the-a-i-khan-blog

[the-a-i-khan-blog]

Grandpa Memoir

There are some people who come into your life and change it forever, and no matter what you can’t go back. There’s one friend who teaches you what being a real friend means, your first relationship teaches what it takes to make a relationship work, and those people who can teach you to always have fun no matter what. That was my grandpa, he raised me for my entire life. My mother wasn’t ready for a child. After my father's death, she parted her ways from me as she wanted to start her new life with someone else. I never realized how much I yearned for a mother’s love until I realized I would never get it. All my life, I believed one day she’d wake up and see that I was a lovable son. One day she’d open her arms and welcome me into her heart. Thankfully, my grandfather was there for me. They have given me more than I ever could have asked for. It took a lot for me to realize how fortunate I was to be placed in their care. Even though my grandpa passed away about 4 years ago, I still remember everything about him. If I could be like anybody, I would wish to become more like my late grandfather, whose memories have inspired me to strive for success, like the smell of old, dusty books which reminds me of his admiration on learning. An avid collector, he had many books, most of which went unread. He owned books on everything from medicine to Spain, to several sets of encyclopedias. After he faced health problems, he came less to the library and read fewer books. They became just part of the scenery, collecting only dust and memories. I have read a few now, after he is gone, and each time it brings back a hurt like a sore that refuses to heal. Our house had two floors with three bedrooms on the top floor and the storage rooms, where some of the goats also stayed on the ground floor. The house was built in the late 1800s before my father was born. However, the independent efforts of my grandfather established his early success in our business, as is evident by the roughness of his hands, a roughness resulting from the labor of his work throughout his life. At the same time, my father told me he would hold my father's hands, so gently with his rough hands when having a conversation with my father. He was always a fun person and looked for new adventures. Together, I and he would always go out and look for new small local diners together. Every other weekend we would go to a different one. Even when the places were bad, he still had a good time and laughed and joked. He made friends at every dinner we ate together at. Sometimes the good ones, we’d go back, and the waitress would laugh and joke with him as they took our orders. I’ve always looked up to my grandpa and how he had a way with people and making everyone in a room laugh. He could always make me smile, no matter what the situation is. I could be feeling down about something and he would go out of his way to make sure I felt better. Sometimes it was turning on the cooking channel and then trying to make the foods for me or other times it was just a drive on his car with me. Even though a drive may seem like nothing to most people but to us it was special. But he would always make me smile, and he made sure I always knew how proud he was of me. He supports me to learn new things when I am afraid in the beginning. I learned kindness, love, and affection from him. In the winter, we always went outside and walked on the little pond that had frozen over. I remember when we I was four years old and my grandpa and his friends were building the upstairs of their house. My little brother was outside alone playing by the pond and fell in the water. It’s not that deep, but for a 2-year-old it is. So, grandpa ran out of the house and jumped into the pond, scooped up my brother like a fishing cat catching prey. He got out of the water with him in his hands and then realized that his phone was in his pocket, so he went inside and put his phone in a bag of rice. My childhood was blessed, He was the one taking care of me and helping me move forward. I remember when I was 19 when I was accepted at University to study for a year abroad in the US. I went to him the day before I left to say goodbye. I said, “what’s the one piece of advice that I need before I leave grandpa?” He thought about it and said, “look up.” I took his advice to heart. Whenever life seems to be getting the best of me, I slow down and look up. My grandfather has worked his way up through his schooling and to go to college to get his degree. He has never given up even through the hard times that occurred in the 30’s and so on. It is astonishing that He can keep his head up high and his spirits strong through everything. He just makes me want to keep going and be successful just the same way that he was. It just gives me some sort of motivation and a sense of greater knowledge. Knowing that even though you go through a lot of things you can be very successful, just the way that she was. It helps me to understand to never give up. Whether it is in school outside of school. Or just in my day to day life altogether. Just look to the future, not the bad times that are going on right now. But for you to look at the good times that are to come. So, it is sort of the way that I live my life. And that’s the way that I wish others would live there’s as well. I look around and soak in the world around me. It works every time. Want to see the world? Slow down and look up. You’ll be amazed at what wonders you’ll see. One day at the end of my course at university when I received the worst news of my life. My grandfather has always seemed like the strongest man to me, I thought nothing could make him appear weak, and that’s why it came as such a shock to me when he was suffering from cancer. The last few months before his death was the worst. He had to stay in the hospital all the time. Most of the time he wasn’t there, he slept, for long hours at a time but when he did wake up he would joke around about how much he hated hospitals. Even though he was very sick, he still could make my face in a room light up and that’s what I always admired most. When he was in the hospital, I decided to make a list of memories, or things that I love about him. I don’t want to forget a single thing. So many of my favorite memories have you in them, Grandpa. Singing out loud with me while in our candy car was my favorite hobby. I’m sure Grandma wished that tape would somehow find its way to the garbage because you were probably so sick of listening to it on repeat. Man, we loved that tape. I also remember playing solitaire next to you, to pass the time while it rained. Cancer took my grandpa’s life, and for me, it was like losing a best friend. The emotions have been overwhelmingly intense. I didn’t even know anything could ever affect me so deeply. My body has been making sounds it’s never made before. I’ve been crying, shivering, waking up in the middle of the night with panic attacks. It’s been nuts. This is going to affect me for years to come. This cut is going to heal “ugly.” It’s like losing my mom, my grandmother and my best friend all at the same time. The last conversation we had, before his death I told him how much impact he had on my life. I told him I loved it the way u handled me at the time my mother left me. I told him to thank you for putting up with this crazy kid tearing up his house. He laughed and said, “You’re welcome.” Even though everything inside of me feels like a burning fire but I get the strength to wipe away the tears when I think about the last moment I spend with him. I am so grateful he died knowing what he meant to me. It helps the pain knowing that he understood how grateful I am that he stepped up when my father and my mother wasn’t around. Without my grandfather to believe in me, I realized that I didn’t even believe in myself. I still look up to him even though he isn’t here now. I tried to be positive even in the worst situations. I always tried to remember his lesson, this helps me to come up with my daily tensions and ups and downs of life. I fail though now and again, but I know my grandpa would be proud of me just for trying. He instilled in me the feeling that nothing is impossible in this world. It’s interesting that I had such a close relationship with my grandfather. Because people always judge you even your parents do; they say, ‘You shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do that, but with your grandparents, you have a feeling that you can say anything, or you can do anything, and they will support you. The best thing about Grandpa was he had time. Grandma was often busy preparing dinner, doing work, tidying up the house. But Grandpa would always put down whatever he was doing when she arrived, pour her a big glass of lemonade, and just look her in the eye and listen to whatever she had to tell him about her day. Then some days they worked on the big puzzle they were putting together, some days they washed the car, some days they went to the library and then curled up to read, whatever, Grandpa was always there for everyone. So, during my bad times, I try my best to stay positive. He made me learn that in this short and insignificant life and on your last day on earth, no one will judge you for the car you drove, or the size of the house you built or the money you made. People will remember you for the love and affection that you left behind and the respect you garnered through your deeds. My grandfather operated his life in a binary manner—pass/fail, good/bad, right/wrong. It surprises me that everything in the present world is grey nowadays. In this short life, have the courage to stand by your values and convictions. People who compromise on principles and values die every single day in the already limited time they have on earth. My grandpa was an inspiration for me. To say goodbye is too difficult, this is the unhappy moment that I have lived. It was 4 years ago, and I still remember each detail of that day. I still miss him so much, I need him, and I miss every moment that I spent with him. I fail though now and again, but I know my grandpa would be proud of me just for trying. So, during my bad times, I try my best to stay positive. I remember my grandpa every day.  I will miss you grandpa you led a simple and graceful life and your death taught me the resume I would want to build in life.  I remember my grandpa every day. Every time when I watch the cooking channel or go for a long drive I think of my grandpa. I keep him alive by telling funny stories and sharing his life lessons. I’ll always remember him.

[the-a-i-khan-blog]

Memoir; GRANDPA

           There are some people who come into your life and change it forever, and no matter what you can’t go back. There’s one friend who teaches you what being a real friend means, your first relationship teaches what it takes to make a relationship work, and those people who can teach you to always have fun no matter what. That was my grandpa, who raised me my entire life. My mother wasn’t ready for a child.

After my father's death she parted her ways from me as she wanted to start her new life with someone else. I never realized how much I yearned for a mother’s love until I realized I would never get it. All my life, I believed one day she’d wake up and see that I was a loveable son. One day she’d open her arms and welcome me into her heart. Thankfully, my grandfather was there for me. They have given me more than I ever could have asked for. It took a lot for me to realize how fortunate I was to be placed in their care.

Even though my grandpa passed away about 4 years ago, I still remember everything about him. If I could be like anybody, I would wish to become more like my late grandfather, whose memories have inspired me to strive for success, like the smell of old, dusty books which reminds me of his admiration on learning. An avid collector, he had many books, most of which went unread. He owned books on everything from medicine to Spain, to several sets of encyclopedias.

After he faced health problems, he came less to the library and read fewer books. They became just part of the scenery, collecting only dust and memories. I have read a few now, after he is gone, and each time it brings back a hurt like a sore that refuses to heal. Our house had two floors with three bedrooms on the top floor and the storage rooms, where some of the goats also stayed on the ground floor.

The house was built in the late 1800s before my father was born. However, the independent efforts of my grandfather established his early success in our business, as is evident by the roughness of his hands, a roughness resulting from the labor of his work throughout his life. At the same time, my father told me he would hold my father's hands, so gently with his rough hands when having a conversation with my father.

He was always a fun person and looked for new adventures. Together, I and him would always go out and look for new small local diners together. Every other weekend we would go to a different one. Even when the places were bad, he still had a good time and laughed and joked.

He made friends at every diner we ate together at. Sometimes the good ones, we’d go back, and the waitress would laugh and joke with him as they took our orders. I’ve always looked up to my grandpa and how he had a way with people and making everyone in a room laugh. He could always make me smile, no matter what the situation is.

I could be feeling down about something and he would go out of his way to make sure I felt better. Sometimes it was turning on the cooking channel and then trying to make the foods for me or other times it was just a drive on his car with me. Even though a drive may seem like nothing to most people but to us it was special. But he would always make me smile, and he made sure I always knew how proud he was of me.

He supports me learn new things when I am afraid in the beginning. I learnt kindness, love and affection from him. In the winter, we always went outside and walked on the little pond that had frozen over. I remember when we I was four years old and my grandpa and his friends were building the upstairs of their house. My little brother was outside alone playing by the pond and fell in the water. It’s not that deep, but for a 2-year-old it is. So, grandpa ran out of the house and jumped into the pond, scooped up my brother like a fishing cat catching prey. He got out of the water with him in his hands and then realized that his phone was in his pocket, so he went inside and put his phone in a bag of rice.

My childhood was blessed, He was the one taking care of me and helping me move forward. I remember when I was 19 when I was accepted at University to study for a year abroad in US. I went to him the day before I left to say goodbye. I said, “what’s the one piece of advice that I need before I leave grandpa?” He thought about it and said, “look up.” I took his advice to heart. Whenever life seems to be getting the best of me, I slow down, and look up.

My grandfather has worked his way up through his schooling and to go college to get his degree. He has never given up even through the hard times that occurred in the 30’s and so on. It is astonishing that He can keep his head up high and his spirits strong through everything. He just makes me want to keep going and be successful just the same way that he was. It just gives me some sort of motivation and a sense of greater knowledge.

Even though I go through a lot of hard experiences, I know I can be very successful, just the way she was. That helps me understand that I should never give up, whether it is in school outside of school or just in my day to day life. Just look to the future, I say to myself, not the bad times that are going on right now. Look at the good times that are to come. So, it is sort of the way that I live my life. And that’s the way that I wish others would live there’s as well. I look around and soak in the world around me. It works every time. Want to see the world? Slow down and look up. You’ll be amazed at what wonders you’ll see.

One day at the end of my course in university I received the worst news of my life. My grandfather has always seemed like the strongest man to me; I thought nothing could make him appear weak, and that’s why it came as such a shock to me when he was suffering from cancer. The last few months before his death were the worst. He had to stay in the hospital all the time. Most of the time he wasn’t there, he slept, for long hours at a time but when he did wake up he would joke around about how much he hated hospitals. Even though he was very sick, he still could make my face in a room light up and that’s what I always admired most.

When he was in the hospital, I decided to make a list of memories, or things that I love about him. I don’t want to forget a single thing. So many of my favorite memories have you in them, Grandpa. Singing out loud with me while in our candy car was my favorite hobby. I’m sure Grandma wished that tape would somehow find its way to the garbage because you were probably so sick of listening to it on repeat. Man, we loved that tape. I also remember playing solitaire next to you, to pass the time while it rained.

Cancer took my grandpa’s life, and for me it was like losing a best friend. The emotions have been overwhelmingly intense. I didn’t even know anything could ever affect me so deeply. My body has been making sounds it’s never made before. I’ve been crying, shivering, waking up in the middle of the night with panic attacks. It’s been nuts. This is going to affect me for years to come. This cut is going to heal “ugly.” It’s like losing my mom, my grandmother and my best friend all at the same time.

The last conversation we had, before his death I told him how much impact he had on my life. I told him I loved it the way u handled me at the time my mother left me. I told him thank you for putting up with this crazy kid tearing up his house. He laughed and said, “You’re welcome.” Even though everything inside of me feels like a burning fire but I get the strength to wipe away the tears when I think about the last moment I spend with him.

I am so grateful he died knowing what he meant to me. It helps the pain knowing that he understood how grateful I am that he stepped up when my father and my mother wasn’t around. Without my grandfather to believe in me, I realized that I didn’t even believe in myself. I still look up to him even though he isn’t here now. I tried to be positive even in the worst situations. I always tried to remember his lesson, this help me to come up with my daily tensions and ups and downs of life.

I fail though now and again, but I know my grandpa would be proud of me just for trying. He instilled in me the feeling that nothing is impossible in this world. It’s interesting that I had such a close relationship with my grandfather. Because people always judge you even your parents do; they say, ‘You shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do that, but with your grandparents you have a feeling that you can say anything, or you can do anything, and they will support you.

The best thing about Grandpa was he had time. Grandma was often busy preparing dinner, doing work, tidying up the house. But Grandpa would always put down whatever he was doing when she arrived, pour her a big glass of lemonade, and just look her in the eye and listen to whatever she had to tell him about her day. Then some days they worked on the big puzzle they were putting together, some days they washed the car, some days they went to the library and then curled up to read, whatever, Grandpa was always there for everyone. So, during my bad times I try my best to stay positive.

He made me learn that in this short and insignificant life and on your last day on earth, no one will judge you for the car you drove, or the size of the house you built or the money you made. People will remember you for the love and affection that you left behind and the respect you garnered through your deeds.

My grandfather operated his life in a binary manner—pass/fail, good/bad, right/wrong. It surprises me that everything in the present world is grey nowadays. In this short life, have the courage to stand by your values and convictions. People who compromise on principles and values die every single day in the already limited time they have on earth. My grandpa was an inspiration for me. To say good bye is too difficult, this is the unhappy moment that I have lived. It was 4 years ago, and I still remember each detail of that day. I still miss him so much, I need him, and I miss every moment that I spent with him.

I fail though now and again, but I know my grandpa would be proud of me just for trying. So, during my bad times I try my best to stay positive. I remember my grandpa every day.  I will miss you grandpa you led a simple and graceful life and your death taught me the resume I would want to build in life.  I remember my grandpa every day. Every time when I watch the cooking channel or go for a long drive I think of my grandpa. I keep him alive by telling funny stories and sharing his life lessons. I’ll always remember him.

Sincerely 

Ali Iftikhar Khan