#you. you made me feel less crazy and celebrated all my wins with me and it’s like cringe bc it’s a website and im more extremely online than | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bridgetoesoteria · 8 months

Text

🖤Breaking baddie🖤: Describing your 'dark feminine' energy. How to channel it?

Hola malacitas 😘 (i hope that actually made sense lol).

First things first, what is "dark feminine" energy?

Yes, this is the **first website that comes up when you google "dark feminine," but it is pretty thorough and comprehensive! I liked it the most out of all the others. The others either repeated the same points or had too many outdated/black-or-white views. Feel free to do your own research however. There are plenty of videos on YouTube as well. **One caveat...when you get to the part about tapping into DF energy, I disagree with #8 (specifically).

(We're going to keep this post light and I'll dedicate a separate post to my personal viewpoints.)

So I will be telling you all about your personal DF "archetype." I will also provide guidance on how you channel your DF energy.

I am so so excited for this! Eek 🙊 Okay, options below, left to right. I hope it resonates!

I am using a few different decks. I won't be adding pictures but I will provide what cards I drew.

Pile 1

Off the bat: I am hearing "no fuss" and also "ruthless," which is interesting considering the image you chose. I was also hearing the lyrics "all I do is win, win, win no matter what." So I'm getting some really bad ass energy right away! Come thru mob girlies!

4-Card Spread: 4 of Diamonds, 8 of Diamonds, 7 of Hearts, Joker. Bottom of deck is 6 of Clubs.

It's funny you have the 6 of Clubs (wands) on the bottom of the deck. I was hearing those lyrics about winning. This is a card that signifies victory and public recognition or celebration. I feel like the DF side of you is really bad ass! I'm also getting a pinch of "lover girl" energy. Its kind of like you have perfect formula sugar+sheist+everything nice! lol

This energy isn't afraid to be in the spotlight but is also quite comfortable in the shadows. You may be (or this is what other people think) the type to use underhanded to get ahead. Its not personal but you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm also getting an energy of it is easy for people (I'm hearing "dudes" so maybe some of you talk like that) to get attached and feel led on. But I think you are married to the hustle.

Some of you may not regularly reside in this energy and could be put off by the description. But that is exactly why its dark feminine energy. It pokes and antagonizes the status quo, which is where most of us reside from day to day. Traditionally, feminines are not painted as cunning, street-wise, heartbreakers. Your DF energy pushes back against those constraints placed on feminines that require prioritizing the group over self. Not that anyone asked but I think that's actually kind of amazing.

Of course you don't have to reside in this energy and adopt some toxic alter ego, but there probably are some gems hidden here. People who move like this are usually made, not born. In some way, they learned that survival=competition, so you learn to "stay ready so you don't have to get ready." Your motto as a DF would be "every (wo)man for themselves," making betrayals feel less personal because...well it just isn't, as crazy as that sounds.

Advice: The Devil, Queen of Swords, King of Wands, The Star. Bottom of deck is 7 of Swords + Mute (Oracle)

I'm getting a strong message about speaking up. I am using Tarot de Carlotydes and in this deck the 7 of Swords is depicted as a sword swallower. Which I always interpret as "swallowing" the truth. Then as I was focusing on this group's image, I realized the cabinet behind her is full of skulls, reminding me of "skeletons in the closet." Then finally we have a literal Mute card:

The Mute is told what to hear, say and think and is often suppressed. Sometimes breaking the chains against heeded words may be rewarded.

So you currently may be the complete opposite of your DF energy. One of the keywords for the Mute is "insecurities." I feel like a lot of you are sleeping on yourselves. 🔊AND ITS TIME TO WAKE THE F UP!

Maybe you are trapped in your light feminine energy. I say trapped because it feels like you are forced into that box. Super passive, loss of control. Where your DF energy would insist on speaking up and standing out, you may just keep your head down and avoid any trouble.

I'm hearing specifically that some of you love writing poetry but may have someone who discourages you from pursuing this interest. You may want to present your poetry to an audience and they tell you that no one wants to hear what you have to say. For others, they are saying no one wants to hear from you about something else.

If you are used to toxic and restrictive connections or friendships, you are being called to step out of that. Get used to asserting your boundaries, "do not speak down about my hobbies," "if you cannot allow me to think for myself, then we can not continue our relationship." I think you definitely have it in you.

Another keyword listed is "hope." I think some of you may enjoy singleness and being single-mindedly focused on you and your goals, more fulfilling than you think. It can be healing to finally feel like the star of your show.

TL;DR: Your DF energy definitely has a bit of edge to her. She does what she has to do to move ahead and she prefers to fly solo. Even if that is not where you are right now, this energy already exists within you. Once you drop the dead weight--be it toxic family, toxic friends, or a toxic partner--you will see how quickly you flourish. You have every right to speak your truth and protect your peace. Its time to peel yourself off the wallpaper and start standing out and speaking up!

Pile 2

Off the bat: I wasn't getting anything with this group. I found that strange and wondered if I wasn't "tuned in." I think this represents your mental space when you are in your DF energy. You are clear minded and have a "sober" outlook. Maybe some of you are literally sober or are considering it.

4-Card Spread: 2 of Clubs, Queen of Spades, 8 of Spades (R), Ace of Hearts/7 of diamonds. Bottom of deck is 9 of diamonds.

I am very strongly getting that there is something noteworthy about your DF's decision making abilities. Maybe that sounds "boring," but its actually pretty admirable! The world often sends the message that feminine energy does not possess strong cognitive abilities. When feminines contradict this stereotype, they can be labeled as "cold," "mean," "masculine," or met with hostility.

I'm honestly getting that the DF in you does not care. You may naturally lean more to this side in every day life. Or this is where you could be if you tapped into your DF energy more often.

You make clear decisions and keep it moving. You do not allow your thoughts to keep you tangled up in a web of confusion and indecision. Some of you could be really good at chess. I am getting that kind of energy. Calculated, self-assured, and making decisions with no intentions of taking it back.

You are quite comfortable standing on your own, and pouring into your own little world. I get the image of a woman who lives on a quiet estate, walking through her garden, with birds chirping and flying above. Have any of you watched the movie Men (2022)? I loved the imagery in that film and that's kind of the vibe I am getting now. A lot of horse girlies may have picked this pile.

I feel you being very unbothered, above drama. Your DF energy would love to find a masculine that can match your energy. You are good on your own so you won't allow anyone disruptive into your peaceful little domain. You do not make impulsive decisions in love and you are willing to wait for a new opportunity that is worth the investment. With the king of diamonds two cards under the 9 of diamonds, I do feel like this DF energy could pull the kind of masculine you desire.

Your DF energy really shines in STEM related jobs, corporate spaces, or any position that requires a sharp mind.

Advice: Ace of Swords, 10 of Swords, 4 of Wands, Knight of Cups. Bottom of deck is 10 of Wands + Spider (Oracle)

As soon as I pulled the ace of swords, I heard "get used to speaking your truth." I also heard stop entertaining "little boys." I don't think this is in terms of age, I think this referring to the maturity level of masculine energies you may usually deal with. I am in no way encouraging that you pursue anyone older. (Honestly, that does not guarantee emotional maturity or respect. But that's another convo).

I think this message is about the expectations you set for your partners. There is nothing wrong with expecting them to match you. They can either rise to the occasion or be left behind. If you hold this potential inside of you to be a queen of swords, queen of pentacles, and 9 of pentacles. Then I'm sure that energy exists out there in a suitable counterpart. The ten of wands is encouraging you to keep forging forward. I don't like preaching to be "strong" and "endure," but this is different. You are being strong for yourself. If you have to walk alone right now, it gets tough at times, but you are doing it with purpose. It will pay off.

For some this may literally require you to live alone. Its interesting that I keep getting messages about homes. I got a lot of diamonds/pentacles in the last spread, which also can deal with the home and related practical matters. "Home" is one of the keywords for Spider. The Moon is on the bottom of the deck, I think it is also relevant. This is what the guidebook has to say about each:

The Spider traps those who wander into her web. Keywords: Control, Home, Familiarity, Comfort, Trapped, Security. The Moon is not always as she seems. Her delicate glow seeks for hidden truths while blinding others to her own. Keywords: Confusion, Apprehension, Suspicion, Feelings.

You may need to be more discerning when it comes to who you let into your home and/or your heart. You might need to create a little confusion when it comes to what your next move is. Everyone does not deserve your energy or to be held on to.

Spiders can also be associated with anxiety. In regular tarot, I do consider the moon to be a card that can speak about mental health. So some of you may need to make these changes for your own sanity, literally.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is a very strong and self-sufficient queen of swords type. She thinks clearly, can make decisions without questioning herself, and always stands on business. She has high standards for those who come around her because she has built a beautiful life for herself and will vet anyone who wants to join. This self-respect and authenticity helps to attract a suitable mate. One who can match this go-getter, no bs energy. The key to channeling this energy is to start living in it now. Trust your decision making abilities, don't announce or seek validation before you make a necessary personal decision. Staying true to yourself and becoming more independent will pay off.

Pile 3

Off the bat: When I looked at the image for your pile, I immediately heard "I'm not one of those/your little girls." So whew! We are coming in hot! Also hearing "I wish a b---- would."

4-Card Spread: 7 of Hearts, Jack of Clubs, 2 of Clubs, Joker. Bottom of deck is 5 of Hearts.

I am getting more light-hearted energy in this pile than the previous two. Maybe a lot of young, or young-at-heart, people have chosen this pile. This DF energy could easily pull many suitors but she views lovers as more of a "fun time," not so much a "long time." You could also be a little toxic toward lovers. Makeup to breakup, or honestly sometimes its just breakup lol.

This energy is quite fiery and uninhibited. Some of you could be fire signs, specifically Sagittarius. Or I am getting that because of what Sag represents: free spiritedness, adventure, luck. No wonder this DF energy resists being tied down. The world is literally your oyster and you knows it!

This DF energy is also a little scrappy. Have any of you watched the Bad Girls Club? You know how there would be that one person who has a temper, then gets a little too messed up when they go clubbing and ends up wanting to fight everyone... When you see red, people need to clear your path! I do get a bit of a party girl energy which is not surprising considering I was picking up on Sag.

This DF does not have a problem fulfilling her emotional needs. You will always make sure your cup is full. You will always make sure you are having a good time. You realizes that you have this amazing, fortunate energy and unapologetically harnesses it to get the most out of life. I think your DF self is also likely to be single and happy that way. Picking yourself up after disappointments in love is no problem because there are plenty more where they came from. You have an abundant mindset when it comes to love and life.

Advice: Queen of Wands, The Hanged Man, Ace of Swords, 5 of Cups. Bottom of deck is 5 of Swords + Ghost (Oracle)

In order to channel this DF energy, some of you may literally have to ghost someone. I am not surprised the energy of having to cut people off has been coming up. Sometimes the company we keep can really hinder our growth and self-expression. The hanged man is about surrender and next to the ace of swords, I sometimes see this combo as maintaining no contact. Ghost could also be taken literally.

But I think Ghost is also talking about a tendency toward self sabotaging and shrinking yourself. This is the total opposite of the DF energy that I just channeled. Its like the past and your insecurities have a tendency to haunt you and keep you stuck. You may also try to make yourself invisible. In the guidebook, the word forgotten repeats itself twice for this card:

The Ghost lingers, forlorn and forgotten. Keywords: Hidden, Mystery, Forgotten, Spiritual Matters, Fears, Faith

You will need to work on your self-confidence. When you are more confident in yourself, you will be more confident in your decision making abilities. You will be more authentic with the way you present yourself to the world because it won't matter whether people approve or disapprove. You know who you are. With the 5 of cups, there could be something that you are still grieving or regretting but you can bounce back from this! Channel your inner phoenix and allow yourself to blossom. Its time to reinvent yourself!

Be open to all the great things life has to offer you. Guided meditations for gratitude and self-confidence/self-love could be very beneficial. Trust that the flow of life is always leading you to something wonderful. Trust that you are allowed to call the shots in your reality. Do your part then trust and let go.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is very spicy! She is popular and free-spirited. She knows that life has so many different adventures to offer and she does not let anything stop her from exploring them. This DF is likely to be single or somewhat noncommittal. She does not mind flying solo and knows she can always find another mate. She is also quite lucky and manifests fortunate events with ease. To channel this energy you will need to drop any dead weight and increase your confidence in yourself and your decision making abilities. You could benefit from some form of self-help resources like books and guided meditations. And if it is accessible to you, therapy, support groups, or other resources that will help your create a stronger you.

Pile 4

Off the bat: I am getting a pretty serious energy. Some domme energy or you could just be a pretty dominant woman. This could be describing you or your DF energy. I keep hearing strawberries and champagne. Is that even a real thing? I've never met anyone who enjoyed that combo.

4-Card Spread: 4 of Clubs, Jack of Diamonds, Ace of Hearts, and Ace of Spades. Bottom of deck is Queen of Spades

I am still getting some of that super assertive and stern feminine energy. I could see your DF self working being a principal. I am also hearing headmaster/headmistress. I think she would love working with children but not in the traditional, mushy-gushy light feminine way. Its more of a "I have/enforce rules because I love you" type of energy . You believe in structure and order. If this isn't working with children, this could also apply to raising children. I could also see this DF running an orphanage. I did hear "rule the roost" while I was shuffling, so no matter how this resonates, you definitely are not afraid to lead.

You are generous and wise. Beneath the stern exterior is a lot of love and compassion. Your soft spots are not visible until you take a closer look at what you invest your time and energy into. This kind of energy could also attract less mature suitors, because it intimidates them yet they are so infatuated. You carry yourself with grace and probably won't entertain them. You are much more suited to be their mentor than anything.

Going back to the original domme energy I was getting. You may actually prefer partnerships that allow you to wear the pants. You don't really want a masculine energy coming in and dictating to you. You can run your own life just fine and would rather partner up with someone who can understand that. I don't think you want someone that is "weak" either, its more like you desire the cliche of the masculine that calls the shots in the board room but is more submissive/passive at home. They are secure enough to be with a feminine energy as strong as them.

Some of you as DF would be comfortable living a "nontraditional" life. Nontraditional as far as feminine energy is concerned anyway. You may prefer live-in partners, or life partners, over traditional marriage. You could identify with being poly or something similar. You would love to travel and always seek to broaden your horizons. This is the type of person you would expect to have "summer homes." You could also decide to not have children or you would want to wait on having/adopting children. You love living authentically because of how freeing it is to just be you. You don't care what outsiders think of your life because you know you are doing what works best for you.

Advice: 3 of Swords, 5 of Pentacles, 9 of Swords, Queen of Wands (R). Bottom of deck is The Devil + Soil (Oracle)

To channel this DF energy more, you will need to master the art of not giving a shit. Some of you could be currently suppressing this energy. I really don't think its that far out of reach for all of you. Its just your fear that is keeping you trapped.

For some of you this trapped feeling is because you are in the closet. I am not telling you to come out because I don't know how that would impact your life. I want you to stay safe! However, maybe you can seek out queer friendly spaces. Or spaces that are supportive of whatever group you identify with.

There could also be a heartbreak that has left you questioning yourself. In the Tarot de Carlotydes, the 9 of swords is depicted as a woman chained in a dark room, with a flower in her hand and broken heart drawn on a piece of paper. I always see this card as being tortured over a disappointment. In this particular deck, I see as a mental prison that you feel trapped in because you are clinging to and rehashing an event. Holding onto this event keeps the pain fresh or recurring. It is time to release it.

Do not internalize other people's actions and shortcomings. It is not a reflection of you. You are who you decide to be. Do not dim your shine for anyone. Do not stunt your growth either. I'm not sure what it is that is holding you back but you have the potential to be the brightest star! You can be strong, and confident, and assertive. There is this little ball of power inside of you, that can grow if you allow it. Soil echoes the same message I am seeing in tarot. You must let yourself bloom:

The soil is a conduit of both growth and decay. Eyes forward, rooted to the past and reaching to the skies, she'll grow. Keywords: Balance, Forward, Growth, Duty, Building.

Some of you may use less than healthy tactics to cope. Maybe you should think of yourself like a plant. What are you fertilizing your soil with? What are you using for watering? Put the best in, get the best out.

TL;DR: Your DF energy is a L-E-A-D-E-R, okay?! She calls the shots in every area of her life. Some suitors are attracted to her because their immaturity is infatuated with her self-assured, mature energy. However, she prefers an equally strong partner at her side but this does not mean she wants to be led. No, she wants someone that respects her as an equal but allows her to take the lead. She lives life on her terms, loves on her terms, and does not care what anyone else thinks of that. She does have a soft spot but that is not for everyone. This nurturing energy could be channeled into working with children in some capacity. In order to step into this energy, you will have to untether yourself from insecurity and heartbreak. You already have this power inside of you, its only a matter of letting it grow. You don't have to deny what you have been through or the way it impacts you, but it also does not have to hold you back. Replace your unhealthy coping mechanisms with healthy ones.

As previously stated, I have a planned post that will expand on my views about feminine energy and other spiritual topics. I am really looking forward to sharing my thoughts and hope you all will chime in! I would love to start a discussion.

Until then ❤

~ K

#pick a card #intuitive readings #spirituality #tarot reading #oracle reading #pick a pile #tarot #oracle cards #tarot community #hecate #goddess lilith #dark feminine energy #spiritual awakening #shadow work #divine feminine #feminine energy

186 notes · View notes

welcometocaritas-creations · 2 months

Text

so i wrote the draft for a Diego/Lila s4 au fic last year

It's about 150-200k in length and it's going to be a while before I can get it post worthy (soooo much editing to do) and I still have my wolfwren fic to finish first. BUT in light of the horror show that was s4, I thought I'd give you guys a sneak peek to cleanse the palette

When I do post, it will be on my AO3 account here . So if you want you can subscribe to me and then when I post it, you'll know :) It's sort of a Lila-centric fic that deals with her trauma and how impending motherhood impacts that and is impacted by it - but obviously Diego/Lila is a huge part of the fic.

So without further ado. . .

. . .

“Gracie. If it’s a girl.”

Diego’s brow furrows. “Wait, really?”

Lila shrugs. “Sure. Why not?”

In truth, she’s a little intimidated by Grace Hargreeves, though they’ve never met. Or at least, she’s never met the version of her that Diego holds up on a pedestal. Half robot or not, Lila knows she was a better mum than she can ever hope to be. That she was soft where Lila is hard, quiet where she’s loud, sensitive where she’s callous. Lila will never be even half as good as her at this mothering bullshit.

But she wants to be.

The name can be a reminder. And, though logically she knows there can be no better reminder than her own flesh and blood child standing in front of her, the deck is stacked against her. So she’s willing to pull out all the stops. Rational or not.

Besides. . . she was Diego’s mum. Gave him a soft place to land growing up. Gave him love when there was none to find.

When they were in the asylum, Diego never had a nice word to say about anyone.

Except for her.

Lila thinks that’s something that deserves to be honored. Celebrated, even. The fact that one of them had a mum growing up that wasn’t complete shit. Even if she was prevented by her own programming from actually protecting her children.

(this, at least, is one thing Lila thinks she can do better. Protecting her child. She’s not a robot designed by her kids’ abuser, after all. She’s also more skilled in a fight than her birth parents. A winning combination, really.

She may not turn out to be a good mum in any sense of the definition but she’ll be damned if she can’t keep them safe.

And who will keep them safe from you?)

Lila’s skin feels hot. And sweaty. Like she’s skipped breakfast. And lunch. And three nights' worth of dinners. “Diego. . . what if we screw this up?”

“Then we’ll do our best to unscrew it.”

She snorts. Laughs.

Appreciates the words more than if he offered an infuriatingly optimistic denial. The reassurance that: of course they won’t screw up their kid, how silly of her to even entertain the thought.

“Unscrew our kid?”

Diego smiles - probably at her laugh - and shifts until he’s seated beside her on the bed, rather than behind her. So she has no choice but to see the earnestness in his eyes. And there is so much bleeding earnestness. She’s not sure how this man ever convinced himself he was a lone wolf. This is a pack animal through and through. “Yeah, listen, Lila. . . we’re sort of stumbling around in the dark here. You’re not the only one who feels that. Who’s scared shitless.” This too is a comfort. “But that’s how I felt with Stan and things didn’t turn out too bad.”

“He was Kugelblitzed.”

“Well, that’s hardly going to happen again.“

She smacks him on the shoulder. “Oh God, now you’ve jinxed it and it’s definitely going to happen again. Are you crazy?”

She could kill him.

Diego grins through a wince, refusing to grasp the grievous error he’s just made. “The point is we’re going to make mistakes. Big mistakes. Small mistakes. Lots of mistakes.”

“Is this supposed to be comforting?”

(Lila knows he’s only slightly less emotionally congested than her but, still, she expected better)

He leans closer, into her space - a dirty move that makes her breath catch. “Your mother and my father made mistakes too. The difference is they never saw them that way. Never tried to fix them. Never learned from them. . . They never tried to do better. To fix what they’d broken. They didn’t want to. . . That’s not us. That will never be us. Because, yeah, Lila we’re going to make a mess of things. A big huge stinking mess. But we’ll clean it up afterwards. And the next mess will be a little less messy.”

“I hate cleaning.”

His eye twitches. “Can you just- I’m trying to do a whole speech here.”

“I know and it’s a surprisingly good one.” Diego’s brow knits together like he’s not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. “Maybe instead of trying to save a president by cutting off some bloke’s trigger finger you should just run for office. I think you’d be brilliant.”

“I would suck as president. I’d stab someone within the first hour.”

“Like I said,” Lila wraps her arms around his neck with a grin, “Brilliant.”

(she’d vote to see that)

Diego rolls his eyes at this but rewards her masterful plan with a kiss. “You would make a pretty badass First Lady.”

. . .

[this is just a short excerpt from like the seventh chapter but I figured it would be a nice read after, well. . . everything]

Also here have some Lila and Diego fanart:

#lila pitts #lila hargreeves #the umbrella academy #diego x lila #diego hargreeves #tua #tua season 4 #tua s4 #ritu arya #lila x diego #david castañeda

22 notes · View notes

roobylavender · 1 year

Note

hi! idk if someone asked this already but who are your top skam couples :o

someone has not! there are three i feel particularly attached to though

incantava / i feel aaaaabsolutely crazy about these two. in my opinion they're the best couple out of every single skam adaptation combined. skam italia in general was a series which while it had a lot of issues somehow managed to strike gold with the execution of its version of noorhelm and i like to think giancarlo and bernadetta were instrumental to that. like giancarlo himself said “edoardo and eleonora are very mature characters. their relationship is mature. they dialogue with one other. there hasn’t been a love scene so far, precisely, to celebrate their relationship, their union. there’s love, maturity and so much respect" and i don't think any other pair of noorhelm actors ever verbalized that about their characters. noorhelm's narrative is a difficult one to execute without the wilhelm character looking like a piece of shit even if only briefly but there were these tiny nuances skam italia added bc there was so much emphasis on edoardo's respect for and reverence of eleonora even when he was upset with her. he's the only wilhelm who apologizes to eleonora for what happened to her before the grand reunion kiss and if memory serves the only one who actually dialogues with her at all when she's trying to win him back rather than him simply walking away without a word. it's that emphasis on dialogue between them that constantly drew me in and made me feel like i was watching a relationship between two people who actually grew with each other

zoenne / the only other noorhelm i truly grew to love! albeit for slightly different reasons. where the maturity within incantava's relationship was focused in their dialogue with each other i think zoenne's maturity was focused in their accountability to each other. esp senne's accountability to zoe. every wilhelm tends to think with his heart before his head but beyond the gang fight incident there's not much they actually have to be accountable for and they still tend to come off a bit dickheaded. senne is someone who to me came off less so. similarly to edoardo (and alejandro albeit i'm not as attached to norandro personally) you could tell senne really listened to what zoe had to say and internalized it and acted upon it. so when he recognized what his brother had done to her it wasn't only about saying sorry but also about supporting her to file a case against him with the police. when he lived with zoe it wasn't only about living there for her but also about demonstrating a presence and compassion for her roommates and their problems as much as her own. when zoe broke up with him bc he pushed her too hard to fight the case it wasn't only about missing her but also about recognizing what his support of her actually needed to look like. he genuinely grew as a person rather than remaining stagnant and isn't that poignant considering what he pointed out about humans and their tendency to evolve at the end of season one? i realize i haven't talked as much about zoe here but ofc her holding him accountable to all of these things and standards of a relationship was what made them compelling to watch together. they were a great exercise in conflict resolution so despite there being road bumps those road bumps were undeniably worthwhile

virugo / almost every version of vilde and magnus is literally terrible. like some versions of skam do manage to do good by their noora and vilde's relationship with each other so you don't feel supremely peeved but maybe mildly annoyed by the fact that vilde ends up with a complete dunce who simply happened to crush on her long enough to where she could reciprocate when she got over wilhelm. but skam españa which fortunately happens to be probably the most healthy depiction of skam dynamics as a whole (next to druck) decides to actually do something with its vilde and magnus dynamic bc it makes the genius decision to instate viri as a main character. so you get to see in detail why and how viri has developed all of these insecurities and why she's so desperate to be recognized and loved and then on top of it we get to see how hugo in turn is that person who sees her and recognizes all that she does for everyone and who loves who she is beneath all of the glamour. like it's so simple and sweet and endearing and when she's telling the girls about how he makes her happy and his jokes are like paracetamol and he loves fish it literally makes me want to cry.. i love it when two people are the only ones to see each other in a room it's so good it's so achey

#outbox #i also really love spiderwitz but that's admittedly moreso bc they have really great chemistry #rather than for any deeply philosophical reason. albeit their season and relationship development are still fantastic for sure

11 notes · View notes

theartoflovingthomashunt · 2 years

Text

My Top Posts in 2022:

Happily Ever After

This family has my entire heart. Thomas and Alex have been such a source of comfort and joy for me over the past few years. Writing them means the world to me. I adore them more than I can say. Then came Bogart, who is the cutest, most fun pup to write for. And finally, my precious twins, Felicity and Vincent, whom I share my birthday with. I love them so much!!! 🥺😭😍💛

I can't thank the beautiful and amazing @/artbyainna on Instagram enough for this stunning family portrait.

Birthday Art #6 of 6 for my self-care birthday week + "birthday" for @choicesmonthlychallenge

[All Thomas Hunt x Alex Spencer Masterlists] [Baby Hunt]

49 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

Three years ago today, I decided to join this fandom and I am so glad I did!

I had reblogged things randomly from a non-choices blog and liked things on my personal account but I had never really interacted with anyone or participated in the fandom. When I was in elementary school, I definitely was writing fan fiction, but then as I got older people made me feel less because of it and I stopped writing. Then I found this fandom community and decided to take a risk and pick it back up again. I never expected anyone to read it!

I'm truly grateful to everyone who has ever read or supported my writing here or on any of my blogs. You will never know how much it means to me! Thank you!

So how does one celebrate? With more fan art, obviously! 😍😍😍

One thing I've loved to do is see how different artist bring Thomas and Alex to life and I couldn't be more excited with how this latest art came out!

This adorable chibi portrait is by arssel_land on Instagram 💛

Thank you again for all your love and support. You (and HAlex) have helped me survive the last 3 years on this crazy planet and for that I am eternally grateful! 💖💖💖

50 notes - Posted July 8, 2022

The Best Kind of Distraction 💋

This gorgeous portrait of my forever OTP Thomas and Alex is by the always wonderful and talented @rosefuckinggenius!

I had a short drabble planned to go with it, but seeing as @choicesrcd2022 ends now-ish, I decided I should at least share the art. I'm hoping I can get time to write out the drabble tomorrow. 🤞

Prompts: @choicesdecember2022 kiss, @choicesrcd2022 distraction, @choicesholidays I’m so glad we found each other (always & forever)

[All Thomas Hunt x Alex Spencer Masterlists] [Red Carpet Diaries]

50 notes - Posted December 10, 2022

Thomas and Alex Hunt 💖💙

by @/hrhschreave on Instagram

A couple of weeks ago I was lucky enough to win a commission from Amara in @/austie_romance 's 1,000 Follower giveaway. I am absolutely blown away by the talent and generosity of both of these lovely ladies. I can't thank them enough for making this portrait possible!

Prompts: one more (kiss) @choicesmonthlychallenge

[Masterlists: Thomas Hunt x Alex Spencer]

52 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

"Do I love you? My God, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches...I have stayed these years in my hovel because of you. I have taught myself languages because of you. I have made my body strong because I thought you might be pleased by a strong body. I have lived my life with only the prayer that some sudden dawn you might glance in my direction. I have not known a moment in years when the sight of you did not send my heart careening against my rib cage. I have not known a night when your visage did not accompany me to sleep. There has not been a morning when you did not flutter behind my waking eyelids." ~The Princess Bride, William Goldman

Thomas and Alex enjoying a quiet afternoon rereading one of their favorite stories.

I can't even explain how much I am in love with them and this art. Ainna (@/artbyainna IG) is literally the most beautiful genius and never fails to impress . I will be here crying over this for a while. It is everything I hoped and more. Thomas and Alex's love is infinite, they spend everyday choosing each other no matter how good or bad things are and I will always chose them. They are my comfort pairing and my happy place. I will never get enough of them or their love.

[All Thomas Hunt x Alex Spencer Masterlists] [Halex Commission tag]

62 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

13 notes · View notes

scheodingers-muppet · 2 years

Text

okay it’s taylor time: evermore edition. some are shorter cause I kept hitting the character limit

willow: steddie, from eddie’s pov. "Rough on the surface, but you cut through like a knife" and how they both almost instantly got along. "The more that you say, the less I know" and realizing this idea of "King Steve" Eddie had was completely wrong. "Wherever you stray, I follow" "Life was a willow, and it bent right to your wind" Steve "rich kid" Harrington. "Like you were a trophy or a champion ring" our favorite jock. "Show me the places where the others gave you scars" Imagine Steve and Eddie going on walks in the woods together after season 4 and Steve telling Eddie all the past stories. "Every bait-and-switch was a work of art" and Steve's way of flirting is to act uninterested.

champagne problems: Stancy, from Nancy's pov. I know I say every breakup song is Stancy, but c'mon. Let's be real here. Replace the proposal with the Halloween fight and champagne with punch and it's literally season 2. "I dropped your hand while dancing, left you out there standing crestfallen on the landing" "Your heart was glass, I dropped it" "You had a speech, you're speechless" "This dorm was once a madhouse. I made a joke 'Well, it's made for me'" paired with "She could have made such a lovely bride. What a shame she's fucked in the head" and the fact Nancy was dealing with her trauma during season 2 and was likely feeling very mentally unwell due to that. I also think Nancy feels a lot of anger and fears that she's "crazy" in the sense of what to do with said anger.

gold rush: Steve thinking about King Steve. Steve sees himself as separate to King Steve, I think. Like King Steve was a character that he was playing, feeling like a fraud. He hates it, but everyone loved him. "Everybody wants you, but I don't like a gold rush." "What was it be like to grow up that beautiful? With your hair falling into place like dominoes?" "I call you out on your contrarian shit" and Steve actively showing he's no longer that person, showing he's changed. "Had never seen a love as pure as it, and then it fades into the gray of my day-old tea" and Steve blaming his King Steve side for what happened with Nancy.

'tis the damn season: Jancy, from Jonathan's pov. I want them to get in a huge fight in season 5. Imagine Jonathan comes home for the holidays and tries to win her back. "The road not taken looks real good now" "It always leads to you in my hometown" "I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave." "You could call me babe for the weekend" "Sleep in half the day, just for old times' sake" and them almost being late to work season 3 cause they would sleep in. "Wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm faking"

tolerate it: El and Mike. I'm ignoring the age gap part of this song because (luckily) it doesn't match anyone in the show, however, the rest DOES match this situation. "I sit and watch you" and El observing everything in season 1. "if it's all in my head, tell me now. Tell me I've got it wrong somehow. I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it." and the season 4 fight. "While you were out building worlds, where was I?" You can't convince me season 4 Mike wouldn't blow off El for Hellfire if she didn't move. "Where's the man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?" and how Mike was so insistent she wouldn't hurt them in season 1. "Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life." "Drawing hearts by the byline"

no body, no crime: Karen and Joyce. I think they were best friends before everything with the Upside Down happened, through Will and Mike. I could see this being about Lonnie or Ted. I'm choosing to pretend this song is just about cheating and not the husband murdering his wife here. But I think Karen is deeply unhinged and we just never get to see it. I need to see her go crazy. I also wouldn't put it past either of them to murder the others husband if he cheated.

happiness: Nancy about Barb. "They'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you." Honestly, this entire chorus. Even after the monsters and the terror and being haunted by what happened, Nancy has fought her way to some kind of happiness. "I hope she'll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you" about saying goodbye to the girl she used to be and letting go of that version of her. "You haven't met the new me yet." "There is happiness in our history. Across our great divide, there is a glorious sunrise dappled with the flickers of light." Happiness in their memories and the divide being life and death. The lights being the Christmas lights.

dorothea: Robin and Steve!!! Platonic, of course. But like, if Robin goes out of town for college : ( "Making a lark of the misery" I just know they'd be so sad without each other. "This place is the same as it ever was, but you don't like it that way" "It's never too late to come back to my side...And if you're ever tired of being known for who you know, you know you'll always know me" "Skipping the prom, just to piss off your mom" They definitely just had a movie night during Robin's prom.

coney island: Lumax. "If this is the long haul, how'd we get here so soon?" They both want it to last forever. "Did I close my wrist around something delicate? Did I shatter you?" Max worried about her trauma bringing down the group, Lucas worried to even tell Max about the Upside Down so she wouldn't get hurt, only to hold her as she was possibly dying. "Sorry for not making you my centerfold" They're both dealing with a lot; albeit, various degrees of seriousness. But they haven't gotten to be there for each other. "I pushed you to the edge but you were too polite to leave me" Max things she's too much for a relationship. "Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?" I see Max casted as a rogue if she ever played DnD. "Sorry for not winning you an arcade ring" "Did I paint you bluest skies the darkest grey?" "The sight that flashed before me was your face" and Max seeing the dance to help her break away from Vecna.

ivy: Jopper. "I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bone in a faith-forgotten land" reuniting due to the Upside Down. "I just sit here and wait, grieving for the living" Joyce immediately went for it, the moment she thought he could be alive. "My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand" Russia, also Joyce is definitely anemic. "I can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland" Joyce has tried to move on from Hopper multiple times. "The fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed" and Hopper thinking he's the curse.

cowboy like me: Steddie. "Telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear" "Hustling for the good life" Steve is the constant sports to get into a good school, Eddie is selling drugs to get some more money. "The ladies lunching have their stories about...before I locked it down" "Your boots beneath my bed"

long story short: Ronance. "I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me" and the Upside Down. Nancy picked school, Robin picked staying in the closet. "Clung to the nearest lips, long story short, it was the wrong guy" "I always felt I must look better in the rear view" I think Robin has lost a lot of close friends that was closer to situationships. "We live in peace, but if someone comes as us... I'm ready" Nancy. "No more keeping score" and Nancy being jealous in season 4.

marjorie: Dustin about Eddie. I'm sorry. "All your...backlogged dreams and how you left them all to me"

closure: Byler. "Staying friends would iron it out so nice" "The sea you put between you and me"

evermore: Max. "I've been down since July" "Writing letters addressed to the fire" "Can't remember what I used to fight for" "I rewind the tape, but all it does is pause"

3 notes · View notes

viii-the-strength · 4 months

Text

Monthly reading

Okay so I am going to explain a little bit my monthly readings. For every Full Moon I do a zodiac spread that shows where I am right now and my future situation. There are two reasons I do it in the Full instead of in the New Moon:

1 When I do it for the Full Moon it allows me to have the time in the New Moon to fully be immersed in what goals I want to achieve during the upcoming month. I also can see how things have been developing since the reading in the Full Moon and act accordingly.

2 The Full Moon is about celebrating your success and resting but also feelings and intuition are heightened, so I think it is a very useful time for a reading. After it I also journal about the last reading and how the month went because the Full Moon is also about learning your lesson. Don't forget to journal about how this reading have made you feel at the very moment. Do not stress if you cannot do it all in the same day, the Full Moon is not only one day.

After that I use my oracles. First A yogic path for my spirituallity and deity cards, then the Starseed oracle for a grounded action, the Moon Witch for a question and/or intention and the W.I.T.C.H. for extra messages.

Since this is a general reading there won't be questions. Also remember to take what resonates and leave the rest behind. Keep coming back for this reading throughout the month and check the weekly readings too.

Alright let's go for the 2024 Full Flower Moon!! (I messed up the position of the cards in the spread a little bit sorryy)

Zodiac Spread

First House, your identity.

19- The Sun reversed.

Ironically, The Sun reversed sits in the house that represents the sun sign, representing your personality and general attitude towards life.

You may (or will) be filled with doubts about yourself or something. Maybe there is some sort of delay to or you are regretting missing an opportunity. So keep an eye out for new chances or plans but don't go crazy with FOMO either.

A reversed card for me means there's a way to turn it right. Try to keep a positive attitude.

This house is also about your appearance and physical health so be prepared to hear some "are you okay? you don't look great today".

Second House, Your resources.

6 of Pentacles.

A victory card in the money house is a great sight but be careful because it shows your relationship with money. It is fine if you allow yourself to spend a little bit more but don't go crazy either! It also indicates your current earning potential so maybe keep an eye out for a better job or be open to other ways or earning money.

It's also about self-worth and your priorities around what you value. It looks like you are locked in, you know you can win and you will.

Third House, your enviroment.

4 of Cups.

This house is Gemini's, the season we are in, so pay extra attention.

You may be tired of your extended family, neighbors, your neighbourhood or your daily commute. Maybe you are reevaluating something around this, thinking about a move, how to better your family relations or asking that neighbor to be less loud.

This card indicates a lack of awareness, daydreaming and lethargy so be careful with your words and your daily commute (pay attention to the road, be sure you stop at the right time in public transport, etc.).

Fourth House, your home and family (parents and kids).

6 of Pentacles reversed.

This card is about (material) generosity and kindness towards the less fortunate. Since it is reversed it seems like you will be asked for money or even a family member may scam you. Be carfeful with abuse of power, done to do or by you. Remember to be kindhearted and know that you deserve the same treatment.

Fifth House, your creativity.

5 of Cups.

Creativity is not only about art, it's also how you create and solve problems, how you bring your emotions into the material world. The 5 of Cups is a card of useless regret without learning. Do you find yourself in a situation that reminds you of another one? What did you do then and what are you doing now? There's some vicious cycle you are not seeing.

About hobbies, arts and music there may be some stagnation. Don't fall into bad-talking to yourself, it is okay if you are not always the most creative.

This house is also about the kind of lover you are, how you love and fall into love. In the Yoshi Yoshitani tarot this card is represented by La Llorona, a Mexican tale about a woman that drowns her own children because she was jealous of her husband's new wife. Now as a ghost, she continues to wander in eternal grief, refusing to seek redemption.

If you are too worried about what an ex is doing you need to stop the cycle, go into no contact if you need to. If you are falling in love be careful with self-pity, vulnerability is good but don't over share in the first stages and remember to talk about your hardships with dignity.

Sixth House, your daily work.

4 of Pentacles reversed.

The 4 of Pentacles is about greed and not opening up, so being in the 6th House indicates you are going to start working into sharing your thoughts and letting go.

It's also about internal health and how you take care of yourself (on the inside). You are going to be softer with yourself, more generous.

Seventh House, your partnerships.

3 of Pentacles reversed.

If you have a romantic partner you may feel a bit apathetic towards them or vice versa. Do you feel like your relationship has been lacking communication? The 3 of pentacles is about learning from one another, I think you need to see each other's point of view. You may also feel the same way about a close friend since this house is not only about romantic pairings.

In terms of work partnership you may feel like there's a lack of work ethic, of goals.

Eighth House, your secrets.

10 of Swords reversed.

I struggle with this House so bare with me Often called the death, sex and taxes house, everything people don't usually talk about.

It's about possessions we get from others and sexual energy (not so much love that's the 5th House).

A card about backstabbing reversed is really good. If there are some inheritance problems they will go well. It also indicates recovery and regeneration so maybe people will give you back what you once lent them (not only in the material sense, swords are about the mind). Regarding sex maybe you struggled with your view on it or just were unlucky with your partner, but it will be better now.

Ninth House, your growth.

King of Swords reversed.

This house is the Sagittarius one, the sign the Full Moon was in so I'd pay special attention to it.

This is my favourite house, it is about expansion, dreams, religion, philosophy, education, travels (long distance).

The King of Swords is intelligent and patient and as the king, it represents authority too. Because it is reversed I'd say be careful with teachers that act as dictators, don't let them lose your passion in the subject.

This card reversed can also mean cynicism so again be careful with these types of people but don't fall into it too, not everything goes to achieve our purposes.

Tenth House, your career.

4 of Swords.

How are you fulfilling your dreams and self-expectations? This house is about your financial position, your career and your public image.

The 4 of Swords is a beautiful card for me. A pause in the battle. You are resting and meditating about your next move, maybe even getting some counselling. Maybe you come from a bad experience or are just tired, but be prepared for your next steps. It doesn't end here.

This card can also mean passivity so watch out, rest has to be followed by action.

Eleventh House, your community.

8- The Strength reversed.

Your community is your casual friends, acquaintances, and social connections in general. This house represents how you interact with the world.

If you are neglecting this circle you need to stop doing that. Yes maybe they are not your family or close friends but you can still learn from them and be helpful. Don't doubt yourself, being seen is a good thing.

Twelfth House, your shadow self.

10- The Wheel of Fortune reversed.

The "house of sorrows" indicates your fears and self imposed restrictions. It's all about what you are not dealing with psychologically.

Disappointing others and yourself may be a big fear for you. You might dwell in the past a lot too. But you have to understand you can't always win, the wheel is always turning, sometimes in your favour, sometimes not. Feeling a lack of control is normal, you cannot control everything, but trust the Universe, trust the flow of life.

Overall Theme card

King of Cups reversed. Anxiety, lack of caring, control, violence, imbalance.

This card is optional, you can come to it for clarity for other cards or see it as a theme. I do see it fitting for a theme, this month seems like it's full of doubts and anxiety in a lot of houses. Let's see what the oracles have to say.

Positive Karma and Parvati.

Trust the Universe, you have done good on this Earth and It will reward you. Even if you think you are losing it will be to grant you something better.

Parvati is the goddess of devotion, love, and yoga. She is here because you've taken immense action toward becoming your highest self.

"In Hindu mythology. Parvati was in love with unattainable Shiva, who was deep in the mountains practicing yoga and detached from the material world. She knew he needed the feminine to bring him down to Earth, but he was totally inaccessible. Instead of begging and pleading, Parvati decided to become her highest self and seek enlightenment through yoga. Her family objected, saying women cannot become yogis, but she headed to the mountains anyway, where she stood in a frigid stream balancing on one leg for uncountable months or years. Eventually, Shiva felt her immense energy and fell in love with her because of her strength and determination. Parvati represents commitment to practice, unbreakable willpower, and the power of self-transformation. Continue your journey toward enlightenment."

Mantra: Om Namaha Parvati

Soul Whisper. What your soul needs to know. Forge, don't follow.

Don't wait for permission or until you feel ready. Build your own path now, put one foot after another and walk the path that has never been walked before. Share your unique voice, your unique passion. There is nobody like you.

"How are you being called to forge rather than follow? How can you be the leader you wish you had?" Journal about it.

Grounded action. The action your soul is guiding you to take. Two cards fell: child of the cosmos and double mission.

There's a mysterious force that governs all of life. Remember it. This intelligence is within you too. "How can you surrender more deeply to the intelligent flow of life?"

You're being called to remember your collective mission and step into it even more fully. This isn't about making a big decision or having a great big plan. "If you resonate with being a Lightworker, all you need to do is work out what lights you up (your passions and joys) and keep doing that". "How can you serve the world by being you?"

Your soul needs to know that you can do anything, you don't have to do what you are supposed to do or what is expected from you. What do you really want to do? Connect with yourself and the Universe. Surrender to the flow of life and be yourself.

This is an insight card, it gives you advice and guidance.

Moonbeam. You are on the right path.

If you pay attention the Universe sends you signals, it guides you where you need to go.

"Signs that you are on the right path:

- You feel motivated and excited

- You experience déjà vu

- You see number sequences (angel numbers)

- Obstacles do not stop you down

- You don't do things that make you uncomfortable

- Resources magically appear

- You are tired sometimes but not exhausted or depleted

- You recognize your worth and see it mirrored by your environment"

Sometimes not receiving a sign is a sign, maybe you are not aligned with your highest purpose. Sit down and re-evaluate your goals. "Choose the bravest path!"

Peace reversed, renewal, and love reversed.

You may be living an eclectic time in your life but "Don't do anything, let nature runs its course. Renewal happens on its own". The renewal card is ruled by the earth element, in this deck it is tied to knowledge and as you can see there are quite a lot of books in the card. Study yourself and the things you are passionate about.

You may have love problems, "follow your heart, only love will liberate you" says the guidebook. I think you have realized that you don't need romantic love. Other things can liberate you.

This was really long but take your time!! I am sorry it took me longer than I thought 😔🙏🏻 But we are still in the Full Moon!! 😚💖My readings have a lot of info so I hope it doesn't overwhelm you. Thank you for reading I love youu 🩷🩷

#my monthly reading #free tarot #free readings #daily tarot #tarot reading #tarot community #tarot #full moon

1 note · View note

trinity-mia · 8 months

Text

a story as endless as the ocean

the sea of monsters

1.8 brace yourself

warnings : mention of dysfunctional families, chariot races, a bit of violence and injuries, cussing

word count : 3.6k

1.8 The Single-Most Infuriating Letter You Will Ever Read in Your Entire Life

We arrived in Long Island just after Clarisse, thanks to the centaurs' travel powers. They seemed to be able to bend time as they galloped along, or something similar, at any rate.

I rode on Chiron's back, but we didn't talk much, and especially not about Kronos. I mean, I've met plenty of bad parents, but Kronos, the evil titan lord who wanted to destroy Western Civilization, and not to mention ate his children? Not the kind of dad you invited to school for career day.

When we got to camp, the centaurs were all really eager to meet Dionysus. They'd heard he threw some really wild parties, but they were disappointed. The wine god was in no mood to celebrate as the whole camp gathered at the top of Half-Blood Hill. I suppose he was disappointed we weren't going to be invaded and all of us be killed, after all.

The camp had been through a hard two weeks. The arts and crafts cabin had burned to the ground from an attack by a Draco Aionius (which as near as I could figure was Latin for "really-big-lizard-with-breath-that-blows-stuff-up", a.k.a, a Greek dragon). And that was one of less-injury causing attacks. The Big House's rooms were overflowing with wounded. The kids in the Apollo cabin, who were the best healers, had been working overtime performing first aid.

Everybody looked weary and battered as we all crowded around Thalia's tree.

The moment Clarisse draped the Golden Fleece over the lowest bough, the moonlight seemed to brighten, turning from gray to liquid silver. A cool breeze rustled in the branches and rippled through the grass, all the way into the valley. Everything came into sharper focus— the glow of the fireflies down in the woods, the smell of the strawberry fields, the sound of the waves on the beach.

Gradually, the needles on the pine tree started turning from brown to green.

Everybody cheered. It was happening slowly, but there could be no doubt— the Fleece's magic was seeping into the tree, filling it with new power and expelling the poison.

Chiron ordered a twenty-four/seven guard duty on the hilltop, at least until he could find an appropriate monster to protect the Fleece. He said he'd place an ad in Olympus Weekly right away.

In the meantime, Clarisse was carried on her cabin mates' shoulders down to the amphitheater, where she was honored with a laurel wreath and a lot of celebrating around the campfire.

To my delight, nobody gave Luke or me a second look. It was as if we'd never left. Really, that was the best thank-you anyone could give us, because if they admitted that we had snuck out of camp to do the quest, they would have to expel us. And I didn't want any more attention. It felt good to be just one of the campers for once. And Clarisse deserved the attention, she really did.

The next morning, after the party ponies headed back to Florida, Chiron made a surprise announcement: the chariot races would go ahead as scheduled. We'd all figured they were history now that Tantalus was gone, but completing them did feel like the right thing to do, especially now that Chiron was back and the camp was safe.

Tyson wasn't too keen on the idea of getting in a chariot after our first experience, but he was happy to let me team up with Luke. I would drive, Luke would defend, and Tyson would act as our pit crew. While I worked with the horses, Tyson fixed up the Hermes chariot and added a whole bunch of special modifications.

We spent the next two days training like crazy. Luke and I agreed that if we won, the prize of no chores for the rest of the month would be split between our two cabins. Since Hermes had a lot more campers, they would get most of the time off, which was fine by me. I didn't care about the prize. I just wanted to win.

The night before the race, I stayed late at the stables. I was talking to our horses, giving them one final brush, when somebody right behind me said, "Fine animals, horses. Wish I'd thought of them."

I jumped about a foot in the air, spinning and summoning Riptide as I turned.

A middle-aged guy in a postal carrier outfit was leaning against the stable door. He was slim, with curly black hair under his white pith helmet, and he had a mailbag slung over his shoulder.

"Hermes?" I stammered in surprise.

"Hello, Allie. Didn't recognize me without my jogging clothes?"

"Uh..." I wasn't sure whether I was supposed to kneel or buy stamps from him or something. Neither option appealed to me. I decided to go the simple route. "What's up?"

He sighed. "Do you ever feel like your father abandoned you, Allie?"

Oh, man. That was a dangerous question. For me. I didn't mean to, but I couldn't hold in the laugh.

I wanted to say, "Only a few hundred times a day." I hadn't spoken to Poseidon since last summer. That minute-long conversation was more than most half-bloods got in their entire lives, and it had mostly consisted of him saying I was an unwanted mistake. And then there was the whole thing with Tyson— I loved him, but seriously. I got no warning, no explanation. Just boom, you have a brother. You'd think that deserved a little heads-up phone call or something. At the very least, it would've been nice to find out earlier, like when I found him sleeping in a cardboard box, or something.

We weren't even gonna touch the subject of my mom, or what had happened to her. Sure, gods couldn't pay attention to their children, but what about their former lovers?

The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Finally, I figured out my answer.

"Of course I do. I always have. I know why, now, but there's just something off-putting about knowing one of your parents is alive and well, but can't ever talk or see you."

Hermes readjusted the mailbag on his shoulder. "Allie, the hardest part about being a god is that you must often act indirectly, especially when it comes to your own children. If we were to intervene every time our children had a problem... Well, that would only create more problems and more resentment. But I believe if you give it some thought, you will see that Poseidon has been paying attention to you. He has answered your prayers. I can only hope that someday, Luke may realize the same about me."

"Right," I drawled. This conversation was confusing and disjointed, and I wanted my bed. Best to just (carefully) agree. Without ending up involved in another quest, or anything.

Hermes shrugged as he continued. "Families are messy. Immortal families are eternally messy. Sometimes the best we can do is to remind each other that we're related, for better or worse... and try to keep the maiming and killing to a minimum."

It didn't sound like much of a recipe for the perfect family. Then again, as I thought about my quest, I realized maybe Hermes was right. Poseidon had sent the hippocampi to help us. He'd helped Luke in Siren's Bay. And there was Tyson. Had Poseidon brought us together on purpose? How many times had Tyson saved my life this summer? Okay, maybe, maybe, I could consider giving Poseidon a bit of a break. A bit.

In the distance, the conch horn sounded, signaling curfew.

"You should get to bed," Hermes said. "I've helped you get into quite enough trouble this summer already. I really only came to make this delivery."

"A delivery?"

"I am the messenger of the gods, Allie." He took an electronic signature pad from his mailbag and handed it to me. "Sign there, please."

I picked up the stylus before realizing it was entwined with a pair of tiny green snakes. "Ah!" I dropped the pad.

"Ouch," said George.

"Really, Allie?" Martha scolded. "Would you want to be dropped on the floor of a horse stable?"

"Oh, uh, sorry." Martha and George wriggled under my fingers, forming a kind of weird pencil grip.

"Did you bring me a rat?" George asked.

"No..." I said. "Uh, we didn't find any."

"What about a guinea pig?"

"George!" Martha chided while I giggled. "Don't tease the girl."

I signed my signature and gave the pad back to Hermes.

In exchange, he handed me a sea-blue envelope.

My fingers trembled. Even before I opened it, I could tell it was from my father. I could sense his power in the cool blue paper, as if the envelope itself had been folded out of an ocean wave.

"Good luck tomorrow," Hermes said. "Fine team of horses you have there, and an even finer defender. I'll be rooting for you and Luke."

I took in a deep breath, staring at the envelope. "This isn't... going to make me angry when I read this, is it? I've been filled with a little too much anger recently, I don't know how much more my body will be able to handle." There was silence for a minute, and that was all I needed to know. "Got it. I won't keep my hopes up, then."

"Just don't be too discouraged when you read it, dear," Martha told me. "He does have your interests at heart."

"Don't mind her," George said. "And next time, remember, snakes work for tips."

"Enough, you two," Hermes said. "Good-bye, Allie. For now."

Small white wings sprouted from his pith helmet. He began to glow, and I knew enough about the gods to avert my eyes before he revealed his true divine form. With a brilliant white flash, he was gone, and I was alone with the horses.

I stared at the blue envelope in my hands. It was addressed in strong but elegant handwriting.

Allie Jackson

c/o Camp Half-Blood

Farm Road 3.141

Long Island, New York 11954

An actual letter from my father. What would he write? I didn't even know what I wanted it to say, but I knew I wouldn't like it very much.

I opened the envelope and unfolded the paper.

Two simple words were printed in the middle of the page:

Brace Yourself.

***

The next morning, everybody was buzzing about the chariot race, though they kept glancing nervously toward the sky like they expected to see Stymphalian birds gathering. None did. It was a beautiful summer day with blue sky and plenty of sunshine. The camp had started to look the way it should look: the meadows were green and lush; the white columns gleamed on the Greek buildings; dryads played happily in the woods.

And I was miserable. I'd been lying awake all night, thinking about Poseidon's warning.

Brace yourself.

I mean, he goes to the trouble of writing a letter, and he writes two words?

Martha the snake had told me not to feel disappointed. Maybe Poseidon had a reason for being so vague. Maybe he didn't know exactly what he was warning me about, but he sensed something big was about to happen— something that could completely knock me off my feet unless I was prepared. It was hard, but I tried to turn my thoughts to the race.

As Luke and I drove onto the track, I couldn't help admiring the work Tyson had done on the Hermes chariot. It was completely different from the falling-to-pieces wooden box on wheels it had been previously. The carriage gleamed with bronze reinforcements. The wheels were realigned with magical suspension so we glided along with hardly a bump. The rigging for the horses was so perfectly balanced that the team turned at the slightest tug of the reins.

Tyson had also made us two javelins, each with three buttons on the shaft. The first button primed the javelin to explode on impact, releasing razor wire that would tangle and shred an opponent's wheels. The second button produced a blunt (but still very painful) bronze spearhead designed to knock a driver out of his carriage. The third button brought up a grappling hook that could be used to lock onto an enemy's chariot or push it away.

I figured we were in pretty good shape for the race, but Tyson still warned me to be careful. The other chariot teams had plenty of tricks up their togas.

"Here," he said, just before the race began.

He handed me a cuff bracelet. It was silver, the opposite of the one that held Shaker, and it had a giant blue sapphire right in the middle, with a whole bunch of miniature dolphin shapes all around the rest of the bracelet. I would've thought it was a little weird under other circumstances, but as soon as I saw it, I realized that this is what I'd seen him tinkering on all summer.

I loved wearing jewelry, so I had no reason to say no to Tyson.

"Thanks, bub." I put it on my left hand, where it looked great with Shaker on my right, and found it was surprisingly light and comfortable. I could hardly tell I was wearing it, much like Shaker.

"Didn't finish in time for the trip," Tyson mumbled. "Sorry, sorry."

"Hey, bub. No big deal."

"If you need protection in race," he advised, "press the sparkle, like you do with your swords."

"Of course, bubs." I didn't know what it did, exactly, but he'd compared it to my swords, so I was fairly certain it would be something that helped me.

"And, Tyson.." I trailed off, unable to phrase my relief at the fact that he was alive. Or apologize for not saving him when the CSS Birmingham exploded.

"I know what you will tell me," Tyson said, looking ashamed. "Poseidon did care for me after all."

That was definitely not what I wanted to say. I didn't like to make a habit of lying. "Uh, well—"

"He sent you to help me. Just what I asked for."

I blinked in surprise. "You asked Poseidon for... me?"

"For a friend," Tyson said, twisting his shirt in his hands. "Young Cyclopes grow up alone on the streets, learn to make things out of scraps. Learn to survive."

"But that's so cruel!"

He shook his head earnestly. "Makes us appreciate blessings, not be greedy and mean and fat like Polyphemus. But I got scared. Monsters chased me so much, clawed me sometimes—"

"The scars on your back?"

A tear welled in his eye. "Sphinx on Seventy-second Street. Big bully. I prayed to Daddy for help. Soon met you. Biggest blessing ever. Sorry, I said Poseidon was mean. He sent me a sister."

I stared at the bracelet that Tyson had made for me, my bottom lip quivering.

"Angel!" Luke called. "Come on, Gorgeous!"

Chiron was at the starting line, ready to blow the conch.

"Tyson..." I said.

"Go," Tyson said. "You will win!"

"I— yeah, okay, bub. We'll win this one for you." I climbed on board the chariot and got into position just as Chiron blew the starting signal.

The horses knew what to do. We shot down the track so fast I would've fallen out if my arms hadn't been wrapped in the leather reins. Luke held on tight to the rail. The wheels spun beautifully. We took the first turn a full chariot-length ahead of Clarisse, who was busy trying to fight off a javelin attack from the Demeter kids.

"We've got 'em!" I yelled, but I spoke too soon.

"Incoming!" Luke yelled. He threw his first javelin in grappling hook mode, knocking away a lead-weighted net that would have entangled us both. Apollo's chariot had come up on our flank. Before Luke could rearm himself, the Apollo warrior threw a javelin into our right wheel.

The javelin shattered, but not before snapping some of our spokes. Our chariot lurched and wobbled. I was sure the wheel would collapse altogether, but we somehow kept going.

I urged the horses to keep up the speed. We were now neck and neck with the Apollo chariot.

Hephaestus was coming up close behind. Ares and Demeter were falling behind, riding side by side as Clarisse went sword-on-javelin with Katie.

If we took one more hit to our wheel, I knew we would capsize.

"You're mine!" the driver from Apollo yelled. He was a first-year camper. I didn't remember his name, but he sure was confident. He'd learn not to be, soon enough.

"Yeah, right!" Luke yelled back.

He picked up his second javelin— a real risk considering we still had one full lap to go— and threw it at the Apollo driver.

His aim was perfect. The javelin grew a heavy spear point just as it caught the driver in the chest, knocking him against his teammate and sending them both toppling out of their chariot in a backward somersault. The horses felt the reins go slack and went crazy, riding straight for the crowd. Campers scrambled for cover as the horses leaped the corner of the bleachers and the golden chariot flipped over. The horses galloped back toward their stable, dragging the upside-down chariot behind them.

I held our own chariot together through the second turn, despite the groaning of the right wheel. We passed the starting line and thundered into our final lap.

The axle creaked and moaned. The wobbling wheel was making us lose speed, even though the horses were responding to my every command, running like a well-oiled machine.

The Hephaestus team was still gaining.

Beckendorf grinned as he pressed a button on his command console. Steel cables shot out of the front of his mechanical horses, wrapping around our back rail. Our chariot shuddered as Beckendorf's winch system started working— pulling us backward while Beckendorf pulled himself forward.

Luke cursed and drew a knife. He hacked at the cables but they were too thick.

"Can't cut them." He yelled at me.

The Hephaestus chariot was now dangerously close, their horses about to trample us underfoot.

"Switch with me!" I told Luke. "Take the reins!"

"But—"

"Trust me!"

Our magic words. He pulled himself to the front and grabbed the reins. I turned, trying hard to keep my footing, and summoned Riptide.

I slashed down and the cables snapped like kite strings. We lurched forward, but Beckendorf's driver just swung his chariot to our left and pulled up next to us. Beckendorf drew his sword. He slashed at Luke, and I parried the blade away.

"Try not to get me killed, babe," Luke drawled.

"That's what I'm doing, babe," I shot back.

We were coming up on the last turn. We'd never make it. I needed to disable the Hephaestus chariot and get it out of the way, but I had to protect Luke, too. Just because Beckendorf was a friend didn't mean he wouldn't send us both to the infirmary if we let our guard down.

We were neck and neck now, Clarisse coming up from behind, making up for lost time.

"See ya, Allie!" Beckendorf yelled. "Here's a little parting gift!"

He threw a leather pouch into our chariot. It stuck to the floor immediately and began billowing green smoke.

"Greek fire!" Luke warned, looking panicked.

I swore violently in Greek. I'd heard stories about what Greek fire could do. I figured we had maybe ten seconds before it exploded.

"Get rid of it!" Luke shouted, but I couldn't. Hephaestus' chariot was still alongside, waiting until the last second to make sure their little present blew up. Beckendorf was keeping me busy with his sword. If I let my guard down long enough to deal with the Greek fire, Luke would get sliced and we'd crash anyway. I tried to kick the leather pouch away with my foot, but I couldn't.

It was stuck fast.

Then I remembered the bracelet.

I didn't know how it could help, but I managed to punch the sapphire. Instantly, the bracelet changed. It expanded, the metal rim spiraling outward like an old-fashioned camera shutter, a leather strap wrapping around my forearm until I was holding a round war shield four feet wide, the inside soft leather, the outside polished bronze engraved with designs I didn't have time to examine.

All I knew: Tyson had come through. I raised the shield, and Beckendorf's sword clanged against it. His blade shattered.

"What?" he shouted. "How—"

He didn't have time to say more because I knocked him in the chest with my new shield and sent him flying out of his chariot, tumbling in the dirt.

I was about to use Riptide to slash at the driver when Luke yelled, "Allie!"

The Greek fire was shooting sparks. I shoved the tip of my sword under the leather pouch and flipped it up like a spatula. The firebomb dislodged and flew into the Hephaestus chariot at the driver's feet. He yelped.

In a split second the driver made the right choice: he dove out of the chariot, which careened away and exploded in green flames. The metal horses seemed to short-circuit. They turned and dragged the burning wreckage back toward Clarisse and Katie, who had to swerve to avoid it.

Luke pulled the reins for the last turn. I held on, sure we would capsize, but somehow he brought us through and spurred the horses across the finish line. The crowd roared.

Once the chariot stopped, our friends mobbed us. They started chanting our names, but Luke yelled over the noise: "Hold up! Listen! It wasn't just us!"

The crowd didn't want to be quiet, but Luke made himself heard: "We couldn't have done it without somebody else! We couldn't have won this race or gotten the Fleece or saved Grover or anything! We owe our lives to Tyson, Allie's..."

"Brother!" I said, loud enough for everybody to hear. "Tyson, my baby brother."

Tyson blushed. The crowd cheered. Luke spun me around and pecked my cheek before pulling back to wink at me flirtatiously. The roaring got a lot louder after that. The entire Hermes cabin lifted Luke, Tyson and I onto their shoulders and carried us toward the winner's platform, where Chiron was waiting to bestow the laurel wreaths.

* * *

previous | next

SERIES M.LIST | MAIN M.LIST | TIPS

#asaeato #a story as endless as the ocean #alliejackson #female percy jackson #lukecastellan #lullie #trinitymia

0 notes

i-like-sparkly-things · 3 years

Text

Stars in the night

A Jay × reader

Jay held you close, letting you cry. He rubbed your back, softly guiding his hand up and down your back. He rested his chin on your hair and feeling your breathing slow down, he pressed his lips against your forehead , letting his lips linger on your skin.

This is for day 2 of @resanoona 's 2k celebration!! Congratulations bb you deserve everything in the world!! I know how much u love Jay so here's my very first Jay×reader fic :) the prompt was stars+sky+love letters but I couldn't add the last one tho :(

Word count : 1.7k (this got out of hand oops)

Warnings : sarcasm, grief , death, kinda graphic death (?)

Note : is this extremely self indulgent cause i want someone to hug me? yes. does this have a plot ? no. good grammar ? no. good flow? no. either way, nothing i ever write will come anywhere near your incredible fics resa. but i hope you like this anyways.

MASTERLIST

"I can't believe this" You groaned, seeing the large clouds of smoke from the jeeps engine. You and Jay had the day off and were on a short trip to your childhood town. You passed the city border and were driving through the stretch of woods separating the two. Your plan was to spend the night in a hotel nearby and take in the sides of your hometown, which you hadn't visited since you were eleven.

******

That is, until Jay's Jeep gave up halfway through the woods.

"We're gonna die here, you know that!? There's like a million people who die in the woods every year." You stated, gesturing to the forest around you like a crazy person.

"Really ?" Jay gasped, pretending to be shocked "Well it's a good thing you have me"

"Oh my god" You rolled your eyes, "Yeah , I'm pretty sure the car broke down 'cause of the weight of your ego"

"Oh , you know you love me" Jay said, throwing a wink at you and opening his door. "Come on." He gestured, "Change of plans, we're going hiking"

Soon , the two of you were following the small trail through the woods. "You know, I never thought of you as the serial killer type."

"What are you talking about?" Jay narrowed his eyes, sounding offended.

"Oh please Jay , I've seen you eat noodles with chopsticks before. You're the messiest person alive! There's no way you would ever get away with murder." You explained , like it was the obvious answer. "Plus , I'm faster than you. I could just runaway if I wanted to" You shrugged.

"That sounds like a challenge to me" He smirked.

God, Jay knew you too well. He knew how much you loved to win. It took you less than a second to start running. You took large strides and swiftly avoided the trees and bushes. You felt your heart pounding from your chest as the air rushed past your face, as you manoeuvered your way through the dense forest.

But unfortunately, Jay wasn't far behind. You heard the rustle of leaves of his strides as he chased you.

But still, you were confident that you were going to win until you felt a pair of arms wrap around your midsection.

Jay effortlessly lifted you off the ground, "Jay!!!--" you shrieked "--let me go!!!" Your laughter echoed through the forest and Jay could swear that it was the best sound in the world.

How did he get so lucky? How did he even get here with his former arch nemesis?

You had always wanted to be a firefighter, ever since they rescued you from the car accident. Those firefighters.....they were there for you when you needed them the most, so you wanted to do the same for others.

And years later, you were the newbie at Firehouse 51 . Your paths often crossed during cases.

Now, normally this wouldn't be a problem.... except for the fact that the two of you couldn't stand each other. Jay's cockiness made you roll your eyes, scoffing at his so called 'detective' tone, while Jay hated you correcting him every chance you got. You being right all the time didn't help his ego at all.

But with your jobs, the two of you were often forced to work together, much to your displeasure.

You were an excellent team and your 'working together' slowly turned to long conversations. Soon , the two of you had designated tables at Molly's .

You grew together and made each other better.

With Jay, you didnt feel so alone anymore. You felt more loved than you ever had your whole life. And for the first time you could imagine a future.

And Jay.....Jay admired you to pieces. You thought him how to let go. Let go of his emotions, all his guilt that he had carried with him from his army days and his cop days. He learned better than to drown his thoughts in alcohol and to start looking forward to the people he can save, and not backward, to the people he couldn't.

The wind carried your laughter and Jay hoped that everyone could witness it.

He smiled, putting you down and turning you, bringing you flush into his chest with a firm grip on your waist.

"That's not fair!! You - you cheated!!" You panted, struggling to slow down your breathing.

"Please ... you just don't want to admit that I won."

You scoffed "You are unbelievable, you know that?" You smiled, tugging at his collar, lowering his lips to yours.

You sighed into the kiss, relaxing your body. You felt Jay's lips curl into a smile, as his grip on your waist tightened.

Catching your breath, you and Jay made your way to the edge of the cliff . You heard crickets and owls who called these trees their home. You saw fireflies crowd around you, lighting the night sky.

Jay laid his jacket on the ground, so you could make yourself comfortable. The two of you sat down, leaning against the tree and manoeuvring yourselves into a comfortable position, with your head on Jay's chest.

You could see the city lights in the distance. You had a clear view of your hometown from the cliff ; it was close enough to see the houses and streets but far enough to drown all it's sounds.

It had been a decade since you visited that place, but you remembered that day like it was yesterday.

Little bits of shattered glass littered your face. You lay in the back seat of your car, unaware of what was happening around you. You try to open your eyes but the blinding light only worsens the throbbing in your head.

The truck had ran the red light, ploughing through your car, dragging it across the length of the street.

"Mom? " you called out, pushing yourself up to lean on the car seat but neither of your parents acknowledged you. You could make out their slumped figures in the front seat with your blurry vision. But just before you blacked out, you caught a glimpse of the fire on the hood of your car.

You felt a tear make it's way down your cheek. It had gotten colder, you could see the outline of the cloud of fog from your breath. Jay wrapped his arms around you holding you closer to him.

You were jostled and turned and carefully extracted from the wreckage. You had woken up once again and found yourself surrounded by firefighters and paramedics pushing your gurney towards the ambulance parked around the corner.

"Your parents sheilded you from the flames. Don't worry, we're gonna take care of you hun." You heard. It was a soothing voice, calm and collected. You allowed yourself to close your eyes again, her promise echoing in your mind "You're going to be okay"

You leaned into Jay, shaking your head as you tucked yourself into the crook of his neck, as sobs ripped through you.

The next time you saw your parents, was at the morgue.

"No!!" Your ratchet screams echoed through the empty hallways. The medical examiners tried to pull you back but you didn't let go. Your frail arms hugged your mom and dad, who were covered in white sheets. "Please !! You have to come back to me!!"

"I miss them. I miss them so much." you whispered "It's been ten years, Jay. Ten fucking years. I should be over this by now."

"Hey , hey, look at me." He cupped your face, making your eyes meet "You don't have to be over anything. It's okay to miss them"

His fingers ghosted over your jaw and held your neck, rubbing his thumb over the base of your skull, where he knew was a scar you had gotten from the accident.

He looked to the sky, eyes widening at what he was seeing. He remembered all the stories you had told him that your parents had told you. "Y/n...."

You followed Jay's line of sight, to be welcomed by the ocean of stars above you. The pinpoint balls of light were scattered as far as your eyes could see, till they faded away into the horizon, where the sky meets the land.

"They're not gone y/n, they're right here, with us."

The corner of your lips curled into a small smile at the thought. Your mom and dad had told you lots of stories of the night sky. Maybe --you thought-- maybe, they were right. You really could feel people in the stars.

You felt the pads of your dad's thumb swipe away the tears on your ten-year-old self's cheek, after you crashed your bicycle.

You felt your moms hands thread through your hair, as she pulled it into a ponytail when you were eight.

You felt your six-year-old self's hand, wrap around your dads, guiding you into the park.

You felt your mom's soft lips upon your forehead, when she tucked you into bed, when you were four.

You felt the wind in your hair when your dad threw you up into the air, when you were two.

You felt....... them.

You felt......... loved.

"Yea .... they really are with us."

"I may not have met them, but you've told me so much about them. I see them in you everyday y/n. In the way you talk to people. In the way you laugh. In the way you smile. It's second nature for you to help others, just like it was for your parents to protect you. You run into burning buildings and climb skyscrapers without a second thought. You never hesitate to put your own life at risk, if it means that the next person is safe.

They're not gone y/n. Nobody is ever gone. You will always have pieces of them in you.

We are all a culmination, of the people we've loved."

You looked to the stars once again, relaxing into Jay's chest.

"They would be so proud of you."

You smiled softly, knowing that your parents would have loved Jay as well. Jay was right. You had your parents at heart and nothing would ever take that away from you. You will grieve and you will cry, but with Jay, you knew that one day the pain will be a little lighter, and a little easier to carry.

After all, nobody is ever really gone.

*****

If you enjoyed this fic please like and reblog/comment!! My masterlist is here!!

#jay halstead #jay halstead x y/n #jay halstead x you #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead fic #jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead one shot #chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd x reader #fan fiction #my writing

261 notes · View notes

just-here-for-the-moment · 3 years

Note

Hi and congratulations for the milestone!! 🎉🎉

I did promise I’d take the wheel for a spin and it must be fate because this came up:

It seems fitting, that man is known for his talents with his mouth, tongue and fingers 🥴🥴

I’ll leave you with a question to go with the result (feel free to ignore if it doesn’t tickle your fancy); how long does he last until Frankie has to have a taste?

Congrats 🎉❤️

Ohhhhh frick, how could I POSSIBLY ignore that question?? Because now my head is simply reeling with HOT THOTS about Frankie Morales, finally eating you out, after you tease him endlessly.

And, of course because this is Frankie, I have to tip my hat to the seminal masterwork of “All Hail the King” by Kat @pilothusband, without which we would not have the headcanon of Frankie Morales as the pussy-eating king, which we all now know as gospel...

Thank you for helping me celebrate! There’s some real hot stuff under the cut, people!

The Game

Word count: 4500

Outline: Frankie Morales x “You” (cis/het female reader; “blank canvas”/no physical description/no name/no use of “Y/N”)

Warnings: Mature/Explicit, 18+ only; mature and vulgar language; mentions of making out; teasing Frankie; one mention of oral sex/M receiving; oral sex/F receiving; vaginal fingering; Frankie has a FILTHY praise-kink mouth; Frankie going primal caveman on your pussy when he finally gets there

You’ve been on two previous dates with Frankie, and each one has ended in some truly smashing makeout sessions. The man is an excellent kisser, and it’s been so long since you had that, you’ve gone a little crazy with just kissing on your first two dates.

On your first date he took you out for a drive to the scenic overlook, and after an hour of good conversation, the sun had set low behind the ocean and you made out like teenagers in the cab of his truck for another hour.

Date two was an action movie, and since the theater was practically deserted when you sat down, you got a wicked idea. You tickled your fingers into the curls at the back of his neck and invited him to join you in the back row, and you made out again for all 105 minutes of explosions and punching. Neither one of you remembers the plot.

Tonight is date three, and after an early dinner out, you’ve decided that it’s time to invite Frankie back to your place to see what else he can do with that talented tongue.

You pour him a cold drink and he sits on your couch, but neither one of you really wants to talk. There’s too much electricity in the air. Your head is fuzzy with want. You’ve been able to kiss him plenty, but you haven’t had the chance to do more. And then you get another idea, a leftover ‘game’ from your teenage years, something that was hot back then when you played it with your boyfriends… maybe it still works?

“Do you want to play a game?” You slip your feet out of your sandals and tuck one leg under you to swivel toward him on the couch. You smile at this handsome, sweet man with your most secret smile and bite your lip as he frowns and looks at your bookshelf full of board games.

“You mean like Scrabble?” His confusion is adorable, and you giggle as you move closer to him on the couch, your voice low… “Not like Scrabble.” You flutter your eyelashes up at him and now his frown is gone, replaced by a look of interest.

“What kind of game did you have in mind, pretty girl?” And now he looks very interested, his broad hand coming up to your shoulder to stroke your arm, pulling you closer for a kiss. But you don’t let him pull you in all the way, you stop a few inches from his face and whisper… “A naughty game.”

And now you can see the sheer hunger in his eyes. The way his pupils flare and his deep coffee eyes fix onto your lips. He tries to go in for a kiss and you pull away, just out of reach. You hold up one finger and place it to his lips, stopping him in his tracks.

You smile up at him from under your lashes. “That’s the game.”

“I have to chase you?” He flicks his eyebrows up, not looking impressed.

“No. We try to get as close as we can, but we can’t touch. We tease each other, just to see how long we can hold out.”

He chuckles. “That’s a terrible game.”

“You don’t think anticipation is hot? How about this… what do you want to do to me the most? If you play my game you might get to do it.”

He looks less skeptical now. He glances at your lips, then back to your eyes, before his gaze trails down, down, down your body. You shiver, and from his look alone, you feel hot and cold all at once.

You’re starting to think this might be… well, not “dangerous,” just more of an experience than the last time you played, which was at an age where the absolute wildest possibility was that you would get to feel a boy’s hand on the outside of your bra.

You bite your lip and blink with nervous anticipation, waiting for him to take the bait. He could decide right now not to play and you would still let him ravish you, let him put his mouth and hands and dick wherever he wants. You would welcome it.

He meets your eyes again, and you hold your breath, feeling a heat creep up to your cheeks and down to your cunt at the same time. His whole body is still, except for the rise and fall of his chest, moving breaths slowly in and out, and his big brown eyes that blink occasionally as he considers you with a thoughtful expression.

This is torture, waiting for his answer. You’re about to break first, tell Frankie he doesn’t have to play your silly game, when he moves just his mouth. His bottom lip opens a crack, and his tongue slides out of the corner and sweeps across that plush, velvety top lip, half-hidden under his scruffy mustache.

He moves the tip of his tongue slowly, deliberately, keeping his eyes fixed on your face... watching you watch his mouth. You suddenly realize that this is his opening move, he’s playing your game already, and he’s playing you as well. You set the rules, and he’s already winning.

You release a shaky breath and scoot an inch closer on the couch. You flick the tip of your tongue out, letting it wet your bottom lip. You bring your lower lip in between your teeth and bite down hard, watching Frankie’s eyes drift to your mouth. You release your lip from between your teeth and then exhale a sigh and a breathy moan of, “Hmm…”

You reach your hand up to open the top button of your thin cardigan, the one you like to wear because it’s your color and it’s soft and it fits you like a dream. But it’s also the one that you wear on third dates on purpose, with no blouse underneath it - just a lacy bra and a heart full of hope pounding in your chest.

He watches your fingers with that hungry look resurfacing, the one that made your stomach flip a moment ago. He scoots closer to you, closing the gap until his denim-clad leg is a centimeter from your knee, one arm draped over the back of the couch, thick fingers resting just an inch from your shoulder.

No touching, you had said. Frankie is making it clear to you that he knows the rules and will play them to their limits. He reaches up to the neck of his denim shirt, the top two snaps already open, and then he unsnaps two more. The neck of his shirt falls open, and the amber light from the lamp scatters across the planes of his neck and clavicles. You can’t tear your eyes away from his golden skin, and you feel the emptiness of your pussy as it starts to leak into your panties.

Frankie holds himself still, waiting for your next move. You aren’t sure what to do next, and truthfully your brain went completely blank the moment you caught sight of Frankie’s chest. You decide to raise the stakes. You get up from the couch, moving to stand in front of Frankie where he sits. His deep brown eyes are watching you intently, smoldering as he takes in your form just an arm’s length away. His gaze skates from your face to your breasts to your hips and back up, and you wait until his eyes come to a stop before you make your move.

You reach up to the second button of your cardigan and open it, then the next one. You see Frankie’s eyes go wide, pupils flaring black as he realizes what you’re doing. You fight the giddiness that surges up inside you, forcing your face to remain as neutral as possible. You see Frankie’s cock twitch once in his jeans, and you are delirious with the sudden realization that you’re holding quite a lot of power over this gorgeous man.

Your fingers continue their dance down your buttons until all of them are free, and then you grab the lapels of your cardigan. Frankie’s eyes flick to your hands where they hover at your breasts, and you pause, drawing the moment out for as long as you deem just short of cruel. You open the cardigan and shed it from your shoulders, tossing it on the couch seat you just vacated.

Frankie takes a sharp breath in, and his eyes flutter closed for just a moment. When he opens them again his brown irises are nearly blown black with arousal, and you almost feel bad for escalating the game this far. You take three steps backward toward the hallway, curling your finger to draw Frankie up off the couch. You break the silence with one word, “Bedroom.”

He surges up off the couch so quickly that you think he’s decided to break, to just grab you and pounce on you and end the game. But instead he halts a foot away, and looks deep into your eyes with a smirk. Something like a warning in the back of your brain tickles, uh-oh.

Frankie starts to undress, and as you see more of his golden skin in the low lamplight, you start to think that you might concede first. He sheds his baseball cap, then his shirt, tugging the remaining snaps open with a single pull. You drink in the sight of his naked torso, the soft patches of hair that mimic his delectable facial scruff, the breadth of his wide shoulders, and the curve of his abdomen where it meets his waistband. There’s a faint trail of hair that leads down, and now you’re dying to follow it where it leads.

He toes his work boots off, then opens the fly of his jeans. He pulls them down and off with his socks, and now he’s standing in your living room, clad only in a pair of black boxer-briefs, the soft cotton fabric doing a valiant job of containing his massive erection. You fight the urge to sink down to your knees and rip his underwear off, shove your mouth down onto his cock, see how deep you can take him. You hear yourself shudder as you inhale, nearly a sob, and it echoes in the silence and stillness of the room. Frankie looks pleased with himself, coiled and waiting for your next move. He must know how close you are to breaking.

You take another few steps backwards, keeping your eyes on Frankie as he follows you down the short hallway to your bedroom. You open your jeans as you cross the threshold, pushing them down along with your underwear and kicking them off into a corner. You reach behind you to unclasp your bra, and Frankie pauses to watch you, hands braced on either side of the doorway where he stands, his corded neck and shoulders tensed. You reach up to one shoulder and slowly pull the strap down. Then you do the same to the other strap, moving deliberately, watching Frankie’s ears go slightly pink as he clenches his jaw. You stand with your back to the wall, and you rest your back and shoulders against it, no longer trusting your watery knees to hold you upright. Then you tip your jaw up at Frankie. Your move.

Frankie crosses the room swiftly, long legs eating up the distance between you. He braces each large hand on the wall on either side of your head, then leans in closer, caging you in. His dark eyes fix on yours, and for just a moment you forget how to breathe. His gorgeous hooked nose is just an inch from yours, and if you tilted your head up you could bump noses, engage him in a kiss. But you’re not ready to give in just yet.

You gaze into the liquid cocoa pools, and inhale as silently as you can through your nose, smelling the clean cotton scent of Frankie’s detergent as it mixes with the masculine musk of his deodorant, the expanse of his tawny skin giving off its own salty hints. You feel a sharp twinge between your legs, another clench of your pussy, and now that’s all you can think about. You’re throbbing and wet, hot and getting hotter.

You press your thighs together in a futile attempt to relieve the ache, but it only makes it worse. You exhale and it comes out on the back of a whine, a faint noise that you know Frankie hears, because his expression changes to hunger again, mixed with a secret and knowing smile that tells you that you’re in deep trouble with this man. You have underestimated him, and you’re going to learn that lesson in a very memorable way.

Frankie is sweet and kind, soft-spoken and gentlemanly. You try to think back to what you assumed would happen when you proposed this little game, that maybe he would get a little bit horny, play along with you for a few minutes, and then pretend to give in just to get his arms around you. Instead, you seem to have awakened a strategist, someone who is used to making important calculations toward an end goal. You mistook Frankie’s softness for something it definitely is not, and now you’re regretting having challenged him. He’s not going to go easy on you.

Your stomach does that sick roller-coaster thing that it does sometimes, and you feel your heartbeat kick up a notch as Frankie uses those sharp eyes of his to inspect you. His penetrating stare moves from your eyes to your lips, which part involuntarily, an invitation to kiss you if he dares to give in first. He breathes slowly through his nose as his eyes trail down to your breasts and back up, taking in every inch of your bare skin. You feel like you’re being strangled by his gaze, but it is delicious.

Frankie takes his hands off the wall and then drops slowly to his knees. You look down at him in surprise. He opens his mouth and his voice is low and commanding. “Hands above your head for me, sweetheart.”

You lift your chin level with the floor and lace your fingers over your head, leaning harder into the wall with your shoulders. Your heart thrums in your chest, a steady tattoo that reminds you that you’re alive, but that also makes you feel very close to passing out. You try to remind yourself to breathe, breathe, breathe. You widen your legs just a bit for stability, and you hear Frankie chuckle low in his throat.

He starts talking, and were it not for the wall holding you up, you swear that you would buckle to the ground as he bathes you with his delicious, filthy monologue.

“Did you know,” Frankie intones, his voice raspy with desire, “... that you have the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen?”

You rush an exhale out through your mouth, and suck a great heaving breath back in. He’s only just started, and you’re not at all sure that you’re going to survive this. You dare to tilt your head to look down at Frankie, but his eyes are not on yours, they’re staring intently at your pubic mound. He’s transfixed, the secret smile gone as he stares between your legs.

“In fact, I think that this might be... the most tempting pussy that I’ve ever had the pleasure of looking at. I could just bury my face in her right now.”

You feel like you can’t breathe, and you lace your fingers tighter behind your head as you stare down at Frankie’s soft curls, his nose just inches from your sex, his tongue dripping honey as you feel yourself getting wetter. Frankie continues his dirty talk, spilling the gorgeous, filthy words right into the center of your being.

“I would definitely like to taste her, see how she drips for me when she really gets going. Do you drip or do you squirt, honey?”

You clench your butt muscles and lean your shoulders even harder against the wall, a desperate attempt to stay upright as your knees threaten to give out. An involuntary whine slips out from your lips, and Frankie tilts his head to look up at you, that mischievous smile curving back across his lush lips.

“Would you like that, darlin’? Would you like me to eat you out?”

You bite your lips hard and struggle to stay standing. All you want to do is give in, collapse down onto Frankie and let him have his way with you. You feel another new rush of slickness hit your center and you almost break. Not yet, your brain whispers. Just wait...

Frankie turns his face back to your pelvis and then braces his hands on the wall, so close to your hips that you can feel the warmth emanating off his skin. But again, not touching you, he’s staying within the rules that you set for him. He’s too good at this, and now you know that you’re definitely going to lose.

Frankie slowly leans forward, bending his elbows to move his face closer and closer to your crotch. His nose comes an inch away, then half an inch. For a moment you hope that he will slip and make contact and lose, but he doesn’t. He has excellent muscle control and his arms don't even quiver as he finally stops, hovering just a centimeter in front of your cunt. You are wetter than you ever have been, and you swear that you can feel it leaking down the inside of your leg, trailing down your thigh as Frankie tortures you.

His voice is a whisper now, velvety and soft, and you strain to hear him above the rushing of your own heartbeat in your ears.

“You smell amazing, honey.” He closes his eyes and inhales, taking your scent into himself like you’re the sweetest flower at the farmer’s market.

It hits you suddenly that this is the most debauched, most intimate thing you’ve ever done with a lover. No man has ever dared to just smell you like this, and you feel something twist inside the bowl of your pelvis, like a spring being wound tighter. You realize that you’re not breathing, and you open your mouth into a little o-shape to take a slow, cooling breath into your lungs. You regain your steadiness and settle deeper into yourself to try to hold out, to hang in there just a little longer.

“I bet that you taste like heaven, pretty girl. I can’t wait to fuck you on my tongue, lick you inside and out.”

Frankie leans back and looks up at you with a wink. “After you touch me first and lose, I’m going to lick this pussy so hard that you come six times while you scream my name.”

You gurgle out a surprised, “Oh!”

Frankie sits back on his heels and stands back up, a little triumphant, like he knows how close he pushed you to the edge.

You release your hands and place your palms flat on the wall by your hips, not trusting them to hang loose at your sides, lest they decide to reach out and skim over his broad shoulders of their own accord. You look up at Frankie where he hovers over you, and you lick your lips and whisper to him.

“Frankie, I want you. Please touch me.”

He arches one eyebrow at you. “Does that mean you want the game to end? Are you giving up?”

You close your eyes and shake your head no, and for a moment you’re not sure if you’re even capable of playing the game any longer. Your head is fuzzy and your skin is screaming to be touched. You take a deep breath in and then out, and when you open your eyes Frankie is looking at you with concern.

“Do you give up, sweetheart? Or do you want to keep playing?”

You choke out a strangled whisper, the barest hint of speech. “I want… I want…”

Frankie comes closer, bracing himself on the wall again, big arms boxing you in as he moves into your space. He tilts his head down and murmurs, “Tell me.”

You look up into his eyes and the whole room tilts to the left. All you can see is Frankie, and he’s all that matters while the rest of the world spins dizzy around you. You feel sick with anticipation, and you know that this is your fault, that you were the one who proposed this stupid torturous game in the first place.

You just want it to end, you need it to end now.

“Frankie, I… I want…”

“You want me to eat you out? Stick my tongue inside that gorgeous pussy and fuck you with it until you come? Is that it?”

He leans closer and still doesn’t touch you, just keeps stringing you along with his depraved poetry as he tilts his head to hover an inch from your ear.

“Or maybe you want me to finger-fuck you, too? Stretch you open and see how good it feels? I bet we can make your pussy squirt, make you gush around my hand when I reach deep inside and hit your g-spot. I bet you’ll soak the bed, you sweet thing. Maybe squirt clear across the room.”

“Oh god.” You whine and duck your chin, trying to resist the urge to turn your head toward him and make contact, kiss him and then let him go wild, do all the things he’s been threatening to do.

“Frankie, I…”

“You what, sweetheart?” His tone is just this side of mocking, and it makes your cunt clench.

“I need…”

Frankie pulls his head away from your ear and looks you directly in the eyes.

“Use your words pretty girl.” His voice has an edge now, firm, sounding like a direct order. “Tell me what you need.”

“I- I want, I need… I need you inside of me. I want you everywhere, Frankie.”

“Yeah? You need me, sweet girl? You need Frankie to take care of you?”

Your face crumples, a whine of pure desire making your throat ache. Your pussy drools another bit of slick down your inner thigh. You want to cry, and Frankie frowns at you with genuine concern.

“I can take care of you, sweetheart. Anything you want, you just say the word. But first…” He leans his head down lower, lower, lower and stops, his warm breath fanning over your lips as he whispers.

“... first you have to touch me.”

You moan at that, the unfair knowledge that all you have to do to get everything you want is to give in. And he’s so close, his nose just a centimeter from yours. All you would have to do is lean up, kiss him, and-

Frankie abruptly pushes off the wall and takes two steps back from you. The sudden absence of him makes something in you snap. You rush at him and practically knock him over, kissing him with a snarl and wrapping your arms and legs around him as he laughs in surprise. He braces both big hands under your bottom and half-carries you to your bed.

He plops you down on the bedspread and then leans down over you as you kiss and kiss and kiss him. Now that the dam has broken, you’re not sure you’re ever going to stop, and you don’t give a flying fuck that you just lost at your own game. As far as you’re concerned you won, because you’re naked on your bed with Frankie laying over you, his hard cock pressing against your wet seam through his boxers.

You open your legs wide and wrap them around Frankie’s waist, and he kisses you before pulling back with a gentle shush against your lips.

“Wait wait, pretty girl. We’re not gonna fuck yet. I gotta eat you out first.”

“No Frankie, please. Please just fuck me.” You clutch and grasp at him, trying to pull him into you. He braces himself on his arms and hovers maddeningly over your face as he smiles.

“No, baby. You said if I played your game you would let me do what I wanted. You lost. I win.”

Frankie moves his mouth to your ear and whispers. “I get to eat your pussy until you’re screaming my name.”

You moan, a high-pitched cry of defeat. You want him inside of you now, not a moment longer. You’ve been tortured and taunted long enough, and you haven’t even gotten a glimpse of his cock, other than to see the impressive way that his erection fills out the contours of his boxer-briefs.

Frankie kisses you and tells you to release your legs, and then he stands up and wraps his big hands around your ankles and pulls you to the edge of the bed. He kneels on the floor and looks up to your face with a wicked smile, the look of a man who is about to enjoy his victory over you.

You try to remind yourself that you lost, fair and square, and now your punishment is that you will have to wait to feel Frankie’s huge cock stretching you open. You’re going to have to take your punishment like a good girl.

Frankie pushes your legs up and back toward your chest, and you hook your hands behind your knees to hold them open. He takes the first tentative lick of your clit, and you cry a soft “Oh!” and toss your head back.

Frankie’s fingers stroke your outer labia, top to bottom, and he spreads you open with his fingertips. You feel the cool air hit your slick, and then the hot swipe of his tongue through your folds. This is torture, you think, but only as much as I deserve.

Frankie licks your clit gently before suddenly surging into you tongue-first, going as deep as he can, licking into you deeply. He curls his tongue up as he withdraws, and he hits the bundle of nerves on the underside of your clit. He does it again and again and again, and before you can warn him that you’re about to come, you’re shuddering and breaking apart in his mouth.

Frankie eases two big fingers into you and you’re grateful for the thickness of them, giving your muscles something to clench and squeeze around while Frankie softly licks your clit, working you through your climax. When you finally relax your legs, he sucks your clit into his mouth and then releases you with a smack of his lips.

“That’s one, pretty girl, but I didn’t hear you scream my name. We’ll see if you can do that with any of the other five.”

Frankie dives back into you face-first, and fulfills all of his threats from the game.

---

“Everything bagel” tag list: @quica-quica-quica @anaaaispunk @justanotherblonde23 @gracie7209 @nicolethered @honestly-shite @driedgreentomatoes @dihra-vesa @1800-fight-me @the-queen-of-fools @juletheghoul @kesskirata @honeymandos @silverwolf319 @mourningbirds1 @greeneyedblondie44 @spacedilf @maxwell–lord @anxiousandboujee @cevvie @sherala007 @writeforfandoms @libellule2001 @deadhumourist @mandoalorian @javierpinme @eri16 @mandocrasis @pilothusband @bastillealmighty @eri16 @jitterbugs927 @babiiface95 @toomanystoriessolittletime @yespolkadotkitty @fisforfulcrum @prettylilhalforc @mswarriorbabe80 @littlemisspascal @wildemaven @coreychick @castleamc @coreychick

#JHFTM 300 followers celebration #You ask and JHFTM delivers!#pedrostories #pedro stories #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fic #frankie morales x you #frankie catfish morales x you #frankie morales x reader #frankie catfish morales x reader #frankie morales x female reader #frankie catfish morales x female reader #frankie morales smut #frankie catfish morales smut

441 notes · View notes

emwritesfootball · 3 years

Text

Exploration | John Stones and Rúben Dias

Warnings: oral sex (male giving and male receiving / male giving and female receiving), mention of drinking, praising, male/male love

A/N: based off of this post from @bluemoonstonesy so it’s basically just John and Rúben going at it x

- - -

The pub was loud and crowded, moreso since the massive City win over United in that evening’s Derby. John Stones and Rúben Dias sat quietly in the corner, happy to not be bothered at the place they frequented. Of course, they’d had to sign a few autographs for newcomers who recognized them, but most of the patrons knew to leave them be.

“Dias! Nice goal tonight!” A drunken patron called out, raising a pint in the footballer’s direction. “Nice assist, Stones!”

Rúben and John thanked him, cheersing in his direction. “We make a great team,” Rúben murmured, draining his beer.

“That we do,” John agreed, nodding.

“John Stones is it really you?!”

“Fuck!” John hissed under his breath, him and Rúben sharing an annoyed look. They were garnering attention again, this time from the drunks. John knew from experience that it was bound to get crazy now that they’d been spotted by people who weren’t familiar with the etiquette of approaching footballers outside of a stadium.

“Can I have an autograph?” The drunken girl asked, flashing him and Rúben a smile that worried the both of them.

“What do you have for us to sign?” Rúben asked and John let out a groan when she flipped up her top to reveal a lacy bra.

“One tit for each of you,” she replied, winking in Rúben’s direction. It was common knowledge that John was taken but Rúben was still single and received a majority of flirtatious comments whenever he and John went out together.

Rúben eagerly put the permanent marker to her boob, passing it off to John who looked unamused as he signed the other. She stumbled away but not before telling Rúben to ‘call me...anytime’ which made him and John laugh because she hadn’t even given them her name.

John’s phone buzzed with an incoming text from you. “What do you say we go back to my place? Far less crowded and we can celebrate the win in peace.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

John returned your text, letting you know he was on his way home. He nodded to the bartender who knew to close out their tabs and they were out the door five minutes later.

***

“Oh!” You gasped, your gaze flickering between your boyfriend and Rúben when you answered the door. “I was only expecting John.”

“My bad,” John said, ducking his head bashfully. “I specified ‘we’ in my text.”

You gave him a smile, shrugging. “I just figured you were talking about yourself and all your personalities.” Rúben laughed, and you turned your attention to him. “Hey, Rúben.”

“Hi.”

You opened the door a bit wider to let the two of them in, wandering over to the kitchen to grab a few more beers, handing one to your boyfriend and another to Rúben. You could feel Rúben’s eyes on you, but you didn’t mind - there was a running joke between you and John over who Rúben loved more. You were wearing John’s kit; when you’d gotten his text saying he was on his way home, you had planned to celebrate the win by fucking him in his jersey, but your plans changed when you opened the door to find Rúben with him.

“I’m sorry, was I interrupting something?” Rúben asked, gesturing to the kit you were wearing and the lacy panties that peeked out every so often.

You waved a dismissive hand. “Not at all! I was just going to surprise John with a little victory sex, but I’m always happy to see you.”

“Besides, if we get really horny, I’ll just kick you out,” John joked.

“Or he could stay.” The innuendo left your mouth before you could censor yourself. Instead of keeping quiet, though, you continued, “I’m sure Rúben likes to watch.”

Rúben swallowed hard, his gaze vacillating between you and John. “I, uh...yeah.”

Your smirk grew. “What do you think, John? Should we let Rúben watch?”

“I think we should let Rúben do whatever he wants,” was John’s response.

You walked over to Rúben who was sharing a loveseat with your boyfriend. John let out a possessive growl as you leaned down to kiss his teammate, pulling back right before Rúben tried to deepen the kiss. You shifted over to straddle John, giving him a kiss that left him wanting more before letting him go with a groan. You kissed your way down John’s neck, sucking a mark into his skin while keeping your eyes on Rúben.

Rúben’s breathing changed, his breath coming in pants as he watched you kiss your boyfriend. You could see him shift in his seat, the bulge in his joggers growing. “Johnny,” you cooed, running your hand down his chest, “I think we should let Rúben join in.”

John nodded, his eyes glassy with lust. You watched as he leaned over and cupped Rúben’s cheek without hesitation, the two men looking at each other for a moment before John leaned in and kissed Rúben.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” you whimpered, rutting your pussy on John’s crotch. He shifted, causing you to tumble off his lap and onto the ground. You instinctively spread your legs, your eyes glued to John and Rúben as their kisses turned heated.

Rúben’s fingers tangled in John’s hair, tugging on the strands. Your boyfriend moaned into Rúben’s mouth and you couldn’t resist pushing your panties to the side and sliding your fingers between your already-slick folds.

John ran a hand down Rúben’s chest, stopping to cup his bulge. Rúben bucked his hips, moaning as John’s hand dipped beneath the waistband of his joggers. “Let me make you feel good,” John rasped, pausing as Rúben wriggled out of his joggers so that John was able to free his teammate’s dick.

You knew how good John was with his mouth - after all, he’d used it on you countless times to give you multiple orgasms. The sight of your boyfriend getting down on his knees for someone other than you would’ve made you jealous, but if you were to let John go down on anyone else it would’ve been Rúben.

Rúben shivered as John cupped his balls, John running his tongue over the shaft of Rúben’s hard cock and swirling around the tip. Rúben let out a groan as John made a point to tease, kissing Rúben’s inner thighs and V line before returning to the now-leaking head.

“How does he taste?” You asked, whimpering as you finally slid a finger inside your pussy.

John’s response was to gag on Rúben’s length, deepthroating the Portuguese footballer.

Rúben’s voice was strangled as he beckoned you over. “Come here, Amada. Let me taste you.” Sweetheart.

You pulled your fingers out of your dripping cunt, your walls clenching around nothing at the sudden loss. Rúben shifted so you could straddle his face while John sucked his dick.

It wasn’t often that you forgot the four-year age gap between you and Rúben, but the 24-year-old tongued your pussy with expertise you hadn’t expected for someone four years your junior. Each moan from Rúben’s lips went straight to your clit and you couldn’t help bucking your hips over his mouth as John elicited the reaction that caused you to cum quickly.

You got off of Rúben’s face, glancing over at John who was absorbed in his teammate’s dick. John worked Rúben’s dick like a lolly, spit and pre-cum coating the head and shaft as your boyfriend sucked off his teammate like he was rewarding him for that goal tonight. “Fuck, Johnny, you look so fucking sexy,” you praised, making sure you had the perfect view of both John and Rúben.

Rúben let out a low whine, his fingers fisting in John’s hair to hold your boyfriend in place as Rúben came down John’s throat.

Both men were breathing heavily as John pulled himself off Rúben’s cock, looking up at his teammate. Rúben leaned down, his tongue swirling with John’s as he tasted himself on John’s lips while John kissed your juices off Rúben’s mouth.

Rúben’s fingers reached for the hem of John’s shirt, pulling it off and baring your boyfriend’s tattooed chest to his teammate. “So sexy,” he murmured in Portuguese, running his hand down John’s tattoos.

“Your turn,” John grinned, taking off Rúben’s shirt.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me in the changing room,” Rúben teased as John explored his chest. “You’ve wanted to touch me for a while, haven’t you?”

“Mmhmm,” John hummed, nodding. “Just because you’re my mate doesn’t mean I haven’t had certain thoughts about you.”

“It’s true,” you replied when Rúben looked at you in question. “Have you looked in a mirror lately, Dias? You’re sexy as fuck.”

Rúben blushed at your words, and John pressed kisses to his sternum to turn Rúben’s attention back to John. Rúben’s hands explored John’s body, too, the two men exchanging kisses and words as they touched each other. You watched as John laid back and let Rúben take his pants off, Rúben’s fingers tracing over the tattoos on John’s thigh.

You touched yourself as you watched the two of them explore their bodies. You’d never seen John like this with another man and your mind couldn’t help wandering, imagining what it would look like to see John taking Rúben’s dick - or vice versa.

The two of them put on a show just for you, cognizant of the fact that you were watching them. Rúben stroked John’s dick, teasing your boyfriend with a handjob that almost rivaled your own. You came when John did, your second orgasm just as powerful as the first one Rúben had given you.

“Fuck, that was so hot,” you gasped, trying to catch your breath. Rúben cleaned up John’s cum with his tongue as you sucked your own fingers clean.

“Don’t worry, love - next time we’ll let you join in,” John promised, getting up and giving you a kiss.

“You don’t have to do that,” you replied, smirking. “I’m happy to just watch the two of you go at it, but I think we need to make this a regular occurrence.”

Two weeks later…

There was a knock at your door after the latest City home match and you opened it, grinning at Rúben. “John’s already here and ready for you,” you murmured, taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom.

206 notes · View notes

likeitloveitblogit · 3 years

Text

Just Hold Me

I had a dream that got stuck in my brain, so I decided to turn it into a Loki x fem!reader fanfic. Here it is. Please be gentle this is the first but of my writing I've shared.

Pairing: Loki x fem!reader

Summary: After a rough battle fighting with the Avengers you skip the party to recover in your room at the Avengers tower. There you're visited by a drunk Thor and a comforting Loki.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warning: non consensual kissing, mention of assault, pain, mention of death, they all need therapy

What to expect: Me turning a dream into a Loki fluff therapy session.

From your room in the Avengers tower you could still hear the sounds of the party. Another victory for the team meant another raging party to celebrate. You loved a good party, but you had taken a few too many hits during the mission and had chosen to head back to your room.

A knock sounded at your door, "Y/N, are you there?" You heard the gruff voice of Thor.

The god of thunder and his brother Loki had become members of the team after defeating the Dark Elves in London. There had been a drunken night when Loki confessed to you he had considered faking his own death and stealing the throne of Asgard. But Loki had chosen to help fight, winning the battle and the approval of the Avengers. Not everyone had accepted them completely, but you understand that people were capable of change and had become friends with the pair.

"Y/N?!?" Thor called again, pounding a little harder on the door.

You rise from your bed and walk to the door, opening it you find a very clearly drunk Thor. It took a great deal of drinking to get the god drunk. You chuckle thinking about how much he must have consumed, but then notice that his eyes are full of tears.

"Thor, what's wrong?"

"Can I come in?"

Normally you didn't let anyone into your room. You were a fairly open person, happy to share, but your room was your safe place to get away and recharge. Standing there, leaning slightly against your door frame Thor looked completely broken, so you open the door and gesture for him to enter. Leaving the door open you follow Thor into the room.

You weren't sure how to handle having a guest in your room. But Thor walked over and sat on your bed, like he owned the place. "I'm sorry to bother you, I just, I was at that party and everything was good. You know we had that Asgardian wine brought in, so much better than anything here on Midgard. But then I saw a woman in the crowd that looked just like her. And I thought, I don't know, I thought maybe she had only faked it, maybe she'd just been lost and now she'd come to find me. I ran over to her, but the woman was just some stranger."

From your spot learning against the wall you asked, "Who do you mean? Jane?"

"Ha, I've lost her too. I seem to lose everyone I care about. But no. I thought I saw my mother"

That broke your heart. That same drunken night when Loki had confessed thinking of faking his own death, you two had also talked about Frigga's death. Unsure how to comfort the god then you had sat with Loki, holding his hand while he cried. Loki had been so close with Frigga, a part of Loki had changed when the guard had delivered the news of her death. Being in prison unable to even attend the funeral had stirred a desire to be a better person in Loki.

Even though you had seen Loki's grief, somehow Thor had seemed stronger, less affected, but Frigga was his mother, too. The loss of a parent is a terrible thing to deal with no matter how strong of a person you might appear to be. And clearly alcohol made the Asgardians emotional wrecks, because here now was the god of thunder sitting on your bed, body racking with sobs.

You sat down next to Thor, reaching to take his hand. Instead Thor pulled you into a crushing hug. Your first instinct was to pull away from the pain, you had really taken a beating in that fight. But Thor was your friend and he was hurting inside, so you relaxed. Rubbing circles on his back, you whispered "it's ok, you're ok" while you let him cry on your shoulder. The two of you sat like that for a long while before Thor released his hold on you.

You were about to ask Thor if he was feeling better, when he looked down at you and leaned in to kiss you. A million thoughts ran through your brain all at once. Fear struck you the strongest, and you scrambled away, backing up until your back was against the headboard. "What are you doing?"

"Um, kissing you," Thor said as he crawled toward you, hovering over you he leaned to try and kiss you.

"Well, stop it" you put your arms in front of your face trying to push him away. "Stop it, stop it, stop it"

Thor's strong arms easily push your own hands out of the way. But just as Thor leaned in towards you, he was ripped from on top of you.

Frightened, you look up to see Loki shoving Thor away, placing himself between you and Thor. "The lady told you to stop. What has gotten into you brother?"

"You don't know anything stupid brother, just leave us alone" Thor lunges for Loki, but Thor is still far too intoxicated to stand a chance in a fight. Loki easily pushes back and Thor nearly crashes into the wall.

Before Thor can lunge again Loki summons a pair of daggers and points then at Thor. "Brother you're drunk. You need to calm down. I don't want to hurt you, but if you try to hurt Y/N, I'll have no choice."

"Brother you wouldn't dare."

Loki points the daggers more directly at Thor "I don't know what is happening here but you know that I will do anything to defend a lady's honor."

"Oh, so you're just such a hero now? A perfect little prince charming? You're not defending anything. You're just jealous because Y/N invited me into her room and not you."

You stand up, careful to stay behind Loki. "Thor, nothing was going to happen between us. You came to me, crying and I offered you a hand to hold because I knew you missed your mother. You hugged me and I let you because you are my friend. But that's it. You are my friend and I don't want any more than that. You should thank Loki for keeping you from doing something you'd have regretted."

"You think I'd regret kissing you?"

"No, I think you'd regret kissing someone who didn't want to be kissed. You'd regret taking advantage of someone you cared about."

"I, I thought you'd want to kiss me"

"You buffoon, not everyone wants to have their face crushed in by your giant head."

"Hush Loki," you walk toward Thor, Loki tries to pull you back behind him but you touch his arm gently, and step forward. "Thor you know I do care about you, but I don't feel that way about you. Look, I know you have had a lot to drink tonight. And you have a lot of emotions running through you. I mean you thought you saw your mother, that has to be really hard to deal with. But you made a mistake."

"I thought, I just. Uh, I'm sorry"

"I know. Right now I think it is best if you go back to your room, get some sleep, and we can talk more in the morning, once you're sober."

"But,"

"You heard her brother. She is giving you a very generous offer. If you don't accept and leave now, I will make you. And I won't be nice about it."

With a final look at you, Thor leaves your room.

Once Loki is sure that Thor is gone, he sets his daggers down and turns to you. You register that he chose to set them down rather than magic then away, but chart it away as a question for later.

Approaching you, hands raised like you are an animal he is afraid to spook Loki asks, "Y/N, are you ok?"

"Yes, yes. I'm fine." Which is a lie, you're anything but ok. Unsteady on your feet, you nearly collapse.

Loki reaches to catch you and leads you to sit on the bed, "oh Y/N, what did he do to you? I'll kill him if he has hurt you."

"Thank you, but I'm actually just a little worse off than I thought from that fight today. All this has just made me extra aware of how tired I am."

"I'll go get Banner or Strange, or one of the others."

"No," you reach and grab onto his arm.

He looks down at the way your hands tremble as they hold onto his arm. "But, Y/N, you are unwell."

"I'm not sick. I'm not injured, well not more than normal after a fight. I'm just tired. Honest."

"Well then I'll leave you to rest"

But you only hold more tightly, "please don't"

"Don't what?" His breath catches as he looks down into your eyes.

"Please don't leave me. I don't, I don't want to be alone right now."

"Ok, I'll stay." Loki sits next to you, shifting his arm to take your hand. You rest your head on his shoulder and look at the interlocking of your fingers with his.

"Thank you."

"Thor is a buffoon, but I don't think he meant to harm you. He's not used to anyone not wanting him. Not that what he did was ok. I'm not trying to say it was ok."

"Loki, I know. I understand that he was hurting. And I guess I'm a beacon of comfort and he mistook that for romantic attraction. Honestly I think he would have stopped once he realized what he was doing. But I'm still so glad you were there."

Despite Loki's comforting hold, and the circles he was tracing with his long thumb, your hands still shook. "Y/N is there something more bothering you?"

Tears pricked the corners of your eyes. "When I saw your brother crawling towards me, I got so scared. I didn't see Thor, my friend. I saw that crazy guy from the factory today."

You could feel the moment the switch clicked and rage burned in Loki, "Wait did something happen? I don't remember a guy. Did this guy…, did he …, do something to you? I will end him."

"Oh Loki, my sweet murderous Loki. You actually already did."

"What?"

"You probably don't even remember, it was the heat of the battle. I'd gone in to clear the next room when I got knocked down and bumped my head. When I woke up, one of the baddies was dragging me by my ankle into the office, muttering about a sweet reward. How much fun he was going to have with me. He was reaching for me when you stormed in. I don't think you even saw me behind the desk, but you grabbed the guy before he could touch me. I didn't see what you did to him, but I heard it and it sounded very bloody."

"Oh gods, Y/N, I had no idea you were there in the back office. That guy looked deranged, even if we hadn't all been given orders to kill on sight I would have killed that man. If I'd known you were there I'd have made sure you were ok."

"I hid under the desk until you'd left and then I ran straight back to the jet. I felt so bad for not helping more with the fight, but…"

"Y/N, no one would ever blame you for running. That's not something anyone should have to face. Oh gods, and then my stupid brother had to come in and loom over you."

"He didn't know."

"No but that doesn't mean it wasn't terrifying, just the same."

You can't find the right words, and simply give a small nod. After a second of silence the question pops back into your brain. "Why did you leave your daggers on my nightstand? Why didn't you magic then away like you normally do?"

"Oh, uh, I was going to offer to let you borrow them. Just in case Thor tried to come back and visit."

"That's really sweet, but I've never been good with knives. I don't know if I'd even know what to do with them."

"Hmm well is there anything I can do to make you feel safer?"

There was a moment when you thought about saying, no. Telling Loki you'd be safe with his daggers, and sending him back to his room. But you couldn't do it. You could not send Loki away. Not when he felt like the only safe thing in the world. A breath of air after you'd been drowning all night. So you asked what you really wanted, not caring that it made you feel vulnerable.

"Can you hold me?"

"Are you sure you want that?"

"Yes I'm sure. I mean if you don't want to, I won't make you."

Loki gingerly wraps his arms around you, until you squeeze him half to death and he returns with a proper hug. Still holding you he says "I just didn't know if you'd want to be touched after… today and then my brother"

"You are not a brutish villain and you are not your brother. Do not take this as anything but a compliment, but right now the fact that you're not a big oversized muscle man is really comforting. And well neither men got the chance to do anything because of you."

"Y/N, I am so sorry you had to go through all of this. But I'm really happy that you find me comforting. I have done some terrible things that I deeply regret. And I've been afraid for so long that I'd never be able to find someone who felt safe around me."

"Everyone in this tower has done things that they can't take back. Things they regret. Including myself." You breathe in the scent of Loki, winter frost mixed with leather and metal, wondering when that scent had become so comforting to you. "But for right now, your arms feel like home and I don't want to ever leave."

"I will be here to hold you as long as you need."

"I'm going to take you up on that offer, because I might have a concussion, so you're going to have to watch me to make sure I don't die while I sleep."

"Humans are far too fragile."

"That we are. But that's an issue to deal with another day. Right now I just need you to hold me." You whisper as you lie yourself down, pulling Loki down with you. Carefully he wraps his arms around you pulling your little spoon body against his own big spoon body. Listening intently to your breathing as you drift asleep, Loki decides that he never wants to stop holding you.

291 notes · View notes

watchmegetobsessed · 4 years

Text

Waiting for you - Harry Styles

❄️ FANFICmas 2020 ❄️

Read more about FANFICmas here!

i wrote it over like a month ago, but kept it for today, i hope yall will like it! it’s a cute bestfriends to lovers fic, so yeah... happy holidays, hope you are having an amazing time!

word count: 13k

masterlist

Harry Styles has been a household name around your home, but not for the reason many would think. While for the rest of the world he was the famous singer, former member of One Direction and recent solo artist, the guy who performs at the biggest arenas, wins awards and sings his heart out through the radio, for you and your mom he was the goofy, curly haired boy who lived across the street with his mum, sister and stepdad.

You still remember all too clear the first time you met him. You and your mum just moved into your new home after the nasty divorce of your parents, ready to start a new life. You’ve barely turned twelve, it was quite the awkward stage of your teenage years, you were still trying to find yourself on the rocky road of growing up. Moving to a whole new town and switching schools were terrifying and you had quite a few nightmares about possible outcomes of being the new girl in the neighborhood.

You and your mum just finished unpacking the dishes in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. She rushed to answer it and you wandered behind her, curiously peeking at the guests under her arm as she held the door open.

“Hi! We saw the trucks and thought we would say hi! I’m Anne and this is my son, Harry,” the nice woman greeted your mum and stepping aside she gestured towards the teenage boy standing next to her.

His green eyes fell to you almost immediately and you forgot to breathe for a moment. You were not the kind to crush that easily on guys, well, not until you laid your eyes on Harry. He smirked at you, nodding in your way in such an easy-going manner and you could feel the heat crawling up your neck to your cheeks and ears.

Anne and your mum quickly became good friends. She was the rock your mum definitely needed after such a bad year behind her and you were glad she found support in such a wonderful woman as Anne. Their newly funded friendship got stronger day by day until the two families just… simply felt one.

Growing up the Styles siblings and Anne came and go in your home as if they lived there too. On many occasions you came home from school only to find Anne in the kitchen while your mother wasn’t even home. Anne always knew when your mum was working the night shift at the hospital where she was a nurse and always made sure you had a warm dinner on those evenings, often inviting you over to just stay at theirs while your mum was away working. Birthdays, graduations, Easters and Christmases, they were all spent at either yours or at the Styles home, strengthening the bond between the two families.

You have always had a strong friendship with Gemma, but maybe because you were closer in age or for something else, but you became the closest with Harry. Two peas in a pod, as your mums liked to call the two of you. You weren’t just neighbors or good friends, it was clear to anyone and to both of you as well that you were the best of friends. You were there for each other at the best and worst of times, before and after Harry’s launch to stardom. You were there with him all along, sometimes physically, sometimes just through text messages and reassuring calls when he just needed a piece of his home away from home. Late night calls and talks were your usual when he was on the road and he made sure to only talk about his life after you’ve told him everything about yours, even if the most interesting thing was that you were able to buy three socks for the price of two. Harry listened and cared for everything that happened to you, not letting you think even for a moment that he would forget about his best friend when he is on the other side of the planet.

The two of you grew up together and while his life consisted of concerts, screaming fans, telly appearances and award shows, your mundane everydays went on the same was as any normal young girl’s: you graduated from high school, went to uni and then started a career for yourself. As time was moving it became a little more and more complicated to stay as close as you used to, though, both of you terribly busy with your own personal lives, so the calls, texts and meetings became less frequent, but you were always able to pick up from where you left, it was as easy with him as it could be.

Maybe that’s why you grew to love him in a more than friendly way through the years. Slowly, but surely you started to realize what an amazing man he really was –is. It was impossible not to fall for him, however you valued your close friendship more than to just ruin it with dropping a bomb on Harry. You always thought he doesn’t feel the same way, so you were sadly left with your daydreams and fantasies about him only your bedroom walls heard.

This year it’s gonna be the tenth Christmas you get to celebrate together, quite the anniversary. There were only two years when you didn’t see each other during the holidays, the first one because you and your mum spent it in Canada with some relatives that live there, and the second one was because Harry couldn’t come home a few years ago, having a too tight schedule. But this year, everyone made sure to make it back home in time. Harry called you three month before Christmas to check in if you are still gonna coming home.

“Would be an idiot not to. Can’t wait to stuff my head with cookies!” you chuckled.

“Have you found your sweater yet?” Harry questioned, the muffled noise of the traffic around him broke through the line as he was on his way home when he called.

“Not yet. But I’ve been looking. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna win this year,” you smirked in victory.

“Oh, not so fast with the assumptions, little girl!” he warned you making you laugh.

The two of you had a kind of tradition. Every year, you go on mission to find the ugliest Christmas sweaters one could find, and then perform a chosen song at the karaoke machine after dinner, entertaining the rest of the family. Those performances are the best memories you nurse. Your absolute favorite one was just a couple of years ago when Harry’s sweater was filled with weird looking reindeers in quite inappropriate poses, he even added a glittery pair of sunnies and he sang I Want To Break Free from the Queen. Everyone was on the floor laughing as he took the living room by storm as if it was the Maddison Square Garden filled with thousands of screaming fans, while it was just the five of you.

He won that year, Hell, even you voted on him, giving him the cleanest win of all times, but you swore to live up to that performance and you really feel like this year is gonna be your chance to live up to that promise. You have quite some tricks up your sleeves.

These past couple of years you were anxiously waiting for the holidays to roll around, because you knew you would get to spend so much time with Harry and through the year, even with several occasions of the two of you meeting, you missed him dearly. Sometimes you selfishly wished he would have just stayed the boy across the street so your lives could take tracks that run at least close to each other, but you always reminded yourself that his work was his life and you would have never taken away his true passion and happiness. Besides, you love watching him perform from time to time, that was just one of your favorite sides of him, see his eyes shine so bright as he sang to his fans. You used to envy the fangirls, it always seemed like he had a special connection with them, but you realized that you were one of them. You felt the same excitement when he stepped on the stage, you bought all his albums, even though he made sure you’d be one of the first people to get your hands on it. You had a second copy of them, because buying it gave you the extra jolt of happiness and the feeling that you were a tiny part of his success too. You watched all his music videos, knew the lyrics to his songs and cheered on him whenever he won another award. Difference was that at the end of the day you could call him and tell him how proud you were of him and he stared back at you with that beautiful grin, his dimples digging deep in his cheeks, telling you that he wouldn’t be here without you. You always knew he just said it to make you feel special, but he insisted it was the truth.

“I’m telling you. It you weren’t with me I would have gone crazy already, pulling a Justin Bieber or summat. Don’t think you are any less than what you are, that’s just daft.”

Every time he said something along those lines those damned butterflies in your stomach went crazy and you tried your best to ignore them. You didn’t always succeed, but the effort was there.

Now it’s two days before Christmas and you are already standing in your old room after coming home from London, leaving your small but cozy little apartment empty until the next year. The walls are still the same lilac color you chose when you were fourteen, a twin bed is pushed against the wall under your window, the wardrobe’s door is littered with old pictures from high school and ones you cut out from magazines. You just never got around to take them down and after a while it brought you a comforting sense every time you came home. A warm nostalgia took over you when you saw them, so they eventually stayed.

Your suitcase is lying on the floor as you unpack some stuff you’ll be using often during your stay, but you don’t get far in the packing when you hear an all too familiar voice coming from downstairs. Leaving your stuff as it is you rush down and throw your arms around Anne from behind, who is standing in the kitchen with your mum.

“My sweet angel! How are you?!” she cheers turning around in your hold to hug you back, giving you a tight squeeze before she pushes you away so she can have a good look on you. “Swear you get prettier every time I see you!”

“Stop it, my head’s gonna get big,” you chuckle feeling yourself blushing a little.

“Never gonna stop praising my daughter,” she smiles and gifts you with a cheeky wink.

Anne was never shy to let you know that she thought of you as a second daughter and you still remember how it felt when she called you that for the first time. It felt nice to know that you could count on her no matter what.

The three of you chat in the kitchen, Anne asks you about your job and how things have been going, she hasn’t seen you in a while. You missed the times when you could just go across the street and have a talk with her whenever you wanted, but since you’ve moved to London, Harry wasn’t the only one you didn’t get to see as often as you would have wanted. Your job and life overall got you so busy sometimes, you barely had time to call your own mum.

“Harry is arriving this evening. Wanna come with us to fetch him up at the airport?” she asks you and of course you say yes. You wouldn’t miss the chance to greet him with a bone crushing hug just after he lands.

However, as the time nears when you’d have to leave to the airport, Anne calls you up and asks if you could go on your own.

“I didn’t finish cooking and Gems is in an online meeting. Would you mind if you went alone?” she asks and though it sounds a little made up, you don’t question her.

On your way to the airport you are nervously drumming on the wheel, the thought of seeing Harry excites and worries you a little. It’s been months since you last seen him in the flesh and though you’ve talked plenty of times on the phone and in video calls, it’s just not the same. You find yourself wondering if he still smells the same, if you’ll fit the same way into his embrace as before. When you were younger you often liked to think about the two of you as two pieces of legos when you hugged. Your frame just fitted so perfectly against his body, he was your absolutely favorite person to hug.

Standing in a corner at the terminal, you keep checking the board until his flight’s status changes to landed. Then your eyes are glued to the sliding glass doors, knowing well it’s gonna take him some time to get his bags and walk out, but you are just way too excited to finally see him again.

People start walking through the doors and your head perks up every time you see a slightly tall frame, only to realize it’s still not him. Until it is.

You can’t bite your growing smile back when you spot him, a beanie and the hood of his hoodie covering his mop of hair, sunnies hiding his eyes, but you’d recognize him even from just the tiniest detail. You push yourself away from the wall as you see him look around, probably searching for his mum and sister, because he was already on his way when Anne decided it’s gonna be you who fetches him up, so he doesn’t know about the change.

“Excuse me, can I get a picture?” you ask teasingly walking up to him and for a moment you can tell he believes it’s a fan who recognized him, but his face quickly changes once his eyes land on you.

“Fo’ fuck’s sake, you had me for a second,” he breathes out, his arms already reaching out to pull you against him and you gladly envelop yourself into his hold. “What are you doing here?” he mumbles tightening his arms around you, and you don’t mind it. As you face is pressed into his shoulder you smile when you realize that he still smells the same. Like home.

“Your mum asked me to come and get you because she didn’t finish cooking. But if you ask me she just wanted to surprise you with me. You happy to see me?” you smirk up at him letting your head fall back so you could look into his eyes.

“Always,” he grins before placing a soft kiss to your temple and letting go of you.

The two of you leave the terminal before anyone could recognize him and packing his stuff up into the car you head back home.

You hand your phone over to him once you hit the road so he can be in charge of the music and it’s no surprise when he starts playing Christmas music straight away. Grinning to yourself you glance over at him and see him scrolling through your camera roll like the nosy little gremlin that he is.

“Hey! I did not give you permission to snoop around my phone!” you warn him, but don’t try to snatch it away from him, there’s really nothing he shouldn’t see, besides, half of those pics have been sent to him through messages.

“Just tryna catch up w’ you,” he mumbles under his breath, continuously opening up photos he is interested in. “New couch, eh?” he asks showing you the screen for a second.

“Yeah, bought it a few weeks ago. You like it?”

“Looks comfy. I should try it out sometime.”

“You never sleep on my couch, what are you talking about?”

“Right, you always drag me t’ your bed,” he snorts and you gasp at him, smacking his chest gently.

“That’s so not true! You always just arbitrarily make yourself comfortable in my bed and I don’t have the heart to kick you out,” you correct him.

There hasn’t been many times when Harry crashed at your place, but when he did, he always slept in your bed with you, and the two of you have shared a bed a few other times prior too. It’s nothing new, though it does have a deeper meaning for you than for him, you think. Waking up with Harry snoring lightly next to you, admiring how peaceful and beautiful he is in this intimate state, you just wish you could see him like this all the time.

Harry smirks at you cheekily, scrunching his nose as he chuckles.

“’Cause I wouldn’t want to sleep anywhere else, Love,” he says before turning his attention back to your phone while you try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach at the nickname.

It’s quite late by the time you get home, you’ve run into some traffic, but it just meant more time with Harry. You gladly listened to his stories and you are happy you got some alone time with him. Parking up to your driveway you help him unload his bags before locking the car.

“Wanna go to the Christmas market in the morning? Promised Gemma I’d go with her and Michal,” he asks, slowly walking down the driveway towards his home.

“Uh, sure,” you nod smiling. Not that you had any other plans, the holidays are reserved for family and the Styles’ are family.

“Great, I’ll be here at ten. And thanks for the ride,” he smirks waving goodbye and you watch him cross the street before he disappears in his home and you do the same.

“Y/N? Is that you?” your mum calls out when you walk in.

“Were you expecting anyone else?” you ask, hanging your coat before you join her in the living room.

“Not,” she smiles giddily. “Was everything alright at the airport?”

You throw your legs over her lap and she squeezes your ankles playfully.

“Yeah, everything fine.”

“How is Harry?”

“Cheeky and smug, as always,” you huff smirking.

“Can’t wait to see him. I feel like I haven’t seen ‘im in ages.”

“When are they coming over tomorrow?”

“Anne said she’ll come around four to help me cook, the rest I don’t know. Dinner will be done around seven though.”

“I’m pretty sure Gemma and Harry will be here along with Anne,” you snort, knowing well they wouldn’t miss a chance to come over, especially Harry. He has been talking nonstop how he’ll be glued to your hip once he is back home, making up for all the time you’ve spent apart.

“They surely will,” your mum chuckles before you both turn your attention at the telly.

You go to bed way after midnight and finish up the packing you left abruptly when you left to get Harry. Shuffling around in your room you glance out the window and see that the light in Harry’s room is on too. Peeking out you lean against the window’s frame, thinking about the times when the two of you sat in the window, talking on the phone after curfew, keeping your voice down so your parents didn’t wake up, sharing secrets and your silliest thoughts. With Harry, you never felt like you had to keep anything back, he would have never judged you for anything, you could be your true self around him and vice versa.

A tall figure appears at the window and as Harry glances out his window he is quick to see you sitting on the window sill, your head resting against the frame. The two houses are not far away from each other and you see him grinning as he sits at the window as well, pulling out his phone, a moment later yours starts buzzing on the nightstand. You quickly grab it, and go back to the window.

“Creeping on me, eh?” he hums into the phone and you roll your eyes at him.

“Was just admiring the street lights, don’t flatter yourself, your head is getting too big,” you huff, but you can’t push your smirk down.

“Admit it, you were hoping to see me roam around naked, weren’t you?”

“As if I haven’t seen you like that before,” you snort making him laugh too. It’s true, Harry has never been shy to get rid of his clothes and he also doesn’t bother to draw the blinds whenever he is changing. You once saw him butt naked when he was nineteen, and when you told him to close the blinds next time he is changing, he just shrugged with a smug smile.

“’M not ashamed of anything, Love,” he told you and you had to turn away because you were blushing for sure.

“Right, you’re a fan of putting yourself on full display when you’re naked, almost forgot,” you chuckle shaking your head. “Millions of girls have the picture of you, lying naked on their walls.”

“You one of them?” he cheekily asks.

“Nah, doesn’t go well with the vibe of my apartment.”

“Shame. Though I think it would definitely look amazin’ above your bed, Love.”

“Now would it? I don’t know about that.”

“I’ll get you a copy framed,” he smirks and you can see it clear even from the distance. “Y’ know what? I’ll make you an exclusive one. One that nobody else has, how does that sound?”

“I can’t believe you, Styles,” you chuckle shaking your head. “I’m not gonna answer this, just gonna head to bed. You should too.”

“So we’re not sharing any secrets like we used to? Thought you’d have something fo’ me.”

“You know everything, Harry,” you sigh with a soft smile, though your heart skips a beat. He does know everything, except one big, fat, heavy secret you’ve been carrying around for way too long, that will probably stay with you forever.

“Right. Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Night, Harry.”

“Good night, Love,” he murmurs and you know he is smiling, thought he steps away from the window as he says goodbye and you do the same before ending the call.

***

“Hey! That’s mine!” you protest as Harry steals another roasted chestnut from your little paper bag, but you can’t stay mad at him when he is smiling at you so sweetly.

“Sorry, tastes better when it’s someone else’s.”

“Sure,” you snort and just let him get as many as he wants. You wouldn’t have eaten it all anyway.

It’s quite cold out in the town, but at least there’s no rain or storm, so the weather didn’t try to ruin your little trip to the Christmas market.

Gemma calls out for Harry to show him something and you just keep wandering between the booths, enjoying the atmosphere quite a lot, you have no idea when was the last time you got to come to the market, though you always loved coming when you were younger.

Finishing up your chestnuts you throw the paper bag into a trash can and turn around to find the rest of your little group, spotting Harry and Gemma deep in discussion next to a booth that offers handmade ceramic mugs. As you walk closer it almost seems like as if they were having a fight, which is just odd, they rarely do that.

“Just get your head out of your arse!” you catch Gemma telling her brother who only groans in frustration before he spots you, a smile plastering across his face.

“Hey, there you are!” he beams.

“Everything alright?” you ask looking at them.

“Sure, just Gemma is being a little nosy, is all,” Harry waves in dismiss. You glance over to Gems, but she is already back in discussion with Michal so you decide to drop it. “You ate all the chestnuts?” Harry asks offended, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“Well, it was mine, so of course I ate them!”

“Selfish,” he narrows his eyes at you, but you both know it’s just a joke.

You walk further down in the aisle, occasionally stopping at some of the booth when you spot a place that offers hot chocolate in cute little mugs that you can take home with you if you’d like, or just take it back and get your money back.

“Oh look!” you gasp excitedly and head towards the hot chocolate booth. The old lady smiles brightly at the two of you as you take a look at all the choices. “Oh my god, they have caramel flavored!” you cheer, basically already drooling at the thought of a good, caramel flavored hot chocolate.

“What can I get for the lovely couple?” the lady smiles warmly at the two of you and you freeze at her assumption.

“Oh we—“ you start, but Harry cuts you off.

“A caramel flavored and a plain one, please,” he orders, without even batting an eye about how the lady just called you a couple. You can feel your cheeks heating up at the thought, but you try to calm yourself. He probably just didn’t want to get into explaining that you two are not an item and let her think what she wanted.

The nice lady hands you your mug and you take Harry’s as well as he pays for both of them. You would try to argue with him and pay yours, but you are already used to how stubborn he is and he never lets you split anything, it’s always on him.

“Thank you, have a nice day!” Harry calls out to the lady before the two of you leave. You peek at him handing him his mug, looking for any clue that would give away if this little scene got him just as bothered as it did you, but he looks perfectly fine and relaxed, so you decide not to bring it up. You’re sure he didn’t think much of it.

Your little stroll stretches into the afternoon, the four of you decide to have lunch out there too, then you just opt for a walk in town as Gemma wants to do a quick last minute Christmas shopping, so by the time you get home Anne is already over at yours helping your mum with dinner. Tonight you are all eating at yours, then tomorrow it’s the Styles’ turn to host, this is how you agreed this year.

“Woah, it smells amazing!” you call out walking into the house. The delicious smells fill up the whole place and you hear the two women giggling in the kitchen.

“Hi Honey, how was the market?” your mum greets you, a glass of red wine in her hand and the same goes for Anne.

“Great, we have a new mug,” you say holding up the emptied out hot chocolate mug. Stepping to the sink you wash it quickly and drying off you put it away in one of the cabinets.

You stick around in the kitchen and not so much later Harry comes over, the two of you leave your mums alone and get comfortable in front of the telly.

All channels are filled with holiday movies and you don’t mind, really, you like them all even if you’ve seen them a million times, you still find them funny and cute. Harry feels the same way, so when you settle on Love Actually he doesn’t say a word.

What startles you is that he grabs your ankles and pulls your legs over his lap, a small shriek escaping your mouth since you weren’t expecting him to do that. You’re sitting sideways, your legs are bent at the knee and Harry is kind of hugging them as his eyes are glued to the screen.

You find it rather hard to focus on the movie when Harry’s fingers keep fidgeting on your legs, they keep running up and down, sometimes he lays his hands flat on your knees, there’s no spot he hasn’t touched since you started watching the movie.

About an hour into the film he turns to you and you look at him in question.

“’M in the mood to cuddle,” he announces and starts moving around, not even letting you protest as he basically crawls to your lap, resting his head on your stomach as the two of you lay on the couch.

“Am I now your personal pillow?” you ask chuckling, but you wouldn’t want him to move for anything. Feeling him weigh down on you just feels so warm and simple but amazing.

“The best one,” he mumbles, bringing a hand to your side as you let your fingers comb through his curls.

You keep massaging his scalp and he lets out soft moans when you go over a soft spot, you can’t help but chuckle as he melts under your hands. His fingers start drawing circles on your side and the movie is long forgotten by you, all you can focus on is how great it is to have Harry so close to you. He is known to be a physical person, you are used to hugs and touches, but it seems like he is a little needier now than the usual.

You don’t mind it though, you just try to enjoy the moment, because it can end anytime.

Gemma and Michal come over a little before seven, and while your mums finish up the cooking the four of you set the table. You grab the crystal glasses and start placing them to the table, Harry lending you a hand. Once the table is all set you shuffle into the kitchen to see if there’s anything you can help with, Harry following you behind, placing a hand to the small of your back.

As you stand and wait for you mum to finish up the meals so you can help carry them to the table you feel Harry’s hand wander over to your hip, giving it a squeeze as he stands closer, so his chest is pressed against your back.

“Harry?” you ask a little out of breath.

“Hm?” he innocently hums.

“What’s with you today?” Turning your head to the side your eyes lock with his, but he just shrugs smiling.

“Guess I just missed yeh a lot.”

“You’re weird,” you chuckle shaking your head, but don’t make an effort to push him away. His touch feels way too good to put an end to it and you just want to be selfish a little longer.

His hands leave you when the two of you help to bring the food to the table, and you almost wish they would just return, but you gotta swallow the thought.

The food is amazing, as always. You all sip on some wine, just having a genuinely good time, enjoying that all of you are back at one place, something that rarely happens now that all three of you kids are all grown up.

At one point Harry rests his arm on the back of your chair, no one seems to notice but you. All these little things have been driving you crazy all day and your mind seems to be playing a nasty game with you. There’s no way Harry thinks of these details more than what they are, a friendly gesture towards an old friend of his.

When Gemma is telling a story about some weird guy she met at work Harry reaches up and pushes your hair behind your ear, his finger lingering over your neck a little longer than you would have expected. Turning to face him you give him a questioning look, not sure what to think about his needy and touchy self all of a sudden.

“What?” you mouth him, but he just smiles at you absentmindedly, curling a strand of hair around his finger, playing with it for a moment before letting go of it and going for another lock. You reach up and pull his hand away, feeling yourself heating up from his touch, but when you are about to let go of his hand he grabs yours, lacing your fingers together with yours as he rests them on his thigh.

“Harry…” you breathe out, glancing at the others, relieved to see that they are not paying much attention to the two of you.

“What? Am I not allowed to touch you?” he asks with a smug smirk and you roll your eyes at him.

“As I said, you’re weird,” you mumble under your breath looking down at your now empty plate. Harry gives your hand a squeeze.

“But like, the good kind of weird, yeah?”

“Shut up,” you chuckle shaking your head at him.

You try to tell yourself he is just needy because it’s been so long since you last saw each other. It can’t be more, you push even the smallest thought to the back of your mind, though it surely lingers there throughout the evening.

He helps you with washing the dishes, you stand arm to arm at the sink as you scrub the plates and hand over to him for drying. He gently hums to himself all along, swaying his hips, bumping against yours. At first you resist it, but then you catch the rhythm and start moving along, so your hips meet in the middle before swinging to the opposite side.

“What’s the song?” you ask finishing up the last plate.

“Just something random,” he shrugs smirking over at you. You hand him the last plate, he is still singing, making up gibberish lyrics to his song and once he puts the plate down he throws the kitchen cloth to the counter and easily grabs your waist pulling you against him as he starts swaying with you to his impromptu song. You let out a small shriek at the sudden movement, but eventually melt into his hold. The humming slowly turns into an all too familiar melody as Harry starts singing Sweet Creature into your ear, slow dancing in the kitchen while you hear your mums and Gemma laugh outside somewhere.

Your hands run up his arms and stop behind his neck as you lock your fingers and let him hold you close, his palms are pressed to your waist, fingers gently stroking you through the fabric of your shirt. You take a deep breath and his cologne fills your nose, one of your favorite scents, sometimes you just wish you could spray it on your pillow so it would always smell like him.

“Sweet creature, wherever I go, you bring me home…” he softly sings, leaning back just enough for your eyes to meet. It feels like your heart is about to burst out of your chest, it’s not the first time you feel so intimidated by him, like you could pass out any moment, but this is a little different. As if his eyes were telling you another story, but you can’t completely make up the words.

“Sweet creature, when I run out of road, you bring me home, you’ll bring me home.” He finishes the song, hums the closing melody and you watch him in complete awe. Your lips part when you catch his gaze move down to them and you swear you see him leaning closer, as if he is about to kiss you. Your breath gets caught in your throat, he is so close, just a few more inches and you’d taste those perfect lips of his, the ones you’ve been dreaming about for way too long.

It almost happens, it seems, but just when that last push is about to set in Gemma waltz into the kitchen and you step back faster than light, pushing him away even though the sudden lack of his touch is more painful than you were expecting.

“You guys—Oh, what’s up?” she asks stopping at the door and you feel yourself getting redder with each passing moment, the heat crawling up your neck, ears cheeks, right to the top of your head. What were you thinking? You let yourself believe Harry would ever kiss you, this whole scene was nothing more than just a friendly moment the two of you were sharing.

“I’m—sorry,” you breathe out making your way out of the kitchen, right up to your room to have some well needed space.

“Way to ruin everything,” Harry snickers at his sister.

“You joking? You wanted to kiss her in her mum’s kitchen?” Gemma snaps at him in disbelief.

“We were having a moment,” he mumbles rubbing his face with his hands. “Up until you stomped in with your big mouth.”

“Well, if you were havin’ a moment, just make it happen again.”

“As if it’s that easy, Gemma!” he scoffs throwing his hands in the air.

“Man up and tell her how you feel, don’t have to complicate it too much,” she shrugs before walking out and leaving her brother alone. Harry growls in frustration, the gears in his head turning wildly as he is trying to figure out how to come clear to you about his feelings.

Meanwhile, up in your room you get out your laptop and busy yourself with checking up on messages and emails you’ve been ignoring, hoping that the uneasy feeling in your chest will ease very soon. Your hands were shaking when you locked yourself up in your room, but as you get focused on other tasks you slowly gain your balance back.

You kind of even forget that the Styles’ were over, you only realize that you abruptly pulled yourself out of the evening when there’s a soft knock on your door.

“Come on in!” you call out and a moment later Harry’s head pops in, eyes softly falling on your sitting figure on the bed. “Hey,” you smile at him faintly.

“Hey. Thought you were sleepin’s or summat.” Coming inside he closes the door behind him then sits on your plush rug in the middle of the room.

“Just… sorted some work related things out,” you sigh.

“Working during the holidays? Tha’s not healthy.”

“I know, I’m done,” you smile shutting the laptop down and putting it aside. “Sorry I disappeared, I just—“

“No worries,” Harry shakes his head. “Mum and Gems went home, they thought you were sleeping too, tha’s why they didn’t say goodbye.”

“Oh, alright.”

“But I thought we could have a sleepover,” he peeks at you with a boyish smile.

“What, like we did in middle school?” you chuckle.

“Yea, thought it would be fun.”

“Well, I don’t think my bed would fit us comfortably and we don’t have the mattress anymore that you used to sleep on,” you tell him looking around.

“Nonsense, I’m not tha’ big,” he insists hopping to his feet and throwing himself on the bed, ignoring that you’re already there. His body takes up more than half on the bed , limbs wrapping around you as he brings you down to the mattress next to him, you can’t help the laugh that leaves your lips.

“You’re like a gigantic baby, Harry!” you laugh as he keeps you down on the bed with his arm.

“It’s perfectly fine for two people,” he mumbles with a smirk, closing his eyes as his head sinks into your pillow.

“Do you ever get no as an answer?” you ask looking at him in awe. You can never get used to seeing him so up close, like not many get to.

“No,” he huffs in satisfaction, his arm bringing you closer to him and you just giggle at him.

“I’m not sleeping just yet, gotta have a shower first.”

“Do what you want, I’ll be here,” he mumbles but you snort at him.

“You’re not sleeping in my bed without having a shower,” you tell him before you grab your pajamas and head to the bathroom.

You have a quick shower and get done with all your evening business. Returning to your room you find Harry sitting on the floor, his back against the side of the bed as he is scrolling through his phone.

“Does mum know you’re staying over?” you ask him as you throw your used clothes into the hamper, moving around the room while feeling his eyes on you.

“Yeah. ‘S all good.”

“You need a towel?”

“Yes please,” he says pushing himself up from the floor.

“Clothes?” you ask with an arched brow. He just grins at you and it’s enough of an answer. “Here,” you give him the shirt and sweats he has left at yours quite some time ago, along with a clean towel.

“Thanks,” he smirks before leaving to occupy the bathroom.

He doesn’t take long in there, you’re lying in bed already when he returns, smelling like your shower gel, strawberry and melon.

He throws his clothes to the chair in the corner and then lies beside you on the bed. You scoot over to the wall to give him space, but he is quick to bring you closer to him once he has made himself comfortable. You lay your head on his shoulder as you are both scrolling through your phones.

When you had enough, you throw yours to the nightstand, and stay cuddled up to his side.

“Do you remember the last time I slept here?” he asks tossing his phone to the nightstand and bringing his arms around you.

“Mm, was it at my twentieth birthday?”

“Yeah. You were so wasted,” he chuckles and you smirk to yourself

“But you took good care of me.”

“I did. You were so cute, rambling about how much you love me when I took you home from the pub.”

You bite into your bottom lip. You still remember that night vividly. Your birthday party had gone a little wild and you had gotten drunker than you intended to. Luckily, he was there to bring your home and he stayed in the bathroom with you as you threw up everything you ate and drank that evening. Then he made you take a shower, got you fresh clothes out and helped you get into bed. He slept next to you that night, holding you in his arms, gently caressing your back and upper arm as you fell into your drunken slumber. In the morning you told yourself he just did what any other friend would do, helping you out when you were clearly knocked out, but he made you breakfast in the morning since your mum was working all night and morning and he stayed over later the afternoon to make sure you were alright.

What you told him in your drunken state about loving him, it wasn’t just your friendly side, it was your drunken self coming clear to him, telling him that you are in love with him, but he didn’t take it seriously and you were too ashamed and awkward to even bring it up to him after that, so it was all forgotten very soon.

Following that you planned on telling him how you feel, several times. You even wrote a little speech you planned to give him when the time comes, but you couldn’t do it. The fear of losing him if he doesn’t feel the same was stronger than you expected and every time you had the chance to come clear, you chickened out. The thought of losing him as a friend is way worse than having to push your feelings down... forever. You just can’t imagine your life without Harry in it and you can’t risk losing him.

The two of you talk for quite a while, laughing about the good old times, until you both fall asleep. Sometime in the middle of the night you wake up and feel Harry wrapped around you, his head lying on your chest as he is snoring softly. He truly is like a big baby, an arm thrown over your stomach, his legs tangled with yours. Good Lord, how amazing it feels to have him so close to you!

Reaching up you tangle your fingers through his hair gently so he doesn’t wake up, his soft curls glide between your fingers easily and lifting your head you kiss the top of his head before letting yourself drift back to sleep.

When you open your eyes the next time the situation is the opposite, you are the one cuddled up to Harry’s side who is scrolling through his phone with one hand, keeping the other one on your arm.

“Mornin’, sleepy head,” he chuckles softly when he sees you awake.

“Mmm, what time is it?” you ask letting your head rest on his chest a little longer.

“Quarter to nine. You can sleep a little more if you want, it’s not that late.”

“No, I promised mum I’d help her wrap gifts,” you sigh rolling over to your stomach as you push yourself up to your elbows to look at him. “Love the double chin you got going there,” you tease him sleepily and he just smirks.

“Yea? Quite cute, right? Worked a lot on it,” he jokes running his finger over it before letting out a chuckle. “Ready for our battle today?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. You are going down this year, Styles,” you tell him pushing yourself up into a sitting position. Harry only pushes himself further on the bed enough to rest his head against the headboard.

“Oh really? I wouldn’t be that sure about tha’,” he warns you, but you are feeling pretty confident about your performance this year. There’s no way he can top it.

“We’ll see. Alright, I need a coffee. Want something for breakfast?” you ask him crawling out of the bed.

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

Your mum is already in the kitchen, sipping on her morning coffee while reading the paper. She doesn’t find it even a bit weird that Harry spent the night at yours, it’s been quite the usual for you. Harry helps you make eggs and bacon and the three of you eat together, having a lovely time and you genuinely feel like it’s just like in the good old times when you were still living home and Harry wasn’t Harry Styles, but the boy from across the street.

He goes home after breakfast to help his own mum with the cooking for tonight’s dinner and you don’t do much for the rest of the day, just spend time with your mum, watch movies and relax. It’s nice to unwind after such a busy year behind you.

Not long before five you go to take a shower and get ready to head over to the Styles’ and you pack everything you’ll need for the evening: gifts, ugly sweater, accessories. Harry is going down this year for sure.

It’s a little past six when you and your mum walk across the street, Anne’s Christmas lights are putting the little town house into the spirit for sure. You don’t even ring the bell, just walk straight in, like you always do. The Christmas tree stands tall in their living room and the table is already nicely set. Gemma and Michal are snuggled up on the couch while Harry is helping Anne in the kitchen with the finishing touches.

“I’m rooting for you this year,” Gemma winks at you when you set down your bag in the corner that has everything you’ll need for your performance.

“He’s gonna lose this round,” you smirk proudly, very sure in yourself.

Harry greets you with a bright smile and a tight hug when he walks into the living room, as if you didn’t just see each other a few hours earlier.

When the food is ready you all sit down to eat, and though you’re trying your best to focus on the conversation, you’re getting excited about tonight’s karaoke battle.

“Anxious much?” Harry asks you quietly.

“Why are you asking?”

He doesn’t answer, just places a hand to your thigh stopping it from shaking, making you realize you’ve been probably bouncing it all along. He smirks at you as you just roll your eyes at him.

“’S okay, you can handle one more year of losing,” he teases you and you give him an arched eyebrow.

“Don’t be so full of yourself, Harry,” you warn him, but he just squeezes your thigh again before bringing his hands back up to the table, leaving you a little breathless with his touch.

You all help clean up the table after dinner and when it’s done, you gather in the living room to open gifts.

When Harry’s career launched, the first few years you felt anxious about gifting him, because you felt like you couldn’t give him enough. He had all the money and bought everything he needed for himself, there wasn’t much you could give him. But when one time, you admitted to him this struggle of yours he assured you that it doesn’t matter what you give him, it’ll always be precious to him.

“You thought about me, you took the time to buy something for me, and that’s more than enough, Y/N,” he told you and though it took you time, but you got used to it. Especially when you saw the same excitement in his eyes every time you gifted something to him, you slowly but surely realized he wasn’t expecting a Gucci suit, but a thoughtful gesture.

Gathering in the living room you open the presents one by one and just as always, everyone was quite creative with the gifts. You can’t help but still feel a little anxious when Harry grabs his gift from you. Giving you an excited look he unties the little bow on the top and tears the wrapping paper off.

“Y/N!” he breathes out, eyes softening as he pulls the knitted cardigan out of the box.

“I always saw you wearing all sorts of cardigans and so I finally had a reason to learn how to knit, so I thought I would make one for you,” you ramble as he holds up the baby blue cardigan that has little daisies all over the front. It took you an entire week to just make the daisies, you worked on the whole cardigan for more than two months, usually in the middle of the night, staying up until unholy hours to finish in time.

But Harry’s smile is worth it all, he is beaming, clearly so in love with what you made him, so you breathe out relieved. He then puts it aside and wraps his arms around you pulling you into the tightest hug.

“Thank you, I love it so much,” he mumbles and kisses your temple and you breathe in his sweet scent, burying yourself in his embrace, hugging his waist.

When you part, Harry reaches for a box from under the tree and hands it to you, a nervous smile tugging on his lips. You can tell he wrapped the gift himself, the silver wrapping paper is a little uneven, but the huge rainbow colored bow on the top is the perfect touch that makes it like a piece of him.

You carefully tear the paper off, peeking inside you just see a plain box that doesn’t give much away. Glancing up at Harry you see how he is anxiously biting his bottom lip, even though you’d be happy with a gift as small as a candle. It’s the thought that counts.

“I-I wasn’t sure if this was the one you mentioned to me, so I hope it’s gonna be alright,” he mumbles, eyes fixed on your hands as they open the box, while you try to think back what you have told him about that caught his attention, but you just can’t recall what you wanted to get so badly you told Harry about it.

As you open the box you don’t process what it is immediately, the plastic wrapper making it hard to figure it out, but when you carefully pull out the object, you gasp in surprise.

“Harry!” you breathe out as you pull off the plastic of the old, vintage polaroid camera. It’s not one of these new types you can buy in stores easily, this is a classic, must have quite a history behind it.

Now you vaguely remember talking about longing for an oldschool, vintage camera, but it was months ago and you’ve forgotten about the whole thing since these devices cost a fortune because there aren’t many left from them. But now there’s one in your hands, because Harry not only listened to you, but he remembered and went out of his way to find you one in amazing condition.

“This must have cost a fortune!” you huff, your heart pounding in your chest, though you already know it doesn’t matter to him.

“This face is worth every penny,” he smiles at you softly before you throw yourself at him for another round of hugging. This man surely knows how to have you wrapped around his fingers.

The two of you sit on the floor as you figure out how to make the camera work, Harry bought everything needed, so you have a few packs of films as well. When it’s all done you bring it up to your face and aim it at Harry. It takes him a moment to realize that you’re about to snap your first photo and he tries to snatch the camera away, but it’s too late, the flash goes off and the device pushes out the undeveloped picture.

“You wasted your first snap on me?” he protests rubbing his eyes after the flash blinded him for a little.

“It’s not a waste,” you tell him as you patiently wait for the picture to finally appear.

Slowly, the colors start to show and in a couple of minutes Harry’s face appears, his hand reaching in the direction of the camera, looking out of focus, only his face appearing clearly. He looks so delicate, his eyes dazzling as a soft smile plays on his lips. This moment now will live forever not just in your mind, but on this photo.

Harry goes out with his karaoke performance this year for sure and you’d be actually anxious about him winning if only you didn’t have the absolutely best performance right in your pocket.

His sweater this year features some really ugly looking penguins and a horroristic reindeer on the back, it’s really ugly and you can’t even imagine who thought it would be fine to make it and then sell it. His choice of music is also excellent, he has a great eye for songs you’d never imagine him perform and then shock everyone with it. This year, he chose Rude Boy by none other than Rihanna, and it’s fantastic, no one can make it through the song without crying. Harry makes sure to put on his best show, even dancing and twerking unapologetically, trying everything to win the battle and you are amazed by his effort. Above all the fun and jokes, he nails the song, that’s undeniable. It always baffles you how he can just slay any and all genres, even the ones that stand a million miles away from his style.

When the song is over, you all cheer for him, because he truly deserves it. He grins down at you in victory, but you just give him a challenging smirk.

“You can just give up now, if you want,” he teases you as you stand up from the couch and the two of you trade places.

“Oh, I think you should be the one to worry about losing,” you warn him grabbing your bag. Stepping to Gemma you whisper into her ear, instructing her to put on your song when you call out from the bathroom, since you are planning on do a grandiose entrance. When she hears what song you’ll be singing she gasps.

“Oh my fucking God, no way!” he looks at your with wide eyes.

“What? What is it?” Harry asks, dying to know what you just told his sister, but you shake your head at him.

“Patience,” you tell him before locking yourself up in the bathroom.

This year, you didn’t find the sweater, the sweater found you. On one of your thrift tours, you were digging up a huge pile of clothes when you came right across it and you knew what you needed to do.

Putting on the sweater you fix up your hair quickly before putting on your party glasses, the one that lights up if you switch it on. You take one last look at yourself in the mirror and smirk at your reflection knowing well you’ll have everyone dead when you walk out.

“Gemma! You can start it!” you call out with your hand on the doorknob, waiting to hear the music. Gemma quickly starts in and you haven’t even stepped out, you can hear a round of gasps.

Best Song Ever blasts through the speakers and you walk out trying your best to imitate a younger version of Harry, wearing the absolute ugliest Christmas sweater ever, that has the faces of One Direction all over it, filling up every inch of the fabric, and all of them have poorly photoshopped Santa hats on, it’s just literal trash and ridiculously perfect for the battle.

You grab the mic and start singing as everyone screams in the room. You jump, sing and even do the dance moves the boys do in the original music video, and when you look at Harry you see him staring at you in disbelief and total defeat. Everyone knows you won, nothing can top this performance ever and you could burst from the sweet feeling of victory.

By the end of the song everyone is up on their feet dancing and singing with you, a mini party forming in the middle of the living room and you all scream the last lines as the song comes to its end.

“I think we don’t even need to vote this time,” you say when the music stops, everyone screaming in agreement while Harry stares down at you, trying to hide his growing smirk.

“Where did you even find this?” he asks chuckling as he takes a better look at the sweater.

“At a thrift store, it called out my name, knew it’d be perfect.”

“It really is ugly, if I’m being honest,” he sighs, his eyes meeting yours again. “And the song… I accept defeat, you earned this victory, Y/N,” he tells you bowing and admitting your victory.

Later that night everyone is so keen on watching Holiday, you agree to stay even though you feel your eyelids heavily weighing down, threatening to close with each passing moment. You let your head rest on Harry’s shoulder and he presses his cheek against the crown of your head.

It’s not a surprise you fall asleep halfway into the movie, but what you weren’t expecting is to wake up and find yourself not on the couch anymore, but in Harry’s bed. It’s dark, only the moon is shining through his windows and as you turn to the right you see that he is sleeping peacefully next to you on his back, one arm spread next to him, hand hanging from the edge, the other one resting on his stomach, rising and falling in a slow rhythm.

Squinting your eyes you look at the digital clock on his dresser, it reads 3:23 am so you’ve been asleep for quite a few hours now. You don’t even remember him bringing you up here, but you’re definitely not mad that he didn’t bring you home, just up to his room.

Rolling to your side you give yourself a moment to adorn his beauty without fearing he would catch your wandering eyes. Everything seems so perfect about him, the line of his nose, his cupid’s bow that delicately rolls into her lips. The crease between his eyebrows, his soft skin on his cheeks, down his neck that runs into his broad shoulders and inked, strong arms. You truly think there’s no man that could compare to him and you are lucky enough to live your life so close to him, be able to touch him, hear his voice whenever you miss him, see his smile and share a connection with him.

It’s so silly, but you think of him as your personal ray of sunshine in your life. Just the smallest things about him can brighten your worst day, he’ll always have a special place in your heart, no matter where life takes the two of you.

Watching him sleeping you allow yourself to break free from your doubts and fears and scooting closer you shyly curl up to his side, your head resting on his shoulder, but you can’t even make yourself comfortable before you feel him moving under you.

Sucking on your breath you think he’ll push you away, not wanting you so close, but instead, he pulls his arm from under you, curling around your frame as he pulls you tight to him, almost making you lie on top of him. Your whole body is pressed against him and you mingle a leg between his long ones under the soft sheets. You let out a long huff at the warm touch of his body against your skin, completely lost in him.

“You alright?” he mumbles in his sleep laced voice, his eyes remain closed.

“Yeah. Is this okay?” you nervously ask as you lay your hand flat on his stomach. He brings his hand that was hanging from the bed on his other side and covers yours, as he squeezes you tight to his side.

“’M all yours,” he breathes out, his words sending a shiver down your spine. You’re sure he didn’t mean it like that, but it warmed your heart to hear it from him and you let your mind play with the thought that there was more behind his words than a friendly manner.

Nuzzling your head into his chest you close your eyes and listening to his steady heartbeat you let yourself fall back asleep.

Your morning is filled with coffee, pancakes, laughter and great company. Harry doesn’t let you leave without having breakfast with them, so you sit with the Styles family and laugh about the craziest stories from your teenage years.

“Remember when we tried to run away?” Harry grins at you, his red mug that had white polka dots all over it in his hands as he eyes you.

“Oh, how could I forget that?” you huff and Gemma turns to you with surprise in her eyes.

“Wait, I didn’t know about that!”

“Because we didn’t get too far,” Harry laughs. “We were, what, like fifteen?”

“Yeah, it was a few weeks after my fifteenth birthday,” you nod smiling.

“I had a fight with mum about God knows what, then stormed over to Y/N’s and talked her into running away. So we packed our backpacks and left.”

“Where did you go?” Michal asks with an amused grin as he listens to the story.

“We didn’t want to go into town, running into anyone we know, so we thought we would just go straight out to the meadow that’s there,” Harry says gesturing towards the window. The edge of the town is not so war, and a huge meadow lies there, a little stream running across it. “We walked for quite long, but then it started to get dark and we had nowhere to go, so we just ended up coming back home. No one even noticed we were gone, they thought we just went out to bike or something,” he finishes laughing.

“You knew about this?” Gemma asks Anne.

“Yeah, he came clear the next day, thinking he would piss me off with it, but I didn’t care, he came back for dinner, so it was alright,” Anne explains laughing.

It’s been so long since it happened, but I still remember it vividly, only that it was a more dramatic memory back then, now I can only laugh at it.

“We should go for a walk today,” Harry prompts to you.

“Wanna run away again?” you tease him.

“Always,” he chuckles.

You help cleaning up and agree with Harry to meet outside in an hour to take a walk to the meadow. Going home you take a shower and wash the dishes your mum left in the sink when she left for her morning shift. You put on a pair of boyfriend jeans, a warm sweater and your jacket with your trusty boots and you walk out the house right when Harry steps out as well. He grins in your way as the two of you meet in the middle of the street. He holds his arm out for you.

“M’ lady?” he smirks as you link your arm with his and the two of you head out for your little walk. It’s a gloomy day, might rain later as well, but it’s dry so far, so you’re just hoping to get home before it starts raining. Your runaway attempt wasn’t the only time the two of you came out here, it was kind of your place when you felt like having a break from everyone else. You biked out here, brought your favorite snacks and just ran around, enjoying the stillness.

However it also holds a bitter memory as well.

A little further down among the trees happened Harry’s first kiss and you witnessed it, feeling your heart break to a million pieces when you saw him lock lips with someone who wasn’t you.

Debby Hamilton was a friend of yours in sixth grade, you’d say, your only friend beside Harry and the three of you often hung out together around that time. Debby was a delight, you always desired to be more like her, boys liked her and she knew it damn well, but it didn’t make her cocky and egoistic. You always thought Harry had a crush on her, why would have he? They kind of looked cute together.

It was a Friday afternoon and Harry asked if you wanted to come out and listen to his new cassette he got for his old Walkman he refused to get rid of as technology was evolving. You figured he’d want Debby there as well so you invited her along, but didn’t tell Harry. He never made a move on Debby and you thought he was just looking for the right time.

That afternoon, you were supposed to meet them out there at five, but you didn’t leave until half past five and it takes about twenty minutes to get out there. Though you gave them the alone time technically, it still startled you when you found them under one of the oak trees, Debby leaning her back against the tree as Harry stood in front of her. She was smiling up at him sweetly, saying something to him and you were just about to call out for them and apologize for being late when Harry ducked his head and kissed Debby right in front of your eyes.

That was your first and probably worst heartbreak and you were only twelve. You felt betrayed, hopeless and naïve to think Harry would ever have a thing for you when there were girls like Debby. You left without letting them know you were there. When Harry asked you later why you didn’t come you told him you felt sick to your stomach, which wasn’t a total lie, you had quite the nausea after seeing Harry with Debby, but he didn’t have to know all the details.

He later told you about kissing Debby and you pretended like you didn’t know about it. However they never dated and not long after their kiss Debby drifted away from the two of you. Not that you minded, you had a bitter feeling every time you had to look at her after that, jealousy raging in your chest knowing that she got Harry’s first kiss.

He didn’t bring it up after and you weren’t keen on talking about it, but you still know which tree they were standing under and now as you near the area you see that it still stands tall near the tiny stream.

Peeking up at Harry you see that his eyes are focused on the same tree, but then he catches you looking.

“Memories?” you innocently ask, feeling your chest tightening. You don’t even know why you asked. It’s been over a decade since that kiss, you are both adults, but you still can’t help the sadness that washes over you at just the thought, why would you want to get him talk about it now?

“’S just… that’s the tree I kissed Debby when I was twelve,” he mumbles with a shrug. Biting into your bottom lip you look at the old oak tree nodding your head and before you could stop yourself, you speak up.

“I know.”

“What? How would you? I never told you,” Harry asks stopping, a puzzled look pulling on his face.

“Well I… It doesn’t matter,” you sigh, regretting ever opening your mouth.

“It does. Tell me!” he pleads standing in front of you.

“I know it, because… I was here.”

“You what?”

“I came, I was just very late. And when I arrived you two were standing there and I saw you kiss. I thought I shouldn’t interrupt whatever was happening so I went home and let you two be,” you explain, changing it up a little bit.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why is it important that I saw it? It doesn’t change anything, right?” you ask with a smile that you intended to look innocent, but deep down it’s filled with pain.

Harry opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but then remains silent and you are done talking about it, so you just quietly keep walking, Harry catching up with you a few moments later.

It’s awfully quiet after your revelation, it seems like Harry is deep in his thoughts and though you’re dying to know what’s occupying his bright thoughts, you’re kind of afraid you’d hear something you didn’t want to.

The two of you soon head back home and slowly, but you forget about the whole Debby thing. Harry starts talking again, but he looks a little keyed up still when you reach your street.

“Wanna come over later?” you ask standing on the pavement in front of your house, it’s just an innocent question. Harry nods his head.

“Sure. Is your mum working?” he asks glancing at the house, though he knows she is, the car is not on the driveway.

“Yeah. She’ll be home around six.”

He nods again and you want to ask if he is alright, but you decide not to. You share a quick hug before he heads over to his home and you do the same. The house waits for you in silence and when the door clicks behind you, it weighs down on you heavier than you were expecting. You hang your jacket, kick your boots off and throw yourself to the couch, covering your eyes with your arm as you huff out in frustration. You feel silly for getting upset about such a small thing even after so much time, but you just can’t help it.

You barely realize the sound of the front door opening, taking your arm off your eyes you see Harry walk in, eyebrows furrowed, a worried look on his handsome face.

“Harry—“ “I was waiting for you that day,” he simply says as you sit up with wide eyes, confused about what he is really talking about.

“What?”

“That day, we agreed to meet out there to listen to my new Stevie Wonder cassette, but you didn’t show up, Debby did even though I didn’t invite her out there.”

“Well, I did, thought you wanted her there too,” you explain, startled by the situation.

“I would have invited her if I wanted her to be there, but I wanted to be with you. Only you.”

“I-I’m sorry?” you breathe out, not seeing where he is going with it.

“Y/N, you don’t understand,” he huffs and he is right. You don’t. “I wanted to meet you, but you never came, or at least I thought. Then Debby showed up, I was frustrated that you weren’t there and she was being all nice, telling me how cute I looked when I was worried and it all just happened so fast and… I didn’t even want to kiss her.” He looks properly upset telling you the story and he takes a deep breath before his eyes meet yours with a hard stare. “I wanted to be with you,” he repeats.

“Harry, I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

He shakes his hair, not even letting you finish, because he knows what you wanted to say and that you still don’t understand the meaning behind his words.

“Y/N, I wanted to kiss you,” he then finally says and you suck on your breath as he continues. “Well, not right then and there, but I’ve been meaning to kiss you, I just didn’t know when. I thought that if we have a moment that afternoon I’d do it, but you never came and I was mad and disappointed. I hated myself for kissing Debby, because I didn’t really want to, it just… happened. I wanted to tell you, and I intended to do it when I told you we kissed, but you acted so happy, I figured you didn’t feel the same way about me as I did for you. So I didn’t tell you the rest, but…” He sighs in defeat, looking for words, but he ran out.

“Why are you telling this to me now?” you ask a little out of breath, your head feeling heavy at the new information you just heard.

“Why didn’t you tell me you saw us and why did you go home without a word?” he asks ignoring your question.

“I… don’t—“

“Don’t try to lie.”

Gulping hard you lick your dried lips as you stare back at him.

“Because I was… jealous.” Your voice comes out only as a whisper. Harry’s lips part as he takes two steps closer to you.

“You had feelings for me?” he asks and you just nod your head, not trusting yourself with your voice. “Do you still have feelings for me?”

“I do,” you whisper your answer and Harry lets out a sharp breath as he leaps across the room in your way. You jump to your feet, thinking that he’ll lash out on your for keeping it a secret and you open your mouth to explain yourself, but you never get to speak up because as Harry reaches you, one hand snaps to the back of your neck, the other one to your waist, yanking you against him as his lips crash to yours.

You gasp in surprise, but it doesn’t take long to kiss him back, your numb mind blindly reacting to his sudden action. Your hands snake up to the back of his neck as you pull him closer, returning his hungry kisses. His soft lips feel so smooth and warm against yours and when his tongue runs along your bottom lip you whimper letting your tongues meet in the middle.

He is intoxicating and it doesn’t help that your adrenaline level is up in the sky, you’ve fantasized about it way too many times, and now that it’s happening your body is burning in flames. He kisses you all over and over again, his body pressing against yours hard and when he even leans in making you lean back, you lose balance and the two of you fall to the couch, both of you gasping as you are forced to part your lips.

“Fuck,” you chuckle as Harry is basically lying on you, holding himself up on his arms, but you feel him everywhere.

“’M sorry, I got a little carried away, but I’ve been dying to do this since forever,” he admits chuckling as he lifts his head and looks down at you with those bright green eyes of his.

“Really?” you breathe out, only slowly processing what’s really just happened.

“Y/N, I’ve been in love with you since I first saw you hiding behind your mum.”

“Idiot, you were just a kid, you weren’t in love,” you chuckle, running up your hands to the back of his neck, your fingers playing with the soft curls. He smirks and nuzzles his nose against yours.

“Oh, I was, I just didn’t know it yet.” Leaning down he pecks your lips softly. “I’ve been meaning to tell you so many times, but I didn’t want it to ruin our friendship. Though I was growing impatient these last few years.”

“Yeah?” you chuckle.

“You can’t imagine,” he huffs shaking his head. I almost kissed you the other day in the kitchen, but Gemma completely ruined the moment.”

“I’m sorry I ran away, I was just—“ “No need to apologize. I guess it all played out well after all, right?” he smirks and you can’t help but chuckle.

“I guess,” you breathe out and the smile slowly fades from your lips. “And now what?” you ask quietly, staring up at him.

“Now… We’ll try to make things work. Test the waters. I’m very serious about this, Y/N,” he tells you. “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life so I’m not gonna let go of you now.”

“You have no idea how happy this is making me,” you choke out feeling the tears forming in your eyes.

“Oh Love, please don’t cry,” he begs and leaning down he kisses your tears away. “I’m right here, with you. Sorry it took me so long you get here, but I’m here now.”

“I know,” you huff blinking away the tears as you pull him down and press your lips to his. “I love you, Harry,” you whisper against his perfect lips. You feel him exhale sharply as he keeps kissing you before he lifts his head so your eyes meet again.

“I’ve always loved you.”

Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought about it!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles au #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles x reader #harry styles xyou #harry styles x y/n #harry styles imagine #fanficmas2020 #fanficmas 2020 #watchmegetobsessed fanficmas #watchmegetobsessed fanficmas 2020

2K notes · View notes

happyselves · 3 years

Text

Budapest { Lando Norris x reader one shot }

Breaking up sucks as it is, but to be dumped in an airport where you were going to a grand prix of formula 1 was worse … It was both of your dreams and he renounced it because of insecurities toward you. Admitting a “mistake” he had made with one of your commun friends, sleeping with her. You had to think fast in that airport, either you leave and go live one of your dreams or you step out of his place and go back home and cry for weeks. The answer was quickly found. You leave him and his baggage, not turning your back, deciding to not cry for the asshole you had spent so many time building a life he had destroyed in a snap of his fingers.

However the grand prix didn’t happen how you wanted it to. You had not really thought of him, too busy with the environment around you, sharing for your favorite drivers, freely wearing his merch that you had bought because you didn’t have any reason not to know that you didn’t have someone telling you off. Your now ex used to hate when you were showing your obsession and fascination toward the young driver that was Lando Norris. The dit driver had a great start but all his effort went in vain when the Mercedes driver hit the back of his car and ruined his race, forcing him to retire.

At first you didn’t know how to react, but when you saw him on the big screen in front of you, all the sadness and frustration and all the anger and hatred toward your ex boyfriend was transferred to this. You wanted to leave right away, but you stay, to support your team because Daniel Ricciardo was still in the race. You cheered as much as you could, exhausting yourself mentally and physically but it wasn’t enough and the number 3 car was too damaged to reach the point in the head. It was a shame, but that is the hard law of this sport. After this terrible race you had no heart in celebrating the win for Ocon even if you were extremely happy for him, so you went back to your hotel and went to bed.

The next day was quiet and you spent time in the city, you didn't feel great so you just walked through the city and visited stuff … alone. This time no crowd and loud car could distract you from your own thoughts. Your ex boyfriend was all you could think about now. The memories you had together, the dog, the apartment. By leaving and not facing it you were pushing the moment and you knew it will hurt even more next time you will have to face him.

It was the evening and it was getting cooler, you get your merch hoodie out of your bag and wear it. You find a nice spot on a bench in front of the river crossing the city and you put yourself in a cocoon, your legs closed to your chest and your head on your knees, hugging yourself for comfort as you watch the sunset. The tears came on their own, you were lost in your thoughts and you didn’t notice the man sitting next to you. You were so lost that you were now hearing Lando talking to you in your brain.

“You know it’s a pretty spot to watch the sunset, but not alone,” You puff a quick laugh, even your own mind was making stuff up and you didn’t know why, but you were ready to have a full conversation with yourself. At least your brain was nice enough to create someone that looked like your favorite driver. “ That’s funny, I’m that desperate that I’m talking to myself now, great, next stop the psy,” you weren’t waiting for any response, but you got one anyway. “ Well maybe your brain isn’t making this up ?” Another sound came out of you, were you ready to have a full argument with your own self. “ It wouldn’t be the first time I’m daydreaming about a handsome man talking to me out of nowhere, but I know my luck, why do you think I got dumped just before going on vacation ? I’m nothing … “ You were resigned, the tears kept falling and the pain kept coming. “ Well then he is an idiot, to let a beautiful woman, with great taste may I have, go. This man is obviously blind.” You had a great imagination to be able to hear Lando’s voice so clearly in your head that it felt like he was just next to you.

You turn your head toward what you thought the voice was coming from and there he was, sitting next to you, looking at you with fondness. Damn you really needed help if even your blurry eyes by the wet tears could recreate his whole body and face in front of you.

At any point you thought it might be true even if you were both in the same city, the odds were too big and he would probably be in his hotel room by now enjoying some games with his mates on his computer or watching netflix.

“ That’s not fair that you create this for me, I do not deserve to have such a beautiful daydream like this, seeing him this weekend from afar was one thing but to now trick me and build this masquerade in my mind to ease my pain, that’s really new brain.” You were feeling crazy and you were trying not to sound like one, you were talking to yourself and you were scared that others will think of you as someone with less sanitary than an average human being.

Yet, your fake Lando get closer to you and start touching your arm, you didn’t even flinch when you sense his touch, you know you wouldn’t be able to feel anything because if one thing you learn is that touching isn’t a sense the brain is capable of reproduction to the perfection in your brain when you are dreaming. Then why were you feeling it, why suddenly his touch felt so reassuring and real. You blind repeatedly trying to wake yourself from this sweet dream you were living because this couldn’t be real and it was starting to feel scary.

Lando didn’t move his arm from you even if you tried to gently push him away and put some distance back between you. You weren’t certain this wasn’t reality anymore because as you took his arm, you felt him, your grip on him was real. You lock your eyes on him, focusing on every detail of this creation in your own mind. You knew the shirt he was wearing and the shorts as well, you knew how he looks after running as well so that was a normal thing, but every little detail of him only a person being super close to him could imagine, that you had never experienced and yet here everything was here in front of you. He never felt so him and so real in the flesh. Your fingers found the scruff on his chin and felt the small hair tickling your palm.

That’s where you realise … Lando Norris was in front of you, in the flesh as real as you wear. You come back right back to your senses when you see the sunset and keep drawing beautiful colors in the sky. Lando was amused by the situation, you weren’t.

“ Oh sleeping beauty is coming back from the daydream ?” Somehow he arranges a lock of hair missing on your face, putting it behind your ear. You jerk at the touch now knowing that you were imagining things. You stand up quickly and try to avoid him, walking like a lunatic in front of the bench right to left. “ You know, you are the first fan I've met that acts like this, quite refreshing. “ You stop and track and look at him, really look at him.

“ How do you know I am a fan of yours ?” If this wasn’t the dumbest question you had ever asked, you didn’t know how to be more embarassing of yourself.

“ Well at first I wasn’t really sure, then I saw you on that bench, curl up in a small little ball wearing my hoodie merch, then you basically confirm it when you thought I was a pure product of your imagination,” You were hiding your face now, you bet your cheeks were red. You were mortified to ever have thought you were this desperate that your brain could be creating him, but even more when you knew he had to witness that.

“ I’m sincerely sorry, I ruined your evening run, “ You were apologizing to him, ready to take your bag and run away from this situation, to forget everything that happened. It wasn’t the best timing for you to meet one of your idols, that’s not how you had imagined things to go if one day you would have the courage to try and meet him.

As you tried to take your bag, he stopped you and took your arm. It was like the first, but this time all you could think about was the butterflies appearing in your stomach. Lando was the only person you could dump your boyfriend for … your ex-boyfriend. Before you had time to dive in your thoughts once more he spoke to you.

“ Please don’t go, I should be the one apologizing, I let you think you were insane because I was amused and you’ve made my day to be honest. I felt less alone. “ He was brutally honest suddenly and your heart shattered even more, making your recent break up put on the second plan, focusing on the man in front of you only.

It’s true that you didn’t notice at first, but he was looking tired, not only physically but mentaly. He brings you closer to him, silently asking you to sit where you were in the beginning.

You were both smiling to each other and without any of you being able to control it you end up talking a long time on that bench, not realising it was now dark. Only when Lando’s phone buzzed did you both realise that you had been exchanging your deepest secrets to each other, telling each other's life like you were best friends finding their way back to each other. You even forgot he was a famous racing driver at some point, not caring much because you were now truly seeing the man behind the helmet and you like him even more.

You sense a sort of sadness when he picks up his phone to respond to his manager. Of course they were worrying, he told them he was gone for half an hour, not three hours. You thought he would lie about where he was, being cheeky and keeping his privacy and you were ready to take that small hit behind your head that you bring you both back into your respective life, otherwise he surprised you once more by being honest and telling his manager the truth. He was smiling at you and his eyes were glued on your face with that same fondness you thought your brain had made up earlier. He hanged up and his body turn toward you.

“ So as you can guess I have to go, but I have the feeling that if I don’t ask to come with me, it would be one of the biggest mistakes of my life, so … “ He was scared to continue, evaluating the reaction on your face, but he must have seen something in you that confirmed something in him and made him continue, “ I’m not applying anything, it’s to talk obviously, but would you like to accompany me to my hotel and maybe see each other again ? I’m leaving wednesday night, of course you can refuse I wouldn’t take it bad”

Two choices were now in front of you and you could only choose one. The first one was obviously saying no and going back to England where you are from and facing the hard reality of your ex and the second one was to push your plane ticket to next wednesday and spend time with him. There was actually nothing to think about as you simply said yes to him and followed him to his hotel that night. You didn’t do anything, only talking and even meeting the whole team. You tried your best not to fangirl like a teenager but you couldn’t help yourself showing the admiration you had for everyone of them and they already knew with the hoodie you were wearing anyway. That night was one of the best in your life, you talk all night in his room and end up falling asleep on his chest. It is the first time since you’ve been alone that you finally find peace in your sleep and truly rest and somehow you felt it was the same for him. This is why he asks you to stick around with him, even for the Pirelli test. You were not only living your dream now, but you were living it with him and it was even better. You felt lucky and you were now wondering what would have happened if you had not gone to that place and kept those grand prix tickets. You could care less, Lando made you forget all the pain this ex of yours had afflicted you for the past week. You had fun and everyone was so welcoming and nice to you, explaining everything around the paddock, you even found yourself laughing with Daniel Ricciardo at some point during the day.

The looks you send to each other on the other hand were far from being only friendly, there were something more. Your body was acting on its own and he was so receptive to it. Everyone in the garage could sense something that both of you were ignoring, but they were polite enough not to make a word of it or tease the young driver for it. You were secretly thanking them to not make this moment awkward, you were already still thinking you were in a deep dream or coma, not wanting to wake up just yet.

The day went fast and ended up in a nice dinner in his room, still talking and joking. At some point it was the second night in a row you fell asleep on him, while watching something on tv. It really wasn’t your type to trust a stranger even if this one was famous and you “ knew him “. You didn’t want to live dangerously,but for sure that difficult time ahead of you was making you enjoy the best of life without thinking about the next day.

Lando was stroking you slowly as he was finishing the movie you were watching before you found Morphee, kissing your head before turning everything off and joining you in dreamland as well.

You were sure the people at your own hotel were wondering where you were,and when the next day you finally came back to it, Lando quickly behind you, you could swear you had seen a smirk flashing on the front desk woman’s face. You hadn’t expected the man next to you to find a way and arrange the plane ticket you had to take for going home, to be weirdly the same plane as him and the seat next to him. You both didn’t really want to come back to reality and go to your respecting mundane life just yet.

The last day was as good as the day before other than that bittersweet feeling you had depe down, not wanting to let this go just yet. You didn’t know how you could enjoy this little bit of life he had show you, you were already addicted to this lifestyle, to that travel, hotel and paddock life, this crazy life of him and most important you knew how fucked you were because you realise soon enough that you were already addicted to him quite simply.

Both of you were staying quiet about your soon departure from each other and until the last moment you didn’t aboard the subject, but every good dream had a end and it’s on that parking lot when you saw the whole team leaving one by one to find their car that you realise it was the end of his fairy tale. Lando had held your hand tight the whole time, you were ready to let it go and leave this mind forever when he decided otherwise and asked you where you were going tonight now that you weren’t with your boyfriend. You hadn’t thought of that of course you hadn’t, how can you think about this when this beautiful and genuine nice man in front of you had replaced as quickly as he came in your life all your thoughts. It’s like he knew right away and didn’t let you answer, your luggage was already in the lack of his car with him and you were both driving to his place. Every woman would be afraid, why weren’t you that was the question.

“ I’m not ready to let you go, I don’t want to, “ That what he said to you as he pull his car in front of his house before adding up, “ I don’t even think I will be able to let you go ever in the rest of my life, “ You didn’t know what to say to that, you were only focusing on him, only him and the only thing you could think about right now was the close that damn gap between you two and kiss him. So you did and it was even more beautiful that the fireworks on national day, the butterflies in your stomach were moving so much that you could feel yourself flying except you were still in this car with him, his hands in your hair, messing the already messy bun you had for travelling, savoring every bit of your lips for the first time, like it was the last. When you finally pull away from each other to catch your breath, your forehead finds him.

“ I’m not going anywhere. “

MASTERLIST

268 notes · View notes