takingstockofwhatmattersmost - Tumblr blog

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

i cannot surrender to your silent sigh the gentle glow of our past...now dull in the starkness where shadows fall lost in the chill of love's eulogy may i resurrect our lust...if ripened?

forgive this heart ensnared in its plight able to only embrace your tender touch yet... i sense a stirring in our dark night a warmth, like silk, aching for such ~ connection you're my whisper in the quiet

i sleep...enveloped in a shivering embrace letting the breeze trace where passion plays once ruby now lay veiled in gray lace yet, in the stillness, a yearning to rise to breathe life into this dormant space

**After The Hollow Quiet**

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

Thanks for replying to my earlier ask.

Let me ask you another one, please. You said you stopped being angry. How? I'm angry all the time at everyone and I don't know why or what to do. Even when I don't feel it, rage can rear up at any moment and I have no control.

No worries. Hmmm...how did I stop being so angry all the time?? Just so everyone knows, I do still get angry on occasion. I don't want you to think I'm some Saint. I am not. I get angry, I still want to punch things, everything, now and then. I just don't. The answer is not as easy as just "Oh, I flipped a switch and now I never get angry anymore". There is no point in time that I can name that was THAT time. I think it's a conglomeration of moments really. I grew up. I grew older. I reflected on all those angry moments that I lost it and realized it never, NEVER ONCE, solved a single problem. I got married to an actual Saint, I had children that needed me to stop being so angry. I stopped the substances. There are a million little reasons. Everyone will have there own reasons to curb their anger...hopefully. The fact that you are reaching out is one reason. You recognize it is another. When I was younger and angry...I couldn't give two shits less whether I was angry, or what you or anyone else said about it. You are steps ahead of me. If you're lucky, one day you'll wake up and wonder..."where did all my anger go". Until then, just keep waking up. Usually, those with anger control issues have "I don't want to wake up tomorrow" issues too. Don't let anger win...be stronger than that until you don't have to be. If I can make it, anyone can make it. Disclaimer...I'm not a great advise giver. I'm a every person should take responsibility for their actions person.

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

Honored and humbled…

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

i cannot surrender to your silent sigh the gentle glow of our past...now dull in the starkness where shadows fall lost in the chill of love's eulogy may i resurrect our lust if ripened?

forgive this heart ensnared in its plight able to only embrace your tender touch yet...i sense a stirring in our dark night a warmth, like silk, aching for such ~ connection you're my whisper in the quiet

i sleep...enveloped in a shivering embrace letting the breeze trace where passion plays once ruby now lay veiled in gray lace yet, in the stillness, a yearning to rise to breathe life into this dormant space

I can’t give you

the murmur soft glow, it has faded into

the bleak sharpnesses which

lay so well laid; icy perceptions

of love lost, left to the turmoils,

left to the spoils, my heart tilled

down and down, macerated.

And now, please, forgive my

weakness that won’t allow that

little punctuation of you, to squeeze

through to my cherished chest.

I can feel, the unfolding, the spreading,

like warmth through cotton sheets,

just a little too far off, for heat to pass into

my little veins.

I sleep in the shiver.

I let the wind caress the pulse I once felt

to a standstill. Now, nothing is ruby or

crimson, or crushing, or bleeding.

Everything is silent. As it should be.

How now, shall I ever breathe again?

—The Hollow Quiet

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

when days drift to tomorrows and memories finally fade when every corner doesn’t become a chance to run into you…again after a lifetime of days longing for just that one day i’ll be free to be me once more if only i could remember what for

forgetting you  is what i fail at the most

and the years roll by

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

i'm compelled to linger

bound to your side forevermore

our paths converge

please beckon me, whisper soft

your words ensnare my dreams, a fleeting dance

only as long as you remain

i am now at home

in the shadowed forest depths, i'll roam

once more beneath our shroud of solitude

yet within, i'll cradle close

the memories and the tangled web we weave

the swirling chaos that pulses in my chest

there is no parting kiss to be given

i'll smile and love for an age

the solitary eternity that's ours alone

i have to go

and i can’t be with you

any more

don’t call me up nor text me

you loop me into a daydream that never ends

only for as long as you’re staying

I’ve got to go home.

and drink in the dark forest woods,

once again, beneath my shell of loneliness,

i’ll always keep in my heart,

the memories and the mess you made

the white chaos that beats from within my chest

and when you give me your last kiss goodbye,

i’ll weep and wail only for an eternity

—the only forever i’ve ever known

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

Circus Of Sorrows

she had misadventure eyes always shifted to one side as if looking for something just out of view you and love tattooed all over her thin skin with invisible ink she thought it fitting

she was a delicate soul never really whole living life as if it were a circus of sorrows a party in polka-dots and diamonds short short dresses, pearls, and bobs no smiles though only slightly parted, pouty lips in pale pink

in her world there was love it was a roller coaster a misguided adventure to be sure in dappled, cool colors a visual heartbreak

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

My very first go at Rebelle 7 Pro...redoing a painting I completed on Artrage a few months ago. There is a learning curve, especially since I don't have a proper drawing tablet yet and am using a mouse that is NOT accurate!! I love Artrage for the oil paints and brushed, but NOTHING is better than Rebelle when it comes to watercolors. I want to be able to use watercolors if I choose, so it's time to learn. Anyone that wants to donate a Wacom or X-pen drawing tablet...I'm not too shy to beg! ;-)

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

passion alights my veins...like wildfire eager to ignite the night with every glance aching for delivery, i tremble with desire each breath a scandal...a silent caper in the quiet, our bodies speak in magnitudes words unspoken but known in every touch tranquil, the vessel for our love's blooms where every pause is a promise, a clutch

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

words danced through my days she pleasured my nights

in sunlight...life scripted in candles glow, it was impassioned

words are my oxygen she is my existance

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

The whisper of wind...the warmth of sun

Embrace the waves in moon's soft glow

In your arms passions bloom and grow

The voice of rain and the gaze of stars

Fall of leaves with a broken heart

The chaos you created and I fall apart

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

some days...i'm okay others i'm exhausted

i need a break i want to rest loving everyone...but losing myself am i making sense? i hope so

waiting for a break then i'll feel better need to clear my mind

sorry for disappearing losing track of myself on my way back to me

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

scars are never straight they are crooked and jagged and red and purple they are created from bent knives dull and rusted they heal wrong and require constant care if they are to heal at all scars are ugly until they are understood then… and only then… can be beautiful

…and they can be beautiful this i know

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

Pristine

I whisper your name

The wind carries the softness

To your eager lips

I inhale a breath of wind so gentle

Like a prayer, keeping faith

Whisper my name

And I call…”Pristine”

Into the night once again

My words are your breath

A grin on your lips

Lips that cover mine

As I tremble and sigh

A grin we both share

A kiss, we both give and take

I whisper your name…

**A collaboration between takingstockofwhatmattersmost (in bold) & iamnopristine (in italics)**

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

you need not speak of your demise to echo in the air or sense the bitterness of ruin do not fade drift distant  or sink beneath river's floor

woman…

strength pulses through your veins borne upon your words those words elevate and you SHALL speak of life of flames unscathed you can thrive and feed imbibing pure waters

woman…

reject the beasts' falsehoods without you, all is for nothing

woman…

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

Who are you and why did you like my posts?

I doubt you have the guts to tell the truth, but I wish you would.

My name is Kevin. I like your posts because I like most poetry. Dark poetry doesn't mean bad poetry necessarily. Also, to let you know there people who read your words, listen to your story.

Why do you doubt I'd have the guts to tell the truth?? You obviously don't know who I am...I shy away from nothing and no one. The world needs more truth-tellers.

[takingstockofwhatmattersmost]

i no longer reflect the man I once was the words I penned ...fueled by hate anger my only muse pain tainted my attempts at beauty inauthenticity...glaringly evident then, you entered my world us together...transforming me no longer the fool behind unread words i now reflect the poetry within us both