temmes

[temmes]

If i had three wihes that could fulfill anything(revised by CHATGPT3.5)

If i were granted three wishes,they were going to be rotated around me.instead of making a middle class white chick wish like“no war anymore in this world” i rather wish to become a superman and go do it myself.my writing is bad so i got the blue paragraphs revised by CHATGPT :

If I had three wishes that could fulfill anything,The first one would be the acquisition of high IQ, both fluid intelligence and crystallized intelligence ect that can make me able to choose the level of intelligence I fancy. After acquiring this wish I will be able to memorize knowledge like a supercomputer without missing or faulty information and use all the information and data to make decisions at a speed of light, hopefully, I can still behave like a normal human being. and this wish will critically affect the rest of the wishes I am going to make.

If I had three wishes that could fulfill anything, my first wish would be to acquire a high IQ, encompassing both fluid and crystallized intelligence, allowing me to select the level of intelligence I desire. With this wish granted, I could memorize knowledge flawlessly, akin to a supercomputer, and utilize this vast information to make swift decisions, all while maintaining my ability to function as a typical human being. This initial wish would profoundly influence the subsequent wishes I intend to make.

I can not imagine what I would choose after wishing to become the smartest person in the universe.since now I still have the same, original intelligence,the second wish would be the freedom to control my own body to the maximum, it can transform into any form or shape I wanted to, fulfill any function I want, including turning my body into the form of gases of some unknown intangible material that human has not discovered since I have all the knowledge of the universe since I had made my first wish of having a supercomputer brain.

After wishing to become the smartest individual in the universe, I find it difficult to envision what my next choice would be. As I still retain my original intelligence, my second wish would revolve around the ultimate freedom to manipulate my own body. This power would allow me to seamlessly transform into any desired form or shape, fulfilling any function I desire. I could even manifest my body in the ethereal state of gases composed of elusive materials yet to be unveiled by humanity, thanks to the comprehensive knowledge of the universe I acquired with my initial wish for a supercomputer brain.

since I could transform myself into different shapes and forms in different dimensions including this material world, that means I had already broken the principle of conservation of mass, for example, if I turned myself into a fireball, the energy of the heat source is undefined. So the last wish I make would be me be exempted from the law of the principle of conservation, I would not need to acquire any energy or fuel, instead, I would have unlimited energy/material at my disposal. I did not need any food, or water like a normal human but I could still have the freedom to consume them.

Given my newfound ability to alter my form across various dimensions, including the material world, I've essentially defied the principle of mass conservation. For instance, if I were to transform into a blazing fireball, the energy behind that heat source becomes unbounded. Therefore, my final wish would involve my exemption from the law of mass conservation, rendering the need for energy or fuel obsolete. I would possess an infinite wellspring of energy/material at my disposal, eliminating the requirement for food or water, even though I'd still retain the freedom to consume them.

I feel like being a human, the most painful thing is I thought I had a lot of freedom, but in reality, it is just a wish or even a delusion. Humans like other animals can not be free from the chains of needs and desires. Now the society of humans is making life even worse than ever. with more power, comes more freedom, and responsibility. So with these three wishes, I am still a human at the same time, I have the power to be above humans, and I can make all the decisions, with no more chains, no more being tortured or manipulated by the people I do not care if they exist or not. I will become the freest human ever existed in this world, I can even control my life to be dead or alive. This is the ultimate freedom I am longing for! free! Worry free!

As a human, I've come to realize that what I once perceived as abundant freedom often turns out to be little more than a wish or perhaps even a delusion. Like all creatures, humans are bound by the shackles of needs and desires. In today's society, the human experience seems to be entangled in an ever more complex web of challenges. With greater power comes both more freedom and increased responsibility.

With these three wishes, I can still remain human, but I'd possess the ability to transcend the limitations that hold humanity in their grip. I could make every decision, liberated from the chains that have tormented or manipulated me by those whose existence I hold little regard for. In effect, I would become the freest human ever to walk this earth, unfettered by any constraints, and I could even govern my own existence, choosing between life and death. This represents the ultimate freedom I yearn for – true liberation from worries and constraints.

The bot writing is okay,but rather formal or even peculiar,giving that it is an old version,is still amazed me after multiple usages because it did help me a little in terms of writing.

[temmes]

Life is full of unknowns and they inevitably make people afraid and worry. I conclude that people will suffer in the face of variable things, the fear will tear people apart.

I just finished watching a movie called "Disciple" the main character B helps the main character A multiple times when they are running drug businesses B even gets caught and tortured just so A and his business can get away. A trusted B so much that he treated him like he was part of A’s family member. and A counted on B to pick up his business, to let B run the whole business A had to let B go through all the processes so he could learn all the tricks and rules. that is why I think the movie title is called “Disciple” and little did A know, B is an undercover cop.

after watching countless Asian crime films I should be picky, but this one does taste differently. I think the great things about this movie are explaining how the millennial drug business runs,through the main character's words and actions, and allows the audience to get a glimpse of how illegal substances are made, and the structure of the whole industry chain. the feeling of getting entertained and educated at the same time is really good. second, the director made two central stories in the movie: one centered around the drug dealer, and the other focused on the drug users. Character B, the undercover cop played a pivotal role in both stories, heightening the movie's intensity.

many people online talked about a dining scene where A got triggered and lost his cool during a trip to Thailand: he and his family are having a great time. with no informer and police on his back, he can take off his disguise, temporarily forget about his illegal businesses, set aside all his concerns and spend as much money as he wants. he feels like he is in heaven, but he lost his usual calm manner and caused a scene when he saw a scale for serving expensive caviar. A yelled, called the servers they were crazy, told them to get their family one serving per member, and started to enjoy the caviar with a happy smile.

From my perspective, he was shocked and became aggressive the moment he saw the scale. which means the scale triggered him to make his thoughts snap back to his illegal business in Hong Kong because scales are meaningful symbols, from producing original chemical to measuring weight for selling final products. his family does not know about his drug business, so in the face of revealing the symbol of drugs, he is afraid of being found out he is a big drug dealer behind the disguise of being a good family figure. some people said that he panicked and tried to cope with anger to solve this problem. when the scale is gone he can finally enjoy his life without worry and guilt

[temmes]

After talking with my girl,Now i feel like every skill that i want to develop needs two sides of aspect.for example,I was in a 2 years sushi chef training program and people said being a sushi chef was not ideal,the paid was not worth the price you paid for it.after graduation the rumors were true:too many people holding a same level of certificate in the area with a small and competitive market so i would feel like:man,the money and time i had invested in went down to the drain,this is a stupid move. but what if the original goal of getting a certificate is not for the paid but it is truly for your passion?maybe i rewrite the end of the example above a little:being a sushi chef there was no ideal,so i packed up,flew to my mother’s hometown where there were lot of dying sushi shops because of the lack of young people who are willing to pick up the trade and skills.the old fart was so stubborn and mean,he insisted that my foreign sushi making skillset was not shit.i had to be an apprentice for free for over 3 years in order to step on the wooden stage of the sushi counter.but the shop could not wait this long,so couldn’t he.

He admitted that the modern sushi making techniques and mass produce machinery were not real but they made things productive and clean.so under the pressure and long toils he fianaly taught me the main skills like the best way to cut fishes,the recipets of his best dishes and stuffs. in the end he gave up the whole shop to me as an inheritage from a master to his lovely apprentice.so i became a successful shop onwer and a master sushi chef,just because the love of making sushi is from truly from my heart,it was so strong that it supported me to get through things all the way to a happy ending,not matter how hard it was.if it was just a simple money driven math,all the things will not add up and pan out and i might just end up wasted two years of time and effort/money. Sunk cost is worse than no cost lol.

[temmes]

The English reading and reasoning on the GED prep book is driving me crazy.working on those multiple choice reading test is like work with a women,you never know what she is thinking and the logic behind it and what her next moves will be,most of the answers are totally nonsense that you can not reason with common sense.

In the book,an article in the old days all talked about men’s dress is old school or outdated implied that women’s are comfy and casual with new style.and the question setter made one of the answer to a question to be like”the writer of this article express the feeling of women want the right of voting and stuff because of a key word in a paragraph was used slightly different than it supposed to be”,this one is the worst,i was too lazy to point out all of her good work.

i bet 20 bucks on the question setter is a female and she is a weird fiction/romance book worm,no one with a right mind will pick up a word and say the writer is talking about woman rights when the whole article is all about dissing men’s dress without hidden meaning behind it.if it had hidden meanings,that would be the writer’s feeling of being condescending about her woman’s attire that are far superior than the contemporaneous men’s.

anyway,this reading and reasoning forces me to think like the quiz setter that i can not be on the same page,which is painfully unbearable.yo I got another excuse not to get my GED test and certificate,hooray!

[temmes]

recently i have been thinking about going back to community college and choose a AS or ADT degree.if i want to be fully committed become a full-time college student,that means i need a bachelor degree and earn decent money with that.why not choose a major that you truly love it you may ask,well,i tried it when i first went to college in my 20s and it did not go well in my perspective,it did have other things involved like immigration,then struggled to survive and stuff to make me feel like going for a major i like is not rational,now the 30 years old me with a little bit more experience will say, to be fully committed to a over 4 years commitment,you have to prepare some thing like getting ready for the margins of error,or compromise to compensate things.it is hard to explain but now i will give you some example: i was in my first semester of junior in college getting antsy for internship and making my Profolio and boom,immigration notice from my dip shit parents that could had told me much earlier and suddenly i need to make a big decision.do i choose to move to the paradise,the dream land,place that is the total opposite of slum where i born and raise(jokes on the stupid,naive me,SF is another giant shit hole so i was just jumping around hoops),or i stay put,keep myself in the uncertainty of getting out of this crappy university with a good job with this crappy major,facing this boring city full of weirdos and boomers.so apparently i chose the former,and turned out it was a 5 years long ordeal,

i thought and learned a lot from these ten years,i realized that getting two hands,two sides ready is a smart thing to do.one side is what you truely

[temmes]

My nose doesnt feel right,i know it got something wrong there since i was young,the unpleased feeling deep inside the nostrils usually gets worse in winter or at cold night but now is summer in hot socal.does it have something to do with my stuffy ear too?

My nose Feels like something swelling,blocking air coming in and out on the right-side nostril and it products layers of booger very often,like a child labor from village fresh to his job site,so productive that the feeling of discomfort shows up real fast after I clean it,using my pinky,IE picking my nose.guess i failed this time,back to square one today,keep on the good work then.come to think of it,it is a bad old habit started from middle school,one if those hills bully pointed it out and i still remember,probably its the sinus in my nose had grown bigger and it got worse congestion after chronic allergic/inflammation,a gift from the southern hood.

Yea,i gotta go do a little surgery next time when I’m back in weirdo town,cutting sinus,just like getting tonsils removal probably,man,i got lot of surgery on my schedule

[temmes]

just read a book “scarcity”written by Sendhil and Eldar and this book’s topic is about the feeling of being lack of things will greatly affect ones mindset and behavior.

Its easy to read but lots of repeated/redundant pages talking how serious it is and it will make peoples lives better and worse,mostly worse.like shortage of love IE lonely people can detect more emotional related words from card flashing game.poor children always exaggerate the diameter of coins showed in front of them.hungry people got fixation on food related thing and activities and so on.telling us how powerful this phenomena is.

At first i thought it is more about the existed economic theory but after few pages it proved to be talking on psychological side and explain how important it would be.

One paragraph explained it in scientific way,shortage of all varieties leads to shortage of our brains bandwidth,and short bandwidth has really big impact on our mind,it messed up our decision making and goal orientation,occupied by the things we want,creative fixation and so on.

Poorer people focus on vital aspects but they neglect insurance that they can not afford when shit hit the fan.

Oh I’m interested in economy because of this book mentions economic models/theories failed to predict consumer behavior and psychological techniques showed up tp work with economy,together researcher can be better understanding different kind of their targeted herds,what situations they are in will affect their choice and the mindset behind them.that is sick,recently i found out i have read a lots books about psychology and stuff later i found out im interested in psychology/human relationship. But this major is not esay to get through and make a living out of it so i settle on eco temporarily,i still have the dream of being an electronic engineer but its just a dream,that probably cost much more money and time and i just read the book scarcity think thats not the right way to me

[temmes]

I’m awaked

I’m losing sleep again

I don not know what happened,all i had was just a sense of fading terror created in my half sleep.it was just a typical,primitive feeling of lurking danger.

Maybe the tenant across my hallway had made some noise and it passed through the thin drywall,or it did have something lurking outside. i still want to know the reason,i was bothered by insomnia for a long time,taking sleep aid only helped me felt asleep at 1or2 and wide awake at 4.i feel like the dude in the movie fight club who has schizophrenia

Before sleep i read a book about medication and wisdom of buddhism written by a Vietnamese monk talking about mind image like pond,any bad thoughts like rocks and stuffs throwing into the pond; treat the present moment like the only moment,live a full life,be mindful.do not worry about the past or the future; think of facing bad stuffs like dead and be prepared with it,so the mind will be stable and free from being chained by different negative sources.

Just like the old sayin:”you are what you eat” i think”you are what you think”is way more potent, the monk told me,at the final state of medicating or thinking,we should think/feel without telling objects between subjects,it’ll be a whole. nails came from iron ore,you can imagine they go reverse motion,and back to be the original state,back to the cave,to us will be back to the womb.i sort of understand the meaning of it and also i am not so sure. it sounds too supreme to me,i can’t even know why it should be like this and what does it feel like...

As i was writing these words,they started come from my feeling and they are now coming from my wakening mind,totally different departments managing same one thing,the present mission,outputting my thoughts and feelings.sort of like an addict who is getting high,feeling in the zone,wrote down some shit, wake up next day see it and says”damn,it is shit.”

I played horror games just a little,did not even read the Cthulhu novels which I’m interested and i already having a related bad thought. a small noise came from the bedroom in the mid night(this house does made weird noises a-lot at night)made me think of a little horror story,a monster is hatching,or metamorphosing,like with a green and yellow weak radioactive skin,a deformed,half rotting fat person like zombie covered with big popping pustules curls up on a corner of the room some times it twitched a bit and it heppened fast,you never know what is going on inside the room next to yours.and you will never bother to open it just to check it out until it dawn.that sense of horror made me speechless.

Speaking of dawn,i heard the birds are chirping,its 5 already,and my sanity started to be fully recovered.i always feel like i definitely got some mental issues,gene or meme matter not more,depression at first,then thought about schizophrenia,and think back about ADHD.maybe the monk is right,i am what i consume and im what i ruminate,maybe i pull these objects out too far and stare at them too deep,maybe just let go,let them to be a part of myself if they really want me that bad.

[temmes]

Incentive and movtivation

To me,is not worth learning a new language just to be able to talk with people,I take languages as tools,they are means to reach goals,and i am not wealthy.so sacrificing many resources like time and energy just to talk with people doesn’t add up

I saw some YouTubers doing adventure vlogs especially one will be a white dude walking in different places talking with locals in Spanish speaking countries.that’s really impressive and motivating.i could feel my brain pumping dopamine and stuff when i binge watching them with a smile on my face.but after the passion and motivation wear off,back to facing the everyday boring and painful learning experience,that is not exciting at all,that bums me out!

I realized those cool events can’t help me stay motivated because they can not be the real incentive,we all humans know what’s cool and great but only few of us will pursuit because they are advanced needs,just like icing on the cake,they are not necessary.

And this had brought my thoughts sideway into thinking about what makes people go for things, what makes them tick.

Just like the above ,we see incentives daily,watching Videos about cool things and stuffs on internet.in daily life usually there will be people around us got promoted/new valuable goods, in human relations,incentives like fame and wealth are mostly involved,or worse,primitive desires.

So I rank them up,divide them into three sections,the higher the rank is,the weaker the incentive is(I’m not going to include those weird incentives involved crime and stuff, it’s out of the topic you can check out the stories of infamous serial killers.as I know they were mostly involved with wrong viewpoints of moral and sexual problems)

I boiled down the too-complicated-for-regular-readers”Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Theory”into three simple sections of rank,from bottom to top rank will be:

the basic needs,the social needs,the self needs.these are all,more or less have something to do with chemical and it motivates people to do things,without it,mostly we will be lying on ground idling

The basic needs are fundamental to all the animals: air water food, sleep safety and sex.

Those are the most simple things to understand why we need them and we are most likely will do things for them,everything,just to maintain them a long period of time.and our brain will help us by producing dopamine as an incentive to motivate us to do things that is good for survival.

This is where we build up habits(mostly bad like addictions).one of them is maintaining a sense of stabilization because we can’t live without essential needs,not even a few days.i still remember at the end of the book”Robinson Crusoe”after he got rescued by those sailors,he beg and hid piles of bread under his bunk just to make himself felt reassured.

And our fellow human designed tons of product that will hook you into consuming them just to make more capital using the characteristic of human brain chasing dopamine.

The second rank is much cooler than the first one and it’s sort of painful to some of us because it’s all about human relations——the social needs: To Love and be loved, sense of belonging.

Something wrong with this app tons of sentences disappeared I don’t want to work on it anymore but little tips from my boys Adler and Arthur: 80% of worries and annoyances come from relationships,so try to avoid them ;)

This one probably involves with serotonin,i am not a professor or a doc but kind of like dopamine,as an incentive it promote socializing.it probably kicks in when people talking or doing things,having a good time together.because team work helps us better to survive in the bad old days. Our cpu followed by primitive programs likes it

After i read books about the relations of the chemical produced by our brain with motivations,i grew interests in them.we should follow our primitive principles/rules followed by our brains——saving energy,find ways to survive and do more exercise

I’m going talk about exercise later and it also involves with chemical,endorphin.

And I’m not going to talk about the last one,the self needs,probably no one cares.

The way of Our brain and body’s function is still really old compare to the modern life style and environment.we need to find out the key to make them work better otherwise we are just bunch of smarter monkeys

And I’m curious about dopamine rushing when we are facing uncertainty in gambling because looks like it is quite the opposite of human nature

[temmes]

Chatgpt helps me do my essay

Here is a corrected version of your essay:

I believe that good time management is crucial if one wishes to achieve their goals from different perspectives. Time is just as invaluable and abundant as any other resources such as water and air. When I was younger, I did not treat time with respect and, as a result, gained little knowledge and had zero social skills. I wasted a lot of time on things that did not help me in achieving my goals because I did not have a goal in mind. Now that I am older, I have nothing to be proud of.

My story goes to show how important time management is. If you do not manage your time properly to reach your goals, time will slip through your fingers. Everybody has the same amount of time, and anything that has value takes up a lot of time.

Some people have learned to play musical instruments fluently, won sporting competitions, and obtained good jobs right out of school in their early 20s. They must have had goals and plans and had a schedule to follow. They must have had other resources, but time is the most important element here, which is why they were able to achieve so much at a young age, while I could not.

To make the most of your time, you need to respect, or even fear, time. Simply creating a timetable will be like your annual New Year's bucket list, which will not help you much. To get you started following your plan, you might need to change your mindset and habits, especially those that waste the most time. Now, I exchange my time to do things that I need and that have value. Instead of watching videos when I wake up, I use the time to study. I can learn by listening to English podcasts or programs while doing housework. I do cardio and meditation, and I feel better, more mindful, and less reliant on external stimuli to keep me functioning.

Managing time is managing your life. It all depends on how you want to do it and what you want to achieve. It is self-explanatory, but it needs other elements to help get things straightened out nicely.

[temmes]

Some one asks me,what would i be and what life situation i want to find myself in five years.

Well,not much of a crazy life changing will come,to my knowledge and negative point of view.even though now we are facing world wide economic challenges,viruses,uncertainty of new technologies related conflicts. the more things change the more they stay the same,histories are the same,we are only human after all.

Back to the topic, i wanna be a STEM dork,recently I’m thinking about the field of electrical engineering/chips,or robotic/automation,i feel like with the emerging of those fast evolving AI,they are coming hot with lots of endorsers and hype,big investment pouring on the table,look at those CGs they made, words they output,it’s safe to say it will be the next singularity with all that support.

So now I assume that we got a fast worker,high yield producer/artist,super smart scientist,what it needs is a carrier,so better circuit,chips make them faster,exist in every corner,and a robotic body will maximize their value of serving us,fully benefit the mankind,and it makes more sense if we realize we are facing another global problem—aging population. That means a huge shortage of labor forces in different job sites,and a big needs of health caring experts.it clicks,louder and louder

I’m Imaging a society that doesn’t require regular folks to do a 9 to 5,another day another dollar job but got rationed of credits bi-week because with the advanced automation,mass production is too efficient for small population,that basic daily supplies are enough for all the people,without oligopoly controlled capitalism,no more tempting stuff,no sensation provocative products,no hidden plots that make you overwhelmed with dopamine.without competition,there isn’t much variety,but simple,honest goods and service.that’s what my ideal society would be like.

My fantasy of events would be,androids taking care of the whole house missions,helping kids and the elderly to live better(freeing human from daily burdens),me taking my hot 3D printed breakfast that takes 2 points of credit(just a reminder of limited resources)into a public reserved self driving vehicle headed to the art center (probably art is the last position human hold) at 11am, to go there for learning how to brush paint a massive canvass using multi robotic arms with the help of androids so no one will hurt in the scene(corporation with AI,to know them better).not to worry about if these kinds of skill set are demanding or not, so to get a Job to feed myself and my family.

maybe human will be satisfied with their needs and greediness after massive production improvement and switch to minimalism. That’s probably the only way we can get out off the hustle and bustle,dopamine rampant swamp.

Im not going to talk about all the related contentions,the impact of the androids and automation toward the society,and I realized I am far from my topic.

Not much can get me excited because I’ve been numb long ago I’ve overdosed with dopamine.but I got goose bumps every time I think that,one day I can live in a cyberpunk world(not the game,but if it’s like a game it’d probably be like Detroit became human lol),embrace it’s both sides.oh man,I wish I could go back to school without the fear of failure and insecurity.

I wish in five years,I can graduate and get the entry ticket,join a tech giant and work at the AI engineering related department,androids,automation,smart vehicle, 3D printing appliances,whatever,as long as I can work in the front line and do some constructions,to witness the ups and downs of this filed,take the responsibilities,solving problems by all means.

[temmes]

Hey I’m still here

I’ve done lot of stuff recently

I think I should not rush to do things that I’ve wanted to finished or to reach my goal in a hurry, life is a marathon and Jesus probably wants me to relax on this long run, life and things change faster and worse than our expectations,no matter after how many calculations and plans have done most of the time we are in the mercy of fate.so i do what I can,stop worrying about the can’ts,do more things I don’t want to such as networking,taking initiative to say or do things that can provide more chances to grow and succeed.

Happy thanksgiving yo!

[temmes]

If I were rich one of the job I wanted to do would be car repairing

I used to do prep job at a small auto repair shop in San Francisco for 2 and a half yrs

Here was the background,My job usually started with cleaning dust before i picked up the case that is processing, boss would like us to do little bit on this car and change to another’s depends on which owner is calling to complain.one of the only three workers was not happy with boss not letting him work due to slow business in the start of the pandemic left,only two people with a lazy painter which is the boss couldn’t handle the amount of cases,so we suffering stress and always overtime just to finish the whole thing in one day so boss could paint them at the end of the day/night.

Most of my prep job involved sanding,with parts that were old and damaged,we needed to sand down the surface,make the spot that needed to be fixed clean and with stronger adhesion,if the part was scratched of dented too much we needed to fix it first so the latter process would become easier to do.once the parts were ready,we put body filler on the damaged spot and waited till it was hardened,in cold days we needed heat lamp to speed up the process.

we usually started by taking off trims and irrelevant moldings and prepped all the edges, sanded the the spot and laid fillers in the morning then sanded it after lunch,we couldn’t sand it too early otherwise filler would shrink afterward,it always shrinks more or less depends on the thickness and the time for it to harden.I sanded filler and putty with 3M golden dry sandpaper with 120,180,320,even 80grit depended on the case.i could not do complicated parts because they had doubt on my ability,they were scared of messing up and redoing things.so i didn’t have much chances to improve my filler sanding skill

.once it’s properly sanded and shaped,i just wipe it down with wet towel,blew and dried the whole thing and hit it with some degreaser/solvent then it’s ready to be primed.thick primer applied on the clean spot with good foundation for bonding filler and primer together.that’s what i call a good prepping for old part

Once the part got primed and cured over night,it is fully ready for the next step which Is sanding again.but this time i use wet sandpaper and proper soft pad to smooth things down,bridging the surface connection between the original paint and the primer.but since the boss liked laying down thick primer so it’d fill up all the pinholes and imperfections,most of the time we need to use 320 dry first to do the thinning work because it was much more effective.after sanding it down flat with the help of guide coat, the next step of wet sanding start to be harder to quantify,i needed to measure things with my experience.

I meticulously using my arm with long strokes sanding the primer with equal pressing force and overlap places over and over minding the thickness of it,merging two layer of paint together smoothly with another hand keeping fresh water running down the surface to make grey stream of primer powder went down with the flow to help sanding more clean and effective.then sanded the whole part with rough scotch pads both with hands and DAs,clean it with final sand and rinse it throughly,which is the hardest and messy part because with air blowing water ran and flew everywhere but you have to make it bone dried.

After made sure the whole surface is smooth and spotless,double checked the shorted plank—the place that was still glossy or dirty,the whole part should be lusterless evenly just like a fresh mat-finished paint. All i wanted is a good foundation for the next part,all steps were linked with one another,so i had to mesure twice then cut it once,always over killed thing just to make sure it would be a perfect prep job. it’s tiresome and slow crafting if you want the paint to be perfect.

After throughly dried and cleaned,the part was ready to be painted.new parts needed sealer or another additive depended on the paint provider instruction that mainly aim at providing strong adhesion between the raw surface and the layers of paint.so did the old part.prepped old parts with primer were ready to get color and clear coated,with heat baking letting solvent out and hardener did its job,a beautiful paint job is out over a night,but it was not ready to go yet, painting in professional paint booth didn’t mean it was fully impeccable,and clear coat follow the shrinks of the under color coat which makes the clear coat look cloudy,so the final step is sanding imprecation and polishing.

With the experiences of sanding primer by feeling,clear coat sanding is just a warm up exercise to me,using 2000 with proper tools cleaned up and the dust nips and orange peel,then mat finished it by DA with 3000 foamed sand paper.polished it with straight rotary polisher with two types of 3M compound and chemical guys foam polishing pads.i knew its an old-fashioned way to get the job done but it’s good enough to satisfied our clients with surpassed OEM paint quality.

Beside masking all the parts and cars,which was another time consuming,experience required job,I also did a little RnR and RnA,taking off most of the parts off doors including themselves,i also did both bumpers and fenders,trunks and hoods which were relatively easier with only a main wire, plugs and stuffs. so we could prep and paint them with ease,laying parts flat on rack when spray painting could make paint ran smoother by itself.i did it mainly on Asian cars because they were much much easier to figure out where the bolts and nuts located,relation with other parts and taking them off only with common tools.(ps we hated working on German and American cars we often spend half of day just to find all the hidden bolts and parts to take off a front bumper )of course if the core support got damaged and my Sifu couldn’t place all the parts and their location,i always pitched in and helped him found out the repair diagram.doing small things and reinstall head lamps,re-clipped wires,assemble parts back to bumper and stuff,them put them back to the cars.

In short i had done all the removes and reinstall with those regular cars but not the juicy part witch was engine bay/core support repair that involved collision cutting and inertia release,repairing and replacing.of course nor securing parts and welding,sanding metal and final finish were not in my field too i could only be a side kick in the process.sometime i got the chance to do the next process which was applying and sanding rough body filler on the new finished metal parts because it was a dirty job and wouldn’t do much damage if i did it wrong.

So i got No skin/parts welding,structure fixing,core support parts changing,fancy car RnR,not much filler/putty sanding,no primer nor painting,not even thought about mechanical repair in this shop,before i left I only got 19 an hour and a promise of letting me worked at the offer doing paper work.that’s what i had during the first few years of pandemic.not really happy but i still learned a lot from it, and I realized how many steps and procedures it took to have a nice result of car paint and how much time and effort it took.

with the emerge of AI driving,the rates of car accidents are expected to be lower.with the rise of self driving,car repair industry is time to close its curtains slowly and gradually,and i think it is a good things for the earth, all the resources and pollution just to make a decent car paint that has no usefulness that is ridiculous.

[temmes]

Which one is a better choice

A random professor shared a little insight online said a man’s successes is hard to be distinguished to be good or bad and it all depends on different perspective, sometimes it would be totally opposite depends on people’s positions and perspectives .so don’t worry about what You want to be,instead care about what you want to do

He probably is in the field of posting success science shorts aiming for white collar audience ,so caring about what you want to do might be the truth in business perspective,it’s simple,you are not cash,can’t make everyone loves you.

to me,just like he said “it depends on peoples position”,it’s totally opposite in my book,as me focus on philosophy of life,i insist that people should gave themselves’ definitions first,or labels as what they want to be,then make goals,specific plans to carry on,then evolve through it,successes or gains of the outcome is the least important thing

Why the opposite you ask,well,how many goals and dreams people wrote on new year bucket lists have finally come true?probably not much,just because people tend to make big goals to start with,that is hard to get it going and become a habit.so goals or desires driven motives are not going to last long because those superficial goals are not truly what you want to achieve. Find your ultimate goals,which are the definition of yourself.like ‘i want to become a well educated wise man,so I should go to the library and study.’’ That’s the right way to get the ball rolling,no matter which one you decide to go with,ignore the hate or love by the others and just be yourself.even success is just an another superficial,blurred word defined by other people.only you is important.

[temmes]

Who i want to be

All these recalls make me feel like Hannibal

When i was young i lived in a not so good household with my incompetent parents just like other southerners,but i was always happy and laughed.

Me as a kid in the 90s after walking in flip flops through wet alleys scattered with feces and trashes.sitting in a musty dusty room thinking,Japanese and American are having a good life,i want to be there, and Everything is possible.that’s probably my first false conclusion,but it kept me ignoring the harsh living condition and look forward.

maybe because kids don’t depress,of i think,it’s because I was new to the world,even though this slum sucks,but there are other places,Provences,countries that don’t,i still got hopes in my heart and smile on my face

And fast forward i feel like my value/belief evolves with the material world.

Super market and malls,fast food chains/big brand companies started to show up in the small town,primitive Video games and VCDs,players came with my cousins from Hong Kong,people came from different provinces became the main portion of this town’s population,i still remember walking on the side walk of the new,music blasting shopping streets breathing dusty air with my head down walking real fast.ford focus,Toyota crown and Peugeot 206 crawling on new two way concrete roads,people everywhere getting in my way from morning to night.

It sounds really cool,so many new shops and y2k goods like cheap anime stuffs,dog tags/long socks and knock off Korean school uniforms i could buy and dress up.so i should feel good and happy right?

No,not many novel things for teens that time,it’s still a backward place,even just carrying a guitar on your back will get every head turned.everything was so irritating to a sensitive person as me,I can’t wait go back to my slum playing anime CDs. people always forget the bad experience/pain they had been through,but I don’t.material increments didn’t make me feel better,i had McDonald and stuffed toys since i was kid.this capital game is not new to me.didn’t receive more benefit but drawbacks like many uncertainties,cold faces and scams right in front of me.facing the true color of humanity,for a pre teen, that’s too much,i started to get depressed,hatred toward this crazy society.rebel core has existed.

this small town is not far from a big commercial city with many types of transportations, rich businessmen always swung by,they brought lots of things here,both good and bad. My hometown was a good place to start for peasants.that’s why many people settled here,some just tried to make it in the outsider world just like what I’m doing.

and a lot of people did shady things,an ethnic minority old lady did street vending selling pocket knifes which is definitely illegal,i got one from there,and my father sneaked in,searched my drawer and stole it.prostitution was the elephant in the room to local gov,but was doing well under the desk,Chinese businessmen need feasts with crocodile/shark meet,gifts like a big jar of moonshine with a misshapen tiger cub in it.and exotic hookers to close the deals. those tall passengers with makeup flew past traffic gap on a 125cc bike were probably the first northern Chinese I’d seen in my life. one of a high school dropped out I know got herself a part time job for doing make ups for hookers in the bath center/clubs,told us the price was depended on the height.so everything added up,no made up.

I got side track into describing tangible things in my primitive experience with capitalism.This is probably the magic of it.it impacts our life profoundly.all i want to convey is,our minds are getting messed up by material things.enclosed by consumption and debts changed our ways of thinking.we getting more and more anxious,unsettled and depressed,we forgot how we used to think,like kids,with self reflection.

after the popularization of internet things are even worse,now we can see people showing off better products, status and achievements.we lost our original,true self.we forgot to wash hands before we eat,share toys with others,make friends and caring them.everyone is saying growing up is more and more vexing.but the world is still the same

if things got boiled down,they are similar to what we used to consume,enjoy,watch,the needs are still the same too.it’s just the ways of people’s thinking have changed.oh i love apples from the get go,but many different kinds of fruit to choose nowaday,all the people posting avocado on the net so i need to get some, well some random professor made a Video saying an imported organic fruit that I can’t pronounce it’s name is the fruit version of snake oil and now it’s on sale.i gotta get some,but all i need is just good old apples.things you need are still there,nothing has changed.what has changed is just the meaning,given by people.followed by people with no self reflection,critical thinking,forgot who they really are.

09/25/2022

[temmes]

little political thoughts

Oh Communism communism communism,born in the huge social contradictions of western countries that having severe manpower shortage problems draining laborers strength and meanwhile,nobles from managerial class were so greedy,milking all the values out of the poor with just a tiny amount out of the profit.those pitiful men with many mouths to feed got nothing to do but united and fought back with senses of unfairness and resentments.

that was why communism always labeled with words “proletariats”, “revolutions” and “sharing evenly”, and that’s why managerial classes in the western world hate it so bad,they have to use their power to talk it down, break it down,just like bullies in schools using their mouths and fists abusing nerds because they know nerds are easy be bulldozed when they are young and weak,and one day nerds will be much better than them.

After all these years of happy meaty feasts nobles are still the same, upscaled managerial class got the largest profits.still in fear of being replaced,still having scarcity thinking,playing zero-sum games.

and the poor still the same too,living little bit better thanks to the technology,but more hatred toward their savior,sensitive and obey to what they see and what they hear through different media governed by the same boss.

It used to be communism when human species started out,the living was harsh,people sticked together,there was no you and i,their minds and bodies worked as a group,they hunted together,farmed together,took one for the team,just like the organs in our body.when they having intercourses they didn’t even mind others jointing the activity because they didn’t have rules in their mind, they were totally careless and raised the offsprings together anyway,moaning during intercourses is probably an age old conditional reflex for inviting more partners result in more manpower to beef up the group .

Rules probably came with selfishness,and selfishness came from the day,when human advanced their skills,domesticated animals successfully,or they found the right plant that could mass produce,in short they had steady food sources that it was good enough,it started to make surpluses.and that made people started to get greedy too,no free sharing anymore,people traded stuffs,satisfied each other’s needs,prostitution showed up.

people made rules and rituals like marriage to tell others,this is his baby mama, his stuffs, only his offsprings could share them.he took care of the fresh water containers,he’s the real chad.

Since then, human species are not making much progress,in terms of spiritual and cultural.i still admire the technology tho.

People nowadays still struggle with problems like “more foooooooood” “I need more stuffs” “i want more labels and fame” “i want to act like a barbarian big muscle big beard big cars and guns,me more testosterone,he week short pee pee.”

I wanted to roast that big topic in the states all about genitals but I’m too chicken to do that,the color topic too.probably one of the way to make lower class to be more busy facing toward the useless aspect.

our humans hardware and software do need some updates to face the modern problems and quests.politic is just one small portion of the whole challenging up hill.the core of the main conflict between different countries hidden in superficial things like materials,it’s the believes and culture, those spirits that divide us.

I know my thoughts are not coherent but hints and meanings scatter in my words.

capitalism started to show its disadvantages,i really don’t want to see our societies end up with another world war,or climate changed disasters so bad that we lost many lives,society collapses,gov is facing challenges,then we have to live in big cyber cities with mainly slums,work hard on technology to had fully automatic mass production to satisfy our basic needs,then we sitting in rainy dirty alleys started to Contemplate and regret that we used to be greedy,chasing dopamine wasting lots of resources for nothing meaningful.maybe at that time we will give up 9 to 5,living for the weekend,and start to do something we always want to do in our life.but that’s too late the punishment has come.

life is short,we all going to die,why waste time on things we don’t want to?Maybe the things we are doing are not neceesary?Maybe we have alternatives to achieve?

[temmes]

My father

Do you know what my father concerned in his life about?I’d been trying to be in his shoe but never understood why he cared so much about houses and cars,people’s jobs And salaries but no single bit of real caring about his family members, just like other Chinese boomers

He had been diagnosed with high blood pressure a long time ago but never done anything about it,it wasn’t that he didn’t care about his life at all but quite the contrary,old Cantonese people are real sensitive pussies in all aspect just like Chihuahua they can be triggered by teeny tiny things so bad He had tried his best avoided going to hospital his whole life

Since he tried hard not to do so I don’t even know what got him to see the doctor for blood pressure but I assumed that he didn’t feel much about the symptoms of it and pretended everything was fine and dandy no need for helps or medication

He acted just like an ostrich buries his head in the dirt but on the other side he kept lecturing and trying to change other’s lifestyle like I can’t have a can of coke daily after getting off a hard work my girl had to make at least one vegetable dish for the family each day and so on

he kept policing, unnecessarily denied and taught almost everything we did whenever he could get his hand in,since we lived together in a small damp garage,it even sucked worse I couldn’t avoid to see him

he used me like a tool just because he refused to learn and thought,assumed I got the duty to help him to do everything,asked me about banking stuff that only bankers know just because he tried to take advantage of government’s benefits ,even ask me what password his online bank account was.he’s like the douche bag father in the show shameless but sucked in different way.I almost had fights with him and felt really depressed for many years

I got no choice but stay with him so long due to the high rent of SF and then my girl finally came and she couldn’t bear with him at all so we decided to move out real quick

I think his dead has something to do with our leaving,he died from long term high blood pressure and smoking,that induced hardened heart arteries blogging up blood flow in his sleep.

He died just after our moving out only a few months,this feels like a drama to me and I still don’t accept his passed away,I suppose that our leaving deeply affected his mind and mood.at the last phone call with him he even asked me to come back to live with him,of course I said no,I still got zero regret now,he probably had no idea how bad he was as a father and he didn’t realize he messed up most of his relationships with others.I was a real good son who could bear With him for his last six years of life.

But still,he really wanted to live with his son,maybe for a sense of control,a fear of being old and not one to take care of him,or for executing boomer’s creeds or whatever the reason is.it does not matter now

And I told myself I forgave him.partly.

after his dead I got to go back and stay at this house for a few nights ,I can still feel the depression and desperation inside my heart

He got most of the credits and contributions

During this event lots of relative asked me to come back,stay at where they are just because they thought they made the right chose this is the best place for them so that’s the best place for me too,just like my father used to shout out to everyone his favor snake oil version of herbal tea.I still find it funny maybe because of their ignorance of how much I hated SF.if I tried to be mean I will say they still don’t really care,still don’t think and learn things from the events, like fishes with only six seconds

memory,maybe Cantonese are the worse breed but I wish they can truly be like human

09/08/2022