teeth-stealer - Tumblr blog

[teeth-stealer]

If you’re a transfem that shits on transmascs fuck you. If you’re a transmasc that shits on transfems fuck you too. Do better.

[teeth-stealer]

iykyk-

For example, if you're speaking to a receptionist at a medical practice or calling idk your insurance company

I was going to specify "the first time" but then I realized I'm actually more likely to spell my name automatically if I know they're looking it up in a set of records

[teeth-stealer]

drink water please..come on , just get a little sip of water . youre so thorsty.... pplease

[teeth-stealer]

not caring too much about a fandom’s favourite guy is the worst. you’ll think “oh i’ll look into the tag see if anything new and cool’s there” and it’s just that fucking guy again

[teeth-stealer]

Abled Person: Hey man, can you hold this wad of $2,000 and this one penny for me while I open my wallet?

Disabled Person: YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOL!

The United States Government:

(Watch how many people don’t get this.)

[teeth-stealer]

I had a dream that I started seeing posts on tumblr about the "the pool water update." It was some new change to the site, being rolled out gradually, that people mostly didn't like.

When I got the pool water update, it turned out that when you opened up tumblr it would fill the room you were in with chlorinated water, up to the level of half an inch below your power outlets.

So to use tumblr you had to hold still, because too much movement would cause ripples that would rise to the outlets and electrify the water and kill you.

I had mixed feelings about the update. I got some pool noodles and it was nice to float around my bedroom whenever I checked tumblr. There was a trend called 'tranquilityposting' that I enjoyed. So not all bad.

There were a lot of blaze posts on dream-tumblr selling amulets that nullify electricity damage. Also, @max1461 claimed to have developed a 'posting technique that causes uncontrollable thrashing in 60% of tumblr users,' and was demanding a cash ransom to not use it

[teeth-stealer]

THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN THE WAYSIDE SCHOOL BOOKS WITH NO CONTEXT

The blueprints were sideways, so now the school is 30 stories tall

They forgot to add the 19th floor, where Miss Zarves teaches.

Elevators are installed to deal with the long climb. They are only used once and can never be used again.

A dead rat tries to sneak into class by wearing multiple raincoats

School's closed due to cows

World's number one ice cream lover devastated that she can't taste ice cream named after herself.

The third book is called "Wayside School Gets A Little Stranger". They don't appear until the end.

The author's self insert eats a woman alive. He would then go on to write "Holes" 20 years later.

One of the stories is called "What?". It's written backwards.

There are three Erics. To remember which is which, they each have nicknames that reflect the polar opposite of their actual selves.

A boy and a girl trade names, which inspires the rest of the class to do the same, leading to an incredibly confusing reading experience.

Benjamin Nushmutt accidentally is called a completely different name, and Ben is too shy to correct anyone about it

After long deliberation between all of the classmates, Calvin decides that he wants a tattoo of a potato on his ankle

One character falls into the Wayside equivalent of the backrooms for three chapters

Two students accidentally resurrect their old teacher with potato salad

One student is so unpleasant that the lunch lady finds out a substitute teacher is stealing the children's voices because he says "Have a nice day" in her voice.

One of these is directly referenced in Deltarune

Pickle hypnosis

[teeth-stealer]

im not gay but 20 blueberries is 20 blueberries

[teeth-stealer]

The king of all cosmos got a twitter account around 2008/2009 to promo katamari forever and some of his posts are really good. He's like Dril to me.

[teeth-stealer]

Aliko Dangote, the richest man in Africa, has been tormented by a Brazilian man named Osvaldo for the last several years.

[teeth-stealer]

no book only cat

[teeth-stealer]

*Saw Theme Song Plot Twist Reveal*

NYPD chase a man for fare evasion, tase him, become “aware of a knife” and then started blasting, hitting a cop, and two bystanders (one in the head) before getting this guy. Backtracking with “well this guy has done xyz before”, the cops didn’t know that. They frantically looked him up so they could justify a mass shooting of New Yorkers.

They drew guns over skipping the fare. They fired at anything that moved when they thought he had a knife. No confirmation that he even did have a knife.

Appalling.

[teeth-stealer]

news just in!!! a lot of fandom issues could be resolved by recognising that characters aren't real people, and real people aren't characters!!! situation still developing, more at 10

[teeth-stealer]

well the first step is to blaze a post about you getting no pussy

[teeth-stealer]

finally cured myself of the curse of memory and now i can touch the burners on the stove as many times as i want with all the excitement of new discoveries and none of the knowledge of upcoming pain

[teeth-stealer]