the-fire-breathing-turtle - Tumblr blog

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

don’t pretend the Great Tag Ban isn’t funny. don’t pretend that content being automatically removed from the site for using arbitrary terms like “girl” or “tony the tiger” isn’t hilarious

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

Listen man I can't plan ahead any further than a week, two weeks tops, and you're telling me I need to know where my life is gonna be in six months just so I can make a dentist appointment what if I'm in nebraska jerry what if im burying myself in a sand dune in nebraska in six months how am i supposed to see a dentist if i'm in nebraska buried in a sand dune

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

happy first Bella From Twilight Depression Month

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

Unmute !

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

my little brother came into my room last night to tell me that he was gonna sew a stack of my mom’s saltine crackers together through the little holes and then left again

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

I laughed way too hard at this

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

During the 2020 Pandemic

Regular people: I can’t read their expression with that mask.

Animorphs fans: *He’s smiling with his eyes!!!!* 😭😍😭😍😭😍

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

Hell world

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

So I asked nonbinary reddit this a while back:

And they really went all out, here are some of my favorite responses:

And of course, the most confusing of all to cis people:

Link to the original if you wanna see more responses! 

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

college is catered towards the able bodied and able minded. school applauds people who can stay up all night, skip meals, and work endlessly. that kind of extreme contribution is expected. why are disabled people being squeezed out of academic institutions? why should I feel inferior because of some arbitrary and ridiculous standard?

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

A king has no sons, no daughters, and no queen. For this reason he must decide who will take the throne after he dies. To do this he decides that he will give all of the children of the kingdom a single seed. Whichever child has the largest, most beautiful plant will earn the throne; this being a metaphor for the kingdom. At the end of the contest all of the children came to the palace with their enormous and beautiful plants in hand. After he looks at all of the children’s pots, he finally decides that the little girl with an empty pot will be the next Queen. Why did he choose this little girl over all of the other children with their beautiful plants.

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

what’s tonight’s mood

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

personally I would love to introduce some medieval peasants to synth music. not for sinister reasons. just because I think they'd like it actually

[the-fire-breathing-turtle]

chillin on a Saturday night