the-healing-mindset - Tumblr blog

[the-healing-mindset]

It's dangerous to go alone, take this.

Healing potions ✨

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[the-healing-mindset]

[the-healing-mindset]

Sometimes when people talk about the trauma they endured, they might cry or otherwise get upset. They may get angry. But some other normal reactions are that they may not show emotion. Maybe they even smile or laugh.

There is no “rule” for how someone should be when they discuss their trauma. We are all different and our brains react differently.

Please don’t say someone is lying because they’re not reacting the way you think is “right”.

[the-healing-mindset]

well, you know what? i'm gonna be gentle to myself. whether or not i accomplish things. whether i'm at my one hundred or at my ten percent. whether i'm angry, happy, stressed, anxious or insecure. even when i don't have all the answers or all the hope. even when the world demands more and more of what i can no longer give. even when i disappoint people. even, even, even.

[the-healing-mindset]

“Be yourself. No, not the person that everyone expects you to be. No, not the one that you are pressured into being. But your TRUE self. Only you know who this individual is, so meet them, greet them, and stay close to them.”

— Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin

[the-healing-mindset]

Yk how we like to think of boundaries? Like a superpower that allows you to create barriers around yourself. And people with such abilities live in a world where people are incredibly hostile towards each other sometimes and decide to throw knives at each other. Everybody has that ability, but it needs to be developed further purposefully. So, for example, children don't have it much, and it goes a little haywire, and usually their parents are the ones to protect them with their already developed ability (and if parents are shit at it, their kids are being hurt, yes). Teens are also not very good. But the end goal for all of them is for the ability to work subconsciously, AKA have enough awareness that the ability starts activating itself when it sees danger. At first, people are mindful and still get hurt because it's a process of developing that awareness. The knives still get thrown at you, and your ability doesn't work 100%. You'll get angry, frustrated, think it's not worth it, would blow up on people, but eventually would keep going. And you'll get it! Eventually, you will. But there will always be something to develop.

-host, co-host & persecutor-caretaker

[the-healing-mindset]

The Unseen Layers: Navigating Emotional Landscapes in Relationships

In this emotionally charged episode of Berry Unearthed: Rooted in Resilience, Phil and Crystal delve into the hidden intricacies of their relationship. They kick things off by discussing the art of eliciting reactions from each other—sometimes for humor and sometimes as a barometer for emotional states. Phil shares his amusement in pushing Crystal’s buttons just to see her react, highlighting the childlike joy that can be found in long-term relationships.

As the conversation deepens, Phil and Crystal explore the idea of “emotional mechanics,” the unseen forces that keep a relationship ticking. Phil admits to sometimes being the instigator but also appreciates the balance and boundary-setting that Crystal brings to the table. Crystal, in turn, values Phil’s provocations as opportunities for self-reflection and growth.

The duo shifts gears to discuss the concept of resilience within relationships. They both agree that resilience isn’t just about bouncing back from hardships but also about navigating the day-to-day nuances that come with being in a committed partnership. Phil stresses the importance of not taking things too seriously, while Crystal emphasizes the need for conscious decision-making rather than reacting out of emotional impulse.

In a surprising turn, the episode segues into a broader discussion about societal expectations and how they can strain relationships. Phil criticizes the media’s role in polarizing opinions and fostering a culture of outrage, advocating for more independent thinking. Crystal counters by pointing out that genuine change requires a collective effort, something that can be daunting in a society resistant to change.

Throughout the episode, both Phil and Crystal exhibit a level of vulnerability that adds depth to their discussions. They acknowledge the challenges they’ve faced in their own relationship, from communication breakdowns to differing perspectives on various issues. Yet, they both agree that it’s the journey, with its struggles and triumphs, that makes a relationship truly resilient and fulfilling.

In wrapping up, they stress the importance of continuous growth, open communication, and the value of both embracing and challenging each other’s viewpoints. This episode serves as a masterclass in maintaining a resilient relationship, making it a must-listen for anyone invested in personal growth and relational dynamics.

Check out this episode!

[the-healing-mindset]

I now allow myself to experience the freedom, the joy, and the elation of having my desires manifest.

That's all that I need to do. Experiencing it now brings it to me.

[the-healing-mindset]

every time my anxiety starts acting up, i always tell her “shh, you’re fine, baby. you’re okay.” then she usually calms down.

i dunno who needs to hear this, but positive self talk works. i know it may seem stupid, but give it a shot. you’d be surprised by how much it can do

[the-healing-mindset]

To All The Guys On Tumblr:

You are awesome and you’re a great person. You deserve to be happy a loved. You may not be perfect and you sometimes make mistakes, but that’s okay, you’re still awesome with you’re flaws. You’re handsome no matter what anyone else says and your personality only enhances your looks. Don’t let anyone undermine your worth with their cruel words, you are valuable no matter what they say. Never let others make you feel ashamed for being a boy; they are wrong and should not be listened to. 

You are more wonderful than I could describe with these words here and always feel that way about yourself.

[the-healing-mindset]

How to Help a Friend See they’re Not a Failure

1. Remind them of all the kind and thoughtful things they’ve done for you, and for the other people in their life.

2. Remind them of times when they’ve pushed ahead, and kept on going, even when it was hard.

3. Remind them of the times when things worked out eventually, and their efforts were rewarded, and they reached a personal goal.

4. Remind of the funny things they’ve said and done, and the times when you have laughed, and shared some happy memories.

5. Show them they are worthwhile and are valuable by doing something special that makes them feel they’re loved.

[the-healing-mindset]

so I know we’ve been talking about how incredible it was for the Kiss II to be framed in such a realistic way, but I can’t stop thinking about how powerful it also is in the context of Ed’s personal trauma journey.

this is a guy who’s been nothing if not dissociative. he’s been beaten to a pulp, his brain is couscous and he was literally half-dead for a while, and he doesn’t remember the talent show; it’s fairly likely that there’s a significant amount of other shit not just from the past few weeks/months but also his entire life that he doesn’t remember, either. he struggles to stay in the moment, he’s the king of misreading social cues, and he’s so flippantly masochistic that he’s probably been in a state of physical and psychological pain so consistently for so long that he’s assumed it as a personality trait. and now that the storm is over, he’s literally relearning to be a person—he’s fully learning what it even means to be himself again.

given all that, of course he’s going to have a complicated relationship to physical intimacy. while this show is obviously played up for dramatic storytelling, it’s certainly true that trauma fucks up the body as much as the brain; it’s dysregulating, it’s dissociative, and it’s fucking terrifying. it’s a whole process to recoup. and when you’ve lived a life where blocking out your physical cues is a necessity for survival, you will likely need time to relearn that positive feelings of the body can exist without threat, or relearn even to feel at all.

I know all of this is subtext, but it’s just so fucking beautiful to me that a show is willing to show love and trust as that first step to healing. that needing time to rebuild a relationship with yourself and your body is not a barrier to love—that you don’t have to love yourself before you can love someone else, and that love can be a stepping stone on your own journey, actually. trauma is such a difficult topic that is often used quite flippantly in media and while I’m obviously not saying this show isn’t also fantastical and dramatic and exaggerated, it sure is incredible to see the weight it introduces ride out its full impact. it’s something I don’t see that often in media that’s not intentionally written with a trauma focus and i can’t respect it enough for that.

[the-healing-mindset]

You can’t heal them too

As we go through our healing, we begin to feel our best. We begin to feel so good, in fact, that we want others to experience exactly what we have been able to do for ourselves. After all, everyone wants to feel good, right? We start taking it upon ourselves to try to get others to do the work that we have done. Healing. Seeing life in a more positive light. Working on the past for a better future. We can’t do this though.

It isn’t our place to get others to do their healing. They may not be ready. They may not be capable. It may even be possible that they don’t want to heal. There is nothing that either of us can do to change either one of those variables. In that though, we have to look out for ourselves. If it bothers us that others are not doing their healing, then it may be possible that we need to look to ourselves and set boundaries to avoid being triggered.

Yes, our healing journeys are amazing, but everyone has to reach this point for themselves. The point of wanting to take on a more challenging life to work on themselves for the better. We can’t heal others. In the same way that others can push us to change things that we are not capable of or willing to change at this very moment, we can’t push others to be more “like us.”

Trying to do this very well could cause further damage to relationships that are already strained. If not that, then it could cause resentment of the self and also resentment of the other person. People are as they are and people are as they are going to be. Those individuals are the only ones who can change that. Just as you were the one who chose to set out on your healing journey.

Don’t stress yourself over trying to get others to heal or to “do better.” We each have choices to make, and one that you may have to make for yourself is to get comfortable with being around those who are unhealed and to remember your why in all of this. It was never about anyone else.

[the-healing-mindset]

Shadow Work prompts for early childhood

Exploring your early childhood and connecting with your inner child can be a powerful aspect of shadow work. Here are 30 prompts to help you delve a little deeper

What are your earliest memories from childhood, and how do they make you feel?

Reflect on your relationship with your parents or caregivers during your early years. How has it influenced your adult life?

Explore the concept of attachment and your attachment style. How has it affected your relationships?

What were the primary messages you received about yourself and your worth as a child?

Write a letter to your inner child, offering love, support, and understanding.

Describe a specific moment from your childhood when you felt happy and carefree.

Think about a moment from your childhood when you felt scared or vulnerable. How does that memory affect you today?

How did you cope with stress or difficult emotions as a child, and are those coping mechanisms still present in your life?

Reflect on any significant losses or changes you experienced as a child and how they impacted you.

What were your favorite activities or hobbies as a child, and do you still engage in them?

Explore any unfulfilled dreams or ambitions from your early years and how they relate to your current goals.

Write about any patterns or behaviors that you observed in your family during your childhood.

Consider the role of your inner critic. What negative self-talk or beliefs developed during your early years?

Reflect on your early friendships. How did they shape your understanding of connection and trust?

Explore your understanding of love and affection as a child. How has it evolved in your adult relationships?

What were the rules and expectations in your family during your childhood, and how do they affect you now?

How do you deal with your inner child's needs and emotions when they arise in your adult life?

Describe a moment from your childhood when you felt a strong sense of self-esteem or confidence.

Think about the ways you were praised or criticized as a child. How do those experiences impact your self-esteem?

Reflect on any role models or significant people from your childhood who influenced your development.

Explore your earliest experiences of shame or guilt and how they continue to affect you.

Write a dialogue between your present self and your inner child. What would your inner child say to you?

Consider the concept of playfulness and joy. How can you incorporate more of this into your life?

Reflect on your relationship with authority figures in your early years and how it relates to your adult experiences.

Describe a childhood dream or fantasy. Does it hold any significance or wisdom for you today?

Explore your relationship with trust. How do you decide who to trust, and does it stem from your childhood experiences?

What were the unspoken or hidden aspects of your family dynamics during your childhood?

Write about any unfinished emotional business from your early years that you'd like to address.

Consider any unresolved anger or resentment from your childhood. How does it affect your current relationships?

Reflect on the concept of self-care for your inner child. What activities or practices can nurture your inner child's well-being?

[the-healing-mindset]

what if god said yes

what if you got quiet. what if you got so quiet and you curled up in a little ball in your bed with a stuffed animal or a blanket or a pillow and you said, “god, can we talk?” and because god is you and you are god you didn’t have to wait and you didn’t have to go anywhere at all and—“yes,” god said. and you said, “god, i want an apartment with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city.” “god, i want the boy with the kind eyes and tattoo-covered arms and exquisite taste in music.” “god, i want to feel alive again.” “god, i want to travel first-class to switzerland.” “god, i want a hound dog named finn.” and god said, “yes.” and you said, “but how can you make this happen?” and god said, “i can make anything happen.” and you said, “quickly?” and god said, “i love you. why would i not make this rapid?” and you said, “i can trust you?” and god said, “like your life depends on it.” and you said, “my life does depend on it.” and god said, “i know. i’ve got it now. you’re safe. let me take care of it.” and you hugged god. and god hugged you. and you hugged yourself. and you drifted off to sleep saying, “i have it. i’m safe. i have it. i’m safe. i have it. i’m—” and you woke in the morning and the world was new. because you knew it was done. because god said yes. and god never goes back on a yes unless you tell god “no.” and any time throughout the day you thought, “is anything happening?” god said, “it’s all happening.” and you said, “but i can’t see a thing.” and god said, “i am your eyes.” and you said, “but i don’t have to do anything?” and god said, “you did the only thing needed.” and you said, “but what about my thoughts and my state and acting as if?” and god said, “i love you.” and you knew what that meant. so instead of worrying or wondering or obsessing another second, you went to the bakery and bought a slice of chocolate cake and drove home and sat on your back deck and ate and ate and watched the sunset and celebrated.

[the-healing-mindset]

One day the depression will be back and the clouds will darken the sky, but right now, in this moment, I am filled with so much light and love that I want to cry.

Bottling up this feeling so I remember later.

[the-healing-mindset]

I'm curious, did anyone else have this experience as a kid, of waiting to find the person who wouldn't hate you? Like yeah, your parents acted like you're a waste of space, but you were sure that deep inside there was something more to you, and one day someone would realize that and care for who you really are. And you kept trying to reach out, outside of the home, to find someone who would get you.

And then eventually you found someone you connected to on a deep level and who you felt intensely bonded with, who seemed to accept you and want you for something at last. And when this person suddenly changed their mind and also decided that you were not worth a second glance, it broke something inside of you?

Like you were able to keep resilient against all the abuse if there was one person who was on your side and saw something good in you, but if even that one special person decided you were worthless, then your resilience broke and you couldn't find it in yourself to doubt what everyone around you thought of you, that you were nothing, bad, poisonous, evil.

I keep carrying this shame in me and still trying to prove to myself and to the world that it is not true, but I've never gotten over that intense rejection and reactions of disgust on me being vulnerable, hurt, or wanting to be close. Even if I don't feel it when I'm alone, next to other people I only wait for the moment they'll decide that I'm not worth a second of their time, and that I'm in fact, repulsive in every possible way. Did anyone recover from this?