#you're very wrong

[mythvoiced]

@xinxiins | ♥

For a solid moment there, Minho isn't sure if he's being made fun of.

Even after he's being handed a set of napkins - that have seen better days, it seems, and it concerns, making his eyes narrow from suspicion to worry - watching the kid agree to what had very evidently been bullshit on Minho's part, spewed either to lessen the accountability of his daughter or alleviate the tension seeping into his own shoulders, there's a good chance he's suddenly stood before the kind of young adult Soomi would probably praise, for the boldness of their mockery, the courage of their lack of sense for authority.

But the suspicion doesn't fester, even in the silence that stretches around the kid's faltering, the softness of his voice, the way Minho takes the napkins from his extended hand and wipes at the lapels of his coat as if it mattered, as if it wouldn't be easier to just go home with the stain and abandon the coat in the washer along with his dignity.

Minho snorts.

"I wasn't being serious," he interjects softly, somehow not finding the bite in the other, let alone one within himself to offer to the kid. His head tilts, there's an apprehension to his gaze that seems keen on figuring out what the issue here is.

Because there is one.

"It was just an... argument with my daughter," he gesticulates vaguely, unsure of how to reveal the truth without the shame attached to it, the idea that he's failed as a father starting from the moment he'd failed to even show up as one.

He can't blame her.

"I didn't... quite understand that, sorry, but I'm glad she didn't get you," he bundles the napkins into one sorry excuse of their former self, left to find a new home in the inside of the coat he's quickly coming to associate with one of the biggest issues currently changing the trajectory of his life.

Who is this kid?

"Xuān Bǐngjí," he half-asses through the pronunciation with an apologetic smile, trying to inflect it with enough self-deprication and irony to imply his lack of practice with a language clearly not his own isn't intended to come across as malicious.

"All right, Xuān Bǐngjí, I'm Minho, nice to meet you," he extends a hand, waving the bow off with the dismissal of someone who'd rather choke than be given this kind of politeness to.

The next gesturing seems intent on beckoning Xuān Bǐngjí to bring his own hand back into the picture.

"Show me your hand."

[multusxcastalides]

// Because I’m a fucking adult woman taking care of her own life...

I had nuggies for lunch.

[abracadaze]

i feel so bad for nikola tesla like imagine spending years beefing with a guy who has conned the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and you end up dying broke and starving and alone and then 100 years later another guy cons the public into believing he's some sort of supergenius when in reality it's his overworked employees developing all of his world-changing inventions and he's doing it all IN YOUR NAME. he must be rolling in his grave like a fucking rotisserie chicken

[blueboyluca]

“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”

— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)

[bixels]

tarpit site.

[inkskinned]

something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

[dootznbootz]

Thinking about how Telemachus has heard "You are just like your father" by so many people for most of his life. How different yet refreshing it is to hear said father tell him warmly "You're so much like your mother".

[fryday]

it's the way "you're not gonna want your dinner" was 110% an offscreen interaction. dan's voice went super quiet (only directed to phil, not for the mic to pick up). his light disappointment/admonishment/fondness was totally genuine, not played up, and was obviously addressing something they've been through a thousand times before (but again, this was neither explained nor exaggerated - it wasn't delivered for the audience's sake). and then phil's immediate, unbothered "i am" while staring blankly into space before he looked at the camera and turned it into the disappointed grandma joke (@manchesterau pointed this out!). we witnessed a full, offscreen, completely domestic moment between them and how blessed are we

[casscainmainly]

I know people love saying 'Bruce is a girldad' and I totally get it, we want to show how much he loves Cass and that she's his daughter. But Bruce's initial love for Cass was largely predicated on how not girly she was. He openly dislikes her girlhood throughout Batgirl 2000 (including but not limited to: dismissing her civilian identity, berating her for any romantic attempts, weakening her friendship with Stephanie, undermining her relationship to Babs, etc. etc.). Cass' femininity interferes with his ability to project onto her, so a lot of the time he just dismisses it. Is it really a coincidence that Bruce's only adopted daughter is one who wasn't raised as a girl?

[constelationprize]

Thinking many many thoughts about how Jean was Riko's partner for a YEAR and was still rooming with Goon #3. Because that was how unwilling Riko was to let go of Kevin. And how that implies that Jean was placed as his partner both because of the practicality of Kevin being gone AND as a punishment for letting him go in the first place. Being partners with Jean could actually slow Riko down depending on how often he's hurt (because I don't think Riko was all that exempt from the rules to the point where his partner's performance would completely not matter) and he was still placed there. Riko was just THAT angry at him over Kevin's escape. And all the while he was keeping Kevin's side of room like an altar, even back when he didn't even think Kevin could PLAY, because of an injury he caused.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

caterpillar? more like cu. more like cunty. cuntypil. um.

[heybiji]

dandelion talks about how when he died it was like he was floating in a sea of black, and the paladin, lafavel, tries to talk him into finding a deity because he's worried about this warlock's soul*

*it doesn't work. dande gets defensively antagonistic

[jessmalia]

Mal's Avatar: The Last Airbender rewatch: The beach 3.05

[hamartia-grander]

Seeing posts like "why is Wyll so mid in combat" "why does shadowheart miss so much" followed by footage of someone being utterly Bad at the game is crazy

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[mxfrodo]

y'all for fucking real. don't fucking write slave fics or x reader fics of aventurine's slavery??? are you guys out of your goddamn minds???