tearssmileslaughtermylife - Tumblr blog

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

i love you but fuck you

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

I hope you’re doing alright.

“Miss you” @remnant-thoughts

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

if something doesn’t help you move further ahead, improve your situation, or help you find peace it’s not worth it

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

Don’t cross oceans for people who wouldn’t cross a puddle for you.

J.C (via menpale)

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

I don't regret meeting you guys, I regret how long it took me to realize you weren't worth everything I did.

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

I'm not the type to try to get revenge, when others have wronged me, but I honestly don't know why I cared about you so much. You'll never be apart of my life again. Ever. You are dead to me. When a best friend breaks your heart, that's when you'll feel the worst pain of your life. Kindly go fuck yourself.

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

reblog this if you want a LONG (or short) anonymous message saying what they think of you.

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

Losing Everything In The Blink of an Eye

I might not deserve happiness, or love or anything good in this life. I've fucked up probably every good thing I had going for me. I've disappointed everyone in my life. I've made horrible decisions, that could've cost me my life. Hell Im still making bad decisions, but I'm honestly trying. I've given a good decade of my life to people I thought would always be there for me. I've done things that caused these people to be out of my life and I think that pain is worse then any broken bone, heartbreak, or sudden death in the family, I'll ever have/go through. When you have people in your life that become your family, that you become so close to, nothing matters but them, and it all disappears with a literal blink of an eye, it does something to a person. Over the past month, I've done nothing but cry cry cry cry cry. Apart of me broke a month ago. A part of me was torn, it was demolished, it was destroyed. A part of my heart was taken when those special people left me. They say time heals everything, right? I'm sure it heals most things or just makes them easier but I don't think any amount of time will do that for me. Most days, these people are at the back of my mind and I get through the day feeling fine, but then the bad days hit. Man do they Fucking hit hard. They really fucking beat me up. Some days, I wake up and I know it's going to be a bad day because I wake up "feeling". My emotions are usually numb and nothing bothers me and I just deal with daily bullshit, but then these emotional days come and I just want to jump off a bridge. I don't know if I should feel pain, sorrow, loss, anger...I don't know what I should feel at all. All I know is what I do feel is pure Fucking pain. Pain like I never felt before. Sometimes I believe there's something ripping me apart inside. I spent 10 years loving these people and they're gone.... a lot of why they are gone is my fault, but then again it's not all my fault. These people were my world, my whole heart. My family. My best friend, my sister, my niece, my baby, my brother, my mother, my father, my Pap, my kitties, my Luna. My Fucking everything. They were my reason for waking up. They were my reason I was a strong girl. They were my reason for smiling. They gave me reasons to live. They gave me the strength to keep pushing on, even when I was at my darkest and most low points, they pulled me back up and shook me out of it and helped me. They were there through every up and down of my entire miserable, shitty life. They loved me. They took me in to there family and made me apart of it. They gave me what I never had. Real, pure --LOVE. I think they loved me, just as much as I loved them. Now all I feel is hurt. I will never hate them. I can't hate them, it's not possible too. I don't even think I'll even ever stop loving them. I just don't know if I have it in me to fight. I know I can't fight for them any longer. If they want me in there lives they will make that leap towards me. I don't even know what else to say besides tears. Just thinking of them brings overwhelming amounts of tears. I shouldn't be crying over them anymore. A normal friendship ends and it sucks for a while but you get over it and move on....Well for this one, and for me, I don't think I'll ever get over it. I invested to much of my heart into these people. When they left they took my heart with them. Thank you guys for everything you have done for me. Making me stronger, making me feel like I had a real family, helping me through every crazy obstacle life gave me and best of all loving me. You guys taught me love. I didn't think I could love until I met you guys. If any of you see this, just know that I'm sorry and I'm forever grateful I had the past decade to grow with you guys. Without you, I would've crashed and burned a long time ago.

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

I can relate to this

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]

[tearssmileslaughtermylife]