#you're so helpful and get us amped the fuck up and excited!

[smurphyse]

If you don't think that fanfic writers get attached to their commenters and repeat commenters... you're crazy.

There's people who comment on my stories, disappear for months at a time, then comment when they catch up and I almost always remember their tagnames. It means the WORLD to me as a writer to have people who comment both regularly and irregularly on my stories/oneshots/moodboards.

When you guys go away for a few weeks or months... we notice! We hope you're okay and just taking a break, and when you come back rested and excited to read more stories, we're so happy to have you back.

So yes, please comment on stories even if it's once in a blue moon. You're not annoying, you're not overbearing for multiple comments or being super excited. You're helping fuel a writer to keep writing just to see what you have to say next about the next chapter! You're doing the Lord's work with your comments!

Whether you leave a Russian novel in a comment, or just go "noice", like... it makes the writer brain go !!!!!!💞

[fanficguy]

Yo! Can you do how toy animatronics would react to a darling who is surprisingly affectionate after being kidnapped? Would they be suspicious of y/n's actions? Are they more lenient knowing they wouldn't leave?

yandere toys x affectionate post-kidnapping gn reader

notes- I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED SO MUCH OF IT IM FUCKING CRYINF WTF I HATE THIS SM GOD I WANNA BANG MY GODDAMN HEAD IN TE SIDEWALK THIS SUCKS SM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

warnings- mangle + puppet uses all pronouns, obessive and delusional behavior, possesive and forceful behavior, other yandere things, some violence here and there

=========

Toy Freddy ♩

♩ freddy probably is rlly happy about this!! he's excited and thinks you love him so he'll loosen up a bit. he'll even let you out of his sight now!

♩ he will get a little lot more possesive though since after all, you love him don't you? freddy would probably start being aggresive to his colleagues if they even got around your area.

♩ freddy will start forcing more prolonged affection compared to how he used to be, i mean he was affectionate but he will really amp up on it. it might even be a bit forcefull at times, but if you deny he'll get annoyed so you just have to tolerate it.

♩ a good thing though is that he probably won't be as occupied on getting you to like him! he'll even start getting you more grand gifts now, usually stuff by him or stuff he found in the lost and found(nobody'll notice anyways).

♩ expectedly freddy also gets more obsessive, he might start commenting on things you do, whether you realize he saw you doing those things or not. you wouldn't mind though right?

Toy Bonnie 𖦹

𖦹 omg he becomes so much more of a snobby duchebag because of this. i applause you for even tolerating bonnie, anyways. even though he is sucking up this attention a lot, he would be a little suspicious though. he kidnapped you and you barely even care?

𖦹 bonnie would probably get over being suspicious of you quickly though. he'll turn into kind of a show off though, he'll start telling everyone how much you must love him.

𖦹 he might start dragging you around more, like he already did but it's practically all the time now.

𖦹 bonnie will start forcing affection but less than freddy, he will start whining if you even think of the concept of getting up and leaving him, he probably wouldn't physically harm you for it but he's a BIG manipulator.

𖦹 bonnie starts being kinda softer though, he will let you get away with some things if you give him a hug! bonnie might even let you be alone for an hour at night if you give him enough affection, make sure to abuse that power!

Toy Chica ↯

↯ chica will probably take awhile to change her sadistic demeanor(which'll never change but can be softened!), it's so worth it when chica starts changing though!

↯ she'll probably be a bit curious on why you're being affectionate, she even tries to ruin any attempts by shoving you off her but eventually decides to just leave it be and start taking in the nice feeling.

↯ after trying to ruin it she'll decide you mold it into something similiar but a little more rough and painful. chica starts biting you when the two of you cuddle and doesn't let go until she's bored(she always makes sure you bleed too).

↯ chica also will be really forceful with how she touches you, not that she wasnt but now it's even more prolonged.

↯ chica will probably never change into a soft or gentle idividual but she will learn to be affectionate in her own cruel kind of way, she likes it this way.

Mangle ❥

❥ mangle would be a little scared tbh both because of concern for your health and also because he isn't used to this. i mean, they have wires and all sorts of things out in the open, you could get shocked and get hurt on accident!

❥ she learns to love it though, it's a really gentle and comforting feeling for them that they can't help but love. mangle's sure to be really careful of you though!

❥ mangle would definitely start snapping or growling at the others if they even get near you now though, even lunging at them if they bother you guys during affectionate hours.

❥ they'll definately start growing more lenient of you, mangle starts letting you leave his sight at night most of the time! oh but mangle will definitely return to you all bloody from the night guard and starts asking for affection.

❥ mangle will grow sad if you deny them any affections, they really grew dependent on you don't you realize?

Marionette/Puppet

❦ puppet’s not necessarily surprised but he didn’t expect this either, they’re happy though! They really like you being affectionate. :)

❦ she won’t make a big deal on the outside but on the inside he’s all squealing and kicking his feet.

❦ it makes him more protective definitely! he might not like you being outside her box for more than like 20 minutes now, and as soon as you’re back the puppet needs some hugs.

❦ you’re her little source of sunshine tbh, puppet really finds it cute when you’re all affectionate and whatnot.

❦ puppet probably would spend all the time cuddling with you now, he’s always really gentle and affectionate back 10/10.

[hoekagespet]

Good luck and I hope your diet and routine works well for you~ If I may be so bold in teasing or just giving you something hot to read~?

Could you imagine training or exercising with toys or someone else in the mix? Running with your irresistible ass plugged up or a vibe in between your legs that I can turn on or amp the intensity for, making you mess up or get tired easier but then making you go again or do your routine over and when you finally do it, you nearly collapse but I catch you and praise you for doing so well, for being such a good girl and how I'm proud of you~ And I offer to help lead you into the shower room to clean off all the dirt, sweat and grime from training and exercising so~

Your arm wrapped around my neck as I help you walk into the room, one arm around your waist and the other holding onto your arm for good foundation but my hands get tempted now and then to go lower and grope and feel up your ass while you're vulnerable and so easy to use but I shake the thoughts out of my mind as I lead you inside~ But by that point I can't help it or resist and I relocate you ontop of the sink counter and my lips clash into yours before you could rebuttal~ It giving you some extra height, just enough for our faces to meet eye level as we get lost in the haze of pleasure, my hands are full on roaming now~ Cupping and pinching your nipples, teasing your chest through your sports bra and rubbing circles around your workout shorts that cling so tightly to your perfect, irresistibly thick ass that I can't wait to put some 'exercise' of my own deep inside of you but first I'll make you addicted to me, my scent clashing with yours as we're both sweaty and fresh off a workout but still getting hornier by the minute as I mark your neck with bites, leaving them with hickies before helping you take off your bra and sucking and worshipping your boobs while my other hand has slipped in between your legs, inside of your shorts and fingering your slowly but surely, soaking wet pussy, I can hear you panting and breathing heavily, your eyes half lidded as you beg for more as I tease your clit before stretching your cunt out, one finger at a time~ Before making you cum violently all over my fingers and giving you a taste before we kiss briefly again and I decide I can't wait any longer~ Helping you into the shower and turning the head before primally tugging and forcing your shorts down and grinding the tip against your entrance and fingering your tight ass with my cum covered fingers~ The water raining down on us both as I finally slam my throbbing, eager cock inside of your pussy, gripping your the back of your head and pinning you to the wall to keep you outright as I eagerly fuck and breed you like an animal in heat~

Making you whine and scream into the ceiling, your eyes rolling back in pleasure as you become nearly incoherent and moaning for me to go harder, faster, deeper~ Begging to bred like a good little whore for me~ My breeding bitch~ Mine~

I can't wait to have such a steamy fun session with you darling but perhaps aside from once in a while I should limit how much I get involved...or else we wouldn't get anything done but me leaving your tummy full and your pussy leaking my seed all while I was lubing and prepping your ass for rough anal until you passed out in a heap and I'd help carry you home after all the stimulating, overwhelming pleasure~ 😈

Well that’s one way to get me excited to exercise

[ageoffeet]

My Heart, Your Hands - A Jake Kiszka Fic

A/N: So I'm going to be adding parts to this and I'm honestly excited to see where it'll go! I've had this idea for a while and I'm finally writing in down. This first part doesn't contain a whole lot of gvf, it's more of an introduction of what's to come.

synopsis: slow burner fic with Jake Kiszka x fem!reader. Greta Van Fleet invites your band to open for them on tour.

word count: 1.2k (short and sweet to start off)

content warning: mentions of alcohol, cussing, brief mentions of sex, sibling bickering.

taglist: @way-to-go-lad @flowervanfleet (if you want me to add or unadd you from my taglist just let me know!)

Your fingers plucked the strings of your bright yellow bass and your foot tapped along to the notes that came pouring out of the amp.

"Hey, can you help with my drum set?" Jack sets down his snare and walks away, not giving you a chance to answer. Not your fault he has to put his set together every gig, especially when he acted like an ass in the van on the way here. You reluctantly swing your bass strap over your head and set your pride and joy on the stand.

"Y/N!"

"Oh my god, I'm coming!" You set off into a half jog towards the back exit where you parked the van. Miles gives you an equally frustrated look and continues helping Jack lug the pieces of his set out of the back of the van.

You just landed in Nashville, the last stop on your little America tour. This little band you started with your brother (Jack) and mutual friend (Miles) really started taking off after Miles graduated from high school so you all planned a "tour" which was more of a road trip with gigs at bars along the way. It had gone surprisingly well so far with more and more followers finding your socials and Spotify every week.

"Hey, are you guys MHYH?" You look toward the voice at the same time as your bandmates and nod. You guys thought your band’s name was cool but people hardly ever said the full name, preferring to use the acronym instead.

"Yeah, you coming to watch the show?" Miles turns away from Jack handing him another part of the drum kit to engage with the olive skinned girl standing at the opening of the alley.

"For sure! I was wondering if I could request a song of yours that might not be on your setlist." Miles smiles and walks away from Jack and I and towards the pretty girl. Jack lets out a loud huff and rolls his eyes at Miles' back.

"Fuck boy," he mutters. You laugh at his annoyance and pick up where Miles left, grabbing cymbals and stands and bringing them inside.

"I'm serious. He better be back in time for sound check." You set down what you're holding and turn towards Jack.

"You're just jealous you couldn't go talk to her first."

"Well I was crouched in the back of the van like a cave man." Jack was used to getting all the girls since Miles had been in a serious relationship but in the past month, things went sour between Miles and Katie so now Jack had some competition.

"I'm sure there will be plenty more at the show you can talk to." As much as Jack's banter was entertaining you, you couldn't get the sad thought out of your mind that this was your last show on this tour. With all the money you guys spent on gas and food, you barely broke even with tips and your share of ticket profits. It would be a while before you guys could afford to do this again.

Instead of watching Jack put together his drum kit, you decide to pick up your bass again and start plucking out the beginning notes of your most recent song, singing along in your head.

“I told you I had to leave this town

heaven knows you'll be alright

need to get away from here

start focusing on my own life”

"So Denim Dreams has been requested," Miles hopped up onto the small stage and started taking his guitar out of its case.

"Ew dude," Jack pauses setting up his snare to reply. "That's our worst fucking song."

Miles just shrugs with a ghost of a smile on his face and Jack sighs.

"If you make me play that song you better at least be getting laid tonight." You laugh at the two boys and turn to face them fully.

"We need to make our setlist." The three of you always waited right before a show to make the setlist but with thirty minutes to go before the doors opened, you were pushing it tonight.

"Fuck, I forgot we didn't do that yet. Y/N you're the lead singer, it's your job." You roll your eyes and grab your phone from your back pocket to make an impromptu setlist in your notes app.

"Make sure Denim Dreams makes it on there for our beloved fans," Jack replies, sarcasm dripping from his tongue. Miles flips him off and they both laugh at their bickering.

After you're happy with how the setlist looks, you pass your phone to Jack and then Miles to get their approval.

"Looks good, y/nic." Miles goes quiet for a moment. "Let's make this a show to remember, it'll probably be a while before we get to be on a stage again." You note the sad look in his green eyes and solemnly nod your head in response.

Your manager, aka another one of your mutual friends with a degree in business, hops on the crowded stage and hands you a beer.

"Thanks, Kay." After promptly taking a long gulp from the cold bottle, you give her a smile. She was the first one to suggest you guys needing a manager and she handled everything off of the stage, which you were very thankful for.

Miles motions for you to pass the bottle to him and you do so, earning a grossed out look from Jack. He wasn't much of a drinker, but what he didn't indulge in alcohol-wise he certainly made up for in dope.

"You guys got the setlist and everything?" Kay continues to take the bottle from Miles and chugs the rest of the amber liquid. After deciding nods were a good enough answer, she continued, "Hope you guys are ready because there's actually a crowd outside."

You can't hide your shocked expression and she laughs.

"How many are here for us and how many are just here for the booze?"

"That I do not know, Jack, but I guess we'll find out," she winks and walks down the wobbly stairs to the main floor.  "I'll tell Bill you guys will be ready in ten. Make it happen."

"Shall we check our sound?"

--

You could feel the sweat dripping down your brow but that didn't matter in this moment. What matters is the screams and the yells from the crowd as you finish your song.

"This next one is called Denim Dreams," Miles speaks into the mic which elicits a scream from the left side of the bar, no doubt from that girl from earlier.

You turn and watch Jack for his cue to start when he gives you a nod. You pluck out the familiar riff of the song you had written about some guy you met years ago, Miles following with the strum of his guitar, and finally Jack with a few stomps to his bass drum.

As you started singing the lyrics, making yourself sound as if you were still in love with the man you had written this song about, you didn't notice the door to the bar open. You certainly didn't notice four boys walk in and make their way to the bar, their eyes on your band the whole time. In fact, it wasn't until you finished with Miles’ solo that you spotted the members of Greta Van Fleet clapping along with the crowd and smiling at you.

[ghostmartyr]

/clears throat/ so, Immi, I hear you like the locked tomb, which is fantastic! from one person also escaping the snk series into TLT to another, what did you think of the characters and plot in HtN? are there any things you're most excited to see when Alecto comes out in 2022?

-pats lifeboat- This baby can fit so much trauma.

SPOILERS, naturally.

With another paragraph informing the curious that unspoiled is the way to go into HtN, since if you aren’t lost and confused, are you really reading Harrow the Ninth?

I read it all in one day, and that was a choice. It does mean my memory and understanding of what all went on is slightly dependent on someone else on the internet exploding over a particular set of paragraphs and explaining their significance to me, but I still enjoyed the hell out of it.

HtN disappointed me on one front in that I was hoping seeing more of Harrow 1.0 would help out any future fic endeavors. On everything else, like the first one, being told the story is such a good time that I’m willing to wait on a full comprehension of where it’s going.

I also really like second person.

What I loved most about HtN is how even without Gideon mentioned until very, very late in the book, you can feel her absence everywhere. In the wrong bubble flashbacks you’re commanded to examine the strangeness, but even in Harrow going about her day, the isolation and the wrongness of it decorate her every action. She’s alone, and she shouldn’t be, and the loss she’s unaware of bleeds into a constant echo of grief.

I don’t think I’ve ever appreciated absence as a narrative tool so much. Obviously griddlehark hours go hard once they start in HtN, but even before then, there is so much power to their connection that looking into a world where it never exists still manages to punch you in the heart with how much each one inhabits everything the other is.

The whole series is amping me up with a few thoughts on loneliness, honestly. Gideon and Harrow grow up alone on the Ninth, save for each other. It takes leaving for that to be any kind of good thing. The first book is tag team Among Us with everyone in their little clusters, slowly learning what other people are about as they all drop dead.

The second book has a different vibe and different plot things going on, but it’s similar in that the protagonist gets thrown into a world they don’t fit and have to put on a show. Only now there are even fewer people to familiarize with, with that number correlating directly to how they all killed the person closest to keeping them from being alone.

Lyctorhood is taking the person dearest to your heart and trapping them there forever while they’re stripped of everything that made them who they are.

...Also Ianthe is there.

Gideon, Mercy, and Augustine are the last Lyctors standing after 10,000 years. There were only seven, starting out. Sixteen acolytes who came to the First. The only pair who didn’t succeed in condensing themselves is separated from the pack and sent to live away from their peers on a tiny planet that no one has anything good to say about.

Alecto is John’s -- who even knows, past A Lot, and he puts her to sleep and locks her in a prison no one but he can get past.

God has seven friends. More if you want to count the people in the Cohort, but realistically, he has seven friends. Then they keep dying.

Harrow spends HtN in a spaceship with five people.

One is trying to kill her.

One ordered that one to try to kill her.

Two could not care less about the useless baby Lyctor.

One is Ianthe.

There is no real endgame. There is surviving life, and life has become a game of running as far away as possible so you don’t share your ruin upon your inevitable death.

It’s bleak and sad.

Harrow’s healthiest relationships are with dead people, and some of them she didn’t know at all in life.

Reiterating it, the most plot significant bit of the world is finding someone else in the world, swearing yourself to them, and smashing your souls together until you’ve lost the connection entirely.

My brain’s not in the best place so I can’t do more than gesture loudly at it, but a few people have mentioned that the series’ thesis is a counter to Ianthe’s statement that love is acquisitive.

Harrow tightens her hold around Gideon until Gideon would rather she just strangle her and get it over with, all things considered. It fucks them both up, and when they start working to get past it, circumstance wraps a chain around both their throats.

The necromancers who become imperfect Lyctors have all acquired their cavaliers, and besides the cav, it kills that bond.

Harrow’s rejection of that is why Gideon’s soul is still in the world of the living (and John blood).

She has spent her entire life eating pieces of Gideon to keep herself a horrid imitation of whole, and when she is finally offered that, she refuses.

Grief and how Harrow just can’t are active elements of the book, and Magnus gives her more therapy in five minutes talking about it than she has ever had in her life, but the reason why that isn’t the end of Gideon is because, unlike all the other Lyctors, Harrow turns the offer down.

With the exception of Babs and Ianthe, the relationship between cavaliers and necros about to do the Lyctor thing is cavaliers promising to burn for an eternity while their necromancer lives off the fumes.

Fuck that is Harrow’s response.

Cytherea says, in the aftermath, that they had the choice to stop.

Harrow stops.

A lifetime of doing exactly what Gideon is telling her to do with her death, and Harrow chooses to stop.

Harrow remembers Ortus’ poetry. She regularly sees her congregation off to their deaths. She keeps Gideon’s glasses. She views Palamedes, head exploded and all, as an infinitely better person than she is because of the quality of his exemplary character. She pulls Gideon the First from the incinerator on the night she plans to kill him.

Kiddo has so many fucking issues, but somewhere, she has learned to respect people for being people. That’s why she and Gideon are the heroes of the story, ultimately, and Ortus saying that they’re heroes worthy of the Ninth doesn’t fall flat. They’re actually trying.

Where that puts us for Alecto, I don’t pretend to know.

Since the first book is the temptation of an end to isolation, only to have it snatched away, the second book is the continuation of isolation with a few promising sparks of human connection that pave the way for hope...

That leaves the third book to shed the isolation and allow the connections to thrive.

With Gideon and Harrow MIA.

I know that the books kick things up into high gear in the final acts each time, but if they’re both gone for the majority of the book, no matter how much fun it is, I’m going to miss them. They’re the core leads, and I don’t want to be without them in the final part.

The 2022 release date has aged my soul. I deliberately planned my GtN read to land a month before HtN came out, then suffered when that was delayed. When really that was nothing at all. I hate waiting.

(Insert note that I’m very glad they aren’t forcing Muir to rush anything out. It’s been a rough time, but also, just in general authors should have the opportunity to create the best versions of their art they can, so the extra time hurts, but it’s obviously for the best.)

What I’m most excited for is probably the cover art. The first two have been awesome, and the artist said he’d likely do print sales for all three when the third’s revealed. My wallet cries but my heart does not.

What I dare not be excited for is the potential for Gideon and Harrow meeting again and perhaps hugging. In their own bodies.

I’d take other bodies, but ideally, y’know.

Also I would love for Harrow to finally meet her popsicle girlfriend.

I doubt it would be a wholly positive experience, but by golly I want it. Maybe they could hug too. It would probably kill Harrow again, but who doesn’t expect several people to die again in the third book?

However it plays out, I’m expecting to enjoy AtN. The writing’s the sort that I’ll happily follow wherever it goes. For everything else, there’s fanfic. The only real worry I have is the whole book will be narrated by Ianthe, and while I mentally groan at that, I actually find Ianthe’s commentary delightful, so even in the worst case scenario I’m having a good time.

Thank you so much for the ask.

[softstarker]

you'll kill me for this one because you're SOFTstarker but oh well i love your drabbles too much. how about extreamly dub-con peter boardering with non-con. tony is so frustrated with peter's little innonect quirks, pretty blushing and maybe oral fixation. peter likes tony too, but is too young for the next step. one day tony can't help himself and takes peter, pinning him down while he cries out and begs mr. stark to stop, which only encourages tony further. i'm fucked up. have a nice day.

welllll i wouldn’t say, given previous posts, that i’m necessarily SOFTstarker, and, um, i accidentally wrote something so long it’s under the cut,,,,, 

let me just sprinkle on top here, maybe Peter doesn’t even have powers (yet?)

so like lets say Peter is an intern for Tony, maybe even what Tony calls a personal project and potential assistant, maybe Tony has said, “That kid is smart, he’s got potential. I just want to give him a helping hand.” and Peter totally has a huge crush on Mr Stark, and at first he’s in awe of Tony all the time, he suddenly gets to spend so much time with Tony and help him on projects and work in his lab and sometimes even be in Tonys apartment, and Tony loves having Peter around, he’s a big help, really, and Tony just ignores all the times his eyes have gotten stuck on Peter, or all the times he was too busy staring at Peter to realize what Peter was saying, and it wouldn’t help that when Tony said, “Hm, what’d you say? Sorry, I zoned out there.” Peter would just smile and laugh and explain whatever genius comment he had, and Peter was starting to notice Tony staring at him, especially when Peter had a pen in his mouth or was bent way over a table to get something, or even when he cocked his head to the side and looked up at Tony, so, now that summers here Peter has a lot of free time and can devote more time to the internship, so he and Tony start to actually hang out more, and at Tonys apartment, and now that it’s summer Peter can really kick up his teasing, wearing shorts, tank tops, eating popscicles, lounging around, he sees Tony watching him more and more and he just wants Tony to say something to him or maybe even kiss him, but Tony does nothing, so Peter amps it up again by making sure to get really close to Tony any chance he got, and physical contact was even better, he’d touch Tonys shoulders or poke at Tonys side, and Tony has done a lot to keep himself under control, it’s become apparent to him that the kid wants him, but there’s no way he could do that, he’s barely even let himself think about how much he wants Peter, and he knows he could do it, they’re alone in his apartment all day, so, one day Tony has been a bit more stressed than usual, he’s just been having a hard time with prototypes, so Peter comes over, and it looks like Peter ran there, he’s breathing heavy, a little sweaty, but still so excited to see Tony, so Tony lets him into the kitchen and gives him a popscicle, Peter actually pops his shirt off and Tony actually sees stars for a second, Peter holds his balled up shirt in one hand, the popscicle in the other, and leans back against the counter, Tony just looks at him, Peter is pale and soft and perfect, his jeans hang low on his hips, he’s thin with an almost noticeable hint of lean muscle, and yeah, Peter is watching Mr Stark stare at his stomach just like he wanted, and he can’t help it when the popscicle he’s slowly sucking on starts to drip onto his chest, Peter moves to wipe it off but Tony steps forward and in the most commanding voice Peter has heard him use, says, wait, then he grabs both of Peters wrists, leans down and licks the drips off Peters chest, Peter drops the popscicle in the sink next to him and Tonys grip on his wrists tighten, it hurts a little but Mr Stark is still kissing at his chest so Peter can’t complain, Tony presses himself closer to Peter and starts kissing and biting at his neck, and Peter can feel how hard Tony is getting against his thigh, and Tony switches both of Peters wrists to one of his hands, because he can hold both of Peters wrists in one hand, and he’s squeezing them so hard now that Peter has to say, “Ouch, M-Mr Stark that hurts.” but Tony just bites harder at Peters neck and uses his free hand to shove down Peters pants and feel Peters little cock and Peter starts moaning and tears well up in his eyes as Tony slowly starts jerking him off, and Peters neck is covered in hickies and bite marks at this point, and Peter is crying when Tony actually kisses Peters lips for the first time, and Peter tastes sticky and sweet and maybe Tony makes Peter get on his knees in the kitchen and suck him off, Tony grabs Peters hair and drags him down on his cock, Peter gags and drools and his tears don’t stop, but his mouth his so red and he’s blushing so hard, so Tony picks him up and takes him to the bedroom, where Tony throws Peter down on the mattress and fucks him and holds down Peters wrists and Peter is crying and letting out these soft moans and his throat is so torn up and he’s so gone he can’t even talk anymore, and uuuhh yeahhhh

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Superheroes with Secrets: Kirby Breaks Down Hard (Fic Part 148) (Set in 2001)

Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places.

please inform me if you wish to be tagged/untagged from posts.

Tags: @piratewithvigor

‘Giantess’ Kirby Roussimoff x Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms (Circa 2001)

Reference Posts: Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms

Kirby ‘The Blacklight Bandit’ Roussimoff

"I appreciate it, honey." Helms smiles. "But hugs are still allowed"

"I wanna squish you both." She murmurs, trying to resist the urge to do exactly that.

"Squish away, just no lifting."

Kirby pulls both Jeff and Delilah into a tight, squish hug, pulling away after Delilah taps her arm to make her let go, "oops, sorry, didn't mean to squeeze the air outta ya."

"Hey, Kirby?"

"Yeah, Dee?"

"Do you still have those uhm, muscle electric pad things?"

"Yeah, I do, there in my bathroom cabinet, why?"

"I wanna shock the boys." Delilah whispers in her ear, making Kirby giggle in excitement.

Helms can tell the tone of the giggles immediately. "The girls are scheming something, gentlemen. Be wary."

"Oh, mon mari, I gave Shannon some of that cider you made, and I," She pauses to kiss him gently, "will be back in a minute or two."

"Please don't do anything schemey."

"It's not a scheme, it's making you guys feel what women have to go through. I'm gonna get my muscle stimulation pads, ya know, the electric ones, from the bathroom cabinet and then we're putting you guys through what a period feels like, or in your case, mon mari, giving birth." She explains as she goes upstairs.

"Giving what now?"

"I'm gonna put muscle stim pads around your crotch and abs and make you feel labour pains, boy."

"Why?" He squeaks.

"Because Kirby's pregnant and you're her baby daddy." Delilah grins.

"So I gotta suffer too?"

"Yea-huh." Delilah nods, her New Jersey accent slightly thicker than usual.

About a minute later, Kirby returns with the box containing the muscle pads, "who wants to go first, and if you try to run, I'll get Lita to tackle you."

"That might be worth it." Helms winces.

"Oh, mon mari, if you put up a fight, I won't have sex with you for two months, I have my ways of making you suffer." She whispers, kissing his forehead and patting his cheek softly.

"Yes, apparently with a torture device"

"It's a muscle stimulation device, not a torture device, when used on a low level, it helps soothe pain in your muscles... when you amp the level up ... you can cause pain." Kirby's eyes seem to glaze over slightly with evil intent.

"You're my wife and I trust you, but keep in mind I've been a good and faithful and loving husband when you start cranking the juice on that thing and have mercy"

"Okay, Jeff, you annoy me the most and this was Delilah's idea... where the hell has your beau run off to Dee?"

"I have no idea." Delilah defends.

"He booked it. Probably halfway to the pond by now." Matt points out, looking out the window.

Kirby turns around just in time to hear the splash of Jeff jumping into the pond, "oh God, he's gonna catch his death out there."

"Guess he figured it'd hurt less than the muscle device."

"It's not even that fucking high powered, Jesus fucking christ, can't men ever fucking listen to me and understand what the fuck I'm saying.... fuck it, I'm going, I'm fucking going." Kirby sighs, turning around and heading out the door.

"You girls are always saying how much the cramps and birth hurt. Is it such a surprise Jeff wussed out?" Helms chuckles.

Kirby slams the door behind her, absolutely furious for the first time in a long time.

"If I were Jeff, I would just mutate and become one of the pond people." Matt murmurs, watching her go out to the pond from the window.

"The fuck do you think you're doing, boy, do you wanna catch a cold and die by hypothermia, want to put Delilah through that, or your Ma!" Kirby yells at him, her voice loud enough to be heard from the house.

"Well, I thought it was a good idea at first, but now either I stay in and keep you from killing me, or you chase after me, kill me, you get sick, then Helms kills me a second time. My options are limited."

"Get back in the house, or I will throw you through the fucking window, right now."

"Yes, ma'am." He squeaks, scampering out of the pond, shivering and dripping wet.

Kirby watches him go back to the house, not following after, but instead just shaking her head and trying to calm down, unable to shake her anger.

"Dee, please say you like me enough to keep her from killing me." He whispers to Delilah as he gets back inside.

"Jeffy, honey, I love you too much for anyone to hurt you." Delilah whispers back, wrapping a towel around his shoulders.

"Keep that in mind when Kirby comes in."

Kirby doesn't come back in the house, choosing to stay outside until she calms down and walking to the trees and into the forest. After a few minutes of her being outside, Helms starts getting concerned.

"Uhm, I can't see where she's gone, but she headed into the forest." Lita murmurs.

"Dammit, that's where she goes to sulk." Helms sighs, grabbing his coat and slinging Kirby's over his shoulder.

Kirby sits down with her back against a tree, sobbing uncontrollably at the thought that she could be so angry towards the people she loves.

Helms finds her not too long after and stands a couple feet back. "I've got your coat if you want it." He offers gently.

"Go away, I don't want to hurt you." She whispers.

"I won't get any closer if you don't want me to, but you're gonna freeze if you don't bundle up a little."

"I'd prefer to freeze than be that angry."

"I don't see what anger has to do with you wearing a jacket or not, honey. If you get too cold, you'll catch something and I'll have to take you to the hospital."

"Shane, I'm not going back to the house, I'll put my coat on, but I'm staying here."

"If that's what you want, fine."

Kirby goes silent, pulling her knees to her chest and putting her head in her hands. Helms doesn't move. Just keeps his distance and lets her have her moment.

"Leave." Kirby whispers.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you've never once meant it when you told me to leave"

"I mean it now, leave, go be happy, forget about me."

"You don't mean that either. The more you push me away, the more you need me to push back. The harder you fight me, the harder I know I have to fight for you."

"Shane, get lost, go find someone else to have fun with, because I am sick of feeling like an outcast in my own home, okay, I'm sick of you and your stupid friends who only seem to find new ways to piss me off, I'm sick of waking up at four in the fucking morning and puking my guts up because of our baby and your plans to make us a huge family don't help that feeling, and I'm done with living for the idea of months from now instead of day by day, I just want to be able to feel like myself for once, after two months of feeling like I have no control over my life, I want control back!" Kirby yells, standing up and getting in his face.

Helms goes quiet and stone-faced, refusing to show any emotion as her words tear at his soul, "I see. Are you sure that's what you want?" He murmurs.

"I love you, yet you make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin, like I constantly have to please you." Kirby whispers, stepping back and turning around to walk further into the woods, her mind yelling at her the same phrase on repeat 'stupid fucking ogress'.

Helms has to repeat a little mantra of his own as she leaves him standing amongst the trees. A reminder that she loves him and he loves her and that the hormones are what's making her be cruel. He repeats it in his mind as he follows her, forbidding himself from crying.

"Shane, try living in my shoes for a moment, okay, I have the weight of my dad's legacy on my back, added to the fact I already consider myself a freak, I'm gonna be a mom in less than a year, and I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin because every single day, since I met you, has played out at break-neck speed, I haven't felt like I can breathe properly for hours now, and not once has anyone other than you or Shannon actually picked up on the fact that today is not a good day for me." Kirby explains, standing still and wiping away tears.

"What's making it bad?" He asks gently.

"I haven't eaten anything since I woke up because the moment I thought I got my breakfast down, it came right back up. I don't like hospitals, yet I pushed myself to go visit Shannon before he got released. I had to ride in the grossest and most uncomfortable taxi I've ever been in, alone. I just wanted a day in bed with my husband, having sex, because currently, that's the only thing that makes me feel good."

"Honey, I need you to take a deep breath and walk through that again with me. The morning sickness is becoming a bigger problem, so we're gonna have to work together to find something your stomach can tolerate. Everyone visiting, they were just happy to be out of the hospital and wanted to share their news. But the rest? Taking a cab to visit Shannon at the hospital? It was sweet of you, but it was your choice to make. No one forced you to go to the hospital and no one forced you to take the cab. No one asked you to either. I'm sure he appreciates your visit and I'm proud of you for going, but it's not fair to anyone for you to forcibly give yourself a bad experience and then take it out on yourself and others. Do you get what I'm saying?" He asks softly.

"I get it, I shouldn't take it out on them, but taking it out on myself is the only form of self-medicating that I have without alcohol, I've been this way for years. I get it, though, I get it. They're not to blame, I am." She murmurs.

"Putting yourself into situations where you'll be miserable, just to feel the misery?"

"It's the only emotion I can handle, thirty one years of life, and that's the one thing I know about myself, for as emotionally cold as I act, my safe place has been in misery, because I'm too closely linked to tragedy and trauma."

"Is that what the last two months have been? Agreeing to our first date, my proposal, to having a baby, was all of it just a self-harming ploy to make yourself as miserable as possible?" He whispers, stepping back a little bit.

Kirby breaks down, "no, no no no, no, Shane, I would never hurt you, please, Shane, you gotta believe me, I love you, you are the best thing in my life, you are my painkiller, you make me feel happy, but when I'm not happy, I feel like I have to act like I am so you don't worry about me, please don't leave me, I'm begging you, please, Shane, I love you."

"Kirby, I love you too. I'm not leaving. I just need you to understand something..." He murmurs, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I've been doing... everything I know how to do. Tried everything I can think of to make you happy. Usually it works, but then I say one thing wrong and it feels like I'm back to square one. So I have to keep my mouth shut, even if I have things to say because I know they'll make you jealous or upset somehow. I keep locking away parts of myself to try and keep you happy. I lost the last chance to ever have my parents back in my life the other day, and I never got the chance to mourn because being at the hospital upset you and I had to be strong. I hear you waking up every morning and getting sick, and I have to fight the urge to keep from punishing myself for putting you through this. I feel like I'm pushing myself beyond the best I can do and... and we always end up back in the forest with you yelling at me..."

[tamiddyinyourcity]

2:03pm, what the hell.

Thursday, January 2nd of 2020.

Time is a concept that I can't comprehend.

What's on my mind?:

Losing Patrick wasn't just losing a boyfriend or someone attractive to bang, it was losing a good friend. I don't have THAT many of those around here, and like, kinda sucks if the one person I'd like to be sitting in their car with at a view, or in a drive thru or sime shit, is someone I just can't really see or speak to.

Since on a day like this, I'd be going, "I should check in with Patrick", and trying to see if he'd like to drag me around the lake, or get some breakfast, or something.

And that's just not happened yet.

I shouldn't wait by the phone as if he's gonna pop up like, "Hey Tamia, let's get coffee today!", and totally ignore the "you threw sprite on me and potentially let me crying in my car" incident we had.

(Was he crying? I don't know, he looked only mildly uncomfortable. But then again, he always looks mildly uncomfortable..... And eh, I don't think a grown man would slam on his horn like that at 2am, unless he was either really enraged, or.... crying.)

I only feel bad about things when I think about how *he* feels too hard.....

But it doesn't matter how he feels. Not at this point in time, when I'm alone, and his request was specifically for me to not talk to him, and thats just obvious for me.

Going "aw i regret what happened that night :,(" doesnt change his decision, or the fact that im alone, yet again.

And it doesnt help me heal, or get over things at all.

So the alternative is easy; going "he did kinda deserve that", (the soda i mean,) and then looking elsewhere.

The thoughts will go away eventually, thats all.

.........

I guess his crying also rubbed me the wrong way.

It was:

Sweet, since, ive never seen him cry to that extent. And, i wouldnt have expected him to get this emotional about us breaking up........ Bittersweet, since crying wouldnt change anything.

Annoying, since he's crying over something that he could've resolved himself. Oh boo hoo, you're dumping me for..... idiotic ass reasons that all happened from your lack of responsibility and backbone, and yet you're crying on my shoulder snd holding me, for.... what reason? It feels off, "Hold me as i cry, right before i tell you i no longer want to date you anymore, and that i also am going to hate the idea of seeing or speaking to you anytime soon."

Maybe cute, but not in a sadistic way. Idk, it felt good hugging him, and he sounded like Scully when she's eager to be pet from the way he was whimpering.... That's a fucked up comparison, but idk, hard to explain why i find emotional vulnerability in a man that i obviously had romantic feelings for made me like them.....

......sigh.

I wondered his reasons for wanting to not see me.

The conk made him hate me? Or would seeing me just be too awkward too soon? He claimed he had absolutely no more romantic feelings for me, which could either be complete heartbreaking honesty, or a "i gotta say this, or shes gonna keep trying to fix a relationship that i dont wanna fix" type schtick.

.......god.

I still just kinda wished we did something else for his birthday; seperately. It hurts a lot differently being told the day of, when I was excited and amped up and overall feeling so good..... that oh, she doesn't want me there.

And three different people want to fight me if I show up.

And...... jesus fucking christ, he's allowing them to express their right to curse me out over his supposed "right to have me there", how amazing! Yeah, enabler.

If I was just told on Christmas Night that it was a little soon, but that I could have a breakfast with him on his birthday, or whatever...... i wonder what all wouldve happened.

.....

But, things happened this way for a reason.

Revealed that he broke his promise to me. That I wasn't valued, in the way I hoped I was. That he could see or do all this and that with me, and still was happy to get rid of the relationship.

Since, God, all the things I did for him that he could never do for me? Even asking for compliments back or a basic "you look nice today" after taking forever getting ready to see him, was like draining blood from a rock.

And there I was, going gift shopping for fucking Bernard for Megamind! The most unappreciative asshole I have ever fucking met! Who gets a gift and then spends 4 minutes going "See, i drink coffee, but i dont LIKE coffee MERCHANDISE, you see???", and COMPLAINING over a gift that i got him.... and can barely even muster out a thank you?

Then he wondered why i was so fucking upset? God, i went to cry like, three times in his bathroom. What the fuck is wrong with him?

I'll try to not think about it too hard, since if I do, then I may or may not go to his door and demand it back...... which may reflect poorly on me.

.....

This is exactly why I don't like dating people who wanna be "trained" on relationships.

You'll have to practically give a TED talk on why groaning and scoffing in disgust at a gift you don't like, is not very cash money of them to do to the girlfriend they JUST had gotten back with.

Or why it's weird to have me meet every friend that lives miles away from home, but not the closest ones, who literally live in their freaking neighborhood?

Or "Patrick, I can't think of every date we go on, it makes me think I am not liked if you cant picture doing more than shacking up in your bed."

Which I think is why I went for XPatrick the second he texted me, "Hey, im in town for a wedding, wanna get in and out tonight?", in October or whenever that was..... Since XPatrick knew me a lot better, and was more experienced with chivalry, so it was easy as hell for him to know what to do sometimes.

"Me and Patrick aren't official, and I rarely get to see XPatrick, so itll just be a platonic date! And even then, well, not much will happen right?" - me, maybe an hour before the night i got my cervix tapped by my ex

Idk, just little things.

He was still an aloof guy, XPatrick, but that's his disability, and i wont bash him for it at all. Otherwise, he was sweet. Paid for my milkshake that night, gave me his jacket when I was cold, held my food for me when we were walking to find a table....

Plus, he remembered that I tend to get sensory overload when I am around too noisy of an environment and then I either am more prone to get disoriented, or irritable, so he helped me get to his car to eat and talk, as opposed to standing in a place of shouting teens..... Thoughtfulnsss plays a huge role in having chivalry.

(I wouldnt be shocked if this was the story i probably may have wrote on this tumblr once before, that Azalea tried to send to Patrick. But newsflash, no need to worry, he was literally informed of it the very next day.)

And.... yeah.

For once, I had a night of feeling fully satisfied. No having to say, "Hey, you glare at me every time you see me, seems like you dislike my presence", not having a guy nut in six seconds before fully sliding in, having valid emotional intimacy and positive sexual stimulation.....

Yeah, i needed that.

Its obvious that when its "The guy who will scoff and say that its 'uhhh, fine?', when he's dryly hitting it from the back.... before cumming in maybe ten seconds", and "Your hot ex boyfriend, who you clearly still have strong feelings for, emotionally stimulates you, knows how to make your whole face turn hot, and can actually tap your cervix in a pleasant way..."

It was obvious.

And, just one night.

Not to say I didn't feel guilty the next day, during the graveyard watercolor (was that even a date or a hangout? i think it was a hangout, but i was anxious, since its like "why do i feel so bad about banging my ex if im not even 100% sure this is even a date?????")

And then that's when we had our cute, yet insanely awkward, turned hostile.... "hangout".

Then we stopped talking.....

Till I apologized.

And I guess all of that, despite me obviously enjoying my time with my ex, to an extent, it was still "I care about Patrick, as a friend", and I didn't have dating him in mind.

But, one thing lead to another... and we dated.

Its a shame. I miss how we were before. Just kind of awkward friends, and whatnot.

And until I somehow find a way to desire how he's currently like in my life again......

I wont miss him.

Threw too much away too late and it hurt all too bad....

2:54pm.

I liked the innocence of when we had made up and became friends again. Or our first date, even. Way before other people got involved, and when it was just as simple as, "Patrick is free today, and so am I. Let's go get him out the house today".

....I'll cherish the memories, but not as intensely. I just wanted the whole relationship to feel as good as that had been, and, now im upset because.....

He doesnt wanna see me anymore, and, theres no more hidden crushes, or days spent wandering around with him. All the good shit is gone, and whats left is angry tweets and tumblr posts.

That's so upsetting. :/ I'll never be able to talk to him for a while, man. Its never gonna be resolved. Whether its friends, dating, him seeing someone else, and maybe even me seeing someone else; i dont think we can go back to how things were before.

And that says a lot; when the optimistic one in the relationship finally just goes, "Our friendship is never gonna be the same ever again because of the way all of this shit went down".

I'll always be thinking, "He's got his friends. He doesnt need me in the way id need him."

And he wouldn't fucking think about me period.

:)

Thats all. Peace out