#zhang zongchad

[helpmeimblorboing]

Zhang Zongchang cannot be a real human man

He once proclaimed that he would return in a coffin if he lost a battle and, when he lost, he paraded through the city in a coffin, smoking a cigar

He was called a "General with three long legs" by Shanghai's prostitutes in reference to his penis size. Absolute chad

General 86 because his finest piece was as long as 86 silver dollars stacked on top of each other

These are some of the titles he gained :

Three Don't Knows": Based on Zhang's alleged lack of knowledge about how much money he had, how many soldiers, and how many women in his harem.

"72-Cannon Chang":This nickname might also have been connected to the alleged length of his penis.

His last words were "No good"

He wrote these:

Praying for Rain

Jade Emperor, your last name is also Zhang;

Why do you give Zhang Zongchang such a hard time?

If you don’t make it rain within three days,

First I will turn your temple upside down,

Then I will blast your mom with a big cannon

A poem about bastards

You tell me to do this

He tells me to do that

You're all bastards

Go fuck your mother

"

Zhang's father worked as head shaver and trumpeter, and was an alcoholic. His mother was an exorcist and "practicing witch".

Later that year, he was living quietly in Beppu, Japan, with his mother, though he was thrown into the spotlight again when he "accidentally" shot Prince Xiankai (憲開), a cousin of the deposed emperor Puyi. According to Zhang the gun he was holding while standing at his hotel window happened to go off and shoot the young prince in the back, killing him instantly, though it was more likely he killed the playboy prince for dallying with one of Zhang's many concubines. He was charged, found guilty by a Japanese court and given the choice between 15 days' imprisonment or a $150 (US) fine. He chose the fine.

His funeral attracted family members, ex-retainers, paid mourners, and "the curious"; the funeral procession stretched for 2 miles (3.2 km).

He loved to boast about the size of his penis, which become part of his legend. Zhang was a "well-known womanizer", and kept some 30 to 50 concubines of different nationalities, who were given numbers since he could not remember their names nor speak their language.

He was strongly influenced by a Daoist diviner, Tong Huagu, who had allegedly convinced the warlord of his powers by successfully prophesying that a train would derail. It was rumoured that the diviner had ensured this outcome by bribing some peasants to sabotage the tracks. In summer 1927, a famine struck Shandong particularly hard, and Zhang Zongchang was reported to have gone into a temple of the Dragon King to pray for rain. When this failed to improve the situation, Zhang returned to the temple. In his fury, he slapped the Dragon King's statue several times, and ordered his artillery to shoot into the sky for several hours. He also intended to build a shrine devoted to himself, including a large bronze statue, at Daming Lake.

Holy fuck.

Zhang Zongchang ? More like Zhang Zongchad

"the Chinese warlord Zhang Zongchang, who ruled Shandong during a turbulent period of civil war and was known for his exceptional brutality and sexual exploits, kept his elderly mother near him at all times. Even on campaign, he gave her a personal railcar to accompany his army in."

I can only dream of being this based