thecatofnumbers

[thecatofnumbers]

I've been collecting these for a few weeks and I NEED MORE

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[thecatofnumbers]

I was not meant to be an adult I was meant to die under mysterious circumstances before the events of the story and haunt the narrative

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girls don't want flowers, girls want biomechanical arms that open and vent steam in a loud hiss whenever they're doing heavy lifting

[thecatofnumbers]

Metal Powder

I WANT IT IN MY LUNGS!

I WANT IT IN MY LUNGS!

I WANT IT IN MY LUNGS!

I WANT IT IN MY LUNGS!

I WANT IT IN MY LUNGS!

I WANT IT IN MY LUNGS!

I WANT IT IN MY LUNGS!

I WANT IT IN MY LUNGS!

I want to scoop it like protein powder, put it in a smoothie and drink it.

It is so fine and soft through my latex gloves, but metal???

I want to experience it in new ways, but completely unreasonable "safety regulations" mean I have to wear a respirator around it at all times specifically denying my one true desire in life.

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[thecatofnumbers]

How to instantly relax your uzi, a guide by N

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you're scrolling tumblr!! *kisses ur forehead* *kisses ur forehead* *kisses ur forehead* *kisses ur forehead* *kisses ur forehead*

[thecatofnumbers]

Will Wood: 0/10. I have never heard of the verb wood so I highly doubt this man will wood.

Will Wood and the Tapeworms: ?/10 See will wood, tapeworm status of the members unknown.

Haley Heynderickx: 10/10. Yep, thats her name.

Ghost and Pals: 5/10. They are still alive. Many collaborations so points for pals.

Charly Bliss: 4/10. No charlys present in the band. I will give them the benefit of the doubt on there state of bliss.

Slotface: 8/10. Those are more commonly referred to as mouths.

Bleached: 7/10. Many members have dyed hair which would have to have first been bleached.

The Linda Lindas: 0/10. No Lindas.

The Beths: 2.5/20. One beth out of four members.

Gregory and the Hawk: 0/10. No Gregory and no hawk.

egg: 0/10. Appears to be human.

Sincere Engineer: 0/10 I was not able to verify if Deanna Belos holds an ABET-accredited engineering degree. The song Overbite alludes to her pursuing a dental degree giving some evidence to deception.

Jhariah, Penelope Scott, Mitski, Alex Lahey, Sidney Gish, Taylor Swift, Helena Ruth, Dmitri Shostakovich, Chopin: 10/10. Yep, those are their names.

Franz Ferdinand: 0/10. Archduke Franz Ferdinand died 28th june 1914, so is likely not making music.

Pinkshift: 0/10. No observable color shift in any of their music videos.

Thao and the get down stay downs: 7/10. Thao is definitely there.

we are dirt: 5/10. Their current state is flesh. Points for the dirt -> plant -> flesh -> dirt cycle.

Rating band names based on their accuracy:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

The Beatles: 0/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts

Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink

Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like

Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it

The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to

Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury

Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams

The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few

U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band

Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”

Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot

Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music

Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location

Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes

The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho

Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago

Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used

Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho

The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location

The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate

Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.

Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go

Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green

The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band

KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes

The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me

We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable

They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants

The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two

Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit

The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not

The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring

Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic

Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that

Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar

Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew

Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole

Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that

Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go

The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate

Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long

Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking

The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit

Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head

Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful

Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden

Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out

Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk

The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list

The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot

[thecatofnumbers]

DANGGGG

[thecatofnumbers]

"The most accurate Blitzo I've ever seen" - Viv

[thecatofnumbers]

Like yes I love living for simple pleasure and I understand happiness comes from others but that will not stop me from looking in the mirror and wanting to be hit by a semi

[thecatofnumbers]

I was not meant to be an adult I was meant to die under mysterious circumstances before the events of the story and haunt the narrative

[thecatofnumbers]

i would have played pretend on the playground with all of u btw

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heard that guy doesn't think decay is a form of life. let's kill him

[thecatofnumbers]

💥🔥GENOCIDE🔥💥

Cylly