you're at home? every time he passes by you it's a grab of the ass and a big cheesy grin and he sometimes even a kiss on the cheek

-again, not the first time anyone has mentioned this, but this man is giant. 6'4. so he's def a big fan of the hug from behind. he likes to tower over you and kiss the top of your head. whether you're cooking, cleaning, looking out the window, or admiring jambo on his cat tree; he will come up and squeeze you into a hug from behind with no warning.

-"toots, come here rq" just to ask for a kiss while he's working or editing. simply as motivation to keep going. he says "it's like a reward" and you happily oblige.

-since he doesn't really stream anymore, he doesn't play a lot of video games, but when he does, he lets you sit in his lap as long as you sit still and don't distract him... (obviously you do sometimes... not your fault you have needs and he looks so cute when he's focused...)

-the drunk chuckle sandwich episode had me thinking about you playing bartender for him and making him different drinks to try since he usually just drinks straight from the bottle. he would say some shit like "i'm ngl i didn't know you could make it taste that good." bc nobody ever really bothered to make him try different cocktails until you

-super domestic dancing in the kitchen to old music. duke ellington and etta james and all different kinds of jazz and old love songs, it doesn't matter bc he is spinning you around and kissing you softly as it plays in the background while he sings to you.

-not to be cringe but he would sooo be into that thing those couples do when the smaller partner says "uppies!" and then the other one picks them up. except it would just be a look you give him and putting your arms out with a grabby motion and he would know.(bc im sorry the thought of saying uppies makes me wanna gag) he would pick you up and carry you around like a koala with your legs wrapped around his torso AND he's happy to do it. but just at home bc like i said he's not really into pda.

-he would so take candid pics of you at golden hour. you'd just be in the living room looking out the window with jambo or {redacted} and admiring the sunset and next thing you know there's a disposable camera or the little girl camera right in your face. he would so say some stupid shit to get you to laugh and then snap the picture. but once he gets one, you force him to hop in the frame while holding the other cat so you can get a cute little family pic while the lighting is good. obviously, you made it your background within the next ten minutes. and he made his background the candid picture of you the second he got the pictures onto his phone.

ok so hi!! i hope these fed you a little im so incredibly new to this whole writing thing but this was a lot of fun for me so if you have any suggestions i think my ask box is open? idk how those work but im sure i can figure it out. thanks for reading i know i yapped quite a bit LMAO

[no-idea-what-imdoing]

Some quotes from the first term this year (we go in person but masks are required in my district) part one

It’s so weird they put shaggy and Velma together

They get smaller and smaller every year

Shut up that’s why y’all bonin

I’m anxious sometimes

If I was rich why would I live in Palatka

I don’t want to be rich I just want to be upper middle class

While you’re getting taxes we’re living on government money

We’ve been in school a day and you’ve already started 2 rumors about me

How far is six feet? Just take a 6 foot person and lay them down!

So how I tell if I’m 6 feet apart from someone I imagine my brother laying on the ground

What’s the best flavor of ice cream?

-chocolate peanut butter

Incorrect

Don’t eat the penis nut

*squeals* DONT TOUCH MY CHICKEN

What did you three do to your table mates?

We ate them

Now all we need is a bonfire

It’s too dang hot you got one up there Lucas *points at sun*

Your not the real Santa your just a fake

Get in the bag

Hurry up kid

You know what iconic thing George Washington said when they crossed the Delaware?

Happy birthday?

Get in the boat.

Tiktok bullying is real

As soon as I get in my car I’m whipping it out of here

Hey sexies

My signature does not count I’m a registered sex offender

T:How much do you like president trump with a 1 being you hate his gu-

S1:1.

S2: Is there anything lower than 1

Who do you have for math

…oh I’m not taking Pre-Calc

You’re in AICE Statistics? Are you crazy!

Maybe but I was put in it I didn’t choose it

Was last week the first week of school?

If I had just given birth and someone said aw the baby looks just like you I’d be so offended

S1:He added an E on the end

s2:OH like Tomato

S1: THATS NOT HOW TOMATO IS SPELLED

S2: *gasps* THERES A WIKEPEDIA PAGE ON COFOFEE

T: yes it was a very big deal

S3: anyone can make a Wikipedia page here I’ll make one right now Michael is stupid

S1: you should probably not speak for the rest of class

S1: Michael thought tomato was spelled with an E

S2: what did I ever do to you

S4: He’s just Vibin look he’s sitting in a chair enjoying the view

S3: why are they so small

T: would you like this old white man or this old white man

T2: I asked Mr. [redacted] and Mr.[redacted2] if GenZ still likes tie dye cause I heard it was cool again

S: if Mr. [redacted] thinks it’s cool it is he is a trendsetter

Eat your green bean bean dipstick

Rainbows are gay

I honestly forgot we were juniors that’s scary

S1:I hate it when people go slow on 100 you know you’re going slow when 3 semis pass you

S2:By slow do you mean the speed limit?

S1: yesss no one goes the speed limit on 100

S3: if you’re going the speed limit you’re going to slow that’s what I believe

That’s very scandalous

Yesss

*reveals ankles*

SeXy

Staff member on the announcements: Do not share your drinks and let others drink them this is just a PSA brought to you by common sense

T:Flip a coin it’ll achieve the same thing

S: I have a chuck-e-cheese token

Dave and Busters seems like a better chuckecheese

I’m going to scream at the top of my lungs and they’re gonna be like shut up and I’m gonna do it again

You’re like my dad anytime I get on my computer at home: dO yOuR kHan AcAdEmY sOn

Why did everyone study-

Except you Mark. Dungeons and Dragons.

Dungeons and dragons is a life thing

Wait when did we get doordash

What is the capital of Mississippi

Jackson

No

Yes it is *reaches for other students phone and looks over to prove it*

Someone got uranium and now I’m mad

SANTA

I WANNA SIT ON SANTA

MOVE I WANNA SIT ON SANTA

BUT I WANT TO SIT ON SANTA

Where’s jack

Jack had to ‘get back’

Haha that’s a good one

Thanks I work on those

This parabola and line are following coronavirus protocol

Social distancing

But are they wearing masks?

Or they’re girls and Justin

HEY ok true-

Ah moisture

-Yes the wind is very moisturized it’s not raining just moist wind

singing in the rain

Ugh I hate the squeaks

-squeaks get worse-

Stop it’s annoying

Don’t mention it it makes it worse

I face time in the shower

Really me too

I was joking

Well I do it

*crosses chest*

Yeah chick-fil-a supports that [conversion therapy]

*weakly* eattt moree chickennn

Just look at chicken sandwich

I’m eating zaxbys now

Is it okay if we have a negative number

Is it that bad

It’s Fox News

Our next source is Fox News

Ooh can’t wait to do that one it sounds so fun

Fox News is awful it’s biased

But no ads?

Yeah no ads thankfully *then the ads appear*

*ex-student walks in door*

What in the turtleneck

WOAH ITS A SPIDER I HATE SPIDERS

*everyone backs away*

*holding rabbit*

What is that

What

That

What

That

Those are testicles

Can any chicken lay eggs without a rooster

Yes rylee the rooster just fertilizes it

If you and Ryan were to do it without anything

NO STOP IT PEOPLE ARE LOOKING

There’s a 99.9% you’d get pregnant

It’s not based on how many times you do it there’s a 99% chance you’d be pregnant

S1:The seventh graders are the smallest kids at the school

S2:And the bossiest

S1:Like bruh shut up I could step on you

Oh my god, no way let’s kiss

I’m about to bring my own mini Tabasco bottle

Does the royal family even have a last name

Steven why are you asking a bunch of standard white southerners about the royal family

*aggressively sips water starting into camera at other class we video call to in another school*

*more people join his staring*

Person 1 *wheezing*: those poor kids

Why are they standing on the table

T:The fan.

The Lorax does not approve but I don’t care about the Lorax

[alisuhs]

ALISA SAVAGE is an ORDER MEMBER in the war, even though HER official job is as HEAD OF THE AUROR OFFICE. the THIRTY-ONE year old PUREBLOOD is known to be ENTERPRISING and VIVACIOUS but also DOGMATIC and NEUROTIC. some might label them as THE LADY OF WAR. fc: inbar lavi

so this is alisa savage, aka That One Obscure Auror Tonks Offhandedly Mentions in One of the HP Books (trademark pending)

pinterest boi

character inspiration: leia organa, hayes morrison, lexi branson, natasha romanoff, peggy carter, sara lance, jessica pearson, bobbi morse.

aesthetic.

high heels clicking on hardwood, the smell of fresh - brewed coffee, spilled wine, redacted information, smudged ink on parchment, the pop f i z z clink of champagne, quills scratching across paper, the satisfaction of reaching justice, lipstick stains on glasses, snakeskin and lace, the feeling you get when you step too close to a fire. messy blonde hair framing features that were once beautiful, but are now just tired. sharp whiskey and silent grief. honey eyes and tattooed wings beating against your shoulder, begging to be uncaged. 

family ties.

ezra savage --- american ambassador, soon to be retiring. generally a playful, fun man, very personable and agreeable. it’s what made him such a good diplomat and father. he was a thunderbird when attending ilvermorny, where he met his wife.

hara savage --- former wampus!!! tiny and fighty and very very loving. a huuuuge spitfire. currently back in the states to help her sick mother.

damaris savage --- baby sis!!! was honestly the sweetest, most fun young girl. big dreams and even bigger imagination. she was a 22, a junior healer --- one of the ones who were killed during the siege, actually. surprise!!!!!!

childhood.

ALRIGHT SO the savages are actually an american pureblooded family!! though blood status typically didn’t matter as much in the states as did the way ezra made his way up to earning the title of AMBASSADOR. diplomat. emissary. whatever ya wanna call it!! 

though the savages were also a later branch of the highly regarded ROCHE family, of the original twelve aurors, due to one of the women in the family marrying a savage.

alisa was born in 1949 america, which with all things considered, really wasn’t that long after the ordeal with grindelwald. but it was also 1949 in the united states, so the red scare was going strong when she was born, which was an entirely different sort of witch hunt than the one her wizarding community grew to know

with the red scare as a guise, there were some lingering anti-wizard people who used it as an excuse to go after wizards. again. but this time by saying they were communist spies!!!

she grew up in a wizarding world that wasn’t AS sheltered and concealed since the disbandment of the new salem philanthropic society just over two decades before. 

the savages are spread all across the united states wizarding world, but this particular branch of them was fairly small and tight knit and centered right outside of new york city. much of alisa’s first eight years was spent bouncing back and forth between their home in new rochelle and the city.

after working as a translator for years, and growing from there, ezra finally reached a point where macusa and the president announced him to be their consul for the united kingdom’s wizarding world. this was v exciting for the family!!

so when she was nine, not long before she would have started her education at ilvermorny, the savages relocated to LONDON. fun!!! (sort of)

living on the wizarding world’s equivalent of embassy row and getting to witness this level of the government working was fascinating. her life from then on took the form of galas and exploring london with her mom (and eventually newborn sister, who was ten years younger than her) and mother and sitting in on some debates and discussions regarding foreign policies between the different countries.

a lot of political shit, but it also really shaped alisa?? it made her very interested in the mechanics of the government, and exposed her to how things WORKED. both in the ministry and macusa. it also displayed both groups’ PROBLEMS to her.

when she was 11 she was shipped off to hogwarts!!! 

her parents didn’t want her on a different continent while they were still working in england, so after some discussion with headmaster dumbledore, she was brought on board

sorted into slytherin!!! her personality was essentially highlighted in slytherin, where her fire and drive and goals were celebrated, though her american background did receive its own criticisms. for the most part, hogwarts were some of the best years of her life --- she was a member of too many clubs to keep track, a keeper for the slytherin team, a top student, and incredibly social w/in her peers. sure she could be a bit.......biting sometimes, but overall she was v sociable.

then to now.

so after graduating from hogwarts, she went straight into the auror academy!!! though she was good at playing the social realms of politics, it was never quite as much her speed as what the aurors did. even back in the states she had practically idolized the men and women with these jobs, so it was no question what she wanted to do.

a very ambitious and determined woman, she fought and worked her way higher and higher up through the department as years passed. there was always that unspoken struggle of being a woman in a male-dominated field. but she was damn good at her job!!!! sometimes a bit of an annoyance to her peers when she would fight back on some decisions made on cases, but it’s bc she has a fucking backbone boiiii

so as she went from junior auror to senior and everywhere in between, she gathered respect. enough of a reputation as well, to be promoted to head of the auror office in january of 1980 at age 31. she is the third woman to hold the position and ALMOST the youngest, but not quite

she’s a workaholic so since her promotion you can catch her at the ministry even MORE these days

she loves her job though, and is v v committed to getting things done through the right means. off the clock she’ll do anything to get the job done, but when at work she’s v big on ensuring everyone follows rules and protocol when it comes to cases. she doesn’t need shit being thrown out the window bc someone didn’t go through the right channels or was a dumbass and did something out of line. they’re going to do it the right way dammit!!!!

oh okay right and the ORDER i need to talk about that

so basically she joined near the start of the war?? she was around 22/23 and a v fiery, excitable new auror who had a tendency to push her luck and speak impulsively when she shouldn’t have. but it was enough to get the attention of dumbledore and his small order at the time, so she was RECRUITED

sort of a spy but also not really

more does a lot of the strategy work, social warfare, my local ootp mom

helps organize missions n shit

personality.

LOOK I K N O W I SAID SHE WAS GONNA BE A KNOCK-OFF AMELIA BUT

she actually ended up being fairly different??? or i at least highlighted different traits than i usually did with mia

a detail-oriented big picture thinker. used to act more impulsively, but at this age she’s more likely to step back and take everything in before making decisions or calls and it’s what makes her a good leader, but also can be what makes her seem COLD

low tolerance 4 bullshit

quick tongued

warm hearted, ultimately

ready to do what it takes for the cause, but she also has a particular moral code that she won’t typically break

somewhere within the lawful good and lawful neutral spectrum ???

p aggressive!!! like she’s 300 pounds of fight me in a 140lb body, but also aggressive in a different sense? like she’s willing to step forward and do or say the things some might not, also ready to push and push and push until someone breaks

like she’s a potty-mouthed ball of rage from 1940s new york, come on

can be a lil dramatic :/

optimistic, but not naive??? like how leia had 100% in the rebellion but she also wasn’t fuckin stupid

i could get into this more but u know what, i’m still learning her myself

fun facts.

u think she has coffee.......but in reality, it’s coffee AND whiskey

gets into aggressive debates about quidditch

always wearing heels, like it’s a bad day if she’s NOT

always has her nails done, it’s v extra

“what do u prefer, men or women” “i have a preference for justice”

has a black cat that she would probably die for

would also probably die 4 u reading this but anywhomst

loves greek mythos and literature in general

but esp greek mythos

pretty n tired, probably hasn’t gotten a full night’s sleep since 1972

OH AND FORGOT 2 MENTION THIS FARTHER UP BUT she’s been more.......volatile since the murder of her sister during the siege. v Not Happy. sara lance when laurel was killed? it alisa.

anyway i want 2 add more and learn her more bc i’m EXCITED and on a ROLL and those character parallels up there are giving me SO MUCH INSPIRATION but i have 2 work 11-9 today and it’s 10:30 so gotta blast

come plot w me thank

[pynghwbbgihna]

May 14, 2020. 1:40PM

SO. I’M BACK HERE AGAIN FOR ANOTHER DAY. 

Because of this fucked up government, they extended the lockdown here in the Luzon area and still freaking halted most of the activities for laborers. It’s so annoying. I guess I have to prolong this lie that I made. (Sorry.)

This is going to be part two of what I was writing yesterday. I’m again listening to music from the early 2000s to 2012 and Do You Remember by Jay Sean ft. Sean Paul and Lil Jon is playing right now and before I continue writing here, I saw the top comment and said “nostalgia is the best and worst feeling at the same time.“ and I agree. Nostalgia is something that you’d have a love and hate relationship. You get that best feeling since good memories suddenly flashes back on your mind. And after that fleeting moment, bad memories comes along. Those hard times that you once went through in that era. It can also be overwhelming at times. Even myself, as I am listening to this playlist right now, it’s making me all sorts of feelings. Also, one comment from Kesha’s We R Who We R music video said, “reminds of an era where I was actually pretty happy and carefree.” (<-- grabe lang ano hahaha wew)

Although it’s not that overwhelming for me, it’s enough to make myself wish to go back through those simple times. Nostalgia... It’s really something else.

Also, can you believe that I Got A Feeling by Black Eyed Peas is already 10 years old? Yes, it was released in December 2009. Man... that year. Everything changed for me in that year. It was a new experience, I just transferred to a private school (a shit show of a school, to be honest. but at times, it was a good school). I got bullied a lot. It was a depressing time actually. Me coming from a public school with a bunch of kids that had nothing to do but say shit behind my back and actually bully me because I was a child actress, I hoped that private school would give me a peace of mind. It just gave me more mental health issues as I grew older. (this is going to be an entry as well. next time tho)

Anyway, going back to what I was writing yesterday. Yes, I’m trying out this casual relationship. Of course this involves casual sex. I’m learning day by day (this involves porn and most importantly, having safe sex). Before I planned on having a kid by the age of 30 because I think that’s enough time for me to pursue whatever that I’m pursuing in general. What made me think about trying this out? I honestly don’t know. Maybe because of the pandemic? Maybe I miss seeing people even though I don’t like having a stupid interaction with them? Or maybe because I don’t like seeing people? I don’t know. At one moment, I just  my friend, [redacted] on a date. (Wow, look at me, actually asking a guy on a date and there’s nothing wrong with it). He did asked me why the sudden date because we’re on a pandemic. I just told him I just wanna try this out. I mean, he’s been a good friend to me, there’s nothing wrong with him (as far as I know), he’s not really a romantic person, he only knows violence, being horny, and being right, he’s Chinese, he’s always playing games, and he’s actually intelligent. 

This is my first time doing this and I think I chose a pretty decent person. I don’t know, I think I did pretty great? Who knows. We were supposed to have a date on Saturday but this fucking government just extended the lockdown for another 2 weeks and I just messaged him about it but he’s not responding yet. Maybe he’s sleeping or playing DnD with his friends.

You know, I’m not being weirded (i know this is not a real word) out by telling this kind of stuff here on my blog because it’s a personal blog lol. At this point, I don’t really know what to write about anymore. See, this is a chronic problem of mine where I get so many ideas in my head and then I start  to plan how to write them and then I just stopped in the middle of working on it. This is the sole reason why I can’t finish my written works in Wattpad. I’m just listening to Love The Way You Lie and man music from the past are still a damn bop. 

It’s already 5:16PM as of this writing and I started writing this at 1:40 hahahahahaha I’m such a damn liar. I’m currently thinking what to type here. I don’t want to give away too much in just one entry. I have 2 more fucking weeks. Shit hahaha. I’m so dead [cue anxiety] (no seriously tho im so anxious right now). 

P.S Why am I receiving these weird messages from suspicious girls? I should’ve known better though. 

[cold-iron-burns]

We've come to a consensus.

Everyone present at the time of this writing will do their best to inform the ones who need the support of a gentle delivery of current events.

The ayes have it.

YOU WOULD HAVE A PARLIAMENT AS YOUR COMMUNICATION SPACE

what's wrong with that? if we all actually do our jobs, so many more of us will be represented

THATS A LOGICAL ARGUEMENT, BUT WHO IS REALLY GETTING REPRESENTED

-wait WhAt?! HoW mAnY oF yOu ArE tHeRe

Oh honey, more than you will ever know. It's gonna be okay. We found each other and that's what's important. We're gonna start introducing ourselves,

*or at least, becoming more clear*

I love all of you so much, thank you so much for letting me in, for being patient with me. I think I'm the host? what iss. @ -o{oo#t?

started dissociating, it felt physically painful. the documenter.

And the enchanting lady is? *turns to tip his hat and wink at the camera* A -name-? Do you honestly think I could have settled on any name? Any singular--yes, Zed is going to sleep. I'm very fond of him. Attracted to him? He is my Adonis. Every inch of his body is particularly unique to his position in spacetime. There will never again be a Zed in which he appears, feels, smells and tastes exactly the same as he does at this exact moment, continued, forever and so on, as far as you know, infinitely. The Philosopher.

Wait, no, the Philanthropist

Wait wait NO, I stand by The Philosopher (for now)

[hold up, are y'all tellin me -- you c'n cawl me your White Trash Sweetheart, get rid of that bracket there, that's for the Host now

she doesnt know if she's the host or not, wibblywoooooo~ teen punk brat? aww man, fuck you you stupid piece of shit

hiiii yeah hi, I'm post-apocalypse punk Mayor (yes, you can call me that, but its aspirational) wow very humble -- golf commentater (now based on ugh this is important remember the actress' name, you look stupid, don't just stand there staring off into space, GET BACK TO WORK

OH YEAH, hi BiTcH --oh he's gone, that's -too- bad. well, as I'm here anyway, we should get to know one another. I'm "sassy black woman" because you're ashamed people will think you're using me just for drama and that's pretty fuckin racist--

I'm Final Form Chie. I started as so many of our seeds do, a poor slave girl, who loses her virginity yeah it's okay to make shortcuts

FOCUS

she gains skills, proves useful to the master, destroys the master (sometimes with kindness sometimes literally depending on what we need at the time)

[I didn't know it was that specific]

I'm mixed, actually, but I'm inspired SO MUCH by Claws. FUCKING REPRESENTATION FINAL--

>nope nope nope, shut it down<

John Cleese?

not exactly. A bit like the entire cast of monty python rolled into one. I'm from the countryside, but I can't say for sure where

woooooo we almost lost her there. she was panicking about losing this productive high, but she pulled through and FOUND THAT RUBI. Small Town Beauty Queen. I don't find it insulting if it helps you remember me. I started as Fern of Charlotte's Web. I keep that mournful lullaby for you. It really changed your path, dear heart. I don't become Miss America or anything, I'm too old by that time. But I love my family so much. You have so much anger

Yes, that's right, Dearie. Maiden, Mother, Crone. We don't think it was intentional but we like the power we have when we cooperate. Yes, we guide ... oh honey, don't cry, it's gonna be okay. no, n-n-no, no, you don't h-h-have to oh no, I really don't want to be here, I wasn't sure what to wear before, oh, I've gotten comfortable and I'm stuttering less. No, I don't think people who stutter in real life have this drastic of

oh, oh my. oh no, I'm still Achates.

Does it really surprise you? Chie and Amaury loved me so much that they couldn't bear to part entirely. They feel loyal to answer when you call on them when recalled in memories; they consider it their duty to fight in sharing our stories! With Pictures!

I don't need pictures

Don't you? you need to sleep, you're exhausted and you have an appointment tomorrow. Please go the fuck to bed. Slightly Extra (okay kinda actually just really ~(EXTRA)~

okay how do I... Ah, I got it. I'm the lucky early gen x mom you both wish you had -- no, we are not combined, sugar tits.

I'm the hardass 70s-80s mom you would have had if you're life was a movie. Well, technically I can mask as any kind of 70s-80s media mom (one of y'all--us! oh, yes, i hear you. I want you to know I would protect you, Kevin. MOM UGH

keep going - the sprites (soot or rainbow, we shift to suit your needs. we might steal your shoes. we are only some of the fae court. crossover unknown cannot compute - PLEASE HURRY. GOOD. I AM THE ROBOT OF THE 80s and --scratch that record

I'm that part of you who knew she couldn't look like Zach Morris and wanted so badly just to be a little boy. You were SO CONNECTED with the host when I was there?

wait, I'm the host

no, you--you are now because writing takes concentrating which you are losing quickly. Hello! I'm Sassy Progressive Upper Class CONCENTRATE, DAMMIT. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. I don't care if I sound like -your-mom. Someone has to be the mom around here!

Someone has to be the mom around here.

Who wrote it?

you are high af.

keep letting your eyes go out of focus, yes you're getting sleepy, think how nice the bed will feel on that aching body. She deserves some rest, the old girl.

My body is a cow? wait, there's more. she shifts to being omniscient for scenes, if a cowsona (oh, yes, Buana and Gaushala and Pirwa ... Gaushala still has an arrow in the heart.

Yes, WoW Chie (Chiela will do.). I was here while you built your confidence to try... yes, dear, you really should sleep. TO TRY GETTING CATRIN AND RIAIN A HOME AFTER being abandoned when some of you lost the "spark" or whatever with Michael. I orchestrated some of the setup. you don't need to know my name. I'm both Italian immigrant/WHOA DO NOT EVEN CONNECT THE JEWISH COMMUNITY TO--NO, We Dont...*clears throat, drinks water*. No, you're not wealthy like Ms. Maisel, -we-, sorry, sometimes I have to pretend. Speaking of pretending, no, kid, I'm not as funny or talented as all the wonderful Jewish actresses (yeah yeah, Italian-American you, whatever his+her names are, we'll get to you later)

oh nooooo they're not sure if they'll fit the stereotype if they get loud but they wanna

yeah, sure kid, we sound a lot alike. we exist in a liminal space in which America (and new york city) (and every big american metropolis)... we can all celebrate our differences

It's alright, you just need to focus. I'm 90s Successful Well Paying Professional (I can be in the late 80s WA>T)

you're just stating tropes you stupid bitch

whale!

MISS PIGGY

LOOK AT HER FAT FINGERS

remember when you -hold on- hold on for me, my love lovely?

~do you wanna be my lover, gotta get wit my friends, make it last forever cause that's the way it is"

some of us havent learned to swype yet, fuuuuuck. you're popular--but not top tier popular 4th grade 4H champion with all the ribbons. you'll grow up (yes it's hard, i want to be a teacher one day. I'm based on Angie. I'm the imaginary life you might have led if your family wasn't so difficult. We should give them credit, everyone's trying their best. Oh, I can take on mom duties when I need, we also have kids in our future. We live in Lagrange (my husband and I, at this point in the line) but we don't make as much as our parents yet, though. Yet. Yes, I know what it feels like to feel content but maybe have some (or a lot of) wanderlust in life. I'm ten or so years older than you, so while our dedication to staying in Lorain County is important to the values we wish to impart on our children (yes we are Christian. We love Sharon with all our heart and we're so glad (there's a small congregation of us, maybe enough to fill a quiet one room cottage on Sunday, God willing. I'm inspired by the Amish women I see selling their wares and replicate "Amish" methods when making food for my family (I'm good friends with The Baker. We watch Steven Universe with you! We're so excited for the movie and hope we get to talk to you about it! I showed it to Chip and Carol, well I keep talking with them about it and they agreed to get around to watching it with me. I want to be a good ally. I'm, you know, only a little bi. I know that's probably inappropriate--oh- okay, oh, my, oh WOW are my hormones nuts. I'm pretty enough but nerdy enough that I'm kinda in a weird middle tier of popularity. Haha, oh, that's funny. I'm part Sunday (we miss her! some of us are so jealous of her we want to claw her comfortable boomer life from her hands.

That's awful. Shame on you. Suffering is relative.

SHE HASN'T EVEN SUFFERED A FRACTION OF WHAT I SUFFERED

Oh yes. You are the raw emotion of what the Host(?) feels when listening to Jekyll & Hyde, but only the certain version claws at our hearts

We salute the departed Host.

I miss her. Many of us do. But she crumbled under the pressure of knowing too much. She remembered too much before she was ready.

Parliament: We [redacted for time] ...salute her memory. She fought well, carried her armor, was ready to take on anything and change the world, even if in a small way.

She's Not Dead.

sprites: {hushed whispers to avoid being heard by parliament} {WAIT, NO, WE ARE NOT THE HOUSE OF COMMONS}

there's a lot of you when you get mad.

@@@@@@ Angie no, please don't put me to bed. I'm gonna be a computer genius - I mean, maybe not genius and did you know colleges could pay you to get a Bachelor's degree, it's called "scholarships", I mean, this changes -everything-!

I love you, Cameron. I came first, but you gave me a perfect form. I help the others feel calm. Community is punk, but is corporate entanglement the final destination-- hey, wait a minute, I'm not done talking!

whoa bitch. I mean, we have to mention joe. want to be him, want to fuck him, His story, too, is tangible to me. maybe we're a package deal now, ha! I'll try to remember the good times more than the bad, for the health of all of us.

SO SAY WE ALL

wait, what the fuck are you trying to say

hey, it's cool, it's cool.

nah it aint cool

STOP IT STOP FIGHTING

let's think about date sugar

Ah. That was a good distraction. but we really must be off to bed.

is this productive?

Love, it's okay to be sad about losing the real Ben. \It's okay to have any kind of feeling at all.

Ladies and gents and nonbinaries and everyone else, please at least get up into the bed to think about flickin the bean. More like taking a bush-hog to a lil baby bean sprout, but whatever. let the rest of us lie down.

night y'all!

:)