thecoolerdaikyo - Tumblr blog

[thecoolerdaikyo]

you have to have a high iq to understand the message of billionsurprisetoys. im just the interpreter 

[thecoolerdaikyo]

well yeah. where else are you gonna hear about the depth of johny johny lore 

[thecoolerdaikyo]

KNIFE SQUAD RISE UP 

[thecoolerdaikyo]

nah

[thecoolerdaikyo]

i bet you could cut him up and he’d come out fine. go find out stabs. go find out. 

[thecoolerdaikyo]

choo choo motherfucker its your motherfuckin birthday 

[thecoolerdaikyo]

PINK BITCH

[thecoolerdaikyo]

Say this with me. Manifest it. Make it real. “I am not harmed by fire or explosives.” Say that outloud. Remember it. The only thing that’s stopping you is your own head. Never stop grinding.

[thecoolerdaikyo]

[thecoolerdaikyo]

My boyfriend just sent me this agdkshdja!!!!!

[thecoolerdaikyo]

im sorry

[thecoolerdaikyo]

I had to…

(I’m aware there are more characters and family members in the ever so extensive Johny universe, but I wanted to focus on these four.)

[thecoolerdaikyo]

OH i forgot to post this absolutely awful image

[thecoolerdaikyo]

johny johny and my superhuman conspiracy

billion dollar toys started off in 2017 with these lovely two. dolly and johnys proto bro. keep in mind the refrigeration is not sentient at this point

in a bath song, it is revealed johny johny and proto johnny exist simultaneously.

however. there is only one johnny johnny

in the beginning, johnny johnny’s mom had quintuplets. they performed the usual jumping on the bed routine, but all “5 baby videos” occur before this point. the explanation for this is that the doctor committed malpractice by allowing the babies to sleep after a head injury, and 4 babies died of concussions, leaving behind johnny johnny himself. the fact that johny;s mom is a doctor explains what happened to the town medical facility after the previous doc was arrested.

one of the most alarming things about these videos is that proportioning is extremely off

one may chalk this up to poor insight on model creation but i beg to differ:

one, if not all of the large children are strong enough to do multiple pull ups on gym bars

johnny johnny himself has gave things sentience multiple times, such as franko the gorilla

and most likely the ice cream man and refrigerator.

dolly is prescribed by mom “healthy growth” pills much too large for any ordinary baby’s mouth.

johnny johnny cannot eat outside of very specific dietary requirements, and daddy forbids him to eat in the mornings

and a class full of diverse kids like him, being taught to obey their creators (mommy and daddy)

what im getting to here is that johny johny is a superhuman baby. After johhny’s numerous brothers died, mommy couldnt take the grief and attempted to experiment with johnny johnny to ensure that no matter what, he could not die. after finding a treatment plan that ensures the healthiest lifestyle for him, she applies it to other children outside the study. all of them have the same increased growth side effect from whatever she treats them with.

but thats just a theory, a GAME T-

[thecoolerdaikyo]

its not june anymore dude theres no more knife memes

[thecoolerdaikyo]

our next story begins with johny’s grotesque body on full display. has this come from years of poor food choices? I am now convinced that johny is a being artificially created by papa since his three heirs (chiya, dolly, and the child that is now refrigerator man) refused to conform to his ways. by the way... where is dolly? she has been absent from this video so far... has she also been transformed into a refrigerator? 

[thecoolerdaikyo]

karma’s a bitch isn’t it johny