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[theposhsworld]

get in bestie we’re trying out new things even though we’re scared

[theposhsworld]

I’m afraid of living a stagnant life. I want to do more, I want to see more, I want to be more. I want to constantly grow and better myself in who I am, in my friendships in my relationships, in my career, in every single aspect of my life. I never want to settle for anything or anyone, even the person I am.

[theposhsworld]

[theposhsworld]

Pilates never fails to make me feel rejuvenated.

[theposhsworld]

Happiness looks good on me.

Peace looks good on me.

Wealth looks good on me.

Prosperity looks good on me.

Joy looks good me.

Softness looks good on me.

Luxury looks good on me.

Security looks good on me.

Abundance looks good on me.

Love looks good on me.

I have everything that I could ever desire 💕

Credit Taneisha Fletcher

[theposhsworld]

The importance of reading the room! My mother worked as an interpreter for the UN and has a story for you ladies. One of her colleagues in the Chinese, Spanish or other language division who will be anonymous had a story about how reading the room is more important than being the best interpreter.

So these interpreters would fly over from their city or country to New York City and the UN would cover the interpreting costs and the per diem meaning hotel and food. One of the interpreters was married to a wealthy gentleman and would not take the per diem for the hotel as she would stay at a luxury hotel and go to to restaurants. My mother’s colleague stayed at a reasonable clean hotel 3 star walking distance within the UN to get there on time in a foreign city and basic food but it’s not cheap. So did most of their colleagues except one.

There was this one nerdy interpreter who was excellent at their job but insisted to be a pick me saying the UN money staying at a cockroach infested motel that was an hour commute every day, and ate power bars from the bottega. They thought they were so smart such a good pick me saving money for the UN at their expense, so surely Pickmeisha Nerdeisha get a promotion for putting up with cockroaches. And Pickmeishas Nerdiesha instead of pocketing the savings would be honest to return the extra money and report it.

Next time everyone’s per diems were cut substantially and everyone was asking why you can’t even find a two star enough subway stations to get to work on time and the women didn’t feel safe on the subway.

United Nations “Ms Pickmeisha Nerdisha Da Fooleisha saved us so much money twice so why can’t you interpreters live on the same budget?” A lot of what they earn would have to go into the hotel. So the interpreters gathered together and say “we need to get Ms Pickmeisha Nerdisha fired or there is no point into working for the UN in New York!”

So they came up with a plan to study Pickmeisha Nerdeisha Da Fooleisha’s mistakes and each of them report every flaw and mistake how she is a poor worker and not a team player. EVERYONE reported her and even got help.

Miss Pickmeisha Nerdeisha Da Fooleisha was officially fired for the team and could not work for the UN in New York in her language combination. She was so clueless. This smarty pants A student had perfect interpretation and tried hard to be perfect and save the company money and was super nice to everyone. Why did everyone hate her all of a sudden and suddenly everyone noticed only the tiniest errors she made and her colleagues far bigger mistakes were ignored. Pickmeisha Nerdeisha could not figure out what she did wrong!

If Pickmeisha studied the surroundings and thought what impact would she have on her colleagues who didn’t want to share the bed of cockroaches and wake up at the crack of dawn .. and just did like them she would not end up in this mess. She could have quietly pocketed the savings and use them to upgrade her messy hair and her wardrobe and been better off.

Your competence in your work skills gets you in the door but it’s your ability to read the room and understand people that gets you promoted.

Pickmeisha Nerdeisha was book smart and people foolish which cost her, her job and ability to advance. Why on earth do we praise girls for getting As but act like play time with friends is a waste. Maybe homework more than 5 minutes is a waste of time and playing with friends and learning social skills is a much more important investment. Eventually everyone will learn to be good enough at their job but it’s the social skills that take you to the next level.

We should praise our daughter for C’s and 3s and pay no attention to As and 5s. You did good enough now how did you play with your friends? What social skill did you learn? We used to put ladies a year in finishing school to develop social skills and sent boys to university. Maybe we should send everyone to a one year finishing school psychology networking and social skills boot camp and then train them a skill. I think people should study liberal arts or critical thinking on their own or in a Catholic university until the woke are kicked out of academia.

We put the wrong emphasis as society doesn’t reward your good grades and the doormat you are to the employer like Pickmeisha Nerdeisha was rewarded by being an A student and a pick me to her teachers. Real life doesn’t work that way.

You have to do a good enough job but also learn to read the room and not alienate your colleagues needlessly.

Credit Maria Al Massani

[theposhsworld]

I admire how she said no to long hours. The part of the story that they are not telling you is Arab & African women can be feminine and have a career because we have help at home. In lower income families the clan lives together so someone is cleaning and someone is babysitting as women who are not working work in the home together. In middle and upper class families you have maids and babysitters, cooks that make it possible for women to work outside the home because office worker women can easily afford domestic labour due to a lack of minimum wage. BECAUSE of minimum wage laws a western woman has to choose between a high powered career and family & because of anti family western work culture it’s impossible for successful women to set boundaries concerning their hours in the West.

In Africa and the Middle East you will see feminine career women balance work and family because of three factors: affordable domestic help from their salary, the family lives on the husband’s salary instead of 50-50 so she can actually afford domestic help, and #3 Arab wives can set work boundaries because of family that are seen as sacred and respected.

In the so called feminist West basically you have to lower your ambitions if you get married because crazy hours plus more domestic work and emotional labour gets too much before kids are even in the picture. If you do 50-50 it’s hard to get domestic help. Now even though we do, we clean after ourselves and have the occasional cleaning lady come in … if we had kids for me to work we would need a live in housekeeper and cook, possibly nanny. My parents live in a different part of town but let’s say my parents did agree to babysit so I am still on the hook for a live in maid and cook. Then I have to set boundaries with my office which would be looked down as women are weaker than gentlemen and unprofessional instead of Mashallah you are a mother taking care of the future of the society. Far more gentlemen can afford a trad wife in the West than a feminine working wife & mother, and a feminine working wife pretty much has to work for herself to have her time respected.

In the West when you see women at her level, the majority of them don’t have children. So before people believe the stereotype of Muslim women being oppressed understand western women actually face far more barriers and obstacles

Credit Maria Al Massani

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📝📖🧠🎓

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[theposhsworld]

Traits I’ve Noticed in Confident People 

Disciplined - if a target is set, it is achieved 

Speaking - Can speak multiple languages. Can express thoughts clearly even if vocabulary is limited. The listener understands their point. 

Strong extroversion socially - can approach and talk to new people with ease, but also make them feel comfortable. Good at following up, asking questions and inserting little stories about themselves without exposing too much 

Strong general knowledge / industry knowledge. They know what they’re talking about 

Hard to please but not arrogant about it. They won’t readily accept a fact or opinion, even if the majority agrees - they’ll debate with it, think over it, play the devil’s advocate

Good posture

Strong set of principles and self control. There’s no shame in wanting to say, help someone, choose not to drink socially, buy a coffee for a poor person on the street; they don’t hesitate to do good deeds 

Hygienic. Clean, groomed, well dressed, well maintained. 

Observant and proactive at the same time. Can pick up on body language relatively easily - can sense discomfort or unease in someone and do something about it. 

Have a strong sense of self identity. Can be opinionated but open to challenges. 

[theposhsworld]

“Only the disciplined ones in life are free. If you are undisciplined, you are a slave to your moods and your passions.” - Eliud Kipchoge

[theposhsworld]

feng shui is real.

delete photos. delete apps. rearrange some furniture. give some clothes away. delete numbers. make your phone display neater. organize your seasonings. organize your clothes. organize your life so you can think clearer.

[theposhsworld]

My therapist telling me there's no such thing as healing from trauma that's just a word they they throw around in wellness circles and the way to deal with your past is to learn to look it in the eye and not run probably quite literally saved my life.

Before you debate this with your PHD psychology from the university of Social Media, she's *my* therapist, not ours. Focus on being gentle with yourself.

Over the years I've learned the way to deal with everything, especially negative, is to not only look it in the eye but own it. This is particularly true to things that you're supposed to find humiliating and shameful. First off humiliation and shame are a waste of emotion, unsubscribe and accept as you grow you realize how silly you've been in the past, that's just life. Also, no one cares that much,love. No one.

Heres an example, take, having a promiscuous teenage phase, right? Leveling up is realizing there's no freedom or progress in promiscuity, (go cry feminist in the reblogs) - so you clean up your act. Be more feminine. Get your stuff together. Network and rise up the ranks. Move out of your teenage area to a better one- we are doing good- but one day in that one very important networking event you run into Alexa the Record Keeper, so Alexa and her jealousy decides to play wolf and attack. Oh my God you've cleaned up so well. No one could know you slept in more beds than you've had scores oh my God. Girl you used to be so on fire, the boys would tell us about you oh my god-

Now, you could tuck your tail between your legs and let everyone know you can be bullied by excusing yourself and leaving.

Or you could decide to let everyone know you're a doormat by trying to explain and justify and play victim

Or, you can look it in the eye. You can "wait, I remember you. Oh my God Alexa you look great too! Wait, wasn't Dustin your boyfriend? Girl he'd tell me so much about you, like, damn. No I did have a wild ride, good old days. I'm sorry about your bf, I was a teenager. And I did you a favor, you don't want to marry someone that tells others about your unpleasant tiddies and bed sounds, right? No girl he'd tell me everything- you know boys-"

Rule no.1 - never let anyone get away with bullying you. Bully your bullies.

Rule no.2- don't run. Own it.

Rule no.3- never explain never justify never deny.

You need to learn to look your shame in the eye and own it. No, yes I did that, and I had a field run with it. What about it? No, you're right. I am that. So? What about it? Oh my God yes I did this thing, you remember? Ah good times. The things I'd give to be the kind of girl that can do that again, it was everything. No you're right this is in fact true about me. Fascinating, isn't it? I can't imagine not having it.

Bully your bullies, always. Don't run, don't hide, own it. Do not explain do not justify, do not deny.

Look it in the eye and don't run. Yes its true. What the fuck about it, Bob?

START HERE

[theposhsworld]

The most effective unorthodox discipline advice I've received came from my bedmate in high school (daughter of a military household, you get the idea) was to live as if everyone that has ever doubted, shamed, hated, degraded (&c) me was watching me through spies and binoculars and I had a secret spy camera on me 24/7 and if I was ever caught lacking, I'm giving them the permission to do that to me and believe all those things about me. 24/7 , like I need to prove a point. Got me square real fast because one of my major goals in life is obviously to flex on the opps, why would I let myself get caught lacking?

START HERE

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the "so TBY you keep saying we shouldn't consume action based content, only consume philosophy and knowledge based content. What does that mean?" Masterpost.

The Yes you should consume list

Philosophy (Jordan Peterson, etc)

Science

Fashion & styling

Finance. For God's sake please overconsume finance.

History and culture

Government politics, GOVERNMENT, not social. International politics matter. We are talking economics.

Skills eg sign language, knitting, etc.

The Why Would You Choose To Consume List

Social politics X social justice bs

Action bases self improvement [how to be that Girl, etc]

Out of touch negativity , things you can't solve anyway

Gossip & pop culture

Pseudo X new age bs (manifesting, energy whatever, whatever divine bla bla)

Empty information. Like why do you even know that.

Shortcut; whatever moves your locus point within you, yes. Whatever is outside your locus point, what's the point. Internal locus>>> external locus. What's a locus? Find out ;)

[theposhsworld]

Level up secret; resist the survivor's guilt and savior complex that follows making it out of the streets.

⚠️controversial opinion⚠️ but that's why you're here, isn't it?

Heres the rule of the journey, you never look back. Most ladies make it out of the dirt broke life then sabotage everything by refusing to cut ties with it in the name of *I dOnT wAnT tO fOrgEt wHeRe I'm fRoM*. Girl no, forget. In fact do everything in your power to erase that part of your life off, and if you can't use it as a oh yeah I made it, like Anna Bey and Ronaldo and Rihanna does, you pull a Jennifer Lopez and sabotage all your progress. We have a fun story in the Bible about a certain woman that couldn't resist the urge to look back and turned into salt, yes its that serious. They call the Bible the greatest collection of philosophy to exist for a reason, if you look back you turn solute. That survivor's guilt of I made it but my, usually relatives, didn't so I have to keep tied to them will sabotage everything. That little savior complex of needing to save everyone will be the end of you. The most loving thing you can do as a woman is be self centered and selfish.

If women were self centered and selfish the world would be a better place, I will die on this hill. If you want to social justice fix the world so bad be boujee and expensive and hot and intellectually unconquerable, that's your service. Salvation is for the men, it was Jesus not Mary. Could've been Mary. It wasn't.

When you make it out of the ghetto the people you left behind resent you. They resent you because you hold a mirror to them, you're proof it can be done & because they didn't you very directly call them lazy and unmotivated just by existing. You hold a candle to all their flaws. You say hey look it can be done so why haven't you? They stop cheering the second you're one step above them and the sabotage begins. The idea that because they're family they're on your side lol. I say human beings are animals first, the day you get this the day your life gets easy. Your family is the most animalistic to you because they can get away with it. Your dad is your dad there's nothing you can do about that. Your friends people please you because you can cut them off but your sister is your sister, you're stuck. In my tribe we say a ship sinks from the hole on its boards, not from the waves. It's all from within. Or we say the lice lives in your hair, it's not the things outside that harm you, downfall is always an inside man's job, who k1lled Tupac? Who betrayed Jesus? Who fought Meghan Markle the hardest? Your family and social group is the most animalistic to you because they can get away with it, the faster you cut them off the better. Yes I've been accused of being too cutthroat too edges and sharp points yes I'll admit to it, why, because I didn't grow up privileged enough for the people around me to hide how much of animals they can be, I've seen the world in all its colors.

Lets take two ladies, me being one of them. Let's call one Alison and the other, me, let's call me Jessica. So Allie and Jessi. We met in uni, first year. Two peas of the same pod. So I'm black and Allie is Chinese, and we both come from poor families. So Allie and Jessi of course hit it off because misery loves company, our classmates will just never understand why we aren't jumping on a plane to the Four Seasons because they're aristocrats and we have to pay our sibling's school fees, naturally we gravitated toward each other from the moment we met, first year first week I made a friend. Of course we have the same goals so we pair up, partners and all. The difference is,I immigrated in high school & went to a boujee school that taught me stoicism and self centeredness and how life works as early as 14. Allie came for uni so she grew up with her family that taught her to be the masculine provider and work hard to support everyone so she spent high school studying for 4885799 hours a day then doing six jobs at night to pay for daddys gambling and bro's video games-

in case I didn't say this the patriarchy isn't as insufferable in society as it is in your household. Your brother and father could easily easily easily be your first abusers, and they usually feel entitled to your free labor because they ArE mEn. Yes sometimes moms if she's a single mom but no one feels more entitled to your paycheck than your bro and dad, @ me and tell me I'm wrong.

Back to the story, I've learned to focus on me first then the rest while Allie has been taught all her life its them first then maybe her but that's selfish. Because she's hardworking with that traditional Chinese work ethic & we utilize my networks Allie gets a job that actually pays more than mine does- more power to her. In no time she has two high peyong jobs, bombing her classes and overall being perfect, good for her. Because we are friends I teach her all I can about personal finance and how to set yourself up for a great financial future and because she's the smart one she teaches me to study and balance my work and school and personal life. Symbiosis at best. Reciprocity. Second year we part ways because we chose different electives and she transfers campuses. It's good. After a while Allie wants to meet up. I've done well for myself now, being a young adult and all, and I expect being obviously the better one of us with more opportunities she's done better for herself, so we get coffee and I'm excited for all the tips I'm about to get because she's smart like that, always something to learn from her. We talk for a while and boom. Allie needs some money.

Hold on. Rev tf up. Did you get fired? Because I talked to your workmates and you're doing good? No she isn't fired. In fact she got a third job online. Okay then what's going on? How can you be broke when you are doing better than me? I'm struggling to make my one little job work?

You know I send money home.

All of it?

Well they keep asking. When I say no they guilt trip be about I left for the west and got white washed and bla bla bla bla in conclusion dad is draining my pockets dry to be able to brag to his little drunk buddies his girl is in the west. I can't say no.

Uh, you can. No. It's, two letters. One syllable. No. Easy Peasy.

You don't understand my family worked so hard to give me this opportunity-

No. They didn't. You did. You worked hard and won a scholarship out of thousands of people at a top university, nothing they did could secure you that. You did

Ma'am goes on and on about bla bla it's family so bla bla bla I can't forget where I'm from I'm not like you so I-

So I cut her off. If she were like me she'd be making more than a high earner in interests per month. If she were like me she'd be incredibly selfish and only send home a fixed amount and nothing above. If she were like me she'd understand you can't pour from and empty cup, now that you have nothing who's benefitting? If you said no they'd be mad for a while then you'd build a financial base and in three four years give or take you'd be able to send more than they're asking you for and not feel the burden of it , but you have to keep looking back, don't you? It'S fAmiLy? Okay and? So are you. Are you not THEIR family? Do you see then looking out for you? A doormat is a doormat, ma'am. Laying yourself for your family doesn't make you some kind of holier doormat, a doormat is a doormat. That survivor's guilt of I made it and they didn't will be the end of you, trust me on this.

When you leave, you cut your ties for a while, that's the name of the game. Sometimes you cut ties forever. Jennifer Lopez & her documentary getting roasted left right center by people from the Bronx because she's trying so hard to fit in but they resent her for leaving when they didn't. When you make it, either the people you left get inspired and pull themselves out or they resent you, there's no in between and more often than not it's the latter. Forget where you came from. Ronaldo is from the streets and he casually mentions it but do you see him trying hard to fit in? No. Rihanna will mention once oh yeah I come from the roughs of the Carribean, that's it. End of story. Trying so hard to reconnect with where you're from is a death trap, the people you left behind expect you to finance their lives so its yeah you're from here so pay all my bills and give me a job at your office or you're fake. When you get wealthy your family that isn't yet suddenly need a couple thousand every month & if you don't provide it you're a whitewashed sellout bla bla bla & even if you do give it they'll resent you more because they feel looked down on & once you show them you need their approval you're dead dead. The Anna Bey method of using your past to sell three figure courses is my favorite. When you make it and get famous it will be your childhood friends and ex classmates and cousins spilling all the negative tea about you and exaggerating. If Meghan Markle taught you one thing let it be this. You're on your own, kid.

We will talk about this, soon, but helping people only causes them to resent you. You make more enemies being charitable than being selfish, we'll get to this.

Resist that survivor's guilt thing and never look back. Ever. When you leave, leave. Change your name if you have to & get plastic surgery or whatever. Don't look back. Matter of fact do everything to never be associated with it outside acknowledgment.

START HERE.

[theposhsworld]

Korina Longin for Richard Tyler 1997