#youre welcome little gay people in my phone

[ofthecaravel]

Baby, show off all them tricks and bang dem sticks 🖤🥁💜

Aka What If Greta Van Fleet Was Composed Of Beautiful Women?

pspspsps @streamsofstardust @the-starcatcher @s0livagant @holdingup-fallingsky @t00turnttrauma

[donotfollowabandonedblog]

My hands absolutely popped off thank your art gods for blessing me on this fiNE day I used your gift wisely and drew lesbian puppets- as you would want me to.

[steddieas-shegoes]

When Eddie comes out to him, Steve makes a big mistake. His first reaction was to thank him for trusting him, which is what Robin told him to do in this situation.

But his second reaction was to say “I also like guys.”

Eddie blinked at him, clearly confused and defensive, like maybe Steve was making fun or not taking him seriously.

“Uh. You do?”

“Yeah man! I mean, no one else knows, but yeah.”

Eddie smiled and thanked him for trusting him with it, said they should hang out more, and recommended a queer bar in Indy if he needed a safe place to explore.

And Steve smiled and nodded like he couldn’t agree more.

As soon as Eddie was gone, he rushed to the phone in his kitchen and called Robin.

She called him an idiot, a dingus, a bisexual disaster —whatever that was—, and told him he absolutely wasn’t allowed to go to a queer bar without her.

She did at least agree to keep up the lie until he could find a way out of it without Eddie thinking he lied to hurt him or something.

But he started hanging out a lot more with Eddie and finding that they had more in common than he originally thought.

Eddie took Robin and Steve to the queer club and Steve…felt at home, felt welcomed, felt like he belonged. Robin kept giving him these looks all night, and Eddie kept dragging him to meet people who he cared about, and one of the guys on the dance floor kept pulling him out there to dance with him.

He felt free and alive and-

Queer.

It hit him as the guy, Paul maybe, was pulling him closer by his waist as his hips rocked to the beat of a song he didn’t recognize but felt like something he wanted on a mixtape. It hit him that he liked this because he liked dancing with Paul like this. He liked this because he saw himself visiting more, even without Eddie and Robin. He liked this because he could picture making out with Eddie in the bathroom.

He froze.

“You okay, sweet thing?” Paul asked him.

“I think I’m in love with my friend.”

Paul’s eyes widened momentarily before patting Steve’s hip. “Is he gay, honey?”

“Huh?” Steve was already trying to find Eddie in the crowd. “Oh, yeah. He’s here tonight.”

“Shouldn’t you be dancin’ with him then?”

Steve finally looked back at Paul, who had his hands on his own hips now, teasing smile on his face.

“Yeah. I should,” Steve thanked him, apologized for any misleading, which was immediately brushed off. Paul was here to dance, he didn’t much care for who he was dancing with.

“Send that beauty over here. She looks like she needs some lessons,” Paul pointed to Robin, who was still looking a little nervous despite the friendly bartender handing her sodas every time he passed by her.

“She’s gay, man.”

“So am I! Doesn’t mean we can’t dance!”

Steve laughed. “You’re right.”

He walked over to Robin quickly, avoided getting pulled back into the crowd.

“I’m in love with Eddie.”

Robin rolled her eyes. “I know, dingus. You literally risked your entire reputation to come to a queer bar to try to impress him.”

Steve balked. “That’s not what this was!”

“Uh huh. Well he’s sulking in the bathroom if you wanna go tell him.”

“Sulking? Why?”

“He saw you dancing with that guy. Think he assumed you were interested in him.”

“Not a chance. I prefer long hair and ripped jeans,” Steve winked. He turned to walk towards the hall with the bathrooms when Robin stopped him.

“Don’t do this if you’re not 100% sure,” she said seriously. “Eddie really likes you and it would destroy him if you were lying to make him feel better.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Steve started, but stopped when Robin gave him a look.

“You’ve literally been pretending to be queer for the last two months because he came out to you and you accidentally came out to him. You’re lucky it wasn’t a complete lie.”

“Yeah but I wouldn’t fuck with his feelings like that.” Steve knew what it was like to be led on. He wouldn’t do that to Eddie. “I’ll be careful with him.”

“And be careful with you.”

He saluted her as he walked away.

When he found Eddie sitting on the counter at the sink in the bathroom, he was swinging his legs back and forth and humming something distinctly less pop than what was playing on the dance floor. No one else was in here, but that didn’t mean no one would walk in.

He walked over to Eddie and placed a hand on his knee.

Eddie immediately stopped kicking his feet and looked up.

“What’s with the face?” Steve asked, reaching up to touch the line between his brows that always appeared when he was pouting.

Eddie shrugged. “Just not feeling it tonight I guess.”

“The music isn’t really your thing. Kinda surprised you like this place,” Steve said as his hand drifted down to his wrist. “Seems closer to a small club than a bar.”

“You seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

Eddie’s tone was sharp, laced with jealousy. Even if Steve hadn’t had his realization five minutes earlier, he would’ve seen what that was from a mile away.

“I was until I realized I’d rather be out there with you.”

Eddie snorted. “I don’t really dance.”

“But you’d dance with me if I asked, right?” Steve’s fingers circled his wrist and he tugged Eddie off the counter. “Even if I asked you to do it right here with no music?”

“Steve, what are you doing?”

“Dancing. Or trying to.” Steve rested his hands on Eddie’s hips and started swaying them in sync with his. “It is hard without music.”

“Why don’t you go back out there?” Eddie’s hands went around Steve’s neck.

“Because you’re not out there. I don’t wanna be where you aren’t.”

“Steve-“

“You know I didn’t actually know I liked guys until tonight?” Steve huffed out a laugh. “Well, I really like this one guy. Not sure about others yet.”

Eddie was silent, but didn’t push Steve away.

“He was hiding in this bathroom though. I didn’t really think he’d join me out there, so I brought the dancing to him,” Steve winked.

“You like me? You? Like me?”

Steve nodded.

“And you just realized this?”

“Kinda.”

“In a queer bar?”

“Mhm.”

“That’s pretty gay, dude.”

Steve snorted and smacked Eddie’s chest. “That’s the point.”

Eddie moved in impossibly closer, no room for Jesus between their chests anymore. “So you lied when you came out to me?”

“I panicked! But it doesn’t actually count as a lie if I’ve seen the light.”

“Was it a rainbow light? Or the reflection of the disco ball in the glitter shorts Perry was wearing?” Eddie joked.

“Perry!” Steve smacked his own forehead. “He’s nice. Made me come tell you how I feel.”

“Oh. He did?” Eddie seemed shy for maybe the first time ever.

“Yeah. Said I should come dance with you if I’m in love with you.”

Steve hadn’t felt like this in a while, and hadn’t left his heart on his sleeve like this in even longer. As Eddie’s face went from shy to shocked to flustered, Steve thought about how long he’d been dancing around these feelings.

But no more dancing around them. Now it was time to dance with them.

“Can’t believe you just said you’re in love with me in the bathroom of a queer bar. Don’t even think they clean this place,” Eddie laughed, letting his forehead fall against Steve’s.

“I’ll tell you again outside.” Steve kissed his cheek. “And in the van.” His nose. “Your house, my house.” The corner of his mouth. “Everywhere.”

Eddie licked his lip, skipping over a soft kiss for a hungry one. It was hot, desperate, impatient. Everything Steve hadn’t known he needed.

Then again, he hadn’t even actually known he liked guys until tonight. Maybe he was just late to learn things about himself.

[empresskylo]

ೃ⁀➷ call of duty incorrect quotes

⋆｡°✩ all featuring gn!reader insert ⋆｡°✩ AUTHOR'S NOTE | hopefully these aren't cringey lol, i pulled most of them from pinterest. i just thought they'd be fun. let me know if you'd want to see more.

cod masterlist | main masterlist

soap: *bursts into the room, starts panicking* ghost: you: ghost: what happened? soap: no one died you: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER–

gaz: have you heard the joke about the gaslighter? soap: no... gaz: no, you definitely have. soap: no I haven't. gaz: you've literally heard it before. soap: no i haVEN'T gaz: yes you have soap: I DON'T KNOW IT?!? gaz: you're crazy, man. ghost: *hiding his smirk* you: *giggling beside ghost*

soap: I just fell– you: from heaven? soap: no, like I literally just fell– you: in love with me? soap: my fucKING ARM IS BROKEN you: okay, but do you think i'm pretty? be honest.

you: i sleep with a dagger under my pillow. gaz: weak. I sleep with a gun. ghost: you're both pathetic. you: oh?? and what do you sleep with? ghost: soap. you: *spits out drink*

you: what are you, 5? konig [snorts]: yeah, 5 heads taller than you. you: konig: konig: I'm sorry, please don't kill me.

you [on the phone]: uh... price? price [tired]: is the base on fire? you: well...no? price: then it's not an emergency price: *hangs up* gaz: WHAT DID HE SAY? you: he said it's not an emergency. soap [pinned under a cabinet that ghost and alejandro are trying to get off him]: HOW IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY

ghost: i invited you into the woods because I crave the most dangerous game. you and soap [both nodding]: knife monopoly. ghost: i was actually going to hunt you for sport but now i'm interested in whatever the fuck knife monopoly is.

ghost: *is carrying all the groceries* you: *holds out a hand to help* ghost: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold your hand*

you: can you keep a secret? ghost: do you know anything about my life? you: no, i do not. good point.

[you and ghost texting] you: where are you? ghost: turn around ghost: no the other way ghost: wrong way again you: ghost, where exactly are you?? ghost: at base, but the thought of you turning aimlessly in circles amuses me.

soap: go big or go home! you [tears in your eyes]: i am begging you, soap. for once in your life, go home. please. just this once. go home. ghost: *nods in agreement* soap: i'm going big!

soap: hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? you: peonies, why? soap: you: were you going to get me flowers? soap: you: soap: it's a possibility...

you: why are you smiling? price: what? can't I just be happy? soap: gaz tripped and fell in the parking lot.

ghost: i wish i could block people in real life. you: restraining order. soap: murder. gaz: jesus fucking chr–

you: so you don't have a thing for anyone at the moment? soap: well... i didn't say that. you: oh. what's she like then? soap: you're just gonna assume they're a 'she'? you: are they– you: are they not a girl? soap: *gay panic*

ghost: i made tea. you: i don't want tea. ghost: i didn't make tea for you. this is my tea. you: then why are you telling me? ghost: it's a conversation starter. soap [looking between you two, confused] you: that's not really a conversation starter. ghost: oh, it isn't? we're conversing, aren't we? checkmate. you [scoffing]: well it's a lousy one then. ghost: never said it wasn't. you: *looking at soap* soap: *looking at you*

price: what does 'take out' mean? alejandro: food. gaz: dating. soap: murder. you: it can mean all three if you're not a coward. ghost: soap: gaz: price: you: what?

ghost: look, i know you think my judgment is clouded because i like soap a little bit. you [holding ghost's notepad]: you doodled your wedding invitations. ghost: no, that's our joint tombstone. you: oh, right, my mistake.

konig: hello, welcome to our first debrief. konig: today we're talking about... you [whispering]: building loyalty. konig: killing royalty. you [under your breath]: oh my god.

ghost: i am a very bad person. very very bad person. i am a horrible person. soap: you: gaz: ghost: "no you're not, ghost! we still love you, ghost!"

[peppermintquartz]

Josh sees Buck and Maddie in the break room and decides, heck it, he can inject himself into their sibling bonding time.

"Hello Buck, it's good to see you," Josh says, grabbing a chair and planting himself down before either of them can say anything. He opens his bento box - he's trying this whole thing, it's going okay so far but he's running out of ideas for foods - and says, "How is life treating you?"

"Pretty well, actually," Buck says with a coy smile.

Maddie snorts. She focuses on her sandwich and dino nuggets. "That's not what he was saying just now," she tells Josh, her pretty eyes twinkling.

Josh gasps theatrically. "Evan Buckley, am I not your friend? Am I unworthy of the truth?"

"Maddie!" Buck nudges his sister's hand with his own, a cute pout on his lips. Finally, he rolls his eyes and says, "Alright, fine. It's... kinda, uh, not great."

He looks a little dejected, even, but Maddie doesn't seem too concerned, so Josh aims for the middle with his response. "What's the matter?"

"I kinda wanna...sndsmnstotommy." The last words are so mumbled that the only thing Josh makes out is "Tommy".

Josh is a great listener. He is literally a professional at listening to people. "What was that?"

Buck rolls his eyes and plops his chin on his hands on the table. "I wanna send some pictures to my boyfriend."

"Hot pilot boyfriend," Maddie says, fanning herself.

"I'll take your word for it," Josh says, having only seen photos of him in dirty turnouts and mussed hair.

Buck frowns at them. "He is hot. Look." Unlocking his phone, he swipes through some pictures. "See?"

"Oh, he is very hot." Josh is happy to be proven wrong by a picture of a buff older man in a tight navy blue tank top and jeans, with smears of engine grease on his very muscular arms and a smudge over his cheek. That profile alone... There has to be some sort of deity smiling down on the Buckleys, giving them incredibly handsome partners after their shitty childhoods.

Buck sighs dreamily as he gazes at the picture. "Yeah. I haven't seen him for more than twenty minutes at a stretch for nearly three weeks." His pout returns at full force. "Dumb wildfires. I am declaring them homophobic and biphobic."

Josh pets Buck on the head in sympathy. "So you wanna send him pictures? I bet you have lots of nice ones with Maddie and Jee and your friends."

"Not that sort," Buck says, his cheeks flushing.

Then Josh gets it. "Ah, nudes. Good and reliable communication methods for long distance relationships."

Buck buries his face in his hands, but the tips of his ears are still bright red.

Laughing now, Maddie ruffles the curls on top of his head. "I can't give you much advice since I don't get sent nudes," she says, giggling, "and I wouldn't know what a gay man would like to see, so why don't you pick Josh's brains here?"

Josh beams at Maddie. "I like this assignment."

"He's taken, remember that," Maddie warns, wagging a finger at her friend as she heads to the sink to wash her hands.

Josh puts on a wounded air. "I don't poach. And I give great advice." He returns his attention to Buck and says gleefully, "Alright, first things first: is your Tommy a legs guy, an ass guy or a chest guy?"

Buck lifts his head enough to glare at him. "I'm not gonna gossip about him with you."

"Fine. Spoilsport. Anyway, post workout selfies sans shirt, always a winner. Low angle shots up your torso, especially since you are built like a fridge, that should work too. Oh, post-shower photos when your skin is all scrubbed and pink? Highly recommend." Josh lowers his voice and says, "Dick pics are really good if you don't show all of it, keep him wanting more, but make sure to encrypt them if you can, and warn him to go somewhere private so he doesn't open them in company."

Buck hides his face again, but then he takes a deep breath and sits straight up once more. He seems determined not to look directly at Josh, however. "Thank you."

Grinning, Josh digs into his bento. "You're welcome. Now, tell me what you're willing to share about your boyfriend. Oh, and welcome to this side of the rainbow by the way. I'm very proud of you."

Buck does look at him now and ducks his head shyly. "Thanks." He licks his lips (Josh doesn't think too much about those lips) and starts saying, "Well, Tommy's a pilot at the 217..."

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

03/29/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast & Crew Sightings; David Jenkins; Rhys Darby; Taika/Rachel; Con O'neill; Will Arnett; Trans Day of Visibility; Cool Pirates; Fan Spotlight; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika;

Hey lovelies, I'm late again, but I got some good sleep. I'm finding it's much easier to write love notes after I wake up so I'm debating how I wanna go about moving forward :) I'll keep you posted. Hope you have a good day <3

= David Jenkins =

Chaos Dad just poking his head out to weigh in on the milk debate. Src: @Soupbeech on twitter

= Rhys Darby =

Just a little sing along with our favorite captain.

The Edge Podcast: Apple / Spotify Source: EdgeAfternoons Instagram

= Taika Waititi =

Taika is spreading the word on Rachel House's new movie The Mountain! Src: Taika's IG

= Con O'Neill =

Con O'Neill just out in Dublin feeling cute. Src: Con's IG

= Will Arnet =

Will Arnett is just hanging with a few... Former Presidents of the United States?! SRC: Will Arnett's IG

= Samba Schutte =

== Trans Day of Visibility: Cool Pirates ==

#CoolPirates from the crew side: Jes Tom! @jesthekid 💛🤍💜🖤 🏳️‍⚧️ Instagram / Tumblr

== Fan Spotlight ==

Yes! And how could we forget, CHICKEN HAT MAN, Ted Barton! Thank you @melvisik!!

= Big Gay Energy Podcast =

Another reaction episode of Big Gay Energy Podcast is out!

== Love Notes ==

Can I just take a moment to tell you all how much you mean to me? I have been on the internet for a long time, since the olden days of AOL, Dial Up Internet, yelling at your family to get off the phone so you can log on, and when google image search had only like 3 pictures when you did a search on it (my first image search was Harrison Ford by the way).

And never in my many years of fandoms, and being online have I ever met such a wonderfully welcoming group of people. I spent a lot of years being anxious, and even now, when my confidence has grown, it was hard at first to want to just jump into the fandom. But you know what? I took a leap, and all you wonderful people just welcomed me, and every other person with open arms. You were kind, and supportive, and continue to be every single day.

I see so many folks mention that they were afraid to use tumblr or to engage and then some kind person in the fandom made them feel safe and welcome, and now we have another lovely, talented, kind, beautiful member of our crew.

This fandom really is second to none, and I want you to know just how much a positive impact on the world you have, because it's huge. And sure, we do some other cool stuff like raise money and things but like, on a day to day scale, you make people feel safe. Our crew gets to go throughout there day with a positive experience they didnt have prior... they can take that positivity and spread it to others because they might have one more spoon today because of all of you.

I just want you to know you make such a wonderful impact on this world, so if you're ever struggling and wondering where to go from here, poke your head back into this fandom and see all the love we have for you.

Hope you have a lovely day/night m'dears, get some rest this weekend <3

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Today's theme is Silly!

Darby gif courtesy of @thunderwingdoomslayer

Taika gift courtesy of @mxmollusca

[zahraaziza]

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄: 𝐆𝐀𝐘 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒

alright, you lovely little gay people on my phone. we all know we're fruity and whatnot, but who was the woman/ female identifying person, that made you realize you indeed got some fruit in your cup? i'll go first <3

my awakening was lauren cohan aka maggie greene rhee from the walking dead!! JUST LOOK AT HER UGH I LOVE HER SO FREAKING MUCH LITERAL HEART EYES

—୨♡୧ 𝐧𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 @scarstarlet @millersaurora @ellabsprincess @cowgirlcherrie @m-3-ijiworld @destielcore @elliessknife @cherriesxinthespring @kissesskittens @elliesbelle @dreamworldbarbie @machetegirl109 @abbys-wife @hazywazysmind @spaceshipellie

and anybody else who'd like to join, you're very welcome to do so <3

[violetspots1]

Part 2 to that Welcome Home Incorrect Quotes post I made, like, a year ago. Wow how productive of me.

.

Poppy: Good morning.

Julie: Good morning.

Eddie: Good morning.

Barnaby: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Sally: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

.

Barnaby, holding in their laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?

Frank: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language.

Barnaby:

Barnaby: Water you doing?

.

Julie, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.

Frank: Do you think other people can’t hear you?

.

Wally: Good. Thanks, dad.

Poppy: You just called Eddie “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Wally: What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Eddie: Do you see me as a father figure, Wally?

Wally: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Howdy: Hey! Show your father some respect!

.

Howdy: *on the phone* Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference.

Howdy: Anyways, you said Wally is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

.

Eddie: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby.

Wally: What baby?

Eddie, crying a bit: Me.

.

Wally: The shadow realm? No, I’m sending you to Ohio!

.

Howdy: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

.

Frank, looking at a selfie of Wally's: I hate this photo.

Wally: I’m cute as fuck in that photo! I’m smiling kindly.

Frank: You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something.

Wally: Up to kindness.

.

*at a zoo*

Julie: What are they in for?

Frank: Julie, this isn't prison.

Julie: So they can leave?

Frank: No, but-

Julie, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

.

Poppy: Fine! Judge all you want but...

Poppy, points at Sally: Married a lesbian.

Poppy, points at Julie: Left a man at the altar.

Poppy, points at Wally: Fell in love with a gay ice dancer.

Poppy, points at Barnaby: Threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire.

Poppy, points at Howdy: Lives in a box!

.

Julie: Frank and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.

Frank: We what?

.

Wally: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

Barnaby:

Barnaby: I like you.

.

Eddie: I think I'm falling for you.

Frank: Then get up.

.

Julie: Why do you act like we’re three year olds?

Frank, exasperated: WHY?!?

Frank points at Barnaby: YOU TRIED TO HYJACK A CAR!

Frank points at Wally: YOU NEARLY JUMPED 20 FEET OFF A CARPARK!

Frank points at Julie: AND YOU ATE MULTIPLE DRIED LEAVES AND ROCKS OFF THE GROUND!

Frank: AND YOU ASK ME WHY????

.

Howdy: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.

Frank: Oh. We're going out?

Howdy: Wh…

.

Wally: *gets set on fire and screams in agony*

Wally: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

.

Sally: I need 28 lightbulbs for 28 ducks.

Howdy: Ducks can’t eat lightbulbs?

Barnaby: I think that’s the point.

Sally: Exactly. I want my ducks to glow so I can find them.

.

Julie: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo?

Frank: ICARUS?

.

*at an awards show*

Poppy: Can I carry you on my back like Eddie did?

Wally: I don't think Barnaby would like that.

Poppy: *pouts*

*Later*

Poppy: *carrying Wally on their back*

Barnaby: What the hell??

Wally: What was I supposed to do? Say no?

.

Frank: I have very high standards, you know.

Eddie: I can make spaghetti...

Frank: Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!

.

Wally: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind.

Wally: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months.

Wally: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year?

Barnaby: This is Monopoly.

.

Wally: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

Barnaby: *crouches down*

Frank: *kneels down*

Poppy: *sits on the floor*

Wally:

Wally: I hate all of you.

.

*Sally is crying after a breakup*

Eddie: There there, Sally.

Sally, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my room?

Eddie: Great question—

.

Barnaby, knocking on the door: Howdy, open up!

Howdy: It all started when I was a kid.

Barnaby: That’s not what I-

Sally: Let them finish!

.

Julie, on a random band name generator: Oooo! They Might Be Depressed Horses! That about sums up my friend group.

.

Julie: War is heck!

.

Sally: What’s it like being tall?

Sally: Is it nice?

Sally: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Poppy: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Wally: It was one time!

.

Howdy: Last night I found out Barnaby is a sleep talker.

Poppy: Oh, really?

Howdy: "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

.

Wally: Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey!

Poppy: But I'm a vegan.

Wally: Wakey Wakey Vegetables and Sadness.

.

Howdy: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.

Sally: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...

Julie: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.

Eddie: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.

Barnaby: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Wally: Mental stability, my old friend!

Howdy: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

.

Frank, looking over Wally’s shoulder: You can draw?

Wally, stopping what they were doing: You can speak?

.

Wally, near tears: Please, Neighbor, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

.

Julie: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they’re loved. Frank has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them.

Eddie: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don’t want to be at?

Julie: I knew you’d understand.

.

Wally: Julie noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago.

Sally: This reminds me of the Julie who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi.

Wally: I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Julie.

.

Julie: What do I get?

Sally: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.

Julie: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.

Sally: It won't be you.

Julie: I'll get my coat.

.

Wally: My crush isn’t picking up on my hints.

Barnaby: What hints have you given them?

Wally: Well, I think about them a lot.

Wally: And sometimes I even think about talking to them.

.

Poppy: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Julie: How can you still say that?

Poppy: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

.

Julie: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons.

Barnaby, deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.

.

Wally: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

.

Julie, holding a scooter: Poppy! Can I go outside and play with this?

Poppy: Sure, whatever. I'm not your parent, okay?

Julie, running outside: Thanks Poppy!

Poppy, running out after them and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

.

Sally: ....Thou shalt not marry each other, for thy art both sinful...

Frank: I just wanna fucking marry Eddie!!

.

Eddie: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Julie: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

Wally: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

Sally: My life is a little too much imagination and not nearly enough dragons.

.

Frank: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Frank, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

.

I did it :D

[askchilchuck]

Hey, how can I help you?

(Please read below before interacting)

Hi! My name is Sophie! This blog has gotten enough traction that I feel the need to lay some ground rules for it.

1) This blog is intended to be PG13 so I don’t have to exclude younger fans from participating. I will not be answering anything that wouldn’t fly in canon, or is adjacent to it. Anything explicitly sexual, or can be construed that way will not be answered.

2) Nothing related to suicide please. I tried playing it off the first time but between myself and some people around me, even the “KYS 🥰🥰🥰” jokes really aren’t funny, especially recently. Asks including it will not be answered.

3) No firearms. Related to rule 2.

4) Please no spammy asks. I’m honestly not sure how to answer them, and they clog up both the blog itself and the main tags.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun to bully him, but these things cross a line for me. Thank you for understanding.

If you’re an RP blog, you’re more than welcome to interact! Even if you’re not a Dunmeshi blog! I don’t always have the time to do reblog chains, though, so please don’t feel bad if I miss you there. It’s easiest for me if you submit RP as an ask when the box is open. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. You can also DM this account for private RP if you’d like, but I may not respond promptly.

IN LIGHT OF DUPLICATE CHARACTERS:

I think that’s awesome and also really funny. I encourage it. We’ve already got a loose MCU/multiverse plot line going on so we can totally make it work, too. Hell yeah. Hilarious. Love that. /gen

Blog lore:

This blog takes place loosely post canon. I try to avoid spoilers, but little things here and there are inevitable. Chilchuck has made up with his wife and they’re currently working on their relationship. Chilchuck is also in therapy. This is for a few reasons.

1) I don’t think he’d actually answer any of these if he wasn’t.

2) He doesn’t talk about it a lot, but it was one of his wife’s conditions before giving the relationship another go.

3) He just. Should be in general and I have control of it so it’s happening lol

My Chil is bi, but in the middle-aged “everyone’s had gay thoughts before” kinda way, cause I think it’s funnier that way. He also gets high from time-to-time now that he’s not dungeneering anymore.

Folks kept turning him into different things/animals, so goldstar/⭐️ anon gave him an amulet to put a stop to that.

Squeaker also used a device to prevent any crab transformations specifically from occurring, as well as ejecting all crabs within like. 10 miles or something (I’ll double check this later.)

There’s also a cult stalking him for some reason.

The TVA (Marvel) is loosely involved as well as previously mentioned. Squeak fixed it (kind of).

Also, Chil’s knowledge of the blog/Tumblr varies depending on what would be funnier, but generally he’s aware of the internet. He only uses his phone to answer your asks, though. He has no idea how to do anything else and has no desire to. This means he doesn’t fact check people or knows anything about the greater internet experience. No one knows how he got the phone, or how it’s holding a charge. Don’t worry about it.

(It’s 5am rn and I’m too tired to link relevant posts, I’ll get to it later I promise.)

I myself don’t talk in the main posts, unless it’s tagged #ooc. Otherwise, I’ll always talk in the tags if I’ve got something to say.

Emoji anons:

•⭐️/goldstar anon

•🦉/owl anon

•👻/ghost anon

•♡/heart anon

No other heart variants have been claimed. Also, heads up to all emoji anons, I’m going to start using just one tag for your asks going forward to make tagging easier! So I’ll just be using the emoji variant from here 💖

If you want to hang out with me in a less censored area, I also run @chilfucked which is 18+ only.

I also reserve the right to update these rules as time goes on, so please check them again before submitting when the ask box is open again. Thank you!

[dominantslasherking]

Imagine railing the fuck out of Patrick Bateman after catching him flirting with one of his co-workers. Just railing him till he's a sobbing mess, begging for release knowing you won't give it to him until you've finished first.

( also I love your writing, I always get excited when you post something fanfic or not )

Patrick Bateman with Dominant Male S/o

My Stories are meant for the much more mature audience, 18+

You two were married, however, you liked to keep your marriage on the down low...It wasn't because you were a gay couple, you both just hated the unwanted and annoying attention that it would get you, like an invitation to a 'couples' party or whatever bullshit they like to call it. People are annoying. They also like to butt into things.

Right now you were currently heading towards your husband's office to invite him to dinner at Dorsia, which he couldn't ever get into. And so you did the most reasonable thing, you bought the place.

Of course, you didn't really want to change anything about it, however, you did want to change a little thing, your husband is always welcome to eat there, let's just say ever since you bought it, it became even more popular and the reservations are even harder to get now.

Looking into Patrick's office windows you realized no one was there, so you made your way into the common workroom. All eyes were on you, everyone wondering why a famous young handsome billionaire was in this building. However, a set of certain eyes weren't on you.

There you saw Patrick flirting with a new employee, she was rather eye-catching, however, you couldn't help but notice the even littlest flaws on her...However you ignored her, it wasn't her fault that your husband was flirting with her.

"Mr. Bateman?" Your voice rang out, it wasn't really cold until he ignored you multiple times, "Mr....Bateman?" Your husky and rough voice rang out maybe for the fifth time, your hand finally placing itself on his shoulder.

Patrick turned his face toward you, with a grimace, he looked at your boredly and gave a fake smirk as if taunting you.

"And what do you want?" He snarkily asked, suddenly walking away, turning away from the woman he was flirting with and then away from you, heading towards his office.

Your jaw clenched at his insolence, as you followed him, ignoring the gossip around you.

Making it back to his office, you realized there were now currents closed on the windows, and when you tried to open the office door it was locked.

Guess you'll just have to wait until he gets home.

<><<><><><><><<<<>>>><<<>>>><<<>>>>><<<>>>>> "Sir, L/n...I have already made your preparations for tomorrow." Your assistant spoke over the phone, and you gave a hum in response, quickly hanging up as you noticed how there was the slam of the door.

Patrick ushered in, hanging his suit jacket up by the door before loosening his red tie. "Can you believe it, fucking Paul Allen can get a reservation at Dorsia, but I can't even get, 'We'll think about it!'" Patrick raged looking at his husband's cold face.

"So you were being a dick to me, just because you couldn't get a reservation, I'm guessing you made the reservation yesterday?" Of course, he made the reservation yesterday, you didn't buy the restaurant until today so of course, he wouldn't be able to get in at that point in time.

Patrick stayed silent at your words. You suddenly got off the couch, and toward over him.

Your thumb traced over his bottom lip while leaning down a bit to stare into his eyes. He looked at you cockily, practically saying he doesn't regret his actions.

<><<><><><><><<<<>>>><<<>>>><<<>>>>><<<>>>>> Patrick Bateman withered under your strong body, he looked like a mess, with his hair all over the place, and drool slightly dripping out of the corner of his mouth.

Your cock was prodding deep inside him, resting for a bit, before pulling out and slamming into him hard earning a small cry from the perfectionist.

As you continued to ram his sensitive hole, Patrick nearly lost himself in the lust his eyes nearly rolling back, but he tried to keep himself contained, his eyes lids dragging heavily as he was drunk on your cock.

Your large veiny hand was gripping Patrick's cock, giving it a squeeze and not allowing him to even release a single drop, as your cock continued to invade and plow his squishy and warm hole.

Patrick tried to beg for his own release however, it came out more of a slur and cohesive words which were quickly covered up by his cries of pleasure as you ripped open his hole, which would surely be left gaping after you were done.

His cock was weeping and crying under your touch, his body harshly rocked against your fast and rough movements, his hole squeezing in both pain and pleasure.

He then began to spit out apologies, "Nmm~mm~SoRmm~rryyy!" He cried smothering his head into the soft billowing, his tears falling and soaking the bed.

Your free hand which wasn't gripping his cock, gripped his face, forcing him to look into the mirror which you had placed. Patrick had to watch, as you fucked him hard and rough, his hole easily slurping up the load of cum you emptied inside him.

However you weren't done, your cock was still hard as a rock, after maybe a short rest of emptying your cum inside him, your movements easily went back to slamming deeply inside him. His walls clamped around your cock sucking all of your cum into him, as your cock continued to impale inside him.

Tilting your head back, You released Patrick's cock, allowing him to let out a cry of pleasure and release all over himself, his breath deepening at his own release.

You chuckled at his expression, he really thought it was over? Thrusting inside him hard, fully lodging your cock inside, Patrick letting out a whimper followed by a groan

[faghubby]

Happily married

I stood in the kitchen doorway and watched from across the room as he slid his hand over my wife's ass. I had met him only once before but knew he had been fucking my wife for several months now. The scene made me excited since almost everyone we knew was there. Family, friends, Co workers. We always threw a party for Halloween it wasn't necessarily a Halloween party as much as a preamble to the holiday season. As I watched this man secretly flirt and touch Kelly, I felt a hand on the small of my back.

"Wondering if she will ever fuck you again?" Tim whispered in my ear. I froze as his hand slid down cupping my ass.

"After dinner you're going to take me somewhere and suck my cock. While all your friends and family listen" he said. His hand massage my ass.

"Look at him wondering around with your wife, think she is introducing him as her lover"Tim continued. Just as my sister walked over to me.

"There you are hiding?" Linda said.

"No not all, have you met Tim?" I said introducing him. Tim stepped out and shook her hand. Tim took Linda arm and led her away talking about the new lights he had installed for us in the dining room. The party continued and me and Kelly exchanged looks a few times but where never together. Other then when we welcomed everyone to our home. I lost track of her for awhile but we did have almost 100 people wondering around. That is until Kelly came up to me and suddenly kissed me. I tasted her lovers cum as she fed it to me.

"Such a good sissy bitch" she whispered in my ear. If I had not been wearing the special panties with a built in gaffe. The whole room would of know I had an erection. Well not the whole room. Kelly did cuckold me because I was too small to please her. But she also liked me to always wear very tight pants. To show off my sexy bubble butt.

"Do you know how many in this room know you like to suck dick?" She asked me. I didn't not really I knew a few. But knew she had told more. Just then my phone vibrated. It was Tim. When he called a pic of his cock appeared on my phone. I always worried someone would see. Text read Master bedroom now. I kissed Kelly and made my way upstairs. As I entered Tim stood there naked. He pointed to the floor and I dropped to my knees. He approached his cock swinging between his legs.

"Make it hard" he ordered I instantly started to kiss and lick his cock. For the past 2 months I had sucked his cock at least a dozen times.

Kelly had hired him to seduce me. At least that's what she always told me. That fact he was an electrician was a bonus. He grew hard in my mouth.

"I know Kelly already gave you your oral dose of cum, so this one is going in your ass" Tim told me. I was so nervous someone would hear him he wasn't trying to be quiet. He pulled me to my feet. I quickly disrobed. And stood before him in a pink thong and a corset. With stockings. He laid me on the bed. I spread my legs. As he applied lube. He then pushed his hard cock in my ass. I let out a moan as he did. He put my legs on his shoulders as he fucked me.

"You love this don't you, you are such a little faggot." Tim told me. Tim was gay sure but he had never taken anything up his ass he swore. Well besides my tounge a few times. He had sucked some cock. But preferred to fuck little sissy bitches as he put it. He was a machine sawing my ass with his thick 8 inch cock. I was trying to be quiet but the more I tried the harder and faster Tim fucked me. He finally stiffened and filled my ass with his cum.

"Why don't you put on something alittle sexier" Tim went to my closet he pulled out a clean pink lace thong with matching bra. He then handed me a pair of woman's slacks with a zipper on the side. He allowed me to keep on my dark colored shirt to hide the bright colored bra. Tim led me back to the party. Kelly saw us.

"Don't you look hot" Kelly giggled her hand ran across my ass. Tim pulled me to a corner he unzipped my pants and slid his hand into my pants rubbing my hard dick.

"Tim I am going to " I said resting my head on his shoulder. Tim stopped leaving me wanting, he pushed his fingers in my mouth so I could taste my precum. I opened my eyes to see. My neighbor. Kathy walking in the room. She was a bit startled by what she saw prehaps more embarrassed. Tim smiled at me, he loved to expose me. I wanted to chase after her, try and explain. But my pants where still unzipped and Tim still held me.

"Let her run off and tell kelly" Tim told me. I so wanted to cum. "Kelly and I think you shouldn't cum anymore" Tim told me. We had discussed this before. Kelly had wanted to lock me in chastity. Tim had convinced her he could use humiliation to a much more satisfactory effect.

"Tim please"

"Why don't you call me sir" he said. My pants had settled down a bit more.

"Sir may I cum please" I begged.

"You want me to what bend you over right here in this room and fuck you right now?" Tim asked. I didn't he knew that. He grabbed, my thong and yanked it up so my whale tail would show. Then let me fix my pants but not my panties.

"Go ask your wife if it would be okay if you spent the night with me in the guest room. " Tim said. I nodded and went to find Kelly. I found Kathy quietly talking with Kelly. Kelly motioned me over.

"Paulie is a sissy cuckold" Kelly explained. She saw a flash of pink and to emphasize this pulled on my exposed panties. Kathy seemed stunned by all this. Kathy left in a hurry dragging her husband out the front door.

"Kelly would it be alright if Tim spent the night?" I asked.

"Still haven't had enough , I know he already fucked you earlier" Kelly said as if wanting me to plead my case.

"Yes, Kelly" I said.

"You have become a total faggot, you know that?" I couldn't look at her. "Yes you can have a sleep over" Kelly told me. "You better do everything he asks of you" the party was just about broken up. Only our closest friends remained. Kelly was actually sitting on her lovers lap. Leaving no doubt about who she was with. Tim wrapped his arms around me from behind. Although everyone knew I found it very embarrassing.

"Paul, does Tim have a big cock?" Nina Kelly's best friend laughed at my discomfort. I didn't answer. But Tim took it as a sign to push me. He unzipped my pants again this time letting them fall around my ankles.

"Paul, please. Sorry he has become such a faggot he can't control himself around men" Kelly said in a fake state of shock. To alot of laughter. Although I was so horny my slight erection vanished. My bulge easily held in the tiny thong.

"Look how smooth he keeps his legs" Diane said actually reaching out and running her hand up my leg

"Don't get me started he spends more time in the bathroom trying to look pretty then I do" Kelly responded.

"Please sir" I begged wanting out of the room.

"Strip, down to just your lingerie. Then you can go upstairs and wait for me" he told me. I hesitated so Tim started to take off my shirt. Exposing the my bra I stood in just lingerie in front of our friends. Tim smacked my ass and I ran upstairs.

"What no kiss goodnight?" Kelly called out. I ran back kissed her quick before running out again. All to a great round of laughter. I fell on the bed crying. Tim entered a moment later.

"Enough of that" Tim pulled me up to my feet he stripped me naked. Then had me watch as he undressed.

"Do you still want to cum" Tim asked.

"No, sir" I wimpered.

"Good. Now see if you can get me hard again" he said. I sucked his cock hard, Tim had me get on my hands and knees. His cock slid in easy having been on there only about 90 minutes earlier. I didn't even try and be quiet as Tim fucked me in-between smacks to my ass.

"OH thank you,sir" I moaned. Just as Kelly walked in. Tim never stopped.

"OH my" Kelly said as she watched me get plowed, she had seen me suck a cock but never get fucked before.

"You where making so much noise" Kelly explained before she turned to leave with a smile. The embarrassment kept me soft thru it all. After Tim had pumped his seed deep in my bowels. He had me put on fresh bright pink lingerie. Stockings, garter, a thong , and bra, he added a pink collar to my neck. Before cuddling with me to we fell asleep.

Kelly woke me,

"Do you still like pussy?" She asked as she lowered herself to my mouth. Cum flowed out of her as I licked her clean. I was amazed how much there was.

"Yeah, your tounge has always been magic" she moaned. This woke Tim. He rolled to us. Kelly moaned louder. I couldn't see what they where doing but Tim was sitting up. Kelly shifted having me lick her asshole. Before she got up. I saw Tim kiss her breast one last time. Kelly left Tim pushed up my bra and kissed and sucked my nipples. I moaned. My penis leaking in my panties. Tim felt me throbbing and stoped rolled over and went back to sleep. I was in agony. But knew better then to masterbate.

I woke up late. And made my way down stairs. I found Mike shirtless making breakfast. Kelly and Tim where sitting at the table. I came in and sat down. Mike put a plate in front of me. With grapefruit And a protein shake. This was part of my very strick diet. He patted my head.

"Eat up" he said condescending

"Paul, did your new robe not fit" Kelly asked. She was talking about the silk robe she had bought me that said sissy on the back.

"It is a little short" I commented.

"Stand up" Tim ordered I did as told. He pulled off my sweat pants and tee shirt I had put on. "Well then you can just wear your underwear then" Tim told me. Mike walked up behind Kelly and slid his hand down the front of her shirt. Exposing her breast as he did.

"Why do you tease him so" Kelly laughed. KissingMike. After breakfast both Mike and Tim had to go. Leaving me and Kelly alone. I cleaned up.

"Tim wants you to come out fully. You know" Kelly commented.

"Stop wearing men's things, stop pretending" Kelly added. We had discussed this before she knew I wasn't truly gay, I was submissive to almost everyone. Although I was terrified when Tim exposed me. I found it exhilarating. Kelly pulled on the ring attached to my collar.i had forgotten I still wore it.

"This is new" Kelly smiled. I blushed.

"Mike gave me jewelry" Kelly bent a little showing me she wore no panties and had a jeweled plug in her ass.

"Get dressed we can get our nails done" Kelly told me

"I should get to work today" I commented.

"Your the boss, assign someone" she said flashing me her ass. I ran after her. We showered together. Washing each other. I got an erection but Kelly ignored it. Kelly picked out a dress for me to wear. She sat me down and adjusted a wig on my head and did my make up. All while she was naked.

"No panties" she said lifting my dress. She did slip breast forms in my bra . "I know what you need" she produced a matching plug, bent over and let her insert it. She drove, I can't drive wear heels. She took my hand and led me into the salon. We had done this before. But I was still nervous. We sat and had a mani/pedi. And gossip with the girls.

"Paula here has the quietest guy, I hear he has a big one too" Kelly giggled. The girls looked at me to confirm. I just turned red and loomed away.

"OH that confirms it" one of the girls laughed. Kelly lifted my dress. The girls laughed historically. After that they decided I need fake nails as long as they could make them along with bright colors and pretty designs. They drew a penis on each big toe nail.

"You know, I am never going to let you go back to being a man. you belong to men now" Kelly told me. Her hand slid under my dress at a stop light. She rubbed my soft penis.

"You don't even get hard for me anymore" she told me. "Any man I choose for you" Kelly told me. She drove me home.

[imdoingsortagay]

Pervy Manager!Nat headcanons

this is so short but so gay 

18+post below no minors,

reblogs are appreciated!!!

Warnings: workplace abuse of power, Pervy!Nat, oral( Nat r), smut, Perverted thoughts, 

Getting a job at Stark industries after graduating college 

Feeling nervous when you walk into your interview but are greeted by a welcoming Natasha who informs you she’s the main manager in the company

Natasha using this as an opportunity to check you out, think so many nasty thoughts while you ramble away

Hiring you right away even tho Pepper told her to interview everyone and vouching for you

Being put by the managers office because “ it’s be easier to get in contact with each other”. 

complimenting you over everything

Praising you to make you blush

Saying sexual things in her native tongue but you think she’s being so sweet ( also nobody in the office knows Russian sooooo)

Telling you how “ it’s so unfortunate a pretty girl like you doesn’t have people lining up to be with you”

TOUCHY SO TOUCHY 

Pet Names to the max especially

The trope where an elevator is full and Nat makes her way behind you, sneakily touching your hips, whatever she can to be fair

telling you how to do everything step by step

“ Honey, i told you i’d be helping you with anything that you need and i meant it” 

She’s obsessed with seeing you wear skirts at work

Will fuck herself in her office while looking at you as she has her own space while you have a cubical nearby her. 

Your cubicle neighbor Maria talking about how you’re Natasha’s little pet which goes over your head.

When she sees you bonding with Maria, she moves her to a different area of the building.

“ we wouldn’t want the new rookie to get distracted would we ?”

if you wear a lowcut shirt, Natasha will take the opportunity to stare while you work. 

Fixing up your clothes a bit as “ just woman looking out for woman” 

really she’s trying to take pictures of what’s under your skirt for later at home. 

A whole folder dedicated to pictures of you that she will fuck herself to at home, in her office in a way she won’t get caught, even in the office bathroom too, Girlie does not care since Pepper respects her a lot to actually fire her.

Natasha bringing you as a plus one to a stark Gala

internally going crazy over the dress you wore 

going back home with Maria to fuck her but only thinking of you as she fucks her friend roughly

Making a plan to get you to be only hers

Having you stay late night in the office to work on a new project that Pepper requested. 

Natasha insisting she sit next to you, which in turn makes you blush like crazy

“ Darling we haven’t even started working and you’re blushing, so so cute” 

Her hand on your thigh while working, just rubbing it and acting like nothings wrong. 

When she sees you squirm, she moves her hand up higher as you explain everything about the project right. 

“ Miss Romanoff what are you doing?” 

She keeps teasing you while you quietly moan as her hand moves closer to your core. 

“ Can’t wait to fuck your pretty little body, you want Mommy to make you feel good down there? Surely you must feel the same way i have “

Once you say that OH MY GOD SHE WOULD BE ROUGH 

Having you eat her cunt out on your knees, grabbing your hair to keep you in place. 

taking pictures for her phone,videos too and degrading the f outta you

“ Dirty whore making mommy feel so good, fuck i can’t wait to fuck that cunt of yours. 

That night, Natasha makes you her cute little pet that she can use however she likes

[steddieas-shegoes]

i'm coming out

for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'pride'

rated t | 880 words | no cw | tags: coming out, bisexual king gareth, side steddie

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Gareth hated to admit it, but he was jealous.

He was jealous of Steve still being able to hide under the radar enough that he could go to gay clubs and pride events without anyone batting an eye. He was jealous of Eddie being out publicly, not having to keep any part of his life a secret except for what he truly wanted to. And he was jealous of his own boyfriend, Sam, for not even having to worry about how the public would react if they knew he was gay.

"I just think it sounds like you want to come out," he said over the phone. "If Eddie can, why can't you?"

"It's not that easy!" Gareth argued, though he wasn't really sure how to back that argument up. It was that easy. Nobody in the band would care if he decided to come out, and most of the fans would be fine with it if they went off their reaction to Eddie coming out.

"Why not?" Sam asked, calm in Gareth's chaos.

"Because if people don't like Eddie, it can be for any number of reasons. He's loud, or a nerd, or too hyper. If they don't like me, it's definitely just because I like men." Gareth had never actually acknowledged that thought before, but here he was, saying it out loud on the phone to his boyfriend. "I don't want people to hate me."

"Baby..." Sam started. He sighed. "It's your choice. You know I would never pressure you to do anything you aren't ready for. But it does sound like the only person who is holding you back is you."

Gareth didn't feel like talking about it more, but Sam let him change the subject and the rest of the conversation went fine.

"Think about it, Gare," Sam said as they hung up.

That's all he did for days. He saw countless posts about pride events in the cities they were stopping in on the tour, Eddie even made an appearance at a drag brunch and left VIP tickets for the performers to come to Corroded Coffin's show that night. He thought about being able to be a part of the community in the way he knew he could be.

"Ed?" He asked right before they all went to bed.

"Yeah?" Eddie was typing out a text on his phone, probably some long and romantic and disgusting ode to Steve.

"You're going to the parade in Boston right?"

Eddie looked up from his phone, brows furrowing. "Yeah, why?"

"Mind if I come with you?"

"You're always welcome, you know that." Eddie smiled. "You coming as an ally or as the 'B' in LGBTQIA+?"

"I think I'm gonna come as me."

****

He didn't tell Sam what he was doing, figured he would have time between getting back to the tour bus and when news started hitting.

He forgot that Sam tracked alerts on Twitter for him.

His phone started ringing the moment he hit the end of the parade route.

"Hey, love," Gareth couldn't stop smiling. He'd never felt like he belonged here quite like he did today. "All okay?"

"I'm so fuckin' proud of you." Sam's smile was evident in his voice. "You could've given me a little warning though. Seeing 20 notifications pop up at once is a bit terrifying."

"Sorry. Wanted to surprise you. Did you like my shirt?" Gareth looked down at the shirt he was wearing.

"You mean the "ask me about my boyfriend" with a bi pride flag shirt? Yeah, I'd like a matching one as soon as possible."

"Yeah?"

They both laughed as Gareth found a small corner of the alley they'd stopped in to be alone.

"I can't wait to kiss you. This is the hottest thing you've ever done."

"What about that time I fucked you against my drum set?" Gareth asked with a smirk.

"Okay. The second hottest thing you've ever done. Still don't know how you had the strength to hold most of my weight for that long," Sam sounded like his thoughts were drifting to the memory of that day. "Anyway! I don't wanna keep you from having fun. But call me later."

"Okay, babe. Wish you were here," Gareth said softly. "Miss you."

"Miss you too. But only three weeks until you're home."

"Feels like forever."

"Dramatic." Sam laughed. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too. If you see me getting drunk in a gay bar later, no you don't."

"I'd buy you a drink if I was there."

"Three weeks."

"21 days."

"You two are disgusting." Eddie yelled from a few feet away.

Sam laughed and said goodbye as Gareth walked over to Eddie.

"Not any more disgusting than you and Steve," he grumbled. "At least Steve comes with you for most of the tour."

"Can you imagine if he didn't? The world would end."

Gareth rolled his eyes. "Uh huh. Drinks?"

"Drinks!" Eddie threw his arms up and started running down the block, ignoring the yells of people recognizing him as he made his way to the bar they'd already chosen.

Gareth followed, unable to wipe the smile from his face. He was out, and maybe he'd have to do it more officially later on, but for now, this was enough.

[kaylinlmao]

hello and welcome!

a little about me! my name is kaylin. i am bisexual and my pronouns are she/her. i love to write, and have written multiple short stories. i took a loooong break from writing in order to work on myself and my mental health but now im back and better than ever! my fandoms haven't changed, although im not entirely sure if people are still into tbp, which is why i write for mcu, stranger things, harry potter, etc. i am experimenting with writing smut and nsfw so you can request it, but be aware that if im not comfy with writing it, the request will be deleted. something that i enjoy doing is writing short stories with prompts. such as, enemies to lovers short story, and ill write it. so give me some prompts for short stories it you'd like. enjoy your stay here and have fun!

requests are: OPEN

fandoms I will write for

the black phone: robin, finney, vance, bruce, billy, gwen, donna

stranger things: nancy, steve, robin, eddie, billy, request others

it 2017: bill, richie, stan, eddie, ben, bev, mike, request others

mcu: wanda (my beloved), yelena, kate, peter, tony, natasha, jane, carol, maria, pietro, request others (i feel like i just revealed how gay i am)

harry potter: mattheo riddle (also my beloved), theodore nott, pansy parkinson, blaise zabini, lorenzo birkshire, fred and george weasley, hermione granger, request others

harry potter (marauders era): sirius black, james potter, peter pettigrew (love him), remus lupin, lily potter, regulus black, request others

tasm & tasm 2: harry osborn (my fave), peter parker, gwen stacy, max dillon (platonic)

what i will write

yandere

platonic headcannons

romantic headcannons

sfw headcannons

nsfw headcannons (as long as they're over 18)

fluff and angst

i will write and try just about everything. if I don't like it, i won't write it again.

what i WILL NOT write

pedophiles

scat

piss

i'm sure this list will get longer over time but for now, these are my hard nopes.

this blog is again mostly for the stupid scenarios and imagines in my head so please no hate. love y'all! :) -kaylin

blog started on october 13, 2022

masterlist last updated on january 24th, 2023

the black phone masterlist

stranger things masterlist (work in progress)

more to come! go check out my wattpad @kaylinlmao

[cheesysoup-arlo]

(not yet) Naked (but) in Manhattan (pt. 1)

Janis x reader

A/N: some of the words in here are exactly what it says in the song so full credit to that I did not come up with those parts

Turning your phone off of airplane mode and you had a few notification, one stood out to you at the bottom, a voicemail?

*voicemail from “Art cutie🎨”*

You decide to pop in your headphones to give it a listen

“Hey it’s Janis I know you just landed and I know you’re probably busy but I would love to see you so call me when you can”

Janis…your mind drifts back to your first time meeting her, exactly two months ago at the art exhibition back in California, it was a college student art exhibition for a few chosen students from different states to display their art. Getting the email that you were chosen and getting a free trip to California was awesome. You met so many amazing artists and you met this one person, Janis ‘Imi’ike. The prettiest person you’ve ever met, she was nice and helped you set up your display. After the event you to exchanged contact information to stay in contact given the fact you lived in different states from each other. Over the two months you two had gotten close, it felt different than any other friendship or even relationship you’d ever been in. She sends you good morning texts and good night texts which makes you have this warm fuzzy feeling that’s totally not a crush. You had a trip to New York planned for about 5 months now, when you made the plans you only knew one person living there, Damian Hubbar, you met him when you were working on set design on your last trip out here which was a work trip, he told you about his friend and shockingly you ended up meeting her without Damian, you’re snapped out of your trip down memory lane when you bump into someone “oh my gosh I’m so sorry” you say picking up your phone from the ground and you look up to see “Damian! What are you doing here man” you say a little surprise to find him at the airport “girl I’m here to pick you up, did you not get my text?” Damian said a little confused “oh shoot yeah sorry I saw it” you say remembering that Damian had sent to a few text “well let’s go bitch, we’re gonna head to my place to drop off your stuff and I was thinking we could maybe surprise Janis at her new studio, you know with the opening being today” Damian says grabbing one of your bags “oh yes absolutely” You said as you both continued to walk to the exit of the airport.

You guys made a quick stop at Damian’s apartment it was really nice, you dropped off your bags and Damian’s boyfriend decided to join you guys to go see Janis.

The drive was pretty short. The studio was absolutely beautiful, there was a mural at the entrance that you assumed Janis made. “All right we are about 5 minutes early so we can get out and hang out at the front before more people come” Damian said parking the car. There are a few people already there, “Damian omg what took you so long” the shorter of the three girls asks “I’m sorry Gretch I had to pick this one up from the airport” Damian says referring to you, you had seen these girls before but only in Instagram posts and stories “oh is this the famous y/n Janis won’t shut up about?” the tall blonde asks “um uh yeah? It’s nice to meet you guys” you say a little awkward “I’m Regina, this is Karen and-“ “I’m Gretchen” Gretchen says when Regina points at her to introduce herself “Regina, Karen, Gretchen, got it” you say giving them a thumbs up. The doors open to reveal a mildly stressed Janis “psst D, I need your help” Janis whisper yells causing Damian to rush over to her “I can’t reach the pamphlets” she says frustrated “it’s ok tiny gay I’ll save the day” he jokes, Janis rolls her eyes as he hands her the box “thank you, now you have to help pass them out” she says sticking her tongue out at him, you let out a small laugh observing their interaction. “Hey everybody welcome to the official opening of my art studio, thank you all for coming we have a lovely array of art and drinks” winking with the last word “please grab a pamphlet on your way in, they have descriptions of each art piece that I have currently up, when my next few art related events are, and my contact info for commission and other things” Janis says with a smile on her face followed by applause from the people attending. You go in and mingle for a while grabbing a drink and enjoying how amazing the art is, you’re especially drawn to her mix media pieces.

“Y/n? You-you made it? You actually came” Janis says as tears start to well up in her eyes “surprise? I told you I’d be in Manhattan, why wouldn’t I come to your opening?” You say pulling her in for a hug “I don’t know I thought maybe you’d be too tired to come you know jet lag” she says a little embarrassed “you’re right the jet lag is crazy but I wouldn’t want to miss something so important to you, you know I even moved to an early flight for you” you say with a small slightly embarrassed smirk “what! really?” Janis says genuinely surprised “yeah” you say with a nod. You and Janis mingle around and meet some new people until around 6:30pm. “Y’all wanna get tacos and then head to the nice gay bar” Regina suggests “oooo fuck yeah it’s the one by the theater right?” Janis asks “yeah and the really good taco place across the street” Regina says with a nod. You guys head to the taco shop, order and sit down together, you become the topic of conversation “Soooo how’s life, do you have a boyfriend or…girlfriend?” Gretchen asks “Boys suck and girls…I’ve never tried…” you say a little embarrassed about the last part “ooo ok but girls interest you?” Gretchen asks just out of curiosity “Yeah I guess you could say that” if you wanted to be completely honest you would say there’s one girl that interests you and she just so happened to be sitting right texting to you while your lovely new friend probes you with questions “Gretchen?” Regina says “I think you’re scaring her just a little” Regina says in the nicest way she can with a bitchy under tone “oh sorry, I just get excited” Gretchen says “it’s ok” you say forcing a small smile then picking at you chipped nail polish

You guys eat then head to the gay bar. “It smells like glitter and-“ you say “vodka?” Janis interrupts “yeah” you say with a laugh and smile “wanna go dance?” Janis suggests seeing Karen and Gretchen over there already “drinks first then absolutely” you say walking over to the bar you tell him your order and he hands it to you as your about to pay Janis slips him her card and says “put it on my tab” winking at you then ordering a drink herself “you know you didn’t have to do that right” you say “yeah but I wanted to” Janis say looking into your eyes with a kind smile, your face feels a little warm maybe it’s just your drink maybe it’s Janis (it’s definitely Janis) god why did this girl have such an effect on you. You decided to give yourself the limit of one drink, it was a new space with people you didn’t know well yet. Regina pulled you on to the dance floor, “heyyy” Regina said “hi” you said with a small laugh noticing her semi drunk state. You two were dancing close, your back pressed up against your front dancing to the music. Janis watches from the bar, her eyes trace your body from your face all the way down, biting her lip, she looks up at your face again to see that you’ve been watching her too, slightly embarrassed she blushes and looks away. “You know you two would be really cute together” Regina whispers right into your ear, her warm breath startling you slightly “what” you say quickly looking away from Janis “I said you two would be cute together, she talks about you a lot and I’ve never seen her look at someone like that so you’re definitely special” Regina says turning you around to look at her “how long are you here for” Regina ask “well um honestly I don’t have a return date and long as I go back eventually…for like my stuff” you say looking down at your hands, you’ve officially finished college and you honestly aren’t sure what you’re doing next “you really like her don’t ya” Regina says with a giggle “yeah, I do I really do fuck but I’ve never done anything with a girl before like not even kissed” you say embarrassed and realizing this is the first time you’ve admitted your crush on Janis “Y/n you’ll be fine, just be honest with her she love communication” Regina says putting her hand on your shoulder then turning you in the direction of Janis with a small push. “Hey y/n do you um wanna get out of here?” Janis asks “yeah um that would be nice” you say with a small smile “yo D, we’re gonna head out I got us an Uber” Janis says giving Damian a hug “byee see y’all tomorrow” Damian says followed by the rest of the group exchanging farewells. Janis grabs your hand and pulls you outside “we’re heading to my place, do you need anything?” Janis asks “no I’m good” you say fidgeting with your rings, she slides her arm around your waist looking at you to make sure you’re ok, you smile and blush creeps up on to your cheeks “it’s really nice to see you again” she says leaning her head on your shoulder, your breathe becomes a little unsteady, she had such an effect on you and she was barely doing anything. You two got into the Uber and headed to her house the ride was quiet and her hand rested gently on your thigh the whole time, you two would make eye contact often but not say anything.

Finally arriving at her apartment “welcome to my slightly messy home, make yourself comfortable sit literally anywhere” she says as she picks a few things up off the floor, you admire all the art around her house, the finished and unfinished projects “thirsty?, I’ve got water and iced tea” she says opening the fridge “water please” you say, she grabs two bottles of box water (I feel like she’s a box water drinker) “thank you” you say looking up at her from where you’re sitting on the floor (floor is the best place to sit not up for debate) she plops down next to you “how are you?” She asks “I’m really good…I’ve missed you a lot if I’m being honest” you say fidgeting with the cap of your bottle “I’ve missed you too, even with the calling and texting, I really like being around you” she says looking at you with her hand gently resting on your thigh, your skin feels like it’s on fire but in a good way, a light pink dusts your cheeks. You two just look into each other’s eyes for a moment, “um do you wanna stay over?, you can borrow some of my clothes and I have an extra toothbrush” Janis offers “yeah that’s sounds fun, finally hanging out after two months, just the two of us” that last part you say a little more quietly “wanna play a game?” Janis suggests “um sure what do you have in mind” you say a little hesitant “uh I got a couple Nintendo games or I got Jenga and Uno” Janis says “ooo do you have mariokart?” You ask “um yeah of course I have Mariokart” Janis says with a small laugh getting up to turn on the TV and grab the controllers “thank you” you say as she hands you a controller, she sets up the game, you pick your character and car (I’m personally a yoshi person most of the time) and she picks hers. You guys play a few rounds you won twice and Janis has too so now you’re doing a tie breaker “oh I’m totally gonna beat you” Janis says biting her bottom lip to focus, you let out a scoff “you said that last round and lost” your tongue peeking out the side of your lips as you focused on trying to beat her. You win “HA I BEAT YOU” you say standing up and getting close to her, Janis is sitting on the couch, she pulls you close by your belt loops, you get flustered and lose your balance falling on top of her causing her to lay down with you on top of her “woah” you say blushing at how close your face is to her’s “hey cutie” Janis says with a wink

A/N: pt. 2 coming soon (it’s smut lol) also let me know if you want to be added to the tag list <3

Tag list:

@ashecampos

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Rise of the Pink Ladies incorrect quotes

Its long as hell so imma put a post break here

~

Jane: I think we're missing something.

Olivia: Teamwork?

Cynthia: Cohesion?

Nancy: A general sense of what we’re doing?

~

Cynthia: Olivia isn’t answering her phone

Jane: I’ll call

Cynthia: Nancy and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Olivia: Hello?

~

Jane: *Gently taps table*

Olivia: *Taps back*

Cynthia: What are they doing?

Nancy: Morse code.

Jane: *Aggressively taps table*

Olivia: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

~

Jane: Dammit, Nancy!

Nancy: What?! It wasn’t me!

Jane: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Cynthia!

Cynthia: Not me either.

Jane: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?

Olivia: *whistles*

~

Cynthia: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Nancy: Not if they consent to it.

Olivia: Depends who you’re stabbing.

Jane: YES?!?

~

*Jane's helping Olivia out after she gets injured, while the others are watching*

Cynthia: How does Olivia look?

Nancy: A little better than you, actually

~

Jane: I think Nancy was right.

Olivia: I'm surprised she hasn’t marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Cynthia: She wouldn't do that.

Nancy: You're right, Cynthia. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

Nancy: *turns around, the shirt she’s wearing says 'Nancy Told You So' on the back*

~

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Cynthia: Shit.

Olivia: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Jane: OH MY GOD NANCY FELL OFF!!!

~

Olivia: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Cynthia: Are we stealing them?

Nancy: New or used?

Olivia: Wonderful responses, both of you.

~

Cynthia: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Olivia: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Cynthia: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING NANCY WITH ME

Jane, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

~

Jane: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Olivia: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Cynthia: I personally was created in a lab.

Nancy: I just straight up spawned lol.

~

Jane: Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Olivia: I don’t know how to do that.

Cynthia: I don’t wear a watch.

Nancy: Time is a construct.

~

Cynthia: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail

Nancy: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police

~

Olivia: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Jane: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

~

Cynthia, struggling to keep upright in her 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me

Olivia, pointing at her and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

~

Cynthia: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Nancy: *chugs entire bottle*

Nancy: It’s perfume.

~

Cynthia: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Jane: You're like 15 years old

Cynthia: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

~

Cynthia: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Jane: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.

Nancy: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God

~

Olivia: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Jane: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Olivia: Absolutely not.

(This could work with either sibling but I’m gay so you get gay people)

~

Cynthia: Top 30 reasons why Cynthia is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!

Olivia: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

~

Jane: So what’s for dinner?

Cynthia, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret

~

Jane: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE

Olivia: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially

Jane, desperately, as Olivia bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Olivia: Oh! B positive.

Jane: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Olivia:

~

Cynthia: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you

Nancy: 10 times 0 is still 0 though

Cynthia: Jokes on you, I can't do math

~

Jane: Can you please be serious for five minutes?

Cynthia: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

~

Olivia: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Cynthia: Thank you

Olivia: I didn't say that was a good thing

Cynthia: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

~

Jane: Okay, truth or dare?

Nancy: Truth

Jane: How many hours have you three slept this week?

Nancy:

Cynthia: ...Dare

Jane: Go to bed.

Olivia: I don’t like this game.

~

Olivia: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Jane: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Olivia: No! Four to five seconds!

Jane: Too late!!!

~

Cynthia: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Jane: I think you mean cards.

Cynthia, pulling knives out of her sleeves: No, I do not.

~

Jane: This is such a bad idea.

Nancy: Then why are you coming along?

Jane: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

~

Nancy: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited

Olivia: If?

Cynthia: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and she might not even die.

~

Jane, to Nancy: My life is in the hands of an idiot!

Nancy, motioning to herself and Cynthia: No no no no no, TWO idiots!

~

Cynthia: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Nancy: The car takes a screenshot.

Olivia: For the last time, get the fuck out.

~

Cynthia: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Nancy: How am I supposed to know?

Olivia: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Nancy: *sighs*

Nancy: You wouldn't be trapped.

~

Store Worker: Would a Ms. Jane please come to the front desk?

Jane, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Nancy and Jane

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Nancy and Cynthia, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Jane: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

~

Jane: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Nancy: Okay, but in my defense, Cynthia bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Jane: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

~

Cynthia: I told Olivia her ears flush when they lie.

Jane: Why?

Cynthia: Look.

Cynthia: Hey Olivia! Do you love us?

Olivia, covering her ears: No.

Jane:

~

*Cynthia and Nancy sitting in jail together*

Nancy: So who should we call?

Cynthia: I’d call Olivia, but I feel safer in jail

~

Cynthia: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Nancy: The cow???

Cynthia: What?

Jane: Nancy, W H Y?

~

Jane: We need a distraction.

Olivia: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Cynthia, whispering: My time has come

~

Cynthia: Hey, Olivia? Can I get some dating advice?

Olivia: Just because I’m with Jane doesn’t mean I know how I did it.