thehighhighlightlife

[thehighhighlightlife]

July 19, 2020

This was a really good week! Jeff came to visit me on his road trip back home to new york. He is a special friend, someone who I know I can rely on and cares so deeply. I know he really believes in me and that feels so good. I know mom loved him too. We had so much fun that day going to the pool, driving to Boulder, picking up moms car at bmw, then going to TJ’s, getting salads, seeing Daniel and then going up Flagstaff to catch the end of the day! It reminds me to not get so caught up in my own world and that there’s so much to be seen, lived and experienced. 

I decided that I am going to put out my song can i come home? on aug 14 my half birthday!!! it feels right. The remixer (tropicrafael) sent me the demo for the drop today and oh. my. GOSH! I literally was jumping up and down DANCING! It was the happiest I have ever been. There’s something that is so so so true and real about taking the morning to get into the vortex of feeling just so good and happy. I listened to some louise hay meditations, did an hour of emma’s yoga class, meditated for about 10 ish minutes, made blueberry pancakes, talked to denise for about an hour about the voices she hears in her head lol. and wowza. it changes EVERYTHING. I felt myself getting so burnt out at the end of last week and I am fully realizing HOW truly VITAL it is for me to ground myself during the day. Which the best are running, appreciation lists, talking to a friend, being in nature, listening to music. These are KEY to always feeling better, its just about managing work/rest balance. 

But right now I really am loving my life. I spent 3 hours at the lake yesterday talking to manon, I saved a beautiful yellow butterfly who was caught in the water, and rejuvinated myself. I think it’s really important for me and mom to take breaks now that we live with each other again. Gosh I would LOVE to get out and move to LA but I also don’t have a steady income so it just makes sense to be here now and not blow my $ on rent. I really do miss living on my own though. You really don’t know what you have until its gone I guess. But I really don’t miss my day job. I’d rather live here and go through the short term less than ideal living situation, then just pour out money in LA. But I am thinking of spending about 2 months there the way I did in Berlin. Finding producers to work with and just live. The pandemic makes it all a little trickier but I am choosing to see it all working out in my favor. I’m so so thankful to be making unemployment !!! Trusting, trusting, trusting, trusting. All of this investment into my career will pay off. 

[thehighhighlightlife]

June 14, 2020

Wow. Wow. Wow. There is so much bubbling and happening ALL AT ONCE! So many insane synchronicities. 

I started having second guesses on signing the deal, realizing that I’m creating so much on my own and I wouldn’t have to give up half of my earnings just to say that I am signed. But that is still so super appealing to me. I can’t help it. I feel like it will open many more doors on its own and give me way more of an edge in the music industry. And as shallow as it sounds, being able to tell people what I do it will be helpful to add that in there :) 

I watched Journey to Fearless which is a big documentary on Taylors first tour and I feel like that pumped me up and made me SO happy to watch her successes. I truly am so grateful for her and that she made it. It makes me believe that I can really do the same and find my own way to it all. Then Marisa told me to watch the Kygo doc! Even though I had already seen it a while ago, seeing it again with fresh eyes and see Patrick Moxey talk......NO BRAINER TO SIGN. Kygo has been my GOAL and dream for so long and just the energy and connection to him is everything. Im grateful for Marisa for inspiring me and helping me feel that connection again. 

THEN BEN TEXTED ME TODAY! Ugh like finally. Seriously after I emailed Alex Koste to produce wild ones. I’m over that song now lol but i’m still so glad he’s finishing it. I love the drop so. much. 

There’s a level of confidence now that I believe the deal is helping me achieve. But in addition to that even its just all the abraham and rereading the surrender experiment, watching Taylor videos, it truly all connects. Like mom said. My yoga, running, going to Nicoles house and talking to people in normal jobs, it all. connects. Getting the text today from Dave saying midnight kids wants stems to halfway to your heart AND lonely like me..... I absolutely lost it. I FELT that true crazy dance screaming HIGH that Taylor felt when she wins an award or sees her stage for the first time like WOW. This is just the beginning. I LOVE these super high feelings SO MUCH! Especially for lonely like me. like COME ON! I wrote that all by myself. And I’ve always known that I can easily do that and be successful. It feels so incredible. All I want is to be featured on so many songs with kygo, odesza, gryffin... have big songs with them and go on TOUR with them. thats it for me. Be Sasha Sloan and Julia Michaels in ONE. Have my own songs and be known for my voice being on so many tracks. LETS GO!

It is truly the beginning. And interesting to remember my reading with that one psychic shane recommended me to and all I remember her saying is things will start picking up and coming together in June. JUNE! Here we are. It’s all coming together, and it’s all making sense. 

Also all the crazy numbers that pop up everywhere for me and Manon and her sending me a song called Ocean and getting an email from Oceanna from life of garden for a brand partnership at 9:17am is something I’ll never forget. We have been so extra aligned and i’m so utterly appreciative towards her and our friendship. she is my ROCK! So thankful. also I finished the 21 abundance meditation challenge casey sent to me WOO!

I am so. happy. 

[thehighhighlightlife]

May 12, 2020

Wake up, listen to my confidence affirmations, drink lemon/ginger water, do emma’s live stream yoga, meditate, get questions pumping for my interview today with Jeff, I LOVE doing these interviews. Its only been my second one now but gosh I just love questioning people and who they are and how they tick and got to where they are now. It THRILLS me.

I emailed Nate yesterday and told him I would go for the 2 years. I’m trusting that he’s working and taking care of it all now. I think this is the right way to go. To be a signed songwriter wow. Just to be able to say it and I know it will open up so much more for me here in the US. The fact that it will give me a bigger platform and help me do things on a bigger scale. I couldn’t be more excited. I cant WAIT for the email that comes in and Nate says.. all you have to do is sign. CHILLS! 

Talking to Manon again. I feel this crazy resonance in my soul when we talk for 4 hours. I really believe we were connected already through other lifetimes. 

Catching up with kerstin and dick. I love them so much!!! I’m so happy they make an effort to stay in touch. It means everything.

I’m working on so much album artwork! Interviews! Good eating and working out! Coming up with new song ideas as much as I can! I feel good here. I really love colorado its so beautiful. I cant wait to have my own place again though for sure. But i’m soaking the now in and enjoying it while it lasts. 

[thehighhighlightlife]

May 2020

Okay I clearly WISH I would keep up more here so here is my goal. At the end of each day, write down everything that happened that was the most memorable. the best things, Maybe even if its at the end of the week JUST KEEP WRITING TO REMEMBER LIFE!

So since September 2019 down below...

September 2019: Show at Pianos with Ben, moved upstairs, started working more with Clayton, went to Colorado for Daniels Bday and to see Big Wild @ red rocks! Surfed with Alyssa,

October 2019: Performed at Ludlow house, Went to Cornwall, London then AMSTERDAM! Stayed with Elisa in a gorgeous hotel, met Tom who told me if I come back to Berlin he’ll help me wants to sign me. Met the team and really had the best time ever. Worth every penny. Went to Nashville and stayed with Manon! We went to Kacey Musgraves concert and then Abraham the next day!

November 2019: Thanksgiving with Shane! Went to Knicks game with Laure!

December 2019: TOOK MY GREAT LEAP! It felt like a fuck it moment but I really pushed myself to change and give myself what I had been yearning for FOREVER. Ultra party, ATV holiday party, became close with Denise, scheduled meeting with Brett Alperowitz, christmas with the fam in colorado skiing. Trusted in myself more than ever.

January 2020!!: Sofar sounds show with Denise, Meeting at republic! BMI! sony threw a little party for me hehe so cute and sweet with levain and van lewuuans, GRAMMYS! LA with Denise, stayed with Sam and got to see Shane, Casey, Jeff. After parties... republic, 30before30 etc! Getting Haleys contracts squared away. 

February 2020: Birthday month!!! So many writes: Matteo, Carly, Alexa. Dom. Jeremy!! Spending my birthday with Emma. Denise. Matteo. Alexa. Dave & friends. From the event that Blue invited me too. To meeting Sheila and Diana. To going to The Knocks DJ set on my bday eve. To hitting it off with Jeremy. Going to Costa Rica. WHICH WAS A TRIP that is literally impossible to explain here. 

March 2020: GERMANY! Went to Bingen and saw omichen. then BERLIN! Went out with Avery and her brother and spencer on the very first night! Stayed in Prenz lauerberg at Sylvias for almost 2 weeks! Offered ultra publishing deal. Wowowowowow. Meeting with Franzi. AMAZING. Then stayed a night with Sarah Bird and then stayed the weekend with Antonia until I moved into my new place! It all totally worked out! Didn't think I was ready to go home after one month after everything started to get cancelled, so it perfectly worked out that I stayed another month.

April 2020: BERLIN! Music music music. I got so many songs. Worked with Doug. Leif. Patrick. They all saved me during that time when some things didn't work out. Still this was one of the happiest I ever was. It was hard at times managing my time and my thoughts but overall I was able to get myself out there SO much more. I performed 3 times outside and wanted to do 4 but I did the session with Leif so i’m good with that and I posted songs of my performing!!! getting over my insecurities feels amazing. End of April flew back to NYC, packed up my shit with corey and lezlie and got the HELL OUTTA THERE! 

May 2020: Ah, Denver. here we are. I feel so good here. I really do. I wish I had more privacy to do writes and sing and be more loud but other than that. I’m so thankful for my mom. I love her so much. I love Daniel so much. I love colorado so much. I feel good here. I feel safe and grounded. I’m working on my releases now. Which I feel like this all really worked out. I had my time of creating and now its promo time and release time. Getting ready for so much new music to come out. I really do want to sign to ultra even if its not the best deal. I just feel like its going to open up so many more doors for me. this is something I've wanted since i heard of ultra!!! i dont think its about tom. its about being in the system. not necessarily the person who hired me. I would love to go to LA but I want to have a gig lined up before then and maybe let this pandemic settle more. 

[thehighhighlightlife]

september - exactly one year later

well i’m still here! moved to 32 e 7th street and met B who now is a wonderful roomie/friend. I moved sep 1 upstairs in the loft room and its the best thing i could have done. i’m so happy i found lea. even if it was under the intention of me moving out this month and figuring it out. but then ben happened. clayton happened. denise happened. but ben. this is what i’m holding out for. this day to day bullshit that i couldn't be more fed up with on some days is what makes all of this WORTH IT. we are playing a show together next week under nellie levs and i really want to release music under that name too. i want us to be signed to casablanca records/republic. more than anything. i want us to put out music, tour, write songs for pitch, do. it. all. biggest thing for me is to NOT BE A RECEPTIONIST ANYMORE!!! I’m trusting in that big signal telling me its time. i know its coming. i know its coming. i know its coming. please universe, be by the end of the year. i dont think i can go on past christmas. I just want to soar with ben. so i’m trusting that we go all out for the whole end of the year and make a DENT in the universe and make it all happen. we are just so so so good together and i cannot wait for everything coming our way. so excited. so thrilled. so eager for more and bigger and better situations!! 

[thehighhighlightlife]

september

had the gut feeling to not sign in bushwick. put the deposit down while in lake george. felt right but at the same time there was a piece of me that wasn't fully sold. the day i got back, i went to see the place and had this gut wrenching feeling that it wasn't for me. called it off that night because i had a real sinking feeling and it was not resonating with me. LUCKILY so thankful for this that i got my deposit back, besides the 100 of course for the app fee but whatever the fact that i got the majority back is everything. i had like a week to find a place, something told me to text jake, the producer i met at the piercing spot and lord behold! turned out his roommate was never home so we agreed that i could move in. IN THE EAST VILLAGE. I still don’t think i’ll ever get over the fact that i live in such a prime location. lesson of the story? listen to your gut. it always knows. the code for my new place is 1600.

Sitting next to this guy Peter schwartz who was not only super cute but great to talk to and asked a lot of questions. Felt like we had a connection, and then right before he came around the corner again I got this intense ringing in my ear!!! then he came walking around and i felt like that was for sure connected. of course i didn't say what i wanted to and wished him well on his way, still contemplating adding him on insta but don't wanna be too weird idk hahah. the ringing was a really powerful energy connection i think.

THE ULTRA MUSIC PARTY OH MY EFFING GOD. connection. vibrational harmony. alignment. is all i have to say about that company... i will be signed to ultra music publishing. EASY. DONE. i will be signed to ultra music publishing. watching sofi tukker perform.. wow. i see myself doing that SO intensely. i want to perform. i just want to be up there. more than anything. feel the connection with an audience. sing with a partner. do electronic fun music!!! that feels so good. ugh yes. this this this. 

jeff pomerantz. we are going to easily be millionaires. him talking about how much he believes in me is so refreshing and just EXCITING. but its all about the person I am and thats what he sees in me. he picks up on my intelligence and energy. its incredible. bonded with richard and megan and kaylie at shake shack with jeff was the BEST. it makes sense why were friends. we talk about self improvement its all FABULOUS. 

[thehighhighlightlife]

May 27, 2018

went to the santa monica pier early in the AM to get some beach time before meetings. saw a guy walking along the beach that looked just like dad. when he was walking back he was like check out the dolphins! and they were in front of us- a majestic pool of dolphins gracing us with their presence. absolutely magical. 

[thehighhighlightlife]

May 12, 2018

Ran into Kygos manager and his squad at shake shack. HOW CASUAL. he didn't give me the time of day BUT his artist friend did. ever since then i would see his artwork at random times on the walls, like when i was at an event with corey and me and the artist were messaging on insta and then i looked up and his artwork was literally on the walls there. really sweet.

marisa also came into town that weekend it was so fun and a magical time in the city. 

[thehighhighlightlife]

ODESZA JUNE 16, 2018

Driving through winter park, got alcohol with daniel, pregaming in the parking lot, got extra tix, made $ back BOOYA! then dropped black tank somewhere outside, had to force myself to not get mad, def worked cause i had to wear my flower tank, ended up meeting TREVOR HALLS COUSIN LIKE OMGOMGG WTF?! we were like omg hi we are tall drunk giraffes lets be FRIENDS! and of course we were sitting in the same section so we just hit it off and now we sporadically talk on instagram and its GREAT. made me more intrigued about trevor and then went to a yoga class and they were playing his song Sagittarius. I love life. 

[thehighhighlightlife]

JULY 2018

Met Rachel Braathen at Propel co-lab.

Saw taylor with natalie at met life.

 recorded 3 demos with corey. 

saw yankees with linzy and zoe.

 Odesza at panorama.

Sam smith with sam. 

Daniel came to visit!!

Co-writes with sara, armen, tucker. 

Met with Russ at starbucks. 

[thehighhighlightlife]

June 29/30th, 2018

Had the Sony Writer Mixer, got buzzed feeling high off life with all my closest nyc friends. I felt truly powerful and ignited. There were only good people surrounding me and everyone realized it which was even crazier. Learned how to GO under pressure and get shit done. Then went to Mr. Purple and was surrounded by only the BEST people. I fully realized why I was with these people. We are all driven in a different way that the world may not all get. It was a really cool feeling to be in a group with people that are making an impact in the world. I realize more and more that those are the only types of people I fully surround myself with. 

Practiced songs with Madeline.

Got a spontaneous invite from Sam to go to SAM SMITH!

Had a magical night. 

Daniel flew in. 

Went to Jersey the next day. 

So excited and looking forward to a more relaxing week with it being the 4th of July.

[thehighhighlightlife]

June 28th, 2018

Sometimes the call of your inner voice is SO LOUD you just can't drown it out.

I had wanted to go see Chris Burkard’s seminar in union square on this thursday morning, but of course I had work. Bummer, but as luck would have it, as I left for my spin class at 6pm, on the big screen in the lobby was a photo of his and a long line of people waiting to go up to the event! What event this was I had NO idea all I knew for sure is that he would be there (After stalking his instagam stories) but I made the commitment to go to spin and I did. About 15 min i was like GET ME OUT AND UP TO THAT PARTY! The fact that I had access to this just by working in the building was CRAZY! So I bolted out of that class, changed and ran upstairs. Not knowing who I was going to talk to, I ate the appetizers and then walked up the staircase to the roof..

me and Chris totally locked eyes and we smiled at each other as if we both knew a secret of the universe no one else did... giddy as HELL I saw another line that I decided to stand in to talk to the person in front what this event was! As we were talking and he was explaining, the girl in front of me was intently listening. She heard me say I work at ATV and was like OMG HI i know someone who works there in Nashville! As luck would have it, I knew the person she was talking about because we had interned together and went to belmont together.. of course she was like.. I GO TO BELMONT! we had a hug and screamed like long lost sisters. The rest was a total blast and a blur. we found out that we were going to the same concert of our mutual belmont friend and I had no one to go with so of course we went together with another friend of hers who also went to belmont! this school paid for itself i swear!!! side note- the initial guy i talked to invited me to follow his instagram and as I followed the number his 142. I knew I was in the exact right place.

the night was magical as me and my two new friends Mia and Bryce took on BK that night and laughed about the school we all went to and how we were all one year apart. a night I’ll truly never forget. one of the highlights of nyc living and just dang life. you are a clever one aren't you?

[thehighhighlightlife]

June 27th, 2018

Activating the feeling of true love and appreciation just IGNITES life force. 

After having a heart to heart with Carrie, feeling fully truly aligned, and playing guitar in the stairwell, she sent me the most full loving text that made me feel so incredibly lucky to have landed here. Like how on earth did this even happen?!? when I really think back to when I first just found this job online I thought it was a shot in the dark, but somewhere there was hope. And then it happened. Out of everyone I am the most worthy right now. HOW COOL! 

Then as I was walking down the street I ran into one of the most powerful ladies in the industry that was SUCH a cool moment but it almost felt natural! crazy timing like cmon?!? I can’t wait to meet with BMI on Tuesday. ITS GOING TO BE THE BEST MEETING EVER!

I love everything happening right now. I can’t wait to keep watching everything unfold. I am in the exact right place at the right time and feel unstoppable. 

[thehighhighlightlife]

first post!

gosh wow. I can't WAIT to start doing this can’t believe I haven't started earlier but doing it now is going to change everything. just my online journal that I post the real and raw of every detail of my life. There is SO much endless magic that occurs on a daily basis so I can’t WAIT to throw it out here for memories, to maybe write a book one day, and maybe even inspire someone. here we go... let it begin!