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[theangstyboiblog]

Oh my god I need more. I started with this chapter cause it came up in the filter first and had to go all the way back to the beginning and I just ran through. Your writing is just gaaaaah I didn’t know I needed an Astarion perspective and this is just so freaking smooth 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

Field Study - Chapter 13

Ao3 - Masterlist

Chapter Summary: After Astarion and Cas's tryst in the woods, they have a much needed conversation about their relationship.

Relationships: Astarion x Female!Tav

Rating: Explicit (18+)

Word Count: 4.8k

Chapter Tags: Fluff, admitting feelings, cuddling, hand holding, she's wearing his shirt.

“Do you have any interest in astronomy?” Cas lounged beside him on the blankets and bedroll she had laid over grass beneath them, gazing up at the starlit sky.

After their tryst in the forest, Astarion had carried her all the way back to their private, makeshift campsite on the border of the river. Crickets and frogs mixed with the gentle rush of water as fireflies blinked wherever he looked. Though it was well past midnight, the summer air was still warm. Warm enough that Cas felt comfortable laying around in her panties and his shirt without making use of one of the blankets.

His shirt was far too big on her, but he couldn’t help but stare. He didn’t normally wear a shirt when he rested, so he didn’t mind the theft. In fact, he kind of liked seeing her wearing something of his. Cas claimed she wanted it because it looked comfortable, but he had a feeling it was more than that.

It almost felt like she was claiming him, in a small, private, way. Just like he had claimed her with his bite mark, she claimed him by wearing his clothes. But it was more subtle than the bite. Less permanent. While those twin puncture wounds on her neck aggressively marked her as his, she quietly marked him in return. Cas knew him well enough to know he would never allow her to mark him physically. But the fact he was allowing her to wear his clothes at all…. It was something. Something difficult to explain.

Just like his feelings towards her. Difficult, confusing, and often contradictory. It was like everything about her, about their relationship, ran perpendicular to what he knew. The lifetime of cruelty Cazador had drilled into him insisted that none of it was real. That he didn’t deserve her or the moments of peace she gave him.

But there Cas was. Laying beside him with her dark eyes glittering with the reflection of a million stars. Gorgeous and understanding to a fault, but all his. At least for tonight.

He didn’t dare think beyond that.

“Eroc tried to teach me some constellations once upon a time,” she continued, completely unaware of all the thoughts coursing through his mind. She drew an invisible line with her finger as if to paint an image in the stars. “I can recognize them, but I can never remember their names.”

Astarion hummed, but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t because he found the conversation boring. In fact, he typically enjoyed talking about everything and nothing with Cas. But he felt like there was something they should have been doing other than talking.

Hells, she was practically laid before him like a gift that was already partially unwrapped. Long, slender, legs bare beside him and the v of his shirt revealing the soft curve of her breasts. He could have her so easily. Any way he wanted her. That was what they were supposed to be doing, right? Wasn’t the point of the entire night to get lost in one another? To have fun?

They hadn’t promised anything else. All he knew was that she wanted him enough to look past his mistakes. But he couldn’t fathom why.

Briefly, he wondered if Cas would have suggested the hunting idea if he was anyone else. If he wasn’t a vampire. Hunting her, biting her…. Was he fulfilling some deranged fantasy of hers?

No. Cas wasn’t like that. They had talked a little bit about her research, and that research seemed to be the extent of her interest in vampires. At least, vampires in general. From what he knew, her friend Eroc was working on various treatments and quality-of-life improvements for those cursed with the affliction. Most likely for his own sake rather than for the benefit of vampires everywhere. However, Astarion never bothered to ask for details. It seemed pointless at the time.

But now? Now he wanted to know everything that was going through Cas’s head. What did she really think of him? Why did she still want him, even after what happened with the drow? Did she mean all of the things she said?

‘You’re clever and funny and you’re one of my favorite people to talk to.’

‘Whatever you’re doing with me — this whole sneaking kisses in the middle of the night — doesn’t need to happen for me to help you.’

‘Thank you for being my friend and making me laugh.’

Then there was the portrait she made for him. It was the most wonderful gift someone had ever given him. She had put thought and time into it, and wrapped it up and left it as a surprise for him. He certainly didn’t deserve such kindness. Not from her and definitely not at that moment.

He didn’t deserve someone like Cas.

Instead of looking at the stars, he tilted his head toward her. She was the prettier sight, after all. And the gods knew she shined just as bright. She seemed so relaxed. Content. Like she wasn’t expecting anything more than exactly what they were doing.

Fuck….

He was falling for her, wasn’t he? Oh, who the hells was he kidding? He had started falling for her the night she let him bite her. Or maybe the night when she brought him a bottle of wine. Maybe when he watched her draw while they were keeping watch in the swamp or when they discussed the changeling detective novel. Moments of where she didn’t gain anything from him except his company.

Hells, Cas had given him her blood just because he had asked. Without any expectations or asking for something in return. Just because she had wanted him to be strong. To be happy.

Strangely enough, Astarion found himself wanting her happiness as well. Not just his own. And he wanted to be the one who brought a smile to her face.

But that could never happen. Not while Cazador loomed over Astarion’s shoulder like a headsman with an ax. If Cazador ever regained control over him, if he ever found out about Cas…. Astarion would have to bring her to his old master, wouldn’t he? With a snap of his fingers, Cazador could turn Astarion from Cas’s lover to her tormentor. Or her executioner.

He couldn’t bear the thought.

“Astarion, are you okay?” Cas’s soft-spoken question snapped him out of his thoughts. A cute little frown tugged at the corners of her lips and he wanted to kiss it away. She turned onto her side, propping her chin on her palm as she gazed down at him, eyes full of concern. “You’ve gone quiet.”

“Just thinking, sweetheart,” he assured with a practiced smile. Force of habit, he realized. He gave false assurances all the time when he was luring people, but he didn’t want to deceive Cas. Yet, he wasn’t quite sure how to tell her what was on his mind. Or if he even should.

Her brow drew together slightly, but her frown didn’t fade. “About?”

It was supposed to be a fun night. He couldn’t let himself ruin it because he couldn’t get out of his own head for a few hours.

Astarion brushed a loose strand of hair away from her face, letting his fingertips ghost over her soft skin. “About how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have met you,” he tried, his false smile still firmly in place even though his words were technically true. It just wasn’t the whole truth.

A puff of laughter passed her lips as she rolled her eyes. “Now tell me what you’re really thinking about.”

Instead of replying right away, he caressed the side of her face and guided her lips to his. For a second, she held back, simply letting him kiss her. But then she relented. He rolled her onto her back and caged her beneath him, kissing her slowly. Giving himself a few more seconds to think.

Hells, he wasn’t even sure how to define his relationship with Cas. Beyond the fact that they both seemed to enjoy each other's company both in and out of the bedroom. What if she just wanted a fling? What if he was simply thinking too much about it because… she was special to him? Maybe it was time to admit that he wanted more. Though he wasn’t sure what “more” entailed.

But their relationship still seemed so fragile. It wasn’t but a few hours ago that he had convinced himself that Cas wanted to end their love affair. But they never really talked about what they wanted. All he knew was they wanted each other.

A warm, gentle, hand pressed against his chest until he broke the kiss. Once he did, Cas immediately cupped his face in her hands as if to stop him from trying the same tactic twice. “You’re trying to distract me,” she chided, a soft smile on her pretty lips. “If you don’t want to talk about something, just say so. I’ll leave it alone.”

“Like you are right now?”

She narrowed her eyes at him and the look of annoyance on her face drew an unexpected laugh from him. It was a more playful sort of annoyance than something that stemmed from a place of genuine frustration. Though he couldn’t really fault her if it was genuine. He was being difficult on purpose.

“Stop looking at me like that or you’ll wrinkle your pretty face prematurely,” he said and smoothed her brow with his fingertip.

Like it was the most natural thing in the world, she looped her arms around his neck and smiled up at him, eyes full of mischief. “Is that what happened to you?”

“How dare you.” Astarion placed a hand against his chest with mock offense. “You drew that lovely portrait of me and didn’t capture a single one? Here I was thinking you were a competent artist.”

Cas shrugged. “I took some liberties,” she teased but then her smile fell as her dark eyes locked with his. “And you’re still trying to change the subject.”

Instead of answering right away, he leaned down to kiss her again only to be blocked by her palm over his lips. She bit back a smile and shook her head. “Astarion.”

“Fine,” he groaned. “There is something that I want to ask you about. Something kind of important.”

“Okay,” she said as she settled back against the bedroll, her fingers playing idly with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Ask away.”

Shit. His nerves caught in his throat. He was committed to asking her now, wasn’t he? He couldn’t retreat without drawing her suspicion. Briefly, he considered just making something up. A question that sounded important but that he really didn’t care about. That way no matter how she answered, he wouldn’t get hurt.

No. He had to be honest. He had to talk to her if he didn’t want things to blow up in his face like they did before. If she didn’t give him the answer he hoped to hear, well, he could always improvise. He was good at that.

Before he could lose his nerve, he took a deep breath. “What made you decide to give me another chance?” he asked. “I was surprised that you still wanted me after, well, everything.”

There. The words were out and there was no taking them back. It wasn’t the exact question he wanted to ask, but he felt like it could get him the same information regardless. If he were to have any hope of having something real with her, then they had to be able to have hard conversations.

“To be completely honest, I was surprised too,” she said, her tone soft and contemplative as her fingers paused in his hair. “I didn’t want to at first. And I probably won’t if something like that happens again.”

Astarion could have guessed as much. It was completely understandable after all that happened. Nevertheless, the words still stung.

“But after we talked and you gave me some time to think….” Cas shrugged and gave him a gentle smile. “I realized how much I enjoy our time together. I like you a lot and I have fun with you. I didn’t want to give up what we could have over one mistake.”

Something about her choice in words didn’t sit quite right with him. On one hand, she could be completely genuine and meant exactly what she said. Nothing more and nothing less. On the other hand, ‘spending time together’ and ‘having fun’ were euphemisms he frequently used for activities of a more carnal nature. Considering how most of the time they spent together ended with them doing things with their mouths other than talking ….

He tried to shake the thought. He couldn’t let his mind go down that path, no matter how badly it wanted to. Cas was different. No matter how many times the ghosts of his past told him that nothing had changed, he only had to look at the woman in front of him to know that wasn’t true.

If Cas only wanted him for his body, she wouldn’t have been so upset over what happened with the drow. Even though their conversations turned into something more, Cas was never the one to initiate it. He did. He initiated their first kiss, second, third… their first time together, their second… Even if she was the one to suggest the idea of him hunting her, he was the one to agree to it. Knowing what he knew about Cas, she wouldn’t have batted an eye if he had said no.

His mind drifted back to the night when she saved him from that monster hunter. Afterwards when they kissed and then he changed his mind. Cas didn’t push it, even though she was very into it.

Cas never pushed him into doing something he didn’t want to do.

But… he needed some reassurance, he realized. Between the passionate kisses at the party and him taking her in the woods like a wild beast, he just needed to hear that she still saw him for more than just a body to be used. That she saw a real person inside the vampiric husk of the man he once was.

“You like me that much?” he asked, his voice much smaller than he intended as he stroked her arm with a featherlight touch. “What do you like about me?”

Cas grinned at him. “Are you looking for a sincere answer or just flattery?”

“Sincerity, love,” Astarion said and leaned down to kiss her neck. Just to give himself a moment. A brief reprieve from the kindness and patience in her eyes. He wasn’t used to anyone looking at him the way she did, so just to keep the mood light he added, “Then you can flatter me all you like.”

She hummed as her hand traced along his spine, over the bumps and grooves of his scars, from his shoulder blades to the small of his back. But the touch didn’t feel sexual. It felt nice. Comforting even. “I’ll tell you only if you answer a question for me first. Deal?”

As if she had asked him to fold the laundry or some other boring chore, Astarion huffed. “I suppose it’s only fair,” he said.

Even with his agreement, there was a sense of anxiety radiating off of her. Anxiety that worked its way into his veins and made him nervous in turn. Not knowing what to do, he delicately nipped her neck, lavishing attention around the bite mark, everywhere he knew she liked. Partly as an attempt to soothe whatever worried her. But there was another part of him that said that the better he made her feel, the more likely it was she would give him the answer he hoped for.

“Ask me,” he whispered against her ear, his voice falling into the tone he so often used when he was seducing people.

A shiver went through her when he nibbled her earlobe. The peaks of her breasts brushed against his chest through the material of her shirt— his shirt — when she arched into him. “Is this all you want from me?” she asked, her voice barely audible over the sound of her pulse. “Sex?”

Astarion stopped. It seemed like the whole world went utterling silent as her words. He blinked twice as his brain caught up with what Cas had just said.

A laugh threatened to burst out of him, but he bit it back. It wasn’t because he found the question funny. That wasn’t the case at all. But because it never once occurred to him that she could be worried about the same things he was.

Cas had every right to be worried. After all, he had planned to use sex to manipulate her feelings for him in the first place. A plan that ultimately failed, considering how he got tangled up in his own trap, but the plan had existed nonetheless.

Placing his palms flat against the bedroll on either side of her head, Astarion hovered over her so he could see her face. There was a false smile on her lips as she tried her best to pretend she didn’t care about his answer, but he could hear her heart beating like a war drum. A tear glimmered in her eye before she quickly blinked it away.

“Is that what you want?” he replied, his voice tight despite how he tried to sound indifferent.

“Not really,” she said. “But if that’s what you want or if you don’t feel ready for anything more, it would be wrong to try to change your mind.” Cas averted her eyes as though it hurt to look at him, and in the quietest voice she added, “No matter how I feel.”

The answer shouldn’t have surprised him. For two centuries he was subjected to the whims of a cruel man. What he thought, what he wanted or what he felt never mattered. Obey or be punished. That was his entire existence. But Cas was giving him a choice. A choice he never could have fathomed only a few weeks ago.

Astarion rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and breathing in her scent. “What would ‘more’ look like?”

A single, nervous breath of laughter passed her lips. “I don’t know,” she said. “Going on fun dates. Or dates that go so terribly we can laugh about them years later. Doesn’t really matter as long as I get to spend time with you. I just want the chance to get to know you better, because I like what I know so far. You’re smart and sweet and so fucking funny I—” Cas shook her head as color darkened her cheeks. “I’m going to stop talking before I embarrass myself.”

“Oh no,” he protested as a smile, a real smile, snuck onto his lips. “Please go on about how wonderful I am. It’s great for my ego.”

It was amazing what just a little bit of reassurance did for him. Hearing the words from her lips melted away his fears for the time being, leaving only a vague sense of hope in their place. Cas liked him. Him. Not just his face or his body. Or the fact that he was a vampire because that apparently did it for some people.

Just him.

Centuries of being used, of being exploited and abused, screamed at him not to believe her. Told him there was no way she was telling the truth. That all of this was just another bizarre act of deception and cruelty.

But he didn’t need the tadpole to know she meant what she said. It was clear in her eyes. It was clear in every part of her. Everything she had done for him, from fighting for him and even fighting against him when appropriate. It was because she saw him as a person. Not a plaything, not just someone to be used and discarded. But someone worthwhile.

Astarion took her hand in his and pressed a lingering kiss to the inside of her wrist. “I don’t want this to be just about sex either, love,” he said, doing his best to hide the faint tremor in his voice. “I’ve had enough of that to last several lifetimes. I don’t want to be thought of in those terms, especially not by you.”

Something about her expression softened. Cas smiled at him, all warmth and adoration. “If anyone thinks of you that way, then they’re missing out on all the best parts of you.”

Those might have been the kindest words anyone had ever said to him. The words were like honey. Sticky and syrupy, making him vaguely uncomfortable, but also so sweet that he almost didn’t mind. Darkness at the back of his mind told him to wash it all away before he gave in and drank it all in.

After all, some of the most fatal poisons tasted deceptively sweet.

Words failed him. It wasn’t often he found himself not knowing what to say. He had a quip or a snappy comeback for just about everything. But all it took was a few kind words to leave him utterly speechless.

So instead of saying anything at all, he kissed her. He kissed her like she was the most precious thing in the world. His lips moved against his in a slow, silky caress. Different from any of the kisses they shared before. Less urgent. Something to be enjoyed for what it was rather than what it could lead to.

Cas’s fingers sunk into his hair and she kissed him back as if she were trying to breathe him in. Like he was someone to be cherished. Someone treasured. With no pressure for anything more.

They didn’t have sex again that night. They kissed between conversations about everything and nothing. They listened to the crickets and the sounds of the lazy river as they gazed at the stars that painted the perfect indigo sky. Cas pointed out some constellations, but since she didn’t know the names, they made some up.

One of the names he proposed (and the subsequent reasoning for the name) had Cas laughing so hard she started crying. He tucked the name away in his memory so he could remind her when she least expected it. Just to see her smile. Or maybe to make her laugh at an inappropriate time. Whatever suited the occasion.

As it turned out, Astarion had an interest in astronomy after all.

—

As much as Astarion loved the sun now that he could tolerate it, the morning light crested over the horizon far too soon, painting the dawn in shades of orange and pink. However, it was still nice to watch the sun rise without having to run for the nearest spot of darkness. What made it even nicer was Cas snuggling up next to him, her head against his shoulder and her legs tangled with his beneath a soft blanket.

For a while, he simply enjoyed the moment. Warm, comfortable, with his hunger for blood sated and a beautiful person who cared for him beside him. What more could he want? Beside getting rid of the tadpole and ensuring Cazador died a gruesome death, of course. Those pressing matters aside, he felt almost… happy.

It wasn’t too long before Cas stirred. She smiled at him as she bid him good morning, her eyes still a little tired and her hair a mess. It was cute. Endearing even. It was something he could see himself getting used to all too easily, starting his day with her.

Perhaps they could start sharing a tent.

But he was getting ahead of himself. There was far too much to do, far too much that could go wrong, before he could even entertain such ideas. For all he knew, they could both be mind flayers tomorrow. Or one of Cazador’s monster hunters would come and snatch him away.

So as much as he would like to, he couldn’t let himself get comfortable. It would only lead to disappointment.

Part of him wanted to sequester themselves away for a few more hours, but Cas needed breakfast and he needed to get back to the real world. But as they dressed and packed up the campsite, erasing any physical evidence of their night together save for the bite mark on Cas’s neck, Astarion tried to commit everything he could to memory. Just to have something wonderful to keep in the back of his mind for a rainy day.

Dried leaves and twigs crunched under their feet as they leisurely made their way back toward camp. They weren’t taking the most direct route, he realized, but he didn’t mind. Just a few more minutes for just the two of them.

Walking shoulder to shoulder, he felt calloused fingertips brush against his skin once, hesitating. As he glanced down he saw Cas's fingers loosely intertwine with his own.

“Is this okay?” she asked, her voice hushed as though not to disturb the stillness of the forest.

Astarion swallowed and held her hand a little tighter. “Of course, love,” he said just as quietly, down by his best to sound casual even as his heart felt like it would burst from a simple act of innocent affection. “So long as you recently washed your hands.”

She gave him a broad grin, as bright and brilliant as the morning itself. Gods, he never thought he would love seeing someone smile so much. Seeing her happy made him feel happy in turn. It was a foreign feeling, one that he didn’t completely understand but he was in no mood to contemplate.

Her thumb brushed over his as she gazed up at him, furrowing her brow as if she was unsure about something. “Define ‘recently.’”

“Oh, just in the last tenday,” he replied as if that were perfectly reasonable. “I’m not overly picky.”

Mischief glimmered in her eyes as she gave him her best sheepish smile. “You might want to let go of my hand then.”

“Never,” he said and pressed a kiss to the back of her very clean, washed-as-of-that-morning, hand.

Cas gave a girlish giggle, a short and sweet sound that he already wanted to draw from her again. If it was because of the joke or the gesture, he couldn’t tell. But it didn’t really matter either way. What mattered was that he was enjoying the moment with her.

He wanted to enjoy every moment he could get.

She had all but given herself to him entirely last night. Not because he tricked her or coerced her, but because she chose to. Because, for whatever reason, he made her happy. The gods had given him so few gifts, and he wasn’t about to question it.

After everything they talked about, after the time they spent together and the way she made him feel, he would fight tooth and nail to keep her. It meant that he had to kill Cazador. No matter what. It was the only way he could keep them both safe. The only way they might have something of a future together. For however long that could last.

With Cas, he could picture himself living again. Truly living. That was worth whatever perils that laid ahead of them.

All too soon, their campsite came into view, and one of the best nights of his life had officially come to an end. Astarion flexed his fingers around Cas’s, unsure if he should let go because of their proximity to camp. He didn’t know if Cas would be okay with their companions seeing them like this.

Even though they all knew that he and Cas had been intimate with one another, none of them seemed to be aware of the nature of their relationship. Hells, he barely knew what their status was. We’re they a couple? Dating? Some weird limbo between friends and lovers?

A sharp gasp from Cas pulled him from his thoughts, startling him. His head whipped towards her, trying to identify what had happened. To make sure she wasn’t hurt. But he only saw a smile spreading across her face as she stared straight ahead towards the camp.

He followed her gaze and almost swallowed his tongue. His entire body iced over in an instant. Time seemed to stand still and a high pitched ringing in his ears drowned out any other sounds.

Leaning against a tree at the edge of the campsite was a man Astarion had never met, but he immediately recognized.

A wood elf. Copper skin. Sharp facial features. Dark brown hair. Even darker brown eyes.

Eyes that went from Cas’s face, flickered to the bite mark on her neck, and trailed to where her hand intertwined with Astarion’s. Like an eagle locking onto his prey, the elf’s eyes finally landed on him.

And all Astarion could do was stare back as the Huntsman of Neverwinter approached.

---

Beginning

Previous Chapter

[theangstyboiblog]

Is it any surprise I’m on the Astarion rollercoaster now? 👀

[theangstyboiblog]

good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿

[theangstyboiblog]

When there are endless plot lines that have yet to be tied up and a TBB episode is only 26ish minutes on a good day…

Get ready to see some murder-angst-sadness-death-hopelessness y’all.

[theangstyboiblog]

if my blog ever convinced you to watch a tv series

you’re welcome

sorry

[theangstyboiblog]

Me: having a crisis over whether or not my cute co worker is flirting with me or not.

You guys: Where is the fan fiction?!

[theangstyboiblog]

Second day reblog for anyone that missed it last night! Have a great weekend!

Regret Part 12 | Echo x Jedi!Fem!Reader

Echo REGRET TABLE OF CONTENTS: Pt. One | Pt. Two | Pt. Three | Pt. Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven

Much needed Fluff! ... before the bad stuff happens

~~~~~~~

A year and a half of pining. A recent heartbreaking confession. Echo loves you – as more than friends, if that needs any clarification. It’s what you wanted for so long and now it’s real. So, now that you’re both on the same page, what’s the first thing you do?

You stay as fucking far away from him as you possibly can.

It’s barely been 12 hours since the batch finished up their last chip removal and you’ve avoided Echo ever since. Is it silly? Yes. Immature? Definitely. But there’s this stupid heat that burns your skin when you’re near him. Not that you’d never felt that before, but you could hide it. As a Jedi, you had to. When he’d rejected you, you had to.

Now, he knows. You know. At this point you’re pretty sure everyone knows if the looks Wrecker and Hunter and even Tech have given you. Which if you’re being honest, is really not helping things.

Force forbid you happen to be anywhere near him and he looks at you. You’d been helping Tech reset some breakers when you’d caught sight of Echo pausing in the doorway. Two seconds. That’s how long it took you to turn away in terror. Your chest felt like it would burst, your hands went all sweaty. You nearly dropped Tech’s data pad. Luckily you’d caught it before he noticed. You started to turn to shoot Echo a “Go away – no, wait, don’t leave,” look, but to your relief (and disappointment) he was gone.

“Ok, almost got it,” you mutter as you hang upside down, over a broken deck’s flooring.

Your legs lay against the cold tile as you let the rest of your body drop down into a gaping cut in the floor. It’s as if someone took a massive knife and cut through the ship from hull to center. There’s only a few feet between one sheered side and the other, but of course, it’s the last step to restoring power to bridge, which Tech tells you is, ‘of the utmost importance.’

You’ve worked your way through a mess of wires, torn metal and plastene. Finally, with all the debris out of the way you find what you’re looking for. Tech’s voice guides you impatiently through the work.

“The power converter should be connected to a blue wire—”

“I know what a power converter looks like, Tech,” you bite out. If you were upright, you wouldn’t be that annoyed, but there’s something digging into your shoulder blade and you don’t have time to listen to him explain the intricacies of electrical circuitry. Not today.

Reaching blindly, you wave your hand. “Welding spanner,” you call up, as your other hand deftly begins to work over the encapsulated box of circuits. Something heavy and round finds its way into your palm, followed by footsteps walking away. It takes a moment before your arm finds a way to bend without breaking.

You work quick and quiet. It’s an awkward position, but your hands seem to be moving in their own automatic dance. For the first time this morning, you’re delighted to have something new but still familiar to focus on. Mechanical, electrical puzzles. It’s a moment of reprieve. You’re not even listening to the goings on up above as you work to reconnect the junctions.

Then that moment of peace is broken.

“Y/N?” a voice calls from above and you immediately lurch. The only problem is, there’s not enough room.

“Echo -- ow!” you whisper-shout his name, but its interrupted by a thud that rings out as you bang your head. “Son of a –” you reach up blindly, trying to grab the broken panels and pull yourself up, but instead you end up flailing your arms. “Help,” you whine as your arms fall still.

“I got you,” Echo says and you can only listen as his footsteps grow closer. Your face burns as you realize you are literally ass up, and stuck with your head in the floor like some flightless bird on Kuak. A warm hand takes hold of your wrist and pulls. You rise up until you finally find purchase and grip the floor with your free hand.

“Thanks,” you say, shaking your arm out of his hold as you leave the hole in the floor. Your eyes focus on your shoes as you sit on your haunches, fixing your shirt and blindly combing your fingers through your hair. “Where’s Tech?” you mutter, when a glance around the room finds that the clone in question is nowhere to be found.

“Tech wandered off,” Echo tells you with a shrug.

“Of course, he did,” you mutter as you look down at your knees. Finally, you glance up as Echo kneels down and peers down at your handiwork. You look away when those brown eyes turn towards you. “I reconnected the junction here. I just need to reroute power through this panel system and we’ll be able to reconnect to the bridge systems.” Taking a deep breath, you glance at the console on the wall behind you.

“And here I thought you were avoiding me,” Echo murmurs. You turn back around, eyes wide. You expect a look of annoyance. But there isn’t any, and there’s no sadness in his aura. Instead, you zero in on that damn smirk that pulls at the corner of his mouth.

“I am not,” you mutter back before twisting around onto your hands and knees, pushing yourself up to stand.

You glance back at Echo as you fiddle with the hem of your shirt, hands dusting themselves off on your pants. He rises up, crossing his arms. You mirror his stance as the two of you enter a standoff. It goes on for nearly a minute before you finally tear your eyes away from his.

“I don’t like this,” you whisper before you glance at him, and find that his eyes are wide and his jaw slack. You gulp as he shifts from one foot to the other.

He speaks lowly. “I didn’t mean to make you upset, I just… After last night… If this isn’t – if I’m making you uncomfortable—"

“No,” you cut him off, shaking your head as you look up at him. “That’s not what I mean. Not even close.” Closing your eyes, you look down and sigh. “We’ve only been… us for what? Twelve hours?” Reaching up you pinch the bridge of your nose before you start to ramble. “And I-I just feel like all my brain wants to think about is you and I don’t know what to do with that because it’s out there now and I know we have bigger things to worry about but I’m honestly fighting to not follow you around like some lost loth cat begging for attention.”

“Heh,” a short and sweet laugh cascades off the hard metal floors and you open your eyes. A grin sits firmly on Echo’s face.

“Don’t laugh at me,” you tell him with a frown and that seems to only spur him on, as his shoulders begin to shake. Setting a hand on his hip, Echo bows his head and lets out another spurt of laughter before finally straightening up. That damn smile is still there. “It sounds ridiculous but it doesn’t feel funny to me,” you whisper.

The smile disappears.

“I’m sorry,” he says almost immediately, “I-I’m not laughing at you, well, not just you. I’m laughing at the both of us.”

“This is all new to me too, Y/N. You’re the first woman I’ve felt this way about – first love, first kiss, first everything,” he adds that last part slyly, almost under his breath as if he’s embarrassed to say it out loud. “All that means is we get to learn how this – how we work together.” Leaning forward he presses his lips to the side of your head. “And if you want to follow me around, I won’t complain. Kriff, I felt like I was following you – been trying to keep you within sight all day, but you kept running off the second we ever clapped eyes on each other.”

“I was embarrassed,” you admit after a moment of processing everything he’s just said. “I hid these feelings for so long and now they’re out in the open. It scares me.”

Echo’s lips pull up into a soft, lop-sided smile. “All that time pushing each other away – I  think we’ve both got it bad.”  Reaching up, he crooks his fingers so they nudge just under the edge of your chin. You’re reluctant but you look up at him. “It’s a big change, putting our feelings out in the open. Life changing if you think about it. But all I regret is the fact it took so long. All that time we were so scared to tell each other the truth. I don’t want to be scared of the fact that you know how I feel now – much less waste time terrified because we’re standing in the same room together.”

Heaving a sigh, you lean forward until your brow rests against his shoulder. “Do other people feel like this when they’re in love?” you murmur as Echo’s hand gently rubs up and down your spine. His chin rests on the crown of your head and you can hear him breathing as he thinks for a moment.

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly. “If they do, I don’t see how they get anything done cause I’m content to stay like this for the rest of the day if you’ll let me.”

It’s at that moment that a playful yell echoes down the hall and you lean back, hands rising up over the cool plastene of his breastplate. You both glance at the door and when he turns back to you, you raise an eyebrow.

“But will your brothers let us stay like this?” you ask, already knowing the answer. Before Echo can reply, a shadow steps up to the threshold. Omega looks up at the two of you with those big eyes of hers, a curious look on her face as Echo keeps his hand on your waist, despite the both of you turning to face her. It’s like he’s not ready to let you go yet.

“Did you need something?” Echo asks her lightly and Omega blinks.

Then she shrugs her shoulders and juts her thumb behind her. “Wrecker told me to tell you that he’s ready to go on that patrol and if you don’t hurry up we’re going to leave you behind,” she says in a rush, a bounce in her step as she starts to back out of the room. “He’s going to teach me how to disarm a bomb,” she says with an innocent smile. You and Echo share a look.

His hand starts to leave its spot on your waist. “I’ll –”

“We’ll be there in a minute,” you say, correcting him with a smirk as he stares at you. You look back at Omega as she hurries out of the room. “He’s not going to teach her with a real bomb, right?” you ask, turning back to Echo.

He’s staring at you. And you get to watch that little headshake he does when he’s pulled away from a thought. The softest smile blooms on his lips as he moves just a bit closer, arm snaking around your back again.

“It’ll be fine. Probably a smoke bomb or something. He’s not crazy. Not that much at least.” You wet your lips as you look up at him, a smile clear on your face. He narrows his eyes at you. “What are you thinking?” he asks, voice low.

“Will you kiss me?” you shoot back quickly, loving how it catches him by surprise. His eyebrows rise up, his eyes widen. His jaw goes slack.

Then he seems to gather himself up again. He feigns the hardest look he can manage. “First, you want to go on patrol with me. Now you want a kiss. Ma’am, I think you’re in love with me.”

You shrug your shoulders and let out a laugh. “Echo, if you don’t want to kiss me, you should probably get your hand off my ass.” You smile through pursed lips as he tilts his head and the heat of his palm moves lower behind you, pulling you closer. Then he leans forward, frowns and acts as though he’s peering over your shoulder.

“Is that where my hand went?” he says in your ear. Your laughter cascades off the metal panels along the walls for a single moment, before he turns and presses his lips to yours.

A/N

Did I say 2 more chapters? I meant a whole plotline.

@jordyn2424 (I don't know why this one isn't tagging sorry, I tried!)

@jediknightjana

[theangstyboiblog]

Tech: I may have trouble processing certain situations but even I know you fucked up, Y/N.

The Spy and Her Hunter | Part4

Description: After six months apart from a certain bad batcher, he comes to your rescue when your mission to steal data from the Empire goes wrong. Unfortunately, you’re not exactly happy to see each other.

Warnings: 18+, Future smut, Language, Angst!

Table of Contents: Part One, Part two, Part Three

Ord Mantell… it’s been awhile. It’s still an impatient city. And you’re still an impatient woman.

Hunter had barely spoken a word to you since you’d landed.

“Wait here,” was all he’d said before jogging down the steps with Echo, Omega and Wrecker following close behind. You considered leaving as they disappeared out of sight. You could find much less… complicated transport somewhere else.

“I assume you are still proficient with a hydrospanner?” Tech’s voice asks behind you and you grit your teeth, biting back a sigh. You twist around finding him walking towards you, though he seems more focused on the data pad in his hand.

Lifting an eyebrow, you watch him for a moment before turning back to the door. “Hunter left you to make sure I didn’t steal the ship, didn’t he?”

“The odds of success would be stacked against you as you would have to break through three layers of encryption to take over the flight controls,” Tech informs you then adds, “Hunter’s exact words were, ‘don’t let her run off.’” You shake your head and lean against the doorway. “They will return soon. In the meantime, I have several calibrations and minor repairs to make. You may join me if you wish.”

 A shadow moves out of the corner of your eye and you shift as Tech moves past you, out the door. Out of everyone, you hadn’t thought he would be the one offering you an out. It would be easy to follow after him in silence, crawl under the ship and let your hands set to work checking the hydraulics and electrical systems. You were still proficient when it came to handling a spanner. Neither of you would have to say anything beyond your individual projects.

But that thought gnawing at the back of your mind would never go away. It would still be there. Better to get it out now, to ask.

“Hunter…” you take a breath as Tech reaches the ground. He glances back at you, your mouth held open as your brain tries to process what it wants to say. How are you even supposed to ask this without sounding like a complete asshole? So you phrase it in a way where it’s not clear, where you’re giving the answer in the question. That way you might avoid hearing what you don’t want to hear. “He’s good, right? I-I mean he seems okay—”

“I am not sure what you’re asking, Y/N,” Tech says quickly. He twists around and cuts his eyes up at you, sunlight glinting off his goggles. He shakes his head and sighs. “He normally keeps things to himself. This was no different. But emotionally… your leaving created a wound that refuses to heal. Even when we all understand why you left—you lied to him.” He turns to the side, his gaze leaving yours and you feel it like a punch to the gut. “And the second Rex told us you were in trouble, it was all Hunter could do to get to you. So, instead of trying to quell whatever guilt you are feeling, perhaps you should consider facing it before you hurt my brother again.”  

Your mouth has long since gone dry. It’s a harsh breath before you swallow and clear your throat, ignoring the way your eyes are beginning to sting with tears.

“I never wanted to hurt him,” you breathe out finally. “Or any of you.”

Tech nods, biting his tongue before he glances back up at you. “I believe that. What you lost was unimaginable. Losing you though… things have changed.” Looking down, Tech kicks the bottom step lightly with the toe of his boot. “I assume you know that already however.”

“I do,” you answer, crossing your arms over your chest as Tech faces you again. “But I can’t stay and try to fix it. Not yet at least.”

“You make it sound as though you intended to come back all along.”

You let out a soft laugh, a sad smile on your face as you look down at him. “Tech, do you think about what your life might look like in five years? Ten?”

“Clone life expectancy is short,” he tells you nonchalantly and you try to hide the wince that runs through you at that little reminder.

“Hmm,” you nod before clicking your tongue. You glance up at the top of the hanger, the last of the day’s light glinting off the metal rim. “Hunter is the only family I have left. This mission – it’s almost over. And when it’s done, when I’m done… I will beg him to take me back, to forgive me, to trust me again. But not one blasted second before. I can’t stop. I won’t. Not even for him.”

The knife in your chest twists as Tech stares up at you. There’s pity in that look. An empathetic sadness. Adjusting his goggles with one hand, he slowly starts to turn away, gaze falling back to his data pad.

“I have repairs to get to,” he says, leaving you at the top of the steps, shadows descending as the Ord Mantell sun goes down for the night.

A/N:

Short chapter because I needed a transition to get to our next part.

You know it’s bad when Tech is the one chastising you for emotional mistakes. Also I realized today that I have always written OCs who get their hearts broken by the guy. I've never written an OC breaking the guy's heart and I'm kinda loving it? Poor Hunter. I know. I'm evil.

[theangstyboiblog]

Regret Part 12 | Echo x Jedi!Fem!Reader

Echo REGRET TABLE OF CONTENTS: Pt. One | Pt. Two | Pt. Three | Pt. Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven

Much needed Fluff! ... before the bad stuff happens

~~~~~~~

A year and a half of pining. A recent heartbreaking confession. Echo loves you – as more than friends, if that needs any clarification. It’s what you wanted for so long and now it’s real. So, now that you’re both on the same page, what’s the first thing you do?

You stay as fucking far away from him as you possibly can.

It’s barely been 12 hours since the batch finished up their last chip removal and you’ve avoided Echo ever since. Is it silly? Yes. Immature? Definitely. But there’s this stupid heat that burns your skin when you’re near him. Not that you’d never felt that before, but you could hide it. As a Jedi, you had to. When he’d rejected you, you had to.

Now, he knows. You know. At this point you’re pretty sure everyone knows if the looks Wrecker and Hunter and even Tech have given you. Which if you’re being honest, is really not helping things.

Force forbid you happen to be anywhere near him and he looks at you. You’d been helping Tech reset some breakers when you’d caught sight of Echo pausing in the doorway. Two seconds. That’s how long it took you to turn away in terror. Your chest felt like it would burst, your hands went all sweaty. You nearly dropped Tech’s data pad. Luckily you’d caught it before he noticed. You started to turn to shoot Echo a “Go away – no, wait, don’t leave,” look, but to your relief (and disappointment) he was gone.

“Ok, almost got it,” you mutter as you hang upside down, over a broken deck’s flooring.

Your legs lay against the cold tile as you let the rest of your body drop down into a gaping cut in the floor. It’s as if someone took a massive knife and cut through the ship from hull to center. There’s only a few feet between one sheered side and the other, but of course, it’s the last step to restoring power to bridge, which Tech tells you is, ‘of the utmost importance.’

You’ve worked your way through a mess of wires, torn metal and plastene. Finally, with all the debris out of the way you find what you’re looking for. Tech’s voice guides you impatiently through the work.

“The power converter should be connected to a blue wire—”

“I know what a power converter looks like, Tech,” you bite out. If you were upright, you wouldn’t be that annoyed, but there’s something digging into your shoulder blade and you don’t have time to listen to him explain the intricacies of electrical circuitry. Not today.

Reaching blindly, you wave your hand. “Welding spanner,” you call up, as your other hand deftly begins to work over the encapsulated box of circuits. Something heavy and round finds its way into your palm, followed by footsteps walking away. It takes a moment before your arm finds a way to bend without breaking.

You work quick and quiet. It’s an awkward position, but your hands seem to be moving in their own automatic dance. For the first time this morning, you’re delighted to have something new but still familiar to focus on. Mechanical, electrical puzzles. It’s a moment of reprieve. You’re not even listening to the goings on up above as you work to reconnect the junctions.

Then that moment of peace is broken.

“Y/N?” a voice calls from above and you immediately lurch. The only problem is, there’s not enough room.

“Echo -- ow!” you whisper-shout his name, but its interrupted by a thud that rings out as you bang your head. “Son of a –” you reach up blindly, trying to grab the broken panels and pull yourself up, but instead you end up flailing your arms. “Help,” you whine as your arms fall still.

“I got you,” Echo says and you can only listen as his footsteps grow closer. Your face burns as you realize you are literally ass up, and stuck with your head in the floor like some flightless bird on Kuak. A warm hand takes hold of your wrist and pulls. You rise up until you finally find purchase and grip the floor with your free hand.

“Thanks,” you say, shaking your arm out of his hold as you leave the hole in the floor. Your eyes focus on your shoes as you sit on your haunches, fixing your shirt and blindly combing your fingers through your hair. “Where’s Tech?” you mutter, when a glance around the room finds that the clone in question is nowhere to be found.

“Tech wandered off,” Echo tells you with a shrug.

“Of course, he did,” you mutter as you look down at your knees. Finally, you glance up as Echo kneels down and peers down at your handiwork. You look away when those brown eyes turn towards you. “I reconnected the junction here. I just need to reroute power through this panel system and we’ll be able to reconnect to the bridge systems.” Taking a deep breath, you glance at the console on the wall behind you.

“And here I thought you were avoiding me,” Echo murmurs. You turn back around, eyes wide. You expect a look of annoyance. But there isn’t any, and there’s no sadness in his aura. Instead, you zero in on that damn smirk that pulls at the corner of his mouth.

“I am not,” you mutter back before twisting around onto your hands and knees, pushing yourself up to stand.

You glance back at Echo as you fiddle with the hem of your shirt, hands dusting themselves off on your pants. He rises up, crossing his arms. You mirror his stance as the two of you enter a standoff. It goes on for nearly a minute before you finally tear your eyes away from his.

“I don’t like this,” you whisper before you glance at him, and find that his eyes are wide and his jaw slack. You gulp as he shifts from one foot to the other.

He speaks lowly. “I didn’t mean to make you upset, I just… After last night… If this isn’t – if I’m making you uncomfortable—"

“No,” you cut him off, shaking your head as you look up at him. “That’s not what I mean. Not even close.” Closing your eyes, you look down and sigh. “We’ve only been… us for what? Twelve hours?” Reaching up you pinch the bridge of your nose before you start to ramble. “And I-I just feel like all my brain wants to think about is you and I don’t know what to do with that because it’s out there now and I know we have bigger things to worry about but I’m honestly fighting to not follow you around like some lost loth cat begging for attention.”

“Heh,” a short and sweet laugh cascades off the hard metal floors and you open your eyes. A grin sits firmly on Echo’s face.

“Don’t laugh at me,” you tell him with a frown and that seems to only spur him on, as his shoulders begin to shake. Setting a hand on his hip, Echo bows his head and lets out another spurt of laughter before finally straightening up. That damn smile is still there. “It sounds ridiculous but it doesn’t feel funny to me,” you whisper.

The smile disappears.

“I’m sorry,” he says almost immediately, “I-I’m not laughing at you, well, not just you. I’m laughing at the both of us.”

“This is all new to me too, Y/N. You’re the first woman I’ve felt this way about – first love, first kiss, first everything,” he adds that last part slyly, almost under his breath as if he’s embarrassed to say it out loud. “All that means is we get to learn how this – how we work together.” Leaning forward he presses his lips to the side of your head. “And if you want to follow me around, I won’t complain. Kriff, I felt like I was following you – been trying to keep you within sight all day, but you kept running off the second we ever clapped eyes on each other.”

“I was embarrassed,” you admit after a moment of processing everything he’s just said. “I hid these feelings for so long and now they’re out in the open. It scares me.”

Echo’s lips pull up into a soft, lop-sided smile. “All that time pushing each other away – I  think we’ve both got it bad.”  Reaching up, he crooks his fingers so they nudge just under the edge of your chin. You’re reluctant but you look up at him. “It’s a big change, putting our feelings out in the open. Life changing if you think about it. But all I regret is the fact it took so long. All that time we were so scared to tell each other the truth. I don’t want to be scared of the fact that you know how I feel now – much less waste time terrified because we’re standing in the same room together.”

Heaving a sigh, you lean forward until your brow rests against his shoulder. “Do other people feel like this when they’re in love?” you murmur as Echo’s hand gently rubs up and down your spine. His chin rests on the crown of your head and you can hear him breathing as he thinks for a moment.

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly. “If they do, I don’t see how they get anything done cause I’m content to stay like this for the rest of the day if you’ll let me.”

It’s at that moment that a playful yell echoes down the hall and you lean back, hands rising up over the cool plastene of his breastplate. You both glance at the door and when he turns back to you, you raise an eyebrow.

“But will your brothers let us stay like this?” you ask, already knowing the answer. Before Echo can reply, a shadow steps up to the threshold. Omega looks up at the two of you with those big eyes of hers, a curious look on her face as Echo keeps his hand on your waist, despite the both of you turning to face her. It’s like he’s not ready to let you go yet.

“Did you need something?” Echo asks her lightly and Omega blinks.

Then she shrugs her shoulders and juts her thumb behind her. “Wrecker told me to tell you that he’s ready to go on that patrol and if you don’t hurry up we’re going to leave you behind,” she says in a rush, a bounce in her step as she starts to back out of the room. “He’s going to teach me how to disarm a bomb,” she says with an innocent smile. You and Echo share a look.

His hand starts to leave its spot on your waist. “I’ll –”

“We’ll be there in a minute,” you say, correcting him with a smirk as he stares at you. You look back at Omega as she hurries out of the room. “He’s not going to teach her with a real bomb, right?” you ask, turning back to Echo.

He’s staring at you. And you get to watch that little headshake he does when he’s pulled away from a thought. The softest smile blooms on his lips as he moves just a bit closer, arm snaking around your back again.

“It’ll be fine. Probably a smoke bomb or something. He’s not crazy. Not that much at least.” You wet your lips as you look up at him, a smile clear on your face. He narrows his eyes at you. “What are you thinking?” he asks, voice low.

“Will you kiss me?” you shoot back quickly, loving how it catches him by surprise. His eyebrows rise up, his eyes widen. His jaw goes slack.

Then he seems to gather himself up again. He feigns the hardest look he can manage. “First, you want to go on patrol with me. Now you want a kiss. Ma’am, I think you’re in love with me.”

You shrug your shoulders and let out a laugh. “Echo, if you don’t want to kiss me, you should probably get your hand off my ass.” You smile through pursed lips as he tilts his head and the heat of his palm moves lower behind you, pulling you closer. Then he leans forward, frowns and acts as though he’s peering over your shoulder.

“Is that where my hand went?” he says in your ear. Your laughter cascades off the metal panels along the walls for a single moment, before he turns and presses his lips to yours.

A/N

Did I say 2 more chapters? I meant a whole plotline.

@jordyn2424 (I don't know why this one isn't tagging sorry, I tried!)

@jediknightjana

[theangstyboiblog]

[Star Wars: Bad Batch ⚠️SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2⚠️]

Too long without mom makes for an unhappy squad.

[theangstyboiblog]

My friend and I routinely send each other this sound bite and this whole thing is just top notch humor. I am cackling. You did great!

When echo turns his comm back on☠️

(This is my first time doing these if it looks weird I'm sorrY)

[theangstyboiblog]

The Spy and Her Hunter WIP Update

So this chapter is only almost halfway done but I just wrote this and like when I write I just write what I think the natural progression of a conversation would follow depending on the participants relationships and this just:

A hand grabs Hunter's shoulder and pulls him back around. “I’ll handle Cid,” Echo tells him firmly. Hunter glances down at the hand on his shoulder. After a second it falls away and his brother steps around him. “Go talk to your wife.”

Hunter sighs. “She won’t listen.”

Echo turns his back and waves him off. “Then lock yourselves in the Marauder and make her listen.”

~~~~

The temptation to write smut just based on that last line from Echo is strong tonight. What should I do, y'all?

[theangstyboiblog]

Gotta love the fact that Echo has been gone for all of five minutes and…

They’ve already lost the ship

Yelled at each other

Nearly died five times

And got marooned on a planet that is trying to kill them.

Chef’s kiss, Filoni. Chef’s kiss.

[theangstyboiblog]

This man deserves so much love…

[theangstyboiblog]

The Spy and Her Hunter | Part4

Description: After six months apart from a certain bad batcher, he comes to your rescue when your mission to steal data from the Empire goes wrong. Unfortunately, you’re not exactly happy to see each other.

Warnings: 18+, Future smut, Language, Angst!

Table of Contents: Part One, Part two, Part Three

Ord Mantell… it’s been awhile. It’s still an impatient city. And you’re still an impatient woman.

Hunter had barely spoken a word to you since you’d landed.

“Wait here,” was all he’d said before jogging down the steps with Echo, Omega and Wrecker following close behind. You considered leaving as they disappeared out of sight. You could find much less… complicated transport somewhere else.

“I assume you are still proficient with a hydrospanner?” Tech’s voice asks behind you and you grit your teeth, biting back a sigh. You twist around finding him walking towards you, though he seems more focused on the data pad in his hand.

Lifting an eyebrow, you watch him for a moment before turning back to the door. “Hunter left you to make sure I didn’t steal the ship, didn’t he?”

“The odds of success would be stacked against you as you would have to break through three layers of encryption to take over the flight controls,” Tech informs you then adds, “Hunter’s exact words were, ‘don’t let her run off.’” You shake your head and lean against the doorway. “They will return soon. In the meantime, I have several calibrations and minor repairs to make. You may join me if you wish.”

 A shadow moves out of the corner of your eye and you shift as Tech moves past you, out the door. Out of everyone, you hadn’t thought he would be the one offering you an out. It would be easy to follow after him in silence, crawl under the ship and let your hands set to work checking the hydraulics and electrical systems. You were still proficient when it came to handling a spanner. Neither of you would have to say anything beyond your individual projects.

But that thought gnawing at the back of your mind would never go away. It would still be there. Better to get it out now, to ask.

“Hunter…” you take a breath as Tech reaches the ground. He glances back at you, your mouth held open as your brain tries to process what it wants to say. How are you even supposed to ask this without sounding like a complete asshole? So you phrase it in a way where it’s not clear, where you’re giving the answer in the question. That way you might avoid hearing what you don’t want to hear. “He’s good, right? I-I mean he seems okay—”

“I am not sure what you’re asking, Y/N,” Tech says quickly. He twists around and cuts his eyes up at you, sunlight glinting off his goggles. He shakes his head and sighs. “He normally keeps things to himself. This was no different. But emotionally… your leaving created a wound that refuses to heal. Even when we all understand why you left—you lied to him.” He turns to the side, his gaze leaving yours and you feel it like a punch to the gut. “And the second Rex told us you were in trouble, it was all Hunter could do to get to you. So, instead of trying to quell whatever guilt you are feeling, perhaps you should consider facing it before you hurt my brother again.”  

Your mouth has long since gone dry. It’s a harsh breath before you swallow and clear your throat, ignoring the way your eyes are beginning to sting with tears.

“I never wanted to hurt him,” you breathe out finally. “Or any of you.”

Tech nods, biting his tongue before he glances back up at you. “I believe that. What you lost was unimaginable. Losing you though… things have changed.” Looking down, Tech kicks the bottom step lightly with the toe of his boot. “I assume you know that already however.”

“I do,” you answer, crossing your arms over your chest as Tech faces you again. “But I can’t stay and try to fix it. Not yet at least.”

“You make it sound as though you intended to come back all along.”

You let out a soft laugh, a sad smile on your face as you look down at him. “Tech, do you think about what your life might look like in five years? Ten?”

“Clone life expectancy is short,” he tells you nonchalantly and you try to hide the wince that runs through you at that little reminder.

“Hmm,” you nod before clicking your tongue. You glance up at the top of the hanger, the last of the day’s light glinting off the metal rim. “Hunter is the only family I have left. This mission – it’s almost over. And when it’s done, when I’m done… I will beg him to take me back, to forgive me, to trust me again. But not one blasted second before. I can’t stop. I won’t. Not even for him.”

The knife in your chest twists as Tech stares up at you. There’s pity in that look. An empathetic sadness. Adjusting his goggles with one hand, he slowly starts to turn away, gaze falling back to his data pad.

“I have repairs to get to,” he says, leaving you at the top of the steps, shadows descending as the Ord Mantell sun goes down for the night.

A/N:

Short chapter because I needed a transition to get to our next part.

You know it’s bad when Tech is the one chastising you for emotional mistakes. Also I realized today that I have always written OCs who get their hearts broken by the guy. I've never written an OC breaking the guy's heart and I'm kinda loving it? Poor Hunter. I know. I'm evil.

[theangstyboiblog]

The Spy and Her Hunter | Part4

Description: After six months apart from a certain bad batcher, he comes to your rescue when your mission to steal data from the Empire goes wrong. Unfortunately, you’re not exactly happy to see each other.

Warnings: 18+, Future smut, Language, Angst!

Table of Contents: Part One, Part two, Part Three

Ord Mantell… it’s been awhile. It’s still an impatient city. And you’re still an impatient woman.

Hunter had barely spoken a word to you since you’d landed.

“Wait here,” was all he’d said before jogging down the steps with Echo, Omega and Wrecker following close behind. You considered leaving as they disappeared out of sight. You could find much less… complicated transport somewhere else.

“I assume you are still proficient with a hydrospanner?” Tech’s voice asks behind you and you grit your teeth, biting back a sigh. You twist around finding him walking towards you, though he seems more focused on the data pad in his hand.

Lifting an eyebrow, you watch him for a moment before turning back to the door. “Hunter left you to make sure I didn’t steal the ship, didn’t he?”

“The odds of success would be stacked against you as you would have to break through three layers of encryption to take over the flight controls,” Tech informs you then adds, “Hunter’s exact words were, ‘don’t let her run off.’” You shake your head and lean against the doorway. “They will return soon. In the meantime, I have several calibrations and minor repairs to make. You may join me if you wish.”

 A shadow moves out of the corner of your eye and you shift as Tech moves past you, out the door. Out of everyone, you hadn’t thought he would be the one offering you an out. It would be easy to follow after him in silence, crawl under the ship and let your hands set to work checking the hydraulics and electrical systems. You were still proficient when it came to handling a spanner. Neither of you would have to say anything beyond your individual projects.

But that thought gnawing at the back of your mind would never go away. It would still be there. Better to get it out now, to ask.

“Hunter…” you take a breath as Tech reaches the ground. He glances back at you, your mouth held open as your brain tries to process what it wants to say. How are you even supposed to ask this without sounding like a complete asshole? So you phrase it in a way where it’s not clear, where you’re giving the answer in the question. That way you might avoid hearing what you don’t want to hear. “He’s good, right? I-I mean he seems okay—”

“I am not sure what you’re asking, Y/N,” Tech says quickly. He twists around and cuts his eyes up at you, sunlight glinting off his goggles. He shakes his head and sighs. “He normally keeps things to himself. This was no different. But emotionally… your leaving created a wound that refuses to heal. Even when we all understand why you left—you lied to him.” He turns to the side, his gaze leaving yours and you feel it like a punch to the gut. “And the second Rex told us you were in trouble, it was all Hunter could do to get to you. So, instead of trying to quell whatever guilt you are feeling, perhaps you should consider facing it before you hurt my brother again.”  

Your mouth has long since gone dry. It’s a harsh breath before you swallow and clear your throat, ignoring the way your eyes are beginning to sting with tears.

“I never wanted to hurt him,” you breathe out finally. “Or any of you.”

Tech nods, biting his tongue before he glances back up at you. “I believe that. What you lost was unimaginable. Losing you though… things have changed.” Looking down, Tech kicks the bottom step lightly with the toe of his boot. “I assume you know that already however.”

“I do,” you answer, crossing your arms over your chest as Tech faces you again. “But I can’t stay and try to fix it. Not yet at least.”

“You make it sound as though you intended to come back all along.”

You let out a soft laugh, a sad smile on your face as you look down at him. “Tech, do you think about what your life might look like in five years? Ten?”

“Clone life expectancy is short,” he tells you nonchalantly and you try to hide the wince that runs through you at that little reminder.

“Hmm,” you nod before clicking your tongue. You glance up at the top of the hanger, the last of the day’s light glinting off the metal rim. “Hunter is the only family I have left. This mission – it’s almost over. And when it’s done, when I’m done… I will beg him to take me back, to forgive me, to trust me again. But not one blasted second before. I can’t stop. I won’t. Not even for him.”

The knife in your chest twists as Tech stares up at you. There’s pity in that look. An empathetic sadness. Adjusting his goggles with one hand, he slowly starts to turn away, gaze falling back to his data pad.

“I have repairs to get to,” he says, leaving you at the top of the steps, shadows descending as the Ord Mantell sun goes down for the night.

A/N:

Short chapter because I needed a transition to get to our next part.

You know it’s bad when Tech is the one chastising you for emotional mistakes. Also I realized today that I have always written OCs who get their hearts broken by the guy. I've never written an OC breaking the guy's heart and I'm kinda loving it? Poor Hunter. I know. I'm evil.

[theangstyboiblog]

Just when I get into a clone another one comes back to haunt me.

I’m looking at you Rex.