#you will get lots of productive thinking done right up to the point where you decide you're done walking

[burntoutdaydreamer]

Weird Brain Hacks That Help Me Write

I'm a consistently inconsistent writer/aspiring novelist, member of the burnt-out-gifted-kid-to-adult-ADHD-diagnosis-pipeline, recently unemployed overachiever, and person who's sick of hearing the conventional neurotypical advice to dealing with writer's block (i.e. "write every single day," or "there's no such thing as writer's block- if you're struggling to write, just write" Like F*CK THAT. Thank you, Brenda, why don't you go and tell someone with diabetes to just start producing more insulin?)

I've yet to get to a point in my life where I'm able to consistently write at the pace I want to, but I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago. In the past five years I've written two drafts of a 130,000 word fantasy novel (currently working on the third) and I'm about 50,000 words in on the sequel. I've hit a bit of a snag recently, but now that I've suddenly got a lot of time on my hands, I'm hoping to revamp things and return to the basics that have gotten me to this point and I thought I might share.

1) My first draft stays between me and God

I find that I and a lot of other writers unfortunately have gotten it into our heads that first drafts are supposed to resemble the finished product and that revisions are only for fixing minor mistakes. Therefore, if our first draft sucks that must mean we suck as writers and having to rewrite things from scratch means that means our first draft is a failure.

I'm here to say that is one of the most detrimental mentalities you can have as a writer.

Ever try drawing a circle? You know how when you try to free-hand draw a perfect circle in one go, it never turns out right? Whereas if you scribble, say, ten circles on top of one another really quickly and then erase the messy lines until it looks like you drew a circle with a singular line, it ends up looking pretty decent?

Yeah. That's what the drafting process is.

Your first draft is supposed to suck. I don't care who you are, but you're never going to write a perfect first draft, especially if you're inexperienced. The purpose of the first draft is to lay down a semi-workable foundation. A really loose, messy sketch if you will. Get it all down on paper, even if it turns out to be the most cliche, cringe-inducing writing you've ever done. You can work out those kinks in the later drafts. The hardest part of the first draft is the most crucial part: getting started. Don't stress yourself out and make it even harder than it already is.

If that means making a promise to yourself that no one other than you will ever read your first draft unless it's over your cold, dead body, so be it.

2) Tell perfectionism to screw off by writing with a pen

I used to exclusively write with pencil until I realized I was spending more time erasing instead of writing.

Writing with a pen keeps me from editing while I right. Like, sometimes I'll have to cross something out or make notes in the margins, but unlike erasing and rewriting, this leaves the page looking like a disaster zone and that's a good thing.

If my writing looks like a complete mess on paper, that helps me move past the perfectionist paralysis and just focus on getting words down on the page. Somehow seeing a page full of chicken scratch makes me less worried about making my writing all perfect and pretty- and that helps me get on with my main goal of fleshing out ideas and getting words on a page.

3) It's okay to leave things blank when you can't think of the right word

My writing, especially my first draft, is often filled with ___ and .... and (insert name here) and red text that reads like stage directions because I can't think of what is supposed to go there or the correct way to write it.

I found it helps to treat my writing like I do multiple choice tests. Can't think of the right answer? Just skip it. Circle it, come back to it later, but don't let one tricky question stall you to the point where you run out of brain power or run out of time to answer the other questions.

If I'm on a role, I'm not gonna waste it by trying to remember that exact word that I need or figure out the right transition into the next scene or paragraph. I'm just going to leave it blank, mark to myself that I'll need to fix the problem later, and move on.

Trust me. This helps me sooooo much with staying on a roll.

4) Write Out of Order

This may not be for everyone, but it works wonders for me.

Sure, the story your writing may need to progress chronologically, but does that mean you need to write it chronologically? No. It just needs to be written.

I generally don't do this as much for editing, but for writing, so long as you're making progress, it doesn't matter if it's in the right order. Can't think of how to structure Chapter 2, but you have a pretty good idea of how your story's going to end? Write the ending then. You'll have to go back and write Chapter 2 eventually, but if you're feeling more motivated to write a completely different part of the book, who's to say you can't do that?

When I'm working on a project, I start off with a single document that I title "Scrap for (Project Title)" and then just write whatever comes to mind, in whatever order. Once I've gotten enough to work with, then I start outlining my plot and predicting how many chapters I'm going to need. Then, I create separate google docs for each individual chapter and work on them in whatever order I feel like, often leaving several partially complete as I jump from one to the other. Then, as each one gets finished, I copy and paste the chapter into the full manuscript document. This means that the official "draft" could have Chapters 1 and 9, but completely be missing Chapters 2-8, and that's fine. It's not like anyone will ever know once I finish it.

Sorry for the absurdly long post. Hopes this helps someone. Maybe I'll share more tricks in the future.

[he-calls-me-kitten]

Sugar, Spice and a Tempting Vice

VA! MC x OM! Characters

"Hey Levi, any new game recommendations for me? I just finished the last lot of books Satan suggested." You asked, plopping down your head on his shoulder to look at his screen.

"M-MC! You have to warn me before you do such things!" He muttered, his ears turning red as he scrolled some webpages pages for you. "But okay yeah these are the new games that are out recently... see anything you like?"

"Oh my God! It's out it's out!" You pointed excitedly at the screen. "Pretty Little Things is out! Finally!! I was dying to tell you all about it!"

Levi visibly stiffened up. "You-you were waiting for this particular game to come out? Are you sure it's not another game with a similar sounding name?"

"Nah uh this is the exact same one. Look up the list of voice actors in this game!"

"WHAT?! MC WHY IS YOUR NAME IN HERE?????"

"Yes! This was the new part-time job I couldn't tell you about since it was still in production! Im so glad you can just play it now!"

"...it's uh ready for download on all platforms already...so which character did voice?"

"Oh spoiler alert, my character is the only one that doesn't have a name, you have assign me one, the same way you name yourself. They even designed the characters to resemble all the VA's and add in some of their personalities, isn't that sweet?"

"Hahaha y-yeah definitely sweet! I'll be sure to check it out soon!"

"Great! Lemme know what you think of the game okay?!" You squeezed him in a small hug before you left.

Later in the Demon Brothers only group chat:

Levi: Code Red! Code Red! ASHSKSHSKSKSJJSKKS

Mammon: WHAT WHAT THAT MEANS AN MC RELATED EMERGENCY RIGHT??

Asmo: OMG are they OKAY?? Should I go check up on them in their room!?!

Satan: I'm already on my way.

Mammon: NOT BEFORE ME YOU'RE NOT!

Belphie: Is MC hurt in anyway?

Beel: Did they pass out from hunger?! I can bring them emergency snacks right away

Lucifer: Can you lot not lose your minds everytime MC is mentioned? Pathetic. Levi, calm down and tell us what's wrong.

Beel: But Lucifer I just saw you hurrying up the stairs to MC's room too...

Satan: Typical Lucifer. By the way, MC is perfectly fine, happy even. Levi what are you on about?

Mammon: Yeah MC can't stop smiling! It's a good thing that happened, you idiot! Why would you scare us like that?

Asmo: Omg apparently MC voice acted in a new game! Levi I need you to download it for me ASAP please!

Beel: Me too, please.

Belphie: Me three.

Lucifer: I've already done it, you all can do it yourselves if you could do your own work for once.

Satan: Oh shut up, MC just did it for you right now as they did it for me.

Levi: It's a Dating Simulator. With multiple H-rated DLC endings. And MC is one of the dateables.

...

Levi: Hello?!! Did you guys not see my message?!

Levi: Seriously no reaction?! You guys aren't freaked out by this?!?

Beel: I just heard several doors opening and closing at once.

Asmo: Oh come Levi, I think you already know what our reaction is Levi ♥️ How can we possibly hold in our excitement after such a news!?

Levi: Are you all downloading the game together?!!! Y'all are hogging the bandwidth too much, my download speed has gone way down!!

Simeon: Hey

Simeon: I heard some demons in a cafe, raving about a game where MC plays one of the main characters?

Solomon: Indeed MC just sent us all a link right now.

Simeon: Oh is that so? I'll get Luke to help me download it after he's done with his.

Levi: Luke is playing it too?! I don't think it's appropriate given it's certain hidden endings!!

Barbatos: MC already made sure of it. He only has access to the sibling and friendship routes. It's a special version they added for all ages.

Diavolo: It already has downloads in the ten thousands. I'm really glad to see how MC is beloved by Devildom.

Levi: Are NONE of you affected by the fact that there are erotic routes with MC's VOICE?!!

Solomon: Oh I personally cannot wait hear my adorable apprentice's performance.

Barbatos: Ahem. I'd rather not comment on it.

Simeon: Same.

Diavolo: Same.

Levi: Sigh. We really are just a helpless lot at the mercy of MC.

To be continued...

[csuitebitches]

How to Wake Up Early

I always wanted to be one of those girls who would wake up early, go for a run and be super productive with their mornings. The issue is - i really love sleep. Every time i would start a routine, i would eventually fail. I would wake up to turn the alarm off, think to myself “5 mins more” and boom- it’s suddenly 8:30 am and i need to leave for work in less than 1 hour.

Two videos on YouTube really changed my mind. One was Andrew Huberman’s, and the other was Jihyo, a k-pop star.

I came across Andrew Huberman’s video about dopamine, and somehow, it helped me to understand why the difficulty waking up early is so important. Now I’m no expert of neuroscience, but let me explain to the best of my abilities.

Dopamine is essentially the build up to the reward; it is not the reward. It is the satisfaction and happiness you feel (when your body releases), after you have achieved something that was painful/ required you to struggle a bit. In order to receive this reward, you have to feel pain, because pain and satisfaction are directly related to each other. Satisfaction without pain is useless and does nothing for you essentially.

That got me wondering: for me, waking up early is difficult. It’s painful. I dont want to do it. But if I do it, its my first win of the day. It’s the first challenge I have overcome of that day, and I always do feel amazing after. The dopamine release after the struggle of waking up and winning the battle of not going back to sleep is definitely there. I feel more confident because a) I have done the “right” thing b) selfishly, i can do something so simple that a lot of people struggle with c) it weirdly makes me feel more confident and like I’m doing the first step of being an adult right.

Jihyo’s video was quite random - she did some show where it shows her daily life when she’s not working. Parts of it made me feel like she’s unable to just relax with herself (probably because her body and mind are so used to chaos, performing, her girl group living together for so many years) so she busies herself a lot. I took the positives from the video; she’s extremely disciplined which I admired, she gets her chores done, she’s good at ensuring that her space is truly her space.

So I decided to build a relatively foolproof routine; but mind you, it does require quite a bit of willpower.

I’ve developed a habit of waking of waking up at 5 am. I head straight for a 30-45 minute meditation and then at least an hour long workout. I stack my habits that way; right after meditation, I put on my running shoes. I used to really struggle with waking up, even if I had to wake up late. This is the strategy that worked me, see if it works for you.

1. Reset your space the night before

This makes you feel less stressed in the morning and also genuinely makes you feel like you have your shit together. Put your clothes away, keep your bag in its place, clean up your desk, reorganise your make up and skin care products. You’re going to go to sleep and wake up to a clean space.

Make sure you define both your bedtime and wake up time. My bedtime is 9:30 pm - so i manage my chores, reading, dinner, everything around that.

2. Early dinner

I’ve noticed that early dinners help me sleep better. I’ve built the habit of casually walking for 25-30 minutes post dinner (not right after eating, after about 15 mins). I’m not walking fast to a point where I’m sweating and puffing, I’m casually strolling outside. During this time, I don’t listen to music, interact with anyone or my phone. I use this time to connect with myself and think about whatever I feel like.

3. No devices before sleeping

I don’t want to stimulate myself before sleeping, so I prefer reading before bed. If you don’t like reading, you can instead do your skincare, maybe revise some physical study notes, etc.

4. Using Alarmy app

This app is torture and I swear by it. This little thing makes you a solve a challenge of your choice in order to make the alarm stop, like math problems, puzzles, etc. I chose 5 math problems.

5. Keep your phone across the room

Don’t charge it near your reach. Keep it as away from you as possible.

6. Stand for two minutes after shutting off the alarm

Don’t allow yourself to snooze, or go back to bed. This is the part that really requires you to tell yourself: “i am not going back to sleep. I’m going to wake up and do the things I have to do for my own benefit.” Remember - the states of heaven and hell are not outside of you, they’re inside you. They are mental states. You have to fight with your lazy demon and tell him/her/whoever that NO; we are NOT going back to bed.

I charge my phone across the room so that forces me to walk first thing in the morning. To stop myself from going back to sleep, after i have shut the alarm off, i just stand for 2 minutes. I dont sit, or go back to bed. I stand and tell myself, we’re doing this. We’re going to wake up and have an amazing day.

Your mind is like a child with tantrums and mood swings. Your rational self has to discipline your mind the way a parent would to a child.

7. Turn a small light on

Not something that is jarring or overwhelming, but enough to help you start waking up. I turn my phone’s flashlight on and keep it on my desk.

8. Be consistent, even on weekends

The biggest mistake you can make is not being consistent. Your body doesnt recognise weekends, your mind does. Your body doesn’t know that tomorrow is Monday, so its time to wake up early. By staying consistent (yes, I wake up at 5 am on weekends too), it allows my body to develop its own body clock and not wrecking the system I’ve kept in place.

What do I do if I have a late night?

It really depends. Let’s say I come home relatively early (+2 hours around my bedtime) around 11 pm, and im in bed by 11:30. I’ll wake up somewhere close to 5 am, like 6 am instead. The next day I ensure I’m in bed by the bedtime I’ve kept for myself and wake up at 5 am again.

If I come home really late, like 3 am - i keep my alarm exactly 8 hours from that time. I need to get sleep, but oversleeping is an issue and that wont allow me to wake up early the next day. I want to get enough sleep where im rested for the day, but not excessively. Unfortunately, sleeping so late would definitely mean that i wont be able to fall asleep at my dot 9:30 pm bedtime, but i turn the lights off and get ready to sleep by then anyway, and mentally prepare for my 5 am wake up call.

[apas-95]

I’m an anarchocommunist that thinks a lot of other anarchists are stupid. For example, I don’t think that most people will just make insulin or do garbage collection/processing out of the kindness of their heart, and I also don’t think if it was genuinely done out of the kindness of their hearts that it’d work great. My idea is that for the “getting people to do the shitty jobs” question, the people that do those jobs should be compensated better in some way. Maybe a larger/nicer house, I’m not sure on the details. But other anarchists will say “all labor is equal”, and while I’d like to agree in the “work is hard” sense, I think things for the obvious common good, like teacher or garbage man or doctor deserve some sort of reward over other jobs. And for the efficiency of the labor, I think *specifically for labor* there needs to be some sort of organization, and we can use what’s worked before. We don’t need to have bathtub insulin if there’s a factory right there, and if there’s no connection from the insulin factory to doctors/pharmacists and truck drivers then it won’t work either. Really, my main problem with Marxism/Leninism or Stalinism or Maoism or any combination of those is that there are specific people with far too much power over others. I’m ok with light power in the way of “man you gotta drive the firetruck to the burning building even though you hate the dude that lives there”, but I’m not ok with the idea of a supreme leader or representatives in a political sense due to as I’ve amounts of power obviously corrupting people.

Really I’m sending this to you to get your criticism of my ideas- I think you’re pretty smart, and even if I disagree with you on some issues, I think I agree with you on others. I also want to say that not all anarchists are… like that.

So, years ago, before I started reading any Marxist theory, this is about where I was at politically. If you think about any of the practicalities, you come up to points where, very clearly, the maxim of 'no authority at all' conflicts with being able to do anything. If you're seriously considering how society could be better organised, if this is something you actually intend on bringing about, then you make some amount of concession to reality - as you did with the firetruck example!

Now, myself, I went on like this for a good while, coming up with methods of truly democratic organisation that wouldn't be susceptible to the types of totalitarianism I'd heard about, ending up very similar to your position. I was interested, however, in how these 'failed experiments' that I'd learned devolved into bureaucracy started out, and I started reading up on the history, and realised, with some discontent, that what I'd developed, once I'd made all the concessions for reality that would be necessary if this system were to be the actual one real human beings lives depended on, was essentially identical to the Soviet system.

From there, I read up on Marxist theory, still basically wary that this had all, at some point, been taken over by an evil dictator, but able to see that the earliest stages, at least, had been exactly what I was imagining, but put into practice. Reading the theory, reading how their experience experimenting with different forms of organisation, and the failures of some types, had led them to discover what did and didn't work, and adjust accordingly, made me suddenly appreciate why certain things were done certain ways. The harsh experiences of civil war had revealed certain dynamics and mechanics in the way society and production worked, which translates into political theories that bore out results I wouldn't have expected (and neither had the communists who had discovered them through practice!).

Eventually, with some chagrin and a significant deal of excitement, I realised that much of what I'd passively absorbed about socialism, many of the common-sense maxims that I'd been taught by capitalist society about the nature of power and so on, were very much artifacts of a decades-long war against these communists and the system they'd built, carried out by exactly the corporations and empires I had thought myself opposed to.

I won't critique any individual point of yours, but I will enjoin you to try out some Marxist theory - Dialectical and Historical Materialism, or Socialism, Utopian and Scientific, or Principles of Communism, or even the Communist Manifesto, and to read between the lines of whatever capitalist source you read on socialism, to notice every [citation needed] and wonder what actually happened such that someone felt the need to make something up.

[l3viat8an]

Ok we all know how much you love streamer Levi but what about an au or something with Streamer Mammon? 

I do love streamer!Levi <333 still so happy it’s canon now too!!!! But!!!! Streamer!Mammon sounds fun too- so plz enjoy some headcanons!!! cuz apparently I had a lot to say :) also it’s been so long since I’ve done hcs so these are all over the place- sorry jsjsjs

Listen Mammon only started streaming after he saw how much money Levi made streaming- manz could not believe people actually pay other people to play games???- weirdos.

He’s like really good at COD- idk why or how he just is-

Honestly whenever he plays games, he’s either the first or the last to die…..there’s just no in between. Mammon plays so aggressively, his plan either flops right out the gate or he wins the game.

He’ll play just about any game that’s popular or trending thinking it’ll get him good ratings (and it usually does-)

Makes a big deal out of ‘playing games for the first time ever!!’ on stream because his fans love watching him skip tutorials “who has time for that crap???” and fail the first time.

He calls his subs, his grimm and they call him pookie jkjk-

He’s really good at survival games and games that require a lot of precision timing. Even if Mammon acts like a goofball he can focus and it’s impressive!

He’s in this ‘war’ with Levi where they raid each other’s streams all the damn time which is really funny cuz they share a ton of fans, so it’s more like fans running back and forth.

When they’re not ‘at war’ Levi and Mammon actually play together a lot!! Subs love when they have devilcart tournaments or team up and speedrun some dungeon.

Mammon always clams he’s more popular then Levi and makes more money!!! But they’re pretty even all around. Their numbers are only a few thousand followers off and tips are almost the same.

He has tons, and I mean tons of sponsors / sponsorships. He’s really good at casual product placement, showing the label / name of what he’s drinking or snacking on, on stream and sponsors love that shit-

If you two are dating your relationship is very public. He loves to posts about you on all his social media and show you off!!! Your his and he makes sure all his fans know he’s taken <3

Always invites you to come on stream with him!!!

Or he’ll start streams like “Come watch me beat my (gf/bf) at (game name)!!!” and the stream almost always ends with you winning ;)

After you’ve beaten him a few times he switches to playing only sillier games with you, stuff like Minecraft, devilcart or generic domestic / cooking games.

Speaking of cooking games- he once played cooking mama on stream and had to rage quit because he kept messing up-

He’s always a blushing mess when you’re on camera, which is something his chat teases him about endlessly!!

Bonus points if you give him a little kiss on the cheek after he wins a game and his fans can watch him turn bright red~

[georgeweasleyslostearhq]

PRETTY LADY part 2

Pairings: George weasley x Fem!reader Summary: you return back to the shop a few days later, this time, intended to not only buy products Warnings: mention of flirting, kissing.

part 1

you walked in the shop, looking around, seeing it way less cramped than the other day.

meaning it was less likely to be knocked by some little kid

you scanned the shop, looking to see if the man was anywhere in sight, you looked to your left and saw the man, his back facing you as he stocked the shelves with his hands

you walked up and pretended to look at the shelves, thinking it would get his attention, however, in the corner of your eye, you saw his glance over and go back to stocking the shelf.

after a few seconds, you sighed deeply, wanting nothing more than him to start a conversation

did he not remember you?

did he not care?

all you've been able to think about for the past week was him and the way he carelessly flirted with you the whole time. so you came back to feel the same thing he made you feel the other day, but now you're starting to think that might not happen

he heard your sigh and turned to you after putting the last box in the top shelf

"do you need help?" he smiled politely

you looked at him, trying to act a little surprised he's noticed you

"oh, no i'm just browsing" you tucked your hair behind you ear, hoping he'd help you anyway or just start a conversation

but he only smiled "alright, well, if you do need any help, i'll be stocking the shelves over there" he pointed over the other side of the shop before walking away

you stood there, beside the love potions, feeling like an idiot.

what just happened?

you turned and watched him walk across the shop before deciding to follow him, feeling the need to show him a piece of your mind for just brushing you off after what happened last week

you went up behind him and cleared your throat

he looked down at you as he noticed your presence

"yes?"

as soon as you made eye contact with him, you decided against verbally abusing him. instead. you smiled and looked down

"could you maybe tell me where your ten-second pimple vanisher is?" you asked, feeling like a fool

"oh, of course! it's upstairs to the left, next to the portable swamps. just look for the orange vials about this big" he informed, measuring around 1 and a half inches with his fingers

"alright, thanks!" you nodded before turning away, walking towards the stairs as he went back to stocking the shelf

you slowly made your way up the stairs, not knowing why you're still here. you stopped mid way and decided to leave now, the embarrassment was done and still heavy in your chest as you began walking back down the stairs

"it's almost as if he doesn't remember you" you heard from behind you

you looked up and saw him, standing at the top of the stairs, looking down at you with a smirk

"i knew you'd come back, pretty lady, although, i would've liked it if you tried talking to me instead of by twin brother" he snorted

you frowned before looking down at, looking for who you thought was him stocking the shelves, to find that man still there.

you looked back up and found George way closer than he was 3 seconds ago

"that's Fred" he grinned

"i.. didn't know there was two of you" you mumbled, playing with your sleeve

"clearly" he snickered "how did you not though?"

you stood there silently for a second before shrugging "it's not like i know the both of you"

"i'll forgive you...eventually" he beamed, leaning his hand against the railing

you looked over at his hand and fixated on the noticeable veins that flexed as he tapped his finger on the metal

"so, what brings you here again? me?" he smirked at his guess

"no" you denied

he raised an eyebrow as he resumed walking back down the stairs, pressing up against you as he passed

"well it definitely wasn't for pimple vanisher" he chuckled

"you seem to assume a lot of things about me" you followed after him

"at least i'm right" he pointed out

"do I get to learn your name yet or is that not until your fifth visit?" he wondered

you thought for a second before responding

"you'll never get it, and i'm not coming back here, i have no need to be here"

he stopped in his tracks and turned on his heels, before almost mocking you with his smile "then what brings you here today?"

you opened your mouth to speak but couldn't find words to explain yourself

"um.." you licked your lips, blinking as you stayed frozen still

he stepped up and leaned down to whisper in your ear

"if you wanted to ask me out, you could've just said that"

he leaned back up and winked before looking at you curiously

"i'm not asking you out" you sighed, annoyed. but you weren't sure why

"well you're here for something" he tutted

"I'm here...for a job" you thought on the spot, tapping your foot nervously

"no" he shook his head with a laugh before walking down, going around to the register

you followed him "no?"

he went around the counter as you stayed at the customer side

"yes, i'm not hiring you" he said simply, not making eye contact as he made himself busy with a checklist

you didn't want a job, although you were curious as to why his answer was a no

"why not?" you frowned "i'd be a great employee"

he looked up with a short huff "i'm not hiring you because, one, we aren't hiring, and even if we were i wouldn't because i wouldn't be allowed d to flirt with you"

"why do you? flirt with me?" you tilted your head

"because you don't stop me" he shrugged before walking away, towards the back of the shop

"well what if i told you to stop?" you hurried after him

"am i gonna answer this with an assumption or do you want an actual answer?" he looked back at you as he walked with his hands in his pockets

"actual" you replied quickly

"then i'd stop"

he stopped before he got to a door that had a sign saying 'staff only' and turned back "although, i don't think you will ask me to stop"

"and what makes you say that?" you crossed your arms defensively

he shrugged before opening the door, leaving it slightly open.

you stared at the open door as the 'staff only' sign stared back at you

did he mean to leave it open?

did he want you to follow him?

will he come out soon?

after a few seconds, you decided to go in. you slowly stepped towards the door and peeked in, looking around at what you could see, but couldn't see him, only boxes and cauldrons.

you quietly stepped in the room and jumped when the door suddenly shut with a 'bang!"

you looked back but nothing was there. he wasn't there

you frowned before turning back again, seeing him right in front of you

"cause you don't want me to stop" he smirked as he towered over you

you felt small against his frame, and weak in the knees under his unreadable gaze

"you like it, don't you?" he grinned, taking a dangerous step closer

you slowly shook your head in response, finding yourself unable to speak

"no? you don't like it?" he raised an eyebrow, knowing the real answer

you did, indeed, like it when he flirted with you, it made your heart flutter when he winked at you, it made you dizzy when he smirked at you, it made you giddy when he whispered in your ear, it made you flustered when he teased you. everything he did made you swoon

"n-no" you denied sheepishly

"then why'd you follow me in here? why'd you come back here today? what do you want? say it, and i'll give you it" he said deep and slow, building tension

"uhm" you stepped back, feeling hot

he licked his lips as he stepped closer "hm"

you looked down at your feet, embarrassed,

he lifted your chin and made you look at him "will you tell me your name yet?"

you stared up at him, longing before answering "Y/n"

he smiled brightly

"and you like this, don't you, Y/n?" he nodded, putting an innocent face on

"yeah.." you replied, almost in a trance

he left go of your chin and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, to which you subconsciously leaned into when his palm made contact with your lower cheek, to which he snickered at

"so what did you come here for?" he whispered huskily

"you" you mumbled, not breaking eye contact

"what about me?"

you bit your tongue as his gaze hardened, almost seeming desperate

"all of you" you gulped

he beamed before scrunching his nose teasingly. he pulled his hand away from your cheek and slid them down your sides, stopping them at your hips, pulling you closer to him

you held your breath as his touch burned

"all of me?" he squinted his eyes, questionably

you slowly hummed as you let your hands run up his arms to his shoulders, where you leaned up towards him

his hands snaked around your hips to the small of your back

"may i show you what i think you came here for?" he smiled, his gaze falling to your lips

his eyes hung low as he stared, his lips still upturned

you nodded your head with a small smile "yeah.."

he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours passionately, almost desperate.

his lips stayed on yours for what seemed like forever, the longer it got, the more intense he got, almost as though he was starved and finally got his food

his grip on you got slightly tighter as you hummed against his lips, feeling dizzy.

he finally pulled away ever so slightly to breath and smirked at you

"is that what you came here for, pretty lady?" he questioned

you took a second to catch your breath before answering

"yep" you breathed heavily, trying to act cool

"wanna do it again?" he chuckled

"yep" you repeated happily

"alright pretty lady, whatever you say"

---------------------------------------------------

@peachesgaeass

---------------------------------------------------

[carmenberzattosgf]

Doing a self care night w carm 🥺 he gets home after the lunch shift to find you bought a bunch of face masks and scrubs for you guys. You giving him a back massage and washing his hair. Ofc you take one of those classic coupley face mask mirror selfies™️. He lets you sit in his lap and trim up his eyebrows 😭

Jesus I just want to take care of him 🧎‍♀️

-🧸

Oh God you get it. You get IT.

The amount of times I have imagined doing my hair routine on Carmy… AH

Like walk with me here. He’s over at your apartment after work and you’ve convinced him to let you do all of your self care things on him.

You tell him the first thing you’re going to do is wash his hair. He’s already getting excited because he thinks you two are about to shower together, but that’s not what you have in mind.

“Come in the kitchen and lay on the counter by the sink. Imma go get the stuff I need from the bathroom.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m washing your hair in the sink. My mom did it for me all the time. It’s a lot easier this way. I already cleaned off the counter for you.”

You return from your bathroom with an arm full of hair products. Carmy is sitting on the countertop, waiting for your next instruction. “Okay, what is all of that for?”

“It’s hair products, Carm. I’ll explain it to you as I go.” You roll up a bathroom towel you brought with you and place it at the edge of the sink. “Can you lay down now?”

Once he’s settled, you turn the faucet on, feeling the temperature of the water with your finger. You use the sink sprayer to wet his hair. You begin by shampooing his hair. “This is a clarifying shampoo. It’s going to cleanse your scalp and your roots.”

“Are you saying my hair is greasy.”

“You do work in a kitchen, you know. Also let’s not ignore the fact you use two in one shampoo and conditioner.” Carmy doesn’t bite back, knowing you’re right. He closes his eyes while your fingertips massage his scalp.

“That feels really nice, baby.”

“Perfect. That’s the goal,” you reply, smiling at him as you rinse out all the shampoo. “Now I’m going to use a deep conditioning treatment. It’ll make your hair feel soft and healthy. It needs to sit for ten minutes, so why don’t you tell me about your day?”

Time goes by quick as Carmy tells you about work. Before you know it the timer on your phone goes off, and you rinse out the conditioner. “Thats it right?” Carmy asks.

“I gotta style your curls! I’ll be quick I promise.” You start to layer on different products, trying to be speedy.

“Okay what is all of this?”

“Oh, well I just put on a leave in conditioner. It does exactly what it sounds like. Right now I’m putting in a styling cream. That’ll keep your hair from being frizzy. Finally I’ll put in a mouse, which will help hold your curls without loosing any volume.”

“I’ve never used any of this before?”

“Carm, it’s a mystery to me how your hair looks so nice. If only you knew the daily struggles of a girl doing her hair.” You put the last touches on his hair, scrunching the product through his locks. “You’re all done now. It just has to dry. Ooo! Let’s do a face mask now!”

Carmy hops off the countertop and follows you to the living room where you already have a variety of sheet masks laid on the coffee table. “So do I just pick any of these?”

“Yep! Completely your choice.” Carmy instantly goes for the panda bear sheet mask. “I had a feeling you would pick that one,” you laugh.

You spend the rest of the night with Carmy watching his favorite shows while you do all of your skincare routine on him. He doesn’t even fight you when you sit on his lap to trim up his eyebrows.

I like to giggle and think that the staff notice the next morning that Carmy’s hair looks really nice and curly AND that his eyebrows are perfectly trimmed. He folds at some point and admits that it was all you, and he played zero part in it.

[drdemonprince]

in regards to the concept of abled people not existing/abled folks being expected to do more in relationships with disabled folks... You make some good points about us all being disabled in different ways and not recognizing it, but I still feel that there's quite a vsst gap materially between say, an ADHDer who can lift and push 50lbs easily/without pain and one who can't. And i have run into big roadblocks in relationships with other lefty types as the person who can't! And I think that expectation should be talked about and accepted more because I know a lot of "leftists" who would never think to apply this to stuff like doing the dishes because they're hellbent on everyone doing Equal Amounts. It's all fun and IG graphics about disability justice until they decide that youre Nonbinary roomate named sock who doesnt do the dishes etc etc , then see yourselves to the door!

You're absolutely right that there are differences in what various disabled people can do and the privileges that affords. It's glaringly obvious as a problem in Autism spaces, where people who can mask and speak like me are listened to and trusted and frequently talk over people who are nonverbal and cannot mask.

Even there, though, there are massive problems in attempting to rank-order someone's level of ability rather than just speaking specifically about these things in terms of privileges and oppressions. People assume I'm capable of all kinds of things I am not capable of, for instance, or hold me to ableist standards of productivity and ability because I "seem more capable. And Autistic people whose disabilities are more obvious have the opposite problem -- they are denied agency, presumed to be incompetent, not permitted to take on challenges they could find stimulating and worthwhile, and are dehumanized, etc.

And so where I'm getting with this is that we can't determine from the outside what a person is capable of doing, or what they should be capable of doing. It's not that far of a logical path to go from saying "Oh, this ADHDer is not physically disabled, they can lift 50 pounds, they can do a lot of things that I can't do" to saying "This ADHDer didn't unpack all our luggage for two weeks after our trip, they are lazy and not pulling their weight."

Someone might have the literal physical ability to do something in terms of strength or mobility, but not have the ability to complete a task because of the disabilities they do have (ADHD, in this case), and even if we are disabled ourselves we may be primed to see those people as lazy, uncaring, not pulling their weight, and all kinds of ableist interpretations.

So broadly I get your point, it is undoubtedly true some of us have abilities that others don't. but I think there's no way to put this idea into practice beyond just trusting people when they say they cannot do a thing, and not passing harsh judgement against people we think ought to be able to do a thing but don't (and maybe can't). This goes back to the original point of the discussion -- wondering why so many other people seem to fail disabled people and not show up for them.

To your second point, about a lot of even leftist people bringing therapy and instagram infographic "boundary setting" advice to their relationships and expecting all chores to be divided up equally, yeah that's a big problem and it's been a big problem in interpersonal relationships for many decades at this point. Most people overestimate the portion of the chores that they do, underestimate the work their partners or housemates do, and aspire to "equity" in a way that drives them absolutely crazy with score-keeping and resentment. There's a lot of research on how that outlook absolutely poisons heterosexual relationships and has done so pretty much ever since women started getting the ability to say no to a chore. It's a big problem of individualism under capitalism at its root, I think.

And the social change needed is much the same thing -- people need to learn to actually trust their loved ones when they say they cannot do the dishes, cannot clean the gutters, can't drop off the rent check, etc. I think a disability justice politics of raising everyone's class consciousness regarding their own disabilities and others is the way to go, and a massive strengthening of community ties.

[pedgito]

thinking about eddie and his obsessive care for his own hair and always asking you to hold it back for him during sex because he refuses to tie it up or cut it (18+ minors dni, i just wanted to write some eddie smut, it's been too long)

cw: lots of banter, unprotected sex, breeding kink (if you squint), this was just an excuse for me to write in length about his hair don't judge me.

you mention it on a night when he keeps pushing his hair away from his face, bangs getting a little too long for his liking as he shrugs his eyebrows in an attempt to shift it away from his eyes without being obvious. you laugh softly to yourself, poking his thigh with your toes from the other end of the couch.

“i can trim it, if you want.” you suggest, nodding toward his annoyance. his pupils shift upwards, nearly disappearing as he looks toward the mess of hair on his head. “or is that, like, off limits after last time?”

and to be fair, eddie couldn’t remember back to when he got a real haircut outside of taking a pair of tiny scissors to his bangs, praying he didn’t fuck them up and go too short.

he’d sworn off the idea of hat hair, so that was out of the question. eddie didn’t like to admit, but he cared immensely about his hair—always used the right products, the ones that were good for curls. he’s listened, time and time again, to take care of what lacking curl pattern he has left.

he doesn’t go for the two in one—never even thinking about grabbing for the three, it was the one unwritten rule. he’s got a special pair of shampoo and conditioner separate from wayne’s, washes about twice a week unless his shows get a little more crazy than intended, washing away the sweat and grime as much as he could.

he was known for being dirty—hell, his bedroom was a clear example of it, but after dedicating so much time to his hair and where it was now—he wasn’t that naive.

eddie doesn’t like to admit it, though.

but you realize fairly quickly that eddie really, really cares—a lot more than he lets on.

"i think i could go a few more weeks," eddie argues sweetly, noticing the quizzical look on your face, "i mean, it's not a problem yet."

"you stopping in the middle of sex to push your hair out of your face every thirty seconds is a problem," you counter, all in good nature as eddie laughs to himself, "and your hair ending up in my mouth--"

"okay, okay—" eddie interjects, "later, you can have your way with it."

and eddie trusts you enough to know you won't mess it up, just a little trim around his face and his bangs and cleaning up the ends—you've only done it once before and that was after week and weeks of bargaining. eddie eventually caved. and he didn’t hate it either.

but despite your obvious disdain from earlier, eddie still pounces on you the moment you both crawl into his bed that night, crowding your naked body underneath him as he slips inside you easily, a heavy sigh that mixes together from both of you.

he's got his head tilted down, eyes connecting with the sight of his cock disappearing inside of you with every pointed thrust he makes, mumbling something to himself quietly—

"hey," you nudge a finger at his cheek gently, slightly out of breath as you speak, "talkin' to yourself again?"

"sorry," he laughs deeply, "just—admiring the view."

you grin shyly, finger grazing his chin until he looks up at you, "well, i can't admire the view if i can't see your face, you know?"

because his hair is a perfect shield in moments like these, the locks curtaining his face.

"i've got a spare tie," you tell him, wiggling your wrist subtly, hoping he'd give in—just this once, "i know you hate them but--"

"just hold my hair back," eddie suggests, "you're always grabbing on it anyways."

you snort quietly, laughing to yourself.

"i'm not really in a hair pulling mood, eddie," you tell him, his hand reaching for your own despite that, "i mean, i know how much you love it—"

eddie brings the hair on the other side of his head to the side your hand is covering, allowing you to bunch it up in your hand as he adjusts himself slightly, thighs spreading on the sheets beneath you, and in turn, forcing your legs even further apart.

you gasp sharply, noting the sneaky grin eddie sports for a brief moment, his palms braced at your sides as he fucks into you once, twice, thrusts unrelenting and harsh as he bows his head again, this time giving you an unobscured view.

his jaw is tense where he's biting down, eyebrows threading together at the concentration he holds, breathing out forcefully through his nose as his pace quickens even more.

and if you had words, they were lost in your brain—feeling completely mindless as eddie slips a hand under your biceps, soothing the ache that grew from the angle your arm was in. you didn't care, because the look on his face was insurmountable to any discomfort you could feel.

"fuck, look at that," eddie encourages, eyes flicking up towards you briefly before trailing back down past your stomach, his free hand coming to rest against the joint of your hips, thumb pressed against your pubic bone. he's leaning over you heavily, his head nearly resting against the wall his bed was shoved up against, "—shit, i know you can hear it, swear you were made for me, sweetheart."

eddie laughs darkly at the slight tug on his hair as he switches angles, adjusting your hips up slightly so it hits deeper, aches with every thrust and you can't hold it together, eyes squeezing shut in an effort to regain your composure, but eddie's mission tonight was to be nothing short of difficult.

he leans down, lips touching your neck, breath ghosting over the skin as he speaks, "wish you could feel this," eddie groans, "feel how warm you are around me—so fuckin' tight too."

you breath, somewhere between a laugh and a sigh before eddie's lips are latching onto your neck, teeth digging in the skin lightly as he bites.

"no marks," you argue weakly, "we talked about this."

"sorry, baby," he apologizes softly, though it's far from genuine, "i'm so sorry."

and he can feel how close he is, the deep coil in his stomach tightening as he pulls you closer, your hands reaching up absently to cradle his face, finger tips slipping into his hair as you push it away, his lips parted and a deep, vibrant pink from how flushed he is, cheeks tinged a similar color. he's got a sheen of sweat over his forehead and his bangs are clinging there, slightly askew as he leans down, pressing it against your own.

"you're not," you reply quietly, tone harboring a moan that you wouldn't let slip, "fuck—i know you're not, eddie."

he chuckles brokenly, silently slipping his hand away from your bicep to cradle the mound of your cunt, his middle finger grazing over your clit in hurry, waiting for your subtle nod before letting go.

"gonna come with me, yeah?" eddie asks, slightly encouraging, his thrusts a little less rhythmic as he slows down to match your pace.

you nod with little energy, breath hiccuping as eddie applies more pressure, feeling your vision white out when you come, head tilting up as your back arches, riding out your orgasm against his hand, his eyes never once leaving your face, not even as he comes too, a deep and guttural groan as he's spilling inside you, mumbling the filthiest stuff imaginable, your face going hot at the words.

"so cute when you take my cum like that, sweetheart," eddie says softly, kissing the pulse at the side of your neck, the blood thumping underneath his lips, "—you can let go of my hair now."

you laugh weakly, chest heaving at the action as your arms fall limp, body overtaken by the exhaustion over your orgasm.

"i'll make you a deal," you start, catching his curious gaze as he looks up at you, forearms resting against the sheets as he hovers above you, "let me tame this," you point at his wild hair, mused from your hands, "and you can do as much of that as you want."

eddie huffs out a laugh, head falling in embarrassment. he couldn't help how easy it was to lose all sense of moral obligations and disregard actual real life consequences when it came to you—specifically you and sex, but he nods nonetheless, agreeing to your terms.

"we're so lucky you're on birth control," eddie jokes, "i'm sure there'd be a billion of me running around at this point."

you shrug, a smile stretching over your face.

"just a bunch of crazy little rambunctious toddlers with untamable hair," you consider, catching the smile glimpse of his teeth as he grins, "that doesn't sound too bad."

and he isn't even in the realm of thinking about kids, but the idea is nice, a thought that could help him escape from his own worrying.

"now," you announce softly, "shower, clippers, then bed. got it?"

eddie chuckles, falling against your dramatically as he groans loudly.

"yes, ma'am."

Please consider a reblog if you enjoyed this fic! It’s makes a huge difference. ♡

[weirdthinkingdragon]

At Least There's One

Mostly dainsleif x gn reader (honestly could be platonic or romantic)

I don’t remember if he knows who the archons are. Possibly slight ooc dainsleif. This also got out of hand 

Warnings: you get a broken forearm and mentioned other ways of being harmed

Not proofread

Thinking of sagau again. What if you started wearing a mask and they accepted it as you'd change your face if you could? 

They absolutely despised you from looking like their creator (who is actually you but neither they nor you knew that), and have called you every name and even some harm at some point. But at least they're sane enough to understand that faces are genetic from birth. (I also believe teyvat isn't progressed far enough for beauty stuff like plastic surgery, so they knew you COULDN'T change your face.) 

So one day you had enough and just… started wearing a mask of some sort. Even a simple bandana worn like a treasure hoarder's seemed to work. Sure, they still didn't like you very much, but at least they weren't physically hostile and you could actually buy some stuff for foods. You were getting quite sick of just berries and not the best cooked meat. 

You knew ingredients for the recipes from memorizing them from playing genshin, but most if not all don't tell you exactly how long to cook it, always making you overcook or undercook it and just never coming out right or tasting very good.  

That's all you wanted and you weren't ever coming into a place full of people again until you absolutely had to. Every time one of your favorites glare at you it hurts so much more. The only thing you want to do is search harder for a way back to your real world but that better be possible in the wild. 

In speaking of that, it's almost funny to you how willing places were to give you recipes and even ingredients for stuff like hair products when you informed you were planning on stocking up and want to stay out of cities and even towns as long as possible. 

While traveling and stocking up, you thought of the best place to be. Dvalin seemed to be rather kind to you that one time you ran into him, but you knew he was close to Venti and he’d visit Dvalin a lot. He’d… probably not like you hanging so close very much. 

Liyue has so many mountains and you do NOT want to push Zhongli’s patience, whatever it may be. You’d rather not die by a rock or spear. 

Which is also why inazuma is out of the question. You don’t know where the traveler is, and you don’t even know if the puppet’s been changed yet or not. 

Sumeru is an okay option, but running into the rangers would be annoying, and no way are you going to the desert. 

Fontaine would possibly be okay, but that’s so incredibly far from where you are in mondstadt that you decide not to. And past that you haven’t played or experienced so no going other places either. 

--------------------

Your bag is pretty much full as you go to leave. 

You’re distracted though and not looking in front of you, still thinking of where to go when you bump into someone. 

You look and know who it was immediately. You wonder because of who he is, would he act like the others or no?

He notices the glare the archon is giving you from quite a distance away. What could you have possibly done to make him not like you like this?

“Sorry! Wasn’t looking where I was going!” You were really worried you were about to be verbally beaten down again. 

“It’s fine. I forgot what I came here for anyways.” He didn’t, but he could just get it later. He left with you to spite the look the anemo archon was giving you. 

You two get a pretty far distance away from Mondstadt. “Care to explain why the archon seemed to hate you so much?” 

You decided the best way to tell was to show, and took off your mask. “Apparently I look like their creator?” You decided to continue with a lie in a way. “Which I wouldn’t know since I don’t really focus or care about gods or the archons or whatever.” 

He was astounded. That’s all? The only offense you’ve done is literally look like some fictional god or the “creator” he’s never seen or cared to read much about? He didn’t know the archons could find a way to be even worse. 

“I’m also looking for a place without people. No offense but uh, you seem like someone who’d know a good place for that.” 

He shakes off his slight stupor. “I usually don’t stay in a single place for long, but I do know a few.”

He leads you to a really isolated place that took a few hours of walking, but you managed. He even offered to help carry some of your items which surprised himself and you from knowing how he is. 

Your stomach rumbles loudly, embarrassing you. “Sorry. Sadly they wouldn’t let me order food and eat in the city.” 

He’s finding this situation more and more stupid. “That’s fine. Should be pretty easy to set a fire and make some food.”

It’s eventually made and you actually were able to follow a bought detailed recipe of a food you really wanted to try in the game. Looks just like it would. You offer some to Dainsleif which he relents and accepts after a bit of pestering by you. 

The first bite was the best thing you’ve tasted in literal months. It was so good you teared up.

A galaxy looking tear falls from your face, hardening into a solid mass as it falls onto your lap.  They’re not very small either. They somehow become triple in size of an average tear. Then another. And even a few more from just the delicious taste coming to you fall. You don’t even notice.

Dainsleif gets a very bewildered expression. He barely remembers reading about the so-called “creator” but that’s a sign of them that no matter what magic is used can’t be replicated. You… you’re really the creator he thought was fiction. And the strong believing archons… Even their people… He could almost laugh at the absurdity. 

One is still only half-made and sticking to your face. After another moment, it disappears like it was never there. The solid ones are still in your lap though.  

It wasn’t the last time you’d tear up either. A time not too long after that you were kidnapped after falling asleep. Dainsleif left to do who knows what, but you thought you’d be fine alone. 

They’re treasure hoarders. They’re not known to be very nice, and especially aren’t to you, who’ve they heard of as an imposter. While you were tied up one even went so far as to break your forearm. That hurt severely, making a few slip and them all stop dead in their tracks as a solid tear hit the ground. 

Thankfully Dainsleif saw them and you from coming back wherever he was. A protective urge formed from him actually rather liking you. The more he thought about it, the more he was open to liking you and having you as a god other than the archons and celestia. Why? Because being Human. That’s what you were, human. 

His mind made up you wouldn’t have had gods if you could. After all, you let Khaenri'ah form back then. There were gods, but if people didn’t want one, they didn’t have to believe in one. You let people be who they were, and he wouldn’t doubt you would have saved Khaenri'ah more if you could have. But he’s still here, so it isn’t fully gone. You let him stay the best of your abilities to spite the Archons. He likes you’re not all-powerful as well. At least not in this time you decided to come here. Maybe you needed to be human a while to get your strength back? 

Even if not the case, he now wants to be around you. To protect you the best he can, even if it isn’t the best. He also swears when he focuses on it that his curse feels slightly weaker when around you.

He injures them but doesn’t kill them. Just to send a message. 

The treasure hoarders end up letting the info slip next time they’re out of their disguises in mondstadt and liyue, making the two archons hunt you down do apologize for not believing you were. 

They surprisingly work together and find you and Dainsleif rather quickly. 

You’re laying on your back in the grass with your broken arm in a pretty poorly made cast and holding one of the solid tears in your other hand, turning and moving it to watch the sparkles like stars in it move as well. A part of you wishes you could bring one home with you. They’re actually really cool looking. 

Dainsleif tried his best to make a cast but obviously he’s not an expert in the medical field. He's resting as well fairly close to you. Honestly your thighs are almost touching. 

The archons notice and are quite envious. They glare at Dainsleif. 

He senses their presences and turns to look. Having you look as well.

They're shocked with the black shining item in your hand, and just realized all this time they were ignoring the real creator. Not again! They will NEVER ignore you again! “How dare you keep the creator to yourself.” Zhongli says harshly. 

What? You and Dainself share a rather incredulous look. Then go back to looking at the two archons again. 

This makes him hate the archons all the more. He didn’t really care about even the creator before, but at least he had and still has respects for them. And they really didn’t even think of finding a way to test it? Someone shows up for the first time ever in history with the face of the creator and they don’t question it?

How dumb, even the so-called gods themselves who were so beyond obsessed with you were too stupid to realize it was you. He finds it ironic. 

“Why would the creator want to be around any of you after the way you treated them?”

“But we didn’t know!” 

You just respond with an eye roll. You're not going back with them after the way they treated you. Not too long ago you encountered Dvalin again from temporarily staying by a place near the Stormbearer mountains. Dvalin even told you he'd try to tell Venti you're the creator but Venti must have ignored his friend. 

Dainsleif looks at the two archons like they’re stupid. “And… you didn’t bother to check? Even if you didn’t know, they could have still been a human you turned against, which is very unbecoming of an archon. 

You play right into the role, more time passing for you to accept it. "Precisely why I'm not going back. Why would I want to go with someone who'd turn against another just for them having a face of someone they know? I'm ashamed of you guys and your people honestly. If I wasn't the creator, you'd still treat me as nothing more than sand." 

"But-" Venti starts as you cut him off. Shame filling the two more by each of your words.

"I don't want to hear it. You made your Graves, now lie in them. I may not have powers now or ever, but that doesn't mean I should have been treated that way even as human. Leave." 

They did, but are planning ways to make it up to you. They have to have their creator with them, not some low-life like Dainsleif. If it comes down to it and they have to kill him to eventually bring you with them, then that's just what they'll have to do.

[lomltrentarnold]

my number one — trent alexander-arnold ₊˚ෆ

summary : the boys tried to surprise y/n with her celebrity crush but it didn't go as planned.

warnings : long fic kind of, half written, half smau, fem!reader, yeah just ignore anything that doesn't make sense okay babes <3 awkwardness, um yeah <3

🍓hana’s notes : okay!!!! it’s finally done!!!! im very happy how this turned out <3 let me know what you think and if you want something like this more cause i really enjoyed making it :))))) | MAIN MASTERLIST

( BETA SQUAD : GUESS THE FOOTBALLER FT TRENT ALEXANDER-ARNOLD )

“Turn right.”

You followed the directions of your phone and turned right into a street. A small box of cupcakes were sat at the passenger seat of your car as it filled the car with its vanilla scent.

Sharky texted you and said to come by at 12 but you felt nice all of a sudden and decided to come by early with the homemade cupcakes accompany you.

The boys didn't give you much information as to what they were doing today, they only said they were filming another Guess The Professional Footballer and that was it. You didn't think about it too much though because whatever the boys are planning its always going to come out a banger.

You arrived at the driveway of the building that they said they would be filming, you parked your car and took your bag — not forgetting the cupcakes too of course.

You opened your phone to look back at the text that Sharky has sent you about how to get in and where to go.

to sharky 🦈🤳

Y/N 💌

sharks, i just arrived at the place 🫣

sharky 🦈🤳

YOU'RE WHAT?!???

Y/N 💌

im at the location u sent 🤨

why you seem surprised???

sharky 🦈🤳

I told you to come at 12

And now its only 9

Y/N 💌

i got bored and wanted to see you lot

and i bought cupcakes <3

sharky 🦈🤳

HOLD UP

CUPCAKES??

YOUR CUPCAKES??

Yeah okay hold on I'll come and get you

Y/N 💌

nah its fine i can get there just wanted to explore for a bit

• • •

You put your phone in your pocket and walked to through the doors. Following Sharky's direction to their spot, you took your time glancing at the venue. It was an open space that leads to multiple football courts, some more bigger than the others and you were hoping the boys got a big venue for the Guess The Footballer video.

When you came close to the set you see a glimpse of someone you recognised and let out a breath of relief, "George!" you yelled out.

George turned his head at the voice and grinned, but for some reason it completely dropped. Now, you're confused. Why is everyone acting weird?

When you got to him you, you gave him a side hug as your other hand held the cupcakes. "Hey." you smiled. "Where are the others?"

George ever the sweetheart took the tray of cupcakes from your hand when he sees you struggling to hold it and answered, "They're getting mic'd up. I think we should wait before going in."

That made you furrow your eyebrows because you always sneak into their recording sessions without a problem but you understood either way.

You nodded your head, "Oh okay, let me put the cupcakes at the food table. Where is it by the way?"

George pointed the way, "Just around the corner. But before you leave—" before you could take back the tray, he sneakily (not really) took one of the sweets, "Thanks, Y/N. You're the absolute best!" he gave you a smile which make you chuckle.

You exchanged smiles with some of the camera and production crew, some were new and some aren't as you introduced yourself to them.

When you were at the table, your phone dinged as Niko's name flashed on the lock screen.

niko 🕶🦒

Y/N where are you?

Y/N 💌

at the snacks table

i'll be with you guys in a few

niko 🕶🦒

Y/N I need you to go to George right now.

Please!!!

Y/N 💌

lmfao why???

you lot are acting so weird today

weirder than normal

niko 🕶🦒

Please!!! It's important!!

Y/N 💌

OKAY OKAY RELAX

i’m going rn 🙄

• • •

You sighed and turned off your phone, not thinking too deep about it but then you suddenly felt someone tap your shoulder.

"Excuse me."

Your head has never turned so fast you think your meck cracked. Cause that voice. That scouse accent. You don't want to be delusional but you know exactly who that sounds like.

There’s no way.

Absolutely no way.

You quickly blinked. Your eyes must me deceiving you because there is no chance that the Trent Alexander-Arnold is right in front of you right now.

"No way." you breathed out.

"Sorry, what?"

You stare at him, mouth agape, "You're Trent Alexander-Arnold."

"That, I am." he nodded, his famous smirk coming into full motion and you can make out his dimples. Yeah, it’s definitely Trent.

Your mouth opened and close like a fish, "Am I dreaming? Is this a dream? Can you pinch me or something?"

Trent looked at you weirdly, and that only fuelled your embarrassment, before a knowing smile made its way to his face, "You must be Y/N, right? The boys told me a lot about you."

"Trent Alexander-Arnold just said my name. What the fuck?"

A deep chuckled rumbled in his chest, “Language.”

Your whole body was on fire. What is going on.

Trent leaned towards you, “May I?” he said, sending you an awkward smile.

“What?” your whole brain was mush. He was too close.

He gestured to the box of sweets, “The cupcakes.”

“Oh! right. Sorry.” you moved aside, eyes flickering all over the room instead of staring at him. But he’s so pretty and he smells nice and— That would be weird! Staring at someone without saying anything? Creep.

“Y/N!”

Multiple voices screamed your name. You turned your head only to be met with five familiar faces.

When you heard the sounds of footsteps running from behind you, you were more than thankful for the intrusion.

“Oh, hey.” you breathed out, still trying to calm your heart beat down knowing that Trent was hovering beside you.

“Damn it.” Chunkz was the first to say after they regained their breaths.

Niko slapped Sharky’s back, making him wince, “We told you to be in charge of her location!”

Sharky’s mouth gaped open, “I was! She suddenly decided to come early!”

“Damn.”

You looked at the boys weirdly, “What’s going on?” taking a few steps towards them, “And why didn’t you tell me your professional footballer was Trent?!” you harshly whispered. There was no need tho, Trent heard everything.

Kenny stepped beside you, “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“Surprise!” AJ cheerly exclaimed.

Shaking your head, you sent the boys a small smile, “Thank you, guys.”

Trent was silent the whole time this went down, which made you avert your eyes to him. Only to be surprised when his eyes were already on yours.

“Hi.” you softly muttered, hand shyly waving at him.

“Hey.” Trent sent you shy smile as well, your finished cupcake wrapper in his left hand as he extends his right, “Nice to meet you, I’m Trent.”

You introduced yourself, as your hand went to shake his. You could physically melt when his skin touched yours. This doesn’t feel real.

The boys looked back and forth between you both as they send knowing looks to each other when they noticed your lingering eyes and hands and how it was longer than necessary contact. What’s happening? Maybe this wasn’t a fail after all?

“Alright, then.” Niko cleared his throat, “We need to get filming.”

You nodded your head, deciding to walk beside Sharky and AJ.

“So?” AJ asked, looking at you with a questioning look.

“I am freaking out.” you whispered, hands clasping on Sharky’s hoodie.

They both laughed at your ‘trying to keep cool’ reaction.

You build up the courage to glance at Trent. He was talking to Chunkz, his side profile glowing with his dimples showing and you could feel your face became warm, and your sweaty hands where you both touched.

What the fuck is wrong with you. Stop looking. He’s gonna think you’re weird.

Trent turned his head, when he felt someone was looking at him. Your eyes widen when he looked at you, before swiftly looking away. Cute, Trent thought. Very pretty.

• • •

betasquad just posted!

betasquad Beta Squad FC’s newest signing 😍 plus we made a fan very happy ❤️ Check out our new vid!!!!

view all the comments!

niko You’re welcome @yourusername

⤷ yourusername i dont know who you are

sharky You owe us 😚

⤷ yourusername HELLO?? the surprise was a fail???

⤷ user5 babe you still met him 🤣

chunkz She was fangirling hard guys 😂😂

⤷ yourusername HUSH

kingkennytv I’m just happy I got the cupcakes!!

⤷ yourusername ken you’re an angel i love you

ajshabeel she was a make a wish kid guys!! we were nice enough to give her an opportunity of a lifetime 🫶

⤷ yourusername i actually hate you

user1 OH MY GOD

user2 Trent is soo fineee

user3 HOW DID Y/N REACT?????

user65 Y/N’S COMMENTS GOODBYE

user4 Did Y/N freak out?

⤷ user7 you need to watch the vid!! and stay until the end!

⤷ user8 they showed Y/N at the end

user5 the crossbar part was 😳😳😳

user6 Y/N didn’t post anything yet, is she okay????

user9 LMFAO THE END BIT

⤷ user13 IT WAS SO CUTEEEE

⤷ user10 im confused can someone tell me what this means?

⤷ user11 they asked Y/N to say play the trailer with Trent!!!!

⤷ user12 she was so shy 😭😭😭😭 it was so cute

⤷ user13 omg Y/N being shy???? this i have to watch

• • •

betasquadfan just posted!

betasquadfan OKAY before i talk about how good the new vid is can we please acknowledge how the boys tried to surprise Y/N with her celebrity crush but failed 😭😭😭 and how trent kept looking behind ONE SPECIFIC CAMERA THE ENTIRE TIME?!?!! and how her and trent said play the trailer together 🥹🥹 the boys are actually so sweet for that!

view all the comments!

user98 omg i thought i was the only one who noticed!!!!

user76 he was def looking at Y/N which- same Y/N is pretty asf

user09 And the crossbar part 😍😍

⤷ user18 the first thing he looked was AT THAT CAMERA which i am 96% sure Y/N was behind

⤷ user5 bye thats so hotttt

⤷ user16 he was trying to show off 🙄🙄 trying to win our mother over 🙄🙄

user6 Trent is so obvious that you’re in love with Y/N like we are 🤣🤣

user24 Y/N was so shy in the vid PLEASE I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER LIKE THAT

⤷ betasquadfan FR!!!! like babe you’re the baddest bitch around?? but also IT WAS TOO CUTE

⤷ user4 it was weird to see Y/N like that since she’s always so confident but it was also nice to see her smitten 🫶

• • •

yourusername just posted a story!

trentarnold66 replied to your story.

It was nice meeting you ☺️

Your cupcakes were amazing!

Maybe we could meet again for coffee?

As a date? ☺️

reblog to support! <3

[tzuyusluv]

❥ That Feeling When

genre → fluff

pairing → enhypen x reader

warnings → lots of fluff

word count → 0.7k

summary → enhypen and how they give you partner privilege

Heeseung | Letting You Play On His Account

“Hyung, can I use your account? Jay hyung banned me from video games until I can get my homework done.” Neither of you can hear Niki come into Heeseung’s room. “Ewww what are you doing?” You both turn to the youngest who’s making a disgusted face. “What did you need Niki?” “Can I borrow your account pleaseeee.” He drags the please, hoping being the youngest gives him some points. “Sorry bud, I’m busy showing them how to play. Maybe later.” Niki slowly realizes that the reason Heeseung’s account points are so low is because he’s been letting you play on it. “Is that why you’re account is so low ranked?! You always have to watch me to make sure it doesn’t go to low!”

Jay | Letting You Pick Dinner

The specific ringtone you sent for Jay starts to emit from your phone. Picking it up and setting it on speaker, you can hear faintly the maknae line screaming at something. “What’s going on over there?” You giggle, making Jay’s heart melt. “I don’t have a clue.” It does silent for a few seconds while Jay’s making the members some snacks and while you wash your dishes. “What do you want for dinner?” Just as you’re about to answer, you’re interrupted by who you think is Jungwon yelling that no one else gets to choose dinner and only you can. Jay shouts back at him that he doesn’t always let you choose dinner. “Babe, you’ve had me choose dinner everyday last week, let the boys choose for once.” You can tell Jay’s pouting by the tone in his voice. “But I don’t love them like I love you.”

Jake | Letting You Wear His Clothes

“Jake! Where’s that one black shirt that I gave you? I need to wear it tonight!” Jay’s voice echoes throughout the dorms. “Is it not in the closet?” Jake yells back. “No I already checked!” Jake soon realizes where the specific shirt is. “Oh! Honey bear probably has it.” He whispers to himself. “I don’t have it!” He yells to Jay. “They probably did a closet raid!” Jake doesn’t even have to say your name for the boys to know exactly who he’s talking about. “I literally bought that shirt for you! Why do they have it?” Jake smiles at the polaroid of you two in the back of his phone case. “I just can’t seem to say no to them!” “But you can to us?” Sunghoon suddenly joins the conversation. “No comment!” Jake yells back through his giggles.

Sunghoon | Letting You Wear His Jewelry

Sunghoon shudders when he can feel Heeseung’s glare on him after you leave. “So wanna explain why I can’t wear your jewelry but your significant other just came in with your necklace and favorite ring?” The other boys watch on as Heeseung interrogates Sunghoon. “I umm,” Sunghoon stutters. “It because he’s in love with them.” Sunoo interrupts the conversation watching on as Sunghoon’s cheeks become red due to the (true) accusations.

Sunoo | Letting You Use His Skincare Products

The other six watch on horrified as you use Sunoo’s moisturizer. “You do know he doesn’t like it when others touch his skincare, right?” Humming in confusion, you look over at the others for an explanation. “He always yells at us when we even breath near it!” You can tell Niki is being dramatic about it. Just as you’re about to say something, Sunoo interrupts. “Well you guys are you and they’re them!” “So you’re saying you don’t love us?” Niki’s voice has a fake sadness to it. “Well….” Sunoo’s interrupted by the yells of the other six.

Jungwon | Letting You Take Care Of Him

You can feel the others eyes on you when Jungwon nuzzles his head into your neck. “Why do you guys keep looking at me, I don’t like it.” You whisper as to not interrupt sick Jungwon, who’s peacefully sleeping on top of you. “We’ve never seen him that relaxed, even when sick, normally he’s yelling at us with that leader voice.” You merely hum. “Did he eat the soup I made for him?” You can hear Jay ask. You nod your head yes. “How did you get him to eat it?” Sunghoon asks in absolute confusion. “I didn’t have to do anything, he just listens to me.” The boys are about to protest when Jungwon’s small voice says your name while snuggling closer.

Niki | Never Scaring You

“How do you put up with him?” Jay’s question came as surprise to you. “What do you mean?” Jay’s eyebrows furrow when he can hear the confusion in your voice. “With Niki, how do you put up with scaring you constantly?” He watches as you realize what he’s talking about. “Niki’s never scared me before.” Jay’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Never?” “Never ever.” You confirm. “Oh my god, Heeseung was right, he does favor you!”

©️tzuyuluvs | Pease don’t translate, rewrite or blatantly steal any of my content.

[tender-emotional-music]

Guys, I truly do not get byler doubt over things like this. Some leaker said “Mike and Will do not have a romantic relationship in Stranger Things 5.” Okay, let’s look at that, because I know the tag will go into a frenzy anyway.

This guy has been right about Marvel leaks in the past. He has also been wrong. The vibe I get is that a lot of leakers build up credibility by saying things which are correct or easily predictable, meaning they have more leeway in the future to make things up for clout and still have people believe them. The byler plot is very contentious and is guaranteed to get attention if you post anything about it, so I don’t really believe people who are being loud and open about it on twitter with broad, unspecific claims. A good example is the RejectedScooper guy, who had the Will’s love interest leak. He also made claims like “Will’s love interest is a boy” (duh), “the UD merged with Hawkins” (popular theory given that’s what the final s4 shot indicates), and “the military is still after El” (another popular theory). He makes believable claims that might end up being right, but that doesn’t mean he ever had inside knowledge. A lot of leakers are like this

The very phrasing of this is weird. Thanks @merth-or-nothin for pointing it out, but legit leakers will give information on what IS happening, not what isn’t, since they often lack context and filming isn’t even done, so there’s half a season missing. If byler truly wasn’t happening, they’d say “Mike and El are still together in episode 4,” or “Will meets a new boy.” They wouldn’t make a broad “this doesn’t happen” statement. They would provide a scene that DOES happen which leads them to that broader conclusion

I don’t have my own direct confirmation on this, but I’ve seen many people say that everything is extremely locked down this season, and that’s why it’s hard for people to get leaks. I think I even saw a screenshot where someone asked Noah on tik tok for a video on set and he said they’re being extra strict this season. There have been other claims, like cast and crew members getting redacted versions of the scripts that only contain their parts (standard practice in productions like this) people being instructed to leave the set as soon as their part is done, and the Duffers overall being very tight-lipped. Even Millie had to beg the writers to know what El’s ending is. The only people who know the ending of the byler plot are probably the main cast and writers, and high-up members of the production team. Their NDA’s must be so tight. I don’t see how some random leaker would have that info just because he had marvel leaks in the past. If I had info about a sensitive spoiler, I wouldn’t be yelling about it on twitter either. I’m not sure about how the legal process works here, but I feel like you’d get into some sort of strife.

I’ve seen byler-positive and byler-negative leaks. Chances are a lot of them are wrong. Maybe some are right. Who knows? They’re very contradictory, so I think the only conclusion I’m taking away from it is that people like the attention posting byler “spoilers” gets them, and no one has a straight story (no pun intended) regarding what is happening next season, so I’m likely to take most things as fake, especially broad claims like this one

[project-sekai-facts]

i recall some kind of theory or pointing out of the fact that tsukasa's focus sets have had him getting less and less authority each time, and with the role of a minor character, it seems to have been intentional

oh i remember a lot of players on JP and KR side pointing that out when Phoenix released! and yeah I think it's definitely true

he went from king -> commoner -> jester/circus performer (for the king) -> a shadow

actually i have a lot of thoughts about his new card and i doubt this set will get an official blog post so i might just ramble a bit. (ftr: haven't read the event yet, sekai.best isn't updating and i surprisingly haven't really found anything from looking through JP/KR side either). specifically, i have a few thoughts about tsukasa being a shadow in this card because it's actually way more than that. oh to be a media student

first off the costume name: phantasmagoria. according to wikipedia, this was an old form of horror theatre that involved projecting scary images. (it's quite interesting actually you can read the article here). the effects in phantasmagoria productions would be done using magic lanterns, the ones you slide a disc with a picture into so it projects it onto a wall. usually, they'd use rear projection, where the lantern is placed behind the surface it's being projected on (so the surface would usually be smoke or some sort of semi-transparent screen) to keep up the illusion (rear projection is how old movies did backgrounds for reference).

now here's where the light in the card comes into play. for starters, rear projection clearly isn't being used here because he's on the stage-thingy (that will be relevant later). also instead of the light shining at him as if he were the subject being projected, it's shining down on him. while partially this was definitely done in part for composition cool points (the composition on this card is so fucking good actually it has nothing to do with symbolism but like holy shit), it's very reminiscent of a spotlight. as i said, i haven't had the chance to read the event yet but i'm assuming this will connect with him having to play a minor role (or play the shadow as the gacha says) and still putting himself in the spotlight.

i like that idea actually because if you link the fact he's standing in the spotlight that means he is still casting a shadow. it may appear to the viewer as if he's the centre of attention - he's right in the light, literally hitting all the composition marks to make him the sole focus of the card - but he's still just a shadow in a larger phantasmagoria. and actually, the spotlight sort of goes around him, he's pretty much cast in darkness despite being in the light and i love how that reflects him being part of a smaller role or "shadow". he stands in the spotlight and puts on a great show no matter if he's truly the star.

lastly: the pose. now look at this 4koma where he does a bird pose:

familiar? while in this 4koma he's meant to be imitating an eagle, i can't help but notice some striking similarities in how he's posed.

also the gacha has a feather! specifically a black one. unfortunately since there are no actual birds on the cards, nor are there feathers, I can't tell you exactly what bird he is meant to be..,

although if you wanted to really grasp at straws then his last event was called Towards the Phoenix at the Sky's Edge the play from that event was called Happy Phoenix and both the play and the lead role in it are incredibly significant to Tsukasa personally and he ended up cast as the lead role in that play and even though the lead role isn't the phoenix that bird is still significant to him in some way.

also going all the way back to the original point of his class decreasing with every set i think while yes in this set he has been reduced to nothing more than a prop, or even less so a mere shadow, but at the same time if you chose to go with that incredibly reachy phoenix idea, it's a comeback. the phoenix rises from the ashes, tsukasa can be reduced to nothing and still be the star owning the spotlight, the most powerful one in the room. hell, he's still on a stage despite everything. i think it's super neat actually that despite this being him at the lowest rank, he's actually in the place where he belongs.

i believe i've only briefly mentioned it in passing on this account before, but theatre is his life. above all else Tsukasa is an actor and the stage is where he thrives. i think it's so interesting how with each set he loses authority, but he also gets closer to being on the stage. the king is at (well, near) his castle where he leads (link to WMS), Torpe is at his piano where he performs (link to Dazzling Light), the Jester is at the circus where he performs, and then you get the one that's hardest to define as any set character. it's not a king or a pianist or jester, it's just some performer on a stage. this time there's no character, and it's not just "some performer" because this is tsukasa. it's still another role, but this time the role is, as the event synopsis states, more "real". this is tsukasa where he belongs, he never needed any sort of power or to play the role of another performer in order to shine because he himself is a performer at his core. Torpe is a performer, but Torpe is not Tsukasa. Tsukasa is Tsukasa, and Tsukasa is a performer. Something like that.

sekai.best please update

[wordsnstuff]

Hi!

I have reached out to more people, but I'm still having problems with this, and I wanted to hear another opinion.

As a writer, do you have problems continuing a story once you hit a difficult scene?

Because I do, and honestly it's getting me frustrated at this point.

I have a good idea and a plot already done, but every time I hit a difficult scene I just get stuck, and can't write for weeks, sometimes months. I hardly even open the documents when it happens, and sometimes it comes right when I'm on a writing spree and being happy with my writing.

Do you have any advice on how to deal with this? How can I get past this issue and just keep writing more frequently?

I'd really like to hear it!

What do you do when you hit a snag?

When approaching this topic, the frustrating thing is that age-old advice has a lot of truth to it. Sometimes it is true that the best thing you can do when you're stuck is to stop struggling against the resistance and take a meaningful, intentional break to rest your mind and reset your thought process. Sometimes the key to getting started again is shaking up the routine and the altering the process until you find a new combination of habits that meet you where you are.

However, for a lot of us, the turmoil reaches deeper than that. A lot of people who do creative things are neurodivergent, so that has a place in the conversation when discussing what's preventing us from realizing our vision. Even if you don't identify with specific neurodivergence, there are a lot of tools and techniques that have been tried and tested for coping with immense, intrinsic difficulty with things like productivity, mindfulness, interoception, focus, and consistency. Just because these techniques are not specifically designated for you doesn't mean they won't be effective for you.

It is always a helpful exercise to take a step back and examine how you're feeling, both when you are writing and when you aren't, and try to identify any areas where you might be able to improve by changing things within your control.

When it comes to a specific scene holding you back from carrying on, I usually find that it's the result of a decision I made earlier in the plot that isn't serving the story as it continues to develop. I would take a chunk of time to take an analytical look at the scene, where it's come from, what is and isn't sparking in it (is the stagnation mostly due to the characters, events, environment, or lack of information, and is it a scene that is imperative to the reader's understanding?). A lot of the time, it's a scene that can be cut, or it's a scene that can be made redundant by infusing the necessary information of the scene into another place within the story.

If you've identified a scene as "a difficult scene", ask yourself why. If it's daunting because it's too long, then it can probably be cut way down and then added to later if while editing it seems a little thin. If it's challenging because things aren't falling into place and you aren't getting into a flow, then the set-up for the scene probably hasn't been developed effectively and you need to decide whether you're gonna go back in the draft to investigate or move on and return to it while editing.

If the information in the scene needs to be communicated at this specific point in the story, the problem might be the way you've chosen to present it. Pay attention to what your instincts are telling you, because pushing through a scene for the sake of getting past it will not produce a compelling scene to read. If you need to move past it, you have permission to do that. You can always come back and completely dig it up later.

Overall, I think it's very important to write with acceptance that the plot may not turn out the way you planned it. The process is much more effective and much more enjoyable if you aren't trudging along on a predestined path. If the characters and story develop outside of the lines, see where they go. You'll always have the opportunity to return to the outline and tailor later.

Best of luck,

x Kate

[sorrygotthesesacks]

Yes, yes, more Stolitz thoughts.

Most of which were eaten up earlier due to an internet glitch when I was still trying to sort out how my thoughts tied to Striker and then my draft never saved.

Of course, we all know that Blitzø is absolutely horrible at expressing emotions. His walls are high, thick, and nearly impenetrable. That's a given. Even Stolas mentions the walls in Just Look My Way.

But Stolas is just as self-sabotaging as Blitzø. He doesn't mean to be (Blitzø, maybe just a little, out of a sense of self-preservation). And a lot of it is the product of his upbringing.

We know that his bottle of anti-depressants was empty, and others have pointed out that may have been a factor in Stolas' reaction (how Stolas' happy pills work in hell, who knows. I know that one missed dose of an SSRI/SNRIs would not be enough to cause him to be more emotionally fragile*, but at the very least, we can allow Stolas a placebo effect in feeling even more ill equipped when he's already a ball of nerves - so much so that he vomits as soon as he wakes).

*(EDIT: not necessarily, at least, but regardless, Stolas is a mess + now he's extra extra anxious)

Let's take a look at how Stolas, without intending to, is the one with the steering wheel on this.

He is afraid. He is deathly afraid of losing Blitzø when he sets him free. He is in his own head, and has been in his own head, since he came to this decision.

He can't take it back, but considering where they are, that isn't a bad thing. It's not the what, it's the how.

Well. We know they both fucked this up.

But my point is about the "I'll set us free" line. Emphasis on the "I" as in this is what Stolas is doing, all by himself.

Of course, we know that Stolas is coming at this genuinely - and we know that he truly loves Blitzø and has done his best to drop hints left and right.

We also know that Blitzø does not see himself as lovable, so of course he will not be picking up what Stolas is putting down.

We know this.

Blitz does not.

Let's think back to how resilient Blitzø is in most cases. He has built this shell around himself and protects the vulnerable parts of himself with barbs and insults and witty rejoinders. He is not afraid to kick ass and take names, and who recognizes that Blitzø isn't like typical imps?

Striker, that's who. (Argh, please ignore the fact that the CC does not know Blitz's name.)

But the thing that made me really think of Striker is that, despite his own personal grudges against the royals, he made a very strong (bloody and violent) point with Stolas and sadly, Stolas wasn't able to extrapolate this to Blitzø.

Stolas did not deserve this, but he definitely struck a nerve with Striker, who just got done telling him how "some of us" have had everything taken away from royals like Stolas.

Stolas has never been kidnapped before, and any abuse heaped on him by Stella is nothing like what Striker is doing here. He hasn't had his powers stripped from him. And of course, both his power and station place him above the imps. Even though he doesn't see it! Even though he bows to Blitzø, who he sees as an equal, but doesn't act as if they are equals, not to Blitzø.

I hate Striker for hurting my dear sweet owl boy, but I do get his anger here.

And thinking of that, it's painfully ironic that Stolas does exactly that to Blitzø.

Which is how we got to this point.

Stolas has deemed himself unworthy of Blitzø's love, despite wanting it so desperately. And yes, Blitzø was a total dick for the whole role playing and saying I love you as a fucking joke - but this is how Blitzø deals with his emotions. He doesn't just tamp them down, he buries them before they can hurt him - and still, we see him begging Stolas - pleading his case, that he can do better.

He doesn't want to lose the book, but he really doesn't want to lose Stolas, and if this relationship between them isn't what he has believed it's always been, there is more of a chance to be hurt by opening up.

Fuck.

I totally get Stolas jumping to the conclusion that Blitzø does not think very highly of him at all. He has no idea how Blitzø has lamented to Fizz how he believes that Stolas only wants one thing from him. He doesn't dare believe it's more / can't possible see that it could ever be more.

And I would be so crushed by Blitzø's reaction, too, if I was Stolas, and I'd just poured my heart out, splayed everything on the floor, to be trod upon.

I get it. I would probably do the same exact thing. Stolas has already built up the rejection in his head, but still very much hoped for his feelings to be reciprocated, instantly, honestly, and passionately. He has been on the receiving end of passion in the physical sense so it makes sense that he'd expect for more. I absolutely get that and do not hate Stolas for this at all.

(And someone pointed out that Stolas once put his cigarette out on Blitzø - but like - that was his horn? Which seems to be like horse hooves and YOU KNOW HOW MUCH BLITZØ WOULD LOVE BEING COMPARED TO A FUCKING HORSE! Ahem.)

It hurts so much to see these two, who both deserve to be loved, who want to be loved, to fumble so violently through their own issues and not just stepping but jumping up and down on the land mines that are each other's baggage. Even knowing that in the end, this will make their bond stronger, it hurts.

But I am so happy when I see so many people getting that we can't put the blame solely on either one of them. The beauty of their relationship is all the complicated stuff that Blitz hates.

Which I hate, too.

But also, I really really love it.

It's complicated.

(Cue the Avril Lavigne song.)