#youve never slept better and never been so haunted by it

[skelekins]

It’s grey outside when there’s a knock on your door. You ignore it because you treat the door like your phone, you don’t answer it.

When it happens again you tiptoe over and squint through the peep hole. Nothing.

You itch your ass and unlatch the locks before cracking open the door. Nothing but must and quiet.

You close the door before your neighbors, that you may or may not have, notice.

You regret opening the door.

[tiens-letters]

upon autumns day, where you and I met. upon autumns day where I remember all of what we were before youve passed. and upon autumns day would I have ever so slowly let go of that pain of the past

zhongli (angst)

@albeidoof its somewhere here hehehe

Time was a luxury. A treasure each and everything holds.

Yet time is a curse as well. It covets, devours and leaves. which humanity neglects to cherish until the heart ceases its steady rythmn, only then do they regret of the wasted minutes, hours and seconds.

Beneath the flow of the rushing waves of things that have come and gone. Only on this particular day would he sit beneath a certain tree. The rough bark brushing up against his back as leaves fell effortlessly to the ground, as if it were ready to let go of from the branches that gave birth to it, only to return once again to the waiting soil.

It was a sunny afternoon, clear of any clouds and only clear unblemished blue, a good time to enjoy a warm cup of tea yet there was no energy in his bones to even move from where he was.

He felt exhausted. Desultory even.

Gone were the halcyon days of the past, and now the present time of the vivid reality he had to face.

Morax, rex lapis, the geo archon. Names that weighted more than one could carry, memories that shackled his soul that lived for a thousand years on end, all but a stain that could never be washed away.

The breeze slowly danced in, playing with his hair softly, kissing his skin and welcoming him. It carried a hint of aromatic essence only he would know belongs to.

You.

He tried to desperately recount the days after youve left the face of the earth and yet he could not remember or did his mind not allow him to as if he did, it would bring him terrible and heavy consequences for an answer, one sane mind would never want to know.

Sighing, he sat back and recalled back the memories of you instead. When you were alive, warm and breathing in his arms. He remembers the way your eyes would shine brightly whenever he would be around, or the small sound of delight you would make when you have finished another one of the many interesting blends of tea youve done over the course of a week of mixing different flowers and tea leaves. Youve made up quite the fortune with this as your little hobby bloomed into a fully run business known across teyvat.

"Zhongli." he froze, youve never called him by his name ever since youve started getting close, it made him feal uneasy as he turned to look at you who stood by the doorway, a neutral look on your face.

"y-yes?" nervousness clawed at him as he racked his brain to what he couldve done for you to call his name like that, he couldnt think of any.

"I came back from the market and I heard youve made quite the generous payment. Why is that, I wonder?" he's done it again, that spending habit of his

"The price was reasonable for such a fine ceramic tea set, I dont seem to find why it shouldnt reflect its quality?" you sighed as you pointed towards the glass cupboard behind him

"You bought the same exact set a week ago, Zhongli. Thats why." having to realize his mistake after looking over the two identical set that on the shelf, he turned to apologize but only to see you missing from the doorway. Footsteps can be heard from the floorboards above him. You were upset.

After minutes of pacing in the living room, he finally mustered the courage to climb the stairs and enter your shared bedroom. A figure already under the sheets as the warm glow of the lamp illuminated your delicate features. The mattress sunk as he sat beside you, fingers brushing away the stray hair that fell on your face.

"Im still mad at you Zhongli." his hand flinched slightly at the way you called him

"I apologize. I seem to not have learned my lesson again. I would gladly return the set tomorrow."

"Its no use, they dont accept refunds." you replied without sparing a glance at him

"What can I do for you to forgive me then?"

"Just go to sleep, Zhongli." groaning you reached for the switch to shut the lamp off but a gentle grip stopped you, forcing you to look at his gloomy expression. Perhaps you went too far this time.

"Please stop calling me in that way. I dont like it." he whispers, drawing your palm to his lips, leaving small kisses upon it. He sure does know his way around your heart, no wonder why you could not stay mad at him.

"Just be mindful next time." you cursed yourself for being weak to his charms.

"I will." yet something was missing "Then can you call me as you did before?"

"Zhongli?" you could see the slight grimace in his face as you teased him

"Stop it." he kissed you without warning "Call me as you did before."

However, his lips didnt stop as they began to travel. From your cheeks to you forehead and then to your neck. Oh dear, he wasnt having any of your teasing.

"A-li." you giggled beneath him as he finally stopped and met your gaze

"Thats better."

He still remembers the faint smile that graced your lips whenever he would wake up next to you tangled in the same sheets. The softness of your skin on his calloused touch. Your lips melting his and your voice lulling his raging mind to peace.

Then everything changed when you drew blood that spilled from those lips he's kissed for a thousand times, painting a morbid image on the sheets. Anger and despair boiled inside of him once he learned of the secret youve kept. Zhongli was a calm and collected man all of the time except when he was with you.

Having to witness him at such a point felt as if his own spear was being driven right through his very chest. He held you in an arms width away, the panic and pain in his eyes increasing over the minute as he begged for you to explain why youve decided to lie about the flowers that bloomed in your lungs, the sickness youve inherited from your deceased mother, whose fate you soon would follow. You didnt want him to find out, not in this way.

He couldve done anything if he knew from the start but alas, you wanted to be cruel, thinking it was for the best. Until your symptoms persisted, a heavy reminder of the remaining distance of the string you have to walk on to reach the end. The heavy feeling in your chest started to worsen as cherry sweet liquid poured from your mouth.

Soon the once pristine sheets were stained in haunting crimson shades as you heaved and he watched in agony. If only he had the ability of what he once had back then, if only he could plant the seeds of the flowers from yours to his then he would, if only he hadnt met you one autumn evening

" please dont look at me like that. " you told him, cold hands caressing his cheeks, catching the streams of salty warm beads that fell freely from your darling's amber eyes.

"Im sorry. Im so sorry..." the last thing you wanted to see was this man to cry. The last thing you wanted to see was to see him relive the past tragic memories you promised to bring him out of

" my disease has nothing to do with you. In the end it was mine alone to handle. oh, you are far from that so please dont you ever blame yourself."

"How can I not? If I havent fallen so deep then you would experienced so much more in life, you couldve been happier if you met someone else. Yet you chose me and I couldnt give you anything, I--. " the words knotted up as he began to shake, hands holding yours as knuckles turned to white

You slapped him.

With all the strength youve gathered in that fading body of yours. The sound cutting the grieving sounds that spilled from him, soul and flesh alike.

"A-li, look at me. Do I look like someone whose unsatisfied with what youve given me? Did my smile ever fade when Im with you? Did your affections ever lack? Answer me." his watery gaze met yours, a torrent of emotions swimming in them

"No. Never." a soft smile was carved unto your lips

"My dear, youve given me all Ive ever wanted in this life and I regret nothing of it."

To him, you were the flower that bloomed at the highest peak of the mountain he's never reached and yet its petals voluntarily detached and fell down, making him the happiest as one thing he's admired was untouchable and now, lay softly in the palm of his hands. To cherish and to protect.

But of course, all things are evanescent.

The familiar feeling of soreness that wasnt supposed to be there rose, ebbed and flowed through his throat. He knew it all too well, it was after he woke from his week long slumber did he feel it along with what his ancient beating heart felt.

"You collapsed." the worried words of the qixing echoed in his head. He frantically got up but as soon as his feet touched the floor did his legs give out underneath him, what use was he in this sorry state. He was helped up and sat back on the edge of the bed.

He wanted to ask many things yet was unable to.

Ningguang spoke as if you were still breathing and was visiting her minutes ago with another one of your tea blends. "Dont worry and rest first, go to jueyun karst after. They will be waiting."

To where the adepti resides, who as well, favored you, that one soul among thousands of others. One to which they shared a few good memories with was allowed to slumber there in peace.

Zhongli found himself waking up to the sun setting in the horizon. Just like how youve gone and resurfaced back into his memories. It was time.

He stood up from where he sat, gloved hands brushing any dirt that clung to him as he made his way to where you slept.

The red bean that was planted by himself still remained, a token of his love for you. Picking one bead and placing it inside the hollow dice he brought along, completing another one of the similar handicraft he's made every visit.

The sun finally died and the moon began its reign. The small wisps of light gathered around before him, forming a blurry image.

It was then he felt at ease, he saw you smiling at him with all there is in the world. Your light seemed to dim a little, hinting the blessing the adepti gave was slowly diminishing. Soon your visits would cease and you were sure that by the end of the power spent, he wouldve let go of the torment that plagued him.

"A-li. Have you been well?" he knew what you meant

"Im letting go slowly my dear. Perhaps in time, I would learn breathe easily once again."

Longest yet lol. Hope yall liked it ehehe

[urmomification]

SWAG ANOTHER DREAM SMP AU FIC IDEA THAT ILL NEVER WRITE POG

this is a very long post please im so sorry my brain it just

(tw for like slight possession n shit)

(sorry its all jumbled i write all of these in discord to my friend and copy paste them here please if u have questions ask me im always willing to talk abt this shit please it haunts me)

(context: i saw a tiktok abt the hc that both dream and techno are gods of some sort bc theyre mentioned in the tales of the smp by karl a time traveller and my brain just ran w it)

going back to the techno and dream are gods thing right so dream is a vessel for the god dream xd (??? work in progress youll know what im talking about at some point its really funny tho uve def seen clips of it) and he was possessed?? by the god after the server started (when he started going from super friendly with everyone to control/power hungry) when he started sacrificing everything for power so no one could have power over him? that was the god making him do it bc the god was terrified of not being in control since theyd lost it all to techno in their past. thats why we never see dream and techno fight and why we see dream extend help and support to him at times as well as respecting his boundaries and such bc theyre scared of techno (again w the best of 10 duel reference, techno killed the god in a past life which is why the god has been forced to use a human vessel to get anything done on the mortal plane) but when something that powerful spends pretty much any amount of time in something mortal and mundane like a person, the host body starts to change (hence the mask) i like to think that the god would be akin to that of a biblically correct angel?? like the ones w multiple eyes n shit yk so after time things start to happen to normal dreams body he gets extra sets of eyes and he gets taller and overall his body seems just Too Small for whatevers inside of him and thats why he (hc) started wearing the mask in the first place he knew something was wrong w him but he didnt want anyone to know even tho they would most likely help him he was ashamed that he was different in the first place so he started wearing the mask once the other eyes showed up. and i think that the god would talk to dream similarly to how technos voices work yk? except its just the one voice instead of many many small ones. and again with the mask thing when he lost to tommy and they took him in, part of his mask broke to the point where u could see just a bit of the right side of his face but enough to see that it Wasnt Right there were two eyes where there shouldve been one and spots on his cheeks bright enough to resemble stars and where the color of his pupil should have been is just a sickeningly neon green with nothing else behind it. so they let him keep the mask even tho they already know something is wrong but it clearly makes him Very Distressed when asked to remove the mask or told to give it up. blah blah blah god harassing its host bc it got them caught and thrown in a prison and dream goes ever so slightly insane having to share a mind and body with a literal ancient god w a vendetta against everything hes built whos forced him to sacrifice everything he loved and cared for out of fear yk the usual prison shit and then techno comes a long and breaks him out or whatever but on their way back to his house he drops a really cryptic line abt how 'its nice to see an old friend again' and 'i thought i got rid of u for good last time' and dream is just ???? what are u talking about?? weve never been friends and youve never gotten rid of me? what. until techno spins around and just 'im not talking to you im talking to the thing inside u' or whatever and dreams eyes flash some brilliant gold or sumn and boom this is ur fellow god speaking how may i help you and dream xd (that feels so wrong to say but) and techno bond or well ig just talk abt how the past centuries have gone and ig while xd is fronting (??? i think itd kinda be like DID in a sense w multiple people being able to front yk?) dream is in a sort of semi conscious state but still hears everything going on around his own body until hes thrown back into the drivers seat (i think that xd would only be able to front for short periods of time due to the vessel n shit that makes sense right) and hes so confused someone please help him hes just a dude who happened to get possessed by a god someone help him so when they finally get back to technos house he sits dream down and explains the best he can without literally melting dreams brain. which would also play into the 'technoblade never dies' bc hes. literally a god. mortals cant kill him unless they have idk some sort of super weapon idk and blah blah blah xd gets what they want and finally has the ability to leave finally leaving dream literally the shell of a man with no home friends materials or anything with techno to basically take care of him until he reaches some semblance of stability again (which would take ages, realistically (wdym realistically) going from normal, to a god sharing a body with you and speaking in you brain living as a single being together and hearing their thoughts, to back to normal but with all the memories of what you did and what they made you do and also no more god speaking in ur head it would take a hot sec to recover from) so he lives with techno (whos, not to mention, another god) for a while until he can fend for himself again and after a good year or so passes and no one hears from dream they start to look for him and see what happened bc he went from the biggest threat on the server to just. gone. no one knows where he went after whatever he did and they want closure. is he dead?? who knows. so george and sap set out looking for him and decide to ask techno for help since hes good w directions n shit also he was the last person to see dream alive so he might have an idea of where he is and they walk up to his house and knock on his door and techno opens it and just stares at them he knows who they are, dreams talked about them before but hes never met them really so he talks to them, getting through the polite hellos how are yous before sap finally asks 'do you know what happened to dream? no one knows where he went and we just want closure' techno huffs and tells them to wait there he (this is the basement door im using his arctic tundra house in my head) goes down the ladder to the second basement, they can hear him talking to multiple people (ranboo phil dream) but cant tell who everyone is before coming back up the ladder, back to the door. he tells them to wait outside he needs to get something first (its dream hes getting dream) theyre standing out by carls stable when the door creaks open and dream steps out looking around for who the fuck could possibly be looking for them he betrayed everyone and most people thought he was dead who could possibly be here asking for himself and not ranboo or philza and when he steps out, his green hoodie (memento made by ranboo to help him cope w the loss of the voice in his head) catching the morning light off the snow and he was happy and then he saw them standing by the house hed grown to call home at least for now he breaks. he missed them so so much it hurt. he never expected to see them ever again much less them come looking to see him but hes scared he realizes he doesnt know what to say there is nothing to say he fucked them all over he ruined everything and then hes being hugged. they missed him too. they dont forgive him jsut yet but they missed him and thats enough for him right now. the three of them stand there just being in each others presences and techno creaks the door open to make sure they arent trying to kill each other and sighs and leans against the frame smiling. hes happy again and thats the best he can do for him. he invites them all in and offers to explain everything to them to try and ease the blame off of dream bc in all honesty it was his fault but xd made it far far worse that it should have been (a bit late but foot note abt xd i think that they would be an idle god until someone w intense feelings of powerlessness and insecurity like awoke them from their techno induced slumber and inhabited dream to help him fulfill his desires for power and control) and by the time he and dream are finished its late at night and sap and george are ??? so u were possessed by a god who techno killed centuries ago in a duel and it amplified ur feelings of insecurity and ur thirst for control to the point of isolating urself from us and destroying everything everyone cared abt?? also technos an ancient god who lusts for bloodshed but also makes turtle farms in his free time?? are we getting this right????? and techno and dream are just yea thats abt it glad this all made sense then they all go to bed (its a small house dream has a lil shack like ranboos and sap and george somehow slept over there for the night) and in the morning sap and george leave again but promise to come back, they still arent ready to forgive and forget bc even tho it wasnt all his fault his emotions getting away from him is what caused this all in the first place so they do need time to process now that they know he isnt dead and dream continues to live near techno in almost full independence and eventually moves back with his friends even tho many still hate him. hes happy and for now thats enough. another foot note; even after xd leaves his being, he still has the extra eyes, glowy freckles n is xtra tall n shit that cant just be reversed but now that hes himself again these things take their tolls on human bodies so i think hed have something at least similar to arthritis bc of how his bones were literally manipulated bc of how strong ethereal magic or whatever is. so he would still wear the broken mask but he takes it off now and is ok with it being off hes working on getting better now that hes himself again and everyone living w/by techno is helping him with that. also i think that he would get blinks of xd's memories like from when techno was killing them and have sumn like ptsd panic attacks from it and techno feels super guilty abt it but theres literally nothing he can do except apologize and after the first few times dream stopped him from apologizing bc it is his fault but he didnt do it to him so it doesnt matter to dream at least and they live in pretty much harmony until dream finally moves back in w george and sap the end. he also started wearing the mask in the first place bc of the extra eyes but he played it off as being uncomfortable around new people and not wanting them to know what he looked like until he trusted them (bc that literally makes sense irl how funky is that) so sap and george never pushed him and when they caught him without it on on the rare occasion they wouldnt pressure him to leave it off or anything even tho they already knew what he looked like (when they respect ur boundaries </3) they just assumed that it was insecurity (it was but also mans had like 3 eyes so) and just left him alone

[fiftyshadesgrl]

Consumed part 9

(Y/n)'s pov

"Fuck yeah." He growled and thats all it took to turn me into a sex crazed maniac. I started unbuckling his belt as his hands gripped my hips under his flannel. His tongue battled with mine then soon made its way to my neck and collar bone.

"I couldve swore you had panties on last night when i dressed you." He growled against my neck.

I smiled, "i took them off before i left the bathroom."

I finally got his belt undone and pulled it from his belt loops with one quick move, it made a snap as it came loose. I threw it to the floor as he pushed his pants and boxers down enough for his erection to spring free.

I grabbed it and gave it two pumps before i positioned it at my entrance. I slid down onto him in one swift move, his dick stretching me til it was almost painful. I started rocking my hips fast, he groaned as he rested his head against my chest. "Damn it! Youre so fuckin tight baby."

He grabbed the flannel of his i was wearing and ripped it off. I could hear the couple buttons that was holding the shirt together scatter to the floor. He savagely decoured my breasts, sucking and nipping at one nipple and pinching the other.

"Yes dean!" I yelled as i rocked my hips faster. I could feel my orgasm building and i knew when it hit it was gonna hit hard. I yanked at his hair until his brought his lips to mine, then i leaned back and placed my hands behind me on his knees.

"Fucking hell baby, youre so damn hot." He said through gritted teeth. Both us were close, he licked those lips that ive missed for so long and thats all it took. My orgasm hit me hard like i knew it would, i kept trying to move my hips but i was shaking so hard i couldnt. So dean grabbed my hips and kept the rythym which made me cum that much more.

"Fuck baby. Im gonna fill you full." Then he was falling right off the edge with me. I came down from the ecstacy first as i felt his dick still moving and swuirting inside me, i circled my hips around and cradled his head against my breast until he was done.

Both of us a panting and sweaty mess, sat like that for a while until we caught our breath. His now semi hard member slid from inside me and i whined at the loss of the feeling. He looked up at me and i could see the love he had for me.

"Marry me." I gasped as he just stared at me.

"What?" I breathed out.

He smiled and pulled me closer to him. "Marry me."

"Dean..." i couldnt find the words to say. "What happened to going slow?"

"We can go slow, we can wait for as long as you want to get married. I just want to know that youll be mine and i wont lose you again." He wrapped his arms around my waist and laid his head back on my chest.

Running my fingers through his hair i contemplated on the thought of marrying dean. I still didnt fully trust him and the way i couldnt make him happy before. What if that happens again?

"What if i cant make you happy?" I whisper.

He meets my gaze with a confused one. "You did make me happy, you always have made me happy. So much that i started to see how bad i was for you. Thats why i did what i done, to make you see how much of a mess i was and for you to realize you deserve better."

"Dean, im a mess too. I have been through alot myself and i know what its like to feel like youre not good enough for anyone." I took a deep breath ready to tell dean everything but i just couldnt. I couldnt tell him what happened over a year ago, something i have lived with everyday. Something that haunts me everyday of my life.

"What if you change your mind? When you know everything about me, about my past. What if you dont want me anymore." I whisper, he places his fingers under my chin and made me look up at him.

"Nothing in this world could ever make me change my mind. Youre my everything, my other half. Youre my soulmate." Dean smiled and i couldnt help but smile back.

"Okay." I nodded, he sat back and looked in my eyes.

"Okay what?" His tone was cautious.

"Ill marry you." I say, he smiles and hoots as he stands up with me still in his arms and twirls us around. I giggle as he kisses my face all over.

"You have no idea how happy youve made me." He said as he set me down on the floor. Just then we heard the front door shut and shuffling in the living room. "That must be sammy. Im gonna grab a quick shower right quick then we will get some breakfast." He placed a kiss on my lips then zipped his pants back up leaving the button undone and no shirt. He grabbed his belt from the floor and i couldnt help that i wanted round 2 right then and there.

"Baby, dont look at me like that or i may just have to fuck your brains out right now." His gravely voice sensing chills down my spine.

I licked my lips and picked up his t shirt he left on the floor and removed the flannel and replaced it with the shirt. "Later." I whisper.

He nods, he motions to me with his belt in his hand, "do me a favor and put some shorts on." He winks then leaves the room. Deans shirt is down almost to the tops of my knees, if im careful enough he will never know, until i want him to.

I tie my hair up in a messy bun and make my way towards the kitchen to start breakfast. Sam is laying on the air mattress in the living room, his hair is a mess and he looks like he hadnt slept all night.

"Rough night?" I ask him, he opens one eye and looks at me then grunts and closes it again.

"Well if you hadnt have stayed out tom catting all night you wouldve had some sleep." I laugh as he throws a pillow at me but misses. "Breakfast will be ready in a few and coffee will be ready in five."

@an-unhealthy-obsession @vicmc624 @tftumblin @holylulusworld @justanotherwinchester

[thedashingmrnott]

Pale eyes rimmed in shadow stare forward. Their gaze, his gaze, never wavers from you. As the flicker of candlelight at your hand dances, the shadows about the eyes transform and transmogrify; at once maddeningly hysteric, and depravenly menacing. As the light settles, so do the shadows, into a familiar countenance of melancholy. Ho, that familiarity, so startling in its similarities to your mother drags upon your soul like a heavy, iron mask. The gaze breaks, and it is as if a tether to some safe balcony above has snapped, and your eyes plummet back to the page before you; yellowed and hazy in the dim light but oh so clear of statement.

'my star has died, and the world is a little darker for it.'

Not your words, but someone you knew, an relative, now among the ashes. Algernon, your mother's doting old granduncle, his handwriting now as familiar as your own sweeps your mind away in a haze.

'After the funeral, we performed the seance as she had wished; but her husband declined the invitation. He detested the idea, i think, to the detriment of himself. Afterward he swore off my families involvement with his son, for which I will be quite remiss... It was not an especially long seance, for which I am grateful; My eyes have not shed so many tears I scarcely can see the page on which i write. She stayed just long enough to ask to see her son, and when it was apparent he was not there to see her, she bade us her love and that It had been worth It, to suffer so, and die, so that her son could live.' The journal begins to recount the whole event in detail, but you do not go on.

There, so it is written. You are not at fault.

A meek, young voice echoes about the room as if from the back corner, "Then why do I not feel any different."

But you do, I can see it, we. Can see it. It is plain upon your brow. You do not feel different because you are still sad, but there is a nervousness too. Your gaze drifts back to the mirror to confirm this, and beads of sweat dot your forehead. You smooth your hair out of your eyes with a tremoring hand. Yes, an excitement, such an old friend excitement; something you had missed dearly, ever since Adeline. Your eyes dart over your shoulder reflexively at the spot youve come to know as my home, just past your left shoulder, in that spot your eyes can never reach. Yes Theodore, Adeline. You want to tell her? You want to speak to her about it, perhaps she if anyone, can decode this murder of gusting emotions in your mind.

"We do not speak about her" Cries the little voice, now easier to pick out now that the candle has gone dim. He sits, hides more like, in the back corner to the right. That whipping boy, you. your eyes can find the apparition easily, though that half of the room is not but umbral emptiness. "She hurt us, being near her-"

REMINDS YOU OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HAPPY. she reminds you that you are not so different from others as you think. She reminds you that there is something more than to be accepted, but to be...

Understood.

What else, if anything, is more important than being understood?

"Being safe?"

We were safe in our beds at night until father came. We were safe only until we were not safe, therefore, we are never safe. There is no such thing as being safe from harm, only the inevitability of pain. You turn back to the desk, pick up the journal and run your tired, shaking hands over the leather. You can feel your legs compel you, a need like the jerk of a flu jump pulling you out of this room, but there in front of the door sits the boy. The whipping boy.

"What If she wont talk to us." You watch him cross his arms over his knees and wipe his tears on his dirty sleeping jacket. "What if we waited too long, and she wont forgive us like father?" No words leave your lips, and no words drift from over your shoulder, the choir is quiet. Emboldened, and scarred, the boy stands with his shoulders hunched, his head lowered like that of a wild dog. His empty, vorpal eye sockets spiraling in shadows like cobwebs down a sink drain. your gaze cannot pull from his. "She is hurt by us, we hurt things, we hurt mommy even if the kind old man said so. He lied, she screamed for our death at the end of hers." The whipping boy looms in front of the doorway now, his form contorting to fill the nightmare around him. Long tendrils run from his arms, ruby red, his hair drapes down like moss over a grave and his eyes fill the space of the room like imploding suns. "Father was right." Bellows the voice of fear "we are not worth understanding, all we want is the attention. All we want is-" tears roll down your cheeks, or are you bleeding. "-to slowly steal the happiness from someone else, while their life comes crashing to an end in misery-" All you can see around you are those empty eyes, in them a million tiny eyeballs watch, glassy, dead. "-and hopelessness." No no no no no no "You just want to suck the life out of that girl, just like you did mother."

You open your eyes and see pages before you. You sit up sharply, your back cracks with the effort of having slept at your desk and your eyes meet. YOUR FATHERS.

No, just your own in the mirror. Just yours, and noone elses. you quickly look behind you, and around the whole room, never leaving the desk. Empty. It is only you in the room, and at the thought 'only' you swear there is a tittering of amusement.

You turn back to the journal, and remembering you nightmare, and the words taht had started it you carefully close the book. You think to yourself, addie would understand. And the thought kicks you, like some old sin come to haunt you. Addie would read it and know how important it is, and might know just the right password to say to make the whole thing easier to handle. Addie would understand. You feel a nervousness, a creeping feeling of being watched come from over your shoulder an look around. You know that such thoughts, thoughts of her, are safer outside. The dark is so much easier to ignore when you are far from your bedroom.

Hastily you gather your things and exit the room, dodging about through the predawn hours of the slytherin common room and up into the school proper.

* * * * *

Outside the dungeon, within the close proximity of other students and their busy conversations you feel... less on guard, more relaxed. Loneliness, as you know, is an artful Adversary. You exit the school, coming out on the great terrace overlooked by the divinations tower. A smattering of students play and talk in the light snowdrifts, some on benches some crossing the bridge towards hogsmead. You walk to the railing, under an archway and breath deeply of the cold, shocking air. The cold is bothersome, but the crispness of the air is astoundingly better than the rank moisture of the dungeon and all its unpleasant residents, students not included. You think to yourself that should you ever get the chance to live anywhere, it will be somewhere temperate, and wholely without basements.

Someone calls your name, and your mind searches for a person to relate it to. You look, and see Theo walking over, maggie and ginny not far behind; all dressed for a day out of school. "feeling alright mate? You look paler than usual."

You smile out of reflex and quip "how many shades of white out of the norm?"

He takes your smile for humor, mistaking droll for good-naturedly. "At least ivory, if not downright porcelain. You sleep alright?"

The other two approached finally. "The sleep was fine, the consequences not quite so much."

"Heyya nosferatu. Hows it hangin buddy?" Maggie piped.

"Who is nosferatu? A painter?" You ask, unconcerned. She liked her nicknames but the thought behind them was always cunningly devised.

"a vampire, a cool one. not pretty or anything."

Theo lays his hand on his breast pocket, giving a minor theatrical tone "Theodore, not pretty? I shudder to think it." He changed stance to tug at his non-existent beard. "A vampire though, interesting...Yep, I can see it."

Ginny laughed as well, so you make a small chuckle and shrug with the commitment of a particularly flighty ferret. "I fit the description at least, if not the legend." You look about, noticing the groups sudden shift from humor to awkwardness. "I am afraid I cannot join you today, do have fun without me." They look between themselves.

"Got somewhere to be?" Asks maggie, who actually searches your person with her eyes for clues rather than expecting an answer.

"Yes, a club meeting for chess. Puddlemere has laid out some new tactics on spell-proofing division boards, quite serious I am loathe to say." the eye rolling that followed that calculated line could have been the effects of a curse. You toss theo a galleon and as you stalk off towards the dueling club you call back "Have some on me."

* * * * *

She is marvelous isn't she? You can see how she sizes each one up, all her mental notes coming to bare as soon as the sign is given to begin. Her eyes dart to the lead leg, checking for a faint. She then focuses on the eyes and predicts their first spell, knocks it away and ends with a quick decisive disarm. You cannot help but watch her, despite the warnings over your shoulder. Somethings gotten ahold of you, maybe it was the bit of rest from the nightmare, or something subconscious from the journal but ever since you've gotten back you haven't felt yourself. You feel like someone else, watching second hand from just behind your eyes; but that detachment is reasuring, not scary. It lets you look up at Adeline without that little voice making you look away. You watch as she spars for an hour, hair getting messy and eyes always sharp, before the club ends. As they break, she catches sight of you and you cannot quite make out the expression but nevertheless it makes your ribs ache with nerves. Her will has always shown through her eyes, and it is a wrathful will. So when she stalks towards you, you suddenly feel fear creep up your scalp. Not the kind from the nightmare, something hotter, and more unnerving. She stares at you as she approaches, and then suddenly looks away, slams one foot on the seat of the table next to you and begins unlacing her dueling boots. You realize her things are set just next to you and you feel a fool for just a moment, before swallowing hard and in a voice altogether different from the whipping boy, you hear as if beside you-

"I want to talk to you, It is important."

She turns, a tempestuous look in her eye that tells you just what she thinks of you wanting something from her.

"It is hard even to ask, will you?"

She narrows her eyes, and turns back to unlacing her boots. She efficiently changes into a more comfortable supple leather boots, and removes her arming vest. She packs up her things and walks off headlong for the far door. You stand for a moment, unsure, until she waits by the door and looks back with what you beside recognize is a look of control. You follow her out.

* * * * *

You sit across from her, not quite as shes a seat over, like she wants to be a bit removed. The slow lunch of saturday afternoon gives ample space to talk without others listening, but enough of an excuse that you two are not alone.

"What" Is all she says, her tone measured. It's solemnity and lack of interest strike at you like a knife.

You take a moment to look around, to glance over your shoulder, to search for the choir; you like that name, it gives them gravitas. You are alone, at least, in your own mind. "I am sorry if you heard me talking to Goliath, It was about a nightma-" She starts to get up, you panic. "I am afraid you'll end up like her." She pauses, and her face starts to scowl at you in contempt. "That, somehow, I will conspire to hurt you, by no real means to do so."

She stands now, more out of indignation than any perceived want to leave. "Why the hell would you think that?" She has much more to say, I could see her grab onto it and hold it back.

"I- I don't know. Something my father always said. I thought he was right." She weighed my words carefully, and sat down but her mood did not abate.

"Thought? as In past tense. What changed nearly a year of avoiding me for your new friends?" The comment was light, almost conversational, that made it hurt worse.

"I inherited something, a couple of journals from an old family member. They-"

"And they just suddenly cleared your fucked up way of thinking?" of leaving people behind. The words were there, if not said.

You look up at her, force that look in the mirror, that memory of the lake at night and the ice breaking. "Yes."

The answer must've thrown her off, she looks at you incredulously. She wants to know how, but wants to be mad at the same time. Justifiably so, why shouldn't she be mad. You did leave her for nearly a year alone, at the worst possible time. "How."

You take out the journal and open it to the page you left it on the nightmare and slide it across. She reads the lines quickly and the flips the page. You pause your breath as she then turns the page. She reads on, growing still, and glances up at you once. "Who wrote this." She asks you.

"My great granduncle, it sounds archaic but he died...two years ago." She closes the book and pushes it towards you and briefly you both are holding it and a kind of internal whine of anxiety goes off in your head.

"Assuming I want to continue talking to you, why tell me?" She finally says to you after a minutes dead silence. She scrutinizes the table before looking up, expecting a decent answer.

"You would understand, no one else would."