#yuta fic

[rrxnjun]

i felt younger when we met | n. yuta

nakamoto yuta was your hero. as the lead singer of the rising punk band takes you along with him on his journey to stardom, you realize that you never knew heartbreak could taste so sweet.

PAIRING: nakamoto yuta x fem! reader STARRING: lead singer! yuta, guitarist! doyoung, bassist! johnny, drummer! mark GENRE: rockstar au, band au. angst, suggestive. WC: 17k (17.630) WARNINGS: age gap, mentions of alcohol, weed and hard drugs, yuta and his band actually played the warped tour (canon!) pls somebody tell me yall get the reference, cheating and breaking up

PLAYLIST: honey - l'arc en ciel ; i felt younger when we met - waterparks ; your power - billie eilish ; motion sickness - phoebe bridgers ; guys my age - hey violet ; praha/vídeň - calin ; drugs - cheridomingo

A/N: oh yall are gonna HAATE this one. thank you arden @zhongriot for brainstorming with me about this it was greatly appreciated <3 growing up is realizing doyoung was actually the only decent one and that jaechan was right. also the original title of this wip was honey so sweet bc of the honey cover just so yall know lol

I. honey, so sweet

The last few tones of a G chord resonate through the garage, the platinum blond’s raspy voice fading out into silence as you watch the band in front of you with stars in your eyes, breathless and with your ears ringing only slightly due to the noise that’s been happening for quite some time now. Feeling yourself clap and squeal at the little show you just finished watching, you’re brought up to your feet as you jump around enthusiastically, the sound of the thick sole of your boot against the ground waking you up only slightly from the weird state of euphoria you’ve been in until now. 

You’ve known Yuta for quite some time now, but this was the first time he let you watch his band practice. Everything you’ve known about the music he plays was through the headphones sneakily passed to you when you had a night shift at the diner, or from the voice memos he’d send you very early on in the morning when you were supposed to be asleep, and everything you’ve known about his band members was through his words shared in the comfort of his car seats or the benches in the park. You’ve seen Mark once before, when he had late dinner with Yuta while you were working at the diner downtown, but your interaction didn’t go further than a polite greeting and a boyish grin sent your way from the charming drummer. 

It’s only natural that everything about the late night feels ecstatic to you now. The tones of electric guitars and the rhythm of the drums making your heart beat faster than before, Yuta’s sharp, yet hearty vocals calling to you like sirens in the middle of the ocean. Tonight’s one of the few nights you don’t have night shift at the diner– since you usually take all Friday night ones; you get paid more for them and with your schedule at school, you can’t afford to work more night shifts throughout the week– and Yuta took that as an opportunity to invite you over to his garage to listen to his band play. The lead singer made eye contact with you throughout each song, and you felt yourself flush at the thought that the words coming out of his mouth might have been addressed to you, written about you, adrenaline soaring freely through your veins. 

“That was amazing! Wow, like,” you throw your hands up, at a loss for words, “I literally couldn’t believe my ears.”

“You expected less of me, babe?” Yuta grins at you from his place at the microphone stand, taking a step back from the device to put away the guitar hanging around his neck. You watch his movements intensively, eyes scanning the outline of his biceps and the loose hems of his jet black shirt, the platinum white hair falling into his eyes. “I thought you already knew what we were made of when I let you listen to our songs back then.”

“Well,” you sheepishly hum, “it’s different to hear it live.”

The singer snickers, shrugging to himself. “Told you to prepare yourself.”

“I don’t think I could even if I tried,” you compliment the man, eyes watching the rest of the band as they put their respective instruments away. And again, you don’t know these men that well– you’re not as familiar with them as you are with their frontman, since you haven’t spent much time around them just yet– but there’s something joyful in the bassist, Johnny’s smile when he meets your eye before he puts away his guitar into its dark blue case. 

Their band– Neo zone– consists of four members. Yuta, your friend, plays the guitar and sings. He’s the frontman of the group and also the person that founded the band; at least that’s what he told you. He met Johnny at college– both of them majoring in Finance before they decided to drop out in their sophomore year– and soon after, he recruited his friend to be the bassist for his band. The two of them met Doyoung, their lead guitarist, at a concert of an underground band some years ago through a mutual friend Taeyong, and they all hit it off so well that when the thought of a band first came to light, Yuta wasted no time in chatting up the charming male for the position. And lastly, their drummer Mark– he was the youngest of them all, the most quiet one, and from what Yuta told you, he met the man through his younger brother. The two of them were friends at college, so Mark spent a lot of time over at Yuta’s house, and he knew that the male could play the drums– so after a casual conversation over a beer one evening, here they were.

“I’m heading home,” says the drummer, waving at the rest of the group, “I have a thing I’m supposed to attend with Jaehyun today.”

“Aight,” Yuta hums, nodding, “good job today, Markie. See you next week!”

The male disappears out of the rusty garage in no time, and with him follows the tall one– Johnny– saying he has a morning shift at the store he works at tomorrow, excusing himself out of the after-practice hangout. That leaves only you, Yuta and Doyoung in the room, and while you’d like to get to know his friends and bandmates better, you’d be more satisfied if either all of them stayed behind, or if the only one who stayed was anyone but the lead guitarist.

See, you don’t know Kim Doyoung that well. All you know about him is that he’s a year younger than Yuta and that he’s painfully good at what he does. You also know that he has a sharp jawline and even sharper eyes, which he gladly lands on you whenever he hears you talk, and that motion makes you self-conscious and insecure on most instances. He also has a sharp tongue, which you learned not that long after being first introduced to him this afternoon, and while you don’t know what you did to get on the man’s nerves so much, you figured it’s for the best to interact with him as least as humanly possible if you wanted to spare your feelings and not get yourself hurt.

“Today was good, but try getting over the last song on your own again,” Doyoung offers to his friend, watching him with cold eyes. Yuta makes his way around the room and takes a seat next to you on the dusty, maroon sofa, his legs spreading wide making your eyes drift towards his lean figure. You watch the exchange silently, picking at the skin of your cuticles anxiously, hoping for it to be over quickly.

“The Departure?” Yuta assures himself.

Doyoung nods as he hides his guitar into his case as well, handling the instrument with utmost care. “You went a little off-beat in the last part.”

“Got it, chief,” Yuta jokes, saluting the man, a lazy grin overtaking his features. “Wanna grab a beer and stay over for a bit?” he asks, the question making your insides heaten up with anticipation, stinging a bit of an anxious fear.

It’s almost as if the guitarist feels that you’re afraid of his presence– it’s not like he scares you, to be exact, you’re just slightly intimidated by the serpent-like male– as he meets your eye before he turns towards the frontman. “Nah,” he shrugs, “I’m good. Maybe next time,” he adds, taking the guitar case off the ground and heading towards the door.

“Whatever floats your boat.”

“Try not to fuck the kid on the couch, right? We sit there sometimes,” Doyoung snickers before he’s off, his raven bangs bouncing up and down when he skips out of the old-smelling garage. The remark stings you a bit, the harsh words, although you hate to admit it, feel like salt thrown into a fresh wound, having you chew on the inside of your cheek as you listen to the door close behind the male, leaving you alone with Yuta.

The male next to you clears his throat, easing the tension in your muscles when you look up at him and see him smiling softly at you, a twinkle in his eye. “What?” he asks you, sensing that you’re feeling a little down.

“It’s- it’s nothing,” you nod to yourself, not really wanting to be as vulnerable in front of your friend. You treasure Yuta more than anyone else, since you always somehow feel like your souls are connected on a level you haven’t felt with no one your whole life, but sometimes, you feel a bit shameful to admit to your worries in front of him. To the male, the world is his sea, his place that he swims through with passion and enthusiasm. He doesn’t seem like the type of person to worry about what your friends would think of him, no matter how bad it could be. He doesn’t seem like the type of person that would understand you if you worded your anxious feelings out loud, the type of person who’d reassure you without making you feel foolish. 

Still, somehow, he sees right through you. “Don’t worry about Doyoung. He’s got a stick up his butt on most days, it’s nothing to have with you,” he says, offering you the gentlest of smiles, poking your cheek a little when he sees you pout.

You heave out a sigh, but offer the man a loop-sided smile– the kind you fake, but hope the receiving side is satisfied– watching him as he scoots closer to you and puts an arm around your shoulder. The scent of his cologne hits your nose and you feel yourself easing into him, the gesture somehow protective and affectionate in your eyes, but the proximity still makes your heart thump fast against your ribcage. Taking a shaky breath through your nose, you find yourself staring intensely at his face.

“So you’re saying you enjoyed hearing us play?” he asks you, tone of voice kitten-like, yearning for praise. He sounds coy, confident, but still searches for hearing you say it out loud. Sometimes you think he enjoys listening to you talk about him. It makes him feel good when you flutter your eyelashes at the male in the middle of the diner and tell him you love the way he sings, it makes his ego grow when you gasp at all the right parts and compliment the lyrics in the chorus. And you don’t think it’s a bad thing– you think you’d do the same if you were in his shoes.

Hushed voice, you nod eagerly, grinning. “Yeah,” you agree. “I also enjoyed seeing you play,” you muse, watching as the satisfied look on Yuta’s face grows and his excited eyes gleam with more intensity. 

“Did you?” he teases, head ducking closer to you, the proximity making your breathing catch in your throat. You bet he knows about the effect he has on you by now– you bet he realizes that each time he talks to you with that tone, the flirty hint of it in his voice, you feel weak in your knees, ready to fold for him. You bet he is aware of the fact that you watch him all the time, eyes glued to his confident figure, amazed at the way he moves around the garage with his guitar, tinted with a hint of jealousy when the girls that go eat at the diner at the same time he visits you on your night shifts ogle him and he sends some a shameless wink. You’re almost sure he knows about the dreams you have of him at night, about the fact that you fantasize about him writing songs for you and singing them on stage, letting the world know that your feelings might be reciprocated. 

The idea makes you cave in on yourself. “Yeah,” you breathe out, feeling heat rising to the tips of your ears. 

“That’s good,” he hums, “wanna hear a little secret?” he asks, eyeing you with a glimmer in his eye. You hum in response, eager to be let in on the confidential information. “I wrote the last song about you,” he whispers. “Maybe I’ll release it one day.”

The sentence startles you, the comment makes all sorts of warm gold sprawl around your stomach, the tips of your ears burning and the nerve endings on your fingers tingling from excitement. “Really?” you gasp. You never imagined having a song written about you. You never imagined someone caring enough– never imagined having someone sing to you, about you. Sure, you fantasized about it happening, almost a little foolishly and childishly, but you never once dared to think of the fantasy as true.

Yuta laughs at your composure. You bet you look small in his eyes. “What? Are you shy about it, pretty girl?” 

“No,” you peep, averting your gaze from him and aimlessly searching through your surroundings, watching the unmoving garage. Your eyes glue to the white wall in front of you, ignoring the fact that Yuta’s face is only an inch away from yours, your hands now clammy as you rest them in your lap.

“It seems that you are,” he grins, “you don’t have to be, though,” he notes, a finger hooking around the bottom of your chin, a gentle hold making you turn your face towards him, eyes locking in a dangerous blink. 

Gaping, not breaking eye contact– too afraid to break the spark– you wait for what’s about to come, welcoming it with open arms. The air around you gets thicker and the silence becomes overbearing, you find yourself counting each white strand that falls into his eyes, when the male leans in to you, the sudden shift making your eyes flutter close on themselves.

It happens, the moment you’ve been dreaming about; the moment you’ve wanted to experience ever since you first met the male, all real and only yours to live over and over in your memories– Yuta kisses you, gently at first, lips playing with yours in a way that makes the soft sense of nervousness flutter like butterfly wings in your stomach. Your shy hands grip the front of his shirt when he deepens the kiss, makes it more firm and urgent, teeth clashing against each other in the messy cacophony of your souls, a sound of a heavy breath flying into your ear as the male grips your jaw and angles your face the way he wants it to, testing the waters with a bit of tongue.

You invite him in, parting your lips and letting him explore, letting him win the battle for dominance– not that you even wanted to be the one in charge in the first place– and although you feel a little overwhelmed, a bit too lost in the moment, you find yourself moving from your place and straddling his lap, the hands that were once cradling your face falling off and gripping your hips, keeping you right where you are. 

When you feel your lungs being knocked out of all oxygen, you pull away from the male, eyes locking with his swollen lips, and you feel a bit satisfied with yourself– having him like this, eyes blown-out and staring at you like you were the only thing in the whole entire universe that mattered right in this moment. There’s something about the wrinkles on his shirt from how you’ve been gripping on it, about his flushed cheeks, that makes you feel proud of yourself. You did this to him, you smile, you are the reason why he looks like this.

Pressing your forehead against his, eyes still staring into his deep, dark orbs, the singer breaks out into a boyish grin, shaking his head in disbelief, wanting to bring himself back to the present moment. “So I’ll take it as my pretty girl will come watch me play more often, right?” he hums.

A fluttery feeling erupts in your chest, warmth spreading all the way to the tips of your fingertips. “Your pretty girl?” you ask.

Yuta nods, snickering to himself. “My pretty girl,” he mumbles, and before you get a chance for a rebuttal, he pulls away an inch, cradling his neck up to press a peck to the middle of your forehead. 

The adrenaline, the smell of his cologne, the excitement seeping right through you and to the space all around– you never knew Yuta would taste this good. You never knew he could taste this sweet.

II. the rush of adrenaline, I'm not scared to jump in

The smell of burned oil and grease fills your nose as you make your way through the kitchen, figure skipping through the whole diner in irregular intervals during yet another one of your Friday night shifts. Taking the plate filled with chicken nuggets, potatoes and ranch dressing, you offer a quick smile to your coworker Jaechan as you walk out of the back, ready to serve the food to one of your regulars. 

As you finally get out of the heated and humid place, back to the main dining area that has air conditioning on, your eyes catch with a certain someone waiting for you at the pult, a grin settling onto his features when you light up at noticing his presence.

“I’ll be right with you,” you say to him as you pass his body and walk over to one of the tables in the corner of the room, smiling at your customer when you give him the plate. Your steps are lighter and more enthusiastic when you get back to Yuta sitting at one of the tall stools, his face still adorned with a soft smile. The male watches you as you work, and you feel warmth envelope your insides. 

“Weren’t you supposed to have practice tonight?” you ask him, settling behind the pult. There aren’t many people in the diner right now, and the work during the night is slow– you kind of despise the fact that you’re open 24/7, but that’s what you get for working at a diner– so there’s no issue in you chatting away with your friends that come visit when you have the time. You always make sure to do your job well and put the customers first, so your boss never really complained. 

“It’s over already,” he says, “we got over the songs quite quickly,” he notes, seeing you nod and smile at his response.

“That’s good,” you say, “I’m glad. Do you want something? Fries? Coke? On the house, obviously,” you grin, making the man eagerly nod to your question, eyes lit up in joy.

“Just a glass of coke is fine,” he says. 

You turn away from him for a mere second, taking one of the clean glasses to your hand and then walking a few steps to the right where the coolers are, taking out a glass bottle of Coca-Cola. Offering the drink back to your boyfriend, you watch him as he pours the black liquid into the tall glass, the two of you enveloped in a comfortable silence. The diner doesn’t play music after 10 PM, and somehow, you’re glad. It gets kind of annoying to listen to the same few songs on loop the whole night– because the speaker system is old and doesn’t have an AUX input, you have to listen to the same 3 CDs over and over again the whole year– and so whenever Yuta comes to visit you during your night shifts, the silence only adds to your sense of intimacy and comfort with the man.

“Was Doyoung less snappy today?” you ask, watching the male grin and shake his head at your question.

“A bit,” he admits, “not too much, though. Don’t know what’s gotten into him lately, but he’s been a real bitch.”

You hum at his response, eyes tracing his features. “Maybe he’s stressed about something,” you propose, and you don’t really put much meaning into your own words– you don’t know the man enough to know how he reacts under pressure, nor do you really care– but the man in front of you only squints his eyes in thought, shrugging.

“Could be it,” he agrees, “I mean, there’s a lot happening with the band right now, so it would be only natural,” he says, making you furrow your brows at him in question. You weren’t aware of anything big happening– maybe the news were recent, you didn’t know, but judging by the fact that you’re pretty updated on things concerning the band, you wouldn’t be surprised if they were. 

“What do you mean?” you ask, folding your hands at your chest and leaning on the counter, your face now closer to Yuta’s– god, you’ll never get used to just how beautiful this man is in your poor eyes.

The singer grins to himself, acting innocent. “Just… some stuff,” he says.

“What is it?” you ask again, this time with a coat of persistence in your voice. You don’t want to say it out loud, but you’re getting kind of worried– Yuta doesn’t usually hide things from you. Hell, you’d even go as far as saying that you are the first person he comes to when something happens, no matter if it’s good or bad, and with the suspicious way he’s acting right now, your mind can’t help but wander.

“Nothing,” he peeps, taking a sip out of his glass, making you sigh and roll your eyes at the male. You point your finger to the middle of his forehead, poking him– his head lulls backwards a little, making you heave out a soft giggle– before you squint at him in annoyance.

“Come on,” you huff, “you’re not gonna tell me?” you pout, mastering your best attempt at puppy eyes– something inside of you tells you that no matter how stubborn Yuta is, he’s kind of weak for you when you look at him like that– and the man only snickers at you as he shakes his head in disbelief.

“I will,” he admits, smiling at you. The gesture has you soften a bit, your muscles losing their previous tension, because come on– if he’s smiling at you like that, there’s no way the news could be bad– but before you get a chance to pry him about it, the ring above the door makes a sound and your eyes trace the figures of two girls, both a bit older than you, smiling at someone in particular.

And that someone isn’t you– of course, why would anyone smile at their server, am I right? – that someone is Nakamoto Yuta, the man sitting in front of you, and you’re already familiar enough with the two girls to know what’s about to happen next. 

See, you are aware that Yuta is attractive. Hell, you blushed under his gaze when you met him in this diner for the very first time, his hair back then raven black, falling into his eyes. You’re painfully aware of the fact that you’re not the only one who finds him beautiful, but there’s something about the very obvious gazes and giggles the girls who frequent the diner send to him that has your stomach turn, making you see red and feel very obvious green, and no matter what you do or try to tell to yourself, you can’t battle the feeling out of your veins.

The scenario is one you’ve seen before– the girls giggle out as they arrive, sharing a knowing look, before they pass the pult you two are standing behind, sending very obvious looks to Yuta as they reach for the table in the corner. They greet him with their soft, honey voices, they say “Hi Yuta!”, because he’s known around the town– everybody knows the name of the rising band’s lead singer, everybody wants to take a glimpse of him, shoot him a flirtatious smile, because once he makes it big, you can tell yourself you knew him, he knew you, he looked at you and said hi back. Yuta looks at them and grins, sends them a wink, greets them with his raspy voice that says “Hi ladies,”, and it makes your stomach growl, it makes your gaze harden, but most importantly, you feel acid on your tongue when the man in front of you sends them his usual wink.

Clearing your throat as all goes exactly how you remember and expect it to go, you watch as Yuta looks back at you with an innocent smile, not really minding that he told you you were his pretty girl just last week, not really caring that now, his actions have very different consequences. Back when you were uselessly pining over him, you knew your jealousy was foolish– you didn’t really have a reason to feel possessive over the man, because he was very clearly single. Now, things have changed, though, and you kind of expected his behavior to alter around the girls– the girls that are a few years older than you, a few inches taller than you, a bit more mature and a bit more pretty.

“Something’s wrong?” he asks you, face coy and feline-like. You glare at him, knowing he’s aware of what you’re implying, but still, he does nothing to apologize as he only giggles at you and leans in, pecking your lips. 

“Everything’s peachy,” you mumble, shaking your head as you take the menus from the counter, ready to serve the customers. 

As you’re about to exit the pult and pass your boyfriend, he grabs your wrist and spins you so you face him, making you watch as he downs the last remains of the Coke in his drink, offering you another smile. “I’m gonna get something at the gas station real quick,” he muses, “I’ll wait for you in my car after you get off?” 

Sighing, still acting a bit annoyed at his behavior– but knowing, sensing that you already forgave him the moment he spared you a single glance– you nod. The male pulls you closer to him, sending another kiss, this time firmer, to your lips, and if he wasn’t in control of the situation, you know you’d get too lost in the moment, too distracted to do your job– but before you know it, he leans away and stands up from the tall chair, pats your bottom and walks over to the front door.

Watching as he disappears behind the glass, laughing to yourself when he waves at you and blows you a kiss, you shake your head as you walk over to the table with the two girls sitting at it, their mood not as bright as it was before, and with a victorious smirk, you realize, with a hint of joy in your heart, that they’ve been watching the exchange.

The singer waits for you in the parking lot, his figure leaning on the 2007 Volkswagen golf he sometimes drives you home in, and although it’s already 4:45 AM (your shift ends at 4:30, but you have to count up the register and change before you go), you find yourself walking over to him with a pep in your step. The platinum white falls into his eyes as he grins at you, reaching his arms out once you’re close enough, pulling you into a hug. 

You and Yuta never really hugged much. You can’t say you dislike the change. 

“How was the rest of the shift?” he mumbles into your hair, holding you close to his chest. His arms feel almost possessive, making you feel secure, and something about the whiff you get of his cologne makes your head spin a little when he lets go, watching you as you walk over to the passenger’s side and get into his car.

“It was okay,” you admit, shrugging, “not busy.”

“That’s good to hear,” he nods, getting in as well and fastening his seatbelt, putting the car into reverse and slowly driving out of the parking lot. The radio is turned off at this hour– a thing that rarely happens in Yuta’s car, because he always has to have music playing in the background of his life– and the silence envelopes you in an intimate, comforting atmosphere.

Hence, why you ask the crucial question that’s been bugging you the whole night. “What did you want to talk about earlier?” you mumble, the tone of your voice light and coated with tiredness. You’ve been up the whole day, since you have classes in the mornings, but now that you know there’s something Yuta’s been keeping away from you, you know you wouldn’t be able to fall asleep even if you tried, overthinking making your mind too busy to lull you into the dreamland.

“Are you up for a drive? I’ll tell you and then drop you off at dorms,” he asks, eyes locking with yours for a split second before he focuses back on the road.

Humming, you agree with his idea. You give him some time while he takes the turn that goes out of the city and towards the ring road, tracing his actions with your hazy, half-asleep eyes. The car takes a steady speed, one that’s neither alarming nor too slow, and Yuta’s palm easily takes a hold of your thigh, the steering wheel now being operated with only one of his arms. The affectionate action makes you feel heat in the tips of your ears and on the highest parts of your cheekbones, gaze shifting away from the male next to you towards the empty road. Everything about the things you’ve been dreaming about– the subtle touches, the glances, the pet names– makes you shy away from the man. It’s not that you don’t enjoy it, you would be a liar if you said you didn’t, but still– the novelty of it all still surprises you, keeps you on your feet.

“So,” he starts, clearing his throat a bit before proceeding, “you know how I told you we now practice more often than we used to?” he asks, eyes peering at you with expectation, waiting for you to answer. You offer him a tired hum, too sleepy to really master up anything else, and when it reaches his ears, he takes it as his lead to continue.

“Well, it was for a reason… at our last gig, there were some scouting people, or whatever you call it… and I didn’t tell you before, because it wasn’t certain and I also don’t really know how these things go– y’know, that’s Doyoung’s thing, sorta– and I also didn’t wanna sound silly if things didn’t work out,” he explains, deep voice resonating through the low hum of the engine, keeping you awake, “but things did work out and we got signed to a label.”

Yuta gives you a minute to process the information. He doesn’t say anything for a bit, only waiting for you to reply back to him– to react, in any way, really– and when he doesn’t get any words out of you, he looks at you with a look so fragilely expecting that you almost want to coo at the male and hold him in your arms, tell him you’re just as excited as he is, because it’s the truth, and you are; you just can’t really find the right words to express so right now. 

“Wow,” you heave out, half-lidded, something warm and proud bundling up in the depths of your chest, “that’s- that’s awesome,” you mumble, watching as the male next to you visibly relaxes at your response.

“Yeah,” he nods, suddenly more energetic than before, and you chuckle at the realization of just how important your opinion was for him– even though it shouldn’t be, really. It’s always been his dream, and what you think of the matter shouldn’t be any of his concern. “So they heard us play and listened to our songs and stuff, and they said we can record an album somewhere towards the end of the year, but they said we gotta promote ourselves a bit first, so…” he freezes a little, chewing on the bottom of his lip.

Suddenly, he seems nervous again. It’s a strange sight– you don’t often see Nakamoto Yuta so worried about the opinion of other people. You don’t often have the privilege to see the singer so open and so vulnerable, so easy to break. It only happens with stuff important to him, you think– the band is always his priority, and you’re more than happy that he’s finally getting the recognition he deserves and strives for. Hand slowly reaching for the one that’s resting on your thigh, you interlock your fingers with him and squeeze his palm in a reassuring manner, as if to tell him that he doesn’t have to be afraid, that you’re his biggest supporter, that you’re always here for all the news– good or bad.

“So…?” you prob him.

“So,” he clears his throat, smiling at you when he gets reassured, “we’re going to tour this one festival. It’s only for a couple of weeks, and it’s around the country, so we don’t have to fly out and all, but… I’ll be out of the city for a while, is what I’m saying.”

The confession makes your stomach churn in fear. Suddenly, you’re painfully aware of Yuta’s worry about talking to you about the topic. Somehow, you understand him completely. Ever since you met Yuta, you haven’t gone more than three days without seeing each other. You two are like puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly, always searching for the other pair when it’s not in its place by your side. Your relationship is very fresh, very new, and although you know your bond is stronger than the distance, you can’t help but feel a bit of worry in the tips of your fingertips, in the pit of your stomach. And also, there’s this silly feeling– small, but yet so overbearing– that comes with the image of not being close to Yuta for weeks, of not being able to see him every day and find the light in his eyes to get you through the week. There’s this silly feeling of missing him, of yearning for him to be there with you every minute and every second of the day, and hell, sometimes you miss him even when he’s away for a day, and you don’t know what you’ll do if it’s gonna be weeks, a big, nasty thought that’s both unreal and too realistic prickling your brain– how will you even survive when he’s not by your side? Without Yuta, you’re nothing. No one.

Still, you’re not about to ruin this for him. You’re not about to act sad, or act disappointed, because you’re not, at the end of the day. At the end of it all, you’re aware that this has always been his dream. You are happy for him– you’re ecstatic. And that’s exactly how you’re gonna react.

“That’s awesome, Yuta,” you muse, and you’re glad the tone of your voice stays genuine, “that’s big news. I’m so happy for you,” you say, seeing as the male next to you breaks out into a boyish grin, excitement spreading into every inch of his body, fingers tugging at yours to bring your interlocked hands into his lap. 

“It’s gonna be over soon and then I’m right back by your side,” he hums, and you shake your head at him.

“I’ll wait however long it takes,” you disagree with his statement, “don’t you worry. I’m gonna cheer for you every night.”

The road in front of you signals a turn back into the city, Yuta’s car naturally and smoothly driving back towards the center of life. You subtly hear your partner talk excitedly about all his dreams and all the visions he has of the festival tour– how he’s going to have the time of his life, how the boys will make it big, how he can’t wait to show everyone what they’re made of– and although you’re happy and content, the buzzing excitement of his voice does nothing to keep you awake in the late hour. You feel a peck pressed to the back of your hand, your sleep-filled eyes meeting with his, when he shakes his head at you in disbelief.

“We’re almost at yours now,” he hums, “I’ll wake you up in front of the building.”

Smiling, you nod. Somehow, you drift off with thoughts of full crowds cheering for Yuta, with thoughts wishing for him to make it just as big as he’s always dreamt of. You battle your own worries away, telling them you’re silly for thinking that things will change between the two of you when he’s away, writing them off to be your own unreasonable anxieties. 

Things won’t change, you repeat to yourself, and if so, only for the better.

III. a little bit of California with a little bit of London sky

Life has stilled into a pleasant, comfortable routine for the two of you. You admired just how easily Yuta fit into your daily schedule, just how easily he managed to get used to the cycle of your days, and the knowledge makes you that much sadder to let him go. You go to class from Monday to Friday, snatching mostly the morning ones this semester, which is a thing you’ve grown to be appreciative of, since it means you have time off in the afternoon for your shifts and hanging out with Yuta. On Friday evenings, you take the night shift and have your boyfriend drive you back to dorms when you’re off, and on Sundays, you and Yuta go out to eat in your favorite sushi restaurant downtown as he talks to you about the events of the whole week. He talks your ear off with his excitement, sometimes not even giving you a chance to speak yourself– which he apologizes for on most days, and you’re not mad at him, because truly, you understand– telling you about how practice is going and how their new manager, a thing they haven’t had before, is keeping everything in check for when the festival tour happens. 

You went to listen to them practice one more time. You don’t really dare to go close to the garage anymore, since Doyoung has not grown warmer to your presence, but you still enjoyed yourself as you realized that their mutual passion only made them perform better. 

And with days going by slowly like this, you almost don’t notice when it’s time for Yuta to leave, and suddenly, you’re standing in the crowd of the first show of their first festival tour– the thing that’s supposedly going to make their career take off– as they play songs you know like the back of your hand by now for thousands of people around you in your hometown. Something about the first stop of the tour being your hometown made you feel a bit unsettled– isn’t it always the other way around? Aren’t you supposed to reunite with your lover while he plays his last show back home? But then you realize that it’s a festival, and not their own tour– they aren’t as big to have one themselves yet– and you’re understanding of the logistics. They can’t all play the last show in their hometown.

You brought your roommate Aeri along with you to the show, both of your outfits matching in shades of black and red as you make your way towards the front row, making sure you have good enough of a view to see your boyfriend on the stage. There’s a nervous pep in your step when you wait for the band to arrive, the knowledge that your roommate has never seen Yuta before; you wonder if this is how he felt when he was introducing you to his bandmates all those weeks before, and if so, why he didn’t tell you about it.

Murmurs of the people in the crowd fill your ears, and you watch them with a horrifying realization that you don’t seem like you belong here– so out of the general aesthetic of the crowd, making you feel not cool enough, not punk enough, not good enough to be by the side of someone like Yuta– but before you get a chance to really vocalize your thoughts, there’s a sound of a drum coming from the front of the stage that makes you turn your head forward, watching as Mark grins at the crowd with something you’d call a nervous, yet excited smile, starting off their gig with an up-beat song.

“They’re kinda good!” you hear Aeri scream into your ear, and something about the compliment makes you relax. This is a good thing, you think– she doesn’t hate it, which means she probably won’t hate the members of the band themselves either. 

Once Yuta walks on the stage with his guitar slung over his neck, playing the chords you’d be able to name by memory– having your boyfriend repeat them to himself for a few good minutes once when you came over to his house and he was practicing the song by himself– and even though you wouldn’t be able to play it, you’re sure you’d recognize this song even if you were woken up in the middle of the night, slightly sleepy and still out of it. The crowd cheers, and you find yourself smiling in a sense of euphoria. 

Jumping around with the rest of the population, you get lost in the music. Their set plays out for a good hour and a half, combining cover songs and their own originals, the sun setting with the sound of their eclectic guitars. There’s always something about concerts that makes you lost in time, not really register the way it flows by and leaves you unknowing in the spiral. You didn’t even realize it– you don’t think you even fully registered the experience of seeing Yuta play live on a stage for the first time– and it’s over and you’re catching your breath, feeling your ears ring from the noise that’s been there for the last hour or so and now isn’t, everything around you muffled and a little bit hazy.

“Let’s go, we gotta catch them in the back,” you hurriedly mumble into Aeri’s ear, the girl following you with excited steps as you drag her around the crowded space. Yuta told you he is leaving as soon as the festival ends so their van can drive over to the next city as soon as possible, and since they were the second to last to go on, you feel a threatening bubble growing in your chest.

There’s a group of girls waving at the band leaving off stage, and you pray that you can somehow catch Yuta before he has to walk over to their van.

You catch a glimpse of the platinum white bangs when you jump around and try to see them, and as your eyes meet, the singer breaks out into a smile before he turns towards the rest of the band, waving at them and telling them that they can go and that he’ll find his way back in a bit. The gesture warms your heart, a sense of relief settling onto your shoulders. 

“You were amazing!” you holler as you get towards the metal gate that keeps the artists away from the crowd, your body getting into contact with the cold material as you throw your hands around your boyfriend’s neck, grasping him harder than ever before. His arms reach around your waist, squeezing out all of the air in your lungs, as a laugh bubbles out of his chest and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

“I was singing the songs for you, babygirl,” he hums into your ear, heat rising to your cheeks at the sentiment. When you pull away visibly flustered, Yuta laughs at your face, making you swat his arm in an act of playfulness. “You must be Aeri!” the man notices your roommate tagging along, smiling at her with his welcoming, warm smile. 

The girl nods at him, greeting him almost a little too politely. “Yeah! I heard a lot about you, so I’m glad Y/N wasn’t lying, y’know,” she giggles, and you roll your eyes.

“See, I would never lie to you,” you snicker, and as you put your arm on the metal gate to steady yourself, you feel warmth cover it as Yuta’s own palm envelopes it in a sweet gesture that still surprises you whenever it so effortlessly happens, but also puts you at ease all in one minute. 

“I liked the drummer,” Aeri muses, making Yuta laugh at her.

“I’ll let him know,” he salutes, and with that, he turns back to you with wide eyes, a thousand glimmering stars behind them making you admire just how beautiful and full of life the man in front of you suddenly looks. It tugs at your heartstrings– it’s only the first show and it’s already gone so well, he was born for this, you think, and even though it’s difficult, you suddenly feel like letting him go will be so much easier after the sight, because you’ll be doing it with the knowledge that it’s the best possible thing for him, something you would never be able to give to him if he was stuck with you back home.

“It went exactly how we wanted it to go, it was- it was so great,” he sighs, the crowd behind you suddenly disappearing and grouping around the front of the stage again, signaling that the next band is about to play and finish off tonight’s stop, “thank you for coming.”

“I wouldn’t miss it, you know,” you shrug, gazing into his eyes. There’s a lot of noise around you– the sound of the people talking and cheering behind your back, the beat of the drums, the shuffling of feet– yet, you feel like in this moment, everything else tuned out, everything around you disappeared for a second and left only you and Yuta in the big place, eyes and hearts for each other.

“I’m gonna–”

“Don’t say it,” you hush him, chewing on the inside of your cheek in nerves. You don’t want to hear it– you don’t want to hear him say it, because then, it would make it feel more real, more raw. You wanted to name the sensation when it comes to you, not have it in your brain before you even get a chance to get it, but Yuta shakes his head at you and sighs.

“I have to say it.”

“No, you don’t,” you giggle, amidst a little sadly.

“I do,” he nods, “because it’s true. And you deserve to hear it face to face, not over the phone,” he says, and you heave out a sigh at his words.

“Fine,” you grant him permission. Get it over with.

He shakes his head at you in disbelief, his hair bouncing in the motion. It makes you want to reach over and brush back the damp locks, put the wet strands into their place, but you don’t– and why you stop yourself is a question you don’t get to ask. “I’m gonna miss you,” he completes, and you nod.

Tears prickle at the edges of your eyes, and you promised yourself you’re not going to cry when Yuta goes– something about it feeling childish, too overly dramatic for a fact that he’s gonna be away only for a couple of weeks– and that’s exactly why you didn’t want him to say it, why you didn’t want to hear the words before he’s miles away and talking to you through the phone, because crying seems foolish in this moment. It seems stupid, dumb, dramatic, because tonight’s a good night– one that should be celebrated– and you feel like you’re ruining it.

“I’m gonna miss you more,” you muse, choking through the tears, battling away the heat in the corners of your eyes and begging that no tears actually fall down your cheeks– you could handle tearing up, but crying was a bit too much– but when the man softly scoffs at your state and brings you towards his chest, you feel them escape and fall freely, wetting his sweaty shirt more as you hold him closer, trying to hide into his body.

Who knows? Maybe if you hug him hard enough, you’ll be able to fit into his skin so he could bring you with him. Maybe you won’t have to be apart. 

“Don’t cry, you dummy,” he sighs as you push yourself away from him, trying to laugh through the pain that’s hitting you in your gut right now, praying hard you can ease the situation, “I’ll be back in no time,” he says, wiping at your cheeks with the pads of his thumbs– one of the only fingers that aren’t calloused with the force he plays on the guitar– the action so tender you swallow in on yourself.

His voice is as soft as it can get over the loud music, and you nod at him, trapping your bottom lip between your teeth so you can stop it from trembling. “Come here,” he hums, tugging you into him once more, but before you get a chance to hide your face into his chest, the male leans towards you and kisses you on your lips, a firm, sweet contact with the chapped surface.

When you pull away, he goes in for another, a starved man wanting more, and you try to remember the imprint of his lips on yours so you don’t miss it on lonely nights, so you can remind yourself of it whenever he’s away. 

There’s an arm on his shoulder when you pull away from him, a tall figure tugging him backwards, and before you have a chance to register what’s happening, you recognise Doyoung telling your boyfriend that it’s time to go, we gotta get on the road soon, and you’re left aimless and lost in the crowd, the hollowing feeling in your stomach only deepening once Yuta nods at his bandmate and turns to you again, smiling.

“Take care of yourself, okay?” you tell him, hating the fact that you can barely see him over the tears, but not really caring enough to try to stop them now. 

“I will,” he reassures you, hand coming up to your hair to pet it, a soft laugh escaping his throat. “I gotta go now, baby.”

“Okay,” you nod.

“Okay,” he repeats, taking a few steps back from you. You watch him, his figure skipping away from you, when he turns and hollers over the loud set. “Love you!”

You don’t get a chance to react before he disappears out of your sight. You don't even get a chance to say it back after hearing it from him for the first time, and something about the fact brings countless worries to your chest. Still, you chant to yourself– nothing’s gonna change. And if so, only for the better.

IV. no matter where you go, somebody follows

Navigating through the foreign city with the hood pulled over your head, the plastic bag full of take-out hanging loosely from your hold, you squint at the buildings around you and sigh in relief with the recognition of your surroundings– you didn’t get lost, despite your biggest concerns, and you’re at the parking lot behind the venue, multiple buses parked right in front of you. Jogging through the space, your sneakers hitting the pavement in a sound you find satisfactory and calming to your nerves, you reach one of the older buses parked in the corner of the parking lot, the windows dark and the vehicle painted in a chipping, rusty white color. Still, it’s a tour bus– an upgrade from what Yuta and his band departed in from your hometown just three weeks ago– and you feel a sense of pride swell inside of your chest at the sight. 

Yuta’s band has been growing successfully and steadily– just like his new manager thought would happen. Their songs are catchy, their fanbase is growing in amount, their exposure is getting bigger on social media and some of their songs even play on the radio. Sure, you wouldn’t call them radio hits– it’s not like your parents or your professors would recognize the band or know the lyrics if you showed them the tune– but it’s still something, and even that something feels tremendously big in your eyes.

The decision of skipping school for a few days and coming up to visit Yuta on his tour was spontaneous. It came to you after you missed him particularly much one night, going to sleep without his call– he apologized a day later, telling you he’d been too busy to talk– and after you counted up the money you saved up from working at the diner, you realized you can afford going on a little getaway to meet up with your lover. Yuta was delighted to hear about your plan and even got you a free ticket to the festival, and after watching him and his band play, you decided to get McDonald’s as a form of a late night snack. 

You expected your boyfriend to follow you, but he didn’t. It was okay, though– he was probably tired. Traveling both gives and takes a lot from you, and while Yuta was given a thousand opportunities over the past few days, his energy has been slowly receding. You understand– as his girlfriend, it’s your job to.

Knocking on the door of the bus– and hearing the ruckus coming from the inside, making you gaze at the darkened windows in suspicion– you get inside after the driver opens the door for you and nods at you in acknowledgement. The tour bus is kind of old, again– Yuta isn’t at a point in his career yet where he could afford the latest gadgets– but although the lights aren’t neon and the space isn’t big and modern, it still serves its purpose. It has a functioning bathroom in the front, with a surprisingly working lock on the door, and it also has a kitchen area that’s big enough to host a couple of people behind the efficiently placed table. The bus has a corridor with bunk beds on the sides and a small bedroom in the very back of it all, which is used by their manager Sangyeon. 

Usually, the bus stinks a bit. You don’t really know what it is, but you can’t really get the bad smell out no matter how hard you try. Now, though, the bus stinks even worse– and although the smell is a tad bit different than the one you’re used to (even though you’ve only been here for 2 days, with the next day being the morning of your departure back home, to your ordinary life), you can’t quite put your finger on the cause. 

You walk over to the kitchen area, the plastic bag full of food still loosely placed in your grasp, and the noise gets even louder now, the laughter and the loud music over the speakers mixing together in a way that has your head pounding similarly than to what you experience when you stand front-row during the festivals, and when you put your head through the entry to the small area, the sight in front of you has you gasping. There’s a bit more people in the tour bus than you’d expect– you mentally count the heads, realizing there are four unfamiliar faces in the small crowd– and that’s what initially makes you shy away and want to hide. See, your experience with Yuta’s band mates wasn’t the brightest– that’s why meeting another potential friend group of your boyfriend has you shrinking away in worry.

“You’re back already?” Mark asks you, your presence noticed by the man first. You nod at him, offering him a tight-lipped smile as you hold up the plastic bag in the air, showing him its contents. He smiles at you, but doesn’t pay you much attention after, instead focusing back on the commotion in front of him. 

Disappointment washes over you when you realize your presence hasn’t been acknowledged by your boyfriend– mainly because everyone else at least offered you a nonchalant nod of a head, Doyoung included– and that’s when you sigh to yourself and move closer to the small table, ready to put the food in the middle and try to join the conversation. You’re taken by surprise when you realize it’s harder to find an empty space on the crowded surface, bottles of beer, shot glasses and a bottle of tequila settled all around, a potato chip bag thrown in the corner, almost falling off. An ashtray in the middle of it all, almost full to the brim, something white and messy lined up on the other side of the table, folded arms falling to the surface with a loud thud that have you snap your head around and watch Yuta as he settles his chin on them and closes his eyes and then slowly opens them in a hazy blink, pupils almost as big as his whole iris.

This has you stopping in your tracks, this has you slightly wake up in a cold sweat, making you too aware and alert of the situation. 

Your eyes scan the surroundings again. The four men at the table seem a bit older than your boyfriend, and you’re sure you saw them on stage a few hours ago, playing their own set. The bottles of alcohol are almost empty, the ashtray filled with cigarettes, your gaze finding the source of the weird, sweet, yet earthy smell when you see a bag of dried weeds loosely thrown behind a beer bottle, rolling papers settled on the side. Finding the platinum blonde head again, the line of white substance close to Yuta’s elbow, chills run down your spine when the male looks at you with big eyes, his smile slightly out of it, yet amazingly satisfied.

Suddenly, you’re terrified. You’re scared and afraid, and you wonder how things could have gotten so out of hand in the time you were gone. Surely your trip to McDonald’s didn’t take more than a few minutes, or did it? 

“What’s all this?” you ask Yuta, your voice hush, yet loud enough to be heard over the music.

“What?” he asks, voice coated in a blissful sweetness that has your hair stand up, goosebumps rising all over your body. Frustrated, you run your hand through your hair, seeing that your interaction doesn’t have many viewers comforting you only the slightest.

“What’s all this, Yuta?” you ask, pointing everywhere around the place, but mainly to the substances found on the small, dark-wooden table.

“We’re just having fun, baby,�� he says lazily, grinning at you from under his eyelashes. Were the circumstances given to you different, you’d admire his features– his flushed cheeks and his strangely starry-glazed eyes, the satisfied and comfortable smirk playing with his flush lips. But now, you feel shaken-up; a strange kind of terror you’ve never experienced before, and frankly speaking, one you wouldn’t imagine experiencing even in your worst nightmares.

“This is fun to you?” you ask, scoffing. “Is- what happened here?” you keep dumbly asking, not finding any more coherent thoughts in your brain that could be expressed by words. Somehow, the whole situation is painted right in front of you, yet, you don’t think you have it in you to describe it or admit it to your brain.

“Why are you freaking out?” he asks, reaching out one of his hands to you to hold your hand, but you shake it off with a different sense of vigor. 

Why are you freaking out? Is he out of his mind? Does he not understand the consequences of his actions; the full implications of everything that’s going on right in this moment? Are you overreacting? You find it hard to think that’s the case.

You scoff at him, not really believing you’re in this situation right now. Something in you feels a bit shameful to be acting like this, now that you’ve been called out on it. You’re in a battle of opinions– one side telling you to drop it and let him live his life, because he’s an adult and he knows what he’s doing, the other one shouting at you that this is not okay and you need some space to breathe and get away for a second. Yuta said he was having fun, but to you, none of this was even close to funny.

“You’re unbelievable,” you say, moving away from him and sending him a gaze you hope signifies the turmoil of emotions on your insides right now, your hands shaking as you cross your arms on your chest. You’re not met with the desired reaction, though. Somehow, Yuta makes the matters even worse as he scoffs at you, shaking his head and pointing it towards the group as he mutters something under his breath.

“And you’re being unreasonable.”

The argument makes your blood cold, your eyes widen. You’re being unreasonable? In your eyes, you’re being ignored. You’re being put on the very end of the ranking of his priorities, and you’d understand it if the first one was held up by his career, his dreams– you’re not willing to battle for that place with alcohol and drugs, though. You’re simply not.

Storming out of the area, suddenly feeling like there’s no air in your lungs, no oxygen in the whole planet Earth, you run through the small and crowded place, making eye contact with no one as you run out without a plan. You bump into a slender figure as you plan on escaping the vehicle, right in the place where the stairs down are located, crossing your paths– one going in and the other one out. The person smells of cigarette smoke and when you look up to find a raven-haired boy staring at you with a glare, the plan of leaving sounds even more urgent in your head.

“Where are you running off to?” Doyoung asks, voice laced with indifference.

“I don’t want to talk right now,” you snap at him, trying to push through the small corridor past him so you can get out and get some air.

“Saw something you didn’t like?” he mocks, laughing at you.

“Doyoung-”

“Those places aren’t for college kids like you, Y/N,” he snarls, huffing out air as you push against his chest to get him out of the way, “this is how this world works. Get out before it gets you too, kid.”

V. you're the only one I'll miss when I'm gone

The coldness of the liquid spilling down your throat makes you cool down noticeably, your fingers working on the lace around your waist to loosen up the apron you’ve been wearing for the last couple of hours. You sit on one of the tall bar stools, facing the diner with your back, as you scroll through your phone and look through all your social media. You’re working another one of your night shifts, the diner surprisingly empty as you allow yourself some time to just sit around and do nothing– it’s not like you have anything else to do or any customers to serve in the first place.

Checking your messages– and finding none, much to your dismay– you move over to other apps, opening up Instagram with a swift tap of your finger, eyes tracing the posts appearing on your phone screen. There are some from your favorite music artists and some from your friends from high school, and you’d usually find an Instagram story from your boyfriend’s band right at the very beginning of the little reel on the top as well, but ever since they got signed to a label, their page is hands of their manager Sangyeon, so the account is no longer as active and as unserious as it was when Yuta was the one behind the posts. 

Scrolling down a little, your eyes zero in on a post of the mentioned account– a carousel of professionally-looking pictures of the band on the stage, taken from multiple angles and in perfect quality, colors most likely edited and lightning adjusted so they look as nice as they can. You were in the crowd just a week ago, and although you only left your visit recently, you already miss seeing Yuta in real life, playing and talking to you, existing by your side. 

You haven’t heard from him much since the day you left. Still shaken up from the sight in front of you that one night, the band’s manager let you sleep in the only bedroom of the tour bus before you took off to the station in the early morning, having Yuta groggily press a kiss to your forehead as a goodbye, telling you to stay safe as you travel, before he went back to sleep. The events of your last night with him went unnoticed and unmentioned and you’re not exactly sure if it’s for the best– you two barely call nowadays, since your schedules don’t align, and it’s kind of hard to talk about it over a text, especially when the conversations are short and dry, like they’ve been for the last few days. 

Zooming in on the picture, fingers pinching the screen to take a closer look on Yuta’s face, you chew on the inside of your cheek, letting your thoughts run a thousand miles an hour. What did you do wrong? Or was he just busy? 

That must be it. He’s in a band. A touring, rising band. He must be busy.

“What are you staring at?” you hear a male voice coming from your right, making you jump in your seat. Eyes landing on Jaechan, your coworker from the kitchen, you watch as he throws a damp kitchen towel to the counter and takes a seat on the chair next to you with a sigh. You shrug. The male takes a peek over your shoulder, craning up his neck to get a closer look, a hum escaping his throat at the sight. “Is that your boyfriend? I heard he’s in a band.”

You find yourself humming in agreement at his question. Jaechan nods at you in acknowledgement, resting his head into his palms, eyes zeroing on your stoic face. “Did something happen between the two of you? You don’t sound too happy talking about him right now.”

Sighing, you put the phone down, the screen still on and displaying the professional picture their photographer took, showing Yuta with his platinum blonde hair damp and all over the place, the singer in the middle of a song gripping his microphone tightly, veins protruding due to the notes he’s singing on his sweat-covered neck. Once again, you find yourself shrugging. “I don’t know. He’s just… not really talking to me?”

“Did you two have a fight?” 

“No,” you shake your head, “not really. It’s not like he’s not talking talking to me, it’s just that he’s not doing it as often as he used to before,” you explain, chewing on your bottom lip as you tear your eyes off the picture and glue them to your companion instead, seeing as the older male hums, pressing his lips into a tight line. 

“He must be busy,” you say, not really knowing who you’re saying this for. Is it to prove to Jaechan that your relationship is completely fine, that there’s nothing shifting in the dynamic you had with Yuta, or is it to reassure yourself, try to manifest the thought into life? You’re not quite sure at this point.

“Well, he texted you a lot more often before,” he points out, “how busy can a singer really be, you know what I mean?”

“There must be something that’s taking up so much of his time,” you sigh, the male in front of you scoffing and rolling his eyes at your naivety. 

Jaechan argues with you, and something about his sentence makes your mood even gloomier, your composure shake further. “I mean, what does a singer even do? He plays a gig in the evening and then he’s lazing off the whole day, it’s not like he’s recording an album or something, do you feel me?”

To this, you shrug. What does Jaechan even know about this? He’s never dated anyone in a band before. He’s never been in one either, so he can’t know how this life works. Maybe he’s just jealous that your significant other is famous and his is not (because it’s non-existent, just for the record), and that’s what’s making him say all these things.

“What do you know?” you scoff.

Jaechan looks at you with a softer look in his eyes now, the black bangs falling into his forehead serving as a sort of a curtain when he smiles sadly at his next words. “Enough to see when a guy gets bored, Y/N. If he had time before, he just can’t be assed now. I’d hate to see your heart break over him,” he says, each word like a sharp knife to your heart, a stinging pain erupting into each crevice of your body. Your mouth opens to reply to him, to argue that he is clueless, he is snide, he is acting like a know-it-all, when the bell above the entrance rings and a small group of teenagers enters the diner.

Before you get a chance to stand up from your place to re-tie your apron and serve them, Jaechan, who doesn’t usually serve– since cooking is his job around here– beats you to it and pats your shoulder as he goes. “I’ll get it.”

You’re left sitting at the bar, eyes bearing into the screen of your phone, gazing at Yuta on the other side of the country, almost begging him with your eyes to text, to call, to do something, before the screen darkens and your phone eventually locks, the time running out already.

VI. and he holds me like a woman

Prepared for another night of staring at the ceiling, not even the sound of Aeri’s snoring present to lull you to sleep with its monotonicity, since the girl went out and stayed over at her (as she calls him) sneaky link’s place, you settle into your bed sheets and pull your blanket close to your neck. Unlocking your phone and scrolling through social media, planning to do so until your eyes are droopy enough that you don’t have much time to overthink in the late hours of the night, waiting for sleep to take you, your finger moves through all the different apps, begging for your brain to stay occupied. You have to treat yourself like you’d treat a little child while trying to get them to sleep– except you don’t watch Cocomelon, instead you settle on the latest episode of your favorite podcast– and it starts working eventually, until you’re woken up with a knock to your door, cursing at the person behind the wall for disturbing your routine, because now, you’ll have to do it all over again.

Sighing, you stand up from your bed, lazily walking over to the door of your room– sometimes, you despise the fact that your dorm layout looks like the corridor of a hospital wing, with rooms all over the hall and a common kitchen and a bathroom at the very end, since the living space for you and your roommate Aeri is a 5x6 square meters with little to no storage room– but this time, you thank the god for this fact, since it means that nothing is too far out of reach and nothing can get lost in the small space. You think of whoever might be behind the door– is it Aeri? You doubt it’s Aeri. She usually doesn’t back out of a hook up, and even if she did, she’d text you about it before– she has her own set of keys as well, so she wouldn’t just knock. 

Is it your dorm mate? Yeji from three rooms down the corridor sometimes comes over and asks you if she can use your frying pan– since the ones in the common kitchen suck and are hardly ever clean– so maybe it’s her. However, you’re not quite sure why she’d want to cook something so late in the evening.

Shrugging, deciding that you’re not gonna dwell on the thought much longer and instead look for yourself, you unlock the door (you learned to do that every night after Ningning, the freshman that lives across the corridor from you, once stumbled into your room at 3 in the morning, drunk out of her mind, because she confused her left and right) and crack it open, shock overtaking you as you recognize the figure casually standing on the other side of the wall.

“What are you doing here?” you gasp, the man with platinum blonde hair snickering at your parted lips and big eyes.

“Visiting,” he shrugs, “I missed you.”

Taking a few seconds to process the situation, you stay standing in your place, a metaphorical loading bar appearing in the middle of your forehead. Yuta shakes his head at you in disbelief, taking a step closer towards you. “Aren’t you gonna invite me in?”

“I- I am, but-” you stutter, taking a step away from the doorway, watching as your boyfriend walks in as if he owned this place, “who let you in? We can’t have visitors after 10 PM,” you mumble, suddenly aware of the fact that you could get in trouble. 

You close the door after yourself and lock it– old habits die hard– as you watch the male giggle at your shaken composure. “The doorkeeper recognized me,” he announces, “I just had to say I have a girlfriend I haven’t seen in a while living here and he let me right in,” he shrugs.

Humming, you play with your fingers as you walk over to your bed. “So you’re like, famous famous now, huh?”

“Not that famous,” he sighs, “but quite a few people know me now.”

“So I’m dating a rockstar,” you joke, taking a seat on the uncomfortable mattress, watching as the male follows you and invites himself into the sheets.

“Something like that.”

A smile overtakes your features at that, and your room breaks into silence. Something about the quiet makes your skin scatter with goosebumps, the discomfort of his stare making you almost hate the fact that he’s here now, after not talking to you properly for a couple of weeks, but at the same time, you know you don’t really hate it. You love it, actually– the fact that he came to surprise you in the middle of the night, the fact that he’s here, the fact that he thought of you, spared you the time of his day. You love it and you love him and the fact that he came back to you. He came back for you. Only you. That sounds like a prize, doesn’t it?

Still, you feel a bit of a distance in between the two of you, and you can’t believe the fact that he feels further despite being closer in space. Maybe it’s because you can’t blame his lack of words for him being busy now– he’s right in front of you, paying you his full attention.

“How long are you staying?” you ask, picking at the skin of your cuticles.

Yuta averts his gaze from you, looking almost shameful at his reply. “I have to leave tomorrow afternoon,” he whispers, “I left suddenly, but we gotta get back on the road.”

You hum at that, not offering him a vocal reply– you don’t have any words to say to him anyway. What is there to say about a fact you can’t change? You only have to accept it.

“We only have a couple more stops to go. It will take another three weeks or so, and I’m back with you,” he says, this time locking his eyes with you in a sincere gaze, “I promise.”

The sentence has you gazing at your hands, clasped in your lap, nodding. Holding eye contact with him is suddenly hard when you feel just how far away he is from you, in another world, in other circles– and you can’t help but not see yourself fitting those, you can’t help but hate the fact that you’re so far away from everything that completes him as a person now. Maybe you’re a burden now– maybe you’re a nuisance, a baggage he has to carry even though he doesn’t have to, but keeps holding on to just because of a promise.

You remember how you chanted to yourself– believed– that nothing’s gonna change, and if so, only for the better. But you’re not so sure it came true, looking at everything now. And you do admit, you feel a little silly. Both for making the promise to yourself, and both for feeling so defeated when your world is shifting. Because things did change, and you should’ve expected it, and for Yuta, they did change for the better. He’s chasing his dream and everything’s coming out well for him. You should be happy.

You should be happy that he’s texting you less, talking to you less, having less time for you. Because that’s proof of him succeeding, after all. You just wish you could’ve been there to witness it with him.

“It must be so hard for you,” Yuta suddenly hums, leaning closer to you and wiping your cheeks. You haven’t even realized you were crying– you failed to keep your emotions in control– but instead of pushing him away and not showing him just how much the distance hurts you, you only hold him closer, crying into his chest.

His hands caress your hair, smoothing down the strands and providing you comfort, your body folding into his hold. He lays you both on the bed and tugs the blanket over you, strong arms shielding you from the pain. “Are you- are you having fun at least?” you ask, hiccuping through the sobs.

“I am,” he hums, and something about the sentence comforts you, making you fail to address everything you’ve witnessed when you came to visit him and just how much it made you worry, “wish you were there with me, but I know it’s hard. We just gotta hold on and get through this, and it will only get easier as we go, alright?”

You hum, fists bunching up the fabric of his thin black shirt. “Promise me to hold on for me, pretty girl? It’s gonna be okay. I swear.”

Another silent sob accompanied by an eager nod, hands letting go of his shirt and instead sneaking around his waist, nose burying into his chest intaking his scent. “I promise. It’s hard, but the thought of you having fun and chasing your dream comforts me.”

“That’s my sweet girl,” he hums, smoothing down your hair, “now stop crying. There’s nothing to be sad about.”

Nodding, you try your best to relax. He’s right– you were being unreasonable. Silly, even. Everything’s okay and everything will turn out just fine, you just gotta hold on for a few more weeks. Once Yuta’s back, your relationship will go back to normal and things will get better.

Leaning your head back, you press a kiss to his lips. He holds you to his chest, deepening the contact of his mouth with yours, wiping the last tears off your cheeks and placing pecks all over your face. When his lips find their way back to yours, his kisses are deeper, more firm, experience making him smoothly slip his tongue into your mouth to battle with yours, passion dripping off the muscle and tasting just like honey. 

He makes your heart race, just like he did when he first kissed you in his garage, and when his lips smoothly travel down your neck, placing bites and kitten licks to smooth the area after, you let him work his magic. You relax under his touches, you let him unravel you from your clothes, big hands testing flesh, calloused fingers pressing into all the right places. It feels amazing. It feels rewarding– and even though you’ve never done this before, you’re glad he’s your first. It’s good to look back at your first time when it’s done with someone you love– someone that’s admired, older, but still so fond of you. You feel beautiful with his hushed compliments, whispered promises. It’s like you’re running on a high, and you’re not sure if and when you’re ever gonna get back down.

You ache a little when you wake up for your morning class the day after. Throwing on his shirt you find on the floor, taking a seat next to him on the bed and brushing back his disheveled hair, his arm finds yours and tugs you back towards him.

“Stay,” he hums.

“I can’t,” you reply, “I have class in a few,” you explain, pressing a tender kiss to his cheek.

He sighs, dissatisfied, but lets you go. When he chants a goodbye at you as you close your door after with the knowledge that he won’t be there when you come home in the evening, you chew on the inside of your cheek with the crushing feeling of living in a different world than he does. And it shouldn’t matter to you– because he loves you and showed you so last night– but still, it keeps annoyingly eating you up from the insides.

He’s in a rising punk band, and you… you have to get to class.

VII. he used to sing me sweet melodies

The news hit you on a Thursday afternoon, on your way to dorms after your last class of the day. You feel exhausted, both mentally and physically, and so you decide to take the bus– the journey isn’t long, but you don’t feel like walking, and so you slung your pained body onto one of the free seats after pressing your travel card against the terminal to pay for the ride.

Fingers searching through your tote bag, a small sense of victory filling your veins when you finally find your phone in the mess of things, you grip the device and unlock it, deciding to search through social media to pass time and let yourself dissociate. 

A flood of uninteresting posts flashes through your vision as you absent-mindedly scroll through your feed, unfunny memes making you roll your eyes at the absurdity of the jokes, political discourse just making you sigh. After a while, posts from Neo zone update pages that you selfishly and amidst a little foolishly followed quite some time ago start appearing one-by-one on your Twitter feed, the face of your boyfriend smiling at you from fan-taken pictures from the last few stops of their festival tour. It’s been three weeks since you last saw Yuta, and even though you’re glad he’s enjoying his life to the fullest, you can’t help but admit to yourself that you oh so desire to have him back home as soon as possible.

One post in particular makes you stop in your tracks, furrowing your eyebrows as your eyes scan over the headline of an article with your boyfriend’s face clearly staring down at you through the screen. It’s not often that Yuta or his band get interviewed– or at least, it wasn’t the standard before, but you heard from him that he did get an interview from one of the local newspapers right after he got signed to an agency– but it seems that after getting interest from the punk scene during the festival, everybody wants to know more about the lead singer and his friends; press included. The existence of the interview itself isn’t what makes you so startled, though– it’s the headline of the article, each word like a sharp knife to your heart, making you more and more confused.

“No, I’m not dating anyone right now.” Neo Zone’s frontman reveals in our latest article, the title reads, your shaky fingers pressing down on the picture to have the text pop up, making you brace yourself for the impact. You know that the press loves to twist words and put statements into people’s mouths, but you don’t really know how those exact words could come out meaning something completely different– your very much taken boyfriend told everyone he is very much single. Do you not deserve to be talked about, after everything? Is he ashamed of you?

Sighing, taking a peek out of the window to see if you’re at your stop yet– you’re not, and you think you have just the right amount of time to read the whole article before you have to get off. And so you do that– eyes quickly skimming through the words, Yuta’s answers transcribed so perfectly you can almost hear his voice saying the words in your head, the essence of him everywhere, making your chest tighten on itself.

The Seoul-based punk band Neo Zone is picking up everyone’s attention as they take over the Warped tour festivals with their ecstatic performances and amazing stage presence. Their sound is like no one else’s, making their fanbase rise quickly, the fastly growing popularity making a lot of questions rise in the heads of the public– one question in particular mostly in the female side of the spectrum. 

We met with the frontman, 28-year old Yuta Nakamoto, to ask him a few questions about the band’s slow, but steady journey towards stardom, and also a bit about his personal life. Stay with us to get all the answers to questions you’ve been wondering about!

Eyes only briefly reading over the questions that ask about their journey– since you do know how they got where they are now, being there to witness it all; from band practices on Fridays, Yuta’s worried words at midnight over your night shifts, the songwriting sessions they had with Doyoung, where Yuta would send you pictures of his lyrics, asking for advice from his one and only muse, to them getting signed and going from playing local gigs at bars filled with cigarette smoke to venues filled with thousands of fans, all in the course of a few months. There’s only one thing you’re searching for in this article– although you’d read it all anyways, taking your time to patiently skim over each sentence, cheering Yuta on silently, there’s a thing in particular that makes you so jumpy to get to the bottom of the headline.

Finally, you get to it. You can only imagine the voice of the woman who did this interview with Yuta to be annoying, her eyes sneaky and coy as she asked him the question– but you soon catch yourself and sigh at your antics, at disbelief with what you managed to turn yourself into just for attention of a man that deemed you worthy.

“I’m sure a lot of girls are wondering the same thing, Yuta– especially after seeing you play on stage. I mean, you have an amazing stage presence, one that can’t help but attract people. The public– me included– wants to know: are you dating anyone right now?”

The singer laughs at the question, shrugging to himself. The words don’t take long to come out of his mouth. “No, not at all. With how things have been going for us, it’s been really hard to find some time to date, but I’m sure that if anyone shoots me a wink from the audience, I can change my mind quickly.”

The words make you scoff. You rest your head against the seat, your tongue poking the side of your cheek, when you notice that you’re at your stop– resulting in you scrambling for your things and practically throwing yourself out of the bus so the doors wouldn’t close on you and drive you away from the bus stop you need to get off on. Yuta’s response keeps repeating in your brain– ‘it’s been really hard to find some time to date’ –  at least he’s not lying about that, you think. 

And yes, maybe you should’ve understood his motives. Maybe he wanted to protect you from the hate, maybe he simply wanted to give you your privacy, but still– something in you breaks at being denied, at being hidden, and that burning, green feeling has you dialing Yuta’s number, waiting for the singer to reply.

It takes him a few seconds to pick up the call– you expected it, since it’s an usual occurrence now, with your texts going unanswered and calls mostly ignored, if taken, then either after a lot of ringing, or being returned to you after a few minutes when you get through to the voicemail. Still, you’re relieved when you hear his voice on the other side of the line, a little low and groggy, but still familiar.

“Hello, my love,” he says, and the pet name makes you equal parts warm and furious. So now you’re his love? What about the time he did the interview?

“Hi,” you breathe, walking down the sidewalk to your dorm building. 

“Why are you calling?” he asks. Do you need a reason to? He seems to be asking this a lot lately, but now that you actually have a reason is when the question hurts you the least.

You hum into the phone, finding the right words to say. Something inside of your gut is screaming at you, telling you just how silly and childish you’re going to sound– at just how demanding and clingy you’re going to look. But still, you can’t help but let the words slip past your mouth. “I was just wondering… about the stuff you said in the interview,” you say.

The male is silent for a little, not really responding to your worries. When he seems to gather that you’re not going to explain– and you don’t have to, since you’re aware that he knows what you mean by your subtle prompt– he talks to you with lightness in his tone, something akin to playful teasing in the reply that has you feeling stupid, so stupid for calling him. 

“About that? Y/N… you know you don’t have to worry about the two of us,” he says, laughing, “it’s just… I couldn’t just tell them I’m dating. My manager said I couldn’t, since it may damage the band’s image. I have to stay desirable to keep up the interest.”

You’re silent. So he did it for the band. Not your privacy, not your safety. 

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I’ll make it up to you when I get back, okay?”

You find it in yourself to hum at his explanation– no matter how unsatisfactory it was, no matter how it made you feel even worse about the situation than before you called. It’s okay, though– you know that his band always comes first. You can’t tarnish his dreams like that. If a secret is what you have to be, then you’re more than okay with that, if it means Yuta gets to shine like the star he’s always been in your heart.

“Is that all you wanted to talk about?” he asks. “I have to go now, if you don’t have anything else.”

“That’s- that’s all, yeah,” you mumble, sighing as you walk over to the dorms, opening the door with your student ID and slipping inside. 

“Okay,” he hums, “I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

No I love you, no how was your day, no I miss you. No I’ll see you soon, no I can’t wait to see your face, no I can’t wait to hear your voice. It’s okay, though– he must be tired.

VIII. broke, but gave all money to an airline

The next time you allow yourself to travel to see Yuta (despite all your responsibilities at college, with finals coming up and assignments piling up, making you bring your laptop to work with you and type away to finish up all your essays in between customers, having Jaechan read over the passages when your sleep deprivation gets the best of you and you can’t even recognise if you’re using the correct grammar and punctuation anymore), is on the last show of his festival tour. Something inside of you is telling you that you should go watch your boyfriend’s last gig for the time being, to congratulate him and show him just how much you support him, despite your busy schedule (that he is unaware of. You don’t want him to worry). 

And on top of that, it’s his birthday– the surprise visit to the show is only an addition to the gift you bought him, though. The personalized lyric journal and a box of his favorite chocolates seems too silly of a gift for somebody like Yuta Nakamoto, but it’s all you can afford, all you can give him. Still, you hope the sincerity and love is able to be felt through the action; you hope he realizes just how much you love him and just how much you missed him all those months.

The journey to the last state was long. You didn’t get enough sleep, you felt jittery and anxious, everything in your bones was screaming at you and cursing you for allowing yourself to make such a trip so early after the old one. Traveling is exhausting, you realize– both mentally and physically– when you have to walk distances and flash all your savings down the drain just to get bus tickets, when you have to rack your brain over to not get lost and take the right directions, make the right turns and walk the right distances. You guess you could understand Yuta a little bit better now– you’re not the one traveling somewhere else every night, and still, you feel insanely tired.

You didn’t tell Yuta about your visit. All you texted him the night before was that you wish him good luck on stage today and that you’re proud of him– sentences that get a short-cut response, an uninterested tone. You guess he just got bummed out that you didn’t stay up and wish him happy birthday the first thing at midnight– a thing he did for you when you weren’t even dating yet, the action warming you up so much back then– but even though it broke your heart, you couldn’t blow your own cover. You wanted to wish him happy birthday in person, to his face.

There is a buzz in the tips of your fingertips when you arrive at the festival. You’ve watched countless of clips online, experienced the concert first-hand multiple times before– you’re sure you could recite the setlist and the exact order of the acts playing if you were woken up in the middle of the night, drenched in cold sweat– but still, you can’t wait to see Yuta perform. You can’t wait to watch the joyful look on his face, the dreamy eyes gazing over the crowd, the raspy voice calling to you like a siren in a love song you were told was about you in the middle of the night, holding him in your dorm bed.

You didn’t stand in the front rows this time. For some reason, you don’t want the singer to know you’re here. You want to watch the show unnoticed, unannounced, enjoying it like every other fan would– except, you’re expecting to meet him after, the way so many girls dream of every night, but never get to experience.

And in a perfect reality, the show ends and you run backstage. The security acknowledges you as his girlfriend and lets you in, smiles at you and pats you on your lower back– go get him, he’s all yours– as you excitedly grin and get ready to finally close the distance between you. In your perfect dreams, that don’t become reality, you’re meeting Yuta and holding him close, chanting whispers at the universe and telling them see? We made it, no matter how many obstacles you threw our way. We made it despite the distance. 

Maybe somebody should’ve told you you were a naive dreamer before you came here to embarrass yourself. Nobody did, though– and so here you are.

“Unfortunately, fans aren’t allowed backstage,” the security says, and you understand him– your relationship is secret, not public, so really, he couldn’t have known you were not just a fan, but his girlfriend (despite still thinking that you are Yuta’s biggest fan, always. Nobody could ever support him the way you do).

“I’m not a fan, sir,” you grin, “I’m his girlfriend. I know anyone could say that, but if you just get someone from the back and tell them my name, they will tell you that I’m his partner, trust me,” you explain, a desperate inkling in your voice.

“I don’t have time for that, kid,” the man says. And it’s fair. He’s just doing his job.

“Please, I went here to surprise– there he goes!” you point towards your boyfriend walking off the stage, his head snapping towards you at the sound of your voice, still recognisable even through the flood of screams around. The man locks eyes with you and you wave at him, a fond smile overtaking your tired face, the flame inside you that’s currently giving you third degree burns of anxiety finally starts to get more subtle when recognition flashes through Yuta’s face, but again– you were naive. Naive to think he would appreciate your visit, naive to think he’d like the surprise, naive to think nothing would change between the two of you, naive to think he wouldn’t get tired and find someone new.

A naive kid.

That’s what you are.

Nakamoto Yuta runs off stage, envelopes an excited girl around her shoulders when she runs after him from backstage. Her hair is longer than yours, her face more mature, her smile similar to the ones you saw all the time at the diner whenever Yuta was around, a flirting spark somewhere in between her pearly white teeth. She kisses his jaw and he grins at her, not bothering to look around. The crowd around you gets silent, but your brain tells you it’s foolish to think everyone suddenly stopped talking– it was just your senses slowly shutting out, your vision getting blurry.

So this was the problem all along, you think.

“Anything else? If you’re done being delusional, you can get lost,” the security spits at you, and you chuckle to yourself. 

Delusional. That hits the nail on the head.

Nodding, you chew on the inside of your cheek as you stumble backwards, running off through the crowd as you try your best not to get your legs tied and fall over. Your vision is hazy and you refuse to look up, too embarrassed, humiliated by the events of the day to show your face to anyone, resulting in you bumping into someone, your figure limply falling to the ground. Sobs make your shoulders shake, all motivation to stand up and move leaving your body when somebody crouches down next to you, a considerate female voice reaching your ears.

“Everything okay, hun? I’m so sorry, I should’ve watched my step,” she says, a hand patting your back, the smell of her perfume filling your nostrils. “Why are you crying? Are you hurt?”

Shaking your head, you refuse to speak. The female considerately sneaks her arms around you, pulling you to her chest. “What is it? You can tell it to a stranger, I won’t spill.”

“Yuta-” you choke out. Embarrassment is finally the least of your concerns.

“What? What about him?”

“I loved him and he– he threw it all away,” you finish, now completely breaking.

The girl rocks you back and forth, hand running up and down your back to get you to relax. It’s strange, since you haven’t even seen her face, haven’t even asked her name– for all you know, she could think you’re just a crazy fangirl, crying for no reason. But the universe has its way of looking out after you tonight– the soul next to you holding you tight, fingers running through your hair. “It’s alright, babygirl. Cry it out,” she says, “he doesn’t deserve you… I know, I’ve been there. That’s a lesson you have to learn, though– you never date a band guy. 

He’s always gonna break your heart.”

EPILOGUE - try not to abuse your power

Yuta Nakamoto was your hero.

He was your everything. He was someone you admired, someone you longed for, someone whose attention you craved for ever since the day you met him for the first time. It’s not every day you get to hang out with a guy that’s in a band, and it’s also not every day that the said guy shows you any type of interest or gives you any type of attention– and in your foolish heart, you took all of that and ran with it, chasing down the adrenaline and calling it love.

You guess it’s never a good idea to date your hero. See, people tend to idolize the ones they admire. People tend to put their heroes on the pedestal and do everything for them, putting them as their priority and disregarding their own needs and interests just to be worthy in the eyes of the other. You were too young to differentiate between healthy love and toxic obsession. You were too young to realize the relationship you had with Yuta wasn’t built on healthy grounds.

Yuta was your hero, yet, he managed to ruin you in a little not over a year. You bet it wasn’t even that hard.

Yuta was sweet. He tasted of honey and adrenaline, of chasing your dreams and running through empty streets with sparkles in your eyes. Yuta was someone older than you, more mature, promising you security and safety that he failed to give you despite your delusional beliefs of having your haven in him. You were young; thinking that guys your age don’t know how to treat you, won’t ever know how to treat you right– being with someone like Yuta was only right in your eyes. You were his fragile piece of pottery, the thing he was supposed to handle with care, and yet, you found yourself shattering at his touches. You should’ve expected it– his fingers were always too calloused to know how to touch anything gently anyway.

And yes, you do feel guilty. You do feel like it’s your fault that you let someone do this to you. You should’ve known better– you shouldn’t have been so childish, so naive. But really, you didn’t know any better. No one ever told you it was wrong. No one warned you. No one told you how it’s supposed to look.

No one told you that you weren’t supposed to spend all your money on plane and bus tickets just to see him for a couple of days. No one told you you weren’t supposed to support him unconditionally, ignore all the bad signs and pay no mind to the way his treatment made you feel worthless. No one told you you weren’t supposed to believe his sweet words, put trust into his empty promises.

It makes you sick, in a way. He knows your freckles, he knows your skin. He knows you like the back of his hand. Maybe, just maybe, you’d still fold under his touch if he dared to get close to you again. You don’t know if you’re strong enough to resist.

And maybe you do know better now, you do hate him for what he did, but you still miss him like a little kid. It’s like you were put on a drug that made you hate everyone and make him the only one you miss when you’re gone. 

You do miss him. You do sometimes look at his social media. You do read the headlines of magazines when his face is on the front page. You do think of him whenever you wipe the counters during your night shifts, gazing at the spot he used to sit in whenever he came to keep you company, almost as if you could wish him back into existence. It’s a weird battle. The strangest type of inner conflict.

Driving down the road, back to your dorm in the car you saved up for, the radio humming lowly to keep you company in the silence, you recognize the first few tones of a G chord, the song sending chills down your spine. You listen for a few seconds, waiting for his voice to start– the raspiness, the strongness of his vocals still making you feel some type of way– before you chuckle to yourself.

You guess he did end up releasing the song, after all.

You sigh. It feels like ages have gone by since you heard the song for the first time. It feels like you aged a thousand since you last saw his face.

It’s still strange to hear him on the radio. He made it big, you think. 

After all, you still wish him well. Somehow, you still think he deserves the glory.

You skip the song.

You park the car. 

You get inside your dorm.

You live your life.

[galacticseonghwa]

seeing red - Yuta Nakamoto

INCLUDES: fem!reader X vampire!yuta, oneshot?, pet names, red hair yuta, suggestive content, swearing, dom yuta, reader is a bit of a brat, a lot of other things ig, mentioning of "murder"

wc: 769

a/n: not proofread

yuta’s curious eyes followed your figure as you paced back and forth in front of him cursing under your breath. “you say that any louder and taeyong will break down my bedroom door and murder you himself.” yuta spoke as he sat down on the end of his bed, as he stared up at the you who was still moving back and forth before him.

your eyes instantly snapped towards the red-haired male who was already looking at you with his eyebrows raised and a taunting smirk on his lips. you noticed that he was fidgeting with the rings on his fingers. his finger flexed under your gaze, swallowing harshly you turned away from him.

yuta knew all of your weaknesses and how to make you beg down on your knees, like the back of his hand. he knew that your biggest weakness was himself and in most situations, he’d use it to his advantage, like in this very moment.

a sly smirk painted his lips as he watched your eyes fix on his hands. you couldn’t think of anything other than his hands, his hands in places you needed them not too long ago, but you quickly shook your head and moved your eyes to his face. 

“keep talking and i won't be the only one murdered here.” you scoff as you roll your eyes at the red-haired male. yuta raised his eyebrows and scoffed out a laugh at the tone his lover had used. in a flash he had you in his hands, his left hand gripping your chin to keep your eyes on him.

“use that tone with me again and i’ll be sure you won’t be able to speak for the next week. got it?” he spoke in a deep tone as his eyes flickered over your own. your mouth instantly shuts as you nod your head vigorously.

“you have a mouth, use it princess.” yuta taunted as he tilted your head up to meet his own. “i got it” you spit out quickly with a frown on your face.

yuta hummed in contentment, planting a quick kiss on your lips before moving away back to his spot on the end of his bed. you stood dumbfounded for a couple of seconds before swearing under your breath again. yuta rolled his eyes at this and kissed his teeth.

if it was any other day, you’d find yuta kissing his teeth to be the most attractive thing known to mankind. but today, you’re on the brink of wanting to rip his head off.

“stop pacing back and forth. you’re starting to piss me off.” yuta hissed and watched as you give him a look and continued pacing the room. “if i get up and you’re still pacing the room.” yuta paused as he tilted his head and rested his hands on his knees.

you continued pacing the room but would look from the floor to your lover and back again. “i’m gonna throw you on my bed and fuck you until my name is all you remember.” yuta spoke. You stared at him for a couple of seconds before you continued pacing.

yuta stood up and watched as you tried to run for the bedroom door. in the blink of an eye, yuta had you wrapped in his arms and over his shoulder. “no! yuta!” you all but screamed in what could only be described as horror as yuta carried you to his bed.

yuta threw you onto his bed, climbed on top of you, and did nothing but stare at you. “what’s wrong, baby girl? you were begging for me just a couple of hours ago.” yuta taunted in a whisper as he leaned down and nibbled on your ear.

“that was a couple of hours ago.” you scoffed while trying to move away from the red-haired male on top of you. against your own will, yuta pinned your hands above your head on the bed while resting his hips on yours to keep you further pinned to the bed.

yuta ran the tip of his nose along your neck to your jaw then moved his lips to yours before speaking. “what if i want you now?” he whispered against your lips and watched with a smirk as your eyes darkened in a way he knew all too well. 

“then you better fuck me like you mean it.” you say through clenched teeth and pull yuta into you by the back of his neck.

“there’s my good girl, hmm?” yuta hummed and slipped his hands under your shirt, thumb grazing the underside of your boobs.

[g0ldenzinnie]

Thief

Couple: Yuta x fem!reader Genre: Fluff, meeting, cursing. Like a little suggestive but in the end and really, It's like very little. Sinopse: Your boyfriend breaks up with you, and in the way you met a new person... but with the wrong foot. DISCLAIMER: I had this story saved for years, like I did this when I was in high school, so if it's not that good I'm sorry, but since Yuta's birthday was recently, I wanted to upload something. But don't worry, I have something prepared for this spooky season with the dreams *spoilers uwu* Word count: 2,65k

A good man, a gentleman, he would never disrespect you. That’s what your friend said when she introduced him. A long time ago, you believed it, of course. But now you were heartbroken, crying in the street because now ex-boyfriend dumped you for some other girl. You didn’t want to know about anyone. You wanted the earth to swallow you up, for humiliating yourself in front of everyone in that restaurant, waiting for… let’s call him mister X. So that later, Mr. X would break up with you over the phone. And to top it all off, you hear his new chick in the background saying, “Baby, would you like a second round?”. Are you kidding me? You thought. You were waiting for him, in your best dress in the most elegant restaurant in the city, while he was bonking some bitch in your apartment. “Shit!” You screamed, after the call ended, punching the table. Everyone looked at you like you were some kind of freak.

You couldn’t stand it anymore. You run out of the restaurant, starting to cry in the middle of the sidewalk, going to your friend's department that was close by. That was the moment when you heard a scream behind you, “Excuse me, Miss!” You thought it was some drunk guy, so you kept walking, ignoring his call. Besides, you weren’t in the mood to speak to anyone. He insisted. “Miss!”. Obviously now talking to you, but still you didn’t turn around. You knew it was rude, but who cared? You were angry and tired of everyone. So when the guy finally screamed “Hey you fucking thief!”, finally you turn around and face the waiter who attended you. His hair was long and red. It suited him well. His eyes, you remembered, were dark brown, and he was wearing a white blouse as a uniform. He was very handsome. He received you with a wide and beautiful smile, yet now it was in a single line with a pissed expression. “Excuse me?” You said, giving him an outraged face. He makes a grin, taking his tongue out in disbelief. “Don’t you think because you’re pretty, you're going to get away with this” You didn’t know how to react since he insulted you but also made you a compliment. You cross your arms and looked at him up and down approaching to you. Not going to let him intimidate you, especially in this shitty day. “I'm sorry to break it to you, but I didn't steal anything.” “Oh really?” He says, still agitated by anger. At this point, he was in front of you, separated by just a meter. You found yourself distracted because of his beauty. How was it possible that every feature of his face was perfectly calculated? It was like he was sculpted by the gods themselves. You took a step back and put your hands on your waist. “Yeah. Look, I’m not having a good day. So, can you please just find the right girl you are looking?” You say, turning around to walk away from this super cute, but freak man.

However, he grabs your wrist firmly. “And don’t you think I had a bad day too?” The fact is that he did. His boss was in a mood today, so he kept him doing double work, like washing the dishes and attending the people. His day was getting worse and worse, but then, he saw you. Showing up in that gorgeous dress, with your eyes as shiny as the stars, and that smile? He thought for a moment he was being punished when he found out you were waiting for your so-called boyfriend. Besides, he didn’t even dare to shown up. That jerk didn’t know what he was missing. So when he finally decided to make a move, he saw you doing what you did in the restaurant and his anger grew. He couldn’t believe what you did, but you didn't know it yet. So you asked, “What the hell is wrong with you? I told you I didn't steal anything.” You shoved his grip, now very angry. “Then what is this?” he said, showing you the receipt of your order. Two martinis and an expensive wine. First you ordered the wine for mister X, his favorite. Then a half hour came by and you ordered your first martini. After that, another half hour and another martini. Just when you were finishing your second, the douchebag decided to call. And we know what happened next. You forgot of everything when you received the call, as result you also forgot about your debt. The words that were supposed to come of your mouth, were trapped in your throat. “And well? You are not a thief according to you.” He said looking expecting to see a reaction. His boss yelled at him when you storm out of the restaurant. Indeed, what at least he deserved now was an action from you. And you definitely gave him one. Tears started to come from your eyes as you sobbed, uncontrolled. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You say, cleaning your tear with your hand and covering your face. “I’m such an idiot. It’s just that this day couldn’t get any worse.” Your head leans back, seeing the dark sky. The embarrassment made you unable to see him. “First, my boyfriend breaks up with me over the phone. Then, I humiliated myself in that restaurant. And now I'm ruining it for their staff, and to you.” You said, finally looking at him. With his frown of confusion dedicated to you. You laugh of frustration, remembering something. “Besides, I left that ridiculous expensive bottle unopened. I didn’t even take a glass because I wanted to open it with him. Since it was his favorite, why did it have to be his favorite?!” The boy in front of you was silent. You drop your gaze, with your tears still coming from your eyes. Everything was quiet, you believed that he was thinking of the many ways to kill you because of your stupidity. But then, you hear him laugh. Actually, he was chuckling. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. He was really creepy, but his laughter was cute. “What kind of person cares about an unopened bottle of wine?” His gaze was all but angry. He found you quite funny and cute. More than ever, after seeing your reaction. “I would be concerned about the charges that I would have to pay.” You look at him in panic, realizing about the consequences. “Shit, the restaurant is pressing chargers?” You say, covering your mouth with your hands in panic. Shaking, as the final punch of this terrible day comes by. You didn’t want to go to jail. The boy notice this and shakes his head, taking your hand into his. “Hey, easy.” He says watching you carefully. "They aren't going to press charges if we go down there now, and fix this whole issue." His voice was calm, with his eyes lock into yours. The gaze he dedicated to you was full of confidence and security. Suddenly, you felt that with him, you were secure. That he wasn’t lying. “Okay?” He asks you, making sure you understand what he's saying. You nod and he smiles. “Good, let’s go”

The boy takes your hand and starts to walk to the restaurant. You were nervous, your hands were sweating, but he didn’t seem to matter. Actually, he squeezes your hand to give you some comfort and decides to talk. “So, what's your name?” You look at him in surprise, realizing you didn't tell him your name, and also you didn't know his. “You know, to not call you thief every time I want to talk to you” You let out a laugh. “Ha, ha, very funny.” You say, smiling. But then you say your name, he smiles, nodding. Like, your name really fitted you. “What about you? You didn’t tell me your name in the restaurant.” You ask him curious. “I’m Yuta” He responds. When you finally reach the door, he stops you. “Wait, you have um…” He points to the lower part of his eyes. You realize he was referring to your smudged makeup. “Shit” You say, trying to wipe it with your fingers, however it was worse. Yuta quickly reach in his back pockets to take out a tissue and handed it to you. “Thanks.” You say shy, fixing your mess. He watched you carefully, trying to understand how a gorgeous woman, like you, was suffering for some bastard. “Can I be real with you for a sec?” You lean your head, confused. “Sure” You respond, nervous. “You shouldn’t be sad for an idiot like that.” You stop cleaning yourself, reflecting what he said. He notices your reaction and sighs. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stand at the idea of you… you're so beautiful and here you are. Crying because of a douchebag who pretends to be a man.” You let a nervous laugh, dropping your arms to the side of your body, tired. “Look, maybe I think about him like that in the morning.” You say, raising your shoulders, defeated. “But he just broke up with me, it’s a normal reaction to be sad.” You say, finishing cleaning your makeup. “I would never break up with you.” He says like a normal stuff to say. By his tone, you could easily say he meant it. But you couldn’t stop remembering, you just met him. Even if his words were sweet as honey, you’ve met five minutes ago. Two hours if you count the time you spend with him in the restaurant. You just smile at him and hand him his tissue. “Thanks for everything.” He looks at the tissue in your hand, and shakes his head. “Keep it. You need it more than I do.” You laugh and nod. “Yeah, I think I do.” He laughs with you and points with his head to the door. You nod and finally enter the restaurant.

His boss was so angry, but Yuta handle him very well. After all, you finally pay your bill and Yuta wraps the famous wine in a bag. He also called you a taxi since it was late. You said it was fine, but he insisted. Said that they were many creepy people out there. Now you were outside, since the taxi arrived. You turn around to face Yuta, who also insisted on being with you until you entered the taxi. “Thanks Yuta again, and again, sorry for everything.” He shakes his head and gives you that wide smile. “Don’t worry. Besides, you added more adrenaline to my day. Nothing happens over here.” You smile and stand up, nervous. You didn’t know how to say goodbye. For example, you didn’t want to just wave at him because he has done a lot for you in the last hour. But also you didn't want to risk anything by making a bold move. Apparently he read your reaction, since he started to lean forward, placing a hand in your arm to give you a kiss on the cheek. You could smell his cologne, and his lips felt soft against your skin. You felt goosebumps of his proximity, as warm in your chest. He separated from you, still with his hand on your arm. His gaze was sweet but also unsatisfied. If he just met you in another circumstances, that cab wouldn’t be for one person. And that wine would be opened in his apartment, where he could fully appreciate your beauty. But maybe next time. You didn’t know Yuta yet, but he was definitely a fighter. After that moment, you blush and murmur a quiet bye. You enter the taxi and these droves off. In the road, you realize, you don’t have his number. You lean your head back in frustration, now your day couldn’t get any worse. “What the hell?” You say giving up on life, opening the bag where the wine was. You were going to get drunk eventually, so why don’t start now? When you took out the bottle, you see a sticky note attached to it. With a telephone number and a message, “If you need someone to share it. Send me a message when you get safe, Yuta.” You smile and safe the wine, for that special occasion.

[saturnznct]

dad!yuta | insta posts 2

nct masterlist (lnks will be added later)

[yutafrita]

[02:12PM]

｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ ⋆｡ﾟ｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ ⋆｡ﾟ｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡

Werewolf!Yuta x Faerie!Reader (she/her, femme presenting)

Genre: low fantasy, fluffy fluff

Warnings: mythical discrimination/ stereotyping, swearing, allusions to s!ut shaming.

WC: <1K

ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ ⋆｡ﾟ｡⋆ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ ⋆｡ﾟ｡⋆ 𖥔˚ ⋆｡ﾟ｡⋆ 𖥔˚ ⋆｡ﾟ｡⋆ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚ ⋆ ᡣ𐭩

“He’s a sweet guy!” Your roommate, Giselle, plucked off a piece of lint from your sleeve.

“Don’t think of it as a blind date more so a…. Surprise meet up?”

“Why did I agree to this?” You huffed, pinching the bridge of your nose. Your roommate went to a party last week, and on a whim set you up with some guy that even she barely knew. You didn’t know who was more foolish- her for setting you up, or you for agreeing to it.

“You know what he looks like, he’s super hot and funny… and smart! Totally your type,” she repeated this sentiment as she began to push you out of the door. “Also I’ll be having someone over!”

“Hey!” You were out the door just as she closed it, leaving you in the dust.

The cafe was across the street from your duplex, so you begrudgingly made your way over. You and Giselle were one of very few faeries at your university. It unfortunately has led to far too many other magical beings trying to pursue you in one way or another. Considering faeries, especially ones that presented more feminine, were seen as hyper-sexual temptresses, it led to you also being either uncomfortably ogled or generally ostracized.

While Giselle loved a fun challenge of conquering as many sexual pursuits as possible, you had basically avoided anything romantic for over a year.

The cafe was emptier than usual, which meant only one couple there had someone grip onto their partner tighter upon seeing you.

“Hi Johnny,” you hummed, greeting the barista. The dragon smiled at you, his pointed teeth that could rip your throat out, were now just showing his warmth. His red scales dotted only along his cheek bones and points at his arm, and if not for his red, leathery wings you could almost forget his vast strength.

“Dragonfly! What can I get you?” He teased. Your wings appeared to match more of a dragonfly than Giselle’s, which appeared more like pink butterfly wings. As a result, amongst your very few friends, dragonfly had become your nickname of choice.

“Just the usual coffee,” you nodded. As the dragon went to prepare your honeydew coffee, you took a closer look at the other patrons. The couple you had spotted earlier consisted of two humans, both avidly avoiding looking at you. You were also able to spot a cat shifter with their headphones in, and a cyclops.

No werewolf, though.

This was stupid. If Giselle wanted to just get you out of the house she could have just asked like she normally did- she didn't need to set you up with someone. Especially a werewolf. Most werewolves had allergy attacks whenever you were nearby due to your fairy dust and their intense sense of smell.

Johnny called your name and passed you your drink. You took out your phone once you sat down and started scrolling through your pictures. You were in need to clean up the camera roll, and faerie jokes and Inter-Species Relations major memes didn’t really need to take up your whole phone storage.

“Hi… y/n?” Your name instantly called your attention.

“Hi Yuta,” you greeted, smiling at the werewolf. Like most werewolves, he had his ears and tail exposed despite it not being a full moon. Most wolves choose to do so as it allows their full moon shift to be smoother and less painful.

He sat across from you, smoothing out his polo before he took a sip of his drink.

“What drink did you get?”

Yuta removed the drink from his lips before answering, “a jasmine tea. You?”

“Honeydew coffee.”

“Aren’t we a couple of stereotypes,” he giggled. You couldn’t help but smile- he was right. Faeries had a strong connection with bees, and werewolves had a strong connection to the moon. With honeydew being something bees loved and jasmine being linked to the moon, yep, you were indeed a couple of stereotypes.

“So Yuta, how did Giselle force you out with me?” You asked, folding your hands on the table. He still wasn’t sneezing like most other wolves do when you don’t take your faerie dust suppressant. The suppressants always made you feel groggy and bloated, but it helped the werewolves in class not sneeze every second.

“Giselle?” he raised an eyebrow, “Oh no she didn’t set us up. It was my roommate who insisted we meet up.”

You furrowed your brows, “is your roommate the person she’s having over now?”

“… that’s probably why he dropped me off here and parked across the street,” Yuta scratched the back of his neck. “My roommates a human and he just transferred to our university from a small community college.”

“Ah, so this is his first time encountering so many different beings?”

“Yeah…” Yuta nodded, “but um… anyways. What’s your major?”

You sat up tall now, “Inter-species Relations with a concentration on policy making. You?”

Yuta’s ears perked up, “Local Policy making with a concentration on inter-species governance.”

You both let out a laugh then, which earned you several looks from your fellow patrons around you. It surprised you to hear that Yuta was roommates with a human when most wolves you knew tended to stay with members of their pack. While it was beyond acceptable for wolves to be friends with other species, it did strike you as weird to hear that he didn’t share a space with a pack member.

"What got you interested in working on inter-species policy?" you asked, taking another sip of your honeydew coffee.

"Well, my parents divorced when I was little and when my Mom remarried she married a warlock. It's come with me learning a lot of the challenges faced by those in inter-species relationships," he took another sip of his coffee before he nodded, "and you?"

"I guess mine's a little more selfish," you admitted.

"Mine is totally selfish," Yuta then nudged your arm, "what is it?"

"Well," you tucked your hair behind your ear, the points on your ear now sticking out, "even though species have been integrated for decades, there's still a lot of animosity between them. I want to be apart of the solution."

"That's noble," Yuta smiled, and you heard a loud, repetitive thumping sound. You glanced down at Yuta's chair to see his tail wagging before he quickly snatched it. "Sorry, that's embarrassing."

"I think it's cute."

"Can I just say, you smell great by the way?"

"Thanks but... I noticed you haven't been sneezing at all?" this was a burning question you had, and you were relieved to finally have a way to ask about it.

"Oh," he dug around in his pocket and set a vial on the table, "my step-dad makes an allergy potion for me so that faerie dust isn't a problem. I just have to take it once a month."

You took the vial in your hand and examined it in awe.

“What are the side effects?”

“None that I know of. I have a faerie in my major so I figured I’d take it.”

You leaned back in awe, your own wings fluttering as you thought over the possibilities. You and Yuta sat at the shop for another few hours, well past when both of your cups went empty. You were talking about the latest installation in the Mission IMP-possible series when Yuta got a call from his roommate to meet him out front to head home.

“I’d… love to see you again,” Yuta’s ears were fully perked up, tail wagging aggressively as he spoke. Nervously, you noted in agreement before you two exchanged numbers.

*******

“A lot of werewolves are breaking off from the pack system these days,” Yuta explained to you one afternoon. The two of you had taken to studying together after classes and taking walks along the city river banks in the mornings. Today, you were having a late lunch on the library roof. “The pack system is still archaic and really heavily gendered.”

“So, is there an alternative?”

Yuta shrugged, eating the last of his fries as he mulled over his response. “Not really. I haven’t had an actual pack for a while, though. They didn’t really do much for me anyways besides be overbearing.”

Everything you knew about werewolf packs came from your college courses. Each pack typically had its own set of rules and its own dynamic. Yuta seemed indifferent to this, though, especially since he only had one other werewolf friend.

“We should go out tomorrow night,” you proposed after a small bout of silence. Yuta’s tailed started wagging again before he raised an eyebrow.

“Are you officially asking me on a first date?”

You scoffed, “so the coffee date didn’t count?”

“Not when it was used by our roommates as an excuse for them to fuck,” Yuta chuckled before offering you a fry.

“Well, miss dragonfly, I would be honored to go on an official date with you.”

Permatag! @nini0620

[outro-jo]

Caught in the X fire

pairing: ryo suzaki x delinquent reader (gender unspecified)

type: imagine

summary: you were in the fight of you life against the love of your life

warning: violence, not canon to the High and Low storyline

a/n: this was self indulgent and i really don’t know a lot about the High and Low universe. some of the information may not be right but i tried to go back and double check things. also these are probably boys schools in japan but like just ✨pretend✨ it’s not if you aren’t a guy. i just like yuta and his character. please read info before requesting 🤍

masterlist | info

———————————

this was certainly an odd place to be.

when you were called to fight today with Ebara, Oya, and surprisingly Housen highs you didn’t imagine you’d be fighting one of your best friends. you knew Ryo was working with Senomon and they had taken Tsukasa but to be the one going toe-to-toe right now doesn’t feel real. bruises and gashes littered your face and body which ached from the blows and exertion but you couldn’t stop now. by now, the fighters remaining from the other schools gathered around to watch the two of you battle. 

“This is the last one,” you rasped, “this one takes it.” 

Ryo nodded in understanding before lunging towards you in dueling blows, his making contact with your cheek and likewise yours with his jaw. quite a stark difference to how you were treating each other a few nights ago.

Ryo had just finished with Amagai and you met in your usual spot in an alley way where no one could see you. he leaned with his arm up against the wall. the two of you whispered sweet nothings like you weren’t supposed to hate each other. his hand on your cheek, stroking where the bone protruded. now that cheek was bruised because of him. the lips he kissed were now split and bleeding.

the entire fight you had to keep the flashbacks at bay not just from the other night but from years earlier. he still looked like the little kid you remembered all those years ago. Ryo was also fighting his past while also fighting you. Amagai joining him on the dock and handing him a drink, letting the bat he had just beaten those bullies off with hitting the ground. What Amagai didn’t know was just before he arrived you had left. you had held Ryo while he was upset after being bullied, you hugged him while he cried. he had never forgotten and he felt an immense guilt causing your injuries now.

but that’s what happens when you’re on opposing sides.

the final blow of yours landed and Ryo fell to the ground. it took everything in you not to be at his side. you stood your ground, raising your face to the ceiling of the dilapidated gymnasium but this certainly didn’t feel like a victory.

“i lost…” Amagai whispered to himself repeatedly. you and the group that surrounded you looked over at him. 

it all happened so fast. a blade was unsheathed and Amagai ran toward you. you didn’t have any time to react but your braced for the impact of the knife that… never came? your eyes opened slowly, brows knitting in confusion as you looked down. Ryo’s hand pressed into you stomach, keeping the knife from impaling you.

“what’s your problem?” Ryo forced out to Amagai before throwing the knife to the ground. “you know we shouldn’t use these things!”

you watched in awe as Ryo used the last of his energy reserves to remind his friend of the promises they once made. however you could hardly focus on the conversation as your mind began to race. 

he saved you. he saved your life. you considered Ryo your best friend and the love of your life, but you knew being from two different schools, mortal enemies, you would have to make a choice you didn’t want to make. Ryo never made that choice. 

a guilt washed over you. there’s a part of you that didn’t know if you couldn’t have done the same for him, as much as you loved him. you fell to your knees. those watching would probably just assume you were exhausted from all the fighting, but it was the internal struggle that made your legs give out. 

Ryo collapsed on the floor as he finished his apologies for failing Amagai when Fujio stepped away from the group to remind him that it wasn’t about being the greatest when he had gained friends who would fight for him today. he didn’t get it. none of them did. this was about a promise between two childhood friends. you were the only one able to see it.

“hey…let’s start over again.” Ryo asked Amagai.

together they made their promises to the other schools that they wouldn’t lose again, and they restored their friendship. the room began to clear out with the promises to do it again. Fujio walked over to you and extended a hand to help you up but you shook your head.

“Sorry… my fight is with them now.” 

Ryo slowly looked over at you with wide eyes. you reached over and laced your fingers between his indicating an unspoken allegiance. You earned some shocked looks from the other guys but Fujio just shrugged and began leading the pack out of the gymnasium.

the three of you fell back on to the wooden floor completely spent, your fingers still linked with Ryo. Amagai was the first to break the silence.

“Dammit… who said you were apart of this?” he asked you.

Ryo looked over at you with a small smile on his lips which you returned. “i did.”

Amagai sighed and groaned looking up at the ceiling and you and Ryo joined him. 

“this is stupid! we can’t even see the sky!”

“not yet…” you said. “one day we will.” 

the boys turn and look at each other. “let’s start again,” Ryo said.

[yueisyum]

Ex Yuta x reader

angsty

smuty

🙏🏽🥺 please

“Hey” Yuta awkwardly greets from his couch, he had looked up from his phone when the door opened. Revealing you, your hands are occupied with a big box, forcing you to reply verbally. “Hi…” you didn’t mean for it to come out as a whisper, and you also didn’t mean to sound so sad.

“Are you here for mark?” He puts his Phone down at his side, giving you his full attention. You simply nod to him while looking around his apartment, one you’ve seen a million times before, He looked at you like he was expecting something more, when you said nothing he nods to himself. “He’ll be here in like thirty minutes. Said he had to run some errands” You drop the box in your hands with a puff. The box falls to the ground but doesn’t fall over.

You’re upset because you know mark did this on purpose, ever since you and yuta separated, he’s been trying to get you two to talk. You should’ve known he would do something like this. Giving you a very specific time to get to his dorm, telling you the doors would be unlocked and to bring the project supplies. Curse him.

Yuta also seemed to have put two and two together as well. You weren’t planing on seeing him here, you’ve been subtly avoiding him around campus, making sure to not to run into him. for the past three months you’ve been avoiding the inevitable. and now, here you are.

“So, you two are partners now?”

“What no!? We’re just friends” you put your hands out in front of you, as if dramatically denying the chance of you and mark ever being together.

“I meant school partners”

Oh

“Oh, yeah, school partners…”

Yuta lets out a soft laugh, a laugh you haven’t heard in a while, a laugh you prayed you’d never forget. It almost hurt thinking about it. You try your hardest to smile, to shred down the awkwardness in the air. After you two stand in the silence for a moments, you break it while pointing towards the direction of marks room. “I’ll go wait in his room” you bend down to pick the box up again, so you can quickly flee the eyes of your ex boyfriend, yuta.

“Uh.. yeah okay” he sits up slightly, rubbing his knees with his palms to get rid of the sweat that’s forming on them. Damn him for being so awkward. He shoots up from his seat when you start making your way to his roommates door. He appears in front of you to open the door for you. Probably so you won’t have to put the box down again. But it’s locked.

Marks room is locked…

You are going to kill him…

Yuta was thinking the same thing. He let out a soft sigh, the frustration on his face was evident. You can read him like a book. You know everything about him, even what he’s thinking right now. He’s probably running through his mind to look for anything that will make this less awkward.

“I might have his spare keys in my bedroom, if you really want to wait in there”

Told you.

You look at him for a moment, he does the same. Patiently waiting for a response. “No, no, he probably has it locked for a reason” you then turn on your heal and make your way into the kitchen. You didn’t want to think about yuta, especially today. You didn’t think he would be here, you assumed he would be out with another girl or something.

“How’s things with your new friend? What’s his name again? daejung-“

“-It’s fine”

You knew he would follow you into the kitchen, and you knew he would ask that question at some point. You were trying your best to avoid it. You turn to face him and he’s eyeing you. “Fine?”

“Yep” you place the box down on the counter, and lean against it, while crossing your arms. You can almost taste where this is going. “Just fine?” He tilts his head, you can tell he’s holding back. You bite at your lip to avoid saying something you’ll regret. The tension is cracking with every response you give him, one more and it would shatter all over the ground.

“Yes, fine, great, nice, all of the above”

He nods, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. His eyes look away from you for a moment.

“Fine, great, and nice” he repeats. “Is that why I heard you two separated?” You look away from him now, a scoff leaving your mouth, but you both know it meant nothing. “Are you keeping tabs on me Yuta Nakamoto?” You tease, he just looks at you, not bothering you with a response, but that’s okay, you already knew the answer.

Yes.

“I said everything’s fine” you repeat, trying your best to sound confident and nonchalant.

“You need something more then fine y/n, tell me the truth”

“-Fine is exactly what I need, something normal, and easy.” You can see the look of disappointment plastered on his dumb, stupid, attractive face. “That’s not what you need, trust me” he pushes himself off the counter in front of you, slowly nearing closer. When he’s situated right in front of you, you realize you can’t necessarily back away, so instead you Lean back slightly.

“He’s not enough for you” he mumbles, his eyes trained on your lips. You knew this was coming, you knew it. But you didn’t little to avoid it. You curse yourself for having no self control around him. “I should wait for mark outside-“ you begin…

“-No you shouldn’t”

“I should” you try to stand your ground, but yuta has already began kissing along your neck, and you hate yourself for subconsciously leaning your head back for him. “I thought for a moment…” he begins, his lips easily finding the spots on your neck that will make you hold onto him for dear life. Your arms quickly move to wrap around his shoulders “… that maybe I can play along, play this game of yours…” his hands find your hips and pull you flush against him. “… that I can keep Pretending…”

“Yuta-“

“-he hasn’t touched you has he?”

God you’re going to fall apart before he even finishes his little rant. You stay silent, hoping- praying that maybe he won’t make you suffer.

“I swear to god y/n, if I find out you let another man touch you, I will deliver his limbs to you in a cardboard box” he almost growls into your neck. You really did try to bite back the whimper that left your lips. However you fail. Like always.

You refuse to answer, instead bringing your hands to his chest to push him away.

“Y/n…”

“Yuta, please-“

“-you are such a brat, you know that?” He lifts his hands to your face, holding it in place while he smashes his lips into yours. You try your hardest to push away against his firm chest. Or that’s what your telling yourself, you might as well be pushing a wall. “You won’t win this fight y/n, just be honest with yourself for once” he said roughly against your lips. The kiss was desperate, you can tell he misses you, the way he holds your face, the way he lets out a relived sigh when you finally kiss back.

“Always fighting me…”

He continues to speak against your lips, one of his hands travel back to your hip, to make sure You won’t disappear again. You lift yourself into your toes to deepen the kiss. God you miss him.

“Always resisting me” his other hand wraps around your back, your fingers curl his shirt into your hands. When he finally pulls away, he keeps his eyes on yours. Yuta watches your chest rise and fall. He doesn’t realize, he’s doing the same.

“It’s like you want me to beg, you want me on my knees?” You swallow hard, you knew this was going to happen. “I want…” you pant couple more times before freezing. “You what what?”

“..I want you to…”

He lets out a laugh and squeezes the hand that’s on your hip. “Go on, I’ll do anything”

“Anything?”

“…I still love you y/n…”

“Don’t say that” you close your eyes and shake your head, you begin to push him away but he won’t budge. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get you out if my system, not completely, you’ll always be present in my mind, and I’ll be damned if I allow you to leave again.”

“Oh god” you mumble, you’re not even sure who your talking to, but it was all too much. “So, tell me what you want princess and I’m all yours”

“I want… you to take me to your bed”

He smiles before sealing your lips to his once again. he lowers himself and slides his hands around the back of your thoughts to lift you up. You wrap your legs around his waist and kiss him back like he’ll fly away.

Mark will just have to wait.

You knew this would happen.

[oceanlix]

Day 31: Yuta + Tattoos

Pairing: vampire!Yuta x vampire!female reader

Genre: Smut

Word count: 3300

Warnings: vampire!Yuta, vampire!female reader, hair pulling, fingering, oral (female receiving), begging, quick mention of blood, dirty talk, degradation, masturbation (female and male), breast play, nipple play

Kinktober 2022 Masterlist

Getting talked into a tattoo by your drunken friends was not your wisest decision, for sure. Even sober, Mark’s ideas were usually something you would avoid. But stranger things have happened to you on Halloween themed bar crawls than your roommate’s goofy boyfriend convincing you to get your body modified. You almost back out at the last second, but when your tattoo artist walks into the room, you suddenly know you aren’t going anywhere.

“Yuta,” he introduces himself, shaking your hand firmly. Your friend giggles next to you while Mark’s jaw simply drops. He looks like a cartoon as he stares at all of Yuta’s tattoos.

“So, what are you looking to do tonight? I’ve got my flash books if you need some inspiration.” You barely register his words, unable to tear your eyes away from his handsome face.

“Y/N,” your friend giggles some more, knocking into your arm. You almost can’t believe she’s paying more attention than you, but then you realize she’s utterly in love with Mark and could not possibly care less about your hot tattoo artist.

“Maybe I’ll look at the flash,” you decide. You did come in here on a whim, so you really don’t have a design in mind at the moment. And Yuta staring you down certainly isn’t helping with that.

He smiles gently as he passes you a thick binder. “Take your time looking at everything,” he says. It’s late enough that the shop is empty, so at least you’re not holding him up from another client.

You open the binder and flip through some pages, passing characters and tribal designs. Mark and your friend are useless, giggling and cuddling on the couch a few feet away instead of helping you. Finally you get to the flowers, and immediately you decide on a thorned rose.

“I like this one,” you announce, and suddenly your friends find the ability to stop canoodling long enough to wander over and peek at your choice.

“Oh dang, that’s nice!” Mark grins, clapping you on the shoulder. Yuta nods in agreement, flipping the binder around to look at it.

“Give me a few minutes to draw something up,” he says, scooting his chair back to a tiny desk in the corner. You turn to your drunken friends.

“It’s gonna look so pretty,” your friend whispers, though she’s not really whispering at all since Yuta looks up with a tiny smile. “I wish I could get a tattoo.”

“You’re drunk, babe,” Mark tells her. He’s got a dopey look on his face as he stares at your roommate. They’re so in love it makes you sick sometimes. You’re totally not jealous at all, definitely not.

The four of you sit in silence while Yuta finishes drafting your design, the only sounds coming from the pencil rubbing against the paper. You look around at the walls, which have random drawings all over them in neon paint. None of them look like the same style, so you assume it’s not Yuta that decorated in here.

“I’m done,” your artist suddenly announces, wheeling his chair over. Your friends crowd around as he slides the drawing over to you.

The thorned rose looks similar to the flash, but it’s wrapped around a wooden stake now. Your eyes meet Yuta’s, panic slowly washing over your body. Does he know? you wonder, trying to read his expression. It could just be because it’s close to Halloween, but you still feel nervous. You glance at Mark and realize he’s dressed as a vampire. Ah, that’s probably where Yuta got his idea for the design. He doesn’t know anything, you decide. You school your expression back into something semi-normal.

“That looks good,” you tell him. Yuta nods, breaking your gaze after a moment. He looks you over, contemplating.

“Any ideas for placement?” he asks. You shrug, pointing to your arm. You hadn’t intended to get a tattoo tonight, but you can’t really go wrong with a classic arm tattoo.

“Boo,” Mark yells, a little too loud in the small room. Your friend giggles, punching him in the arm. “What?” he whines. “That’s so boring!”

Yuta smirks, and that’s when you see it. A fang, just barely peeking out over his lip. You hold in your gasp, clenching your fist on the table as he starts prepping your arm for the stencil.

So your tattoo artist is a vampire too. You’re wondering how he deals with the blood; you probably couldn’t handle yourself in this environment, so he must have a lot of self control.

“Hey,” Yuta calls out to you suddenly. You meet his eyes and tilt your head. “Don’t think too hard.”

You know he means about the tattoo, or maybe he doesn’t. He smirks again, his fangs staying hidden this time. “Alright, let’s get started.” He looks at your friends and raises his eyebrows. “One of you might wanna hold her hand at first, just in case.”

Your roommate grabs your hand, flinching instantly. “You’re always so cold,” she complains. Yuta snickers to himself, which you don’t appreciate. It’s bad enough he’s already figured out what you are, let alone also being a vampire. You don’t need him to out you to your friends as well.

The needle doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would when it hits your skin. Perhaps that’s because you’re a vampire, but you’re not really sure. You have no way to compare it to human pain anyway. You squeeze your friend’s hand just for effect, which doesn’t go unnoticed by your tattoo artist.

“Should I get a face tattoo?”

When Mark says that out of the blue, all three of you look at him incredulously.

“No!” everyone shouts, startling the poor man.

“So Johnny lied to me?” he says, sounding dejected. Your roommate pats his shoulder comfortingly, while you glance at your tattoo artist and try not to laugh.

Yuta grins up at you, wiping some ink off your arm. You won’t lie, having his gaze on you is a lot scarier than the pain from the needle. He’s just so hot.

“Babe, I love you with or without tattoos,” your friend is telling her boyfriend. He seems a little less upset when she kisses him, but he’s still pouting.

Yuta tattoos you in silence for the next twenty minutes, your two friends seeming to forget where they are as they get lost in their own world on the couch. You’re zoned out as well, thinking about how your artist immediately picked out that you were the same kind as him. You don’t think you’re that obvious, though maybe you could dress a little less like a vampire in the future. Where’s the fun in that, though?

“Hey!” Mark sits up suddenly, startling all three of you. Yuta manages not to fuck up your tattoo somehow. “You should come to our Halloween party!”

Your eyes bug out of your head as you shoot a glare at your friend. Inviting the hot tattoo artist totally unprovoked? Mark infuriates you sometimes.

“Yeah!” your roommate agrees. You see the gears turning in her drunken mind as she smiles slyly at you. “We’ll give you the address in case you want to stop by.”

Yuta nods, going back to concentrating on your tattoo. You don’t know if that’s a good sign or not, but you make a throat slicing motion at your friends when you’re sure he isn’t looking.

—-

At the time, you’d wanted to karate chop Mark in the throat for inviting your tattoo artist to your Halloween party. But now on the night of the party, as Yuta appears on the porch in a racing costume, you could kiss your friend. Well, you would if your roommate wouldn’t kill you for doing it.

“Hey man!” Mark shouts, coming over to give the other man a bro hug. “Glad you could make it! We were getting tired of Y/N looking at the driveway wistfully.”

“Dude, shut up,” you groan, punching Mark in the arm. You were definitely not watching the driveway like a lovesick puppy; you don’t know where he got the idea from.

Yuta laughs, slinging an arm over your shoulder. “Well, I’m here now to entertain you.” You don’t miss the way his eyes drop to your lips momentarily.

“I’m hungry,” your roommate announces loudly, walking up the stairs. Jungwoo is right behind her, holding a plastic pumpkin bucket filled with Jell-O shots. You grab a couple as he shuffles onto the porch, offering a blue one to Yuta.

“Guys,” Jungwoo starts, looking around nervously. “I don’t want to scare anyone, but Yangyang just told me there’s a vampire clan that lives around here. Do you think any of them would show up at the party?”

“Vampires aren’t real,” Mark says right away, far too confidently. He wraps his arms around your friend and pretends to bite her neck, making her giggle.

Yuta smirks, once again sharing a secret between the two of you. His hand bumps against yours and then he’s linking your pinky fingers together, your heart jumping in your throat. This isn’t how you saw the night going, but you don’t think you mind.

“I’m not taking my chances out here,” Jungwoo groans. He puts down the bucket of Jell-O shots and heads inside, leaving Mark the chance to grab some more.

“Do you wanna go somewhere more private?” Yuta whispers in your ear. Your skin prickles as his tongue touches your earlobe. You nod your head.

“Have fun!” your roommate shouts as the two of you head inside together. Your lower back burns where Yuta has his hand on it, guiding you through the crowd. You’ve never been with another vampire before; it’s always been too risky. One of you might get too excited and cause problems. The last thing you needed was to make living in this town harder for all of your kind. But now, you figured you had enough self control not to lose your cool. You supposed that would be tested tonight with Yuta.

He finds an empty bedroom and leads you inside, only for you to realize it is in fact your room. You giggle to yourself as he sits down on the bed, arms wrapping around your waist.

“What’s so funny?” Yuta asks, kissing your stomach as he runs his hands down your thighs. Thank god you decided to be a slutty witch; your crop top and skirt leave so much skin exposed he doesn’t even have to undress you right away.

“Nothing, just find it funny that you found my room right away,” you tell him. Yuta hums, tongue darting out to lick a stripe on your stomach. Your breath shudders as you lean into him, grabbing a handful of his hair for support.

He sneaks his hands up the back of your skirt, palming your ass over your thin panties. You let out a moan, feeling your fangs start to emerge from your gums. It’s been so long since you were with a man that you forgot how it affects you, the urge to bite appearing in the back of your mind.

“You’re so hot,” Yuta groans, kissing your stomach again. You hiss as you feel his fangs gently scrape the sensitive skin, hips jerking away from his mouth. Your whole body feels like it’s burning up as he unzips your skirt and shoves it down around your ankles.

“Fuck,” you curse. Yuta rubs his fingers over your panties, your wetness leaking through the thin fabric. You sigh dreamily, running your fingers through his hair as he continues to touch you.

“I haven’t even done anything and you’re already this wet,” he says in awe. His eyes are glued to your soaked panties, his fingers teasing your entrance over the fabric. You wish he would hurry up and take them off, your fangs digging into your lip as you try to hold back another loud moan.

“Yuta, please,” you start to beg just a moment later. He looks up at you with a smirk. You feel your pussy throb with need at the sight, not wanting to unpack the meaning of that right now. “I need you to touch me.”

Yuta shakes his head, instead leaning up for a kiss. “Are you scared?” he whispers, his lips barely touching yours. You shake your head, leaning in to close the final gap between you.

Immediately you feel like you’re being devoured, though his fangs aren’t even out yet. He cups your face in his hands so tightly that you can’t move away, forced to gasp for breath as he continues attacking your lips.

“Yuta,” you moan, your hands sliding down his arms. You’re really not scared; if he wanted to hurt you, he’d have done it by now. And besides that, you like to think you can hold your own. The only fight you plan on having with the other vampire tonight is in between your sheets.

“Get on the bed,” he says suddenly, voice raw with desire. You don’t waste any time, climbing past him onto your bed and sticking your ass in the air. Yuta is behind you seconds later, his hands sliding up your legs and grabbing your butt.

“I want to taste you,” Yuta whispers. You’re a little scared to have his fangs near such a sensitive part of you, but your curiosity wins in the end. You nod your head, your breath hitching as he starts pulling off your panties.

You’ve been with men before, but nothing could prepare you for the feeling of Yuta’s lips on your pussy. You bite down on your lip, your fangs piercing the skin easily. Blood drips down your chin as he holds your hips still and licks at you, your moans coming out freely.

“Yuta,” you cry out, pressing your hips back into his face. The way his tongue swirls against your walls has you squirming for more, grabbing at your pillows helplessly.

“Baby, you have to stop moving,” he coos at you, pinching your butt before diving back in. His nose rubs against your clit as he adjusts his angle, fingers digging into your thighs.

You whine into your pillows, not even caring that you’re getting blood everywhere. You can always wash them later. Your mind can’t think of anything else except for the feeling of Yuta’s mouth, your orgasm building.

“Fuck me,” you moan, arching your back. Yuta pulls away from your pussy, replacing his lips with his fingers. You’re so wet that they slide right in, drawing a shout from you as he finds your spot and presses in further.

“Come on my fingers first, pretty girl,” he tells you. You can’t say no to his request, not when his voice is so seductive and you’re practically sobbing with need. Yuta fucks you with his fingers steadily, watching them disappear inside your body.

“Greedy little pussy,” he growls, leaning down to kiss between your shoulder blades. You feel so overwhelmed that this is what sends you over the edge, your fluids gushing out around his fingers as you clench around them.

“Oh my god.” You shiver as he continues to work you through it. Finally you slump forward into the pillows, his fingers slipping from your spent pussy.

“I hope we’re not done yet,” Yuta says, rolling you onto your back. The smirk on his face is enough to get you going all over again, your fingers reaching down to touch yourself as you stare back at him.

“I want your cock,” you sigh, spreading your folds with your fingers. Yuta looks down as your cum drips out, his fangs reappearing. He crouches down between your legs and licks up your fluids, moaning as he kisses your inner thighs.

“Don’t worry,” he smirks, sitting upright. He reaches into his jeans and pulls out his dick, spitting into his hand. “You’ll definitely get it soon.”

Yuta strokes his shaft, spreading his saliva all down his length. He teases his slit with his fingers, precum squirting out of the angry red tip. You lick your lips. You want to taste him, but right now you want him inside of you even more.

You reach out and grab his balls in your hand, squeezing gently. “Put it in me already, would you?” you egg him on, smirking. Yuta hisses and swats your hand away. He grabs your thighs and puts them around his hips, lining up his cock with your entrance.

“Tell me,” he starts, dragging his tip through your wet folds. You moan at the teasing, your head thrashing side to side. “Do you think you deserve my cock?”

“Please,” you babble, your eyes filling up with tears. His tip keeps dipping just inside your pussy, taunting you before he pulls back out. You’re so frustrated you can’t stand it, your hands balling up your sheets tightly. “Fuck me!”

Yuta smirks, grabbing your hips and sheathing himself in you with one deep stroke. You can’t even describe how full you feel, a loud moan falling from your hips. His cock reaches every part of you, including that spot that drives you crazy.

“Is that good enough for you?” he teases, hips completely still. You’re frustrated again, just wishing he would move already. You shake your head, trying to lift your hips to get more friction. Yuta presses your hips back down though, enjoying your struggle.

“Yuta!” you find yourself whining. You’ve never had to beg a man so hard, but you can’t help it. Your walls flutter around his cock, your moans weakening his resolve with each passing second.

“Okay, fine,” he sighs, like it’s a huge inconvenience to actually fuck you. Truthfully, he’s barely holding back, ready to pound into you. Yuta slides your hips up further into his lap and starts thrusting, leaning down to silence your sudden scream with his lips.

His fingers pull at your nipples as he fucks you, tugging them into stiff peaks. The fabric of his jeans rub against your bare ass, your juices getting all over the denim. They’ll be stained later, but he doesn’t care. You making a mess on him is the least of Yuta’s worries right now, not with the pretty sounds you’re making for him.

“Right there!” you cry, digging your nails into his shoulders when his tip hits that spot inside of you. Yuta leans down and swirls his tongue around your nipple, blowing on the wet spot before switching sides. You can’t handle all the extra stimulation, your orgasm crashing over you instantly.

Yuta keeps fucking you through it, though he slows down enough that you can feel every inch of his cock as your walls flutter and clench around him. He leans down and licks at the blood on your chin, ending with a kiss that has you sighing into his mouth.

“Oh my god,” you sigh as he pulls out of you carefully and rolls to the side. Yuta reaches over and brushes your hair out of your eyes, smiling at you fondly.

“I’m so glad you came in for that tattoo,” he says, grabbing your hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. If you could blush, you would be doing it.

“You should be thanking Mark,” you giggle. “He’s the one that kept insisting we go into the shop.”

Yuta rolls his eyes, swinging his leg over yours until he’s above you again. You shrink under his gaze, your eyes closing as he playfully tugs at your nipples again. You moan softly, arching up into his touch. You can’t believe you’re getting turned on again so soon, but you’re not about to complain. “He can wait. I have a very pretty vampire under me that I need to take care of first.”

[gimmehyuck]

shoganai | n.yt

summary. (n.) something that cannot be helped, being unable to change or alter a situation.

or alternatively:

when you are sent up the mountain to be a sacrifice for the “greater good”, you knew you’d be falling to your death. you were wrong.

pairing. demon!yuta x human!reader feat. shapeshifter!jungwoo

words. 21.7k (i lost my damn mind writing this, oof)

genre. supernatural romance with bits of humor? i wanted to do this for halloween but it isn’t necessarily spooky so

warnings. blood, death (no major characters dw), one (1) suggestive scene, did i mention blood???, reader gaslights yuta at one point but it’s not srs, jungwoo is a cutie, yuta is a lil grumpy at first, technically slight religious themes?? he’s a demon idk

p.s. happy halloween, stay safe everyone :)

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

“you look beautiful,” your aunt purred to you as she admired your elegant hair she was working on. you didn’t respond vocally, only with a curt nod that you didn’t quite feel. staring at yourself, you couldn’t disagree. you had been staring at your reflection the entire day as she worked over you. your hair pinned perfectly into place with shiny jewels and pearls, and on any other day, you’d have been happy to be the object of such effort.

but not today.

your aunt seemed almost perturbed that you didn’t speak to her, but you didn’t feel the need to. you knew what today was, and you knew no amount of kicking, screaming, or arguing could change what was going to happen. you had already tried, countless times in the weeks leading up to that moment. and now that the day had finally come, you were left with nothing to feel except numbness.

your aunt had refused to meet your eyes the entire day, the one moment she had was by mistake through the mirror, causing her to quickly cover her small smirk with a mockingly sad frown. she even let slip a few tears, and you were impressed with her level of commitment to the act.

you were so detached from the situation that you hadn’t really, truly processed anything. you refused to look at anything else but your eyes in the mirror after that, as she went back to glittering you up as if you were a doll, humming as she did so.

as if you weren’t family to her.

maybe she never truly accepted you as such, maybe she really was happy to do this – her ego boosting tenfold as the one to be chosen to offer you up. finally finishing up with your hair, she placed both hands on your shoulders and leaned over one to smile at you in the mirror.

“come on, dear, let’s not dawdle any longer,” the tight grip on your shoulder unrelenting as she tugged you up. it felt out of body, the walk through the front door.

the sun didn’t feel warm on your face, the coolness of the day not reaching you either. the people of the town were all standing outside the front door, lined up in two lines like an aisle, the only person standing in the middle was the town mayor, who would be escorting you the entire way.

the people were cheering, and you were disgusted at how they were so damn happy. giving you flowers as you passed, falling to their knees in thanks to you, grabbing your hand as you passed. you found it grating, your aunt on the other hand soaking up the glory of the moment, but you still felt nothing.

they were thanking you for walking to your death, after all.

you didn’t believe anything really lived in the mountain that protected the people at the base of it, you only believed the people to be overly superstitious and you always scoffed when discussing the tradition in school. but boys in your school swore that they heard things in the mountains on silent nights and you never listened to their ghost stories, either.

you didn’t believe anything really lived in the mountain that protected the people at the base of it, you only believed the people to be overly superstitious and you always scoffed when discussing the tradition in school. but boys in your school swore that they heard things in the mountains on silent nights and you never listened to their ghost stories, either.

you didn’t believe anything really lived in the mountain that protected the people at the base of it, you only believed the people to be overly superstitious and you always scoffed when discussing the tradition in school. but boys in your school swore that they heard things in the mountains on silent nights and you never listened to their ghost stories, either.

you hated it but never thought you’d be here in this position, you were an orphan living with your aunt after your parents had passed and according to the law of the land, only parents could offer up their daughters.

you thought you were safe.

you never thought your aunt’s ambition to climb the social ladder would be this devious, and so you thought nothing of it when your aunt summoned you to the dining room that dreaded night.

“yes?” you responded as you sat across from her, your uncle, and your cousin at the wooden table.

“we have wonderful, wonderful news! news that i never thought we’d receive.” she was giddy, absolutely ecstatic to be giving you this information, but the looks on the other two at the table told you this wouldn’t actually be good news. you opened your mouth to ask, but she kept going, not letting you get the first syllable out.

“we’ve been chosen! isn’t that fantastic?” and your jaw dropped, eyes instantly darting over to your cousin who sat with her eyes trained on her hands that sat on the table.

“mina, oh my god, i’m so sorry,” you had genuine sadness for her sake, reaching across to take one of her hands in yours and she looked up with tears in her eyes. she only shook her head at you and pulled her hand from yours.

a line forming in between your brows at that, and you looked to your uncle for understanding but he was staring at something over your shoulder, refusing to meet your eyes. that left the only other person at the table, and her grin was wide as she reveled in your confusion.

“it’s not our mina, dear. you have been chosen. it’s an honor, wouldn’t you agree?” and you stood up quickly at that, sending the chair clattering to the floor behind you.

“that’s not possible, that’s against the law.” you argued, fear racing through your veins at this.

and your aunt’s grin turned evil in an instant.

“oh, but it’s already been read. and you know once it’s been read, it’s law. there’s no changing the decision.” your fear left you frozen in place, and your cousin left the table, too upset on your behalf to be around you anymore.

“you can’t do this…” you started to say but the simper your aunt was giving you made your sentence die in your throat.

“come now, y/n. let’s set the table for dinner,” your aunt said as if she hadn’t told you that you only had weeks left to live. at home in the following weeks, she had been the nicest to you in all the years she had been caring for you. once she walked out the front door though, she toned her smile back and made it appear more somber.

like the one she had given you in the mirror, and she walked with you down the makeshift aisle with her hand on your back. the people lined up like this until the edge of town, where the trodden dirt met the forest. a lone trail winding through the woods, the darkness of the forest making you lose sight of the pathway ahead, but you knew it would lead to a spot a good portion up the mountain.

the last two people, the two that stood closest to the trail were your cousin and uncle. your uncle gave you a solemn nod and then mina was suddenly throwing her arms around your neck. she held you tightly, and she cried into your neck. it was funny how she was crying for you, when you didn’t have it in you to do it for yourself.

“i’m so sorry, it should have been me and, please y/n… please forgive us, forgive me.” she sobbed in your ear and you, you, consoled her by wrapping your arms around her in a parting embrace. mina was ripped away from you, your aunt’s face turning red with rage at the sight.

“pull yourself together, you’re embarrassing me!” she hissed, her hands gripping both you and your cousins tight enough to hurt. your cousin looking at you with watery eyes and she stepped back into her place in line. it was tradition that they stay in their lines until you, the town mayor, and one family member had disappeared into the woods.

your aunt trying to prevent another embarrassment, quickly nodded to the mayor and he held up the bright lamp that would be your source of light through the woods – and she ever so roughly pushed you forward.

no time to waste, you sarcastically mused. the first step into the forest felt like taking step to the gallows.

you supposed it was all the same.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

the climb was exhausting, but you were in awe of how the clearing looked. the mouth of the cave seemed almost inviting and the flowers that grew in random patches danced in the breeze.

the mayor walked forward until the edge where the grass kissed the stone and he turned to you expectantly. you didn’t fight the expected push of your aunt, stepping in line with the mayor. he opened his book, the book where you would sign your name under the previous woman chosen before you.

you ignored him as he gave his spiel of how you should be honored to be chosen, how your sacrifice would be spoken of for years to come. how your loss of life would be keeping theirs safe.

you couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your throat, the sound coming out faster that you could have stopped it. the sound fully offending the mayor, and enraging your quick-tempered aunt. the pen was thrust in your face for you to take, the mayor frowning disappointedly at you – as if your lack of pride for what you were about to do was a blow to him. he opened the book, and you signed it fluidly.

you couldn’t help but throw the pen back at him – a last act of defiance – and he fumbled for a moment trying to catch it, and your aunt barked your name.

for the thousandth time that day, she gripped your elbow tight enough to cause pain and she dragged you to the mouth of the cave and you stumbled forward. staring into the entrance of the cave, you hesitated, you looked down and just as described, there was the drop – the darkness seemed alive, consuming all light hungrily.

this was it.

you turned around, to say something. anything at all.

but the words were caught behind your teeth. your aunt stood there smugness radiating from her, and she gathered you in her arms in a hug – but she was using the moment to disguise how she wanted to whisper in your ear.

“do tell your mother i said hello, won’t you?” she crooned in your ear and then leaned away from you, not wanting to miss the way your mouth fell open, before she shoved you forward for the last time.

you didn’t even scream as you fell, you just closed your eyes. the drop whipped your hair around your face, and you felt some of the ornaments in your hair coming loose and it made you smile.

you weren’t sure why but something told you to open your eyes, and you saw the moment you went from inky blackness to daylight again, as if you simply fell through clouds. this made your brain jump into overdrive trying to understand how that could be, and then you came to a sudden halt mid-fall and you couldn’t stop the woosh that left your lungs at the impact.

inhaling sharply trying to refill your lungs, you looked up at the shadow of what had stopped your fall and an overly bored face came into focus. he was handsome and you couldn’t deny that, something in the way his dark hair was long enough to curl around his face in a way that framed his dark eyes.

“the hell?” you shrieked, your face the definition of confused.

“mouthy,” he grunted. “i don’t like that.”  and in the next moment he dropped you in a heap on the ground. he dusted his hands and turned around to walk away from you.

okay, scratch handsome, he was a dick.

you stumbled to your feet, whipping your head around to take in the sight before you. the “sky” was blue, and there was sunshine but no sun or source to be seen. a waterfall flowed across the distance into a stream that cut across the clearing, and you were thoroughly stunned at the serenity of the scene.

you jogged to catch up to the man that caught you and you stood in front of him, blocking his path. his eyes which were focused on his destination slowly dragged down to look you in the eyes, utterly unamused. he quirked his eyebrow at you expectantly.

“what is this place?” you demanded an answer, sweeping your arms at the place that definitely shouldn’t exist.

“a mountain,” he deadpanned and made to step around you but you moved again to block his path.

“how is all of this possible? i must have fallen over a hundred feet, and there’s daylight.” you were trying desperately understand. he sighed as if he were quickly running out of patience with you.

“magic,” was his curt response, and another move to go around you was made.

“i-.” you opened your mouth, and closed it. taking a deep breath, you stepped once more in his path and he growled, the sound coming deep from his chest. his lips downturned and he crossed his arms.

“what do you want now?” he hissed at you.

“what’s your name?” you asked, matching his stance and crossing your arms.

“yuta. is that all, human?” you shook your head.

“who are you?” you pressed. and yuta moved to step closer to you, bending down just enough to be eye level with you.

his presence taking over your personal space.

“the demon you were just sacrificed to.” you audibly gulped at that and your eyes flew wide, the numbness you had felt before nowhere in sight now when you needed it the most.

“wh-what are you… going to do now?” you asked quietly gripping the fabric of your dress’s sleeve, and the fear didn’t go unnoticed by him. he could smell it all around you.

human emotions were so predictable, and he smirked at that.

“eat you,” you stumbled back a step, staring at his mouth as if you’d see fangs suddenly appear and he chuckled dryly before standing upright again. “that is… if you don’t leave me alone.”

he stepped around you and this time you didn’t step in front of him. you watched him walk into an opening, a door of sorts in the stone wall. once he was out of sight you let out the shaky breath you were holding and tried to run your fingers through your hair but when your fingers snagged on all the baubles still pinned in place in your hair you finally let yourself get upset.

you’d allow it for a moment.

holding back tears you’ve been repressing for weeks, you angrily tore the clips and pins out of your hair. you didn’t care that they were ripping out hairs in the process and you didn’t even flinch at the pricks of pain to your scalp. gathering them all in your hand you angrily threw them one at a time, yelling out a cuss word with every one you chunked across the clearing.

you ran out of cuss words before you did pins, and ran through them once more before you were done and you were breathing heavily, wiping your face of the few tears that snuck their way out of your eyes in the process. you flopped down on the grass, staring in the distance when a voice from behind you made you jump.

“feel better now?” you whipped your head to face the sound only to find yourself inches from the pink nose of a golden retriever. you crawled backwards on your hands away a foot, completely mute in shock. and then the reasoning caught up with you with a vocal ‘ahhh’, and you relaxed.

“i’m not going insane, i’m just dead,” you said aloud to the dog, and he tilted his head slightly. “i’m dead and this is the afterlife and the afterlife comes with an asshole of a man and a talking dog. that’s fine. i can live with that. yep. this all makes sense now.” you were rambling at that point but like you discovered, you were dead.

it didn’t matter.

you reached over and scratched the dog behind the ear. “at least i have a cute dog to keep me company, don’t i? do you have a name?”

“my name is jungwoo,” the dog answered, his tail wagging and you stalled again for a moment. a talking dog would take some getting used to.

“hello jungwoo, i’m y/n.” you stated and continued to scratch behind his ears, a small smile making it’s way to your lips.

the voice of the man – yuta – from earlier called to you from the opening where he had disappeared to before.

“you’re not dead, and jungwoo is not a dog.” he said, voice as gravelly as before. he was leaning against the opening, arms crossed again.

“yes i am… or i’ve gone insane, and,” you pointed at jungwoo, and raised your eyebrows at the demon. “he looks like a dog to me. besides, i thought you said for me to leave you alone, so why are you here?”

yuta pinched the bridge of his nose as if your voice alone gave him a headache and sighed heavily.

“you’re noisy. now jungwoo, stop being an affection whore.”

the answering whine that came from the dogs throat, and the pouty stomp from his back paw was somehow cute and he responded with, “but yutaaaa, you never cuddle or pet me, and she’s doing it without me even asking!”

yuta’s answering cocked eyebrow made jungwoo huff, grumbling something under his breath you couldn’t quite hear. yuta’s snort made you aware that he had, at least.

then jungwoo morphed right in front of your eyes and where the dog was a moment before, sat a man that wore the exact same smile as he had when he was a dog.

“aw,” you sang to him. “you’re just as cute as a human, jungwoo.” and jungwoo laughed happily, and turned to yuta to stick his tongue out childishly.

“she also thinks she’s insane.”

jungwoo turned his head to you, as if that had offended him and you shrugged in answer. you did think you were insane and jungwoo leaned over to pinch you on your side sharply.

“what the hell, jungwoo?” you yelped while rubbing at the area.

“see? you’re not dead. and you’re not insane. you were just sacrificed and your brain is trying to come up with a reason to make it make sense.” at the reminder of your day, you drew your knees to your chest and rested your chin on them. you looked past jungwoo and made eye contact with yuta.

“if you’re going to eat me, can you go ahead and get it over with?” you said lowly, the fight and defiance leaving you, and in between one blink and the next, yuta was crouching in front of you. his elbows on his knees, his head tilted slightly but that’s not what you stared at.

the whites of his eyes were gone, as were his dark brown irises. instead, his eyes were endlessly black, no other color present and you were utterly entranced by the depths of them.

“are you asking me to kill you?” he said, his usual gruff tone turning a little teasing.

“yuta!” jungwoo scolded. “you know you’re not going to eat her, now stop trying to scare her.”

yuta ignored his only friend down in the mountain and continued to stare into your eyes; it was as if he was looking through them into the heart of you, as if he were rummaging around trying to find your soul and you couldn’t blink even if you wanted to.

“interesting,” he murmured and blinked, finally releasing you from the trance and you blinked rapidly. the feeling of what transpired making you feel somehow emptier, and you rubbed at your chest to soothe the hollow feeling and furrowed your eyebrows in anger.

“never,” you ground out, “do that again.” the fire in which you spat the words actually shocked yuta, and you saw in your peripheral vision that jungwoo was following the conversation, head turning side to side almost comically.

“you felt that?” he asked curiously and you nodded.

“interesting,” he repeated as he stood upright. “definitely interesting.”

yuta turned and walked away again, this time seemingly distracted and jungwoo stood too, extending his hand to help you up. you dusted yourself off, and looked at him expectantly.

“come on, i’ll show you around.”

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

the cave seemed to be endless, but you discovered the light seemed to be localized to a small radius. various corridors and halls were carved out to be like a giant maze.

“but most of them will lead you right back here.” jungwoo was saying when you seemed alarmed by that fact. you hadn’t seen yuta in a few hours since jungwoo began his tour, and he ended the tour in the kitchen.

“i’m starving,” he complained as he rummaged in the cabinets for something to eat.

“demons need to eat?” you asked, curious. jungwoo mentioning earlier that yuta wouldn’t eat you, and you had been pondering over that ever since. “demons don’t need to eat, but they can. i’m not a demon though,” he said peeking around the open cabinet door to look at you. “i’m a shape-shifter.”

he finally found what snack he was looking and began munching, offering some of it to you which you took cautiously. you nibbled it at first, and when the flavor wasn’t terrible you fully bit into it.

“yuta’s a pretty good cook, huh?” he smiled at you across the island that stood in the middle of the kitchen.

“yuta made this?” surprise evident in your voice.

“shocked that i can?” yuta’s voice came from behind you, and you whipped around clutching your racing heart.

“stop doing that!” you hissed.

“i’ve been trapped here for a century, i’ve gotten good at a lot of things.” he said nonchalantly, and you noticed he seemed to enjoy leaning against walls.

you also noticed it was kind of attractive, and then you mentally slapped yourself.

“plus this place really is magic, it kind of always gives us what we need… which is funny considering it’s cursed…” jungwoo mused from behind you in between munches.

“don’t talk with your mouth full,” yuta grumbled at jungwoo, and then turned his attention to you.

“i came to ask you something,” and you nodded. you didn’t suppose you had anything to hide from the demon.

“why are you here?” the question was rude, but the way he said it made it come off as genuine curiosity.

“i was… chosen,” you chewed on the word like it was sour. “to be the sacrifice to appease whatever lives in the mountain, so… you.”

“yes, i know that much. i’m asking why you’re here now though, when no one has fallen in thirty years. i sent jungwoo ages ago to demand the towns to stop throwing random women into my home.” and your jaw dropped at that knowledge, your mind reeling.

“what?” you whispered, eyes searching for the lie in yuta’s face and it was set in a straight line.

“i have no reason to lie to you, human.” as if he read your mind, but you didn’t dwell on that. you were too focused on the news… because this was… impossible, wasn’t it? you gripped the counter tightly to steady you as you lost focus, mind reeling as it bounced from thought to thought.

it had been taught to you in school, every girl was always mentally prepared to possibly be offered up like a pig to the slaughter. they tried to disillusion every girl that it would be an honor, and of course it never worked. but this was unnecessary? you didn’t need to be thrown to your death…

had your aunt known the entire time? could she have been so evil? her last words coming to the front of your mind that you hadn’t had time to fully process yet.

‘do tell your mother i said hello, won’t you?’ and you couldn’t… you couldn’t breathe now. certainly she hadn’t meant it in that way, she couldn’t have… but the smile she gave you, the evil twist of her lips told you what you already knew.

something was pulling you from your thoughts and you lethargically realized you were being shaken, being pulled fully back to the present to focus with jungwoo’s concerned face taking up the majority of your vision.

“you need to breathe slowly, okay?” he commanded you gently.

you realized your breathing had become as erratic as your heartbeat, and even though you were actively trying to, you couldn’t calm down and it only made your breathing come in shorter and your eyes filled with more and more panic.

yuta gently pushed jungwoo aside and he was the only thing you could see now, your only point of focus and you let that tether you, let him be your anchor. his dark hair, his slight frown, and his once again somehow beautiful black eyes took up your space, and then slowly as if to not spook you or make you panic further, he brought his hand up to rest on your forehead, slowly moving it down to cover your eyes and they fluttered closed.

the sensation was immediate, gentle calm traveled from the crown of your head to the soles of your feet in soft waves until you could feel your heart beat become steady again. yuta removed his hand from your eyes, and his eyes were back to his normal brown. you thought you saw a flash of concern on his face but it was gone in a moment and you were sure you imagined it.

“thank you,” you whispered, eyes fixated on his now that he was this close. you found them pretty, actually. yuta stepped away from your personal space at that, at the vulnerability he saw there.

“humans are strange creatures, losing control of themselves like that.” he said coarsely.

you bristled at the insult and you opened your mouth to retort, to take back your thanks but jungwoo jumped in between you two.

“yuta don’t be an ass,” he said to the other man who only snorted before turning to you. “are you okay?”

“i’m…” you hesitated, then decided on the truth. “i think i just realized that my aunt tried to kill me with this… and i think… i think she may have killed my mom too.” both of the men stood stunned in shock, one far more expressive than the other. when they didn’t respond, you carried on.

“we… we were never told that we didn’t have to send someone up here. we never got word of that… and… my aunt – see, where i’m from, this whole thing is treated as this huge thing, something to be proud of. we’re doing our part in helping the people, we’re a hero, and the family that offers up the sacrifice is heavily compensated.”

“that’s… wow. horrible, especially since we never really asked for people to be tossed down here in the first place, there’s no way back out and it’s – wait, why do you think she killed your mom?” jungwoo questioned, tilting his head the way that he did as a dog.

“just… something she said to me before shoving me over the edge,” you said softly. jungwoo took that as you not ready to fully talk about it yet and accepting that as that.

“can i ask you something, then?” your question was directed at yuta, and his sole focus being on you was answer enough to go on.

“what happened to the other girls before you told them to stop sending them?” and that question finally evoked a strong emotion from yuta, you couldn’t tell if it was rage or sadness, or an even mix of both.

“they died,” was his short answer before he stormed out of the room.

died.

not killed.

not eaten.

you turned to jungwoo and his face showed just the sadness.

“he’s not heartless, he’s actually the opposite i swear. it’s just, he’s just… he feels guilty, i think.” his voice was solemn, feeling the need to defend his best friend, his eyes giving that of a kicked puppy.

“what do you mean?” jungwoo’s face turned somewhat pensive at your question.

“y/n, i need you to fully understand. there are parts of this mountain, alleys and corridors that you must stay away from. we’re… we’re not the only things living down here. and it would always either take them, or they would be thrown from the depths completely empty. a shell of what they were, something out of nightmares. so it’s not off-limits in the sense that you’re not allowed, it’s off-limits in the sense that once you’re too far deep, we can’t guarantee that we can get you back. we’ve never been able to before.” his warning was grave, and you took it seriously as you nodded. jungwoo continued, “that’s why he feels guilty, and seems a bit grumpy. he would try to keep them safe, and he failed every time. it felt like he lost a friend over and over. finally, he gave up altogether.” your heart ached in understanding for him, for them both.

and as you sat for a moment while you absorbed the information, jungwoo watched you. he was all too aware of the fact that yuta hadn’t gone very far as he explained things to you. jungwoo had been waiting for years for an excuse to say these words in a way that yuta could hear, he knew this had been eating him alive over time. yuta was a demon, yes, but jungwoo knew he was far from heartless like so many assumed of the damned.

“he can’t blame himself for their deaths if they didn’t die by his hand,” you thought aloud. and jungwoo was surprised at your response.

“i say the same thing,” he replied.

“but… why were we suggested to be tossed down here anyway?” the question arose and jungwoo shrugged at that.

“i don’t remember us ever asking for that, i think it had something to do with the curse but i’m not sure. there are some things that i still don’t know…” you didn’t take notice of the slight hesitation in which he gave his answer.

you were lost in thought for a long while at all the information you learned in such a short time, but something yuta said bubbled up to the surface of your mind and you whirled on jungwoo.

“yuta said he sent you out to tell them, so you can leave! why can’t you let me go?” excitement at the idea of possible freedom and his face fell at that.

“the curse only allows me to go so far – and there are different type of shape-shifters. i’m descendant of the ones who can only transform into creatures with four legs. and i’m not… strong enough to become anything bigger than a dog. i’m sorry.” and you shrugged casually.

“that’s okay, it was a long shot.”

jungwoo still looked upset on your behalf and you gently pushed his shoulder. “i’m okay with this, really.”

jungwoo narrowed his eyes at you. “you’re awfully well adjusted to everything… you’re not still thinking you’re insane, are you?”

you laughed and shook your head, then lifting one shoulder slightly, you responded. “i was orphaned as a child; i’ve been alone my entire life; i had three weeks to come to terms with being a snack for some creature. so i guess i just know it could be worse. i could be dead.”

he perked up at that, “that’s some kind of perspective, there.”

jungwoo was somehow happy that you were so fucked up that the company of them was an upgrade from what you were used to.

he just really hoped they could keep you alive.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

a week had passed since you fell, and you hadn’t really seen yuta. a pass here or there but he mostly just nodded or completely ignored your presence and it was starting to bother you. you huffed as much to jungwoo while you laid in the grass – you found that you enjoyed watching the magic clouds come and go, still baffled by how it worked.

“he doesn’t want to get close to you,” jungwoo answered, then he pointed out a cloud that looked a little like a heart, and you smiled, watching as it lost it’s shape moments later.

“was he close to the other girls that he… lost?” you asked.

“he wasn’t… close, per se. but he was friendly, he can be friendly, i promise. none of the girls lasted longer than a few weeks though.” jungwoo shrugged. then turned his head to squint suspiciously his eyes at you. “why? are you wanting to get close to him?” you felt the blood rise to your cheeks, and you sat up.

“that’s… that’s not what i meant! i’m… i mean i’m going to be down here until i grow old and die, he’ll have to stop pretending i exist eventually, right? i was just – i was really just curious, is all.” you stammered, and jungwoo chuckled at your expense.

“it would be a relief if he did though, might get closer to breaking the curse.” and you laughed, imagining the fairytales you were told as a child.

“is the curse broken by the power of friendship or something?” you said a tad sarcastically.

“or something.” yuta’s smooth voice came from your other side and you squeaked in surprise. sighing out in annoyance, you turned to look at him.

“i thought i asked you to stop doing that,” you said, taking in the fact that he appeared laying down, arms behind his head as if he was been there the whole time. maybe he had been, maybe invisibility is another demon thing. you didn’t know how any of this worked.

“no, you demanded i stop. there’s a difference.” he smirked at that, and you were shocked by the change in expression. it wasn’t the sarcastic smirk from before, this was warmer.

playful, even.

remembering that you had to respond, you cleared your throat.

“if i asked you to stop, would you?”

“mmm,” he thought it over for a moment, then turned his head to look at you and simply say, “nope.”

you groaned, rolling your neck back to look upwards, “but why?”

“because jungwoo doesn’t get startled anymore and i think it’s funny.” and jungwoo sighed at the mention of his name.

“it becomes predictable after awhile, trust me.” jungwoo said to you, cutting his eyes at yuta as he remembered the literal years it took for him to stop jumping every time yuta randomly appeared in front of him.

he didn’t mention the years part to you though.

“yeah but at this rate, i’m going to die of a heart attack because of him before whatever lives in the mountain can even get the chance to try to kill me.” you threw your hands up in exasperation and didn’t notice that jungwoo froze, glancing over at yuta to gauge his reaction at the nonchalance of how you spoke about it.

what jungwoo saw made his jaw drop entirely, and you noticed it from the corner of your eye. following his line of sight, you turned to look at yuta and you also froze.

he was smiling, and you felt the traitorous blush rise to your cheeks again because dear god, he was so pretty when he smiled.

“you should smile more often, yuta.” you blurted out before you could stop yourself and still smiling, he hummed.

“i’ll try,” he responded.

you and jungwoo were both pleased with that answer but for entirely different reasons.

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“hey woo?” you asked from the edge of the stream, your legs resting comfortably in the slow moving water. you had been watching him splash around as an otter for forty-five minutes before you couldn’t help but ask the question that you had been curious about. 

his head popped out of the water, and he let the stream carry him down to you. 

“yes?” using his little paws he scurried up your legs to curl himself in your lap. without thinking you brought your hands up to pet him. 

“do you ever wish you could turn into creatures that can fly instead?” 

“mmm,” he thought for a moment. “no, the idea of having a beak freaks me out.”

you snorted a laugh at that, “you’ve never wanted to feel free like that though?”

“i feel freedom differently, like by getting to run fast, or swim.” and you nodded in understanding but then he asked, “why? do you wish you could fly?”

you shrugged, “i think i would like to experience flying - not falling. i’ve already experienced that.”

“well if you wanna see what it’s like, why not ask yuta?” and you balked at that. 

“so yuta can fly and teleport? why do demons get the fun stuff? i want something cool.”

“technically it’s just levitating, i can’t get very high and i definitely can’t do it for very long.” yuta said, standing in a way that had him halfway over your body. his shadow blocking the daylight. you tilted your head back and narrowed your eyes at the man. “and humans do have something cool, it’s called mortality.”

“mortality? oh wow, we can die. how spectacular!” you snarked, rolling your eyes. he placed his hands on either side of your face, squishing your cheeks and effectively silencing you. 

“being able to die is a gift, living forever can drive you to insanity. especially if you’re alone.”

“but you’re not alone anymore,” jungwoo sang from his position in your lap. “you have meee.”

yuta’s answering smile made your heart skip, and you pulled his hands away from your cheeks so you could avoid looking at him and his pretty face, “i have no choice now, do i?”

and you looked at jungwoo just in time to watch his little otter face pout dramatically, and gasp. his little paw came up to his chest and he turned his nose up at yuta. 

“don’t be like that, you know i’m grateful for you.�� 

“you could stand to say it more, jerk.”

and you decided to butt in then, “yeah! you jerk!” fully taking jungwoo’s side in this mock argument. 

yuta raised his eyebrow at you, “oh?” he stood fully upright then, the shade he was providing moving away with him. “and here i was… gonna show you what it felt like to fly, but alas…” he trailed off dramatically, slowly walking away. “i’m a jerk.”

and careful to not jostle jungwoo too much, you scrambled to your feet, water sloshing to the bank in your hasty movements to rush towards him a few steps. 

“wait, no! that was all jungwoo, not me!” you pouted dramatically and had to fight off your smile when jungwoo huffed, “now you’re both jerks!”

“that’s not what i heard though,” yuta countered, sauntering back over to you, a smirk on his lips. you didn’t walk towards him as he approached, but you also didn’t move away. he was barely six inches from you now, jungwoo grumbling in your arms at him. 

“really? are you sure? where’s your proof?” 

“you just turned on jungwoo, i’m sure he could be my witness.”

you jerked your head down to make eye contact with the small shape-shifter and your eyes were threatening, “jungwoo definitely didn’t hear anything, did you jungwoo?” his answering squeak, followed by him burying his head into your shirt was all that you needed before lifting your head and throwing your own smirk at yuta. 

“see? no proof.” and yuta couldn’t help the smile even as he sighed.

after long moments, his small smile grew into a wide grin, as if he were keeping a secret from you and you raised your eyebrows at the expression. 

“why are you making that face?” 

his didn’t verbally answer, only making a point to look down, and then back up at you expectantly. you followed his lead and when you looked down you gasped. you didn’t know how you hadn’t noticed, maybe you had been a little too lost in the way his smile lit up his face, but somehow you were not firmly planted on the ground any longer. 

instead, both you and yuta were feet off the ground, high enough that if you fell, it would hurt. 

you felt a little unsteady in your shock and yuta reached forward to take hold of your elbows, your arms still cradling a currently oblivious jungwoo, and he closed the distance between you both. you were now as close to each other as you could get without squishing jungwoo and he was gazing down at you, and even if you could, you didn’t want to break the eye contact. 

“do you feel like you thought you would?” he asked softly, his eyes flickering down to your lips, happy with the excited smile he saw there. you weren’t sure if you were answering the question about feeling free from being airborne, or if you were answering your internal question that you had been asking yourself for days in regards to him. 

“yes,” you whispered, answering both questions with one word. his eyes crinkled, the satisfaction from your answer shining on his face.

you meant it when you said you thought he should smile more, and you couldn’t help that you liked that you had been the cause of it. 

“does what feel like she thought it would?” came jungwoo’s voice from the crook of your arm. he had finally poked his head out to try and see what the conversation was about, and when he realized that you were no longer on the ground he instantly started squirming. 

“let me down, let me down, so help me if you drop me!” he was yelling but his voice was so small in his otter body that it did not intimidate either of you in the least, instead you giggled at him and started the pet him soothingly. 

“if you don’t calm down,” you crooned to him sweetly, “i may drop you on accident.”

the shape-shifter stilled instantly. 

“oh… i think he fainted.” yuta realized after a second, and you had to bite your lip to keep from laughing at the situation.

yuta glanced back down at you and he couldn’t help but think about how lovely you looked when you were content, and that you should smile more often, too.

then realizing his own thoughts, he shoved the thought back down into the box it popped out of.

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the slight personality change in yuta didn’t revert back to what it was before, grumpy and aloof, even though you expected it to. it wasn’t a complete 180 to constant friendship, but you’d take the 90 degrees of change where you could, especially the smiles that came with it.

another week had passed, and you spent most of it with jungwoo. yuta popping up more and more in random times, always making you jump out of your skin. you were thoroughly enjoying the friendship they gave you that you never had before. it made you laugh at the idea that humans never treated you as kindly as a shape-shifter did, and occasionally a demon when he decided to pop up.

your aunt had taken you in, sure, but it wasn’t out of the kindness of her heart and you knew that now. your uncle wasn’t mean to you, but mostly treated you as if you were invisible. mina was the closest thing you could call friend, but you knew it was mostly her guilt that made her act the way she did with you.

you lost both parents by the age of six, your father first and then your mother. you had been young when it happened, but you still remember watching your father fade away from the sickness that made it’s way through the town. and your mother… she had just disappeared. her body found some time later after her disappearance, and you weren’t given proper time to grieve.

at this point, you didn’t think you needed it anymore. twenty-ish years had passed and that was enough to bury everything deep enough that you didn’t see the point in bringing it back up. for your sake, mostly.

it was yuta who made you realize that there actually was a point in it, also for your sake.

you had found a random room to escape to, the random door which had previously been a bathroom was now a room with every sort of hobby you could imagine. books, paint brushes, pencils, you even found a basket of yarn and knitting needles, which had a beginner’s book placed perfectly on top and you, well… you had years. might as well start somewhere, hobbies did tend to pass the time.

sitting cross legged in the oversized velvet chair, you propped the book open in your lap while you fiddled with the yarn and needles.

“you’re doing that wrong,” yuta’s voice came from the across the room and you lifted your head to see him standing in the doorway, his casual stance of holding up the wall as per usual.

“oh, and you’re an expert at knitting, i assume?” you smiled at him, and he crossed the room. pulling the chair next to yours around to face you, he plopped down in the chair.

“i told you, i’ve gotten good at a lot of things.” he said with a wink, before he softly took your hands in his.

you were trying to ignore both the warmth of his hands, and the warmth of your cheeks and failing miserably. his hands went through the motions of the loops you were trying to learn with yours, but you couldn’t even focus on that.

instead, you studied him, the way his hair fell in his face, and the movement of his mouth as he explained where exactly you went wrong. when you didn’t respond to him, he looked up to find you utterly in awe of him, mouth slightly agape.

“you’re not paying attention,” if he was scolding you, it was too gentle to mean anything.

“yes i am,” you argued back, eyes dancing between his.

“then what did i just say?” he retorted smartly, and you searched your brain for the first thing that made sense.

“knit one, purl two,” you rushed out and he laughed, the sound just as captivating as his face.

“not quite, but close enough,” and you shook your head then, fully focusing on his hands that had now stilled with yours in between his.

the realization that you didn’t want him to move his hands from yours struck you, and then you mentally smacked yourself. after an internal struggle you finally tugged your hands from his grasp, and coughed awkwardly.

“um, so it goes like this?” you asked a bit shy now and yuta sat back in his chair, and nodded. he watched you for some time, admiring the way that even though he knew you were distracted by him, you still caught on rather quickly.

then his voice broke the comfortable silence that had settled over you.

“you know if you don’t deal with it eventually, it’ll eat you alive.” it was cryptic and you lifted your head to look at him quizzically.

“i’m sorry?” you asked, and he sat forward again.

“you’ve been here two weeks, and i haven’t seen you cry except for half a second the first day. not saying you need to be emotional, but… i think jungwoo cries more than you.” he played it off as a joke, but you didn’t know how to answer him right away.

“i… i don’t think it’s necessary, i guess.” and you found the needles to be awfully interesting.

“and why not? you lost your parents and you were lied to. your aunt tried to quite literally murder you, and now you’re stuck down here with jungwoo and i for the rest of your short human life, never really being free again. you’ll die down here, instead of getting to live a normal human existence. you’ll never speak to another human again. your aunt is going to get away with –“ he listed off and would have kept going if you hadn’t cut him off with a glare.

“i know all of that!” you snapped, and he leaned back for the second time, crossing his ankle over his knee.

“then why aren’t you upset?”

“because what will that change?” you cried, voice raising slightly. “i’m not getting out of here so what will getting angry or sad do for me now? i can’t go in the past and change anything, i learned that lesson a long time ago, yuta. i can’t bring my parents back, i can’t get answers from my aunt, i can’t get out of this mountain even if i wanted to, so please, tell me! what good will it do me now to dwell on it?”

he didn’t say anything for a long moment, giving you the chance to let it out. you didn’t realize that in between one sentence and the next that you actually had started to cry. the warm tears dripped from your cheeks on to your hands and you brought your hands up to wipe angrily at them, cursing your body for betraying you like this.

“you need to dwell on it so you can let it go. if you don’t, it’ll eat you alive.” he repeated, you knew he was trying to be kind in his own way, to maybe be supportive, but you hadn’t prepared your heart or mind for this today.

so, like a scared and cornered dog, you bit back instead.

“and when are you going to dwell on yours as well, huh?” you said, tears still steadily sliding down your cheeks to now land on the book below. “when are you going to deal with your guilty conscience for all the girls that have died down here, being sacrificed for a curse they had no part of?” and yuta inhaled slowly, closing his eyes.

“i’ll live for a millennia longer than you will, i’ll be sure to deal with it once you’re dead.” the warmth from before was gone, his eyes hard as they glared at you.

the stare down between you two lasted for only a few seconds before he got up from his chair and left the room without a word, the door shutting behind him with a thud that echoed around the room.

in an outburst of anger, you threw the knitting book against the door he had just left through and screamed. you wiped at your tears again and sat back fully in the chair, and sulked for a moment. you let your breathing even out and the realization dawned on you that he was right.

even just dealing with everything for those few moments, allowing yourself to really get angry, to get upset… to feel it.

you needed it.

and now, you blew out a long breath as you ran your fingers through your hair, you also needed to apologize.

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it took two days to finally corner yuta, but you did so in the kitchen. jungwoo had tipped you off that he’d be in there and you didn’t waste any time. you barged into the kitchen and he looked up, surprised to see you in there. you weren’t sure why he seemed shocked by your presence, when he was the one avoiding you.

“what-!” he started, you were sure to probably say something sarcastic to you, the soft moment in the craft room between you - before the anger derailed it - probably long forgotten.

“i’m sorry!” you blurted out, before he could get another word out. “i’m sorry for the way i blew up at you. you didn’t deserve the things that i said to you, that wasn’t fair of me and you were right.”

yuta opened and closed his mouth for a moment, and you felt this was probably the first time in a long time that the demon had been speechless.

“i shouldn’t have pressed,” he finally settled on, and you shook your head.

“you were trying to help me, thank you.”

he shrugged half-heartedly, seemingly embarrassed by what had transpired.

“you were right too,” he finally confessed. “we both seem to have things we need to let go of.”

the smile you shared with each other was all the forgiveness that was needed.

then the moment was effectively ruined when jungwoo appeared right beside you, clapping slowly. his sudden presence making you jump a foot in the air, hand over your heart as it raced and you glared angrily at him. you really needed to get used to this sooner rather than later, for your hearts sake.

“i love to see personal growth, don’t you?” jungwoo remarked happily, and you punched him in the arm at that making him gasp in offense, rubbing where you hit to make the pain fade quicker.

you grumbled at him but he ignored it entirely, throwing an arm around your shoulders, shaking you slightly in his excitement.

“just makes me so proud to see it,” he fake sobbed, and yuta’s face was the definition of unamused. “i feel like a mom, my babies maturing so beautifully.” and at that yuta threw the spoon he was holding at jungwoo’s head, hitting him squarely in the forehead, and jungwoo���s smile fell from his face instantly.

“okay, for that, you’re going to have to make me my favorite now.” and you snorted at the way yuta rolled his eyes.

you were happy to be past this. this is what you could only assume what a family felt like, they… they felt like family.

you could get used to that. perhaps you already had. two weeks in and you knew you wouldn’t willingly give it up.

your inner musings were interrupted when you heard jungwoo calling your name, and you looked up to find him and yuta already staring at you.

“sorry, what?”

“i asked what your favorite things are, because i’ll force yuta to make it for you too.” jungwoo said as he hooked his thumb over his shoulder to point it at said cook.

“hey!” yuta was indignant, he was wanting to make something for himself, not for the entire mountain.

“i don’t really have a favorite, but you can’t go wrong with cookies,” you proposed with a shrug of your shoulders.

“oh, the human wants cookies,” yuta mocked, twisting his face in playful annoyance.

at that you decided to tease him. you walked over to the counter and hopped on top, swinging your legs as you did so.

“i do, in fact, i want five different flavors of cookies. and not even remotely burnt, or i’ll throw a tantrum,” you sang, and yuta turned around to gawk at you. jungwoo coming to lean against the counter beside you, enjoying the banter.

“five?!” yuta exclaimed, and you nodded slowly.

“yup, five.”

“you’ll get one and you’ll like it,” he griped, and you stuck out your bottom lip. the exaggerated expression making jungwoo cover his mouth with his hand to try and muffle his laughs.

“three then?” you argued cutely, and yuta and he rolled his eyes at your antics.

“one.” his lips were drawn in, trying to avoid laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

“but… please…” you gave your best impression of jungwoo’s puppy eyes and yuta caved instantly.

“fine! i’ll make three different kinds of cookies,” he said throwing his hands up, before bringing his finger to point at you. “but only one will be your favorite. the others will be mine and jungwoo’s.”

jungwoo snickered at the tone, and yuta directed his finger to point at jungwoo then.

“and you, will only be getting this and nothing else, don’t get greedy.” jungwoo only nodded, happy with anything that yuta made that fed him. he really wasn’t picky.

he could say with confidence, greed was not his sin.

jungwoo eventually hopped on the counter too, and you both watched as yuta walked back and forth across the kitchen, the island he was standing at slowly turning into a mess of flour and sugar and other ingredients strewed over the counter space. eventually jungwoo yawned and turned himself into a cat, curling up in your lap that seemed to be his favorite resting spot.

you pet him absentmindedly as you admired the way yuta worked. it was funny to you that this scary demon who was trapped in this cave could do the most domestic things.

knitting.

baking.

what was next, gardening?

yuta’s hands and arms were covered in flour and you noticed that he kept tilting his head back to adjust his hair, the way it was falling in his eyes obviously bothering him, but couldn’t push it back without getting the powder everywhere.

“yuta?” you called softly, not wanting to disturb the comfortable silence nor the sleeping cat in your lap.

“hmm?” was his reply.

“is your hair getting in your way?”

he shrugged nonchalantly, “it’s fine, little human.”

you bit your lip for a moment, took a deep breath and then offered, “would you like me to tie it up for you, since you’re covered in flour?”

yuta didn’t say anything for a long moment, his shoulders a little stiff and then he relaxed them before he turned around. he closed the distance between you in a step, coming to stop directly in front of you.

you were now almost eye level with the man, the counter giving you the smallest height advantage.

you waited for him to turn around, but he was gazing at you expectantly. fighting off the smile that threatened to appear on your lips, you brought your hands up to run your fingers through his hair as a makeshift brush. you felt his eyes on your face, and when you glanced over you saw he seemed to be studying you closely, his eyes trailing across your nose to your mouth.

when you noticed his gaze land on your lips, you quickly looked back at your hands. you gathered his hair in your hand and it was enough to make a small ponytail, and you saw from the corner of your eye that yuta had finally stopped gazing at you and had closed his eyes. now that they were closed, you took your turn to take in the features of your face as you pulled the tie from your pocket, the extra strip of cloth you carried around in case you needed to pull your own hair up.

he looked peaceful when his eyes were closed, and although you preferred his smile over anything else, the serenity on his face was a close second.

“and… there.” you whispered as you tied the fabric tightly so none of his hairs would fall loose back into his eyes. you went to pull your hands back but froze midair when yuta opened his eyes again, his eyes peering intently into yours.

again, it was like he was searching for something and you noticed the second he found it, his eyes lit up slightly and you didn’t know why but it caused you to smile.

he noticed your lips again as they turned up slightly, and as if he finally realized for the first time how close he was to you, he coughed and stepped back to create space between you.

the human is dangerous when she looks like that, he thought.

“thanks.” he said shortly, moment gone entirely and he turned his back on you, continuing to work on the food.

“you’re welcome,” you grumbled and put your hands back to work petting jungwoo softly, and you looked down to see him already looking up at you.

then he winked at you, and you immediately narrowed your eyes at him.

“i will shove you to the floor,” you mouthed silently to him.

jungwoo’s small cat body just shook with silent laughter.

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you were shivering, the room feeling as if it were below freezing and your thin set of pajamas did nothing to fight off the bite of the cold. you rubbed your hands together and tried to breathe hot air on your hands to warm them, but your breath came out cold too. you looked around your room, and you realized this wasn’t the room in which you fell asleep in.

the bed was missing, as was the nightstand that stood beside it. the room you were in now was empty, the only thing in it was you.

the walls were lined in floor to ceiling mirrors and you could only see your reflection no matter which way you turned. you didn’t know how you got here, all you knew was that you wanted to leave. you walked to the wall and ran your hands along the mirror hoping to find a secret handle or exit but the mirrors were so cold it burned you and you jerked your hand back to cradle it against your chest, you couldn’t help the weak whimper that left your lips.

the silent room was eerie and you wanted to leave.

“y/n,” a voice was suddenly saying behind you and you whipped around to see nothing at all.

“wh-wh-who are y-you?” you called through chattering teeth, your entire body chilled to the bone now. you remembered learning something about dying from the cold in school but for the life of you, you couldn’t remember a single thing on how to fight it.

“who else would i be?” the voice whispered in your ear this time, and when you whirled around the owner of the voice was still there. standing directly in between you and the mirror was a face you hoped you’d never see again.

the smile that rested on your aunt’s face sent chills down your spine, this time from fear instead of the cold that already consumed you – but anger shoved the fear aside.

“ho-how are y-you here?” you couldn’t stop your teeth from chattering no matter how hard you tried, but you tried to give your voice as much bite as you could, wanting to sound strong in front of her.

but the though that you had no clue how you got here constantly sat at the back of your mind, and you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t terrified.

“’ho-how are y-you here?’” she taunted, reaching up to tug at a strand of your hair. then she crooned, “i’m here to finish the job, because no one in your family knows how to die properly the first time i try.”

“th-they won’t let y-you,” you sniped, but body betraying you by taking a half step back. and your aunt pouted at you, mock understanding on her face.

“oh, you think they care about you? the demon and the shape-shifter? you think they care about what happens to you? you’re a means to an end and nothing more. a free ticket out of here,” and you shook your head, in denial of what she spat at you. she barked out a laugh, before thrusting out her hand to grab you by the throat. she flung you around to press you roughly against the wall, you clawed at her hands to try and get them to release you. you were struggling to breathe.

“i’m no… no different from the other girls that were th-thrown down here, there’s no escaping the m-mountain,” you said against your better judgement, trying to fight down the panic that came from not being able to breathe deeply.

“sweetie, you’re the only one who is different, it’s in your blood,” she disclosed.

“yu…ta… please…” you wheezed hoping that maybe he did care enough to help you, vision growing dark around the edges.

“you should ask your precious yuta about the curse. ask him and see if he really cares about you then.” she sneered, face inches from yours.

you gasped awake, yuta yelling your name to try to get through to you. you were standing in the clearing, dull moonlight washing over the area making it look bleak but it threw light on yuta’s face, revealing the look of fear he wore. his worried eyes searched your tear-filled ones frantically, and you could spot jungwoo over his shoulder wearing the same look. you were still cold, and if you were honest – very scared, and you couldn’t shake the feeling of your aunt being over your shoulder, being in your face.

your body betraying you once again, you felt your face crumple. you hid yourself in yuta’s chest then, your hands covering your face as you cried.

he froze, unfamiliar with how to respond to the sudden human physical affection when he saw jungwoo motioning behind him, his hands enclosing in slow motion as if he were hugging an invisible person. he mouthed the words, ‘hug. her. back.’ and he emphasized each word with a jab in your direction and yuta finally got the hint.

his arms enveloped you gently and you buried yourself further into his arms, and he rested his cheek on the top of your head as he swayed you slightly.

“you’re safe now, it’s okay. i’m – we’re here now.” he murmured to you softly, still unsure of what just happened. all he knew was that he was asleep, not that he needed to be but it passed time, and then he felt the tug of being summoned – something he hadn’t felt in a very long time – and suddenly he was standing in front of you, jungwoo getting there a few moments after him. you were grasping at something in front of you, your lips blue as if you had been out in the snow, arms struggling like you were being strangled. he heard you say please, the desperation in your voice leading him to act. the second he touched your arms you woke up with a gasp and he had never felt more scared to see the fear in your eyes.

he decided then that he never wanted to see that look from your face again.

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from that night on, you refused to sleep alone (more like you weren’t allowed to). yuta and jungwoo would take turns watching over you as you slept. usually jungwoo would sleep at your feet, curled up in whatever form was cuddliest. some nights a cat, others a dog. on nights jungwoo didn’t, you slept in yuta’s room effectively kicking the demon out of his own bed.

he didn’t mind.

the bruises that showed up on your throat the next day was enough for him to make sure you didn’t go to sleep alone.

you were so spooked by the events that you hardly spoke the next day, and the far away look thoroughly worried both of the men you shared the mountain with. eventually you went back to your normal, playful self but yuta wasn’t convinced, you acted somewhat more reserved than you had before. he didn’t miss the way you’d wince every time you swallowed as the bruises on your neck healed. you didn’t tell them of what your nightmare was about, or even drop hints. that was until the night it was yuta’s turn to keep an eye on you.

you were laying on your side, blankets pulled up to your chin as you watched him read a book. his hair was tied back again and you watched as the shadows flickered across his face from the light the fire gave off.

“i can feel you staring at me,” he murmured, not taking his eyes off of his page. you were completely unaware to the fact that he had read the same line for the past five minutes.

“will you tell me about the curse?” you asked, voice small. he looked up at that, eyebrows drawn together.

“why are you asking about that?”

“it… it’s nothing.” you said breaking eye contact with him and he shook his head.

“no, i’m – i’m not saying that because i don’t want to talk about it, i’ll tell you. ’m just curious about what brought this up.”

“it’s… it’s what was said in my… my dream...” he nodded, and scooted his chair a little closer to the edge of the bed.

“before we were cursed here in this mountain, us demons roamed free. they probably do still and you just didn’t know it. i enjoyed traveling then, country to country, town to town. it was in one of these towns that surrounds this mountain that i stayed at a moment to long, i think. a woman fell in love with me, and, well… i didn’t do the same. i broke her heart, but i didn’t realize she was a witch and so she cursed me to this mountain. i’ve been here ever since.” and you could only stare at him, then slowly sat up.

“you mean to tell me... you and jungwoo… and now me… are trapped here because you rejected some woman?” you were incredulous at that.

“well… not just any woman, a pretty powerful witch. but… yeah.”

“the fuck?”

“yeah, that was my response then too.”

“how do you break the curse?” you asked, and yuta shook his head then.

“it’s very old blood magic, something you need not concern yourself with.” yuta’s voice was soft, and you couldn’t help the flutter you felt in your stomach at the look he gave you. you dropped it for the time being, laying back down and pulling the blanket back up. the fluttery feeling not going away even as you closed your eyes.

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you were freezing again, the room of mirrors back after not seeing it for over a week. you wanted to cry at the first glimpse of it, panic overriding your brain. you turned in circles, and when you whirled around the second time, there she was.

“did you miss me?” she grinned as you shook your head, this time she was circling you like a hyena. “did you ask him about the curse?” when you didn’t respond to her, actively trying to keep the angry look plastered on your face, she snaked around to your front to peer into your eyes – a weird malicious sense of happiness on her face.

“you did… oh, and he gave you every answer but the one you needed… it’s a shame.”

“what are you talking about?” you growled at her, you never were fond of riddles.

“i’m talking about the point where he mentioned blood magic,” she said as she suddenly gripped you by the front of your shirt, yanking you closer to her face, her long nails scratching you along your collarbone, “and about how he doesn’t have the one piece of information to prove he won’t care about you in the end.”

your eyes searching hers frantically for answers, and you finally asked, “what information? what is it?”

your aunt pulled you close, directly against her cheek as she put her lips to your ear and whispered, “your last name is a very old one, no? what was it again?” and then she threw you both away from her and out of sleep at the same time. you gasped awake, fully upright once more, and yuta became alert instantly in the same chair he was in when you fell asleep.

“what happened? are you okay?” he was by your side on the bed in an instant, placing a finger under your chin to make you look up at him from your hands so he could search your face for any marks.

“it’s… in these dreams i keep seeing my aunt. she… she tells me that even though I’m here and you seem happy that i’m here, neither you nor jungwoo really care if I’m alive or dead…” you trailed off, wrapping your arms around yourself, you didn’t know why this shook you so deeply but then the thought filtered through, it’s because you care about them, and how they view you. you focused on yuta when you saw that he was already shaking his head before you had even finished your sentence.

“that’s not true… we care. you know we care about you.” you nodded slowly.

“i…” you started and then, remembering the last thing she said to you, confusion filling your voice as you whispered your last name aloud.

“what?” yuta asked, he heard you, of course he did, but… he wanted to be sure he heard correctly.

you repeated your last name again, this time louder – looking up at him. “does that name mean anything to you?”

and the look that crossed yuta’s face was indiscernible. that wasn’t promising for you.

“it was… no, why do you know that name?” yuta asked, too calm to be reassuring. “how do you know that name?”

when you didn’t answer right away, yuta asked again, his voice coming out more stressed that time, almost pleading and you didn’t know what for.

“y/n, how do you know that name?” and the direct eye contact you made with him, told him the answer before your mouth did.

“because that’s my name… my last name.” yuta inhaled sharply, eyes wide. pulling his hands back and leaning away from you as if you burned him. he stared at you, his eyes wide as if he didn’t recognize you for moment and he seemed upset, maybe even angry. then he was out of the room in the next moment, slamming the door behind him loud enough to make you jump.

this must have been what your aunt had meant. but you still didn’t know what it meant.

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the answer to what it meant came three days later. it didn’t surprise you that yuta didn’t keep you company after his outburst. you weren’t sure why he was so upset, and it bothered you not knowing but the demon hid well when he didn’t want to be found. jungwoo didn’t ignore you as yuta did, but it didn’t go unnoticed by you that he had been a lot quieter around you than was normal for him. it seemed that the mood had settled over the whole mountain, the sky grey and dark.

you didn’t like the feeling of having upset someone without knowing what you did, and you finally couldn’t stand it anymore. you were going to find him, and you were going to make him talk to you.

standing up, you made to leave your room, walking to the door. when you turned the handle, it didn’t budge. confused, you tugged on it again and it still wouldn’t move. you stepped back from the door, and movement caught your attention from the corner of your eye. turning you noticed a door had appeared across your room that you had never seen before, because it hadn’t been there.

right, magic, you thought.

light spilled through the cracks at the bottom and that was the movement you saw before, as someone was walking back and forth in front of the door. voices murmuring was all that you could make out and your curiosity had you moving to the mystery door before you had the thought of avoiding it entirely.

when your hand touched the wood of the door, something overtook your body, bringing your ear to rest against the door. the hold was gentle but still restricting. you tried to fight against the force holding you against the door, struggling to move until the mention of your name had you stilling. you didn’t need to be held against the door then, finding yourself trying to listen harder.

the voices that you heard were no longer murmurs, clearing up as if you stood directly in front of them, as if they were speaking directly to you.

 “leave me alone, jungwoo,” it was yuta and he sounded… tired… sad.

“no.” jungwoo’s voice was angry, that was the only word for it. “you’ve been avoiding her, and me, for three days. i’m not leaving until i get an answer.”

yuta was silent, and jungwoo growled in response to it. “don’t use your eyes on me like that, it’s not going to work.”

“what do you want from me then, jungwoo?” yuta’s voice raised a little.

“an answer! what the hell happened that night?” yuta’s silence only seemed to make jungwoo all the more frustrated.

“yuta!” he barked at him, and you heard the sound of a chair being slid suddenly against the wood floor. you could only assume that yuta had been seated, and was now standing. maybe standing directly in front of jungwoo, maybe he was pacing now.

“it’s her,” yuta’s voice was distraught.

“that couldn’t possibly be any more cryptic,” jungwoo’s response was dripping with sarcasm, and yuta pressed on, his clarification being your last name.

“what?” you could imagine jungwoo’s face dropping in shock, it would be comical but this situation was anything but.

“that’s her, it’s her,” and yuta sounded defeated.

“oh.” and jungwoo’s tone matched yuta’s. “that’s the same as… oh, that’s fucked.”

“yeah.”

“what are you going to do then? you can’t, you can’t… but… to be free…”

“i know that i can’t! i know what’s at stake, for us and for her.”

“maybe… maybe it doesn’t have to be that much blood, maybe it can just be-.” did jungwoo lie to you? had he been lying the entire time when he said he didn’t know much about the curse? his responses let you know that he clearly knew more than he had originally let on.

“you know that’s not the way blood magic works.” yuta’s voice was softer than you had heard it before.

“but we don’t know that, it only said blood from the bloodline, it’s doesn’t say it has to be a lot!”

“there’s no point, jungwoo. i’m not going to ask that of her, i will not hurt her and i will not kill her just so we can leave this place.” you jerked away from the door as if it had shocked you with a gasp, mind reeling. you felt like you did the first day here, breath getting caught in your throat. the bottom line that you had learned… was that you had to bleed.

the key to breaking the curse was what kept you alive. you didn’t know what your name had to do with any of it. you didn’t know why it had to be you, because bloodline of what? the gears in your mind turning over as you put the clues together to make a solid thought.

were you… were you descendant of the witch?  

was that why none of the other girls who had already died before you couldn’t have been their ticket out?

you felt a hysterical giggle bubble up your throat, and then you swallowed it down. covering your mouth with your hand, your mind devolved wildly until it came to a screeching halt on one thought alone, the bottom line.

you were sent here to die anyway.

you became too comfortable with the two immortal men, and that was your own fault. but how could you not?

you didn’t want to admit it but… your aunt was right. she was cruel, vile and not even actually there, she was just a figment of your nightmares and she was still… right.

that infuriated you. the idea that you might have been remotely content, away from everyone who you grew to resent above, feeling as if you belonged here… just to know that they’d now be counting down the days until you died, if they didn’t decide to change their minds first… that devastated you.

and that sole emotion was what led you from the room, the bedroom door that refused to open earlier, opening for you as you approached it. you followed the maze, body moving entirely on its own, the path you knew would take you to the kitchens and when you arrived, you just stood in the empty room.

you didn’t know what led you here, all you knew was that your feet walked of their own accord. your eyes caught a glint of silver and you zeroed in on it. the idea worming it’s way into your head almost against your will, something you had never thought of before. and now it was on repeat as you stepped closer, completely out of your control.

the knife block sat on the island, and you started to panic internally at how out of control of your own body you felt. you reached out to pull a knife from it’s place, the sound of it sliding out echoed around the room.

do it, your thoughts kept repeating to you. the more they repeated, the more they stopped sounding like you and more like your aunt.

do it. you lifted the knife slowly.

do it. you could see your reflection in the steel.

do it. you moved –

“y/n!” the sudden shouting of your name made you jump, but effectively broke whatever spell you were under. the knife jerked awkwardly in your hand after being startled and the blade sliced a thin line on your palm causing you to hiss at the sting.

red drops of blood pooled to the surface, and a tight grip on your wrist made you drop the knife clang onto the counter. you inhaled deeply for what must have been the first time since entering the kitchen. the hand gripping your wrist used it to pull you around, coming face to face with the man who had been avoiding you for three days.

“are you crazy? the hell are you trying to do?” his voice was raised, but it wasn’t in anger. it was worry.

“i… i don’t know…” you stammered, unable to form a sentence, still confused at how you really got here. he searched your face for the lie and only found unease.

“come on,” he said softly and pulled you to the sink, gently putting your hand under the running water. you hissed again softly at the pain.

“well, yeah… what did you expect, for it to feel good?” his asked sarcastically as he turned off the water and began wrapping your palm with a bandage.

“i don’t even – i wasn’t in control of myself…” you muttered, that fact concerning yuta but then you continued, “but, why are you here? wouldn’t this be what you need?” you argued and you peered up at him, and his eyes widened slightly at the question.

“what do you mean?”

“you’ve been avoiding me and i heard you and jungwoo earlier.”

“how did you-, ah, magic.”

“yeah, magic.”

“if you heard the conversation then you know that a few drops won’t do anything,” yuta glanced up from your hand to look you in the eye, quirking an eyebrow.

“but…”

“and you also would have heard how i said i would not hurt you in exchange for freedom.”

“i heard that part…” you finally muttered after searching for a different response and coming up empty. he had finished with your hand moments ago but continued to hold it in his. his eyes didn’t drift away from yours.

“and, if you would have listened for a just a minute longer, you would have then heard how i couldn’t do that because i care too much about your wellbeing. care too much about you.”

“why would you give up your freedom for… for me. you said you enjoyed traveling, and you’ve been stuck here for so long, you shouldn’t give up that…” you trailed off and he was already shaking his head before you even started to speak.

“i’ve been happier in these past few weeks since you’ve arrived than I had in the years before the curse, i’d rather be trapped down here with you than be free without you.” your eyes started to water, but you didn’t want to pull your hand from yuta’s to wipe at them. yuta must have read your mind because his other hand came up to wipe at them for you. the happiness you felt at his words was fleeting.

“but you were avoiding me… and that isn’t fair to jungwoo,” you said dropping your eyes from his.

“jungwoo is fine with it, he goes where yuta goes. and yuta was pouting about his feelings for you,” said man’s voice came from the kitchen door and you both turned to face him, and yuta was thankful for the darkness of the kitchen that you couldn’t see his ears turning red.

he smiled at you both, and relief washed over you like a tsunami.

you threw your arms around yuta’s waist and squeezed him tightly. and he did not hesitate nor need direction from jungwoo this time, his arms immediately wrapping around you.

after a few moments, jungwoo threw himself into the hug, coming behind yuta and wrapping his arms around you both. the taller man snuggled into yuta’s back and you couldn’t help but laugh at the straight-faced look on yuta’s face.

“don’t forget you were my best friend first, just because she’s here now,” jungwoo pouted and you felt yuta pat jungwoo’s hand that rested on your back.

“how can i forget when you remind me every day?”

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

things were going great for the two weeks. you had officially lasted longer than any other girl who had been dropped in and nothing else strange happened. you didn’t have any other dreams, or urges beyond your control.

you were confident in your place with them then, the doubts that had been sown in your mind had died off completely.

you were happy, you realized, and your days spent with yuta and jungwoo were peaceful. two weeks without incident allowed you to sleep in your room alone again, even though you missed the comfortable weight of jungwoo at the foot of your bed or the warm presence of yuta in the room – yuta had offered you a permanent place in his bed, but you had shook your head and laughed at the implications.

that was something else that had changed, yuta openly flirting with you.

you weren’t mad about that in the slightest, but you realized that when the occasional human boy would flirt with you, you could brush it off with ease.

when yuta would flirt with you, it turned you into a blushing mess.

on the third night after the resuming of sleeping alone, yuta had walked you to your door. a habit he had gotten into since you stopped staying in his room, and when you had asked him about it he nonchalantly shrugged, “just because i’m damned doesn’t mean i can’t be chivalrous.”

you snorted and didn’t argue at that, “that wasn’t a complaint.”

you had your hand on the doorknob behind your back as you had finally made it to your room, and yuta was leaning casually with one elbow against your door frame, and the other hand in his pocket.

“but if you’d prefer,” yuta smirked down at you, “i can become quite the opposite.”

your eyebrows drew together in confusion, “i’ve already seen you be an asshole, the whole first few days, or did you forget?”

“i didn’t forget…” he purred and he lowered his head slowly down to yours until he was inches from you, his breath tickling your lips, and your eyes widened and face flushed at the sudden closeness, “but i was thinking of something a bit more… dishonorable.” yuta bit his lip cockily, his eyes trailing down slowly from your eyes to your lips, and you held your breath. you felt your breath catch in your throat, your brain screaming and you fumbled to turn the doorknob, and all but falling into your room, and you closed the door directly in yuta’s face. you leaned against the door, patting your cheeks softly trying to get control of the blush that had taken over.

you heard yuta’s deep chuckle from the other side of the door, and his voice rumbled through the door, “goodnight, my little human.”

your breath was shaky, and you couldn’t get control of your erratic heartbeat nor the butterflies that erupted in your stomach. however, in a moment of brash confidence, you suddenly opened the door, the action shocking even yuta. you quickly stood on your toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“well that wasn’t quite what I meant when I said dishonorable…” he trailed off, gazing down at you a smirk on his lips.

standing flat on your feet again, you bravely kept eye contact and through the blush you huffed, “goodnight, yuta.”

after a few moments yuta’s smirk morphed into the prettiest smile you had seen on him so far, the happiness reaching even his eyes. he leaned forward to place a kiss on your forehead in return, muttering a soft, “cute.” you retreated back to your room with a wave to him.

you tossed and turned in your bed, at first because you couldn’t stop thinking about yuta’s lips on your forehead, and then it was because you felt too hot in your bed. you kicked off the blankets one by one, until it was just you on the bed.

the heat was driving you crazy, and you thought about laying on the ground to cool off because you were that desperate. eventually you settled on stepping outside in the clearing to get some fresh air, and if that didn’t help, maybe you’d ask yuta to do whatever demon magic trick would help you sleep.

walking through the corridors, you felt a sudden gust of cool air, and it was gone so quickly in the next moment that you instantly got frustrated. you knew it had to come from somewhere, so you followed where it came from.

the cold air blew again, and continuing to follow it, it caused you turn down a hall you hadn’t explored yet. you hesitated, jungwoo’s warning echoing in the back of your mind but when you went to turn back around, the same feeling you had while in the kitchen overcame you and this time you were very aware of it.

your heart instantly rose in your throat, and with every step deeper into the cave you felt the panic rising. you wanted to open your mouth, to scream for help, to ask yuta or jungwoo to come get you before it was too late but whatever had you under it’s control, had control of your tongue as well.

long minutes of walking, the only sound echoing against the stone walls was your nervous breathing. eventually you came to a stop, the corridor opening up in a way you were familiar with. instead of grass and waterfalls, there were endless stars, and after closer inspection, you realized they were fireflies. it was beautiful to see, and you would have admired it had it not been for the circumstance.

the lights from the small bugs emitted an eerie glow and an involuntary chill ran down your spine. a swishing sound came from behind you, as if something were moving along the cavern floor. you couldn’t turn around, couldn’t move your head to turn around. couldn’t control your rapid breathing, and the feeling of being trapped made your flight senses light up but you couldn’t obey them no matter how hard you tried. with the dim lights you saw a shadow of a figure, but you couldn’t make out any details.

“youuuu,” it drawled, a slight breathy rasp in it’s voice. “it took a lot of effort to get you here.”

you still couldn’t speak, mouth firmly closed.

“you fought so hard, human. I can say I’m impressed. but I had to have you, I really…” it’s breath rattled in it’s chest, and you noticed a slight hissing sound coming it. “couldn’t control myself.” it continued, all while still circling you, and you could see in moments it was directly in front of you the soft glow of green eyes, the same green as the fireflies on the cavern ceiling.

the slithering sound constant, coming from all around you, making it hard for you to focus on where it was, making it harder for you to control your fear.

after long moments you suddenly felt the invisible muzzle that had you silenced the entire time lift away. finally you could speak and immediately opened your mouth to scream.

“if you try to summon him again like you did before, i’ll kill him in front of you the second he appears,” and you could hear it smiling as it spoke from somewhere over your shoulder.

“why couldn’t you have left me alone?” you said trying to keep the shake from your tone, but your echoing voice that bounced back to you let you know that you had failed in that.

“two reasons,” it answered simply. you were trying to keep it talking, trying to think of any way to get out of this alive. your mind going haywire in it’s panic, because somehow deep down, you knew.

you knew this was it.

“what were the reasons?” you forced out from between pursed lips, your throat now burning from the tears you were trying to hold back after the realization struck you.

you were trying to be brave but you had started shivering now, not because you were cold, but because you were that scared.

“did you ever not wonder about what yuta was so interested in on your very first day?” and you thought back. you did remember, you could remember him saying ‘interesting’, but at the time you were too angry about the trance he put you under to care.

“no, a lot happened that day.”

“we’re all from hell, us three trapped down here. but we all have this one thing in common… we know souls. we can see them, taint them, devour them, control them entirely if we want.” it paused, watching you stand in place. it brought joy to the creature to see the occasional tremor travel through your body from fear. humans were so foolish to remain brave in times like this.

“you were unique because your soul was already tainted, from both the blood that runs in your veins and the rage you’ve harbored your entire life, from the grief you couldn’t let go of.” the words triggering the echo of yuta’s words in your mind.

‘if you don’t let it go, it will eat you alive’, your eyes widened at the memory, and you felt your eyes start to water. bravery slowly leaving you the longer the creature spoke.

“yesss, he was trying to purify your soul, little by little. he thought he was helping you but really… he was helping me. the lighter you became, the easier it was to control you, the easier it was to pull you to me.” you choked back a sob then, clenching your teeth to try and keep the sound in your throat, refusing to let the tears fall.

“what was the other reason?” you hissed from between your clenched teeth.

“oh, well… you see. yuta thinks he was trapped down here because of a broken-hearted witch,” it slithered again, this time close to you and you could feel it directly behind you.

“how silly of a reason that would have been.” it hissed lowly, sounds no longer echoing off the walls back to you. the sounds almost seemed to fall to the ground now, almost as if your ears were being covered, the loudest thing now being the roar of your heartbeat.

“the curse was never meant for him, he just so happened to get caught in it…” and you felt a heavy grip on your shoulder; it’s hot breath was on your cheek and you couldn’t help but tense up at the proximity. “it was meant only for me; the witch who cursed me not having the foresight to think one of her own would be put in this position, position where spilling your blood will set me free. i sincerely thank you for your sacrifice.”

all you could hear around you was it’s malicious laugh, but you couldn’t focus on that two things happened simultaneously.

the first being that it moved from behind you to appear very suddenly in front of you in a blink, pale green eyes glowing and not an ounce of kindness found there. you only had a moment to take in it’s face, and it looked surprisingly human, just as jungwoo and yuta did. you were able to make out the snarl on its face, it’s teeth sharp, but didn’t get a moment to think about it because at the same time you felt something sharp pierce directly through your stomach, and it was ripped out of you roughly.

your mouth opened in silence at the sharp pain, the bind that had been placed on your body was lifted in the next moment and you fell to the ground on your knees hands desperately trying to hold your stomach. after agonizing breaths, you collapsed further to land hard on your side, your blood pooling around you slowly, sending new jolts of pain through you that just kept going, and going, and going...

and then finally you started to scream.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

yuta jolted awake, jungwoo bursting into his room at the same exact moment.

“it’s gone,” jungwoo rushed, panic laced in the two words. yuta felt exactly what he meant then, the heavy weight that the curse had been on their bodies all these years was lifted entirely. he felt lighter, and he also felt the kind of power he didn’t realize he had missed.

then it dawned on him.

he was inside your room in an instant, empty. his entire body became hot in that moment, and he wasn’t sure if it were out of anger or fear – maybe both. jungwoo burst through the door moments later and he looked around.

“no, no, no…” he denied, devastation the only thing written in his tear lined eyes. “yuta, how…” jungwoo trailed off and then he fully focused on the demon in front of him. his eyes were red now, something he hadn’t seen in a century.

he had hoped he’d never have to see it again.

jungwoo crossed the distance then and placed his hand on yuta’s shoulder gingerly. it was scalding to him, but he endured it. jungwoo was about to open his mouth but then yuta’s head whipped around, ears picking up something he couldn’t, and because jungwoo was already gripping him… when yuta teleported, so did he.

the first thing yuta noticed when appearing in the wide opening they landed in – he had no clue of where he was going, all he knew was that he heard you sigh his name – was the metallic taste of copper on his tongue, the smell of blood was completely overwhelming.

and there you were.

you were laying on the ground, and that’s where the scent of blood was coming from because it was all around you in a dark puddle and yuta hadn’t known what fear really was, he had never had anything to be afraid of or for, until he met you, and then he had never felt this type of fear before but he did now because of you. fear gripped his heart in its hand tightly and squeezed, yuta realizing his heart was racing then.

he was by your side in a second, gently lifting you – and his breath caught at just how limp you had become – off the ground to cradle you in his arms. he rocked slightly, his bloody hand coming up to brush the hair from your face.

your eyes were closed but you smiled softly up at him, blood staining your lips and leaking from the corners of your mouth; your hair soaked from where you had been lying in it. you croaked out a soft, “hi.”

“hey, hey,” he whispered to you and your eyes slowly fluttered open to gaze into his, your hand lifted lethargically to grip at his shirts sleeve. he saw you slowly losing focus, and he tapped your cheek gently, trying to keep you awake. jungwoo somehow regained movement in his legs and scrambled to kneel next to you; he put his hands over the wound and realized how bad it truly was.

jungwoo couldn’t help but use the back of his now bloody hand to try and cover the sobs he couldn’t control, they couldn’t lose you – he really liked having you around. you cuddled him and you made yuta happy but he didn’t know how to fix this.

“my little human, please… please keep looking at me,” yuta was saying to you, his hand coming to rub his thumb against your cheek and your lips tugged upwards slightly at the affection in which he touched you, in the way he said the nickname that had become yours.

“i have been… this whole time. i’ve been looking at you,” you whispered, in between rattling breaths hoping he understood you didn’t just mean right now, you meant since landing here, since the very first day. you were so tired now, your mind becoming as lethargic as your body and you felt tears dripping down your cheeks but it wasn’t you.

yuta was crying, his tears splattering against your cheeks.

you didn’t mind.

“i wanted more time,” you said in an exhale.

“then don’t go,” he pleaded, anguish in his eyes and voice. “don’t leave. don’t leave us. don’t – don’t leave me… please.”

“then don’t… let me…” you wheezed, still somehow teasing even though your voice cracked, your lungs struggled to fill with air.

“let me save you,” he was begging you, he was resting his forehead against yours now. his blood-soaked hands were shaking now as they tangled themselves in your hair, he was so afraid to let go. “i can do it, please let me.”

jungwoo snapped his head up at yuta, and he whispered, “but she would…”

yuta never took his eyes off of you, and he noticed the moments in between blinks were getting longer and longer.

“i can save you,” he was whispering to you, his red eyes starting to glow in anticipation. “i can save you but your soul, it would be tethered to mine. you’ll be like me… you’ll be damned.”

you tried to laugh, but all that came out were weak breaths, “there are worse things i could be.”

yuta’s heart lurched when your grip on his shirt loosened, your arm falling across your body now and he started speaking to you faster.

“demons have laws, i can’t… i need your permission – i can’t just do it, it has to be verbal, please,” yuta cried softly, “please say yes.”

you inhaled, your voice was barely there when you exhaled a soft, “yes.”

yuta’s red eyes glowed brighter with your answer. in a swift moment, he closed the space between you, his lips pressing against yours gently. he could feel you now, could feel you trying to hold on but losing the fight.

so he kissed you harder, his hand that was tangled in your hair moving down to your neck.

slowly, he felt you again. felt as you came back to him. he felt you as he felt himself now, and he was sure it was the same for you.

he knew you had come back to him when you took a sudden sharp breath against his mouth, and then you were kissing him back. your hand coming back up to grip at his shirt, and he was all around you. you couldn’t stop breathing him in as you kissed him and you had never felt so whole, as if this was what you were missing your entire life. him.

eventually, you slowly pulled away, your eyes fluttered open fully and seeing the tears that had ran down his face and then it was your turn to wipe them away from his cheeks, your thumbs dragging over his lips to wipe at the blood on his mouth from kissing you and you chuckled slightly.

yuta buried his face in the crook of your neck, and you brought your hand up to gently run your fingers through his hair, the sound of him breathing soothing you. turning you offered a hand to jungwoo, not forgetting that he was there.

his face twisted, sniffing as he got control of his emotions again and he took your hand in his and kept it close to his chest.

“you came for me,” you whispered, breaking the silence. yuta gripped you a little tighter, not wanting to let go of you yet.

he murmured his response against your neck, “you called.”

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

you were happy to be alive, you were happy that yuta saved you. you were even happy that jungwoo looked so happy to see you still breathing. but after a few long minutes of him holding you tapped him on the shoulder.

“um, i don’t want to ruin the moment but… the blood is drying and it’s actually uncomfortable.” you laughed awkwardly.

“moment effectively ruined,” yuta droned as he sat up, his look unamused but you could tell he was still trying to come down from the fear of the moment. you made to sit up so you could stand but yuta beat you to it by picking you up effortlessly. you wrapped your arms around his neck to keep yourself steady from the sudden movement.

“i can walk!” you protested. you looked down when you felt the weight of jungwoo sitting on your stomach, his cat form blinking at you from his newfound spot.

“i never said you couldn’t,” was his easy reply. you learned quickly after that the reason was so he could teleport you all back to your room with ease, and yuta gently placed you down after jungwoo leapt off of you, transforming back into a human. with a squeeze of yuta’s hand you escaped to the bathroom and shut the door behind you. You listened for a moment.

“will she be okay?” jungwoo murmured to yuta, and you heard shuffling.

“if you cuddle her enough, i’m sure she will be eventually.”

“you have to be there for her too,” jungwoo pointed out.

“i plan to,” yuta replied.

you pulled away from the door and went to the bath, turning the water to as hot as it could go. while the shower ran you finally stepped in front of the mirror and you paled at what you saw.

blood was smeared across your lips from where yuta had kissed you, but that wasn’t what got you.

the blood was dried everywhere, your t-shirt that you had went to bed in had a giant hole in the front and it was overwhelming to look at so you ripped it off your body, throwing it across the bathroom. you looked down and it was as if it had never happened, the skin clear.

no scars.

nothing to show that you had died.

nothing to remind you that yuta had saved you. and for some reason that upset you. you stood there staring at your reflection until the mirror completely fogged over.

you dragged your eyes away, and stepped in the shower. you didn’t let the scalding heat of the water deter you from getting in and immediately start scrubbing away at your skin. it took three tries to get to see the water turn clear and once it did, you sank down to the shower floor and brought your knees to your chest.

and for the first time, you let yourself truly cry.

you tried to stay quiet but you didn’t hold back the tears this time. you sobbed to yourself until the fear you had felt before had escaped you entirely, flowing down the drain with the tears. you had been so scared, especially when you felt yourself take your last breath. eventually the tears slowed until there were none left, your mind then drifting to the demon who had saved you and you couldn’t help the small watery smile that that appeared.

you sat there, allowing yourself to process everything that had happened until the water turned cold, and then shivering you turned off the water and stepped out.

when you finally left the bathroom dressed in a simple t-shirt and shorts, you had somehow expected he would be there but still surprised to see that you were right, you were surprised that jungwoo was nowhere in sight. he looked from where he sat on your bed as up as you entered the room, and you plopped down beside him on the bed. he didn’t speak for a moment, and you didn’t want to disrupt the silence.

finally, he spoke up. “i’m sorry…” and you were shaking your head before his sentence finished.

“i’m not,” you replied. he still wasn’t looking at you and you turned your body to face him. you lifted your hand to his cheek, using it to turn his face to look at you, and then you repeated yourself. “i’m not.”

you leaned in to kiss him sweetly, cutting him off when he opened his mouth to retort. it was meant to be a quick kiss, a reassuring one for him. but he instantly reciprocated, his lips moving against yours in a way they didn’t before. 

before the kiss was all about saving you, about bringing you back to him. 

this kiss was letting you know how much he wanted you to stay, how desperate he was to keep you safe.

silly demon, you thought. when you tilted your head slightly he deepened the kiss and you, while still kissing him, move to sit up on your knees, hooking one leg over his lap. your hands came up to cup his face, and his hands gripped the back of your thighs to keep you firmly on his lap. you eventually break the kiss to allow yourself to breathe, and yuta trailed his lips across your jawline, down to your neck and you sighed at the contact.

when his teeth grazed against your neck, you couldn’t stop the soft breathy gasp that escaped your lips. 

yuta chuckled at that and teased, “oh, we like that?” 

your answer was to snake a hand up to his hair to tug it lightly, and it was his turn to groan against your neck. 

“oh,” you said, using the same tone he had before, “we like that?” yuta pulled away from your neck and peered into your eyes. 

“yes, i like that,” he said playfully and then his eyes turned soft the longer he gazed at you. “but i love you.” 

your mouth hung open at his confession. you didn’t doubt that he cared for you, he did just tether your life to his to save yours and that itself was an act of love but this was different.

it was straightforward.

when you didn’t respond right away, he started rambling, his eyes growing wide.  it was funny to see the demon who was powerful enough to pull you back from death, now be turned into a blushing fool. 

“i wasn’t saying it to make you feel guilty or anything you don’t have to say it back, it’sokayifyoudon’tipromisebut…” the last sentence coming out in one long breath and he trailed off as he saw your face break out into an endearing grin.

you released the grip you had on his hair, looping your arms around his neck and you sealed your lips against his again.

the kiss as sweet as his confession.

a confession you had made to yourself about him as you had sat in the shower earlier.

“idiot demon,” you murmured against his lips, “of course i love you.” yuta’s response was to kiss you with all the passion he could muster, you heard him say it but he wanted you to be able to feel it. 

you did. 

the kiss turned from sweet within minutes when yuta nipped at you, and you gasped in the of his teeth sinking in to your bottom lip. you trailed your hands down his front, fingers taking in the abs you could feel through his shirt and he smirked into the kiss.

you wanted to feel him, you realized and so you tugged it off and he lifted his arms to let you. you didn’t start kissing him again right away, letting your eyes roam over his body. 

“i feel like i’m being ogled at,” he joked as your eyes took in his tattoos that decorated his hips. 

“it’s because you are,” you hummed. quicker than you can blink, again with the demon speed, he flipped you both. you were under him, head on the pillow and he was hovering over you, lifting himself by the arm that rested by your head.

his lips found yours for a moment, kissing you breathlessly. his lips trailed to your cheek slowly, and then his lips were at your ear. you felt the moment his lips turn up in a smirk.  

“then it’s only fair that it’s my turn, no?” 

your only response was to nod, a matching smirk on your face. 

and so you let him have his turn.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

the next morning you were awoken by the sound of a whispered conversation. you were curled in to yuta’s side as he laid on his back, and jungwoo’s voice was closer to you now. you peeked through your lashes to find him still in his cat form sitting on yuta’s chest as he spoke to him.

“we can’t let him roam free, he’s been trapped here getting more and more bloodthirsty as the years went on.” jungwoo said.

“we’re not going to let him, it’s just…” and you felt his eyes turn to you.

“she can come too, we won’t leave her here alone.”

“no, i’m not letting her near him again.” yuta’s voice was firm, leaving no room for jungwoo to argue. that was when you decided to stop eavesdropping.

“you’re not going to start telling me what I can or can’t do,” you sent an unamused look in yuta’s direction. “i agree with jungwoo, and i want… i want to go.” yuta studied your face, and finally acquiesced.

“fine,” he said.

it didn’t take long for you to track down the path the creature took, you could smell your own blood that had dripped along the path it had walked.

“you can smell that?” yuta asked, studying you as you spoke. your answer was a shrug before you continued down the familiar path.

the interesting thing about living in the mountain is that you had been so accustomed to it’s day and night, that you hadn’t realized it had been opposite of the outside world. it was dark outside, the moon barely seen through the trees. the path you walked down being the same one that had brought you up the mountain in the first place. the little light the moon gave was plenty enough for you to be able to see clearly.

it didn’t even register that you should have been nearly blinded by the darkness, nor that you seemed to be making quicker time than the first trip had taken.

yuta and jungwoo trailed behind you as you somehow led the way, they didn’t question your sense of direction and when you reached the end of the path you hesitated.

one more step would put you back into town, and you were second guessing if you wanted to save these people at all. they had sent you to your death, they didn’t deserve the kindness of being rescued because where was that kindness – a hand on your arm stopped the thoughts in their tracks.

“i’m with you, okay? you’ll be safe,” yuta whispered to you. you shook off the bubble of anger that had appeared, your only response being the next step out of the tree line and into the town limits.  

from there though, you weren’t sure of where to go next, the smell of your blood dispersing in the open air.

another sound caught your attention then, a familiar voice at the edge of your hearing. the words you couldn’t understand but you knew the voice, and knew exactly where to find it. following the sound, you led the way and you didn’t notice when jungwoo shot yuta a concerned look.

you followed the same path through the village, your mind taking you back to the feeling of walking through the people as they made a trail for you. the smell of fresh blood caught your attention and you turned your head to see the town mayor.

he was face down in the dirt, body completely still. you couldn’t find it in yourself to be sad for him, but your eyes slowly swept over the area and you saw more bodies then. you did feel a twinge of sadness for the others.

you turned to glance back at yuta and when you did his eyes widened, but you didn’t care to ask why. instead, as if you had tunnel vision, you continued leading the way to the house where you grew up, the voice that you recognized getting clearer and clearer.

before you could step to the small stone pathway that led to the front door, a sound of broken glass broke the silence of the night, you looking in time to see a body being thrown from the window.

the body landed on the ground in a heap, and you rushed over to see your uncle – eyes unfocused as he stared up at the night sky. he was dead before he hit the ground, and that’s when you heard screaming from within the house.

yuta was the first to throw open the door, you following him and the sight you witnessed confused you.

you saw the creature clearly now, and as you had previously thought, it looked more human. it’s human form that of a man, dark hair and tall. the only thing obviously different about him were his eyes that never stopped glowing the pale green, and the patches of skin that seemed to be scales. but what really caught your attention was that he had mina by the throat, lifted high in the air.

“the party has arrived,” he sang, turning it’s head to stare at you. yuta and jungwoo stepped in front of you protectively but the creature looked between them and only stared intently into yours.

“i can see it in your eyes that you sold your soul to the devil,” he sneered. “because i was sure that last i saw you, you were minutes from bleeding out entirely.”

“i was,” you bit back. “seems that i just don’t know when to die.”

“it seems that runs it the family, doesn’t it?” another voice crooned from a shadowed hallway to the right.

your aunt stepped forward and slowly sauntered over to stand next to the snake-like demon.

“must be something in your blood,” she smirked then. she placed her hand on his back then as if they had been long-time friends and not a demon who had been locked away for a little less than a century.

the fact that he had her daughter by the throat, mina’s feet kicking above the floor, it did not seem to faze her.

“what did you say?” you growled, you had been assuming the entire time that the dreams had been just that. terrible dreams.

“what part?” she mocked. when you didn’t answer, she sighed dramatically.

“honestly, i’m a little disappointed to see you even alive. i was so sure that they would have killed you before my friend here had to, i didn’t realize your demon had a heart,” she snorted then, as if the very idea were ridiculous to her, then she shook her head and continued, “but your mother was the same as you, i suppose… she had the audacity to keep holding on.” you jumped forward at that, fury clouding your judgment. finally getting the confirmation was different than just assuming and hoping you were wrong. yuta held you back by the arms.

“why?” you asked, and you felt yuta wrap his arms around you in a constricting hug, the warmth of his body calming your anger but not quelling it entirely. you felt jungwoo’s presence shift slightly behind you.

“because,” your aunt trailed off, her eyes staring intently into yours. “she wanted to tell everyone that the sacrificing was no longer required. i had been planning this for years and she would have ruined it entirely.”

your mind was trying to quickly put pieces together but you felt like you were missing important information.

“i see you’re all confused, poor thing. let me paint the picture simply for you then.” she pouted, her voice demeaning as she stared right into your eyes as she spoke, waving he hands around wildly as she told her story. “demon visits me in my dreams, guarantees me everything i could ever want and more. the price? simple enough, getting my dear sweet niece to it in one piece. something about your dormant witch blood being important but i didn’t care about that. i only cared about receiving what i was promised. your mother had to go when she threatened all of that.”

“you’ve been planning this since i was a child?!” you yelled incredulously, struggling again in yuta’s arms to get free.

“patience has always been a strong suit of mine,” she laughed.

“you know deals like this always come with a price,” it was yuta who spoke up from behind you, his voice hard to read.

“i wanted my wealth and i got it, there’s nothing he can take from me that i’ll be upset for.” she was confident but you realized it was misplaced when the creature dropped mina suddenly – said girl crying out as she hit the floor – and whirled to stalk towards your aunt.

“’nothing i can take’, mm?” it taunted her, its words turning menacing. “nothing… except your life, maybe?” and your aunt cowered away from it then, stumbling as she tried to retreat. her eyes were wide in fear.

“no! i was promised wealth, you can’t kill me!” she argued and panic flooded her eyes when it backed her against the wall.

“i promised it and you received it, did you not? you’ve had wealth for as long as she’s been down in the mountain, no?”

“but…but…” and he cut her off when he put a finger to her lips. her eyes begging him when her mouth was no longer able to. her head shaking rapidly.

“i never promised you for how long, that was your own fault… you really should have been more specific.” and the next second your aunt was dead, her body dropping to the floor with a thud and mina screamed.

he twisted his neck to look over his shoulder. the hungry look he gave mina making her scramble backwards on her hands, trying to put as much distance between her and what was most definitely going to kill her.

you decided then that even if it were only out of guilt, she had still been kind to you. you weren’t going to let her die, not without trying, not like you did.

weak and afraid.

and that thought spurned you to move, and that was the only thought plaguing your mind then.

not mina.

you struggled harder in yuta’s arm, elbowing him accidentally in the ribs but it caused him to let you go and you reacted in the same moment as the murderous demon did.

in a blink he was in front of mina.

and in the same blink, so were you.

the sudden appearance of you caught him off guard, his green eyes widening for a moment before darkening. his hand darted out and his fingers wrapped around your throat before you could stop him.

“you’re beginning to become a nuisance.” he said through clenched teeth.

“beginning to?” you choked out, a smug smile on your face. “i think it’s my best quality.”

the creature opened his mouth to speak, but before he could utter a word, yuta was there. he was radiating heat in a way you hadn’t felt before, but his face gave nothing away, it was completely blank.

that somehow made him all the more terrifying. yuta’s hand was on the creature’s wrist then, his grip so tight you could hear the bones grind and he was forced to release you with a short cry in pain.

“mina!” jungwoo called then, beckoning for her to come to him and she did, running into him and gripping his arm tightly as she hid behind him, his arm protectively shielding her.

still gripping his wrist, yuta bent it in a way that was inhuman, cause the creature to crash to his knees painfully.

the kneeling demon then opened his eyes to stare up at the one causing him pain and he balked when he looked into yuta’s eyes, and you saw true fear there.

“i believe you have touched her far too many times already,” yuta said to him, something different about his voice.

“you… you’re not… you can’t be…” he stammered.

“oh, but i am.” yuta affirmed, and you realized his voice had a dark echo to it and you furrowed your eyebrows at him. you could see the red glow of his eyes when you peered around slightly to see, but his face was stoic. nothing scarier than normal, but the opposing demon who had been wreaking havoc was absolutely terrified.

“you were weak, your eyes were black,” he spat at yuta.

“they were, i blame it on the spell. the stronger the demon, the more it dulled everything, it was rather irritating,” yuta’s voice came, still with the echo. you couldn’t lie and say the echo wasn’t a little terrifying.

“please,” the creature had resorted to begging, dropping to his knees in front of yuta and you were bemused at the turn of events.

this cowering thing was what killed you? you started to feel a little embarrassed for yourself then. you still wouldn’t have been able to survive him, but then a thought filtered through.

maybe he isn’t incredibly weak, maybe yuta is just that powerful.

yuta let go of the his wrist and moved his hand to the creature’s head then, almost lovingly.

“don’t…” the creature continued pleading and yuta laughed. the sound void of any joy, only malice.

“don’t what? don’t kill you? did you extend that offer to her?” yuta gestured to you behind him with a jerk of his head.

the demon didn’t answer, so yuta shook his head for him mockingly.

“that’s right, you didn’t.” his voice was angry now and you had never heard this type of fury before.

“please have mercy,” the creature then grabbed onto yuta’s pant leg, eyes staring up at yuta as he glowered down at the creature.

 “i only have mercy for very few beings in my life, and unfortunately for you,” yuta said as he crouched momentarily to be eye level with the green-eyed demon. “you’re not one of them.”

and for an extended pause, nothing happened. the room entirely too silent, mina’s labored breathing the only thing you could hear.

then the creature was screaming, screaming as you had in the cavern.

screaming in pain.

and then as if he were burning from the inside out, he started to smoke and smolder. pieces of him crumbling into ash slowly. the screaming stopped when the ash took most of his body, the rest falling onto the ground and there was nothing left of the menacing demon.

“yuta…” jungwoo warned from where he still stood defensively in front of mina. “yuta, snap out of it.”

that was when you noticed yuta breathing heavily, his hand still outstretched where it had been on top of the creature’s head. you circled to the front of yuta, and you saw jungwoo make a move for you, mina’s vicelike grip preventing him from going to you completely.

“y/n, don’t! don’t go near him. he’s not himself right now!” jungwoo called, fearing only for your safety.

you were in front of yuta now, and he still looked physically like your yuta. but he wasn’t… everything else about him seemed off. his eyes were a different type of red than when he had saved you before, they were a darker red. the color of blood alive in his irises. when your face appeared in front of him, he snarled. his lips turning up, his teeth bared at you.

you didn’t move quickly, continuing to gaze into his eyes while your hand reached for his outstretched one. your fingers gently wrapped around his, and you hissed internally as his hand was scalding but you didn’t let that deter you, and you slowly pulled it up. using both your hands, you placed his palm against your cheek.

the fire cooling on his palm the second his hand touched your skin, but he was still growling at you lowly with that strange echo. like he was semi-aware, but unable to break out of it.

“it’s okay,” you whispered reassuringly, voice calm. “i’m okay. he’s dead now. you can stop.”

when nothing changed, your heart squeezed. you reached your palm out to touch his cheek then. mirroring the way you held his to yours, and stepped closer to him.

“yuta, hey… please come back to me?” you murmured, before sealing the distance and placing a kiss on his lips.

if he could kiss you and literally bring you back to life, then surely you could at least bring him back to himself with yours.

when you felt him kiss you back, you knew you had succeeded. pulling away from him, you stared into his now apologetic eyes and were relieved to see them back to brown. the squeeze on your heart finally loosening.

yuta’s eyes searched yours and when he didn’t find an ounce anger or disgust there, a smile slowly worked its way onto his lips.

“you pulled me back,” he said in awe. if he hadn’t loved you before, that would have sealed the deal alone.

“i guess we’re even now,” you laughed, winking at him as you quickly kissed him again.

he took back what he previously thought, that would have sealed the deal.

[retrievablememories]

bleed | yuta (m)

pairing: yuta x black reader word count: 2.1k genre: smut, pwp warnings: nosebleed, bloodplay/blood consumption, dirty talk, fingering, public sexual acts, one mention of period cunnilingus a/n: i wrote this back in feb. 2022 when tinashe’s “naturally” came out but i ended up hating it and decided never to post it. however, i just watched “bones and all” and i found the theme of consuming your lover/becoming one a bit similar.....and i’m hoping maybe that movie has primed some of you for the content of this fic? 💀 so i’m giving it a chance now.

if not, let’s pretend this never happened....

please do heed the warnings, this is a little different from the usual fare on this blog. no, yuta is not a vampire in this fic. and this is how i imagine he looks here.

--

The air outside is dry and hot, and it surrounds you like a scratchy blanket you just can’t take off. You fan a hand across your face, trying to look unaffected even though you’re burning up. You agreed to go hiking with Yuta to spend some time with him today as he’d been quite busy at the tattoo studio lately, but you didn’t expect it to be quite so hot. Even your sundress isn’t providing the relief you’d like.

“Do you need to rest?”

“Maybe for a few minutes,” you say with a sheepish laugh, adjusting your sun hat on top of your head. You stop to lean against a thick tree trunk, trying your best to stay underneath the shade even with rays of sunlight breaking through the leaves. Yuta stands in front of you, tilting his head at you curiously. It makes his blonde hair flop into his eyes.

“You look like a nature fairy. I should take a picture,” he says.

You shake your head, though you bat your eyes at him playfully. “I look hot and sweaty.” You remain still anyway as you let him take a few pictures of you. He even gets a few laughs from you as he acts like a stunned and eager paparazzo, hitting ridiculous poses to get just the right angle. Afterwards, he comes over to show you the pictures and get your approval before saving them.

You rub your nose to scratch a small itch that’s arisen, but you must’ve done it a bit too roughly, because seconds later you feel that tell-tale rush in one of your nostrils.

When Yuta glances at you, his eyes widen. “Your nose is bleeding,” he says, speaking a little too late. You feel the trickle going down your philtrum and top lip, and you hurriedly lean forward and cup your hand underneath your nose to try to catch some of the blood and keep it from going onto your dress. You aren’t very successful, though; there are already some crimson drops staining the hem of your skirt.

“It must be because of the heat. Damn…my purse, Yuta. There are tissues.”

“Wait. Can I…” Yuta places his hands on your shoulders and turns you to face him.

“What are you doing?” you glance up at him, your eyes sliding up from his tattooed arms to his imploring expression and his parted lips. You give him an incredulous look as your heart beats a little faster. “You can’t be serious. Now?”

“Just a taste?”

You’re quiet for a few moments, the anticipation of what he’s asking of you swirling in your gut. It’s a quiet, out-of-the-way part of the forest, away from the main hiking trail; you doubt anyone will easily find you here. You’re anxious, but doing this in a semi-public place makes your nerves jitter from an emotion you dare to call excitement. “It’s going to ruin my dress, Yuta,” you complain.

“I’ll buy you another one just like it, baby. I promise.”

His tone is soft and promising even as his eyes and mouth are hungry, and something about that juxtaposition gets to you. It makes your core throb even in your current state. So you agree without thinking about it any longer. “...Okay. Just don’t take forever with it.”

Yuta leans his body into yours, one hand on the small of your back, and tilts your head up from its lowered position to draw his tongue across your bloodied lips. The metal of his tongue piercing against your skin makes a tiny shiver travel through you. His nose nudges yours as he licks your lips, and he groans at the taste of your blood. Your bloodied hand falls to your side, and you try to be careful of it touching your dress—not that it really much matters anymore.

His tongue slides up from your chin, and he kisses your philtrum where the blood has pooled in the little divot above your lips. The blood is still trickling down your chin in between the two of you, staining your skin and your clothes. Yuta sucks your top lip and bottom lip successively to clean them of blood, though the flow doesn’t yet stop, continually feeding him with more crimson. Finally, he fits his mouth over yours and fully kisses you, tasting properly like your blood. His hand tightens on your back, and a whimper escapes you.

“Why do you like this so much?” you whisper once you part from each other, trying to breathe steadily in and out of your mouth so you don’t inhale the blood.

“It’s having a part of you inside me,” he mumbles, and you’re actually surprised at his answer. Not that you haven’t asked him before, but he’s never answered it with this much intimacy until now. “Becoming one. Your blood is my blood, too.” His eyes seem to hold all the world’s emotions in them, and if you weren’t already enamored with him, you think you could be convinced into signing away your heart to him forever. “Isn’t that the type of romantic shit you like?” He speaks with his lips mere centimeters from yours, close enough to touch, as if he could breathe you in if he tried just hard enough.

“You are so strange,” you murmur. “I like you.” You both smile then, teeth reddened. He swipes his bloody tongue against yours, and you catch the tip lightly between your teeth before suckling it. Your kiss is a mess of your blood and both of your saliva dripping down your chins, but you adore it, and you tug him closer by his hair to show it. You already feel the beginning of an erection pressing into your stomach.

“Says the masochist,” he says, dragging his blunt nails across the sensitive skin of your nape. Your eyes nearly roll back at the sensation. The blood is starting to coagulate now, your nosebleed slowing, and you feel a bit uncomfortable with the drying, sticky blood on your face and chest and hand. Yuta isn’t finished with you though, proven by him taking his hand from your nape to slide his fingers into his mouth. “Slide your panties to the side for me.”

Your face burns, and your eyes dart around your surroundings. “You sure no one will find us here?”

“I’ve been to this trail and this little spot plenty of times. No one’s gonna find us unless they’re looking to do the same thing we are.”

“Ah, so you bring all your conquests here…? Nice to know.” You shake your head and snicker. Yuta only shrugs with a slight smirk, not bothering to deny your claim. With your clean hand, you reach underneath your dress to pull your underwear down completely, and they come to rest around your ankles. The less hassle for you, the better.

Satisfied with how wet his fingers are, Yuta slips his hand underneath your dress and slowly rubs at your clit, his fingers dipping lower on every other stroke to nudge against your opening. He situates his hand so that your clit slides between his ring and middle finger with every stroke instead of touching the small nub directly; he knows you prefer to be worked up like this. Your eyes flutter at the sensation, and you push your hips closer into his hand, the bark of the tree digging into your back. His tongue sticks out from the side of his lips as he focuses on pleasuring you, a soft and deep groan falling past his lips. “You’re so sticky and wet, and I’ve barely touched you. Guess I’m not the only strange one.”

Yuta does this for a few minutes more before sliding his middle and index fingers knuckle-deep into you, groaning at how your walls squeeze around him and how your face scrunches with the pleasure-pain of the stretch. He lowers his head to lick the drying blood off your chest and your neck as he pumps his fingers into you, his palm rubbing against your clit as he does. You don’t think you’ve ever felt quite so dirty before, which kind of scares you about a man you’ve only met and began dating a couple months ago, but it’s also exciting. You don’t know how anything after this could compare—and you sort of hope there isn’t an after.

He kisses you again, your teeth clicking together with his urgency to have your lips on his. The taste of his sanguine mouth as he twists his fingers inside you and nudges against that spongy spot inside you has your thighs quivering around his hand. “You’re so pretty when you bleed, baby. I’ve never seen such a bloody, pretty thing.” He praises you, his breaths heavy and tone rushed as he speaks against your mouth—into your mouth. “Makes me feel like a wild fucking animal—want to cum all over you, mark you. Or in you. Fill you up ‘til it’s dripping down those thick thighs.”

You chuckle breathlessly, sweat springing up on your body from his actions between your legs and the heat combined. “I-I’m flattered, but you wouldn’t say that if it were that time of the month.”

Yuta smirks, his eyes hazy with his lust. His expression seems to say if only you knew. “I’d suck your pussy no matter what time of the month it is.” He murmurs it like he’s telling you a nasty, terrible little secret. “I’d stick my tongue deep inside until you bled all over it…suck your clit until that pussy has no choice but to cum for me.” You’d probably be grossed out if this were any other situation—if this were anyone but Yuta—but his words have you whimpering and your walls clenching around his fingers as he thrusts them into you faster. You’re so wet that the slick sound of him pushing his fingers into you is echoing off the trees, and you can only hope he’s right about no one ever coming around here.

“I hope you prove i-it,” you gasp out, your words breaking off when he grinds his palm against your clit just so, and it’s enough to snap the tension in your abdomen.

Your body curls into his when you cum, waves of pleasure rocking you and making you unsteady enough that you have to lean on Yuta for balance. The way he kisses your neck gently—if a bit messily—only to leave a sharp bite after each touch of his lips heightens your pleasure, and you can’t help but moan unabashedly into the hot air of the forest. He doesn’t stop thrusting his fingers into you until you grasp his wrist and cry out his name, and then he’s pulling them out to suck your wetness off.

You look nothing short of a disaster when he’s done with you. Your dress and chest and half of your face stained with blood, your underwear lying around your ankles, your hand bloody and your nails caked with dried crimson. It will take a while to get that completely out from under your nails, you already know, and you’re not thrilled at the prospect of it. Your sunhat lies on the ground next to you, and you’re not even sure when it slipped off.

“...Okay. You’re done, for real this time? Go in my purse for me.”

Yuta does as you tell him. “You have wet wipes too?”

“You have to be prepared for anything in the wilderness,” you say, smelling the metallic scent of blood from your mouth as you speak and scrunching your nose. “And you know how you like to fuck whenever the mood strikes, so…easy cleanup.”

You and Yuta clean yourselves up as much as possible, which ends up in you using the entire small pack of wet wipes. There’s nothing you can do for the stains on your baby blue dress, and they’ll probably be too set in to fix once you return home. You roll your eyes, but you let Yuta pull you into him and lay an apologetic kiss on your lips, one of his hands grasping the curve of your ass. His cock is still stiff between your bodies, and you break the kiss to glance down.

“Do you want me to…?” you suggest, your fingers tracing over the bulge straining his zipper. He makes a sound in his throat that makes you think he wants more of your touch, but then he takes your hand and laces his fingers through yours.

“Later,” he says. “The only place I want to cum is inside you, but I think you’ve had enough of being messy for today.”

You get multiple strange and alarmed looks from other hikers when you get back to the main hiking path. You know it’s because of you walking around with bloodstains on your dress and a stupid smile on your face, but you ignore them all. 

[yunopouts]

Okay… so… unfortunately, due to a fucked up school and work schedule, I didn't have time to write anymore Halloween fics.

But I could always release switch! yuta and vamp! jaem as their own fics later— and I’ll probably just end up doing that.

But as for fic that hall want to see, what do we feel like reading.

These are like… longgggg fics we’re talking about here. Also plots are below the poll :P

by the way: i'm not changing the entire plot of i want u (around), I'm just tweaking some parts to slow it down more because i felt it was rushed and i don't like that. there's going to be a further dive into the relationship and some dates before jumping right to the end where they fall in love fr. okok anyways, enjoy the plots :P

Plot for Wicked Game - n. yuta:

Plot for i want u (around) - j. jaehyun:

Plot for Straight from the Heart - x. dejun:

[galacticseonghwa]

2:24 am thoughts mdni

non idol!yuta x fem!curvy reader, SMUT

a/n: NO plot, one shot with a shitty ending

his hands under his your shirt that you were wearing, squeezing and rubbing the flesh of your waist in his hands.

his favourite thing to do when you two were cuddling each other on stormy nights. he adored how you had more curves and meat on you than you could admit.

you loved your curves and how you weren't skinny and the fact that you were confident in that made him fall harder for you than he would ever admit to anyone but you.

your left hand on his cheek as he moved his face closer to yours to place a soft kiss on your lips. you giggle quietly as he pulls your body as close as he physically can.

one of his hands rubs up your back softly as he moves his head away to look at you, nothing but adoration and lust in his eyes.

he grips the back of your neck and pulls you in for a warm erotic kiss while his free hand reach between the both of you and traces the hem of your black lace panties.

his middle finger circling your clothed clit earning a quiet moan which he swallows as he pushes his tongue into your mouth. "yuta" you whimper as he pushes your panties to the side.

his fingers rubbing your wet folds, yuta quickly pushes you onto your back and slots himself in between your thighs without breaking the kiss.

he pulls away from you to rip his shirt over his head and pushes the shirt of his you were wearing to expose your erect nipples. without a second thought, his head dips down to suck and nip at your left nipple.

his eyes never leave yours, somehow making his mouth feel ten times better. you watch as he slowly grinds into the bed, only for you to pull him away from you and back to your mouth.

yuta moans as your fingers gently trace over his abs and his navel piercing only to end up teasing the hem of his grey sweatpants.

"need you so bad, baby." you whisper against his lips.

"hmm? what was that pretty girl?" he smiles darkly as he pulls away from you just to pull his sweatpants down his legs, throwing them somewhere to his left.

"need you yuta." you whine as he uses his thumb to pull your bottom lip down to give him enough room to push his thumb down on your tongue.

"that's it baby girl, keep sucking me like that." he coos as he's lining his cock at your dripping entrance. he has his eyes on yours as he slowly sinks into you, grunts escaping his pretty lips as his eyebrows furrow.

his thrusts are slow but deep at first as he lets you catch your breath somehow between each thrust.

as you begin whining loudly, yuta took your noises as a sign to start thrusting harder.

your headboard banging almost too loudly against the wall, you were so sure you'd be getting a noise complaint in the mail tomorrow. but that all went to the back of your mind when yuta hisses and brings his hand to your throat.

you start babbling nonsense to yuta as he puts the slightest pressure onto your throat, making your vision teether in a way you like all too much.

"i love it when you get so cock dumb" yuta almost laughs at how pathetic you sounded trying to form any kind of sentence.

"love all your pretty curves," he pauses to grip your thick thighs and up to your hips. "my pretty curves, they're all mine." he grits his teeth as he feels his orgasm nearing.

"i can feel your pretty pussy squeezing, pretty girl. cum for me, yeah?" he begins grunting louder as he grips your thigh.

"s'good f'me, baby." he moans into your ear as you both ride out your orgasms.

[neoculturetravesty]

let’s make an adult film (preview)

Pairing: Yuta x Her Genre: smut Warnings: mature, strong language, oral (male receiving), penetrative sex

Word Count: 2k

Summary: The first thought Yuta had when he saw her on the dancefloor was not that he should ask for her number, rather that she’d be great to make a porno with.

A/N: From my editing floor. I don’t know if I am ever going to complete this, but I wanted to post the preview to get over some blocks! 

The first thought Yuta had when he saw her on the dancefloor was not that he should ask for her number, rather that she’d be great to make a porno with.

It wasn’t just that she had a gorgeous body. No, he’d probably find several with gorgeous bodies and pretty faces in this damned plastic town. He had long stopped being moved by such calculated perfection. Everyone and everything was so disgustingly perfect these days that it gave him no arousal. And arousal was all an artist could ask for.

Maybe it was that what he saw couldn’t be explained or contained. She had a face unlike any he had ever seen. He had been so numbed by perfect beauties with perfectly painted faces, that a visual like hers was refreshing to the eye. She moved her body like she knew she had captivated the attention of everyone in the room, though the set of her mouth said that she didn’t want to care for it. In fact, she seemed like she hadn’t a care in the world. She danced like she hadn’t a care in the world; like she grabbed time by the balls and commanded it to slow so she could move in luxurious waves through her body. Yuta felt more inspired than he had been in a good, fat while.

He hadn’t realized how fucking easy it was going to be; asking a perfect stranger to film a porno together.

Because although men, women and everyone in between swarmed her like honey to bees, it was him that she left with that night. Perhaps, like him, she wanted a taste of intrigue rather than gratification that night.

Yuta only grew more inspired whilst he talked to her over a glass of red wine in his apartment. His eyes wandered to the delectable dip below her throat where her collarbones met. In the warm light of his apartment, that dip harbored the gentlest of shadows that acted as a natural contour. Yuta had a great proclivity for things like these in his own art forms. He couldn’t help but notice how she kept one shoulder raised slightly higher than the other so her body created sensual angles at all times. He felt his blood rush any time she’d savor the wine by pressing her jaw to that raised shoulder. Her eyes would close and her lashes would caress her cheekbones. Yuta saw a frame in every movement, because she swayed like each moment was a painting. Above all, Yuta looked at her not man to woman, but artist to muse. He wanted to frame that fucking painting.

It was intriguing; Yuta had never witnessed body confidence as alluring as hers. She was sound in her sexuality, and why the fuck not? She had every right to be. Everything about her was interesting. Yuta wasn’t sure whether it was artistic intrigue tinting his perception or his habitual fetishist tendencies, but earlier, she had seemed ever more interested in the attention of women rather than men. Then again, all he had witnessed was her stirring her index round a woman’s bare shoulder. Perhaps he was already viewing her as the picture he wanted to paint when all she did was be. He was hard from how inspired he was.

And when an artist is as inspired as was he, there isn’t much room for lies. There must be honesty in art and truth between artists. That is the way it must be or the art is forever tainted. So, it wasn’t long into the conversation that Yuta had brought up the following fact,

“I’m a filmmaker. But lately, I’ve been meaning to create more adult content,” he spoke matter-of-factly. It was almost expected that she hadn’t blinked an eye.

“I do some nude modeling every now and then. Let me know if something comes up, I’d love to be a part of your project,” she had smiled. 

And the proverbial ice had melted. Yuta could speak as openly about the vision he had for his project as openly as she talked about her craft.

“Honestly, I’ve always wanted to do something like it, but I haven’t really met someone who had an idea that is fully realized? Like, unless you’re a big name in the industry, nude modeling doesn’t really get the editorial treatment. And the porn out there is so fucking vulgar. I hate that pornographic films don’t get artistic treatment,” she scrunched her nose ever so slightly in distaste. Yuta found himself sitting up in his seat because finally, someone fucking understood.

“So much vile, unpalatable content. I hate it with all my heart, too. I keep searching the ends of the earth for something that would hit me just right and it’s always so fucking frustrating when I just don’t find it, you know? That’s when my wife made me realized that I’m a fucking filmmaker. If I can’t find it, I’d just have to create it,” Yuta explained.

“That’s fucking amazing. You know, not a lot of people think like that,” she appreciated and Yuta felt a surge through his blood that he was sure was more than just the alcohol.

“I mean, I’m sure we’re not the first ones to think like that,” Yuta said humbly, “But it’s just that… why can’t porn be interesting? Why can’t porn be tasteful and artful?”

“So, what was it that you were looking for?” she asked curiously as she dug around into her purse without looking. She extracted what Yuta was sure was a spliff and added, “Do you mind?”

Yuta waved his hand as he continued, “Well, there is a lot I have in mind, but for starters? Something that is more tastefully shot. I fucking hate the cinematography in porn. It’s so fucking non-existent. I’ve seen YouTube videos from bloody toy channels that have better camera work than porn,” he said and she laughed in earnest. He continued, “I especially hate the lighting in mainstream porn. I fucking hate it. Why is it so fucking bright? Why do they use so many fucking florescent lights? They’re not fucking surgeons. I mean I’m sure the audience would be able to tell a cock from a pussy even without the flood lights,” the absolute distaste on his tongue made him want to have a smoke of his own, just as a chaser. He smoked a regular cigarette, though, and she leaned in to light it for him with a craftsman’s lighter. 

“So, what’s your style? What kind of things do you film?” She smoked heavily.

“I’ve never done porn before. But I used to make a lot of film noirs. Honestly, my work is pretty focused on tone and stylization. Set and lighting is so fucking important to me. Every film that I made, I spent hours upon fucking hours just sourcing the right kind of lighting equipment. And then I would stay up for weeks in post, just editing each fucking frame till I got the style I wanted. Films should be made with this sort of vision. And that’s the kind of shit I want to see in my porn. Instead, I get terrible harsh fucking white light, and don’t fucking get me started on the dialogue,” Yuta took another deep drag at the end of his passionate outburst.

Her eyes were listening intently and Yuta didn’t need more confirmation beyond it that this was a perfect union. All the elements were on his side. He had her concentration, but it was the room clouding with smoke that was inspiring him even more. The smoke traveled from his lips and hers and surrounded her body in the perfect grayish haze that was Yuta’s favorite in film. It was setting the scene for him just right. It made her look even more elegant, and Yuta decided right then that if this were to work out, this was going to be his opening shot. 

He noticed that she had beautiful thighs, especially with how she crossed them against the satin of her dress. She held the spliff between her fingers, soft yet assured. She sat in a diagonal; legs crossed to the left, spliff held in the air to the right. Yuta was already visualizing the pan of the camera against her stance. He’d add perhaps some vertical shadows to her face and a Victorian style chester upon which she would lounge, exactly like she was right now. He’d start panning from the right and he would have the best fucking opening scene. Fuck, he was inspired. 

“You know, I fuck with style like yours. I literally worshiped Lady in the Lake growing up. And fuck, you’re right. I haven’t seen any porn in styles like that. And I’ve never wondered why,” she took a healthy drag from her spliff, and it made her voice deepen attractively, “And to be honest, it’s the same in my line of work. I don’t like anyone’s artistic approach. It doesn’t feel like art at all. I take my fucking top off, but it’s like they want to sell my body rather than the art my body is creating. Then again, I’m not a big time model. I’m not famous enough to get the Frederic Monceau type of projects.”

“But that’s the death of this fucking industry, isn’t it? You have to suck the devil’s cock to get fame or good opportunities, and those that don’t won’t ever get their films on the big fucking screen. I made good fucking films,” he used his cigarette to stab at every word he said; his eyebrows soared to his forehead in defense. Perhaps the secondhand weed smoke or the alcohol was making him more impassioned, driving the blood to his cock and balls and infusing him with testosterone. “But I wanted to stay fucking authentic, so I didn’t sell out to these big fucking studios. And you know what? I don’t regret it for a single moment. Fuck capitalism,” he held his glass up.

“Fuck capitalism!” said she. Both got up and clinked their glasses. And perhaps it wasn’t just him. She was feeling the blood, too. They were both a little high and a little drunk, because in all honesty, they’d both happily suck the devil’s cock given the chance, if that meant more people would buy their art. But the euphoria in their veins from finding another that would form this cult for two was simmering and giving both delusions of grandeur.

It was his cock she sucked later that night, not the devil’s. Yuta hadn’t even been particularly horny. He didn’t want to taint his muse, so to speak. He wanted to keep the authenticity of his art and preserve it for the masterpiece he would create. But the two of them had clinked glasses and sealed the commencement of this collaboration with a mature French kiss, and when the heat built, he let her suck him. And though he kept telling himself that their first fuck should be one for the records, he had caught sight of the perfect plump of her cunt and he decided that he wasn’t the kind of filmmaker to do first time scenes. He was an artist and she was an artist and they both celebrated sexuality as mature people do. So he fucked her too, right there on the couch of his loft apartment with the curtains fully drawn. Why would they close them? They were about to have an audience much larger than any passerby that might lift their lashes to their window.

Copyright © 2022 NeoCultureTravesty. All rights reserved.

[andysorbit]

Yuta as an older woman's boyfriend drabble (M)

Daddy!Yuta x fem!reader

"Yu- Yu- Yuta, oh fuck!"

He holds you tighter and throttles you against the wall behind the church where your best friend just got married. It's wild and spontaneous but it's amazing.

He's so handsome in his suit.

He's also pissed.

He pushes your dress higher up around your waist. "Are you gonna stop calling me a friend like people don't already fucking know?" He grunts.

"Yuta, please."

"Please what?"

"I can't."

He stills himself inside of you and pulls back to stare you down. You squirm and try to move to relieve yourself in some way but he's too strong.

"Daddy, please. Oh my God- please," You beg helplessly hoping that he'll get lost in the softness of your voice.

He doesn't.

"I can't," He replies sarcastically.

You feel like crying, "I need you... please," You plead.

He thrusts into you once and stills himself again, "And I need you to stop being embarrassed about my age," he shoots back.

You try again to move against him to form any kind of friction but it's all in vain, "I'm not embarrassed," You lie.

"Bullshit." he seethes.

You sob, "Yuta, I-"

He presses a hand over your mouth, "Shut up. You're getting too loud and you're not really saying anything worth listening to anyway," he says.

You sob silently and wriggle desperately.

"I'm gonna move my hand and when I do, you'd better say something that's not gonna piss me off- got it?" he demands.

You nod eagerly and he moves his hand from your mouth to your neck, "Start fucking talking," he says roughly.

"I'm sorry. Please... I'm just scared of what people are gonna say. I'll stop it though. Please, I'll stop it- just please fuck me," You whimper.

"Tell me you love me," he demands as he fucks into you.

"I love you so much. I love you, I love you, I love you," You moan softly.

"Prove it and tell people I'm your man," he says as he pounds you,

"They already know I'm the one fucking you the way you like it."

[kiachiako]

n.yuta recs

my library of favorites <3 all creds to authors

oneshots

[m] that’s rich! | @tyonfs​ 27.7k — despite having everything in the palm of your hand, you soon realized that not everything could be won over by money and your jaw-dropping looks. unfortunately, you had to come to that conclusion when your birthday present was the bane of your existence, yuta nakamoto.

[m] heathens | @yutaholic​ 25.5k — For three years, you’ve been leading a team intent on bringing down one of the most ruthless gangs in town. By day, you keep getting dangerously close to exposing the upper rank members and by night, you pursue a heated love affair with Yuta, who has taken a curious interest in your investigation.

[m] deep end | @yutaholic​ 21.8k — What started as a very simple arrangement becomes an unexpected romance when you find yourself falling for rich playboy, Yuta, whose one rule in life is to never get attached, but with every moment spent with you, he begins to change his mind.

[m] on my own | @yutaholic​ 16.2k — When your boyfriend dumps you for Yuta’s girlfriend, and vice versa, you’re left heartbroken and angry. Then, Yuta calls you out of the blue with a dangerous idea in mind - sweet, petty revenge.

[m] dirty little secret (who has to know?) | @loviejaehyun​ 7.4k — you think it may be finally time to put your bad luck with love behind you once you meet a mysterious stranger, nakamota yuta, during your shift at the casino. you never would’ve guessed what he and his friends do in their free time. the greatest shock is what you do when you figure it out.

still in love | @neonun-au​ 2.2k — angst, fluff, exes to something more

[kimbappykidding]

You were not the type of girl anyone would expect Yuta, the ice prince himself to have fallen for. If you asked him he'd even tell you how he never meant for this to happen and was still kind of confused about how it did.

When he'd first noticed you he wasn't sure why you caught his attention. He usually liked edgy girls, with short hair and piercings who were unconventionally pretty and scoffed at the idea of traditional beauty. 

You weren't that person at all. Due to your big eyes you were always given cute concepts in your group Twice and were never allowed to cut your hair which was typically placed in pigtails as your signature stage look. You weren't the youngest member either, you were 2 years older than Tzuyu but you just really suited those concepts and your company capitalised on it, dressing you in pastel colours and cute tops with matching skirts. So when you walked into a show after-party in a powder blue dress with white faux fur on the edges, your long hair falling around you, Yuta shouldn't have even glanced over but he did and he also did a double take. You hadn't seen him and were laughing with Mina, chatting away happily. He'd seen your group around before but had never got a good look at you until now. Something about you intrigued him and he kept watching you throughout the night. Once he'd drank a little more he began to get ideas and he smiled leaning into the guys "okay who wants to see me go talk to the bubblegum princess y/n over there?". "Y/n?" Haechan asked "why would you talk to her? She's actually wearing a bright colour!". “Or any colour” Doyoung added making the members smile. "Not to mention she's not got a tattoo or piercing in sight" Johnny added grinning. Yuta shrugged with alcohol courage "well I'm going to go talk to her" and stood up.

You were once again at the bar with Mina and she paused mid-conversation as she focused on something behind you. You turned to find Yuta from NCT walking towards you. He smiled when he saw you watching him but not a big friendly smile more of a hot half-smile where he used his eyes. It was a smile that told you exactly what type of visit this was. "Hey" he said in greeting "you're Y/n right?". Mina patted your arm to let you know she was leaving and you nodded telling her it was okay. You looked at Yuta and smiled "yep and you're Yuta the dancer". "Ahh you've seen me dance?" he asked and you shrugged "yeah, it's not like we work in the same industry or anything". Yuta was shocked by your sarcasm and very amused by it. "That we do" he smiled "I like your dress, it's very cute". You smiled "thanks! Anything in particular you like about it?". Yuta paused trying to think of an appropriate answer and he glanced at your dress. When you could see him struggling you smiled "the colour or texture? Or maybe the design?". Yuta nodded "yes the silhouette is very nice". You nodded amused "yeah it is. I'm surprised you noticed that because most guys just like it because it's short and tight". Yuta blinked "hmm really?". You nodded "crazy right? But not you huh?" you asked and he smiled "there aren't a lot of guys like me". You laughed at his line which wasn't the reaction Yuta usually got or wanted. "I'm sure there isn't" you said looking him up and down "so what can I do for you Yuta?". This wasn't going as he expected but he never backed down. "It's more what I can i do for you, let me buy you a drink". You smiled "buy me a drink? Why?". "So I have an excuse to keep talking to you" he said with a smirk. You narrowed your eyes assessing him before nodding "okay" and headed off to the bar. Yuta rushed to follow you and then pretended like he didn't have a care in the world.

"So we've both been in this industry a while, why buy me a drink tonight?" you asked once you were sick of the polite small talk. Yuta shrugged "I guess I just wanted to get to know you better princess". You raised an eye "princess?". Yuta smirked "don't like it? I can call you whatever you like. Usually that's a popular one". "With all the girls clamouring for your affection" you said dramatically "I can see why". "You know you're not what i expected" Yuta admitted and you smiled. "What were you expecting? Some naive bashful girl who blushes every time you look at her? A princess?" you asked pointedly. Yuta laughed "well yeah". "That's why you don't judge a book by its cover" you said finishing your drink and setting your glass down with a satisfying clink. "Night Yuta, thanks for the drink" and with a wink you walked away. Yuta watched you go, admiring everything about you and then you looked back and caught him. You smirked and kept going which drove him crazy. "So how did it go?" Taeil asked when Yuta got back to the table and Yuta shook his head "she's gonna be mine" making all the boys smile. When Yuta wanted something he always got it so this would be entertaining. Yuta started by going some research. Apparently there had been rumours about you and Seventeen's Jeonghan but there was no proof you had ever dated. You were friends with all the female idols but never really got involved with the males and after your conversation, Yuta understood why. You weren't afraid to roast them or shoot them down with your wit. He also watched your interviews and found some dance practices where you were free of your cute concept and you looked so hot. There was one where you smiled right at the camera and he actually shivered. He was typically the dominant confident one so this was really interesting to him. One useful thing his members did know about you was you frequently visited a nearby beach. Jaehyun jogged there regularly and said he'd spotted you often. So Yuta started jogging there too and finally spotted you one day sat reading with a Tzuyu. He patted Jaehyun telling him he was going to go over to you and decided to go for it. So he took his shirt off, ran in the ocean so his chest was wet and then *happened* to be jogging past you. He paused when he saw you and pretended he'd only just seen you. "Y/n?" he called and you looked up at him and paused which he took as a good sign. "Yuta...hey" you said trying not to glance at his body which was on full display. Yuta knew people liked his tattoos and he got why. That was half the appeal of getting them. He saw you lose the battle, glancing at them before looking away and he smiled. He carried on chatting with you pretending he wasn't aware of the look on your face. He stretched a little giving you a better angle at his tattoos and chest. You were still checking him out and he realised you thought he couldn't see because you were wearing sunglasses. "Well I have to run but just so you know my eyes are up here y/n" he said "those sunglasses don't hide those beautiful roaming eyes" and he winked. You blushed and Yuta grinned "later" and carried on running. Yuta kept it up. At every award show he'd find some subtle way to flirt with 'you. He'd catch your eye and smile or manoeuvre himself so he was near you. At the afterparty, he'd come up and flirt with you and he kept the beach jogs going to flaunt himself a little. He could tell you wanted him so one day he just went for it. You'd agreed to let him buy you another drink and kept checking him out. He was wearing a tight black outfit which he'd worn just for you. He could feel the tension in the air so just rolled up his sleeves and leaned closer. "Why don't we just end all of this cat and mouse stuff and go back to mine?" Yuta asked "I know you find me hot. I can see it in your eyes". "What makes you think just because I think you're hot that I'll sleep with you?" you asked leaning in closer too. Yuta just smiled "because I know you want to and you'll enjoy it so much...so just give in". You paused smiling "will I?". He nodded "I'll make sure of it" and went to kiss you but you turned away. "See...guys can give lots of big promises and then in the moment they can't deliver. How do I know you're not like that?" you asked and smiled. That smile killed Yuta. It told him you knew exactly what you were doing to him and were enjoying this. You were playing with him. "Y/n look at me" he said and you did. "It won’t be over until we're both a mess for each other and you’re completely satisfied in every single possible way. That's a guarantee because I'm not letting you go anywhere until that pretty smile is a tired one". You raised an eyebrow "big talk...let's see if you can live up to it". Yuta didn't need telling twice, he took your hand and tugged you upright. The crowds seemed to part sensing his urgency and there were several stops before you made it to his place. He first kissed you in the car and it took him 5 minutes before he remembered he was meant to be driving. Then on the way upstairs you broke off again and even outside his door. When you finally reached his bedroom Yuta was practically at breaking point but you just sauntered in and took a seat on his bed as if you had no urgency in the world. You purposefully took your time taking your shoes and jacket off and Yuta watched you entranced. "So are you coming or what?" you asked suddenly looking up at him and Yuta knew this was going to be a long night. The next morning When Yuta came downstairs mid-morning all the members looked at him. "What?" he asked and they laughed. "You were so loud!" Mark complained. "Poor Jungwoo is traumatised!" Haechan said. Yuta smiled "well just be grateful we actually made it to my room. Y/n and I had a bet that i wasn't about to lose". "So you won?" Taeyong asked and Yuta looked down "not this time" making all the members explode in laughter. After that Yuta was even more desperate for you. He'd been disappointed when he woke up to find you gone and one night wasn't enough of you. Of course he didn't give any of that away and played it cool in front of you but he wasn't. He watched you perform on stage and couldn't believe that innocent stage character was the girl who'd driven him further than anyone else. You were so good at playing these different characters it was impressive and more than a little hot. He wanted you again but you seemed so hard to reach and he had no idea if he had even had any effect on you. His members all found it hilarious. Typically he was the one dodging girls' calls or avoiding them but this time it was him. "She still hasn't called!" he said a week later and the members exchanged smiles. "Well have you called her?" Taeil asked. "No" Yuta said and he smirked "then she's the same as you". "Plus you did lose the bet" Johnny said with a smirk "seems like she knows you'll...come to her first as it were". The guys all laughed and Yuta shook his head determined not to...atleast this time. Your members also found it amusing because you and Yuta were so obviously interested in one another without either of you wanting to admit it. "So how are things with Yuta?" Jeongyeon. You shrugged "fine, I'm just having some fun playing with him". The girls laughed and Jihyo smiled "well it's definitely working, he's like putty in your hands". "Yeah cut him some slack soon y/n or you're going to kill him!" Daehyun commented. You smiled "he thought I was some naive pillow princess who would be so obliging and compliant...so I've got a duty to completely destroy that notion and make him work for it". Your members laughed in agreement "but y/n isn't it hard?" Chaeyoung asked "he is pretty hot". You shrugged when Momo carried on "and those tattoos! Tell me they're not impossible to lose it over". You paused and they all began to smile at your reaction. They all started laughing and you broke "I'll admit his tattoos and body in general are very good...i didn't initially plan on sleeping with him until I saw them". Your members all laughed at your confession and assured you they'd do the same. "He's hot but you're hotter" Jihyo said and you smiled "well he certainly seems to think so and I'm not going to disagree with him". At the next kpop afterparty, you still hadn't contacted him and somehow Yuta had managed to hold out too. However Yuta sighed as you walked through the door because you looked just as amazing as always. Jaehyun looked up when he heard Yuta sigh and smirked realising why as he spotted you. "Just go up to her". Yuta shook his head "no I need to be smarter, get some information on her...and I know exactly how" as he saw Seventeen walk in. Yuta waited for Jeonghan to go to the bar and appeared beside him. He nodded to Jeonghan which the boy returned and then started his mission. "I heard a rumour you were dating Y/n from the group Hestia" Yuta said. Jeonghan raised an eyebrow "really?". Yuta nodded "is it true?". Jeonghan shrugged "who knows" and walked away with his drink which wasn't the response Yuta wanted. He was expecting Jeonghan to reassure him they'd never been together. Now he was wondering if you were seeing him too! You saw Yuta the moment you walked into the bar but pretended you hadn't. He seemed to be doing the same to you but when Jeonghan told you what had happened at the bar you couldn't resist going over. Yuta was sat guarding the table texting when he felt someone behind him. "I heard you've been asking about me?" Yuta heard a voice say and turned to see you stood there. You were dressed in red, one of Yuta's favourite colours and it looked even better up close. Yuta paused "have I?". You smiled and took a seat next to him "Jeonghan and I have a deal. We always tell the other if anyone asks If we're together. It's a good heads up". Yuta nodded "so you are together then?". You shrugged "would that bother you if it were true?". Yuta paused "I guess that depends...if your boyfriend was happy for us to do what we did a few weeks ago then I'd have no problems with it". You smiled "and if he wasn't". "Then it's a little late I guess" Yuta joked and you laughed. "Good job he's not my boyfriend then huh?". Yuta looked at you "he's not?". "Nope" you said and Yuta smiled before trying to hide it "cool...good to know". "We did date for a while though" you said and Yuta looked up "you did?" feeling a little jealous. You nodded "yep, he was my first proper boyfriend and I learned a lot from him. See Jeonghan and I are very similar, we were very good together". "So why is he over there and I'm the person you're going home with tonight?" Yuta asked. You raised an eyebrow at Yuta's statement but didn't comment. "It just didn't work out for us...but we're still very good friends and are quite protective over one another". Yuta shrugged growing less and less fond of Jeonghan by the second. "Well I guess I'll just have to make you forget all about him then" he said placing a hand on your knee. "You think you can?" you asked "Jeonghan's pretty memorable you know" you smiled teasingly. Yuta shook his head "after I'm done you won't even remember your own name let alone his". He was inches away from you and with just a look from you he would be leading you out of here and back to his place. He stared at you desperately waiting for you to grant him that but you just smiled and gently placed a hand on his chest. "I'll call you when I want you" and walked away.

Yuta practically collapsed back into his seat and watched you go with a frustrated sigh. To make things worse, minutes later he saw you with Jeonghan and the boy actually smirked at him. Jeonghan made eye contact with Yuta and then led you away into the night with him. Yuta was more determined than ever that you���d be his. Protective ex boyfriends be damned. 

_________

Yuta’s butterfly tattoos are the hottest thing in SM along with Chanyeol’s abs and everything about Kai and that’s a fact...atleast for me 😂

Part 2 is now up and can be found here!