the-prophet-mich

[the-prophet-mich]

dear usamerican high schoolers looking for a way to resist fascism: sit through the pledge of allegiance.

no getting up. no looking at the flag.

everyone will be looking at you. you'll be sweating like a fucking hippopotamus. your teacher will sternly tell you to get up. you'll feel stupid and that maybe its not worth it because you're just a kid in a classroom. but I'm here to remind you that there are no real life consequences to detention. there are however real life consequences to resisting a thoughtless performance of nationalism.

[the-prophet-mich]

Stories should have in-universe clichés and stereotypes. A teenage dragon rider who gets a dragon who will be his steed for life and is a solid inky black and immediately names her Midnight. He then immediately encounters someone who sees his steed who goes "lmao please don't tell me you're one of those young riders who gets a dark-colour dragon and immediately names it Darkness or Midnight or something, and starts acting like being dark and broody has been their whole thing their whole life."

And he immediately scrambles back like "oh no of course not that's cringe, her name is - uh - Daisy."

Meanwhile the Morbid Broody Dark Gothy One is bonded with a bright dandelion yellow dragon, naming her steed Sulfur and then revamps her whole aesthetic into a black-and-yellow Toxins, Poisons And Venoms -theme.

[the-prophet-mich]

[the-prophet-mich]

The fact that animals that care for their young will sometimes adopt others' lost or orphaned young to raise along their own is just funny to me. I know that it's all hormonal and there's no conscious thought involved in it, but the internal logic of it is so funny.

"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."

[the-prophet-mich]

Growing up, my brother and I deeply dreaded going shoe shopping. It took hours, especially if it was for winter boots. My dad would examine the stitching, the brand reliability, the temperature recommendations, every piece of information he could get his hands on, and then when he'd finally found the right brand, it was on to making absolutely dead sure they fit properly - he had a particular way of poking the toe of the boot to ensure our foot was where it was supposed to be that always drove me nuts. This was always on a weekend, and it was about the worst punishment we could imagine.

Years later, I found out that he'd spent his entire childhood on the Canadian prairies with cold feet. My grandmother just bought whatever boots looked like the best value, regardless of whether they'd keep anyone warm. They'd kept him from frostbite, probably, but never, ever comfortable.

The reason my grandmother never had a thought about this was because she was buying her kids real boots. There was a sort of magical quality about real, purpose-made boots that meant that of course they'd work, because when she was growing up on the Canadian prairies, they had the kind of no money that meant you just stuffed some newspaper into your shoes and soldiered on.

The last pair of winter boots my dad bought for me was 15 years ago, in preparation for a three-month stint living in northern Quebec in midwinter. They cost $200 then, or something like it. I've worn them every year since, driving out to the remotest locations on the Canadian prairies and never once thinking about my feet.

When I read the Vimes Boots Theory for the first time, it rang a bell that reverberated back three generations.

[the-prophet-mich]

[the-prophet-mich]

Conversational skill check: Work acquaintance mentions in an offhand tone with no discernible expression that they have recently lost over 20 pounds. They fail to elaborate. A response is expected.

Me, rolling a 6: …On purpose?

[the-prophet-mich]

the transition from people needing each other to wanting each other is literally one of my greatest weaknesses that shit makes me want to walk into the sea and sit on the ocean floor for a thousand years

[the-prophet-mich]

[the-prophet-mich]

i like the phrases "it's not for me," "it's not my thing," and "i'm not the target audience" because they're the most concise way to express "this thing that you enjoy has merits but idgaf about it" without being aggressive

[the-prophet-mich]

Imagine if getting core mental trauma was somehow audible or visible. Like you're already having a bad day and you're trying to wrangle two toddlers and a bag of groceries and work was ass and then you hear the sound of something shattering and you just know that one of your kids' emotional core and sense of basic safety just fucking broke and you can't even tell which one it was.

[the-prophet-mich]

*arguing about who is most robin-like*

Damian: robins reguarly fight to the death to defend their home. i am the most territorial, therefore i fit the bird mantle more accurately,

Tim, lazily: robins are also omnivores, so you’re out, you fucking vegan

Damian: i am vegetarian not vegan you utter-

Steph, googling: apparently robins are monogamous and mate for life. so. like.

Dick:

Steph: Dick’s out.

Dick: you’re mean.

Tim: this forum says that robins die really young and only really tend to live to like, five or six.

Dick:

Steph:

Damian:

Tim: …so…

Everyone: *slowly turns to look at Jason, who’s busy reading a book*

Jason: *looks back at them, incredulous*

Jason: oh come on- i’m not even a part of this debate, how am i STILL catching strays?!

Dick: we’re saying you’re the most robin like-!

Jason: FOR GETTING CAUGHT BY A PREDATOR.

Damian: oh god, i’ve already been Robin for two years. how long do you think i have left?

Jason: you guys are assholes

Tim: stop making everything about you Jason, Damian might DIE soon.

Jason: ?!?

[the-prophet-mich]

Being A Fan Of Something Popular: Expectation vs Reality.

[the-prophet-mich]

I was gonna make a post about "what if humans went through neoteny like axolotls and we stayed in the body of teenagers for our whole lives"

but then I looked up Neoteny to make sure I understood it correctly and...

What the fuck?

So humans are just baby monkeys for our whole lives???

[the-prophet-mich]

I think this is the first time I've made furry ocs that are fully mine and not a design for an existing character. I will make more but for now, have a caecilian libarian (unnamed rn, he/him) and his bobbit worm college medical student friend (she/her her name is mosiac also)

[the-prophet-mich]

bert and ernie go to ikea

[the-prophet-mich]

mutuals feel free to do this