the-blue-wraith - Tumblr blog

[the-blue-wraith]

It is what it is but like. Can it be something else

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bg3 challenge • [1/3] companions

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elrena's #1 fan

[the-blue-wraith]

i don't think we talk enough about how childhood bullying really just. fucks up your ability to make friends long-term.

I'm not talking about self-image or even like attachment styles, although peer emotional abuse affects that too. I'm talking about how it legitimately stunts your understanding of how positive platonic relationships even work.

Like, a few years back (pre pandemic) a classmate point-blank told me, "hey, you're pretty cool, do you wanna come out for drinks and trivia with us Thursday night?" and my first internal reaction wasn't "oh cool, a friend!" or even "I'm not really interested" but: "where is the trap?" My kneejerk response to an earnest overture of friendship from this guy was trying to figure out how he was trying to back me into a corner, trick me into something, or make fun of me. We were in goddamm GRADUATE SCHOOL.

Of course I did end up going to drinks and it was a lovely time, but sometimes I think about the sheer number of potential friendships I've missed out on because I read their intentions as potentially hostile, *even when their intent is clearly not hostile*. Getting asked out for drinks is SUPER NORMAL. Being invited to parties is normal. Meeting for coffee is normal. in fact it's a primary way of forging adult friendships. But i am immediately wary of it, because the years in which I was developing most of my crucial social skills were spent dodging cruel pranks, getting invited to fake parties or uninvited from real ones, getting asked out "as a joke", being given compliments that were actually somehow insults, and so forth.

I don't have problems making friends-- I talk to people for a living, I am overall extremely charismatic and get invited out a lot, but I struggle to forge new connections because my trained response is to be immediately suspicious of people who appear friendly, welcoming and well-intentioned -- even fifteen years later. This is why I don't get the "you should have been bullied more" crowd. Like somehow bullying makes you more "normal". It definitely doesn't, even if "normal" was a real thing. I am definitely a more antisocial weirdo as a result of prolonged peer-to-peer emotional abuse than I would have been otherwise.

[the-blue-wraith]

Yesterday the heat was 51°C here in our place 💀 This is worse than heII lmao

[the-blue-wraith]

sparkle on it is wednesday my dudes

don’t forget to aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

[the-blue-wraith]

Apostate? Check. Dalish? Check. Frighteningly powerful? Triple check

[the-blue-wraith]

no offense but if i exit out of a program that program should close. none of that running in the background shit.

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It's been a long time since I rendered anything in my usual style, so I decided to just have fun and go ham. And yay! I was finally able to draw Lauriam to my satisfaction!

[the-blue-wraith]

since this is my most popular piece, gonna mention that i do commissions, which you can see the details of on my pinned post

shoutouts to project destati for reblogging this a bunch

[the-blue-wraith]

Even the cherry tree, swaying in the wind Softly reaches out toward you

[the-blue-wraith]

Reblog and put in the tags, personally, your underrated/unpopular fictional crushes.

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Sparkle on! It’s Wednesday! Don’t forget to be yourself!

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“source?” divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams

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[the-blue-wraith]

Sketch 🤠

[the-blue-wraith]

yeah “i can teach you” is kind and gentle and warm and comforting. it’s also hot. right