#zee's rambling

[zee-the-zebra]

Being "Gifted" and the Standards for Oneself: A Personal Analysis of Veritas Ratio

So this really isn’t a traditional analysis of a character. This is more just my extended thoughts on the character through a personal lens and through my personal experiences.

So I love Dr. Ratio. Not just because his design is wonderful, and I think he's funny. But I also relate to him on a deeply personal level. Which may seem strange at first, but when it comes to the subtext of his character it makes sense to me.

To start, everything about him screams former gifted kid. Which usually translates to "Neurodivergent child who wasn't diagnosed until years later". And like most former gifted kids, he was probably told he was going to great things. In his case, he was probably told he would be recognized by Nous and welcomed into the Genius Society. He had already proven himself to be a brilliant individual, so he believed it would only be a matter of time before he was invited.

But he never was.

Look at every single "genius". They are all selfishly motivated in some form or fashion. That's why he is never considered a genius. That is why he never gain the gaze of the Erudition. Because he wasn't willing to be selfish for the pursuit of knowledge.

And the thing is, he really doesn't need to be a genius. He's already completing his goals of trying to eliminate ignorance from the universe as is. He's already a brilliant man. He's already done so many amazing things already. Even with his somewhat pompous attitude, he genuinely desires to help everyone around him. He's a genuinely selfless person.

But it's not enough. It's not enough because he's selfless. To him, it's never enough. Because he doesn't, or rather can't follow the same path as the geniuses, he feels he isn't enough. That even with all his achievements and work, he's not enough. Because he isn't what he's supposed to be, what people expected him to be, he isn't enough.

That is what really resonates with me. It's that belief that you have to be "normal" or something else to be worth something. It's that belief in a standard set by a different version of you that makes you believe you're not enough. That you've only gotten worse as time goes on. That despite your best efforts you're never going to improve. That the only way to go is down. That because those standards aren't met, you're worthless.

And that's what makes him resonate so much with me as a character. Because I've been there. I had that spiral. I've felt like that I've only gotten stupider as the years go on because I couldn't reach those standards set by being "gifted". When in reality I simply just couldn't deal with my ADHD or Depression without help anymore. I wasn't getting worse, I just needed some help.

And it seems Veritas is already heading in that direction as well. He constantly speaks of following his own path, but perhaps he thinks it doesn't apply to him because of those standards. Perhaps he still believes he isn't enough.

After all, it takes a lot of time to unlearn that.

If you got this far thanks for reading. <3

[biboomerangboi]

More reasons why Zuko being the Firelord is objectively the funniest thing on earth:

HES SEVENTEEN

He hasn’t been civilised in 4 years, his entire teenage experience consists of living on a boat and sleeping rough. The most stable bed he has was probably in Ba Sing Se he probably will just nap anywhere.

He has customer service experience which means he probably uses his customer service voice on his minsters.

Additionally he probably just wanders into to kitchen to get his own snacks and tea because he forgets what servants do.

He probably has no idea why he can’t just chase after an assassin he used to hunt the avatar for Agnis sake why is the captain of the guard demanding he stay in his room he’ll find the guy first (he’s probably right)

Katara probably has a free pass on Eco terrorism because what’s he going to do challenge her, she’ll beat his ass.

If he saw a minster doing something shady he will either invite lady Beifong to detect their BS or commit B&E and look for evidence himself.

He somehow found a baby dragon and raises it.

He will be far to willing to give Kyoshi island anything they want cause he feels bad and Suki scares him.

He randomly insisted on giving some earth kingdom village 100 ostrich horses.

The Avatar will just show up call him Hotman and demand the go on adventures and the Firelord will just dip because he’s been confined to long and has the Zoomies.

He takes far to much advice from Sokka and will genuinely believe if someone doesn’t get Sokkas plans they must be an idiot because Sokka is 16.

Sokka and Zuko also get into a lot of teenage rebellion phases by accident.

Toph just walks in breaks a wall of his palace and demands a field trip that always involves the Firelord having to explain himself to the cops.

He somehow knows every dangerous teen in the world and they all come for tea uninvited.

He has broken into both the NWT and Ba Sing Se.

He has a really well documented facial scar and official portraits but still disappears to be Lee the tea guy like no one knows.

HES SEVENTEEN.

[tawaifeddiediaz]

you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.

[angelribbon]

stepdad!logan makes you sit between his thighs while he’s manspreading btw 🎀😊

[thepowerofswayze]

Can I get 100 with Mike Schmidt

oh mike how i've missed writing about you <3

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

My Love Mine All Mine, by Mitski || Mike Schmidt

nothing in this world belongs to me but my love, mine all mine all mine

☆

Taking care of Abby had been Mike’s number one priority for most of his life. Since his parents had left the picture, he’d taken up the job without question. If he was honest with himself, he’d started taking care of her long before they’d gone.

Abby was the first thing he had to think of when even entertaining the idea of making plans, when thinking of taking time for himself. Even when he’d find himself developing feelings for someone new, he’d end up asking, Could I do this and take care of Abby? What if I don’t spend enough time with her? What if I don’t spend enough time with my partner? The questions would keep him up at night until he’d successfully crushed any hope he had of doing something for himself for once. It didn’t seem like he could have any kind of relationship and be a good guardian to his little sister, and he knew that no matter what, he’d always choose to do the latter.

But with you…

Mike watched as you stirred in your sleep, almost as if you could tell his thoughts had shifted to focus on you. The moonlight streamed into his room from the blinds, falling over your face, illuminating the marks on your soft skin and the curve of your nose. He pushed a strand of hair off your forehead.

He’d always thought that nothing was really his- not his time, not his money, not his future- but you were. You sought him out, you were there when he needed you, you listened to him and he enjoyed listening to you. He could still take care of Abby- in fact, you loved to help with her- but that no longer meant he had to give away every part of himself. You were something he could have all to himself, and he was that for you, too.

He slid his arm around your waist and you sighed, opening your eyes slightly. You mumbled something incoherent, and Mike chuckled. “Back to sleep, baby,” he murmured, pulling you closer to him. “You were just kinda far.”

You threw your arm over him in return, eyes closing again as you nestled into him. Another string of noises that were probably meant to be words, and you were out, breathing deeply. He matched his breaths to yours, taking in the smell of your hair as he drifted off.

[bornt-urnge]

I'm not gonna outright say "social media bad" or "phone bad," I just don't think our brains were designed to see two new video game trailers, five furry porn posts, and three videos about a presidential assassination attempt all within five minutes of each other.

[solomiracle]

i've seen luke be called british i've seen luke be called french THAT LITTLE BOY IS GERMAN DONT TELL ME YOU CANT SEE IT

[monprecieuxx]

See the thing is, to me, Twins at the heart of it has become about loneliness. Regardless of how much they’re explored or present on screen, every character is so painfully alone. By choice, by circumstances, by accident, just so crippingly lonely.

Sprite is alone by circumstance. He’s alone because no one prefers him, alone because Zee is a better bearer of their mother’s expectations. He’s the older twin and overlooked and he still tries, my goodness he tries so hard that it makes me wonder how anyone in his life can see that and not adore him to pieces. He’s so lonely he thinks his brother’s known nemesis is his closest confidant. In this team full of people who hate the one who wears his face he would rather tackle trying to befriend First, that it is the best choice. Idk if it’s naïveté or just unchallenged confidence he built up as a way to survival but it’s so audacious, it’s kind of brilliant.

And it works, it wears First down, he manages to get these people to like him but at the end of the day, it’s not him they like. This timed repose of belonging but only when he is standing in for someone else. Holding onto Zee’s life while his falls to pieces and for what? No credit, no appreciation, not even a hint of understanding from his mother, his father, even Salmon or Tan.

First is similar in the sense of never getting afforded the favouritism Zee enjoys from his father and his sister being a Zee stan just adds salt to the wound. The only people who prefer him are the team and even then they are so factioned he’s part of the in-group and still stands alone.

Zee, see Zee is so interesting to me cause his loneliness is self-inflicted. Maybe it started when the twins were split, maybe when he became part of the team we don’t know. We’ve only seen the worst parts of him until now and he seems to be content functioning in that window too. He’s thrust into this life w/o any input, seems to be doing it right and he’s still miserable. He has the recognition, he allegedly has the skill, he (undeservedly, in a way) has the girl and he still vows to take over Sprite’s life? And do what? Wreak havoc as him? Permanently replace him? Just hang around to fuck w/Sprite?

Idk where im going w/this, just ruminating about characters from this silly twin swap show.

[hughjidiot]

Realized I've become the guy in glasses from this meme.

[zee-the-zebra]

Sometimes I think about how Wowaka wrote Unhappy Refrain because as much as he liked making Vocaloid music, he wanted to be appreciated as the creator, rather than being entirely overshadowed by the voicebank.

And then I think about the Wowaka tribute during Magical Mirai 2019. And how when the crowd realized what it was, they started chanting his name. Not Miku's. His.

[biboomerangboi]

Hua Cheng essentially cockblocking himself for possibly all of eternity will literally never not be the funniest thing MXTX ever wrote.

Xie Lian was pretty much completely in love with him the second he saw those lanterns (and completely oblivious about it) and then we get the wonderful first kiss underwater moment and Xie Lian is basically drawing hearts around Hua Cheng every time he sees him. While like quietly dying cause he literally has no idea what to do with it. Like at this point he doesn’t even really understand that he is head over heels totally gone for this man.

Until Hua Cheng is like I have a beloved I just haven’t won them over yet. Which he thinks is perfectly reasonable because his self esteem is the worst and he doesn’t understand how he could have won Xie Lian over yet. (He’s only on step 22 of his Marrying Dianxia 3000 step Master Plan ((that he debates throwing out on a regular basis because he doesn’t deserve to even dream about wanting Xie Lian)). So course he’s like yeah I have this wonderful noble beautiful beloved I just haven’t won them over yet wink wink nudge nudge.

But Xie Lian is like oh of course obviously I don’t deserve nice things and fuck I actually wanted him so badly I’m actually in love with him and now I will resign myself to never being happy for his sake. (Their combined self esteem is truly a so low it’s a hole in the ground which is hilarious because they think the other person is to good for them and unattainable forever because they literally have the same neurosis.) So he starts boxing up his feelings forever constantly wanting Hua Cheng and feeling guilty about it and literally dying inside because he wants Hua Cheng like he’s never wanted anyone.

Like essentially books 3 and 5 only happen because Hua Cheng has now cursed them both by saying he has a beloved because Xie Lian believes he isn’t wanted and therefore any nice thing Hua Cheng does is just him being nice and not Hua Cheng pulling out steps 23-34 of his plan thinking he still hasn’t won Xie Lian over. (He has he so has but he shot himself in the foot so badly it’s painful to read).

Like thank the Gods Hua Cheng is so unhinged and created the cave of 10000 Gods cause Xie Lian would literally be at his own wedding to Hua Cheng still convinced he wanted someone else and this was in fact a thing they were doing to solve a case together otherwise.

Like he needed something that unhinged to put 2 and 2 together otherwise he never would have caught on he’s Hua Cheng’s beloved. Meanwhile Hua cheng is like 🥺 he’s going to think I’m a weirdo now and I’m only on step 50 of the plan 🥺 like the two of them wouldn’t have been fucking nasty 2 books ago if he just kept his mouth shut and didn’t cockblock himself so violently.

[tawaifeddiediaz]

wait eddie finding someone with similar interests actually goes beyond buck's jealousy or anything else because he's finding someone who embraces these parts of him that that previously were framed around his trauma (or rather, he's finding someone to embrace these parts with, even if tommy isn't necessarily aware):

the army

helicopters

mma/fighting

cars

like...this isn't just him getting a new friend. it's also him embracing all these things as hobbies rather than the depths of things he struggled with. (army, being shot out of the sky, street fighting, crashing his dad's truck/buying one with illegal money, etc)

anyway im gonna go cry about him

[angelribbon]

dbf!logan making you squirt for the first time 😔

[fandoms-and-salt]

The main problem with Ruby gillman movie is that it sends a message that "bigotry is actually justified and your racist grandparents are right". The second, closely related problem is it's villain.

Firstly, if we look at the film without the spoiler-y marketing, Chelsea/Neressa is written as a twist villain. Like Hans Frozen type twist villain, with little foreshadowing and those "sympathetic" scenes that actually don't amount to anything and might just as well be a lie. Even with the marketing, i think the movie still tricked people into thinking that Chelsea might be a misunderstood villain or have a redemption arc or what not. And twist villains could work well, usually if their turn to villainy makes sense with their preestablished goals and personality (eg. Disney's Atlantis). Or a liar villain could work well if the audience knows of their malicious plans, but the heroes stay in the dark (eg. Scar from Lion King). In general, if the twist or reveal makes the story/conflict less interesting and/or didn't have proper foreshadowing, viewers are bound to dislike it.

Secondly, Chelsea is our only mermaid. And she is, well, evil. It would have been better if we had other good mermaid characters, but she is the only one, which, coupled with Gramamah's generous description of mermaids, makes it seem like all mermaids are as evil as she is.

Thirdly, yes, stories for young children about pure good fighting pure evil are generally fine, it teaches them right and wrong, so they can later consume media with more complex lessons. But in those stories the good guys are usually the underdogs fighting an oppressive evil. In mermaid vs kraken conflict, it's actually mermaids who are at a disadvantage. Krakens are big rulers ("protectors") of the ocean with superpowers. The characters themselves admit that Granmamah is a warlord. Mermaids are small, weak and need a magic trident to even match the power of krakens. Their only "advantage" is being popular with humans, while krakens are feared and hated, but humans have no effect on the story or the conflict. If the story was that mermaids are actually more powerful rulers of the ocean, or the kraken family were the just rules but got conquered/overthrown by evil mermaids, or if both species were of equal power ruling their own parts of the ocean and mermaids decided to go and conquer the peaceful kraken kingdom. Then the good vs evil conflict would have looked less like "how dare these evil inferior minorities challenge the rule of our superior race".

Speaking of which. Ruby's first instinct, even after finding out that "mermaids are actually evil" from her granma, is to judge Chelsea as her own person and assume that mermaids can't be actually evil. Which is, you know, a pretty fair and mature response. When she hears that mermaids suffer from terrible conditions, she actively tries to fight what she sees as injustice. But what lesson does she learn? That she should never question her elders, since they do know better. The story is fighting for the status quo to stay the same, while Ruby is punished to trying to change and improve it.

That's all i can say for now. Other complaints i have are:

humans are virtually useless to the story (including the love interest, tho he had some cute moments), they are just damsels-in-distress and trophies for Ruby to save and get approval from. This movie just as well could happen all under the sea with some minor tweaks.

The human designs are weird and uncanny. Otherwise the visuals are fine.

Ruby's arc is kind of all over the place with her main arc being the classic "believe in yourself", which she mainly gains through hanging out with Chelsea. But isn't Chelsea supposed to be the villain who "leads Ruby astray" from being a good citizen who is not skipping school, lying to her mom or ignoring her friends and crush? Make it make sense, movie.

[itspanzee]

XO, Kitty having mostly a kpop soundtrack is so revolutionary.

[penncilkid]

Alright since I'm 95% @mr-laveau hasn't realized what today is, I'm taking the liberty of posting about it before xe can (Veau, if you're reading this: 🖕💕 /lh). So!

Today's technically the 1 year anniversary of the first ever NeXus video!

"PK, what's NeXus?" The very lovely audio roleplay channel made by the aforementioned/tagged Veau! It's got a wide collection of characters and funky storylines paired with sick ass art.

"Whoa, that's super cool! Where should I start?" If you want the very first video, you'd start here with Uriah. But I don't think you can go wrong with any of the character and/or storyline playlists!

One of my personal favorite videos is this one right here (biased as Freelancer Storyline fan /lh /pos):

As for some of my personal favorite speakers, I'd go with:

Asteroth

Oscar

Khaleed

Again, really can't go wrong, you'll find plenty to sink your teeth into regardless. If you're a Redacted or Castle fan (or somehow an NR), I can't recommend NeXus enough. /pos

@mr-laveau Congrats on one year of NeXus! You deserve all the praise it gets 🫶