thepaininurneck - Tumblr blog

[thepaininurneck]

this mfer has never stepped foot in a punk or alternative subculture in their LIFE and it shows

Someone is mad in my ask box that I'm posting maxvid hate. Hahahaha good. Die mad, Max and David would both think you're a fucking despicable human being 👍🏻

[thepaininurneck]

It's been two months since this post ( almost ), so I'm gonna update it now that I've seen some more progress! I also want to add a short little life update - my therapist and I have been discussing my HRT, and it's possible that I may begin taking proper injections instead of staying on a low-dose gel like I have been. It's really daunting honestly, because watching my brother go through HRT injections is crazy. I barely recognize him anymore and it's only been a couple of months and while I am so ecstatic for him, the thought of going through so much change so fast is scary. But anyways!

Nothing necessarily 'new' has popped up. It's mostly just the existing additions becoming more noticeable - my body hair is thicker and spreading, same for my facial hair, but neither are immediately identifiable as male. Still, progress is progress, and I've seen other changes becoming stronger, such as my skin texture. I noted in June that my skin "texture" had changed, but I should've used a different word.

Back then, my skin type had changed and I became oilier. Now, I notice more texture - a subtle spray of pores that weren't noticeable before, more prone to acne, my breakout zones changing entirely. I also break out like crazy body-wide, and the sudden urge to sweat like mad hasn't been helping. That's another thing that got worse by the way - my sweat smells now. It doesn't smell nice.

My voice has started changing a little more noticeable too. Namely in my vocal range - I find it a lot more stressful on my vocal cords to maintain my 'normal' voice, and I have a harder time changing tones. It makes it hard to sing in the car, be ause my voice cracks so much now and I can't hit a lot of notes without my voice literally giving out. Usually now I notice I sound like I'm trying to be an ASMR YouTuber, but honestly that's just how I'm the most comfortable talking lately! It feels the best on my throat.

My body fat has begun to distribute a little differently. I gained 13lbs, and I've gone up several sizes in pants. But I've noticed my hips getting slightly less noticeable, my arms filling out more along with my chest. I'm still noticeably feminine, but the basics are there. When I start working out consistently, Im curious to see what it's going to look like.

Overall, the changes are a lot more.....detail oriented than I first thought. I don't see a lot of other trans people document their HRT in a very detailed way, which I sort of which wasn't the case. There are some changes I wish I'd understood a little better, so hopefully my little journal project here helps someone else. But I haven't started changing my lifestyle yet to reflect the changes. My skincare is the same, as is my makeup, and I eat the same as I did before.

But it's funny how much it's changed me mentally. I don't take antidepressants anymore, and while my life isn't perfectly peachy, it's more manageable. I eat better. I look in the mirror and most days, I like the person I'm becoming. I feel excited every time I look in the mirror and notice all the things that have changed. Even things that, before, would've made me upset. I used to cry and spend hundreds of dollars on skincare, I used to be meticulous in making sure I had perfectly smooth skin, I used to obsess over it. I spent all of my teenage years fighting acne with the strongest facial cleansers I could find, because even a single pimple was bad.

Now, I really like my acne. It's not great - I have a ton of spots, and since I pop them, I have a ton of scabs and it isn't very appealing to look at - but I love it. That's part of me, part of my body, part of my natural life as an oily ass person. It's even to the point where I go out of my way to not mask it - my fiancee and I had photos done and I requested that my acne not be edited out of photos. I've never had this level of happiness in my own body, and it's wonderful. Freeing, mostly.

gonna start a thread to document all my changes on T because I haven't been able to find a lot of resources really detailing the changes and how they come, but I'm on a low-dose gel right now to try and make my transition a little smoother for family, so with that in mind here's my little three-month progress. Mild NSFW, because I'm not gonna censor the weird shit

- CLIT GROWTH. that was the first and biggest thing I noticed. Same for a lot more of an appetite and my period stopped within a month. When I skipped a month, I got my period, and it was sort of weird but not terrible.

- my face changed a little bit in terms of texture. My skin doesn't dry out as easily now and I get acne way easier and skincare products I used pre-T ( including makeup ) don't settle the same on my skin anymore.

- sweat. Dear God the sweat. I sweat constantly, even when I'm not really hot, and my deodorant doesn't really help so I'm gonna have to change brands.

- body hair! I've started to get thicker hair coming in. It's subtle, but my leg hair thickened, same for my pubic hair ( which spread, actually, so now I have ass-hair 👎 ) but I've also got some facial hair coming in and my already-existing tiny mustache is now a noticeable small stache!

Some other super tiny stuff I've seen so far is minor - stuff like my taste in foods or what I'm craving. I've gained weight easily since starting testosterone ( before T, I couldn't gain weight easily, and I lost it fast ). But I haven't seen any big personality or voice changes yet! Woohoo!

[thepaininurneck]

All of this, by the way, is because someone was complaining about Max being saturated as hell. Ered, David, and Nurf are all shades of PINK, and Space Kid is literally FUCKING BLUE. Not to mention Nerris being brick-colored. The skin colors in this show are saturated as hell because the entire show looks like it was made with a pack of fuckin' construction paper, you dumb fucks.

Alright, after listening to my fiancée bitch, i sat down and I swatched all 14 main cast members of Camp Camp. Ten campers, four adults, all color swatched WITH HEX CODES INCLUDED. Here's the first 10. I'll add the others in the comments.

[thepaininurneck]

Alright, after listening to my fiancée bitch, i sat down and I swatched all 14 main cast members of Camp Camp. Ten campers, four adults, all color swatched WITH HEX CODES INCLUDED. Here's the first 10. I'll add the others in the comments.

[thepaininurneck]

Alright, after listening to my fiancée bitch, i sat down and I swatched all 14 main cast members of Camp Camp. Ten campers, four adults, all color swatched WITH HEX CODES INCLUDED. Here's the first 10. I'll add the others in the comments.

[thepaininurneck]

Fact 1: My Little Pony G5 takes place 1000 years after G4 Fact 2: Equestria Girls takes place at the same time as G4, and the world depicted there seems to be contemporary to the 2010s technology and culture-wise (eg. Cell Phones, Gangnam Style) Therefore: It is the early 31st century in the EqG universe when G5 takes place

From this I propose:

[thepaininurneck]

new black butler anime how we feeling tonight girlies

[thepaininurneck]

[thepaininurneck]

Gonna add my two cents to the anti-proship discourse: when antis talk about how dark fiction isn't normal and should be banned, and its writers and people who enjoy it should be ashamed, you're regurgitating the exact same motto that Christians have run against gays for decades. When you say "You're a pedophile for enjoying fanfiction!" its the exact same as a Christian saying "You're a sexual predator for being gay!".

The censorship of 'problematic' media is not new. It just so happens that right now it's being packaged up in a nice, socially-acceptable guise of "protecting victims/children/normal people" from "freaks", but it's always been lile that. Books, sciences, entire cultures have been censored because they were deemed "weird" or morally incorrect. And don't even get me started on the parallels between antis and proshippers harassing each other and just about any fascist government entity in history.

I am ACTUALLY on the verge of just labeling every batshit-crazy keyboard watrior that cries over fiction a fascist. You're acting like one every time you tell someone they can't enjoy fiction or harass them for living their lives. Get a fucking life.

[thepaininurneck]

More ATSV as pinterest memes!

[thepaininurneck]

this is the future liberals want

[thepaininurneck]

While working on Across the Spiderverse, I painted this concept art of what Manhattan might look like in Gwen's watercolor style!

[thepaininurneck]

[thepaininurneck]

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK! SIMPLY EXISTING IS NOT CONSENT TO FETISHIZE!

Fat people deserve to post content without having to worry that their size is going to be fetishized or attributed to a weight related kink

[thepaininurneck]

Some Miguel artists are on here exposing themselves by drawing him like he's Vlad from Danny Phantom. Yall love your fucked up dads huh?

[thepaininurneck]

Parasite

[thepaininurneck]

when Peter B told Miles he was the reason why he finally felt ready to be a father-